The Sloppy Boys - 172. Arnold Palmer with Nick Wiger

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

The guys welcome Doughboy Nick Wiger to slurp a non-alcoholic classic combining iced tea and lemonade.ARNOLD PALMER RECIPE:ICED TEA mostlyLEMONADE "a healthy splash"Add ice cubes to a glass. Pour in tea and use lemonade as a sweetener. Do not mix half-and-half.Keep the tea dominant-- using between 2/3 and 3/4 tea.Recipe via Arnold Palmer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hi. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And joining us today for this very special episode you know him you love him it's one of the hosts of the doughboys the burger boy himself nick weiger is here that's me happy to be here hey buddy thanks for making time for me we should play the uh burger boy theme song oh did mitch make that or did well jeff made it right, right? I made it. Yeah. Mitch had, that was very funny. Mitch would get the based on an idea by credit, uh, from the WGA. But he wrote, I mean, he wrote the lyrics too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but you know, this was, that was a lot of work from the shoe, shoe leather from, from Dutton and Van Art's day on. And Van Art's doing the animation. I remember though at the live show where he showed that. Where, where was the live show where he showed that? That was at the now shuttered ucb sunset that was our first ever doughboys live show that was i believe in 2017 might have been 2016 with

our guest fran gillespie at uh you know and we reviewed 7-11 for the first time oh yeah that must have been i think that was like episode 70 or something like that so it was you know relatively you all know how quickly podcast episodes stack up so it was relatively early in our run um but yeah that was a really strange thing because like a lot of people we just know including uh you know y'all were like just there and like just came to see the show which was you reach a certain point from doing like sketch shows and improv shows and stand-up and whatever it's just like how often do your friends show up to just like see you you know i mean like they're maybe there if they're doing another show just enjoy you they're just like yeah we're just here to watch i was like this is this is strange well i remember being a good show and like a weirdly like sentimental show and then at the

end of it yeah mitch turns to the screen and says and now i've made a video and when it ended you said something along the lines of like there's no fucking way you made it it's also i mean it's a very funny video but it's like pretty simple animation and stuff and still to be like there's no way you did that all right all right that's what we got with nick wagner here we don't have mike mitchell here we got love them as we do we got wags we got the wagiger here. We don't have Mike Mitchell here. We got, love him as we do. We got Weigs.

We got the Weig man. Happy to be here. What a treat. We love you. Weig man, we go way back to, we were in a sketch group called the Birthday Boys. That's right. Weiger was in a sketch group called A Kiss From Daddy. We were paired up for four years-ish.

We would each do a new half hour every month and the two groups were best friends and it was a magical time in our lives it really was wild time that was really fun and one of those groups ended up having a tv show which is pretty silly something that's nice um but that's nice to remind us thank you thank you that was uh my my my old sketch group but kiss from daddy i think we've referenced it on the dough boys podcast uh but it's it's it'd be funny if you didn't remember 300 episodes it's possible it has not come up but um but you know it was it was a did a whole bunch of people that you you know from from randy comedy and from doing other podcasts it was me uh eva anderson um neil campbell uh paul rust uh dave horwitz

mookie blake lock um harris michael cassidy and then uh harris whittles r.i.p it was the nine of us alan mcleod alan mcleod as well yes i said i said nine of us but only i only named seven people so of course that was a the um uh that's that's the eighth one alan mcleod yeah molasses boy himself the eighth wonder of the world we used to call him molasses boy which is right like the funny like the weird funniest weirdest sketches uh and then i'm looking back on him it's like i can't believe we did a sketch where it was like alan mLeod was playing a mafia guy who was being interrogated by the cops trying to pass a polygraph. And the way he got through all the polygraph questions was by asking himself in his brain, back to the future trivia.

That's the weirdest concept. Weirdest specific. No, I think it's really relatable naturally inspired I remember one time he had a sketch where it was like he was playing you're gonna have to help me with this but he was playing murder she

wrote was that the show that's right yeah murder sure yeah he was playing the son of the creator so he was calling himself Murder, She Wrote's little son. Yeah. It was a song, too, I think. He did have a song, and I can't remember if it was Murder, She Wrote's little son or Murder, She Wrote's junior or something like that,

but his name was Murder, She Wrote something. It was just like this weird guy. He'd go, I'm Murder, She Wrote's son. What the fuck is going on? Audiences will eat it up. Like what is comedy? That's insane. God bless him.

A fun fact about me. When I was a kid, my parents, my parents and grandparents would watch murder. She wrote. And my grandmother looked close enough to Angela Lansbury that I thought my grandmother had a television show. Wow.

That's awesome. Grandma's on TV. Did you ever broach this with her or were you just like process it as a little kid and just keep it to yourself? No, I was like, wow, grandma's got a TV show and my parents are like, sorry, what? And we parsed it out and they laughed at me, Nick.

That's great. It's amazing when you're a kid, you would just take that to be uh the the case and i was just talking to uh dave ferguson was showing me pictures of his son oliver at disneyland and he was hugging all the characters and all of us at that age were like he was hugging mickey mouse and it was a cute picture and i was like so so he thinks like he doesn't know that's just a mascot he he thinks that's like the real mickey mouse and Dave's like, yeah, he like believes that's Mickey mouse. And I was like, Dave's son is 15, by the way.

He's like, he thinks that's the real Mickey mouse. And I was like, oh, that's cute. And then I was like, but he thinks it's a mouse. Like, yeah, right. Even just that big mouse. That's weird. Yeah. I saw this guy in a cartoon and now i'm naturally seeing him in person

and he's a big mouse yeah he's not as flat in real life yeah who wears clothes and i gotta hug him yeah you gotta hug him and he's probably gonna eat some cheese later i love him i love him i'm in love with him i have to hug him now dad uh i'm glad though that there's that that's a kid who does hug the mascot because i feel like every kid loves mickey mouse loves mickey mouse and then they see mickey mouse and then the parents have to like push the shy child towards the mascot oh yeah just going from what nick's talking about like here's the guy you see on tv all the time and now he's right in front of your face i'd be like yeah if you saw if you saw what you thought was the real bugs bunny

walking down the street like i don't want to touch him for sure like i love him but i don't want to touch no i experienced that when the we saw the ninja turtles at disney i don't know what they were doing there um you what this was this was at a time when like the rights were such that like the ninja turtles were there and like there was like they had they were signing autographs for the kids and i was like how were how were the costumes were they like shitty or kind of okay because they've been to me they looked as good as the movie but like at the time they were like i'm sure they were shitty but whatever i to me i was just like oh wow it's it's michelangelo and rafael or whatever and leonardo my favorite donatello he does machines and my parents were like go get their autographs because we they were signing little autograph books and i got too shy

i didn't do it yeah of course There's autographs would be really worth something now. God would. Yeah. I mean, those guys are stayed famous. So I got a little autograph book when I went to Disney World as a kid and I still have it somewhere. And I was getting autographs, Chip and Dale, Goofy, one of my faves, the big hitters. And then there was this cop that was just kind of like chasing a robber around. there was like this little scene they were doing around people and stuff and his name was warren peace which i didn't understand at the time and he took my he's like oh yeah i'll sign your thing and he signed it like a couple times on a page and like did a couple pages really fast and i was like no you can't do that he's wasting pages and like i you know if i look through there's probably maybe an eighth of the pages were used the

whole trip yeah those books are like 200 pages long yeah i like that exact this is fine if chip or dale wants to do this but yes yeah war and peace i don't know you when i went to disney world as like i want to say it must have been like seven or eight or something like that we did the breakfast with the characters yes are you familiar with this i've been just like it's like a lunch or like a breakfast buffet and breakfast club is about stop yeah i think so um chip or dale not sure which one comes up to our table he's goofing around? This guy in the suit grabs the syrup dispenser and jokes of pouring syrup on my head. And actually pours syrup on my head. Holy shit.

That's nice. Right before a long, hot day at Disney World. Doing a weird prank. And again, my parents thought it was so funny it was clearly a mistake and he did the thing where he puts his hands over his head and he's like oh no and then they were like it's fine it's fine and then we did have to go back to the hotel and they had to like hose me down before we went out for the day it's not fun it's not funny son is all sticky but like what an overreach to be like i'm gonna pretend to pour

syrup on a kid's head yes yeah it's probably it's maybe a stunt he's done before and then he just just did want something went awry yeah you hear like inside the mask he's like who's fucking filling these things up so much they shouldn't be filled too high um i don't know if you guys saw but uh our friend mike mitchell just uh texted us he's paranoid he said the four of you together go easy on me boys so he knows and he's self-conscious that we're gonna roast him what type of dish what dirt could we well we roasted him about the idea of him making that Burger Boy video. We did already make fun of him. So, I guess. I don't think we need

to step back to that. We kind of already did. Yeah, fuck that guy. Hey! Yeah, don't talk to me on the podcast. Don't talk about me, the protagonist of reality. We're not all obsessed with you, Mitch. You guys want to get into some booze news? Oh, shit.

Let's do it. Oh, hell yeah. Bib, bib, bib, bib, bib, booze news. Hit it. Mezcal. What's up? Back once again. I'm so booze News. And so Booze News was sent to us by Henry Johnston.

And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com. Where was that tequila thing from? That was from a live show. That was us in Raleigh, North Carolina. We kept singing tequila. Oh, yeah, because people would bring tequila shots up and we'd be singing that. And it was too long. We were like,

ba-da-ba-da-da-da-da-da. It takes like 40 seconds to get to the tequila part every time we did a shot. Three people you're paying to see drink your booze. We really pulled a trick on the live audience there. Hey, you can bring us shots if you want oh god cool um here's the top story in booze news uh uh guys we've got company we got a little

competition because uh do you watch a lot of fox nation of course course. Not a lot, but it's my main news source. I remember it took us three days to watch the Rob Schneider stand-up special. Yeah, we did subscribe. We did a free trial so we could watch Rob Schneider. We subscribed at Hanford's house and he was like, oh, do we have to log in on my house? How long is this special? An hour.

Normal length. Yeah, an hour. I forget how it ends. It ends in a really funny way. He goes through all of his characters that he does in Sandler movies at one point. Of course. It was called like Woke Up in America. Which is true.

Anyway, if you watch Fox Nation, there's a new show coming out. Get ready for Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi, John Lovitz, Kevin Nealon, George Wendt. Hit the clip, Jeff. You and a bottle of rum. The beverages that drove the world. Beer, wine, spirits, tea, coffee, and soda. It is the American dream.

I need more than just one sip. Tell you what, this is very manly. Oh, very, tea, coffee, and soda. It is the American drink. I need more than just one sip. Tell you what, this is very manly. Oh, very, very manly. Let's drink our faces. I never take two lumps before dinner. It ruins the appetite. Can I give you some feedback as a bartender? You suck.

Yep. It's called History of the World in Six Glasses, which is a book about alcohol history. But guys, it's a bunch of comedy dudes sitting around, drinking the drinks and kind of being funny while they're drinking the drinks.

Well, how long? They're doing how many episodes? Six drinks? Yeah. We got 172 episodes. So it's a numbers game. That's right. They've got us in quality, but we got them in quantity. When we started this podcast, I remember you guys came to my office and were like,

hey, we got this idea for the podcast. And I turned around in my high back chair. I was like, OK, I'm listening. You told me. I was like, OK, this is going to be a numbers game. You said, we're comfortable with this. I said, great. Then let's, well, I'm going to put my guys on this. Let's do it. Did you know that these guys are all conservative guys? That's the, okay. So first off, these episodes are like an hour long, which I'm surprised by.

But the other thing is like, yeah, I don't think i maybe love it all the way i i think of all these guys is kind of apolitical and i wonder if it's more just like well their demographic they they've just kind of done the the the research of like the demographics of fox nation subscribers line up with the kind of you know a boomer audience for you know a cheers cast member and and a couple of of yeah blues brothers you know i i don't know and, and a couple of, of Blues Brothers, you know, I, I don't know. That's, that's, it's a fascinating pairing though. Cause you could see this show. Blues Brothers 2000 also. Right. Blues Brothers 2000, of course.

No, I think that was, that was John Goodman. Sorry. There would have been a, like, it's cause this show could, it seems like, unless there's, there's some weird political stuff that it gets into when it's talking about like beer and and wine and uh and tea in their relation to american culture i this this feels like a show that could just be on like what ms or not msnbc but like you know a discovery channel or something right yeah right history channel maybe yeah and but it is uh i'm trying to think though uh love it's you're right wasn't there something with victoria jackson she got very so victoria jackson is in like became insanely right wing uh she's like a q person yeah she's like a q person but like even pre-trump she had gone like very right wing conspiracy theorist. Oh, wow. And I remember that from like the 2012 campaign.

Even Victoria Jackson was very far right by then. It's funny when you're already like a kooky groundling who talks all kooky and stuff. And then you kind of lose your mind. And it's like, oh, yeah, well, that makes sense. Off you go. Off you go. Here's a mic. Well, anyway, this is our our competition so we got to make sure we beat him and mike you opened for kevin nealon on tour no i did i did i uh not on tour i did a couple shows

with him uh sort of spaced out but his crowd if it's the crowd that would listen to this i could see why they did not like me very much. The crowds. How can anyone not like you? That's what I said. That's what I kept pleading to them. That's what I said. Into the mic. How can you not like me? I have a friend,

a very funny standup, Dave Thomason, who opened for, I think you'll be okay with me telling this story, but opened for Andrew Dice Clay back in the day. Wow uh dave is an extremely funny guy very funny stand-up just great joke writer but a dice man told him beforehand uh you gotta work clean and because dice clay's act is so dirty that he doesn't want someone to go out and do dirty stuff ahead of time. But his audience is all there to see

the raunchiest, nastiest jokes. He's going up there and having to do a clean set to a bunch of drunk 60-year-olds who are there to hear filthy limericks. It's an impossible sort of scenario.

What a weird request. He just wants his opener to bomb and make him look good i guess yeah it's so it's so wild i gotta do some i gotta make some uh do some more lyrics limericks in my act more than you already have i feel like that's the thing where it's just like i'll do some some dirty limits i i mean i have i have a bit i've that's the thing where it's just like, I'll do some, I love some dirty limits. I, I had a, I mean, I have a,

I have a bit I've done the, the monster fuck. That's just like, it's just like the dumbest, God bless you. But it's just like the dumbest grossest, like it wasn't even like meant to be like, ha ha.

This is what I think is funny. It was just like, Hey, this is like a extremely, an excuse to do extremely filthy, like song parody with some context. And people could not love it more and i'm just like it's just like oh well count me in with that group

but i think if you and that's the sort of thing where if you start doing filthy limericks you just start integrating that into that act people would like love it so much and then you just be the filthy limerick guy there are certain like live comedy things that i'll remember because like the whole room was laughing i've done i've been in the room for comedy bang bang on halloween when you've done it and it's like even though everyone knows the lyrics and the stuff is like how many years have you done this now like 11 something like that yeah that sounds right it's like if you're in the room people are dying laughing who had already heard it it's the funniest thing and why the way you do it wiger

is so funny because you're so pissed off for some reason you really relish that f um fuck what's the what's the singer's name again uh leo carpacci is the character yeah is that the real it is a real guy i misspelled his name but it's a real guy it's the actual writer of the monster yeah but it's like he's so like he's like oh i'm just gonna say something and he's so angry at it so if so folks go watch it if you haven't seen it god bless you i did we had a special show where we did like a switch cast where the birthday boys did a kiss from daddy sketches and a kiss from daddy did birthday boys yeah that's right yeah that was great i did the monster fuck and like you know normally you do this you maybe have your own take but i just i did leo carpazzi i did an impression of

nick and i did that song and it fucking killed it was kind of like the best feeling and then the worst feeling where i walked off like that's the best i've ever done in my life and then i was in the green room like oh no that's the best i've ever done in my life. And then I was in the green room like, oh no, that's the best I've ever done in my life. You were great. I remember that. That's very funny. But I didn't, like, I just did it word for word exactly. And I was trying to be you and the audience liked it. I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. I feel like you had kind of your own spin on it, whether it was intentional or not. Maybe I rocked the house. Yeah, I think you were great. Thank you. But but yeah that sort of thing can absolutely be a a trap um i i i i'm fascinated by this show i'm fascinated that that it's on fox nation i kind of do want to watch

it because if it is just a straight ahead these guys just like you know yucking it up and not doing anything political anything political it would i don't know that this could actually be interesting if there's some real information in this about the history of spirits yeah or or the and not doing anything political. I don't know. This could actually be interesting if there's some real information in this about the history of spirits. Yeah, or the other side of it could just be cringy enough to be like, ooh, this is interesting.

That's true, too, yeah. Oh, it's going to be not fun. Or maybe it's just right down the middle. But, like, Fox Nation has to have some semi-normal stuff, right? Like, they can't all be, like, Hunter Biden documentaries. Yeah.

Hunter Bunter. Hunter Bunter. Hunter Bunter, yeah. This is, I know we're not going to do this too much, Jeff. This is not on video, but I want to talk about Nick's setup here on the video screen. Sure. If you're familiar with the album, Elliot Smith album, Either Or. I'm going to look it up right now.

The way your room is lit reminds me of that interesting yeah i can see this he's he's standing in front of like a mirror or something with a bunch of squiggly lines on it but it's uh it still has that three ambers nick and elliot are very similar in their work yeah yeah for sure i think it's the background too kind of makes me think that all right we're not talking about visuals this This is the audio. No. Well, hold on, Nick. I got to ask about the keyboard behind you. You playing, you tickling them Ivories?

Yeah. I haven't been, I haven't been, you know, advertising this too much, but yes, I have been like trying, I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano. And so I've been kind of doing some, some, I started before the new year. I started sort of. Nice. I messed around with it back in the day and I used to do, I used to play woodwinds and I did some music theory in high school.

So I, I, we should teach us. I remember some of that stuff. Like I remember like figured bass and you know, like the, all the, the standard chord progressions and shit.

But I, but like a lot of it's like kind of exited my brain, but I have some piano knowledge just from that, but never really how to like play a piece on my own so yeah that that has been a thing i've been getting more into that's awesome are you getting uh lessons from a person or just like looking on no i'm i'm not but i i've i've thought about it i i'm just like sort of watching video instruction and then like just going through books honestly like just doing exercises in books like i already i because i know how to do yeah i know how to read music so that's like a huge like leg up is that i i can kind of just like read what i'm supposed to do and and a lot of it is just figuring out like what are how am i supposed to um you know position my

hands and when do i tuck my thumb underneath my middle finger or whatever. But a lot of that stuff just comes from practicing scales and shit. So yeah, it's fun. It's fun to learn new skills. Damn. That's great. We're going to, at the end of this episode,

we're going to have Nick play hot cross buns, a jazz. Elliot Smith spin on jazz it up. Why? Dazzle us. Okay. Is that it for booze news? Wrap it up. That that it for booze news wrap it up that's it for booze news love that sting anyone video game yeah that was from that's from punch out don't punch out yeah

yeah yeah i knew nick would have it knew nick would have it oh is that when when uh the guy's riding the bike behind you and you're jogging? No, that's a different song. I think this is the song that plays either on victory or maybe when you win an entire circuit. Like if you advance from minor circuit to major circuit. Okay, yeah, that one was just called You Win. But you might also be thinking of this one called Title Bout. Oh, yeah.

Good tune. Got it. So that one's got a little more juice behind it. Man, that like snare, that... Yeah, that's called like pink noise or something. White noise, pink noise, yeah. Yeah. That reminds me so much of Double Dragon.

Oh, sure. Oh. That like when they walk in. Yeah. Do you guys listen to white noise when you sleep i've never done that no i've never gotten into it how about you i do it i've been listening on spotify i'll play like 10 hours of box fan and um and it's like uh very soothing but sometimes i put it too loud and i wake up in the middle of night like ah my brother and sister-in-law sleep with uh a giant fan in the room that's like always on high blast i'll walk by their room to go to the bathroom it's like wow have you seen those things

that's like it's like a white noise maker but it's not a speaker it's like an actual mechanical thing that is like spinning inside of a yeah so it's it's creating like white noise but it's not a speaker. It's like an actual mechanical thing that is like spinning inside of a... Yeah, so it's creating like white noise, but there's something like moving inside of an orb or whatever. It's not an electronic white noise. It's almost like a fan. I see.

Analog. Nick, are you playing Fortnite at all? No. I have played Fortnite in the past. I don't keep up with it. Do y'all play at all nick i thought you were anti-fortnite i i can't say man so here's what happened is that um uh my co-hosts of of get played my my video game podcast uh heather and campbell and matt apodaca compelled

me to play fortnite for the podcast and i'd like think it was like haha we're gonna trick him into now he's gotta now he's gotta do it that he's got to do it. That shows him. And I loved it. I had a lot of fun with it. It's a really fun game. It's a really impressive design. It's just like, it's not for me. Cause I don't play games to like competitive and like,

I'm going to try to beat everyone. I want to win this online match. Like it's just like, but as, as one of those goes and it's such an amazing sense of fun and as great art direction that i really really enjoyed my time with it i just got a ps5 a couple about a month ago and i'm into this fortnight game mike and i've been playing zero build have you oh yeah are you doing yeah zero

builds kind of the way to go it's the way to go i mean i have two nephews who are um you know both both around teenage age uh one's a little younger and they both play fortnight pretty much every night and when i talked to them they were like they were like we only play build they didn't understand what no build was what zero build was and i sort of realized that it's like oh that's it's for older people yeah it's easier it's easier because if you're young it's like yeah of course you can pick up this incredible like added layer to the game but if you're if you're older it's just it's just too much. And they're like Minecraft generation.

I miss that. 100%. Yeah, they grew up playing that on iPads. Wait, let me ask you this one. We're on this Fortnite tangent. Which skins do you play with? I just have the Christmas tree. That's fun.

I got it around Christmas tree, whatever the new season is, and that's the one I got. I'm doing Ninja Turtles, Darth Vader, Wolverine, the Brat. The Brat the one i got i'm doing ninja turtles darth vader wolverine the brat the brat's one of the fun like fortnight skins he's a hot he's like a big hot dog yeah do you uh oh like so like the brat brought so it's like kind of a yeah yeah that's fine the brat i thought you're talking about dub rat that's what i thought too which would not be implausible if the brat was in fortnight because there's the weekends you got ariana grande in there what are you doing what are are you rocking, Wags?

So I haven't played for a long time. The last time I played, though, I had Giannis Antetokounmpo, the NBA MVP. The Greek freak! That's right! Name checked in our Smashing the Plates song. That's right. Wow. I remember that was

funny when that song came out, and I think Neil Campbell or maybe Ferguson texted the three of us was like, you guys don't know who that is. We did a live show in Milwaukee. We've done a few live shows in Milwaukee. And I assume you all have you all played Milwaukee? We know we were going to. We had great crowds there. But we I i was like okay we're in milwaukee mitch uh has sometimes is has trouble like pronouncing words so i was like i'm i know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna put i'm gonna write yannis's name out and make him say yannis's name

in front of a uh milwaukee crowd and we're gonna this will be fun. And he looks over at my laptop before I get to the bit and he says, why do you have Giannis Antetokounmpo's name written out? And I said like, wait, so you just nailed that? Like, you know. You're a fucking buffoon. He's probably yelling. Yeah, he's yelling about this guy all the time

to his Boston friends. Of course. Yeah, yeah. This fucking guy. Right, because the Celtics are good too, so they're probably playing a lot. Are they in the same division? They're in the same. They're both in the Eastern Conference, so yeah, they are

rivals. Nice. You gotta love that. Well, with booze news shrinking into the rear view, we turn our attention now to the drink of the day, Weiger. I love it. And as we get toward that drink of the day, let's see. Yeah, it's not here yet.

It's coming towards us. It's on the horizon. In the rear view, we got booze, booze, and on the horizon, we're in this kind of weird little zone here. If you really squint, you can see the drink of the day. This is our dry January episode. We're recording at the very end of January. It's going to drop in right at the buzzer. January episode. We're recording at the very end of January. It's going to drop in right at the buzzer. Um, but, um, we wanted Weiger on cause we were like, that's a, that's a guy that we know

who has gone through some, uh, heavy shit, non-drinking periods. The guy's drinking a liquid death right now. So this is a guy that guy that we know historically he's gone through some non-drinking, but then I also remember Weiger. I remember one time really early days at the birthday boy's house where we were talking about how many beers do you think you drank in your life? And you said, I probably had 5,000 beers in my life. So that means I know that you're not a non-drinker overall.

At one point in your life, you drank a 5,000 beers, and you're currently doing a dry January. What's your whole relationship to alcohol? Yeah, I mean, it is like, and I imagine anyone who drinks regularly kind of has this sort of love-hate sort of thing with booze. Just trying to get into this mindset, Nick. Just trying to imagine this type of person.

Keep going. Hypothetical. But there's times when it's just like i i really do it like i am i'm like this is like the most fun or like i use this to relax or come down at the end of a stressful day and it kind of feels like oh this is like a thing i look forward to and a thing i enjoy and then there are other times that i'm just like i am regularly overindulging or i'm using this to avoid dealing with what's really troubling me in my life. Or I've just habituated myself to like drinking a full bottle of wine every night.

Or for a time earlier in my life, when I when I talked about drinking 5000 beers, it was like a much sadder version of Wilt Chamberlain's bragging his memoir. It was like a much sadder version of Wilt Chamberlain's bragging his memoir. I was regularly. He drank 6,000 beers. I slept with 10,000 beers. I had a, no, I had a stretch where I was like, I've talked about this on Doughboys, but like, you know, I was really depressed and i was working this shitty job and uh testing video games and answering customer support uh answering a phone calls from angry parents at the end of my shift i would go to 7-eleven and i would get a a 40 ounce of mickey's uh fine malt liquor and i drink that like every night to the point where the guy working there started calling

me mickey man he'd be like and then that went on for long enough where he's calling me mickey man he's all he started adding hey mickey man hey be careful all right you're young guy i gotta stop doing this but i i was like wait hold on in the same era weren't you also starting the day with the snickers bar breakfast yeah so that was also just every part of my life was was not working for me like i was also yeah my breakfast would be a um vending machine snickers bar a vending machine uh mountain dew code red and a vending machine black coffee i'd have i'd have that at the start of my shift vending machine coffee that's i think the weirdest one of the group it was real nasty it was real nasty break room shit uh so but so okay so i've

had that i've also had eras where i was just like, I was regularly drinking like just like beer every night, you know? Um, right now what I've been doing in recent years, I think everything was actually probably going pretty well until the pandemic. And then the pandemic, my drinking got just like terrible, uh, to the point where I just was like, I might have to quit forever. Um, but what I, what I've ended up doing is finding ways to mitigate that, just finding sort of, you know, just a lot of it for me is just like habituating myself in different ways, finding things like, you know, I end my day with a cup of tea as opposed to, you know, a glass of wine, things like that. But the dry months have also helped me. I've done, dry January has been, i've done this i

think three years in a row now um and uh you know i also did sober october in 2023 i like kind of having these these sort of things because it's very the days start taking off very quickly and you pretty like easily accustom yourself or at least i do it i can't i can't speak for everybody i pretty easily accustom myself to like oh wait yeah i can get by without this and i notice things like how much better my sleep is which is the main thing the sleep isn't the sleep the sleep is huge i've had so many bad nights of sleep and i know i'm rambling here but um one more please one more thing i'll say ticking away the time the the the in 2022 yeah two years ago i did i did dry january and then i just was like well i'll just keep this going and it just kind of kept going and i extended it for february i was like

oh let's keep going and i ended up doing six months with no alcohol wow and it was finally january it was finally july uh fourth weekend and ellie and i my my lovely wife had a planned vacation in vegas and we were there and it was like night two and we were at like a nice steakhouse for dinner. And I was like, should I have a wine? She's like, you can have a wine if you want. And not, not, not persuading me one way or the other. And I was like, all right, sure. And I had a glass of wine and let me tell you that sip of wine was the best thing I ever drank in my life. This is so good. I love this. I never want to not be doing this.

It was crazy how immediately I was like, every reason I had to stop just went out the window. I don't want to sleep. This is so good. This is so funny to be like, I would rather be in a different state than I am naturally. But I mean, I think that's a lot of people. Remember when we were in Vegas together, like on a comedy bang bang writer's trip?

Oh, yeah. And Nick, you were on that trip, right? No, I wasn't there for that, no. Is this somebody's bachelor party? Well, we ate at Carnevino, like a steakhouse where we had wine and stuff. But then, Mike, remember,

you were always doing an impression of the, the guy was like, can I carve your steak, sir? Yeah. It was a big, a rich, big,

rich restaurant for me. Big, rich restaurant. May I carve your steak? May I put some of your steak in my mouth? May I chew your steak? May I put some of your steak in my mouth? May I chew the steak? Okay, so those are the liquids that you drink.

In previous Dry Januaries, we did an episode about O'Doul's, and then we've done a Shirley Temple. And then this time, we wanted to pick another big classic that everybody knows. It is a non-alcoholic beverage. And it is called the Arnold Palmer you've had. That's right. I've had. Yeah. I love Arnold Palmers.

I think that's like if I'm going to get something, honestly, I'd rather have it than like a soda or a sweet tea in in most sort of restaurant scenarios there's certain contexts where i'd like i'd want a fountain soda like in a movie or something like this but like yeah i love an arnold palmer and also as i've gotten less into sweet less of a sweet tooth as i've gotten older like it's just sort of like you know the the the amount of bitterness you're getting from the tea really cuts the lemonade in a way. Whereas I don't know if I could drink a full lemonade anymore. Yeah.

No way. Full strength lemonade. It feels like drinking a full Coke or something. For sure. Yeah, just ordering a lemonade would be a weird thing as an adult. So wait, I recall on Doughboys, wasn't there a thing where you make your Arnold Palmer in a you make your arnold palmer in a specific way you got your own ratio that you like yes okay so this is i i the arnold palmer exists i have claimed to be the inventor of the nick weiger which to me is like the perfected arnold palmer how about the arnold weiger arnold weiger is pretty good that's not yeah go ahead

but it's just not that like that's pretty good It's not what the thing he likes to do. So the, but here's the thing. There is some controversy here because the Arnold Palmer I always knew was 50-50. Right. In fact, I've even seen it called a 50-50 on some menus. Right. When I worked at a golf course snack bar, it was like the middle of the golf course.

We sold 50-50s and not Arnold Palmer's. I mean, people would ask for Arnold Palmer, but it was on the menu as 50-50. Yeah. That movie 50-50

is about an Arnold Palmer, right? That's right. Yeah. I'm sure there's Arnold Palmer's in that movie. I think every, yeah. So I've been like, I like it more like

two-thirds tea and one-third lemonade. I think that ratio is better. But then a lot of people, and I think this is the case with the recipe we're going to be discussing, have said that the original Arnold Palmer recipe is that and that it's been corrupted over time. My argument is that linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive. Words mean what they mean, not what we intend them to mean so if arnold palmer has come to mean a 50 50 iced tea lemonade then then we need something else to take the place of a two-third one-third iced tea lemonade ratio and that to me is the nick weiger or the uh

the nick palmer if you will wow i like that we will we. Well, let me give you a little history on the Arnold Palmer. Now that we know where the Nick Weiger comes from, the Arnold Palmer. Here's the thing. He's from Latrobe, Pennsylvania. And one day after golfing, he got home and his wife always made iced tea. And he said, honey, I got an idea. Give me some of that iced tea you make. but this time top it with a splash of lemonade. And she did it and he loved it.

So then that became his drink. And then he would always order it at restaurants. And yeah, he would say an iced tea and then sweeten it with lemonade. And then one day he was in Palm Springs and he was there to like open a golf course or something and he ate at a restaurant and he ordered his iced tea and lemonade the way he always does and then a lady saw him drinking that and said to the waitress

hey I'll have an Arnold Palmer and then everyone started ordering them so booze the name sticks it spreads all over the place and then this drink I got the recipe from webarchive.org. Perfect. That's my homepage.

This is written weird. Very weird. Uh, Palmer's own recipe is mostly iced tea plus a healthy splash of lemonade, add ice cubes into a glass and use the lemonade as a sweetener for the tea. That's how Palmer himself does it. He does not mix half and half. He keeps the tea as the sweetener for the tea. That's how Palmer himself does it. He does not mix half and half. He keeps the tea as the dominant part of the drink,

about 75% tea, at least two thirds tea. That's what, there's a 30 for 30 short specifically about this drink. And he always, he never, he's like very forgiving about whether it's a quarter or a third. He's like about a third, 30%, but a third, but you know about whether it's a quarter or a third he's like about a third 30 percent but a third but you know it could be a quarter so we're talking we're talking he's like it's fucking lemonade let's talk about golf you would think you would just pick pick one or the other it's funny to be like about a third but it could be a quarter but it's okay that'd be funny

to find out like i don't know anything about arnold palmer but that he's you know a big golf guy if like his attitude his like personality was that like very wishy-washy and didn't like he played golf great but in his real life he's like i don't know we could have this or that uh the i watched that 30 for 30 and it's like a short it's not a full-length thing but i um did not care for it because there's like some art department is like i wanted like some actual history of this beverage and so much of it is like will arnett like doing a bit doing comedy yeah he like it's like will arnett like makes one but it's like all him just like you know mugging to the camera and stuff and i'm just like that i didn't sign up for this you don't go to 30 for 30 for this take that shit to smartless yeah

i love it over there well let's let's get it let's have make a decision together a quorum should we because this same article said and then the 50 50 split is has become the more popular uh accepted palmer so guys do we want to do arnold palmer's original aka the nick weiger recipe and see what that's like and then maybe in round two we experiment with with the 50 50 or do we start with the big popular 50 50 in the tweak from there hmm i think since we have weiger on, we do the Weiger Palmer. That way we're drinking a drink we like. That's what I want to drink. I love it.

Alright folks, we're going to go make these drinks and when we come back, for sips. And we're back! Arnold Palmer slash Nick Weigers in hand. Big boys. Jeff's got a little lime or lemon on it. Very nice. I should have gotten a garnish.

That's where I dropped the ball. I was feeling proud of myself, but I didn't get a garnish. I was looking for mint today. I was looking for mint. Well, Nick, you got ice, didn't you? I did get ice. Hey, bought a bag. I was stunned to hear you were like, hey, do I need ice? I don't keep ice around the house. What? We've become an ice-free household. Is it like an environmentalist thing? No, it's a combination of just a lack of freezer space and that also like neither of us really likes ice all that much so you're like heat miser i wouldn't go that far i like it like a chilled drink but i don't need it i don't need like ice cold damn yeah i want to i

want to frame this question somewhat delicately but is there is the lack of uh freezer space due to anything severed i i know you uh keep sort of an odd uh social uh personal life right no mike okay okay so there's no nothing no dead bodies in that freezer um did you guys expect your drinks we all they mixed together right away i was hoping we'd have some two-tone effects here but yeah plopped right in no yeah it really kind of just naturally melded i did some stirring but they want to be together that's the thing that's a great point they belong together we all used unsweetened tea, correct? That's correct. Correct.

No, I had sweet tea. I snuck a little honey. Well, let's get into it. Let's do sips first, then we'll talk about it. Oh, baby. Damn. Ooh, wow. Damn. That is really in the spot. That is really, really refreshing. That's a good drink yeah

it's a drink that i i forget about and i need to order it more when i go isn't that a line in the sopranos i swear somebody orders an all an arnold palmer and then somebody maybe paulie is like it never occurs to me to order those yeah i'm like paulie oh so good yeah this is this is great uh what what uh i did use sweet tea i had this gold peak uh gold peak tea i don't know i'm just looking at it i'm sorry made with cane shirt gold peak everybody i used what's that popular tea brand? Like gold leaf, green leaf or whatever. The unsweetened one. Oh, yeah.

There's pure leaf. Pure leaf. Pure leaf, I think, is one of them. Maybe that's, but there is gold. What's the one you got, Hanford? Gold Peak. P-E-A-K. Cold Peak, yeah.

I think they sometimes get conflated. Yeah, that's because I thought I was getting the one you were talking about, Tim. And then Santa Cruz, I get the organic lemonade on this one. Wait a minute. That's just juice, or is that lemonade? Limeade? What is that? It's lemon juice.

This is fucking limeade. God damn it, Mike. Mike, you fucked up a two-ingredient drink. You're so confident. I get this lemonade. The fuck is this lemonade? I do it in my hand. You're the victim here, yeah. Damn.

Well, I was trying to, in 2024, not have this persona on the podcast where I'm a dunderhead, someone who cannot remember to do things correctly. And here we are. I'm going to take a sip, though, because I've never had limey. I got the same. I did get lemonade, but I got the same organic lemonade brand, Santa Cruz.

Oh, Santa Cruz. I got the Santa Cruz organic lemon juice, and I had to make my own lemonade this morning with simple syrup and water. Wow. Jesus. I'll tell you what. I brewed up some lipton black also that's that's this little tea jug look at that i love that i will i will say for a simple drink i fucked i bought the wrong thing and then you would have made like this we've we've taken off the rails it's a very simple drink to make uh one thing i will say i just had a swig of this lemonade brand which i'm not familiar with i don't normally get this but this is what sprouts my grocery store had

it's not as sweet as some other lemonades um maybe it's because it's it's it's or maybe just feels that way because it's it's with uh made with cane sugar instead of corn syrup but it's it's like i i think that actually helps this this construction of the arnold palmer that it's not like an overly sweetened lemonade like like a minute made uh would be bad like that type of yeah like a country time for sure same same principle yeah what about a paul newman i think a newman's own could absolutely newman's own yeah yeah that could be a different drep arnold palmer could be a paul or newman well okay so i have this other thing and i might not crack it open because maybe i'll just save it

but i wanted to have it for the pod because i was drinking liquid death uh you know just just regular sparkling earlier but i have the i do i'm a fan of the liquid death armless palmer oh i saw that today at target wags which is being rebranded because they got they there was a fear of litigation so it's being rebranded as the liquid death dead billionaire um but this one is a uh which i know i also don't like he was it was arnold palmer a billionaire he wasn't right i don't think so billion this should call it the dead golfer there you go like i get it but i don't get it you know because it's kind of like, ha ha, dead billionaire. That's funny.

But it's also like, but that's not connected to what the drink was. That was probably also like a protective thing to be like, well, he wasn't a billionaire, so we're not talking about him. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyway, all that is said, the branding aside, I do think this drink is really is a really good execution of the Arnold Palmer. And it's one with only 30 calories which i like and if you get but if you sometimes get like that that big boy arizona iced tea that's a prefab one um the light can be okay but the heavy is like so caloric that i can't have that regularly and that's got the man's name and signature on it that's right oh yeah yeah

that's right oh that's i'm sure that's what it was guys i got one of those cans in my very fridge the light one i'm gonna i'm gonna crack it in a few minutes my mom my mom every once in a while would bring back one of those big like gallon jugs of that stuff yeah but back from the grocery store i was like this is great we got we can drink this all week yeah it's what i i you know sometimes the pre-made ones don't really work but with this drink maybe because it's just so simple or maybe because the two chemically, the two things mix so naturally, it does work well if it's a candor bottle. It's good. It's good.

It's great drink. How perfect is it that the, the boozy version of this drink with vodka in it, they call it the John Daly, John Daly. Very clever. And that's, it's perfect. Yeah. It's like another golfer. And he, I didn't, I mean,fer and he i didn't i mean i knew he

was like a drinker but that's he specifically he would drink a bottle of vodka every day intense and and golf that's funny i was gonna ask like if you were to add liquor to this what would it be and vodka seems like the go-to well yeah there's also you know seagram's makes that like sweet tea vodka so lots of people do that with lemonade. That's a very like 2005. Yeah. Little echo in my brain. Right.

I remember they served that at Bird's. Right. I was thinking gin. Gin, I would think too, would go well in this. But like whiskey might with like kind of a whiskey sourish type of thing. That's what I was thinking because the tea tea, it kind of, and maybe, maybe just cause they're both Brown, maybe,

but I was like thinking like a bourbon or something or like a rye could work in there. If I did that, I would probably do a straight half and half with this and then add the bourbon. Oh, that's smart. So give a little more sweetness to it.

Smart. Damn. Limeade. But I don't ever get, I don't ever get the boozy arnold palmer i don't ever get the john daly because for me mixing caffeine and alcohol makes me feel insane like i just oh sure i can't do that it's it's disorienting no espresso martinis no i can't do it no for local no for local crazy for if we mentioned one and you're like, oh yeah,

I drink those all the time. No sidewalk slammer? Oh my God. Oh yeah. Lots of Four Loko. Yes. That's the one I do drink a lot. That's the exception I'll make,

yes. Even during dry January. It's tough to turn down a cold Four Loko. Yeah, I'm still pounding those every day. I'm going to stop my Four Loko habit. Wake up to a Four Loko.

Well, if you had to change anything about this drink would it be um i think it's a perfect drink uh in round two i'm just gonna drink my can of pre-made arnold palmer light nice i think i would do uh i wouldn't change anything but it would just depend on the ingredients. Like if I got a, uh, less, you know, or if you bought the correct, uh, ingredient, let's assume I bought the correct, let's assume I've had this drink before. I used to make them at that golf course all the time I was talking about. Anyway, it just depends on like the sweetness levels of whatever liquid you get so like if i got a you know i would do this recipe

again for something like the uh uh if i got a minute made or something sure you would tailor based on the brands but if just with these ingredients i would probably go more lemonade with these ingredients of course i have limeade limeade, and that's going to throw things off. Sure, sure. Well, question for you guys. Is it against the spirit of our dry January episode if I do add a little liquor for round two? It's against the spirit for sure, but I think you're fine. Damn January.

Yes! I'm going to try that gin. Nice. I love it. Ounce and a half of gin. This is so good. I'm just going to make another one of these. Alright. All right. Straight up. Folks, you go ahead and listen to the ads and grab your wallet, because it's going to be a couple minutes, and we'll come back here with round two after this.

And we're back with round two of the arnold palmer wow opening up my huge arizona oh it's good with gin folks good oh yeah love that how much would you put a shot shot is that just like a nice shot glass yeah i did I did something I've never done before, and this might even qualify as unprecedented. I inverted the ratios. Oh, my God. This is great podcasting. Okay. You're absolutely mad to do it, but I may be the mad lad, but I did two thirds lemonade and one third iced tea.

The iced tea brand, by the way, I'm using is Tejava Unsweetened. So we'll see what this is like. I tell you what, it's not bad. I mean, you got that not so sweet lemonade. That's perfect. Yeah, I think that might be it. No, this is hitting for me. Seems like any ratio is pretty good. It doesn't really fucking matter. I think it's two good drinks and they

mix together well. You guys feel that earthquake? Timmy, do you feel that earthquake is that just me i heard something creak damn i am now feeling something but i don't know if it's if it's psychosomatic because you mentioned earthquake weird well that's that's interesting well it's maybe the center was los feliz and then it reverberated out to Santa Monica. Yeah, I think so. Jeff, check your seismic readout. Huh? Don't you have a seismic readout machine? What the hell?

I got you that gift certificate over the science store. What did you buy? My monitor and speakers are on kind of tall stands, so they were wobbling like crazy. I think that was... I think it might have been a little quake. Damn. This drink is making me think... It's one of those those drinks you take a big sip of it and you say i didn't realize it was this thirsty yeah when it hits your lips that's that's the big problem

because i know this has a little bit of caffeine and i'm i'm very sensitive to caffeine after in the afternoon so i'm worried about just chugging this bad boy but it is delicious guys 42 seconds ago a 4.5 magnitude earthquake occurred in san bernardino california wow wait there was just like six murders in san bernardino today that's fucking crazy murdered by an earthquake yeah i think so yeah please um my canned thing is good but it's a little on the sweet side for me because it is a half and a half so i liked i was more into my uh less sweet version but still poured it on the rocks and it's a delicious drink there's i i am in the mood sometimes for those like the fakey arnold palmer arizona iced tea one or the or like any like when i'm in the mood for a soda it's like the same thing for sure yeah like you just want

that like shitty sugar have you ever tried it this was the thing i was thinking about doing but i didn't i i like i was i couldn't couldn't get a good sparkling lemonade but if you tried this a little bit of effervescence because i get i could see this maybe working with a little sparkle and i feel like sometimes you get the canned ones and they are a little sparkly we've done a couple of cocktails with like the sparkling lemonade what were they i mean like there's tom collins kind of sort of yeah i kind of don't like the sparkling stuff other than like seltzer water or something like that but wasn't there like a wimbledon drink that had like, or there was like a tennis drink that had European lemonade,

which has bubbles. You could also do it with brisk iced tea. Ooh. Ooh. Nothing's over. That's brisk, baby. That's brisk, baby. Give me some little drink.

A Pimms cup. That's what the drink is. Oh, yeah. We've done Pimms. Oh, that has the lemonade in it? That's what it says. Ah, that's what I'm thinking of. Maybe I'm wrong.

I can't remember what I would have gotten for that, though. What wrong ingredient you would have gotten instead of lemonade? Don't start that in 2024. I think that the IBA said that you can use ginger ale or sparkling lemonade. Or like Sprite or something. Got it. Yep. Yep.

Yep. All right. That's good. You know that this is reminding me of, I, the, the, for the citrus soda area,

I think maybe my favorite overall cocktail is something we've talked about with you on, on dough boys. A hand man is a Paloma. I love them. These guys are more Paloma guys than i am but yeah grapefruit soda love it it's a good lime and tequila that's good yeah actually that's one that i do make around the house a lot me too those little those little q what are they uh

q mixers they got a nice oh yes yes yes yes they got a nice little tiny grapefruit soda i got the mexican squirts in my fridge now this isn't a fork rating scenario weiger we're not going to put you through that but you do you do have to state on the record if you would order this again is it is it an order again yeah 100 i'd order this tomorrow i i like either execution i had no hesitation this this is i i love this drink it's great it's it's probably it's it's you know a black coffee is probably my favorite non-water regular everyday drink but like taste wise well i just i just have black coffee every day so i just like i'm so it's it's just like statistically it's your favorite i guess so yeah i feel like it's the thing i

couldn't live without but like my favorite cold drink is this this is what for non-alcoholic drink 100 yeah tough to be that's an order again for me i love it yeah you know what's so funny i never thought of this drink as a you know something like non-alcoholic beer or the shirley temple or roy rogers or whatever but yeah this is this makes so much sense as like a kind of a cocktail drink you can hang out with what's something that needs to be made it's not something that's coming whatever but yeah this is this makes so much sense as like a kind of a uh cocktail-y drink you can hang out with well it's something that needs to be made it's not something that's coming straight out of the gun or straight out of the bottle there needs to be a bartender to make it for you yeah yeah yeah but like i think it's the reason it's not more ubiquitous is that bars

bars don't really have tea do they that i think that's part of the thing so it's so much it's so often contextual like if you're getting brunch or something like this you can absolutely whip this up and i think if you're not drinking a great brunch brunch option sure yeah at that bar it might not be available but you're not getting this at ye rustic in are you yeah for sure too bad you know a little cave we got iced tea in a can in the back somewhere um mike you are in order again. I am definitely in order again. And of course, this is now more me and ordering more in general. I need to do. Yeah. I just need to order

more in general. I'll go to a restaurant and just sit there and not the waiter will be like, and for you, and I won't say anything. And then he'll go, everyone will get their food. I'm like, oh, I didn't get anything. I'm like, sorry, I blanked. I'm Jeez. I'm like, sorry, I blanked. I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you.

Do you have any, what type of breads do you have? Now this is an order again for me. And, and much like that, that Soprano scene, I'm going to remember to order it a lot. Cause I love it.

Um, but it was just reminding me, um, you guys, we were talking about, uh, uh about Arnold Palmer plays golf, right? You guys know the sport? Yes. Golf?

Yeah, we mentioned that. We mentioned that. Yeah, golf. Okay, well, you all know golf, the sport, but are you familiar with the golf quiz? What? Yes, that's right. I've got some skill testing trivia questions about the sport golf. And you three are going head to head to see who is the golf king of the pod.

Some might say head three head. Head to head to head. I think head three head is correct. No, actually. Head three head. Not bad. You guys are going head three head. Yeah, Wiger was saying earlier about how he likes, you know,

words have to mean what they mean. Yeah, exactly. Head three head is kind of where we're at on that. I'm kind of a five head with my hairline these days. Oh, geez. Hey, it worked for Vince Vaughn. That's true. That's a good point.

You know who you look like, Weiger? I meant to say this to you earlier in the football season. Did that work for him? He's doing better than ever? I don't know. He's a big celebrity. Anyway, Weiger, did you watch Josh Allen play football earlier in this season when he had longer hair?

Okay, so yeah, I think you told me this. Did I tell you this? I think so, that there was some passing resemblance. I think he looked like it, yeah. Yeah. I'll take it. He looks like a good looking dude. I'll take it.

He's a good looking dude and he can run. He's a gorgeous man. Weiger, I think you look like Jacob Elordi. Ooh. Wow. I see that. Okay. I love it.

But you kind of remind me of the bathtub scene somehow. Your behavior. I don't know why. I think of kind of a squirrely Englishman sucking cum out of a bathtub. Sucking cum.

I don't know. It's just how I think of it. Nasty! Did you see Priscilla? He's Elvis in Priscilla. No, I didn't see that.'s just how I think of it. Nasty! Did you see Priscilla? He's Elvis in Priscilla. Ooh, no, I didn't see that, but now I want to. I loved it, sort of.

That's, I think, in my top five of the year. Really? But I think it's great. But also, I'm a huge Elvis fan, so it's very much for me, but I think it's just such a great character study.

But he's in it, but it's a supporting role because it's mostly about a great like character study. But he's like in it, but it's like a supporting role because it's mostly about Priscilla and mostly about his isolation. But he's just so Elvis-y in it. It's the best. It's so funny to have, like, because I didn't hear much about that movie,

but to have a huge Elvis movie come out last year and then one come out this year, it's like, yeah, I'm not. Yeah. We like the other one better. With the new hot boy of the year. Well, it does seem like they came out in the right order though. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know you hot boy of the year. Well, it does seem like they came out in the right order, though.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know you were a big Elvis guy. Why, Edgar? I do. I love Elvis. I did love Baz Luhrmann's Elvis movie as well. I thought that was terrific. I think that this one I really liked.

I get why it was not as successful and heralded, because that one is like this celebration of this tortured guy. not as successful and heralded because that one is like a, this celebration of this tortured guy. And this one is very much like, well, he was kind of a psychopathic monster who groomed a 14 year old. And also there's none of his music in this. So like, it's like,

it's not like a fun watch, but it's really well done. So, so who, who played the, who played Priscilla? The, the actor,

I'm having trouble remembering her name. She is great. Let me, let me look up the IMDb. So when you say there's no Elvis music, like he opens his mouth to sing and it's just silence kaylee spainy is the actress maybe spanny i don't know how you say that but like the she she is great and um he no they're like there's just like not really him performing it's like he's just like he already is this huge star she knows who he is when she meets him um and he has this whole like array of handlers that basically facilitate her being introduced to his life and her parents being like placated and wooed.

And it's, but it's largely just like, does not take place on stage at all. It's just like, kind of like there's stuff of him, like listening to other people's music and um like playing some informally but he's like doing cover songs uh yeah damn interesting there's this there's this one scene where the jacob lardy and and uh nelly uh and i keep quoting it to each other as i think she pointed out but it's like uh he's he's because it's just showing him like what it's like to live with somebody who's so controlling and has these fits of anger uh but this point was like get the hell out of here priscilla and then she leaves and he goes like no baby don't go it's like within like four seconds of screen time it's so great now wait hold on you so we've all heard of el and we've all heard of golf, but have you heard of the golf quiz?

Yes, that's right. No. Okay. So I'm keeping track here. You don't have to buzz in. You just blurt out your answer and a winner takes all. Okay, here we go. Question number one, a hobby do be this guy is the bad guy character.

Happy Gilmore. Shooter McGavin. Shooter McGavin. Yes. Shooter McGavin. Jeff Gilmore. Shooter McGavin. Shooter McGavin. Yes, Shooter McGavin. Jeff gets it. Shooter McGavin. Very good. Micah's got his hand in his face.

He doesn't take this seriously. I loved it. What a mess. Okay. What a mess. Jeff, you're pulling away. Jeff is really pulling away with this. Later, suckers.

Are you writing this down? Because this is going to be difficult now with three people. I got it. I got it. I got it. Four, including the quiz master. I trust the quiz master. Here on the golf quiz.

I haven't yet. You've heard of the golf quiz, right? I've heard of the golf coast. The golf coast? Yeah. yeah okay here we go it's not the one you're thinking of too question number two yeah uh microphone check one two this rapper owns a clothing line called golf tyler the creator damn i it was on the tip of my tongue jefferson is pulling away wow i never would have known that i wanted to say earl sweatshirt i would have guessed drake i don't have no idea i've never heard of this drake sweatshirt yeah um well there's still a chance

for you guys to catch jeff even though he's pulling away with two. How many questions are on this quiz? This is about 400 questions. Okay. Okay. First time. Question three. Huh. Her last name may be a golf term.

Yes, this is true. But she's also in Maestro. Sally Sandtrap. Who the fuck is in Maestro? Tina Birdie? No, Tina Birdie's not in Maestro. I know who it is. It just took me a second to connect it to golf.

It's Carey Mulligan. There you go. Weiger is on the board with Carey Mulligan. Yes, this is true. Loved my show, by the way. Yeah, I gotta see that. I haven't seen. I'm behind. I've been watching a bunch of movies, but none of the relevant ones for 2024. I know. I watched Salt

Burden and thought I was so hip, but I was like, oh, I didn't even get nominated for anything. Watch what you dig. Exactly. Thank you. Okay, here we go with the next question. Sure, it's a number, but sometimes golfers yell this. Jefferson Dutton takes it. No way.

That was just. Yeah, I nailed that one. I know, but I said it first. Okay. Jeff's got three. Nick's got one. Mike's got a goose egg. How do you feel, Mike?

I feel bad. Well, a goose is a type of bird. And as I mentioned birdie earlier, I'm feeling like I'm now starting to get into the golf vibe. This is funny too, because usually on this podcast, we're drunk at this point. And I'm just realized that I feel sharp as a tack. Yeah. sharp as a tack. Okay. Next question. Adam, baby. These words are quite often followed by the word for this golf club. Driver. Yes, Michael.

Adam and baby are quite often followed by the word driver. Driver. Mini driver. Mike, nice to see you on the board. Driver. Mini driver. Mike, nice to see you on the board. Okay, next question. It's great to be here. This small wooden pedestal sounds like an Earl Grey. Jefferson is on the board.

Tea? Oh, God. Yes, this small wooden pedestal sounds like an Earl Grey drink. Earl Grey drink. Wow. I was not picturing like a golf tee when you say pedestal. I guess it is a pedestal. It's a small wooden pedestal.

I had a friend who was a 40-year-old. He hadn't had sex yet. He was 40, and his friend kept telling him he was putting the pussy on a pedestal yeah i i knew this guy i know you're talking about you know i'm talking about i know you're talking about yeah he's a good guy i saw him on a tv screen he did he did i saw i so i saw the same tv screen um and that's how i know him and yeah he ended up he did end up like ultimately having sex which is great oh yeah great it just it took a while but he figured it out and he found someone that he loved and connected with that's good i

just hope uh patches of his chest hair were not missing by the end of the movie tim you were about to say something about a question you just hope that that's your hope against hope that that's what's happening. Yes. Okay. Well, next question on the golf quiz. Ouch. This slang term for testicle is also a golf term. Ball. Michael Hanford is on the board. Again. The answer on this golf quiz was ball?

It's a golf term. Yeah, ball. Okay. It is. No, it's fair. The answer on this golf quiz was ball? It's a golf term, yeah, ball. Okay, it is now. It's fair. In golf, they have to swing their club, a driver sometimes, at a ball. Do you think you're going to spend a whole day on a course and not hear the word ball? Come on.

No, it's fair. Hey, where's my white sphere? I'm just bitter because Hanford and Jeff are both pulling away. Well, this also might be, it is the golf quiz, so maybe a low score is the thing. Wow. Oh, that would be an interesting turn. Yeah, that just might be the thing here on the golf quiz.

Jeff has four, Mike has two, Weiger has one. Here we go, next question. Whoa. Whoa. This golfer's name is similar to the name of an actor who found out his sister was his mother. Jack Nicklaus.

Yes! Jack Nicholson. The answer is Jack Nicklaus because it's similar to the name of the actor who found out his sister was his mother. The golden bear

or the silver screen? From the end of Chinatown, I heard that whole question. I thought it was a a real world event i didn't process that it was happening to a movie character who did that happen to that's insane is that like a silent film era scandal wait jack nicholson the real jack nichol, did grow up thinking he had a young mom. I mean, no, thinking he had an old sister. Wait, what did he think?

He thought he had an old mom. Wait, that's true? Yeah, he grew up thinking his mother was, like, the person he thought was his sister turned out to be his mother. Which happened a lot in the old days. And he was, like, raised by his grandmother or something. Raised by his grandmother. Right, and thought that was his mother. I never knew this factoid.

So isn't it weird that the end of Chinatown with the mother sister, mother sister, that's, it's insane. That is totally wild. Yeah. It's the type of shit that goes down here on the golf quiz. Okay, next up. Look out below. Tim once made a delivery to this actor's house and saw him angrily pull out a golf club out of his golf bag and walk to a cliff to drive golf balls. Jack Nicholson.

Yes, Michael. There he is. I saw Jack Nicholson at his house in his garage yelling at his housekeeper because he was looking for his driver. And then he found the driver. He pulled it out of the golf bag, and he was wearing a bathrobe. And he walked off behind the house because he angrily drives golf balls down into the canyon. Wow.

That's exactly the Jack Nicholson I would want to see in his house. Like in a robe yelling at somebody. Like, where's my club? That PA guy's pulling away. Was this like a food delivery or were you dropping off like a script or something? I was dropping off a birthday present from James L. Brooks. Wow. And he was trying to, Jack was trying to impress the PA.

He was putting on a show. But here's what was interesting. he's putting on a show but here's what was interesting um it's bad boy lane which was like three houses on this one driveway we have warren beatty and then remember like like old marlon brando lived there in a house that was like i think bought for him by nicholson and beatty or something um but the house that i went to this is dark the the house that nich went to, this is dark. The house that Nicholson lives in is the house where the hot tub is, where the Roman Polanski thing happened. Oh, my God. Assaulted, sexually assaulted a minor. Oh, yeah.

Jesus. He still lives in that house? He still lives in that house. And it's the type of thing that comes up on the golf quiz. Okay. Moving on. Jesus. Okay. We're in the homestretch here. in that house and it's the type of thing that comes up on the golf quiz okay moving on jesus okay we're in the home stretch here ouch this actor once beat up a taxi cab with a golf club wait say it again britney spears god damn it fuck this actor once beat up a taxi cab with a golf club. Britney Spears, no? I didn't know that.

Is it Joe Pesci? No. Is it in a movie? It happened in real life up in the valley. He was angry and he smashed up a taxi cab with a golf club. Jack Nicholson. There you go, Mike Hanford.

Whoa. Whoa. Okay. This guy focuses his anger onto his golf clubs. He should, he should rewatch anger management is my concern. We have one question left and it's Jeff has five. Mike has four.

Nick has one. And so I hope you don't tie it up Mike because I don't have a tiebreaker Question So let's go to the final question Aww Jack Nicholson has said That this Royal Tenenbaum's Actress was the love of his life

Angelica Houston Jeff wins the golf quiz Congratulations Jeff How do you feel? Nice job Jeff Angelica Houston. Oh, Jeff wins the golf quiz. Congratulations, Jeff. How do you feel? Nice job, Jeff. Well done,

Jeff. They were, yeah, they were a little item, weren't they? They were, they were married for like 17 years. Oh, more,

that's more than an item, Nick. Yeah. He's had like weird quotes where, where he was like, I think I'm going to die alone. And like, I think the love of my life has passed me by.

Like he was a poonhound his whole life and now he's just like a lonely old man yeah that's what happens that's the that's the bill maher fate yeah you don't you don't ultimately settle down you turn into you know you end up living at club random um there was a recent instagram like a viral clip of Jack Nicholson in an interview in like 1981, like a sit down interview in his house and the phone rings and he answers it in the interview. And he's like, yeah,

I'll come by. Yeah. What's for dinner. Yeah. Okay. I'll see you in a bit. And they're like, who's that?

And he goes, toots. And then they're like, who's toots? And he goes, Angelica. But he's like very, very, it went viral. Cause he's like very in love when he, when he says her name and he was like getting excited or he he's like, how much longer is this interview going to

go? Because I got to go to dinner anyway, the love of his life here on the golf quiz. Congrats, Jeff. Thanks buddy. Uh, and then since I'm the winner, uh, I'm going to bring back toots. I think that that's like, it doesn't need to be derogatory or anything like that. That's a fun word. And I think, you know, you should be able to call anyone toots. And you're going to, that's going to be the thing you sort of fight for. That's my new cause. I don't know if it's the best cause, but I don't know either. What he wants to do.

Well, I won the quiz though, didn't I cause, but I don't know either. But he wants to do. Well, I won the quiz, though, didn't I? So what I say kind of goes. Yeah, that's true. Who am I to say you won the golf quiz? That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, go to Patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys for double the pleasure every week damn i like it i love it i love it i want some more of it nick thanks for being here dude thank you so much for having me

everyone sign up for the sloppy boys patreon support these dudes three of three of the funniest dudes around hey i like that i like that nick you read the text i sent you where's three of the funniest dudes around I like that. Nick, you read the text I sent you. Where's three of the funniest dudes around? Read this or I'll slap you next time I see you. And also just the giving the theming of the podcast and this particular episode, I would encourage anyone out there who maybe feels like, hey, maybe I should take a step back from drinking to just like take a month off. Like it's you know, you'll you'll be surprised like how quickly the the time will fly by and you'll feel better on the other end.

And it may lead to some positive outcomes in your life. So, you know, maybe you missed dry January, but we're in February. You can start on any day of the month and it doesn't need to be a big to do running up to it. You can just sort of say like start one day and take 30 days off and just see what happens to your brain and body. Maybe you'll be happier on the other side. That's great advice, Nick. Any month can be dry.

Nick Wagner, very funny guy. Love this guy. He's always making jokes. Stick around. We got more episodes of the Slappy Boys. He's always making jokes. Comedian. Where can people find you, Nick?

I'm just, you know, I got the Doughboys podcast with Mitch and I got my podcast Get Played with Heather Ann Campbell and Matt Apodaca where we talk about video games. And yeah,

check out either of those. I'm not really on social media, but always happy to have new listeners well we miss you on X we miss you on X yeah I was a fixture on X for a while yeah

somebody recently just sent me they stumbled onto the Heathcliff the new Heathcliff cartoons and sent me like a couple of them I was like yeah they're nuts I think what's happening is it's the sun took over from the original Heathcliff guy. Yeah, there's a it's it's it's been passed down. I forget the reason I'm asking. Talking to Nick about this is because for the listener, he used to post random Heathcliff cartoons and comment on them.

And I like that they're total nonsense and i think the guy has kind of figured out um i i forget the name of the the current author but the current author has kind of figured out what that people are kind of liking it even ironically he just is sort of kind of leaning into it so he's become a little bit more aware of that um so yeah like the the the randomness is perhaps a little bit more intentional than it used to be but yeah it was this weird like it's this weird sort of dadaist uh it's turned into this this this weird dadaist single panel strip if anyone has has fallen off of heathcliff anyone's not still reading the print funny pages um and it'll be things like like a

like a you look at just honestly pull up the latest Heathcliff, and it's probably something like Heathcliff wearing a helmet that has the word gum on it. And then like an old man sitting on a bench saying to a bird, there he goes again. What is happening? Also, Weigert, we should say, where would one pull up the latest heathcliff where is this all going down i think it's on go comics comics funny pages peter gallagher is the current author yeah george gately created it and and uh peter gallagher is writing it these days this is okay so this one that i'm looking up january 24th is the the day we're recording this and the this this comic is created that is heathcliff walking down the street uh with a fishbowl on his head and a fish is in it saying

brah and two birds are watching the scene unfold this is a common structure he uses something's happening and then two other characters are commenting on it uh and the two birds are saying a close relative of the bro fish so i guess like bro blow if bro fish is a pun on blow fish that could work but i think you'd need like a blow fish in the panel for that to read but he's taking it like a step further and it just seems like word salad it's like doing a punchline without a setup yeah the one the one just before this i i promised to get too too deep into this but the one just before this on is it's heathcliff at a an easel and he is painting a robot and there is a robot sitting uh behind him like sitting for his portrait being painted and two old ladies are saying, as they're watching this,

he's the area's foremost robot artist. What does this have to do with like being a cat who likes to eat out of the garbage? Which is like, he's this asset. We're past that point. I wonder if this is a comment on AI somehow, like AI generated images.

It was going on before that. It's been going on for a while. Yeah sure sure I'm with you it doesn't make a lick of sense to me all right one more this is two two guys with mustaches and glasses are walking down the street on the sidewalk they are identical they look like identical twins um and they are with Heathcliff and all three of them are wearing shirts that say, bro. And then two children are watching this from across the street. And the boy says to the girl, this looks like trouble. Yeah.

What the fuck? Jesus Christ. This one makes sense. From January 22nd, we've got outside of a church, there's a priest. Well, first of all, in the church, there's a sign that says peace and love. And Heathcliff, there's a pile of dogs that just got beat up. And Heathcliff has his fist raised. So he beat them up.

And the priest is standing on, he's holding a Bible. He's standing on the front of the church. And he says, come on, man, to Heathcliff. One of the church and he says come on man to heathcliff one of the more sensical ones it makes sense it's very good and that's like more of a classic sort of like like you know smiler of a joke well yeah you smile i'm bending over laughing at this. Alright. Alright, folks. Check out Heathcliff. Hey, and if you want to see funnier things than Heathcliff, come out to

Bottle Rocket in Pittsburgh. I'm going to be doing an hour of stand-up there on the February the 3rd. It's going to be a fun one. Wow. Hey, good episode, guys. Great stuff. Thanks, Nick. Very good stuff. Thanks, Nick. Thank you. Thanks, Nick. Very good stuff. Thank you. Bye, folks.

Bye. See you next week. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. The Lord is with you.