The Sloppy Boys - 124. Borg

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

The guys make the super-hydrating drink that's taking college campuses by storm-- the "black out rage gallon." BORG RECIPE1 gallon jug of Water750mL Vodkaa few squirts of MiOPour out (or drink) half the gallon of water. Fill the remainder with vodka. Add several servings of MiO, Liquid IV Hydration Enhancer, or your preferred flavoring. Give your Borg a name and label it in permanent marker.Recipe via TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Jeff, how are you feeling? Shitty. And Tim Kalpakis? What is up with Jeff's health? I'm fine. Shitty. And Tim Kalpakis? What is up with Jeff's health?

I'm fine. This is our second attempt to record a Borg podcast episode. We had a false start, didn't we? Should we open this episode with our false attempt and then go... Yeah, I was thinking, like, do we just go clean into it or do we tee it up? I don't even know if something can be packaged out of it. I know, I know. Because a lot of it is just like, we don't know what we're doing. It was tech problems also. Yeah, that's true.

We'll just explain that two days ago, I, from my point of view, here I am, sunny California. I say, this is going to be a fun episode. I'm going to is going to be a fun episode. I'm going to hop on to my podcast, my Zencaster pod. And we've been looking forward to doing this buzzy college drink.

Plus, Jeff is in New York. Jeff, who we razzed for never to go to New York, was in New York doing some work stuff. I got him. I got him in my grips. I think I'm going to hop on to my computer and I'm going to see my boys partying, having a blast in New York. Yep. Having a good time.

And from my POV, we hop on there. I see Mike. Oh, sure. I see Mike just fine. I'm having a great time. And then I see an empty Zoom screen whereff should be sitting also in mike's apartment and in the distance i hear no you heard that you heard all that i heard that it's it was when then jeff came onto the

screen and he looked uh gray he has his skin color was gray. Actually, Jeff, Tim, you bring up a good point. Jeff, could you play my Booze News 1 theme, please? Oh, sure. Just so the audience gets a sense of what was kind of going on. Ooh. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ooh. Ha ha ha! Do not like. It was... it was violent okay if you don't want it we don't have to well you jeff is jeff well you lived you lived to tell the tale so that's good look let me take you back sort of like i'm getting off the plane couldn't be happier to be in New York City. Sunny New York. The night I get in, Hanford and I go out.

We go to Franklin Park. We get some burgers and beers. We go to Superpower, this tiki bar we found. Great time. That was great, yeah. Oh, Jeff stole a bunch of little swizzle sticks that were kind of... Coasters and swizzle sticks. Swizzle sticks that were cut into shapes of like a flamingo, a palm tree,

and he left them here. I see them. No, really? They're in my collection now. Tim, this is the sort of place you walk in and all of the little accoutrements are so nice. And they're all just right on the bar. So every time the bartender looked away, I would go, yoink, yoink, yoink, yoink. Love it.

And just fill my pockets with coasters and all that good stuff. Fun stuff. Just fill my pockets with coasters and all that good stuff. Fun stuff. So then Hanford and I go back and we watch Leprechaun, which we're discussing on the blowout this week. I feel great. As we're getting into the St. Patrick's month. And as I lay on the futon, I think, what a town.

I get the appeal, Mike. I wake up, I go to my work thing, and towards the end of the day, or during this work thing, this sound mixer fellow is a cigarette smoker. You know the type. Yeah. New Yorkers. Smoking cigarettes.

It is notable, though. I would say that people in California don't smoke. It's shocking. Oh, they smoke, Tim, but it's the green stuff. It's the green stuff. Those Californians are high all the time. But, you know, this guy's sitting there and says, hey, I'm going to step out. You want to come?

And I said, sure. Sure, I'll come. I'll try a cigarette. So, you know, I have a little cigarette. I say, okay, that's good. We'll go back to work. And then what's more, half an hour later, an hour later, we'll step out for another one. As the day goes on, the cigarettes start to pile up.

We order some Thai food, and he vouches for this place. And I think, oh, I'm starting to feel a little sick. Now, let me guess, Jeff, I've eaten Thai food with you. I bet you got the Panang curry. The Panang curry that we've gotten is stellar. Here I went for the pineapple fried rice plus chicken. Okay. Doesn't seem like much could go wrong there, if you ask me.

No, fine. I don't know what's to blame. All I know is, towards the end of my work, I'm getting a little queasy, and I start hot-footing it back to Hanford's. I get there, we start getting ready to pot up, and then before we can do it... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Jeff says, I'm feeling a little bad what happened i had some cigarettes okay

i don't think it was that i don't think so either now no but in the moment this is this was the information i was met with when i hopped on it was like oh i think jeff smoked some cigarettes and i was like damn he's really r. But I know this. You know, I told you guys in college, I put a whole can of dip in my lip and I passed. I felt. Yeah. Yeah. It can make it. It can make it really easy.

Queasy. Well, the queasy. Tim, you have saved my life in the past from food poisoning. So, yeah. I'm a beloved restaurant. And I do. Yeah. I remember arriving, seeing you with a gray face,

and I took you to the emergency room. And you were not, when I saw you on the Zoom screen, you were not yet gray, but you certainly got there over the course of the night, didn't you? Yeah. It was like nonstop. Like, we then started watching Last of Us. So we ditched the idea of doing the podcast, obviously.

So then we started watching Last of Us. It's going great i'm having fun jeff's kind of going and thinking once you puke in a lot of cases if it's booze or something you puke and you feel better right yeah don't you feel better if you puke like 90 of the time right uh this was not the case it was like steadily getting worse um continue michael yeah you got up like four of like probably like four or five times to puke, and then you came out and you're like, I think we got to go to urgent care.

I said, okay, I know exactly the place. It's very close. It was closed for the night, so we got to go to emergency room, which is a, it's a scene there, man. The emergency room is no joke. You called an Uber, which, before we got in the Uber, I like put my finger up i was like

one second and then just like puked on the sidewalk a good handful of times and thought there's no way this guy is taking me yeah i got in the uber and was like he's i was like hold on we got one more guy coming and he's like we're sitting there for me he's like is he coming i was like yeah that's him puking out there he's gonna going to be fine. You know he's going to be fine. What do you mean he's going to be fine? Do you have to prove that he's going to be fine? As we're hearing, he's like, wah! The Wario puke. So I get in there, and I am a risk in this car.

But he doesn't know it. He's hitting every single bump, too. Oh, every single bump, every single stoplight, all the way to this fucking, what is it, Presbyian hospital yeah which is perfect because that's your religion so you you should always go yeah and if it wasn't i would have refused yeah so we get in there and then uh you got to wait a little bit you know you can't just go right in i think uh tim when you took me in that time it was right right in. Glendale Memorial. Yeah, and the IV bag or whatever they gave me worked immediately.

I could feel myself regaining power in like 15 minutes. It's really not fair to compare because you're talking about this is where you got the Kelpakis treatment. He came in as a friend of mine. Oh, my God, Mr. Kelpakis is your friend? Please. Yeah, the Hanford treatment is we show up and the driver's like, is this it? I was like, yep, right here. And what I thought was the emergency room entrance was not it.

So then we have to walk like half a block. And then that door is locked. So we have to go back to where he just dropped us off. So that's where, that's how. Oh, plus during that walk, it sounded a little something like this. Jeff, you want to play clip two? Oh boy. This is out on the street now.

Whoa, this guy's yelling, man. But like nothing was coming out except for thick, dry, deep and dark. It was crazy. And we get into the emergency waiting room area and sign in. And just like Jeff keeps making these trips to the bathroom to puke. Or has the bag. Oh, not just puke. Not just puke. Well, I wanted to keep it.

Keep it. We're talking about the other end? What the hell? Sneezing. He's sneezing a lot, too. And he's got one of those puke bags. And it was crazy because just sitting in the waiting area, he's like and everyone around some people would kind of like look over you're puking that loud as loud as you were in the street yeah yes wow but like no one can really do anything because it's like

you're signed in you're at the place that yeah you're gonna get taken care of so like it's just so strange to see people like walk by and look at him and be like, well, we'll get to him later. But when you're in school, when you're in, like, grade school and someone pukes, it's like, wow, that person's going home for the day. Sure. And it takes, like, a while to settle down the class after what just happened. Here it was just, like, nobody flinches. So we're there in the waiting room, 10 minutes pass, 20 minutes pass, and I'm starting it like lightheaded and I'm going to the bathroom more. I'm just like, nothing's coming up.

It's just like, I feel I'm like losing consciousness here. And I'm kind of like, kind of like fighting to stay upright. And at one point I was just like, why am I fighting to stay upright? Give in and just make them take care of you. And I like fell on my side. Jeff fainted, like just passed out basically. And then I was like, can we take him in now? And they're like, sure.

Good. That's smart. Okay. that's what i should have done immediately and then like they put him in chair and we went back into like the real you know main area and it's like oh you walk through those doors and it's no rooms available we just heard just like lines of beds uh like in the hallway and stuff and like people wandering around who need treatment it was just like and the big thing too was like, remember, like the big thing was like he passed out. Oh, this is the guy who passed out? Yeah, we need to put him somewhere because he passed out. So that was like, that was Jeff's tag for the whole thing.

And I was right there. You can just go into the emergency room area if you're with somebody and be in everyone's way. And everyone was like moving around me and be like, excuse me, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I'm in the way. i'm so sorry and i was like i'm in the way i don't know where to stand sorry mr hanford yeah these are people with degrees and i'm like i've noticed that you could just if you go in with someone they'll let you just stand

right there and yeah nobody's like who are you i'm his legal guardian that's who i'm the only one who gives a shit around here it It seems. Give me that scalpel. I'm going in. I'm going in on you. You son of a bitch. You stabbed the doctor. Wow. Mike.

It was just so funny from my point of view. Like my first thought when I heard you puking, Jeff, because even before Mike didn't say anything and I heard the puking happen when I was looking at your empty zoom screen, the puking, my first thought i was like logging in to do the borg episode and i was like no are they drunk already they're having too much fun in new york at 8 p.m they're barfing oh god then i heard how violent it was and it wasn't It was like, so Jeff got some fluid bags and some, some shots, some, what was it like? Yeah, I had like three different anti-nausea shots because it was just like spinning the

whole time and, and an IV and a half. And then Mike, you, I can't believe you were there with me from, when did we get there? 9 PM, 9 30. It was like 10, I think. Until like, I want to say like 3.30 in the morning. 10 to 3.30. Well, I don't think I would have like, because you were like at one point like, oh, you can go home. And I was like, no, you don't know where you are.

If you were in LA, I would have been like, yeah, maybe you can hang out the last hour by yourself. But like, you didn't know where you were. No, well well thank you you did great thank you for giving me the story um did you like when i've had food i've never had to go to the hospital for it but i had food poisoning once and i it was 24 hours and then the the clouds cleared and i was totally fine how did did you get out of it? The meds they gave you just worked? Well, I wish I could say, I mean, folks listening at home,

this is not something I've come across regularly. It just so happens that Tim is the only other guy who's helped me out in this situation. That was like seven years ago. That time, the earlier time, it did feel like night and day. That time, the earlier time, it did feel like night and day. This one, I woke up on Hanford's futon feeling kind of like just beat up. Mastermind. It's a sofa that comes down.

It's not a futon. Oh, okay, yeah. The back of the sofa bends down. The back of the sofa. Hey, you're sitting on it right now. Flops back. It's a sofa, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's a couch.

It felt like I had like... L-shaped couch. Like pulled muscles in my back and in my stomach, and I was just like sore and crampy. And cranky. And I remain a little sore and crampy, but I feel a lot better. You're back in LA, and you're in your spot, and you're the picture of health.

You look still gray, but the color will come back. You do look pretty gray. Like the gray ET, like the chalky little ET. When the nurse was accepting you into the ER room, hooking you up with a glucose bag, she was asking you all the questions. Like, do you smoke? You're like, no, I did today.

I took a couple cigarettes today. She's like, do you drink? You were rolling over in pain. You're like like not heavily and you started you started to answer questions with like just like trying not to throw up so you sounded like you were she's like um when you were you know uh i don't know how long you've been in town two Two days? And her voice got a little testy, too, because she thought you were yelling at her like, don't you know this stuff? Oh, oh, oh. Because it just came across.

But you were holding back puke. Yeah, at one point she said, I'm just asking you. Oh, my God. She's like, I don't care. Just answer the question. And I was like, I am. I am. Like the idea that you were getting mad at her.

These are personal questions. Not heavily. When she asked you about if you drink, you should have said, I host the podcast that takes a deep dive into the drinks that you love. And also not heavily is very funny. Third best comedy podcast. Saying not heavily when you did have, you know, you've had sidewalk slammers this year. Like, well, we were going to drink the Borg.

Well, we canceled the Borg, lady, okay? That's a pretty big drink. What more do you want from me? I didn't have my Borg. There was a lady next to Jeff's bed that was, she was looking at me and I was holding Jeff's coat. And after a while, I was like, oh, I'm going to tie it around my my waist and she already had a coat on yeah she looked at me it was like ah yes tied around your waist and she thought it was funny that i was wearing a lot of colorful characters there one guy talked to himself the entire time and had um not handcuffs

foot cuffs on yeah he was he was handcuffed to a bed, too. Really? Yeah. He was so jovial. Yeah, but that was more of a kink thing. Man. Well, I'm back. I'm feeling better. I'm ready to board.

Yeah, baby. You're back out there, folks. Be careful when you are eating food. Oh, one thing somebody brought up, have you guys heard of norovirus? Like there's a stomach bug going around. But I mean, I was in the ER and they never said anything about that. And they took all my vitals.

They would have been the first to tell me. Did you ever find out how you paid? Did you pay? No. At the end, you got that paperwork and we just like walked out. Mike, it's still a mystery and I hope it remains a mystery. Who pays for this stuff? I don't know.

When I walked in, I had no energy. I was just trying to get my ID, my debit card, and my insurance card down. I was just going to plunk them on the table. And she saw me coming and just said, just ID. And there you go. You never showed your insurance? No, just JD. Oh.

Was it an urgent care or an ER? ER. The urgent cares were closed. This was er yeah like the tv but like how could it how does it swing that wildly from a possibly free er visit for the jay man to every once in a while you hear somebody gets an ambulance and it costs them fifteen thousand dollars i'll cover it don't worry worry about it. It's coming. It's coming, Jeff. It's coming. Maybe you just got to pay it forward. You might get a mystery bill. It happens. Hey, yo. Well, that's what the doctor, right before we left, she's like, hey, come here.

I was like, oh yeah, does he need anything special? She's like, just make sure he pays it forward. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, Mike, I want to know about the toilet, the bathroom situation. After what happened in there, did you disinfect? What did you do? No, Jeff did a pretty good job of wiping down, I think.

Did you wipe down? I gave a cursory spritz and wipe to the old danger zone. I did lift up the lid, though, and there was red on it. And I was like, Jesus Christ, is this blood? And then I was like, oh, no, he was drinking red Gatorade. Splashing all over the place. Nasty. Nasty.

Nasty dude, Jeff, the way you behave. Yeah, Jeff, you think that's being a good house guest? Your friend Mike opens his apartment to you. You're in New York. You save money in a hotel. This is how you repay him? Puking. Puking. I York. You save money on a hotel. This is how you repay him? Jesus. Puking.

Shitting and puking. You repay him with shitting and puking? Cigarette smoking when I'm not around. All right. I can't believe, when I come to your house, yes, I may have inferred you should have made me hash browns

with breakfast once. I had to get you back. So then you get back, you interrupt me watching Last of Us, a show you know I'm already teetering on. Mid first act, I have to go take you to the hospital? Yeah.

Jeff, you know that Mike is teetering on a show. Give him some space. Let him decide. Don't interrupt. I should have brought my laptop to the hospital to watch. Yeah. Well, do we get into some booze news and get on with it?

And leave all that puke talk behind. Yeah. Puke is done. Yeah, puke's over. Booze news, hit it. Awful. All they care about is the green, green paper. Green, green money machine.

Yes. Green, green money machine. This is not a green, green money machine. Our music is not a green, green money machine at all. It's booze news, green money machine at all. It's Booze News, you 100 geckos. Ooh, nice. Ooh, 100 sloppy gecks was sent to us by Evan Cohen.

And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Hey, the new gecks album is coming soon, real soon. Ooh, nice. Real soon real soon oh yeah real soon 10 000 when did we say green green money machine that much during that was early that was way early on how do people find that was that in the same episode or speckled throughout the series no no i think it was one where we stumbled onto that phrase and we wore it out but it was like that's probably in the first like 10 episodes but a mate a main or a oh okay so that would remain gex okay uh just a little quick hitter of booze news this is just a booze news update do you guys recall a couple weeks ago on booze news we talked about green tea shots yes we had not had and but we i had read an article saying kind

of a stupid article that was saying it's like a gen z or a thing you don't have to editorialize it was saying that it was a millennial thing in the gen z thought it was too it was it was already editorialized really the article just said of should have said there is a drink called green tea shots um yeah and what's the angle it's uh jameson peach schnapps sweet and sour mix i forgot to mention seven up as well and you mix those all together in a shot it's supposed to create a green tea uh taste and some slop heads reached out uh people who subscribe to our patreon are on our discord and they they were saying that they've had

them and they like them and that it does taste like green tea but i got a text from uh you guys know that we're a band and we go on tour right you guys know this we know more than anyone we know that sure and we work we have a spring tour coming up it's it's like fucking new orleans and nashville and memphis and atlanta and Atlanta and Grand Rapids and Davenport and Milwaukee. All these places and more if you go to our socials and follow the Lincoln bio. Love that. Wow. But when we tour, we tour with this great indie rock band, Dear Blanca from Columbia, South Carolina.

And our friend Cam plays bass in Dear Blanca. He owns a bar in Columbia, South Carolina called Transmission. It's a bar. More than a bar. It's an arcade. It's fantastic. It's a bar arcade. It's a bar.

Good food too. Arcade. Well, yeah, we went there. Amazing wings. I'll just say it's the best wings in South Carolina. What the fuck do I know? They're Carolina. What the fuck do I know? They're delicious. Um, and, uh, he keeps up with the drink trends.

Remember when we were there, we had spaghetts and stuff like that. Yeah. And, um, I had put the word out to let people let me know, like, is this, uh, are people actually ordering green tea shots a lot? And cam said, yes, they're very, very, very popular at transmission. People order them all the time. And it's gotten to the point where popular enough that he batches them. He does the Jameson peach schnapps and sweet and sour mix in advance.

He texts me a picture of a big orange bottle so he can keep that cold because you serve it chilled and then he kind of lines up the shots pours them in and then tops them with the sprite and he said big drink i said are they good he's like they're a little on the cloying sweet side so if you don't like sweet stuff you might get flashbacks to some rough seems like it would yeah but they are delicious and they do taste like uh green tea so that's that's being reported out there from the bars, folks. This is happening. And the sweetness, that's okay, because you're not going to

sip on that all night. That's a treat. Yeah, that's right. It's an event shot. It's a novelty shot. You gather the friends around for something funny. So next time, Mike, when you're thinking about your fireball shots, maybe try a green tea shot once in a while. What was in it again?

You just said it, but I Jameson, peach schnapps, peach schnapps, sweet and sour mix. So we could make that. And it's something about, I think it's the peach schnapps probably.

That's giving it a green tea shot flavor. It's giving tea. Now it's, it's giving tea. It's giving Arizona. Uh, spill the tea. Is this something that could be on a future episode of the pod? That's my question. It's giving Arizona. Like, let's spill the tea. Is this something that could be on a future episode of the pod?

That's my question. Here's the thing. It is. It's the next pod. I mean, we're looking at the three guys who make the decision, so yeah. But I'm always reluctant to make the call on the air during the record. Do we do it? Do we decide? I think we do it? Did we decide?

I think we do it and we decide. I think it's fun. And I want to get the, because I also want people to buy them for me when I'm on tour. So if we do the episode first. Right, right, right. Oh yeah, we should start making a big show

about what our favorite drinks are and how we want them more. Yeah, and our favorite products, in case some of those end up waiting there for us, new iPads and stuff like that. Our our shirt sizes or yes our mesh short sizes uh our our crotch sizes are small just so you know everybody wait big waist small crotch if you can manage that balloon seat in the pants tiny crotch balloon seat but sometimes i put rubber for anti-staining if the crotch is too big in my pants i just wear them backwards no problem great you need that space in the back anyway

uh this is good for booze news to um to get people into the serialized nature of the pod exactly people want to turn tune in and they want to hear oh the borg they mentioned the borg last time now they're doing yeah the Borg. That's cool. It keeps them strung along nice and tight. People start making guesses. They've mentioned this and this and this. They've got to be doing the green tea shot now. Yeah. If you listen to

our podcast, take a step back from it and you analyze a year of it. We're actually following Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. Wow. I will say it's not going to be next episode though because we got a little treat next episode. But maybe I've said too much. Okay, you're right. Yes, good to consider.

I've said too much. I need to shut the fuck up. Sometimes you gotta shut your fat fucking mouth, dude. My fat fucking mouth won't shut and I'm getting my fucking foot in my fucking mouth. My fat fucking mouth won't shut and I'm getting my fucking foot in my fucking mouth. My fat fucking mouth and I'm getting my fucking foot cut in my fucking mouth.

And I'll tell you what, my head is up lodged securely up my ass. Securely past the rectum. Foot in mouth and head in ass. Alright. You need to be

an Olympic-level contortionist to pull that one off. Jeff, you were about to say? I was about to say, are we done with booze news? Can we get on to the drink of the day, please? Wrap it up. Please, thank you.

I'm wrapping it. All right. I'd love to hear about the drink of the day. Oh, so you want to hear about the drink of the day. Oh, so you want to hear about the Borg Blackout Rage Gallon you've had? I've not had. Not had, but we just heard about it last week in Booze News. What did you hear?

I heard it all. You told us it's a new drink that all the college kids are drinking. Yes. It's very buzzy. It's a drink that's essentially like a big gallon of water and vodka, and it's flavored with Mio droppers. And the thing, the reputation is it's a hangover proof drink because of all the water that you're chugging along with the booze. So it gets you really drunk, makes a blackout blackout rage gallon that's wild but no hangover yeah supposedly so if you search tiktok right now you'll see a shitload of

videos about borgs and it starts back a couple years ago and just kind of kids like showing how to make it like the original ones and then our founding fathers yeah yeah we must pay our respects to them to those who have borg before us um eventually people start like making their own recipes tweaking instead of like mio these other flavor packets or things you can put in there um then it really takes hold when people start giving them names. You come up with a Borg and you name your Borg with a pun name. They all have like punny, mad Libby names, punny,

mad Libby names. And this has now become a whole thing at a daytime parties or Darties on college campuses, sorority parties and stuff like that. You see kids, they, they've got, they've got their Borg with them all day.

So there's, they make these videos where everyone holds up their borg like introduces themselves says the name of their borg and uh to give you a sense of of the culture behind this i brought a clip i made a little montage of tiktoks so here you go this is a a solid minute of some of the greatest hits i've combined from many many many tiktoks of uh college kids telling us their borg names hit it great hey can you tell me about your board what's in your board what'd you name it oh this is adam sane board mine's soldier borg first one is play board cardi and we also got rick and Borgie. Hi, I'm a Mike Borg and certified lover Borg. I'm Lexi and my Borg is Ron Borgandy. My name's Jack and my Borg name is Brown versus the Borg of Education.

Bob's Borg for me. Bob's Borgers. Yeah, formerly Travis, now it's Heisenborg. R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth Borg. May she rest in peace. The Abortion Clinic. My Borg is the Borg of the Children. My name is Jack. I got Borg Hub. My name is Courtney and mine is Beer Borgs and Bentley.

Some Borgies problem, Borg and Holland. I'm Alyssa. I don't go here, but Borg again. What is up? I'm Tim and this is my Borg and it's named, oh, I don't even know what to call it. That was me at the end. I was at one of the parties was me at the end i was at one of the parties yeah yeah you were at one of the parties this one i didn't hear any people or music back you got the camera person to follow you like over to a corner real close and echoey um i love that girl was like i don't go here that i haven't heard that in so long i don't go here is like yeah such a huge thing uh you know it's like how if you're like in high school if you're like a freshman and

someone's a sophomore that's like locked into your brain they're like older than you for the rest of your life even if you're like 50 and 51 i don't go here it's like no one cares where you go but like at the time if you're in college you're like i don't go here i'm sorry i don't know anything i'm sorry for even don't know anything. I'm sorry for even being on this video. There's not even an adult equivalent. Like you would never, like when I was in Brooklyn, I would never be like, I don't go here. I don't, I don't live here.

I guess you could say I don't live here, but. I'll do that. I'll stroll into like a country club and be like, I don't belong here, but can I stay for the, can I go to the pool? Yes, sir. Help yourself. Yes, sir. Fine. I gotta say, I mean, I watched a lot of these these videos i have a particular uh i gotta block on the bad pun i don't like i don't like the

trend of like oh nasty everyone's doing bad puns man i i in general hate that shit but uh some of this was very charming uh i don't love uh i mean it's funny to see rep repetitive ones like i didn't include any doubles but multiple people did did borg hub instead of porn hub uh or whatever borg hub but um i mean yeah that's just a way for um uncreative people to feel creative you give them a pattern and they go it's let's twitter yes it's all teed up for you yeah i mean it's kind of like that's what tiktok a lot of it is is like you know building off the joke or just redoing the joke i saw some tiktoks that were like before the borg and after borg and it was like people like hey and saying their names and they're saying hey it's adam samborg and then like it would cut to afterborg and they were just kind of like asleep on the couch it

wasn't it wasn't like crazy oh that's a funny trend though when you see at a wedding first drink last drink oh yeah where it's like hey i'm the i'm the maid of honor this is my first drink and then like this is my last drink everybody completely then like, this is my last drink. Everybody completely shifted. Dude, I mean, the funniest is I shared it on Instagram recently, but the fireball nips, the guy,

the snowboarder, if you've seen that one, he's like, this is me after one fireball nip. This is me after... That was continuous. He's a day of snowboarding, but after 14 fireball nips,

he's like face down on the snow, sliding down the slope slope still talking to his friend like i told you bro i told you bro he looks like a mannequin it's so funny his body is just dead but his face is still like dude this is what i'm saying um but uh so everyone's got the their borg names written on the side of their gallons of water it's uh it's a it's a premise for a party you know it's an icebreaker you talk to people you have some and some of these parties were like pirate themed which you know we love we do talk like a pirate and we we say our maybe that's fun sure sure we missed it again this year didn't we no we got it we're always missing it i i swear i said r80 last year yeah but what day um so if we gotten into the real recipe because

this is another one that's like you sort of customize it right you customize it because it starts with these parties darties but then now it's getting this reputation where you're starting to have like influencers and news articles talking about how responsible gen z is for drinking borgs because people are now adding liquid iv and other hydration uh multipliers and stuff like that um plus borgs are being applauded for being safe because if you make a borg and you bring it to a party darty you you know exactly what you're drinking as opposed to jungle juice or other like mystery communal drinks and you have it with you all day and you know what you made and then the bottle also has a cap so if you're it's safe from roofies and stuff because you have a thing and you're capping it up between sips.

It feels COVID aware. It feels roofie aware. It is still though and I agree with those points but it is still a gallon of a thing. And blackout rage. Right, blackout rage. We talked about this in the booze news when it was first brought up last

episode but like a gallon of this one thing just seems like a bad news. It's going to be bad news. The most responsible word is gallon. Right, right. That's what you were saying last time. I also just like... Not good.

Expected it to be weaker because I love a big... Remember on the West Coast tour, do you guys remember what I was drinking? Because I wanted to drink on tour but i also you know it's a marathon not a sprint so my go-to drink and i've been doing this lately again i i get a vodka soda but i say can i get a big vodka can i get a vodka soda in a pint glass with a lot of soda so it's still just the normal amount of vodka but it's like diluted so i kind of thought borgs were gonna have that element but listen to this recipe i i the one we're gonna do here today is sort of the og i took this from one of the early tiktok videos uh uh tiktok user disney princess of death lays

out the very original recipe which is you get a gallon of water, like the plastic handle kind that we all know and love, and you pour out half. A lot of people pour it into something so they're not just wasting water. Yeah, just dumping out water. I take issue with that. I saw a lot that were just pouring it into a sink and I was like, damn, guys. Those are dumbasses.

That's going to cause a drought. It's going to cause a drought. I bought my water yesterday, or two days ago when I thought we were recording it. I've been taking little sips. I got all the way down to half, so I don't even have to pour anything out. Oh, perfect. It's just cool about me. I did the same, and it's good clean water.

It's real good spring water. So what do you put in? What do you put in? Okay. Yes, Tim. You pour in, once it's half empty you pour in an entire bottle of vodka we're talking about a fifth of vodka a 750 milliliter normal standard bottle of vodka yeah that's a lot but now remember this is for a whole day of drinking

you're going to a darty and you're going to be sipping all day. And then you flavor it. That's like 12 shots? And when you say you pour in a whole one. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Something like that. Something like 12 shots. You pour in the whole bottle. Now. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I encountered people. Some of the health influencers, obviously, on TikTok are making it with less vodka.

And then some dudes at parties were like, oh oh i made mine with like rum and whatever so so it's basically become just a gallon full of shit it's customizable but for us our recipe says you flavor it with you know those little neo flavor packets m lowercase i capital o um little drink squirters which i had seen but never bought before this i remember those from like the early aughts those were like the days of pinkberry and like von dutch and shit yeah and it was sort of like is it zero calorie is that the hook it's sort of like crystal light of the modern yeah but it's like it comes as liquid instead of powder and you just give it a little but that's so dorky to walk around with a dripper but, but it's like, it comes as liquid instead of powder, and you just give it a little... But that's so dorky to walk around with a dripper, but I

guess it's for like Nalgene people, right? People who carry around water. You don't have to use Mio, you can use any packets you want. When I bought Mio at Rite Aid, there was other brands of stuff like this right next to it. Here's the other thing, though. We couldn't find Mio to save our lives in New York.

I got the Crystal Light. I came here. Great. I found it everywhere. But what you're looking for is electrolytes and B vitamins and I mean in some cases caffeine. I'm not doing caffeine today. Now original Mio doesn't have the electrolytes or caffeine but then they have souped up versions of it that added

that. Okay. So B vitamins. But yeah, go nuts. Here's where you're expressing yourself when you're making your borg oh is yeah mike has crystal light that'll work just fine uh the the important thing is you gotta have a marker you gotta have a sharpie because you're gonna write your borg name on the side and then an optional thing if you really want to uh make sure you don't have a hangover this is where you get into the electrolytes or hydration powders like i'm not going to do it on round one but i have as if i

have multiple borgs but i have um i did buy some liquid iv and i like that stuff just in dude it's pretty good i saw it i think the right aid that you sent me to had liquid iv right next to the meo and i grabbed some hell yeah dude dude. Does that have a taste to it? I got Concord grape. I got grape as well. Yeah. I got this stuff called Morning Recovery. Drink today, feel great tomorrow.

It's like an energy drink. Beautiful. I've never heard of this brand, but I just tasted it. It kind of tastes gross. So I think I might start, have a few sips. That's a little different genre. That's more of a little medicinal shot that you cringe on

liquid IV kind of just turns your water into Gatorade ah yes but it has a taste interesting so for my round two I'm going to add this morning recovery stuff in my round two I'm going to just add my hydration

multiplier do you guys have markers so that you can come up with names and write them on the side? Yes. Good. I have a black Sharpie. I wish it was colorful, but it's just a black Sharpie. That's fine. You can express yourself. I know. It's fine, but

it's not what I want. All right, folks. We're going to leave you with the ads, and when we come back, we'll have Borgs in hand later which we plan on finishing this episode we better all right let's do it and we're back. Borg's in hand. Lift him. Huge variable.

We didn't talk about how much Mio to squirt. Oh, my God. I did a whole... Yeah, the Crystal Light Packet was easy because I just did a whole... Dumped the whole thing? ...sleeve, yeah. I'll come out and say I did a liter, not a gallon. Wait, you got a smart water bottle yeah i

got a smart water leader uh this is steven spielborg oh good one very good now could you not find a gallon or you just didn't want to go a whole hog today i mean i'm not gonna drink it i just got out of the er yeah that was the thing like pouring pouring like a whole bottle of vodka in it was like oh shit that's i'm not not going to drink all that. Still an astounding amount of Tito's. Not today. I went a whole lot. I'm not drinking a gallon of anything in the last half hour

we have. What is Borg? That's good. What is Borg? That's mine. I did Wayne Borgski. I should have done Gretz Borg. I should have flipped it oh well i read on my mio thing it says one squirt for eight ounces of water and i was like i guess i have 64 ounces i guess so i did eight squirts but like squirt like well i heard a sorority girl online said she squirts for five seconds what see i heard you put a whole mio in and i was like well

i didn't do a whole gallon so i'm gonna do most of a mio wait did i say a whole meal i shouldn't have said if i said that in the recipe up top we're gonna that's gonna be no i think that's like something i found in my in my research it should be we try them out just meal squirts i guess uh yeah let's try them out. Board time. Sips. Mio squirts. Wait, Jeff, what flavor Mio you have? I did lemon-lime. With electrolytes?

Yeah, this is Mio Sport, so there's no caffeine, but it is electrolytes and B vitamins. That's what I'm after. Terrible. Sips. Damn, Tim, you got a big purple jug smells like meal oh my god oh geez you know what i should have named mine what the big hand burger that sucks this sucks this is is dastardly. You can tell it's like very flavorful, but also very vodka-y.

Yeah. This is like, this is really a weird drink. You know what I wasn't expecting? I don't know if you could tell because of the sort of semi-opaque nature of your plastic jugs but when i poured vodka into the water i just expected it to be clear on clear and what i got was this like science class pearlescent swirl really yeah like when you pour vodka into water it's not just like invisible you get like a gas station swirl because vodka is kind of viscous it's like thicker though yeah yeah and you can see it sort of i'm gonna put my second

crystal another crystal light thing in here because that pack is probably meant for one is it meant for one yeah so you want to put you're supposed to supercharge it i had to spray more mio i can't decide whether this drink is strong or weak but it needed more mio flavor but like it's interesting that if the vodka is like relatively like one-to-one ish that's i can't i don't know where to put this in my head like it's funny trying to like review it like it's a cocktail when that's really not the point is the point is I'm holding a big Borg. Right. And the point is to sit with it all day. Okay. I squirted more of my fruit punch meal in and now it just tastes like fruit punch.

Is it great? Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would walk around a darty with this and say, what is Borg? I'm making a damn mess over here. Um, yeah, it just, even if I added just another Crystal Light, if I did a third, this wouldn't taste like anything other than Crystal Light.

I'm getting a lot of vodka, even though I added a lot of Mio. I can smell it. I'm not getting vodka. After a second Crystal Light, I'm not getting vodka anymore. I'm just getting weak Crystal Light. It's weird taking it.

Even though this is hailed as like, like hey you're in control of your drink it's still a mystery amount like i like to drink a cocktail and be like okay i had two ounces but like yeah every sip is half vodka so if i just took four sips that's like taking four sips of vodka a lot of people don't sip vodka neat you know yeah i mean i already feel a little bit of a zoop zoop like after taking a shot i can feel a little buzz hitting me yes i feel like i feel like this darty is off to the races yeah this is a good darty yeah what the kids all say This party is off to the races. It's funny. Yeah, so you call a daytime party a darty and a nighttime party a narty.

Yeah, of course. That's what we always do. Gotcha. I see. I see. Have you heard of this? When I was searching TikTok, I found this other trend.

It was like a reused audio clip, the way that TikTok is always used audio. Someone made their Borg video, but they used this clip that was like a, a reused, like an audio clip. The way that Tik TOK is always like, uh, use audio. Someone made their board video, but they use this clip that was like an older trend, but it was a news report. That's like a new trend.

That's sweeping college campuses. Kids are getting smacked. Everyone out there is getting smacked. And it was like, it's like a YouTube channel trend from like 2015 that kids were like just getting really drunk and posting videos to like or it was a youtube channel called schmacked or something uh schmacko but i like the word schmacked think about everyone's getting schmacked did did you in college have any uh like funny funny drinks like this? I can't remember, like, a trend at all.

No. This was like jungle juice, basically. I went to, we went to Ithaca College, and I remember going to a Cornell party one time, walking into the frat house, and it was just like, exactly what I always expected, just like a guy in a, you know, like a white button-down Oxford shirt tucked into his jeans was like, jeans was like hey man come on down but the jungle juice is over here and i you know took my solo cup and githunk just kind of trolled it through some a big vat that was green and

jungle juice is just all the liquors poured together and kool-Aid, I guess, but it was nasty. I don't remember any, like, a thing that people were like, hey, we're all doing blanks. Just beers. Keystone light beers and Natty Ices. Well, because we had a really good setup, though,

at our favorite bar, Moonshadows, where you get a picture of... i feel like one labatt blue was 275 but a pitcher was 550 but then you could use tokens you know sometimes it was three for one beer day or two for one uh yeah they give you tokens two for two for one pitcher day but you hold the tokens so you go go on Wednesday when they give you the tokens, but you come back Saturday night and you spend your time. And they also, remember free pizza and free subs.

They line up subs. Yeah, on Friday afternoon, like Friday at five or something. They sliced them up and you just ate free subs. It was crazy. That was great. Somebody, I think, either had the idea or actually was making the tokens, like ordered them online. No. Brilliant.

I can't remember if somebody talked about doing it or actually did it. What a hustle that would be. Yeah. It was so funny that when we went there, it was like Moonshadow. It was a hole in the wall dive bar. And then I went to Ithaca recently, and I went to the commons and I looked and it's all expanded and it's Mooney's nightclub Mooney's I've been

to Mooney's it's like a it's like a dance club yeah it's it is like it has a dance floor and it's a big club but it's like exposed plywood it's like very dingy exposed plywood particle board nasty

this is like I've taken a few sips of it and usually when we do our drinks even if it's a drink I'm not too crazy about I'm still like sipping it this is you gotta here here you go yeah Mike but you're walking around a darty yeah just heavy

too I think I did maybe too much meal i can't believe i'm saying it it's good it masks the vodka and water is weird it should be like soda or something you know it's weird but once you put enough meal like mine just really tastes like a big barrel of uh of fruit punch right now you got fruit punch flavor i have i think mine is fruit punch right now. You got fruit punch flavor? I think mine is. Fruit punch, crystal light. If I taste my meal by doing a squirt

right in my mouth, do you think it's going to overpower me? Like knock you over? Just do like drops. Don't do a big old squirt. Well, it's hard to drop because it's like kind of... Alright, do a big squirt. Just get a squirt. It hit my uvula.

Ugh. Nasty. Ooh, Jeff, was that something when you threw up a bunch? Did your uvula start hanging down? Is it really long? I don't know. No, no, it's fine. Well, just look at...

My uvula's fine, Mike. I've done that before where I wake up from a night of puking, and that thing is just like dragging around. It's like on my tongue and it's like making an L shape. It's so long. You look back there and it's like hey Mike. Dude you gotta relax.

Dude I got schmacked. I got schmacked. Would you change anything because I'm looking at my liquid IV conquered grapes. Yeah I'm gonna do that. I don't know how grape is anything? Because I'm looking at my liquid IV, uh, conquered grapes. Yeah, I'm going to do that. I don't know how grape is going to go.

I'm going to add, I'm going to add my morning recovery thing, just a little of this. I'm adding conquered grape to lemon lime. It's all fruit. Soy free, nut free, gluten free. Wow.

Nut free. Are you doing it now, or are you going to break I don't have my liquid AVs in the kitchen go to break folks I'm pouring I'm pouring fuck folks we'll see you back here in a minute

oh slob heads we're going on tour this spring and you gotta come see us we're gonna be out there with the band dear blanca they're great everyone's gonna be drinking calpe cordials all over the place you got hanford getting healthy you got big purple p-dutty duds on drums you're gonna sing along with our songs and then you're gonna hang out, get some selfies, and we'll sign your goddamn T-shirt. We're coming to New Orleans, Memphis, St. Louis, Davenport, St. Paul, Milwaukee, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Detroit, Cincinnati, Louisville, Nashville, Atlanta. Get tickets and the links in our bios, man. You've got to see us on tour hour back

with Borg round two I was happy to see that okay go ahead okay I I poured my liquid IV in there

which I'm excited about but more importantly I was hungry I got a snack look what I got I don't like this what is this in there, which I'm excited about, but more importantly, I was hungry. I got a snack. Look what I got. I don't like this. What is this? Mortadella?

He's got the mortadella. And he's eating a whole slice by him. Okay. Yeah, make sure to chew on the mic. Oof. Right to the dome like Tony Soprano with his gabagool. I didn't know it was that flimsy. That was... It seemed baloney or whatever.

I like it nice and thinly sliced. It's the kind that has the pistachios in the mix. Here's the thing, guys. If you live in LA... If you live in LA, you probably know about the Bay City's deli in Santa Monica. Don't get your subs from

the case i used to always just go to the refrigerator and get the godmother pre-made if you know put in the extra time pull the number wait in the deli line they make you your sub with fresh hot baked freshly baked sub rolls it's so good and then you can also get yourself a pound of mortadella damn Damn. No, that's the way to go. Jesus. You know, I've been,

I've been going to the deli counter myself lately, getting the slice stuff rather than just getting it out of a, uh, actually what they do, what I've, what I've taken to is they have a pre-sliced in the packages right there. So I don't have to say, uh,

let's see, which one do I, Oh, I like that when the deli is pretty stupid. I don't, now that I do deli, I can't go back to the slimy shelf packs. What?

Yeah. That's where I live. You like the slimy shelf packs? I've eaten hundreds of slimy shelf packs. Ooh, slimy shelf pack. Well, back to the Borg. Yeah. I was happy to see that my grape liquid IV wasn't purple, so i wasn't adding purple

to green just for the aesthetics of it you know i'm still a rich lemon lime green over here although my my morning recovery stuff is disgusting i put just a few drops in it's gross what is it like milky like what's the it's it no it's kind of got that Red Bull sort of look. It's kind of like... It's like just yellow piss? It's like chemicals. Yeah, chemically. Now, I noticed that my liquid ID...

No, it's not thick. It's not thick, Jeff. It's like a thin. It's thin. It's not thick. It's a thin. I think you can see we've been through thick and thin. That's true. That's true. That's true. I it's a thin. I think you can see we've been through thick and thin. That's true.

That's true. That's true. I did complain about this. Watching you eat that mortadella alone is the thickest part. That's very thick. In college, I was going to start a band with, I remember Doug Loback, he was really skinny, and we were going to start a two-man band called Thick and Thin.

That was old low back. Good. I think he lives in Arizona. I want to say he's married with kids. Shout out, Doug. Let's get that band going. It's time, man. It's time, man.

Ditch the wife. Ditch the kids. Get in the band, man. The band, my man. I was complaining about this being too much flavor beforehand, and now it's just absolutely too much flavor. The thing that's tough about this whole thing is so much water. It's like I'd have to add two more crystal light things, I think,

to make it really tasty. This worked? Yeah. I think so. Look at Tim. He likes it. I could. Maybe I will.

Oh, for those listening, too, if you haven't listened to this week's blowout yet, we're going to be sipping on these all the way through the blowout, too. Oh, yes. We better be. So you'll hear us talking about the Leprechaun movie as loud as we can. I just took a sip. I did a real Brittany Broski. You know, that meme that's like, oh, huh?

Oh, yeah. Kombucha meme. Oh, that, hmm. Huh? Hmm? I didn't know her name was Brittany Broski. That's a good name. I like it more with the hydration, the liquid IV hydration multiplier.

I think I'm drunk, by the way. Side note. Me too. I think it's doing the- I think it's all that mortadella well because it's again it's half vodka I keep taking these big gulps of it and that's a half vodka gulp

I probably had like five shots or six shots that's more than I would have on the pod but what I was saying is I like the the liquid IV just gave it something more going on. Although, it has 40 calories in a liquid IV. Why did Tim struggle through these burps? Well, because I ate a lot of Borg.

So, I noticed. Borg burp. Mio is zero calories so it was just occurring to me that the borg is is a diet drink essentially because you know vodka is has no carbo liquor doesn't have any carbos and it's low on the calories a whole borg might only be like 400 calories that's amazing. Wait a minute. Is Borg keto? Borg is keto. Really? Borg is keto.

Hanford is keto. This is perfect. Hanford gets healthy with Borgs. Although in the crystal light here, there's two grams of carb. Oh. That's sad. Five calories total. It's disgusting.

Just take those out. Yeah. Reach in. Pull them. Pull them. Just take those out. Yeah. Reach in, pull them. Pull them. Ooh, electrolyte got stuck. Tim, you did good by not putting in all that Mio up top. I can't subtract the Mio now.

You just got to add water into a larger receptacle, Jeff. But you can't, Jeff, because you didn't buy the gallon. You bought a little guy. Yeah. It's funny. Your smart water looks like my Svetka bottle. Ooh. I wonder if people will get those mixed up every once in a while. Yeah. It's funny, your smart water looks like my Svetka bottle. Ooh. I wonder if people get those mixed up every once in a while. Ooh.

Could you imagine? Could you imagine that? You guys think... So last week on our Patreon show, we talked about best hangover cures, and the winner was Jeff, which was sort of a cheating thing. He said, fast food and back to bed. A cheating thing was sort of a cheating thing. He said fast food and back to bed.

Fair and square. A cheating thing. It was a cheating thing. If you say fast food and back to bed, it means you didn't get cured. You went back to bed. I'm going back to work. This is the problem with you, Jeff,

is you went back to brunch. As soon as Biden was elected, you went back to brunch. People aren't going to remember what that is. I'm still out there protesting trump every day i go i go out to the the white house and i take a selfie flipping it off yeah but that but biden's in there me and the liberals went back to brunch mike that's i didn't i've never heard that before but that's that's so perfect um well i was just gonna ask that on our fantastic patreon show we talked about hangover

cures but i wanted to ask you about preventative measures this whole drink is about not letting a hangover start do you are you guys pretty good about drinking water no i would say if i come home drunk from a bar i always make a point to try to drink a glass of water before i get in bed but what i don't do is drink water out at bars because here's my theory and any bartenders listening dm me direct message i can't get a fucking water at a bar when i when i order what when i order waters bartenders they just don't show up they simply they hear it they're like i'm not wasting money i'm not wasting any power energy on something that you're not going to tip me on or that i'm not charging you for and i now i've just stopped ordering them because like i hate it when

i'm ordering for friends and i'm like i'm getting around and somebody just wants a water but at least that's with other drinks but if like when you see a friend just get a water it's like they fucking hate that and and well they need to deal with it that's their job and i'm sorry um here's the other thing they love to do is say water's right over there and then they point to a jug that's been empty for like 45 minutes to yeah yeah that's true it's like people want the water it's empty fill it again stop what you're doing fill the glasses and cups everyone's been empty for like 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, that's true. It's like people want the water. It's empty. Fill it again. Stop what you're doing. Fill it again.

The glasses and cups, everyone's been touching them. Now, I'll take it one step further. Here's what I think. When I go to a fast food place, I get the water cup, and then I say to myself, I'm not going to steal any soda, but I will hit a little bit of the bubbly water and have a seltzer cup. That's fair. Soda water.

Now, I think at a bar, I should be getting... If I'm drinking martinis, and I'm a good tipper, and I'm a hell of a customer, and it's good to have me at your bar. One of the best. I think that I should be able to get a glass of club soda for free. Tim, I'll do you one better. They should put the gun on the other side of the bar. Anyone

gets to just use it. You want to spray it right in the bartender's face? They're doing a bad job? Anytime I get a water, I always get the water. I must have that charm or that type of face or something. Or you look dehydrated. We're just, no,

no, is that I'm attractive and they want to help me right i need to be there for this man what am i trying to say oh yeah i'll say like can i get a water and it's usually never like yeah sure it's just like they just start doing it and give it to me where if you order a drink it's like yeah cool man coming right up we'd love it here's something though listen to this yes last you know we were talking about lifts and Ubers recently. Sure. And Tim was talking about a drunk lift driver he had.

Last night, I had a drunk Uber driver. Whoa! I ordered him up, and I saw the car. It was at a funky kind of intersection where there was like two... Just kind of a lot was happening in this intersection. So I was a little unclear as to where it was going to be. So I'm scoping him out. And I see him and he's going very slow and just like weaving back and forth.

But just like, you know, tiny little bits back and forth, like three or four feet each way. And I'm thinking, okay, this guy is just like slowing down and like trying to find me because it's a confusing intersection. So I got in the car and it takes him a second. I'm like, hey, he didn't ask my name. And I was like, that's like the first time that's ever happened. So I was like, oh, I'm like, he's like, okay. And it takes him a while to find his phone and put in the stuff. I was like, ooh.

And we're going and it's like, he's kind of like speeding up and then slowing down and then he pulls into this one-way road street and then like quickly corrects that and goes back onto the street we were just on and i was like oh shit uh hold on a second can we pull over for a second and he did and i got i was like yeah i'm uh i'm gonna hop out here are you okay to drive and he was like or no at I said, made up some bullshit thing. I was like, oh, I forgot something.

Can you just drop me off? I don't know. Oh yeah. I didn't need to do that, but. Well, you didn't want to get into the full confrontation while you're in the back. Yeah.

That was, yeah, that was kind of the thing. I was like, I didn't want him to be like, yeah, I'm fine. And we just keep driving.

But, uh, I get out, like, as I'm halfway out, I'm like, hey, are you okay to drive?

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, is that why you're getting out? I was like, yeah, are you okay to drive? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, is that why you're getting out? I was like, yeah, you kind of seem like you're drunk. And he's like, no, no, it's fine.

And I was like, no, I'm out of here. And you shouldn't be driving. But I didn't know what else to do. You did him a favor. But he kept driving. He just drove on. I don't understand the mentality of like, let's say you do have a little buzz on.

What makes you get in your car and say, now it's time for me to, I need to get to work. I need to start making some money and driving people around. Or does it think, yeah. It's almost like alcohol impairs your judgment. No, but like for your own fun and use of time, when you got a little buzz on, you don't say I'm going to get in the car and start clocking some miles.

Well, I personally never drink and drive i don't test it if i'm having more than two drinks i don't drive but in a world where you knew you weren't gonna kill anybody or yourself i think driving drunk would be so fun me t-bird top down on the pch open course i gotta think that this dude was probably it's the other way around he's at work Keybird top down on the PCH. Open course. I got to think that this dude was probably, it's the other way around. He's at work. He's driving people around and he's sneaking a little sips here and there

and it caught up to him. Right, because it's like, it's a job where you're kind of your own boss and no one can check on you except for when you're a passenger who's like, oh, you're drunk. You're drunk. What now?

Here's the other thing I'm just thinking now. Should I have, I should probably like, maybe it's too late now, but like, should I have gone on and been like, hey, this driver was drunk on my app? It's tricky.

I, I, because maybe it was just a shitty driver. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You don't, you don't know he was drunk.

He didn't breath. I never want to get any. I never want to fuck up someone. Get off of me. I'm not. I never want to get anyone. I never want to fuck up someone's... Get off of me. I'm not drunk. I never want to get anyone in trouble and fuck up their job and maybe cost them their income. But if he was drunk, he could have killed the next person.

So it was a real conundrum. That's the thing. Yeah, I should have... Yeah, I mean, maybe there's a way to... I'm just realizing that was maybe an option. I don't know. Maybe there's a way to file a complaint where it's just like, he was driving erratically and behaving strange or something. So he was a little quirky. Yeah, he's a qu know maybe there's a way to like file a complaint or is this like he was driving erratically and behaving strange or something so he was a little quirky like yeah

he's a quirk he's quirky guy well yeah but then he seemed to be eccentric yeah well he had a blindfold on too i was like what was this all about so yeah i was like only someone who was drunk would try to drive with a blindfold on well again mike that could be a kink and i don't want you kink shaming don't yuck his young i know i know i know i know beforeink and I don't want you kink shaming. Don't yuck his young. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I didn't want drunk drive shame. I didn't want to do anything. So I just got out of the situation.

Did you see that viral video recently of an old news report when they're like cracking down on drunk driving for the first time? And there's like an old guy being like, you know, it's getting to the point where after a long day of work, working at a factory a factory 10 12 hours you you're driving home you're not even allowed to have a couple beers on the drive yeah and now i i didn't see that video but that idea is like not that uh old yeah there's a great uh there's a documentary on hunter s thompson where he's driving around and they're following him. He's driving around Las Vegas and he's cracking beers and just drinking on the strip.

And it was a normal enough thing to do that it made it in the documentary. Weird. Man, you know, in our music video for Tom Collins, when I have like the bar built kind of in my T-Bird. Yeah. How fun would it be to just be driving around and you have like a my diet like a whole like a a big tiki cocktail in a car i love that that part of the video is so funny you open the center console and there's fresh ice inside it's like maraschino cherries and lime wedges that's also such a fun thing to do when you're doing like dumb sketches to be like, this is going to fuck up my car to put all this ice in my center console,

but it'll be funny. But who gives a shit? Hey, that car's still running. Yeah, it's great. And Hey, unlike Hunter S.

Thompson and that other dude, we're much more responsible today drinking Borgs. What do you think? What's your final thought on the Borg? Well, it's funny because the question is always order again. I don't see a really situation where I would make one of these again unless it was like with a group of people,

we're all going to like split. I'm not going to drink one of these by myself ever again. Mike, I think we should. I think we should do it again. Okay. Would you do it in that case? Yeah, but what do you mean? Just because you didn't do the full one, now you want us to relive this so you can have your experience? Because

when we talked about doing this, we were like, well, shit, do we do it immediately because it's the drink of the moment and we talked about it on Booze News, or do we wait till we're all together and we do it like the lineup and really do it? I feel like i could drink i could do another one of these i think if we did if we had a darty and it was yeah we gotta have a darty we gotta have a daytime if you start partying at noon and you're like i'm

gonna drink this all day until i pass out at night and then you can really put it to the test i mean i'm gonna i'll drink as much as i can of this and i'll see like comparably how i have to work tomorrow but like i'll see how i feel compared to normal drinks oh yeah i'm making drink the whole fucker like i feel like i'm giving uh i'm i'm giving a good evaluation of the taste and uh and the experience of drinking it with friends. But I do want to sort of try the science experiment of, wow, it's so much alcohol, but it's so much hydration and vitamins. How does that all shake out?

I mean, it would be fun if we did one of these parties and like a bunch of people had these. Well, two things. First, it's not enough hydration. To drink a whole bottle of vodka half a gallon of water i drink half a gallon of water over the course of a normal day i hit the water pretty hard so it's it's still a lot of vodka so i would be shocked that there's no hangover but yes to us doing it again yes to us having a darty i was just thinking for my final thoughts i like it because i like the

pageantry i like the gimmick and the hook i like holding this gallon i'm not you know crazy about the taste because i don't really love mio but that's overshadowed by how fun it is to be chugging on a big gallon and i think if i were walking around a daytime party and this was my conversation starter i think that's very very fun but i'm also thinking like me i'm not going to finish this gallon tonight but maybe i'll put it in my fridge and i'll chip away at it all week and that's kind of fun i'm thinking for our tour this is zero calories and it's hydrating imagine if like over the if i make a a borg i bring it on stage with me and then i'm like chipping away at it for like three shows in a row you know yeah i know that's not the hydration okay but it's kind of nice and then i have to say for the more the mortadella stone

cold classic order again drop one of those mortadellas in your board you don't have to hold up each slice presentationally to the webcam either, by the way. That's kind of the part of it that's making me... It's that when you're eating them, Tim, that's the part of it that makes me sick. I thought that would be kind of a sexual thing for you, though. No, the sexual thing is when you're slurping

them into your mouth whole. To me, sucking a salty slice of fatty meat into my mouth whole. Stop talking with it in your mouth. Look at him. He's sitting back, drunk, laughing with a Bordadella hanging out of his mouth. I got to say, it's a big part of the Borg experience. Get a Borg, get a pound of Bordadella.

I'm going to drink the rest of this Borg for the blowout that we do after this, but I'm going to pour it into a cup. That's not the Borg way. I know, but I'm not doing Borg at that point. Okay, yeah. But you know what I mean? Hey, how was this? I'd rather have a drink I can handle rather than like...

You guys want to have a good laugh? Physically handle. No. How about, it's Borg. It's a gallon of water, Mio. It's got the juice. That's funny. Tim, if it hasn't been done yet, that would be gold.

I bet you it has been done. TikTok, man. Well, you said this trend started like two years ago, you said? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Were you saying it's Borg, like... It's Korn. It's me, I'm the problem, it's me, or it's Korn?

Okay. Oh, no, I like that one, too. No, I was thinking corn, and then I was thinking... Then I thought you were singing Taylor. How's that song go? It's me... It's Borg. Hi, I'm the Borg.

It's... No, I was singing corn. Corn is the better one. It's Borg. Boom. It's water, vodka, and me-o. Electrolytes. It's got the hydration.

Hmm. Hmm. All right. Well, maybe for a different time. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes

ahead of time. And hey, if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys for the bonus stuff. I'm talking questions for Lennon,

the monthly bonus episode, and the sloppy boys blowout, the weekly bonus episode. All right, folks. I hope you catch us on tour. It's coming up fast, and those tickets are selling. Bye, folks. Thanks for listening. Bring your Borgs.

God. What, I can't flap my mortadella at you? No. What is up? CalPK here with a little addendum uh uh reporting back to assess my hangover i what you know i didn't drink the whole borg i had a third of it so i'm comparing that to what i would typically feel if i had that much alcohol what did we say it was like five or six shots um the funny thing is i have a headache right now but i would not normally have a headache most of my hangovers are headache free unless it's like wine or something weird and six shots of vodka that wouldn't give me a headache so i'm

gonna chalk that up to something weird maybe maybe there was like a leprechaun hitting me in the head all night or something. So that's not the Borg's fault. And otherwise, I'm hangover free. I feel fantastic. You know. But then again, I didn't drink the whole Borg. The results are inconclusive, folks. Have a good one.

Peace. Hello, slopheads. This is Mike. You might know me from the podcast. Just checking in the day after the Borg. And I gotta say, I don't feel great. I don't think the Borg really worked for me. I drank a decent amount of it, more than I was really planning on. And, you know, I didn't like the taste and I feel hungover. So Borg 1, Mike 0. What is up? Calpike here. It's been a couple of days since we taped that episode. And a lot of people have been asking me, Tim, what did you do with your board well here's the thing I'm reaching into my fridge right now I got the board up there on the top shelf and I've been

taking little hits off this thing every day if I got about less than a half of I go to the dome. Oh, two big glugs, nice big chugs, and back into the fridge it goes. Not bad having a Borg in your life, man. Don't drink them all during one darty. Keep a Borg in your fridge, and it's a lifestyle. Peace. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. keep a Borg in your fridge and it's a lifestyle peace