The Sloppy Boys - 144. Grimace Piss

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

The guys open up the test kitchen in this very special episode, plus learn a lot of awesome facts about not only Grimace, but the entire McDonaldland cast.GRIMACE PISS RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Vodka1oz Creme de Cassis (or similar purple berry liqueur)Top up with Mountain DewRecipe via Mike Hanford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalfakis. What is up? And we are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys band, Stars on the Rise, album coming soon. Stars on the Rise would be a good name for a fourth album. Finally on the Rise. Yeah. Usually here, Stars on the Rise with somebody who's new on the scene, but no, these guys been plugging away. But you know what?

Long-term hard work and determination pays off. It's kind of a flaming lips trajectory. I was just going to say. They were making albums the whole time, and then they just decided to be geniuses at like 41. What was it? Yoshimi was their big breakout? Soft Bulletin and then Yoshimi.

Oh, okay. But they were like one-hit wonders, right? She Don't Use Jelly. Yeah, they had She Don't Use Jelly. But even before She Don't Use Jelly, they had something like four albums on Warner Brothers. Oh, damn. Crazy.

WB. The W-W-W-B. Oh, speaking of music, this is what I wanted to bring up. Yeah, well, we're a band, so that's very welcome. Right. Yeah, yeah. You know, we talked about Madonna. We were like, oh, there's going to be a Madonna trend.

And that didn't really take off. Is she doing her world tour yet? I don't hear about it. She must be on the other side of the planet right now. Yeah. Well, you know how there's these bands. There's like, I feel like people got into The Grateful Dead recently. Fleetwood Mac.

Fleetwood Mac or Steely Dan sort of came back. Oh, yeah. Duts. I got a feeling we are primed. Yeah? Primed and ready for... Us? No, not us.

Us as a group, a culture. We're going to see more sting, more police. These are coming back. I haven't heard it anywhere. I just can feel it because it's interesting music it's kind of like it's got that sweet spot of like mid to late 80s where it's like oh yeah this is kind of cool now and it did have an era talking heads is one of those bands i'm talking about talking heads you know i could see having a resurgence but they've always been cool

like that's a very like david burn is a very cool man whereas sting it helps him yeah to have a resurgence because he did go through an era of people making fun of him and yes the police because the police are sort of like this kind of punk ska type thing that was rejected by the punk and ska world so uh and then he was like a bit of a punch line for a long time so he could come back and say hey i'm sting you know but i feel you know yeah i know what you mean about talking heads they were always popular but like they just got started they were just used in more like trailers and movie soundtracks and stuff i feel like sting watch that folks keep an eye on sting we might have to take

it up that's good we should do a blowout about that like who do you got your money on in the next like in the next year or two like who's gonna be the one to blow up that's gonna have a resurgence because the ones you guys said steely dan grateful dead fleetwood mac it's not just like oh yeah it's like no that's huge there's like a lot of 20 year olds where those three are their favorite bands and that they tweet about them all day like it's pretty crazy um and they're a very well defined like a thing has to be gone for just long enough yeah your discography has to be just big enough so that it could it's not just like oh I found this album that's cool it has to be like a lifestyle, you know? Right, right, right, right.

Yeah, like Phil Collins didn't go away long enough. Sting went away long enough that he can rise like a phoenix. Right, right. Well, Phil Collins went away in the sense that like he just started doing movie soundtrack stuff. That's true. But even after Tarzan or stuff, he still had like 15 years of like, now I'm just laying low. I think everybody likes, because he kind of will get lumped in with the yacht rock revival or like everybody likes i can feel it coming in the air tonight yeah you're right i did see a funny thing

with spin sting though where you know how he's like so famous for tantric sex there was an article recently with his wife being like this is overblown and that like he's a two-pump chumpy is but they're slow pumps total opposite um it's so funny his wife just being like pumps like a glacier but uh the the way that media works like we've we've seen this stuff when you return to like i don't know paris hilton or britney spears or whatever i mean they were like mistreated but like the sting the tantric sex thing came from like one interview where he like right talked about it and just in the pre-internet days if you had one big interview in rolling stone or something that's

all the people heard from you that month and it was like on the cover of magazine and and i think it was like the world was hearing about tantric sex for the first time so it just became what it's like it's like the richard gear gerbil where we ever or it's like um uh we just we were hearing about youtube for the first time when lazy sunday came out there was this confluence of content and form yeah yeah wow that that is so crazy like i never thought about that you had if you had an article out in rolling stone like that was a month people heard from you and now it's like every 10 minutes if you'd like sure you gotta be on top of the cycle um sure i saw sting i went to a funny tour at the forum like 10 years ago was uh

paul simon and sting i've seen paul simon a bunch of times and i love him but the two of them together standing on stage together alternating songs they'd play on each other's songs and it's kind of oh that's cool storyteller tellers thing and they had written jokes that were like they had shtick that was fun like paul simon would be like well i'm having a lot of fun on this tour i'm you know sting you really have inspired me i i think i'm going to change my life so i think i'm going to start working out more i'm going to eat right i'm gonna do this and do that and do that and then sting will be like yeah and i think i'm gonna stay the way i am and everyone would like he's tall and handsome and that i i tweeted this recently but that was the show where the the classic birthday

boy sketch photobomb that i essentially transcribed from a real conversation i heard that behind me some white hairs behind me were saying photobomb what's a photobomb can i photobomb yes everybody photobomb and then i went into the birthday boy's offices the next day wrote it up tick tack word for word put put it on TV. I didn't know that was a Sting concert, too. I had the same experience today. Ryan Seacrest got a hold of the word situationship on the radio this morning and said it probably eight times. So you're in a situationship with two guys or whatever.

Wait, now what is that? Because I've heard that before but i it's like this new term for like you know it's a therapist i think came up with it because they had to talk about these relationships that people are having with people who aren't their boyfriend or girlfriend so it's like we're hooking up but we're not boyfriend girlfriend it's a and beyond just like fuck buddies or friends with benefits, it's sort of like a relationship where I have defined my boundaries in such a way that this is a weird

situation. Gotcha. Alright. Hey, this Valentine's Day, celebrate your relationship, which... Shipwitch. Celebrate your situation, which... Is this a subway Jersey Mike's ad? chip, witch. Is this Subway?

Jersey Mike's ad? Yeah, wait, why do I keep saying witch? It's ship. Situation ship. All right. Anyway, get a chip, witch. All right, can we get to the booze news, please? I want to know what's happening in the wide world of booze.

Yes. Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. Bip, bip, hit it. Uh-oh. I don't know about you. Grimace is 52. Oh my God. Is it really? Grimace is 52 was sent to us by Jesse Lyons from the, uh,

guy Italians eating Italian podcast. Uh, and, and also if Grimace is 52 was a take on the classic booze news theme, toad is 32 by Pat Cavanaugh. And if you have a booze news theme, email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. I love Mike,

the way you say Grimace is 52. It's almost like you're pulling down your reading glasses. Grimace is 52. Looking at the sheet. Ah, yes. We know Toad is 32 and Grimace is 52. Yes. Ah, yes.

Yes, yes. Okay. Today's top story on Booze News. It finally happened. We were waiting for it. This month on Instagram, I don't know if you guys saw, that Tim Heidecker has finally tried his first spaghetti cocktail.

Did you see that? Ooh, how'd it go? Oh, nice. He loved it. He made a little video. It looked like he was on vacation with his dad, the absolutely guy. And, you know, we've covered the spaghetti a lot on the cocktail. And I mean, on the podcast, we've we've tracked its rise from obscurity in Baltimore to being a mainstream drink. And when we went on office hours a year or two ago, I mentioned it to Tim like, hey, there's a drink named after you.

It's getting big. And he had not heard of it at that point. But I'm as we've saying, like, now that a spaghetti is a thing that's like pretty much a mainstream cocktail yeah they're all over the place he made a little video where they poured the apparel in they put poured the lemon his dad had squeezed some lemon juice they both loved it tim chugged his right down to the bottom and they gave it a big thumbs up so it's come full circle but no mention of the fact that it was the sloppy boys who originally tipped him off as to yeah um i've seen a bunch i was just i was on the east coast i see him everywhere the slop heads are tagging him in spit uh on instagram we get pictures of menus all the time i don't think that we've seen like an Aperol Spritz or espresso martini.

Those existed before they got crazy popular. I don't think in the era of this podcast. Yeah, it looks like it was invented. It was invented, and then now it's on menus everywhere. The Dirty Shirley probably always existed, right? Or did that come out of nowhere yeah that seems old that seems old but i'll tell you i uh when i'm out at a bar or something i'm never looking at what other people are drinking i'm just focused in on my thing i gotta just do a little side eye and see that's good mike you know they say compare and despair. Yeah, that's true. Oh, man, that guy's drinking a G&T.

That's what makes you jealous. Oh, man. I could have done that. You know what's funny about this Tim thing is, here's a drink that is like his namesake, and it took him that long to ever sip it. Whereas, you know, a drink like the Calpe Cordial, I heard about it from the,

the namesake. Does that make sense? No. Yeah. The namesake himself told it to you. It's like Johnny's dream. It's telling the bartender, Hey,

make me a Johnny's dream or Johnny. We think he was named Johnny. It's just funny. The different paths that drinks can have. Those are the, those are the paths I think. Yeah. Very exciting. And then a last little

quick bit that i wanted to mention a lot of slop heads sending me um this drink the tinto der tinto de verano verano tinto de verano new york times cooking uh recently posted a video on instagram about this drink this is essentially red wine and sprite you know we've done the cali mocho red wine and coke but this one is uh it's like new york times cooking said it's not summer without the tinto de verano but it is everybody this this this caught i mean it definitely is but it caught fire new york Times Cooking had a very viral little video with this. And it looks rather refreshing. And it looks like a little ABV.

Oh, it's got some sweet vermouth in it. And they made the lemon lime soda by like smashing on brines and stuff. But keep an eye out for that one because I've never heard of it. I'd never seen it. But when something gets this big on Instagram, maybe it'll trickle down to the bars. Yes, my mom sent me a picture of this for out of the New York Times. Tinto de Verona. Janie Haney?

It sounds similar to the drink of the day if you're mixing a clearish with a purplish. But I don't want to tip it. We won't go there just yet. No, no, no, no We'll certainly get there within mere seconds Booze is as complete as it not Yes, there's no content left But wrap it up

To me it's not complete unless I hear a sound effect Alright Very nice, Jeff. Very classy on your end. Thanks. Okay, okay. Today we are talking about the drink of the day. Oh! That sounds good. I'll have that. Now, do you two remember a couple...

Very good, Jeff. A couple weeks, a couple episodes ago, we had discussed, we were talking about Grimace, and we were talking about how Grimace was a 52-year-old taste bud. Right. Because he had a very popular drink a couple weeks ago. A couple weeks ago, the Grimace milkshake was...

June 12th, I think it came out. I had people tell me like, oh you should do the Grimace milkshake with booze in it or whatever and that would have been an understandable move for us to make. That would have been understandable. But instead on the podcast

we started talking about we said let's make a drink called Grimace Piss. That is, and I'll tell you what the... We didn't say this. I said it. We all agreed that it was something great. Let me, well, now that I've said the name of it, let me tell you what's in this drink. It is very simple to make, very easy to make.

Do one and a half ounce vodka. Then one ounce creme de cassis or Chambord or creme de more. You should have that if you've been making the drinks and you haven't gone all through your Bramble recipes. Now, Mike, you as the creator, which one are you going to do? I'm doing cassis. Okay. Cassis. I'm doing Chambord because I just got a fresh bottle.

Nice. I just got a fresh bottle too, so maybe I'll do Chambord. I love that bottle. Ooh. I want to see that bottle. I've never seen Chambord because I just got a fresh bottle. Nice. I just got a fresh bottle, too, so maybe I'll do Chambord. I love that bottle. I want to see that bottle. I've never seen Chambord before. Yeah, and then shake well with ice, pour into a rocks glass, and top off with Mountain Dew.

Okay. Okay, so we're topping off. Because the grimace is purple, piss piss is yellow this could be a brown drink i'm calling it now this could be around now this could be a brown drink i think i'm gonna make i think i'm gonna go if you're the creator and you're using cassis that's what i'm gonna do and it might have a better shot of being purple i feel like the chambord is purple but it'll disappear yeah yeah now somebody on on our twitter made these at home before we before we did the episode obviously and uh they look good they served them in a wine glass but i'm gonna say serving a rocks glass

now you know common wisdom would say this has mountain dew in it you don't want to release too much of the gas maybe we put it in a highball glass, but no, the creator, Mike Hanford says rocks glass. That's what I'm going to do. I got a big fat old fashioned rocks glass. It's going to be rocks glass. Definitely going to be rocks glass for us. Yeah. It's going to be, he's thought long and hard about it. Um, I, I, one, one other question about you thinking long and hard, have you had one of these? No, this is is and this is also what we talked about and at the time thought it was such a great idea so hopefully we still do think it's good as far as dialing in the specs for this we're tweaking the specs now when i came up

with the southern sipper or the calpe cordial or or you know jeff and his uh what was your mule called jay the yule mule yule m. Mike, even your root beer, Russian Root, these were tinkered within test kitchens. Some might say meticulously. Jeff and his molasses. We would hear explosions coming from his apartment. We'd see smoke coming out the chimney, and we'd go, Damn, not again.

You'd pull the goggles off your eyes, and there'd be the goggle shape on your eye. It was the molasses. I have to use less molasses you you walk over the whiteboard and like erase a negative one and put a zero oh now that's because jeff is a laboratory type tester mike you intellectualize it you were will hunting in the mirror writing numbers and just figuring it out but you didn't have to make it. Didn't have to make it. I just knew this would be something to...

And people are probably saying, oh, well, that was... The Grimace Shake was so last month. Well, we've got other drinks we want to make. We're just getting around to this now. And any of the haters can, quite frankly, screw themselves. Yep.

Yeah. Harsh words from the handman. They can take it away. Take their attitude away. Take it away. Fuck them and they could die. Haters, take it away. All right, well, let's take these things.

Take it away for segment two. Let's make these things. When we get back, I'm going to read you some of the uh the mcdonald's wiki fan page for grimace uh these are always funny no matter what franchise you get into because it's like oh that big blob of thing he's got a personality that you have yeah there's lore you can dig into it's great yeah well we'll get back to that all right folks uh we're gonna go make these drinks and we'll be right back after these messages and we're back grimace pisses in hand it doesn't look did. Did you stir yours?

Because I got a beautiful two-tone yellow top, purple bottom. Oh, I should have said stir. I stirred it. I don't have a two-toner. That's kind of a nice gradient. That is cool. So you guys, I did the sham board, which instantly disappeared. You guys did the thicker stuff?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I had another question for the creator i was like the thing about shaking those first two ingredients a lot of times when you do that in a cocktail it's because there's citrus that needs to be incorporated and strained in the group but now mike nodding sagely yes no when i'm shaking yes a liqueur and a vodka, it's interesting. I mean, I guess that's not wrong because you shake a martini. No. It's not wrong.

It's exactly what this drink needs. A lot of ways to skinny cat. And then also, hey, look at mine. I use the Chambord, and I've got like a nice cognac-y. It's not a gross brown. No, no, no. No, no. It's appetizing.

It's a rich brown. Mine's a deep purple. A deep purple. Like the band nice, it's a rich brown. Mine's a deep, a deep purple. A deep purple. Like the band? They're due for a comeback. I made one mistake, which is I accidentally at Albertsons reached into the case and pulled out a Diet Mountain Dew instead of- Oh, wow.

Wow, wow, wow. Sad. That's good. You can lose weight. The way these labels on these sodas are changing so much, you don't know what's diet anymore. Thank you. Yes. Let's dig in on that.

Hey, speaking of weird sodas, I was at Albertson's and I saw on the Coke rack, Ultimate Coke. They just call it Ultimate Coke. Whoa. What's that? Don't know. Oh, we'll have to try it out. Coke's been going crazy lately. They have the Coke Starlight and the Dream and the Rosalia one.

They're all over the place. This one just said Ultimate. Ooh. And I said, Ultimate or Best? I thought... Save it for the blowout. I thought of a funny... You know that new drink, Starry?

I mean, it used to be Sierra Mist. Yeah. I thought of a new tag for Sprite. It was like, Sprite, sorry not starry. Oh, very good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. All right, Sif.

Oh. I think we have a winner Jeff I don't know how it's going over there with Chambord but cassis it's come together with the Mountain Dew giving it sort of a muddy kind of flavor what did you top off with Mountain Dew yeah

well diet Mountain Dew. Mine is giving me a vibe of just drinking snow cone juice. It's giving corn syrup. Wow. If giving corn syrup is the vibe, this drink

is low-key goaded. Mike, when I was building this together, I was like, this could be, I think this is going to be really good. I think Mike might be like the Amadeus of drinks

and we're the Salieri's. Why would you think that? I do have a feeling by the end of this, you're going to be like, that was good. They're all flavors I like. Yeah.

They just, I don't know if they're cooperating. Well, the thing is, you know, we haven't worked out the specs with, like, maybe it should have been a taller glass, so you're getting more Mountain Dew taste. Like, as I drink this down, I'm going to keep adding. I don't know if that's what it needs. I think it needs something. So, wait a second. Are you two, you guys said you liked the individual taste are you mountain dew drinkers well i can drink a dew yeah i would do a do occasionally i haven't had a mountain dew in

my hand in a long time yeah it's good it's been a year i really don't i'm not a big mountain dew guy and i like this drink is called grimace piss purple for the liqueur and then piss is that because mountainu is yellow because it tastes like piss because i'll tell you once when i was a little kid i was at a hockey game i'll tell you once and i won't tell you again i won't repeat this only on the pod um i was at a montreal canadians game at the old forum yeah took a drink of of a drink like my brother or somebody handed me a drink and i and i thought somebody had pissed in my sprite i said what is it tastes like piss and they said no it's a mountain dew so i think i i associate mountain with urine urine flavor do you guys or

was this just because it's yellow well how did you did you just invent what you thought urine had tasted like or was there a previous incident? That's for me and my diaper to know. But I do think that if you're expecting, you know, according to I think you should leave if you're expecting cold gazpacho and when you get what did you burn yourself if you think you're getting a Heidecker thing too right oh it's in the Colgate hour

right right it wasn't ice cold it was room temperature so we thought it was piping hot that's so good if you're expecting sprite and you drink mountain dew it's gonna taste like piss you think piss gotcha uh a little update i just drank mine down like half really quick and added more mountain dew and it tastes better so i think serving it in a larger glass is a better idea because you get more of that

mountain dew yeah and it's more the size of a piss, too, that Grimace would take, so it's more fitting for canon. Yeah, I think this is an okay drink so far. And the Mountain Dew is such a summer I'm way too hot type drink. That's what I

drink in the summertime. What are you laughing at? You're trying to steer it positively. Normally... This was a wait for us to do the commentary. No, this is a group effort. Remember I said this was going to be one where we all are working together for one.

Yeah, yeah, no. Look, this will be one where round two is a real opportunity to sort of right the ship. Yep, yep. Right the wrongs. I think... No, the Mountain Dew thing I was just saying was more on when Tim was asking if I drink this. It's more of a, if like I'm out and I go to like a gas station, I was like, ooh, a Mountain Dew on this hot, hot day.

Truly, I associate them with Home Depot for me. Oh, interesting. Like whenever I'm out doing like errands, I'm like, hey, give me a do for the road you know it is so cool the mountain dew in the 90s was like we're gonna be like extreme sports that's gonna be our thing our whole thing we're nuts is it because it's because it has higher caffeine than other sodas is that why oh right and then they pivoted to gamers yeah right i associate it with gamers now because there's a lot of different

flavors of Mountain Dew. And I kind of also, yeah, I think of like, I guess, kind of a gamer getting some Baja Blast as well. Oh, God. I'm going to be up all night with this stuff. Well, you already took a three-hour nap today. Let me read you some grimace facts. Species, taste bud, hair color, purple, body type, rotund.

Large rotund taste bud and best friend of Ronald McDonald. Grimace is a Gemini. They use the word rotund twice? Yeah, it's in the character description. Appeared in various. Hold on, there was something really funny that made me laugh here uh large purple being blah blah the grimace sometimes goes for long periods of time without speaking and when he does speak he is known for saying duh before every sentence weird uh oh he originally

debuted as a large being with four arms and two legs and who loved milkshakes. After that first campaign, Grimace was reintroduced in his modern form. Oh, so he originally loved milkshakes. His arms reduced by two. Yeah. So that was a real return to form when they did the Grimace shake, which I'm looking at it now. It was a berry shake. I missed it.

What were the memes? Did you guys see this? which I'm looking at it now. It was a berry shake. I missed it. Did, what were the memes? Did you guys see this? There was like, people were like passed out with the grimace shake. Yeah. They're like, we're going to try the groomer shake and then it would cut to them and the

grip and the shake would be like splatter on the floor and they would be all like crumpled up. Yeah. I sort of described it as like the Blair witch look like kind of a, a, a, um, one light lighting up a scene and somebody just like

puking it on themselves or it turned them into like a little weird mutant and all their friends were dead around them. Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's some trivia. Grimace's birthday is June. He is purple. Though Grimace is occasionally no, sorry. Though Grimace is

canonically male, he has been portrayed by women. first Patty Saunders, then Terry Castillo. The current voice of Grimace is a voice actor, Daniel Ross, who has also voiced Donald Duck, amongst other characters. It has neither been confirmed nor denied that Gritty, the NHL mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers, is the same species as Grimace. It has neither been confirmed nor denied. Well, is he a taste bud? It's not confirmed nor denied. He might have a crush on Birdie. He almost resembles Mr.

Munch from Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza. Almost. It's a near miss. Grimace has a canonical uncle, Uncle O'Grimacy, who is green. He looks like Grimace, but he's green. Gritty is not a taste bud. I'm looking at Gritty and he's just pear-shaped. That's the only thing he's got going on.

But this whole thing of who knew there was any thought put into what Grimace was. Yeah. It's funny. He started it as the villain. I remember seeing the commercial was like, who's stealing their stuff? The Ronald and the Fry kids were like, oh, there's a being in the woods. They treated him like a Sasquatch or something. And there was like creepy POV shots from Grimace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he ended up just being like one of the gang, I guess. When did he show up? They didn't say what his first. 1971, the evil Grimace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he ended up just being like one of the gang, I guess. When did he show up? They didn't say what his first... 1971, the evil Grimace, it says. Oh, shit. Damn. I liked when the McDonald's did those commercials

with all the little, the chicken nuggets head personalities. Oh, yeah. And they would like, I just remember them like in parachutes in one of them, jumping out. Oh, yeah. It was back when they had the nugget figures, and And they would like, I just remember them like in parachutes and one of them jumping out. Yeah. It was back when they had the nugget figures and it would like, one would come with a snorkel or one would come with a cowboy hat or whatever. And then Ronald would like, I remember the one, they open up a castle and he'd be like, hey guys, what's going on in here? And they'd be like, we're doing experiments and stuff.

I don't know. We're making Grimace piss. But it reminded me of like Fraggle Rock or something. They were all like little puppets. That's cool. Bring them back. That's one of those things, you know, in cartoons, you know, the big one is like in the Mickey Mouse world, there's Mickey and Goofy, and Goofy's a dog,

and then Pluto's also a dog. Who doesn't? He's like a pet. But with, yeah, with McDonald's, Ronald was like friends with the things he would eat, I guess. Because the Fry Guys are fries, the chicken nuggets are nuggets, and Bertie is also going to be a nugget. Yeah, but I thought the Fry Guys were, oh yeah, Bertie's a Bert. I thought the Fry Guys were like little pom-pom looking things.

Yeah, but they're fries. Oh, really? Fry Guys. I thought they just eat fries. Hold on. Oh, yeah. I'm looking up fry guys, and we'll check them out. Okay. Yeah, you're right. Thank you.

The only guy who's not getting eaten is Ronald, by the sound of it. Yeah. But it's weird. They are kind of, the fry guys, they're all different colors. Are those blue fries? No. No, they're not fries. They're just of, the Fry Guys, they're all different colors. Are those blue fries? No. No, they're not fries. They're just little pom-poms I'm seeing. Well, here, I'm on Fry Kids.

Species Goblins. What the fuck? Made to look like French fries. I don't know what that means. Male and female. Friends, Captain Cooks. Okay. Oh, wow.

Captain Cooks. I remember him, too. Weird. Yeah, I never saw Captain saw captain cooks and then who's this there's some old guy with a civil war type mustache didn't know that guy is that captain cooks well there's a pirate looking guy furry monsters who steal and promote mcdonald's french fries who steal and promote Who's stealing promote? Yeah, I don't know.

That's weird. Who comes up with this stuff? Captain Crook is different from Hamburglar. So why do they all start off as villains? Captain Crook's, yeah. It's very Dragon Ball. I think it's like they were probably like, hey, we're doing a Muppets thing,

but the Muppets are all sweet. Let's have all of ours be villains. This is funny with Captain Crook's little stats. Species, human. Gender, male. Nationality, American. Height, 5'6". Nobody else had heights on theirs. He's a Napoleonic figure.

Oh, McDonaldland pirate who steals fish fillet sandwiches. Yeah, he's stealing stuff too. Body type, lean and muscular. Good. Great for Captain. So it's like Mayor McCheese stuff, too. Body type, lean and muscular. Good. Great for the captain. So it's like Mayor McCheese is the only guy who stands for law and order. Yeah. He's similar in appearance to the famed Captain Hook from the 1953 Disney film Peter Pan.

Yeah, okay. Wow. So much history. Yeah. Wow. It doesn't stop. Hey, wait a minute these fry guys i just see a uh the you know the cricket wireless uh campaign they have those little like furry ball guys

that's that's showing up in my uh banner next to the fry kids he looks like a fucking fry kid he escaped i thought you were getting an ad for it like i showed interest in the fry guys and they think i might like like oh maybe you'd like cricket wireless i do show interest in the fry guys more than i ever have in other days the graph for this there would be a giant spike on this yeah well let's take it back to the drink for a second now that you sat with it we have more of a mature uh good more of a mature point of view on it. Okay. Well, after drinking a lot of it, I'm still getting a lot of Cassis.

Creme de Cassis and Creme de Mora are troubling. I feel like Chambord sounds nicer than these. This is kind of mucky, muddy. Are you getting swamp scum? I'm kind of getting swamp scum out of this. I wish I had some swamp or some depth Because this is just like a big old sweetie

Sweetie? I would say, Jeff, where are you in your drink? Let me see Pour more Mountain Dew in there Do you have Mountain Dew handy? No Remember, this is what we said we were going to do Oh, I'll grab more Mountain Dew

And now it's just, oh, Mike fucked everything up. No, no, no. I'm going to grab more Mountain Dew. Good. Well, Tim, how are you? God, got to kill time here. I'm real good. I was on the East Coast. I had a wonderful time. I saw you. We had a great time.

You got a great shirt on, by the way. Oh, thank you. It's got a very cool vibe to it but it's sparse it's more white with little less is more is what i say when it comes to this shirt it kind of it kind of reminds me of like uh the saved by the bell opening graphics oh yeah i see that it's very it's also got a little joey gladstone to it yeah oh cut it. Okay. Cut me off. Oh, yeah. Tim, I learned that that design is called Memphis.

Memphis? I don't know why. That sort of like 90s squiggle, all that. Yeah, yeah. Color blocks. It's not very Memphis, Tennessee. Agreed. I don't know why it's called that. Memphis Grease, maybe.

I got something I want to say. Well, Jeff, you taste that, and then I'll have something I want to say. Ew, yours looks really pissy now. Unhealthy piss. Swamp piss. Better? Better. It gets better.

Better, right? Swamp piss from a frog bog. Yeah, I got some ideas. What drink did I say tasted like a frog bog? Yeah, what was the frog bog I drink? I wonder if it was a one of these creme de cassis drinks and no i think it was before that that feels like it was like a year ago he was it something with a bunch of mint in it it was like we did put a green thing in it

i forget what were you gonna say jeff would you say you had some ideas i got some ideas i while i was out on my adventures i got a mountain dew and i also got a sprite because i'd like to see what this looks like just purple look i know we're supposed to be like grimaces purple and then pisses sure but that's who that came we came up with that or you know in a second in a split second well it's kind of like how our piss is like a combination of piss color and our skin color. Very true. Yeah. You're always pissing some of your pigment.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, so I'm going to go Sprite. And then I'm torn. Do I go creme de more or do I stick with Chambord? Try creme de more so you can have the swamp taste I'm talking about. But, you know, just be careful that when you go to drink this spray you don't accidentally drink the mound do because you might think it's urine oh god common misconception i i think is when i

enter the test kitchen again not for this drink i need to just stay away from oh yeah you put something with soda and it's a drink it's not always a drink i mean that was the russian root which i like but a lot of people there's got to be more to it a lot of people do like it's good well there's a lot to it because you you did if vodka mountain dew that would be pretty straightforward but then you said creme de cassis maybe less creme de cassis is needed here's the thing that i've been wanting to say which is i this drink came out an odd shade of purple so not really but i was looking at the um grimace shake and it was purple and i was sort of thinking i feel like there's a purple moment happening remember a millennial pink

and then and then even like there's sort of a gen z color scheme that's also sort of like washed out and and yeah and faded yellow yellow or pink as well but wouldn't you say lavender haze a grimace shake yeah and i don't know if you saw we talked a lot about jeff's rivalry with olivia rodrigo but right the new vampire the olivia rodrigo song is fantastic and it's got a little bit she's wearing this like lavender purpley band date on her neck and i think the background is lavender too i don't know if she's revealed the album cover for guts yet maybe she did i feel like she has this sort of black and white with little pops of purple i think you know we mike said keep an eye out for

stings revival i'm saying summer 2023 the sloppy boys were drizzling our blackberry liqueurs and takirs and stuff like that just in time for the lavender haze summer and there's a lot of light purple out there interesting can i hold on oh Tim, this is going to blow your mind. And Jeff, hold on. Look at the current background on my phone. Put this on last week. Okay. Light purple.

Light purple. This is getting weird. This is getting weird. Connect the dots, but be careful how far deep you go. Now look at my phone case that I bought at the Apple store on New Year's Day. Dark purple, like Grimace. That's right. And the person helping me at the Apple store near the Bowery Hotel said,

this is the cool new case color, dark purple. And I said, give it to me. Damn. Damn. Well, I heard that the new Apple phone is purple. Or my mom got a new purple phone. She's very excited about it. Damn.

My Lake Girl t-shirt is purple. My Lacoste polo is purple. This is getting weird. I don't know if I have any purple clothes. I got to go to the store tomorrow, get purple clothing. Don't you have a Lakers jersey that's purple? I used to. Fuck. That was a good shirt. It didn have a Lakers jersey that's purple? I used to. That was a good shirt.

It didn't say Lakers to it. It just said Los Angeles in the Lakers font. It was great. Damn. Fucking gone. I haven't found my two missing shirts. My yellow Pacifico t-shirt and my white Cuban shirt with the pink and blue stripe. Damn.

Were they stolen out of the laundry? That's happened to me, Tim. Yeah, but he's got laundry in unit. I got laundry in unit. Oh, fuck. Maybe it's a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde situation. After a couple of grimace pisses, I steal my own laundry.

I went to the, I got my laundry done the other day. I was like, I don't have time for this. So I went to the laundromat, dropped it off, and I said, can you guys take care of this?

And it was great. And I got it back. And I put my clothing away. I found a pair of ladies underpants in it. Oh, Michael. These I got to go. Did you just throw them away or did you try and return?

I threw them away. I didn't want to. Just a couple good sniffs? I threw them away. I didn't want to. Just a couple of good sniffs and you threw them away. I didn't want to. No. I didn't want to go back and be like, I found these. I found these. I mean, not like I know anything about underwear pricing, but they didn't look like particularly nice. I think these are just going in the garbage.

I don't know if anyone's gonna come looking for this pair i um i was dropping my my underwear off at fluff and fold recently and i had an interesting conversation with the lady she was like okay so this underwear i was like yeah yeah yeah great let's talk she was like it's kind of right on the line i can't decide was this is this supposed to be brown or white because it's pretty 50 50 and i had to hold them up i like were these originally brown or was it should we because she's like i could make them all brown if that's the original color and then i had to look and i said no i think when i bought them they were more white there so we we went white with them now did you have a conversation like this with each uh article

you brought in yeah yeah took a long time to drop it off. She's deciding which color to dye all of my clothes. That was good. Hey, you know how I've been on Duolingo doing Spanish? Oh, yeah, yeah. I got 225 days straight. That's how many I've done every single day. And when I went into the laundromat, the woman there spoke Spanish. So I was trying to speak some Spanish.

It worked. Yeah? It worked? I was able to communicate somewhat. I had to give my phone number because they had to put me in the system. So I did my phone number. At first, she was like, no, that's not in our system. And I was like, oh.

And then I was like, oh, yes. I'm saying that one number wrong dang and then i said uh and you know the words for white and brown stop it and then i said and then i couldn't uh i said a key like these here and then something else and then i said said have a great day afterwards. Desfruta tus dia. Enjoy your day. I love it. And she smiled and said gracias.

That's great. Yeah, it was great. I felt like, wow, I'm actually learning something and I'm like, sometimes when I'm out and about and I hear people speaking Spanish, I can kind of pick up a word or two. That's great. Yeah. Me on Duolingo? Zero days. What are you trying?

Spanish? I'm not trying anything. Zero days. Tim, what are you trying? Greek? Here's the thing. Try Greek. I was thinking about trying Greek.

I had some big designs to go to Greece this summer, and then I never booked the trip, but I was like, maybe I start. What's happening over there, Dan? I spilled La Croix on my dick. What the hell do you have La Croix on was like, maybe I starved. What's happening over there, Jeff? I spilled LaCroix on my dick. What the hell do you have LaCroix on? I did. I saw it. You looked straight down at your dick, and I figured that's

where it went. Why did you have... Jeff, I gotta say, look, this is getting better. This is good, this drink. Can I tell you something? I have had nearly zero food today, so this thing is hitting me real nice. Yeah.

Getting me a little crunky drunky. Jeff's doing squats. Are you rubbing your dick on the chair to dry it off? Here's the thing. I'm in my boxers, right? Oh, jeez, Jeff. Nasty. There's Zoom culture.

There's LaCroix all over the seat, and I was like, well, I'm just going to use my wet boxers to sop up the rest of the spilled LaCroix. So I'm scrubbing my butt around my computer chair trying to sop up the rest of the LaCroix. Well, hold on. Why don't we take a break for a round two? You get a paper towel and do this legitimately. Yeah. Or a real towel.

Sit on a real towel. Well, yeah. Are you going to change anything? Because I have grand designs for this drink. Okay. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do same amount of vodka. Should I do a little less cassis?

No, same amount of cassis. I'm just going to put it in a bigger glass. I'm switching to a nice highball glass. Yeah. Me too. Okay, great. And maybe I'll do, Jeff, should I do Chambord or cassis? What would you?

Maybe like you switch it, and then I'll switch it also, and then we can have like a good cross-section. Meet in the middle. Great. All right, folks, we'll be right back after this. I'm excited for this round. Oh, yeah. And we're back. Round two, Gr in hand bigger i went highball glass cassis yeah highball glass moore um same measurements but sprite and then jeff technically that's not

a highball glass gotta call you out it's a palm pomegranate juice jar yes a palm wonderful tea jar. This is the way to do it. It's still not the purple I want it to be. It's a little still red brown. Really? I think it looks like what would come in a pome, like a cranberry juice or something, or pomegranate juice.

Pomegranate. Pomegranate. Ooh. Good. Still very sweet. It's a sweet drink. I mean, that's what it is. That's just what it is. It's a soda. Still very sweet. It's a sweet drink. I mean, that's what it is. That's just what it is.

It's a soda. So stop complaining. I like this way better. You like soda, don't you? Drink it up. I like the highball gave me more soda. And even though I don't really like Mountain Dew, Cassis, I mean, Chambord this time.

Chambord, I much prefer it to Cassis. It's less pond muck and it's more robitussin but i'm fine with that i don't i'm not getting pond muck at all two good tastes you know i almost i almost made a uh a variant which uh i haven't i never had yet a uh tgp a tequila grimace piss but i end up not it. I don't think anyone's ever had that. No. Yeah. TGPs for me and the guys. Well, should we wind into our final thoughts?

Sure. Mike, you want to kick us off? I'll kick you off. We should even change this on the graphic, Jeff. Highball glass. Highball glass. Oh, it's the way to go. Highball glass.

It's the way to go. Because you want more of the Mountain Dew. This is in order again. Thisball glass. Highball glass. Oh, it's the way to go. Highball glass. It's the way to go. Because you want more of the Mountain Dew. This is an order again. This is great. I really like this. I think people are going to try this and enjoy it. Just know it's sweet. Just know it's sweet. It's sweet. Okay?

It's sweet. I'll give you that, Mike. It is sweet. Mike, when you order a port, you know the port's going to be sweet. You don't complain that port was sweet. Right. But it really does taste like a snow cone, and which is such a summery thing. You like to do. You love it. You want more of it.

You drink it now. Ooh, it's great. Yeah, this is okay. Mike, I've got to say, this does not make it into the order again category for me this time. Okay, okay. Jeff doesn't want to order again. Okay, okay. It's a no for me, dog.

Right, yeah. So Jeff says no, I'm going to order again. Tim, what do you think? Oh, well, I'm going to order two more then. I'll have Jeff's. Mike, you might need to order three more because, look, I love you. You're a hell of a guy. No.

I just stayed with you. I just stayed with you in your apartment. You set me up on the couch. You put on the idol for me, even though you don't watch the idol. Never watched it, my my guest needed to watch you're a hell of a guy you got great hospitality you this is not an order again nor for the listener i say it's actually not an order of the first time not at all this is not order at all it's a forego holy Holy shit. And it's because of the presence of the Mountain Dew.

What I will say is when I switched to Chambord and when I switched to the highball glass, it got a lot better. So folks, some sort of Chambord spritz, some sort of maybe even these specs, but with club soda instead of Mountain Dew. There's something in there. There's something in there. There's something in there.

Well, and that's exactly, you know, I'm joking around. This isn't a defeat on me. This is not my L. I'm not posting this L. Because this was a Test Kitchen episode. Yeah. And we're learning what this is. This is not my fault.

It's not my fault. There's no fault to be had, Mike. No, there's no fault to be had. We're learning something here. This isn't definitive. Also, this might be one of those drinks, you know, how like, I can't think of a good example, but a drink is just like, oh yeah, that's a tiki drink. This is just like any purple drink is just a grimace piss drink.

Yeah. From now on. Tim, I think you nailed it. Club soda, vodka soda, nice and tall, with some Chambord in it. That's a Grimace Piss. Yeah. Now, folks, if you made the Grimace Piss and you like it, hit us up with that hashtag Grimace Piss Can't Miss. And if you don't like it, hit us up with...

Fuck you guys to hell. Grimace Piss Whiff. Grimace Piss Whiff. And Grimace, piss, whiff. And also tag McDonald's and let them know. Sure. Let them know. And, you know, why not? Tag 100 Gags.

Sure. Love those guys. Great band. Don't want to see more from them. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, you know, to go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys, where more and more people join every day.

Hell yeah. It's pretty good. We're talking about McDonald's this week. Mmm. The home of Grimace himself. Yes, that's right. Was that? That sounded like maybe somebody's recording.

Was that on your end? What the hell? I heard it. Freeze to me, you sloppy boys. What the fuck? It is I, the Freezer. What? What?

You'll have to excuse my violent interruption, for I come to you in a time of great need. into interruption, for I come to you in a time of great need. You see, for one such as I, the summer is no time to celebrate. It's too hot. Too many degrees for to freeze.

I've been listening to your show, hoping to discover the drink that will help me beat the heat once and for all. But none of them have been cold enough. I'm hoping to discover the drink that will help me beat the heat once and for all. But none of them have been cold enough. I need something colder than a dish of revenge. Oh, what?

Could you find it in your warm heart to help me. Pretty freeze. Oh, great. What the fuck? Who was that? Mr. Freezy? I think it was the freeze-ster. Oh, that's what you think it is. I thought it was going to be the trickster, but it was the freeze-ster. Whoa. Too many degrees for the freeze.

Okay, so the freeze-ster wants a cold drink in the summertime. Yeah, this is a tough time for that person. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, every drink I've ever had has been cold. It's a very small handful, but... No, no.

Colder. Colder. She wants colder, colder. Okay. What's the coldest drink you could even think of? That's interesting. I mean, we've talked about there's been a trend the last couple of years. colder colder way extreme what's the coldest drink you could even like think of yeah that's interesting i mean we've talked about there's been a trend last couple years there's been there's been a lot of frozen jack shram told us in manhattan last summer a lot of frozen drinks

we've been talking about we've never done the a frozen margarita on the show texas invention 1970s we did a frozen drink at one point, but I forget what it was. Was it pina colada was the only time I remember busting out the old food processor. What's like a big clickable one? And I also don't think that we need to just do whatever freak invades the show wants. Right, I mean, we have to decide

whether we're going to negotiate with this terrorist. Yeah. We don't just do whatever. No. How did they get on our airwaves is what I'm thinking. Tapped into it. They tapped in. They tapped in. Yeah, they tapped in. And it's from an unknown sender so I can't track it. Right. Unknown sender

tapped in. Okay. Oh, unknown sender tapped in okay oh unknown center tapped in yes well i had a frozen painkiller once at uh at a bar out there mike superpower great frozen painkiller and also broken compass out here does frozen painkillers guys and a painkiller this is a classic tiki drink and i mean i i gotta be honest i feel like if uh what are we talking i'm i'm googling i i'm guessing it's a it's a it's a don the beach comer but no it's a it's something else but it's a it's a it's a classic tiki drink that is on many a menu it's sort of it's sort of a pina colada but with little oj and nutmeg okay so wait is this what the drink we should be doing next well as long as it's cold okay it seems like it would be cold but also i'm not worried about the freezer

i want to know what's clickable what's going to expand the reach of the pod right worried about the freezer we want to make some dime the the pod right worried about the free stir we want to make some dime the hell i am worried about the free stir i gotta say what do i do my favorite blendy drinks what i mean i i like when you're on bourbon street new orleans and there's all those frozen daiquiri places you get like a 151 daiquiri that's frozen but i also think what we've done the margarita and the Tommy's margarita, but we've never done the frozen marg. Yeah, that sounds pretty good.

Sounds pretty good. A daiquiri, also just a normal strawberry daiquiri sounds good. Strawberry daiquiri. Interesting. A lot of good ways, a lot of ways it could go. Can we make those at home? A daiquiri at home? Do you have a blender?

Oh yeah. A daiquiri at home? Do you have a blender? Oh, yeah. A daiquiri for Zachary. A blender with a crushed ice setting. A blender for Bender. Well, we'll have to convene and talk about what we should do for next week. Yeah. Fun, though. Fun challenge

from this hacker. That is fun. That's exciting to have a new hacker terrorist kind of give us a fun assignment. But again, not really feeling like they were too upset. Yeah, well, she came in a time of need. Yeah, not a threat yet. So it feels like maybe under different circumstances, it would be more antagonistic. Okay, so we have to sort of worry about that now.

Now, I feel like we did a Patreon episode of The Blow last summer about beating the heat. And I said that I beat the heat by going to the beach. What did you guys say? We don't even remember. I think I said... Tim, you know we're drunk for The Blow. Don't ask us questions like these.

Yeah, yeah. I'm drunk right now. Didn't eat any food today. You gotta eat the food. Dang. You gotta eat the food. It's delicious. You know what I wish I could have right now?

A big mortadella sub. Oh. Oh. Oh. Mortadella sub. Do you think I could door dash a Mortadella sub from anywhere? I say you do it at the top of The blowout and we'll see

Check the progress on it Nah Come on fire up the sub tracker Yeah Alright well good episode guys And I guess we'll have to figure out The coldest drink for next week Yes oh and folks At Chicago I'm gonna be doing guys and I guess we'll have to figure out the coldest drink for next week. Yes. Oh and

folks, Chicago I'm going to be doing Chicago the Lincoln Lodge, Mike Hanford doing stand up, headlining set hour long, July 28th and 29th. See ya out there. Nice. And hey don't forget about the listening parties for the Sloppy Boys and Duts.

Duts. Yeah, this is going to be a wild time. Bye folks. Bye, folks. Bye.