The Sloppy Boys - 232. Vodka Pineapple with Tom Scharpling

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

The guys welcome radio and podcast giant Tom Scharpling (The Best Show) to discuss the curious combination of pineapple juice and vodka.VODKA PINEAPPLE RECIPE: to taste VODKA to taste PINEAPPLE JUICE Combine vodka and pineapple juice however you want and drink it.Recipe via Tom Scharpling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The band is going on tour! Hey folks, this is Tim Kalpakis from the Sloppy Boys. You're probably wondering what I meant when I said the band is going on tour. Well, quite frankly, our band is going to be on the road playing tour shows, party rock, guitars, amps, drums. We're going to be in Seattle tonight, March 28th at Madame Lou's. Portland tomorrow night, March 29th at Halle Se, Portland tomorrow night March 29th at Holocene, San Francisco at the bottom of the hill on April 2nd, Los Angeles,

Zebulon, April 3rd, San Diego, Soda Bar April 4th, Phoenix, Valley Bar April 5th, and you're probably thinking those are big cities on the west coast. What about wee small towns in New England? Well the good news is Portsmouth, New Hampshire, May 28th at the press room, Brattleboro, Vermont, May 29th at the Stone Church, and Westerly, Rhode Island, May 30th at the United Theatre. And yes, that's part of the United Alt Comedy Festival. So come see those shows. We play long fat sets. We rock hard. We party hard. And if you really think about it folks, well, I guess I said it best when I said, the band is going on tour. ["The Band Is Going On Tour"]

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kelpakis. What is up? And joining us in this very special episode from the best show, it's radio and podcast

Titan, Tom Sharpling. Hi. Damn. A fourth member. This is Woo hoo hoo. Woo hoo. A fourth member? This is exciting for me. I'll tell you what's exciting for me, and kind of the headline with this is,

it's a really big Monk reunion because everybody knows that Tom wrote for all the seasons of Monk, and everybody on earth knows that Hanford. That's right. I was in, it was an extra. It was an extra on the bleach an extra in on the bleachers. In a basketball scene.

Mr. Monk in the big game. We we called. Do you know who your co-star in that one was? I do. And she went on to be wonderful. Wonderful. Her name is now blank on her name. Pooch Tall. Jennifer Lawrence. That's right.

She was in the costume, I think. She was in a tiger outfit for most of the episode. You get somebody of that caliber on the show. So it's like, of course, let's put her in a mascot costume. And she takes the head off once. I think I saw, yeah, she in variety, she fired her entire team after that. She should have fired them, rehired them and then fired them a second time. Give me acting jobs where people see my face. You beautiful.

I was saying the opposite. I was like, put me in that fucking mask. At that point, I think she was maybe on the bill Angvall show. Wow. Oh shit. I think she played Bill Angvall's daughter on a sitcom. I didn't see many of those. Is that, was that like a multi-game sitcom with see many of those episodes. Oh, they're out there. Was that like a multi-game sitcom with the flood of like blue collar comedy? I think so, yeah.

Damn, that's good. Nice. I remember she was when Mike Mitchell had a FX pilot to be a talk show host, the celebrity guest they got was she was promoting Winter's Bone? Winter's Bone and then she quickly quickly pivoted to X-Men. Yeah. She kind of blew up immediately. Yeah.

That, also I think Mike, we did like a UCV sketch where you showed the footage, a shot from your monk shot where you're in the crowd, and my brain, because you're kind of doing a lot of business back there. You're not just any basketball player. He's acting his ass off. Heard in my SA, because you're kind of like doing a lot of business back there. You're not just any basketball player doing a lot. He's acting his ass off. Heard in my sag after card.

My mind, I always like blended together with like the guy that took his dick out in Teen Wolf. Teen Wolf. Isn't there something like that? Did Hanford do that? The Teen Wolf 2 though? Oh shit. I honestly, I did take my dick out on set,

but it was in the bathroom. So everybody was like, sure. I went to the ADS like, is this okay that I do this? You walk out of the bathroom with your dick out. Every time I was like, is it OK that I handle myself in the bathroom? I have to. Damn. Well, it's good to have you on Tom. Thanks for doing this.

In my little Google, I noticed you don't generally drink. No, I drink. I look, I didn't write the Wikipedia for myself. You did. I don't know what that was. I think I say things on my show and then and then it's canon. Half of them aren't true. And I'm just saying to entertain myself and then people run with the things as if they are carved in stone as my reality.

It is tough when you've got like, because we do it too, just like a podcast that's the real opinions are mixed in with silly opinions. You really have to know us personally. That's exactly it. It's like, do you really want to trust me? You really don't want to know everything that is actually happening in my life. Take advantage of the fact I lie to you half the time. I do like to be taken to task for something I said offhand a week and a half ago.

That's always something I like. Right. Oh, yes. Yeah. Or when somebody brings up a thing from six years ago. Oh, yeah. They expect me to immediately recall. No, but they're the best. The listeners are the best. Okay. Let me fact check this then.

The first time I ever listened to your show, I had like, I was a production assistant at The Simpsons. I worked for James L. Brooks and there was a guy over there from New Jersey who was like, you got to listen to the best show on WFMU. This is still in the day, like pre-podcast. So he had like burned a CD of the radio show, I guess. My first car in LA was a, I had a Chrysler LeBaron convertible that had like a wood grain dashboard.

And I felt like a big private investigator type guy driving that around. But for whatever reason, because I was in LA with a convertible, I like made a CD of oldies and I was driving around LA like listening to the Dell Vikings like do-op music. And anyway, in that exact era, my friend gave me a CD of your show, I popped it in,

and then you were making fun of, you were making fun of a caller for liking Doo-Wop. And you specifically said- The Dell Vikings. You specifically said, you like the Dell Vikings? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Now that was one of my go-to. Punching bags. Vikings and the Orioles. I think I would always make fun of. Right. I like Doo-Wop just fine. See, it's another lie now. That's what I like.

I later people were like, no, you don't understand. Like John Worcester calls in, they're doing characters. And I'm like, oh, maybe they think Doo-Wop's really cool. Maybe the Dove Vikings are awesome. So they think it's cool. I like Doo-Wop's really cool. Maybe the Dove Vikings are awesome. So they think it's cool. I like Doo-Wop now. Doo-Wop is just fine. Doo-Wop's just fine.

I was going to say, when I first heard, remember hearing about your show and hearing about WFMU and then hearing, you know who Paul Barman is? The rapper? Yeah, MC Paul Barman, yeah. Yeah, he's got a song that says like, talking about a girl's shirt, says WFMU. I was like, whoa, this is all,

this stuff that's happening that I don't know about. It's all tied in. It's all, the cool stuff is happening somewhere. I remember watching the Jazz Man breakdown. That's kind of a gem I get. I get passed around a lot. The Billy, the Billy Crystal? Yeah, that's an evergreen me breaking down Billy Crystal moment by moment.

Did you go see 700 Sundays? No, I didn't. I know I worked with his co-writer on that. Alan's why Bell wrote an episode of Monk. So I asked a fair amount of 700 Sunday's questions with him not knowing how I felt about Billy Crystal. And they used to sell baseballs at the theater. Billy would sign baseballs that you could buy at the merch table. And the baseballs I found out from Ellen's wide bell were, uh,

just baseballs they got from the Yankees that were used in batting practice to seize dirty baseball. They're selling trash. They were hit baseballs that were just a other them up and then Billy buys them in bulk, sits there and signs them and charges $80 of baseball. And so sad you should not talk about and charges $80 a baseball. And so sad. You should not talk about, you're not a baseball player. You shouldn't be allowed to be signing baseballs. That's stolen valor.

One year the Yankees let him play in like spring training. And I was just like, what an insult this is to there's somebody who has dedicated their life to that to maybe getting that slot and now this goof took it away from them just for pure nothing but ego he's gonna be out there doing it so it's like I always thought the pitcher should just beamed him right in the head just some chin music, 100 miles an hour. Didn't Don Mattingly, though, go into SNL and do the You Look Marvelous guy for him once? Oh yeah.

Yeah, he was at the, oh, it's a two-way street with that song. It's only fair. It's an even swap. Yeah, he said, I'll do, yes, it's all paid for, it's all fine. Now, do you know the last year that Billy Crystal did Sammy Davis Jr. in Blackface?

No. Take a guess what the year was. Eighty seven. Ninety one. Yeah. Say 98. Guys, it was 2012. Wow. On Saturday Night Live. Oh, geez. Yeah. OK. Yeah, that's a rough one. That's that's pretty.

That's the second Obama administration. Tommy, you ever got any blowback? I mean, for speaking so frankly about, you know, Billy Crystal and like various people, there's nobody flagged you down and be like, like, what are you doing? Oh, I've I've hid at times. Oh. Going to Sketch Fest and looking over my shoulder all the time. That's...

Hoping I would run into Pete Holmes or whoever I've met before. I just like, I just like, cause it's just like, they put us all in the same fucking hotel. Well, they must all like each other. We're all here.

They put us all in the same fucking hotel. Well, they must all like each other. We're all here. Like anybody can pop out of that elevator at this point. I was terrified all the time there. I should have just gotten a separate hotel, like as if everybody make, we all make so much money, well, sketch fest, of course. It's so, I should have lost even more

by getting my own San Francisco hotel room. Yeah, we did that for about 10 years. Well, yeah, we had a, with San Francisco SketchFest, the rise and fall, we started doing it like, when it was like we'd pair our own way and they gave us no perks whatsoever. Then suddenly we were showing up with Bob Odenkirk, so they were like flying us up and putting us up in hotels.

And then Bob stopped being able to make it and we went right back. It was like Flowers for Algernon where you kind of, there was a moment in the middle where things were great and then right back down. No, but how was the exposure? It must've been great, all that exposure. Look where we are now.

You leave, leaving Los Angeles to be discovered, like it's all going happen up there. Yeah And we spent so many years or at early UCB flying on our own dime to like sketchfest Chicago Sketchfest New York and then we realized all the other groups in these sketch fest wanted to go to LA This we're like, well, why don't we stay put just fucking work there? Maybe that should be What we should get in on that racket, just organize a fest. Yeah.

I mean, if you could call something that, if you started it here, it's the LA Comedy Festival, and then people would be like, holy shit. No, Tom, you call it the best fest. No, I'm actually working on that. So, honestly, I'm not kidding. There's a thing we're working on, but oh, hell yeah. Since Jeff just said it, can we get some exposure on there?

It's going to be great for exposure for everybody. Oh, good. No, it's kind of thing where it's just like you charge people fifty dollars for each. Like the the craziest one to me was the vulture one, which was like, holy moly. This is like they might as well just have a gun in a ski mask. For what they're taking from everybody. But it's like, everybody does it for free. If you park in the wrong parking

garage, you can't get parking. So you pay $50 if you go into the wrong parking garage. And then they just give you this basket, like this gift basket of stuff they didn't pay for, that they got other people to give them. And they just keep all the money. Yeah, was that in LA? That was New York. That was New York Vulture Fest,

which I think might be dead now. Yeah. Is Vulture itself dead? That's New York mag, right? Oh, Vulture's I think Vulture's flying high. Oh, flying high. Like a Vulture. We stopped getting write ups from them.

So I gotta assume they're dead. Well, yeah, that's the thing. We were we were the third funniest podcast of 2023 and we haven't heard back since. I assume they went bankrupt. They just went under. They must have just begun. Now that wasn't there. It was there like a podcast festival way back in like mid-2000,

like 20, let's say 2007, that like Jesse, Jordan and Jesse Go. Max Fun Con. Max Fun Con. Yeah. I remember hearing about that and being like, there's a festival already and there's, I don't even know what a podcast is yet.

They're doing festivals? That was in the already? And I don't even know what a podcast is yet. And they're doing festivals? That was in the era of, I don't know, burning episodes of podcasts on CDs. The Dell Vikings era, yeah. Yeah, the Dell Vikings. No, that was when Jesse would do these really ambitious things. They would be like in the woods and people would go.

It's like, I don't know how you're putting that together. Public radio money. Oh, yeah. All that. Those piles of public radio money. Well, we get into some booze news. Boo. I forgot. Bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim. Booze news. Hit it. Who's the guy?

And I love him and I can't believe I'm forgetting his name. The trouble with the traveling Wilburys, the guy who. Roy Oberson, Obers who- Roy Oberson. Oberson, Roy Oberson. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny.

Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. Heeny heeny. We'll probably get his dead body pretty soon. Heeny heeny. But to just do that and go to somebody, come on, heeny heeny.

It's Booze News, you sloppy boy Orbisons. Sloppy Boy Orbisons was sent to us by The Motto Surfer. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to the Sloppy Boys Podcast at.com and if you want to hear the episode where Mitch from doughboys sings the ZZ top song from back to the future, part three niche subscribe to the sloppy boys blowout at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Many more times than you want to hear that. When I was listening back to that one, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Yeah, it's pretty mad. I was really surprised with the number of people afterwards that sided with

Mitch and thought that he was singing correctly. But I think they're just fans of his. Sika fans Tim, Sika fans. Tom did you know that the ZZ Top violin song in Back to the Future 3 that goes hee hee hee hee hee. They're playing it in the old West scene, but then it comes back around a pop song version of it plays during the credits and like as if it was gonna be the big new Huey Lewis hit of the year. Yeah, that was, there's a little bit of a fall off with Back to the Future part three for me.

Hot take. Ooh, we should have had you on those. Was that really. Hot take. Oh, we could have. We should have. Is that really a hot take? Well, I now I assumed that was a take, but I actually in the wake of our episode, everyone was talking shit on part two, which as a kid, I thought that was the cool one. Yeah, I thought part two is cool because it was I never saw a movie refer to itself or be like build itself around a pre the previous movie like that.

Yeah. I thought that was impressive. And then the third one, they're just like, let's slow it down a little bit. We've got nothing to prove in the Wild West after all. The second one was a little much. This one. We got a train that we got to get to go fast. It's all just one. Yeah, that was a drop off for me. Well, thank God it worked. Yeah, they did really get that train up to.

They got Doc and his little boys. Yeah. It's a new parts of the timeline, which, God, can you just imagine the adventures that are on right now? If they were stuck back then, they'd be dead. Yeah, either. No matter where you hide on the timeline, doc, you're going to die. Yeah, I was a kid watching that.

I was like, yeah, Steenburgen and Christopher Lloyd, that's like age appropriate. And now I look at it and she's got to be younger than us, right? Like now. She's currently older than us. But at the time of filming, yeah, she's like 36 or something. Yeah, I don't like her with Christopher Lloyd.

It's kind of a weird thing in the in the steam virgin cinematic universe that she kind of goes out with white haired guys. There's this and then yeah, she's got her characters all have a type. As far as the two examples, I'm thinking of Clifford. She likes Charles Groton. He would he would have surely go white at some time. are the two examples I'm thinking of on Clifford. She likes Charles Groton. He would he would have surely go white at some time. Yeah, I'll go wait for you. She's surely she any Leslie Nielsen movies. Yeah, she's always paired up with him.

Steve Martin. Parenthood. Oh, oh, she impaired. Wasn't she married to him in Parenthood? Steve Martin. That would be too perfect to solidify my theory into law. Now. Oh, it becomes a loss. That's how it becomes a loss. Three examples and it's long. That's how it works. Pod law. Tim, what's the actual booze news? Oh, today's top story and booze news. I'm sending you guys a link here in the chat of our Zoom.

You know, Franzia Box Wine? Well, have you heard of their new product, Fuel? Franzia Box Wine. What? product fuel. Franzia box wine. What offers a tantalizing trio of beverages designated to elevate any gathering with their vibrant flavors and robust 14 percent a B.V. This is a pivot in branding. So they have like I mean it's just fun you know like we pretty deep into this era, like post white claw, ready to drink cocktails and everything, but so Francia has three flavors, hard punch, margarita rush, and tiger's blood,

and they look like they're in cartons that are, I thought there would be taurine or something, but nope, it's wine. Tiger's blood. Tiger's blood is the, what's his name? Charlie Sheen. Yeah. Hell, yeah. Oh, they're right on the cutting edge there.

Fransie. It looks like Mountain Dew or like prime or something like that. But then it says by Francia in the old font in like the classic. And it just sticks out like a sore thumb, like it looks like a yoga studio. Little tag like 14 point. Oh, is strong for wine. like it looks like a yoga studio tag. I like 14.0 is strong for wine. It's like wine strength as opposed to being like beer strength, I guess.

But what's white? I think white Claw is 4% a light beers like 4% and then, you know, yeah, yeah. But it's like, I can't really think of any of these catching on, so it's funny that they're still rolling them out, but yeah, it's so funny to say on the, like they couldn't just come out with fuel, but the idea that they wanted to get the

Faransia name on there so that kids drinking fuel would be like, that's actually cool, like this is actually Faransia, that's good wine. Cars drink fuel. Noice. The one pal who's not giving, yeah, That's good wine. Cars drink fuel. Noice. The one pal who's not cars drink fuel. So we should do that.

But they're in like the Boku box to or like the coconut water. It's it's like an adult. Yeah. Crushable cardboard. I got to say, I hate drinking out of those types of things. They suck. No, they're just they weird me out kind of. I feel like the whole thing is a little, maybe in my head I think it's gonna all break apart and spill or whatever, but I just don't like these things. Well we got to cover them. Oh that reminded me of the,

who did the the Boku commercials? Richard Lewis. Yeah, hell yeah. Those are good. And he's like, Oh yeah. It's kind of like he's describing kind of like yuppie parties he's at. He's like, Oh, have some bocu. And he's got real dude about it. Hey, all I wanted was a bocu. It's tough to watch. Is he like, is he kind of walking through like a sort of not as specific set, just like

a space? It's like a loft. And things kind of a black void. Okay like a space like a lot of chase and things. He's kind of a black void. OK, it is like a. Yeah, it feels like the background was like what would be like a like a serious photo studio like that gray, just stuff. Orly background.

Maybe the shadow of a big fan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That feels like an 80s ish more of a music video thing to me, but like a very plain thing with just a grayish sort of back cloth sort of crunched a little bit. Yeah, it feels very much like we got no other money. We have no money for this idea. Let's just shoot these guys.

We spent it all on the talent. Spent it all on the Boku. Wait, doesn't wait, who's a Boston comic I can can't think of Bill Burr. Dennis Lerner. I'm an asshole. Dennis Lerner, doesn't he have one like that, too? Where he sort of just scatting. He was mad at everything. Yeah. No, well, he used to do his MTV things and he would spout off.

Yes, spout off. And he talked quite a bit about Boku. He's sort of getting in on Boku as well. The adults juice box. This, just looking at this, I love just thinking of like the copywriter that wrote this Fransia stuff and you can feel they're trying to push it in the direction of, you know, it's like for dudes, but there's, it's just wine and there's nothing really dude about it, but when it starts doing meal pairings, it says,

the hard punch captivates with a burst of sweet orange and juicy cherry, perfectly complimenting burger sliders and spicy buffalo wings. It's like, if you say intense cool food, then you're like, oh shit, yeah, maybe Tiger's Blood is the thing for me. Anything you get a snack bar. What we're gonna have to do on the show is the bad news.

That's good news for me. I like to be drunk. Okay, damn, don't throw me with a good time. Well, that's it for Boo's News. Wrap it up. Sunday number one, I'm born. They tell me that I have a rather difficult birth. Bailey, don't take this personal,

but your mother didn't sit down until you were 12 years old. I didn't take it personal. Sunday number two, my circumcision. This I took personal. Wow. And now with that out of the way, we turn our attention to the drink of the day. This is an interesting one.

A drink of no name. A drink of no name. We could give it a name by the end of this. Well, even before we get into this particular drink of the day, Tom, why don't you say it's factually incorrect that you don't drink? Your Wikipedia page is not inaccurate. I know I don't drink a lot. Yeah, I'm not a big drinker.

I drink. I'm fine with drinking, sure. Okay. Are you drunk right now, sir? I'm not big drinker, but I drink. I'm fine with drinking, sure. Okay, are you drunk right now, sir? I'm not right now, no. Oh, we're going to change that real quick. Okay, all right. You're the boss. When I talked to Zoe, your producer,

and she was like, yeah, Tom said maybe something, the person was like, what's something easy to make? And then she was like, ooh, vodka pineapple. And we all went, vodka pineapple sounds delicious, but I've literally never once, for two very popular ingredients, extremely popular, I've never heard of anyone once ever in my life ordering a vodka pineapple.

Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, it's pretty special drink and you go to certain places and then they either say no we don't have pineapple juice or they get the dirtiest, dustiest can of pineapple juice from a shelf and you just know that's probably expired. But sure. And the pores are usually awful on them. People do like half pineapple, half vodka.

It's like, no, that's not, that's not the mix. It's fun to have a drink where it's not a rum and Coke or something like people have heard before. And it's up to like the interpretation of the bartender to kind of give you a little, their taste. I like that. Some of the worst drinks I've ever gotten have been this drink.

Oh. This is a high misfire rate with this one, okay. Huge misfire rate, because people, I mean, some, you go to certain places and they maybe rightfully assume that you're looking to get drunk to get hammered immediately. And so then they do a 50-50 split for the drink.

And it's just like, I'm not like in a parking lot trying to choke something down so I get hammered before going to the concert. It's like. You're right about the dusty cans too. Like, I don't know why pineapple juice cans. I love those little dull six packs that you can get, but why are they so different from any other canned thing?

They look like pre-war. Yeah. Yeah. And the kind of labels get like sweatier and kind of funkier quicker. There's just something wrong. It's thicker metal than you'd ever use on a can. Why are they so thick metal?

Yeah. It's the only way you can get this fucking dude. It really is the thickest industrial style. It's like aluminum siding as I can. It's like it's like a battleship round. Yes. Now, Tom, do you have a do you have a ratio that you like? We're gonna we're gonna go off yours probably. It's right, it's right. I'm bad with that. You follow your heart. I kind of follow my heart with it, yeah. I like it as a drink though, specifically as a test of a bartender. You know, like if I'm trying to test a concert piano player I give him Rachmaninoff concerto number three and I'm like, okay, this guy can hang.

Well that's just because that's only what you have on you at all times. You got to update The only sheet music I have yeah the charts But so we how did like is this a thing that's just how did it come to be are you like is it? What was in your house one day or did you would you dream it up? I? Well, I didn't dream it up, I can't take credit for that. So, cause I'm literally, I was hanging out with celebrity bartender Jack Schramm this weekend and I said, hey Jack, you ever hear of anyone

ordering a vodka pineapple? And he was like, I actually don't think I have. Cause there's other, in the world of like, Sex on the Beach type of 80s juice drinks, there's the Bay Breeze, but it has cranberry as well, because it's kind of like a Cape Cod or with pineapple. Oh, but it is vodka though, right? It's vodka, pineapple and cran, like a little splash.

But so I can see it mixing it, if it was a spring break 1985 type of vibe, I was just surprised there isn't a name for it. Because screwdriver, there's plenty of two ingredient drinks that have names. The Greyhound is vodka and grapefruit juice, which I liked for a very long time. And then I just, for some reason,

pineapple was on the menu at one point and I did it. And I kind of never went back, pineapple was on the menu at one point and I did it and I kind of never went back. You need another tropical type thing. I like fruit drinks and anything fruity. I'm all for hell yeah. All that stuff. I can't do brown liquor.

I'm just not good at it. Was this in Jersey? Oh yeah. Yeah. That's yeah, it all happened in Jersey. Gotcha. Everything. It all happened in Jersey. Everything I became, started there. It's not quite a Bay Breeze, it's not quite a sea breeze, it's like a creek breeze.

We'll come up with a breeze. I call it the sharpling breeze. Tom Breeze. The sharpling, the sharpening breeze or the Tom Breeze. The shot, the sharpling, the Sharpie Breeze. I like it. There's a bar in Nashville that I'm friends with, and they have a drink on their menu named after me. And all it is is just seltzer water

because nobody would not beating the sober allegations with that one, Tom. Yeah. No, but the whole thing is I Look I don't want to get a DUI I'm behind the wheel too much. I can't go you go out to a thing and most of the time. I'm the one driving So I can't get all messed up. I got places to go Wait, you you're from like New Brunswick? From that area, like around Rutgers, north of Princeton.

So it's driving New Jersey. It's not just like train. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, you get in your car. Oh, good this morning. And you drive to a place and there are cops outside of a bar

watching people leave the parking lot and then they take their shot. I'm surprised that that isn't more what cops, how they spend their time. Just like standing outside of bars collecting pieces. And the easy, easy ticket. Fish in a barrel. Yeah, it really is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Crazy. Damn, well, why don't we really is like you can fish in a barrel. Crazy. Damn, well, why don't we make these? We'll take a little break. I'm going to do, how are you going to mix your guys' up? I'm going to fill a glass with ice, I think, and mix in the, I'm going to build in glass. Oh, I might shake just because I want some of that pineapple froth and I

want it to be cold as fuck. Ooh, froth. Damn. Froth me lungs. I might build in glass, but as far as the ratio that I'm following my heart, I'm going to go, I'm going to have an old fashioned glass with ice and I'm going to go two ounces of vodka and then top up.

So maybe I'll, maybe I'll get like, maybe I can get four ounces of juice and two ounces of vodka kind of vibe. And that feels right to me. I'm trying to read Tom's face. He seems to approve. He doesn't give a fuck. I do it the way grandma makes food and just goes

a little bit more of that. Yeah, pinch a dash. I feel like this is going to be a big adjust as you go more less. Great. I don't have measuring things. I like that. It's however you're feeling at the moment. I feel like I'm feeling about a two ounce or myself. No one and a half.

OK. All right, folks. Well, we're going to make these drinks. And when we come back, first sips. And we're back vodka pineapples in hand. Oh yeah. Looking good. Looking good. This was a nice one.

Nice easy one to make. Wow. I got my velvety shaken pineapple juice. Oh yeah. Frost. Clonk clonk clonk. Wow. I got my velvety shake and pineapple juice. Look at the frost. Clonk, clonk, clonk. I was proud that those ounces I guessed is exactly what fit in. I was able to get with my cubes. I got four ounces in here.

Feeling pretty good about it. Two to one. First sips. Here we go. Well. Well, well, well, I got to stir mine up. Holy shit. I always do just suck in the vodka off the top. I know. I was like, oh, wow.

Oh, my God. He's puking real bad down for the cow. I'm I seeing no ice in your glass. Not a nice guy, Tom. There's no ice here at forever dog. I found out. I thought there was ice in the freezer, but no, this is not one of those podcasts networks. Oh, you're, are you at a forever dog?

Yeah, I'm in my office at forever dog. You liking it over there? I love it here. Yeah. I want to scare office at forever. You liking it over there? I love it here. Yeah, I want to scare our people at a cast. Yeah, we're a risk by the way. Yeah. Look, the door is open. I'm offering something I've officially come on.

We'll triple the offer. We could be doing this fest in Hawaii. We got cash over here. Exactly. Ah, we'll triple the offer. We could be doing this fest in Hawaii if we want. We got cash over here. Exactly, we're going to be on the big island this year. I mean, we would definitely jump ship, but Acast has a lot of ice options. They got pebble ice.

Sure, well then pebble. You got the big sticks, the big rocks. These are the pros and cons, yeah. When were you out in LA? Sorry. When did you move to LA? Cause you were, when did I move to LA? Oh, uh, like right before the pandemic. Okay. I came, I came to New York right before the pandemic. Okay. Yeah. It was fun time to move. And I was like,

it was probably like, I was October 2019 and I was like, it was probably like, I was October 2019. And I was like, I was working on my book. And then I was like, I'm gonna be the guy who sits at friends and family and he's writing the book. That's right by me, Tom. And watching all the suckers. I, that's where I lived. I lived behind Jumbo's Clown Room when I came here.

I was on Winona. That's where I asked celebrity bartender, Jack Shrimp, if he's ever had a vodka pineapple. At Jumbo's Clown Room? It was, yeah. Geez, Luke. No, I was on Winona. I was in 1800, that huge apartment building

on the right side, if you're going toward Franklin. You know, that big one in the middle with the big, uh, it looks like Ukrainian flags on it. Yes. That's, that's the one. Yeah. And, uh, I loved it. Yeah. It's enormous. I like it too. I love it cause it's, it's also not a through street. So it's like, you don't have just cars passing through Willy nilly. It's a T on either side. You have to have a purpose down that street. It's not Normandy.

Yeah. If I see a car, I don't know. I say, what's your business here? Exactly. Then if you go up to Franklin, you look, you see the house that people say the black doll you was murdered in there. Yes. Right. Yeah. The end of the street. That's the Jaws house. And if I'm correct in thinking that was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.

Yes. Lloyd Wright. Yeah. His son. Just Lloyd Wright. Yeah. And it's a spooky. It's like every place looks like L.A. One of the things you realize is like, oh, you'll be somebody. I'll have a house looks like it's a in from New Mexico and then another person has a house that looks like it is in the Swiss Alps next to it.

But like that house you're just like somebody died in that. It's too perfect and not by a shark attack. No, he's surprised. You're telling me that the scariest house on the block is the place where there was black magic and a famous murder happened there. And you can rent that house for parties. They shoot there a lot. There's always film crews there. And then I see pictures of people, I guess there's a pool on the roof slash backyard.

I don't know. I've looked in from the other side to go off off Franklin to the back. You can kind of look into the house. It is creepy. Every part of that house is creepy. Really? Have you have you been to the murder house up? Oh, boy, that's up more towards the Greek. Oh, Glenn Files. Well, every house is technically could be a murder house. Sure. Sure. Eventually, the murder is time.

So where is the murder house? Which which you have murder? Glenn Files is the one I'm thinking that's like the dentist murder house that had the the lore there is that you can look through the or used to be able you can look through the window and see Christmas presents. This was on New Year's Eve when the murders happened. You see the presence still wrapped. I've heard about that. I never have seen it, though.

I don't think I've ever looked in. I've walked by it too freaked out. I didn't think I've ever looked in. I've walked by it, but too freaked out. I didn't see any presents. I did sneak up there. It's creepy as hell, though. It looks like a murder house. Like when they designed it, they were like, this will be perfect for a murder. And then the dentist, I think it was a ball peen hammer.

He killed his wife, at least, and maybe a kid. And then he drank acid. Ooh. That's no good. That's no good. Now, yeah, that's that's no good. That's no good. Now that was a fun neighborhood to be in and pandemic started almost immediately. And then I found myself being like reduced to going to Fred's and standing there was they hand you the bag when they every place had the table set up at the door,

you'd order the food, then they would just hand you the bag through plexiglass and being like, oh, this place, please don't go out of business, friends. Yeah. Please don't go out of business. House of Pies and Mustard Seed, they're my favorite places. House of Pies is pretty good.

House of Pies is pretty good. House of pies is the best. Now, allegedly, Reservoir Dog's written there. Really? Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. But people love to allege, you know, Shay J in Santa Monica,

it's like on a big clamshell. It's right out, it's a cool like dive bar right out, like on the beach in Santa Monica, They got a big clamshell. It's right out, it's a cool dive bar right out on the beach in San Monica. But I was reading on their menu, their lore, and they were like, rumor has it that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon put the finishing touches on Good Will Hunting here.

And I liked this, I looked up, where did they actually, they lived in Eagle Rock at the time So I like the idea for the finishing touches. They brought their desktop computer Sure smokehouse they roughed out act one Now they were writing that thing at Cindy's They beyond that you got if you're looking for a place to put the finishing touches, it better be Cindy's. The Eagle Rug.

Cindy's a place where they go, we're going to put pesto on top of that whether you want it or not. It's like, they always add two ingredients to everything that they don't need to add to it. It's like, get an omelet, and then it has pesto and caramelized onions on it, and you're like, whew. I'm sort of a pesto hater, but when we were recently in Philadelphia, there was some place that had a Mortadela hoagie

and they had pesto on it, but the pesto was made from pistachios instead of pine nuts or walnuts. Anyway, I was raving about this to Jeff. You've never seen a more bored guy in his life. I said, Jeff, the pesto's got pistachio. I love pistachio, right Jeff? Didn't give a fly and fuck about his friend. But then he brought it up later.

He mentioned pistachio. We're like, whoa, he was listening. That's true. He cares. I just can't show my emotions, Tim. You know, it's like, you got to hide your love away. I got to say, Tim, I don't know if this is one of these things that now because I know about it,

more to Della, I'm seeing it more, but I'm noticing the deli counters around my neighborhood are, it's already sliced in stock there in the case. Here's what's happening. Curious, it's very curious. I think it's all, and as a New Jerseyite, Tom, I'm curious to your take on like, New Jersey has become cool. I think during the pandemic, post sopranos, come on. Oh, those

guys were so cool. One of them. every slob on that show and your friends. I don't think, look, I was around for sopranos around one, but I mean the, I think the, the COVID when, when, when you were getting your friend 62 takeout, um, the COVID rewatch of sopranos, I think was a cultural event that led to everyone. Everyone was making memes about Gaba Ghoul, and then I was eating a lot of Gaba Ghoul because I rewatched the show and I was craving Gaba Ghoul. But then I was like, you know what?

I'm actually kind of more into Mortadella. So I thought I was being- Ooh, a discerning man. A discerning man. And I think every asshole like me that wanted to not eat the meme meat then, because now I see Mortadella hats and sweatshirts all over the place. man. on the internet. I think it's also like with the pandemic and working from home, people are like, hey, I can get out of New York and not have to live in a shoe box for a house. Yeah.

Yeah. It just works. I just love how this stuff dovetails so nicely. Tim. With the Sopranos thing, the best place I think to go to is in Montclair, Bloomfield, right on the edge there. Holston's is the ice cream place in Montclair Bloomfield right on the edge there. Holston's is the ice cream place where the final scenes took place.

Oh, and you can go there. The one episode I haven't seen. Oh, get ready. Kidding, kidding. Oh, your mind's gonna be. When I worked on Monk, there was a writer, we all watched, oh, Sopranos, Finale, everything. And this guy came and he's like I thought the finale sucked

It's like really it's like he's like, what was the first episode I ever watched? It's just like Was judging it over one It was like please just stop stop like the biggest cultural show. Yeah, it's the only one I ever watched but I I didn't like it If you go there you can go to Holston's. It's this pretty much the same the way it was on the show, except they add the juke of the jukebox. They don't have jukeboxes at the booths, but you can sit at that booth where they filmed

and they still have the jukebox there and you can sit right where Tony sat and order onion rings. I'll be just like him if I sit there. No thanks. You can park out front just like a meadow did. Yeah late I might add. That's literally shot across the street there's a bank right across they shot all that there so. Wild. Wow. Pretty amazing. Yeah. Wait. So you were writing, you were writing Monk to New York or in we wrote it in New Jersey. Yeah. It was it just weirdly worked with the guy who created the show. Andy Breckman. Yeah. Mike knows him. No, we would talk on set. Oh yeah. No, Andy. Okay. Yeah. You and Andy were pretty tight. He, he lived in New Jersey also. He also was on WFMU.

That's where we had. And he rightfully was like the show for the first season shot in Toronto. So we were like, that's a 45 minute plane. Yeah, yeah. From Newark to Toronto. And he's like, I'm not going to uproot my entire family to Toronto for a thing.

Like, we're going to write it here. I don't know if the show is going to last. And then weirdly it stayed around. And then they moved production to LA. And then it got a little, we just had to have a writer on set. But the writers stayed in that office. I would go back and forth. But on the whole, we wrote it in New Jersey, yeah. Stayed in that office. I would go back and forth.

But on the whole, we wrote it in New Jersey. Yeah. That's kind of nice. Were you the onset writer for the basketball episode with Mike Hanford? I was not. I was not. Do you wish you were? I knew we were in good hands.

I looked at the extra list and I was like, I don't have to travel for the rest. We got Jennifer Lawrence. We got Mike's locked in. We're good to go on this one. This one's locked in, nothing to worry about. Well, I was so locked in, I lost my Carhartt jacket that I still think about to this day. I did, it's the only place.

We've got that, we've got it. Yeah, Brickman. I would love to come by. Brickman's wearing it all the time. They hold all the extras leave behind. I need to see the the gloss and found box. Tony's got it. He's going to stretch that thing out.

Suck it. No, Ted Levine's been wearing your your car hard jacket. This was a nice one. Are there any other writers from in Jersey like Kevin Smith? Yeah, I was going to say like, is Kevin Smith the patron saint of Jersey writers? Oh, he's the patron saint. Yeah.

And y'all pray to him before you start your day. I was proud watching him declare himself as the representative of New Jersey. But I've been to his store, secret stash and read. I would go there. Sure. I did a pilgrimage. My high school buddies before we went to college were like, we're going to drive down and we're

going to see the quick stop. Leonardo, New Jersey. Oh, yes. So yeah, they're like neighboring. But we and then we went to the Stash. Sure enough, Kevin Smith walked in and we were all a little starstruck. That's pretty cool. I will say this. are his things for me.

No, they're not. But he signs anything in that store and doesn't charge more for the autograph, which I was just like, oh, he has signed this sign that and it's just whatever the price on the cover is, is what it costs like. He's not gouging the fans by a. Yeah. So good on him for that. We don't charge for autographs either.

We should think about that. Should. I do. I made my pilgrimage to the Hello Deli where Rupert G from Leibn was. And it was great because I thought he would be behind the counter working, but there was a lady working the counter

and he was just sitting on a chair, like a tall tall in my memory It's a lifeguard chair, but I'm sure it wasn't He was not looking at a phone he was not reading a newspaper He was just sitting and and you buy your stuff and then you ask ask Rupert G for an autograph and he signed stuff Wow, he just sat there in silence all day. That's, yeah. Isn't that funny to think like at a certain point

he's like, well, this is what the business is now. It's not a deli anymore, it is, but like that's not the main attraction. The attraction here isn't the food anymore. Yeah, he became Mickey Mouse. All of a sudden. Oh, much to his accountant's delight, I'm so sure. Mike. No, come on, you's delight. I'm so Mike.

No, come on. You got to imagine this guy was getting paid. Andy Breckman. Did Andy Breckman open for Don McLean? Don McLean. Yeah, that's one of the funniest things ever. He wrote he wrote this this article. I think it was for the WFMU magazine, which was a thing at one point, telling the story of opening for Don McLean, it's what it should be floating around online. It's so funny. It

didn't go well. Like, there's one part in it that's like, because Andy was a young folk, folky, funny folk guy. And like he was opening and then there was like a review in the paper and Don McLean, and he's like, Oh, can I see the review? And Don McLean is like, they hated us kid. And he throws the review in the garbage and then Andy like fishes it out after Don leaves and it's like, no, they hated Don McLean. They actually liked Andy.

What a jerk. They hated us kid. He would start, Don McLean would also say like, yeah, I'm gonna hang around. Maybe I'll sign some Dick autographs after the show. His idea of meeting ladies on the road. He called them. Oh man. Yeah, no, he was a, and then Andy Ritalia and he would read his set list because like

Don setlist was taped on the floor. Andy would come out ahead of time and go, Hey, let's see what song is Don's going to play tonight. Okay. It's going to do, Oh, he's going to do American pie. And the last song of the show is going to be American pie. That's fucking great. And then he got fired from now. Andy's one of the funniest people ever.

Andy was a original letterman guy for late night. And he was an SNL writer. He wrote the Eddie Murphy White Like Me sketch. Oh, yeah. Andy wrote that. He's written a bunch of stuff. And then he wrote a bunch of movies. And then Monk was his first TV thing.

And I was working as his assistant and That was the first person hired I guess and on the one the writing I was the first person hired So that was my first job. That's what you were his assistant and then and then God Sorry, is this isn't on the show or then you got no, but there were the show He would write movies and basically being assistant. I would go over his house. Yeah. And he'd be working on a script and he would just need somebody to be a sounding board. And I would.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Kick scenes around. I'd come up with I'd throw ideas at least. And they didn't make it in. But at least he saw that I was I could do this. And then he's like, that's the best version of an assistant. Like, oh, my God, it's the best thing ever. Yeah, it's like it's like a TV show. It's like, I got to be this

rock and roll stars of valet for the weekend. I got to run to Office Depot. Now we would just go to a diner and eat. That's so awesome. That's great. Dang. Well, I'm going to steer it back to the drink real quick. Oh, right. The drink. I'm done with mine. I'm slurped that thing down. I got to say, like just straight out the gate.

This is far more balanced than I thought it would be like two to one kind of nails it. It's it's sweet. I can't really taste the vodka, which is risky, but good. That's the risky part of it. Yeah. Is there alcohol in this thing? And it's something like, oh, no. Yes, there was. Oh, no, is there alcohol in this thing? And then suddenly you're like, oh, no. Yes, there was. Oh, no, there wasn't.

I'm just a fucking weird. I'm acting weird. I'm very impressionable. I can get drunk if somebody tells me there's alcohol. If they suggest that there's alcohol. Well, I thought I hadn't heard of this, but did I ever tell you guys about my neighbor Rupert? No, no, Rupert.

I don't think I not Rupert G from the Hello Deli. No, no, this is a different, different Rupert. No, I don't. I don't think I know about this. I haven't told you about Rupert. Huh? Not lately, at least. Well, this sounds like an imaginary person. So no, I don't. Well, let's hear about Tom. Well, um. This sounds like an imaginary person. No, no, no. Tom, no. I don't, well, let's hear him out, Tom.

Okay, okay, fair enough. This could go someplace wonderful. Well, Rupert, he's got a lot of computer problems. He reaches out to me, like, Hey, Jeff, can you look at my MacBook? I got a, I'm having some trouble. Because you're a tech guy. We all got one of those people that are alive.

Yeah, sure. And so, and I'm a good neighbor. I'll go over there. I'm like State Farm. And I was like, yeah, let me at that thing. Rupert. And I didn't know his last name. Doesn't really matter. And I was like, the problem is you got too many files on here. These files go back a long time. And then he left the room and I was clicking through the problem is you got too many files on here. These files go back a long time. And he left the room and I was clicking through and they were all. It was all music. This is a Rupert's computer, Rupert's computer, a lot of music. Gotcha.

And I'm trying to I'm like looking through and I see drafts. Well, this is interesting. And then he comes he comes back and he said, my last name is Holmes, by the way, Rupert Holmes. Oh, shit. What? Now, wait a minute. Now, what if you don't know who that is? Well, you should know who he is. Well, and it's also weird that you're telling me.

You specifically said the last name didn't really matter. But to me, to me, that's a big it's a notable last name because I know he volunteered it. So I'm telling you guys. Oh, so so you're saying don't shoot the messenger. You're just telling us factually what happened when I like that. It's kind of immaterial, but you know, so I'm like, well, let me you can get rid of some of this stuff. And he's like, well, keep those drafts.

Those times, nostalgic for some of those drafts. OK, cool. And so but I took a couple of the songs, one in particular, one in particular I took and I put it on a flash drive and I brought it back to my place. How many total did you take and then just how many in particular is the one? I only took one. For the sake of this, I only took one. That's all the space you had on your thumb drive. Right?

Right. Exactly. Gotcha. Was it one of those things where you're like in a movie, you're watching the thing go up, the count for the download to happen, and he's coming closer, and your? Rupert's shoes are walking down the hallway. He's taking a long piss, and I'm like, come on. 65%, 67%. Rupert, did you wash your hands?

I hope you're right back to the men's room. Well, he's old. He's an older guy, Rupert, did you wash your hands? I hope you're right back to the men's room. Well, he's old. He's an older guy, Rupert. OK. He's an older guy. But anyway, I was like, vodka pineapple. I thought I had heard of that. And see if you can spot it in this I'm going to play.

This is the song I got off his laptop. Oh. Never doin' the dishes. Yeah. Never gettin' along. Telling you immediately. So while we're watchin' Morgan Minde. I read the paper instead. In the Wattance. There was this letter I read. If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud. Not as good.

If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud. Not as good. If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud. Not as good. If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud.

Not as good. If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud. Not as good. If you like vodka, pineapple. And gettin' stuck in the mud. Not as good. If you like vodka, pineapple, and getting stuck in the mud. If you don't do Sudoku, if you need an abud. If you like playing fucking Fortnite in the doos of the cape. We should split an apartment

Bring CDs and some tapes to fix his laptop the very day that we talk about it here on the pod. That's nuts. That's absolutely nuts. Gizmit. Pretty wild. He was also an early Sudoku adapter. Yeah. Nearly. Yeah. So he's at a time, you don't know when this was recorded, Jeff, because he's talking about CD and tapes and Sudoku. I'm trying to put together where this was.

Well, I mean, the Pina Colada song is, this is earlier than what, 76 or something. Right. Because he wouldn't go back and keep working on a Pina Colada song is, this is earlier than what, 76 or something. Right. Because he wouldn't go back and keep working on a Pina Colada song. Well, but then he did mention, I mean, he must've just been way ahead of the game with Fortnite. Probably. From the first year. For sure.

For Fortnite, yeah. I don't know how that got in. Who's like a huge Fortnite fan? I know who plays Fortnite. Me and Jeff. All right. No, that's what I mean. I know I've, I did a voice on Fortnite.

And then really, yeah, I was a DJ. Oh, on early versions of Fortnite where I'm like, is anybody out there or is anything like something like that? I know what it was like at first. They're like, hey, we're doing this game. They came in. I did that. And then it blew up. And then I came in to do more

and I would drive into Midtown Manhattan to do these voice jobs. I was kind of like, hey, can you guys like it was now? It was one of those things. Hey, for nights, 16 billion dollars in three months. And I was like, can I hand it? Can I get like my parking covered on this? And then I think they fired me after that. I never got the call again because I asked for $30 for parking.

How dare you? They were making $B billion. That sucks. They should have given you back pay for the first time you did it. Like, who's that guy who did all the graffiti at the Facebook headquarters and ended up filthy rich? Oh, Banksy. I don't know.

David Choi? I'm not sure. Some artist is like a millionaire because he got paid in Facebook stock for doing like street art around the campus. I saw like a thing where the lady that invented the Nike swoosh was just like a graphic designer on the campus. or whatever, but she never got any percentage of anything and she's fine with it. She was like, I was getting a salary and that's what my job was.

I mean, we don't talk about all the weird symbols she's come up with in her life that didn't do anything. Each year I get a pair of Air Force ones. And I dunk all night. I dunk all night until they wear out. I can't dunk without my ones. Damn, well, hey, do you want to do a second round and then we'll come back and wrap it up?

I do want to do a second round. I'm going to do what bartenders are not supposed to do. I'm going to do a 50-50 this time and see if I hallucinate. Oh, so you're going to goose it up as you go. Yep. I'll do a 50-50 too, but you know what I have? I also bought some pineapple mango juice.

I'm going to try that. My nasty. Why not? I happen to have a little lime juice. I'm just going to give it a little spritz. Oh, squeeze. Although that might make it a drink like a that sounds like something that might exist. Right.

That's worth a Google. Oh, you know what's funny? When I was Googling to see if there was a name for this, I found people on Reddit, bartenders on Reddit talking about there's a common misconception where like someone says is ordering pineapple vodka, like pineapple flavored vodka. Oh. And then they'll get served this

and then they'll be mad or vice versa. It's a real who's on first. Rupert almost had that same problem, Tim. I wonder if we ever found that roommate. Nah, I think he was like, I think it works better as like a lover. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like stuck in the mud, that doesn't work. Yeah. I love songs are huge. But I did love on this early version. I did love his vocal performance. He was really digging it out. Yeah, almost better. I'll tell him. I'm going to tell him. Oh, I'm going to go mix up my my next one.

All right, folks, we'll be right back with more sloppy boys. And we're back with round two vodka pineapples. I got to say I did the 50 50. Oh, and it's you can't really even notice that either really Not so much I It's uh, and I gotta say the alcohol content that kind of aligns with my lifestyle actually I kind of like the 5050. Hey, that's kind of lines with your lifestyle. Yeah Wait, you're not talking about the movie 5050. Are you okay? movie 50 50. Are you okay? Are you?

Oh no. Do you have cancer? The 50 50 breakdown of pineapple to vodka in this drink aligns with my lifestyle. Okay. Gotcha. I didn't quite do full 50 50, but I did more vodka and you're right. This vodka is a bit of a chameleon.

It's a secret assassin. What kind of vodka did you use guys? Tito's. Ooh. Yeah, me too. Seagram's. Oh yeah. And then that I did a little lime juice and so I got a whole tropical Jubilee happening.

I do think that that is the reason for it. Like in the in the juicy drink 70s and 80s and stuff like vodka yeah doesn't it does disappear because it's just like alcohol it's not it doesn't have barrel wood taste or like anything else going on so if you want something to disappear this is your best bet well let's give our final thoughts Tom we'll start with you how do you feel about it? Oh, about the drink. Oh, I like the drink. I like it a lot.

I had the best time with the three of you. It's an honor to have been here. I'd be remiss if I didn't shout out our mutual friend, Liz, with two Zs. Oh, hell yeah. Liz from Vancouver. Yes. Oh, big, huge, huge slop head, Liz. No,'s. Oh hell yeah. Liz from Vancouver. Yes. Oh, big huge, huge slop head Liz. No, I know, I know.

I feel like it's a bit of a competition. Best show, slobbery boys. She's gonna shit. This is a crossover she's been dreaming of. I get disappointed though when somebody is like a fan of ours and they're like, hey we have a fan, and then they find out they also listen to Comedy Bang Bang or something, I'm like, what the?

How dare you? Yeah. Well, let's see that at least, that's in at least the realm of acceptability. But when somebody's like, these are my favorite shows, like best show, or like Tom Segura. And you're just like, what? What's the through line?

Guys named Tom? Like, stop listening to me. I love Tom Sharura. And you're just like, what? What's the through line? Guys named Tom. Like, stop listening to me. I love Tom Sharpling. I love Tom Lycus. Yeah, I like Tom Lycus. When we were in Detroit just recently, we were on a little podcast tour. And I was talking to some lady, some bartender,

and I was like, yeah, we do a do the show. It's a podcast. It is a band. It's fun. She's like, oh, I like comedy. Me and my boyfriend were watching Tom Segura. I was like, okay. Yeah.

Okay. You can't be like, well, it's different than that. Yeah, he's just like, well, he's bad. You need to be careful. He's the opposite of me because I'm good and he's bad. And he's bad. Yeah, you understand. She was like, oh wait, you like break down comedy.

You don't just see comedy as one genre. I said, Oh yeah, I get it. I get it. I break it down a little bit. No, that's the way when you go like they would never put a sign on the sandwich board outside of a bar that just said music. Music going on here. But they will write comedy on this thing.

And be like, come on in, comedy's happening in here. Get ready to laugh. Damn. Mike, Tim, your thoughts? My thoughts are kind of, it's really, really good. And that if you're a person who wants to not taste your booze, this is really the one for you. Because pineapple juice.

If you hate booze, this is your drink. Pineapple juice really, it's strong, it goes a long way. Someone once told me like, hey, if you see blood in a pool, don't worry, like a little bit of blood in a pool looks like a lot of blood in a pool. So, because red blood really spreads a lot. So, don't make a big thing, you'll see blood in the pool. I would say the same thing. Don't make a big deal.

That's life comes, don't worry about that. We don't need to scare the other swimmers. Set my town pool back home. Don't go around raising eyebrows. Well, I would say that pineapple in the cocktail world is like the blood of the pool. Pineapple can really infiltrate, you know, it doesn't take a lot the cocktail world is like the blood of the pool. Pineapple can really infiltrate. It doesn't take a lot of pineapple

to really do a lot of work here. But so I feel like we need to, what was it, the creek breeze? I think that this is a, you don't need your, whatever, the grenadine or the crayon or whatever makes it the other breezes. This is delicious. What was in a swamp water chartreuse chartreuse and pineapple juice green charters swamp breeze is kind of a fun one this is a order again for me for sure and I'll tell you what this is a drink to me that

I'm thinking you could go you could do anything you want to this drink it's it almost seems like a base of just like a juicy, fruity drink. And then you can add our shot. You can add a bitters or whatever. Yeah, I think it's a nice. It's a funny little it's a funny little drink you got here, Tom. Thanks. It's also a parking lot drink, I will say. Yeah. You need two things for it.

Yep. You can make it in out of trunk as they say. Is it possible that the said parking lot young Tom, would it have been a wall parking lot? I wouldn't get drunk in a wall. It's a disrespectful to wall. It's a classy place. They got produce. Sober to a wah-wah.

No, I love wah-wah so much. One of the few things I miss about the East Coast is the lack of wah-wahs out here. Oh. It's the best. I've been to a handful of wah-wahs, love them. We know what I'm hearing more recently about Buc-ee's, people in like, Texas I think, in the South, talking Buc-ee's.

We passed a bunch of Buc-ee's, yeah. It's the Wawa of the South I'm hearing. Yeah, stay away from Sheetz though. Sheetz is- Sheetz Pizza, we've come across that too. Is that bad or just bad people? We kept moving. Sheetz with a Z, it's Western Pennsylvania.

Yes. So it's kind of like a little more meth E than a wall wall Little more just a touch. Yeah, what about on your travels? Have you been to a Waffle House? Oh, yeah I love Waffle House. We went to one once and for breakfast We've now realized it's more of a late-night place and it was the worst food we ever had in our lives. Yeah, it was god awful. Sorry. No, that's okay.

No, we'll make it up to you next time. You didn't cook the food. We accept your apology. No. Do you ever do a Culver's, Tom? Culver's, no. We were new to Culver's. We just had our first Culver's

and it was quickly followed by our second Culver's. And where was Culver's? Midwest, it's a Wisconsin based thing. And it's fun cause it's a burger place, but because it's the Midwest, it's a Wisconsin based thing. And it's fun because it's a burger place, but because it's the Midwest, you could also get like a pot roast sandwich. Or like a, I got a pork loin. It's very charmed and very good,

but they seem to hire exclusively 14 year olds who are scared to be there is the only issue. That's sleepy food. Yeah, right. Oh yeah. That's sleepy food. Yeah. Right. Oh yeah. That's like nap time food. Well, we were in the van and I was going to be,

my turn to lay down, sprawl out in the back. So, you know, I have some pork loins and smooths off. My turn to drive. So I had extra gravy on my burger. Now I know I have a feeling Jeff's trying to wrap up the show, but I just remember. Well, let me give my little final thought here. Oh, shit.

Folks, I didn't know what I was getting into. But you're right. Like this is as far as a utilitarian, like you can only pick two ingredients. Yeah. You'd be hard pressed to find two that jive like vodka and pineapple juice. I'm kind of I'm kind of astonished you don't hear about this. I'm with you, Jeff. I can't believe that one quick search wasn't like,

oh, that's called the blank. Yeah. Amazing. It's amazing. There's also something beautiful about vodka from Mother Russia combining with pineapples from Hawaii. They shouldn't be together. But in this modern age with shipping being one of these,

we can create it. In this modern age where shipping being one of these, we can create it. It's this modern age where Russia and America are getting along. It's like the end of Rocky IV. Yeah. In a way. It's working.

Kind of a perfect score here for the old vodka pineapple. Not too bad. What if we name it the Sloppy Tom? Sloppy Tom officially. That's not a bad idea. This is pretty good. Drink of the summer cocktail of the summer 2025. Shit.

Why not? Why not? Yeah. I like that. Oh, you could put a cherry in here. No problem. Absolutely. You throw anything in one of these things.

It wouldn't be an issue. It wouldn't be an issue. You'd be fine. No one would even comment on it. You drop a pork loin in this thing and probably get away with If you got a big enough glass, I'm with you In mine nobody's gonna know just a little pork bone Did you have anything earth? Can I sign off? Um, oh well, I was gonna be really Greedy and just say that because I had two drinks in me and somebody from New Jersey is here, I wanted to ask Tom what he thinks of Bruce

Springsteen. Oh, yeah, I like Bruce Springsteen. Because specifically, I know you're into cool indie rock and stuff like that, which I'm too, but in my core, I'm a Bruce guy. Of course. So what's it like to like both? I mean, to know, to hear both. Do you hate them if you're from there?

No, it's a look. The only time I stepped away from Bruce Springsteen is when I was in my early teens, when he was doing the whole born in the USA thing. It was too much at that point. I can see that being like, hey, that was our guy. It was smothering because it's all anybody talked about in that era. And you're just so, so just like I would reflexively push back on it,

but I was into it, got out and I got back in. I never got back out again. I have this, I have this tattoo. I only give one tattoo. Oh, there you go. I did a 24 hour episode of the best show and I got a tattoo in the 23rd hour of New Jersey on my wrist. Did you have the design picked out before you did the tattoo or was it in the 23rd? The guy just showed me a basic state out one. Okay. It wasn't like in your 23rd hour you were?

No, no, no. That was it was predetermined. Yes. I didn't want some guy to like, well, it kind of looks like they did. Let's write NJ on it. It kind of looks like a Dick. I want a New Jersey.

Exactly. No, I was, yeah. But I got that. I just want to thank you guys for having me on. This has been a real treat. Oh, thanks. Thanks so much. And I want to say to Liz that you can pick Sloppy Boys first

because they deserve it because they're the best. Oh, damn. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys. We release these recipes ahead of time. If you can't get enough boys, you know, it's patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys, we release these recipes ahead of time. If you can't get enough boys, you know it's patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys. That's where you get the good show and you can actually help the whole operation.

Isn't that great? Yeah, that's great. Ooh yeah. That's good. Tom, thanks for coming on, man. Where can people find you? What are you up to? Oh, well, I do the best show every Tuesday night

and we are, this is the 25th year of me doing the best show. The best show can rent a car now. You should do an episode in a car in a rented car. No, it's we do it every Tuesday. You can find it. Just search it. It's there. Is it still coming out like like when you run Tuesday? Is it live and then goes to a podcast a couple of hours later? Yeah, we got you. We just do it.

You can listen to the live stream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I like that you still do it. And then you can get it as a podcast. Whatever. Do you have any advice for a podcast that's maybe two or three years old and would like to hit that sort of milestone. Don't do it. Don't hit the milestone.

Don't do it. You heard him, folks. I've been telling you. This is a trap. It's a trap. We gotta get out. Run. Okay, message received.

Let's run. Thanks for listening, folks. We love you. We'll see you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening folks, we love you, we'll see you next week. Bye!