The Sloppy Boys - 176. Black Russian

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

The guys make the precursor to the more popular White Russian! It's the same thing but without the cream, created at the Hotel Metropole in Belgium around 1949.1.7oz/50ml VODKA.66oz/20ml COFFEE LIQUEUR Pour the ingredients into an old fashioned glass filled with ice cubes.Stir gently.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association | www.iba-world.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we are your hosts of the only podcast hosted by a band with timeless integrity and classic contemporary cool. And video. Classic contemporary cool.

Kind of stolen from the IBA contemporary classics list. Well, we added something the IBA could not do. Cool. Timeless is timeless, but then you also want to be contemporary. That's true. Of the day. Hey, wait a second, Jeff. I think I just heard your headphone microphone matter around.

Is it possible that you're... No. It's impossible. That's implausible. Well, let's leave that in. That'll be kind of cool. Hey, you know, I just mentioned we're doing video. Check this out.

I got a little TikTok ring light I'm going to put on right now. A friend of mine went to the TikTok headquarters, and they were, like, giving these out in a carapace. This is a TikTok headquarters? Ooh. Mike, you look good. I'm covering the camera. There we go.

You don't look any different other than the reflection of that light is now in your lenses. It goes up hold on what you do oh oh oh yeah it's good it looks a little bit blair witchy or something well it's just like a bright light in my face you look like a 20 year old influencer creator we call them creators now i'll just i love yeah i like calling creators and now it's Tyler, the influencer. That's so weird. Oh, what's his hat say now?

AI golf. Stop. I'm like, you're so pissed. The kind of golf where you golf at a screen and a digital ball. Yes, exactly. This is now the hat that Tyler,

the creator is wearing. As in his old hat said, organic, original, real golf. Yes. You guys want to know what's going on with me?

That would be nice to hear. I was all pumped, primed, fresh, and ready to go for this pot all day. I'm going to pot. I'm going to be so on point and so funny. And I felt cool, crisp, fantastic. Nice. Then just before we start rolling i ate a big ramen

you know how we like to you make take the cheap top ramen but you jazz it up with all the tricks and bells and whistles i did one of those and i really went for it i did a good job but i ate this whole punch bowl of salty spicy fatty fucking ramen and i feel like shit i'm i'm tired from the salt i'm sweaty from the heat i need to go to bed no tim you need a cool crisp beverage that's what she needs gonna level you right out like i need like a sweet sweet coffee beverage dump a little booze on that spot spicy soup so wait tim what'd you put in there? A little egg maybe? So what was the, the noodle was just the top ramen. You added stuff to it. I had chili flavor top ramen, but you know, I, you only supposed to put two cups of water. I

put in like two gallons of water cause I want that thing to be big and a big punch bowl. Then God, I mean, I got the seaweed snacks. I got, I didn't, I didn't have pork belly, but I had like good bacon, like butcher bacon from the deli counter. So I put that in there. I did sesame oil. I did chili oil, chili crisp, a little bit of soy sauce, cracked an egg in there. But guys, here's the real thing. All those things made it incrementally better. And I've been toying with this a lot you know what is the one main fucking thing that makes ramen restaurant quality right

in your shitty little home salt butter oh sounds weird no that doesn't sound weird big fat pad of butter maybe like a double pad a big cube of butter and melt it in there and then suddenly i was like i can't believe i didn't pay 18 bucks for this one dollar rum wow tim you'll remember not a week ago i was texting you i was trying to do the same thing in my house make some ramen i said tim what's the thing i need what makes restaurant ramen different? And you said the egg. And I said, well, I did a hard-boiled egg that I cut in half and put in.

And you had mentioned making, I said, what makes it creamier? And you said I think cream. I think cream or something. And I said, what about mayonnaise? You said, okay. So I did mayonnaise and it was okay. Which is made out of eggs. And just gave it a little thickness to it. That would be is made out of eggs and just gave us a, give

it a little thickness to it. That would be similar to the butter experience I just had. Yeah. It wasn't bad, but the butter is a good idea. Um, Mike, what you do is you, I've got like a, an egg maker where I can like soft boil like eight eggs at a time or something. So the, you know, you take them out of the thing and the white is solid, but then you've got that gelatinous yolk. So you get to do like an Instagram food porn, carve in there, David Chang, yolk spill.

Don't do that on the pod. Not on this pod. I'll do that on my other pod. You want to talk about uh food porn on instagram how about just porn on instagram listen to this i'm on the other day scrolling through and i see in my in my uh i see a uh uh account that's women breastfeeding i say interesting women's breast that's a natural thing mikey we we celebrate that that's what i said that's what i said and and it's like oh this is how that's why i said alone

on my phone to myself we celebrate this we celebrate this that no so what i said was oh that's how how you can do nudity on instagram by breastfeeding then i started looking into it a little more there's people on this account they first of all they they would have the baby and they'd take their boob out and put it in the baby's mouth and i was looking closer the baby was a fake baby was a fake baby oh brilliant so there's a couple but then there was others mixed in with babies that were moving stuff but i was like this is a fake baby it is not moving whatsoever its hands are like you know it's got like the the i don't know how to say like it can move around it's like one of those little babies in a uh in a in a new orleans king cake it doesn't even cover up the whole nipple so would you be able to make a whole feature-length

porno and then right at the end a baby pops in and says hey mama and then you're like probably not probably not because there's probably mama i want milk mommy, Mike, did, did you find, uh, were you convinced at all? Did you really feel like you were onto something? Is this baby convincing? Is this a Jim Henson's creature shop baby? Well, I, I, I said to myself, I got to get to the bottom of this. So I probably did three, four hours of research on this thing. Uh, no, I, it was convincing only because I was seeing it and like being like how can

why is this uh yes shown on instagram and not other stuff oh looks like we got uh looks like deniro just entered the chat hey deniro got a haircut it looks like looking good thank you i gotta get over and get my little bit he doesn't sound like deniro he doesn't sound like deniro or look like the face thank you oh thank you you blew it have you guys seen cop land you blew it i never did see that movie too oh that's what you blew it's from i thought it was from uh dude what's this uh sand this, uh, Sandler and, uh, Sandberg movie. He says, you blew it.

Like Pacino in that movie. Anger management. You blew it. No, he does that. And, uh, Billy Madison,

when the kid calls up, he's like, he calls on this ball. And he's like, would you ever want to go out with Billy? He's like, just hangs up. And he's like,

you blew it. I'm thinking of it. And that's my boy. You fucked us, buddy. Oh my God. Yeah fucked us, buddy. Yeah, I'm like, God. You fucked us, buddy. Because they went to a spa for a bachelor party.

No, you blew it is De Niro. Not a classic movie, but I saw it in theaters. Copland. No. Copland. Copland. Stallone has a chance to help De Niro with a case. Oh, wait.

Sylvester. No, I feel like Janine Garofalo is in that movie. Is that crazy? That sounds crazy to me. Because this would have been when she was still in her peak alt comedy fame. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Was she in a different movie that's similar or just no, not at all? No. Are you thinking of Michael Rappaport? Yes, she is. Was she in a different movie than similar or just no, not at all? No. Are you thinking of Michael Rappaport? Yes, she is. She's in it. She's Deputy Cindy Betts. Whoa, Jefferson. Deputy Cindy Betts.

I'm sorry that I doubted you. I thought you were a fool. Yeah. Let there be a lesson to all of you. Whatever that says goes from now on. Don't question me. He knows what he's doing. I was just going to say, everyone go on YouTube, watch the You Blew It scene because Sylvester

Stone's like, hey, you know that thing we talked about? I came around. I've been thinking about it. I came around on it. I'd like to do that thing with you. And then De Niro's like, it's too late. You blew it. And he's like, what? And it's too late you blew it and he's like what and he's like you blew it but what's so great is that deniro is eating a hoagie

during the scene and he's like because he's on his lunch break so he's like a detective but he's just sitting at his desk like eating his hoagie and he's kind of chewing and he's it's just very charming and you must watch that's some good food work yeah hey remember that cop land made me think of southland i just had to look it up remember that the guy who did donnie darko made a movie called southland southland tales southland tales have you ever seen it somebody i was talking to recently said they saw it and it was actually pretty good and i said okay interesting interesting way to go uh richard kelly that's right. Richard Trickcard. Richard Trickcard.

All your favorites are back. The Birthday Boys. IFC. That's right. It's a good worksite. A full worksited. Can we get into some booze news, please? I would love that.

Wonderful, wonderful women When I go out, that's all that I see Wonderful, wonderful women I just wish one of them loved me Amazing. Wonderful, wonderful women was sent to us by Dan Padley himself. Yeah, good.

And if you have a Booze News team, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com and if you want to become friends with Paddles, subscribe to our Patreon. Here are other podcasts. You can join the discord and you'll be like, uh, you know,

you really swapping gifts all day on there with Dan Padley. That was, uh, that little flute that he had in there was really good. That to those that don't follow the sloppy boys, listen to the sloppy boys blow out our patreon show there was a voice note of a song idea i sang into my phone but it was just acapella so padley turned it into the most a song most beautiful he must have felt like

paul mccartney taking that unearthed john lennon demo and breathing new life into it but you can see that the room tone comes in violently when you sing and it goes away for the nice music. He also did a funny thing where the final note of the song, I sang it wrong. I was, I just, I went off.

I was like, love. I was trying to go like, love me, but I was like, love me. And I hit some weird note and he went with that and he played some kind of cool minor chord and it was good.

Nice. Wow. I thought of this the other day and guys we got to start doing it here on the pod. At the end of every episode, one of us will go in order of alphabetical or picks a Sloppy Boys song to play at the end of the episode.

Get the listeners listening to the music. To the catalog. Oh, I mean to listen to these guys. Then they start hearing them. Then you come to the shows where the fun is. This is not fun. So, Mike, you don't want to give it up for your boys. After that.

Oh, I see what you're saying. I do want to give it up for my boys but with their music in addition maybe it's a song that sort of came up during the course of the episode or has something to do with the drink it's sort of on theme i'm thinking for this first one let's just do tom collins that's the band for the audience favorite they just voted on it it won the best and oh yeah yeah we got a lot of new people listening to pod because we got so famous recently now that we launched video pods uh we're kind of in a whole new echelon this is a big deal but but uh you know we've got four albums worth of songs we gotta get these things out there and we own the rights just play them and also folks if you're on tiktok we're putting our

videos on there now we're putting old music videos we're putting new clips from the show follow us on the tiktok on the instagram do we do x i guess we do x if you truly like this show folks and you want it to stay around you need to do the boots on this ground type work and get this thing big bigger we've done our work. We've done the best we can do. And we're done. Pass it around or this show will not make enough money and will go away. It will go away faster than you think. That's our little NPR fundraiser that we do.

But they don't really threaten you much at NPR. I like our threat when we're kind of talking about putting the video behind the paywall. We should add a new thing that we're always threatening is going to get. That could still happen. We could say, hey, Booze News is going behind the paywall.

Just one segment. What if Hanford's behind the paywall? Yeah, Jeff and Tim are for free, but if you want to know. Oh, that's funny. You have to unlock my track. That's good. You should have to buy each of our audio tracks. So it costs like 15, it's like five bucks a guy.

Yeah, but that would hurt my feelings if everybody's buying your two tracks and mine aren't selling. And they're like, we can infer what Tim's doing. They're like, what? It's 63% of the talking. Yeah, it's only 20 minute episodes. Which I wouldn't mind. You hate

the show. Okay, we did it again. What's the actual booze news? Oh, I have some booze news after Tim. I have a good, interesting thing. Nice. This took some tracking. Okay, so it's early in the year to start talking about.

January 1st, midnight. I love it. You know know we've got this tradition now there's this thing what's the drink of the summer going to be it it happened it started with the aperol spritz summer and then conveniently followed up by the white cloth summer then there started to be this expectation so we kind of had you know and and you know the the new york times saying like it's dirty shirley and then we were like arguing all summer whether or not it's dirty shirley espresso martini they're like yeah kind of but that's not a really it's just summer specific and then you like you i mean last year we were like you had like articles coming out the first

time you heard of a drink is like the hugo spitz is the drink of the summer. And you're like, why? Because you just wrote this article. You gotta have something to say. It's too early to start talking about this shit, but I saw a few weeks ago on an

Instagram reel, one of the many cocktail influencers that I follow was talking about a drink called the Batanga. Have you ever heard of this? You mentioned this, yes. No, I've never heard of it. Batanga? Sounds like pachanga.

Casino and resort. Pachanga is where I make all my money, but batanga is how I spend all my money. Then you made all your money here. No, it's impossible to, Jeff. That's why we need you folks to get the Word app. It's impossible to make money off this. Off of BetterHelpTherapy app?

This podcast is a loss leader. Here's what we do. We take this whole podcast, we put it in a Cayman Islands bank account or a Swiss bank account so it's not untaxed. And then get down there ourselves and do the shows from the Cayman Islands bank account or a Swiss bank account, so it's not untaxed. And then get down there ourselves and do the shows from the Cayman Islands. We record in a vault in the Cayman Islands. Ain't no taxes

for Uncle Sam. Sorry for the Echo folks, but it just makes more sense financially. So, I watched this video where a cocktail guy, sort of a viral video, and he's saying, hey everybody, I just got back from Mexico and we were drinking a drink called the Batanga.

I've heard people say Batanga or, but I think it's Batanga. Here's what it is. It is tequila, Coke, lime, salt. So kind of like a Cuba Libre, but with tequila. And you may as well, you might just call it a tequila Coke. Yeah.

But the little pinch of salt, little squeeze of lime. but with tequila and you may as well, you might just call it a tequila Coke, but, um, well, the little, little pinch of salt, little squeeze of lime. So this guy, he's like, I was just in Mexico.

I was having these. And, uh, I think it could be, it's the Batanga. It's the drink of the year. And, um,

he made, he's mixed it up past summer to the year. Yeah. The drink of the year. And then, well, cause it was like February. So,

but he, he made, he's like yeah we were all drinking these they're so good and uh here's how you make it and then he was like now the most important part he takes his knife that he chopped the lime with and he sticks it into the the high ball glass at the end and mixes it up he goes you use that limey knife to mix it yeah no shit i was like that's gonna told you that from one lime freak to another that's how we go viral off that so I see this video when I say okay that sounds good but I don't know what's the drink of the year then I see another video always the skeptic yeah Tim over there that's

why that's what makes him a good journalist. That's why I say, yeah, that's the drink of the year. Great. I mean, I try to have you guys bring in news stories for whose news, but they're all faith based. You're like water has been turned to wine.

Okay. So then I watch another video or, you know know slopheads are always sending me videos this time somebody sent me one and it was a uh this is like a tiktok of an influencer going hey everybody it's the drink of the year it's the batonga mix here you go and don't forget to use the knife and okay this guy's calling the drink of the year and this's also, he's used the knife. That's weird. Then I follow like a bartender meme account and I saw like some grumpy memes about batangas. People like ordering batangas and it was saying like, it was like, like at a craft, like a craft bar, like a batanga is like $14. But if your local dive bar, tequila Coke is $4 or, you know what, I don't know where you've got a $4 drink, but maybe this was a,

not Los Angeles. Um, so, so now I've witnessed it. Multiple people call it like the big happening drink. And then to the point where some bartenders are snarking it. And I was like, this is, this seems like it, the arc is accelerated. This is moving too fast. And then. I can barely hold on to this thing.

Then this story blew wide open because our friend Danny Noonan on the Discord, who has, I believe, sent us some Booze News themes and is one of the upstanding citizens over there on the discord he sent me this video of a different cocktail influencer uh being like hey who's enjoying batanga week everybody how about it he was responding to a comment where someone was like what the fuck is going on with the batangas and this guy said it was all kind of it was intentionally done because earlier this year a tequila brand in so it was not an ad and it was not a promotion but a tequila brand in mexico invited a bunch of influencers down for a tour of the facility a bunch of influencers who have their own cocktail accounts, they all went, they took a tour,

but then separate, like not, it was, that brand didn't have anything to do with it. Tim, Tim, sorry. A bunch of cocktail influencers got invited to a getaway? Yes. Hold on, I'm gonna. No, no.

Nothing. Did you check your email? Yeah, nothing. And, you know, now that influencers want to be called creators, who's creating more than us, the three of us? Yeah, we did go to Napa and we did tour the Frank family vineyard. Yes. Yeah, that wasn't a sloppy boys trip.

Oh, right. Because Mike wasn't there. Oh, yeah, it was our friend's birthday um uh when we're on tour i feel like we've had some local breweries invite us over and stuff and we're always like we have sound check yeah that's true yeah we go out of our way to not do these influencer things so at night after doing the tour there's this Algonquin round table of TikToker cocktail influencer guys. They were drinking batangas together and they're getting drunk and they go like, oh, these are so great. They're like, yeah, these are so great.

And they're like, guys, what if like when we go back to America, let's call this the drink of the year and see if we can move the needle. And wait, this, you think this is the influencers idea and not the tequila? It is the influencers idea because they didn't in, in none of these videos, did they plug a specific tequila? They were all just saying tequila, Coke, salt,

lime. So it was just a bunch of drunk influencers came up with. Okay. Well, even that's a little more good natured than like it coming from a booze manufacturer. Totally. It's not,

it's not a fake. I didn't mean to say that it's like a corporate shit because we don't stand for that. But, but I, sometimes this is just to say, this is where we're at. I mean,

some of it's pretty good. Really quiet squeaking in there. So you're the one who started the whole thing about hating corporate shit. Now you've also come around on some of this. He'll make an allowance now and again. You got to come around on some, you got to grow on some of this stuff. Well,

then maybe you won't like this because this wasn't corporate shit, but I think what this is, is an Andy Kaufman esque playing on our rates. It's it's, I bring it into boost news to say, just we're, this is sort of undercutting the whole drink of the summer. Drink of summer culture

is kind of being fucked with a little bit by people who have the power to fuck with it. And I don't know how many influencers were there. I saw a little video on this guy. We would never fuck with it. We would be so pure and honest. We do have the power. We just would never fuck with it no way never be so pure and honest we do have the power we just wouldn't fuck with it fuck with it can be confusing because i as an elder millennial

still say fuck with it like fuck fuck it up but fuck with it now means i don't fuck with that oh right yeah right i don't fuck with you you stupid stupid what what hip-hop song is that i don't fuck with you big sean big sean's back i put wait wait i was setting up for a ucb party one year and doing like just setting up the speakers and like playing songs and that song was new somebody's mom was helping set up like the streamers and stuff like that and it's like it's that if you don't know the song it's like you'll stupid ass bitch i ain't fucking with you and this this mom was aghast she almost turned to ash in front of everybody it was she was withering i could see her weakening with every swear that came out of the speakers it's funny also to have like a ucb party like we're all

adults and let's have our mom come in and put up the streamers. Yeah, I don't know whose mom it was. I'm sure she's a lovely lady. One time I was walking with my family in New Jersey and a car came driving by with the windows down and the music was blaring just in time for us to hear like, My neck, my back, my pussy and my crack. Oh, what? my neck my back my pussy and my crack okay the calpacus has just uh got a little bit of a schooling there scandalized on the streets oh boy um wait the influencer thing going bad forget oh remember the uh we all remember the

grimace uh milkshake that whole thing I believe was started by like a company, like a company. McDonald's. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The viral videos for that. The viral videos.

You think that this might've been corporate? Yeah, I think that Grimace, I think he works for McDonald'sdowell you did some digging it didn't take long didn't take as long as that other thing um burning the midnight oil finding old pictures of grimace but the the remember all those videos the people drinking the shake and then like it was almost like a oh yeah and then they would like die i think a company started doing that and put a bunch out and then people just copied it and did it.

I want to do one of those. We should do one. Not now, though. The next time they do the grimace milkshake. The grimace milkshake brings my boys to the yard. Brings Ronald to the playpen. Anyway, I have some booze news. Tell the world, Mike.

It's not really. It's kind of like it's a little bit like Mike eats his way through New York City. So I went to a friend's show the other night. Matt Seuss said she was doing a show at this bar and I got there a little early. So I was sitting at the bar trying to find a good spot. I was there by myself. And I said to myself, you know what? I'm going to I'm going to get this drink. They had a drink on the menu. It was really good, actually. I want to tell you what it was.

It was called the Island Hopper. Great for this. It was... This thing keeps turning. Oh, God, my fucking phone. Hold on. This, my fucking phone. Oh, hold on. This screen keeps jumping around. Don't take any

of this, this out, Milan. This sucks. House. This is for the Island Hopper. House made

spiced coconut rum. Oh, something called made canela liqueur. Oro's ginger, pineapple and lime, and not too

sweet tiki is what it's called. But it was really good. Not too sweet? Sounds good. It was very good. What was that liqueur you said? I never heard that word. Canela? Yeah, I'd never heard of it. K-A-N-E-L-A. Canela. Canela. Liquor. Liqueur, it was really good. And as I'm

drinking, I'm like, Ooh, I should, uh, uh, this is like a milkshake would be very good. That was just one thing I was thinking. Oh, but anyway, so I got one of those. And as I finished, I've never done this before, but I was finishing it up and the bartender, just one bartender came around and he goes, how you doing? I said, you know what? Make me another one of these, but you can see how much I have left. you know you don't have to rush on it and as i finished that one he sets the other one down right in front of me i was like this is great having the bartender and then i i was like hey could you make me a um could you make me an old fashion but just like half the rye i just don't want to get you know to drudgery in a third cocktail

like a full cocktail and he did that for. I left him a big fat tip, but it was like, uh, it was so fun to be like, I'm going to be at the bar and I'm going to say another one of these, it's just like making the setting up a little station at the bar, not without no intention of like, you know, sharing it, just me and the bartender all night long. Oh yeah. It's great. It was like, you got your own little scientist, your own little drink scientist. I love sitting at the,

I've been eating dinner at like at a restaurant, like requesting to sit at the bar instead of a table because you could, it's fun to, you feel a little more involved with the kitchen stuff. You're looking into the kitchen. I fire that, that broccolini. And then fire that chef.

He's taking too long on that broccolini. He's eating the broccolini. then fire that chef he's taking too long on that broccolini but i like chatting it up and uh especially you guys go to uh donna's in echo park no probably the best service i've ever had like best hospital friendliest staff hospitality they they go above and beyond to make you feel like you're dining at a friend's house kind of but you'll also you sit at the bar there's drinks walking past i'm like what was that drinking like oh here i'll make you a little taste or like they're coming they're getting like hey uh somebody we thought somebody ordered this uh appetizer but it was a mistake do you want this but you sit at the bar everyone you become a fixture tim is this where we got the like clarified milk thing? No,

that's Nativo in Highland Park. Damn. What's, what's this place? Or it's a, it's a steak house. This is, this is a red sauce Italian place.

That's the toast of LA right now. It's so good. Very simple. It's right next to what a low boy. And, um, just, it got really popular just cause it's good.

It's not expensive. It's not trying too hard. It's just a really good popular just because it's good it's not expensive it's not trying too hard it's just a really good spot but it's like going there you get like garlic bread and fucking just the staples caesar salad you know fucking spaghetti ragu now this stuff shows up before you even order or you got to put the order. You have to ask for the thing. But what I'm saying is there's a lot of fun stuff. Dessert, they'll bring you a free shot of limoncello. There's stuff. There's stuff going on.

Limoncello wouldn't be so good. They got to order it in line. Anyway, Tim. I was agreeing with you, Mike. Sit at the bar. Talk to the bartender. Learn a thing or two about your life. Be a person and communicate with people.

And you can also be on your phone if you want i was you were playing snood the whole time i didn't talk to him the whole time when he made you an old-fashioned with half the ride did he charge you less uh you know i don't know because at that point i was two and a half drinks deep and I was feeling spendy. Two and a half sheets to the wind. Yeah. So wait, did he make you half of a full Manhattan or did you? No, I said, I said, make the full old fashioned, but just use half as much. Interest. Or I mean, use as much as the, whatever.

It probably came out as half. What about the balance, Mike? The balance? I wasn't too, I wasn't too worried about the balance. Okay. Okay. I wasn't too worried about the balance. Okay. Okay. I wasn't. There's a bartender at a restaurant at Elany Oyster Bar.

Oh, that's a great, I love that place. I ate there once and I talked to him for a bit and I told him I hosted a cocktail podcast. So he's like, oh, what drink did you do this week? And we like talked about what drink. And then like, and I think I even had him make me like a last word or something from the show then i went back a few weeks later and he was like hey podcast guy what was the drink uh this week want me to make you and i was like it was the week we did grimace piss no we did a drink called grimace piss so i don't know don't even get into it you just what did they say do they

say oh i'm curious i'd like to start selling that. That sounds very interesting. Who invented that? And did he stand by his invention or did he pawn it off on his friends? Someone who we're convinced had a large head injury recently invented that. Is that it for booze news? Jesus Christ. It's okay sometimes if it goes long.

You know what I like about Eleni is it's got the bar, the upstairs bar, right? I've only been to that upstairs bar. It is, sometimes if it goes long. You know what I like about L&E is it's got the upstairs bar, right? I've only been to that upstairs bar. It is, but I like to go downstairs, but to the bar downstairs. That's my move. Into the belly of the beast. I've only been upstairs, and I like it because it's a small little room. It's got a balcony, overlooks the street, and it feels like you're in a little fort, like a little tree fort.

It feels like Italy or something. Yeah, it's like a tree, overlooks the street, and it feels like you're in a little fort, like a little tree fort. It feels like Italy or something. Yeah, it's like a tree fort maybe in Italy, but if you can have any bar that looks like a fort, a little tree fort. There's nothing tree about it. It's just got it upstairs. I'm with Jeff. I'm more on the balcony is more European. I'm not on board for this tree fort thing,

but how about the Checker hall in Highland park? That's a cool one, right? That's a balcony. That's like new Orleans vibes. Yes. Yes. Actually,

you know what was a shitty bar, but was had that was a public house in Los Feliz. Yeah. If he says, what's the deal? Stairs by the window. You were like, I'm in Paris and I'm drinking Bud Light.

I'm in Paris and it smells like piss out here. They've got terrible chicken wings here in Paris. Public House did a lot of different things poorly. We're like, okay. They're like, we have 80 beers on tap. They're all skunked. Yeah, 80 beers, all skunked. Ton of food, none of it good.

Jukebox, no dance floor. A lot of seating upstairs, no one's there. Yeah, arcade games, sort of. Pool table was fun our ifc series the birthday boys when it was airing that's where we'd get our friends together on friday nights to watch our new episodes and we'd have a little party and they gave us a back room where we could put the channel on but there'd be sometimes like the music would still be playing and the speakers even in the tv room like the music for the bar was. So you'd be like watching comedy,

bang, bang and birthday boys. And then hearing like, and every time we went, we went that song from the Superbowl. Yes. 10 weeks in a row, season one and then season two.

And then every time we went, one of us would have to get there early and explain to like the new guy, what we do. Just like they were, there was early and explain to like the new guy what we do just like they were there was no like memory like a goldfish over there it was just starting from scratch every week for 10 weeks and he don't he doesn't mean the goldfish crackers folks no no there's a lot of turnover there in the grand tradition of los fieles bars it's everybody's first night and uh when i say what's going on over there, that place suffered a, well, it really suffered during COVID. But then they say that there was like a leak and that place and the study and the restaurant next to it have been shuttered for months and months.

There's been a little construction, but no sign of reopening. What's going on? I think it's fucked, man. Yeah, that sucks. That was a good spot. Well, do you guys want to... We've spent some time talking here, huh? Too much.

It's not too much, I don't think, because we're... Drink or no drink, we're still talking and having fun in the audience. Ooh, that's a good drink or no drink. That'd be a good network game show. Oh, yeah. You take a sip from a glass, and if there's liquid in it, you're like, drink. And if there's no liquid. You're like, Regis, this is sand.

No drink! Regis, we dug you up from the graveyard to tell you. Oh, shit. I thought he had passed. Well, RIP. Okay, so we want to talk about the drink. Oh, the day. Now, this is something we'd never,

well, we've kind of done it before, but this is a drink. We, this is an IBA drink called the black Russian you've had. No, not had heard. I've had and heard. Um, we had, well, we did white Russian way, maybe first year of this podcast, I'd say it was like the first 10 episodes. Yeah. And we, we did it knowing that the black Russian was on the list, I think, but just like, well, we're more familiar. Or maybe at the time the white Russian was on the IBA list. Well, just because on the IBA list it says black Russian, but then there's a note, a white Russian is if you float heavy cream on top.

So we took the cream option, but then we said, no, we should do it. So we can really just no asterisks get done with this list is the third to last third to last we've got uh i did i think i'm pretty sure i talked about the uh history when i introduced the white russian but i on liquor.com i i like the uh the sum up here so i'm just going to read the summary of this, how this drink was invented. In the late 1940s, Pearl Mesta, an American ambassador to Luxembourg, was hanging out in the bar at the Hotel Metropole in Brussels. The establishment's bartender, Gustav Tops, decided to make a signature drink for her, the Black Russian. The Cold War was just starting, so creating a dark,

mysterious drink by mixing Russian vodka and Kahlua was appropriate for the time. Wow. Exciting. I like it. I'm surprised it's that early. I thought this was going to be more of a fern bar thing. Me too. In the 70s.

Yeah. One more thing, though, about this woman, Pearl Mesta. She was, let's see, in Washingtonhington she was known as the hostess with the mostest it said that president henry truman beetlejuice it said that has president henry truman played the piano at one of her parties while general dwight eisenhower apparently sang drink to me only with thine eyes at another so those were the types of wow there's no record of what she was serving two presidents at her party yeah singing piano or on piano singing and having a great time well uh and then the white russian i think came around in the 60s

very easy to make as well this is a super easy drink to make now mike, Mike, when you say White Russian, it reminds me of a movie character, The Dude. Okay, now The Dude abides, man. The Dude abides, my man. This guy was a pot-smoking, bowling ball hucking, chucking freak. Jeff, you gotta see this movie, man.

Dude. Yeah, it's on my list. It's The Rug, dude. The Rug tied the room together, Jeff. You'll get that when you see the movie. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. There's a beverage, dude. The rug tied the room together, Jeff. You'll get that when you see the movie. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. There's a beverage here, man. There's a beverage here, man.

I just need to find a cash machine. Black Russian. Ready? Yeah. Yes. 50 milliliters vodka, 20 milliliters coffee liqueur, and that's it. Now, you said Kahlua that was the original that's I guess so um wow that's what it said in this article but yeah Kahlua I was thinking at

first Kahlua is like kind of the most popular uh right of these but but you said the other day yeah it's got rum in it that's kind of funny yeah that is funny because because when I was looking at Kahlua I was like like, oh, this is rum. Do I need to find a coffee liqueur? And then I just kept seeing this as a coffee liqueur. And I guess I'm just using this. The other one you see around a lot is Mr. Black. Oh, Jeff's got it.

There you go. Yeah, that one I saw in a list. There you go. I saw a list that was like 10 coffee liqueurs that are better than Kahlua or something like that. And that was like number one. It's funny to do the Black Russian here in 2024 because we post espresso martini. And so one of the most popular drinks on earth now is vodka, coffee, liqueur, and espresso. So this is that minus the espresso, which is minus the caffeine.

But it'll probably have the same goddamn taste but that's why you're finding all these articles like there's a lot of talk these days about coffee liqueur because of the espresso martini and i feel like when i order them at when we made it on the show i used kalua but when i order them out at bars they're usually using mr black for real interesting so mr black doesn't have any liquor in it? No, Mr. Black is 50 proof. And this has cold brew all over it. So I think it is made, yes, made from real coffee.

I don't know if there is any kick to this caffeine-wise. But you're right. Like espresso martini, you're getting actual espresso. A shot of espresso. Yeah. Now, why do they call it espresso oh i knew that was coming tim it's because it zips you tell us the method you told us the two ingredients yes the method very good man we are taking the scenic route in this episode method pour the ingredients into an old-fashioned glass filled with ice cubes and

stir it gently. No, white Russian, float fresh cream on top and add it and stir slowly. Garnish! Not applicable, although I did see in either Diffords or Liquor.com somewhere that a you could also...

A bean? Three beans. No, you could take a maraschino cherry put that in there with a skewer or or take take the uh it was called uh sailing i think you take a lemon wedge like that lemon wedge take the cherry right there oh so the so the lemon is sort of hugging the cherry. That's right. But folks who couldn't, who don't watch the video, you got to go to the video now and watch because I did a hand signal for it. I would garnish it with this. Is there, is there like a chocolatey garnish that you could hang off the side of a glass? Yes. A Hershey kiss my boy. Put a slit in it with a knife. Hey, what about an Oreo or a Hydrox?

Oh yeah. A Hydrox. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do for my round two is use some of that vanilla vodka that we used last week. Yes, dude. I was thinking that sounds fantastic. I'm going to make a half for my first one because I've had one of these already. I know what's going on.

All right. That's good. I'm excited. Me too. You want to get into it? Yes. All right, folks, open up your ears and listen to the ads. We'll be right back after these messages.

And we're back! Black Russians in hand. Wow, look at them. I just made a little guy. Drinks up. Drinks up, hoes down. Sips? Let's just get into sips.

Sure, why not? We don't have much time left. Let's get into it. Hey, let's get at it. Let's get after it. Ooh. That's good. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Kahlua, it comes through. I didn't know 20 milliliters would make it through, but it did. I'll tell you this. Mr. Boston is like, I did a little sample back and forth of that in my Kahlua. Mr. Boston? Mr. Boston?

Or not Mr. Boston. Mr. Black. What is Mr. Boston? That's like not Mr. Boston Mr. Black Mr. Black What is Mr. Boston That's like a brand of That's Mitch That's our friend Mike Mitchell Hello Mr. Boston I have a Mr. Boston cocktail guide

Yeah I have a My simple syrup is like Now by Mr. Boston Mr. Boston makes me think of like Oh He's allergic to the Kahlua Well Tim While Tim's recovering from a sneeze Oh, he's allergic to the Kahlua. Well, while Tim's recovering from a sneeze,

I'd like to do my impression of Al Pacino ordering this drink. But Kahlua. Yeah, that's right. No, he sneaked it. He ate your lunch, Mike. Mike's fine with it. He just wanted someone to do it. I just want to hear it. He just wanted it out there. Kahlua. I just want to get that known. I don't really do a great Al Pacino impression.

So I'm glad it got out there. Hey, can I say my thing about Mr. Black? Al Pacino? Are you guys done? I'm done. Mr. Black, the Reservoir Dogs character?

I mean, what the? Well, I said earlier in the episode, Mr. Black, like from The Simpsons. Yes. Oh, I thought you were going to be like, Mr. Black, like Mr. White. Oh, yeah. Jeff, what were you about to say about Mr. Boston? Mr. Walker. You were about to talk about your friend Mitch.

I compared my Mr. Black to my Kahlua. Mr. Black tastes like espresso martini exactly. Kahlua, you get your rummy, sugary, caramelly coffee. Both good taste, but like way different, I would say. Wow. Wait, you're saying the Kahlua is more of a fun, sweet treat? Yep, exactly right. That's funny because if a recipe called for wine, let's say,

there's so many different types of wine that like just coffee liqueur, if it tastes different, come out. And I'll tell you what, if I were to mix vanilla vodka with this, I may be, you know, I'm sure it's going to be great with the Kahlua, but then it's a real sweet treat. Because you're getting that sweet vodka as well. Hee-haw, hee-haw. I'm going to make a round two.

I'm making a round two of this. All righty. Well, I made a half one. I made a little tiny guy. Oh, I noticed. Because I was going to do it with the vanilla. But you don't want to have two drinks tonight, huh? Well, I don't mind having two drinks but uh you know just off the

get-go i know i'm gonna drink this quick just so i can get to the next one and tim we're playing fortnight after this and we need him sharp you got to be sharp for that that's right um what's been happening over in fortnight these days well some wins some losses are you guys ever going to like a like a travis scott concert out there or anything? Oh, yeah. I guess you can do that, right? It hasn't come up yet. There was a Weezer concert. No, really?

At one point. I remember seeing Lil Nas X stuff. He did. The Weeknd did one. Did Lil Nas X do one too? Or maybe that was in Minecraft or something. I remember seeing a video and being like, wow, this is something else. Crazy.

Something different. That's kind of cool. You know, it was weird. I was looking in my. Yeah, that's a good one. I looked in my fridge to see if I had heavy cream to turn this into a white Russian and low. I did because the Ramos fizz was only a few weeks ago and it has not yet turned. I got two days left till expiration. Nice.

Love that, Tim. Love that for you. But it's hard because I also want to try this vanilla vodka thing. So I got a troubled... I got some decisions that I have to make and I got to man up, dude. I got to nut up and I got to make some choices. A lot of people have a

troubled past. You have a troubled present. Yeah. I have a checkered dude. I got to nut up and I got to make some choices. A lot of people have a troubled past. You have a troubled present. Yeah. I have a checkered future. I've never. Well, you've never done this on the pod before. How about the double fist? Wow.

Two fists. Two fists of cocktails. Two fists. Hey, I had an idea. This is maybe a blowout. Maybe it's a main. I don't know. Once we figure out.

Once we conquer the IBA, this show could become anything. I had an idea. We maybe even talked about it. Discussing sodas and such. The episode is called From Soft to Hard. Best Soda Mixer. Okay, it's a mixer. See what I saying but why from soft to hard oh because it's a soft drink and you're spiking it up now here's what i like about this jeff is that a lot of the best sodas are not great mixers because they gotta you gotta stand up this is why we have club soda

not just seltzer because club soda has got that sodium kick that can stand up to the vodka the quinine the cue on the gun that's right if you drink tonic water straight you're like that's a little weird but if you have it with gin you say no that's kind of nice um here's what here's an interesting one that i did one time you ever go to like a jewish deli and you get the dr brown's soda soda? They got like black cherry. The weirdies. They have like celery and creamsicle and stuff. I had a celery soda and vodka one time. That was a sharp ending to that drink.

Was it razor blades in there? Or is that an old wives tale? Ah, shit. I didn't forget to turn off my AC. Now it's off. Here's a little treat for the video watchers. Oh my God. Thug life.

I'm wearing thug life glasses and don't they kind of look actually fake? Like they look, they do. Yeah. Emoji on. Yeah. It looks like you were bringing in like a Snapchat filter in real life. They're like the pixelated.

Yeah. The glass. I've never seen thug life on a thought before. Okay. How about the double middle finger sunglasses Yeah I've seen them A little treat for the video watchers And hold on a second

We got the Bloody Mary glasses Whoa Those are, no that's fun Now are these prescription lenses? Yeah these are for reading Can you imagine An eye doctor would flip the fuck out If you came in with those

and said, yeah, can we get prescription lenses in this? What the fuck did he say to me? He says that to his nurse. What the fuck

did that guy just say? But it's in front of you so you hear it. Yeah. Have I told my lens crafter stories a story on pod? No.

You had a lens crafter story this whole time? A guy who doesn't wear glasses so now i'm very curious yeah i know i don't know what this was all about the hell were you in there for i think that i so i'm uh nearsighted i have a little bit of trouble like when i was in like college looking at the been a big lecture hall like looking at a powerpoint or looking at the, being a big lecture hall, like looking at a PowerPoint or looking at the board from far away. I was getting kind of squeaky. We call that a hangover where I'm from. Stop it!

I knew you in college, man. You had some nights out and these were school nights. Guilty as charged. Yeah, he didn't slow down. Oh, Tim, we got an exam tomorrow. Okay. I'll as charged. Yeah. He didn't, he didn't slow down. Oh, Tim, we got an exam tomorrow.

Okay. I'll have one less beer. He'd say, he'd say. So I'm college age and I'm home for the summer. And I walk into the mall with my mom and my dad. So an adult boy, his mom,

his dad going to buy your back to school clothes an adult boy being taken out as if i was yeah like back to school but i'm a full-grown man uh we go into lens crafters and as we're walking i was like yeah like i'm just curious you know like i should go do the you know test or whatever but you know, like I should go do the, you know, test or whatever, but you know, uh, I, I, when it comes to the frames, I've got mom, dad, I've got a very, my head is kind of wide. Right. So I'm a little, when we, when we pick out my, my frames, you know, I got to make sure that they're not too narrow that's a concern okay so you don't want to look like dave batista in uh the new blade runner movie where he's got the giant head

and the itty bitty lenses i didn't want to look like a guy in a in a tanning bed with those little right on your eyeballs little tiny cups um so i walk in lens grabbers with my mom and dad. We all sort of split up because we're looking at different frames. Yeah, we get divine conquer. Yeah. Do you want these wire ones? Do you want these Weezer-y ones? Or do you want, you know, like, what are you going to do?

And we're all kind of like looking and keeping in mind that Tim's worried about the glasses being too narrow. So my mom had said, like, pulled outside at like a clerk clerk and was like, hi, are they all, like, the same width? Because my son's got kind of a wide head. And then separately, my dad had pulled her aside. He's like, yeah, we saw the door frames when he came in. Our son is still waiting out in the mall. He couldn't get in here. He's waiting outside.

They're just attaching him from the trailer. My dad had separately said the same thing. So anyway, we're this, this young, like teenage lady is, is, has been helping us. And then, but then the manager who's going to like really do the real stuff is in the back. So he comes out and she goes, oh, okay. Hi. Um, so he's expecting like a sideshow freak based on the intel he's he hasn't heard yet he's just walking up because he was in the back but then she gets his attention

she goes hi hi these people are looking for glasses for their wide head son and you heard i was right there all the three of us were all together. Wide head. Just like, you know, a wide head son. Ah, yes. You must be the boy. He's like, which one? Which of you has a sort of a, hey, Arnold look to you? Ah, yes. Right here.

Okay. I mean, that's, Tim, I didn't surprise you in bringing that up when I did my blood pressure guy story. Oh, yeah. Wide head son, blood pressure guy. Just telling your flaws right in front of you. She's like trying to remember. They're looking for frames for their widehead son.

That's very good. And I wasn't a little son. I was 20. Oh, my God. All right. Well, you guys want to make a second round of this? What would you change? But you never got the glasses.

That's why I like the story just leaves. Because I've never seen Tim in glasses. So it's nice. I've never seen it in my life. I did. I, I, I wore them for like sketch joke.

I put them on. It was a sketch. Like kind of glasses. I wear in the contemporary family sketch. I had ones like that. And I would just put them on if I was in a lecture hall in, in a, wow.

And you still use them at all. Well, I just, it was, it was so mild. Like once I did the test, the guy who was told that I was a whitehead son, he gave me the eye test and found out

I just have a stigmatism in one eye. And I can see pretty... It's basically like night driving or my eyes get a little bleary if I'm looking at a... Like reading subtitles from far away for several hours. Interesting. You're reading billboards all day,

but I lost the glasses and I never replaced them. Oh damn. I like having the glasses. Uh, it gives me another option. Fashion wise. Yeah. You want to look bookish.

Sometimes. I think of you as a glasses man, Mike. Yeah. I've had this in the past. Like Egon. Probably six years now. I years now I've gone glasses more and more so I think I think if you were describing me like oh that guy with the glasses

he wears glasses but I don't wear them on stage or when I do like videos and stuff well careful Mike because you don't want to have the Marc Maron issue what's that had different looks his whole career nobody could pin him down oh Oh. You know? Short hair, long hair, glasses, no glasses, beard, no beard. You can only reinvent once the masses know you. Yeah. But he froze at like the, once he got to WTF, he kind of stuck with that look. Yeah, 50, he picked a look. That's good.

I'm going to, 10 years, I'm going to pick my look. Yeah. I got 20 years, I can pick my look. Yeah. All right. Would you make a second round? I'm going to. I'm going to do the vanilla thing, too.

And then I'm going to bring my cream in case I want to white it up. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I'm going to do vanilla and Kahlua. I'm going sweet. I'm a big old sweetie. Nice. Yeah, I'm doing just vanilla and Kahlua. I'm going sweet. I'm a big old sweetie. Yeah, I'm doing just vanilla and Kahlua. All right.

Yeah. All right, folks, we'll see you right back here after this. And we're back with round two black russian um i realized for segment one i said you wanna you don't you don't want to go vanilla with the kalua but i did here we go we've all got the same thing i got kalua and vanilla absolutely absolute oh oh that's good. Damn. That tastes like a latte or something. Like a Starbucks drink. If this doesn't have a name, we should claim it. Yeah, that's really good.

It's a lot going on. It is a lot going on. But it would be very good to serve to a baby. It's a lot going on the same way that when you get a... A Starbucks frappuccino. Yeah, but like frappies like the the frozen thing right that's yeah it is crazy of those yeah i i'm always ordering starbucks drinks and getting them unsweetened or like one pump or but like if it like starbucks

or mcdonald's you ever get just like a normal thing it's so fucking strongly sweet it's ridiculous um yeah duncan i used to do extra light extra sweet i think they call it on the east coast instead of like this many creams and this many sugars you just say like extra extra or whatever nasty now oh never duncan when you're picking your flavor if you get an iced coffee and want to flavor it they've got some of the flavors are shots and some are swirls and i think swirl has sugar and shot doesn't so they're good though you ever get like the toasted almond or like the coconut they're good they're good now i've got my heavy cream left over from ramo's phase i'm gonna cream this up man this is so different this with the uh yeah vodka this is so different with the vanilla vodka. This is so different.

Hey, when we did the shamrock shake and we liquored it up, what did we put in there? Just whiskey? Whiskey. Jameson. Jameson. Let's do that for St. Patrick's Day on pod. Yeah. Yes. That's good.

Because we did it once as like a Twitch happy hour. As like a stream thing. And we loved it. And I'm amped for fucking shamrock shake season baby i'm wondering if you put a little uh of that absolute vanilla into a shake watch out yeah but the shamrock shake is already vanilla what's the flavor of a shamrock shake vanilla with green it's mildly mildly minty if you really really really but it's not very minty it's really a vanilla shake with with a hint of mint and we just stirred that jameson in right

there was we didn't it's not infused or anything it's just stirred in we just stirred it in and we weren't going off of any it was just an inclination i had and then later we found out the people were doing that but it's there was no recipe or anything. That's a good inclination. That's good. But we'll do that for St. Patty's Day coming up. Oh, that's great. We should do it for St. Patrick's Day. That's what Tim just said.

Guys, I thought it was a new idea you just had. Hey, I got an idea. I'm going to repeat what Tim just said. Guys, I've added the cream and it helped. It diluted a little bit so that the vanilla and the coffee are not fighting. They're playing together. They're swirling around each other.

They're good bedfellows. It's a nice lubricant for them both. We forgot to make. This winter, we were supposed to make a ski-themed drink that I said was going to be like minty, creamy minty, minty creamy. We still have time for a ski drink. No, we have to get done with this IBA. We have two drinks left now after this.

Yeah, that's the big thing. When does ski season end? It stretches. In NorCal? You can go as late as you want. You know, in California, you can ski in the morning and surf in the afternoon. Is that true? Yeah. But good luck with the traffic. Yeah, right. Traffic. That's what it is. That's why what makes it tough.

The fucking traffic. Yeah. Oh, man. This is this is delicious delicious the way you were nodding tim i see i don't want to play the video i don't like video i'm against video but the way you were nodding reminded me of like a muppet thing i felt like a muppet i was thinking that too but like when somebody makes a point and they make a face and nod the other thing that they do that i love is like the open mouth like after a muppet makes a joke and then he leaves the mouth open and look around to everybody. Muppet stuff. Translates so well right into adulthood.

Like, you know, you think Muppets is like kids stuff. And if you watch it as an adult, it's great. But like, did you, if you know a Muppet, like I knew like a M a muppet guy i won't say his name but i think you guys knew him too in college like a like a guy who was like 21 and still had like muppet posters in his on his wall and you're like that's challenging for me to witness but i will admit that like when i watch muppet stuff that's challenging for me like trying not to fucking dunk on this guy it's taking every ounce of my effort i don't want to dunk on a dad who had to go to family therapy is like it's challenging for me when my son has a gonzo up in his wall when my son when my son has gonzo on the

wall i feel this way no in college and when we were in school you had to have the black and white poster or the two girls kissing or pulp fiction or or fight club miss piggy Piggy and a Calvin Klein ad. My brain thought that those two girls kissing were the girls from Tattoo. They're not. All the things she said. It's just a good photograph that got famous.

It's not all the things you said. It's not Tegan and Sarah either because they're sisters. Right. Right. Right. Right. I thought it was the cast of,

um, uh, simple life. With Paris and Nicole. Okay. Yeah. That's a good cast. Good cast.

Mike, are you still on your bad mic? Probably. I couldn't switch it. You're bad. I couldn't switch it. You're bad. I couldn't switch it, nor did I try. Bad to the bone. Well, let me help you out here, Jeff.

This is an order again for me. Hey, you transition on the blowout, not the main. But yeah, I would invite both of you to give your final thoughts. And what a blowout it was this week. We talked about most handsome guy. Oh, yeah. Crowning the most handsome guy oh yeah crowning the most handsome guy we picked him patreon.com slash the sloppy boys five dollars a month you get to hear your three boys do a better podcast than this one something we're actually interested

in yeah this is an order again for me uh i like both versions i've had and i will leave it up to the bartender i guess to same here and um i gotta say it's basically a poor man's espresso martini right like you know i could brew up a little drip coffee and kind of make a poor man's over here that's yeah that'd be fun for me but why oh boy uh no oh no he's gonna let it fly he's gonna blow fun fact before he sneezes no one can actually sneeze with their eyes open but here's i'm also in order again i think this is delicious but there's some caveats right which is uh the white russian for me i think the white russian is better than the black russian so it's so i would only only be ordering a black Russian if I'm not in the mood for cream. I think an espresso martini is more functional and helpful in my life than a black Russian because of the caffeine.

So I would only be ordering a black Russian when I don't want a caffeine fix. But when do I ever not want that caffeine fix? I guess right before bed, I would have a black Russian after dinner drink. There's your answer. After dinner. All day white Russians and then pivot to black at 11 p.m. The very last moment.

After a big dinner, you don't want a creamy drink. You don't want caffeine. You want a black Russian. Yes. It's an after dinner dessert drink. There you go. Take us out of here.

That's our show. Follow us on Patreon That's patreon.com Patreon.com slash the sloppy boys That's where you get the bonus show We talked about it, that's a good show That we put effort into and we care about More so than this show, The Lost Leader This show is in the way Where do you hang that term Jeff?

Is that a finance term or something? That's a business term Mike You gotta hang out with me, you learn a thing or two This show is basically just a tax shelter This is an illegitimate front This is a fake out to get the IRS off our case Yeah, it's a shell corporation It's a sham

Not oil, it's a shell game Shell brand oil We're going to the Cayman Islands We're going to start broadcasting from a vault And we ain't paying It's a sham. Not oil. It's a shell game. Shell brand oil. We're going to the Cayman Islands. We're going to start broadcasting from a vault. And we ain't paying no taxation without no representation. Until we get Trump in there. We ain't paying.

And guess what? We ain't telling the combo for this vault. Neither. That's how we're going to keep all the cash. Because that's where we keep the cash. That we keep the cash in the vault. You want the code? You got to one of us You gotta be one of us Good show guys

Really funny I feel like we were all funny and I was so funny You were on fire bro This was great, everyone did great And great show, those of you listening at home You're part of this And you know what, now we're going to take you out with The song of the week, Sloppy Boy

song of the week, Tom Collins. Unless, did a different song come up? Oh, right, right, right. What did we talk about? We talked about coffee. I need to look at our songs. I need to look at the songs. I told a LensCrafter story. Do we have any LensCrafter songs? No.

No, we don't have any songs specifically about LensCrafters. Coffee, LensCrafters songs? No. No, we don't have any songs specifically about LensCrafters. Coffee, LensCrafters. Well, what are some of our songs? Tom Collins. I'll pick Tom Collins for this one, and then one of you guys can do next week. Great. Okay. Tom Collins.

Bye, folks. Bye, folks. Bye. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. To be continued... I sent a friend on a bus to say thanks for the suds He gave a great buzz to me and my buds I sent a PayPal to the great gals at the Costco store And the lady with the grape tree on the vineyard tour All I wanna do is show my gratitude And if I ever meet Tom Collins, I'd like to shake his hand

You got me drunk, man You got me sloshed, dude You got me tanked, Tommy You got me plot, old buddy boy Oh, you got me Right where you want me In the drunk tank Home sweet home

I go to hell and back for a Sazerac In the drunk tank! Home sweet home! I go to hell and back for a Sazerac. Oh, I thank you warmly for a dark and stormy. I'd slip you a fiber for another screwdriver. And leave a Mondo tip for a mid-julip. If you know what I mean, I know you know what I mean. And if I ever meet Tom Collins I'll kiss him on the lips And squeeze his little hips

Do some twirls and dips Hold him in my grips To thank him for the sips Because they got me Oh yeah, they got me Three sheets to the wind Land ho Cause they got me. Oh yeah, they got me. Three sheets to the wind. Land ho. I'll send an edible arrangement to my travel agent

Cause they had free booze on my carnival cruise Hey kid, can you tell me what's Australian for beer? And then what's Australian for puke? Cause I just chundered here. If you know what I mean. Dear God, do you know what I mean? And if I ever meet Tom Collins, we'll have to get a room. And I'll make him my groom.

With a big house full of children And a future that we're building We'll grow old, God willing Cause you got me Oh yeah, you got me Got me drunk now, Tom Now time!