The Sloppy Boys - 115. Champagne Cocktail

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

The guys get all New Years-y with the original bubbly blaster, first appearing in Jerry Thomas' 1862 book How To Mix Cocktails, or the Bon Vivant's Companion.CHAMPAGNE COCKTAIL RECIPE3oz/90ml Chilled Champagne.33oz/10ml Cognac2 dashes Angostura BittersFew drops Grand Marnier1 Sugar CubePlace the sugar cube with 2 dashes of bitters in a large Champagne glass, add the cognac. Pour gently chilled Champagne. Garnish with orange zest and maraschino cherry.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford and Tim Kalpakis. What is up New Year's Eve weekend stylies? Ooh. Very nice. Very reflective. Yes. New Year's Eve coming up. Coming up.

Well. What's got you down, Jeff? Did we get into it? Tim, I think it's the same thing that's got you down, my man. I'm talking SARS-CoV-2. The novel coronavirus. So I i think jeff you're saying you're feeling kind of down in the dumps over the fact that you and your co-host tim have covid yeah yep but physically physically you're okay but emotionally you're just bad feel no it's it's

those two contributing factors i think have together have me in the dumps i see now if you can't guess yet tim and and Jeff have COVID again. Once again. Jeff, I'm sorry you're going through this. I want to send you a card or something and hope you pull through this hard time of you and also your co-host having COVID. Thanks, buddy. Yeah.

I have a feeling when. It looks like, Mike, you squeaked by. Well, we're not out of the woods yet. Oh, right. All right. Okay. So, yeah, I'm out in LA still, and I was staying with Jeff. And yesterday, Jeff woke up not feeling great, so he took a test.

I went out to go do what I do, watch international soccer early in the morning. International soccer. And then I got a text from Jeff saying he was positive. So I went back to his house, gathered my things, and went to the Hampton Inn Suites in Glendale. You should have gone to the Hamptons. Yeah, right. I know. But this was after we'd done an in-person record

and then gone out to dinner. Dinner at which you sipped a martini I was drinking just to see how it tasted. Yeah, there was a lot of shared contact. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I'm testing negative right now. But, you know, that can change at any moment.

As long as this podcast isn't testing negative, you're not going to know. Yeah, with the critics. This is testing positive. The year-end review is, the critics across the board said, yes, yes, yes. Positive.

There's two little lines popped up on the test. Positive reviews. Positive reviews. across the board said yes yes yes positive there's two little lines popped up on the test positive reviews positive reviews but uh yeah i'm i'm uh managing right now to dodge you know what it is mike i noticed this when when when we first got on this zoom you were eating an apple were you not i was it was really crunchy one i think it was a fiji i think it made me say to myself wow mike really eats of the earth you know oh sometimes yeah because we went grocery shopping and you picked out uh a big uh sorry not a big a small watermelon a little thing of raspberries i said this guy he eats like he eats like Adam. Yeah.

And Jeff, you could be his Eve. I could be. I could be. I also, the first thing I ate when I landed in L.A. was a double-double cheeseburger. Oh, sure. I drank heavily, and I ate a bunch of chips. I'm looking at chips right now across the room. That's the other thing.

So I had a bunch of groceries at Jeff's house, so I brought them with me because they were things for me to eat. Chips are good for you. They're one of the best, what is it? Potato methods? Potato formats? What did we call it?

Execution of potato? Yeah, yeah. It's one of the best. What was it? Best form of potato. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the best forms of potato. But last night's the last... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the best forms of potato. But last time

Oh yeah, go ahead. I just did it along the lines of Hanford Gets Healthy. What's going to really blast you into good health for the new year will be, you mentioned to me you're going to do a polar plunge. I'm going to do a polar plunge on New Year's Day. That is the plan.

Now, Tim, you will be with me on New Year's Eve. Should you go to the polar plunge? That remains to be seen. That remains to be seen if I do it, too. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. Nobody knows.

Nobody knows right now. We're going to find out. Did we cover this on the pod? Did I bring up Tony... Who's the motivational speaker? I can't think of. Robbins? Oh, yeah, yeah. We did. I think it was just the last one we talked about this. Oh, we were drunk. Tony, who's the motivational speaker? I can't think of. Robbins?

Yeah, Robbins. I think it was just the last one we talked about this. Oh, we were drunk. Yeah, this is good recap, though. Or did we even say on air? We talked about this. No, we talked about this on our own private. We're having that thing where it's on air, off air. What happens at dinner?

What happens in the studio? I don't know where Tim, the host in it yeah right right they both say what is it from the neck up it's the host yeah um all right is that enough shit chat can we get into some booze news do we even have booze news yes do we hit it hit it what about What about the bit, bit, bit? I'm off my game. Ooh. Ooh. Ugh. Took me a minute.

I get it. Beautiful. I love string quartet versions of songs Yeah Beautiful Oh my god A little syncopation Give it up string quartet Give It Up String Quartet was sent to us by Paul Burgess.

And if you have a Booze News theme, email to thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com. That was beautiful. Burgess, you did it. You did it. You knocked it out of the park, finally. That is, now I'm curious if Burgess did that on his like uh keyboard or if he has a string quartet it sounded rich sounded real to me but you know midi you these days everything

is is is midi musical instrument digital interface it took me a long time to realize what song that was that's uh that's the trick of the string quartet it's saying something that when i heard it i was like what is this like a radio Radiohead song? I thought it was like, I don't know what. The composer, Tim Kalpakis, he is very Radiohead-esque. Now, did the composer write it for strings and just

ended up recording it with a band? Or was it written for? He had to deal with what was at hand, which was dickhead drummer and bozo bass player. At hand. Yikes. This is like how Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

was originally written as a novel, but then he said, you know what? I think this just has to be a film. You know, I read that novel. So you were writing for cello and viola. Mellow cello. Great work, Paul Burgess. And that also reminds me, we're coming out at the end of the year.

We're doing our Burgess for Burgess pledge drive. Perfect. Get this man. See how many burgers you can eat and post it to Instagram. It all goes to Paul Burgess. You want to talk about burgers for a second. I got something to talk to you about. I got my Duolingo app.

I'm learning Spanish. I'm doing okay. See, I wanted that. I got the Dua Lipa app. But you continue. Yeah. So I got to the section where I'm learning hamburger. It's hamburguesa.

There's a whole section? Just a whole part of the food lesson. It's the ordering food lesson.urguesa. There's a whole section? It's the food lesson. It's the ordering food lesson. Hamburguesa, but if you want a fish burger or a fish whatever, it's hamburguesa de pescado. Sure.

But that's such a funny thing, I think, to be like, here's hamburger and here's fish burger. But we have fish sandwich. I learned that, too. Language is a fish sandwich. I learned that too. Language is a tricky thing. It felt like a tough early one to do. Some of the early ones were water, milk, and bread.

Those were pretty simple. The building blocks of life. And of course, we all know passport is passport. Sure. I'm in a bunch of, in the travel section, there's a bunch of stuff that's like bus, autobus, hotel, hotel, bank, bank. I'm in a bunch of In the travel section There's a bunch of stuff That's like Bus Autobus Hotel

Hotel Bank Banko Like it's a very easy segment For me Duolingo That's that That's cool

I want to do I was thinking about Learning some Greek Oh that'd be good Good Just in time for Greek week I'm also curious I want to

I want to like Do the Duolingo English And see like What they start English People who want to speak English to like do the Duolingo English and see like what they start English people who want to speak English what they start them out

well it's also just good to you know polish up yeah sure you've been speaking it your whole life but

you never know what gaps you gotta fill it's been a while I haven't brushed up on the fundamentals oh it's it's suitcase

not suitcase for example yes of course oh it's a sedan. We've told the suitcase story, right? Come on, regale us, Tim. Yeah, my dad, as a joke, intentionally taught me that a suitcase was a soup case.

And I just said it. I said it. I said it until I was like 12. Until like junior high. And now the sedan side of things is, Jeff, you don't like the word sedan. No, no, no, no. We were joking about the words that people hate, like moist. Right.

And then we were just kind of coming up with like, what are some weird words that people might not like? And we decided like, ooh, month. Ooh, sedan. Oh, that was a sketch. Okay. It was a season two birthday boy sketch i wrote that was about like a conversation that was like all moist and panties and stuff but then yeah jeff was like ooh sedan i thought they came out of the jeff world anyway i told someone recently could

have been uh well jeff boy's sedan is a jeff world thing yeah gotcha i i told so maybe i think it was john haskell the sloppy boys music video director that that Jeff has that issue with the word sedan. So next time he sees you, he might bring that up and you play along. I've noticed that he's been really careful not to say it in front of me. Yeah. The backflips he's gone through. Four-door car. Oh, my Uber's almost here. It's a Volkswagen.

Volkswagen four-door. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus Christ. This is barely gonna happen. You know how often we all say sedan. Yeah, yeah. All right, what's the actual booze news? Well, the end of the year, it's a time to be happy for the future,

but then it's a time to be, is it not, also. Sad for the past? Sad for the future too i don't know my intro but this is sad i wanted to say that this month we lost uh one of the greats 104 year old legendary bartender harry yee passed away this month oh Oh. Oh. This came to us from the Discord. I recognize the name. I can't remember where, I can't remember what his thing was. Well, I guessed bees' knees, but I'm probably just conflating them. No, no, you're thinking Harry Craddock.

This is, or Harry McElhone. Harry Yee was the bartender at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu, Waikiki. He invented the Blue Hawaii, so we discussed him in our blue hawaii episode and we went there let's go to it out but um i would say even more so than the blue hawaii his his big claim to fame he's the guy that took a little tiny umbrella and put it in the yeah yeah because

they used to put them in the chicken right they used to stick them in the chicken yes yes it was like a food thing it was a food thing and and they sold them in Chinatown or something, and he was like, hey, maybe we'll do this. He also put orchids in tiki drinks and stuff. Nice. Man, did you say he was 104? Yeah, he passed on December 7th. Wow, 104.

You don't expect someone living in the bartending world to live so long because you figure that they're going to have some drinks and make it a part of their life and we all know that is not good for health but um i watched the today show and they do like the smuckers birthdays and they announce birthdays that are over 100 and for every single person it's like they ask them what their secret to longevity is and it's always like have a pack a day you know they always smuckers why is smuckers the brand on the the 100 year birthday because old people love preservatives you know because they're well preserved just the idea of it they're like oh yes interesting i'll be

preserved like a grape i was just here i. I heard something about Campbell's Soup. Remember the Campbell's Chunky Soup ads where it was like the football players and like Jerome Bettis. And like he would be there and his mom would come out and say, you gotta eat your chunky soup. Well, every year they would do that with like a new player. And apparently,

apparently kid. So apparently kid. In the Madden football game, you can play like the Chunky tournament game or something like that. And everyone has like Chunky logos on their helmets and on their shirts and stuff. So it's just funny to think of like,

Chunky really got their foot in the door for soup and football. Yeah. One of the great brand tie-ins, much like Butterfinger and Bart Simpson. Yes. Yeah. One of the great brand tie-ins. Much like Butterfinger and Bart Simpson. Yes. Yes. A long-running, symbiotic relationship. Both of these things, like

Butterfingers are neat, man. Neato. They're neato. If you don't know what we're talking about, folks, we discussed candy bars at length over on The Blowout. Oh, yeah. Just go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. You know what? Candy bar didn't come up. I've been keeping my

eyes on the candy bar section at Rite Aid, and a bar that didn't come up on our podcast is Fifth Avenue. I saw that the other day. Oh, yeah. Fifth Avenue. That's funny because it's like Fifth Avenue in New York is like the Madison, like the nice, not

Madison Avenue. Yeah,, that's so sweet. Yeah, I have a place there. But it's like Tiffany's and nice shopping. Oh, nice. So it's like, ooh, this is a nice candy bar. So Tim, for us, that'd be like Rodeo Drive. Thank you. I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

I did have a Take Five lately, because I said, ooh, that's one that I didn't quite get my hands on. Oh, the pretzel one. It's dynamite. I get it. I get the hype. Big Take 5 fan, Nick Kroll. Oh, yeah.

You work with Nick Kroll, you're going to have some Take 5 sitting out on the writer's table. Hey, Nick, can I have one of these? Go ahead, Tim. You're a hell of a guy. Thanks. I have to add to the booze news right now. I am in a hotel room. My connection isn't the greatest.

I'm also on my headphones. I don't have a good microphone here. So the audience is probably saying, why is Antford sound so distant and terrible? Well, it's the headphones. It's the earbuds. And I'm going to try not to do this a lot. No. No!

No! Nasty boy! But I'm also getting from Tim, I'm getting Tim is like, on the screen here is frozen. He's blotchy and frozen. Okay. Jeff, you're clear, but you're moving stuntedly. And sometimes the audio is going a little in and out.

I think it's probably the same connection. If something's being talked about and I'll, and I'm not talking, it's probably cause I can't hear you. Damn. I think I'm probably just the same choppiness as Jeff, but I'm holding more still in the screen. Yeah.

Also we're experienced podcasters going into year three, used to podcasting under adverse conditions. Yeah. Because when COVID happened, we didn't know, like for the first time, you couldn't go out. You couldn't,

you couldn't see the people that you love. You know, you, everyone was at home and we had to make do when COVID was around. Yep. You had to, it was like before COVID, do you want to zoom?

What are you talking about? Now it's zoom is a verb. Right. Zoom is a verb. Right. Now Zoom is a verb. Usually I'd be like, I want to go Zoom around in my Mazda. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Right. Right, right, right.

Do you want to Zoom around the Mazda? Exactly. Yes. When we started, Tim didn't even have a microphone, but he managed to rig up half of a coconut and some paper clips. Yeah. And it's only in the past month. Did he fix that problem?

Yeah. And then I made a Coquito. Come on. Oh, possible drink of the year. That was a good one. Really good one. It's a dessert as much as it is a cocktail,

but yeah. Come on. You have to put a shitload more rum in there. I'm telling you. I'm surprised it took me this long for that to come across my desk, to borrow a phrase. Also, I heard somebody saying they go whiskey and not rum in the Coquito.

Really? Who said that? Reddit on the net. I want you off of there, Jeff. You're getting a lot of bad ideas on there. How else will I be radicalized? Yeah, that's true. Oh boy. We don't need that. All right.

That's it for Booze News, yes. Wrap it up. Great. I'm trying to turn my, I'm turning the Wi-Fi off on my phone. You think you're sinking the whole hotel's Wi-Fi with your phone? No, just in my room, though.

Could be pulling it pulling it one way or the other either way we do not need this type of crap right now okay guys it is the end of the year it is a wonderful celebratory time we've had christmas we've had christmas eve all the holidays except we're headed toward let us not forget new year's eve as was mentioned not to mention new year's day kind of a little bit of a champagne time of year would you not agree a sparkly jubilee i would have to agree with that sentiment oh yes it's a good time for popping bottles and kissing models. Or sabering.

Or sabering. And savoring, too. And savoring. And whether you're out at night celebrating or you're having that hair of the dog brunch, this is the time of year to get into the bubbly and when we uh said

what drink should we do now we said well we've been saving a certain selection from the iba cocktail list specifically for this type of occasion and it is the champagne cocktail you've Not had. You've heard? No. Wow. What do you think of the name? Pretty basic, huh? I think it is pretty basic. It's one of those things I don't know what to expect. I've seen the list of ingredients. I know what to expect. You don't like champagne, so you should expect

Your expectations should be low. I don't like champagne and the ingredients I got here, what I made do at the hotel, suck. So we would be like, what, tap water, mouthwash? Are you going to be using a little plastic cup from the bathroom? Yeah. No, it's not even plastic.

It's that paper cup thing. Oh, my God. Nice. I just got the stuff, and I'm chilling it now in the little fridge that was not turned on, so now it's on. Oh, it's going to be warm. The fridge is just cooling down now. Wow.

Beverage is getting cold along with the fridge. I put everything in there, though. Now, Tim, to me, when you say champagne cocktail, I think, oh, this is great. I'm getting in on the ground floor. This is the first of its kind, maybe like the old fashioned. Would I be right in making that kind of assumption? Or would I be a right ass? A right jolly old ass?

Getting in the ground floor is the origin of a thing, not in that it's new and it's just popping off now. Because we've heard of many cocktails that use champagne, but this is called the champagne cocktail the the the big original mama you are on the right track jeff but let me more importantly culturally i feel like i need to paint a picture for you okay i love that you're ready to go along for a little ride close your eyes with pleasure this pic may 5th 2014 the standard hotel highline manhattan new york new york exiting an after party for the met gala rapper jay-z aka sean combs his wife beyonce knolls

and her sister solange knolls entered the elevator cool calm collector oh boy but the second the elevator door closes it's another story altogether solange becomes crazed she means she's she begins to punch and kick jay for making love to becky with the good hair oh soon the surveillance video will be all over tmz and soon beyonce would spin the tail into grammy gold but then something remarkable happens a young comedy writer is in new york for the holidays 2014 december of that very same year and he's staying at that very same highline hotel what he rides the very same elevator where the incident took place and he goes to the very same rooftop bar where the party had taken place there's a dress code and he's not allowed to wear his nikes so he gets by on a technicality wearing his big fat clumpy winter boots like a big

fucking idiot into a fancy bar the room is giving glamour oh top of the standard is gorgeous he goes to the restroom he finds that the urinals are facing out the window with a breathtaking view of the empire state city wow everyone can see is yeah with a certain uh high caliber magnifying yeah you need uh two telescopes and you can see everything you're making fun of me for my dick looking small from a hundred stories yeah yeah we are wait this is you oh this is you tim hold on cut that out um 18 million new yorkers look up and say, ooh, that's a teeny little dick. Okay, no. No, no. So,

the comedy writer who's in question here, he takes a glorious piss as hot as it is yellow. And then he makes his way back to the elegant bar. He looks at the menu and a certain cocktail catches his eye. He looks up to the bartender and says i'll have a

champagne cocktail please cut to muso and franks in hollywood this very year 2022 that young comedy writer has blossomed into a young comedy writer with gray sideburns he's celebrating his mother in law's birthday he looks at the menu and a certain cocktail catches his eye he turns to the red jacketed waiter and bellows i'll have a champagne cocktail and so my friends if you ask me today have you had the champagne cocktail i've had twice it was me in the story yes yes yeah wow amazing amazing i had no idea you were at the same hotel that jay-z was once in right sean carter same elevator well now i've seen that video we'll get back to the comedy writer in question yeah but i've seen that video beyonce

i can't remember beyonce is there too she's just watching it happens she like stands in the corner bodyguards breaking up and beyonce knows what it's all about so she's just standing there dang what a crazy time you got to imagine that she knows not that there's cameras in the elevator but just that she's got this sort of media training down this publicity training down where publicity she knows she's she's technically still in public and she can't react. Solange was not quite as groomed. Did we? Beyonce. So she's the one who lashed out, you see.

Because Beyonce has isn't there there's a song lyric about like billion dollars in an elevator or whatever. And yeah, I do think it's like Solange isn't, wasn't quite as media trained perhaps. Ah, uh, there is a, there is a question on my mind for you two, which is YouTube. Did we ever find out who Becky with the good hair is?

Um, is that somebody who's just never been named or it's people figured it out. I don't, I didn't know her, but it's like someone you didn't know personally not personally i mean i thought through there were like five or six people i know it wasn't there like i don't know anyone named becky and uh the ones people i do know don't have good hair um well uh historically this drink outside of just me

and solange um remember in our very first episode of this podcast, the Tom Collins, we talked a lot about legendary bartender, Jerry Thomas, uh, his book that came out in the 1860s is like the original, like cocktail book where a lot of shit, uh,

was first mentioned. And Jeff, you're right. This is the champagne cocktail is in that book. Uh, an early version of it. That's very simple doesn't have the cognac and stuff um and it's 1862 which was funny to me that they're like putting out a

fun time cocktail book in the middle of the civil war but two decades later bartender uh harry johnson in new york kicks it up with a few more ingredients and we get the classic champagne cocktail that is on menus to this day. Here is the IBA recipe. 90 milliliters chilled champagne. That's three ounces, 10 milliliters, cognac, third of an ounce, two dashes, Angostura bitters, few drops of grand Marnier optional one sugar cube. Here's the method. Place the sugar cube with two dashes of bitters in a large champagne glass. Add the cognac. Pour gently chilled champagne.

Garnish with orange zest and maraschino cherry. Great. I forgot the orange zest. Here's another problem I'm realizing that I have here at the hotel. I don't have any measuring stuff. So, well, two dashes and then how much champagne? I guess this fills the top of the champagne and then a little splash there of,

uh, I can't wait to see what you come up with. Man, it's going to be so funny. I'm going to go to the letter of the law, except I don't have the Grand Marnier. I, I,

I will do the Grand Marnier and I like it with the Grand Marnier cause it gives that, that orangey glow. But, um, I don't have a sugar cube. So I'm just going to use a little bit of sugar in the bottom. But I will say what's cool about the cube is you notice that we didn't stir this up, right? So like the cube, when I had this at Musso and Frank, I really liked it. I think I have a video from it um oh the sugar the sugar cube sits in the bottom of the glass it's got the the bitters on it and then you add the other stuff on top of it so like that cube is kind of just sitting there it exists at the bottom it's a sub layer it's kind of giving little uh little bubbles and then at the end you have a little dessert nice well great uh i can't wait to mix this up should we get to it yeah folks we'll see you after the ads and we're back champagne cocktailsagne cocktails in hand. Looking good.

Look at it. Oh, Hanford, look at that. They put a little, the cups here have little smiley faces on them. Cute. They should smile more. I'm always telling you that, Mike. I say, smile for me, baby. Come on.

Yeah, I do it. Well, here's one, too. Hey! This one, this cup has a little mustache on it, so you look like it. Funny. Fun. Oh, wait a second. Now, you guys, you're...

It's a Hampton Inn, Mike, right? Yeah, yeah. When we were in Chicago playing a show in Chicago last year, we stayed at the Hampton Inn, and that was in the elevator. It's a funny hotel that does jokes and remember in the elevator it said awesome sauce just like for no reason on the wall awesome sauce awesome sauce yeah this is uh there's no jokes in this elevator yet but uh but there's mustaches on the cups hold on I saw you got your drinks were sort of brown look at uh here's what color my drink is green it's blue oh wow what the hell's going on there oh when i got my my champagne

i thought the glass was tinted blue but it's uh a blue champagne it's called blanc de blue it's brute fancy okay well and then but mixed with the uh brown liquor it's turned into yeah It's called Blanc de Bleu. It's root. Fancy. Okay. Well, and then, but mixed with the brown liquor, it's turned into, yeah, it's kind of a greenish. What kind of cognac do you do? It's over there. It's like EVO or E something. ENJ? Yeah, something like that. ENJ.

I got a little Hennessy in there. How about that? I got a little, that looks nice. I'm turning into a real Hennessy guy. Henny, as I like to call it. I love Henny. It was the only nip they had, the E&J, because I was like, I don't want to bring more liquor back to my hotel room and fly with it.

All right, shall we sit? I'll say, Jeff, yours looks really nice. I also went for not a champagne flute, but I built mine in a coupe glass because I've seen I've had the the it made like this a lot but here was my one fatal flaw was i really tried to pour that champagne softly to not disrupt the sugar and stuff but i kind of splash it too hard and and it kind of all mixed up but i don't really have like a a brown sugar bomb at the bottom like i wanted oh wait i got mar my racino cherry too. Didn't they suggest that?

I'm going to do that. Yes. Yes. Hold on. You keep talking. Um, Tim, this is another case where like when you make it to specs,

now I've have like a half full coop glass. I feel like a fool. Right. You know, this should be a double. Yeah. Or you need a little teeny little Nick and Nora for that. I got a big old boat of a glass.

Not past that halfway point, but hey, that's life. And I guess the reason for the champagne flute must be surface area, right? Much like the highball glass. Right. You want to keep those bubbles trapped. Okay. Sips, Mike? Yes.

Let's do it. Sips. Ugh. okay sips mike yes let's do it sips okay oh should old acquaintance be forgot yeah if this is an acquaintance i would happily forget it oh really your green paper cup of bullshit? Don't forget warm. Hey, that just remembered me, reminded me of my definitive version of Auld Lang Syne, which Jeff played at the end of this episode to play us out. People need to hear that. That'll be nice.

I think that'll bring a tear. It'll be a rousing New Year. Not a dry eye in the house. Now, Tim, do you think when we see Fish on New Year's Eve, Jeff, you're, of course, invited, but we've learned that you, unfortunately, cannot make it. Respectfully decline, yeah. Tim and I will be at MSG. We got a polite pass from Jeff.

Do you think when they play All Blank Zion, they'll be playing your version or the traditional version? Probably mine because you can jam it out a little bit. A full roll! Yeah, yeah. I kind of think so, too. I mean, they did last year and the year before, so why wouldn't they?

So why wouldn't they? Yeah, I'm sorry that was so formal when I declined. I know my assistant reached out to you guys and was like, look, Jeff loves both of you guys. Like, really would love to find the right thing someday, this just isn't it isn't the right we'd love to we'd love the right find the right event event to attend but this just isn't the one this just to get the three you guys together yeah we thought it was great we're like great actually well so we

have a relationship with jeff maybe this wasn't the thing but we'll figure it out but she said tiff says hi by the way mike when you and i go to madison square garden to see fish i don't know that i've actually i've been to penn station i may have never actually been in the garden before can i expect that i'm gonna bump into uh mark messier patrick ewing some of the greats over the years yes yeah they all have apartments under the ice it's one of those weird technicalities if you even play one game there you get an apartment for life now wait a minute tim you've never been went to a rangers game i i was a ranger fan i i my brother and dad were big rangers fans

and i i feel like my dad didn't want to deal with bringing us into the city. Like we went to, we hated the New Jersey devils, but we went to devil's games. Cause you could just like drive to the meadowlands. Yeah. In fact, I feel like I probably even saw like the Rangers play the devils. Now,

uh, today that this episode is coming out the 28th, correct? Mm. Today, tonight, I'm going to see fish tonight. What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. At the MSG, they're playing four shows, you know, leading into the new year. Wild. Cool? Where? At the MSG, they're playing four shows leading into the New Year's. Wild. Cool. They're doing 28th, 29th, 30th, and 31st. You like that band, don't you? I'll be there. I've never done

more than one of these. I've done one of the New Year's run before. A lot of big acts can fill the house in a case like that. Previously, we played two shows back-to- back at subterranean in chicago do you remember that yeah yeah i don't forget we sit at hampton inn and the elevator set of maze balls awesome awesome sauce same worlds same world that's pretty fun though to uh

you know maybe you go to a city and you could play the big giant place, but maybe you play the medium place and you play it a couple times. That's a cool move. Yeah, the giant place being MSG and the medium place being Subterranean. Now, don't get it twisted, Chicago fans. When we come on the tour in April, we will not be playing Subterranean this time. It didn't work out date-wise, but we're playing Beat Kitchen. The Beat Kitchen.

And that's a Saturday night, folks. Oh, my God. So put on your dancing shoes. Chicago loves Beat Kitchen. It's going to be perfect. Hey, if you didn't hear about this, we're touring the Midwest. Go to our socials and find out we're hitting your city. And when we say Midwest, we weirdly include Atlanta and New Orleans.

Why not Memphis? We haven't really looked at a map. Those are bonus. We're not geographical guys. But you gotta say, you gotta call it something. That's true. And for the hometown fans in LA, we're gonna be playing in Highland Park at the Lodge Room with Don't Stop

or We'll Die on January 26th. Check that out. In Townland. Get out to that show. In Townland. In Townland. Matt Gourley. Holy shit. We've played there before. That is a fun room. It is a lively room.

It sounds good. So, folks, you come to that, you're going to have a little fun. And we don't mind being the purveyors of that fun. Now, last time we played there. In fact, we step out on stage. We step out on stage last time. Wait a minute, Tim. Watch what story you're telling here.

Might make one of us look bad. We'll see you by the end of the story. We'll revisit. The crowd is hungry. The mood is right. We step on the stage. There's a roar of the slob heads. Jefferson Dunn sits at his drums, gets a little splashy in the cymbals.

Tim Galbagas slings on his app and starts tuning up. He's dialed in. heads. Jefferson doesn't sits at his drums, gets a little splashy in the symbols. Tim got ready, slings on his app and starts tuning up. He's dialed in. Mike Hanford drops his bass onto the floor. Hanford puts the

bass on one of the, one of the fasteners for the strap was not attended to correctly by him and it fell off. All the slop heads go silent, hands clapping over their ears from the loud bass thong. You know, you never like to do that.

Tim doesn't see this. Tim launches into the first song. We play the whole song and only at the end does Mike say, Tim, did you see my bass fell off? Did you see? That is not a fun thing to do And it's especially not fun when you're borrowing the bass from Paul Rust Who's just in the wings watching My bass!

You fool! Well, if there's ever anyone who's not a picky gearhead, it's Paul Rust He can fling a bass around He and I have passed basses between each other before And no real care for how it's handled fling a bass around. He and I have passed basses between each other before and no real care for how it's handled. This drink

does stink. Hey, I like it. Save it for final thoughts, dude. But I like Angostura, so I'm enjoying the drink, right? But I said to myself, Tim, this is familiar what is it what does it remind you of that we've had on the pod and then it hits me something worse but

similar something bad oh but similar the seal bach uh remind me what's in that yeah i'm gonna block that out it was a universally despised drink by us that i brought back from louisville and it's champagne with bourbon in it but it also has quattro and bitters so it has an orangey bitters thing going on this is very similar then yeah wait so does seal back has champagne um yes but it's got an ounce of bourbon so you know this is gentle with the cognac uh and that's kind of a harsher thing and i loved it when i had it at the seal back hotel but then when we had it in la i said this is gentle with the cognac, and that's kind of a harsher thing. And I loved it when I had it at the Sealback Hotel, but then when we had it in LA, I said, this is not an order again. Yeah, these both taste like, or that drink and this both taste like something that you'd stumble upon as an eight-year-old at your grandma's.

And not the grandma that you go to see all the time, the other grandma. It just has sort of like a foreign, mature, out-of-reach taste that I still don't love. It's, you know, I'm having a tough time judging this because it's such a weird situation. But I don't think I would like this drink anyway.

Do you have bitters in there, Mike? Mm-hmm. And I got some sugar from the little coffee area here at the hotel. There you go. Oh, man. You did pretty well. I got it.

I got the stuff. Yeah, you got more stuff than I thought you were going to get. Because initially, you know what I said initially? I'm just not going to do this one. Yeah. Took a little cajoling on the group chat to get you out to the liquor store in front of me i don't want to do it i don't want to now uh given the circumstance how do you make this into a drink

that you do like i'll say this what's really working for me is the grand marnier so i i do like the tradition of champagne with a little thing plopped in it, you know, whether it's a cur Royale or whatever. I would say, folks, if you're just having champagne and if you have like Cointreau or Grand Marnier around, just give a little. That's nice. Yeah. You know what? I think we should do around, too. I think my this is actually good for my COVID.

Probably just the bubbles. And I don't have grand Marnier, but I do have Quantro and I will add a splash. Nice. And I'll report back. My round two is going to be ice. I'm going to, I got the ice machine right next to my room.

I'm going to put some ice in this thing. Cool. You're going to need it. My round two is going to be the same thing, but before we get there, I wanted to check in with you guys and just ask if you had a good Christmas. Oh, yes. Yes.

Christmas was fantastic. Spent with loved ones. Same. I will have had a good Christmas. And how was the sentiment? Top notch. It was right there. Best of the year, baby.

Right there. Because I wanted to tell you guys something which was i so i had a great christmas and i so i watched this this tv special that was like this vintage tv special it was a cartoon and it was so good it was called frosty the snowman and yes right have you seen that yeah the hat he's his hat and the magician runs him around yeah yep right so there's you mentioned the hat um and then the magician and then um magician's name hinkley or something he had a funny name yeah hinkley is i think an assassin yeah he was sort of assassin yeah i'm just trying i'm trying to remember everything about uh frosty because i love this character so much um i was trying to remember every uh aspect of him that i loved the most

and i was like well yeah that he had that magic hat and that's over hinkle right and then there was that of course hinkle and um um it's escaping me right now, but do you know what kind of cob pipe he had? Wait, hold on. I can't really remember what type of cob pipe. Frosty. It's on the tip of my tongue. I know there's a young man out in the world who, oh. Jeff, hit it!

Okay, great. Great. Yep, I know. It's corn! That's the kind of cob pipe that Frosty had! And he had a button nose it's corn that's the kernel kind of pipe and eyes of coal and don't forget the magic hat yeah it was corn oh it was corn it's corn it's corn. It's corn. It's corn.

Oh, I almost said it. There might be some kid online who knows about it. What was the kid at all who was saying that? That was me. He was an adult man, yeah. It was you. I get that. Yeah. So it's corn, folks.

And it wasn't so obsessed with what was the kind of cob. You also cover all the major attributes of Frosty, the coal eyes and the button nose. You still get all those. And that's good. Yeah. And two eyes made out of coal. And two eyes made out of snow. Yeah.

Snowy, the coal man. Yeah. You know, that's the problem when you're making a snowman and you give them eyes of snow, they don't really pop. They don't pop out.

That's why they started using coal and corn and carrots. Alright, enough of whatever this is. Thank you. Let's do a second round and we'll come back here and we'll discuss our final thoughts. Quick question, since we're talking about snowmen. Have you ever seen out in the

real world a good snowman? Yeah, make them all the time. Really? Like that one that's just like shitty? Mike, I'm like good snowman yeah make them all the time really like that one that's just like all year long shitty and mike i'm like the snowman guy damn i i just never really have come across i'd roll up one of those dudes three ball style tonight i would always be the kid who like wanted to make a t-rex but then never could yeah right right nobody's doing the uh the calvin and hobbs version jeff you seem like the kind of kid where you're at the beach you were really intent on that sandcastle all the other kids are playing around the water and you're sleeping i'll tell you

the kids are showing off their muscles to each other and you're like ah one time i went to the beach this is must have been like junior high or something and my buddy and i were like let's just dig a hole let's just dig a hole and and we dug a hole so deep that the lifeguards came around and said you can't do that you got to fill that back in and we were like no man it's cool it's like natural it's just like a hole and he said yeah the beachcomber is gonna fall in it you gotta fill in this hole no it's cool man it was like five feet deep we had like spade shovels did it start getting wet down at the bottom or was it that deep that it was wet yeah nice i i did a my uh neighbors we had a neighbor who was my brother's age you know two of them they one

summer afternoon just like started digging a hole in one of the sandboxes when i think in our neighbor's yard and uh they went down and down, and we all came over. I walked over and said, yeah, what's this big hole? We dug a hole. In the sandbox. Just in the sandbox, as far as they could go. That's funny, because you start digging in the sandbox, and eventually you hit dead grass.

Yeah, and they kept going. And you keep going. All right, well, folks, why don't you digest all of that, and then we'll come back here, and we'll talk about our final thoughts. It's sand. And we're back with our final thoughts. Well, let's discuss these variants, these round twos. Yes.

Okay, I put ice in mine. And the machine gave crushed ice, kind of like a cracked ice. Oh, the machine is giving crushed. More drinkable, colder, but not good. I did a little half ounce Cointreau. A half-er. This is pretty solid. Better. Oh. Better.

Oh. Better. But will it snatch the champagne cocktail from the fiery jaws of fate? From the crypt. I don't know.

I don't know. I did because I liked the first round. This time I was just curious about what it would be like to have champagne just with a splash of Grand Marnier

in there. And first, I put a little splash and it was not enough because i've got i have corbel so this is like bad champagne so i was like well that's no good but then i then i just added more grand marnier and now it's too much and now it tastes bad again so my variation has been has been a bust isn't it funny when you're a kid like you hear corbel so much because they advertise a lot. So you think it's the good one. And then when you become an adult, you realize the stuff that's like the most advertised and the most available is actually not the best.

There's a reason like Ferrari doesn't put on TV ads. Remember the Corbell commercial with the drinking out of the high heel shoe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. corbel commercial with the drinking out of the the high heel shoe it's like a guy it's like a 90s commercial this couple is making out after a like a fancy date and uh he takes off her shoe high heel shoe fancy shoe pours champagne in it takes a sip being all sexy and he goes and she's like what and he like, the champagne is not Corbel. That's great. You got a foot fungus, babe. It's one for the ages, though.

Babe, you fucking stink. Ooh, you got a fungus. You need tough-acting tenactin. It's a tenactin commercial. They should have done a crossover with those little gremlins that go under the toes. You know those guys? Oh, yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. Nasty boys. You know what worked on me, though, was Grey Poupon. with those little like gremlins that go under the toes you know those guys oh yeah yeah jesus christ

nasty boys you know what worked on me that was great poupon and i don't think yeah i don't think there's a fancy mustard out there great poupon today it was really good i you know what i had recently a little jar of cole's mustard that like ancient original mustard it's good but that's life well i'm gonna i'm gonna begin my thoughts okay this is uh maybe good if you know it's the end of the year there's a lot of uh celebrating going on and if somebody hands you one of these i'd say go ahead and take a sip yeah but in general i think this this is not a Stone Cold classic. I dare say it's not an order again, and it's a skipper. Like, not Skipper Bill. What about the character on Gilligan's Island?

Yes. Got it. It's him. See, now I do think it's a skipper, but a Skipper Bill. Oh, shit. Yes, this for me is, we understand understand i've not given it the best shot here uh now my usual response would be you know next time i'm at the the standard high line i should go up to that area and say give me one of those drinks that tim had all those years ago the

champagne cocktail but you know what i'm not gonna waste a drink out. You're getting a martini there. You go there, you're getting a martini. Admit it. I get a martini. I get something I know I like, and I want to have the best of it. This, you know, I don't like champagne. I don't like the taste of it. So that.

I get no kick from champagne. No. So this is a pass for me. You both. Sorry. You both are such Martini guys When we went to Tama I was surprised both of you

No hesitation, martini It's the king of the drinks I mean if I'm getting a big piece of beef A ribeye or a prime rib It's kind of mandatory To have a martini to cut right through it And I'll tell you what You use it to cut the steak He pours I'll tell you what. You're using cut the steak.

Yeah, he pours it right on the thing. Round two, you guys were getting beers. Jeffy had black and tans. Mike had a Smithwicks. So I was like, I guess I'll get beers with the boys. So I had a Guinness, and I came home that night, and I was like, why did I have all that Guinness? Oh, that was so full.

Rolled in the door. Oh, yeah, I guess like you won't bang for your buck. If you're eating a big old protein, you want, you don't want a ton of volume. No,

you want to shrug down. You want it crisp and cold and it's going to cut right through. I don't even know what that means, cut through. Think about it. Think about your steaks. Your steak is in your stomach, whole,

one big piece. And then you have such a cold martini, and it's so small and compacted. It's like a diamond. It comes flying down the esophagus and then right through the steak. Precision incision. What? Yeah, I guess that isn't happening down there. And then you shoot it all out. And you shoot it out precision shing sharp shards at your toilet all right tim your final thoughts please did you give them uh delicious order again

my one tip would be you know there's this this comes up a lot what is a, you know, there's this, this comes up a lot. What is a dash? You know, you're dashing with your dasher, with your Angostura. Do you do a big dash? Do you do a small dash or whatever? This is a drink, folks. It's two dashes, but make them small dashes because I do think that Angostura bitters, I love them. I mean, I love the Trinidad sour, but too much bitters in this drink steals the elegance and makes it a little bit sharp.

Ooh, steals the elegance. That sounds great. That's great. Stolen valor going on here. So you want to keep this more of an orangey, cognac-y champagne drink. Yeah, drink it out of an orange peel even. But it's great, and it's good for me. I don't get too amped on champagne.

New Year's Eve, you want to drink champagne. I really only like expensive champagne that I can't afford, so I don't buy it. And so if you have Corbell, do this. If you can spend $100 on champagne, get some of that Moulet or Vouv Clicquot or whatever. It's so fucking good. I love that shit. I've only had it like five times, but it's amazing. Yeah, folks, if you're twisting the cap off, you

didn't get the right shit. Yeah, if you got no punt, you don't have the good stuff. This has a little punt. If you got no punt, your champer's a runt. Well, the liquid in my paper cup is starting to melt through. Melt, bleed through, so Jeff, it might be time to wrap up this little gig. Well, the liquid in my paper cup is starting to...

Melt through? Melt, bleed through. So, Jeff, it might be time to wrap up this whole gig. That's our show. Follow us on social media, at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And hey, if you can't get enough boys, saunter on over to patreon.com slash thesloppyboys

and unlock that bonus episode, that bonus weekly episode, The Sloppy Boys Blowout, where we talk about the shit we really care about. Woo! Like, for example, this week we're discussing 2022's best thing. Oh, hell yeah. And if you want to get your fingers working on that keyboard of yours on your computer or cell phone, hop on over to the sloppyboys.com and check out the apparel selection.

Fine threads for those... For the new year. For those shoulders. Yeah. From shoulder to waist, buy a t-shirt with haste. Yes. And buy two

if you want. If there's more than one of you in your household. Yes. And buy two if you want. If there's more than one of you in your household. Yes. Fill up your cart with T-shirts. Hit checkout. You get the shirts. You get the shirts. Right.

Put in your credit card numbers like the main thing. Tweet us your credit card number. And don't just, a lot of people do this and they complain. It was, hey, the shirts never came. They just wave their credit card in front of their computer no no nope that's a big N-O

from the hand man you gotta type in them out type out the N-O that's a big N-O wrong goodbye folks bye bye a four-year-old

a L-A-N-G-Z-A-N my dear a four-year-old. Lange Zahn. I will take a cup of kind. It's yet a four-year-old. Lange Zahn. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Damn.