The Sloppy Boys - 165. Hanky Panky with Neil Campbell

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

The guys make a variation on the Martinez with Neil Campbell. The drink was created by Ada "Coley" Coleman for the Savoy Hotel in London and appears in Harry Craddock's The Savoy Cocktail Book.HANKY PANKY RECIPE1.5oz/45ml London Dry Gin1.5oz/45ml Sweet Red Vermouth.25oz/7.5ml Fernet BrancaPour all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well. Strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with orange zest.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/)Comedy Central's Digman! is now airing on Paramount+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hi. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? Oh, and joining us today, a very special guest, co-creator of Comedy Central's Digman and solo creator of Campbell's Clarifications. It's contest winner Neil Campbell. Yes. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Is it clarifications or corrections? I think that

you need to correct Jeff on that very, on the name. No, Neil, you told me it was clarifications. You know what's funny? I think I actually did recently go like, oh, there's something I want to send in, but it's just a clarification. It's not a correction. So I'll call it Campbell's clarification. But I do think the segment is corrections. That would be a different, that would be a spinoff series

and you should do it. Neil, you can always, always feel free to send anything you want in here. There are no classifications, distinctions of anything. Anything can be, basically we just need to fill up the time anything that helps us hit the hour is appreciated yeah you guys are talking

about something hand for a second by getting a ps5 and you guys are talking about my gamer or not and uh yes right we had a whole conversation about you and i was like no no neil's not a gamer i think we do we even say i kneel we know you're listening, so let us know. Yeah, yeah. So come on the pod and defend yourself. And I think that's the main reason I'm on today. So are you a gamer or what? I play, I would say I get like hooked on like one, two games every year and a half, roughly.

Okay. So one game every three quarters of a year. For like five months. And then I don't play a game for four months. And then I play a game for seven months or something. And when you're not playing the game, you're just not playing PS2 or probably, sorry,

PS5. Yeah. Definitely don't play a PS2. I know. Nor three or four. Yeah. All right. Wise guys.

Yeah. Usually I'm just not playing something or unless it's like occasionally playing fifa but even i don't even have the new fifa yet but that's what i'm saying hanford you should get ps5 i'll get the new it's not even called fifa anymore you get it we're finally connecting yes we can finally connect on something we both enjoy It's some common ground. What are they calling FIFA these days? Football? I think it's FC. FC 24. Oh, yeah. I was going to save this for

Boo's News, but it's in the mail right now. I got a PS5 with a Spider-Man 2 combo pack. Yes! Nice! Thwip, thwip! Congratulations! Thank you. By Thursday,. Thwip, thwip. Congratulations.

Thank you. By Thursday, I will be web slinging. I also have Red Dead Redemption 2 coming up. Wow. Even though that's a PS4 game,

I can still play it. Is there a Deadpool game? No Deadpool game. I was going to ask, is this the first time Campbell's Clarifications has scooped Booze News?

Oh, shit. No. We're direct competitors. No. he didn't scoop booze news because i was the one who actually leaked the news he just talked about we're officially in campbell's clarification yeah but it's still this is still campbell's clarifications technically neil owns this portion of the pie no well wait a minute there was barely a theme song play just campbell's corrections or clarifications have a theme song? Yeah.

It's got a memorable one, Mike. Yeah. Corrections does. Clarifications could just start at any time. You're right. I did just say, just do whatever you want.

Shit. Does, no, it does. Uh, Campbell's corrections have any, uh, uh,

animated voices at the end of it. Like so many of the others. I don't think so. I don't think I have that capability. Quagmire or anybody. Time for Dutton's delight that's that's what i remember campbell's corrections i think i made this theme song and it was you know like i had like a record scratch yeah i like that total record scratch moment because it always kind of it's more of a get back here with my show type of renegade yes yeah yeah yeah but duds as a dj that must be your nightmare a record scratch oh it is unless unless obviously deliberately because you're

mixing but sure sure sure well but it but a uh an accidental scratch sends shivers down my spine uh neil you missed it on the on the and the rest of you will hear it on the blowout. I mentioned my Spotify wrapped list. And all my top five songs were all off the Duts album from this year. Wow. And it touched my heart. My number one was Holiday House by Beach House. Holiday House. Yep. touched my heart so my number one was holiday house my beach house oh holiday yep and then uh

my fleet foxes was my number one artist but then number two was my number one last year joe hisaishi which is just the guy who does the scores for miyazaki films and you just put on a mix that's just good in the background and so i don't know that's put that on that's uh it has wound up being near the top of mine, but not like from, I mean, I guess it's from deliberate listening, but yeah, not,

it's just more cause you can put on a long mix and chill for a while. And he said the same guy for like multiple movies. I think like, if not all of them, I love me as I gave just never included, excuse me, clued into who was doing the tunes. Now fleet Foxes, they didn't even put out an album this year did they you just been going back no but i saw them live in the spring and so

i think around the season i was you know either in the getting pumped up for it or in the afterglow or a cool down i gotta listen to these songs so i know what the hell's going on jeff when you introduced neil you said that he's the co-creator of digman on comedy central and then he's the solo creator of campbell's corrections neil do you are you more proud of one than the other or is it like you can't choose among your darlings i mean it's nice to have one all to myself yeah yeah i imagine although i guess you know i do usually before i send in a correction i run it by andy sandberg and i kind of go hey what do you think it is you think they'll and he gives like

really good notes and he's like no they didn't say that you have to go back and listen neil that's not what they said oh we'll hop on a zoom and kind of really he's like no if i recall they got that correct yeah now now speaking of workplaces and things and bosses now do you feel strange that you're on you know usually during the day you're tim's boss screaming that type of thing sure and now you are his employee so more or less i know the tables yeah the guest on a podcast is the employee of the of those Well, we are paying. We will pay you. Who usually pays you is your employer. Oh, the tables have turned, Neil.

Tim, this must feel like when an old-timey sitcom guy would have the boss over for dinner. Yeah. I feel very nervous. And Neil does make, I do have to make Neil a roast every Saturday night. And just hope the dog doesn't take a crap, coiled crap in his shoe told me you have two kids

that i have to see hey mike jeff would you just wear your hats backwards tonight and wear these extra extra large t-shirts what the hell are you talking about damn why your son's kissing me so much they're amorous we're just playing playstation 5 all night yes do that do that um that's something a child would do i don't feel at all like weird having my boss here but i feel like for jeff and mike this is going to be a rough episode for you probably because me and neil when we get together we just come up with so many ideas for digman episodes that were i know it's gonna be a lot of inside baseball talk it's's going to derail conversation. We'll be like, oh, yeah, I could imagine Rip doing that.

Huh? Yeah. Wait, I could imagine it, too. But who would draw it? Yeah. Well, I think the Titmouse Productions. You guys don't have that ironed out yet? Yeah.

Do you guys have your drawers all set for the next season? We need two. Oh, nice drawers. I can draw a swooper. Hey, that's, that's good. Sometimes we forget to do that.

And I can draw a swooper. If you could each dibs one character that would take so much off our plate. That would be amazing. Hey, divide and conquer. That sounds great. We'll tell Mike Mayfield. If you need rip in one angle, I can do that.

Wow, that's better than me. So I'm impressed. There we go. Oh, yes. And I should say Digman is now streaming on Paramount Plus. Yes. P plus. If you didn't manage to watch it on Comedy Central week to week.

Now you got a chance. I did. I did. We tweak. Now, Neil, can I ask this? And yes, we can cut it if you need to. But are we talking about a second season sure i mean it probably won't be out until 2025 but we are

hard at work on a second season tim was just cracking me up all day hollywood knows about hollywood knows about it yeah i can't stop talking about it 2025 oh those animators are so slow uh hey maybe maybe we'll crack the whip and get them you ever you ever think about maybe throwing a little in ai into the mix and get those things done quicker oh scripts and acting alike hmm i hadn't thought about that what were you doing picketing all summer long i was listening to this pod walking around the Disney lot. Hoping to meet Mickey and all his mates. Do we get into some booze news? We have a show to do.

Yes. Yes. Hit it. It's like, man, I'd be miserable if I had to say the same thing even twice. I can't do that. Is that so? Yeah. Folks, check the tape. Uh-oh. DJ Khaled.

Have you ever brought coffee for the entire cast and crew of a music video shoot? Another one. Brought Starbucks coffee for the entire cast and crew of a music video shoot? And another one. One time brought coffee for the entire cast and crew of a music video? Another one. And bring coffee for the entire cast and crew. Cast and crew.

Cast and crew. Cast and crew. Cast and crew of a music video show. Cast and crew of a music video show. So Chris. Same Thing Twice was sent to us by Chris Finke. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyvoicepodcast at gmail.com. Wow.

Damn, he calls you out. Ooh, Finky gets thinky. Yeah. Yeah, he called you right out on that shit. Now that I think about it, I say the same shit constantly all the time. I thought that was on purpose to like get like a catchphrase going. Build your brand. That was.

And I think that when I said that I don't want to say the same thing twice, I was talking about how hard it would be to go to be an actor on a, on a, on a promo cycle. Kind of like the way that Neil is promoting Digman right now. Neil, are you constantly being asked the same questions all the time? Yes.

Yes. Uh, well, you kiss me. Will you stop kissing me? Those come back to back. If you stop kissing me. You really did though.

When Digman first was released you and andy did kind of a circuit right did you get the same shit a lot we did like a junket thing like for a few hours one day and then i think a couple we like went on comedy bang bang and did you have to do that thing like everyone was asking you questions and you had to be like andy's interesting too you know like hey don't forget that yeah exactly. Yeah, exactly. That was more like, hey, I'm over here. Remember me? Hey, remember me? I knew Andy. Hey, put me down.

So wait, Neil, so did you do it like you got a hotel room and you put up a backdrop and then? No, it was all Zoom. It was like we got on a Zoom and just different people would cycle in and be chatting with us. I guess that's the digital version. Who was your fave? You don't have to say uh there were lots i honestly there was there was met some people who had actually watched the show and were had interesting questions so the

media is good the mainstream media is a positive thing yeah media is a buzz. The media, nothing wrong with them. Speaking of media, this is a media outlet right now, Booze News, and I'm the editor-in-chief. And today's top story, I'm texting you guys, Booze, something that came out recently. An organization called Taste Atlas put out a list of the 50 most legendary cocktail bars and this is a worldwide list of the 50 most legendary cocktail bars and i was very happy to see how many of these bars we've if not been to we've we've discussed on the pod and they factored into some of our our drinks and they're kind of uh they're in order but then they have their little flags next to them so you can see the american ones yeah oh number 15's nice what's that oh the campbell neil i'm pulling this up now wait okay okay hey the tonga hut all

right i'm seeing tiki tea wait neil it's a there's, Neil, there's a martini bar in New York, and it's called the Campbell. Have you ever heard of it? Damn. No, I never even heard of it. You should go. They'll treat you like a king. They'll lift you up like C-3PO. I bet that's true.

Attaboy, please don't tell them Clover Club. Neil was just in town a couple weeks ago. We went to Clover Club. That's true. Where they invented the Trinidad Sour. And we've been to Attaboy as well. Look at these places. I gotta go to some of these. I was just happy to see

Tonga Hut and Tonga Room and Tiki Tea. Booge, booge, booge. I'm proud of California. Oh. I'm proud. Oh, I went and spent New Year's Eve at number 38. Little Red Door in Paris.

No shit. Wow. There you go. The turning of the year once. So wait, what are these drinks that are, is that like drinks that their best drink or like something was invented there or? Their iconic cocktail, yeah. Oh, okay.

I mean, half of them are like martini, yeah. Yeah. They can't all have invented the martini. Oh, Dante. I've been to number six. I bet you've been there, hand man. Yeah. Where is that Dante?

The village. I'm always scooting around the village. I've probably been there. You've definitely been there. I didn't just, uh, uh, you know, text you guys this JPEG to make the listeners, uh, listen to us look at everything. But I, I, I was proud that a lot of these new Orleans bars factored into know text you guys this jpeg to make the listeners uh listen to us look at everything but i i i was proud the a lot of these new orleans bars factored into my 17 mile saunter a lot of these oh yeah

like violet hour in chicago invented the paper plane a lot of inventors but i do think number one bar floridita in havana the daiquiri um We've talked about that when we did the Hemingway daiquiri, but I think long term, when this pod blows up so huge that we're rich and we're getting jetted all around the world, I think we make it a goal to record a live episode at Bar Floridita in Havana

and we have to figure out a way to sidestep the embargo. That's going to be so great for the four of us. Tim, your boss is getting a little clingy. Oh, God. I'm at the border

customs in Cuba. It's okay. I brought my boss. This place looks pretty good. Yeah, man. Floridita. We got to go. Number one cocktail bar in the world pretty good. Yeah, man. Floridita, we got to go. Number one cocktail bar in the world looks good. Yeah, to me it does.

Well, a cocktail enthusiast. The daiquiri, I think it might be, yeah, it's like the place to go and just get the original daiquiri, which we haven't done on the pod. No, we only did Hemingway's. We somehow have done every other variation on Earth. But you guys have also, you have been to places that were like the, where the drink stemmed, like originated. Yeah.

Oh, sure. We did in Hawaii. You were there, Kneeler. Sure. And also here, you've done the Russian root. You've done the. Oh, yes. Yes.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This isn't, we're not turning this into. Yeah, we did. We did get to go to our backyard. Calpy Cordial, the Grimace Piss. not turning this into yeah we did we did get to go to our backyard the cowpea cordial the grimace piss uh you know we're not turning this into a what you're trying to make it feel we're not doing that i think it's cool that mike has been to the place where the grimace piss was invented in fact he's sitting there yeah that's what i'm saying it's awesome all right how

is it mike do you feel the history all around you i told you not to pull this shit i said tim you could have your boss on but he can't pull the shit maybe i turn my apartment into a bar and we only serve grimace pisses and uh russian root and the new thing i'm working on for the new year oh that's gonna be good that's probably gonna be the star the star of the whole menu. Oh, that's going to be good. That's probably going to be the star, the star of the whole menu. Wow. I wonder if that's a clue. Really building excitement. Like star Anissa's in it or something.

He gave us no clues last episode. Not one clue. Yeah. I think he accidentally said it was a martini and then he was mad that he said that. Is that true? Interesting. Interesting memory on you boys. Interesting memory. Interesting. We have on you boys. Interesting memory.

We have an interesting memory. Well, is that it for Booze News? You gave us the JPEG. Was the JPEG the Booze News? The JPEG was the news, and my encouragement of the listeners to look up this JPEG for themselves. That's news you can use. I also, my Booze News

was going to be the ps5 which i talked about you're right i got scooped thursday i should have it here i have to download it does have a spot for the disc but it's the slim it's the ps5 slim i have to download the game gives me a three free download yeah and now i i was talking to somebody recently and i said how's that new game going and they said uh it's still it's got like 12 hours to download still no is this what i'm gonna be used to here is this maybe he was just being joking and thinking i knew what a ps5 download took okay i downloaded elden ring i don't remember it taking i guess i probably just did it overnight i don't know maybe it did take that long you know

you told us what games you played and i like they were they were like it's always like fantasy stuff it's like jrpgs right yeah fire emblem three houses on the switch dragon age 11 s echoes of an elusive age yes yes i think is how it was yes i played that i played these are time-consuming games i haven't played the new zelda but the Breath of the Wild I played. Okay. I'm playing Elden Ring now. You play Fantasy, Neil? Okay, that makes sense why the game I saw on your coffee table last time I was there was The Little Blonde Twerp Beats

Up the Mayor. Yeah, you're right. It's your ultimate fantasy. That wouldn't play out. Oh, I finally got my revenge on my arch-mesis, the mayor. Make me pay for parking here, will ya? Okay, that's it for Booze News.

On with the show. Hey, there it is. Mario. That's so funny i always remember that as the end and this one weird is that way does that mario when you like jump on the flag or whatever yeah that's mario super mario brothers gotcha gotcha oh yeah and then you were doing the fireworks there, Jeff. Yeah. Geek shit. Which I love. Geek shit. Let's see. That movie made a billion at the box office this year. So yeah, geek shit.

I don't mind being a geek all of a sudden. Fuck. Fuck my life. Damn. I put him in his place. I'm sorry, folks. I had to do it. Had to do it. Bam! I had to do it.

I had to do it to him. The movie crushed at the box office. Tim at work is always, you know, oh, this is like if Ant-Man met Full Metal Alchemist. I'm like, Tim, why do you have this other persona on the pod? What's Full Metal Alchemist? Is that another? That's anime.

Because here I'm a shock jock and at work um you know king dork you gotta you gotta fit in with the dorks yeah true you've yeah at work he's never once taken a laser pointer and pointed out where i need to lose weight oh just just that's when it's constructive criticism oh yeah i do need yeah i need to lose weight there like right about here hold still right about here maybe i'll bring a sharpie to work and start doing putting some dotted lines where people could use some lipo hey if you had the extra cash neil maybe we get a bonus this year you do some lipo right here um i'll tell you a work mishap that did lead to me losing some weight was uh i got last week we got mendocino farms uh for for lunch and and

beautiful extra little noodle salad a little like kind of like lo mein noodles with broccoli tiny little container sitting on the table lunch came at 12 30 and then end of the day six i'm leaving i say hey look at these extra noodles i'm gonna eat them and everyone watched me pick up these noodles and eat them and then a couple hours later i'm at home the stomach starts to hurt food, 24 hours of... Damn. Oh, toilet time. Here we go. Yes. And I was doing a little bit of launching. And let's just say, I had to take the next day off of work.

But then when I got in the following day, I felt fantastic. Like, I had a cleanse. And all my pitches were on point. Neil couldn't believe it. We talking. I was spouting off. And Neil said, this is a brand new year. Neil was trying to type. And he goes, okay, that's the season three premiere season four premiere season five premiere and

they're like tim now do the finales season three finale season four finale great those are all great titles now let's get to work tim were you were you were you front door backdooring or how did we oh well is this good podcasting i'm trying to be as delicate as possible nasty okay i know that we don't do turd talk here on the show but one time in college uh well i was interning i was in la but i was interning out here i ate a pequito moss and i got food poisoning and i had the unfortunate incidentity To be sitting on the toilet And then need to barf and barf through my legs Oh

You don't want to do that You don't want to have to do that Nasty stuff Nope no you don't Wait hold on I got a thing about food sitting out Thanksgiving We love it It's a banquet all of our friends are there but then

the turkey sits out there doesn't it yeah turkey sits out how long do you wait you know do you guys go back to the turkey three hours later because i get freaked out meats cheeses shouldn't be out for like three hours yeah yeah yeah how long do i wait before i go back to the tofurkey oh yes meals a vegetarian yes i'm not eating meat you see i usually i could eat that stuff but uh usually i'm like less i like it less because the it's just like warm cheese rather than like it's like it's like sweaty warm cheese at that point you know what i mean yeah i guess i like that at our house parties we would wake up and eat the cheese pizza that was left out from the night before to be fine you know there's a lot of salt in that though is that the difference salt well it's salt to the point where it's cured

that's what i'm saying uh guys i just i I thought of a funny song today, a song parody. I'll sing it for you now. So the scissor song, I just killed my, Kill Bill, Kill Bill. I just ate Tex-Mex, not a good idea. This afternoon I'll have diarrhea. That's very good. I come up with a lot of song parodies, but they're never

funny. I've never thought to incorporate humor into one of my song parodies. A funny song parody, yeah. Yeah, I'm so good at parodying songs. That's an interesting take, to have a funny one. Well, add that tool to your belt.

Yeah, it's fun. yeah well you're usually parodying like like classical music uh themes and variations and those are very funny to a specific group yeah yeah or i'm bringing up like social issues and stuff yeah intriguing yeah try satire next time okay the drink of the day do you guys want to hear about this thank you yes please i love to hanky panky you've had no no yes yes uh so that's a yes from neil jeff and mike have you heard heard heard because it's on the iba list though yeah. Yeah. Right. Wow. For me, I got to say that I have had only because one time I was in Neil Campbell's backyard admiring the citrus growth, watching the mating habits of the husband squirrel and the wife squirrel. Oh, yeah.

And Neil asked me if I wanted a drink. I said, yes. He says, how about a hanky-panky? I said, what? And he made me the classic hanky panky? I said, what? And he made me the classic cocktail called the hanky panky. Neil made you a hanky panky? He made, today he says made me one of these.

Why do you think I'm here? Because of the Digman thing. Oh, fuck. You fucking idiot. What do you think, Jeff? You don't think. What do you think? You don't think. What do you think? You don't think.

Now, I've waited to be on pod to even ask Neil. How did that, Neil, how did that experience come to pass that you were making a hanky-panky for your boy, Tim? Okay. I received as a gift from my roommate, Fran, a book called Behind the Bar by Alia Akam. 50 Cocktail Recipes from the World's Most Iconic Hotels. Ooh.

Ooh. Nice little hardcover number. That book is a statement piece. You go to number 14, I was flipping through it. I was really just flipping through to see, like, what do I have the ingredients for? many of them are you know have have liqueurs and stuff that i do not own or are like yeah we get it weird you know a crazy long one like the beautiful amore gasp from the thief bar in oslo is like 17 ingredients. But anyway, number 40 was the hanky panky.

You have salt? And I had the ingredients. I went, all right, I'll try this. It also seemed like a variation on the Negroni. You know, or, you know, an adjacent drink, I would say, which is maybe my favorite cocktail or one of my favorites. And there I went went i made it up and hey i like this too damn what bar was this from this is from the savoy bar it was it was it was fancy in london uk the or the i'm sorry the american bar at the savoy hotel we're just talking

about yep harry craddock one of the two Harrys. Craddock. This is great. And it has a little history of it here, but I'm sure you're about to get to that. Oh, shit. No, I didn't even, I didn't know. Well, here, I'll say what I got, and then you tell me. Hey, Tim, just let Neil read his book. We'll just have to credit that publishing house. Yeah, if he wants to earn the money, he's going to have to read something.

So I've been saying Savoy. Do you think it's Savoy? Savoy. Savoy. Oh. Savoy. Yeah, I didn't even think. I took Besser's advice.

I don't want to grow or change. I'm just going to keep saying Savoy. It's like when Jay-Z says Shaboy. Shaboy. Savoy. Savoy. He's saying the name of that hotel no no it's like it's that cadence though when he stays there with beyonce shaboy and savoy he wants one time they were they were in a hotel elevator one time and i don't want to tell you what what they got into um tim don't

bring it on sorry well here's what I was going to say. Yeah. Usually when we're talking about the American bar at the Savoy Hotel in London, we're talking about Harry Craddock and his book. But this is a drink that predates that book, predates Harry Craddock, but was invented at that very hotel because oh and here was an interesting fact the hotel was uh uh built by rupert doily cart who was a theater producer doily car who he was like the producer of a lot of gilbert and sullivan plays oh cool okay and he uh at this hotel right around the the beginning of the the 20 century, there was a bartender at the American bar named Ada Coleman. Coley, they called her.

And she made drinks. She was a legend. She made drinks for the likes of Mark Twain, the Prince of Wales, Diamond Jim Brady, the famous fat eating man that we've discussed. Yeah. Oh, he would have double dinner. The double dinner guy. But then there was an actor in London named Sir Charles Hawtree, and he would always go in there and say, Coley, I'm tired.

Give me something with a little bit of a punch in it. Nice. And she eventually decided to come up with a special cocktail just a punch in it nice and um she uh eventually decided to come up with a special cocktail just for him and surprise him with it so she made this cocktail and then he took a sip and he said by jove that is a real hanky panky really oh which i guess is slang for the day the quote here is his initial thing was he said, I'm half dead. What can you do to make me feel

quite alive? And she whipped it up and he came back in. S'more that hanky-panky. Oh, man. I know hanky-panky to me means, well, sex.

I've never heard just an exclamation when you drink a cocktail. Yeah, I mean, to me, it actually means intercourse. Yeah. I tend to think of it as a little bit of the horizontal

mambo. I sort of think of it as like... Lean into the microphone and yell. I think of it as sort of a Erect phallus into a moist vagina Oh my I think what my friend here Used to say is a little P and V

Hey that's heteronormative A little penile activity Oh you're right Well hey hanky panky Can also just be like General monkey business. Yeah. I.

Yeah. General necking. Oh, I served under him in the war. Sorry. Genital monkey business. I saw a tick tock recently of a monkey drinking his own piss. Is that what you're talking about? Mike, such toilet humor today.

All right. Now you're bringing up my catchphrase on another podcast what tiktok oh don't make him do his character don't make me do my signature character that must be huge for that character yeah next, if you do the timekeeper here, uh, made famous in comedy, bang, bang,

then, then Mike's going to make me do Tony Bagata, Ben Giano, my, my hit character on comedy, bang, bang. What was he doing?

What was the body? Get a Ben Giano's deal. Quite clever. Uh, I think it flew over the heads of the listeners of comedy, bang, bang. It would be better here.

Um, it was sort of like, uh, the head of the Italian American, uh,-defamation oh yeah and uh but he was kind of a a cliche in his own right yes is zuby condorino the only character who's been on both pods because linen i know is his own separate pod i mean on this pod oh yeah Zoomy Condorino made his way to bang bang I forgot about that made his way he was he was welcomed with uh rolled out the red carpet treatment because he got the boot from here no I was told I was told right away uh that

it was a stupid idea but I got the laughs I wanted on On which pod are you saying? Both. It wasn't respected either places. And yet I still get requests to do it again. Hmm. How does that work? Can't do it. Can't exactly do the math on that one, but the math isn't mathing. Oh gosh.

It is funny that that was a, you know, a lot of fun, funny things that have happened in the, in the hundreds of hours of this podcast, but that was one where me and Jeff chose to tell Mike that we didn't like it. We decided to be honest friends and say, hey, look, we do not like that. I remember I was driving through Malibu and just a silence overtook the car for about 20 minutes. I mean, it ruined you.

Like, think of the beautiful PCH, the view, everything. It was ruined by Zooming Under Real. No, you really didn't like Tom and Jerry, huh? Yeah, he saw the trailer of it. He didn't like it. Well, it was, I think the problem was I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and be like, hey, I'm going to try this character. Maybe we'll do more on the podcast and have a thing. But we didn't need it.

I like that. I think that we didn't like that it was a film review and it didn't have anything to do with booze. And we couldn't even really find a way in that. Sure, sure. Those are some of the issues. It was sort of sort of standalone and that's sort of why a lot of the times now when we do segments we come in with our own uh theme songs because then it's just like well this is you can clearly see this is a segment that exists

yeah yeah it's an official segment yeah see it has a theme so it was just the wrong place for it. Great character, wrong moment. Yeah. Wrong segment. It's a good character. Now back to the hanky panky, which is an IBA cocktail. And we're getting pretty close to closing out this IBA list. Finally. Which is very exciting.

How many are we really have left? Like 10? No, like less. Like seven now. Wow. And we're going to do the bloody mary we should do the bloody mary for for new year's day week so that's good that's like a brunchy thing yes munch the brunch yeah we're gonna close it out very soon um but here is the iba uh uh recipe oh and neil i'd be i'd be interested to hear if this is the

original recipe that's in your book as well. But IBA says the recipe is 45 milliliters of London dry gin. That's an ounce and a half. Does that check out, Neil? So far? Absolutely correct.

Okay. We are on a roll so far. Nervously, I'll move on to 45 milliliters an ounce and a half of sweet red vermouth two for two nice can i stick a landing keep it going to me i feel like i'm on who wants to be a millionaire 7.5 milliliters quarter quarter of an ounce of Fernet Branca. That's right. Yes. And is the method pour all ingredients into a mixing glass. Mixing glass, guys. Okay.

Mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well, strain into chilled cocktail glass, garnish with an orange zest. Roughly, it's a strain into a coupe glass here, but you know. Well, I'll take it. coupe glass here but you know well i'll take it across the pond you know right oh do they say orange zest because that is common with for net drinks yep yep they say finish with an orange twist orange twist to garnish yeah wow interesting because the iba will fuck up a drink every once in a while. Oh, yeah. For no reason. Sometimes they just do something weird. I think they got Coley's recipe here.

Coley. Coley. Coley. Coley, you old fool. Shout out to Coley. One of the few female head bartenders, they say at that time. Nice. Yeah. Do you want to make Coley proud?

Yeah. Yeah. Let's make Coley proud. She's smiling down on us right now all right folks we're gonna go make these drinks and when we come back for sips and we're back hanky Panky's in hand. Let's see him. Pretty classic looking little cocktail here.

Yeah, not a great yield off the recipe, though. I'm not really feeling my glass. Yeah, not a great yield. Oh, Neil, you got one of those little short dudes. Yeah, one of those. I mean, I think it's called like a Negroni glass, you know, sort of. I love that. I got to say, guys, I had the craziest roller coaster experience just now

i reach in the fridge for my sweet red vermouth there is none i just assumed i had it and then i was pulling my hair out tim you fucking idiot everybody's so everyone's right about you you're worthless i was like neil's right at work when he screams then I go I'm like well this is fucked but what can I do what's a substitute for sweet red vermouth

and then I had a brainstorm that fucking rocked it I took some dry vermouth and I and I mixed it with

port you know like a sweet red wine and I took a sip and I was like I think I just perfectly made sweet red vermouth so I took a sip and I was like, I think I just perfectly made sweet red vermouth. So I actually do think I have an approximation.

All right. I like that. Way to go. Don't mind that. I used to, a type of London dry gin I haven't had before. What kind? Plem.

Fuck. Portobello road. That's what it's called. Portobello road. Ooh. I like the sound of Plem. Plem. I just got a nice brand new

bottle of pea feeder. Seagram's for me. And me? Fords. Hey, they make good cars. Yeah. Versus Ferrari. Sips. Ooh, yeah.

Ooh. Mmm. yeah. Ooh. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Okay. I gotta say, impressive. We talk on the pod about how Fernet really takes over. If you have like Fernet and soda, Fernet and Coke, like a Fernet and Andito,

it's hard to dilute Fernet. It really takes the front. But this little point, this 7.5 Milliliters I'm just getting a Fernetti aftertaste, it's like a Manhattan Yeah, you let it sit in your mouth It is like a Manhattan There's the Fernette showing up

Oh, there it is Don't swallow too fast, you'll miss it This, I feel like Yeah, Manhattan-y was the right Thing to say I feel like if I had Better vermouth, this would taste better. Like, I've had my red vermouth in my fridge for a while. Me too, but not in the fridge.

Ooh. Out and about. Out and about. Nasty. Nuali Pratt. Mm-hmm. It's nice to have a distinguished drink for once. They don't have to all be big, sweetie souries.

I know. This is nice. Yeah, I mean, that's my... You know, I listen to this pod. I listen to every episode. I love it, but I'm always sitting there screaming at my car radio, I don't like that drink, and you guys do like it all! But yeah, I don't really like

fruit juice in a drink very often. Look, all of this is with the caveat of like when in Rome, like I'll go to a tiki bar and have a big crazy tea. But like left to my own devices, I don't drink very sweet drinks. I don't enjoy sweet drinks very much. You're a Negroni guy, Neil. I've seen you drink Negronis. I like a kind of darker, more complex or more bitter drink,

a stirred cocktail. Negroni I love, Mart martini i love but that's that's the bane of my existence and sometimes i go i have one of those or the other or both and i go i want something else what else is in this family and there's very little you know or a manhattan or something but yeah yeah you just don't you know i'll have a mezcal negroni or something but uh you know a variation on a martini, sure. A variation, a white Negroni. Sure. But I never, so that's what excited me when I discovered this drink in this book was I was

like, Oh, this actually is what I typically look for at a place, which is like a, something in this family that's just a slightly different flavor profile from a Negroni or obviously from a martini or something, but that's, that's always the realm I'm looking in. And if you got any suggestions, send them to the sloppy boys and tell them to pass them along to me. That's going to be a full-time job for us.

We'll just give you the, we'll just give you the code to the email. No, no, I guess you can slide into my DMS and tell me what drink I should have. I slid into your DMS. i could barely get out get me out of this guy won't stop me out of here hey mike how's your day g neil i just wanted to see if you want to go on a date with me i feel like i had one once that was also good and i forget and i feel like i even texted you tim about it and it was something it was like a crazy like

the naked and like famous famous maybe it was that a crazy, like the naked and... Naked and famous? Famous. Maybe it was that. But now I worry I'm saying the exact wrong thing. And it was a different... You texted me about an olive oil martini one time. Yeah, I found that. That was in Brooklyn.

Now, Neil, over the summer, remember, you had a love affair with a port wine Negroni. Yeah, and that's true. I had a port wine Negroni. And I have the ingredients to make one. I haven't made one myself yet, but. See, look at that. Port wine, I'm swapping in port.

Yeah, that's smart. That's interesting. Very, life is interesting. I'm seeing Naked and Famous. Naked and Famous is equal parts mezcal, yellow chartreuse, Aperol, and fresh lime. Hmm. Maybe a little too limey.

I actually think it was something, I feel like it was like a B and a B word, but it was like an and one, but I had never heard of it and I haven't seen it since, but I looked it up and it was a real... Boss Baby? Oh, Boss Baby. It was a Boss Baby. Boss Baby, yeah. I don't think they were as popular though when you would have been

out here in New York. Is that what you're talking about, Neil? Boss Babies are huge. That's more of a Savoy London thing. Yeah, everyone's drinking Boss babies. Havana is all about them. It's so annoying because it's going to go away eventually, but they're good. The casual listener is like, uh, the fuck did I just hear? 30 minutes in.

Is there a little man in my radio? Sorry. I was just trying to think how casual a listener they were go ahead well i'm with you as far as the uh uh cocktails they're a little like yeah a dry or a stiff uh cocktail that's not a big sweet cup uh but then also here's isn't it nice to have a thing to use for an edit we all like for net we all love for net yeah sure yeah typically for net i think we we've all come to know it it's famously like a kitchen staff drink at the end of a night like bar staff or kitchen staff will do like we'll drink for net but then i i feel like you usually drink it neat i like to have it on rocks some

people put ginger ale or soda in it. Jeffy's been ordering a lot of the Fernet and Cokes. But it's nice to have a place to put another use for a thing that's on your shelf. Sure. Yeah. I'll tell you right now, this might not be my favorite use of Fernet. I think it is my favorite use of sweet red vermouth. Yeah.

I was excited to be able to have for net because i don't think i bought it i didn't have one here even though we've done a drink before with it but i think i got it in la anyway i'm excited to have that on my my counter also yes excited to use this sweet red vermouth and a lot of it tim yeah quite a bit of it tim you ran into this right you probably thought like oh i'm sure I have this red vermouth at home because I've bought five bottles of it because they always go bad and I always forget I have it, so I buy it a ton.

And what could I have possibly used it in? I remember I was trying to drink Negroni's to use it, but the idea that I went through a whole bottle of it, Jesus Christ, somebody probably stole it. A home invasion situation. There's a lot of vermouth slander. I'm going to post on Nextdoor.

Yeah. You hear a lot about like catalytic converters being stolen. That also happens with sweet red vermouth. Yeah. I'm going to stay up all night with my rifle. Neil, are you willing on a show that shit talks sweet red vermouth? Would you go? You're a Negroni guy.

Sure. You're also a manhattan guy do you ever just drink sweet sweet red vermouth oh straight have you found a good one i don't and yes i don't appreciate the vermouth slander on the pod that sometimes i get listening and it doesn't come from tim he's you know basically my boy but the other at this point at this point yeah yeah hit the two co-hosts kind of uh oh shit the two co-hosts yeah i want to go full metal alchemist on their ass at times all right second mention i'm looking it up you got me neil but uh i i don't but you know what i have a bottle and i that sat in my

fridge for like a year that's like a tasting like artisan sweet red vermouth that is meant to be tasted and i still haven't opened it up yeah that sounds good isn't there a bar like on sunset like which one is it over in silver lake that has like a vermouth menu i've had it there what oh full metal alchemist yes edward elric alphonse elric roy mustang yes oh if i'd said the characters you would have known when we yeah winry uh rockville yes of course he knows go ahead i interrupted yeah what's that for mooth bar it's i think it's moothies uh moothies revenge yeah moothie his revenge uh moothie's booths oh mooth booth i've eaten there it's right by like el condor it's and i forget which one it is it's there's those restaurants are always like maybe it used to be sawyer and something else oh god i can't keep up

not being able to remember the name of a super local, hyper localized thing. It's great podcasting. They'll listen to whatever we tell them to listen to. Don't you worry. Will they watch something? On Paramount Plus they will. The secret to good sweet red vermouth, what me and Jeff learned up in Napa, get a bottle, even the cheap stuff,

but just wait 40 years before you drink it and it'll get good because, I don't know if we talk about this on pod but we were at when we're at this fancy restaurant in napa bartender comes out to our table and says hey you guys want to try something cool the the owner gave me a budget for dusties this is this is the end of the night this is after the best meal i've had in 10 years he comes out and says this this is cacio e pepe fucking pasta and a wheel of cheese this is tomahawk ribeye the wheel of cheese come on yeah post dessert drinks and he said i got some dusties he says

and yeah the owner guys i'm excited owner gave me a budget for some for some dusties and we're like what's dusties he's like i go to like estate sales or, or like when bars go out of business, I go and buy like dusty old bottles that they have. And, uh, there was this amazing, like, uh, Amara we had, but that we, what really blew our minds was a normal bottle of martini and Rossi sweet red vermouth, but from 1972 unopened uh and uh he brought it out and we were just sipping it straight and it was delicious and it was really dry and delicious and not too sweet so just wait 40 years before you drink the should we open this bottle no no no we're going to see cabaret in the theater. Give it 40 years. It's the origin story of that one bottle. It debuted in 72? Yeah. Wow.

You didn't know that? No. Maybe some kid will drink this in 40 years and then puke. Kid? Why am I saying 40 years? It's almost 50 years. Jesus Christ. A 40-year 40 year old not a kid a 40 year old i think i'm watching loki all the time travel yeah me too don't get me started on loki i tried watching it the other day mike you focus up on deadpool 3 don't worry about loki

i'm ready for deadpool yeah that was the thing i thing. I saw some trailers and stuff for Loki, and then I turned it on at Disney Plus and had like last season on Loki and had all this exciting stuff going. I was like, oh, this is going to be great. And the first shot is like him in a suit talking to somebody. I was like, well, this is not what

I was expecting at all. Goodbye, Loki.ke you gotta get into fma man fma what's that full metal alchemist oh my god have you seen full metal alchemist or is this just a funny title to you no i've seen it i've seen the elric twins uh roy mustang yeah i haven't seen i haven't i haven't watched the entire thing also i didn't take you for an anime guy either, Neil. This is crazy. How do you have so much time in the day?

He's an everything guy. That's the thing about Neil. He knows all. No, I think that was actually the clarification. The main thing I was going to say. I'm an imposter in it all. I dip my toe in this here and there. No, you're a jack of all trades.

You're a renaissance dude. You're saying you're an imposter in like heavy groups like heavy like comic-con type you couldn't go there and talk about it oh you couldn't hang over there amongst idiots like us you say whatever you want we know but you've seen full metal alchemist yes but i haven't seen the entire thing so no one dm me the final line of the series you see attack on titan uh same thing i've watched a little bit of that, but I haven't, I haven't completed it.

Tim, you want to step out to for a minute? Jeez Louise. This is even geeky for me. These guys go, no, this is good. No,

no, it's cool. This is culture. It's cool. We're hip. Neil, I think I can poke a hole in your knowledge. Yes.

Here's, here's a question for you can you name one aew wrestler uh swerve okay i'm googling it swer wrestler. I think he's got it. Because I can't. Yes! Neil, fuck!

Oh, this is one of the guys. This is one of the guys that I saw at AEW full gear, and I didn't even know his name. You fuck! You fucked me! See, he knows everything there is. He's like J jeeves the way you said swerve there reminded me of uh one time you were on questions for lennon this is when it was back in stitcher so i don't even can find these anymore but uh you would just watch split the movie split oh yeah

and your character was his name was split i was like like, so what's up with you? And you were like, hey, you know me, I'm Split. I got all these identities. I'm Split. Yeah, that character didn't really stick around. He split up too much. He could be anyone out there. He's very Loki the trickster-like. That was a movie, two days after watching it,

you're doing all the voice. Like, no, no, I miss Patricia. and then they kind of like evaporate from the memory but you got me in the sweet spot who's the who's the main guy there oh the actor's dream playing 12 characters in split i was trying to get a no no he's in there Now you're thinking of Egon Eldrick or whatever his name is. The Kingsman? I like the Kingsman. No, Kingsman is Eggsy.

But you said Kingsman, right? Eggsy, Eggsy. That's what I said. I think he's back... I think he's... He's Elton John and he's Tetris. Yes, the Kingsman guy, but not McAvoy. He's Tetris.

McAvoy's wanted. McAvoy's... Yes, he's... Professor X. He's inris. McAvoy's wanted. McAvoy's, yes, he's Professor X. He's in Loki? Charles? No. Okay.

Well, oh, maybe not Loki. We're throwing around a lot of properties here. He's low-key and low-key. He's low-key, low-keyed. He's actually low-key. Thomas, Thomas Middleditch. Tom Hiddleston. Tom Hiddleston is Loki Loki.

Oh, yeah. What do you say? Loki Goated? He's Loki Goated. If being a. Where's he from? Alcenor? Yeah.

Who? Hiddleston? Hiddleston? Loki Loki. Oh, Asgard. Yeah yeah he's not from hamlet's castle if being an asgardian trickster is the vibe loki is loki loki loki well what do we what would you take us out if i may if i may do different if i may what would you change about the drink i mean i would have the correct ingredients but i i could maybe imagine a little more for net how about you guys are you getting the same yeah i i say i would say less

uh vermouth which i think would make room for the more... I mean, 7.5... What is it? 7.5? Not ounces. What is it? Milliliters. Quarter ounce. So what are we boosting it to? 10? 15? Double it. I would say go to half an ounce. 15 mil.

Take it to the limit. 15 mil. I'm going to do that too. All right, folks. We'll see you right back here after these messages. Have you ever had graphene? Have you ever had graphene rubbing around your dick? Be right back. Bye folks. we're back with round two of hanky panky let's take some sips huh we all did more for net i did

the kind of same thing you guys did a little more for net i put ice cubes in this one i need i wanted a little colder ice cubes in a cocktail. I need, I want it a little colder. Ice cubes. Yay, yay. Ice cubes in a cocktail glass. It looks like they're our logo. Sips. Yes. Ooh, that's good. That's much better. Oh.

Ooh. Yeah, I don't mind a little more for that. Yeah, that's good. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Damn, this thing is stronger than graphene. The strongest substance on the planet, Neil? The second strongest substance on the planet. A heggie peggy with double the fernet is the strongest now.

Graphene, now that's a really rough substance, right? You wouldn't want to... No, no, no. You couldn't be more wrong. And the heat transferal properties? Don't even get me started. You guys are just talking about graphene, just the substance, but what you don't realize is it's actually used in one flex condoms are our sponsor really i was just

talking to some NASA scientists and they were telling me about it and those condoms are thinner than human hair is that true oh yeah and and which is good because my before this my prophylactic of choice was human hair damn i honestly i would not mind, my prophylactic of choice was human hair. Damn. Honestly, I would not mind sliding my cock into one of those. Oh, you want that personal graphene touch that you get from one flex condom. Yeah, yeah. But no, I might try to make a condom made out of a double for net. Hinky Panky. Just give your cock a little splash.

Yeah. Give him a little competition. Okay. We love the for net, uh, the double for net. Hanky Panky. Do we not? We love it.

Yeah. This is O a for me. Mm. Mm. Rip Marling. Order again. Oh, a,

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a a a a a it sounds like this is a real bastille drink it's a best deal drink i don't think i've seen the hanky panky on a menu but if i saw one like a professional bar was like we make the hanky panky. I would order it. Yeah. We're living in a Fernet boom. I was at L&E once, L&E Oyster Bar in Silver Lake. And I mentioned, do you know the hanky panky? Do you do the hanky panky?

The bartender, Ryan, at the time was very kind. He was like, I don't know that. And then he made one and gave it to me for free. He's like, yeah, I just wanted to try it out. But I've never just seen one on a cocktail menu. And if I saw one on a cocktail menu, I'd order it in a second. That's a good policy of bartenders of the world. If somebody stumps you with a drink, make it for them for free.

Yeah. That's nice. Learn it. How many people can get free Russian roots? That behooves bartenders around the world to be listening to us and telling their bartender friends. Bone up on your drinks. Bone appetite guys.

Bone up. Wait, were there any other final thoughts or we just all say we all, we all like it. We all order again. And I think so. And your wrinkles order again. All right.

And I'll say again, best use of sweet red vermouth. Yeah, by far. But then we, then we was all around. And I'll say again, best use of sweet red vermouth. Yeah. By far. That we use so far. Now, I got a question for you guys. You've,

you've heard of the hanky panky cocktail, right? Yeah. Now, but we also came up earlier on the hanky panky also has another meaning. My baby does the hanky ppanky I've heard people would kind of refer to right okay so you've heard of the cocktail you've heard of that but keeping in mind that meaning of hanky-panky have you heard of the Quiz. Yes.

Yes. Yes, you have. No, no, I've never, never, never, never heard. Not until this moment. Well, it's a longstanding quiz invented at the Savoy Hotel. No, guys, I'm springing a quiz on you. This is a hanky, a sexy hanky, panky quiz. And,

uh, you're getting, I got, I got three contestants here. Neil, Jeff, Mike, when,

if, if you know the answer to the question, you just blurt it out. You don't buzz it or anything. It's a border. Uh, damn winner. Yeah.

Gets a lifetime supply of one flex. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I get one condom. Now, is that because you don't have sex law or because you're only going to live one more night? I mean, they're strong enough that you can wash them and reuse them is my understanding. I don't think you're right. Now, that we will say is not true folks

oh come on i think there's probably something in the ad speak that says we shouldn't say something you can wash them look the first part have fun go nuts wash them all you want after you don't wash them throw them away sorry to say but hey this is a momentous occasion i don't think we've had three contestants on a quiz before. Yeah. The competition is going to be fierce. No, this is great. I'm champing at the bit. Um, oh, you're

I think it's chomping at the bit. No, no champing. That's what I thought too, but I've heard champing. I think it's chomping at the bat. Oh, God. Oh, God. What did I say before the break? Let's do this quickly so we can be done. Oh, God. Oh, God. What did I say before the break? Let's do this quickly so we can be done. Here we go.

Question number one on the Hanky Panky quiz. I should warn you, this might get quite steamy, so you might need to take a cold shower after this one. Question one. In Basic Instinct, the film, question one in basic instinct the film when Sharon Stone

uncrosses her legs what buzzy part does she reveal god damn I was going to say that when you first said in basic instinct but I was like no maybe he's tricking me somehow we also would have accepted vulva okay Mike is on the board with one maybe he's tricking me somehow. We also would have accepted Volva. Okay.

Mike is on the board with one. Mike, how does it feel to be leading the Hanky Panky quiz? Wonderful. It feels good to be moving up the ranks. When you were a little kid and you saw the Seinfeld, the Mulva thing, did it just go over your head?

Were you just like, huh? Oh my God. So many, so many Seinfeldfeld things i was like what i was like i thought he was a stand-up what is he's got a tv show very confusing okay here we go good question number two in the hanky panky whiz stand-up comedy semen launches from what gland? Vast deference.

The gland. Oh, you want the gland. I've heard you say this gland today many a time, and I just tried to remember. Don't. Not the meatus, is it? Don't overthink it. Semen launches from what gland?

I feel like the last two letters I feel like are N-S. Glons. Testicle. Glons? Testicle. Glons? Testicle. Shaft. Urethra. It's not the pituitary gland. Here's a hint. You can reach it from your butthole.

Oh. The male G-spot. Prostate? Yes! Neil is on the board with the prostate gland oh not what i was thinking i was thinking something else all right but hey i got the point this this sperm themselves come from the testes but when it comes to the semen well that's launching from the prostate gland so it's the carrier fluid they pick up all those little tadpoles on the way out along the way it says come on with us it's like they text him hey i'm headed out you want i'll scoop you we're gonna try to break

through the scraffing we're headed straight for a graphene wall so many sperm and meet their fate okay question three on three on the Hanky Panky quiz. But if we break through, we'll land on a keyboard. Break through. Jerking off of the condom. You got to break through. Okay, but for on a serious note, guys three on the hanky panky quiz

promiscuity promiscuity was once practiced by the great granddaughter of this hotel magnate conrad hilton jefferson's on the board one weird time up conrad hilton as seen on Mad Men. Very interesting. It's just a lag. It's because he's probably about 400 yards closer to you than I am. We debate this a lot. It's the Los Feliz connection.

I'm still giving my grade of the drink. Okay. But how did he know to say that uh question four here we go webster's dictionary defines homosexuality wow sexual activity sexual activity with another of the same sex very interesting here we go moving on with the hanky panky quiz this now 20 000 women allegedly did the nasty with this tall man michael gets it all the way from brooklyn new york mike you must have said it before i finished the question if i if i heard you first i was

i was giving this drink oh it's a will chamberl Chamberlain size. Yes. For me. Tall, tall, tall. Damn. I'm trailing. Against Wilt Chamberlain or in the quiz? If you're trailing, you're bailing. Both. No. Yeah.

Your body count wise. Humiliating that he's beating you. I'm telling you, I'm about 20,000 give or take. I'm only a 19,000. Okay. Next question. Sniff. Sniff. i'm only a 19 000 uh okay next question sniff sniff chicks can't resist the smell of this insect insect extract pollen horny goat weed insect extract no chicks can't resist the smell of this insect extract spanish fly stink bug michael gets it spanish flying what you dirty boy i'll never be as horny as you guys neil it's a blessing and a curse i'll tell you Eat some more of that horny goat weed and you'll be able to catch up with Mike Han

for horny goat weed. For you listeners at home, I sit around listening to these quizzes and I'm like, I dominate these things. Then you get on. It's intense. The spotlights are... Your sweat's pouring down.

Well, Neil, you didn't have to set up those spotlights in your home. Why'd you let yourself? I feel like I'm in clockers. Wonderful film. Okay, here we go. Speaking of films, I'm pretty sure I first heard

the term hanky-panky in the film adaptation of this play about a play noise is off yes neil is on the board you wrote that one for neil tim you teed him up that's a neil question neil's a play guy he loves theater i was i was gonna say hamlet but of course that's the play is the thing and not a play with it yeah it's not and it's also they don't say hanky-panky in Hamlet. Yeah, they say Hamlet, Pamlet. Okay, next question.

Huh. How many inches in length is your erect penis? Wait a minute. I don't think I can answer this. Is this a correct answer? No, it's different for each of us. 6.1. Neil is on the board.

There we go. Neil got that one right. Jeff and Mike. 6.1. I just want the points. The other guy is neglecting to respond publicly. Our silence is deafening, Jefferson. I have to say that I respect your honesty that you chose to refrain rather than lie.

Thank you. But Neil wins it with 6.1. Interesting to know. I'm not sure what the national averages are and I don't want to expose myself. Fran is a lucky lady.

Okay, moving on. Oh, we're just roommates. You're Hanky Panky, your roommate? Yeah, Neil, that's not in the roommate agreement. Come on. This is interesting here now

because Mike has four, Neil has three, and. Come on. This is interesting here now because Mike has four, Neil has three, and Jeff has one. This is fascinating. No, Jeff has more than one. He got... No, I only got Conrad Hilton, I think. Oh, I thought you got the very first one. Wait, I have four or three.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike, you have four. I'll sit back and relax. Sorry. I shouldn't question the game master. Here we go. How many more questions tim three so jeff you better get every one yeah get them all okay but also uh well wait jeff did you want a side point uh yeah yeah i would like that okay

jeff's got a side point now it's mike has four, Neil has three, Jeff has two. Okay, next question. Nice, Jeff. It's basically the way that college football works these days. Neil, it's interesting you bring up that certain sport because my next question is this. The one and only Taylor Swift is doing the horizontal mambo with a man who plays this position. Tight end.

Fuck. I heard Hanford first. Tight end. Here we go. Damn. Next up, milk, milk, lemonade. Yes, this may be true. But this substance is made around the closure. Fudge.

Fudge. Jefferson. Oh, thank God. And finally, the last question is, and you sort of speak. And how many points is this one worth? Mike has one, two, three, four, five. Neil has one, two, three.il has one two three jeff has one two three um uh this i forgot to mention this final question is worth four points okay okay and if you win it

are you allowed to distribute those points any way you want yes you get to use your own discretion. All right. One flex condoms are thinner than what? Hair. Human hair. Michael Hanford, human hair. This is exciting. Okay, Mike, this all comes down to you. Neil has three. Jeff has three.

You have one, two, three, four, five. You just won four. That should be six I just had, I three, four, five. You just won four. That should be six I just had, I think. Well, no. No, you just got four points. You had five, and you just won four points. So everyone is watching you. So I have nine.

Which you can distribute however you choose. You can distribute however you want. So you can give two to Jeff, two to me, and we're all tied. How do you choose what what do i win again a year supply of flex one lifetime supply we're gonna reach out to the sponsor and see if they'll honor this i i haven't spoken to them yet but i do their ads so they they're probably into it i will leave with nine points or distribute some so these guys have more points so that we're all tied and we need a tiebreaker do you have a tiebreaker question

yes i'm taking the nine i'm done have more points? So that we're all tied and we need a tiebreaker. Do you have a tiebreaker question? Yes. I'm taking the nine. I'm done. Hanford. Michael Hanford has won the hanky panky quiz. Congratulations, Mike. Thank you very much.

And congratulations to One Flex Condoms who's starring graphene. Starring. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys,

you go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. You probably checked it out, but you were tenuous about committing to the five. The five dollars that gets you double pleasure every week with The Sloppy Boys boys blow out the better show. And also what there is the monthly, the monthly bonus show questions for Lennon. That's right.

I I'm a subscriber. I highly recommend it. I listen. Did it add value to your life? It adds value to my life. I was thinking, I'm trying to come up with a pitch. I'm going to take out to,

to, uh, the sloppy boys network for a patreon show to add to the network oh yeah we need a hopeful slate maybe hey listen uh neil for real though i know that you know digman is on comedy central and now it's on it's streaming on paramount plus um if you ever kind of sour your relationship with either of those viacom outlets, we would be willing to talk to you about debuting, releasing episodes behind our Patreon paywall.

Yeah, sure. Let's do it. Okay. Oh, good. Great. Guys, I just want to say, hey, I know it's the holiday season. You kind of look back on the year. What do you appreciate? What are you thankful for? This was my favorite podcast. I'm so glad you guys let me come on

i listen to every episode you guys bring so much joy into my life uh thank you so much this is this is an honor to be on i know it's probably better without a guest but um no not true don't say that happy to be here and uh uh this is don, it may be better in this guest situation. We may have done better with a better guest, but yeah. Oh, sure, sure. Oh, yeah, I agree. Actually, he just made you

the sweetest compliment. And maybe it's the Frenette talking. I don't know, but... Yeah, and maybe, you know, me making a joke is something my therapist would talk about, but I'll leave that to...

I'll leave that to that team. How can you tell it's the Frenette talking and not the Vermouth or the gin? You can feel that coming right to the front. Because normally I have gin every night and I'm suave as can be. Suddenly I get this Fernette in me. Oh, you guys

are the best. Neil, we love you. You brought us holiday cheer. Everybody, for real, if you didn't have Comedy Central when Digman first came out, the thing about Paramount Plus, this is the hot shit right now. That's where I'm watching The Curse. They got the Jackass movies.

This is Paramount+. They got Yellowstone, The Dutton Show. A good movie library there? Not too bad. The Dutton Show. Jeff Dutton's favorite show. By the way, Tim's a writer on Digman. I mean, every writer contributes to every episode, but it's favorite show. And by the way, Tim's a writer on Digman.

I mean, every writer contributes to every episode, but it's super funny. Hanford, a voice on multiple episodes. Multiple voices. Hanford voices the character Billy the Met. That's true. That's true. Who I'm hoping takes a star turn in season two. Season 12, if we ever get there, is just only Billy the Met. It's a small mumblecore character study.

I'll keep my voice in tune for that character. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Neil, where can we find you, bud? I'm Neilerdude on Instagram, which is kind of the only thing I ever really look at at all in my entire life. How about your monthly show at the Elysian Theater in LA?

Yes, and Paul Rustin and I do a monthly show at the Elysian called Playhouse Masterpieces. Sometimes we live stream it. I think we're going to get back into some live streams in the new year. So be on the lookout for that. We always announce that either on Paul's Insta or mine or the Elysian.

So, yeah. Hell yeah. Thanks for coming, Neil Elysian. And so, yeah. Hell yeah. Thanks for coming, Neil. And hey. Wonderful. Thanks, dudes. Tim and Mike, where can we find you online? At Tim Kelpakis.

I got some of the funniest tweets on there. I'm at the Sloppy Boys. I'm at the Mike Hanford doing it right stylies on social medias. That's a long one. The Mike Hanford doing it right style. Social media. You know where to find me?

Mike Hanford. Find it. Yeah, at Jefferson. Give us a follow. Give us a follow and a like and a fucking share. Like and subscribe. Report and read. Rank and report.

Rank and report. Rank and report. Good episode, guys. Rank and pass. Yeah, good apps. See you next week, folks. Later. Bye.

Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.

Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.

Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.

Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Always