The Sloppy Boys - 152. Painkiller

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

The guys make a popular twist on the Piña Colada, created in the '70s at the Soggy Dollar Bar in the British Virgin Islands.PAINKILLER RECIPE2oz/60ml Pusser’s Rum4oz/120ml Pineapple Juice1oz/30ml Orange Juice1oz/30ml Cream of CoconutAdd ingredients into a shaker with cubed ice and shake vigorously but briefly to combine. Strain into a hurricane glass or snifter over crushed ice. Garnish with nutmeg and a pineapple wedge.Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford, and Tim Kalpakis, and we are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys, fresh back from the Hopscotch Music Fest. Yes! What a time! It looks like Mike had so much fun, he never put his shirt back on? I am.

I got my shirt right here. He's shirtless. I got big problems going on right here. I'm shirtless. Well, as long as I'm looking at the Zoom screen, and as long as your shirt is in the shot, that's cool. He has one. I'm touching it with my arm.

It's so hot in here anyway, but I stupidly started cooking chicken, and my alarm's going to go off in two minutes, and I got to turn off the oven. Now... Did you set it for, what, four minutes? Why do I do it today? From Jefferson! Yeah, per side.

You Googled, how long should I bake purple sinewy chicken? I'm looking to get sick off my chicken. How long should I do that for? I want to obtain that purple hue. Low temp for three minutes. Yes, yes. So if you see me get up and go,

oh, my chicken needs to come out, you'll know why. We'll look for smoke coming from the right side of the Zoom square. Yeah. This is a real cool party podcast we have. One guy's baking chicken. Well,

it's in my air fryer. Excuse me, my chicken is ready. I mismanaged my time, my chicken cooking time. Wait, you can cook meat in an air fryer? Oh, Jeff. I thought it was for tots. You can cook everything.

You can do tots too. You can do veg. You could even put a piece of candy in there. Oh. It's going to melt, but it's in there. How are you? Are you feeling hot over there too? Under the collar, yeah.

I hear you. Yeah're hot and bothered. I'm with you. Yeah, we're fully in the confusing time of year where parts of the country are having autumn and parts of the country are having sizzle. We also had that fake-out hurricane. Yeah, was that Hurricane Hillary? Yeah, we've been confused ever since then. Crooked Hillary came sweeping through. But it was pretty mild from an LA standpoint.

In fact, we had worse storms, I want to say, in the early summer. Do you remember that, Tim? It was just really windy every night. Yeah, I mean, we had a whole rainy year. That was like one of our less rainy days. But they did downgrade it to tropical storm right before it hit LA. Oh, how nice of them. Jesus. Then we had the earthquake on that same day. So it was just it hit LA. Oh, how nice of them. Jesus. Then we had the

earthquake on that same day, so it was just sort of funny. Oh, right. Did you guys feel that? That was insane. The hurricane and earthquake. Yeah, it was nuts. How long was it? It was like a rolling, it was one big wobble. I thought it was the wind. When I felt it, my building wobbled and I was like,

ooh, the wind is blowing hard on the walls. And then I looked outside, I was like, no,, the wind is blowing hard on the walls. And then I looked outside. I was like, no, there's no wind blowing hard on the walls. Earthquake. Wind shaking the whole house. That was the first earthquake where I did get up and stand in a door jam. Oh, nice. Which I don't know if that's the best practice these days, door jams.

That feels like the 90s. Yeah, maybe there's probably something more woke we're supposed to be doing. And we don't call it a door jam anymore. Yeah. I give gratitude to all the shakings. I think of a door jam as being a little triangular piece of rubber or wood

that jams the door open. But when you say door jam, are you saying like doorway? Yeah. Door frame. Door frame. Or is it a type? Yeah. Doorframe. Doorframe. Or is it a type of jam when you eat your sandwich in the door? Or were you playing that? A little door jam. Were you playing that Starburst Fender in your doorway?

Oh, yeah, I was. I was laying it down real nice, tasty groove, man. Have you seen those videos? It's like, I don't know if they're actually real or it's just like prototypes and animations, but there are these beds that if there's like an earthquake or something, the mattress drops in and these like steel things go over the top of it. And there's like a bunch of water and kits and stuff in there. I don't, it seems like, how could that possibly work?

Or how many people are getting trapped in these things i'm not it's not like i'm looking to die in an earthquake particularly i'd love i'd love to live uh yeah but um you know there's these people that are like and this happened with covid and happens with everything we're like well we'll certainly not meet like like i must be the my most important of all to survive and i feel like some of our won't name names but some of our more weenie friends were like going and getting sandbags from the lowest feel is fire department like because they were getting ready for flooding and it was like who the fuck cares if you fall why would you flood what are you gonna do who is the main character

of the universe and it's like if you get what you you get, what, you get, you get all wet, you get soggy, that's bad. Fuck off. Fuck you. Don't leave your laptop on the floor. I had a friend in college. That's pretty much it. Don't leave your laptop on the floor.

Never leave your laptop on the floor. I had a friend who, their, their dorm flooded just because some like Bozo set off the, the sprinklers and they came into their apartment. Everything was soaked and they were like, well, it's not that bad unless I... And then they saw that they had left their laptop on the floor, and it was like only an inch of water, but just enough to kill the laptop.

My laptop has never touched the floor. Anytime I'm not typing or looking at my computer, it is closed, in its case, in a net, strung up off the floor and nobody can get to it from bears for bears yep if a bear wants to download a i don't know a video about honey the latest golden grams commercial or maybe that charmin commercial where the bears are itching their asses on the weirdest that's the weirdest thing it's like, they kind of in their little cartoon butts have flecks of stuff on their butt. Hey, I can't get all this paper

off my furry ass, mom and dad. It'd be funny if now you had like Cottonelle being like, oh, we have a raccoon who wipes his ass with our paper. Yeah, baby.

Alright, well, we all knew it was coming. I gotta take this chicken out. You know, I'm gonna give it one more minute just so it's not pink. This will be a great live reveal. It'll be like, coming up, we have Mike's chicken. Yeah, I'll see how it looks. I'll cut it. At the end of the episode, I'll

cut one open and show you. Give it a nice live chop. Yeah, I'll see how it looks. I'll cut it. I'll, you know, at the end of the episode I'll cut one open and show you. Give it a nice live chop. Yeah. So should we get into some booze news? Yeah, that'd be great. Bip, bip, bip, hit it! Mitch, you're still very loud. Can you turn down just a little bit? You gotta turn down even

a little bit more, Mitch. I'm so sorry. It's so loud. Even you. Turn down even a little bit more I'm so sorry it's so loud turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for

turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for turn down for Booze News hit it. Oh, shit.

What an audio barrage at the end there. Damn masterful. Turn Down for Duts was sent to us by Blair Perry. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to sloppyboyspod podcast at gmail.com a tour de force damn blair that was incredible um it's very satisfying turn down for duds but then be like all these bips this is that was good way to go blair perry blair perry blair perry and then uh the harmony on the that long bit but the

end was sort of hearkening to like some of Kanger's themes that end with like a logo uh you know like like WGBH TV the synthy 80s okay uh top story on booze news that I wanted to call our attention to was um do you guys remember a famed bartender giuseppe gonzalez yes yes did the trinidad sour yes that's his claim to fame he worked at uh the clover club and invented that in brooklyn and then bounced around new york a lot and then i believe he's in las vegas now uh but sort of a esteemed elder statesman of the hip cocktail scene and he we interacted with him a little bit on instagram uh once after we did the trinidad sour but i noticed he kind of recently spouted off oh he took to instagram i went on a rant about a list of drinks that never mattered oh wow he was gonna he was pissed off about pumpkin spice season

and being like pumpkin spice latte that doesn't matter you're being like tricked here and then it led him off on this rant where he was kind of ripping some new assholes in some trendy cocktails um and it it teetered into a lot of stuff that we've discussed here in the pod so i was going to run down his list of 10 items 10 oh that's great great. That don't matter in the history of cocktails. I love that. That's so dismissive. They don't matter. Wow. It's not overrated.

It's they just don't matter. It reminds me, I love like the Don Draper meme of like, I don't think of you at all. You know, like, you're just irrelevant to me. Well, geez, that's mean. Well, you'll see these are, I think he's angry, targeting some of the trendy ones.

Because right off the bat, number one, Negroni Spagliato. And he says, Negronis for people who put mayonnaise in their coffee. I bet some of you forgot this was a thing. There you go. Wow. With Prosecco in it? With Prosecco in it? With Prosecco in it. Next, Dirty Shirley's.

Overpriced White Claws for people that have no friends and a New York Times subscription. Damn, he's letting it rip. Hugo Spritz, an Italian cocktail with no Italian ingredients. You can't make this shit up. We made that drink, and i didn't yeah we didn't think of saint germain is french i guess is this like a buzzfeed listicle why is it so punchy i'm it's it's uh it's the caption he he posted the picture of the game of thrones picture of negroni spagliato and then he just uh typed up a big long caption but yeah he, he's a tidy guy, so he itemized it and numbered it.

Espresso martini variations. I knew it. For people like Kanye West that only date people that look like their exes. Okay, that's pretty specific. Okay, but he's got nothing to say about the espresso martini. I was expecting the espresso martini to be on the list. He's talking about weird variations. Yeah, that's kind of funny because there's a lot of variations that uh yeah you think you would go after the main one but i mean i think our our beloved jack schramm i think he puts a little bit of omari in his i don't know these i feel like these were a bunch of the the drinks that we like you've been bringing up in uh booze news to be like this could possibly be the drink of the summer yeah like little trends for a second then they fall away it's probably why he's pissed at

them yeah next one he says all retro drinks for people that shower every three or four days but make over six figures hmm retro that's a pretty wide net does that mean like no but tim he's talking about your thing where it's like the TGI Friday's drinks coming back. Right. Yeah, the suburban chic, ironic, winky, tacky kind of a thing. He's not taking the bait. He's not taking the bait. He wants to drink a good drink. And then, here,

I like this one. He says... I took it hook, line, and sinker. Ow. Hook, line, and stinker. He says, $25 drinks. If cocaine can stay the same price for 30 years, so can your bar menu. Unless you're in New York City, Miami, or San Fran, but that's only because drug dealers have to pay higher rent too.

I like that. A fancy bartender talking shit on expensive drinks. I don't like spending. Mike, I don't know what the scene is like in New York, but Tim and I are paying like $20 a cocktail now yeah like when you go to Death & Co it's expensive yeah that's a bougie one that I mean that shit is

very expensive but then it is like an experience where you're like it's weird how the other stuff is catching up when I'm like wow I'm paying $26 for a cocktail but I'm going to sip it for 20 minutes and think about it and not come back for a year but then kind of like shitty bars, dude,

I would say when I, when I'm at a dive bar and I order a cocktail, I just expect it's going to be $14 and that's pretty stupid. Yeah, dude, I paid $14 for like a Modelo pint at the Virgil. When I saw a friend show, I was so after tip,

it was like $16. Why am I not getting like a nice cocktail? Yeah. Crazy. That's like baseball prices. Next up on Giuseppe's hit list, pumpkin spice drinks. I'll mention it again because you're going to do it anyway no matter what I say. Petty. And then he says

drinks inspired by popular shows. Nobody except online publications cares ever. Seriously, it's never happened if i see another grogu garnish i'm gonna lose my shit now though for those who don't watch the show grogu is baby yoda yoda's son if something happens to yoda the assets go to baby yoda tim take it away emily in paris emily on paris had what i think i think uh had uh uh maybe hugo spritz or one of these was in there and that was part of the bump but obviously a game of thrones and and the grony spot sure well we've also called out um internet publications for trying to make

things a thing you know oh you mean like number nine on giuseppe's list any drink the new york times tells me is the drink of the summer you're y'all are just trolling me now bro so and and then he says trinidad sours the greatest pumpkin spice drink ever created wait what maybe he's joking there but he's saying his own drink sucks. No. How do you guys feel about the pumpkin spice? I don't do it. I don't think I've ever had a sip.

I don't drink coffee, but I do remember going to Starbucks when I was drinking coffee and getting the fun seasonal ones, and I like it. Yeah. I've done peppermint mocha come Christmas, but I'm talking PSLs. I like it. Yeah. I've done like peppermint mocha come Christmas, but I'm talking PSLs. I think we're supposed to be boycotting Starbucks right now because of, uh, there's like a,

a strike looming or something like that. Um, but I, I'm a Starbucks. I, I do a lot of Starbucks, but I always feel like those promo drinks are just extremely sweet. So I'll have them.

I'll have one PSL a year and be like, yeah. Yeah. I was just on a, an Amtrak year and be like, Yeah. Ouch. Yeah. I was just on an Amtrak train, and I went to the dining car and got, they had sous vide egg bites, but it was their own brand,

and it was like, they were just called egg cupcakes. And I was like, I'll have the egg cupcakes. And the guy was like, what? I was like, the egg cupcakes.

Because they must have been new. He's like, I don't know. I was like, it says it right there. He's like, oh,'t know. I was like, it says it right there. He's like, oh, yes, those things. I'm saying what's on the menu. Wait, so they're little quiches, basically.

Yeah, basically. And so, Tim, you got to figure out how to make your own egg bites. People have been tagging me. They now sell them in bulk at Costco, but my Costco membership has lapsed. I don't know if I have the $13 to get that going again. You need to get yourself a cupcake sheet, baking sheet, and make them at home. Yeah, kind of the whole point is to not be making a thing at home. If I wanted to cook, I'd cook.

I know. Too many cooks. Too many cooks. Well, is that it for Booze News? That was a really good one, Tim. Thank you. Wrap it up. Yeah, that was good.

That's it for Booze News. Cool. Very good. Now I'd love to hear about the drink of the day. Don't tell me that was a new Dutz track. No way, no way. You better not be promoting your music on here. My favorite subject matter would be represented.

What? It wasn't about pussy. Oh, God. Not all Dutch songs are about pussy, Jeff. Make it to the end of the album. There's actually some heart in there, okay? Thank you, Tim. Telling the artist about it. Not all your songs are about that. You hate pussy.

When can we see Dutz Volume 2? Oh, God. This one took me like five years. So that's what we're looking at. I don't know. 20, 28. You go down to Sonic Ranch alone.

You cut something great. See what you can rustle up down there. Fly me and Tim down for a track or two, but then we go home. See, the thing I want to do with Dutz is come out with tracks. You know, like Drake and Rihanna will just be like, here's a track. Don't ask me about an album. Yeah, you should. I mean, you've got the album. That's done. That's fine. But now, just track it out. Track it out?

We can do that, too. Come out with just a Sloppy Boys track. That's all it is. Boosh. Sure. I kind of think of these podcasts as long tracks. Long, bad tracks. Not very musical. Hey, you mentioned the Sonic Ranch, which is in West Texas, which reminded me that anyone listening should go to the El Paso Film Festival on September 29th and see us, the Sloppy Boys, appearing live at the premiere of a feature-length documentary that's about us making the album Sonic Ranch.

The Golden Boys on the silver screen. I hope some people come down. That would be cool. We're going to be in there in the flesh, glad handing. Hey, I love film. I love cinema. We're displaying it on 70 millimeter. Wink, wink.

Call my people, babe. We're going to be calling people babe like the old Hollywood schlockmeisters. Babe pig in the city. You're like, call your people. And they're like, Mike and Tim? Babe pig in the city. Did I tell you there's one Easter where my family, we watched Babe, and then my mom made a big ham, and then we kind of were sad eating the big ham.

And she was like, this one didn't talk. He didn't talk. He only squealed when I slit his throat. Hey, I'm confusing Babe with Charlotte's Web. What happens in Babe? Charlotte's Web is like saying don't, like using spider webs to get the pig to not be killed. What happens in babe charlotte's web is like saying don't is like using spider webs to get the pig to not be killed what happens in babe babe is about a talking pig i don't know he talks he talks he talks that'll do pig that'll do pig that'll do piggy boy and he went to the city in

another one they brought him back they brought back back Babe. I think Babe Pig in the city might be the one where he went to the city. I like when someone's called a hayseed. That's a funny bumpkin. Yeah, just the guy's a total mark. I got bumpkins, hayseeds, and fools. Come on, hayseed. Well, all right. That's enough of that hayseeds, and fools. Come on, hayseed. Well, all right. That's enough of that hayseed talk.

You guys want to talk about the drink of the day? Yes. Kind of an exciting one. We've been sort of whispering them out this all summer, like, hey, we should do that one. I've been sort of sipping them out. Bar's looking forward to it. I was reading about it. I said, this is an interesting drink.

The Slopheads might. They might want to listen to this episode of the pod. That's good for pod traffic. Yeah. And this one actually might bring in a ton of new listeners as well. Yeah. Hopefully they're listening right now. Welcome, folks.

Welcome, new listeners. We love you. Yeah. I just hope that the name of this cocktail doesn't have people coming here thinking they're going to get Purdue Pharma products. Yes. Or Advil at the very least. No, but on a serious note, folks, look, when it comes to the British Virgin Islands, we all know Tortola. We all know Gorda.

Yeah. You know we know anagata yes but lest we forget yost van dyke yost van dyke are these islands it's spelled like jost like colin yost van Dyke on the island of Joost van Dyke at a bar called the Soggy Dollar Bar. And it's called this because there's no dock. So people hop off their boats and swim up and their wallets get wet. Oh, that's cool. In the 1970s, a bartender named Daphne Henderson invented what would go on to become a tiki bar staple. And it's called the painkiller you've had. Hmm.

I've seen at a tiki bar once. You haven't had? Michael. I don't think, maybe I have at a tiki bar, just all the stuff's floating around. I don't know what I'm drinking. Tim, I've had, I've had. I've had a lot.

Tiki bar menus, for sure, which is impressive to see it up there with all the Don, the beach comers and the, and the trader Vixen be so common, but it's not from of those guys. I, I chugged a bunch of them recently because I was at a birthday party with open bar and pain killer was on the menu.

So I said, glug, glug, glug, glug, and a chuggy chug jug. We're basically talking about a pina colada with orange juice and some nutmeg on top. That's really it.

Beautiful. Orange juice, right? I had no idea it was that similar, Tim. It's pretty much that. And it came after the pina colada. So it's really just OJ with the least impressive ingredient. But fresh. Ideally fresh.

And let's hope not flabby. Oh, boy. But the nutmeg on top that's that nice shit you know that's uh uh that's what gives it the twang yeah the twang maybe the nutmeg also like is the rum different or something because i feel like every pina colada i have is a big old kiddie drink sweetie and then every painkiller i have is a distinguished cocktail for adults. Distinguished gentle fellow. Jeff, you hit the nail right on the head because the main thing is that this drink has to be made

with Pusser's rum. Oh. Uh, yes. Does it have to be? Now, when I say have to, I mean like in the trademark sense. Remember Gosling's Dark Bermuda Rum? Yes, the Dark and Stormy.

If you make a Dark and Stormy, you can't call it the Dark and Stormy if you're not using Gosling's. And they will like find you and have you change that. Same thing with Pussers. And so Pussers was British Navy rum. Navy strength. The word Pusser comes from purser, like the ship's supply officer, which I think now you'd call it a logistics officer. But like, this was the rum that was issued to sailors, which is so funny. We've talked about it before when it's like, you guys, you can't get scurvy. So here's a daiquiri.

Yeah. The government trying to rustle up gin for the boys. That's fine. Yeah. I like that being like part of life you like you should should have two ounces of rum per day loosens you up it's like cocaine on the blues brothers movie i've heard about that was it blues brothers i don't know you hear about like cocaine being kind of in the budget on those like old naughty comedies i know that uh john landis and John Belushi fought a lot. And that one point Belushi like walked off angrily and it was the universal gate on Lancashire.

Not far from the old birthday boy's house. Yeah. And he like walked into a home, right? Yeah. Didn't he like take a nap in a residence or like made a sandwich at a residence? Took a nap in somebody's bed.

Okay. So it was made British Navy rum made by the British Navy. But then in 1970, the British Navy stopped making that. So now pussers is like has become this private company, but still making that specific rum. And yeah, if you so if you make a painkiller and you call it a painkiller, you have to use pussers. And they're like litigious about that in fact i found this a wikipedia fact in 2011 there was a tiki bar called painkiller in new york and they were forced to change its name from painkiller to pkny and do you know who made that change and who was the owner of the bar that was getting litigated? Giuseppe. Giuseppe Gonzalez himself. Really? Wow. Yes.

Booze news meets drink of the day. Cool. Crossover of the century. This is just flowing right into the next section. This is so good. That's great. So be careful. They're persnickety. And I also wanted to say that, let's say you're a female listener of this podcast right now, and you're thinking.

Yeah, both of you listen up. You're thinking, hey, the two of us have been listening to this podcast. We're having a pretty good time. And maybe you're thinking, the Pussers people seem a little uptight, but I'm not yet personally offended or anything. They haven't done anything to make me feel specifically angry. Well, listen to this clip I found from Pusser's Rum owner, Charles Tobias. Hit it. And the Pusser's Painkiller, that is probably the finest rum drink in the world today. Started right over here in Yost Van Dyke at the Soggy Dollar Bar.

It's four parts pineapple, one part orange juice, one part cream of coconut. We have a number two, number three, number four. Number two ounces is Pus' Rum. Number three is three ounces. Number four reserved for men only or kings as we call them or captains. Four ounces Pus' Rum. Here in the BVI, we don't allow women to drink those. They don like it much but we work it out he's laughing there's like a time he's like an old guy that thinks that's funny they don't like it much when when was that like when was that from it looked like kind of an old video maybe maybe it's from the 90s or something but i don't know hey hey maybe on today's episode of sloppy boys we can honestly judge whether we think this drink should be

available to all genders did you didn't the person who invented this wasn't her name daphne yeah yeah wait just a minute she's probably well here's the thing we're making the standard recipe which has two ounces so i guess we're having the painkiller number two he was talking about the painkiller number four that's a weird thing with tiki bars, right? Like the thing of like, hey, you're only allowed to order two scorpions. There's one other like that. Like rules, I think they like,

it's like boys club kind of like, hey, we got these little rules. Well, that is definitely going to ding this drink when we go to assess it at the end of the show. If we get there. Are you going to go for the four ounces? I'm going to ding this drink when we go to assess it at the end of the show. If we get there. Are you going to go for the four ounces? I'm going to have with two ounces. No, I'm not going for the four ounces, but the point that that's...

Yeah, that the owner of the rum company... That he kind of sucks. But also, like, it kind of throws off the whole balance, wouldn't you say? Like, sure, you can make a stronger drink, but you're just doubling the alcohol and keeping all the other ingredients the same seems weird it does seem weird and i don't know maybe let's the one we try maybe it'll be too juicy and then we'll understand why people crank it up too juicy i thought it was cool though i just want to say it was cool he said he calls he said that men are kings i thought that was kind of cool sure short kings tall kings because i got a crown but every once in a while i drop it um timmy i don't have pussers okay i know you offered me some but

then i read a bunch of places and they were saying like yes pussers is very litigious and that's the official rum but is it the best rum for a painkiller oh oh i've got a bottle right here i haven't tasted it yet i got it at cap and cork and when i taste it i'll tell you Is it the best rum for a painkiller? Oh. Oh. I've got a bottle right here. I haven't tasted it yet. I got it at Cap and Cork. And when I taste it, I'll tell you, we have bunches of rums, and there's probably one that's very similar. So I just can't tell whether it's – it looks fairly dark, but not all the way as dark as the darkest of dark rums, right? It's a little ambery.

It's a cool bottle. It's a cool bottle. It's a cool bottle. And this here's a weird thing. It says British Navy Pusser's Rum. And then below it, rum is, it spells Ron, R-O-N, and rum, R-H-U-M, which my friend Sean Kiernan told me that it meant that it was French, but this is obviously British. Admiralty rum on the back.

It says the superb rum in this bottle is blended at reduced strength in accordance with royal navy admiralty regulations for rum in effect at the time the daily rum issue was terminated on 31 july 1970 this proprietary blend has been aged a minimum of three years in once used charred oak bourbon barrels and chill filtered to further enhance its flavor or smoothness so are they saying it's a little bit weaker than it was back when the actual navy was making it weird i don't know chill phil uh reddit was saying use appleton okay oh then use appleton and and if you don't have appleton i would say something that looks amberish um okay it's not an iba cocktail so we're using this standard recipe off of liquor.com that's

the same as what the pussers guy said it is two ounces of pussers rum four ounces pineapple juice one ounce orange juice freshly squeezed one ounce cream of coconut i wish i had coco lopez that can but instead i just have this weird bottle of like real coco real coco real i found some uh cream of coconut in like a thing that kind of looked like uh almost like a mustard yeah it's white though right yeah okay that's what the other one you're supposed to use other than coco lopez because if you remember when we did the pina colada the first time i used coconut cream and not cream of coconut oh it was like a waxy can of unsweetened and it just tasted like metal yeah you don't want you don't want this drink to taste like metal you want this more like a coconut

um garnish nutmeg, freshly grated. Garnish pineapple wedge. Add the rum, pineapple juice, orange juice, and cream of coconut to a shaker with cubed ice. Shake vigorously, but briefly to combine. Strain into a hurricane glass or snifter over crushed ice. Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg and a pineapple wedge served with a straw.

Damn, that sounds good. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't mind putting a little whipped cream on the top of this thing, dude. A little... That's right. I saw at Albertson's

they finally have that boozy whipped cream that Cardi B was promoting. Oh, yeah. Did that have a funny name? Maybe just the idea was funny. Pussy Whip. Come on, it'd be good. That'd be funny.

Yeah, it'd be good. It'd be funny. Alright, folks, we're gonna go make up these painkillers. Why don't you open up your ears, open up your wallets, gather around the friends, and listen to these ads. Ooh. And spend, spend, spend. We'll be right back.

And we're back. Painkillers in hand. And no, not Tylenol relief. Let's see them. Beautiful boy. Look at those. Yes. You know what I did? I forgot to do the crushed ice. Damn. Yeah. My ice

situation is not ideal. Shake with cubes. Pour onto crushed. I know. I know. Yeah. I just dumped it all into the cup. Ah yes. The cup ah yes the cup after i shook you're supposed to discard those cubes michael you know like jeff says like a action hero walking away from an explosion cubes discarded are you throwing out the clip of your gun um i realized when we were doing this it it said shake vigorously but briefly.

And I think that's because we've learned that pineapple juice can really froth up if you shake it too much. Mine looks pleasantly frothed. Me too. Ooh, that nutmeg. Yeah, that's nice. That's a holiday smell. Ooh, nutmeg. Holiday smell.

Remember the potent potion at the old Good Luck Bar on Hillhurst? That had nutmeg on it. Yes. Potent potables. God, I wish I knew anything about tiki back when I used to go to Good Luck Bar all the time. Yeah, you're just sucking them down with no thought. They had certain things, but I don't think they had like a standard tiki menu. No, it was kind of their own thing, but they had like karate punch and stuff they made up but i'm sure they were all hillhurst yeah i'm sure like the potent potion

just was a painkiller but they didn't have pussers rum oh speaking of which tasted pussers yeah jeff i'd say appleton you're safe appleton's better better in my opinion because i love appleton but any darker rum if you got to use myers use my. If you got something that's amber-ish, dark-ish, that's the- Smith & Cross over here. Yeah, great. Ooh, Smith & Cross is good. Smith & Cross is right, yeah.

How about Hamilton 86 Demerara Rum? Oh! Great. Okay, good. I'm glad I got that right. I don't know. Is that dark or is that white? Oh, it's as amber as amber could be.

There you go. Do they call it Hamilton rum because you only take one shot? Yep. Yeah, that's why. You know, that's not the melody. And it's very similar to the 8 Mile melody. Whoopsies. On Google people, ondit people were saying a light rum is a is a pina colada dark

rum is a painkiller so keep that in mind with your orange juice and your darker darker rum great sips sips my god heaven oh man absolute. That cream of coconut taste is so good. I mean, it's basically coconut frosting. That stuff is thick. Yeah. Pouring it out, it was rather seminal, was it not? Yes, yes. Rather seminal.

And then also, like, measuring it out. It's the sort of ingredient you got to do first when you're measuring in with the little measuring glass because every subsequent ingredient is gonna clean up that goo and go into the shaker you know what I'm saying see I was pushing my tongue into the jigger trying to get every last lick

damn this is good like I do with jizz why two sips of painkiller and you talk like that you talk like that? You talk like that to me, here, to me, now. Here on the pod. They tell you, have a straw.

But I'm saying, I want that nun Maggie froth. Let me put my nose in there, you know? Yeah, that's the thing. Your straw goes right to the bottom. You only get the smell, kind of. I stirred mine around a little and pushed it down. Oh, this is good. We should have been doing tiki the whole time.

This should be a tiki podcast, not another fucking weird shit. I know. What the fuck were we doing? You know, I don't ever think to order a pina colada, but I should more. These are good. It's a painkiller, Mike. It's got pussers rum. I know, but I've heard of pina coladas before.

But my point is, this is good. I feel like I get these when I'm in the mood for a dessert-y type of a thing. But I've never, like, drinking this, I'm like, this is really heavenly. It's frothy. The OJ is, like, if you think about it, it's sort of a little Orange Julius-y thing going on, but really I'm just tasting coconut. I could do with more rum. I could teeter toward the men's only version of this drink

because I wouldn't want to have two of these in a night, you know? So, because it is such a dessert. Oh, I see what you're saying. Well, Tim, how about having two of these in the afternoon for your podcast? I love that. I love that for me. I just got some pineapple chunks from the store and put one on as my garnish.

That was some good pineapple. That is good, sweet pineapple. The last couple drinks I've been getting sprigs of mint and then the diced pineapple cup at the grocery store. And it's great to just have pineapple lying around. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's a good fruit. They have one that comes with a little packet of tahini in there and a lime wedge.

You're ready to rock. Now, you know how people are like, oh, a tomato is actually a fruit because it has seeds. Are there seeds in pineapples? There must be. Nah. I don't think so. They have the core. So is pineapple not a fruit?

Maybe the whole pineapple is the seed, huh? Mm-hmm. Aha. I mean, you do have to get past that rough, rough husk. Mm-hmm. The husk is the shell. Ah. The yellow meat is the seed.

Is the nut meat. The seed meat. Oh, we're going to get people DMing us, I'm sure. Oh, no. This is where the seeds are. Come on. Don't say nut meat. Nut meat's a real word.

People use it all the time. People, everywhere you go, everyone's talking nut meat. Do you guys want to see how my chicken did? Yes. Yes, this is what we really want. The live cut. Oh, beautiful. I didn't put any sauce or anything on, but let me take a bite.

That's where it really, you gotta bite down on the bone, because that's where... That might be paint. Mike, open up that chicken, will ya? Let's see the inside. That's paint. Oh. Oh my god, it's white! That's not pink. It's white! It's a nice chicken-y beige. Beige meat.

Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good beige. Hanford, I've never seen such a well-cooked, perfectly cooked piece of chicken drumstick. And all I did, I didn't put any seasoning. I put garlic salt on it, and it tastes great. That's nice. That's a seasoning, my man. That's a seasoning.

I know, but I usually do, you know, if you make chicken, you put a whole bunch of shit on it. Last second, I said, oh, wait, I got to put something on here. Dash, dash, dash. Dab, dab, dab dab dab dash yes thank you jeff not dab i bought some boneless skinless thighs the other day and i saw a giant bag of drumsticks and i was like no i don't buy drumsticks but now i'm looking at mike's drumstick and thinking maybe it was i who was the fool all along get get the drumsticks. Oh, Tim, did I tell you? I think you were there, but we didn't comment on it. At Rustic,

I got wings, and a fucking thigh showed up in my wings. No! Like a big one? Like, yeah. It was a wing, but then it kept going with more meaty chunks, and I was like, this is a fucking thigh got in there.

It kept going. It was great. this wing kept going how long is this wing gonna be it was dynamite that's that's you don't expect to get a chicken thigh in your chicken wing order bonus it's just another thing we've said with you rustic that that you know they ask you you want a regular crispy or extra crispy and we're like it's kind of crapshoot what you actually get and the sauces seem pretty interchangeable now the the chicken part is interchangeable what what am i order when i when i if i say i want medium wings and you uh you bring me hot thighs what did i why did i say anything sure just be happy you're getting anything over there anything Anything came out.

Also, the mind reels. Like, you know, sometimes you get a half chicken at like a counter or at a grocery store or something like that. What if you get prepared just like a wing? Just like a wing. Deep fried, tossed in buffalo sauce. A whole half chicken. Imagine that.

Wow. How about I'll do one better. How about a whole chicken? Oh my God. Damn. That'd be great to have a Thanksgiving turkey that was like a buffalo sauce that still had the stuffing on the inside.

Just treat it as one big wing, but it's stuffed. What if it's stuffed with blue cheese? I like the sound of that. Tim, that sounds good. Maybe you'd move the bones out and put blue cheese for the bones. I don't know if blue cheese will do the structural work that a skeleton does.

I'm sure the food geniuses over at Kraft can put something like that together. Oh, yeah. They firm up the crumbles of blue cheese so it's very bone-like. That's good. You know what I bet they could do? They should do this. Oh, this would be so good. You know those like frozen mozzarella sticks you can do?

It's basically that, but instead of like the breading part, that's chicken. You know, you just chop a bunch of chicken and press it. You know how they can shape chicken nuggets into whatever? Like chicken fries at Burger King or whatever they were doing. Yes. And then you put the blue cheese right in the middle there like a mozzarella stick.

That's good. If they can replace Wolverine's bones with adamantium, they can replace a chicken's bones with blue cheese. Oh, God. Don't get me thinking about Deadpool and whatever that movie's coming out. Oh, I'm sorry, Mike. I'm so sorry. I know you were really... You're going to let me know, though, right, when it comes out? Yeah, I'm going to let you know. I know you were looking forward to that sorry, Mike. I'm so sorry. I know you were really... You're going to let me know, though, right? When it comes out.

Yeah, I'm going to let you know. I know you were looking forward to that movie so much. I'm so sorry about the strike. Oh, that's what's keeping... Oh, right, because they can't... Damn. Now you're complaining about the strike. We got to end this thing.

Oh, those wonderful studios have such great stuff for us, but the writers are ruining it. No. Union strong. Writers take a pay cut so we can get Wolverine and his friend Deadpool. I'm kidding. Don't end the strike unless we get all our terms met.

And PTB better cave to our demands, or else I'll just say this. I've hinted at it online. Next step, we start to get a little violent. No, no, no. Physical harm is what comes next. Jeez, you guys sound like Bane. We've been worried about financial stuff so far,

but no one's talking about casualties, and that's what I'm threatening. Mm-hmm. I think the only casualty is this Deadpool movie. No. Well, hey, let's bring it back to the drink. I was going to say, let's bring it back to the chicken. I forgot.

Drink. Maybe, Jeff, when you post it back to the drink. I was going to say, let's bring it back to the chicken. I forgot. Drink. Maybe, Jeff, when you post this episode, should we say chicken? Episode 152, chicken. We can make a chicken stop on the way back to the drink. No, no. The chicken looked good. I'm jealous. I'm going to make some chicken later.

Jeff, take it away. Sure. You guys ever had a frozen painkiller? I see that a lot, too. And now that I know it's so related to the pina colada, I'm not as impressed. Normally I see a frozen drink and I feel like it's just like the height of luxury. I think it's great, but you're

pushing it back into pina colada territory, right? Because pina colada tends to be blended. So I don't think this bothers people as much as, like I need to segregate there's the tiki drinks and the beach drinks you know like the boat drinks and the pool drinks are separate from the tiki drinks and i feel like

pina colada plop me on the beach sit me in the sun i'm drinking a pina colada painkiller i'm sidled up to a little tiki bar in the dark and the nutmeg is kind of what's doing that about to watch grown-ups too you know but the nutmeg is kind of what's doing that. About to watch Grown Ups 2. But the nutmeg is what's giving it that more... It's strong. It's tiki-ish. I don't think I want to drink this in the sun.

I don't usually go in for those frozen drinks. Get out of here. It's like blended. It's like blended. It's like a smoothie, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But not like a slush puppy, like a good one. Yeah. You know the slush puppy. It's very fine. I've had them before, and I get it, but I just never usually get them. The Tulip Shop Tavern. Oh! Remember those?

We had some frozen Cuba Libres, and they were the coldest motherfuckers. They were cold. frozen Cuba Libres. And they were the coldest motherfuckers. They were cold. I swear, you know, you hold the glass and then your fingerprints are on the, they leave melted fingerprints on the frozen glass. Yeah.

It was so cold, they refroze. Wow. How about that? Those were good. And look, I've had them before. I'm just saying I don't usually go in. Sure, I know. Oh, like not every day.

I don't mean to jump on you, Mike. No, no, no. You're alright. You're good. You're good for now. See, we had some frozen painkillers at Broken Compass, did we not? I don't recall. I mean, a frozen... Jeez, I remember having a Mai Tai

there. We tried to go to Broken Compass. We couldn't get a table because it was new, and I swear that we all got frozen painkillers, but maybe you didn't. And then we went to go to um broken compass we couldn't get a table because it was new and i swear that we all got frozen painkillers but maybe you didn't and then we went to smokehouse i bet i would have got a mai tai because i'm a mai tai kind of guy and we saw erica strada ah yes perfect at the smokehouse with the perfect celebrity to see at an old san fernando valley steakhouse is the guy from Chips. Remember in the movie Licorice Pizza?

They go to that old bar or that old restaurant. Was that? That wasn't the smokehouse, was it? No, I thought it was Barone's or I thought it was Little Tony's. And then I Googled it and it wasn't either. Smokehouse-esque, though. I'll give you that. It's called like the Cock and Bowl or something like that.

Oh. In the movie, in the movie. That's great because that's when she's hanging out with sean penn right and the yeah and the kid is like getting jealous that's so yeah i just saw that scene recently on uh on tv or something it was it's so funny she's like sean penn is kind of i think doing lines from a movie he was in and she's like had a couple martinis she's like what do you i don't understand what you're talking about. It's just like, it nails that feeling of like, yeah, they're,

they're older and more established and have more money, but they're like not cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're cool to each other only after, after pumping the brakes with a, with a teenager who has a crush on her, she's like,

here I am with a real man. And then that guy is not, he's talking about himself he's telling his stories he's not showing her attention and she's realizing like okay well this guy's rich and handsome but uh i want to talk you know like yeah that's a good movie what's the rest of your guys days like i guess just eating is it hitting you jeff yeah i'm good yeah i gotta take down uh six drumsticks of chicken over here here's the thing i want to try the king's version of this but i don't want to drink four ounces so what i'm gonna do is drink half i'm gonna i'm gonna make half

but i'm gonna so preserving two ounces of the rum and then cutting all the other ingredients in half ah you just want to see what the taste would be. I get you. See what the taste would be. I drank my round one. I drank this down exactly, precisely halfway. And now I'm going to add two ounces of,

I mean, it's not a perfect science because there's rum in here already, but if I add two ounces of pussers to this, I'll get an idea of the, the drink. Tim, the science is sound with us. Yeah. That works. Satisf science is sound with us. Yeah.

That works. It's satisfied by our peer review. Yeah. Satisfies math and science. And then, you know, then I'll have a, maybe I'll sip it and maybe I'll come back in here and be like, guys, look, I know it sounds bad, but this one can, women can't have this. Okay, great. Great. Tim, hold up your drink again, Tim.

That's such a funny straw. That straw is so long. I know. I ran out of normal straws. It's like a hurricane glass straw. I only have these giant coffee, like, venti straws. Oh, oh, oh. All right.

Well, folks, we're going to make another round of these. And when we come back, final thoughts. Love that. And we're back with painkiller tweaks. Tim, what'd you do? Painkiller tweaks. Tim, what'd you do? Painkiller tweaks. Well, I added my

two ounces of extra rum and I'm going to take my sip. Yeah, me too. Okay, that's the tiki taste. That brought this one from the pool indoors to late night.

Yeah, okay. This, I mean, fucking delicious, but also you lost a lot of the taste of some of the juices, so maybe the perfect split would be the painkiller number three. And I don't know what you think, Jeff, but I hate saying this, because, you know, it's 2023. No. We want to be progressive.

Look. Tim, I worry about what you're going to say next. I don't think this drink should be consumed by cishet women. Okay. No, Timothy. I don't know if I stand by that, Tim. No, I don't either. I think you got it all wrong over there. I wish you were Timothy. I don't know if I stand by that, Tim. No, I don't either. I think you got it all wrong over there.

I wish you were different. I wish. Tim, you are, well, that's what you wish. He speaks from the heart. I just. His cold black heart. When it comes to people who menstruate. Oh, Jesus.

I can't. I can't. I can't allow it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He i can't i can't i can't allow it i'm sorry i'm sorry other stuff i'm fiscally liberal i'm fiscally very liberal hey tax me all you want i love that oh my god yeah but mike he just can't see a menstruating person and yeah yeah he just can't see it there's right and there's wrong and and you know i was raised it's how i was raised i get that's what he can't see but i just don't think it's right okay well for me i think folks all over the globe could enjoy such a delicious treat yeah this

is good i didn't do a new i'm still working on mine so i didn't do a new one. I'm still working on mine, so I didn't do a new thing. I did mine from scratch, but basically a halfer. But you can see it filled up a rocks glass just so. Yeah, yeah. I even hand cracked the ice this time. How about that? Ooh. Mmm. Ooh, folks, that's good. I would gladly pay

$20 for that. But you're in your own home. Will you just put the money on the counter? Mm-hmm. Well, you bought put the money on the counter? Mm-hmm. Well, you bought the rum, so I'd say that was the payment. You know what? I took a $20 bill and I put it in the sink to pay homage to the soggy dollar bar or whatever Tim said in segment one. And you flushed it or you just flushed it?

Mm-hmm. What was it? Soggy dollar... Soggy dollar bar. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what I did. You're thinking of Soggy Bottom.

I think that's where... That's where SpongeBob lives. In A Pineapple. So that makes sense. In Oh Brother Where Art Thou, there's the Soggy Bottom boys. Mm-hmm. I think they show up

in SpongeBob too. Yeah. Yeah, I think-hmm. I think they show up in SpongeBob, too. Yeah. Yeah, I think so, too. I think. That's what I think. Mike, what did you do? You're awfully mum about your tweaks.

I'm still finishing my first one. Okay, cool. Each sip is good. You know, sometimes some drinks, as you eat more and more sips, it's worse and worse.

This is better and better. Yeah. You know what I some drinks, more and more sips, it's worse and worse. This is better and better. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. That's our show. Follow us on social media, at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boards, head on over to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. And hear us talk about non-cocktail things, such as this week's best fall aspect. We discuss all the different facets and features of the autumn time.

Yeah, there's some certain qualities that come up when autumn is in the air, huh? Several attributes worth discussing. And no other podcast is covering this shit. And no other podcast is covering this shit. They will not cover the emotions felt regarding certain points of a season. Yes. Thanks for saying it, finally, Mike. What was the other one we did like that?

It was Best Christmas Aspen. Yeah. It's a banger rap, if you ask me. Yeah, it's a damn good one. Good episode, guys. Great episode. Really good episode. Great episode, those of you listening at home.

A lot of new ears in this episode showing up, I think. A lot of new listeners. Yes, hello, everyone. We look forward to seeing you or hearing from you and you hearing us

more and more and more. And what is it? Do you think it's, these are people that saw us perform in Raleigh, North Carolina at the Hopscotch Fest and they jumped on board

with the painkiller pod? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yes. We performed for 100,000 people. I think all the members of Pavement and Dinosaur Jr. I think they're listening as well, because they were playing that fest. Oh, yeah.

I heard that Dinosaur Jr. and Pavement, their podcasts are skyrocketing this week. Japanese Breakfast, they have that breakfast pod. Everyone is listening to that. Dinosaur Jr. changed their song. Never mind. The song's called Feel the Pain, isn't it? Yep.

I thought it was Feel the Noise, and I was going to say they changed it to Sloppy Boys. I thought you were going to say Feel the Pain turned into like Painkiller something. Oh, yeah, Feel the Painkiller. Hear the Painkiller episode. They've changed it. All right.

Well, folks at home listening, great job yourselves. But you can bring a friend next time. Think about it. Bring a friend. Bring a fend. Yeah, I did say fend, didn't I? So, folks, next time you got to bring a fend. When you start to slur, it's time to end the podcast.

Indubitably. Bye, folks, next time, you've got to bring a fan. When you start to slur, it's time to end the podcast. Indubitably. Bye, folks. Bye. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys