The Sloppy Boys - 158. Black Lagoon

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

The guys enter Dutts' test kitchen for a spooky experiment featuring "the molasses of the sea."BLACK LAGOON RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Whiskey.75/22ml Lemon Juice.3oz/10ml Eel SauceCombine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocktail glass.Recipe via Dutts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. H-O-T-T-O-G-O. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? Chapel Roan? That's right. Chapel Roan stylies today.

H-O-T-T-O-T-O? Hot to go. It's her song. Yes. It's her song. You're the one who introduced this. I only know Pink Pony. Oh, H-O-T-T-O-G-O.

It's good. She's fun. She's a pop. IT-T-O-G-O. It's good. She's fun. She's a pop. I like your rendition where you slowed it down. H-O-T-T-O-G-O. I'm not going to belt it out here on the cast. Hey, everybody. I'm a Pink Pony Club man myself.

I like casual coffee, kaleidoscope. Oh, good music in there, folks. Red Wine Supernova. Who is this person she's great she is she the new gale of the pod i don't know too soon to say mike i would say what what makes chapel roan gale adjacent is her connection to liverod you know that um liverod's producer dan nigro i believe used to produce for Chapel Roan. And then I want to say that Chapel sings backup on songs on guts. Get out of here.

For Livrod. Yep. It's all incestuous in Hollywood. Everyone's singing backup on everyone's tracks. Everyone knows everybody. You know who sings good backup? Three little princes with their own little pod that's right yeah that's true folks if you have an album if you're a young starlet and you need backing vocals um email

the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com yeah yeah we can do it we can learn the lyrics we can all at the three if the three of us sing something it doesn't sound bad well there is our hardest moment of harmony when we play live is when we play the song past that doobie uh mike's on guitar jeff's on bass i'm on drums but then toward the end we sing three-part harmony and it's kind of a hey hey let's just do it take a load off fanny. Mike, you do it. Yeah, yeah. What's the line that leads into it? Brother?

Oh, brother? No. Getting stoned. Yeah, right. Getting stoned. Home. Home. I don't know if those are the right notes.

He's the very best. Hey. Hey. Hey. This is a good podcast. You kid. best yeah that's good i also and when we did it all the same time you guys both dropped out so i couldn't hear you but i feel like when we do it live at shows it goes getting stone hole and i'm the third one every time so it's like mike jeff tim when i joined that first one, getting stone, lots of times Jeff nods like, Hey,

we did it. And then we go is the very best thing. And I'm the third one again. And I often miss it. And I see Jeff shake his head side to side. Nah, not even to you. Sometimes,

sometimes he kind of goes, okay, not so bad. Sometimes though, I've never nailed it enough so that Jeff gets Jeff gives me a full nod on that one. Sometimes when people are rocking, though, they kind of shake their head no, like, just kind of get in the groove. Maybe Jeff's doing that, so you have to kind of, Jeff. No, it's what Tim was saying.

Oh, Jeff. But also, you know, it's also not good as an artist to be on stage. You know, that feels like color commentary you don't need. Like, you don't need a guy up there saying we're doing good or we're doing bad. Just play the fucking song, man. Yeah. That's a bad habit I got up there. That's all right.

Here's the thing, Jeff. And listeners, if you could tune out for a second. This is just band talk. Yeah, sure. The audience doesn't know what we were going for. You play, they see what's happening and they hear what's happening. Yeah. If Tim misses a note, they say, oh, dissonance.

Tim must be listening to Philip Glass. Right. Yeah, they were trying to hit a D minor seventh harmony, a D minor sus there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they wanted, instead of us being suspended, they wanted to just barely be flat. Just a little flat. It's time for me to come clean about something.

When Tim was just talking there, you guys both froze. I have no idea what you were saying. I came back in when Jeff says something about sus. Yeah, we think you're sus. You've been a little sketch. You've been a little sus. But I got Riz. You're on notice. I'm on Riz notice.

No, dude, you're fucking coded, bro. This is what we should be shit-chatting about. No, guys, this is our Halloween show. We should be talking about all the freaky frights of the night. That's true. That's what people want.

They come to us for its Halloween content, and we are going to get a huge listenership on this episode. I feel like I haven't done jack shit for Halloween yet. All I want to do is go on a spooky walk or a haunted hayride type of thing and just walk around in the leaves and kick the leaves around. Yeah. But I like to do that in this time of year. But I haven't done it yet.

Yeah, you don't have much leaf peeping in Brooklyn, huh? Or do you? You've got trees. The leaves change. Yeah, you have some trees. It's funny. We have nice neighborhoods around here. Yeah. In Los Feliz, you better believe we. We have nice neighborhoods around here. Yeah.

In Los Feliz, you better believe we got some nice neighborhoods. Oh, yeah. But it's funny that you look around and there's so many green trees, green everywhere, but there'll be like one orange tree. Yeah, yeah. The leaves start to change on that one tree on that one tree. I'm doing the way I've been doing it. How does that happen?

Does that tree not know what's going on? It's the same weather. Different type of tree, I would guess. Because the other ones are conifers. So you're saying there's different types of trees. Yeah, Jeff's talking about different types of trees. Must be deciduous. I'm walking home from work today,

and what's that smell in the air? It's the smell of leaves. It's the smell of fall. It's the smell of fall. Yeah? People say there's a fall smell. I don't smell it. It's just decaying leaves, but yeah. Dead leaves on the dirty ground?

Ooh, Jack White, I feel like you're walking right next to me. And Meg, boom, boom, on the drums. And Meg. As always. How about pumps? You guys carving any pumps? I haven't done a pumpkin yet, but if I did,

I'm going to do a little. If I did, I don't even know what I carve into it. So it's better. I don't even do one. I've carved a lot of pumps with you, Mike. Yeah.

We've carved some pumps in the old years. Oh, yeah. That was good. We did a Batman one. I did a funny face. And Jeff, when you're carving your pumpkin this year if you don't have a knife why don't you use a ice cold martini instead of how about you have a

dry aged ribeye to cut through i'll shake up a nice martini and dump it on the top of a pumpkin and see what happens yeah dump it on a ribeye it'll be a whole new kind of a thing that first uh martini and dump it on the top of a pumpkin and see what happens. Yeah. Dump it on a ribeye. It'll be a whole new kind of a thing. That first martini sound you had there, Tim, sounded almost like a futuristic Jetson's car. Jetson's car. Yes. I am a sound effects kind of a guy. Yeah.

You're my go-to sound effects guy. Foley guy. Dave Foley. Yeah. Dave Foley. Yeah, Dave Foley. Do you think Dave Foley did all the Foley on The Wrong Guy? Have you ever seen The Wrong Guy? Somebody told me it's really funny and I haven't seen it. And it was playing here at the theater and I couldn't go.

It was a couple months ago. I want to go. Wait, what's this movie? I've never heard of this, The Wrong Guy. Dave Foley's in a movie? It's a Dave Foley feature. Old or new? I've heard really good this. The Wrong Guy. Dave Foley's in a movie? It's a Dave Foley feature. Old or new? I've heard really good things as well.

Old. Older than Brain Candy? Probably newer than Brain Candy. Probably around the same era because he was... Yeah, what about Bugs Life? He was busy for Brain Candy because of news radio, and I'm sure he booked the wrong guy off of his news radio success probably. Was he not in Brain Candy?

He's in it, but i feel like the inside scoop was he wasn't as present in the writing and stuff like that maybe because he was split in time i haven't seen that movie in a long time i also didn't see any of their new special or their new yeah they also bought their book and i didn't read it i gotta i gotta catch up with the kids in the hall. Catch up with the kids. Save it to be your New Year's resolution. Remember last episode I was talking about going into a cheese shop and saying something like, oh, yeah, what's this type of cheese taste like? And they gave me free cheese samples at a very nice place. Right before I went in there, I saw Dave Foley on the street.

I said, hey, Dave, you're a big fan. And he said, oh, thanks. That's great, dude. And little did he know, I was going to swindle some cheese. So this is the third episode in a row a fancy cheese shop has come up. But I will say that... It's the same instance. It's the same stories.

Yeah, and I told my story twice in order to trigger Mike. Yeah, you guys need to go have new experiences. But it's kind of cool to see different angles. It's Rashomon-esque to hear about this cheese shop but have different things come up. I didn't know that Mike saw Dave Foley outside. That's huge. That's a huge part of the story.

Yeah. Damn. Hey, speaking of um huge stories right do you want to get into a little beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep it's time for booze news the body working to the level of precision that's needed to be risen to the top News. You can't do this, folks. You can't send in whole things. Kanger, I know it's you, Kanger.

That's a bad job. Bad job this week. Scolding him. That's a bad job. Bad job this week. Scolding him. That's a bad job. Jeff, he's paying tribute to you. You're a pop star named Dutz, and he's signal boosting your album, and you treat him like this?

Tim, I took great care to not just sample the exact Viacom Nickelodeon song in my record. I re-performed it, you see? Interpolated it. And this fucking Kanger's going to come around and make me air that very same piece of copyrighted audio? No. I don't stand for it. Do you think people are hearing that now and they're like, oh, that's what I remembered that Dutz thing from.

It's guts oh maybe blow up the spot tim you were gonna yell at me i was gonna yell at you that you you you scream at our booze news composers for using copyrighted music as if this podcast gonna get in trouble then when it's time for dutton's delights oh you can play as much of a song that you want you hear a song you like play as much of a song that you want. You hear a song, you like it, you play it. No questions asked. You mean when I talk about Maeve and Dave,

you are delicious? Something like that? When I do just play a song? Right. Like when Maeve and Dave are delicious, if a court came after us, you'd say, oh, well, I talked about the song. I editorialized. You're allowed to do that on a podcast.

But if you're talking about just being scanned by Apple Podcasts, they're not going to know that. They're just going to scan. I guess giving my take is like the whole big thing. Right, but the AI that's scanning isn't going to know you gave your take. They're just going to scan. When you scan, you just scan.

I don't know. AI is getting pretty good now. They might be able to know. They might be able to know. Yeah, but I wonder where this AI stuff is going a little creepy if you don't really think about it yeah and look it's not up to you or me or kanger it's up to the supreme court yeah they don't have bigger stuff to worry about it's up to clarence thomas himself he's got nothing better to do kanger i uh you should know better buddy well to to here's the thing if other people have

booze news themes that they want to somehow thread the needle on what makes the prince jefferson happy you can email your booze news themes to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com and here's the thing if you subscribe to our Patreon and you join our discord, you can have lunch with Eric Kang every day. He will, he's going to show you around. He will zoom in. He'll show you around bed style.

He'll prove why he's the beer guy. He'll take you shopping on down fifth Avenue, buy you a brand new suit. If you need it for, for those of you who are out there, they want to make a booze news theme, just remember this simple phrase that Jeff says. If the theme is too long, we can't play your song. I mean, the copyright material is too long.

Oh, yes. I mean the copyright material is too long Oh yes Should copyright be too long We'll never ever play your song Well it seems we do We've never not played it Well how about if the theme's too long We'll complain about your song Yeah that's true That's about right

Well what's the actual booze news please Okay well speaking of the discord This booze news comes to us from Jackie B., our old friend from Philadelphia. Hey, all right. Great. She sent me a fascinating article. I don't know if you guys saw this in the Washington Post. Bottomless brunch restaurants in California are charging vomit fees. Yeah, I've heard of this.

There is, in the article they mention a restaurant in Oakland and a restaurant in San Francisco, both of which have started each charging $50 if you barf. So they give you the bottomless mimosas, but then if you barf at the restaurant or other drunken behavior,

you get hit with a $50 charge. That's fair. Yeah, that is fair. Also, so I guess champagne is kind of the puker, huh? Like that's a more, champagne's maybe more puke-inducing than some other drinks. I've never really hit the bottomless mimosas hard. I mean, because I guess you're drinking a lot of OJ as you go, but it would be weird over the course of a two hour brunch to drink so much that you barf.

You know what I realized? We used to do, Mike and I used to do, and Tim, you've been, basically bottomless bloodies at our Bloody Mary brunches. And that was when I learned you can't just drink like three Bloody Marys. No. You'll be down for the count. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be salted out. Your body will shrivel up like E.T. when he's all white.

Who's the white turd? That's how I always feel when I get salted out. Get E.T. out of that puddle. He's our friend. I love Bloody Marys, and I'm very sensitive to salt, so I always just drink one. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll order a double so that it's double the vodka. Or sometimes you order Bloody Mary halfway down.

I'll say to the server, hey, can I have a shot of vodka? Whatever vodka was in this. They bring that out. I pour it in. Now I'm having a little bit more of a stronger thing. You don't need to have a lot of tomato and spices. It's just the first one is nice. I thought you were going to say you drink it halfway down

and then you say, waiter, this drink sucks. I'm not paying for it. Look what I did when I got that ramp. That ramp martini. Yeah. Do you like this? No. Take it away. Can I have more? it away can i have more i'll take something else i'll take i just wanted to say that in reference to the these 50 charges of vomit fees

why is it always just pinned on the barfer and why are we not looking at the problem of over service in America? Because we have talked about several innocent young comedy rockers trying to enjoy their night. And they're being viciously over served at establishments nationwide. Yeah. Well, yeah. Wherever these guys go, this problem seems to follow them. Still cropping up. We need to start getting map tuning. We should have put pins on the United States map to find out where over-service...

Oh my god, we were just in El Paso and there was a rise in over-service. That's bad. We don't realize we're the common denominator. Over-service is happening there too, we should have known. Yeah. We should have put that together. Oh well. Raleigh, North Carolina?

Oh my god, what is going on here? Whew, sad. Really, Raleigh? Raleigh? With Seth and Amy? Raleigh? Folks, that's it for Booze News. Perfect What was that Jeff? That's just the end of booze news

And now it's time for the drink of day The drink of the day folks Drink of day The Black Lagoon You've had? Of not no you've heard no no well i mean we've talked a little bit about it i didn't know it was called the black lagoon i didn't know the name until i a text i received this very day you know it's a good name um it's a name good enough to inspire you to create a drink around the name amazing i think especially around the halloween time i'll have a black lagoon you know yeah got a nice ring

to it this is good it's very very intriguing name if i saw that a menu i would say oh and you know if i saw it on a card like johnny's dream cocktail business card i'd say look at that i've i've already got a question i want to ask but i need to talk about the drink yeah well it all started with the great eel sauce hunt yeah you know yeah uh you might remember the yule mule i tasked myself with creating a drink that uses um molasses because I thought it was like a nice wintry, grandfatherly ingredient, underused. Every time you want to have a drink, you start with a dark, thick motor oil type of substance.

Yes, yes. I'm thinking the eel sauce drink came out of, you saw molasses and said, oh, this kind of looks like eel sauce. Well, yeah, and I realized eel sauce is the molasses of the deep, you know? That's right. If you actually stop

to think about it. That's true. It's thick and syrupy and sweet. And I said, this could probably sub in for some simple and bring a little flavor. But I was like, what to do with it, you know? So I decided I wanted eel sauce. It's extremely hard to find, it turns out.

Couldn't find it at Albertsons. Couldn't find it at Lassen's. Couldn't find it at H Mart. Have you been to H Mart? I'm surprised. I love H Mart. Oh, my God. I had never been.

It's fantastic. It's really fun. The music, like, they're playing, like, Charliex and beyonce and shit loud in a supermarket cool okay hip people everywhere this is like the koreatown one um it's the only one i've been to hip people everywhere oh my god i bought a bunch of snacks it felt like the club it's a really fun place to go looking for like uh love snacks and like spicy hot crunchers. Yeah. And so, you know, I step in there and I see like there's an aisle and a half of sauces, but I can't find eel sauce.

Sushi restaurants call it eel sauce. You can find it called sushi sauce. You can find it called unagi. Sushi sauce. I always start out calling it, can i get a big barrel of sushi sauce but if you're if you're calling it the black lagoon i wanted eel sauce not sushi sauce so out of the entire aisle i found one thing called eel sauce but it looked too western the other thing was kickoman a brand we know and trust and they have unagi which is eel sauce

so i get it i bring it home and i try it and it's just like a little stankier than i remember and i was like i know i can go down to the sushi place down the street and just get eel sauce but i wanted a version that anybody could get so i tried to get all these things on amazon ultimately I did end up walking down the street to Kazoku Sushi and getting three little tubs of eel sauce. Nice. So in my trials. And tribulations.

I started with a whiskey sour, thinking like whiskey, lemon, eel. That's pretty good. And I did the IBA version. I was shocked. I knew that you've been toying with uh the idea of an eel sauce drink for a long time and then i because it's so savory i was thinking what spirit will he use and i was a kind of imagining assuming vodka or gin just because of the the

savory aspect but then when i think you're going japanese sushi japanese whiskey's very big in japan they got toki suntory you know like so so you're not crazy jeff you're not not but you're right though um because it is sweet and salty right i would say those are like maybe the two it's like soy sauce or teriyaki sauce with um some sweet and some salt so i did think hey maybe just a martini that's just vodka and eel sauce yeah yeah and i shouldn't mention i said in the last episode there's no eel in eel sauce it's sake mirin which is a sweet rice wine sugar and soy sauce all kind of whipped together there's's sake and eel sauce? Apparently. Wow.

So they have no alcohol, though. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's why it was difficult for you to find. Is it called eel sauce because it's sauce for eel? Like when you have eel sushi, is that the sauce that tends to be on it? Exactamundo, Tim. Because like pizza sauce is sauce on a pizza. It's not sauce that's made out of pizza

but that would be good imagine dough sauce and and tomato into dough sauce dough sauce jeez i'll work on it i will say also um so i tried first i tried the kick-home-in and it was um well like i, a little stanky. And then I went through my fridge and I said, well, I do have some teriyaki sauce. Maybe I'll just try one with teriyaki sauce. But that just had like chunks of sesame seed and like ginger and like onion or garlic in it or something. Not good. So I am happy I ended up with just your sushi restaurant eel sauce.

Here's the recipe. 0.3 ounces, 10 milliliters. Eel sauce. Ounce and a half, 45 milliliters. Whiskey. Three quarter ounce, 22 milliliters. Lemon juice. Joie de lemon. Ah, yes. Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a cocktail glass. I went up. Okay. Okay. Cocktail glass meaning like a, what's that? Like a rocks glass or martini glass?

Like a martini glass. Or a coupe. Jeff doesn't like those. He tends to not like those. He thinks they're too tippy. That's why I think so. This is crazy.'s it's shocking i'll also say mike you know just a sidebar and talk about what we're looking here jeff did something interesting because he's sour we've learned typically every

sour yeah yep you go two ounces uh liquor one ounce of something sour one ounce of something sour, one ounce of something sweet. Now, Jeff, what he has done is he's sort of used that as his foundation here. He really dialed back the eel stuff with an ounce and a half of whiskey. He dialed the eel sauce down to 10 milliliters. So he must feel like he doesn't want this to be an extremely eel saucy drink. Very interesting. He wants it to be well balanced. He doesn't want this to be an extremely eel saucy drink very interesting that is very wants it to be well balanced he doesn't want to knock us over the head he wants to be well balanced exactly right tim if we could also continue to sidebar a 10 ounce 10 10 milliliters yeah is just the was that tim or jeff saying yeah both those us. Sorry, you're sidebarging. I thought I was sidebarging.

Yeah, this is a sidebar, Jeff. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. The 10 ounce, that's just the small side of a jigger, but a little less because that's 15, right? The small side of a jigger is a half ounce, which is 15, correct. So you just do a little less. Now, this is if you have a jigger that is one ounce and a half ounce because I've got jiggers that are- I do, I do. An ounce and a half and three quarter ounce.

I got one that's two ounces and one ounce. Look, the reason I arrived at that, it was I pivoted to a New York shrub. Remember the New York shrub? Oh, yeah. What was in that? That was like a bar spoon of balsamic reduction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeff, you were also the one pushing for us to do that drink.

You love dark black, dark sauce. Gooey, goopy, savory. You want everything else to be fighting up against the dark sludge. A weird little thing. So what I noticed was like this was essentially two bar spoons, but I don't know if you can say a bar spoon with something that's so gooey that it's like coating the top side and bottom side of your bar spoon. I agree. I kind of hate that when you don't account for like the amount of ingredient that is lost. I wonder about that

sometimes even just with the jigger and with some of the sweet stuff that really clings to the side of that, the walls. Well, so this one though, it sounds like we're going to have to do the eel sauce first, and then it all washes it out. I recommend, yeah, however you work with this stuff, folks, because it's thick. It's a pain in the ass. Is it? Yeah.

I haven't opened my eel sauce yet. Ooh, let's see. Well, shall we get to it? Yes, yes. All right, folks, we'll be right back after this. Great. Exciting. folks we'll be right back after this exciting and we're back with the hot new drink of halloween 2023 the black lagoon this black lagoon looks a little brown it's's the Brown Lagoon, let's be honest.

Now, I'm doing everything I can in my ability not to get into turd talk here. It's not proper talk. Jeff, this looks like soupy diarrhea. Michael, the very thing I said I was trying to avoid. Your co-host is doing everything he can. Everything in my power, and then you walk all over me. I don't know what I can do other than say that. That was the clean version.

All right. Before we get into discussion, let's just do first sips. Yes, thank you. It's that simple. Bottoms up. Bottoms up. All right. up. Bounce up. Alright.

Mike, you made a face. I made a shiver. It sort of shivered me right down to my core. This happens sometimes on this show. You take your first sip, you don't know what it's going to be. You kind of go, what is that?

But I have a feeling I'm going to like this as I keep drinking it. But that was just my initial shiver. I'll give you my initial shiver was I'm very lemon forward, which I was not expecting. But I'm almost wondering, eel sauce is a hard ingredient to work with. You know how when you use honey in a drink, it tends to be honey syrup, where you coat it with water before.

But it would be funny if your recipe had just said, yeah, what, eel sauce syrup? You know eel sauce syrup. It's half eel sauce, half water. You pre-boil it before but i did notice um i you know as a fan of umami and fan of uh of the savory drinks i'm i'm on board for this one though i do feel like i lost a lot of eel sauce on the inside of my measuring cup and then tried to scoop it out.

And even then while my bar spoon, when I was scooping still lost it. So that may have pushed the lemon a little farther to the front. Cause what I've got right now is an, is an extremely lemony Snicket, which to me is not a bad thing. Yeah. I kind of used a teaspoon to get that 10 milliliters. And then even before i shook it i was like stirring the spoon around trying to like coax it off the spoon and then using my finger to like kind of like get it all in there that should all be in your recipe in the method you should say jam your finger in there try it all around scoop it out uh now jeff did you did you try this before you yes mike i worked very hard on it in the test kitchen.

Okay, okay. So you know what it tastes like. And you like that. Well... You don't like it. I did my best. This does sort of feel like when you didn't do the reading and you got to do a book report, you know what I'm saying?

You get character names from Sparknotes kind of a thing. But look at the bright side pros and cons you ever had a drink like this before i mean to really like this to back it up you know like did a big picture yeah it's nice to experience anything you know you could be dead you could be dead the senses are beautiful. That's true. Hold on. My parents are calling. I have to mute the call.

Do they know that this is the time you usually do this and they forget or they? Here's what's insane. I have a weekly family FaceTime. Yeah. That is not now. And this is just my parents always want to go rogue and check in. And they just happen to every time uniquely choose the very same time. How dare they want to connect with their son?

You're going rogue. Well, I was going to say to both of you that this past weekend, I went to a New York Knicks basketball game. It was wonderful. Had a great time. I got myself a cocktail. I didn't go for the beers. And I said, just give me a Jameson on the Rocks. They did that.

And he said, do you want a lemon in it? I said, what? He said, do you want a lemon? I said, yes. I never hear that, but yes, I do want that. And he did it. And then as I was going to pay, I said, oh, you said lemon, right? I'll take lemon. He's like, alright, put it in there. Do you want some more? I said, yeah, put a little more. You've never had it, but you want a little more.

It was too lemony. Yeah, no shit. Why were you telling him more when you hadn't tasted it? Because I wanted to go whole hog. But then whole hog was too lemony. Yes, but my point is this. It slowed me down, the drink. Because like I was just saying about this drink,

the first sip I said, ooh, that's sweet. But I got used to it, and I liked it, and it slowed the drinking down. Yeah. You know how some... Maybe I shouldn't make... That's one of the features of Black Lagoon. I shouldn't make drinks that are bad to drink just to slow my drinking down.

I really don't want to take sips. Oh, it's disgusting. But it's better at the end. I've heard my college roommate was telling me about a diet where you just put a lot of tons of hot sauce on your food so that you can't finish your plate of food. Wow. That's a terrible idea. Kind of a similar thing, like just creating obstacles for you to ingest. But that wouldn't stop me.

Obstacles of ingestion. Could be a good album. You want to talk about hot sauce and ingestion? I got something for you. I made some pasta sauce, but I made spaghetti. It's pretty simple, pretty standard pasta. And I had some pasta sauce that I put on there. And what I did, remember the movie, did the hot

ones blow out? Sauce or chipped it? The warm... They're one and the same, my boy. What was it called, though? Warm Singulars. Yeah, Warm Singulars episode. We had that really hot, that bomb that was way hot. The second hottest. Crazy. Last dab? Oh, Apollo.

Yeah, Apollo last dab. Apollo. Last dab? Apollo. Apollo last dab. I use that for things sparingly. And in my pasta sauce, I put two drops of that. It just gave it enough heat for Italian pasta. You don't usually see heat in Italian dishes. And I said,

well, once again, I have... What about an arrabbiata? That's one of the few. I was trying to think of that word just now. Damn! It just, once again, I have... What about an arabiata? Mm-hmm. That's one of the few. I was trying to think of that word just now. Damn! It just, you know, what I did, and Jeff, you did this too, kindred spirits, I love this stuff. You're fearless in the kitchen. Fearless.

Me? I love it. You mean it? Yeah. Coming up with a drink like this, you got to have no fear. Well, I mean, look, I can't say i love it this this falls short of what i expected i expected it to just be like i'm thinking maybe teriyaki sauce but no it really is the thick eel sauce this ended up like a bullshot this is bullshot ish to me oh this is very bullshot you

know what this is what i kind of expected the bullshot to taste like like if you told me what the bullshot was i'm like yeah it's probably like this i mean what is the bullshot to taste like like if you told me what the bullshot was i'm like yeah it's probably like this i mean what is the bullshot is what whiskey beef bouillon and or vodka vodka lemon and beef bouillon and oh yeah yeah i did not like that i i liked it i feel like this one i just maybe it's maybe the the eel sauce is bumping against the whiskey for me is it's kind of like my like my greatest fear was that vodka might might team up with it the way that it did with uh with the bullshot but it's hard to like when you're tasting ingredients you want to just be like oh i'm just tasting the taste of this drink and not like searching for the ingredients but But I have a little moment where I go, oh, I'm getting some of the eel sauce.

And then Jim Beam bourbon bashing up against it. Now Lemon is in the middle there saying, hey, everyone, I'm steering the ship. You guys don't worry. But then Lemon, I know you. You're very sour. Sour, sour, hour after hour. Yeah, Lemon, your name is good around here. I don't know about your new friend. I feel like whiskey and lemon, delicious.

Eel sauce and lemon, delicious. Whiskey and eel sauce, they need a greater diplomat than lemon to bring them together. Ooh. Well, I'll tell you this. I even looked up the flavor triangle. You've seen it. Yep. Where it's like salty, sweet,

and it tells you like which ones amplify each other and which ones balance out and cancel each other. Ooh, I've never seen this before. It looks like a pentagram, Mike. It would scare the daylights out of you. Is this just for drink making or is it for just taste in general? All foods.

All foods. Anything touching the tongue. And so I saw that like, oh, bitter could balance this out, all this salty and sweet. So I tried one that had a little bit, just like a dash of Angostura in there. And it brought out the fishy quality. And I said, well, that's not working. Don't do that. What if you used fish sauce in your drink a teeny little bit of fish sauce in a martini could be okay what's fish sauce

you know it's it's it's very similar yeah it's like soy sauce just crazy salty made from fish hey you know what could be good um fly by jing just came out with a new sauce that is um preposterously expensive once again but compared to like you know sichuan chili oils that are like three bucks this one's like 16 but i do like fly by jing and their normal one has almost like a a sweet uh sun-dried tomato vibe to it but this new one i forget what it's called it's darker it's savory it's umami it's uh soy sauce this type of a vibe damn that sounds good jeff can you speak on the name the black lagoon at all did you ever see well we know it's we know why it's the eel sauce is black and stuff but But are you Creature of the Black Lagoon?

Is that part of your wheelhouse? I know you like the skeddy movies. The Creature used to not be my guy. You know what I mean? And I specifically didn't like The Shape of Water, famously. But I did see at the, not the Vista, the Los Feliz 3, Creature from the Black Lagoon, 3D, black and white. Oh, from like the 50s? Yeah dude it is so impressive they had a guy in a fish suit doing stunts long takes no breathing apparatus visible

i don't know how they did it oh underwater i think they probably hit a tube because i was expecting like what is this going to be like fake underwater like lost in space or or something i was just my mind was conjuring like shitty 50s underwater fights no they really had a guy in a full body fish suit who i guess was like a circus performer doing long takes doing fights without any sort of visible tank or anything. He just held his breath. I don't know how he did it. Fish man.

And then also watching it, you could see there are so many scenes that serious Jaws vibes, serious Jurassic Park vibes, because it's just like they're on an expedition to like, and they run in with a fish man but they even do the the um you know when they feed the raptors in jurassic park and they lower in the cow and just that like mangled mess comes out they do that exact thing in creature from the

black lagoon with a with a cow uh i forget what they feed it i want to say something like a cow that's what's funny about like spielberg and lucas and stuff they're the movies they liked were so uh are like from the 50s and they're yeah stuff we haven't seen and lucas and stuff there the movies they liked were so uh are like from the 50s and they're yeah stuff we haven't seen and it's and they'll freely admit their they used to go to the theater they'd pay a nickel and they watch pictures all day you know when they were in that theater the problems of the world just melted away and they were hooked locked in the stories on the screen oh larger than lifeger than life, Mike. Mike, you got to understand

this is larger than life. Mike, are you getting this? These boys, they dreamed of being, and then these days, now they get to make their own pictures on the cinema screen.

Cinema scope. They are the creators and destroyers of worlds. I think they enjoy the power. I'm telling you this and then you're also saying it. Who are we telling this? All three of us are making the same point?

Yes! The listeners are like, no, they don't like movies and they don't make movies. You couldn't be more wrong. They never made movies. Listen to me. Spielberg has made a movie, at least. Listen to me. Spielberg has made a movie, at least.

You hear this thing about people watching movies on mute just to see how a movie is, how shots are composed. You asked me about this, Mike. Yeah, you ever do that? There's one that is popular. No, no, it was a very popular one that people watch on mute is Raiders. Raiders of the Lost Ark. And there's even a version of it uploaded somewhere where it's Raiders of the Lost Ark,

black and white. So it's really just making you concentrate on like framing and stuff like that. But I think they put in the social network soundtrack. Like I've seen that. Yeah. And it's just like, it's kind of like a cool way of just having something going.

So it's not totally silent, but it makes you focus just on like raw rhythms. It's just like a sort of a bare anxious heartbeat, you know? And there is that part where the guy who is just about cut up

by the spitting airplane wheel, airplane propeller, he's like, lose the the. It's cleaner. Oh! Oh! That was not funny

and it was a waste of everyone's time. Hey, let me take it back to the drink. Let me take it back to 79. What would you change? And be honest. I'd make it a shot. It's not a sipper for me, but I would make it a fun shot,

and then everyone would go, Oh, it's sauce, man, but it's good. Oh, it's kind of good, but it's like a pickleback shot, you know? Tim, that's very astute. Here's what you do. I love that shot idea, and I want to take the ball and run with it. Make it even smaller. Don't even take it.

Take a shot, and you accidentally spill it all over the floor so you can't drink it. No. Your friends would be crazy to make you drink something like that. No, you make it a shot, and guess what? You put in it, Jeff. As a garnish hanging out the side, a gummy worm. Okay, I was going to say, like, an eel? Yep, a gummy eel, but I don't know if they have gummy eels. A piece of fish?

They must have gummy eels. Man, a floppy little tiny eel flopping over the side of the glass. That would be nice. Yeah. Just a little sliver of meat. Okay, they have gummy eels, which I see is from the Arthur Wiki fandom, so it must be something that Arthur the aardvark eats. Okay, or anteater, whatever the fuck he was.

Arthur is an aardvark? Oh, an anteater. What is Arthur? He's something. Aardvark, I'm going to say. Electric eels. Okay, this is a thing. You could probably find one in, like, the Trader Joe's Scandinavian Swimmers.

I love those. I love that. And I love that name every single time I eat one, I laugh. Like, the mental backflips of like okay swedish fish right right right hmm scandinavian swimmers that's like when we wrote for comedy bang bang on ifc we that was like such a joke format we used all the time like parody names and then trader joe's just did it for real they know they're being funny they're good all right i'm seeing something here i'm seeing something called electric eels.

You're basically putting gummy worms into baking soda mixture, and the worm sits in the baking soda for 10 minutes. Try to fill the gummy worms into a fork. We're in the weeds here. Vinegar? I don't know what that is. Also, the gummy worms are going to get hard if you try to put them into a liquid that's cold, and it's going to be a chewing fest.

I like it visually, Mike, but I like the taste of it. The taste of this has too many problems. You need the gummy worm to chase it. Because this drink is so... It'll stop you dead in your tracks and you've got to have

some of the worm to keep you going. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make a small, just because I don't want to pivot so hard from the drink. But I am so curious about the vodka and eel sauce. Yeah. Because eel sauce is similar to like an olive juice, maybe. It's salty, is it not? It's a little sweet. I'm going to tell you something right now, and I don't mean, I mean this to help you,

to guide you. Yes? I just smelled the drink. Yeah. And it smells like dog food. What the fuck? It smells like kibble. When I, I had a dog growing up, and we had to go down to the kitchen and get a scoop

full of dog kibble. Folks, that's one of the things, that's one of the things about the Black Lagoon. You don't smell it. Don't smell it. Oh, it kind of does. Go down to the kitchen and get a scoop full of dog kibble. That's one of the things about the Black Lagoon. You don't smell it. Don't smell it. Maybe that's what you do with the gummy worm. You put one end up, one nostril on the other end. Yeah, that's funny. You know there are drinks like, you know, the zombie you can only have two in a night?

Like a septum-piercing gummy worm? Tiki bars only let you have two zombies in a night. It could be cool on the menu. It says, Black Lagoon, please place gummy eel in those first. Please garnish in those. Parentheses worm. Ooh. Well, let's take a little break for round two.

And look, guys, your fate is as entwined with the success of this drink as mine is i was trying to just throw you under the bus and come out looking squeaky clean myself no no no no your answer is dirty as mine my man i'm conjuring up currently memories of uh the uh grimace piss backlash yeah but we didn't hang you out to dry. I was told that this was a not even order once. Oh yeah, that was a not order in the first place. Not order in the first place. I think that I'm going to make a vodka Black Lagoon.

And I'm going to try it with vodka. With lemon? And I'm going to see if I love it. Yeah, vodka, lemon, eel sauce. And we'll see what happens. What if you did, Jeff, what if you did, instead of eel sauce, you did creme de cassis or something dark? Mike.

Nasty. The eel sauce is the whole thing yeah i know it is can you imagine if it wasn't i know imagine if it wasn't it was like a fruit cocktail or something well some work to be done huh i'm gonna do i'm gonna do half ounce eel sauce, ounce lemon juice, two ounce vodka. And if it's good, that'll be good. Half ounce eel sauce. Yow. Jesus, Tim. Yep. Yep.

Wait, give me those measurements again. Half ounce eel sauce. Half ounce eel sauce, ounce lemon juice, two ounce vodka. Love it. Wow. Let me do something like that, my damn self. All right, folks. We're going to take a little break.

You listen to the ads unless you're a slophead patrone. And we'll see you right back here after this. Peace. And we're back with round two, Black Lagoon. Yes. Mike, what'd you end up doing? I did the same thing as Tim, basically. I didn't make anything.

You what? You went without? I went without on this day. You're still enjoying the first one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to finish this and then really think about what I'm going to make next. Sure, okay. Jeff, do you know what I'm tasting? I really want to pick my spot specifically about what I'm going to make next. Sure. Okay. Jeff, do you know what I'm tasting?

I really want to pick my spot specifically for where I'm going to puke. The toilet. It'll be good. Now, I took a big spoon of eel sauce straight to the dome and was tasting it. And what is it? You know, I guess it's like a teriyaki. It's like a lot of things. But, Jeff, do you know what has given me that molasses-y?

There really is a... There's like an earthiness, huh? There's a dark, grippy earthiness underneath all that sweetness. Is it a root? Well, sake or sweet rice wine? I just don't know. I just don't know. I mean, soy sauce has a little stank to it.

There's soy sauce in there. Well, sips? Yep. So this is more of the martini approach. I did the same measurements as you did. Remind us what those ingredients were, or the measurements were on this one. This was half ounce eel sauce, ounce lemon, two ounce vodka.

Still very lemon forward. I can't get away from this lemon i'm having these lemon drinks it is balanced though i gotta say like that's good truly when i sent you guys the recipe i was like okay i found one that's not gross we could agree this isn't gross right right it's not as gross when you're when you're thinking outside the bun you're taking big swings you're being an innovator you got to commend yes you for trying something and usually that shit can blow up in your face pretty bad you didn't make like you know um for example a grimace piss just kind of a terrible well you know that's right then and you want you if you were to put blame on that it would be you'd put it on three people because we all together.

Yeah. Ride or die. Ride or die. I think for me, Jeff, it's more like the sourness is more up front. I don't know. That's that lemon, though. I know, I know. Don't blame the eel.

No, let's get rid of the sour. This should be an eel sauce martini. It should be that one little eyedropper of eel sauce in a beautiful glass of vodka. No, a nice big dump. He says no. Okay, well, how about my idea for the shots? It's a shot. You take a shot and then you grimace.

Yes. And you go, that was kind of good. Yeah. Thank you. You're paying, right? And you go, that was kind of good. Thank you. You're paying, right?

Maybe the eel sauce is more at home atop a crunchy California roll than in one's glass. Yeah. The thing about eel sauce, I never use it anyway. Like, I don't even, I stay away from it. What? What do you put on top of your crunchy rolls? I don't know. I do whatever they put on top of your crunchy rolls i don't know i do whatever they put on top of it i'm just uh i am soy sauce and wasabi mix you know that flaky the flaky stuff that the crumbles that show up on sush yeah you put a little of that thick dark crap on there it

tastes so good no i you're right that is tim you're not much of a sush guy huh you know i am uh more recently i early on in my culinary exploits i made a choice to not learn too much about sushi and not learn too much about wine because i knew those were two things i couldn't really afford to get too high like up the shelf so like i mean like you know like in my 20s and stuff so i'm i'm still learning about both but i do love sushi and um we got a good sushi spot in the neighborhood i particularly love i just really love salmon so like uh i i hit the salmon and salmon rolls and salmon this and salmon i do a lot of rainbow rolls i love sushi i just don't like you're not not going to catch me at the fancy spots because it's sort of lost. There's a bottom tier sushi that I don't like,

but mid-level sushi bars are all wonderful to me. And then when I start paying like a lot of money for it, I'm like, I don't know that I have the power. Yeah. The difference isn't, the difference isn't enough. You know what a crazy thing is?

I want to say near sunset and vine, there's a Walgreens that has a sushi bar in it and they have like four sushi chefs making great sushi at this one weird walgreens i think it used to be where tower records was or something oh okay or no no it's like that last borders i i want to say that this place maybe went out of business and this location and that like somebody, John Waters or some king of camp lamented when it closed because yeah, it was an oddball sort of drugstore. I remember this place. Wait a minute. Didn't they at Albertsons near you guys, didn't somebody just crash their car into the Zen Sushi?

Yeah. Is it Zen Sushi over there? Yeah, Zen Sushi and coffee bean tea leaf. near you guys didn't the somebody just crashed their car into the zen sushi yeah is it zen sushi over there and yeah zen sushi and um coffee bean tea leaf i've been to zen a couple times i've been to coffee bean tea leaf a hundred times that's a nice little place inside too it's kind of a cozy little spot yeah sad this was a crazy occurrence because this happens in la a lot like the improv olympic uh in hollywood got a car smashed into it cindy's diner in uh eagle rack got got a car smashed into it but this wow this lady smashed multiple times she backed up and smashed like so she was on a on a rampage i don't know man why would you pick those two spots and both of them was she drunk well what do you mean i mean i guess you're right alcohol

yeah i guess you're right like it does seem intentional because it's so thorough and in one spot but i didn't read the whole article there was something else like she like she did some weird shit it was that it was definitely a like a psychotic episode of somebody's doing oh like she lit something on fire she like took possessions out of her car and then put him out in the street and ran over them too like this was somebody having a meltdown okay and i ain't talking meltdown comics sure no sure no he's all right i'd love to hear your final thoughts please shit i thought i gave mine drink it as a shot have it in around october everyone will say well that's rather thought-provoking yeah i well would you order again

too no what i i i'd order it as a shot yeah okay in the place. I like this shot idea. It would mean somebody would need to get it to me, meaning I would not order it again myself. Somebody would need to get it to you. Somebody would need to order it for me. So for me, it's a not order again. It's a not

a don't order initially at all. Yeah, okay. But it's probably not going to make it back into my world. Ooh, ouch. A bit of a whiff for Duddy. Now, here's the thing, though, for you, Jeff. Is it an order again for you? Hmm.

Well, throughout the experimentation process in this pod, I've had about five of these. Okay. That's a lot. I can't say I'd be looking forward to a sixth. I like the shot idea. Was a bull shot an actual shot, or was it like a tight little teeny potent little drink?

Yeah. It was on the rocks. But I will say, Jeff, I don't think there's, I don't think this is, this drink is not done yet. Yes. There's a drink in here somewhere. There's a Black Lagoon out there. Yes.

You just haven't bathed in it yet. Jeff, here's what I want you to do. When you're out at a sushi bar and you want to be a magnanimous character, what if you order a round of sake shots and then you use the eel sauce as a chaser or there's something where you're kind of like licking your hand. Like a glob. Like a glob.

Like a big salty chaser. Oh, you dip your chopstick in the eel sauce to a sake shot. And there's something, there's something that could be like a bandera or a pickleback or a fun moment. I just don't want to be reaching and sipping. I'm showing the

wait staff have you ever done this and it's like a gross thing they've never heard of yeah they love that no i've actually never done that nor will i again nor do i even do it with you this it looks gross all right folks it's not an order again but you know you know there's a corpse survivor number two yeah i just heard this name checked in a film that I was watching. Do you have a number two recipe ready? I think like maybe out there someday, you know, when like at the end of a horror movie, you defeat the monster. Yeah. But you have the sinking suspicion that it's not over yet.

You know, I feel like there could be a Black Lagoon number two out there someday. Ooh. Freaky, man. Maybe the number two won't look so much like a number two like this one. Yes, yes. Maybe it won't look like dog shit. Looks like diarrhea and smells like dog shit. Let me guess what it tastes like.

No, I meant to say not dog shit. I meant to say dog food i'm gonna say dog food what the beginning of dog shit i'm giving you a hard time jeff i appreciate this because uh that was a good out i was gonna go to the outro well but you still want i also want to say i appreciate this and what you did for the pot thanks and know what? It doesn't taste bad to me. It just tastes like a food item or something. It tastes like you're drinking a sauce. It has no refreshingness to it.

It has no redeemable qualities, you see. But I know food, I don't find refreshing. I find it good to eat. Tasteful. Satiating. You don't have a nice plate of meatloaf and they go. That's our show.

Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough of us boys, trot on over to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Plunk down the five, get double the pleasure you know you want to yeah man thanks for getting on it we love you thanks folks for tuning in we'll see you again next week and hey tell a friend why don't you and not us don't tell us we're not your actual

friends we're your parasocial icons. Bye. Bye, baby. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. All right.