The Sloppy Boys - 147. Spiked Watermelon

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

The guys try that thing where you cut a hole in a watermelon and stick a bottle of vodka in there.SPIKED WATERMELON RECIPE:Inject or insert one pint bottle (375ml) of vodka into a whole watermelon. Allow melon to rest refrigerated for 24 hours before serving. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? We're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys Band. Altogether, West Coast Stylies, man. Tim Kalpakis. What is up? We are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys Band. All together, West Coast Stylies, man.

You love it, folks. You love when we're all together. Admit that you like it. Admit that you like this show. That's why you listen. Go online and admit you like this show. Yeah. If you like the show,

go in the comments of our Instagram and just admit it. Don't even just keep it for Instagram. Go out and tell people. Admit it to them. Don don't be coy if you're catholic go to confession say father ah father i i like the show and he says what is up oh you're a slob head too he's listening to it too. Yes, I like to boogie. I wish they'd done communion wine. Father. What's going on with YouTube? We got the... YouTube?

Yeah, what is going on with YouTube? The stock prices. I know they got the Lazy Sunday videos on there. The first video ever. I know for a fact that's on there. I know that they have the live action simpsons title sequence man i remember early early ass youtube and just typing in

anything and being amazed that they had being like i don't know weezer buddy holly it's here they have it and then you know like everything else stuff was quickly making its way onto youtube in those first like weeks and months it felt with YouTube it was like it was anything would be on there and then they were cracking down and everything kind of got called off of it. Right. And then it got uploaded legit. Yeah. Then it was like oh music videos

are the actual official music video is back on but it's like done through the proper channel. I don't know. Vivo. Vivo. They were calling it for a while. Yeah. Vivo. Does that stand for something video exciting videos whoa oh oh not whoa whoa oh well summer's still in full swing yeah it really is it's one of the warmer seasons top four i gotta say it's it's getting a little old at this point, do you think? No.

Well, you just need a refreshing treat, Mike. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Already peaking. You know, I feel like we, well, at least in LA, we still have like 100 months of summer left. We're going to probably have a sizzly Thanksgiving. I can't adopt that enough of summer mentality just yet.

I got to stick it out. Yeah, I don't have enough of summer. But this moment, I i do i feel hot it's nice to grab the bull by the horns really do summer up so that then when those leaves start to change you ah yeah you got no regrets i'm done with that with the green leaf stuff yeah well i still feel like it's kind of starting up out here in la yeah because we had june gloom which sucks sucks. And May gray. May gray. Yeah. And so I also have to remind myself though,

Jeffy, take your time. Cause it stays hot until Halloween. Sometimes even Thanksgiving. I don't want to be presumptuous to point this out, but it's a little convenient that we're saying, Oh, summer in LA was a little,

you know, across America was kind of boring and kind of cooled off. And then the Sloppy Boys album dropped and things got so, things heated up. And now there's a summer swelter. Is that, I mean, I don't want to be the one that you connect the dots here, but it's pretty clear. Summer swelter is more like on the billboard charts. That's where people are seeing the summer swelter. Yeah, they're getting overwhelmed.

Could we be another scorcher do we have to be does your music have to be released on a major label to be on the billboard 100 i don't think so what do they base it on i think it does because that's what they're tracking it's like radio plays or something oh right it is actually just the numbers it's an algorithm of dumb shit but like like, I don't know. What about like a, is there like a surprise chance? The rapper mixtape must have been on there, right? Well,

like something that forces its way onto radio. Like back when we were kids, I remember, um, like certain songs would be requested a lot, even though they weren't technically singles. Can I think of one? No,

I want to say it's, is it called sound scan that does the analytics that like whatever their rubric is? Yeah. Hmm. We're not going to say it's, is it called SoundScan that does the analytics? Like whatever their rubric is. Yeah. We're not going to look it up. Like Rubric Murdoch. I want to say like Surf. Stop that. Why?

Why not have a little fun with the name? Why not have a little fun with the name? Because I don't see how it's fun. You change Rupert to Rubric. You just said Rubric. Yeah, I know, but why Murdoch? He said it. Why Murdoch?

Because it sounds like Rupert, does it not. Yeah, I know, but why Murdoch? He said it. Why Murdoch? Because it sounds like Rupert, does it not? Yeah, I know, but he's- Does rubric not sound like Rupert? Fuck, you're right. Of course I'm right. I wish it weren't true. I caught him dead to rights on this thing. Hey, Tim, I'll allow it.

Yeah, no, I'll take the L. I'll post the L. You'll post the L. i don't even post my wish i was flying the w though what is my latest let's make a pact from now on w's only yeah yeah www.websites i'll post my w's www.two w's on that one. Why did they make, with the internet, why is it WWW? The longest letter we have to say. Worldwide W. George W. Bush.

Just say Walker. George Walker Bush. George Walker Bush. What was it? Herman Walker was his dad? Yeah. Herbert? Herbert?

Probably. Herbert West. Did you see? I think he was Walker too, right. Yeah. Herbert. Herbert. Probably. Herbert West. Did you see? I think he was Walker too, right? Oh, yes. I don't very often share memes that are like not mine or my friends, but just see a funny meme and then share it. And sometimes you say this one's too good.

Sometimes you say this one got me and you want to give it up for the meme and you share it. And I'll say on my Instagram stories, I don't know about you guys but without fail if i share something from like a stranger it does way better than anything i'm posting it's road tested it's right i mean it appealed to me so and i'm and i'm passing along but um there was this is just so simple but you know the meme of the guy leaning into george w bush's ear to whisper about 9-11 i a lot of those make me laugh and have for years it's a classic format but somebody wrote above that just like hey no rush but whatever whenever you're ready i could dip like i could dip whenever you're ready like just like

if you're at a party and you're and you're your friends driving that small thing we've all said a million times but to see it put on an innocuous thing just george w which is dumb eyes hearing about 9-11 be like my friend's ready to dip ain't no rush but whatever you guys say dip i like that i haven't said it yet before i like to say bail or bounce yeah i could bounce i could scoot i used to be around 95 000 in uh in college a lot would just like you peacing oh yeah like i'm gonna peace out uh another funny meme not even a meme just like a funny reels i saw that i couldn't help repost was the kid in the back seat with all those waters from fast food places oh that's really funny and he's panicking like guys what are we doing how do we need this much water for all of it and then he's like slow

down there's a speed bump and then you see him get rocked by this speed bump, and he's holding 16 extra large waters that splash in his face. He can see what's coming. He's like, no, no. He's realizing he's been had, but it's so good. That's really funny. I saw one of this kid. It was like a front-facing camera kid.

Like a little kid. He's probably like, I don't know, know 12 and he was just like okay guys i'm here um i'm at the beach and uh i just want to say thanks for checking in and uh thanks everyone for following and he had nothing to say and i looked at his other videos and they're more the same it's just like oh hey uh again here i am i'm at school. How's everyone doing? He's doing just the frosting parts. Just the like. Oh, like and subscribe and see you next time. It is all that.

It was all that. It was all that. No, I wanted to sing the all that theme song, but I couldn't remember how it went. All that. All that. So put your booty in the chair. Just don't go nowhere. Everything we do, it's all of that.

I think that was Da Brat was the all that nice person. You know that I interviewed to be the head writer of the all that reboot? Oh, yeah. I heard about that when I was going. Did that ever happen? I mean, not that you got the job, but did anyone do that? Yes, and they did a bad job and it bombed. What happened?

I mean, even when i was in the job interview they treated it like it was it was this show that like you know was revered you know they're like oh my god we're bringing it back we're bringing it back i was like i don't fuck i mean it's cool you want to make a sketch show it's making funny we don't have to be true they were they had like some original writers in the meeting i was like put these fucking geezers in the grave wow wow but they're great people they're good people yeah he says this with a strike happy i mean i got to imagine that it was toothless coming back like they used to make like suicide jokes and stuff

didn't they really yeah i feel like i feel like old all that well in the 90s we just had no sensitivity for anything yeah yeah oh we were so we were just done, in the 90s, we just had no sensitivity for anything. Yeah, yeah. We were just done. It was the 90s, man. Grunge was happening. We were over it. Yeah, never mind. We didn't need the big hair. We didn't need Reaganomics fucking with us so much.

We didn't? We didn't want anything trickling down to us, okay? We were picking up on the bullshit. The only thing we wanted to trickle down was Surge Soda into our stomachs. That's right. And a few years later, Surge Tankian. Surge Tankian? Surge Tankian.

Yeah, that was sort of a page turn moment for the culture when Surge Soda gave way to Surge Tankian. That's when the 90s gave way to the 2000s. Yeah, when they tagged out. Surge Tankian is Power power man 5000 right no system of a down why do i i've done it twice now on this podcast system of down yes yes power man 5000 did uh this is what it's like when worlds collide yeah shit i gotta bring that song back bring it back put it on the radio more do it like now that taylor did cruel summer it's open season for all these old songs song back on yeah why the fuck not we should bring back tom collins shit we should bring back

yeah this new version tim's version could be a hit if that if that had been the vocal i have thought about that i wouldn't Yeah, this new version. Tim's version. If I ever meet a coming... Could be a hit if that had been the vocal. I have thought about that. I wouldn't... Could be a hit. I wonder if Tom... Tom Conn's very good song.

I'm really screaming that song, and I like that, and some certain weirdo slap heads like it. But imagine if it... If I ever... Or it was auto-tuned, and it was a crisp vocal. Could be good.

Yeah. I'll tell you what, that's a good live song. When we play that live, watch out. It's a ripper. It's a ripper. And I always say, not too fast. We always do it a little too fast.

I don't care what Jim says. Off the new album, what have you guys been pumping lately? Are there any sleeper hits? What song are you most proud of? Bulls, Run With The Bulls is the sleeper hit. Yeah. I agree. That was sort of one that uh that was the grower when i'm listening to the album back now i'm like oh yeah it is a

bouncy it's got energy yeah it's good what you need you really do need good to be cool that's a good one yeah that's nice to still have the punk thing going good to be cool to me sounds like that there's a sloppy boy son that sounds like... Not even punk. There's a Sloppy Boys song. That sounds like a real... Yeah. It's a little wink to Huey Lewis, but then it's also some sloppy punk going on. But if anyone's listening to the album saying,

oh, the Sloppy Boys went a new direction, turned over a new leaf. Well, I'd say, what about this song? That's meat and potatoes, slops. Also, Yuppie Man. Yuppie Man. Yuppie Man's close. Yeah, that's meteor in potato ear.

That's got that sort of classical music vibe I like so much, Also, Yuppie Man. Yuppie Man. Yuppie Man's close. Yeah, that's meteor in potato ear. Yep. That's got that sort of classical music vibe I like so much, where Mike writes a song. Sure, there's some weird structural things. Yeah. But it fucking rips. There's going to be one extra line usually on something. Yeah, sometimes there's five measures just because. Because he's punk rock, baby.

Baby. The epitome. Well, is there any booze news? We might as well tackle it. Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. Booze news. See how I can sing when I really put my heart into it? I know.

Booze news. It's the right key. You found the right key. That's my key. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it.

Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it.

Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Bye. Wow. Nice. Very good. Comedy Booze News was sent to us by Chris Finke. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to the Sloppy Boys Podcast

at gmail.com. That was a good one. That was a mashup. It had Gardens of Gamora and Summer E eclipse and there was a it was there was a podcast theme it was also referencing a podcast theme yes wait i know which one for all the pod heads out there yeah sure cereal i'm a major pod head s town um that did kind of give me nickelodeon vibes now that we were just talking about it. It felt a little bit like Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. Yeah.

Which is kind of a doo-wop song. Nickelodeon. That's what we're doing. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. It was cool when Nickelodeon and MTV both like their commercials and stuff just had weird stuff. Weird shit. Well, like they both had that thing where the logo changes all the time.

Like Nickelodeon, their thing was just like, it's orange. And so it could be a blimp. It could be a slime splat. It could be like a basketball or whatever. There's a great documentary on it called the orange years. Did you watch it? I did. Yeah.

I want to say it was a Hulu doc, but man, that was a great, you know, if you're a nineties kid, man, it's like they do 10 minutes on rug rats, 10 minutes on Doug,

10 minutes on, are you afraid of the dark? They just pepper right along and hit all the the all the like little member berries for you uh i i would be curious on something like are you afraid of the dark everyone sounded canadian like uh oh hey dude was that too right yeah just like where'd they shoot these who are these people where they get them was it like uh you know low budget was it like kind of skimming the almost like maybe unflagging the wire for the unions and stuff was it they shoot i'm sure it was non-union and i'm sure it was all in orlando probably back in

those days they they have a hollywood studio that's been there for a while but i feel like in those days that's a florida show probably uh okay want to talk about booze news please this one we're trying to get ahead of the cusp uh get on the head of the curve on the cusp of the curve this is not some huge trend but this is a slop head cam carter alerted me to this have you guys heard of gin and jam gin and jam gin and jam is it jam like the jelly what it sounds like jelly gin like um uh cam carter sent me this video uh an instagram video from an account named hello have a seat and she made a video where she took you know the brand of jam it's's called Bon Maman, I think. Oh, yeah. It's got like a gingham top, red and white checkered top.

It's almost like a calligraphy handwritten. Yes. I have some in the fridge. It's delicious. I'm looking at a bomb and mom. B-O-N-N-E, bone. Oh, meaning good. M-A-M-A-N.

It's like a red and white gingham cap. Does that mean like good mother or something? Probably. It's a very, it looks like a picnic thing. Hmm? Okay, this guy is typing on his phone. He's texting. He's buried in his mobile. I fucking didn't hear the other,

how to spell the other words so I guessed. Was it bone what? B-O-N-N-E space. M-A-M-A-N. M-A-M-A-N. M-A-M-A-N. What the fuck? Tim, I can't wait to hear this because I have gin and bon maman. Wow. Damn, I know this fucking jelly.

Worth the wait. What a payoff. Worth the wait. Wow, there's a video of a food a foodie lady saying like i take the she reaches in her fridge there's only the very bottom of the dregs of the jar left she pours gin squeezes some lime puts some mint in there closes the jar up ice close the jar up shakes it and then opens it back up tops it with soda and drinks it right out of the jar. Wow. And I looked at the hashtag and it's like,

this is not viral yet, but that post had thousands of views. And then there've been a couple other posts with thousands of views and a couple other people dabbling. I Googled it. And it's not like it's something that doesn't exist. There's different gin and jam recipes throughout the years. They're just maybe not like in the jar like this.

Because who wants to scrape all those remnants anyways now you're putting it to good use and you feel bad when you throw that thing out you feel like oh there was a little bit of gunk in there um but it made me think two things a sort of gear beer bramble ramble all the stuff right uh grimace piss yeah kind of coming out of it. Thank you. It also remember, remember a viral video I made a few years ago where I made three cocktails. I drank out of a cherry jar.

I put like rum in a cherry jar. I put like vodka in an olive jar. And then I put the best one into a cherry Garcia. Yes. The whiskey and the cherry Garcia pint is the way to go. That was called the whiskey and the cherry garcia pint was the way to go that was called the whiskey and ice cream beverage oh yeah but they all were like just the ed the dregs of the thing like yeah exactly and like or like with the cherries i like poured the syrup out just had the

cherries and then poured the booze into that or like i made room for the stuff but it's fun to drink out of a jar or the dregs of the thing and to use the last little bits of an ice cream pint or whatever makes you feel like you're using every part of the buffalo yeah that's good there's a you heard of cyberpunk before just the idea of cyberpunk yeah there's steampunk that's your dirgibles and your gas masks and all that stuff cyberpunk is like your akiras and all that stuff and and the mantra of cyberpunk to some i i forget who coined the term is the street finds its own use so it's like all this technology is happening but it's sort of like the streets kind of make their own use for it yeah

and uh it's it's reminds me of this thing where it's like the jam yeah where it's sort of a or even just like country it feels country to me yeah to kind of like hey it's intended to be this way and then you throw out the it feels kind of hip-hop to me and that you're saying like hey you mean to tell me the people in the late 70s started making a form of music not using instruments but using recording records that's interesting that's fucking interesting man rolling down street, sipping on gin and jam. Jam. Ooh, you know what I have is some Dalmatia fig jam. You've had?

No. I haven't. I love fig stuff. Fig spread, Dalmatia, not like a Dalmatian dog. You've seen it. It's a little jar, and it's got a little orange paper on the top of the lid. It's near the brie and the salami. You want to make a little charcuterie.

You put a little fig jam on there. We're going to check this out when we make the drink. This is good. I want to see this thing. I want to see this thing. Well, that's good booze news, Tim. Thank you. Wrap it up.

That's it for booze news. Well, today we are doing something a little bit different, aren't we? Yes. Yes, we are. Would you say it's because we're all together in L.A. and we wanted to make a communal thing all together? That's right. We are doing a spiked watermelon okay you've

probably heard about this you've probably seen it it's very much a pool party thing i think yeah it's a barbecue thing but it's you've seen before you take a watermelon you poke a hole in it you stab a vodka bottle in it glug glug glug glug glug, glug You let the watermelon soak in all the vodka The next day you cut it up and you eat it Oh But it is about, it's like, it says to be in there for like a day We did ours for 24 hours, pretty much

Yeah, it was 24 hours, wasn't it? You dirty dogs, I did not know about this But you did tell me not to look in the fridge Yes Oh, right, Gary We, yes, because it is, it's not just like, oh, we're having a party in the afternoon.

Great, let's get a watermelon and do it now. It has to really get in there. I thought it would really be like you slam the bottle in there and then like a arrowhead jug it goes glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Well, the way,

I looked up a couple, there's plenty of ways to do it, but basically you take a good-sized watermelon and what do we do? We cut a little... Can't forget a great idea of like shaving just a little piece off the curve

of the watermelon. I saw that on YouTube. It was like just cut it so it's flat on the bottom. So you get like a little bit of a flatness so you're not dealing with the thing bobbling around all the time. Then you take the cap off your vodka. We got what? Absolute? And they suggest like a... This was just a, not a pint, what do you call it?

350 milliliters? Yeah, what do you call it 350 milliliters yeah what do you call it a fifth like a bottle like a bottle yeah it was an appropriate size for the size watermelon yeah it's like 750 or three yeah 375 or whatever it is whatever it is the standard bottle 750 so hanford traced the cap around the crown around the top of this watermelon and you cut that out like just like a pumpkin. Yeah. Jack-o'-lantern. But in the top. But in the top. Take that out. Then you take long skewers. We took

chopsticks. Chopsticks. Poke a bunch of different alleyways down in there into the meat. You're poking long holes, long canals into the hole so that it's got like veins. Yeah, places for the booze to go. So that the booze can travel into the melon now this is where the different recipes will differ one said just take the bottle

flip it upside down jam it in there and it'll eventually just soak all the way down and you'll see the the liquid go down and down down but it takes a while we started doing it this other way where we took a funnel poured it in poured vodka in there and let the fun like let the funnel drain then pour more let it drain right it started to like go over the sides and then we're doing very we took the funnel out and just doing little like shots at a time slowly and we were watching movies and stuff so like kind of every once in a while we'd get up and do it then at the end we just flipped the bottle over yeah we were sort of like done for the night and said like okay well now it's just up to the bottle

method yeah and that was that worked it did in the morning it was all you looked at the morning it was all gone right so is there in the fridge now is there an upside down bottle still stuck in there yes interesting and a lot of these uh websites and stuff were saying like if you want to the people that were saying use the funnel if you want to the people that were saying use the funnel if you want to make it look cool when you're right when your guests come over flip the bottle upside down all right now here is where it gets interesting yes you guys are intrigued here's the weird thing i was already interested so because this what i was just describing wasn't interesting to me you've been bored out of your

mind while you're telling us yeah here's where it gets interesting to me okay it's fucking hot in here jeff you keep your house so hot why so hot all the time sorry i'm kidding one one uh video i watched on youtube the guy did all the liquor he actually did four liquors he did a um a uh long island long island iced tea he cut it up and it was just like a regular watermelon like you cut up like a watermelon you eat the pieces and supposed to taste uh liqueury other ones were saying once it's all soaked in just tip the watermelon upside down and like use the hole as a as a spigot so you're drinking just infused yeah so i'm not really sure what we're gonna get when we pull this out if it's gonna have all turned to mush or here's what i want because i thought we're gonna eat cubes of water that's what i thought too but but just seeing some other ones are saying and now tip

it upside down it was like yeah that's weird weird because why it's historic to me is that this is the pod's first ever booze food. Yeah, booze food. Right. So I want to eat a slice of watermelon that'll get me tipsy. I was picturing like a cube,

like it's cut open and it's cubed and you're getting in there with like a fork on a cube or a toothpick in a cube. Sure. You can do it that way. I think we'll each get a third of watermelon.

We'll do it. You give me your vision of this. I want a wedge, not a cube. We'll cut it like a wedge and see what happens. I am realizing... Spike watermelons, that's something I've always heard about. I'm kind of realizing now that I maybe...

As far as the urban legend of this thing, because I've never seen it and I've never actually done it, I'm kind of realizing now that I maybe as far as the urban legend of this thing, because I've never seen it and I've never actually done it, I'm realizing I was kind of thinking of the thing where you fuck a watermelon. I was thinking of there's a scene in Me, Myself, and Irene where

a watermelon rolls out of the oven or something or out from under the bed and there's something where guys poke a hole in the oven maybe they put peanut butter in a watermelon or something. out from under the bed and there's something where guys poke a hole in the oven maybe they put peanut butter in a water something but i'm mixing my i'm mixing my my references together and i have never seen this i've never seen i've never seen one of these either i mean for all the crazy parties we've been to with ice luges i've even been to parties where they grease up a watermelon and you sort of like fight over it in the pool and try and get it from one end to the other or whatever but i've never seen the spiked watermelon with the bottle upside down i hope it works and my my guess is like the slices from the

middle of the watermelon are going to be more vodka-y than the permeated yeah i guess um i was i was afraid it wasn't going to reach the poles of the watermelon. The only kind of history I found on it was in Life Magazine in 1948. There was an article titled, Fun on the Beach, Summer Finds Americans Shedding Clothing and Inhibitions at Seaside. And then it goes on to say that people are like in San Diego having these watermelon parties on the beach where they would do this but they would they would cut the watermelon open just like the top of it like you would kind of like tim saying so you're scraping out just like blobs i think i think that when you're really mushing it in and then just like pouring in the uh vodka and mixing it up like

they're doing this on the beach and drinking it right then it's not like they were waiting all day but here's a picture of some people drink with a bunch of straws inside a watermelon. We got to post those. That's really cool. So yeah, who knows what's going to happen here? We'll see. You want to get into it? Let's do it.

Folks, we'll see you right back here after these messages. and we're back with vodka watermelons in hand spiked watermelon we did notice that the dish was underneath the watermelon was totally completely full of vodka. Yeah. Not completely. Yeah. There was a bunch in there. We don't know if it was complete. It was like a half cup of vodka maybe. And you were right. This bottle of Absolute was not 750. It was sort of like a half bottle. I think it was the right size

for this water mountain. How big is that? Abasolo. I think that's like the standard size, right? 350 mil? That's a fifth. That is 750. Fuck. So this doesn't smell at all like vodka. No. Which I'm concerned about.

Let's do a little chomp. It tastes great. It has no vodka taste whatsoever. It's good watermelon. Try not to chew on Mike, sorry. That is good. I'm guilty of it too. Not even a hint.

It's a very good, ripe, delicious watermelon. Seedless. It's funny. It's like you say seedless because it doesn't have the black seeds, but it does have the little white seeds. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so good.

We're just three guys sitting around eating a delicious watermelon. Not even a hint of booze. Not a hint of booze. And I'm going to try more of a meatier inner piece here because these were the ones where I think this is where the booze. And I'm going to try a more of a meatier inner piece here. Because these were the ones where I think this is where like the booze. What made direct contact with the booze? We need something close to the insertion point. Yeah.

Try that. Yeah, like that piece has holes poked in it. Like you're clearly futzing. Thank you. You tasted a little more, right? Yes. Very much more. Oh, yeah. Yeah the yeah oh wow that that's right where the like the hole was okay now i was joking mike yeah when we did this that we should have set it out in

the sun for an hour so that gets thirsty and then that way it would glug the like kind of dry it out and uh and that way the vodka would glugug, glug deep into the innards. Huh. Okay. Yeah, that was a weird vodka eat piece. So there's some kinks to work out. But I think this is the ultimate. We've come up with the term popo no-no, right?

Yeah. For drinks where the police can't tell you have alcohol. This is the ultimate popo no-no. You could walk right up to one of those oink oinky pigs. And you could eat this right in their face

and they wouldn't know the difference. No one would suspect. You're wobbling down the street, catcalling people. Five, six slices of watermelon in hand. Burping and farting and having a blast. None the wiser. The problem is you got to be holding the big watermelon.

Or several slices. Or cut it up at home. Exactly. It's interesting because the novelty of this is fun. The watermelon slice that had no vodka in it tastes way better than the one that does have vodka in it. But it's fun to be eating vodka. It is don't know i mean what we would do different that's all i saw oh one of

the methods that i saw was uh to use a meat injector tim have you used one of those i haven't but i think it looks like a big syringe kind of yeah so i thought it'd be like use it for like i don't know you would inject a meat with, like, flavor or, like, oils or something. You mean in normal life? Yeah, in normal life. Like a turkey. Yeah, but not a baster. But not a baster.

Like, it literally looks like a big syringe. Yeah, I've never used it. Oh, oh. I would think a turkey. I think you'd put, like, salt water in a turkey. Yeah, or a taffy. Salt water in a taffy? Put a taffy in a turkey. You get a normal taffy instead of salt water in a turkey. Yeah. Or a taffy. Salt water in a taffy? Put a taffy in a turkey.

You get a normal taffy instead of salt water in a taffy. You're like, oh, shit! Good thing I got my syringe full of salt water. Huh. Wow. This is exceptionally good watermelon. Yeah, we really picked a good one. I'm realizing, like, in recent years, I've only eaten

watermelon in a fruit salad and it's not great this is fresh it's dark red dark red it's got that taste maybe you know what i got for round two tahini oh very smart oh that's good spicy very smart now there's got to be people out there that eat the green part. Yes. Nice day. I recently saw the rind used in some sort of food. I want to say it was cooked in a taco recipe or pickled maybe.

Pickled. Oh, pickled rind? Pickled rind. That rings a bell. Not the green part, but the white part. Pickled as if it were jicama or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're saying they used maybe like a potato peeler to get off the rough green skin.

That's what Jeff reached for yesterday when he was trying to, he's like, this will poke through it. No, no, no. We'd gotten the hole and the funnel wasn't working. We were like, oh, we need to really dig in there. I know just the thing. And I grabbed a potato peeler and stuck it in and i looked at hanford it was short i mean it's like i got nothing i don't know why i thought that would be the the key so we used the simple spoon yeah oh that's what the hole is you know there's that

hole and we dug i forgot you dug i thought that that was like uh the vodka chewed it away i wonder if yeah i don't know. It almost is like come out. Because, you know, we were using the funnel and we were filling it up. And as it was like full inside the watermelon, it was coming up over the edges of the side. That must have just happened with the bottle. And also when you bisected it just now. Yeah.

Cut it. Yeah. Some of the chopstick holes made it all the way down to where you'd shaved the little flat part. So I think there was sort of like a small leak. Damn. I think I just got a little feeling of a little buzz. So maybe that first big vodka bite I took was pretty submerged. We should go like select the parts with all the vodka in them.

Because now we know. It's not on the edges. They should make like a metal detector. They should like make little vodka detectors. And if you're at the beach, you're metal detecting, you've got one of these things. Is that, Mike, you just took some big bites.

Is that a vodka bite? Dark red. Yeah. You want to look for dark red. That was pretty vodka-y. Vodka. Why don't we take a little break? Mm-hmm.

And when we come back, we'll talk more about vodka watermelons. That would be awesome for us because we're eating them, we're making them, we should talk about them. You know what we could do? Why don't we find where we think is the most vodka-ish? Yeah. Scoop a bunch of it out and kind of whip it and drink it that way. Okay.

Or make it just like with forks. Eat it with forks. Yeah, just eat it. But just the good stuff. Just the good stuff. We could also dunk it in vodka. You know, do like a chip and dip. Oh, and all the vodka that's in the bottom of the plate.

Take one of these wedges and go yeah a lot of different ways you could play it all right folks we'll be right back after this and we're back with round two of Spiked Watermelon. I got watermelon down the wrong tube. But in the lung, huh? Yep. But Mike, you've prepared some nice dark chunks. Yeah, I found that some of the pieces look a little like tuna.

I like it. Like sashimi. Like they do. It does look like tuna. Nice red tuna. So should I just grab any of these chunks? Yeah, try it. And we just kind of carve the most vodka-ish chunks.

Yeah, I just went right into like the center. And the dripping's in the middle. I bet you that's pure vodka. I mean, it's the juiciest melon I've ever seen. And I think that has to do with all the vodka. Oh my God. Oh my God, yeah. It all just stayed right in the same spot.

Holy fuck. Oh, fuck, yeah. Holy shit. That was like a shot of vodka, that bite. Yeah, me too. Woo. Woo. Feeling my breath.

Mm-hmm. I don't love what the vodka does to the texture of the melon. It was like a perfectly ripe melon. Now it's a little chewy or something. Yeah. Slimy. It came back different. If you're drinking or eating this at a party,

you would have no idea, like, is this a vodka-y one? You know what it reminds me of? I bet this sneaks up on people. It reminds me of cheapy Jell-O shots. You know, because it's bright red and fruity, but then you eat the Jell-O shot, and it's like red and fruity, but then you eat the jello shot and it's like, ooh, that's just a shot of vodka. Yeah, there's no other fruity taste to it.

Or like, it's just overpowered by the amount of pure vodka in there. Okay, so it's in there. Yeah. You gotta hunt. Hunt around. Yeah, something we didn't do right. Or maybe this doesn't work and that's why no one ever does it, because it's not a good idea.

Could that be the case? Could that be it? Is there a possibility? That's the case. Yeah, so the rule is when you make your little entry stabs, don't go too deep. Don't go through the watermelon. Yeah. I bet this also had to soak more than a day.

Yeah, like 24 hours plus would do it. Would fully permeate. That's hard though. You're like, hey, I'm having a pool party in four days. I gotta start thinking about it now. You don't even know what the weather will be, okay? Alright. I don't

love this. Is that your final thought? Are we getting into it? I think so. Oh, did you want to bring out some tahini? Oh, tahini, yes. Tahini. I think that'll be good to kind of take the edge off the vodka, you know? Because I've lost a lot of melon flavor to absolute vodka.

Let's pull it back with some tahini. I've been using it liberally. A little goes a long way. This is a dark piece. This is going to be. Yes, Taheen. It runs the gamut from delicious virgin watermelon to

exciting, perfectly average right in between where you get a little spike and then there are just mouths full of like gamey chewy vodka. The chewy is weird, right? I just pulled a piece out of my mouth that feels like a piece of fat.

Is it possible? It's not possible that the melon was just like that, right? The vodka cooked it a little bit or something. Right? Possibly. Yeah, I've never had this texture in my mouth. It's very unpleasant to me.

It's slimy. Yeah. Could this be perfected at a brunch if you see like you know a tray going around at a wedding or something like that oh they do like little vodka watermelon things there's probably a good execution of this you know what it probably would be is getting it cutting it open into uniform like cubes and then soaking those and like just dumping. Yeah. At that point, at that point it's like,

what's yeah. Then it's like the charm. I really wanted the idea of like poke a hole, dump a bottle. Yeah. You know, like you wanted it to just work. If you're really putting an extra effort to get some vodka onto some

watermelon, it's sort of like, why watermelon's great. I have a vodka, vodka on the rocks. I'm curious, those really good pieces we had, if there's something to the vodka

just making the, just a little bit makes it sweeter. I don't think that's true, but I like to think. I do think the tequina helps with the more vodka heavy bites. But then I'm also wondering, hey, what if it were tequila?

A little watermelon more um so wait what are you so you basically know my final thought is not oregon i i would love if there's a way that you could like and maybe this is what we're doing seeing with like the darker pieces where you really know where it's gotten down to because i also don't know maybe the middle of a watermelon is usually just darker anyway i don't anyway i think you're you're fumphering around a distinction that we used to say a lot we don't say very much anymore appointment only this thing is appointment only if someone else is making the appointment yeah it's just like this is a weird freak thing you do at a pool party as an experiment maybe you have a good time with it some people aren't gonna like it

some people will think it's cool i bet so many times this happens at a pool party. It's like, hey, you got a waterman? Let's put vodka in. And they do it right then and it doesn't work. It ruins both. Yeah. Tim? I've never seen you so perplexed.

Conflicted. Yeah. I don't know if I like it. I don't think i like it it's not because the watermelon itself was so good i think the misfire bites the the bites that didn't work were delicious yeah that's true the watermelon was great i'm just really struggling with this sort of chewy bites there that are unpleasant and i also have a thing about i really like to know how much i'm

drinking yeah and the mystery amount like i feel i had one bite that was like too much for me to be like it hasn't really hit me yet uh buzz wise but i'm sort of like the mystery thing is a little bit dangerous i always like knowing like oh cocktail typically has like two ounces of like you know serving of the the mystery of what i'm getting is is a little hard to balance at a pool party when i'm trying to not to fucking drown so it might not be in order again for me unless it was made by some i just know that we're going to be inundated with dms being like hey man at five sig parties we used to do it right all the time and yeah invite me to a five sig party

i'll fucking do a fucking cake stand bro i'll drink you and your rat boys under the table and i'm 40 you know you know what i bet you have to do and this was maybe your idea last night jeff is get several holes in the top spaced out so it gets to all the parts of the watermelon. Yeah, but it wouldn't look as nice. It would look like a dice. Yes, it would look like a die. A die.

Alright, well that sounds pretty good now, but Tim, here's the thing. We have one extra little surprise for you. Something we cooked up. It's going to get nasty. We're going to show it to you and we hope you like it. There may be a few

asterisks with this one, but it's going to be fun. You like to have fun, don't you? Yeah, I like to have fun all the time. It's actually one of my favorite moods. Good. It's a vibe. Fun is a vibe, huh? One of my favorite modes is fun modes like uh uh when

you're on the guitar and you're playing in dorian mode and you switch over to mixolydian i like to try that incoming okay can i look cubes what do you think i'm looking at an ice cube tray with gummy bears. And are these like vodka gummy bear ice? Vodka? It's not ice. It's not ice. It's an ice cube tray. It's just vodka soaked gummy bears. Oh. So you use an ice tray as the receptacle,

but these are gummy bears that have been sitting in vodka. They look like they kind of puffed up. They did. They look a little slimier. There was like a toy when we were kids. It was like a dinosaur and you'd put it in water and it would sponge up really big. Those little capsule things. Yeah, they did a little bit of that and they looked puffy.

And this looks fun to me. These are interesting. The recipe I found, because Jeff and I just thought of this as we were picking up the watermelon. The recipe I found was something like take a bowl, fill it with gummy bears, fill that with vodka, and leave in your fridge for a week. So these might not be great. But they did swell. Because these are classic Haribos.

You know what they look like. And they have swollen. So let's take our forks and just try that. Look at that little chubster. Huh. Ooh. Oh, wow. The inside Look at that little chubster. Huh. Ooh. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. The inside of him is still hard, but the outside is real soft.

Because it didn't soak all the way through yet. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. That's something. Much better. That's something. And it is still strong, but you're not taking two ounces of secret vodka to the dome. Right.

You know what it is. That's pretty good. I'm going to have another. I'm going to go green this time. To quote one tweet, Pete. Look them up on X. It's very fun. It's a very fun

on X. That's right. The soft vodka soaked part tastes like almost nothing. And then you get to the middle, you get a real Haribo. We really liked the idea of using these ice cream trays because we wanted the bears to float like experiments.

It's sort of like Minority Report or like The Matrix or something where they're in their little pods. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. So if those had marinated for like another day, it would probably, the core would be soft probably.

The core would be soft, but the recipe I saw said to leave it in for a long time. So this, how long? I mean like a week, I feel like these things would just be like disintegrated. Yep. No, maybe not. Where'd you see it though? TikTok? Just like an article, I think.

Or it was part of... I think it was front page of the New York Times above the fold. Yeah, that's more fun. And I think that's more unique too. Unique New York. And it's making me a little woozy.

So I would order again these gummies. The Bears. The Bears. The Gum Bears. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys

and get the sloppy boys blowout entire back catalog for only $5. And don't forget, questions for Lennon, the monthly bonus show. We've got a very popular, very familiar guest this month. Who's that?

Tim Galbagos. Oh, a musician. Musician, that's right. I don't think we brought that up on the pod. I mean, you and Mr. Lennon. Oh! I like these gummy bears.

Hey, you can have my other one. I don't know if I need more booze. I am now starting to feel it. Jeff, you mentioned something interesting. You said that the Patreon's $5 or it's $ bucks if you want the higher tier it's but you mentioned it's the whole archive that's what's cool is like let's say you've been listening to this cocktail podcast for a long time you think we completely rock the house we're pretty much your boys at this point but you're

like i don't want to have some monthly payment hop over the Patreon for one month, go bonkers, man, listen to all of it. Then by the end of the month, forget to unsubscribe. Lose the card. You go in with thrifty intentions and leave us more of the money. Look, folks, you're not going to have any more television soon. You might as well get onto the

Patreon. That's right. Yeah, it's non-union. We have a non-union Patreon. Is this strike thing going to happen? Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I think it's avoidable. Folks, support independent artists.

Go to the Patreon. That's right. Plop down the five. We love you. Plop it and drop it. See you next week. Bye, folks. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.