The Sloppy Boys - 108. The Lineup with Mike Mitchell

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

The guys convene at Mitch Manor for their most formidable challenge yet!THE LINEUP1 pint Guinness1 shot Jagermeister1 Jager Bomb (with Red Bull)1 can Bud LightPrepare all drinks and set them in a line. Finish quickly.Recipe via Mike Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Michael Hanford. I have a cat allergy. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, birthday boys, stylies? And joining us, inviting us into his very own home is Da Mitch Man, Mike Mitchell. What's up, everybody? It's me, Da Mitch Man.

It's Da Mitch, dude. What? No, it's cool. He's a cool guy. I'm here. I said cool. Actually, I'm not here. You're here at my place.

Oh. actually I'm not here you're here at my place oh I well I mentioned we're at Mitch's house and he's got cats

and I'm allergic to cats and I was same I walked in here and I said I took a Claritin and I said this is going to be great

I'm not sniffling but every tick of the minute I can feel my nose has a little itch on it and I'm trying not to touch myself or touch my face. I've been here for two hours and it is creeping

sad away. Did you drink a Claritin too? No, I don't want it to affect the drink of the day. I think the drink of the day is going to, well, that Claritin, it's going to be messy. Shouldn't have been sniffing at Wally's butt. I don't want to know what's coming out of there. I got right in there. Well, tell Wally not to wear those.

What's up, dudes? Welcome to Mitch Manor. Wait a minute. Who is this? Mitch Manor? How's it feel to be a homeowner? Hey, you're giving us some real homeowner real dose of homeowning. We walked in and you said the plumber's been coming. The plumber's

coming over. You have buyer's remorse. He's coming over to see the Mitch man. You said he's been pulling the pee right out of your dick instead of there's no toilet yeah why is it why is it hard shafts of urine that's what i don't understand he told me that i've been eating too much ice yes chill out um speaking of eating mitch Mitch, as a housewarming gift, because we're recording your home, I was at Albertsons, and I was like, I'm going to buy a snack that Mitch likes, and I remembered

you like Cool Ranch Doritos, and they said, I'm going to get a candy Mitch likes. I bought Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but what's your go-to? Is there a Mitch candy? What's a cup, dude? I love the cups. I love the cups. Those just knocked the chips over.

I love the cups. Those are my favorite. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers bar, but I think I'm Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and I was just complaining as you walked in the door. Spoiler alert from when this was recorded. The Halloween Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are smaller and not as good. They're not regulation. Wait, the full size cup is smaller.

That's been going on for years. It's the fun-size full-size cups are smaller. Jesus. Right, because you're not talking about the teeny little deep ones. You're talking about the ones that look from afar like they're normal. But you get in close and you realize they're just small. It throws off the architecture where the middle isn't soft, really. Let me tell you, I have this problem.

Everything you're saying right now, I've got this problem before. See it from afar, it looks kind of normal. You get up, it's kind of small. That's why you don't want to get up close to that thing. She's talking about your house. Speaking of which, there are Red Bulls in a freezer. I just wanted to warn everyone that they may explode. No, they've only been in there for 15, 20 minutes.

Maybe closer to an hour. Go get them. The danger zone. Okay. I'm doing this just because I am closest, easier to access to the fridge, not because I'm some sort of servant boy. Well, the servant boy gets the Red Bulls.

I used to leave cans in my freezer all the time, forgetting them. And lots of times, do you know what happens? It kind of prolapses. It expands. Yeah, it expands. And sometimes it'll burst, right? One time.

Now you're still talking about stuff I deal with. I did it one time with a Red Bull. Get this. Both sides, when I opened it, both sides had simultaneously shot off. So I was just left with a cylinder sleeve. Wow. What did you do with that? Let's just say I had a few million less sperm by the end of the occasion.

A million. Okay. So they all exploded in my face. I need to see a doctor. Perfect. My primary doctor. And you're also high-dose. Mike, you need a windscreen

over there, dude. I'm hearing... Me? Yes. Well, you know what we need is a little sock. Yeah. Well, maybe after the break.

Take a sock off your foot. That can kind of be cool. That's you. You could give him that, your screen. I don't know if I want to do that. I could what? I want a clean one. Because you got... Okay, there you go. You can give them that, your screen. I could what? I want a clean one.

Okay, there you go. Check, check. The audio fans, audiophiles are going to love this one. Okay, how's everybody doing? Cool. Is he popping? No, it's a little better. Well, don't try and pop.

I'm going to have to say P words. No, no. You prick. All right. We have Halloween on in the background. We're tryingword so forth. No, no. You prick. All right. We have Halloween on in the background. We're trying to ignore it. Halloween H2O. H2O.

H2O. Michael Myers is touching, what's her name's hand? Laurie Strode. Laurie Strode's hand. You guys want me to give you the big spoiler on Halloween ends? Yes. Sure. They kill Michael Myers and throw him in a grinder oh the app yeah but you need to find

somebody this is funny as you said that she did chop off michael myers head but i think maybe they just he'll be bad uh you order this cannon you haven't seen the last of him you never see the last of him uh and jeff feel last of him. Uh, and Jeff, feel free to bleep that whole thing. Cause maybe some people, Oh, they're fine. They had a nice heads up,

but Hey, let's get into a little booze news. Ready? Bip it. So like I, uh, so like i uh please allow me to introduce myself myself. I'm a mom. Hey! It's Booze News, you jackass! Alright, Symphony for the Slop was sent to us by Sam

Schilling, and if you have a Booze News theme... What was that? It's Mitch Manner! What was that? You're scared of your own house? It's an alert. It means Dracula's here. It means Dracula's here. It means Dracula's here.

You won't hear that again, folks. What was that, though? I can't tell you, Hanford. Oh, okay. It was just an alert. Tim, you were saying, if somebody has a Boozness theme, what do they do? Email to the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com. Mitch, you wouldn't know this if you don't email to the sloppy boys podcast at uh gmail.com mitch if you you wouldn't know

this if you don't listen to the pod but that sound of us shrieking was that uh jeff wore a dog collar yeah and every time a shot caller and every time he was he said the word like he got zapped because he's trying to not say like as much so those were those were shrieks. And then you got a good shriek. I cranked it up all the way and put it on my Adam's apple and I went, ah! Tim had it on the back of his neck and we headed up to the, I think the top 16 and you were like, you didn't blink. Well, I get off

on pain. Jeff was helping with an audition earlier and I think his taking away his lung function was like, what do you think of the audition? He was like, it was fine. I did not enjoy it. Well, you're going to say you like it. No, I'm cured. I like it.

Do you think you're going to book it? Oh, 100%. Do you do a lot of self-tapes? It's the Michael Scott. It's the office reboot for the role of Michael Scott. It's between you and DiCaprio. We're going A24 style this time. Do I do a lot of self-tapes?

Yeah, do you like to sling? We saw a self-tape now. Hey, I'm Mike Mitchell. I'm based in LA. I'm four foot two. A lot of people don't know that about you. A lot of people don't know that about me. I'm a little guy.

People think I'm big. Do you ever go in to do auditions in person anymore? Is that happening? Those days are done. It doesn that happening? Those days are done. That doesn't happen? Those days are over. He's not going to Ocean Park now. Guy right over here, Dutton.

Yeah. Or Mookie. Wait, we didn't actually introduce. In case someone was just searching the word, the lineup or something, and they don't know who Mitch is or who we are, we didn't introduce him. All right, we just assumed.

We all used to have a sketch group together called the birthday boys. And now Mitch has a podcast called the dough boys podcast. Sure. Nice. Everybody knows. That's all good to say. And Mitch was in the tomorrow war. Mitch, you are.

You're a Bostonian man. Yes. Hey, it's me. The Mitch man. I am. But also the today's drink doesn't come from the East Coast. My boy. What? What?

What? I've been led astray. Oh, my God. It's a West Coast invention. I didn't know this. Well, hold on. Let's get into that. Let's do the booze news.

We're doing a famed segment called Booze News. Let's do Booze News, then we'll get into the whole thing, because this is wild. I've got all the insane stuff. When we get to the drink of the day, we'll get to that. It'll be so cool. For Booze News, I just got some inside baseball to cover today. One is the Slopheads have spoken

in the DMs. They want us to cover beer. We put out the word. They want us out. Mitch, you weigh on this. A couple weeks ago, me and Hanford wanted to do Oktoberfest beers as an episode, even though it's a cocktail podcast. We screamed over it. They wanted to do a bad episode. And we do all these seltzers, like Bud Light Seltzer this

and Bud Light Seltzer that. So then we wanted to cover, like, say we would choose like Bit Burger Oktoberfest and do it as a thing. And it would be a fun seasonal treat. Like a spotting. Yeah, and then Jeff said no. And then Jeff, then I confronted him. And then he told people to DM us and say whether

or not we want, and overwhelmingly people said, yeah, I love beer. I would love to hear you guys talk about beer. Jeff, why did the seltzes count then? Because they're weird and fun. It backfired on Jeff because, well, he got what he wanted, but then he got yelled at by Tim.

Yeah. Now the guests, now the listeners see him as the are now the getting how the listeners see him as the villain of the podcast I'm the heel the heel here's the thing do you want to ciders right yeah do we really want to give do we want to give the keys to the slop heads is that really so that's good playing into your villain character in the best interest of the pods to let the people decide or is it up for the elites if it the pods to let the people decide? Or is it up for the elites to determine the direction of evolution? To the people who belong to means.

The elites, the people who happen to own the microphones. I do get what you're saying where you don't want the patients to run the... What is it? Asylum. Asylum. Do your patients ever pick your Doughboy stuff? Yeah, we do a thing now on the Doughboys Discord where they choose the double.

Oh, really? Really. How many times? You don't want to do it. How often is that? Because it used to be you and Wiker would put on a pot of coffee, stay up all night, try to choose. I mean, we just started doing it, but it would be a thing.

Every week? The issue was is that we would get to the night before the double. Right. You're all watching Halloween. You put this on. Jamie is really acting. You can't help yourselves. It's Halloween resurrection.

You've all got your eyes on. I'll tell you, when there's a TV on, I always look at it. There's moving parts. I'll be at a bar, and there's a a game on and i don't even watch the sport but my eyes will just look at it the whole time that's dog my hand goes to my fan all of a sudden i'm out 500 look wiger and i uh we uh both of us didn't want to do it anymore. It would be the night before the doubles and wagger would be like, let's do the, we'll draft different cuts of chicken or whatever.

I'm like, that's a horrible idea. Yeah. Like that's, that's all we'd like, you know, we draft or make a Mount Rushmore. Oh,

like wing versus tender chicken breast or whatever. Yeah. Great. You guys are smart, but this is the issue is that it would be the night before stuff. And we drafted oceans or whatever.'s like indian ocean it's not worth it eventually you just let the there's only four you can deal with we tend to pick hours when we're done we record the main cocktail pod first and then we do the blowout and then we decide what we're doing for the next week

right so generally the blowout is nothing like the double right what did i say below you said below but i'm just pointing out very there's no overlap with anything go boys no the names are slightly similar there's nothing any similarities are entirely unintentional right yeah he thinks i should check in with mr ginsburg my lawyer okay he's well, I read through all my law books and know the sloppy boys are clear. In fact, they own the doughboys now. You check in with your Ginsberg. We'll check in with Alan Ginsberg.

Yeah, man. We'll check in with him. Shit. All right. Hey, let's talk about the lineup. I'm curious. No. We got to get to the fucking booze news.

No, we have booze news. You haven't even closed up booze news. I was going to say, you should allow beer. That's all I want to say. It's boring. No, but if it's specific. We did O'Doul's. That's it.

Yeah, you do a specific thing. Okay, fine. Not just like a beer. You win. October Fest. I cry uncle. You win. You know what?

I don't like anything better than cracking an ice cold beer with my boys. Yeah. So why don't you talk about that on the pod? There you go. Baby, that's my kind of guy. Yeah, you know what? I'll do any beers you want anytime. Yeah.

Mitch's favorite beer. Mitch, when I met you, I assumed you'd be a big Sam Adams fan. No, you like Bud Light. I like Bud Light. Bud Light. Well, I turned into a sour boy. You remember those? Sure. And a cider boy. A sour boy.

The issue with the cider is you can't have too many ciders. We've talked about this before, man. I remember one day I found you in a bar in the corner, all green. That's what happened. Help me. Have you ever had, like, we went to Alma. You gotta go to Alma's. Talk to Lee. Talk to Lee. It's really, it's nothing like the ciders, like Kansas cider I to almost talk to lee talk to lee it's really it's nothing

like the ciders like kansas cider i had had these are like it's they're almost like champagne kind of i'm gonna say this i we were just together at a a movie screening you and i a bunch of scary movies just the other day yes we all were there but i brought i brought three ciders with me and they were up for grabs. My wife had one of them. Oh, I thought you had one. That's what I was excited about. I liked that brand.

That was like Golden Road or something. I wasn't mad about it. Golden State Cider. Jessica had one, not you? Yeah. But you should have heard. I never heard the end of it that night. Mitch buys the good stuff.

Mitch is a real man. You'll never measure up. What the fuck? What are you talking about? Yeah, I guess just get her a cider. She's like an easier or bigger cider, I guess. Yeah, I bought her a cider. She's like, my hero.

Mitch, you really measure up. You really measure up. You really measured up. Okay, last thing I wanted to say about booze was this just a travesty that happened to me um like a month ago there was an article that i read where um don the beachcomber the chain is expanding it's like like some restaurant group in Florida bought it and is going to be opening. It was defunct for a little bit.

Now they're going to be these tiki restaurants, and they have the licensing and the recipes to the original Don the Beach Comber brand. But I covered that in Booze News, and in order to read that article, I paid $4 and subscribed. To whom? To the Tampa Bay Business Journal.

Right, right, right. And now here's a scandal that we've had. We have a company card for the Sloppy Boys. And it rocks the pot. Sloppy Boys LLC company cards. I always forget to use mine. Hanford rides around New York City in Ubers and charges them to the company.

That was accidental. So I put this on my own credit card. Hanford showed me the receipts once. It's mostly toilet paper on that, right? Yeah. Quite a few rolls per day. Printed on toilet paper too. Listen to this.

You know how, what happens when you sign up for a thing, you forget and then it auto renews next month. This one, it was $4 for the first month. And then I didn't cancel in time. And then it charged me $140. For a year? for a year. How? So I'm calling out the Tampa Bay Business

Journal for their business practices. They did that on purpose to charge me $4 and then 30 days later $140. They dangled an article you couldn't resist. Everyone's going to want to read that. Also it was like a two paragraph article. I read the first paragraph and it was like, pay to keep reading

and it was just like, yeah, that's pretty much it. It was good article, wasn't it? Also, a hundred of that goes to the Ron DeSantis president. I mean, he's got my vote. Now he's got all my money. And the Tampa Bay Chronicle offices are like, hey, this guy Tim,

it's getting to the 29 days. He must really want this. It was down to the wire. They're probably looking at the analytics and being like, somebody, this guy Tim, it's getting to the 29 days. He must really want this. It's going to be great. It was down to the wire. They're probably looking at the analytics and being like, hmm, somebody in LA. That's awful interested in what's going on here in Tampa Bay. That sucks, man. So Don the Beachcomber

is coming back. Let me guess. Jeff doesn't want to come back. Jeff won't allow it. No, Jeff thinks it doesn't fit the rules. I like Don, and I wish him the best. Wait, was this, hold on. Going back to the $100, was this on the Sloppy Boys? No.

No, $140 on my own AAA signature Visa card. Damn. Which, by the way, I have lost. You're never going to be able to cancel it. So Tim has been mismanaging money though recently we had a thing recently where i paid for something for all the sloppy boys and you guys had to pay me back and i you jeff you pay me back the 33 dollars and then i said to tim after a few days i said oh tim you still owe me this he said i paid it and gave me a screen grab of your venmo that

said mike hanford and you circled it and then jeff chimed in oh he's even got the numbers and i said that's not me man it was the wrong mike hanford me who the hell was this guy some dude who's getting podcast fees all over town but what's so funny is you you've paid me before and and it's gone through so you must have just like i usually just go to my list of who I've paid and find them there. He probably has hundreds of dollars of Mike's money. No, because I always get paid by Tim. So this is just a one-off freak thing.

I don't know why on this day I typed in Mike Hanford instead of just going to my normal people. I use Venmo as my main social media, the news feed and the friends and all that. If I had to guess what the other Mike Hanford does, I use Venmo as my main social media, the newsfeed and the friends and all that. If I had to guess what the other Mike Hanford does, I would say that he's probably like

a chicken matchmaker. So what do you say? So are you making fun of me? Because I'm not a chicken. No, I'm just thinking of like two chickens who are single and he hooks them up. If I just had to guess, like, if they're like, what do you think a Mike Hanford does? I'd be like, based on the Mike Hanford I know, I'd say. Oh, is it because of my little chicken legs?

I was saying a chicken matchmaker. I'm not saying you're trying to match yourself with the chickens. If I have little chicken legs, I can see what's good about a chicken and not good about it. I think that if you have little chicken legs, you can walk amongst them. You think I'm some sort of gonzo. If you were drafting chicken parts, what would you do? I'd go wing, wing, drum, drum ring, wing, ring, wing.

I'd go drum ring. Press wing thigh. Wait, that reminded me of a classic Mitchism where back at our old house, we were shooting a sketch and then the doritos were upstairs and you someone was going upstairs and you wanted the doritos and he said ring dong during though that's what that was yeah bring down the doritos during though and then wasn't that a

ring dong ditch too there was a combination of ring dong ring dong ditch ring dong during though you were eating something or drinking something. So it just came like ring dong Doringo. I think this guy is very excited about Doritos. Here's the thing. Everybody was listening. If you want someone to bring down Doritos, from now on, it's ring dong Dorito. It's a simpler way.

It wasn't even Dorito. It was Doringo. Oh, sorry. Ring dong Doringo. That's what it is. Ring dong Doringo. Okay. So to Mike Hanford's credit,

the other Mike Hanford, my favorite Mike Hanford. Listen, you want to know the end of the story? Well, you've got happy chickens. Yeah, they're lovebirds. I messaged him and I said, hey, hey buddy. Ha ha ha.

So I think I paid you by accident. Ha ha. Wrong Mike Hanford. Would you mind sending that money back? Ha ha. And he didn't message me you, would you mind sending that money back? Ha ha. And he didn't message me back and he didn't like pay me. He just liked it. No,

he, it, it, uh, Venmo just texted me and was like, your, your payment has been rebuffed or whatever. That's great.

Yeah. Hey, what a nice guy. He's, you know, he's probably rolling on the dough from all that. Yeah, really?

Chicken matchmaking. Rolling in the eggs at least. It's a skilled guy. You know what? He's probably rolling in the dough from all that. Yeah, really. Chicken matchmaking. Rolling in the eggs, at least. It's a skilled job. Also, you brought up Gonzo, so I think that we should address it for a second. Okay. What would you like to say? Oh, because I have a big nose, too? No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying you brought up Gonzo. Is he dating chickens? Because Gonzo dated chickens, right? Is that? Yeah. Yeah. Camille, I think,'s the main meal but but he also had like a kind of like in a harem vibe yeah he had like like kind of like a pussycat dolls review like in his kind of a dutton's delight yeah sort of

situation it's turkey burgers or wait yeah. Camille. Camille was his girlfriend. Yeah. Well, that was the one he talked to and held mostly. Karine is my mother. I'm slightly nervous. I think you're safe. It's a different name. Okay. And she's not a chicken organza.

All right. Good. So he was, but he did date a chicken, I guess, is what I was trying to say. I don't know if he was just around him or what. What? Is that scandalous? I don't know. I was just wondering. Everyone What is that scandalous? I don't know. I just wondering everyone alludes to it,

but the pig dates the frog. That's okay. And fucks them all. No, they're, they clarified that episode. They said they do everything. But yeah,

everything in the butt. Stop. Hanford. You're an anal. You have an anal fixation. Based on, based on what you've recently said. All right. Based on what you say.

Bacon frog loved each other, but Kermit was also hesitant. Let's not forget. Yeah, that's the best part. Should we put on Muppet movie in the background instead? Yeah, I love that movie. What do you mean by that was the best part? I like that they have a little will they, won't they?

Oh, I see what you mean. Okay. He's just shy. Jeff was sitting on the edge of a seat stirring all those movies waiting to see what happened. Oh, God.

It is funny when they finally embrace. They've been a couple for like 40 years and then when she is like too forward about it, he's like,

piggy, little piggy. I love those guys. You know, you don't see them around Hollywood as much. Yeah, those little fuzz balls. Sure. Yeah. All right. Close up that.

Close up the. Oh, the boosters. We're going to get into the. Close it up. You know, here's a fun fact. Hold on. Bring down during dough. We're closed up.

That's booze news. I'm going to open up. Speaking of closing up, I'm going to open up the Doritos. Close booze news and open up. Now here's a birthday boys. Fun fact. This is going to be awful.

Some people love the crunch. No, nobody loves the crunch. Some people love it. This is going to be awful. Some people love the crunch. No, nobody loves the crunch. Some people love it. Everybody gets off on the crunch. Can we get into the history of the lineup? Yes. Yes, we can. But I also want to say just some fun facts.

I know that we were talking about bits. We almost, the birthday boys, remember we were talking about writing in season. Remember we talked about Henson Studios? Do you remember this? We talked about Henson Studios. We talked remember this? We talked about Henson Studios. We talked about writing for writing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should have done that.

We couldn't afford it. But actually, season one, we wrote at the lot, the Formosa lot, and that was fun as fuck. They were shooting True Blood there at the time. That's right. We put garlic on our front door. And we were directly below the game of thrones editing suite and right next to the game of thrones writers room season two that's fucking

wild season two writers room i remember walking by that window and be like bison red video they were like what color could this wedding be people are gonna get pissed at us but we left a stack for seasons uh the last three seasons out in front of their door when we left so they're like well i'll use it we'll use it and so if you don't like it that's that's that's basically all right but we did for real um i hadn't seen well i did it i did watch season one when it was new but we looked in the i remember like creep around a lot late at night and looking in their window and seeing the whiteboard was season two all mapped out. I was pissed off because I walked by one day and I saw, saw George R.

Martin writing something down. And then I looked and he, uh, he had created Hodor just for me walking by. He looked inspired when you walked by. Yeah. It was fucking bullshit, man.

You know what I, uh, you guys watch a white Lotus the first season. No. Yes. Well, I watched the first episode of season two. And I'm now,

this doesn't happen often, I am current with a show. It's happening now. Did you watch season one? Nope. You don't need to. That's cool. That's perfect.

I'm going to be in the conversation for the next two months. I like the show. I watched some of that episode, one of the new season, and I said, this is fun. Okay, good, great. White Lotus

is fine, but I like White Flotus. Jill Biden. Wow. Tell us about the drink, Mitch. What? Okay. I don't want to talk about Jill Biden. Mike and Jeff, do you know exactly what this drink is? I've been told about it before.

I've heard the lineup mentioned by Mitch for two decades, and then I went to the store and bought the ingredients so that I know the ingredients, but even I am not familiar with the measures and the order and all this. It's a stunt drink.

I didn't know that there was a timing aspect. That's a good thing. What I'm saying is I've heard not had. It's not a stunt drink. That's a good thing. What I'm saying is I've heard not had. Right. Is it not a stunt drink? A challenge drink? It's a challenge drink. Okay. Okay. So here's the origin of this. We'll use whatever terms you prefer. I was down in Encinitas, San Diego, right near

Juanitas, Tim. The taco place. We ate there on tour. Yeah, California burrito. Fantastic. We had a fish California burrito, and the fish was fried, so it was just like all fried stuff in there. I don't worry about that. What did you think? Was it still good?

We passed away. It was delicious, actually. I got the Arizona burrito. Go ahead. Go ahead. My friend Joe Aranda, who this whole story is about. I know him. Of course you do.

He lived in the basement with me in Ithaca on Pennsylvania Avenue. Speaking of Florida. Sort of a pre-Grog. A pre-Grog. I mean, it was very Grog-like. Very dark, dank, cold. But Joe Aranda lived down there. But Joe lived in Encinitas.

So that's where he's from? That's where he's from. Came to Ithaca. What a place a place to be from everyone said why did you come to ithaca this doesn't make any sense but uh randy uh we call him randy or randy poof he uh he he uh he's from entonitas tanford's pointing out a character in the halloween a nerd guy a nerd guy um he reminds me of me when I was you tonight. It is like a college guy and he's touching their underwear now. Oh, he's smelling there. Oh boy.

Oh no, he's the little greasy stick boy. Yeah, a little greasy grimy guy. Not like me and Joe Aranda who were cool dudes. Right, right, strutting her eyes about Hanford Hanford. You visited the dungeon down there. You were down in that place.

But Joe went back to Encinitas. I move out to LA. I meet the birthday boys. History is made, as we all know. But hey, when I'm like 23, 24, I'm going to go down and visit my friend Joe Aranda down in Encinitas. That's the time. That time in your life, you got to visit your friend.

I go down there. We go out for the night. It's me, Joe Aranda, Tim the Night Train Cletzel. That's the time that time in your life. You got to visit your friend. I go down there. We go out for the night. It's me, Joe Ronda, Tim, the night train, Cletzel. That's his name. And the three of us are hanging out. That's what they that's his name. Cletzel, Tim Cletzel. Tim Cletzel will be excited. He'll be excited to hear that we're talking about this. Maybe not to

but he he said, let's do a lineup. I said, what does that mean? He said it's a pint of Guinness. It's a shot of Jaeger. It's another shot of Jaeger and a Jaeger bomb and a Bud Light. And a Jaeger bomb is a shot of Jaeger dropped into half a glass of Red Bull. That's correct. I'll be up all night.

So I say, all right, this seems scary, but let's do it. He gets all the ingredients. I do it. I did it in under 30 seconds. Okay, this is when I did it in under 30 seconds. I didn't know that there was a timing aspect. You're really supposed to go boom, boom, boom. Under 30 seconds? I would only get

the pint of Guinness down in 30 seconds. Oh, I couldn't even do that in 30 seconds. That is pride is under 30 seconds. Look, I can't even do that in 30 seconds. That is pride is under 30 seconds. Pride? Yeah, in the name of love. But when they say it's pride month and pride weekend and pride, it's about this? It's the same thing.

So you basically, here's the thing. I took down the Guinness. I took down the two shots. I'm at 15 seconds. I did it quick. I used to be able to drink fast. I'm ch took down the Guinness. I took down the two shots. I got, you know, I'm at 15 seconds. I did it quick. I used to be able to drink fast. I'm chugging the Bud Light.

Yeah. Which is usually a bottle of Bud Light. And I'm thrilled that you got a favorite drink, which, which I was thrilled. You got cans. Cause cans are easier to, to swig.

Really? I would think that glug is your chug. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't really tell you that, but, but I'm happy that you have cans. I look over at Tim kletzel's his

jaws on the fucking ground i finished the bud light and he said the bud light was to just carry around afterwards wow now it's changed forever he says the lineup is now has the is the bud light the Bud Light at the end of it. Hey, a rising tide raises all ships. That's Jeff. I agree. So Jeff, we did that night. I think we did four lineups. We did four of these and I walked a lot of liquid. Man, she

incents Encinitas one night in Encinitas. I walked through a crosswalk with my pants around my ankle. So that just shows you the state. It's going to put you in just going to say, yeah, we I mean, I'll say this once you do one. Anyway, the story that it keeps going.

I come back home. People have heard of the lineup to LA to LA from I come back to. No, I'm sorry. I come back to Quincy, Massachusetts'm sorry. I come back to Quincy, Massachusetts. And people have heard of the lineup. Then like on Thanksgiving Eve, people are like,

you should do a lineup. Cause I told them about the lineup. Oh man. And I was like, I don't want to do it. And they're like, we'll buy you the stuff. And I'm like,

well, that's not what was keeping you from doing it, but they buy me the stuff. They do it. And then my Dean, my Dean, what's his name? Dean Richard. We'll just say Dean Norris. You know what?

It was Dean Coughlin. Mr. Coughlin. My Dean. My Dean. We were in this place. Maliki's was a salty. You were out. What's your Dean?

You're out of school. Why do you have a dean? It was my old high school dean. Listen, listen. This will make sense. Principal. Listen, that's the problem. I've listened to these words of drafts. My former high school dean was at the bar at Maliki's.

This little watering hole. A dive back in Quincy, Mass. The dean's in a dive? The dean's in the dive. He sees me do the lineup. My mom back in Quincy, Mass. The Dean's in a dive? The Dean's in the dive. He sees me do the lineup. My mom. And he says, detention. My mom still works at North Quincy High School. He tells my mom about it.

Were you underage? No. That's what we promote on this podcast. Probably 24, 25. Right, you said that. And then I promote on this podcast. 20, you know, probably 24, 25. Oh, right. You said that. And then, um, I said, I've said this to my buddy, Eddie, and he always, uh, he always repeats it.

My dad was like, you don't want to be the village. Idiot boy was kind of like his line to me. He was like, don't be the village idiot now. Cause he heard about, he heard about the lineup and then they, they gave me a lot of shit about the lineup. They were like, you idiot. And then on Christmas I opened up my stocking, and there's Goldschlager in there because they misunderstood

what the lineup is. And so I'm going to say this. I've had other people do it before. You're a legitimate boy. Where are your brains, boy? That's that. He's on his channel. boy? That's that. He's on his channel. We got to post that.

We'll post that at the end of the episode. It's hard to do. First of all, I'll say that. It's hard to do. It hits you like a fucking train. Right. You might throw up. I'm warning people who listen to this not to do it unless you do it in a safe environment.

It's not easy i i feel like it's like a time bomb where like if i get it all down yeah then you're just waiting for all of that to hit you and we haven't had anything to drink tonight usually that's weird on this podcast too it's a good thing though in some ways i guess in some ways but sometimes i like to have had one little drink early in the night just so my body is like, we're drinking tonight. You don't want to catch the liver unawares. What the fuck are we doing? I feel like on this podcast, if I drink that much, then there's going to be like a 10-minute delay, and then it's all going to hit me at once. But I also take issue with, so wait a second.

Was it Tim Night Train Caviezel or Joe Aranda who invented the lineup? Ooh, that's... I think it was the Night Train, Tim Kletzel. Okay, Tim Kletzel. I just... If I were inventing... But Mitch Mod... It was a Mitch Modifier.

Mitch Modifier, yes, because usually you would sip the Bud Light, but Mitch chugged the Bud Light. I chugged the Bud Light. Changed it forever. Here's the thing. There's just a, there's the redundancy of the Jaeger shot. And then the Jaeger bomb.

Yeah. I would noodle with that. I I'm down for a big, I love the name, the lineup. And I love working my way down a line of, but I think I would have done a thing where it's like, you know,

like a, a fruity shot followed by a creamy shot followed by a beer and a little bit of a wine or something like this all the different here's the crazy thing about it that you'll see it weirdly kind of works too it is hard to hold down as a taste you're saying as it works in like the the way you're i do so this is how i do i do the guinness i do the shot of jaeger i do the jaeger bomb then i chug the bud light and it all isn't as gross as you would think it would be well chugging guinness is delicious and it's the best it's a good chugging beer because it's flat kind of yeah and then i love a jaeger shot a nice cold jaeger shot we have it in the freezer that's fun i've never done a jaeger bomb

in my life jaeger bomb is not good and and Red Bull is a weird part of this. I like Red Bull. The Jaeger is the thing that gives me pause. I'm not going to be able to chug the Bud Light. That's what I have. Bud Light is the scary part of it. Can I pour it out into a glass? Here's the thing.

I'm concerned that... I don't want that much gas in my stomach. I'm concerned that doing it properly... I know a way to get that out. Look, doing it properly makes for a bad podcast, though, is my thing. Here's what I'm thinking. We can't all fall silent. I don't know who wants to join me, but I'm going to try to

do it my old way. I'm going to try to do the show. Oh, I'm going to try to do it. I'm going to fail terribly. I want to do it your way too, but I wonder what's better podcasting. Should we do it one at a time so that we can do the play by play as the guy's going? Because if four of us are just silent. Maybe we do two at a time.

Oh, yeah, we're drinking the stuff. Why did they come up with this huge ruse to just suck each other's dicks? This would be a hit podcast if we just said we were sucking each other's dicks. No, it's the lineup. The lineup. The whole line. guys and we just said we were sucking each other's things no it's it's the lineup four of us lying to each other look i i will go first great and you just want to knock it out and so we want to see how it's done yeah i'm gonna tell you right now i'm scared good you should be

we're in mitch manor this is cutting edge podcasting and i'm scared i'm. You should be. I'm terrified. We're in Mitch Manor. This is cutting edge podcasting. And I'm scared. I'm on the edge of my seat. We already had the Dracula alarm go off. It's scary, spooky stuff is going to happen. I don't. You know what's going to happen? You want to go.

Hanford, again, you're the errand boy. Would you want to get that? Want to get. Want to start getting stuff? Yeah, we'll take our break now. And we'll. Oh, that's a great idea. Folks.

Are any of you nervous i know what i'm nervous about well i'll save no i might turn i'm not nervous here's what i want to happen you blow it and then i save the day what's what's nervous save the day to what end you got something nervous about because you got such an unbeatable record, time record happening. Right. I did it. Everything to lose. So I did it like as an old man.

I like came back. Like, you know, like when MLB players have their final season and they're like they can still hit a home run. And I did the lineup, but it was like 58 seconds it took me. You're like Rocky and we're like three creeds. That's right. On each other's shoulders. Older creeds.

Do you have a hologram creed? What's the secret to chug? When you chug, are you going like the guy from the man show, Red or Fox or Red Fox? Do you relax your throat

and try to just or are you sipping? Because my thing with chugging. Well, that's what I do. I do multiple gulps. I can chug a pint of beer pretty easily out of a glass, but out of a can, I kind of can't. It foams up and I get burpy. What if you do a little puncture hole?

I'll say this. That can be something. I want to drink out of glasses. Tim was correct. You can. Tim was correct. Express yourself, Tim. I want to drink out of glasses. You can. Express yourself, Tim. I want to drink out of glasses. Tim was correct.

The Bud Bite is the most nerve-wracking part of it. It's the thing I'm the most scared about. It's the thing I'm most confident about. You're going to do this. You're going to drink the Guinness and you're going to go, that one easier than I thought. You're going to do the shot and the Jager Barmer and you're going to go, that's tough but all right. And then you get to the Bud Bite

and that's where things go. You know what happens to me because when i chug when i chug something sometimes and like i don't know uh my my throat like seizes up like like this pain in my like chest do you know what i'm talking about i don't know about that like it's just like muscles contracting too weirdly here's here's another thing i am nervous one of you is going to throw up. Yeah, we need a bucket. Yeah, maybe we won't move. We should move this computer. No, we can puke wherever we want. It's fine. Let me tell you this. This happened to me today. This morning I was brushing

my teeth. Sure. And then I got to the part where I was like, oh, it's time to brush my tongue. And about half the time I gag when I'm doing that. Sure. You want to clean that thing yeah uh today how far back you're going on that tongue you're getting the bottom of it i get some stomach acid on it um it pokes out my butthole too far hello this oral b smells like anal tea

um no you know what was happening today was um i was i brushed my teeth and then it came time to do the gag part and the mere thought you call it the gag part yeah the mere thought oh this i love this commercial the guy takes a big bite of a chicken thigh and it's funny anyway um i hadn't even done a brush my tongue or, but the mere thought of like, oh, I wonder if I'm going to gag, I got a little nauseous and gaggy just thinking about it. Before I even... I'm getting nauseous.

I'm trying to not think too much about the chug of it all. Should I open a door in case we have to puke? I could open this door here in case. We're all locked in around a nice sectional. We're not going to make it to the door. We'd have to move the microphones. So I have,

I don't have a bucket. I have an Amazon box. Perfect. What about a bowl? What about a big bowl? I have a big, you have a big popcorn bowl. You have a big bowl.

Oh God. I have a disgusting. I have that plastic. All right. That's what we'll have a puke bag. Well, I gotta tell you a really funny joke. I was. I got to tell you a really funny joke. I was doing some opening.

Nobody's puking. A really funny joke. I was doing. Yes. I was opening a few shows for Kevin Nealon recently. Hell yeah. And he had. It's his joke.

He had a super funny joke about. I'm not going to get the wording right. But the idea was like, you know, you go to somebody's house and you're watching a movie or something. They give you popcorns in the big bowl. How many. Are you're eating that popcorn. You're like, I wonder if this is their puke bowl. It's like, that's what the puke bowls are.

There's bowls in the house. He's a funny guy. I've barfed in my big, beautiful, like, the stainless steel bowl I mix my salads in. When I was in high school, Chankton came over charlie chankton and charlie charlie chankton and we got drunk on booze like before my mom got before my mom even came home from school and we got we were coming home from my high school so this is 4 p.m something and uh this it was it was like 3 30 p.m and he was already like and so i was holding him up, speaking of Muppets. I was basically holding him up like a Muppet.

My mom came downstairs. But he had to puke. And we were in my basement. And I remember I had to gather things from the basement. He puked in a blender. And he filled up the blender. And then he puked in a thermos. And the thermos was leaking.

So we had to put a cup under the thermos and continually fill it back up. No. It was disgusting. Yeah. I got one puke story before we go to the break in college i was out on a drunk on a balcony because i drank too much rum right and remember eric lazinski yeah he and some people were carrying me inside and they had hold my body but er Eric had my head, and his fingers were over my mouth. And I puked, and it sprayed. His finger made it shoot five different directions. Oh, man. Nice.

I like it. Mitch's manner. Yeah, Jeff likes it. Oof. I'm nervous. All right, well, let's take the break. That's enough puke talk. And when we come back, no more puke talk.

How about that? I might have to join Golo.com. No. Stop referring to the TV. They can't see it. The spokesman for Golo looks like Mitch. All right. Folks, we'll be right back after this.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. And we're back! With lineups in hand, we're in, we're in. And we're back. All rightups in hand. We're in. We're in.

And we're back. All right, last Doritos. No, I don't know why you're eating Doritos. They're making us thirsty. So all of our lineups are lined up. Jeff, your Jaeger shots are looking a little low. Yeah. Wait, the Jaeger goes into, oh, here, the Red Bull.

Right now, you know what? Or half the cannon. You know what I'm thinking right now? What? Don't bring down the ring-do. Yeah, you don't want to ring-dong the ring-do. You don't want to ring-dong the ring-do right now. So we're looking at 16 ounces of Guinness, an ounce and a half shot of Jaeger.

Then an ounce. 16 ounces is a wrong. Stop. Then an ounce and a half shot of Jaeger dropped into half a Red Bull in a glass and then a 12 ounce. There you go, Jay, a 12 ounce Bud Light to crush it all. Oh, fuck

a lot of liquid. I'm not going to get this Bud Light down. I'm not going to be able to. The Bud Light is we're going to lose people on the Bud Light. Well, look at your Guinness pint. That's the size of our stomachs. That alone will fill up our whole stomach. I'm going to start peeing, but I'm still doing this. I'm built for this,

Catman. You're so lucky. This is what I've been training for. It probably is going to take me over a minute. I think I'll do okay with the Guinness. You can't let the nerves get you. I think the Jaeger is nothing. I think it's once you get to the

Bud Light, all of the accumulation of everything is hard. Jaeger is a pukey trigger for me. Like Carl Feiler will buy Jaeger shots at high-low at the end of the night. But that's after I've had several drinks. This I'm fresh, so I feel like I have nothing to fear. I'm going to tell you right now, I bought lineups with Carl. I think Carl threw up. I'm going to say this.

Carl's a big guy, too, so he's like in the drink. 708 feet. Do you know when you're nervous and you feel like you got to poop? Yeah. That's what I'm having right now. I'm scared. See, I'm not scared because we did like the Long Island iced tea and stuff. How's that compare? We didn't chug the Long Island iced tea. It's doing

it fast is what's funny. I'm going to go first, by the way, because I want to rip off the band-aid. Great. Great. Great. Picks. Oh, we need to take a pick. Oh, yeah. Is there a way to get in here with them? Taking a pick of each of us as we do it or all together or what? Just to get them out of the way so that we don't have to be...

Hold something up. Hey. Hey. All right, here we go. Mitchell, show us the way. His hat's on backwards. I'm going to time it. You should film him.

He's going to do it fast. Oh, it's going to take me over a minute. There's no way. In my younger days, I used to do under 30 seconds. 30 seconds. Let us know when we're at the 30-second mark, because I bet we won't even have time. Oh, oh that's good that's good like the world record on in the limit you're saying we won't even have started the bud light by the 30 second mark great i'm also wondering

i'm like i'm like can i even chug a guinness in 30 seconds anymore i don't even know if i can all right i'm standing up i got the barf bag if you need of the barf bag just hold your hand up over your head okay and. And launch barf. Oh, fuck. I'm nervous, dudes. Let me know when you're ready, and I'll give you a countdown. He's got the Guinness in hand, folks. Here he goes.

He's shaking like a leaf. All right. What the fuck? Here it is. The lineup. Here we go. Okay. He's chugging.

He's going down. He's doing good. Look at that fly down. He did a lot of little- He's at five seconds. He's done with. He's doing good. Look at that fly down. He did a lot of little... He's at five seconds. He's done with the Guinness. The Guinness is done. Okay, the Jaeger shot is down the hatch.

11 seconds. Okay, now he's dropping the Jaeger. He's slowing down a little bit. Take your time there, bro. It didn't really mix. Guinness frog. No, no, it's mixing on the way down the gullet. It's dripping off of his mustache like a walrus.

The Jaeger shot floated. Now he's onto the Bud Light. And it's going down. And he's chugging. All right, he's hit 30 seconds. He's sucking that thing, man. That's good. He's coming up for air.

He looks good. He looks brave. He looks great. He looks better than he ever has. Unstoppable chugging. He's chugging that thing, man. 40 seconds. He stops for some moments.

He's swirling it around. And he's in the home stretch. Down to the last dribble. Call it when you're done, Mitch. Yeah stops for some moments. He's swirling it around. And he's in the home stretch. Down to the last dribble. Call it when you're done, Mitch. Yeah, it's done. Hey, 50 seconds. Holy shit. Wow.

Hey, Jeff, go back to me. Wow. How do you feel, Mitch? I was done slightly before 50. Okay, okay. Let's call it 49. Call it 49. 49. Call it the 49ers.

It was like, yeah, around there. Damn. The thing that bugs me is that I feel good. You don't have to get your microphone, too. I feel good. Hey, Jimmy. I feel okay. Okay, James Brown. I feel all right., Jimmy. I feel okay. Okay, James Brown.

I feel all right. Who's that talking? I got to tell you, I thought I was on fire after I finished Guinness because it was, you know. It went down fast. Guinness went down quickly. And then the Jaeger bomb and the Jaeger shot, like, if I could just, like, one, If I could just one sip the Bud Light,

I probably could still get under 30. I can't. Yeah, but no one can do that. I used to be able to. I got 27 seconds. But I don't even understand how you used to. The beer wouldn't even come out of the can that fast. Just begging to be edited.

Wow. I was very impressed. I feel all right. 49 seconds. Damn, that's edited. Wow. I was very impressed. I feel all right. 49 seconds. Damn, that's wild. Okay. Jeff, you going next? Why me?

Why don't you just look like you're set? Yeah, why don't we just go around the circle? Timmy. Okay. He's looking good. He's confident. I'll time you. Mitch, that was impressive.

Yeah. Good job, Mitch. Tim, I'll time you. Mitch, that was impressive. Yeah. Good job, Mitch. Tam, I'll tell you, your words of affirmations, is that what it is? Mm-hmm. They did help. Yeah. I'm good enough. I'm strong enough.

I'm Stuart Smalley. I'm going to have to pee before I go. You're all getting nervous. This is what happens. I'm getting nervous. It's nerve-wracking. I'm just nervous to be on spotlight. Yeah, you tell me. You say when you're ready. Wait, we're timing everybody?

Why not? I'll say this, Tim, that the order I did it, I think, is the order to go. See, I thought that was the way. It is the way, but I'm saying like you could swap up like your Jaeger bomb and your Jaeger shot if you wanted. No, do the way it's been presented.

Ready? Let's go, Timmy. Here we go. And here goes the Guinness. Here it goes. Down the tube. He's doing it. He's chugging this. That's fast.

The Guinness, it's easier to chug than you think. Six seconds on that Guinness. Wow. Good for him. Very nice. Here goes the shot. Here goes the shot. No problem.

He did the shot easy. 13 seconds. 13 seconds. He doesn't like the shot though that much. His hands are shaking a little bit. His hands are shaking a little bit. He's spilling. He's got shot. 13 seconds. He doesn't like the shot though that much. His hands are shaking a little bit. His hands are shaking a little bit. He's got the Jäger bomb. The Jäger bomb is going down.

And he's making sure not to spill. He's two-handing it. He's got a safety hand. Okay, that's done. 26 seconds. Now he's sitting down preparing himself for the Bud Light. He's standing back up. 30 seconds. How are you feeling, Tim? You're doing great. Don't talk to him. He's feeling better. Here we go.

Oh, okay. There we go. He's pouring it into the Oh, okay. Oh, no, it formed up. It formed up. That's all right. Interesting idea, though. Interesting idea. Ooh, and it's done.

Now you got a bunch of foam to deal with. What's the timer at, though? That was really good. 58 seconds. That's really good. Now I have a bunch of foam to deal with. What's the timer at though? That was really good. We're at 58 seconds. That's really good. It's pretty good. Now I have a fucking thing full of foam. Well, you got to finish the foam. This fucking sucks.

How do you feel? You looked great. You look shaken. But you are shaking. We're still timed. Do you feel like you're going to barf. I feel like I have one. I feel like I have it. I feel like I have one giant burp that I need to let

yes, it will happen and with that will come all the liquid and then also I think you should stand up just let you know you should stand up for a second. They don't be proud and up. Well, here's my issue. If I if I chug a full thing of foam, just fuck. You're a goner.

You're a goner. Why don't you do the nose grease? You have about, what would you say that? A third of a beer in there, probably. Yeah. You don't have to do that. No. Well, I do want to do it.

I just want it to settle. Yeah. Yeah. God, I thought I was so smart when I poured my can of Bud Light into my fucking. Tim, I got to tell you, I think you chugged the Guinness faster than I did. That was fast. That was a quick Guinness. That was very fast. I'm a chugger. I'm a chugger. I got to say, the Guinness did taste good

on the way down. It was a fun chug. Isn't it easier to chug? Guinness is easier to chug than you think it is. It's silky smooth. Also, it's fun because Tim and I are on the other side of it. It is almost like taking drugs. Yeah, do you feel drunk, Mitch? Oh, you're going to love it. It hits you in a way where you're like boom i'm i'm keeping

i'm keeping the timer going just because uh to see what maybe one of us goes longer than i'll just use the use the nose whatever you want whatever he's taking down he's looking great he's taking down the rest of the bud light he's got it he. He's got it. He's done. He's officially done. Yeah, he's done. 236.44. You were 49.44. Wait, wait. Did that count? That counts. That counts. That counts. That counts. God, I'm so sad about that foam. The foam was... That's okay. When we do our second one,

when you do your second one... But you know what, Tim? I'm going to tell you this. This happens to everybody. The Bud Light is what gets you. You get nervous. You want to chug it quicker. It the it seems easy it's not easy but you think the bud light oh that's such chugging beer but it's at the end because the the guinness is almost flat almost uh uncarbonated guinness is is great to chug i'll tell me this tim let me know when it feels like you've been hit by a train because it should happen at some point yeah mitch are you feel drunk yet yeah it's coming okay oh yeah yeah it happens pretty quickly it's i mean which is a kind of fun oh now i'm nervous i feel no drunkness

but i still feel like i'm gonna burp is building inside oh here's the thing i'm impressed you did a great job that was great great. I've seen people. Let me tell you this. I've seen people bail on this. I've seen people spew like this is it's not an easy thing to do. Sure. And especially with the bud light added. It's just for the record.

I finished my phone. I did get it all down. Tim ate the foam. He poured it on a plate. He's like a salt. Poop it out later. But, Dutton, I think you're going to do okay. I'm not too worried about it,

but I would have had a much better time in my college days. I feel like I am, you know, looking at 40, and this is going to hurt. This is 40. Do they do the lineup in that movie? Yeah. It's the postcard scene. I can tell.

They also eat a cupcake. That's the This is 40 lineup. Mitch, I can tell it hit you because you are shouting. And the other was like, Dutton, you're going to do it. All right. You're going to do great. Here we go.

Wait. Let me time you. Dutton, you're going to do great. All I've had was a salad today. Oh, shit. I had a big spaghetti lunch. Where'd you go? Just at home.

Oh, mama mia. It was a factor. You stole your wife's factor? Oh, boy. You let me know, Jeff. That's calming the nerves. You got to join the boys. I'm going to look at the three of you after this and just run out the door.

I will not be them. Ready? You got this, dude. Three, two, one. Here you go. Dutz is chugging his Guinness. Okay. He's doing pretty good.

A little slower than Timbal. A little slower than me. But still, he's chugging it down. It is. He is. Almost. He's using his hand. Ten seconds.

He's got it. His Guinness is very good. His Guinness is gone. Now he's onto the shot. There goes one shot down. Shot was done in a second. That's now that he's dropping. He's dropping the bomb in. There he goes.

The bomb is in. He's chugging the Jaeger bomb. You know, it's tough with these. He's got the shakes a little bit like Tim. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Everyone nice. Everyone be nice. I don't get the bag. I had the laughs. All right. All right. He uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's got the barf. Get the bag, Tim. He's barfing. Everyone nice. Everyone be nice. I know.

Get the bag. I had the laughs. All right. All right. He had the laughs. Here we go. I know. I think that's going to be my problem.

He is shaking a little bit. How's he doing on time, Hammer? 42 seconds. How you doing? Take your time. Get it down. He's almost done. You're doing great.

Nice, nice breath there. That's good. You're doing great. I'd say about a half a can of bud light left yep 57 seconds pretty good he's that's can is almost gone there he's done it yay 105 with the 105. And it's feeling like a tenuous situation in the old stomach. Here we go.

Here's the bag. My advice is to stand up. Stand up. Do what Ludacris has been telling you to do for years, Jeff. Mitch. Stand up. I just one second ago got hit with the alcohol. Yeah. And now Tim is grabbing his keys and walking out the door.

I'm going for a drive. He's yelling at the neighbor to race him, race him. Oh, hey, kids. You're all the trick-or-treating kids in the way on the street. By the way, I'm manlier than you. Oh, baby. Okay. That's great.

Thank you. That's what Tim wants. I know. Tim, you're still holding that burping. You know what? I've been burping a lot of baby burps, but I haven't done that big one you want. The weird thing is I

haven't burped at all. Ooh, I might burp. Hold on. We've sort of been going long here. It might be just we wrap up the episode. Hand man! Wait, what was the logic there? We've been going so long. Yeah, yeah.

That's enough. Mitch, I'll tell you this. I feel fantastic. When it hits you, it's fun. That's good. It is. A part of me is like, should I do a second one? This is like the alcohol version of edibles,

where you do it all at once, and then you're like, well, I guess the next couple hours are anyone's guess. Yes. It's nice to where everything's done now. You've had enough drinks for like two or two and a half hours. I do feel a little shaky. Yeah. I felt it. You know

what's funny? It was just like it was you're like riding a wave of enthusiasm when you finish the Guinness and then around the Jaeger shots like there's something like about like shot shot that that is kind of intense. Oof. Hey, man, you're going to do great.

I got to do it. I just ate a big sub right before we did this. My logic was I was going to get a big bready thing to soak it in. Yeah, that's good. But now it was very wet. It was an Italian sub with a lot of spices, and I'm going to feel great. I can feel it just shifting around. Here's what's going to happen, Mike,

is on the front end, it's going to be hard for you doing the lineup because you're going into a full stomach, but then in the long run, you're going to be happier than us because you won't be as drunk as us. That is true. None of you have ever tried it

when we did it at a public house occasionally. No. I've never seen this happen. I think I'm going to be laughing. I. I've never seen this happen. I think I'm going to be laughing. I think I'm going to go... You guys made me laugh. Can you give me that paper towel just so if I start laughing...

Hey, what can we say, right? Hey, we're a couple of comedy guys. A couple of funny guys like you. We should have a podcast. All right, ready? Here we go. Stop watches. Ready.

You're putting... In case I go... Oh, Jesus. I think I'm going to laugh. I think I'm going to laugh. He's putting paper towels in his back pocket Ready. You put you putting in case I go. Oh, Jesus. I think I'm going to laugh. He's putting he's he's putting paper towels in his back pocket in case he barfs. No, not as far. I don't think I'm going to barf.

Spew. Okay, ready? Okay. You got this hand, man. You got this. Here we go. Let's get that Guinness in hand. Yeah.

And then when you're ready, I'm going to press start. One, two, three, go. Boosh. Okay. He's chugging. He is doing a good job. He's doing a great job. This is going down.

Everyone's done the Guinness really well. I'd say that. Everyone did a great job. The Guinness is nice. It's smooth. It's delicious. It's also deceptive. It gives you false confidence.

Okay. He's done with the Guinness. Here comes the Jager. He's 15 seconds in. Here comes the Jager. He had a little burp, and then there's a Jager shot. Like it's nothing. Okay.

Let's say this. No handshakes. Oh, there we go. The Yeager and Yeager bomb are almost slowing him down. Just a little bit. He's wincing. He took a break with the shot and then another goal. Chug of that thing.

And he's taking his time with the Yeager bomb is a little bit more problems than we thought it would be. And it's gone right now. The Guinness is hitting the Jersey Mike sub. And he's on to the Bud Light. The hand is steady. There's no shaking going on. He looks brave. Look. Oh, no. Now he's

having a meltdown. No, no. Don't make him work. He's got it. He's got it. He's got a burp. Hey, man, that's great. And that is six seconds. That's good. And he's in a burp. Hey, man, that's great. And that is six seconds. That's good. And he's in the home stretch. He's done. Minute five.

You and Dotson, you tied exactly. Holy shit. Exactly. Wow. Wow. God damn. Man, that Jager bomb. We're all on the other side of it now, boys. The taste of that Jager bomb was disgusting was the taste ought not go to waste.

A Jager bomb is like, there's logic to the, uh, Guinness bomb formerly known as the Irish car bomb. Yes. Um, there's, there's logic.

Thank you. There's logic to some of the bombs. The Jager bomb is just stupid. Why would you drop like, right? I don't see the connection. Black licorice liqueur dropped into... I can tell you this.

I think it tastes pretty good. Do you think that there's an alchemy that happens? I prefer to Jaeger. Of course. Yeah. Also, Red Bull is a good taste. It's an acquired taste. But it's just a party thing.

It's an upper and then like a crazy little shooter shot. Or just passed out onto his microphone. I gotta say, I don't feel as like, I thought I'd be like my eyes watering now because I just hit it into the, into this. No, I thought I would be more like, oh my god, I'm drinking so much and I'm like watering eyes.

It will hit, it kind of hits you. I'm astonished that we did that all in about a minute. Yes. Even Tim, like that was a technicality. We crushed these lines. Can I tell you something? I don't know if it was, if you listeners got the mental picture. What I did with my Bud Light was I got it about halfway down,

and then I was worried it was bubbling up, so I had this smart idea. I was going to pour it into my Guinness glass yep and then i poured it too ferociously and sort of straight down i poured it straight down i didn't tilt backfired but but i i did the straight pour on purpose because i was kind of thinking that that would get the uh the gas out of there but i didn't think about the phone but here's what i'm saying that folly that fucked me over yeah is making me want to do another yeah lineup i uh i got it i'm gonna i got unless you'll be you're drunk now so it'll like uh it'll like loosen you up you'll i will do a second i will do a second lineup but i'll warn a warning to all ye listeners from m Mitch Manor. From Mitch Manor.

Our second lineup is, look. Yes, I will not be joining you. Our second lineup is, Tim. King shit? Second lineup is king shit. Is it God tier? My thought when I was doing it was like, because I kind of messed up and I was like,

I think I could do it under 30 30. I think I could get closer to my time. That would be rather based. I but I think that I could do. I think I could do better. I I'm going to say this. I am drunk now. It feels like it prove it. It

isn't a weird drunk where it feels like a if it like you're saying it feels like incense peppermints. It feels like it's a psychedelic. It's like a psychedelic drunk. I don't feel really drunk yet, but I will say. Oh, you will. What life lineups like Tim, would you really do a second one?

I would because I'm just mad at myself for the performance. If you both do, we should do it as a race. Tim! He didn't say it. Side by side. He yells at Tim. I love it because if I beat the king,

then I'll have bragging rights for a year. Until one year from today on October 31st. king that I'll have bragging rights for a year. Yeah. Till one year from today on October 31st 2023. The bragging rights are returned. And then we will race again. This is nice to do it on a holiday. Yeah. Alright, let's do

round two, Dutz. I'm going to just, can I just sip a Bud Light and just have a good time? Well, traditionally, you would. I might join him in the race just because I like the race. Are you for real? Why not? Why not? I'll join in the fucking race.

How could you? How could you do that to me? Mike, how could you do that to Jeff? You know what sucks about these? No, I'll tell you. Well, I'll tell you what sucks is that just two lineups is enough to make you feel like shit tomorrow. That's all it takes. We actually have a big day tomorrow, too.

I have a phone call at 2.45. We're going to a movie. A movie in the evening. What sucks, though, is we're going to be at 8 p.m. We're going to an evening movie. What really sucks is these shot glasses are plastic, so when you drop them into the that's what i didn't like the taste i was getting weird taste oh man um i think you know what i

think we do one where we all do it at the same time yeah that's fun audio be damned the microphones and we're not sucking or fucking yeah other. No matter what you hear, we are not sucking or fucking each other off. I apologize. My little foam topper fell off, so now it's a better. If we're all going to do it at once, then the listener will know who won by you say your name when you're done.

Wow. Okay. Oh, man. I don't like this. For example, I would say Tim. You guys aren't scared about it? I'm very scared I think it's a bad idea

I feel I think it's a fun competition a little competition yeah I feel like you see it as a competition I see it as a fun competition we don't often compete against each other that's true what about the quizzes I have a quiz for the end of this episode

you don't normally say that sort of thing right right right against each other. That's true. What about the quizzes? Those sorts of things. I have a quiz for the end of this episode. You don't normally say that sort of thing. Right, right, right. It's that. It's just sticking in my craw. You're all coming for the crown. I was just trying to show you the drink. Yeah, well. We're coming for the crown.

That's your problem. You're all coming for the crown. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, should we take a second break and line this all up? Yeah, this is what we usually do anyway. We'll take our... All right, folks.

We're going to prep ourselves for round two. We'll see you in a... I always say jiffy, but it's... I don't like it. Giff. It's giffy. We've been talked into an ill-advised second round. Oh, fuck.

By our host, Mike Spoon. What is it? You don't go by Spoon Man anymore. No, I'm Spoon Man now, but also... I thought it was Mr. Slice. Well, he sort of goes back. It's all changed. It's back to Spoon Man. It was like Snoop Lion, and now he's back.

I didn't talk you into this. This is dangerous. We're in the danger zone. But you know why we're doing this? To remind everyone, it's because I'm coming for the crown. He's coming for my crown. We're all coming for the crown. Yeah, I know, but specifically,

I'm going for the crown. But when you come for the king, you best not miss. Here's an interesting thing that happened during break, folks. I had bought an eight pack of Guinness pints from Albertsons. With a suspicious tape seal on it. Somebody had tampered with the packaging and it had been taped up. Are we still recording?

We recording? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Mike with the audio tech guy. No, I just got worried. Oh, anyway, folks. I get drunk.

I get worried. We had eight cans of Guinness or so I thought. No, we had seven pints of Guinness and one Guinness nitro cold brew coffee. Yeah. And I'm going to drink that on this round. So it's 4% alcohol, but it's also cold brew coffee at night after a bunch

of red wine. Which one's your glass? It looks like it's still the same consistency, right? It shouldn't slow you down. So is there any alcohol in it at all? It's 4%. Okay. I think it's pretty much the same. It just tastes more like coffee and it has caffeine. Sure. I'm going to shit my britches. I think it's pretty much the same. It just tastes more like coffee, and it has caffeine. Sure.

I'm going to shit my britches. I'm nervous. I think that we have to toast, and then the audio is going to be bad. We're going to spill all over the place. You and I should take our mics up like this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I just got a burp out, which is good. Fuck, we're fucked.

You guys act like this is fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. Where's my Bud Light? Yeah, we're missing a Bud Light. I brought four up. And you opened them, didn't you? Yes.

Oh, wait, I put it over there. I actually can't do this around. Yeah, he has to go get his Bud Light, so we should do whatever. I think Tim's going to take the crown. I'm coming for it. He's coming for it. I don't think I'm going to be as fast this time. You know what?

I've got to say I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling all right. Fuck. Oh, yeah. I was saying during the break that in the boxing world, I feel like I could take the champ. Yeah. Whatever my weight class is. Well, why don't I have to line up drinking world?

This will be, you know, we'll see what happens here. But I think boxing, I could take the champ. In the sport of boxing. Mm-hmm. Okay. I haven't been this nervous in 10 years. Who's going to start the time? I'll start it and then hold on.

Yeah, we'll just be a little ahead. Like one second. Yeah, great. And then how do we start it? Just a cheers, and we go. Ready? No cheers. You see that he hits the thing.

But then he's at a disadvantage. All right, so hit me. No, he knows when he's going to press. All right. He's at an advantage. Okay, great, great, great. Here we go. Ready?

And. All right. Yep. Yep. Okay, these guys are already on their bud lights, and Jeff and I are finishing our Guinnesses. We're finishing our Guinnesses at a leisurely pace. Wow. This is... I'm going for the crown. He's going for the crown.

He really is. Shit. Okay, you guys are at 30 seconds. I gotta keep going. Me too. Done. Mitch is done. 37 seconds.

I'm still on my Guinness. Hold on. Done. 42 is done. 37 seconds. I'm still on my Guinness. Hold on. Done? 42 for two. Jeff and I are against each other. Holy shit. 37 seconds, Mitch. I'm on my Guinness Bible. I'm on my Bud Light.

I couldn't let Tim take the crown. Mitch, do you realize that Mike is on his Bud Light, Jeff is on his Jager Bomb. Mitch, knowing that I was coming for the crown motivated you, and you're only seven seconds slower than when you were at your prime. About 10 seconds slower. I got under 30 seconds. Oh, under 30.

27 seconds, I remember. Maybe it was like, I think, one of them. Was this 30 seconds. Oh, under 30. 27 seconds. I remember maybe it was like, I think one of them. But Tim, I got to tell you, you really, you knocked my socks off. I didn't know it was that good. I know it was that good of a chugger. I love to chug. Hanford's in the home. I just got the thing I was talking about earlier.

My fucking throat and chest kill right now. Now, Mike, you're about halfway done with your bud light yeah jeff just finished his jaeger bomb and he's coming for the bud light who will have third place everybody wants to know tamir chugger i'll tell you this i love chugging that guinness it feels good the guinness is great the guinness i told you the guinness is not the issue is always the bud light the bud light sucks sucks. At that point, it's just getting down the weight. You just have like another fucking thing

and Bud Light is also like fruity. It's kind of sweet. Ice headache. Tim, I'll say this. There's drips everywhere for me. You got the mustache. I got the beard. The beard way sloppier.

I've chugged with the best of them. I'm going to say this. I've chugged with Gabrus. I've chugged with Dano. I've chugged with Gabrus. I've never chugged with Dano. Dano is a good one. What happened here is that you didn't have the experience.

There's people. I mean, there's also people who can drink a full pint of beer. Amber, are you done? Amber's done. At 3.06. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'm just going to nurse this bug out.

Okay. That's fair, Dots. Yeah. That was, you know, lots of people don't realize that before Tim Night Train Chifton changed the rules, you used to just actually sip the Bud Light. Well, Tim, you know what? I got something to tell you. There is now, this is the honor you get.

Huh? There's now the Calpacus lineup. What's that? What's that? That is the Nitro Cold Brew coffee Guinness is the starter. That's the Calpacos lineup. How was that compared to the Guinness? Honestly, it was just a Guinness that had like mocha flavor.

It was really no different. And I'll say this. I'll tell you what. Chugging? What are you, two seconds behind me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was too close.

No, you were 37 seconds. I was just pr'd it or no was that personal record no no no no no what was your person what was your record i remember 27 it was probably like 22 seconds is my personal record that's like i was 25 years old that's like the flash that i was 25 years old that's like quick hold on first is 25 years old. Hold on. First is 30 seconds, then 27, then 22. First you're 24 and I am 22. This whole story is like Paul Budgen myth.

No, no, no. It's official. He's disqualified. I think what happened was Mike Mitchell went to a party. He had a Guinness in hour one. Maybe a shot, then a bomb. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I made up the lineup party. He had a Guinness an hour one, maybe a shot, then a bomb, and then a... Can I be honest with you? Yeah.

I made up the lineup for this episode. It never happened. There's no such thing? It's been years of you telling the story. You think a Tim the Night Train Cletzel exists? You just look, we look around the room and we're like, Tim? Hey, look, it's a commercial for Seth Reese's

movie. The Menu. The Menu. I had dinner with him just the other night I saw his name just there Oh god I hope you're one of the restaurant from The Menu Go ahead You're the guest I just want to say What time did you come in at? 42

For crown If I want some crown comfort There's no crown comfort There's no crown comfort. There's no crown comfort. No, not around here. That's too close. Not in which way? You know what?

I want to do round three. Get the fuck out of here. I don't think we have the stuff for it. We don't have the stuff. We could do... Oh, I would love to, but... We could do Bud Lights instead of Guinnesses. You think you could do a round three?

No, I would fucking not. I can't fit any more of it. You guys were done, and I was still on of Guinnesses. You think you could do a round three? No, I would fucking die. I can't fit any more of it. You guys were done, and I was still on my Guinness. I started chugging the Guinness. I was like, ooh, this just isn't going to get in my body. Don't you feel like... Where do you put it all? There's something...

Where do you put it all? There's something about chugging a Guinness that is fun. As opposed to just sipping a Guinness that like is fun. Like as opposed to just sipping a Guinness, like sometimes I'll, I'll chug like a, a Canada dry or something. And it's, it's like fun to chug and you're like,

Oh, a Canada dry. Cause you like the burn. Yeah. I like the burn with Guinness. It's different than Canada. I like the burn in the voting booth. Stop.

Not political. Jeff, not on the pod. This is a conservative pod. Family values. I think that these... A shout out to the Guinness people. They do a great job with these draft cans

that have the weird little mechanism in it. Oh, thank you. It's delicious. And you pour it out in the glass. You drink it. That's fun. Everything else in the lineup is hard labor. But I do think that chugging,

I would rather chug a Guinness than sip a Guinness. It's fun. It is a blast. And I'm going to say this. It's kind of fun to do the lineup. I mean, look. It's very fun. It's a fun thing to do.

We're having a good time. Here's what you do. You get a group of friends together and do it. And you're in your home and you're all staying over. You're not driving around. Yeah, you go to somebody's manager. Yeah, say Mitch. We're all taking Ubers home tonight.

You two are driving home. Fuck that. I'm driving. I'm walking. Record time, baby. Faster than ever, baby. Faster than the lineup? Mm-hmm.

Jeff was home in 27 seconds. He beat Mitch's lineup. It is. I think that you have to be careful doing the lineup, whether you're at home or if you're at the bar, you have to be very careful because I think it is like a thing where you're going to fall over. No, no.

But here's the thing. You don't have to be careful. Okay. You don't have to be careful. All right. Never mind. The thing with doing the lineup of the bars. Yes, you could fall over or you could be the hero. You could, you could fall is yes you could fall over or you could be the hero you could you could fall over picture up you could fall over or you could rise above

i can't believe you were five seconds away i did i was nervous and i was like i can't let tim beat me um and and i was like trying to do better that's what's interesting that you guys really went you guys were like that was like sports it was I was like these two guys actually want it and we're going for it I will say this I got a little bit of foam in mine I might just qualify Mitch didn't come

close to finishing I like that you were checking my can that you were going to try to discover no I'll say I do think that like... Both Bud Lights are astonishingly empty, which is disgusting. Those are the hardest.

Mitch, you opened the top of your can up on this one. I did. And it was helpful. It was helpful. This was the thing I learned. My high school friend, Andrew Sullivan, said when you drink a can of beer, you push the tab down and rip the top

so that it opens it all up like a draft beer. So much burping is going on. Well, I think this is news for the Sloppy Boys listeners. Tim's a chugger. We had no idea Tim was a chugger. Tim was a chugger. Did we know this before?

Did you guys know? Well, normally on a cocktail podcast, being a chugger wouldn't come up. Sure. Because we don't do the beers. It's a... You don't do the beers. We'll do beers. Hey!

Yes! Thank you. October Fest. I'll say this. October Fest in December. I got a question for you. Were you always a chugger? Because I remember in college, when I was younger in high school, I got a question for you. Were you always a chucker? Because I remember in college,

when I was younger in high school, I bought a funnel and I funneled beers. And then this guy... In high school? In high school. Oh, I didn't funnel until college. I never funneled. This guy...

You got to do a funnel episode. I never did a funnel. So this guy, Scotty, when I was in college... Scotty Boulati? Scotty doesn't know scotty doesn't know um wait i bet i think if he was an ithaca scotty sounds familiar who's scotty he was a wrestler guy who was bald he was crazy oh i dude i know him because i live next to gator did you know oh yes yeah and scotty scotty would hang out with gator all the time. Scotty used to give me in headlocks in the dining hall.

And Gator used to bite my little nuts. Sophomore year, I hung out with Scotty a ton. Scotty was insane. And he heard that I could drink. And he was like a guy who would just get fucked up all the time. He heard that I could drink? He heard that I could drink. He heard that I could drink. I heard you drink.

It's so funny because Mitch, I didn't meet you till LA. But it's funny that we interacted with a ton of the same. We interacted with the same weirdo. Scotty, who's like a nice man, crazy. Also, my freshman year roommate was on the wrestling team so that's how I knew it. Scotty was a wrestler and like he would he would he would basically like get drunk and then

like would be annoying like not fun to deal with no shit and i i remember i was in the shower in the in the uh east tower uh 10th floor shower nice loop a guy and uh tower 10th floor shower. Nice. You're a loofah guy. East tower, 10th floor shower. East tower, 10th floor shower. You're talking freshman year? Freshman year. And Scotty walked into the shower while I was showering. Just walked in. And I was like, what the hell is going on?

And he was like, you got to do the brain drain challenge. And I was like, what's this? And he's like, you got to do the brain drain challenge. He's like, go towel up and come down. What's this? And I was like, this is like not. This is like a reason I didn't like college is because this is already. What's the meaning of this?

This to me is like dorky, and I can't. Like, this is already too much or whatever. Muscle heads were coming into the shower. Tell me what to do. I feel like the sloppy boys went to a small high schools. You went to a big high school. I remember in college, you said like that Ithaca felt just like another high school experience.

It felt like another high school experience. And like, I, I liked, I mean, like honestly in hindsight, like I think Scotty maybe rules he's insane, but he was like,

come downstairs. So I went downstairs to like the seventh floor, whatever the other men's floor was where I would be an RA next year, but keep going. Okay come downstairs. I went downstairs to the seventh floor, whatever the other men's floor was. Where I would be an RA next year, but keep going. Okay, yes, yes. I'll keep going. And Scott is like, I got the brain drain challenge, which was six beers. Yeah.

As fast as you can. You funneled six beers. And so I did it, and I kept it down. And he was like- Like volume-less? I got all six of them down, and he was like, only one other guy's gotten them down. No one's gotten it down. And I was so proud.

Who's the other guy? And then I was standing there, and I was like, it's coming back up, and I went into the bathroom, and I barfed cold beer. I remember the bathroom and I barfed cold beer. I remember like the first time I barfed cold beer. I funneled milk to do the milk challenge. And when I barfed, it was cold milk coming up.

Oh, that is. I remember like if you're, you're drunk or something and you throw up, like you throw up a bunch and you're like, Ooh, I got just drinking a whole bunch of water. And like, you're drinking up, like I've thrown drinking a whole bunch of water and you're drinking up...

I throw up the cold water. It's a weird feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just outside my body. It's in and it's out again. I did a... In Ithaca, I did like a drink as many beers as you can in one hour challenge and I drank nine and then one minute later, I ran to the bathroom and I went in the bathtub

and I barfed all over my khakis but it was all white. All the khakis. It was all the foam barfed all over my khakis all white. It was all the foam. You never wear khakis. I would love to see you wear some khakis these days. Mike, I didn't wear jeans until like LA. What were you wearing?

I'm with you. I was a khakis guy. Here's the thing. I went to a Catholic high school that didn't have a uniform uniform but we had a dress code so i didn't love buying clothes that were just like weekend clothes because i thought it was a waste of money so i would so i would just i had khakis and like button downs and i didn't really have jeans and t-shirts because i had four years of khakis and button down so that's So that's why

you like Springsteen. You're like, this guy is living some crazy lifestyle. To me, that's such forbidden fruit. Alright, let me keep the pod going. This is order again for everyone I think. Well, hold on. I'm hosting this thing. Did you spell your name with a K-H? Yeah. Wait. Go ahead,

Mitch. What do you got to say? No. I have something to say first. Oh, God. Hurry up. We got stuff. We all have something to say, but go ahead, Tim. I just want to say it's interesting the competitive element that I was angry about round one, so I did

better, and then Mitch felt threatened by me, so he did best. That's what elevates you. And then the dominoes falling hand for hand, I joined in. Hold on a second. Think about, we were all in a sketch group called the Birthday Boys, right? Sure. And then we had a monthly show with A Kiss From Daddy, Nick Weiger,

Neil Campbell. Paul Rust. Paul Rust. Paul Rust, Harris Whittles. We're talking about the greats you elevated you elevated

you knew that they were bringing good stuff you had to write good sketches they're coming with a material that's what happened here tonight that's what happens at the Olympics That's what happens at the Olympics. Yeah. That's what happens in business.

That's why Bezos is doing so well. Here's my thing to Catman. I have to echo what he just said about Bezos saying. All right. It's an hour and 43 minutes. This is not Doughboy's world. This is not Doughboy's world. Also, a lot of that is we paused to- Don't help him. This is not Doughboy's world. This is not Doughboy's world. This is also,

a lot of that is we paused to- Don't help him. We still have other stuff to do. Can I talk about this? Oh, there's a quiz. Yeah, there's a quiz on the way. I want to see if I can talk about this. You can talk about it. You get 20 seconds.

You can. You can talk about it. I want to say that when I would write a sketch, I knew Nick Weiger was writing a good sketch, so I was motivated. We heard that.

We get it. We couldn't be- We're telling so many stories. He had the best sketches. Catman had the best sketches. Let's admit it it. We couldn't be. We're telling stories. You had the best sketches. Catman had the best sketches. Let's all admit it. All right, fine, but we're telling stories

that nobody knows what the fuck we're talking about. We're talking about Ithaca College friends. We're talking about Scotty. Scotty, everyone knows about it. Sure, but no. The listener has no idea

what we're talking about. Here's what I'm going to say. Tim, have you guys talked about this in the history of Sloppy Boys? Huh? What? Is that Tim, you used to get drunk. You're a man who got drunk. Oh, we've talked about it.

I still am. We've talked about this. He was a pass-out guy. Your demeanor has changed. You were a pass-out guy at one point. So this is unfair of me to think of this, but in my mind, I never thought you were a chugger. I thought that you could drink. I thought you could drink.

He never gave you that distinction. You don't see Mitch drunk very often. That's true. And this is exciting. I didn't think that you were a chugger guy. And you were a guy who would like, in college, you get drunk, you shake a tree, you'd be out of your mind. But I was like, oh, you drank a lot. He got drunk.

I'm going to say it. To come close to me in the lineup. Come for the crown. It makes me sweat a little bit. It gets me nervous. You got him running for the hills. Are you going to get even one wing? You brought up Tim's chugging to talk about yourself. Yeah. You just

brought up Tim to elevate yourself. Yeah. Mitch, all I want to say is I'm calling for you. You better not sleep. You better watch your back. Here's my question for you. In a year's time, Tim will own those cats.

I will never put them on the line. I'll give them a safe home. Here's my question to you. They're a coward. I haven't seen them. Because you would get your overall screen. I know. Sorry, folks. You are blackout. This is what the lineup

does. You are blackout guy at one point. Yeah. Yeah. So do you think you've become a better drinker like this? I'm being sincere. Yeah, I never expected this out of him. I like when I was like hookah Chuck, I knew that Hanford. I thought maybe you would be able to be close he's pointing to jeff at the when he says that but the cat man is the guy who came close do you think you've become a better drinker have

you always been able to drink that much and you just always went at it and then you would get too drunk because your your drunk personality has changed yeah is that fair to say well i think this is good podcasting. Let's hear more about my old drunk. Your old drunk personality is the Tasmanian devil. It was a light switch. It was a flip on, flip off. Because in this moment, I'm 39. I'm married.

I'm settled. It reminds me of the Dr. You're doing two lineups. It reminds me of the Dr. Dre line. Just a doing two lineups it reminds me of the Dr. Dre line just a mere two lineups y'all gonna keep fucking around with me and turn me back to the old me yes

so let's hear because the listeners don't know Tim in his 20s paint a picture Tim in his 20s I almost didn't like when you got to a point yes you would get to a point and I was like there goes Tim.

I got to get the hell out of here. I want to hear more about it because I feel like you are kind of the opposite where you, I always knew you like Bud Lights and I knew you could handle your alcohol, but I've known you for 17 years. I've only seen you like sloppy twice. Yes yes and you didn't do anything to embarrass yourself it was more sloppy that it's like your speech was sloppy or like like you looked sloppy and it was just a couple beers but and also sometimes pre-drinking if i look sloppy no it was probably like not it was a lot it was probably you're not drunk until you have like 20 Bud Lights. It takes a lot for me.

I'm a big man. It takes a lot for me to get drunk. But then I have a couple of images of you slurring your words, but I've never seen you take your clothes off. I've never seen you puke. No. Mitch used to swirly me at every party. At a certain point, I'd see Mitch finish.

I was counting his beers like i gotta get out of here i'll give credit to the birthday boys in general is that i don't think any of them duds you would just pass out you get sleepy what are you talking about i'm saying when you got drunk you get you'd pass out you get sleep sure okay fine and hampered you would get like you know loopy but you'd be i get i get a little louder but i i don't think I'm the type of person who would get myself. You're right. I fall asleep before I get kooky. You are the one man who has changed.

You're pointing at me. Back in the day, Tim would... I remember we went to... I think we saw... I'll bleep it. At a comedy show. And then you drank too much before and after. And then at one point you were like sitting outside of the club

passed out like against the brick wall. Yeah. Is it at UCB? No, no, no. This is at like the improv or something like that. Like a stand-up-y show. But I didn't talk to... No, no, no, no, no.

She went on to become my employer. I know, I know. That's so hilarious. She only remembered that night. But then we have pictures. It's like before the T-Bird, the beloved T-Bird, you had the precursor to the T-Bird, the Chrysalula Baron.

It wasn't cherry red. It was wine, Bergen. It had wood panel dash. He had just seen Anchorman. But I remember at least one night we would go out on the town and then walk back to our place. That reminds me of a song we've done before.

Maybe we'll end the episode with that. I will make my point. But this may be a four-hour episode. So we would come back. See what the lineup does. We made it all the way back to our address and we said,

where's Tim? He made it all the way back to for drive. A family lives there. I met him. And then we said, where's Tim? I couldn't find him.

And then we would we'd poke our head into the driveway and he made it all the way home and went ass over tea kettle into the open back seat of the Chrysler LeBaron and fell asleep. We have pictures of Tim

because he lived on the downstairs floor of the house we lived in. We have pictures of Tim, pants around his ankles, half his body is in his room, half his body is outside the room, but like taken down the stairs. So he made downstairs and he's down.

So close yet so far. There was a specific thing of rolling down the driveway naked. I feel like that happened a lot. What? Like, I feel like- I don't remember this either. What? I don't remember this. I feel like there was like our driveway-

I mean, you went to somebody else's house. Like a barrel roll down the driveway? Yeah, I feel like it was like a funny thing to roll down the driveway. Just dick in? No, probably not. We were never nudes as birthday boys. I don't think any of us really got nude. I was probably wearing BBDs and a beefy tee.

But I do have like, I remember waking up in that driveway in the morning a lot. Oh, would you please reel in this episode? Hold on. Hanford, before you, before you, before you guess he wants, he wants, he wants you to end it. I'm going to say this. No, no, not even end it. We just, just, just really haven't even gotten to the next.

Yeah, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I've always been a decent drinker. I know. I've always been a decent drinker.

I've never liked to get to the point where I lose control. I hate that. What if this is a long one? I hate getting to the point where I lose control. It never happens to me. That's okay on the dance floor, though. Thank you, Hanford. You've mentioned that I've been like, what's his name from the novel,

standing up on the balcony watching the party. Gatsby. Gatsby. I should remember that. But I'll never let myself get too crazy, but I'll be drunk, and I can handle my drunk very well. I know a lot of people who are bad drunks. Yeah.

I'm going to say this. I bet you do. It's not fun. I know people who are bad drunks, and a lot of them, it's a hard habit to break. And I'm not calling you a bad drunk, but I think that you were a wild man, a true course correction.

And, and, and it is crazy that you grew up, you grew up, you grew up. There's people that I know who have been bad drunks. And then at 40, they're still bad drunks.

And you're like, Oh, it shows up every so often. It doesn't happen with you anymore. Ooh, I want to hear these names. I want to hear names off pod. I'll tell you off pod. Maybe some Quincy folks.

It doesn't happen with you anymore. Charlie Changton. But also my question more now that I'm wondering, Changton's fine. The question more now that I'm wondering is Andrew Wu. Adam Wu. Wu's Wu can go all night. Wu's your surprise party?

Great to see you. Oh, he's a great guy. Hanford was at my surprise party. It was a great time. He was a chick magnet. He was a chick magnet. He was on fire. Tim, my question to you is,

I didn't know that you were, in my head, I didn't think you were a good drinker. I know you can drink. What's in your head? I know you can drink. What's in your head? I know you can drink, but my question is when I see you, hold on a second. No, I love it. When I see him chug, I feel like the Joker.

When I see you chug, I am thoroughly impressed with how you did the lineup. Do you think that you've become a better drinker? Tell us. We need to hear. You have a variety of things to say. He's a better drunk. He's a better drunk now. And he would agree with that. But here's your point. He's a better drunk and a better

drinker. And a better drinker. I want you to talk on it, Tim. But I also am like, you know you're a better drunk. I know you know that. I understand. Everything you've said rings true. Every word of it.

Thank you. And wait, wait. I'll answer your big question. Your response, Tim. So I guess now my two questions is you are a better drunk now. So back in the day when you get to that level were you drinking like as much as you did now you would just get into blackout zones and then do you think that you've now do you think you have a higher tolerance because that was impressive to do to do the

lineup in 35 seconds or whatever that's impressive it's not easy and that's coming from the king that's coming from the king i mean someone's gonna take my crown at some point uh thank you oh wait is that cider oh but but but here's here's the answer yeah and and this is good podcasting because it's gonna be really honest a questionable sound of fresh beers getting correct there's two things one which i've discussed in therapy yeah is like indulgence in anything like this is my thing like like number one is food and and you're you're you're probably looking at me being like this guy's not a thousand pounds but like what but like that's my like 999 take that again tim there was a there was a thicker tim we all knew a thicker tim as well i the current tim is the pretty thing but it's up and down no he's like it'll fluctuate current tim is fit it'll fluctuate 20 pounds month to month

yeah but i'll say this like i'll get buff in uh in in anything yeah it like it could be alcohol it could be anything i i like to like get lost in it right yeah and uh this is what i talked about with heather my therapist is is it could be work it could be it could be healthy it could be uh like a good thing you like it to take a deep dive i like you like to get obsessed a deep dive into the drinks that you love but but like it's almost like i'm finding myself on the other side of like fucking obliterating myself and it could be uh you want to lose yourself in the music thank you oh because i'll say this like from 18 or 19 till 23 you were obliterated you were you would be obliterated you like right like like and well and i've never seen the turn where someone

i'm like hey cal pack is over there having a great time and and and joining himself and and because i've known guys who are at that place and don't do well with it can't turn it around and they can't turn it around ever. So is it a thing of like you're saying like, oh, there was an indulgence side to that or something? Well, I'll say this. At 39, the indulgence is still there. It ain't going anywhere. Let me ask you this.

It could be anything, but I'll say this. I met my wife when I was 25. Before then, it was an angrier indulgence. And now it's a- More loving indulgence. Well, it's like a-

It's like a joy you're finding the joyful. It's a convivial bon vivant. I don't know what that is. It's a joie de vivre. Yeah, yeah. Convivial bon vivant joie de vivre. What do they have in common? Life.

And love. But I would say that maybe that makes sense from 15 to 25 it was an angry indulgence now Tim let me ask you this

that makes a lot of sense I like that you get in deep in stuff could you say to yourself I'm going to get into deep

into eating salads working out and like could you could you do that? Yeah. I think you could. Interesting.

Yeah. Hold on a second. You were telling us there's some version of Timmy Kimbob that's very strong? Yeah. Yeah. This is terrifying. It's his brother, Jeff Kalpakis. You met the man.

I can't even go into it. He can lift you over his head. I'll go into it off pod. over his head i i but i'll go into it off pod but it's like anything that you can think of like overdoing it is very fun for me yes of course in any but but like what about uh lending me cash you got a hundred grand got him my man yeah man and i think that this is in a good way because i think that this can be a good thing, by the way. I think that people who indulge can be fun. Yes.

And it is fun. Sure. And I've also indulged with you on the food side. And I've eaten with your parents across the strips of Montreal and had the best time of my life. Yeah. And so I get that side of it. But do you also think that you've become a better drinker? Because I do think you are.

Because I think you're good at it. It's weird to do both. It's weird to find moderation and yet come for the crown. Yes. Oh, interesting. No, I think it's more the crown than the boot. I love alcohol, but I think it's just, like, I get off on, like, the crown.

He wants to be the best. He doesn't sleep until he's the best. That's the thing. That's the maximalist in him. And whatever you said, if we were going to, like, I'm not a big drug guy, but if you said we were going to, like, snort the most cocaine, I would do as much as I could. Oh, my God. No, wait a minute. You recently said you wanted to run a marathon. Is that going to like snort the most cocaine, I would try, I would do as much as I could. No, wait a minute. You just, you recently said you wanted to run a marathon. Is that going to happen? Or was that a thing or I'm going to read the book you gave me and I'm going to, I, uh,

running is another one. Like if I, if I'm not drinking, like pushing, running to the max until my body hurts and is like, Oh my God, you're a two mile a day guy, aren't you? Yeah, but I also enjoy running too much and then laying in bed like, ouch. Damn, that is- That's interesting. I run six miles a day and I don't care and it's fine. Oh my God. What? I'd like to see you eat a whole pizza.

I don't run that much. I think of Tim as like a fun party dude who knows notice where like the good food is and what to order. And like you said, he comes from the crown. He knows all the restaurants. But then I see him out running and I say, damn, you got a lot of bandwidth. But I think you should do that. I'll tell you something about this. I think you should try to do a marathon.

You got the energy to do a lot of varied tasks. Tim, I'll tell you. Why don't we all do a marathon? Let me tell you something. The last month of my life, you guys know, like I'm working on a project right now that I'm excited about. Yes. I didn't jog. I didn't drink.

I didn't eat too much. Didn't drink. And I thought about that project all day, every day. Wow. And I would wake up at 4 a.m. And I overindulged in that thing. Interesting. And it was like a fucking sicko.

And I liked it. And I was like getting off on it. So you could... So you should just pick the best things and do that. I should pick like... I'm a rich buff millionaire. I should pick like Wall Street trading stocks.

Couldn't you? I'm almost jealous of that. That's great. And also... Yeah, I can't do that. I'm just going to say one thing. You dropped your crown, King. I'm going to give you the crown.

Oh, shit. You got the crown. Well, you know what? I'm wondering... We're'm going to give you the crown. Oh, shit. You got the crown. Well, you know what? I'm wondering. We're skipping. Jeff, you're terrible. No, no. I'm good.

You're terrible at this. I think we all are. Tim, I found this fascinating. This was fascinating. I don't know if the listeners will find this fascinating. I found it. The listeners will love it. Do we all get like a 20-minute spotlight on our weird shit?

Yeah. Four drunk guys. What do you weird shit? Yeah. Four drunk guys going on. Four drunk guys psychoanalyzing each other. No, no, no. That was a good deep dive. No, wait. Now you. Now I want to say what do you got

for us, Mike? I got, okay. So the crowns are all sort of crossed and shit. This is going to be a tough... We got a quiz. There's a new crown to compete for. The quiz crown. I got a quiz here.

Yeah. I love it. Okay. Yeah, man, I love it. What a great... It's great. And I was going to say, the thing you were talking about,

the project, we'll put it in quotes, that's a great thing to obsess over. I know. Well, that's good. Yeah, yeah, but is it weird when you're telling Heather about it? I mean i gotta be this heather is it no heather graham my therapist because i'd be like what was it like working with pta that sounds fun or mr myers not the one on the screen. Oh, God.

Yeah, I haven't been paying. Tim, I'm a man who's always been obsessed with food and booze. And then, like, I so don't partake in booze anymore. But, like, food is one. Booze. Okay, so when Mitch has two lineups and a little bit of a cider, he calls booze booze. But when I get obsessed with food, it will be a thing where on Sunday, I'm like, I'm going to get this.

I will also say you are also obsessed with your creative projects. Sure, yes. You will text me. I mean, I'm more scatterbrained than the guy to my right. But yes, Tim. But I will get obsessed with it yes sure yeah i also will lose interest i think that i'm i mean like this this guy has more of a i think you get your own way with your project sure i think you say yeah i

think you gotta say hey i'm good at this stuff i can do it yeah that's a big part of it i think i think also like uh when we would write stuff you know like uh i'm lazy that's also another thing no i think it's more of an i don't think you are i think you i think you got a lot of good ideas and then you say it could be this way or this way or i mitch i think it helps you to have another person that you can grab onto to like an ad i don't know if it's adhd or what but but like uh when you're like i have an idea and and then like i think it helps you to just have a buddy nearby yeah it does help i and that's why i like to sketch group uh and and even though like you know sometimes i'd be very lazy in the sketch group too but when we had a show that was the thing where i was like oh i gotta i gotta produce more i gotta

i gotta do stuff after having the show for, I mean, our monthly show for six years or whatever. And I think that like when I, and look, I was surrounded by funny people, Hanford and you and Kalpakis. And so like that, that's the sort of thing

you were talking about when you're chugging a lineup and you see a guy to your right coming for the crown, you gotta you gotta you gotta step out there and do your thing you know what i think brings out in you it's it's a metaphor for being the best version of yourself i agree this is the best i think best episode of the pod so far we're drilling deep but now mike you have a point you're trying to make i have a point i I'm going to make. I think, you know, the way that successful people are presented to us, it's a singular thing.

I think everybody, if you're a writer or an actor or whatever, everyone's got somebody they need to bounce stuff off of. Yes. I love this. I don't think anyone, let's say you're... A genius in a vacuum doesn't exist. I think you're right, Jeff. i think you're right i think you're right you want me to go deeper sure yeah i think that when you're with a group of funny guys you

and jeff and you got funny people let's say funny people i mean unfortunately yeah we were saying we were eating cupcakes out of the trash using the ip iPad on the toilet. No, this is 40. Let's save the world. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You want to be the funniest you can be. And also, you're afraid to slip up. Not me.

I would always say, I'll hang back. Get a very devil-may-care attitude. I'll let everyone else do that. Hammer, you're an individual talent that's very funny. That's your... And then Tim, you got to give Tim credit. The guy who would... You got to give him the credit.

We all have to suck Tim's dick for like 90 minutes. I do think... I think that Mike and Jeff are not giving enough for their boy enough. I mean, that's the issue. That's usually the thing in the podcast. We push Tim down. We don't give him enough credit.

You guys got to give up. The Sloppy Boys starring Mike and Jeff and their little friend. And their guest who shows up every week. But you are productive. You're a productive guy on a level of... Well, now we know why he's so obsessed with it. You're so obsessed with it.

I mean, the truth. That is the truth. But you're a productive guy on a level like other people can't keep up with that. I can't keep up with it. In a state of rest, he's still thinking about it. Can I tell you, and this can be the bow on the end of it,

what they tell you in therapy when you have this problem is is that you and and so maybe you all have this and maybe it's a good thing quote unquote problem keep going uh if you know that you are loved regardless of that regardless of achievement then then then then you can just live your fucking life. But then, Tim, do you achieve less? There you go. Oh, Mitch Manor. This is Mitch Manor. Is this what happens in Mitch Manor?

Everyone does, hey, I'll say this to the listener. You want to get your friends together and talk about your feelings, you do a couple items. Drink a few. Drink a table full. Drink a few. Drink a table full of Red Bulls and Jager and a bottle of Jager. Where the hell's Ferguson?

Okay. Let's get Ferguson on the board. Somebody call him up. I love Ferguson. I think everyone knows this is an order again. Just going with the system. It's an order again just going with the the system yeah it's order it's an order again and again and again yeah it really gets down to the bottom i think but now here's the thing i just quickly hampered before you do that please please i

watched psycho for the first time and halloween is coming on and they named characters in halloween after psycho characters no shit and also also, Jamie Lee Curtis is the star of Psycho's daughter. Oh, right, right, right. It's her mom, which I never realized. Wait, what's her mom's name again? It's something Lee, right? Yeah, something Lee, which I should remember. I'm fucked up. I don't know what you want from me. Bruce Lee? I think it's Bruce Lee.

I think it might be Bruce Lee. Okay. Hi-ya. Now, wait a minute. Hold on. Is everybody ready for the quiz of the day? Oh, shit. This is a little bit of an experiment. So, Mitch, sometimes in our episodes, we will do a quiz based on

the drink or a word from the drink, whatever. This is the Mitch quiz. The Mitch quiz? This isn't the lineup quiz. This is the Mitch quiz. Mitch quiz because we got a guest. And Mitch is participating in the quiz. This isn't the lineup quiz. This is the Mitch quiz. Because we got a guest. And Mitch is participating in the quiz.

The tables have turned. But here's the thing. One might think that Mitch might have a leg up in the Mitch quiz. Okay. Thank you. This is great. Now, Mitch, you are a guy who wears his history, honestly.

We all know about your stuff. I'm wearing a Quincy shirt. Right. So we've known you forever. And we know all your stories. This quiz is Mitch against you two. So there are going to be questions about Mitch.

So he should know them. But then there's two guys. And we've also done the lineups too. So everyone's slowed down. It's going to be tough. And for me and Jeff, do we confer or we just blurt out? Just blurt out. So it's you two are blurting out.

You blurt out too. So it's Doe and my little score sheet. D versus S. Doe versus Slop. Doe versus Slop. Can I call Weiger? No. No. No.

So here's the deal. God, those fucking lineups. Yeah, they get you. I'm reading off my phone here and this is going to be a little blurry. All right. You blur it out. And I think this is going to be good because

Can we have a live one with Heather if she's on the line she just she'll really help me out sure Graham he's just like I don't know who you three are you got the advantage because it's you you got the advantage

because it's two you verse two but we've all done the things okay here we go what song does Mission listen to on his birthday You got the advantage because it's two. You versus two, but we've all done the things. Okay. Here we go. What song does Mitch listen to on his birthday? Run on Empty. Fuck.

I said Mitch instead of the answer. See, that's what's going to be exciting about this. This is the you versus two aspect. Jackson Brown, Run on Empty. Every year. Sloppy Boys. Okay. This quiz master is a mess.

Let's pick it quicker. How many questions are there? There's a lot of questions. I'm staying at contest winner Neil Campbell's house, and we came up with some good ones. What did Mitch use to call chocolate milk? Bubba Juice Chopped Chip. Bubba Juice Chip Chopped with Milk. Bubba Juice.

That's us. I haven't gotten it out. Hold on. Bubba Juice Chopped. Bubba Juice Chip Chop with milk. Bubba Juice. That's us. Wait, wait. I haven't gotten it out. Hold on. Bubba Juice Chop Chip with milk. Abba has got it. So Mitch, when a kid called chocolate milk, Bubba Juice Chop Chip. So you called chocolate Bubba Juice Chop Chip. No, no.

Like if you were to say, give me a chocolate bar. This feels insulting to me because it just shows my brain is a little slower. Well, that's the thing. It's a speed thing. Yeah. It's an experiment too and also this is insane because we just you look at the the coffee table here it's like a looks like a like a animal house set question three yeah yeah while he may have sang what would you say? He also said. Dave Matthews. He also said, hey, thank you.

When this quiz master. Michael Hanford. Said he was a big fan. Mike Hanford. Outside what Los Angeles restaurant? Baxter's Deli. Baxter's. Geez.

This isn't fair because. Hold on a second. I wasn't there. Yeah, you were. No, I wasn't. Mitch, but it's regarding you. I don't even think these guys were there you told no he was i was there i remember that tim was there we went into factors

there's some here that you'll we went into factors you were there too mike right this quiz master was the guy who said hello saw dave matthews coming out yeah and what did we say we said something to him like if you got if you listen to the question, I said, hey, you're great. That's what's so great about this quiz. I said, hey, you're a big fan. In a way, I feel like you should deduct a point for how Jeff is acting.

No, why? This is crazy. You're being rude to the quiz master. Don't be rude. Jeff, you lose a point. No, no. You lost a point for the sloppy point. You lost a point.

And I accept it. You accept it? May I also say, in this quiz, the quiz master can be swayed. I'm going to say this. I love that story because I liked that he was nice to you guys. He was.

Unlike those people on whom, which he dumped a tour van full of shit. Chicago River. Everyone talks about it. That wasn't him. He wasn't like, I'm going to dump this. He wasn't like pumping

the lever. A big brown lever. A tour driver. I think that they had to fire, which also sucks. They shouldn't have fired him. Tim asked if I've ever met him. No, but John Hodgman for when we did a live show got a message from him

who was like, hey, the spoon man, this is Dave Matthews. And he did leave a message for me, which was great. Next question, please. Hold on a second. Lineup's coming up. Well, the quiz master is burping. Have you ever read Vacation

Land by John Hodgman? Yes, great book. Really good. I got to read that. Yeah. As a New Englander, you'd love it. Ooh. Have Hodgman to review some beers.

No. No. He's from Massachusetts, and he lives in Brooklyn, but he has a summer house in Maine, and it's kind of about the whole thing. From Brookline to Brooklyn. That's the story. You know a celebrity I saw recently?

Ethan Hawke. I was walking in Brooklyn. It was rainy day. I had my umbrella up. He didn't have an umbrella. And I'm walking down. And right as he passes me, I noticed him. I said, hey, Ethan Hawke.

All right. Really? Yeah. And he went, oh, hey, hey. I thought it was my surprise. Here we go. The black mask himself. Mike, hit me with the next question.

Oh, yes. Black phone. Black mask was Johnny Depp? I think so. Black mask? Black mask. Black phone. Black mask is, yes, he is.

Is it Johnny Depp? He's Whitey Bulger. Whitey Bulger. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead, Mike. These were Mitch's boyhood cats. Mitch, zip and buster. Zip John? Yeah. He's Whitey Bulger. Whitey Bulger. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead, Mike. These were Mitch's boyhood cats. Mitch. Zip and Buster.

Fuck. That's one for Doughboy. That was close, Dubs. I know. I know. You don't have to say Mitch, by the way, but you nailed it, but you don't have to say that just because that could- Zip and Buster.

I knew it. Also, by the way, Jesse Plemons played my friend's dad in Black Mass. Right. And you met Jesse Plemons at one point. Okay. Wait. For extra points, Neil and Cassidy had the cats. Oh, shit. Fang Boner. Right. And you met Jesse Clemens at one point. Okay, wait. For extra points, Neil and Cassidy had the cats.

Oh, shit. Fang Boner. Yeah, that's the one. Zib Zab? Zig Zag? Zig Zag. Yep. That's not part of this. No, it's extra points. Well, Neil Campbell may have helped me with this. He gets 100 extra points. Thank you. Well, Neil learns

not about his cats. Okay. Mitch's first self-pleasuring event. Shower. Happened in this room of his house. Bathroom. Mitch. Fuck, fuck.

Mitch knew the bathroom. No, I take issue. Also, we can edit that out if you want. I don't know if you've talked about that before. My dad taught me. I consider the shower to be a room within the bathroom. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, so Mitch was laying. Mitch turned the shower on.

He laid down on his back in the tub, decided to masturbate for the first time. Something he could have done in a bed. To the pretty news anchor, if I do remember. That's pretty good. He doesn't deserve that point. Okay, you've earned that point. You've earned that you've earned that

and as you had your first ejaculatory event the the curtain opened and your dad's foot stepped down i remember it's true because the story you said and then my dad's foot came down and we were like came down and that's when it was revealed that you were laying on your back in the tub that's what's great about a lot of Mitch's stories is he'll say things. You're like, wait, what came down? What came down? You have to ask. Yeah.

Well, I was laying on my back. Do I need to see a foot before I come? Not the truth. You might need to take a session with Heather. I'll put you in touch. She's going to love you. Oh, I can have this. I can have this guy figured out in a day. She's going to love you. Yeah. Oh, I can have this. I can have this guy figured out in a day.

She's going to love you. Heather should be consulting on this whole pod. Okay. You think that would affect me, but in reality, my dad was like, I can't come until I see you in the shower. Oh God.

This is too much. It was actually a flip. He needs to be stepping on one of his children. Oh, dad. Interesting. Oh, interesting. Rest in peace. All right, next question. All right.

One evening at the birthday boy's house, we were all down in Chris's room watching an edit. Ring dong to ring doh. Timmy. Wait, what's the rest of the question? The rest of the question is... He gets a point. What did an excited Mitch actually say

when he meant bring down the Doritos? He gets a point. When that came up earlier, I was like... Callback. You know what would be a great bonus question is what were we editing down there? But you said sketch, editing. We were just down in the basement somewhere.

Editing sounds right. It would be something like veteran cops. Ring down Dorindo. I feel like it could have been like Christopher Rock. i feel like it could have been like there's uh christopher rock the like i feel like you know what i think it was i i bet if i had to put all the money on it i would it's we're editing the star wars sketch that we did for chris hardwick uh but it'd been the the uh yeah power failure we called it. Right. Okay. Not a great. Oh, I like that one. That's fun.

Come on. Where did Mitch get pizzas for the birthday boys when he worked at the Simpsons? Big Mamas and Papas. No. No. Sweet Pie. No. Don't.

Hold on a second. No, I will not. Marbury Street. Marbury. Marbury. Marbury. We lived next to Marbury. Stefan Marbury. Yeah, stefan marbury this was when

mitch worked for the simpsons bitch those are good pies there would be a lot of extra food at the end of it look on the tv that looks like los feliz yeah i think it is this is halloween one one way that's on oh come all the way around amy lee curt, she's still doing them. Here we go. Where are we? Okay, this is close. It's four to three. How many questions are there? A few more. Well, there is one.

There's four more. Sloppy Boys versus Doughboys is four to three. Damn, neck and neck. Yeah. Lager, it's up to you. It's up to you, Lager, wherever you are. I hope he's rubbing his crystals and sending you good vibes right now all right what was the signature cocktail

at the premiere host sorry what was the signature cocktail at the mike mitchell movie premiere party hosted by alien hatton. That was a bad one. I honestly don't even remember that. We all went to Neil Campbell and Fran Gillespie's house and we watched The Tomorrow War. I remember that. You were there, yeah? The signature drink was a Midori

sour that we called, Neil called. The Alien Hatton. Because the aliens in the movie were trying to replace man and and that's what are you guys gonna do that on sloppy boys in an alien hat we should show you um that was a question that i was like okay mitch should get all of these and this will be one for the sloppy boys uh yeah i think that's the next one. Oh, yes.

Hey, can I just say as we're watching these Halloweens that when I was an RA in the East Tower, there was a student who was Jamie Lee Curtis's nephew. Wow. Really? And everybody asked him, is Jamie Lee Curtis a hermaphrodite? And he took it in stride. And we're like, what do you fucking say to something like that?

And he was like, I don't know. It's been a rumor forever. And all I can say is that she's a babe. She's a fucking babe. I saw something where she was being really forthright about her like pill addiction. She's like super, super open about, I was this like super good girl during Halloween and all this stuff.

And by the time I was doing True Lies, I was like a fucking pill head. Maybe it's not True Lies, but. Halloween H2O or Halloween. Yeah, probably H2O. Anyway, sorry. We love Jamie Lee Curtis. Mike, next question.

No problem. What podcaster called Mitch after he was upset with a prank call Mitch made? Mark Maron. Fuck, Doug. Mark Maron.

Nice. Do we have to edit that entire fucking thing? I think you can leave it. That's fine. Whatever you want. We can lose it. Tell the story, Mitch. Brief. All right, right fine i'll tell a brief version of the story

we were prank calling people who's we me harris you were you were there weren't you no armin armin you might know or bring other people i should i mean well one is fine it's gone um and harry and armin won't care and won't care. And then a couple more people. I won't say the person who gave me the person's number, but I called a certain actor slash comedy adjacent person. And I told them that Mark Maron wanted him to be on his podcast. WTF. Yes.

You pretended you were the booker. I pretended I was the booker. You were affiliated. Which, by the way, this person has a bad rep, and people said that he had, there was like creepy stuff about him. Sure. So I was like.

So this was. You're punching down. This was benevolent. I'm punching down. So this. This was righteous behavior. This was righteous behavior. It was. This was righteous behavior. It was.

This was righteous behavior. Look, was I being a stinker? Yes, of course. Then I said, hey, Mark, would love you to be on the podcast. And this person, maybe a guy, was like, oh, man, I was so mad that you called so late. You almost woke my girlfriend up. This is great. And I was like, yeah, this is great.

We'll pick up at Oak's Gourmet tomorrow at 10 a.m. And we'll drive you to Mark's. And we will. Which is like for a podcast. Like what? You pick me up and drive me. So this is pre-COVID. People would pick each other up and drive each other places.

It is slightly insane. At gourmet delis? So we were going to pick. I said, I'll pick you up at Oaks Gourmet. And then this person was like okay great and then you know he's like i said he was like i was so mad but this is great yeah and then i i had called this person before and with a at with a with a blocked number they didn't accept block numbers star seven six star seven star yeah star six six right i don't know the the oh star six six maybe is the busy uh signal

fix it might be whatever it was it was it was it was and it didn't work and so i just called i just called on my regular number and then i felt bad so i woke myself up with an alarm at 8 a.m and i texted him and i said i take hammered sneezing away. Like having a tough fucking time. I'm allergic to the lineup. I got, I got a sneeze. I texted this person and I said, Hey, Mark needs to reschedule. It's no big deal. Cut to four months later.

I'm back in Quincy, Massachusetts. My dad is dying of cancer. I'm in the basement of my house. I got a call. Hello. Hey, you're telling people you're, you're, you're booking them for my podcast. I was like, I was like, Oh, what do you mean? And I was like, this is Mark Marin. You're telling people you're booking people for my podcast. I was like, no. And my mom was in the room. How did you get this number? And I was like, no, that's not it. And then I left the room with my mom and i went and talked to him he was like didn't weren't you like hey i'm at home with

my family can i call you right back yes i i i did say that first i was like can i call you right back he's like sure i went into like i can't imagine when you heard his voice you must have fucking shit your pain i was terrified it was a number i didn't know. I was so scared. I called him back. And especially then, like, he was huge, and you were, like, new. Like, his star was rising from WTF. Also, like, one of the first podcasts. Like, when you started your podcast, I was like, oh, it's kind of late to start a podcast. And then we did it even several years after that. Marin was like, wave one.

Well, also, this is a guy, to give context to this, a guy, podcast and then we did it even several years after that marin was like wave one well also this this is a guy to give context this is a guy haverskiss knees again a guy a guy that all four of us would see at ucb like doing stand-up of course and i called him back and i was like hey it was just a joke and he's like oh it's just a joke you're just messing around like i think he was afraid that i was messing with his business i was like like, yeah, for sure. That he was the punching bag and not the discuss. And that's what it is. Like, I think that that's,

that makes sense. If somebody's, Mike, shh. Mike, please stop. Keep it down, please.

No, if he wanted us to get back to his quiz. If somebody is pranking you, that's one thing. Or somebody's fucking with you and it's like about your personality, that's one thing or somebody's fucking with you and it's like about your personality that's one thing but if it's about like the inner workings of your

job and yes it's like i understood him being mad but i was like oh no that's not it at all and he was like well that's kind of fucked up you shouldn't have fucked up fucked with that guy i was like okay i'm sorry then he called back like 10 minutes later i was like so what's the deal like it was just a prank and i was like it was just a prank i'm so sorry and like i and i was like i apologize i went back in the room with my mom and she was like what's going on i was like it's fine and i was like at least he doesn't know we're talking to marin were you well in my mind i was like he doesn't know who i am and then the next day he messaged me on facebook a big long message i was like what's the deal why did you do this i was like oh fuck you know so i am now and i texted harris whittles and i was like

what do i do here and he was like oh no he was like this is bad it's so funny because i i can imagine you'd be on his show sometime in the future and like that'll be a fun thing to talk about yes and i think that he and so basically the bottom line was is that he was at ucb theater and this person who i prank called um went up was one up to him which by the way is really funny but gets me in a lot of trouble but you would too if you got an email from what you thought was his booker. Yeah, and they were like, I'm excited to be on your show. I'm excited to be on your show.

Oh, that's so sad. And he was like, I'm sorry, who are you? And he was like, yeah, what are you talking about? He's like, yeah, your producer called me. He's like, what do you mean you're my producer? Your producer, Mike Mitchell. He called me at 11.30 p.m. He doesn't have the capacity to produce tall

John there. Sarah, it was Sarah Silverman. It was like a Sarah Silverman show was after that. Yeah. And she's like, who the fuck is this guy? Let's get him. Oh, and tall John put the number in his phone. He's like, oh, it's Mike Mitchell. And then tall John said that when he said my

name, he was like, oops, like, and then he told me he was like, I never meant to like rat you out. I was just like figuring it out. And he's also, I love that guy. He's great. I'm friends with him now. And he's like, that's exactly his thing. Yes.

It's like, you would turn to him and be like, Hey John, like what's an internetty, like some, a phone number or like, that's what he does. I love, I love that guy. And, and, and it was, but Sarah was mad at me and then he was mad at me. And then,

and then, and then Mark told me, he was like, I'll see in San Francisco. Cause we were all going to, we were going to sketch fest. Yes. I remember seeing him in San Francisco.

And he was up there. And then I, and he seemed mad and like, look, my dad was dying. sucked like not to give me not to be like woe is me but i was like i was in a basement with my dad dying and my mom and i was scared out of my mind we went to san francisco and we saw him and i was like oh no and he came after me he's like it's all right buddy and he did that's nice that's nice he was nice about it so i

so i so i so i give give credit to Marin on that. Was that your WTF moment? That's good. I feel like Marin's probably done his share of pranks since... Yeah. He thought I was kind of an asshole, and then Harris told... Because Sarah was mad at me, and then Harris told her about the person I prank called.

Yeah. And Sarah was like, oh, he's a hero. And she was nice about it, too. Well, that's nice that Marin wasn't like, I hate this guy forever. He realized it was a thing and whatever. And next question, Michael. Oh, yeah. Yes.

Yeah. That wasn't a short story. Okay. The quiz. Can you remind us of the score real quick? The score is... Now, Jeff, can you handle this round alone while I go piss?

I gotta piss really bad too, Timmy. Let's try and make it through the quiz. Seven to three. Lobby's against Mitch. Go ahead. Oh, this is good because

this is good. You couldn't have pissed her in that whole fucking Marin thing? You want to hear the story? Name three of Mitch's Boston friends. Sorry. Jankton, Dano, and Micah. Well, come on.

It shouldn't take me that long. No, because there's a lot of people that's true okay let's keep going come on we might even this up well no this one I want everyone to hear before okay let's do the next one

this is the last one well what's so nice about this last one I can't win well Mike tell us what's so nice about it so in the Mitch quiz a lot of people know So in the Mitch quiz, a lot of people know, but in the Mitch quiz... Let this be worth three points then. Well... Mitch, would you stop?

Yeah, Mitch. Would you stop doing the thing that we always do? Stop. So, yes, the last one, if there's a... If it's close, it's always a big fucking thing. The last one could be a million points. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That guy cheesed that fucking line up, huh? Ooh. You know, I just cracked a fresh BL. Yeah, let's get some more BLs down here. I think it's going to put me in the fucking grave. I think it'll be fine. I'm going to grab one. I'm just thinking about water.

There were other beers in there. Can I grab one? You can, but it depends on the beer. I'll shout it out from the inside. You got to show it to me. I'm going to tell you where we're at right now. We're at two hours and 32 minutes. It's going to be the longest by a mile. Well, half an hour of that is probably

getting the drinks all ready. Some of them are misshapen. Take one of those three. How about this acai? Oh yeah, take that. I'll pour this out. Acai is very good. I haven't had dinner.

We'll order pizza. Oh shit. Or we go to Bella Luna. Oh shit. Jesus Christ. We just watched the first Freddy movie and that was like John Marshall High oh yeah that's

also one of the best ever do you do it for the socks? these are cool like these second curbs this is what makes me sad is like look at how green the grass is it's like Hollywood never doesn't look like that anymore and this is like East Hollywood where like that

like you can get this in like east hollywood where like that like you can get this in like miracle mile area maybe where like it's like oh if it's like march or something yeah yeah yeah oh citrus f we knew this would turn into this i mean there was no doubt it was gonna happen all right here we are the last question of the quiz. Jeff is back from his pee break. This last question is crazy because it's... I'm just looking at the sheet here, and it's worth 10 points. 10 points.

And it's a tough one. I hope that me and Jeff get it. I hope Mitch doesn't get it. So right now it's 7-4. Great. Sloppy it's 7-4. Great. Sloppy Boy's first match. On a quiz that was Mitch quiz. Yes.

Yeah. It was meant for me to win. But I'm glad this happened. It ended up being like a speed quiz. That's what it was supposed to be. It took about 45 minutes so far, but let's go. No, no. The questions were speed questions.

Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. We stopped down for a while to talk about... Hey, I just noticed below the coffee table there's a bunch of signed checks by Mike Mitchell. Yeah. Dare I... That's none of your business down there. Yeah.

Which one of your residuals coming out these days? I get about... I don't know about you guys. I get about 100 grand a a month from IFC. I signed the wrong line. They put a little note in the memo. Thank you so much for your brilliant work. Tim, that sounds like a clerical error.

I'm getting zero dollars. I get checks for zero that says, you blew it, buddy. You really blew it, buddy. You let us down. Your characters weren't funny. Residual checks, for those who don't live in Hollywood or do Hollywood stuff, residual tax checks are based on your performance.

And it's up to the residual office to say what they like. And they watch everything. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Final question. Final question worth 10 points. What changed about Mitch's iceberg character in the whipped cream shuffle sketch? The foam head.

From stage to screen. Did I do that too? Ooh. Mitch won the thing. It was just ooh? What are you talking about? It was. It changed from.

The voice. Did I do that? it was an urkel reference and were we not allowed to reference her no i think mitch just made it funnier by being like i think i hit something i don't know the exact wording uh yes mitch did a different voice and change it up and that was very exciting to see uh the stage who do some stage sketches bless you i will say this with that sketch and i think you're actually correct in this huh i think that we all when i was like i come out of this iceberg i say did i do that which is like very like 26 or

27 year old sketch guy thing and you were like yeah like i think you were always kind of like yeah tim i'm saying i'm talking to tim here you're kind of like yeah and i but here's the thing is that i agree with you that i don't think it's good it didn't need a reference it didn't need a reference but i will say this it did bring the house down one sure the sketch was very good because you wrote that sketch but this is you put cream in my pants. I put cream on my pants. This is collaboration. This is how it works. I wrote the sketch. Collaboration nation. You said the big line, and I didn't have the big line.

This is why you collaborate. There was a time. There was a time in Birthday Boys. Well, it was the Birthday Boys. We would do. There were certain sketches that were, we would do a sketch, and Mitch would come out the end and do something. Yes.

And that was it. It was usually just quoting Urkel. No, no, no. There was also, that is my house, and that is my pod. Yeah. Like, there was... And the tab guy in the Coke sketch,

we walked in with tab guys, and, like, I could always feel... I wrote that sketch, but i could always feel i wrote that sketch but i can always feel all the eyeballs like when the the two tab guys walk out as the lesser tab guy i can feel everyone looking at here's the thing well it's also a totally a thing it wasn't a formula but like we we just did that instinctually i think it's instinctually because we would all be meeting diligently after our day jobs. And then Mike would show up with the mulberry pie pizzas a little bit later. He would only be on the last page of the sketch.

One time, the Simpsons writers ordered dinner from juniors. Now I'm the sneeze guy? This should be a trivia question. Tim's got it. One time, the Simpsons writers ordered dinner from Juniors Deli in Westwood. And then Mitch went to pick it up. And in the meantime,

the writers decided to go home for the night. Mitch came home with 30 dinners. That happened semi-autumn. Mitch was a production assistant. Jacqueline Atkins, the writer's assistant, and Mark Wilmore, rest in peace. Jackie A Atkins, the writer's assistant in Mark Wilmore. Jackie Ackie and Mark Wilmore are the only two who stayed.

And you know this, as I cried, as I came back and was like weeping tears because I was like, I stayed here an hour longer than I had to. You picked up 30 dinners. You went back to the writer's room. The writers had gone home without telling you. You cried and then you came up to the

birthday boys house with and we ate and it was so funny to open up and it was like we just feasted on like this one is spaghetti and meatballs this one is pastrami on rice I think I fainted that day it was like and I just remember like

I just an hour ago talked about my overindulgence fetish. Imagine having 30 dinners and a fork, and you're just fucking going nuts on all this shit. That is the name of your autobiography. Somebody else can write it. I'm not touching that. 30 dinners and a fork. Here's a gross question that we can end it all on.

No, we're not. Listen, we'll end our own pot. Thanks for the help. My question is, do you... No, it's too gross of a question. Ask it. We'll edit it out. Do you think that the...

All right, yeah, edit it out. Do you think the Coke... Do you think the Tab sketch was the biggest, the highest laps we got? It's close. The highest... There were... Yeah. I think it's up there. We would close. The higher. There were like, yeah.

I think it's up there. I think Tab was up there. We would do that live, and it would be like, well, that's. I think the Tab sketch was the biggest. It had to have been high at least once, or we wouldn't have done it so often. Because we did it quite a bit.

But. Of course, when we got naked, there was a ropes and underwear sketch we did. Ropes and underwear. And I had the privilege of replacing one of you for one of those shows. But do you think that do you think Coke? Do you think tab sketch is the highest? Well, I'm thinking like pretty, pretty dad when you like suck.

Oh, that's pretty. That's why we didn't do a lot. You know what I mean? We did. We did Coke sketch more. I do remember Pretty Dad a sketch about someone who goes to the prom with their dad and their dad's in drag

Ferguson written sketch but the blowjob pitched by Tim oh I didn't know that I remember I'm not in the sketch but I was backstage very altruistic of Tim Kalpakis. I was going to say to be to be clear.

Humble. I was going to say to be clear. You were like for almost every sketch we wrote. You were pitching some guy sucks his dad's dick at the end of it. And this finally fit. You should come to my family. Thanks. I'll say this.

I was watching that from backstage because I'm not in the sketch, right? So at the end, it's like Dave is a teenager. You are his dad who dressed in drag because he didn't have a prom date. And it's very sweet. You take him to the prom and it's so sweet. At the peak of the prom, he gives you a blow job. And you took it, you know,

Dave Ferguson gets down on his knees. No, you he he dave ferguson gets down on his knees no you got it backwards yeah mitch got down on his i got down on my knees oh yeah you got down on your knees you unzip dave's pants take out a dildo that was like our house dildo the eight inch dong classic eight inch dog sucked it and uh the the blow job's happening i was standing next to harris in that moment. And then, and I remember him waving his hands and just being like, that's it.

Like he thought, he thought it was fully the, the, the meaning being like, that's the funniest thing in the world. And he was like, we're not. And I do think this is like,

I don't know, 2011, like 2012, UCB, the upping the ante of like funnier and funnier and funnier shit. And I do remember Harris just being like, that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. And like throwing his hands up anywhere. Like there's nothing funnier than Mitch giving Dave a blowjob.

And the slow blackout, like it's a sentimental moment. And we had like a song that you were like. Bob Seger. No, no. It was like pretty. Oh, pretty dad. Oh, wait. There was a pretty in pink.

There was a pretty in pink. Pretty, pretty. Be dad. Yeah. We'll play that at the end of the pod too. At first it was Bob Seger. We got tonight. Right.

And a transition doesn't end. That's pretty great. But I mean people fucking lost their fucking minds in that little room. Shrieking and laughing. I remember

Harris was the first one to get hired and staffed and have jobs and everything. So I especially remember him being like, there's nothing funnier than that shit. And then it was like, you force the room to watch a blowjob and you

suck that dick very earnestly. My parents were either at that show or another time we did that. And they were like, this is what it's all about. I was like, you're talking about the sketch that was or another time we did that. And they were like, this is what's up. Of course. I just get a couple of nerds like, you're talking about the sketch. It was funny. Yeah, we are.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you. Harris liked it. What do you want? Amber's parents saw it. What do you want? Harris, Bo, Janet, everybody liked it.

The whole crew. They all loved it. The big three. The big three. The big Hollywood three. The big Hollywood three. The big Hollywood three. Two people who have never left Rochester and one guy. They used to call themselves the Hollywood three.

They go out to these long lunches and dinners and discuss what's going to happen with Hollywood. What's next? They determine everything. They figured it out. They came up with the idea of doing all those Marvel movies. Have you talked about Bring Out Kenan? No. Oh, come on.

That's a good one. Yeah, that's good. Average dad used to say he'd watch an SNL sketch and if it wasn't going the way he wanted, he'd go, Bring Out Kenan. Like this sketch, it needs that certain extra thing. It needs a guy who's going to bring it in. He was ahead of the curve on the the keenan appreciation

yeah that was a long time keenan hit like season 15 before he got the eminem and all the respect i we watched like a few birthday boys episodes when he was saying bring out keenan quite a bit um i was like that's me it's like yeah you fucking suck that was the problem with birthday parties. We never brought out Keenan. We never brought out Keenan. Never did we. Hammer, is there a last question? What goes on here?

You won. You won the thing. Yeah, you won the thing. Because you got 10 points. Good night, everyone. Congratulations on that. The last thing is we look back on the drink and we say, would you order it again?

Oh, yeah. We already did that. Mitch, you won. Did we do that? Yeah. What the hell? Yes, we did that. We didn't do it. Now, let's order it again? Oh, we already did that. Mitch, you won. Did we do that? Yeah, we what the hell's going on? Yes, we did that. We didn't do it. Now let's do it again. We're a little off our kilter. No, we're right on our kilter.

Michael? You gotta retain a I hate repeating myself. Yes, we will order again. Mitch, do you order again? On a special occasion with friends, yes. I'm not going to order this on my own. Oh, I'll do this if I'm out at a bar by myself.

Nobody's coming out. I'll bring a book, and I'll sit at the bar and do one of these. That's a no from me. I'm not. What? No from me, dog. By himself. If I'm with friends, I'll do it.

Check. I will not. This is very much an appointment. Oh. dog what no for me i by himself if i'm with friends i'll do it check yeah i will i will this is an appointment this is very much an appointment oh is everybody doing this i'll do it yeah everyone's doing i'll do it it's a challenge drink like you guys said it's an appointment drink i in that respect i think it's you wake up by yourself in the morning wake up you you you start your day by yourself in your solitude, thinking about your life. Let's say it's your birthday. Instead of listening to coming on empty. Yeah, yeah.

Coming on empty. Like an old Model T. Instead of waking up on your birthday and listening to running on empty by yourself, have a nice, calm morning lineup. I like it. You got to admit that the chugging of the Guinness is better than you think it is. Delicious.

The Bud Light is the hard part. Dutz, how do you feel? It's an order again for me. And I think it's actually maybe even a stone cold classic oh that may be I have to say it's an order again it's delicious

it's a stone cold classic I think it's a stone cold classic as well it's an S T it's an S I'm going to bring this back to New York and start doing this with people. You should.

It's going to be the toast of Brooklyn. Oh, God. We're going to see so many articles in the New Yorker and the New York Times. Hipsters are drinking the lineup in Brooklyn. Hipsters in Brooklyn are doing this now. And who? Paul Simon's favorite drink. Great.

The drink that killed Paul Simon. That's our show. follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time also check us out on patreon where you can unlock the sloppy boys

blowout our weekly bonus episode where we talk about the shit we really care about 12 minutes till 3 hours that's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys.

Check it out, folks. Two hours and 48 minute runtime so far. Thank you, folks. And if you are experiencing an overindulgent lifestyle, reach out to Heather for therapy. Hey, thanks for having me, boys. Bye. Thanks for having us in Mitchell Manor.

Mitchell Manor. Mitchell Manor. And I'll tell you something. I will say this. I was sneezing a lot before. The lineup cured my cat out. Yeah, it did me too. In fact, I think I could maybe do one more lineup. I'm going to do one more.

Before we shut it down. Folks. Christ. Can I just say something? We don't have the stuff for a third lap, do we? We can figure something out. Oh, that's too bad. I would do one last shot of Jaeger. stuff for a third lap, do we? We can figure something out. I would do one last shot of Jaeger.

Yeah, sure. We'll do a Jaeger shot. Folks, be careful with this one. This is one of those guys you don't want to do and drive around. You want to have your friends over, do it at home, and everyone's sleeping over. They'll get it. They listen to the episode. Goodbye.

Be safe. No, no, no. We love you. We're going to do one more shot before we say goodbye, right? I thought that was off. No, no. Yeager. Yeager.

Yeager. Yeager. And Reese's Cups. We got four of them. Ooh, let's mash the Reese's Cup in the Yeager. I'm going to chase with Bud Light. I'm calling this one a Yarmir Yager shot. Yeah.

I don't like Jager. I hope Mark Maron doesn't call me tomorrow. I hope he doesn't call me again, man. Hey, Mitch, can I sleep here in Mitch Manor? Mitch, you're doing an impression of the person you called? Quiet, fool. Hey, you're doing an impression of the person you called? Quiet, fool. Hey, we got to do... You called the bad guy from Silence of the Lambs?

Hey, you got to do a Jaeger shot and chase it with a cup. Reese's cups. Chase it with a cup. That's Mark Maron going to Buffalo Bill's house. Did you know of Mike Mitchell? Is that a great big fat person? She's a great big fat person. All right, here we go.

Oh, Hanford already took a big old bite of that cup. Bombs away. Cheers, my boys. Bombs away. Cheers. Cheers. Oh, I do not like. Bleh.

Ugh. I gotta taste it with the cup. I did Jaeger, Bud Light, and now here comes the cup. Chase with the cup. Cup is great. The cup knocks that flavor out big time. You got to Chase it with the cup. Always Chase the Jaeger shot with the Reese's cup.

All right, let's see what happens to Mike Myers in this movie, the Halloween movie. Halloween 1. I got another thing to say. Oh, God. Jeff, the episode's over. The sun's coming up. Mike.

Call him out. Call him on his bullshit. Yeah, call him on his bullshit. Call him out. Michael Patrick Hanford. Bring it on. Call him on his bullshit. Yeah, call him on his bullshit. Call him out. Michael Patrick Hanford. Bring it on. Bring it on. I love this. Confront me. This is not a confrontation.

This is... Oh, nice. Confront him. I'm holding you up. Mike, you got to move back to LA. No. No, no. He does, but that's besides the point.

But I bought a season pass the first year. Michael, I know you came out for the horror fest run by the corrector himself. But that's not all. That's not all you came out for. I admire that you come out to LA

as a true bi-coastal man at the drop of a hat for almost no reason sometimes. I got those points. The points? I got the flight points. True blue? I'm a jet blue guy.

Shit. Because he's living in Brooklyn. Living the Brooklyn life. He's a hipster. I put the hat on backwards. I wear the khaki pants that I scoot down. The khaki pants are made by Carhartt,

by the way. Hey, look at me go. If there's a whiff of a Sloppy Boy show at the lodge room, or a little tour opportunity, or a pod opportunity, he books that flight.

Damn. Damn. I got a feeling we got a sloppy show coming in January. Yeah, we do. Can we announce it yet? We don't know when it is. Happy birthday to you, my friend. Oh, yeah. No, wait. Oh, yeah. That's

where I was going this whole time. Oh. Was a big HBD to the hand man. MPH? Happy birthday, Mike. Happy birthday, hand man. MPH. Happy birthday, Mike. Happy birthday, hand man. Thank you. Thank you. I wish I was dead.

There's ways to make that happen, my man. And we can help you. I'm glad the three of you don't know any. We're your boys. And if that's your wish, we will make it so. Folks, we're going to figure that out after the pod one more line up my man that might just do it

does this movie have the principal from Back to the Future is that the cop oh my god Dean Sterling is Loomis from Back to the Future Loomis is a different guy who is he? He looks familiar. I think he

might have taught us improv 101. No, that was Will Burson. Oh. Oscar-dominated Will Burson. It's sad that we don't have the stuff for a third lineup because I would do one just in case. It's so sad. Is there maybe a version

of it that we could maybe... No, you end it now. You're out of your mind. Jeff, you've gone... We'll do a weirdo lineup on our own time. You did a shot of Jaeger. That's as close as you're going to get. You're flying too close to the sun.

You got to call it. Let's do a final shot of Jaeger to close it. Just to make sure... Wait a minute. Do you have anything else besides Jaeger here? No. What do you have? No. Yeah, I got it. I got every Jaeger. I got tequila. I got tequila.

Let's do it on your roof. You can't bring the mics up to the roof. We'll say goodnight and then we'll... No, we'll record on a phone and we'll be like the Entourage guys. We'll say goodnight and then we'll... No, we'll record on a phone and we'll be like the Entourage guys. Oh, yeah. The Entourage guys didn't do that. I'm Turtle.

I'm Johnny Drama. Ooh, I'm Squirtle. I'm... E. No, you know who I am. You're Vince Mitch's E. I'm Turtle's girlfriend's dad. Ah!

Turtle friend. Turtle friend. Turtle friend. Tim, you and I saw... What's our assistant's name? Lloyd. Lloyd. Lloyd. We saw Lloyd at the Simpsons movie premiere.

That's true. He was getting deep fried Snickers right in front of you. And I had a deep fried Twinkie. I'll tell you what. I met Jeremy Piven at a bar fried Twinkie. I'll tell you what. I met Jeremy Piven. Yeah. Yeah. At a bar in Hollywood.

Yeah. What did you say? I said, hey. When we were new to LA, I thought you, like, if you saw a celebrity, you had to go talk to them. I talked to Jason. That was my feeling when I saw Ethan Hawke. I talked to Jason Schwartzman. I was like, hey, man.

I saw you on The Tonight Show. I actually really like The Flaming Lips, tooman and I was like, hey man, I saw you on The Tonight Show. I actually really like The Flaming Lips too. And he was like, okay man. I talked to Jason Siegel at Cat and Fiddle. Oh shit. Remember we were at Cat and the Fiddle once and we saw Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols.

We were sitting there at our little table and then we heard some yelling. We look over and Johnny Rotten yelling at some guy being like, don't take a picture of me. You want a picture? Get the fuck out of here. This is, have you guys, do you guys know this night that me and Mike went on a double date?

Did you know about this? No. What was this? This is Johnny Rotten night. But we saw Johnny Rotten, but then we went to a Korean karaoke bar. And then there was me, Mike, two ladies, and their friend who was like a pornographer.

He worked for Hustler, is what he said. Anyway, the ladies ditched us and the night ended with me, Mike, and this guy Russell all singing Meatloaf all together. Yeah. We were all singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light

at the top of our lungs. Hey, where'd the dates go? Well, good night. Who the hell was double dating you two? Russell's friends. Was the Ringu girl and the Grudge lady? I want to say it was the Victoria's Secret angels. Yeah.

I remember them. I don't think they were on the cover, but I think they were in the swimsuit issue that year. Are we going to take a shot of tequila on my roof? If so, we're going to say goodbye. Yeah.

Well, good night, folks. Goodbye. Just trust us. We'll be on the roof. And then do the Patreon. Oh, and subscribe to the Doughboys. Yeah, subscribe to the Doughboys as well.

And for our podcast, Rank and Report. Yeah, Rank and Report. I was going to tell you that. No, I think it's Rate. No. Rate and Subscribe. Rate and Review. But for us, it's Rank and Report.

Most importantly, go to Pluto TV and watch the birthday boys. Yeah, baby. Season three coming at you 2024. I also got to tell you damn passing the X. Going to make it happen. I got to tell you that you were a minute and 30 seconds away from getting to three hours.

That's good for monetization. There is a lot to edit out of this. No, I don't see what word could be lost. That's true. This might be one of those epic poems. If somebody typed this all out. Like the Iliad?

This might be one of those things where like, holy shit. Homer went ham on the fucking Odyssey, man. Dude, the dude. Hey, where were you when Homer went ham? You know what? You think more than an epic poem, you don't think it Where were you when Homer won ham? You know what? You think more than an epic poem, you don't think it could be? An epic rap battle. Yes!

Right? Last time Homer won ham, Spider Pig was on the ceiling. Thank you. Folks, come on. Let's meet back here. The most genius thing I've ever said. And I got a lot of them. And you know what?

Let's toast to it on the roof. Yeah, let's toast to it on the roof. To Homer Pig and Spider Marge. To the roof. To Homer Pig and Spider Marge. Yeah. We got 15 seconds. Does this top out in three hours?

We're going to edit it down. Yeah, it gets deleted in three hours. Good. That might be okay. I think like an hour of that is us lining up the drinks. Could you imagine if this whole thing got deleted? No. That'd be so sad.

Because we don't have our precious backups. We've hit three hours. Good night, my boys. Good night. We'll see you next week. I want those hours back pretty pretty dad isn't he

pretty pretty dad isn't he all of his life he cared for his son then one day his date didn't show and so this good father he put on a dress And went with his son to the dance at the school

But Craig Dolan was there and took him away They went to the car and got kind of frisky Then Craig tried to finger back dad Apologized, cried to his son Who forgave his Pretty, pretty dad Isn't he? Pretty, pretty dad Isn't he?

Folks, we forgot. We did the shot already. We're on the roof here at... We're at Sousa and Lemon. Sousa and Lemon. Ooh. Here at the castle... Mitch Manor.

Mitch Manor. Looking out over the very... The landscape where Jamie Lee Curtis once haunted. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. So please enjoy the song Out on the Town and

the clip of Where Are Your Brains Boy and then Out on the Town. How'd you end the weirdest of all, Hanford? I'm just surprised. Scott, kill it. Go surprised. Scott.

Kill it. Go offline. Scott. Scott. What? Go offline. Go offline. Go offline. Who was on the phone?

Nobody's on the phone. He was on his channel. And he's having his... Scott. God damn. Turn off this computer. Cut yourself off, Scott. You're not...

You're being stupid now. Now you're going and putting yourself up there with someone to laugh at. God damn. Where are your brains, boy? Having a meltdown online? Where are your goddamn brains?

You were online? Yes, he was on his frickin' channel whining and crying and acting like a three-year-old to the entire world. Where are your goddamn brains? Like I said, you don't understand. No, you don't

understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all eternity. Well, this thing here happens every week. It's Friday afternoon and things are looking bleak. Tim, Jeff, and me sitting bored at work at a company that makes silent fireworks All we want to do is let our freak flags fly

But we're so damn bored that we're going cross-eyed Then Jeff thinks of something and we feel alright In just a few hours it's Friday night We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town. I got myself a limo for me to drive Tim and Jeff up front, sitting by my side Swerving all around the road cause they were tickling me Tim sneezed on the windshield, we could barely see

Then we cruised to Burger King and got our favorite thing Ten cups of ketchup and an onion ring We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town So we stepped inside the club And we did our favorite dance

Everyone said that we had nice pants Corduroy jeans cut off at the cap They asked us where we got them And we just laughed Come on, you gotta tell us Did you get them at the ball? You're gonna ask that, man You got some gall

Did you find a bottle of light At the hippest site? I got shoes there once And the shoes were too tight Did you get them in pairs Or in fashion wings? Spend a grand on a flight? Don't be a freak. So we quieted down the whole damn place. We're gonna tell you where we got them. They get out of my face. We didn't buy them at the mall or pull them off the shelf. Listen up fools. We made them ourselves. We're going out on the town.

Don't you know we're going out of the town? We're going out. We're going out on the town. Don't you know we're going out of the town?'re going out of town! We're going out of town! Don't you know we're going out of town? Swerving all around the road cause they were tickling me Tick tick tick tick tickling me Tick tick tick tick tick tickling me Tick tick tick tick tick tickling me Oh we danced all night all by ourselves Shaking and giggling like Christmas elves

Giggling cause the sloppy boys loved to dance But people kept asking all about our plans. We already told you, were we not clear? They said, I'm sorry, but we just got here. Then we looked at our watches. It was time to leave. Home and in bed by 9.33. We're going out on the town.

Don't you know we're going out on the town? Come out, we're going out on the town. Don't you know we're going out on the town? Out on the town, going out on the town We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town? We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town? We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town?

We're going out on the town Don't you know we're going out on the town? Out on the town Don't you know we're going out of town On the town On the town On the town On the town On the town On the town

On the town