The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - We Understand That We Will Never Understand, However, We Stand

Episode Date: June 2, 2020

#271: "We Understand That We Will Never Understand, However, We Stand" - Quote... Author Unknown  To Donate To The Official George Floyd Memorial Fund Click HERE To Donate To The Black Lives Matter Movement Click HERE

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! Guys, welcome back to The Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. Today, we are doing something a little bit different. We decided after much conversation this weekend that we wanted to sort of start a dialogue about everything that's going on in the world. Yeah. And I know a lot of people are probably listening to this show and there's a blackout period that's existing with many, many media channels. And I think that's everybody's choice, you know, just to decide how they want to express themselves. But for us, you know, and this is not passing judgment on other creators at all. It's just, we made the choice. We, you

know, we have a platform, a big platform and with a platform, you have to be responsible. I think some of you may have seen some of the posts on social that Lauren and I both have shared about everything that's going on in the world. And, you know, for, for us, it's really the mission of this of you may have seen some of the posts on social that Lauren and I both have shared about everything that's going on in the world. And, you know, for, for us, it's really the mission of this show to begin with was to bring on all sorts of different people, all walks of life, amplify different voices, have conversations that would, this community would benefit from, whether that was tips and tricks on skincare, comedic relief, hard hitting conversations, you know, social movement, social agendas, whatever made sense.

Like this, this show is meant to be a resource. And typically, and we've caught some flack for this in the past, you know, we have shied away from politics. The reason being is both Lauren and I believe that there's other people that are more invested in politics that understand the, the, the current issues a little bit more that can speak more eloquently. And it just honestly hasn't,'t been causes that we've wanted to talk so passionately about, right? We tend to stay out of the political fray and you just leave this show to have other topics. I mean, we've covered pretty much everything on here, but this topic and what's

going on in the world right now, this is not a political conversation. This is a human thing. This is a human issue. This is a human rights issue. And for that, we feel very passionately. And I think that it's important to use platforms like this to change the narrative, to change voices, to be a platform, to represent voices that may have been unheard, to be a resource for people to learn something new, to practice an open mind. And so that's what we want to do here. We want to open more minds to bring more positivity into this world. I think that if you saw the post that I did on the Skinny Confidential Facebook group, there's 55,000 plus women in the group. And like Michael said, we've shied away from talking about politics or business promotions or just pimping yourself out on that

page because it tends to cause fights. But this is one thing that I feel there needed to be an exception for because like Michael said, it's not political. I mean, there's elements of it that are political, but it's also it's a human issue. And I think that right now with the climate that we're in, it is important to start these discussions and have conversations so people can learn or unlearn or be educated. Yeah. And let's just start and get a few things out of the way so that all of our listeners can understand. Lauren and I have lived a privileged life, not just because we do well and we're successful

and we've benefited from that and from hard work, but also because we are born white in America and our perspective is much different than that of a person of color or a minority. We fully understand that. I get it. But in that, I still believe that this platform is a place to promote all walks of life. We've had black, white, gay, straight, trans, Asian, middle East. We've had every type of person on this show.

Could we do more? Of course. I think we can do more. And I think we can do better. And I think that that is one of the themes of this podcast today is that we wanted to come on here and just have this conversation live on air,

the conversations that we've been having behind closed doors. And we both have committed to doing better. We're going to try harder to amplify voices that are unheard even more. Yeah, that's all we can do. Like that's all. And what I want to say is that,

you know, I'm seeing a lot out there. I'm seeing a lot of posts out there and they start with like, I feel or me and our perspective is it's, this is not about us. This is not about Lauren and I, this is about voices that have felt unheard, underrepresented, oppressed. It's a time for, for people and our listeners and for everybody in this world to practice empathy and to listen more and to reserve space, a light heart in your space where you can try and understand what someone else's perspective is. It doesn't necessarily need to be how you're feeling about this. It's taking a step back and it's saying, wait a minute,

maybe I can learn something here. Maybe there's something new. It took me a few days until I was able to go and post on my feed about how I feel about everything that's going on in the world because I wanted to really digest and listen and hear what people had to say and hear and try to understand what other people's perspectives are. I'm not going to come on here with Lauren and act like we have all the answers. We don't. The point is that we're willing to learn and listen and we hope that we've created a community of like-minded people that are willing to do the same. I also think too that it's not an African-American's job to teach us about racism.

That is not their job. So I noticed that a lot of people are reaching out, like asking questions to a lot of my followers that are African-American. I've been having conversations with them behind the scenes on DMs and asking them to educate them. And I think that that is not their job. I think it's your job as a human

to go actively find television shows and books and actually go and do the work. Yeah. Listen, educate yourself. Do your best you can. And listen, there's a lot of people out there saying, oh, these conversations are hard to have. These conversations are not hard to have unless you're an asshole, right? They're not. Don't be an asshole. Don't be an asshole. We may stumble. We may be confused. We may misstep and listen, we'll probably get corrected. But the commitment to try to get better, to try to understand more, to reserve an empathetic space in your heart, to try to understand what someone else's perspective may be and what their experience may be is so important. If there's anything that this show can promote, it's inclusivity,

it's open-mindedness, it's a willing to try and learn something new. Do you know how many things that I've learned on this show? Can I learn more? Of course. Lauren and I have the benefit of getting to sit with these guests on the mic and learn from them directly, but we're learning at the same time as everybody else. And I hope to learn more in the future. And I think Lauren feels the same. I wanted to have this conversation here to say, listen, it's a time to listen.

It's not a time to talk about how you feel or what you think. It's a time to hear and be empathetic. For me personally, I am not just going to listen to big voices either. Like I'm not just going to listen to someone with a million followers or 200,000 followers or a bestselling author. I'm going to listen to people that have been supporting the skinny confidential and have something to say. I'm in my DM inbox talking to a lot of readers and people within the community and hearing what their thoughts are. There's a blackout today. It's Tuesday, but like for us, we feel like we have the platform of the

podcast and we want to use that to the best of our abilities. And if getting on the mic today and talking about this starts dialogue and conversation, that's what we want to be able to do ultimately. And I'm sure we're going to misstep and I'm sure we're going to get flack and we're going to come back and we're going to learn from that and say, okay, we can get better. That's the point. That's as a people, like I think everyone is, you know, they're sitting around, they don't know how to jump into the conversation. They don't know how to have it. And that's part of the problem. But what you should do instead, in my opinion, is say, listen, I don't really have all the

answers. I don't really understand. I don't really know. And I can never share that experience or perspective, but I want to take the steps to learn and to understand. And so if this platform can spark the conversation that helps more people do that, that that's what it's about. And I, you. And I also see

a lot of companies and people, they're probably trying to do the right thing and they're probably trying to jump in and share. But I don't want people doing that to check a box. I want people to think, is this coming from the heart? Are you really wanting to take a moment to learn more and to learn from somebody else's experience and practice empathy. If you listen to the post that I did the other day, it's all about just understanding other people and trying to be empathetic and trying to be a good person and reserving space to not project your own experience onto others, but to learn from theirs and say, okay, I may not understand, but I can do a better job to learn and get better so that I can help in the future and be a better person. That's it. That's all we can do as a people is try to be

better. I think that one thing I am seeing that I personally don't disagree with, and this is my opinion, is I'm seeing so much negativity being fought with negativity online. And we did a podcast on this and it really brings it full circle. I think that getting on someone's Instagram and fighting the negative with negative isn't a winning strategy. Well, I think a lot of that negativity occurs because you start a conversation and you see like you see like i'll use an example you know the movement black lives matter is is what is you know that's what we're all promoting right now and it's true and you know when when white privileged people and i'll call and i don't care if i'm going to get some flack for this i'll probably lose some followers but fine i don't care you know when you say all lives matter of course they do nobody's saying they don't what we're

saying is there's a segment of people that has felt underrepresented, unheard, and oppressed for a very long time. And we are showcasing their lives, black lives, their experiences in America. Nobody's taking away from your life or saying it doesn't matter. But if you've been a person of privilege, you haven't had the same experience, me included. And so it's not about us at the moment. It's about hearing a minority group and understanding what their perspective is and trying to figure out a better way to engage and understand them and and to understand what what other people's experiences could be and so like i think people just you know like i said in the beginning of this podcast a lot of people are saying well my or i or me in terms of their feelings or how i feel or how this is making me sad or how this is making me mad.

And while we understand that, if you haven't actually walked in that person's shoes, it makes it very narcissistic. Well, listen, to even dumb it down, it's like, okay, we get it. Like the world's in pain. Everybody's going to have a certain feeling about this. So Lauren and I, but the main thing here is there is a group of people that need to be heard and they need, and they have been unheard for a long time. And that's the point, right? And there's, and it's, and it's having conversations like this that I hope to help other people listen more. Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up and listen. And I think that's what a lot of people need to do right now, as I'm talking, I'm sorry, guys, but you know, we're going to keep this short. It's sometimes just shut the fuck up and listen and try to understand and try to be better. That's it.

So our commitment to the skinny confidential him and her podcast and to all my platforms is to bring more diverse guests on, have more diverse conversations, and explore people that feel unheard. That's what we can tell you guys. That is our stance on it. I would love to know if there's someone that you would like to hear on the podcast that is a person of color. We'd love to hear what they're doing.

If they have a small business, if they have a really great story, let me know on my latest Instagram at the Skin confidential. And like we said, we are committed to just doing better. That's all you can do is just try to be better and put it out there and tell people that are in our community to be better. Like that's it people be better. Don't be an asshole. If you, you know, if you have any hatred in your heart, get the, get the fuck out of this community or leave. Like there, you know, I can can't be not be more clear about that. I don't care if there's somebody, if you have any kind of hatred and you want to project that anywhere in this community, I don't care. Bye, gone, leave. Yeah. Unfollow. If you have any

racist bones in your body, unfollow us. We're not the people to follow. No. And for other privileged people out there, you have a responsibility to call out any evil when you see it. If you listen to my posts on Instagram, it's not just about being a good person. It's about not allowing evil to live in this world when you see it. It starts in your own front yard. It starts at home. It doesn't start anywhere else.

It's not about telling other people what to do. It's about taking care of yourself and yours first. And that's it, guys. So that's the message today. It's a short episode. We'll be back to regular scheduling on Friday. But you know, this is a time to heal. It's a time to be empathetic. It's a time to listen. It's a time to try to understand. That's it. If you guys want to get involved and you're unsure how, there's two charities that we're passionate about that

we're donating to. And the first one is the official George Floyd Memorial Fund. It's a GoFundMe page and it's gofundme.com slash F slash George Floyd. Another one that you should check out is Black Lives Matter. This is the national umbrella of the Black Lives Matter movement and donations go to Black Lives Matter and this goes to programs and actions across the country focused on ending white supremacy and state-sanctioned violence. And the URL for that is blacklivesmatter.com. So like I said, check those out. Those are two really great sites to

donate to. And with that, we will see you guys on Friday.