The Sloppy Boys - 195. Pina Colada Corona

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

The guys make the in-the-bottle cocktail that's swept social media by storm... but is it Drink of the Summer material?PINA COLADA CORONA RECIPE12oz bottle CORONA2oz/60ml WHITE RUM1oz/30ml COCONUT CREAM*to top PINEAPPLE JUICEDrink down the neck of a bottle of Corona. Add rum, coconut cream and pineapple juice. Gently tilt to mix. Garnish with a slice of lime.*Coco Real or Coco Lopez recommended.Recipe via Tiktok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hello, big things, big things. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, huge things stylies big things coming watch this space folks big we're the sloppy boys we're your hosts and this is gonna be a nice easy one today take it easy yeah you've been running around all summer all

July you're going crazy out there just relax with us this is a big pivot though we were saying big things huge things take it easy well my big things huge things are all personal it has nothing to do with this band yeah yeah okay well then quickly let me lead with big things that are huge things for the listeners of this podcast and then we'll chill then but i want to get to my big things too yeah i want to hear about your big things. Yeah. I feel inquisitive about them. Oh, God, you sound like my, hmm, what kind of doctor would help someone who has big, huge, swollen balls? I want a doctor to say, I want to hear about those big things. I think that's the Kohane doctor.

Hey, wait a minute. Remember when Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend had big balls from the COVID vaccine? Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. That was huge news. We got to follow up with him. Yeah, yeah.

I've gotten bigger. I just got the latest. I got the latest booster the other day And it happened to me Okay hold on big things Everybody on earth Unless you've been living under a rock Already knows that we're playing in Chicago At IO for IO Fest

On July 25th we're going to do our First ever live podcast And then after that separate event We're going to do our first ever live podcast. And then after that separate event, we're going to do a rock and roll concert and we're going to fucking burn that fucking house down. Everyone knows that, right? Capisce? Yeah, they know that.

How are the tickets selling on that? I think those are going pretty quick, folks. So get on it. It's a low ticket alert. Yes. We're not sounding the alarms. We're just saying it's a low ticket alert this is the first time i saw the first time i ever saw a low ticket alert someone was like

posting it with like explanation point exclamation points and i was like wait are they're announcing that they're not selling much tickets they need help i was like oh the tickets left or low wonderful ticket surplus alert get many seats go ahead wait what isn't it was it real big fish that had a live album called tickets still available and it's like them on stage in an empty stadium anyway we can't talk about real big fish live albums all night because i said everyone knows about the chicago thing and everyone from the whole midwest is basically flying to town for that. But we have a special treat for the West Coasters, because we're announcing right now that August 15th, Thursday, August 15th,

at El Cid, our beloved Spanish restaurant in Silver Lake, California, we're going to be playing a concert there. And, folks, it is the Summer Jam Slam 2024 baby it's happening whoa they're bringing back the Summer Jam Slam it's back the Summer Jam Slam is back bitch we're gonna have maybe a a contest giveaway who knows what we're gonna give away there's gonna be a beach ball inflated at one point probably oh nice at one point then we're gonna get that out of there so no one gets hurt this is the great thing about no one gets bonked i don't want the ball hitting the equipment mostly okay we're gonna put the beach ball on a

zip line fly it from the back of the room to the front of the room then we're gonna have a stage and take it away into the nobody touch it nobody touched the beach ball when it's in transit we had a big party at fredonia fest at our birthday boy's house and it was all day concerts people in the backyard and everything and i got a bunch of beach balls and threw them in the back and our backyard was kind of like uh almost kind of like penned in there was like a fence and i was on the upper level animal pen and i threw a bunch of beach balls in there which i thought would be so fun and they just went all over the place and like hitting people in the face and I was on the upper level animal pen. And I threw a bunch of beach balls in there, which I thought would be so fun. And they just went all over the place and were like hitting people in the face.

And it was too small of an area for that type of thing. But people had fun with it. I at least did at that party. Um, our friend Ben was like, Hey Tim, do you want to feel like a God? And I was like,

yeah, he's like, uh, he, I just ordered these pizzas. You take, take half a stack of these pizzas and walk through that party and, and,

uh, open, open up the pizzas and say free pizzas. And he was so, I walk, this is like midnight. I walk in, I open the top of the,

that's just like dominoes or whatever. I opened the top of a pizza. I say, Hey everybody, we got pizza. And I saw eight hands reach in, in unison, eight hands,

grab eight slices. The whole thing went up and away all at once. It was like, whoosh. Whoa. It wasn't even like slice, slice, slice. It was just like, yoop. And then I opened another box. It was like, yoop, yoop.

Cool. Damn. I guess I felt like a god. The opposite. I was walking through. I was like, hey, folks, cucumber salad. Anyone? It's room temp.

Nasty stuff. Come on, folks. Get your greens. I was met with hands, Tim, cucumber salad. Anyone? It's room temp. Come on folks, get your greens. I was met with hands, Tim, like you, but they were in the form of the middle finger sign. Ugh. Sign. Yes, that hand shape we all hate to see. We all hate to see that shape. Ooh, they hit me with that shape.

Mike, you don't make friends with salad, you know? That's going to be the vibe of the Summer Jam Slam, but the thing is that we love El Cid because they have sangria. Maybe you're even eating chips. Tim, they used to have good chips. They're gone, right? They don't do the chips anymore.

That was like the main thing. We'll bring chips. We're going to have Doritos. I'm going to bring, I'm going to buy five. I'm going to say this right now, folks. I'm buying five bags of doritos and i'm giving them out to five lucky fans five small bags three small bags 3d ones that my parents gave us oh no those were lays tim we'll see what's on sale okay wow um fucking speaking of chips remember right a block away from el sid there used to be a Mexican restaurant called Malo.

And they used to, when you ordered chips and guac, they would say, hard or soft. Oh, yeah. And they were like bendy. So weird, but good. Yeah. A nice gummy chip. It's funny because when I get hard chips, I don't like when a basket of chips shows up and they're all like sopping wet.

They all got that glisten. Sure, you get the occasional glistener. But you know, when you get a whole thing and it's just like wet chips, I'm like, ugh. You like to look forward to the occasional glistener if they're all that wet. I think a chip that is glistened at one point,

but salt was added. Now that it is dried and the salt remains. Yes, now it's drying out. Now, I was expecting that to be the the um soft chip scenario the soft chips were like completely different i had them with brett butler who i'm sure is listening they're just like not fried all the way they're still fried but they're just lightly fried half fried so they got a little flop to them a little dough to them okay i got a funny question t i got a t o for a second brb okay and then we'll move on to a new topic or whatever topic we want well i'll keep talking um please uh

well a i was gonna say a funny joke which was uh that before i make love i say hard or soft uh in reference to my penis but i'm not gonna make that joke because it's crude but what i am gonna say jeff if we start calling our listeners glisteners oh that's good i don't i've never heard that before tim let's shout out to all the glisteners oh that's all our podcast glisteners and it's kind of like glittery glitter uh uh bedazzled uh uh mcbling yes we're dying without mike here jesus i'm surprised none of the pop girlies have jumped on glisteners hey it's pop girly summer and i'm into it man don't you feel uh i'll tell you what vindicated in a way pop charts right now i think i get a lot of flack from our glisteners about how i about my my top 40

pop taste in music but sure um right but it's give me this really good pop chart at the moment like go to the top 10 and it's like if you if you like uh i mean it's like what's i love chapel roan and then i'm having fun with Sabrina Carpenter and stuff like that. And, and, uh, fucking brat is a Charlie XCX and the Lord. But then even beyond that, like if I'm going through the top 10 on like Spotify, then you get to like, usually when you're flipping through that,

then we get to hip hop song. And in the old days it would be one I didn't know, but now it's like, uh, like Kendrick dis and Drake. And I'm like, I know, I know this song. And I'm, and I know the context of I've, it's like, I don't know. They stuck around those diss tracks. Well, he, he, he did that song six times at his LA forum show. Right. And then he did a video like way after the, the initial impact. So it's like, it's going to be around for a bit. You for a bit you're right man um the the pop girls are in full effect and it's funny that charlie is by no means new but i saw an article that was saying like like wow the pop girls are like these people are stars

now chapel tate mcrae charlie xcx and everybody in the comments was just like whoa whoa whoa charlie's been a bona fide star now for about 10 years but right i do think they're right in the same way that i remember taking umbrage that they anointed uh johnny depp to be an a-lister when pirates came out because i was like he's been headlining movies for like 10 years but now everybody and their grandmother knows only indies my boy yeah in the indies now it's like main stage blockbuster here comes johnny depp and i feel like it's not it's not that uh charlie got more accessible it's that the world caught up to charlie finally yes and also charlie doesn't she kind of i feel like she flirts with goes back i think she can be a girlie. And then there's other times she wants to take a step back and be like,

I'm the interesting indie pop girlie. And then there's other times it's like, well, now I'm back and I'm on the Barbie soundtrack, you know? And like, and like very angular pop, uh, hyper pop, like weird club music. Like she'll kind of dabble in both. It's funny. Cause I really do love crash or like poppy pop uh albums but um

wait the the dave matthews album michael i'm with i'm with you man come on i'm agreeing with you anyway mike welcome back you missed it you missed a big revelation mike thank you i i had a delivery i had to pick up some my delivery the glisteners the sloppy boys the sloppy boys listeners are now referred to as glisteners. Oh, that's fun. What do you think? What do you think of that? Hi, glisteners.

I love it. Because they're sweaty from the sun or they've been dipped in chip grease? Sort of the chip grease. Gotcha. They're a greasy bunch. I need to make a point of getting into Charlie XCX and Lana Del Rey because we talked about that album Lana Del Rey has on the Apple Top 100 albums, and I was like, what the hell?

And you guys said it was good. I need to get into it. I'm going to try it out. But here's what you do, Mike. It's smart to do them both at the same time because Charlie is upbeat. She's a brat. She's poppy. Then you're dipping in for lana for some you know like we said a lot of rules but it's it's uh it brings you down it's she's crooning and she's in the sort of sad and it's down you're so maybe that's more of a fall time i listen to that no no i say do have a have a lot of summer

i just don't want you to be depressed so i think you want to go up and down and up and down. Yeah, you get sort of a sonic speedball. You get the up and the down. Yeah, a little going back and forth. Do you guys want to hear about my big stuff? Yes, you went to Mexico and we want to hear about it. Big thing. Well, I got three then. Number one is Mexico.

Okay, I went to Mexico for a wedding. Had a fantastic time with this little beach surf town. I'm not going to talk about too much here because I want to talk about it on the blowout where we talk about tank tops this week. Nice. Folks, if you want to hear about my Mexico trip, find me on the blowout. Subscribe. Patreon.com slash the sloppy

boys. $5 a month. You hear a whole different episode of show every week and it's actually fun. That's right. Oh, they know they know tim that the sloppy the sloppy summer sales event is in full swing yeah yes jeff tell them about it oh they already know they they heard it on wednesday we got them hook line and so because we have a commercial that's been airing yes that's yeah and like as of this week they're getting them they're getting the free five if you're not hooked by that. And folks, those are just five free ones.

But you know what? We have years and years of good ones behind the wall. Yes. And just in case anyone's been living under a rock, basically, when you look at your main feed on your normal podcast app to listen to the Sloppy Boys show, we've been also all July long giving away freebies of our subscription only show. Free of charge. Mm-hmm. Mm- charge. Free of charge.

Listen to that and love it. That one's on the arm. Now. Okay. Now here's my other big thing. Check this out. Watch. I just got a watch.

Okay. This was presented very intensely to us. It's a Timex. It's very simple. It's just got the numbers. It's an analog. And it's got the day of the date on it. That's good.

You can't, on a podcast, you can't just say watch. You have to say watch. Hold it up. I gotta watch. I am, for the time being, I'm a watch guy now. No more looking at your phone to know what time. That's, Jeff, exactly what it was. I was at this wedding, which, again, I'm not talking about much here.

But I was at this wedding, and I kept popping my phone out. It happens all the time. You pull your phone out. What's the time? You start opening the apps. I'm mapping. I'm mapping. I'm checking this.

I'm loving it. Oh, what's new on Pornhub? Oh, there's a new video on Pornhub that I've never even seen. I'm loving what's new on Pornhub Oh there's a new video on Pornhub that I've never even seen Loving everyone's posts on Pornhub I'm hearting every video I see on Pornographyhub.com Just to make sure they know you like it Loved it loved the cum shot

But no yeah then you get into the thing And I said to myself Mike And then I don't even remember what time I fucking looked at. So I said, figure out this problem. I did some problem solving, got myself a little cheap little Timex watch. Yes, it's 30 meters water resistant. Sure, you check the time, it's 1247.

After you're done with the apps, it's 141? Jeff, I'm fucking with you, man. That's a little time warp, man. Yeah, so that's it. I'm a watch guy now. We'll see if it lasts. I think it could. It could be a big deal.

I'm a watch watcher. I'm a watch watcher. That's you. Oh. And this doesn't mean I'm like, I'm going and buying Rolexes or the Tag Hears. I'm just sticking with the Timex or the other ones I have. I have a couple of watches, but they're all in different states of disrepair. Now, another big thing I got.

Meal and you heard on our last episode is going to love this. You guys know what this is? Oh, is it a seat? Oh my God. A wedge for your seat and for your back? It's a computer chair seat. It's a whole computer chair seat. Meal and suggested getting a branch.

And I got one. A branch brand chair. But should we even say maybe let's bleep that because I don't want to give branch this free advertising. Well, maybe branch will see a bump and say, where'd that bump come from? Oh, it's the Sloppy Boys podcast. Let's give them money. You know where I hold? I don't see a bump in my seat cushion of my new brinch chair okay we won't say branch we'll say brinch yeah brinch brinch chairs are doing it right you gotta

pay us if you want us to pronounce it correctly i'm so excited to have like a good chair because i i find myself in my you know trying to write and I will give myself every excuse to get up and not write but the more practical one is like oh my fucking back and neck are killing me because I've been working this weird like lopsided chair so that's it I thought it would be okay so

so that was the big three it was Mexico it was watch and it was charge that's right Jeff what do you got I got fucking nothing dude So that was the big three. It was Mexico, it was watch, and it was charge. That's right. Jeff, what do you got? I got fucking nothing, dude. Goose egg. I didn't know we were all bringing big shit in.

This was show and tell day, I thought. I thought this was buy big stuff. Well, I'll tell you, I mean, my big project lately was getting the tanks, the tank tops. But that's, again, one of those things. You got to slip behind the paywall folks it's gonna cost you five bucks yeah yeah well let's not remind them of the price it's just you gotta go behind the paywall i noticed that with a lot of websites i go to buy something the price isn't even talked about until the very end and i said well i can't buy this the price is insinuated in the word paywall. Yeah.

Pay little wall. I noticed this with the chair. I got a blue, navy blue chair. My watch has a navy blue face on it. And I'm wearing this blue shirt. You're like a navy guy. I go through these phases. I don't even realize it.

Jeff, let me finish my thought. I don't even realize. Like, I remember you. When I get out of fucking rolling, you gotta let me talk yeah no i let you talk believe me listing the number of blue possessions you have i know you don't understand i was making a bigger point mike i remember you uh were awarded a free jacket at one point and uh and uh they said send him these options these sizes and colors and i said well i'll tell you right now he's getting a blue large and uh that's right that's exactly what he did that that coat jeff that you that you uh sort of brokered for me i love that i can't wait till it gets cold again

but i was gonna say i know i i did jeff I was being rude there as a joke. I know it was a joke, and I know it was rude. We laughed. I know, but that may have been a nervous laugh. Now Jeff's like, oh, Mike's this big hot shot guy with a watch and a chair. I'll just say whatever he wants. You're worried Jeff is so jealous of you that it's going to get between your friendship. But this happened to me a few years ago.

I was, I moved into a new apartment and I was like, I need just like stuff around like little things in my home and everything I bought, I didn't even realize it was like kind of like mint green. And I was like, oh, I got all this stuff. So I'm apparently I'm on a blue kick right now. Nice. Especially in the bathroom. A lot of, a lot of that mint green sneaks in,

huh? Yeah. And I told you about my, I figured, I figured my shower up. I would Mike, Mike's bathroom. I seen a lot of yellow and brown in there,

but anyway, I was going to say, um, not all over the place. It's one spot. Um, yeah, one spot,

but piled high. Um, I sometimes when I'm trying to avoid one color, we'll do the, I used to buy a lot of Navy blue clothing and I was like, Tim, stop. And then for a year, everything I bought was maroon or like burgundy. And then more recently, I think of you as maroon and burgundy. Yeah.

He's wearing maroon right now. I'm wearing it right now. But then I was like, Tim, enough, uh, maroon, enough Navy blue. And then I had a whole forest green era. Who could forget? They're all all those are all pretty boring i like that you went into like a minty blue rather than i'm just doing kind of these dark tones jewel tones the panettone catalog tim is you get go as far as your heart desires wow yeah what's the word you said panettone panettone panettone panettone it's like the the official like like an italian cake and an italian big uh you're thinking about i don't think pantoliano i don't know no this is what is this jeff it's

like a it's like all the color catalog but like they all have like their own numbers it's like exactly that color yeah and like they'll even have like color forecasters like people in fashion will be like millennial pink is dipping what's going to be the new millennial pink folks it's coral coral is the new hot color wow the zoomers love coral Coral That's not unlike my mint My mint green That's a good one

A couple years ahead I think Alright do we get into some fucking Oh go ahead I was just going to say Sometimes I wonder if Younger generations are looking to me For trends But I don't think so

I wouldn't worry about it I just wonder Every so often I wouldn't lose sleep over it, Mike. You know, Mike, don't even waste time wondering. Yeah, I'll just let that one, it comes in one ear, boom, gone. All right, do we get into some booze news, please? Bip, bip, booze news, hit it.

Great. Take a week off. Come back with your, the hardest. With your greatest booze news yet. With the greatest. Top yourself, Evan. Hey, Evan, the hardest. With your greatest booze news yet. With the greatest top yourself, Evan. Hey, Evan. Wow us. Wow us. Wow us. Wow us.

Wow us. Wow us. Dazzle me. Booze news. Wow us. Booze news. Wow us. Booze news. And you better not disappoint us. Evan, you gotta get out, man. Wow us. Evan, you gotta get out, man. Dazzle me disappoint us Evan you gotta get out man Evan you gotta get out man

Dazzle me Hey good job on that booze news drop It's booze news you sloppy brats Oh wow that was great Sloppy brat was sent to us by Evan Cohen And if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast At gmail.com Guys once again, I

didn't even, I picked that theme and I forgot there was a Charlie XCX song. And then we were naturally talking. Oh, in the show is the moment.

What was the, uh, how's the Charlie XCX song? I'm so Julia. Oh, girl, girl, girl. I don't know what I don't know. Mike, you're so girl. I don't know it. I don't know it. Mike, you're so Julia. I know.

Julia, Julia Roberts. Now, is she saying Julia Fox as in Ye's old girlfriend? Yeah, she's like internet it girl. She is the moment. Snap, snap, snap. Uncut jobs. Uncut jobs. Oh, geez. Icut Joms. Uncut Joms. Oh, jeez.

I got to check. This is going to be exciting music for me because I have no idea what this is going to sound like. You spend your whole day looking at monkeys in suits driving cars and stuff. Riding horses. They can't fuck it. I can't get away from those things because I click on every one. That's the problem. I can't get any of them. I'm trying to get on that train.

Um, okay. Here's some very, very exciting booze news. Um, last week, uh, Jeff,

you were in New York for a job. You're, you're hanging out with Mike, Mike and Jeff in New York together. Oh, we're doing this. Oh, we're doing that.

Oh, that was too short lived. Yeah, it was. Hey together. Oh, we're doing this. Oh, we're doing that. Oh, that was too short lived. Yeah, it was. Hey, Jeff, we overlapped for like a day. I had to, because I went on a ton. What a day. That was a good, nice long night. We could have done so much in this city.

What did you do? We met up with Mookie and hung out. We went to the Blue and Gold Bar. Oh, yeah. Which was, I was excited because I was like i'm gonna go to a new york bar what's it gonna be like and it's ithaca thankfully yeah ithaca colors uh the colors of the 90s x-men teens blue and gold we're all very excited about that and then i walk in and it's like a wood panel christmas lights down and dirty bar so cheap mike was so. It was so cheap. Thank you.

I called ahead and said, you know what? Let's set the prices low tonight. We got some friends coming in. And then we went to asparagus pizza. No, no, no. Artichoke pizza. Oh, yeah. That was great. Boy, we got some big piece of pizza that day, didn't we?

Oh, yeah. Jesus. They're thick as hell. I like that. That pizza, one slice fills you up. Yep. Yeah. And then some. And makes you burp. And it was hot and sprinkling. Ugh. I like that. That pizza, one slice fills you up. Yeah, and then some. And it makes you

burp. And it was hot and sprinkling. Ugh. Summer nights. Alright, what were we talking about? Booze News. New York. While you guys were eating your big slices of pizza and being rained on, you probably think, Tim's not up to anything

back in LA. Right, no, we didn't. Yeah, I thought maybe because we were, since we were together, you may just kind of like power down for the week. Charge mode wrong yet again, because a very big thing happened. Something we've been tracking for a long time came to fruition while we were out of town.

I attended the premiere of the documentary film the dawn of tiki the dawn the beach comer story at the chinese theater in hollywood can you believe really i hope you took a picture or two tim because that's cool um you know i don't think i actually did take a picture because i didn't want to be glued to my mobile like you on the fucking mexico wedding but now i got the watch i got the watch but when when the film is out uh digitally for everyone to see i feel like we should do a patreon blowout episode yeah yeah yeah yeah that's good there was one very specific thing that i wanted to share i watched the movie i i liked it and i learned all about don the Beachcomber's life, the bartender who invented the concept of tiki in the 30s. But one thing that I wanted to bring into Boo's News about it is that the film didn't have any Trader Vic talk.

And the film didn't really have any Mai Tai scandal talk. Those guys were like contemporary sort of rivals a little bit right right because interesting choice on his part just to not acknowledge or not not on his part but the people who made the doc like we're not going to get into the famous rivalry we're going to just pretend that this person doesn't exist not give him the time of day i like i do like to think of don the beach comer in the editing sessions be like maybe we take out the stuff about greater i hate that i just want to see a cut um last year on this podcast we covered the mai tai twice right we first we did the the trader vick mai tai and we did the don the beachcomber mai tai and yeah the thing was like don the beachcomber in la invented tiki but then trader vick from

oakland kind of like was inspired by don beach and you could say he was like ripping off his thing but then the the story is that he came up with the Mai Tai and then Don later said no no no I had a Mai Tai it was just my own version and then he ripped it off for me so it's been this unresolved thing and we talked about it on the show about like the differences between the Trader Vic one and the Don one and what's the deal so I feel like I thought like by by being at this there was a Q&A after the movie and there was there was no talk about this in the movie but i wanted to share that during the q a someone raised their hand and asked this question they were like hey there was no trader vick or my tie talk in the doc and then

and they were like they're like yeah yeah we we had some stuff and we talked about it you know there's some footage but we didn't really think it was worth it to put in the final cut of this film and then someone was like so why not i mean like everyone always talks about is it with the mai tai is it trader vick is it don the beachcomber like what's the deal and then these filmmakers they like looked at each other and then one of them goes trader vick invented the mai tai and he it was like he had just spent four years making a movie about don the beachcomber he's like but he's like and i think that this of the sources on earth, this is the guy who's probably the most entrenched in it. He was like, we talked to everybody.

Look, look, Don's got his own thing. He's very much influenced, but it does seem like Trader Vic invented the Mai Tai that we know and love. And even Don's version is probably Don trying to ape Trader Vic after the fact. Look, that's not a smudge on Don the Beachcomber. That's fine. Trader Vic and have a win yeah i'm trying to think of other versions of this where someone oh how about me last month i went to the anchor bar in uh well actually no i actually really liked it but but in the buffalo wing world right lots of people are like anchor bar invented wings but then duff's wings are better

or something like that so you don't just because you didn't originate thing something doesn't steal your fowler yeah you still do yeah i agree with that tim uh fuck you were just saying something that made me is the lady from uh tonga hut up there yeah she's she's there she's great she did a very nice like concisely says what don did is he took the uh you know polynesian aesthetic and combined it with jamaican cocktails and um um well what's and the type of Chinese food. Not Hunan, not Sichuan, not Mandarin. Starts with a C. I was just asking you about this, I think, Tim,

what the different types of Chinese foods were. Cantonese? Yes! Because Don Beach, when he had, the city made him have food, because during that era where you couldn't just be a bar, so he moved across the street into what was a Cantonese restaurant and then started incorporating a Cantonese menu. is kind of making that point of like this guy took you know like like uh polynesia jamaica and cantonese food and created something that we have 100 years later i wonder what jamaican cocktails are like like what's the rum base dark rum rum lime sugar players ah yeah yeah right right right so every every don the beachcomber drink and really every Tiki drink starts with planters punch and builds from there. Hmm.

Did they, um, did they, did they want to talk? It's got juice cane. Juice cane. That was a Harry, um,

yeah. Styles. Harry Styles. Why do I want to say Harry Shearer? They're two very similar guys harry shearer and harry styles yeah um uh i do i like those documentary documentarians uh like you know a documentarian is trying to tell truth or whatever and they were like yeah it was the other guy they didn't say like oh we couldn't find that out. Yeah. It's nice to have something definitive.

Now I can sleep at night. Yes. But yeah, well, I'll let you all know when the film is out wide release and then we'll have all the glisteners watch it and we'll talk about it. How did you get, how did you get a, did you get an invite? No, I was just following their Instagram and then me and Jessica just bought tickets and went went to it and uh you should be you should be like on the fucking panel up there you should be a guest honor i want to keep a low profile i didn't want to hey everything no no no although when i was there it was a film festival event and then there was um you know uh matt mazzani uh a comedy guy yeah his short film was in this festival and Mitch is in that film.

So I was waiting in the Tiki line, but I was seeing Scott Gairdner and all these comedy guys that I knew. And I thought they were there for the Tiki movie, but they were there to see Mitch's short. We have songs in that. Mazzani just sent it to us.

Oh shit. Because we have some songs in it. He probably thought you were there to see it. And you were like, nah, I'm checking up. No, I'm good. He said it 40 minutes ago.

I really owned the Chinese theater that night. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. You're damn right. You did. Well, is that it for booze news?

Wrap it up. We're not worthy. We're not worthy. Yes. And with that out of the way, with all that out of the way, we turn our attention to the chill fucking drink of the day. Oh, yeah. The piña colada corona you've had.

No. Excited to. I have had. Jeffern, Jefferson, dish the dirt. Jeffern. Well, I saw a very viral TikTok. Very viral TikTok. And then

I was helping my girlfriend move in, install shelves, drilling holes, hanging curtains, all this stuff. And she said, I'm going to make this drink. And you love doing that stuff right jay oh yeah jeff i'd love you to come over and help me with this branch chair and you know we struggled to find the right uh coconut stuff um i believe we use coco lopez but

i'm but this time it's gonna go a little bit for me coco lopez is good i love coco lopez there were like different kinds though there are oh of coco lopez yeah shit or maybe i didn't get coco lopez there was like wait i have coco real same thing that's what i'm using today yeah okay and that's what i'm using today and that's what's in the viral videos but the can of coco lopez is so delicious i love that yeah i remember that for some things. I don't want to get too far into the ingredients just yet, but I will say my takeaway was these are delicious, but watch out because they'll kind of knock you on your ass. Like,

I feel like three of these, you're like done. Oh yeah. Yeah. This is a thing to keep in mind with any beer based cocktail or champagne based cocktail. Like you're adding, you know, when we had the french

75 we got kind of drunk and we're like i thought this was like a laid-back brunch drink like a mimosa but it's like no a mimosa is adding orange juice to your booze uh a french 75 is adding a gin sour to your to your moves um but yeah so i mean basically over the last year or so there have been a million beer bottle based cocktails in the wake of the spaghet um and they're in my feed all the bottle base um oh that's a booze news theme sometimes you're dripping juice sometimes you're pouring tomorrow i want to feel there was a gross one that a slob head did can you remember wasn't there one of the um someone was tagging us in a disgusting one uh that was like a potato drip but it was a potato beer or something i'll look into

that anyway but so um we see this stuff all the time but but a couple of months ago, I'm out there living my life. Hey, everybody, how's it going? What is up? And then what tends to happen suddenly? Ow! My balls! Getting those alerts, those painful, painful alerts. Everybody was tagging me in this viral video and sending

me this video. I assume it's the one that you saw, Jeff, from two months ago from Tim the Tank, a cocktail influencer. I brought the clip. Hit it. One of the best drinks you'll ever have, and it is so easy to make. Pina Colada Corona. Let me show you how to make it. First, we're going to crack open our Corona, pour out about half of it into a glass. You can also slam it if you prefer to. Add back in two ounces of white rum. These might taste delicious, but don't let them fool you, because one too many, you're gonna be riding a wild unicorn through Hogwarts by the end of the night.

Add in an ounce of coconut cream, not to be confused with the stuff that your dad gave your mom when they made you. Finish the rest off with pineapple juice. Cover the top and tip this up and down a few times. We got a squirter, ladies and gentlemen. And garnish with the lime wedge. Finally, let's take a sip and try this out, cheers. Okay, this guy is filthy, that's all I know. I'm not kidding you, this might be one of the best drinks

I've ever made. It tastes like if pina colada and beer made love while looking out at a sunset on a beachfront. In other words, it's perfection. Try this out with your friends and family, and they're going to be obsessed with this. Do you think that guy wrote those jokes? I was hired. They put together a room, and I was in there. I wrote those jokes, yeah.

No, but I mean, like, is he an influence? Like, does he have a a room and I was in there. I wrote those jokes. Yeah. No, but I mean like, like, uh, influence, influence, like, does he have a lot of, I don't know, but like, uh,

those seem like lines that he had written. Oh yeah. He thinks it's the wrong thing here, obviously, but interesting. Those specific jokes were like, why do every one of those rub me? So exactly the wrong way.

It's kind of like my least favorite. He's talking about putting a material in your drink. Ugh. And just like his little self-satisfied placid smile, like the influencer. Oh, God. His voice, his face irritate me. And then these jokes are just like awful. I was so happy to see in the comments that people were like,

great drink. Could lose the attempts at comedy, though. People say that to me about this podcast. About the hand slammer? Mike, i have continued making hand slammers i'm making hand slammers for any good it's needs to drink in the summer i it's got my vote keep making them and and and keep doing variations let's let's have more you can have bee sting what else can you do i can't i actually haven't even tried the bee sting oh no I did what you would love it anyway this video was viral but then there's also a lot of other you're seeing uh there's a lot of you know like once one thing happens then every cocktail influencer is making I couldn't tell if at first if this guy invented the drink or he was just jumping on the bandwagon and I searched around and there's a lot of different

people pretty much making the same exact video, both influencers and just normal people making it. Then I found that he had posted this like months earlier, just with a less viral results. But it does kind of, I guess this guy, Tim, the tank would be credited with his drink. Cause I'm seeing there's, there were other people who have poured like pineapple rum or like coconut rum into it.

There's a lot of different variations on things you could do with your Corona, but the, the TikTok trend, everyone seems to be using his spec, like the, the amount of ounces and stuff like that so i do think that this is the dude um and as as he said in that video but just to recap

you need a bottle of corona two ounces of white rum one ounce of coconut cream he uses coco real but you could also use you know uh lobesoco Lopez and then pineapple juice at the top. And he says, sip or pour out. Come on, you know you got to sip. Pour out? He says about half. Okay. Seems like a lot.

Too much. Yeah, that seems like you're going to be then topping up with too much pineapple, dude. Add rum, coconut cream, finish the rest with pineapple juice. Cover the top and tip it up and down a couple times and garnish with a lime wedge. Is that optional or has that got to be in there? It's optional. You're not going to go to jail, Mike. I think that, you know, typically you get a Corona and everyone's just putting lime in there.

So this is your option to not. Cut yourself a nice slim wedge. You get too chunky a wedge. It's not going in that ball. But I think I say, leave the lime at home. You don't need this. This time you don't need the,

or that, but then when we did pina colada on the pod, there was lime in that recipe. So you want to sharpen it up, give it a little sharpen it up. I want to do the full thing here. The, I don't,

do you guys, when you guys get a Corona, are you, or Takate right away with the lime in there? Is that kind of like a must-have type thing? I take one sip just to remind myself what the cerveza tastes like, and then I squeeze.

Tim likes a nice solid base. I'm back on the beer, man. Sometimes I'll come back from a jog really thirsty, and instead of water, I chug down a bottle of beer. That's what Arnold does. That's what Arnold does.

And he and I have very similar physiques. Yes, yes. Now you're getting it. Yeah. I'll say also that I don't know if you need a full two ounces. I'll do it for round one, but as somebody who likes the drink, enjoys the drink, wants to have that third one, you could do an ounce and a half.

You could do one ounce. You'll be all right. Well, I like that we got you. You are kind of the expert here, Jeff. You've had a couple. Of rum? Of rum. Yeah.

An ounce and a half. Okay. Sounds like something that we'll experiment with in round two. It sure does. Also, kind of funny. We're recording early in the day today, earlier than usual, and it's kind of funny if I get tanked right now, but I guess I'll do it. Sure. Well, you ate a big breakfast, didn't you?

Guess what I had? Sous vide egg bites? Yes. What was it? I had the kale mushroom sous vide egg bites from Starbucks. Delicious. Oh, nice. Oh, Tim, I saw that you got posted on, I think,

Los Feliz or... Yes, Hot Goss on Hillhurst. Hot Goss on Hillhurst. And not the first time, if I remember. Hot Goss on Hillhurst, that's right. Well, one time I told them that there was a new Shawarma truck in the neighborhood, but then also one time I just DM'd them.

I was like, hey, do you know the name of the new taco stand by Albertsons? And then they blasted I just DM'd them. I was like, hey, do you know the name of the new taco stand by Albertsons? And then they like blasted it out to the community. But it was funny because she like crossed out my name, but you could still see my picture there. So I was getting a lot of people. I love that account. Los Feliz Neighborhood Council, Los Feliz Village, all the Los Feliz Instagrams are. There's a nice little community grown over here.

Do you know who runs those or are they? She's anonymous, but she's been a guest on the Los Feliz podcast with Morgan Murphy. So I've heard her voice, but I don't think she has revealed herself. Her true identity. Sort of a Beverly mysterious. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised if they are one in the same. On the breakfast tip real quick, Mike, I was staying in your neighborhood in Brooklyn. As you know, I went to bagel pub bagel pub every day oh yeah getting that big cream cheese it was good i had some of your favorite creamy cheeses um what i did the chipotle cream cheese on an egg everything bagel damn you think there's everything would be everything no no no there's whole wheat everything there's egg everything egg everything you get that nice orange uh bodied bagel with all the crap on top that's the one i'm starting to understand lauren hill's song now everything is everything that thing um you know you joke but one time i was at bagel pub and i bumped into jeremy levick

i was with you yeah i was there too and i think jeff was there too yeah but you joke you joke yeah we do joke i think neil was even there man the whole pod contingency was there all right folks we're gonna go make these drinks and when we come back first sips. Wait, are we going to do like a little live top up or something? It feels like there's something to be done here. Hmm. Sure.

Should we top up with our juices right at the end? At least a live lime. Well, but Jeff, now I got to do it upside down and flip it. I'm going to get it all over the computer. I'm doing this in the kitchen. No, you put your thumb over it. I did Tim. I've done it before,

man. I'm a mess with these flips, man. Okay. So we're, we're, we're returning with the drink fully made. Okay,

great. That is my plan. Folks. We'll see you in a bit, right after the ads. and we're back piña colada coronas in hand and we'll talk about that name in a little bit I got a

corona premiere oh is that like their mcultra fancy pants yeah it's a 90 cals 2.6 carbs keto here we go again it's you know you know no you know you know i'm doing abs by august and there's only one way to get there keeping the carb count low keeping the carb count low tim let's see yours i didn't get a good look at it. Oh, Jeff, you have light.

I'm the only one with a Corona Extra. Ooh. That's good. We got the whole Corona family here. Yeah. Now, do you squeeze your lime or you just pop it in? My, looks like my cocoa, I just put it on top as a garnish. My cocoa, as many times as I tried to shake this up and twist it up. So yeah, the coconut gathered at the bottom. Yeah, mine too.

You know, I have like a larger measuring glass and I like to start kind of start with the viscous stuff like the cocoa rail viscosity so that the other ingredients, the other ingredients are kind of washing more of it in there. Yeah. I mean, I even like stirred it in with the Bacardi just so that i could pour it in and when i did it exploded everywhere and every time i tried to pour more in it continued to explode you mean the foam came up the top me too yeah it's like crazy i was battling it the whole time when i put the pineapple juice i thought maybe it was a reaction or something yeah now when you saw that were you like we got a squirt or like tim the tank did in his tiktok

well i i i was like i can't i can't top that joke so i'm just gonna let that that's like the best one yeah i'll give him this um it's a beautiful fun it's a fun looking thing right even with the foam filling up the neck that looks frothy and fun and the lime garnish and you if you saw someone holding this you'd be like what is that yeah what the what the what looks like a dessert. It looks like a foamy little dessert guy with a little lime. I wouldn't mind seeing the little pony bottles of Corona done like this and they're served as dessert at restaurants. You know, I wouldn't mind seeing this package, you know,

with a $100 bill wrapped around it. Yeah. And on that bill is said the sloppy boys drink because it's coming from our own company all right um sips yeah sips i'm gonna remove my lime and i'm gonna sit i'm gonna involve my Woo. Mm. Woo. Indeed. Mike. That's fun. That tastes like a beer and a pina colada made love while looking at a sunset. It's funny because you usually hear people attempting jokes that are like ones you've heard before. It's, you know, uh, but like, I've never heard like a beer and a sunset making love or making love while watching a sunset. It heard like a beer and a sunset making love or making love while

watching a sunset is like a weird writing or something. There's also no joke to it. You're waiting for, you're waiting for the twist. All that patter and just like riding a unicorn through Hogwarts or whatever. That's like what Patton Oswalt used to do 10 years ago before he like saw it was a bad habit and stopped. Right. Um, there was a, a please don't destroy video back in their

twitter days where they were doing that they were like roasting each other and they it was like oh ben you look like if ron weasley and big bird had a baby and then he gets really sad that he said that to him but they all had harry potter uh things in them and i think that those guys were i think those guys were noticing that a lot of people that make this type of joke that harry potter is a well that people go to with a that's interesting i did i did too like mystical creatures because like uh you know anchorman like you'll be like by odin's beard like like uh fantastical stuff is always a go-to judd apatow did that a lot like your dick looks like the cast of game of thrones wait a second though i did a i wrote a comedy bang bang

sketch called you look like and it was like a movie trailer about a guy who just says you look like this you look like that and i could have sworn i said like something like you look like Dumbledore's balls. Maybe I was referencing knocked up. Oh yeah. I look like Deadpool. Martin star has a beard and Joe is like,

you look like Dumbledore's balls. Yep. Someone who has a beard, then that their balls would be hairy, but you could also just say because you have a beard much like him and i don't even know who dumbledore is because i'm not a fucking geek ass fucking nerd dude uh just think of dumbledore and dumbledore is the dean tim got a dean so like like peggy williams in ithaca uh There you go. Yeah. Tim has to think of a real life Dean that he really did meet in order to

place it. The Deans are gone. College night. Great song by sloppy waste. Paradiso is a good album. Yeah. I was at the dentist yesterday and the hygienist said, um,

uh, did you say hi to Dr. Abrams for me? It was him. He did a great work patching up a broken veneer of mine, but, um, they said something about um i i we

were talking about central new york and i was like yeah well i actually went to college in ithaca and it's beautiful there and i had the classic response oh cornell and i just say no brain too small you know you know what i say when people uh say that to me tim I look him right in the eye, smile. I say, yep. Correct him. Ezra Cornell. How many people are going to ask to see my diploma? No one. I would.

It's just funny with Ithaca because Harvard grads who say I went to college in Boston, they're doing a thing. There's false modesty and there's a thing going on there. But when I say went to college in ithaca i'm really just like talking about a town i was i'm not i'm not like burying the lead right right right in here man do you remember when um being a coy boy uh rivers cuomo like sold a script or like somebody sold a script about rivers cuomo's experience at harvard after having been a rock star oh yeah yeah yeah. Yeah, yeah. That like never saw the light of day. Well, Tim, when we did his Funny or Die video, I asked him about it.

I was just like, how'd that thing go? You had a TV project. And he was like, yeah, you know, it was about kind of like me at school. And like, I was at school and I kind of elbowed him a little bit. It was like, yeah, it was Harvard, right? School.

It's funny that... The premise is that it's a fancy school. Yeah, little bit. It was like, yeah, it was Harvard, right? It's just, it's funny that, uh, the premise is that it's a fancy school. Yeah. The, the, the false modesty of like, if it's Harvard,

you could just say it's Harvard. Right. If you're a, if you're a rockstar millionaire and you're going to Harvard, you're going there because you know, it's Harvard and it's the best school. So then that's why you're like, our star pedigree got you in like all,

but all the dancing around, like, Oh, it was this old place in Cambridge. Like, yeah, it's fucking Harvard University. I have to say that that pitch, that was like a deadline story and nothing came of it. Doesn't it just feel like that's all it could be? It was supposed to be. That's such a nice, clean headline. Like, hey, remember when that rock star went to Harvard?

How about, well, it's in Variety that there's a nice clean headline like hey remember when that rock star went to harvard how about well here's a it's in variety that there's a show of that and what a perfect article to look at yeah and then there's just no fucking way that would be a tv show because after two episodes you'd be like okay so what what's the he has to go to a lecture but he uh uh has to go to a concert. He has to go to two things. Are they close? Hopefully. The first thing you think of when you think college and the first thing you think of when you think rock star. He's got to go to both. Each episode is him torn between two types of things.

Yeah, that seems like also a type of show where if it did get made, the the the sort of resulting show wouldn't be as simple as it's a rock guy who goes to a college. It would be totally morphed into something else. How's your Coco Lopezopez coco real doing at the bottom mine's just kind of clumping down i'm swirling i'm doing my best to swirl did i do too much i keep swirling yeah i'm wondering if this is old i mean i know it's older we did this a while ago it was always like this i remember when it was fresh it was pretty glumpy uh coco lopez you can shake the can and a little bit better and it won't be as glumped. I drank down to the label

when I poured it in. Ah, yes, me too. You know, like, I felt like that was maybe good. I was thinking the brass monkey rules on that one. And that's what we did for the brass monkey.

Yeah, but then, you know, with all the fizz, I was thinking maybe, maybe this is why, like, Thomas the Tank wanted us to, like, drink half the beer or Tim the, Tim the Toolman,

TikTok. Whatever he's doing y'all squeezing your lime now i put i just plopped it in no it's just in there vibing he's in there lamping limeless um i could probably go limeless next time yeah i don't i don't i don't think you uh it. But you know what's funny is it's fun to make a drink into a bottle. So that's why this drink exists to me. But when I just looked at the recipe, I was sort of like, I thought maybe it lacked cleverness. It looked fun. But there's something about the spaghetti that's like, oh, Aperol. It's like, oh, Aperol, like it's a poor man's Aperol Spritz because you're using the champagne of beers instead of champagne.

And it does taste weirdly good. And like, I'm at the point where I would like a spaghet more than an Aperol Spritz and something kind of magical happens there. I thought that when I looked at this recipe at first i was like there's nothing we're taking all the ingredients of a pina colada rum coconut pineapple we're putting them all into a beer so that it's not like hey this is this is like a simple like quick and easy version of a thing it's like you're just smashing two things together it's just smashing two old things together you're turning it into a long drink you're turning it into like a a big fizzer i thought that maybe then it's like so why do this is it only in order to make a a tiktok but when i'm drinking it now i will give credit to tim the Tank, my favorite comedian, and say there's something nice about the bubbling, the froth of the beer.

It's not nothing. You know, it's doing something. It's not a pina colada, nor is it a beer. It's definitely doing something. There's something about this. I need more something in here. More maybe pineapple taste. I think it's,'s for me it's lime

like i want to sharpen it up oh yeah yeah but uh and the other thing is similar to the brass monkey i'm already feeling like the warmth creeping in oh you don't like feeling the warmth creeping oh jeff let me tell you a real smart thing i did oh the drink is already getting warm yeah yeah yeah you know it's just like like how do you keep this like frosty fucking cold and the answer is well the pina colada the way we make them is made with ice within it's like it's all ice that just melts and stays cold oh maybe you pour this all out i mean it kind of defeats the purpose of it being in a bottle but maybe just pour it all out over ice yeah dude i don't think we have i don't know if we'd have enough rounds on the show for that for me because i want to do one that's like just different amount.

Maybe I can barely taste the rum. You guys tasting the rum. I feel the rum. I'll tell you that. I feel the rum too, but it's, it's kind of cool that you don't taste. I'm shocked.

I don't taste the rum. I'm getting too much coconut now that I've mixed it up and actually somehow not too much pineapple, but the rum has fully disappeared. But I wanted to address my co-host jeff's statement about the uh warmth i in in general in life i do not keep my liquor in the freezer because i want my liquor to melt ice when i when i shake if i'm making a martini i want room temperature gin so that it melts some of the ice when I'm shaking it, et cetera.

But today, last night, I knew I was making this drink and I was already worried about adding warm ingredients to a beer. So I didn't get to sleep until like 2 a.m., right? No, I didn't sleep a wink at all. I was just standing in my kitchen crying. My coconut was already in the fridge. I put my can of pineapple juice in the fridge, and then I put my big, huge handle of Bacardi in the freezer, Jeff.

So when I was assembling this drink, it was getting, it wasn't warming up the beer. No, no, no. It was making it even colder. Oh my God. And because there's no ice in this drink, that goes shit. There was no need for for any room temperature ingredients it's kind of cool man it's tough because that coco real tough to work

with when it's even normal to make it colder geez you're dealing with like uh just a glob just like a lob play-doh it tim the tank was right when he says it looks like the stuff just a glob. Just a glob. Play-Doh. Tim the Tank was right when he says it looks like the stuff your mom, your dad gave your mom when he made you. Hey! Oh, you mean a... It's seminal. Nice, a nice

steak dinner and a bouquet of 12 roses. I had a couple ribeyes this week, guys. I'm thinking I'm on pace. A couple? A couple? Tim, we're going to take out a life insurance policy on you the way that Universal did on Spielberg. Yeah, damn, Jeff. You and I

are going to be rich in five years. Okay, but I also had my annual physical this week, and my doctor tells me, she goes, um, I get my blood work back. I do all the vitals and everything. And, and, uh, here's the stance, Tim, your, your blood pressure is a little high, but not high enough to count as high blood pressure.

It's just elevated. So keep an eye on that. I'm not, can we we get is that song about blood blood pressure i think that's about podcaster blood pressure just a fat guy eating too many steaks that sounds like a uh of a lofty englishman's name um she goes team your blood pressure is like you know it's like like 130 over 90 that's a little bit high so keep an eye on it keep an eye on it and then i go okay you do the blood work and we're talking cholesterol she goes tim your cholesterol is a little high it's not high enough for

cholesterol medication lipitor just keep an eye on it sure oh we understand hdLs, LDLs. Yeah, of course. LDLs. So I'm left. I'm 41. I do my physical. I'm told, Tim, it's almost kind of a beseechingly annoying thing to be told. Like, we live in a world where these magic pills fix you, right? And I have health insurance, and I could be getting these magic pills to fix me. But instead, like, if I had high cholesterol or high blood pressure, she would give me pills to fix it. But because I only had slightly high, it's like two things that are, it's like, Tim, that's on

you. You know, it's on you. Yeah. Yeah. Just give me a half a pill. Do you, Tim, you gotta, you gotta work out more and you gotta eat, you gotta eat better. And I'm like, I wish I was higher. I wish all wish I was higher. I wish all those numbers were higher. So this chick would have just taken care of it for me. If I, you wish they were higher instead of just, I wish they were lower and not happening. I wish they were higher so I could get the medication.

If I had one wish, if a genie gave me a wish, if you get one wish, well, I mean, I'm not going to be not eating the ribeyes. no no no no no uh yeah if a doctor told me like oh you need to work out more i'd be like dude there's okay make more hours in the day then bud because i can't if there was a 20 20 because you're a rising gym longer than yeah did he know that he was talking to like a rising grind sigma male probably one look at you yeah did you put that on your uh i i usually write that on all my forms at the top that's the only thing you write right sigma male if you need more information it's not even on the blank lines it's just over

the text that's on the page. Like a big void stamp. Shit. This thing's hitting me, though. The rum got to me. I'm drunk and it makes me want to... There was something I needed to tell you guys that I've been blanking on. Do you guys remember

earlier this year when we played a show at the Rainbow on the Sunset Strip? Who could forget? Yeah. You had a lot of good facts on the sunset strip who could forget. Yeah. Yes. Well, you had a lot of good facts, uh, in that one.

You look a little, that was good. We even put our instruments in the, uh, in the, in the hallowed little upper perch where John Lennon used to hang out with Warren Zeevon and all those other folks. And now,

you know who hangs out there? Us waiting to get into, uh, start our show and a huge cockroach. One very large, extra large cockroach. This is one of those guys, a big Tim's friend,

Justin's big foot came down on it, came up and the cockroach still moved. He's still around. The cockroach lifted the boot and pushed it off. Cockroach versus Marine. Cockroach wins. Jeff, I think that's a i think that they do that joke in the simpsons where mr burns tries to step on an ant and go like lifts his arms and knocks him over

wait who else was in hollywood vampires this i want to know i want to make sure i'm not talking out my ass let in harry nelson harry nelson not keith moon warren's not warren's evon not a part of it i was thinking oh yeah yeah and then uh alice cooper and uh mickey dolan's mickey dolan's that's that's a guy that he's the piece of the puzzle that i'm like oh he was a a wild guy i always think the monkeys is just kind of being puff puff piece a puff piece music um our friend amin zaruki and the guitar player for don't stop or we'll die toured with uh mickey dolan's this past year as the monkeys oh yes they're not puff piece music they're they're they're good well back in the day they were now they're cool oh i mean it's gonna kill me well so this is what i wanted to mention i was

up in the hollywood vampires nook that night that we all played we played a show there it was so fun and that was i think after the show you guys were kind of i don't know it was a secret show it was a secret show you got it was a secret show we were playing with relevant elephants and it was really fun yeah they were great um actually they were really good they were really good musically okay go ahead tell i keep interrupting it's this it's the rum leave me alone but when you play with when you see another rock band live you kind of think they're going to kind of be like bluesy or country or whatever those guys have like catchy pop rock songs and i really appreciate that you know i'm always impressed because they had like a kind of a big like two guitars you

don't see a band with two guitars and a bass you're like wow they're gonna do something yeah i look at a lot of bands and say they need all that but uh yeah yes i agree again it's just rum is talking right now go ahead tim so you guys post show we're doing what you do you know going up to fans hey i'm in the band did you know did you see me up there uh all that stuff you guys do right i was i was in my zone with like you know i get sort of quiet and stoic and just reflect on the on on the night and stuff like that. So I, after the show, I went back up to the Hollywood vampires secret little drinking nook. And I was there by myself just sort of like,

well, that was a good show. Tim, you're keeping the spirit of rock and roll alive. That's good. Um, and I was sitting on the little, on the chair where,

um, Harry Nilsson used to sit. And, um, I was suddenly sort of, not Warren Zevon, Harry Nilsson. Yeah, yeah. Or yeah, not Warren Zevon. Both very good songwriters.

Similar guys in a way. Intellectuals. Yeah. I'm sitting there and suddenly I felt this presence overtake me. I don't really, I don't really believe in ghosts per se, but I just felt like there was, I was joined by God.

Uh, well, I don't believe in God, Tim. I got to talk to you about that. I'm an, I'm an agnostic. Mike,

if you want to prove something to me, I'm all ears. Okay. That'll be behind the paywall folks. Mike proves the existence of God god i don't like to have a conversation with god me and tim talk about god on the paywall hey who is that i i attended a lecture at ithaca college remember that teacher ben something that did uh yeah i didn't have him but i remember this i remember this being a i went for him. I went to a lecture that was like a lecture to disprove the existence of Jesus. And that's what he does.

You're like a senior. You're on your way to the... Oh, fun. Ben Green? No. Not a different Ben. I think that that's Madeline Walter's husband. Right.

Right. I think it was Ben Stiller. Oh, yeah. He did do a lot of blue steel during the lecture ben stiller comes to a communications college or their department to talk about the existence of god not about directing or writing we thought you're going to talk about your film career oh oh shit ah okay well i just got to talk about this real briefly. So Tim, you're, you're, you're up in the perch. You're sitting in the sea. You're in the dark.

You're sort of sitting in the lineage of those who've come before you. Yeah. Specifically Harry Nilsson. And I'm a big fan of his songwriting. And, um, I just felt Harry Nilsson. Okay. Okay. Good.

Yeah. And I was like, Hmm. Like it shivers down my spine. Something. And, um, here's what happened probably cockroach it could have been cockroach breathing it was walking on my back um i felt moved to look under my seat i i looked down there and there was just beyond the cockroaches yeah there was an audio tape like a reel-to-reel audio tape really and i was like

what and then i i pick it up and i look and there's a post-it on this on the side of the reel it says what it says the sequel huh tim the mind reels yeah the sequel of what so i can't believe that i didn't mention it to you uh this i grabbed it i put it down the front of my calvin klein briefs yeah and then i went downstairs did you use your uh did you use your member to sort of keep the real in intact like in in one place i poked my dick through the hole yeah yeah well it's, I was trying to say it plainly, but yes, I totally meant to tell you guys about it and be like,

what do you think this is? I don't want this to fast forward or rewind while it's in my DVDs. Just in case. I'm going to put it on pause. Anchor it down with the pubes. Um, I was like, I got to tell the guys about this,

but I get to the bar. There you guys are. Hey, did you see us in the show? You see us up there? We're actually in the band. Yeah, yeah. We just wanted to talk about if you saw us.

How do we sound? I hope we sounded okay, man. Did we do okay? And thanks again for having us, man. So I basically just couldn't get a word in edgewise, and I forgot to bring it up to you, and then the night continued. So this has been on my to-do list was to remind you guys, we wanted to talk about how there's

a Summer Jam Slam, August 15th in LA. Mike's a watch guy. And this was another thing that I wanted to bring up on the pod today. I brought, I digitized the tape into an MP3 and i brought it and i've never listened to it and i thought maybe we should listen to this uh tape and this was the the post it said just the sequel the sequel and i'm like so i felt that i was sitting in harry nelson's seat not the squeak wool okay all right and and you've been holding onto this tape for um not a year but like six months at least right nigh on months why why today of all days i wonder

um you know why it was because i was like mike is a watch guy uh uh jeff uh what was your thing you shared i didn't really have anything if if you remember. No, you did. There was something. You've been doing something. Oh, it was the tanks. I was trying to get tanks. You were getting tank tops. So you guys were sharing things about yourself and it reminded me that I,

you guys really never ask me anything because I don't like to talk a lot on the podcast. I speak about 11% of the show. Okay, 11%. When you guys were sharing things, because I don't like to talk a lot on the podcast. I speak about 11% of the show. Okay. 11%. When you guys were sharing things, I was like, oh, I'll share this. So here it is. The sequel?

Great. Here we go. Here we go. Brother bought a Corona. He bought it for the gram he wanna make a video he really think he can he put no lime in the corona instead put coconut no lime in the corona instead put coconut he put no lime in the corona put rum pineapple too he put no lime in the Corona Put rum, pineapple too He put no lime in the Corona He got a lot of views and he went viral Now he's all over the net and he went viral How many likes can one boy get and he went viral

It's his most successful post and he went viral He kinda looked like Colin Jost But don't forget he did garnish with a lime. Okay, yeah. That's okay. Okay. He did garnish with a lime. I was going to say, I was like, what the hell is this person talking about?

Well, don't forget. Garnished with a lime. You must have forgotten. I got garnished. Yes, I must have forgotten. That's exciting. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe you found that and um i don't know if it has the flow i don't know if the sequel has quite like the syllabic flow of maybe the original yeah you're right oh when you say the original are you talking

about the harry nelson song coconut he puts the one that's what i thought the sequel was referring to the sequel to that song so that's the sequel to that. Oh, so Tim, you didn't even realize you didn't put that together. I've never heard that song. I see. I see. What we just listened to, you never heard? You just digitized it.

I bought the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack on CD, but I always would skip that track. Gotcha. So weird. It took me, you know, I knew would skip that track. Gotcha. So weird. Um, it took me, um, you know, I, I knew we were getting towards something here, but, uh, it took me way too long to realize you were going to do the, I'm in the coconut song. Well, he's not doing anything. He right. That he found. Yes. I'm sorry. Sorry. So sorry. Um, one thing I'll say is that I've still have this, uh, audio reel, this tape reel. And I was and the hole in the middle, I just was smelling it.

It smells like pee. Wait, not plastic? Because those little cogs are made of plastic, Tim. I know, but it's almost like, no, it did. But then now there's sort of a pee smell to it. I don't understand why pee is all over the shaft. That's something I would like to, I would love to take a, I'd love to just go with you, Tim, to your next physical.

I have a question. Mike, can I just put, I'll put you in touch with my urologist and the U2 hash it out. Yeah, Tim, you, you kick it off and then Mike's got some additional questions sort of about your whole. Like I'm going to head home. You keep talking.

I do talk to your urologist. I don't know your primary care physician. Oh, well, that's funny you say that. That's who I need to. Dr. Benuni was not available. So I forget who this doctor last week was, but. Benuni? Benuni would be a good drink name.

We need to make something called Benuni. I actually go to Dr. Benedicto, but it's not that Dr. Benedicto. I got a little thriller and it is that little. That's why my blood pressure is. All right, folks, we're going to make our second round, which we've yet to discuss, but I have some some of my own ideas. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to kind of figure it out in the moment. In the moment. Me too. Tim, are you going to figure it out in the moment?

in the moment me too um tim are you gonna figure it out in the moment um i'm gonna figure it out in the moment and then i'll have something to report back when we're back me too big things coming folks watch this space pull out your wallets here come the ads And we're back. Round two of the Pina Colada Corona. Yes, yes. Here we go. I personally, I squeezed half a lime's worth of juice in there. It's part of the cocktail now. It's not just a garnish.

Lime juice has joined the party. Interesting. I did a little less Bacardi. Probably an ounce and a half. Yeah. Well, how does it taste? Well, hold on. All right.

I could wait all day. Look at him chugging away over there. Ooh, that's nice. Better? Yep. That's it for me right there, folks. More lime, less rum. I did more lime.

I did less rum too, Jeff. I took it down to Jeff. Okay. I did. I took it down to an ounce and a half. I did an ounce of the, uh, Cocoa Real, but I drank it down. I drank it down past the top of the,

yeah. Yeah. I think he was right because you just need room for all that fucking fizz. It's still a messy affair, huh? But, but I want, I need room so I could get more taste out of the,

you know, the, the, of the pineapple juice or something. You know what I'm thinking? Because this didn't have much flavor. It's a Corona Premier, which is low-cal and low-carb. I bet this isn't like a very tasty beer on its own. It's a watery beer, yeah. Not full-bodied. Actually, you know what? I did

just take in some swigs. It didn't taste too different, but yeah, it is a little less on taste. I mean, Corona is pretty light to begin with. And this is this is and I really shook it this time. I got my thumb in there and shook it all around. Like a Polaroid picture. Huh? Did you shake it like a Polaroid picture? Well, actually, a Polaroid says you're not actually supposed to do that. Oh, great. Did you hate that guy at the family reunion? We're all dancing.

At the function. Yeah. Actually, they don't want to. Oh, God. We're just having some fun, please. Anyway, this is much better. But here's the thing. It's much better.

I taste no beer at all. And I think the reason I like it Is because it tastes more like a pina colada So The Corona glass is really just like The glass You know what I mean? It's just a vessel Sorry, the Corona bottle is more just a glass

You know what I mean? You're using it as the Cocktail glass of choice Yeah, it's like I had a beer I had a, you know Almost half a beer and then now this drink um i my tweaks were that i drank the beer down a little bit farther so i could top up with more pineapple i put the same amount of coconut but this time i mixed the coconut and pineapple together thinking that that would help the coconut but but no combine the coconut the coconut still sunk to

the bottom but um yeah it's almost like you have to shake it almost on like every sip or something if you want all that coconut i know like a polaroid picture well he's just trying to get my goat and i know that and i know that i. I mean, I know you're from Rochester. You're more of a Kodak guy than a Polaroid guy. All right. Well, I mean, I wasn't even thinking that. And I know you've had some drinks. I'm taking offense because I've had some drinks.

I'm belligerent. I'm very offended. I'm getting emotional right now. Yeah, I'm screaming. I'm crying. So mine has less beer more pineapple i also i squeezed my lime in before uh into the juices now let's see how this goes a little more pineapple pretty much the same can i ask mike you dialed back the rum

was it because round one you were tasting too much rum or just because you want to get less drunk? Because I'm not tasting rum in any of this shit. No, no. It's a sneaker-upper. No, not at all. I just wanted to get less, like a half an ounce less drunk. Which at this point, I don't know if it matters. This is, watch out.

This one, it's here for you. It's knocking at the door. But are you riding a unicorn through Hogwarts? No, I'm riding a speeder through Endor. Sort of speed. I like this. Return of the Jedi. That was my favorite vehicle in the Star Wars world.

Originally titled Revenge of the Jedi. Oh. Damn, Tim. He hates geek shit until he doesn't. Yeah, that's right. Until he doesn't. That's a phrase. I don't feel like that's a community chess phrase until...

It's this until it isn't. But that is very much a modern... Colloquialism? Yeah, it's interesting. To me, it's just a useful phrase. don't think about like what's popular or not i think i don't know if this is the lineage the etymology but i think i first heard that as like it was fun until it wasn't as like what people say about like when like a relationship went bad or something like that. It was fun. Okay. Yeah. Hmm. Huh?

Uh, do we do final thoughts? Has it, has it been long enough? It's time. I think I'll go first. Go for it. It is fun to hold the bottle and drink this frothy pina colada.

I do like it. It is an order again. And I would, I think if I'm at a pool party this summer i would make some of these not only just to say hey i did a fun thing but because i'm trying to get my friends all fucked up it's really strong and that's kind of fun and and that's fun but i will give it one ding to to tim the tank look at, I'm Tim in a tank top. Me and maybe add like a ding sound effect earlier.

I gotta ding ya, ding! And add one at the top of the show, just so people don't, it doesn't catch them so unaware. And throw one at the end just because it's like, okay, so we're done with this now, so at the end of the song, put a ding at the end. Dealer's choice. Yeah. Is that like a meditation thing when there's like ding?

Ding. Yeah. Bang. Here's a classic ding. This has come up on the show before. Bang. Both rounds of this drink, when I opened up my Corona and then I drank it, both times.

I thought this Corona is delicious. Like, and on its own. And I would say, I would say, you know, what's better than a pina colada Corona, a Corona,

a Corona, and then a pina colada. Right. So if you want to be the life of the party, you want to be charismatic. You want to get your friends drunk. You want to be cool at the pool party with conversation starters. Yes, this is I do like this and it is good and I and I do like it and it's an Oregon.

But also just very weirdly, Corona, you make a good beer. It's it's very good on its own. It's better on its own. Hey, Corona, if you want to sponsor us, let us know. We're all ears, Corona. We could we could cover ourselves head to toe in Corona gear every time we play our concerts, whatever you want. Michael, your thoughts? Submit them to the triumvirate.

Tim just... What was that Mike Myers show? It was like the pentagram? When are they doing a second season of that? By the way, Mike Myers came out as like a he's like i'm i'm an older dude now and he's got like short um like gray white hair he looks like lorn you know what's funny is we know his brother remember we met him in san francisco he's like he's like a rock journalist yeah paul i want to say paul paul myers well paul has always had the white hair but like a

bowl cut but he looks like mike with white hair so then it was very funny for mike to be like i've been hiding this for several decades but my hair is great it's funny because he does look like dr evil with like slightly more hair who is based on lauren so he just looks like lauren he just turned into the uh yeah meeting pa Meeting Paul, that was cool. He was a nice guy. I remember him. Yeah. He's nice too.

He made that, the kids in the hall oral history that came out a few years ago. He edited that. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I was following him or maybe he doesn't tweet much anymore, but I was following him on Twitter and yeah, he had a lot of like cool comedy history stuff. He's great. He's a cool guy. on Twitter and yeah he had a lot of like cool comedy history stuff he's great so you mean to tell me

that Mike Myers and Dana Carvey both have noteworthy brothers yeah yeah who's Dana Carvey's Dana's brother invented the video toaster which was the platform if you go back and look at us folks on

Highland Park TV the transitions it's so funny that both of it seems like in the in wayne's world they were both doing their brother one is like a rock guy and one is a video guy interesting yeah because garth yeah garth is based on what's his name his brother there's there's might be a running theme because here i'm a comedy guy my brother is is one of the foremost bread distributors in the northeast and mike you're a comedy guy your brother is one of the best prep school teachers in the northeast yeah we should we should make a we should write a movie where and jeff your sister i'm over here brotherless you got a brother-in-law my sister

works at a bank has a has a child. She lives in New Jersey. This might be a fun movie if we all play our siblings. Hey, we should make that movie separately. I want to say I watched a couple episodes of Real Housewives New Jersey, and I really enjoyed it for the New Jersey effect. I don't really like Bravo shows, but if you like New Jersey, it's really fun. There's just a bunch of fun. Newer episodes? Are they still making that show? shows but if you like new jersey it's really fun that there's just a bunch of newer episodes or

are they still like that show or the current season it's just like a bunch of uh you know stereotypical new jersey people arguing and doing their thing i've seen i've seen that show before and it gets pretty wild the fights and stuff um let me talk about the drink of the day okay so we're doing the corona okay hold on i gotta is this are you wrapping up because i have my final thoughts still is this final thoughts or is this the drink intro i was gonna do a drink intro again that was the joke i was trying go ahead jeff no do you have more it's's okay. I got to do my final thought. So this drink is, this drink's messy. And I don't mean physically messy.

It's messy. The taste is messy. Emotionally. It's messy. It's just like, you got to do different amounts of things. If you want to sort of pineapple-y thing, more pineapple and more coconut coconut if you want that.

I don't... I'm torn here. Because you're not dialing in a perfect cocktail. It's more just you're dumping shit in a bottle to be fun. Exactly. And it's fighting you. It's fighting you with that fucking, that greasy fizz every step of the way.

Imagine, Jeff, for you and I... My fizz now is hard at the top. You see that? and i my fizz now is like hard at the top you see that it's like now the coconut is now just like on the top and the fucking bottom the film is part of the fun it's it's very ramos fizz but i just can't imagine for you mike because me and jeff we're like oh whatever like this drink is a little messy yeah we don't care but we don't care but to mike this is the inventor of the hand slammer this is the guy who dialed in he wasn't just creative and thought of cool ingredients he dialed in the perfect spec in the perfect ratio so for him he's going to be challenged this is challenging you're coming at

him with this is it worth his time i i i brought a drink to the public on my platform when it was ready. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if this drink is ready yet. It's fun. It's a lot of fun. Fucking asshole. I don't love it.

I knew the creator of this drink or me. So look, I get it. I get it. Mike, you are now this. You're the, now the Simon Cowell of this panel. I'm Paula. Uh, Jeff is Randy. Mike, you are now this, you're the, now the Simon Cowell of this panel. I'm Paula.

Jeff is Randy and we're a lot of fun, but you're, you're the master and you're going to have a high cut down to what we're actually doing here. Yeah. You get to look down your nose. I was almost going to say this is not in order again. Oh, okay. say this is not in order again okay now i had so much fun in that second segment of this show and i blame it all on this if you listen back folks blame it on a hit that hit that 30 second back button a bunch of times when tim was going into the song that he uh found the real he found found i said fine i'm with you i was i was this thing was starting to hit me and i was having so much fun with my boys

and i think that's what this that's what this drink is about that's the point of the summer that is the drink that is what the point of this thing is and it is an oa for me i like about that's the point of the summer that is the drink that is what the point of this thing is and it is an oa for me i like this that's an oa oh wow but now cut to to segment three are you having fun now at all i'm having a great time okay it's not an oa because of the uh taste it's an oa because of the vibe and I don't think we've ever done that before. Oh. Who will survive the vibe shift? This drink is fun. It's evocative of the vibe that will be at the Summer Jam Slam at El Cid in Silver Lake, California on August 15th.

This might actually even be the drink of the Summer Jam Slam, if you think about it. Actually, no, the hand slammer. The hand slammer. The drink of the summer james lane yeah we'll get them what are they going to make of those there yeah um here i'll just do some quick final thoughts i feel like i had um a sort of a leg up on this drink having gotten to experiment it with it uh ahead of time sure now is this a good drink? Yeah. You're going to want to share it with your friends. Yeah. For me personally,

I feel like I knew it was going to be good. I got a 12 pack of Corona because when I go to a 4th of July thing, I'm going to bring it and I'm going to wear the tank top that I'm wearing. So I feel like this week, I mean, you did bring it. Yes. Yes. Now quick side note. This is just a mic uh jeff tune every second mike

he's referring to mookie and meredith's swimply i mean i heard none of that i was laughing at a different thing what's the downside yeah it's a mess you're gonna be battling that greasy white foam creeping up the neck of the bottle every step of the way every time you try to add something i was taking like a little stir stick or a little or a little um straw and just sort of like stirring it and sort of slapping it down to make room to add stuff yeah so i i am um gonna figure out a way to batch the pineapple rum and lime juice so that I can bring it to a function and just kind of get these going quickly. Oh, that's a good idea. And maybe I think we're probably going to still be drinking them in the bottles.

But I think there's also, Mike, you're right, a way to do this not in the bottle that is good. But then I think you're just making a pina colada. You know what I mean? And then you're creating all this glassware. I don't know. Yeah. You know, like if you're going to a party, figure out a way to batch these so you can just like tell people to drink down the Corona and then just dose them with, you know, three ounces of mix. I would suggest to, when you make this drink, you know three ounces of mix i would suggest to when you make this drink kind of make it for the fun rather than the getting the taste correct you know does that

make sense like it's fun to put in a bottle and all your friends are doing it and then well you can't really fuck up the taste because it tastes the same even with the variations right we all kind of feel like the variation yeah yeah don't worry about dialing it in because I feel like we all did variations and we're like, it doesn't really matter. Let it be its thing. Let the summer be its thing and just fly on. Just do it, man. You got to send it. Just follow the way.

You know? You got to send it. My biggest note of all for Tim the, what is his name? Tim the Tank. Is that and it's not just Tim the, what is his name? Tank. Tim the Tank. Tim the Tank. Oh. Is that, and it's not just Tim the Tank, it's everybody.

Everybody's doing little bits on the Corona Collada, the Pina Collada Corona. Not one fucking person thought to call it the Pina Corona. It's right there. It's sitting right there for you. It's right there. Jeff, yeah, that's good that is that is i searched pina corona no matches found wow jeff you need to you need to this is what you need to

do and we should maybe bleep all of this so somebody doesn't get to it but jeff what you need to do dial in exactly how you want this to taste. Talk to the Corona people and say, I will sell you this idea right now. They're already talking to fucking Tim, the tool man tank. Yeah, but they're like Tim, the tool man tank. And he's like,

Ooh, I'm doing my sperm joke. You say, I don't do the jokes. I do save my jokes for my podcast. Let's make some money here, folks. And folks,

let's all make some money. Why don't you bring a friend next time you come listen to the pod? Thank you. I would also, I would also suggest to what made my second round better. I took my Coco Real, which really settles, you know,

the globby cell thing. Sure. Get that thing real shake, shake it up, really get that thing broken up. Like a Kodak Kodachrome. Like a Fujiodak Kodachrome. Like a Fuji Insta image.

Now that I like. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. We know you like it because you're already got the taste and the taste is going to be coming at you all july long folks make it official

don't keep us in this situation ship okay you want to go to the url plunk down the five buy us an engagement ring and Bring joy to your life. It's really good. You make us happy. We make you happy. That's the deal, folks. That's right. Here's the thing.

We always pitch it also as like, hey, every week there's this other awesome, funny episode we're doing that you should listen to. That's true. And it's worth the $5, but to other people that don't even have the time or don't want to hear more,

do it as an act of charity. Support the arts. You listen to this show for free. You listen to this show for free every week. Give us $5 a month. Why not? I'll say this too. So we're going to record this week's blowout after this,

the tank top episode. If you're listening to this now and you don't subscribe to Patreon, we are in a very loose mode right now. the tank top episode yeah if you're listening to this now and you don't subscribe to the patreon we are in a very loose mode right now this is this drink is me purse i know this is going to be wild this pot this this blowout and and don't you want to hear that it's not going to be unlocked in the summer sales event that's no we're not unlocking yeah you're not you're not going to we can't we can't we would love to we'd love love to unlock this. Oh, my God. What if we could only unlock this one? But that's what I'm saying.

The blowout is an extension of this because we go on to really experience the drink. And that's when you see the effects of the drink happen. Look how long this episode is. That's how drunk we are. We didn't have a guest. There's no reason to do this. Can I tell you? You know, I'm usually in such a bad mood of let's get this thing done.

Let's get out the door. That's what I'm saying about this drink. It's making me excited to be around people again. It's got you've got a certain joie de vivre about you, Mike. See, you guys can see Mike. He's ear to ear. Yeah, that's nice. We should drop one of these times.

Let's drop off like a four hour episode. I mean, isn't the Mitch off like a four hour episode. I mean, isn't the Mitch episode like it's one episode. That was too much. That's too much pod. That's the one that I can't even listen back to that one. I'm happy it exists as a time capsule, but I know that we were so drunk in that episode that like you could not pay

me to listen. I could not listen to that episode i would rather blow my fucking brains out oh two lineups and shots on the roof that's too much no thanks um tim you bring up a good point about like the sloppy boys listener i bring up a lot of good points like uh you know a lot of um ad sales agencies if you're, if you're a big, big company, let's say you're Cottonelle. Yeah. The toilet paper. Is that what the bears who are like, no, that's sure. Enjoy the go for the go. Well,

Cottonelle isn't a good example because everybody uses toilet paper. Who's like, okay, Bravovo let's say your bravo networks you get to look at your clientele when you sell ads and you say well here's who watches bravo who is the bravo customer and a lot of times they'll name them they'll say we have we have toby he's young he's upwardly mobile he he's like he works in a creative job and so if you're trying to sell products to that motherfucker you advertise one bravo and like they'll need so who's the sloppy boys customer you know this is good we should we should release just maybe it's toby no i think his name's chad he's an alpha dog alpha male swinging dick a lot of people would

call him problematic but he doesn't care about that shit he's got his mind on the stock market and crypto yep and on the weekends he is bitchy this guy eats chips he gets the grease all over him he is a glistener oh i've been following a guy like this and you know the guy who's like sorted he's like a he's like the tanner max of instagram we're getting way off to okay this is now we're getting into hanford mode we gotta get out of here before the hook. But here's the thing. We also have a lot of guys. Tucker Max. Tucker Max. Tucker Max. Yes.

He's an author of airplane hookup books in the wake of the pickup artist craze. Airplane hookup books. We also have a lot of female listeners. We're not forgetting you, ladies. See, they are also glisteners, but for them, it's not chip grease. It's more of like, you know, they're just like, they have such a spirit, such a radiant spirit. That's their glistening. It's not chip grease.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Well, I like to think any gender or any person, any age can glisten or not glisten and do whatever they feel like. Yeah and you get to pick chip grease or spirit. Isn't that great? I love that. Chip dip is sauce now. I don't care. Mike sighing and looking at me dying to end it. No no I'm not. I'm trying to get myself together.

Check us out online. We already did that. No I have something else to say I have something to say folks if you want to see me do stand-up in August come out to these cities in August starting uh August 2nd Paw Paw Michigan then I'll be in Milwaukee Wisconsin then I'll be in Minneapolis Minnesota Seattle Washington then Portland, Oregon. Both Seattle and Portland, Oregon will be with Milam Patel, the famous editor. You heard him last week.

Is that for real? Yeah, he lives up there. He's coming up. King of the brass monkey himself. And then the last show I have scheduled so far is Los Angeles, California, on the 16th of August. Find all those on my Instagram. What venue in L.A.?

The Lyric Hyperion. Oh, folks, if you come to the Lyric, you know you're coming to El Cid. You got to get that double dose of the hand, man. Oh, yeah, baby. It's going to be a big week. Last time I was at the Lyric Hyperion, they told me that the bar bill was the highest they've ever had. I was there, Mike. I was a contributor to that bill for sure.

Good. I was a performer on that lineup. That's right. Yes. That's what made us all laugh that night. And I was an enjoyer in the audience. Still waiting for my check from that night. I expect a hefty

payday. You didn't get paid? I need to... Okay, well let me talk to the Hyperion people too. That's crazy you haven't gotten paid yet. There's gotta be 10, 12 grand on the way to the movie. I'm pissed that didn't happen yet. Bye, folks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B-201 B- Thanks for watching!