The Sloppy Boys - 120. Martinez

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

The guys sample a classic from Jerry Thomas (or a saloon in Martinez, California) that might be (but probably isn't) the precursor to the Martini!MARTINEZ RECIPE1.5oz/45ml London Dry Gin1.5oz/45ml Sweet Red Vermouth1 bar spoon Maraschino Liqueur2 dashes Orange BittersPour all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with lemon zest.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Let me do it for you. And Tim Kalpakis? Let me take you down cause I'm going to what is up. Okay, good. I knew that one.

I thought you were singing that. Mike, what was your thing? Do you know what I'm talking about? Okay. No. So this is something that I found on TikTok and Instagram that I think is so weird. It's one of these things. I don't want you out there mike on tiktok no it's okay so i've got the uh the parent filters on it's one of these instagram things because i brought it up to so i was with a group of friends and i said has anyone heard that does anyone know what i'm talking about when i say that? And it's, let me do it for you.

And what it is, it's that paired with a dog called a borzoi dog. It's like a big kind of tall dog, but very thin with a long nose. And it's images of like that type of dog usually cartoon dog like putting his nose into long nose into a pringles can and getting something out or like going down into the earth and getting something or like somebody will play that song and they'll like uh pan their phone over to like a plug in the wall that looks like two black eyes and like a long snoot oh yes and it's a song it's an fka twigs song that's like being like reimagined but i tried to read up a little bit on the story of it but like somebody made a i sounded crazy talking about but so somebody made a audio

recording of like kermit and piggy like breaking up or something and that's like the piggy's voice singing the f gate twigs but it's just like i'm watching watching them now. They're wild. These dogs are so weird. I don't like these dogs. Well, I saw one this weekend. I was up in Tim's hometown of Woodstock, and we were on the street, and I saw one.

I was like, oh, my God. What's your dog? And we told this person about the meme, and they didn't know what was going on either. Please step away from my dogs. But since I've kept watching them, my TikTok and my instagram is just filled with these constantly how'd you like being up in calpe town huh good we're gonna go back to the borzoi thing in a second it was very nice do we have to yes we do because there's

bigger points to be made here jeff okay first of all Woodstock's very nice, Tim. I saw where your old pizza shop was. What's it called now? Garden? Well, yeah. We had two pizzerias. One was Woodstock Pizza. It's now Garden Cafe. And the other was Winchell's Pizza. And it's now Veggie Oasis. What's with these veggie

people swooping in? All the pizza's gone. The veggie's in, man. Which one did I see? The old Winchell's or the old Woodstock? Woodstock. It's like right on the Village Green. It was called Woodstock Pizza. Oh, okay.

I forgot that you guys had two places. You had a cool t-shirt. The Woodstock Pizza one with that big Cheshire cat laying down. It was like a raccoon. The cat looked like Mike Mitchell, yeah. Yeah. Wait, it was a cat? He was laying on his side eating pizza.

It was a big fluffy cat, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wait, he's a cat? Like laying on his side eating pizza. He's a big fluffy cat, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In repose. But so going back to the Borzoi meme. Yeah. That just, it's one of those things, you know when you see memes and you learn about like where they came from or why they exist? Yeah.

It still baffles me that that came together the way it did and it's like hitting so many people's eyeballs and ears. Not you two, but me of course. There's a ton of people doing it. I don't know why something gets big and other things don't. It's so many pivots from the original source material.

It mutated so much. And it's like it's only those mutations only happen because the last one was working and that and people were into it so they kept mutating but like if you're trying to hear about it after the fact it sounds crazy because it wasn't intelligent design it was just this thing it's like it's like when you if you didn't know about like pepe the frog and then you're trying to read about pepe the frog you're like why did they why did they do this and it's like well they didn't know they were doing you know they did it one little step

at a time there's that really good uh documentary about pepe the frog feels good man yeah yeah i gotta see that you should it's it just makes you think about how there's so much more going on in the internet and deep internets and stuff. I don't like that. I want to know, Mike, I don't know. I don't want to know either, but it's all happening.

It's all happening under the surface. You see on your phone. I just saw, um, that doc is great, but I also saw something online, uh, recently a little doc piece about the difference between social media,

which we use. It has your name on it, right? So you're being like, hey, maybe if this is funny, I get some clout. Hey, maybe if this is cool, I get some clout. But you're thinking in terms of you. Don't chase clout, Tim. It's an endless, it's endless.

The idea of not being anonymous. Right. The very fundamental, like, I wouldn't touch my phone. If I were anonymous, there's no reason. I only go to my phone to try to convince the world that Tim is great, you but uh for for the uh for uh 4chan and 8chan and stuff that's the very appeal is um is the anonymity but so i saw this little like a doc that was saying like the climiness of someone like me reaching for clout it's uh uh that's because i'm like seeing my life

as an upward ladder because it's just like well i went to college and then i got jobs and now i want to get famous and i'm like but it was making the case for anonymity is like you're digging down and you're digging and you're like you're uh in a way being like proudly like digging down into the dregs and that's what brings up brings out more like id thoughts is like lower aspirations which which is funny it's almost making the the influencer thing sound righteous which is not but those are the two directions you have is you're either trying to convince the world you're great or you you're convinced that you don't matter at all so so then what becomes, you get off on,

I'm being super honest. I'm being so honest, it's problematic. And I'm being so honest, I'm a Nazi now. Yikes. That's why, yeah, that's... Yikes. Which I don't condone.

Right. But like that's... And pay no attention to my Spotify wrapped playlist. I may have heard a few Kanye songs, but... Because we were covering a documentary about him. Thank you. But, yeah, it seems like the 4chan, 8chan, where it's

anonymous, that's where all the rough stuff comes out, because people are like, hey, I got no connection to anything. I can get crazy down there. Check this out. I got an idea. 123chan. Ooh, yeah. Top Chan. Ooh, yeah. Top it.

Just keep going. Yep. Why 123? Well, four Chan, then eight Chan. Yeah. I'm going to top them all. 123 Chan. Because you think-

I would just go nine Chan. The next one they got is maybe 16 best. Oh, I see. 16 tops. I'm trying to do some A to C thinking here, you know? Okay. Why not a billion? I went for a prime number as well.

Not prime. 61 times 3 would be 123. Wow, Timmy! Is that for real? Math man, I love this stuff. Stack up the numbers, divide them down, give them to me, baby. Give it to me, baby. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh uh-huh now you say wait what did you say

that was no it's not he but they're but 123 is not prime but it's not 61 it's like 41 41 oh no it's not 61 60 oh fuck you're close i give it to you no jeff you're cutting all this no you get it you get it no because you get it tim is great for you got your clout now 41 41 okay so this is making me think that maybe i should be anonymous and i and i shouldn't be an influencer and not only did i get the number wrong i got it wrong and then kind of like bragged about it that i'm good at math usually that would work on me and i'd go oh yeah to anyone who says the math number first gets it and is probably right but jeff here i mean jeff's gonna cut it out so it doesn't matter right right right that's snipped consider that snipped much like a cold martini cutting through the rib eye of your stomach. Ooh, martini. Hey, martini, not to jump the gun, but related to the drink of the day.

Shut up. But first, but first, a little... Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, dude, booze News. Hit it. Muppets. Bada-da-boo-vee. Bada-da-boo-vee. Bada-da-boo-vee.

It's Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Folks, over at our Patreon it's madonna month because we're watching but out of movies it might be madonna that's not true though don't say we're madonna movie month the way i see it yeah we're doing four madonna movies no we're not well on wednesday's episode of the blowout to patreon subscribers they heard us talk about truth or dare did they not yes they did they They did. And they loved it. They laughed throughout. Yeah.

Well, we were funny and we were kind of cracking up. Full reports that they were laughing. Yeah. And hey, Madonna in Madonna news just announced her world tour. Oh, yes. So aren't we? And we've been talking about Madonna for a month now. Very prescient on the part of us boys.

And what did I say? This is back in 2022, I said the next big thing that everyone's going to be running to is Madonna. Did I not say that? Did you know her 60th birthday was coming up? I did not. I do not pay attention to... I don't value 60th birthdays the way

I do 40, 50, and 70. Yeah, yeah. That's weird, because on my dad's 60th, he gave me a big hug, and he said, you're a hell of a guy! Yeah, but what did I do when I was 50? I took him out. He and I went out. We did a balloon ride.

We did the whole thing. You took him down to Atlantic City. I showed him what was happening. I just felt like it's going to be one of these, Madonna's going to come back, and people are going to do, oh, I love Madonna. I've always loved Madonna. Let me post about Madonna. True. I knew it. I could feel I love Madonna. I've always loved Madonna. Let me post about Madonna. True.

I knew it. I could feel it. Madonna. I've been on a kick. Yeah? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it was probably your kick that got me talking.

No, no. But for me, it's the old stuff. Give me the first three albums. Sure. For me, it's brand new. Music. No, no. That's the weird middle, Mike.

Come together. The weird middle. All right. What's the booze news? together the weird middle all right what's the news well folks it was the game show question heard around the world yes recently podcast listener kyle baker was a contestant on Jeopardy, and one of the categories was booze and brews, if you can believe it. And then this happened. Hit the clip. I'll take brews and booze for a thousand. Creme de cacao and half and half are two other ingredients in this brandy cocktail,

a favorite of John Lennon. Christina. What is a grasshopper? No. Kyle. What is a brandhopper? No. Kyle. What is a Brandy Alexander? That's it. Kyle.

That was cool, man. Hold on. I got the name wrong. His name is actually Kyle Daly. I said Kyle Baker and I apologize. That's okay. Kyle Daly, he said that he, because he's a member of our Patreon

and he wrote on the Discord, that he got this question right on Jeopardy because he heard about it on the Brandy Alexander episode. That's cool. You know what? That is cool. And when you watch the clip too, he goes right to the highest number in that category. Ballsy move. I feel like people started doing it after that one dude.

Yeah. Like one, so yeah, he was winning a ton of money that way. Read his name. I wonder if it was like, was it toward the end of a round or no? He just did it because he was like, I was a sloppy boy. No, he had a fresh board and it said, I'm a sloppy boy's listener. I'm going whole hog. I want to dig up the episode and watch the rest of the,

I bet I could get that whole category. I sent that to my family on the family text thread and they thought it was great. They thought that was great. It is. It is great. Like usually, you know, we know people who are answers to those, fully a project they've done or been a character of,

they are the answer, but we just... That would be like, Tim, you going on Jeopardy, and then one of the categories is, Gremors and Linz. Like, I know this stuff. I'd be like, oof. I know Lin's pretty well, but I'm a little weak on Grammar's. I'm rusty on my

Grammar's. I remember there was a whole lot of Grammar's and a lot more Lin's, or was it the other way around? If you see a Grammar, you know you're getting Lin. Yeah, exactly. You know, I met Ken Jennings once Really?

You did I was backstage at a San Francisco Sketch Fest comedy show That they were holding in the big science center And he was on to... I think he was just doing... I don't know if he was going out there to tell jokes or what But he was there backstage Oh no, I think he was doing the show before us

And I said, oh, Ken Jennings, great And I'll tell you about my set i went into this this huge glassed glassed an area in the middle of the science center the science center is really cool in san francisco but it's a very echoey room a big crowd and uh people ahead of me were going they were getting some good laughs and stuff and then i went up and i told some of my jokes. And I didn't hear, you couldn't like hear anything in the room. It was one of those kind of just acoustically it was weird. So I couldn't tell if they were laughing. And I said, hey, can you guys hear me okay?

And somebody's like, yep. A little too well. So they could hear me. They just did not find me funny. They were not laughing at me. I disagree with them, Mike. You're a funny me. They just did not find me funny. They were not laughing at me. I disagree with him, Mike. You're a funny guy. I would have been laughing it up.

Thank you. Thank you. Charming, too, and handsome. Thank you. That's what a guy kept saying, too. I'm funny. I'm charming. I'm handsome.

And I met Ken Jennings. Hey, who's hosting Jeopardy now? Is he permanent? Michael Richards. That's a good question. I feel like I always see Ken Jennings and Blossom. Hey, who's hosting Jeopardy now? Is he permanent? Michael Richards. That's a good question. I feel like I always see Ken Jennings and Blossom doing it. Nah. You got to bring back the goat.

Animate him. Animate him. Jeff. Animate the goat. Come on. Speaking of hosts, here's a funny thing. Maybe I was chewing one of your ears off about this, but there's a show. Everyone knows on mtv they have ridiculousness ridiculousness hosted by rob but did you did you know there's another

show called deliciousness that is hosted by amber thesen and it's on it's on the same set tiffany amber thesen no tiffany tiffany thesen i i knew to leave out one of she's ditched one of the It's on the same set. Tiffany Amber Thiessen? No, Tiffany Thiessen. I knew she'll leave out one of... She's ditched one of the names. And I thought she ditched her first name, but no, she ditched her... Kelly. Kowalski.

Yes. So you're watching a bunch of ridiculousness, and then a new show comes on. Same set, same couch, same screen they're thrown into, but it's deliciousness and it's just food fails instead of all manner of fails. I feel like you've told me about this, but you weren't chewing my ear off. You weren't telling me too much.

So it wasn't like... I kind of stealthily sort of planted it. You're being coy about it. Insected it. Kind of teasing. You were like, look, I've been talking about this for a while, so I'm a little spent, but ridiculousness happened and there's deliciousness. Same as that. I've been going around town saying this while, so I'm a little spent, but ridiculousness happens. There's deliciousness.

I've been going around town saying this. So it's the same laptop? They save money on the laptop? Well, it's no longer a laptop. It's just kind of a cool set with a big screen up there. It doesn't walk on a laptop. That laptop, they would stand on it, right? Rob would, yeah.

The other guests weren't allowed. Probably getting that thing cleaned must have been a problem. Keeping it cleaned. Yeah, they had a giant can of canned air. Are you concerned that I called Kyle Daly Kyle Baker, and then I called Tiffany Thiessen Amber Thiessen? Do you think I'm going to get all the names wrong for the rest of the episode? Better not.

I hope not because you're introducing the drink, so hopefully there's... Well, I hope I don't, George and Joey. I mean, Mike and Jeff. Damn. Yeah, damn. George and Joey Trivia. He called me Joey,

the name I wanted my parents to change my name to when I was a kid. Really? I thought that would be a fun name for me. Like a little kangaroo cub, huh? Yep. Because I used to call myself the kangaroo kid around the house. Yeah?

Because I loved to hop everywhere. Yes. I had a hopping phase, didn't we all? So wait, hold on. Going back to deliciousness. Is it on MTV? Yeah, it'll be like you're watching a few hours of ridiculousness in

prime time and then it leads right into a couple episodes of deliciousness and then back to more ridiculousness. You gotta be watching close to even notice. They'll switch it on you. I thought I was watching I was watching Delish. Alright, I'm wrapping up Booze News.

Sure. Thank you. Anyone opposed? Nope. No. If you are, now's your chance. Okay, great. All right, Tim.

Tell us about the drink of the day. The drink of the day is the Martinez you've had. No. No. Have you ever had the urge to look at that word and say Martinez instead of Martinez? Because I feel like I've heard Martinez as well. Martinez is something. The same way you hear Caribbean and Caribbean.

Yeah, yeah. But isn't Martinez a brand of something? Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know. I feel like there's a Sublime song that's like, Martinez, M-M-Martinez. Anyway, for the purposes of the pod, I'm going to say Martinez, if that's cool with you guys.

I believe that's correct. You've not had, you've not heard? Both no. No. Okay, I have not had, but i've heard quite a bit because this drink famously comes up when people are trying to trace the origins of the martini oh i've seen like several little like martini documentaries and featurettes or blurbs and books or chapters and books where it's like you know before there was the dry martini

we know and love there was a drink out in martinez california up near san francisco and you know they say it was like during the gold rush the prospectors were coming down from the comstock load and they were looking to spend some of their gold nuggets. And there was this drink, a little brown cocktail. It was either invented by our boy Jerry Thomas when he was bartending at the Occidental Hotel or by a bartender by the name of Richelieu who worked at some saloon in Martinez. But people – this is gin. You know, it's got sweet red vermouth in a gin drink. So people think that the sweet red vermouth here eventually gave way to dry vermouth.

And then the martini was born, hence the name Martini Martinez. But others say, as Mike, I believe, told us in our 100th episode about the martini, a lot of people believe the martini was invented in New York, straight up a New York invention. And that the name doesn't come from Martinez, but comes from the brand of vermouth,

uh, martini and Rossi and Rossi. And that's, I believe that because I, you see that vermouth, uh, everywhere. And it did preexist the,

um, the martini either way um honestly in all my cocktail perusing other than that conversation nobody's talking about this drink i don't think anybody drinks this drink it's like it's like a little brown cocktail on a glass you know it's i guess it's a martini with with red vermouth but you could also say it's like a manhattan i mean it sounds a little fancy with red vermouth, but you could also say it's like a Manhattan. I mean, it sounds a little fancy for prospector times, doesn't it? Yeah, but they're rich with the gold. I got Tim's prospectors, Jeff, with a wagon barrel full of gold. Post cash in.

Yeah. Daniel Plainview. Thank you. There will be some i'm a gold man um but yeah it's it's also like the manhattan right because manhattan is uh ryan sweet red vermouth so you could either look at this as a martini with something swapped or a manhattan with something swapped either way i've never had this and I've only seen it on one or two menus, so we're going to give it a taste. It is an IBA cocktail, which is fantastic.

Great. Which, by the way, we're getting to the end of the IBA. We only have... Well, we've got a lot left, don't we? Well, but I mean, this year, this summer... 2022. This summer, we're going to finish, probably. So then we end the podcast?

What do we do? Yeah, we're done. No, no, we keep going. It's going to then we end the podcast? What do we do? Yeah, we're done. No, no, we keep going. It's going to be more in the summer because we will skip a bunch. I mean, not skip a bunch, but we will. Right, right. We'll get some weirdos. Well, we might skip a bunch as in like we're out on the sidewalk skipping around.

Yeah, because we're so excited we got to the end of the IPA. We're excited that we didn't skip any drinks. Now wait, here's's uh tim i was a little uh i got a little confused so what came first the martini or the martinez um the martinez pre-date so the gold rush is well the 49ers right 1849 so that is uh very early and i i feel like the martini is more early 1900s vibe right but so he so martinez came first but tim is doubting that it's in fact the namesake for the namesake yeah gotcha but i don't i've only i've only i'm only saying that because i've heard other i feel like i kind of you know we talked about like david wondrich tends to be the cocktail

historian who comes along and says like hey you know that thing everybody's saying well that's actually false and the true thing we don't know because he just kind of looks at dates that don't add up nice so he's it's good to have a guy like that but it's just not super fun to have a guy yeah yeah yeah so what's in this thing here's the iba you mentioned it yes it is bouge 45 milliliters of london dry gin that's an ounce and a half of dry gin i've got some old tom gin that'll be really old old time tangray over here i got some bee feeder i went out and got a new bee feeder that's nice i love my favorite now just as much of that, we're going to have well, 45 milliliters

of sweet red vermouth. I'm talking an ounce and a half. Oh, that's so much. Yeah, halves and halvesies. That's a lot. And then we're going to do one bar spoon of maraschino liqueur, like a Luxardo, which we've said is

it's a cherry liqueur, but it has the branches and leaves and sticks in there. So it's kind of stanky. It's going to taste very ashy and it comes in a wicker basket bottle. It tastes a little wickery, honestly. And it's most, I think of it as the taste of a Hemingway daiquiri. Okay. Sure. And then finally, two dashes of orange bitters, which you may have on hand from the Yule Mule.

Just a little. Yellow. I have a bottle of that. That's fun. Method. Pour all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Garnish. Lemon zest. zest yeah and you know what you might think you need two spoons you don't take that spoon from the luxardo maraschino that's your stirring spoon yep damn i forgot holy shit get the swizzler get the swizzler got the lemon zest that's optional that's option. That's optional. Good. It's good to have one guy who took the option. Yeah. Or didn't take the option. He didn't in this case.

I'm going to take the option, but I think our mission statement here is quite clear, guys. This is an ancient old drink that has not been revived, so we kind of get to be the tastemaker. A lot of times we're here saying, oh, yeah, the last word was dormant and then it came back. We're like three little Brendan Fraziers. Yeah. You know, I saw the whale. I feel like the drink is the Brendan Frazier and we're the studio executives. No, no, no. I was going for the Martinez is the mummy and we're the Brendan Fraziers.

Oh, mummy. I thought you meant the whale. Oh. But Jeff, it could also be Encino Man being dug up. Whoa. Okay. That's so interesting. This works a lot of ways.

In his career, he played the dug up and the digger. Yeah, the digger and the diggy. And then he himself was dug up. Was like, had a career revival. Crazy. Wow. That would be a good, if I was to write his book,

I would call it the dug up and the digger and the diggy. I don't think you're getting that job, Mike. Yeah, and then the cover would be him

covered in dirt. Yeah. Modern day covered in dirt. Half in the whale cut, like getting his makeup taken off the whale. Somebody

rushes in. Jeff, you rushed getting his makeup taken off the whale. Somebody rushes in. Jeff, you rush and dump this bucket on him. Tim, you take the picture. I'll distract him. So, Brendan, tell me more about your life. You don't have to distract the guy to take his own book cover photo, generally speaking. He doesn't want to do it, so we're doing it this way.

And now he's got a lot of that dirt and dust stuck in little parts of the... Of the latex. Yeah, yeah. Custom. Oh, God. Yeah. Mike, did you see The Whale? I saw it last week.

Yeah, I saw it too. Tim, did you see it? Oh, yeah, we saw it together. Yeah, well, I was going to say, Mike, you know how he's huge, so the way he has to stand up, he really struggles? Well, Jeff did a good bit at the end of that movie. Credits are rolling, and i stand up and then uh jeff goes well let's go went back and forth i lost my shit and you know what jeff remember

i bought pretzel bites and nachos got full put them under the chair for later and then forgot and walked off no it's like 30 i had fucking pretzel bites I had, I went to like Watch the language, but okay No, I didn't, I said dude You said fucking Did I say fucking? I didn't even notice Yeah, I had some pretzel dogs So they were like little cocktail pretzels

Wrapped in, cocktail hot dogs Wrapped in pretzel Oh, I love that And then I had tater tots with qu queso yeah it was a big and gummy worms it was a big night for me oh my that's what a feast i'll tell you what i went to uh last night i went to the way of the water avatar oh you finally saw it nice yeah i did at the imax in um hollywood and highland the the armpit that you don't want to go to, but a good screen. And here's the thing.

There's a Target a block away. So I got my snacks at the Target. Smart water, Sour Patch. Did I have a flask of whiskey? Yes. The Sloppy Boys flask. Yeah. Nice.

Guess how much the snacks were total? $100. $4. $ snacks were total? $100. $4. What? $4. $4. Get your stuff at Target. Get your snacks at Target.

$4 for snacks, a Sour Patch, and a water? Mm-hmm. Holy shit. That is a good deal down at Target. Smuggle that into the TCL Chinese Theater. That's a good theater. Mm-hmm. That's big.

How'd you like it, Jeff? It's pretty cool looking, right? It is. It's fun? I really, for the most part, really enjoyed it. They are... It's not a normal movie, though.

It's like James Cameron found a way to turn... He found a franchise where he just gets to make his own little planet Earths. Yeah. You know, they feel like science museum movies that also have an adventure in them yeah it's true and i guess the characters are more blue than science that's true that's true well all right you want to go make these drinks let's do it folks we'll see you right back here after the ads

and we're back martinez is in hand man i overfilled my teeny little glass and i didn't usually you do that and you reach down and sip. But I didn't want to do that because we have to do first sips on the pot. Right, right, right. So I would yield much for me. I dripped it all the way. Oh, Michael, you got a very small yield. Yeah, is yours to specs, Tim?

Or did you make a big one? Mine is to specs. I did 45, 45. But I have a tiny cocktail glass. Mike, you have a big cocktail glass and this is reminding me there's like i saw a punch article about how there's like a tiktok trend of like bartenders are catfishing you with your cocktail they're not filling up the lot you you can fit two martinis into one martini glass and it's kind of bullshit because it's like who cares about the glass size you're getting the same amount of shit

I'm getting catfished out here calm Neve not to mention his silver haired friend who is there are two different ones one in the movie and then in the TV show they swapped out the silver haired guy for a different one

oh what I love that. Ready? Okay. Looking good. Sips. Here you go. Yeah, baby. Ooh.

Okay. Hmm. Hmm. Curious. Aftertaste of oof. A little concoction, isn't it? Sure. Yes, yes.

Very curious. Definitely more of a Manhattan than a martini, eh, boys? Yeah. Like, it's got that whiskey-ish warmth for a gin drink. That must just be the Muth. The whiskey-ish warmth from a gin drink. That must just be the muth. The whiskey, the whiskey-ish warmth from a gin drink. I use

Martini and Rossi. What type of vermouth you guys got? Noali Pratt. Dolan. I like Dolan. What was the one I loved that's expensive? Carpano? Antigua Carpano. That's the good shit, but it's expensive. And vermouth also goes bad quickly

right yeah three months keep it in the fridge folks it goes very bad bad um yeah mine's probably bad but drinks not so bad no now the flavor if i were a prospector drinking this, I'm not covered in soot with my wheelbarrow and long beard drinking this. This is after I've got my Armani suit, and I'm cashed out. Because this is a fancy-tasting drink. It's not a rugged. Yeah. Ooh. No.

It's got a real feel to it. Yeah, real. I guess that's the uh i think that's the vermouth oh yeah maybe maraschino got some stank i put a little too much that's all right this is this is interesting i kind of wish there was a a cube in there to melt a little bit you know what i mean i always felt that way about um nwa i was like i wish there was a cube in there to melt a little bit you know what i mean i always felt that way about um nwa i was like i wish there was a cube in there hey wait a second there is yeah good good yes the perfect joke i was thinking about nwa when i was making this drink tim that's very funny to me really because i was cutting a lemon and thinking of express yourself.

Isn't that Badada? She also has, oh, she also. Express yourself. Yeah, yeah. She also does. You're thinking, express yourself and express yourself. It's very, very different. I wouldn't say it's very different. I wouldn't say very different is the way to describe that. I'd say, I'd say

the, I'd say the sentiment is very different. The sentiment is very different. You know, I was texting with my mom today. What's your favorite aspect of that? Yeah, the tradition. I was texting with my mom and she was saying, you know, I was thinking about your water episode. Did you guys mention

how ice cubes are water that can change a drink drastically? I said, Mom, we didn't, but damn it if we are pissed that we didn't. Pretty much any time I have a drink straight up and I don't like it, I have it on the rocks and then I like it. Yeah, Tim, didn't you mention that it dulls the taste if something is colder? It dulls your taste?

Cold things to everyone. It impedes the taste buds that's why you like a martini is like almost straight gin but when it's cold i mean ice also dilutes as well but let's let's be honest here yeah this is a wild drink i feel like uh i don't think my vermouth has gone bad i haven haven't had it for that long. I don't know, man. And it smelled like it's supposed to. This is like a good, normal drink that's not part of my purview. This isn't something that I would make if I didn't have a pod. But it's not bad.

Now, to get to the bottom of that feeling, Jeff, may I submit, let me ask you, is it because I feel like this is a drink i'm liking this but i feel like it's like hey that's a use for your vermouth and there's a lot of way you could use your vermouth use your ruth but a lot of time aren't you sort of just like well are we gonna be honest and when ask if anyone actually likes vermouth for what it is that's a good it's not dry or sweet red i couldn't i would never be able to drink it straight or just on its own on the rock like italian guys will just drink this stuff and it's nasty i'm not i'm not sure i like that idea but i do like it in uh you know when used well in a Negroni or something. Yeah, but it's such a less is more. Such a less is

more type deal. Also, I'm just learning, which is good to learn, you know, about yourself and the world around you. I like ice. I like limes. I don't like a little brown drink that is up and is grandfather-y.

Yeah, right, right, right. I get what you're saying. Something lighter. This feels like a heavy drink. Like, give me the bourbons and stuff like that on the rocks. Yeah. I was in Kingston, New York over the holidays, rolled into a tavern with some friends

and I said, hey, can I get a round of Manhattans? And all four of them came out on the rocks. Have you ever seen such a thing? No. It wasn't bad, but I thought it was a very strange assumption. Hey, can I have four Manhattans? Here you go.

On the rocks. My grandparents always used to make their Manhattans on the rocks. And I wonder if that's just like some people grew up thinking they were on the rocks. Yeah. No, but the cartoon Manhattan in your head is up. That's the assumption. That's the assumption. Now, do you guys go Manhattan or old-fashioned?

I think I know the answer to this. Old-fashioned. Yeah, of course. I don't really like the Manhattan. I like that Wisconsin, the brandy old-fashioned, the best of all, brandy old-fashioned sweet. Oh, yeah. Timmy. like that wisconsin the brandy old fashion the best of all brandy old fashion suite oh yeah timmy um you know what i thought about just now you said you went into a tavern we've all been to

bars we've been to pubs we've been to lounges i would love to at one point in this podcast we're not gonna do it now because we're not gonna look it up but get all the what a difference between a pub and a tavern and a bar is all. I think tavern or I think pub, I think low ceilings. Mm-hmm. You think sort of the tin ceiling that come on in and get to know me better. And then you go to a tavern

and it's like, hey, we got the beers and come on and get to know me a little bit. And a bar, you come in and you get to know me. And what about a lounge? You get to know me. A lounge and you get to know me. Get to know me. And what about a lounge? You get to know me. A lounge. You get to know me just a little bit.

I only use the word tavern. You get to know me on the dance floor. Michael. Doomsa, doomsa. Come to the club. I very rarely would just say tavern like that, but I chose the word here tonight because the place was, it had tavern in the title. It was the Front Street Tavern. So I was like, yeah, we're in a tavern like that but i chose the word here tonight because the place was it had tavern in the title

it was the front street tavern so i was like yeah we had a tavern it wasn't especially taverny but it was sort of like they were serving fish and chips but just which you would call pub that's a tavern well you know in like england and stuff you go to a pub and it's like uh on sundays they'll just have like a roast going and you can have some of the roast and the stew and stuff. That's cool. It's like when we went to Maeve's Residuals in L.A. and we found the lamb stew in the back. We ate it, and we shit our brains out.

Well, hold on, hold on. It was corned beef and cabbage. Don't make them look bad because it was St. Pat's, and they, being a great institution in the neighborhood, made a St. Pat's lunch, corned beef and cabbage. Yeah, like early now. A normal lunchtime. A normal lunchtime.

Now, when did we eat this, Jeff? You're saying past lunch? Yeah, this would be late night. 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock in the early hours. You found the dishes. But we put the corned beef and cabbage in pint glasses. In a pint glass,

and we carried it home eating out of the pint glass. Ah, yes. And we got sick from that. Yeah, sick from that. Yes. You know, because the meat had been out for hours. We were quite ill on that day. Right, right. That makes sense. And the cabbage, I can't imagine, is too good after a while.

That's going to make you sick even if it's fresh. I read a book called 10 Restaurants That Changed America, I think. Mickey D's, Wendy's, Burger King. The Big Orange Hat. It's pretty crazy how recent the idea of a restaurant is. Guess when the first restaurant restaurant was what year like 100 years 120 years ago and where i'm gonna say restaurant i'm gonna say like zero zero year

zero i think it's like the oldest thing ever in bethlehem um no no no no the here's the thing there were i thought of this because of tavern but there were like inns right where it's more of a hotel with a pub and i'm staying at the like typically i would eat at home with my family but i'm staying at this inn so i'll have that existed for a long time but a restaurant that on a normal night that a person would just go eat food pay and leave it didn't happen until the 1800s in New York. Isn't that insane? Jeez. And Delmonico's,

the namesake of the Delmonico steak, and they invented the baked Alaska and a bunch of dishes. That is a descendant of the Delmonico's was the first restaurant. Jeez Louise. Wow. You serious? Yeah, dude.

That's funny. I used to talk about this thing and do a stand-up set. It's kind of a dumb... There was really no joke to it anyway, so I don't really do it anymore. But I was walking down the street and I passed some people talking and I heard this one guy go, you know, in the old days, there were no restaurants. And I used to make fun of that guy. But he was right, apparently.

Maybe it was you. Well, you always knew. I mean, in the old enough days, of course, you were going to be nowhere. I mean, if you said, hey, the old days, back when the Big Bang happened, there were no restaurants. Well, right. The joke to me was like, what old days? Like the caveman days?

There's always restaurants. I made a joke that I go beat them up. You ever beat me up, dude? I am quite litigious, and you'll be hearing from Jacob Amrani. I could, though. I could beat you both up, given enough prep time and training. No, I can't. You hire a couple guys that look like us, and you train on them for months.

Hey, you! I'm sick of it, Jeff. And you too, Tim. I'm sick of it, Tim. All right. What would you change? I'm sick of it, Jeff. And you too, Tim. I'm sick of it, Tim. All right. What would you change? Would you change anything?

It's hard to say what to change. I don't know. Because you're like. This is what it is. I mean, I guess you could do it on the rocks, but it's all about how much mousse you want to taste. I might dial down in round two, roll back the vermouth a little bit, and amp up the gin just a little bit. You know what I got to say? Usually I like bitters, orange bitters especially,

or orange taste. I feel like the orange really isn't working with this. Every time I take a sip, I'm like, ooh. You can taste it, but it's not working. I think so. Or you, I'm like, ooh. You can taste it, but it's not working. I think so. Or you just don't like the taste. I have a feeling. I feel like we're all just drinking. We're all just tasting our respective vermouths. Yeah,

that could be it, too. It's too much vermouth. Okay. Well, folks, we're going to do round two. When we come back, final thoughts. I love that for us. And we're back! I didn't tweak mine. Me neither. I'm still going on mine.

It's not a glugger over here. Not a glugger. Sipper. The Hanford household. Yeah, I've also I feel a nice enough buzz already that I didn't need a second round. I'm also sort of a light drinker. Yeah, sure. This one gives you a buzz, but it also is a little woody. No, it's not.

It's like a Toy Story short. Yes, there is wood in there, Tim. There's the cherry bark. It's a Pixar short featuring No, it's a light year. Featuring the cast of Toy Story. Like Bo Peep to the rescue or something like that.

Or like Mr. Potato Head loses his nose. Yeah, his fucking nose. My final thought is It's an order again. Oh, Jeff. A defeated, reluctant with a heavy sigh it's fine it's not my it's not my particular taste but it's a good drink how does it stack up against the manhattan jay uh better than the manhattan we had on the show. But I didn't particularly like that.

That one's due for a retrial. We've said this before. This one to me is a Skipper Bill. Next. Thank you, next. Wow. Next. Named for my grandfather, rest in peace, Skipper Bill.

I think it barely squeaks in as an order again because i because i i don't think this is a bad cocktail so i would order again i'm just struggling to figure out why i wouldn't get a manhattan i agree when i make manhattans are bad but i've had some good manhattans in my life out at bars so but i guess i am more of a gin guy than a whiskey guy big picture so really yeah so i would say that here's my final word is when you're not in the mood for that bitey bitey rye then a martinez you should try ah nice this is an organ for me if i'm at a bar and they're like uh look the only ingredients we have are gin red vermouth orange bitters and luxardo okay fine fine make me something like that it's funny though because isn't this weird

just knowing that when you look at this drink you're like um there's what four ingredients that when you look at this drink, you're like, there's what, four ingredients? If you hold three of the ingredients and just have gin and you put it in the mixing glass with those cubes, you stir it up and you pour it and you have a bone dry martini, that's a

delicious drink that we all love. That's so weird. So you've only just added three things that make it a little worse, a little worse, a little worse. And then terrible. Now, here's my question for you guys. You guys have heard of the Martinez, of course, but have you heard of the Martinez Quiz?

Wow! Oh, it's happening right now, right before your very eyes. This is the Martinez Quiz, and you all know how this goes. Unless otherwise stated, it's a blurter. Okay. You got it. It's a blurt fest. Great.

I can only give you a little pen so I can write down the scores, because I know you guys are going to get some of these. I should hope that between the two of us, we get some of them. All of them, I hope. Okay, here we go. Number one. With what team did pitcher Pedro Martinez win a World Series?

Expos. Yankees. No. You said Expos? Yeah. Expos have been a team... 2004. Mets.

Can we just keep guessing? Dodgers. You just gotta keep guessing. Rocky. We were in. You remember it was a big deal. They hadn't won in a long, long time. Red Sox, folks.

Boston Red Sox. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That's my home team. Jeff, that's your home team. I skipped them. I skipped them. I have a feeling. The pitcher.

Did Pedro Martinez never play for the Expos? I don't know. He never play for the Expos? I don't know. He never did? He was probably in kindergarten. Yeah, maybe. Anyway, let's move on. Expos have a good logo. Give me that. They do.

They do. I used to hear Newsman A. Martinez on what Los Angeles non-profit radio station? KCRW. Nope. KXLU. KMUR.

Nope. You got the K right. KLOS. KTLA. Nope. KTLA. What was the first one you said, Tim? It may have been that because I think there's like a bunch of...

KCRW? Yeah, but that's not the one I'm looking for. That's radio. KXLU. KLOS. It's a radio station. KPCC. That's right, Timmy.

KPCC. It's one notch down below. If you're going down to the bottom of the dial and you're like, should I stop at KCRW? No, I'm going... Oh, we're getting too low. We got to pull up. It gets more and more public radio down there. All the way rock bottom, you're getting just classical music 24-7.

Yeah, you're getting the guy in the car next to you. It's that public. I still do donate $10 a month to them and i didn't really realize it i got a phone call from they were doing with their pledge drives and i got a call from the lady and she was like yeah we're doing our pledge and would you like to keep donating i was like oh geez i'm still doing i'm doing 10 a month she's like oh that's good would you like to up it i was like i don't even live in that state anymore she's like oh and you still do this i was like yeah i probably shouldn't but i'll let it go number three next question martinez california was the birthplace

of this baseball slugger and husband of norma jean mortensen joe dimaggio joe dimaggio oh jeffy i heard first on that one oh i i said before i heard jeff say it, so, so, so. So, nothing. Next question. Norma Jean, we all know, is Marilyn Monroe. Next question. The song Candle in the Wind, a song about Marilyn Monroe, was released... Oh, this is the one I want to say.

I'm going to say the question. You each get one guess. Okay. 1973. Okay. What year was the... Yes, the end of the question. Each get a guess.

The closest is the correctest. Okay. Tim says 1973. Can you say the whole thing? Yeah. Basically, when did the song, The Candle in the Wind... Quit fucking around. When did the song...

Is it like you can't go over? Nope. Just who got closest. I thought we were talking about tiny dancer candle in the wind uh how do i got kind of in the wind 79 oh tim is closer with it's 74. Damn. 74. Elton John. Marilyn Monroe.

He never knew her, but he sang a song about her anyway. Here we go. Next question. The Martinez cocktail calls for one bar spoon of Marasino liquor, but the band spoon has one song that I am familiar with. What is the name of that song? Underdog? Turn my camera on. Cherry Bomb.

Nope. That's right, Cherry Bomb. The correct title is You Got Your Cherry Bomb, but I thought it was just Cherry Bomb anyway. You know those other songs. I thought it was You Got Your Underdog. Yeah. Cherry Bomb, I know.

Underdog, I probably know too, but Cherry Bomb. No, no, Underdog is fake. That was me trying to think. I knew it was like Cherry Bomb, I know. Underdog, I probably know too, but Cherry Bomb... No, no. Underdog is fake. That was me trying to... I knew it was like Cherry Bomb. No, Underdog is a spoon song. Is it? Is it Underdog in the Cherry Bomb song?

That's that song that goes... That's Cherry Bomb. No. Wait, really? You got no time for the underdog. The underdog. That's why you won't survive. I know two songs.

Wait a second. You both get a point. No, wait, wait, wait. Because I'm the one who said both of the songs. Yeah, and he definitely doesn't get two points, right, Mike? But Tim said underdog. I'm sorry. Jeff said underdog.

No, I said turn my camera on. Oh, and Tim said underdog I'm sorry Jeff said underdog I said turn my camera on oh and Tim said underdog guys I can't believe you got no love for the underdog and you got your cherry bomb that's insane that they have both hold on I'm looking it up underground?

you got no love for the underground you got no fear of the underground fear of the underdog. Underdog. It's underdog. It's underdog. You got no fear that the cherry bomb. Wait a minute.

Okay, right here locally, I only have underdog, but they do have a song called Cherry Bomb. Wait, we're having like Mandela effect here, because now you've proven to. Yeah, you got your cherry. I did look that one up. You got your cherry bomb. You got your cherry bomb. You got no fear of the underdog. No. I did look that one up You Got Your Cherry Bomb You Got Your Cherry Bomb You Got No Fear of the Underdog No? Oh yeah

You Got Your Cherry Bomb is a song Yeah but what about Underdog It's on the same album What the fuck These guys gotta write different songs man Yeah let's talk to them Alright let's move on for now. Okay.

Martinez is a Spanish surname meaning son of blank. Martin. That's right, Jeff. Son of Martin. Now, I looked this up too. Martin comes from the Latin Martinus, a derivative of Mars, the Roman god of fertility and war.

Oh, I thought it was Martin the Simpsons character. Oh, interesting. I just recently watched and found funny some YouTube clips of this early 2000 Martin Short character. Bowfinger. YouTube clips of this early Martin Short character. Oh, shit. God damn it. Keep guessing, Jeff.

Jiminy Glick. Jiminy Glick. It was the guy. Really? He's that recent? I know. He had a movie in 2004, I think. Wait, maybe that's...

The fuck? Yeah. Maybe I'm confusing the 2004 from the Pedro Martinez World Series. I forget when that happened. Moving on. From the Pedro Martinez World Series. I forget when that happened. Moving on.

He told a group of teens in a particular situation that they were not ready, but their kids are going to love it. Michael J. Fox, Marty McFly. Marty McFly, Martin McFly for the Jeffy. Very particular situation he had with this. It was with the time travel. Okay, It is now five to three and we're coming upon our last

question. I have three, right? You have three. Fuck. This is a two-point question and there is a tiebreaker. So if you tie Jeff, there's a tiebreaker, but if Tim gets it, he'll just get the two points and win seven to three.

Okay. I need a first and last name. This recurring character is a friend of Let me try that again. This recurring character is a friend and classmate of Bart Simpson and Lisa's rival of intelligence.

This recurring character is a friend and classmate of Bart Simpson. Oh, and rivals Lisa's intelligence. That was my mistake reading that. Sorry. I don't know the full name. Milos? The full name. First and last name.

Martin Lupinski. Martin Star. Martin Dink Martin Shelbyville No No Is it one syllable? Yes

Martin Martin Think of his last name is a contemporary of Michael Jackson. Martin Prince. Martin Prince. Prince. Jeffy got it to tie it up.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn. Okay, here we go. This is the tiebreaker. I'm glad I dug this up. What is Martin Prince's age? Eight. Nine. Nine.

Nine. Ten. Seven. And Jeff. Tim went backwards and Jeff kept going up the ladder. Mike, you were holding dead still. You were being quiet, but also wouldn't move a muscle.

Because I'm not looking At the screen when I'm Cause I got the other thing Jeff you won Oh yeah I can't believe it Honestly You pulled it out of your ass

That's nice I appreciate it I needed a W Yeah I feel like you say that a lot And we've been hearing that a lot I think you've been winning In these a lot lately

No only Only lately Oh alright alright Whew That was a good episode, huh? Real good. Yeah, really good. I'm going to wrap it up, though, unfortunately. There was one thing I wanted to show you guys. This is just kind of like

a cool show and tell thing. I was going to do it during Booze News, but I don't know if it's news per se. You remember our post office box? Yes. We actually got a piece of weird piece of mail to our post office box but here's the thing if you recall we didn't give out the address to our post office box oh kind of creepy

right that is creepy yeah let's see what's in here oh it's it's like this. It's like a letter. It's a letter? And someone managed to get it to us, even though we never gave it the post office box number. It's kind of beat up looking, and it kind of looks like a ransom note or something here.

We'll see if maybe you guys can read it. A wicked cackle short of breath. Bravo to Mike and Tim and Jeff. This is exciting. The IBA is near complete. That's not really true, but... Not true anymore. But I've devised another feat.

Oh, no. Let's see how the Sloppies fare when mystery is in the air. No research ahead of time. Next week, the boys will go in blind. Me trickster. Oh, the trickster. Signed the trickster.

It's like it's been signed in scrawly handwriting. The trickster. The trickster signed that. Yeah, I like... So the main lettering of the note was not quite as scrawly as the signature. Yeah. The trickster is... We're going in blind?

Wait, hold on a second. What happened here? So the trickster somehow got our address. Yeah. And do we know the trickster? Don't ask me. I know about as much as you. He. And do we know the trickster? Don't ask me. I know about as much as you. He sounds like some sort of...

Yeah, you don't know anything. He's almost like a Gotham-esque, villain-esque kind of a guy. How so? No, I take it back. He's not. This is probably a completely original kind of guy. Yeah, he's a whole new unique guy, and we shouldn't judge him before we meet him.

Now, so next main or next blowout we're going into? I mean, judging by this letter, I think that the next main, we are going to go in blind, and we're not going to know what drink it is until we press record. That's so freaky to me. I hope we meet the trickster, and I hope he's got a funny voice.

I hope so, too. I hope he maintains the voice the whole time. Yeah, well, if we even meet him, I don't know. Okay. God, the trickster's really got me beseeched. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a little worried. This is all very crazy.

Yeah, it's unusual. Are you beseeched? It's exciting. Kind of spooky. I'm terrified, and I'm going to see you guys out in L.A. for the next one. Oh, that's convenient. That's good. I hadn't thought of that.

That's perfect for the trickster's purposes. Yes, that's actually good. How does the trickster know our P.O. box and my schedule? He seems to know our every move. Two moves ahead of us. Ooh, the trickster. Yes. Tricking everyone.

Sounds pretty good. Why don't we meet back here same time next week, folks? If it is even the same time next week, who knows what the trickster will have in store for us. Goodbye, folks.

Goodbye, everyone. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys