The Sloppy Boys - 161. Angry Balls

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

The guys combine Angry Orchard Crisp Apple and Fireball Cinnamon Whisky for a seasonal (regional?) treat!Recipe via fireballwhisky.comAvailable in select stores Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Yeah, you know it to be true. He's here. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we are your hosts of the podcast with what was it timeless integrity timeless integrity oh timeless integrity that's right jeff i don't know about this new catchphrase i think that we want to be the new hey everyone flashy buzzy and fuck off

everyone if you don't know it, fuck you. That's the vibe. We're not helping you at all. It's the flash in the pan. Catch it now or live to regret it. Catch it now or fuck off forever. Anytime we do like just catching

up, the folks who were just listening, we do this thing. We don't do that anymore. No. Yeah. Let's not do the, we're catching up. This is who were just listening, we do this thing. We don't do that anymore. No. Yeah. Let's not do the, we're catching up, this is booze news. We talk about booze-related news. No, we'll just go into it. They should know by now. We want it to be one of those podcasts where people are like, I tried to get into it, but I didn't know what they were talking about.

What was going on? They kept saying, bip, bip, bip, and they were saying nasty man over and over again. It was awful. And I've been listening since the first episode. It was awful. Oh, well, then you have the problem. 160 hours of pain.

Oh. Folks, don't do that to yourself. Switch over to Smartless. If you're one of those dumb podcast listeners. No, there's a pod. No, that's good. No, no. Switch to the Patreon.

Yes. We should start doing ads for Smartless on this show. When we go to commercial, I'm like, Smartless is a pod where you're going to have a completely fun time. We should start buying ad space on this show to promote the Patreon. That's true. It's not a bad idea, Mike. I don't know if it's a smart idea for me to say mean things about the Smartless host, but I'm going to go ahead and do it. Oh, boy. I'm creeped out by jason bateman's hair what you know when a when an older guy has floppy

hair it's like ken burns finally changed his hair when an older guy has boyish hair it creeps me out what do you think you're one of the beach boys nah yeah. Yeah. You rich and you live up on Mulholland Drive. Have some short white hair for a change. Yeah. Look at Johnny Knoxville. Hey, I was at a Hollywood party recently and I saw Johnny Knoxville in the flesh. And yeah, that shock of white hair is, well, shocking. Distinct.

Wow. Dear, near, near wow dear near near dear near near you went to a hollywood party were you were you catering the event well i was catering to uh some of the people there um no i'm out i'm out there man i'm taking big swings hey have you read my scripts big swings hey have you read my scripts that you're in that's my opening line i mean that would be a good patreon the sloppy boys network and like get get recordings of ourselves going up like hey how's it going what projects you working out oh man that's a good patreon episode is like hearing like but you're sincerely doing it like hearing me try to schmooze somebody yeah i wouldn't even know where to begin let me tell you this though this is some major name droppage i i go to this hollywood this is a extremely

top tier event that i managed to get an invite to i walk in i ride up the elevator alone cool i i open elevator door opens, empty lobby. I turn to the left. The first, and I'm thinking, I'm going to see some celebs. The first face I see. Jason Statham. Owen Wilson. Oh, nice.

Oh, come on. Owen Wilson leaving the party. And what happens? He's walking by himself. He's leaving the party. He looks at me and goes, hi, how's it going? Can you believe that? Get the fuck out of here. That great that's great wow now i don't know if he

recognized me from 2012 i was a receptionist in an office and he walked through and said hey how's it going so uh no timmy read your scripts i read your scripts i'm not really I don't really like them. You've got Act 2 problems. Did he? I bet way back in his brain he remembered seeing you all those years ago. It's not a face you forget. Yeah, or a stench. A lot of times odor is connected with memory. Yeah, yeah, the olfactory senses.

Yes, there's a strong sense memory, and that's why I always try to make sure before I go to a Hollywood party I don't shower for a week so the pheromones are really getting out there. This guy smells like he eats 30 ribeyes a year. 31. 31. Oh, I

had a little bit of a ribeye myself recently. A little bit. Mike, when it comes to ribeyes, you either have one or you don't. Okay, you don't have a little bit of a ribeye myself recently. A little bit? Mike, when it comes to ribeyes, you either have one or you don't. Can you not have a little bit of a ribeye? I brought some to the leftovers home and had it tonight for dinner. It was a bone-in ribby, and I had him do it medium well. No, Michael. And the people I was with, they said,

this is crazy. I said, guys, this is what I do now. So you undercook the chicken and you overcook the steak. That's a weird little flip. Under, over. No, not overcook. It's a different flavor. You understand? Okay. If this meat's so good, this is what I say, if this meat's so good, it should be able to handle any temperature.

What restaurant? Smith and Walensky's. Love it. Love it. Manhattan, baby. There you go. Very cool. Very cool spot.

What drink did I get? Did I get a drink? I did get a drink. Martini. I'm sure I got a martini. Shing. How else would you have cut through the steak in your stomach? Yeah.

Your incisors aren't going to do it. You need a martini. Big glass of milk i did i i feel like i've probably squawked about this on on the show before but i follow some steak instagram accounts no they what they do i swear they're doing this on purpose where they'll they'll show like a video a close-up of a guy like cooking a ribeye and cutting it and showing how it's cooked. And it'll be an overcooked ribeye. And then it'll, the caption will be like perfect or nah.

And then there's like 4,000 comments being like overcooked, overcooked. You ruined it. You ruined it. And I'm like, they're doing that on purpose. They're overcooked. Overcooked.

This is how they get it. Uh, engagement is all the mad dads are on their Instagrams being like, overcooked. You ruined it. That piece of fine meats. Oh, yep. Comment baiting. Yes.

I've heard of this as a, as yep. I've heard of that. We've never done this, but we should put out a bad episode and we should see if we get a lot of comments. Oh, that's smart. That's a bunch of false stats. We've only ever done like these really like funny, thought provoking episodes. Yeah, right, right, right.

Hot takes. Yeah. Cool comedy. Hot takes and cool comedy on Sloppy Boys show. Well, you just made me think of something, Tim, the cooking the steak and people getting mad. I forget. Well, you got yours medium well and you were happy with it i loved it loved it nice i'm i'm okay with that

i really don't uh i order my medium rare but i understand people don't like rare meat and i'm and i understand that so if you're if it was if it's grayer and it's more well done because you really didn't want to get any pulpy cold raw meat i understand the choice well also i do like that rawish meat taste but i also just like the charred taste you know what i mean there's this there's a smokiness and well here's what you do michael at a at a of an establishment like smith and walensky's they know when you order you can can, you can say chart like, um, I'll, I'll at a steakhouse sometimes say medium rare chart and it'll be burnt on the outside and still medium rare on the inside. And interesting. There's a word for that though.

Right. Isn't it, isn't it like Pittsburgh style or like Philly style? That one's like, yeah, that's like very low. That's like raw, raw, raw. But yeah, Chard is the one for like, I don't know how they flare up the grill either with some like water or oil or something, but they just cook it on a hot spot on the grill and they burn the outside and it's

great. Ooh, hot spot. Now, do you, Tamira, you're a cook's son. You're a son of a cook. What is liquid smoke? I can handle that one. That's, instead of making jerky in a smoker, my grandfather, you've had his jerky. It's fantastic. You might've even had the transition. You had the old school one.

Yeah. And then at one point he transitioned to like, I don't even have to smoke it for as long. I just jerky it's fantastic you might have even had the transition you had the old school one yeah and then um at one point he transitioned to like i don't even have to smoke it for as long i just use this stuff called liquid smoke yeah and i didn't have the heart to tell him it's not as good it's a very specific once once you've tasted liquid smoke you you kind of know that taste then you can you'll be able to spot it from afar and be like, that's not really a smoke. Yeah. Is it, is it that why the, the jerky Jeff that your, uh,

grandfather sent us was so good, but it also had kind of like a little wetness to it. A little moisture. Yeah. It was moist. That's probably what it is. All right. The old stuff dry as a bone.

It looks like a bottle of hot or soy sauce and it just tastes like smoke. But I remember it's a very seventies looking thing. Yes. And in a pinch at my dad's restaurant, I remember we had like some pizza that had smoked mozzarella on it and we would smoke the mozzarella in the smoker. And then when we ran out of that, I remember in a pinch chopping up some mozzarella and put a little liquid

smoke on there. No one is none the wiser. Yeah. Give it a little. You could probably put that on some salmon too, huh? Anything that requires a little smoke. Yeah. I've got a giant mound of lox in my fridge right now. I brought it home from work. Somebody sent us

a big smoked salmon bagel spread at work and then I said, if no one wants it, I'll take it home. But I got like 10 pounds of lox. I love this stuff, but I've been eating it so much. I'm like, I think I'm dying because it's so salty. I think I'm dying.

I ate it like 10 days in a row. And I do feel like it aged me a decade. Sure. Well, it's got a small window too. You can't be eating locks after day 10 i don't know though because smoked like cured like salted smoke things are that's that's what damn that's what uh you know the whole reason for smoked salmon is like people up in alaska would be it was all the only food they had for a whole year but isn't it like still floppy and

moist yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's what seems bad to me like it'll leave a stain it's not like a slim jim where it's like there's like that's like barely even alive anymore i don't think it ever was alive i don't know i put it i put in my back pocket and i and i leave it there all week and it's totally fine i would love to see how slim jims get made oh i don't know if you do i mean you might be your last slim jim i think i'm doing a quick look up on youtube if there's a how do they make slim jim which of our music videos did we end with seven to a slim jim eat me it's definitely a haskell joint mask master bong ripper or let's party, it has to be that. It's not Let's Party.

Eat me. Ooh, could have been Give It Up. Give it up, baby. How Slim Jims are made. Okay, there are videos, but not long ones. They don't want you to know. It's kind of amazing that that's the one brand. You go into any gas station,

and you'll see a bunch of meat sticks that are off-brand, and then you'll see Slim Jim, and you'll buy the Slim Jim. They're the only one that went national. Yeah. Yeah. Jack Link's is getting up there. Oh, sure. It is getting up there.

They have the whole Sasquatch thing. Yeah. Hey, do you remember? I used to go to, back in the 90 90s i would go to the country store which was just like a convenience store but a little country little country you could also get some candles there yeah and like they had the beef jerky that has no branding it's just in a bin with tongs yeah and you dip into that bin with the tongs and you pull out just like a little sheet of beef jerky they're like whatever 99 cents that it felt very authentic because it was like no brand no package and now i'm like i don't know if you should be just dipping into the meat bucket at

the country store yeah it's like wow this is authentic it's probably homemade or it's just like they took it out of the packages and dumped it in. Who the fuck knows? I remember seeing stuff like that and it being next to dog rawhide toys and stuff. Like pig's ears. Yeah, it's near the dog food. Stuff humans can eat and stuff the dogs can eat. That's the end.

That's the end, man. Well, did we get into a little booze news? Yes. I would love to. Bip, bip, bip. Hit it. man well did we get into a little booze news yes i would love to bit bit bit hit it just blaze boy boy boy boy Boy. Boy. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco.

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Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco..-T.A.-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T.A-T it's booze news you boys boy fm was sent to us by jordan stalling and if you have a booze news theme email it to the

sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com nice that was good yeah is he new jordan stalling i think jordan stalling is new and really putting up some numbers fast wow bye bye bye for those of you that don't know that was for a story i told about my weird neighbor calling me bye and it's a scary story subscribe to our Patreon. Listen to the reanimator episode. I'll tell you the whole story. He'll tell you all about it over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, over there. Meet me there. Now, Tim, I was just about to admonish you for saying, hey, you know, filling the listener in, but you turned it into a Patreon ad. I love it. And we love that here at sloppy boys llc you know what would be cool is if we didn't explain stuff have you seen this big podcast

we'll have youtube videos where fans have made like lore explainers like if you're trying to get into a podcast fans will make a super cut to show you like oh this is how this thing came up on that podcast so oh maybe we shouldn't explain things. And then the slop heads will say, Hey, welcome to the, the slop, uh,

tube. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

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uh, yeah, yeah, we should make it as, as difficult as possible to get into this show. Yeah. Booze news. Michael, you've got booze news. Take it away. I do. Well, we've talked on this pod before about martinis.

We've talked about regular martinis, dirty martinis, pickle martinis. And we had talked about a peppercini martini. Yes. Yes. Yes. And Tim knew where to find one. And I went and got it. Oh, Michael.

I texted Tim the other day and I said, Tim, you got to help me out here. I said, what is the name of the restaurant and drink that we've talked about? I have no information whatsoever. I've never been there, but I've read about this place, Bad Roman, that is sort of an over-the-top Italian restaurant. High concept, like a Bacchanalian Italian restaurant. Wow, like Caligula. Yeah, I went. It was, and I got one of these

peppercini, martini peppercini. It's in, like, right next to, there's this, like, mall near Columbus Circle, and it's in the mall on the third floor. I went up. It's beautiful in there. The whole setup is nice. The bar is really cool. There was this cool like design above the bar.

Bartenders were nice. I made a little audio. Let's hear it. Oh, before you start, Jeff, it starts in, I fucked up the recording, so it starts like, as I'm saying, like I'm at Bar Roman. All right, cool. The Bad Roman Bar in the Columbus Circle. I'm trying the Martini Peppercini.

Here we go. It looks delicious. It's kind of a neon green. It's got a peppercini. Here I go. It looks delicious. It's kind of a neon green. It's got a pepperoncini. Here I go. Ooh, baby. Ooh, that's good. That's real good. It's a real smooth time here at the Bad Roman. Ooh, it's got a little kick. That's good. And I just, I was talking to a bartender who was fantastic about, he liked my Grateful Dead hat. I'll tell you more about that when I get in studio. But he was saying to try it

next time, just try it with gin. Because I wanted to try it with what it said in the version that it said in the menu. But he said next time, if you like gin, just go with the gin one. Ooh, fantastic. Hanford out. See you soon. It was Mike Eats' way through New York City. it was mike eats his way through new york city

always a tail slate on that segment yeah that segment always has a tail slate uh but yes uh bad roman if you're around go there and talk to the bartender ricky he was good he was a cool dude he was making me laugh he was uh asking he was making fun of some bartender for being from ohio or something that was funny uh this was a great drink this had a nice little kick to it it wasn't like you're just drinking pepperoncini juice, but it was really good. I ate the pepperoncini off the stick. Oh. Oh.

It was good. But yes, next time I will go in and get it with gin because I'm not a vermouth. I'm sorry. I'm not a vodka. Vodka. Martini guy. Hmm. That's exciting.

You know, we've heard a lot about these different martini. Someone was just telling me about a martini that ceviche juice dripped into it. But pepperoncini sounds to me like the best. It's the right type of sour. Yeah. Briny, salty. You were walking around Columbus Circle? Yeah, I was taking a look at some of the runners on the marathon route. Oh, cool. I say, because I put, you know me, I'm putting together a running team and I was just looking at some of the best runners.

Just try to scout the best. Yeah, drinking martinis, watching other runners. You got a cigar and a fedora and you're like, hey, kid, come over here. Join my marathon team. We've got a program. What areora and you're like, hey, kid, come over here. Join my marathon team. We got a program. Where are these people? Who's that? He's not listed in the program.

Well, sir, I don't know. He just jumped in without a penny on. He's the fastest one in the course. This little stretch anyway. This little stretch anyway. I'm watching. You go chasing after him, splashing your martini around in your head. Hey, kid, wait up.

I got a proposition for you. I'm yelling from out the window. Hey, you speedster, slow down. Hey, wait, I got to take it back to the drink. Yeah. Is there a secret to it? Or could a couple of guys like us make it at home? I think a couple of guys like us could make it.

We just have to find the proper dimensions. Proportions? Yeah. Well, dimensions too, I guess. No, the dimensions. Proportions are just liquid dimensions, I think. Yeah, length, width, and depth. Wait, but there's vermouth in there or not?

I think there will be. Yeah, I think there would be vermouth in there. A dash. Because I just said, just make it. Just make it. You know, I didn't want to put any... Tweaks. Any tweaks on it before I even had it.

That could be good. Ooh, and I was at a bar before that with another martini. Well, I may have said too much. No, you haven't. I have created a drink. I'm in my head. It's in my head test kitchen right now. From the dome like Jay-Z.

That's exciting that it's a martini. I told this guy it was a nice place. It was in a hotel. I forget the name of the hotel, but it was right near the south end of Central Park. On the southeast or west side? Wherever the Plaza Hotel is, it was around that clump of hotels. I mean, are we talking like the Carlisle? Emmelman's?

No, it wasn't Bellman's. This was like on the exact south road of the... Hello, Jeff. Well, then cut it out, Jeff. I don't care. Nobody knows New York. Nobody goes there anymore. Nobody has ever heard of Midtown Manhattan.

Who is this for? I'm walking around in New York. I said, where the hell is everybody? Anyway, I told the guy, I said, I got this particular taste in my mind, and he helped me get to it. And he kind of looked at me like, this might not work, bud. Well, guess what? It does. Oh, a taste sleuth.

You ran into a taste sleuth? It does. It does, buddy. It did and it does. Well, that's all I got for Booze News. But be looking out for a little Hanford original coming soon. Nice.

I can't wait. That's awesome. That rocks. Well, you know you got to follow up the Black Lagoon and the Fall Highball. Yeah. Today's drink kind of reminds me of the Fall Highball. Yeah. Today's drink kind of reminds me of the Fall Highball. Yeah, kind of. Yes, I

do. I need to follow that up, Jeff. Well, is that it for Booze News for the week? Wrap it up. Peach. Peach. Now, what is Peach doing there? What game is that? Mario Kart. Picture her throwing a banana peel.

Okay. That's like too crisp of a recording, though. It feels like maybe somebody doing an impression of it. Is it you, Jeff? No, no. It's real. Wait, is it the Quizzler or the Trickster? The Quizzler.

The Quizzler is from something. See, I will say this. I do think I'm getting a cold. That's why I can't fucking. Oh, Michael. I know. Take care of yourself, Mike. Well, I was out there watching those runners.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. It's freezing cold. I'm out there cheering for runners, taking my shirt off, swinging around. Go, everybody. Go, everybody. Everybody off, swinging around. Go, everybody! Go, everybody! Everybody. Everybody, go!

Well, I'd love to hear about the drink of the day. Hmm. Well, the drink of the day is quite exciting indeed. Angry balls you've had? No. Uh, whoa. Are we talking about cocktails still? Mike! Come on, Angry balls you've had? No.

Are we talking about cocktails still? Mike. Come on, buddy. Oh, you're thinking of grumpy nards, aren't you? Nards. You've heard. Have you heard? Never heard or had.

No, this is made up by a corporation, Tim. Ooh. Guys, I swear to God that I think that I had this drink once on the show as like part of booze news or something. Like when we were maybe doing Fireball eggnog or some shit like that, I feel like, or maybe in a round two, I swear I've had it had it before because we were trying to figure out like what can you do with fireball this must have been one of the things that came up tim i've got three questions where when and how many let me tell you why we're doing it uh on this show right now which is that um a couple of weeks ago on the Sloppy Boys podcast, I, Tim Kalbagas, wonderful guy, debuted my creation, The Fall Highball, which was whiskey and apple soda. And if you guys remember, I was so excited. And I was just so sincerely eager to share my creation with the world.

I was pure of heart. And on the day that the episode was announced, you know, I awoke like Scrooge on Christmas day and check the internet to see, Hey, we just announced this episode. It's my recipe. What are people, are people going to say they love me finally? Maybe I'll feel like I belong somewhere, you know? Yeah, that's nice. That's a nice feeling.

But I look through the comments from the slobheads on X and on Instagram and on Discord. And do I see words of encouragement or do I see this? Thousands and tens of thousands of comments saying, yo, you got to do with cider. Yo, yo, you got to do though.

Though you got to do with fireball. Yo, yo, try with fireball and hard, hard cider. Yo, yo, if you,

if you, if you have an angry orchard and a fireball, it's an angry ball. This is what I met with. No, it's an angry ball. Yeah. No great job, Tim. No, that's inspiring, with. No, it's an angry ball. Yeah. No great job,

Tim. No, that's inspiring, Tim. No, Tim, thank you for sharing your, your,

you expressing yourself. You put yourself out there, Tim. Thanks for working so hard. And what I was met with just a cold, swift kick in the ass. Here's the world, Tim.

It was stay home and stay in bed because out here, all you get is a swift kick in this i was crushed and i was saddened and even though the fall highball is a hit drink and i had the last laugh i am also an open-minded soul and cure i'm curious about the world around me so i listened and here we are i i looked into this i always the student tim kelpacus thank you you as you age you need to keep that natural one sense of wonder um and i've had this once and uh but so i went looking it's very it turns out it's a very popular drink you know like it's listed on both the angry Orchard website and the Fireball website.

Ah, interesting. I couldn't find any sort of history of this or anyone credited with inventing it, but it seems to be a college town classic of the last decade, perhaps coming from the Northeast, maybe New York. It's sort of a college town. Mash them up. These are two drinks, corporate kind of drinks that got really pushed in the 20-teens. Love it. We don't know whether it's coming from the corporations or from the college kids that started doing this mishmash, but I can say that it has a lot of

as opposed to other drinks you might see like on the website of a beverage company this one has a lot of fans and a lot of slop heads really do love this and i took a simple recipe from uh angry orchard.com and what it's pretty straightforward one shot of fireball whiskey one pint angry orchard crisp apple combined shot and pint and enjoy and that's pretty much it and then oh that's from the angry orchard website on the on the fireball website they call it an apple spiced spritz stupid name one pint angry orchard apple crisp apple one shot fireball so yeah they're both saying a shot and a pint that's funny they name check the other brand but they didn't get on the same page about like what to call this thing i know now nobody seems to be doing it as a as a

bomb and nobody seems to be doing it as a popo no no no it's an autumn sipper it seems like you're just kind of combining these nicely in a pint glass well it's not a popo no no they're both uh alcohols which one would you put in the other one the popo no's doubly so but i've got for me i've got nips of fireball whiskey and now remember if you're using the bodega fireball cinnamon it'll be you'll have slightly less alcohol but i've got fireball cinnamon whiskey and i've got crisp apple and i'm just gonna pour my can into a pint glass and then dump my nip on top when we were in hawaii i bought a 10 pack of fireball nips and after this this episode, I'll have seven left.

Whoa, you don't. Jeff, whoa. We are slowly working through these things. You got, that's a, well, it's almost time, Jeff, for the holiday season where you start handing those things out.

To kids. The Hanford handshake. The Hanford holiday handshake. That's good. That's good. Give yourself a little, or you show up at a party with them in your coat pockets and everyone comes around here, here, enjoy your season. Take it, drink it now. Drink it now, drink it at work. I went to a liquor store and they didn't have the nips and they had a big high ball or a big fireball. I

think I got the regular one, not just the gas station one. So the gas station one is like real weak, right? And the real one is 66 proof. Yeah. And the gas station one is maybe half that. Nice. We haven't done a taste test on those gas station versus real. I think we did. I have.

You can tell the difference of it. The whiskey has a little taste stronger, has more burn to it. And the gas station one is more mellow. I think either one would work in this drink. We're not going to be picky, but I like the idea of the, of the, of the full strength whiskey one,

because of course, you know, we talk about on the pod, we don't drink a lot of beer because it's too much liquid. So when you're making a thing like this, it's nice that it's going to be two drinks worth of alcohol as opposed to making... This is probably going to be kind of sweet. Two drink minimum. Yes. But to make

something that's really sweet and cinnamony and kind of stupid and it's not boozy would be a bummer. So, the boozier the better I say. Sure. The boozier the better when the ba-ba-da-ba. I wish I had an ending to that. You'll think of it during the break. Well, the boozier the better when the ba-ba-da-ba. I wish I had an ending to that. You'll think of it during the break.

Well, the boosier, the better when your ba-ba-da-bow. The better, the ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-da-bow. Shit, I don't have it. Well, should we do a live pour on the air when we come back? Oh, that's a great idea. Sure. After these messages?

I'm going to make mine a little smaller, actually. Smaller? I'm not feeling so great. I'm going to do a big boy. You have my half. All right, cool, yeah. Across the coast, taffers, man. Stop.

All right, folks, you perk up and listen to these ads, and we'll meet you right back here after this. is. And we're back with Angry Balls. Terrible name. Here we go. Do a little live pour. Oh yeah, I got the 66 proof. Guys, I had my fireball in the freezer, so it's going to be nice and cold, as well as my pine glass. Oh, cold meets hot? Yes, cold meets hot on the Sloppy Boys podcast. Anyway, I don't like the name. Angry Balls makes it sound like it's like a men's rights activist drink or something, like a Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson drink. I like that.

I like that i like that type of stuff they're the same color that's nice yeah are you dumping your whole nip i'm gonna put my whole nip oh yeah swirl that right around don't i yes on the back of my angry orchard bottle, it says two apples in every bottle. Ooh. Does it? Cool. That's what this says. My can doesn't say shit.

We're going to be stronger than what's recommended because you're supposed to have a pint and a shot. We're doing a 12 ounce and a nip. So we're going to be a little more cinnamony, but I'm fine with that. Good. Now, is it going to taste like Big Red? Yeah. Ready? Cheers. Cheers.

Boosh. Ooh. Huh. Mm-hmm. I like that very much. Okay, I get the appeal. It's a little flavorous. Our version here.

We'll make a little two. Yeah, it's that, like, I like it, and I would chug these. I think that maybe an Angry Orchard on its own tastes better, but hey, you're kicking it up a notch. You're having fun. I just took a little sip of an Angry Orchard because I didn't pour it all in. I don't really like Angry Orchard that much. I don't like ciders very much, but I do like it with a little cinnamon taste.

Yeah. I'm kind of the same. I'm not a cider guy. I probably have two ciders a year, and I only have one of them, like, you know, one at a time. Our friend Mitch is a huge cider drinker. He always has cider over beer. I struggle with this. i like a good one

like a fancy one a really dry dry oh like almas remember almas oh yes almost the cider bar that was really fun because they were turning us on to all these weird flavors we never had like the wide world of ciders in the you know in the uk they're like uh soccer hooligans are chugging these really crisp dry ciders and i feel like mostly in america you have like sweeter kind of ciders but i don't mind this crisp apple angry orchard i'm not gonna get all revved up and scream and cry tears of joy about it but uh it's it's not too sweet it's early tim, Tim. You don't know. You could. Cider is too much like champagne for me. It's got too much of a crispness that I don't want.

You don't like crispness? You don't like crispness, Mike? I like crispness. Merry crispness. That's what I don't like about the champagne. It's that kind of sting, that back of your throat sting. Don't like it. They're similar, ciders and champagnes.

I get your problem. That sugary sparkle. For Meghan Markle. The Angry Balls, it's like you drink it and you get this cinnamon aftertaste, but it's not like cinnamon. It's like fireball. It's like big red in your cider it's cinnamon syrup flavor this is going to be tough to uh to like try to try to drink two of these in a row would be

a little tart and sweet i already wish i didn't do my whole fireball yeah nip yeah i i poured just a uh shot. I think, so the website's right. A pint and a shot is probably the way to go. A pint and a shot. This is pretty good for a holiday thing, though. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah. You gotta give me that. You know what I tried over

the weekend? I tried a apple cider margarita over the weekend. What the fuck? Fuck you. It was was weird what was replacing what it was trader joe trader joe's spiced apple cider lime juice kind of just around the rim with like a cinnamon sugar rim all frosted up with tequila in there oh cinnamon sugar rim that's hey we forgot to make the Oppenheimer martini. Oh, we could still do that around Oscar season, Tim.

Yeah, Barbenheimer is going to sweep. Ooh, provided it gets nominated. Provided it gets nominated. Ooh, is there a flower moon drink? Yeah, put a flower in a cup. Up your fucking ace. Put a fucking rose in a cup and eat it. That's what Scorsese's been saying

when he's interviewed about the movie. He's trying to keep the audiences guessing. I don't think I talked about it on the show. I tell you guys my critique of Oppenheimer. I thought it was a great movie, but I thought that Cillian Murphy was too fat. Oh, Tim.

I think he's too fat. I hate the body shame, but I think he was too fat. You're sizist, Tim. Yeah. I didn't realize there was a movie that was like he had to do a lot of body changing. Yeah. He had to only eat a little bit you know, body changing. Yeah.

He had to like only eat a little bit of food. He ate like five almonds a day. One bean. A bean? One legume a day. Oh my gosh. He would slice into a bean like in Mickey and the Beanstalk. Like in Tiny Tim, Mickey's Christmas Carol. Yeah.

A translucent slice of bean. Oh, boy, guys. I'm going to sneeze. I'm going to have a nice fall sneeze. Here it comes. We'll bleep it. We'll bleep it. The first one in the season.

Blink up at a light. Blink up at a light. There you go. We should bleep that. That's funny. You gotta subscribe to hear the sneezes. Boy, I got another one coming.

Oh, it's the second sneeze of the season. It's sneezing season here on the pod. Sneezing's greetings. Man, the run- up this guy has to fucking sneeze oh it's right on the tip of my schnoz he's enjoying it too much look at him he's

beaming it's still there but it's not ready to launch failure to launch is it wait is it the is it the mickey also the mickey christmas carol where like the uh ghost of present day sneezes like that too? Or maybe that's when he's, he's the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.

We all know that. Yeah, we know that. So maybe in a different cartoon he sneezes, but it is like a. Oh yeah, because he's an oaf. He's a bit of an oaf, yes. What a fun thing. Let's say you get hired. let's say you're the guy whose job it is you work at an agency and studios hire you when they're doing a

christmas carol and they have all their ip characters and they need someone to do the casting say it's the muppets or disney they bring you in you're kind of like a fixer you know you come in sleek suit you sit down and you say um uh but uh marley is going to be played by um well stettler and waldorf this is an agent that makes this call wait who's doing that the agent's like this i think it would be the production it's a it's like a third party it's a third party agency that kind of sends in a guy who he's not a casting director for other things he only goes hey um listen uh yeah um uh uh jiminy cricket yeah it's gonna be uh the ghost one of the ghosts

no scrooge i mean hey the king of them all scrooge mcduck he's not the ghost well wait he's a narrator isn't he i feel like we talked about this before. Is Mickey's Christmas Carol, is that the debut of Scrooge and then Scrooge's in DuckTales after that? Oh, no, I think Scrooge McDuck pre-existed. Well, how perfect. There's already a Scrooge McDuck and then they're doing the Christmas Carol.

How easy is it for that guy from the agency? A Christmas miracle, Tim. What a miracle for Disney. Sorry. He may have been named after that very character years ago. Still. Oh, get this. Hold on.

I want to get back to this. Well, hold on. Okay. Scrooge McDuck, 1947 in a comic book. Wow. Okay. What about Launchge McDuck, 1947 in a comic book. Wow. Okay. What about Launchpad McQuack?

He's a 90s kid. Yeah. Wait, when did the Christmas Carol come out? Mickey Christmas Carol. I don't know, 89? Yeah. Something like that. I was just remembering, Jeff, you had a funny comment on an Instagram where I told you guys this story that when I was a kid,

maybe like eight years old, when DuckTales was on, I would yell to my, to my whole family as if my mom and dad wanted to watch. I go, DuckTales is on. And then we'll be shocked when no one would come running and I'd watch by myself.

Hey, more for me. Recently on our Instagram, I found a picture of me as a young boy hockey player and i post on instagram and then jeff you you commented wow ducktales is on it's probably right about then i would say what was your you had another story like that tim where it was like it was like michelle's on yeah for full house full house yeah there's a there's a home video of my sister my sister's five years younger than me and she is a

baby taking her first steps we have a video of her first steps and in the other you can hear from the other room you can hear the sound of uh full house the full house theme song and then you can hear you can you can hear me yelling michelle's on during first steps i called full house michelle oh sure also what it's weird for a kid to think a kid is cute. You know, like I would watch that show and be like, Michelle's so funny. Well, that's your that's your surrogate. When you watch something and you know you're supposed to identify with that character because you're similar to them. She's a proxy.

The proxy. Like when I watch Beauty and the Beast, I don't know who to relate to until Gaston comes on the screen. Yeah, there's my guy. I like that. I like the singing candle. It's because you're lanky, Mike. And you can sing. Now watch yourself,

buddy. You go to a gym for three months and you call me lanky? You're spindly and rubbery. I know, I know, I know. I know who I am. I played Lumiere in high school. I held two flash know, I know. I know who I am. I played Lumiere in high school. I held two flashlights in my hand and sang Be Our Guest. Oh, wow.

That's good. Wait, what were we just talking about before Lumiere? Michelle. Oh. Related to the audience proxy. The first time I watched The Sopranos, I really related to Christopher. I was younger. I mean, I was probably more AJ's age

and in denial but I felt like Christopher was my way into the show and then when I re-watched it during the pandemic I was the same age as Tony isn't that crazy so and and I and I I me and Tony are very different but I was looking at it at least from his age group but I would say if I had to choose a character that is me in the sopranos it's probably arty bucco because he he's a cook he's he loves food he wants to be tough but he's a pussy and he cries his little eyes out yeah sure and me furio yeah no questions asked furio me i don't associate with that type of person, so I would be one of the cops. One of the cops.

One of the cops. No, I would be Buscemi's character. You'd be Med. Medo, yeah. Med school Medo. Damn, I'm getting drunk. I was too thirsty and I gulped this too fast. Now I'm drunk on my own pod.

Let's see it. Prove it. How far are you down? Have you eaten much today? Have I eaten much? I'll tell you what. I had a Mediterranean salad from Mendocino Farms. Now how do you feel? Tim, you got to work through that lox. Don't be eating other stuff. Bring lox

to work. Yeah, that's true. Bring lox to work today. Bring your lox to work day. That'd be fun. How about bring your boss to work day? Your be fun how about bring your boss to bring your boss to work day how about that your boss should be at work hey stay you two way vacation days bring your boss to work day like he'd be there anyway but you got to bring him this time you gotta pick him up you gotta pick his drive his ass and every friday is a bring your boss to work day so somebody

get a chore wheel going and somebody get me on Fridays. Friday. As opposed to a cocktail on the rocks that gets nice and melty as you go and gets better. Yeah. I would say as I get to the bottom of this pint, the temperature has warmed a little and the drink has gotten worse by the bottom of the pint. I'm right there with you, T. Interesting. Maybe throw some rocks in here, folks.

Maybe throw some rocks in here. Could be good. Rocks in a beer or cider, basically? Hey, think of it this way. Beer rocks. Hmm. Okay. So I think we're getting towards what we would do differently.

I'm doing less fireball. As we're approaching the holiday season, I'm wondering, I like this. I like this drink. I'm wondering what we can do to make it more holiday-ish. Put a fucking candy cane up your ass when you drink it. My LK. I don't know.

I mean, it's apple and it's cinnamon. Maybe get some of that Cardi B whip and go. Oh, I do have some. Hey, wait a second. We saw one recipe of this did have whipped cream on top. So maybe I'll put some whip shot Cardi B whip and go. Oh, I do have some. Hey, wait a second. We saw one recipe of this did have whipped cream on top. So maybe I'll put some whip shot Cardi B. Yeah. Give it a little, give a little.

Wait a minute. I, while you're talking about that, I got to look up a Cardi B thing. Cause I think keep, keep talking. Okay. While you look that up, I'll, I'll tell Jeff something different, which is, I just had a memory Jeff of, uh, because this is Apple Cinnamon. Do you remember when we were kids, Cheerios came out with new Apple Cinnamon Cheerios? Hmm.

Do you remember that? Yeah, I guess I do. Well, it's Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. They're still around to this day. But what was weird was that the commercial in the song was like new Apple Cinnamon cheer eos and the new was like baked in they're like new apple cinnamon so i remember asking my dad i was like can we get new apples can we get new apple cinnamon cheerios and he's like what and instead of saying apple cinnamon cheerios and it's a new product i was like yeah i want like new apple cinnamon cheerios he's's like, my God, my son has been programmed by the TV.

Now I've had a lot of these interactions with my dad. Cause I told you one time I saw a commercial for cream of wheat and they were making it all cool for nineties kids. And I was like, dad, can we get cream of wheat? And he was like, you want cream of wheat?

He wants cream of wheat? He wants cream of wheat? But then the best morning food anecdote I have with my father is that to trick me into getting excited about oatmeal, he called it Chewbacca cereal. Yeah, that's good. Chewbacca cereal. And it worked and it worked. And I would be like, can I have Chewbacca cereal And it worked And it worked And I would be like Can I have Chewbacca cereal But it worked to this day

You swear he actually eats it This is what Wookiees eat for breakfast Yeah I want that Tim I just got a box of Quaker oat maple brown sugar cinnamon crap And it's so good I love it during the cold months That's good Chewbacca cereal man

I was always I was very gullible i remember being at a store my dad like it's back to school time and i'm picking out sneakers and my dad my dad presented me with two options of like you know uh like a6 sneakers and he's like yeah tim which do you want like these ones are like feather light for jumping and then these ones are like lightning fast for, which do you want? Like these ones are like feather light for jumping. And then these ones are like lightning fast for running. Which do you? And I was like, hmm. Damn, your dad plays you like a fiddle. I was like, yeah, this is good.

Dad, I do both running and jumping, but I think that the running comes up more often. So let's go with the running. It's probably like a $12 pair of shitty Velcro shoes. I'm like, okay. this has been a good consultation. The best. He's, he's talking to his like chubby little son who doesn't run.

You're really like, so these will make me jump higher. You say, um, okay. I couldn't find the video I was talking about, but I saw Cardi b on something recently with that that cardi b whip shots whip shots and she was shaking it up like crazy

like you shouldn't have to i know you shouldn't have to she might just it might be one of those things we're like oh uh we went to the wrong producers of this aerosol stuff and she was like really going for it and finally got some out but uh she finally got some out she wasn't she wasn't like what the fuck's with this thing she was like yep we're just shaking it up here you gotta shake it up and now we here we go well just like tim she was smacking it the design flaw and the bad physics that i demonstrated on booze news they they put that into the commercial like hey you have to shake a little too much because we did a bad job making this.

Yeah, and smack it and turn it totally upside down and then put it right in your mouth. You can't cut corners. Smack it, twirl it, twist it. It's like if we had commercials for this podcast and we were like, you're not supposed to laugh. It's not supposed to be funny. You're supposed to be upset when you're done.

You're supposed to be sweaty every time you're doing this podcast. You should be bored. When you listen to a pod, you should be bored. You're supposed to waste your time. Why aren't you bored? No one's bored anymore. Yeah. No one's bored these days.

Nobody gets bored. You're supposed to be in your car, driving bored, doing dishes bored. Bored, you're boring. Are we doing a round two? No need on my end. I'm going to have a round two because I'm in the mood to get drunk and then be slurring on the Patreon. Yeah, I'm in the mood too. mood to get drunk and then be slurring on the Patreon. Yeah, I'm in the mood too.

But I'm going to put a little bit less fire ball and try to have a perfect marriage of apple and cinnamon. Oh, so Tim, you're seeking balance. The Buddha would be proud. But then I'm going to throw off the balance with Cardi B Whip Shot Whipped Cream on top.

Oh, nice. Nice. Alright, folks. We're going to make a little round two and when we come back final thoughts Power bag with round two. Here comes the live pour. Oh, yes. Not the whole nip, though. I actually did a little too much. Uh-oh. That's fine.

Tim, your tweaks. How did the whip shots go? It was a mess. Faulty product. Look how gross this is. It just sort of, it didn't. It looks fucking disgusting. Get that that put that

down jesus don't show that shit to me i shook it so much and it just it just truly nasty just dripped cream on my fucking drink it's gross it looks like a pond scum or a scuzz on the top yeah it's got scuzz on top but while i was peeking into my fridge i reminded me i did something interesting you guys might be interested in you know i was talking at the top of show about how i have a bunch of locks oh this bagel spread i got it also had like tomatoes capers onions and a lot of cucumbers, like the good, the little summer cucumbers, like sliced up, thin, thin cucumber slices for bagels. I had like two pounds of them. I didn't know what to do with them. And Dan, I had a

pickle jar where I'd finished all the pickles, but I left the juice in there. So I took all the cucumbers and I plopped them in the pickle juice and I haven't tasted them yet. They've been in there so i took all the cucumbers and i plopped them in the pickle juice and i haven't tasted them yet they've been in there for two days and i think i'm making pickles quick pickle that's a good idea like it'll be like half sour yeah because you you lose i mean you finish up a vlasic there's a lot of water in there still pickle juice and that's good pickle water and i always save the jar like in case i do pickle back shots or do something. But then I might have these empty jars in there.

Me too. And I'll tell you what, Tim, because it's sliced so very thin, I bet you it's soaking up all that juice real quick. Yeah. It's probably ready. I wouldn't even mind a taste test. Very thin. These were very, I wouldn't say paper paper thin but i would say two ply paper now should we do a live taste or should we save it for the patreon well the lamest possible i say we do it here i think you guys talk while i go get them i'll be right back

i think so i think so too okay good. Mike, you ever pickled anything? Yeah. I think I did some pickles on this pod. As a matter of fact that you made. Yeah. But they were like, I didn't like them. They tasted pickly, but it's like the type of pickles I didn't like.

My, my grandparents used to have a family friend who I think was like my grandfather's war buddy. His name was David disco. D Y S Z K O.o not disco like fun disco dancing this guy david disco was a family friend of my grandparents and he used to make pickles for the family and that was like his gift yeah and if you were good you got a jar of pickles and if you did and if you didn't thank him he he would yell at you. Really?

Yes. He'd be like, Alyssa doesn't get one this year because she didn't thank me last year. That sort of thing. That's fun. Okay, look at my jar here. I have a giant jar of Dietz and Watson hot and zesty pickle chips. And now I'm going to crack the top. These have been there for two days. I'm going to take the top These have been there for two days I'm going to take one

Pickle Look how thin these are It's a very thin little That's very thin A little wafer I love these little small summer cukes And now we're going to the dome Oh

Oh Timmy He's putting two or three in now he can't stop someone get over there i'll tell you this this these are better than the original deets and watson pickles they're like half sours hey you know when you go to cats's deli and you get sours and half sours yeah yeah i bet you they still got a nice cucumber structure to them. Yeah. It's got a good crunch. Listen to this. They snap.

Very good. Very good. It's the crunch. You love to munch. Right here on the Angry Balls episode of the Sloppy Boys. Now, if I could, before we get into final thoughts, Jeff, which I know you're revving up to do, and I can't wait to do it. Bad Roman, I want to say the martini, peppercini, gray goose, peppercini brine, and lemon zest. No vermouth.

Nice. We could do that. Well, your final thoughts? Order again. I'm not making a night of it, but I go out to a Christmas party for sure. I'm making some of this. We're like, hey, you go to a football game. You go to homecoming. You're out at the bar and with your old schoolyard chums.

Yep. I do this a lot. I go back to my hometown. I go to my high school and I kind of befriend some of the kids that currently go to the school and I get drunk with them. You do this all the time. Yeah? High school kids? How do they get that alcohol, Tim?

I buy a worm. Hey kid, this will put some hair on your chest. We talked about this on my podcast the other week. I don't listen to pods. I listen to Doja Cat on't listen to pods. I listen to Doja Cat on TikTok. Oh, God. I listen to Minecraft.

Oh, God. So do I. You listen to Minecraft. That's fun. Maybe. Our friend Alan McLeod said that his little boy's son, Sonny, mainly listens to Minecraft parodies, like pop songs. Yep. And he doesn't play Minecraft, Mike. parodies like pop songs.

Yep. And he doesn't play Minecraft, Mike. He doesn't, he just likes the songs. So it'll just be like, you know, the Katy Perry song,

but she's singing about her pickaxe or some sort of brick. Exactly right. How about what if Miley Cyrus is like, I came in like a wrecking cube. Sonny would love that shit. Yeah. Now, wait, Tim, did you get final thoughts or no? Don't try to top it with whip shots. It won't work.

Whip shots. The Angry Balls, weirdly enough, yeah, I like it. It is in order again. As a stupid thing to do with your college buddies, it seems pretty fun. I can't say that. I think Fireball alone is good and i really meant to prep that sample fuck yeah you fucked up dude you've you already prepped it once why do you not have it ready to go you want me to dick into the archives y'alls um i like it

it's stupid this is a stupid drink for idiots but i'm an idiot and I'm stupid and I say order again nice me too I'm a little smarter than that but I do still I will do that especially with my old chums yeah you have kind of a cunning wit yes but less

fireball do it as scripted full pint little dab of fireball oh I should as scripted. Full pint, little dab of fireball. Oh, I should have used my fucking apple crown royal. Hey, I've talked about this before. One of the first alcohols I got drunk on as a child, Aftershock. You all remember Aftershock? Yes.

It's another like red hot cinnamon fireball liqueur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably just a little bit stronger. I remember Hypnotic. Hypnotic and Aftershock were both. You know what this drink would be good for? You're outside. It's late November, early December.

You're outside around a fire. You're wearing a wool hat you're wearing the rugged jacket you got your boots up on the fire side yeah of course Carhartt they make a quality item and you're pouring one of these and you're sipping it

while watching the flames dance I like that the flames can sort of tell you a story Carhartt manages to be big with the hip dude, young dudes and the old functional guys who are really using it for what it's meant. Maybe one day I'll write and direct a short film about like a young Brooklyn kid and like,

and an old New Hampshire grandpa. And they both talk about their love of Carhartt. Yeah. We'll be the grandpa. I might have about their love of Carhartt. Yeah. We'll be the grandpa. I might have to age one of you down. Hey, me and Jeff could star in this movie. Well. I'm a young Brooklyn kid and Jeff's a... It's funny that it's young and old and then

also like, you know, a logger who is far right probably wears Carhartt and then also a creative director in San Francisco probably wears Carhartt. then also a creative director in San Francisco probably wears Carhartt. It's a quality brand. You know, that's funny, Jeff. I'm surprised. You know, remember when New Balance was like, people were like, oh, don't wear New Balance because they give money to the RNC or something like that. I think that's, I don't know what that thing was,

but I feel like this, I'm surprised know what that thing was. Yeah, you're right. I feel like this, I'm surprised Carhartt hasn't been politicized yet. You heard it here first. Carhartt is politicized. Well, we give half our money to the RNC, too. Well, maybe it's what you're talking about, Jeff. Maybe it's because, like, both, everyone wears them. So, like, you don't know.

Let's get some funding for an old grumpy right-wing dad and his young nyu filmmaker son are be like we gotta go shopping your mom said we gotta go shopping together we don't want to let's split up but then they both end up at the carhartt store and they realize they're not so different after all we we do other things together, but we do not shop together ever. And I do mean never. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys. We release these recipes ahead of time.

And if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash The Sloppy Boys. Plunk down the five and double your pleasure good episode dudes really good hosting both of us and could you sense that there were so many more ears this week so many fresh ears just getting introduced to the pod oh it's all the Swifties? Yeah, probably the Swifties. Thanks, Swifties. Thank you. Thank you, Swifties. We love the Swifties. Hey, you want to meet back here same time next week?

Yeah, that could honestly rock the house, yeah. Bye, folks. Bye. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys.