The Sloppy Boys - 233. Grape Ape

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

The guys reckon with a purple powerhouse that ambushed them on a recent tour!GRAPE APE RECIPE:1.5oz/45ml CITRUS VODKA1.5oz/45ml SOUR MIX1.50z/45ml GRAPE SODA Combine vodka and sour mix in a glass filled with ice. Top with grape soda. Add two (or even three) straws and drink quickly, shotgun style.Recipe via The Loon Cale Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey folks, welcome to the Slappy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? Oh, and we're your hosts, the band the sloppy boys. Oh, it's true.

Back at it. Oh, for one more show. Playing live in your town. Oh, in general, a one more show. Playing live in your town. Oh! In general, a lot going on. Doesn't it feel right now like the offices of Sloppyways LLC kind of a bullpen vibe, putting the pot of coffee on all night.

Hey, you do this! No, you do this! Yes. See, I'm also just arguing who's gonna do stuff. No one has done anything yet. And HR is just slammed with all sorts of issues. I'm HR. I've been hearing a lot of shit between you two.

The amount of the amount of groping accusations between the three of us. Yes, there's a lot of power imbalance. I got one. I'm the HR person across my desk comes Tim fondling himself in the in his own room. So I don't know why that comes across to my desk. And then filing a report with you. Yeah, I don't know. We have to have limitations desk. And then filing a report with you. Yeah, I don't know. We have to have limitations and boundaries.

I've on my shaft. I've on my scrotum. And your guys buttons work, right? The buttons I put on each of your desks? Mm-hmm. Easy button? That's right. No, the Matt Lauer button.

Oh yeah. Oh. I set it up wrong and I've been a trap door and I keep sliding out of my house. Like a Wallace and Gromit? Yeah. Hey guys, this is Milan Patel, official editor of the pod. I just want to say before we move forward

that the guys are just joking about all this groping and fondling stuff. Jeff does not have a button that he puts on my desk. I've worked for Sloppy Boys LLC for over a year now and it's a great place to work. I've never experienced anything inappropriate nor have I been accused of doing anything inappropriate. I think I feel safe around the guys

and I think they feel safe around me. So just wanna get that out of the way, enjoy the rest of the episode. I watched the new Wallace and Gromit on Netflix. I started it. I started it. It's fun to catch up with those two Brits. There's a new. There's a new one.

It was nominated for an Oscar, but it was, it's on Netflix only, I think. And you know what they say, clay doesn't age. That's right. Clay don't age. That's right, clay don't age. Yes, I've heard so many people say that. I didn't know what they were referring to. What is little Clay Aiken up to these days?

Probably still hoping for his win to win the show. But he seems like the type of artist who could be having a great career and you drive by like a casino. It's like Clay Aiken for Five Nights in a Row and like, oh, all right. Yeah, right. Or it's like he's working at Trader Joe's and doesn't want to be highlighted about it. I just saw Ludacris on one of those things.

I was like, that would be a fun show to see Ludacris do some stuff. Because I'm sure I don't know many Ludacris songs, but I'm sure I know the ones he's going to be playing. Man, we got to do a Luda deep dive. I know we should. Luda. Tim and I just had chicken and beer. His restaurant at LAX. Oh yeah. Really? What do we have? Did either of us had chicken or beer? I don't think so. I think I had fried green tomatoes and Bloody Mary. Yeah.

Two tomato things. The waiter's like, are you sure sir? The fucking place should be called the tomato and tomato. You know, why don't you take those fried green tomatoes, put them in a fucking cup, blend those up, put vodka on that and give me that. Shit.

Baby. Mike, have you gotten adventurous in the kitchen lately? I was just today trying to I'm trying to make a do a ramen at Home, and it was not very good. I did chicken broth. I feel like you've nailed it in the past Why now are you inspiring that's more Jeff Jeff Jeff's better with that stuff and don't forget me in my pad of butter That's true. Well, I added the pad of art, but here's the thing I wasn't using the good noodles from like the the Maruchan noodles. Yeah, I added the pad part, but here's the thing. I wasn't using the good noodles from like the Maruchan noodles. I was using some keto thing I got. And they're not that great.

They're just not good. And these things, they're made from like like some ginger root or something. And they just kind of like you bite into them and your the noodles, you bite into them and your jaws kind of spring back because they're so chewy. Rubbery. Yeah, you could never. I once I bought a bunch of like and the doodles you bite into them and your jaws kind of spring back because they're so chewy, rubbery. Yeah, you could never, I one time bought a bunch of like. Like vegetable pasta.

Yes, zero carb noodles and it's like, this isn't worth it, this is something else. Even when you try with the zoodles, you're like, I would just rather eat some zucchini and not pretend it's spaghetti. Oh yeah. Oh zoodles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oodles of zoodles. Stop. Oh. Well now, come on. I Oodles of Zoodles. Stop. Oh, well, come on. I do like the Zoodle maker, though, like that's the thing where you kind of put a zucchini and it's almost like a pencil sharpener. You know, it was. Oh, yeah. You know, it's just like it's it skins it just so sharpens it.

Sharps and you can write down what things you need of the your grocers garden. Oh, I have a bit of a personal development. Oh, it's not bad. It's good. Are you jacked by June? No, that's going terribly. Oh, mine's going not bad. Really? In so much that I've been going and I'm not jacked by any stretch, but I'm getting to the gym more often than I was when I wasn't. I'm skipping leg day. I'm skipping chest day and back day. Arm day is getting done. Jeff, come on. Skipping leg day. Oh, I'm skipping every day.

I feel like you went this weekend, did you not? I went once. I went before St. Pat's because I was like, I'm going to punish my body all weekend. I want to get one gym day in there in the morning. But wait, this is my this is my story. We've all been there. You got to do that.

You got a guitar pedal. Oh, yeah. Busted. Doesn't work. You remember my big muffed pedal? Yeah. The big metal guy. There's a million kinds of big muff, but this is the silvery one with the pie symbol on it. We had it ever since the old house. No. Yeah, stop working. I got a replacement What a little guy. Yeah, I got a replacement one too for the pedal board because it needs to be a smaller form factor Yeah, I still want the big one to work, especially for bass doesn't work

So I found this place called future music in Highland Park. Have you heard of that? No So I talked to Jack at future Music and I left him the. Jack, he's like, leave it to me. And, you know, then we go on tour, whatever, we come back and I and Jack's on tour. Oh, curveball. And so now I'm waiting for Jack to get back. He's got a podcast of himself. He's got he's got a band, Mike.

He's a musician like us. Very good. And he says to me, I don't know what happened. I checked every transistor. I brought it outside, looked at it in the daylight. And then I cleaned all the contacts again. I couldn't tell you what went wrong with it, but it's fixed now. Oh. Normally, I like to know what I did in order to fix something.

It gives me a sense of confidence, but I don't know what happened to it or how I fixed it. So I'm going to give it to you for free. Me? Woo! Fixed pedal. He fixed it for free. He said it's on the house because I couldn't tell you what I did. That's great

Wow, that's a that is in this day and age Well, you know everyone's chasing the all-ideal or that is nice to have everyone's trying to fuck you I don't think you owe anyone anything if you didn't know you did it like like if someone says now but a craftsman Tim People Hollywood comes me say hey Tim write a script and then what? A craftsman, Tim, a craftsman. How about this, people, you know, Hollywood comes to me and say, hey Tim, write a script, and then what happens, the magic happens, the magic occurs,

and I give them one of my amazing scripts. I wouldn't be able to tell them what I did. It just came through me. Yeah, you're a conduit. You're like a medium. This is why I don't charge for my scripts. The scripts are on the house. Could be a reason maybe some of your scripts

aren't getting produced either. I'm starting to notice that. You got it? I'm noticing that too. I send these scripts out to execs and they're like, we don't do this. What? But it's a script.

That's what you need. I send them out. I email them out free of charge. I'm like, hey, I wrote this. I don't know how. Here. And they're like, here. Do you need it?

Then you go to the multiplex. No sign of them. I know. I just show up there, here, here, did you need it? Then you go to the multiplex, no sign of them. I know. I just show up there by the popcorn. And then I'm looking at the cinema like, what the? Hey, what the hell? Didn't take, I guess. You're bringing back Life of Pi and not my new thing.

Movie by Guy. Movie by Guy, Life of Pi. Well, did we get some booze news? Yeah. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boose news, hit it. I read the news today to see if I could read I focused on the page the page that just said boo What have I become? Oh, sloppy timing.

I have a free Tim. I know is my boy. In the end. Wow. And you have a full borrow. Let him sing My Jeff of Docks Oh, that's good I will let Mike know

He's Hanford In the end And it is booze In the end It is Boosloos My sloppy head He never says what you think he's gonna say Or when you think he's gonna say it He's a vague undertraining of the song At the end It's Boos News motherfuckers. Did you know that this was actually because 9 inch nails, it's a 9 inch, it's more actually

Trent Reznor's song than actually Johnny Cash's. But in case you still thought that maybe it was a Johnny Cash song, it's actually not. It's just a cover. Kurt was sent to us by the one and only Tommy Marshall, who you may know as the author of Craft Cocktails Made Simple. Yes, I know. Available at Dollar Tree stores all around North America. It's the book that features the Calpicoagul, the Russian Root, and the Southern Sipper. We met him in Toronto. Yeah, that's a good one, Tommy Marshall. Yes, Toronto. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one Tommy Marshall. Yes, it's a right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was uh, that was a good It's a very funny song Tommy. We got to get you on rhythm next

Tommy's funny Tommy's a comedy guy and that was funny But then also he approached it with the confidence of someone that signs up for a karaoke song Where does the chorus actually go? I was waiting for the big belt. The like and you could have it. And of course he's reading his lyrics. And also it's like the apartment singing factor. He's not going for that. Yeah. Made famous by Adam Venor. We know all the guys with the quiet apartment complexes who make booze news themes. who make booze news themes. Venor. Okay, well today's booze news is kind of a real personal

thing I got to get into. I owe an apology to the listeners. Oh. This doesn't happen every day listeners. No this is like when you're like, hey why is Dan Rather doing this serious address to the camera? Letterman seems off.

Is everything okay in his personal life? That was, remember when David Letterman seems off. Is everything okay in his personal life? Remember when David Letterman was getting blackmailed about an affair? Yeah, that's what I'm referencing. But I don't know that our 28 year old viewers were watching live that night like I was. Right, right.

That was crazy. I can't remember if I saw a clip of it, but where would I have seen a clip? NBC. Yeah, I think I was watching it live. I watched it. NBC. Yeah, I think I was watching it live. I watched it. NBC. Yeah. NBC. Yeah.

They're always reporting CBS's late night sketch. Oh yeah, shit. Well, there you go. I just fuck with you man. Don't ever make a mistake around me, I told you. I have to fess up that I did, I feel like as editor in chief in Boo's News, I did a bad job recently where something huge slipped by me.

I should have reported on it, which was few weeks ago. I should have been all over this. St. Patrick's Day, folks splitting the G. Oh, I heard about this. Yeah, too late though. Nah, I heard, actually, yeah, Mike, you tipped me off to it by accidentally. You sent me a podcast referring to something else, but elsewhere on that podcast they were

playing. Yes, that's what I heard about this. Folks, in case you don't know, this was big before St. Patrick's Day and then hit its peak and is still big where it's this thing where you drink a Guinness pint, you try to chug it right down so that the level of the liquid is at where the G is on the pint glass. One sip, first sip. Yeah, that's cool.

One sip, first sip, and you're basically, you have to become a genius of liquid volume. Yeah, well, and it probably takes a little practice. I was at a bar and I was, it was on a Sunday, I was, it was on a Sunday I think, this past Sunday, and I saw some people drinking Guinnesses and one of the girls was drinking it and her friend was like, oh, you're close.

And then like messed her up drinking and she was like, what, I had it, what are you doing? She's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So fun. But it made me think, oh shit, I want to do this. And then the beer I got didn't come in a, well, I kind of Pilsner. So it didn't come in a Guinness glass.

Um, I saw somebody do it. Jeff, did you attempt that? I maybe Mitch somebody over, over the, the was doing it. No, you know, what kills me is the cup was wrong. You need the actual Guinness. You need the Guinness, uh, curvy pine. Yeah. Right.

Right. Right. Oh, you had, you had, you had a harp cup. Yeah. I have split the age. And like a little plastic guy, too. But it's lower. The harp was way down there. Right. Speaking of Ryan Lowe, we can cut this if it's not something that he wants us to talk about. I saw you guys to a video

of the two of you and Mitch and who is the third person? Maybe Emma. No, I was gone. It was Mookie and Mitch and- Oh, Mookie, Mookie. That's right. And Emma. You guys were doing some type of dance. It looked like you were doing the, here comes the boom Costco guy dance. Mitch says something that I couldn't understand. His pants fell down. He says, my pants are going to fall down. And I really know. I'm like, what? And then his pants fell off of his body. He said, my pants are going to fall down and I really know where I'm like what and then his pants fell off of his body. He said my pants are going to fall down and didn't touch him.

He just let him go down. No, I mean, it was the funniest video I've ever seen in my whole fucking life. But he didn't like it was funny because it wasn't like a big afterwards, like, well, it just kind of cut off, right? Well, it was also funny that he was so loyal to the choreography that he didn't just stop and hold his pants up. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he so loyal to the choreography that he didn't just stop and hold his pants up. He was like, my pants are gonna fall down and we're like, what?

And then all the way down too. Like he barely caught him. Yeah, down to the ankles. I had just seen like a compilation of guys at weddings just like their pants falling off. Oh, it's the best. It's like, oh, this is so perfectly timed. The algorithm got me. Maybe it was him that I saw. Maybe I was like, oh, this is so perfectly timed. The algorithm got me.

Maybe it was him that I saw, maybe I saw him splitting the G. But so here's the other thing, Mike, you mentioned you saw some girls doing it. This is what's great about the splitting the G thing. It's, ain't nothing but a G thing, baby. No, but on a serious note, girls are doing this. You know, like you might think of this stout chugging trend

would be male-centric. No, lots of girls on TikTok doing it and here's the latest development. I was Googling it. There is a website called Splitting the G that then released an app where it rates you on how well you split the G. like it takes a picture of your pine glass.

Yeah. I mean, I thought it was binary, like you split it or you didn't, but you can split it better than others. I think it's like where on the G it lands, you know? Okay. Yeah. You're trying to like get the cross of the, uh, where the little, the G comes out right in the middle.

You know what I mean? What a G looks like. Yeah, we all know a G. I'm looking at a few of them now, they're nice. I'll keep digging, I gotta find out who started this, but isn't it great for just like an old brand been around 300 years and then, and like I would have guessed that Guinness sales

were on the wane. Nope, Guinness is peaking right now. Way up. Because young girls are splitting the G. Here's why that works. Every other chuggable sort of St. Pat's thing, your Guinness bombs and stuff, is about getting too much volume down.

Yeah. This is just like, it's a strategy thing, and it's just a big sip. It's welcoming. Anybody can split the G. It's also like, it's cool cause you get, you get one shot. Yeah, you get one shot every Guinness. Yeah. You only got one shot.

Damn, I wish I had split the G. I'm going to split the G next time I go out. Michael. What? I can. Why not? All I got to do is order a Guinness. I'm going to say, Hey, put it in, you better put it. Hey, listen to me. You better put that in a Guinness. I'm gonna say, hey, you better put, hey, listen to me, you better put that in the Guinness cup.

Put it in the right glass. And I know a real G when I see it. Yeah, I don't want an under-k lowercase G. I don't want it to be served to me by Warren G. Do you think there's people, I knew dorky dudes in college that practiced beer pong with water, like in a weekday afternoon just because they wanted to get good at beer pong.

Do you think, or flip cup. They just want to get the form down? They want to get the form down, but do you think that there's people, not necessarily rehearsing, practicing this with water or anything, but I mean like, I bet there are people that go to the bar, order a Guinness, they do this sip, they're wrong, they're mad, and then they don't finish the beer.

And they're like, I don't want to. Or I bet some rich trust fund kid in New York City is like, give me another one. No, I want to do another one. I'm not going to drink the rest. There's probably leftover G's all over town. If you want a second half of a Guinness pint, Sloppy Boy's movie, we go from pub to pub

getting all the warm half pints. Unlike the weekend before St. Patrick's Day, and we get all of them for our big St. Patrick's Day party. All the rich boys are practicing, and we're picking up the scraps. Yeah, that's good. I think, Tim, I think you're right. There is a type of, as you get older

and you get out there in the world and meet people you never thought you'd meet before, you do find people who are like weirdly intense in things that you're not, and you get out there in the world and meet people you never thought you'd meet before, you do find people who are weirdly intense in things that you're not, and you're like, oh, I don't know about that. There are totally people who've tried to split the G with one to practice. There's absolutely those people.

It reminds me of a more practical world situation, where it's like, as adults, when you go on vacations with somebody, you're like, ooh, how does this person vacation? Are they a- How do they vacate? I go nuts every single day, or are they like, oh, I'll just kind of do whatever

as the day comes. Interesting, interesting. Here's one thing that I like to do on vacation, and I'll recommend this to anyone. Let's say you're going from LA to Hawaii, stay on LA time. You wake up early, right? Never adjust to the local Hawaiian time.

And I like to have two days in one day. You wake up, you eat the hotel breakfast, and you have a Mai Tai, then you go to the pool, and you have more Mai Tais, and you kind of get full. Have some lunch, go to bed. You're kind of sleepy, you start to get a little sleepy. Sleepy. Go to bed.

Have a late afternoon wake up. It's a whole new day. You do just all over. It's two days a day. That's good. Yeah, that's good. But now you don't go back to your travel agent and be like, hey, I owe you some extra money.

I actually did two days per day. You're right. I'm just like the craftsman that didn't charge Jeff for his pizza work. Everything being honest here. I actually had 12 days, no nights. How does, does that maybe even more? She's like, thank you for fessing up.

Like we here at AAA travel, we had heard about that, that you were doing double days. We looked into it and we can't do anything about that. I mean, that's a hell of a, I like the idea of like, you wake up early, you see the sunrise, and then you have sort of, you know, a half a day or three quarters of a day, take a nap. You wake up and you kick off that day with the sunset.

So the sun's always sort of, you always sort of kick off. A sun transition is the beginning of your day. It's also nice because let's say you're in Maui or something like you go to do the road to honor or drive up a volcano or whatever. That's your morning activity. You feel really accomplished. You can be back at the pool by like noon getting tanked. Yeah. Or not even accomplished recovery. Let's say you take you try to run to surfboard and you puke.

You can take a nap and then try again the next day. Later that day. Right, because it's the sun thing. The other thing that's nice is, other than when we were in Waikiki, Hawaii is sleepy at night. There's not nightlife. So just go to bed when you get tired.

You don't have to force yourself to have a red board. Honk shoo, honk shoo. It's more, it's like such a fun place and more fun in the daytime, more things to do in the day. Yeah. Have the happy hour be your night. Ah.

Happy hour is now the nightcap. Ah. So in a way, the opposite of what I was saying, but. Something. You don't want to sleep though during the spritz. You know what I'm talking about. Pshh. That 3 p.m. spritz that happens in Hawaii.

Remember like rains every day like clockwork for like 20 minutes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Now, but you said you sounded like a guy who was spraying some Angostura bottles out of one of those spray tops. Yeah. The listeners like that. Yeah. The way that your mouth looks is not the way I would expect you to make that sound. Where it never does. Jeff is very good at Jeff. You're very good at a little not impressed sound effects and things. Thanks. You're sort of a sort of the Michael Winslow. Winslow. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Not Carl Winslow. Laura Winslow. Tim, thank you for bringing that up, even though it was late. I have some confession, too, to actually this is some sloppy boys. What do we call LLC news? So I got back from the tour, the podcast tour, and I still had the sloppy boys card on my Uber. And I think I took two trips on the sloppy.

Scandal rocks the pod. Scandal rocks the pod. Scandal rocks the pod, Mike. That's two strikes. I know. The only way to get kicked out of this band is to link your credit card to your personal Uber three times. We've got two more left. But this time, because I think what I tried to do

is click onto my other one and it just kept resetting as a business. So I just got rid of the business. Well, what's that? What's that rule in law where you can't be tried for the same crime twice? Double jeopardy, double jeopardy, double indemnity, double jeopardy. Yeah. It's some, one of those. Well, you might, you might get away clean with this one. Fuck. We can't get them. We can't pin them down. I would love to slam you. Maybe if we make it a Rico thing.

You tie up that one, this one and my other Uber negligence together. All right. That's it for booze news. Oh wait, is it not? It almost is. I just want to mention some live tour dates from a booze band called the Sloppy Boys. Oh my God. Oh San Diego. Tonight, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no very cool. And then here, you're probably thinking, oh, these guys, they only just only ever play

on the West Coast. You're wrong because, oh, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, May 28th at the Press Room, Brattleboro, Vermont, May 29th at the Stone Church, Westerly, Rhode Island, May 30th at the Knickerbocker Music Center. Wow. So you're saying Dummy Boy comes home to New England?

It's the homecoming of the dork. Music Center. Wow. So you're saying Dummy Boy comes home to New England? It's the homecoming of the dork. It's homecoming of the dark. That's great. I can't wait. I cannot wait. Those are fun little towns too. I'm excited to go to those.

The bassist thinks it's great. The bassist thinks it's the greatest. Yeah, I'm really, I'm excited to go to the basis thinks it's great. The basis thinks it's the greatest Yeah, I'm really I mean, I'm excited to play those times We should do something different setlist wise I want our Vermont set to be very Vermont our New Hampshire set to be very New Hampshire, you know Yeah, we'll go we'll base it off the songs we know and have in our repertoire. That's true. Yeah Do we have any any songs like, New Hampshire, baby, don't you want to go down to town? I think so.

Go to town. I think we should. Go to Manchester town. We have a few like that, yeah. Yeah, we got a few. Yeah. It's going to be tough picking which one we want. Imagine if we had a bunch of songs like that

and we forgot to put them on the set list that night. Like, oh. Fuck, that would have been perfect. Hey, have you guys heard the water country song? No. Is that a band or a was it's a local commercial when the sun is blazing in the summer gets hot. You heard that? No, but it's like it's like a water.

It's like a local water park with a real ripper of a song. Ooh, they will put it at the end. Yeah, let's put it at the end. Yeah, sure. Sorry, folks got to listen all at the end. Yeah, let's put it at the end. Yeah, sure. Sorry folks got to listen all the way through. No skipping. Is that it for Boo's News? Wrap it up.

Have you guys been have you guys been practicing for these upcoming shows? I've been getting the old guitars and bass out and kind of running the songs. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Yeah. I mean, I've been playing major scales and minor scales, but I might throw in some different modes like Mixolydian. Great, great. Tim, I have a printout of those modes for bass.

I am all set. Love it. Wow. Rock mode. So don't print those out for me. Rock mode engaged. Rock mode. Don't print those out for me. Rock mode engaged. Rack mode engaged. Well, with booze news wrapped up in goblin mode dealt with,

we turn our attention to the drink of the day as we do every episode. Oh, yes, the drink of the day. There have been many drinks of the days. Mm hmm. Yes. Sure. Many episodes. And this one sort of almost crashed the drink of the day when we came across it. Did it not? You're right. This one kind of stole the of almost crashed the drink of the day when we came across it. Did it not? You're right. This one kind of stole the thunder of a different drink of the day.

Today's drink is entitled The Grape Ape You've Had. Grape Ape. Yes. Tell me about tell me about your experience with it. Well, we were having a live show, Real Ripper, but the drink was a dud, you see. This was it was a dud, you see. This was- It was a dud for the audience. I think they're like, oh, been there, done that. But you see, the audience pulled up the slack.

It was great. People can step in and save the show. It doesn't just have to be a host. We're all in this together, folks, they said. And for all of our shows, whether it's the band or the bodgazer, anything, all we could wish for is each night to have a unique thing. If we go off the rails in some direction, that's the best. Then it's a fun night for us. We don't want to just go up there and

do the same thing every night. But we were playing a show in St. Paul and we were doing Ham's Beer, which is the beloved St. Paul beer with a lot of history right around there. And it was, there's a lot to talk about and it was a fun show, but like our beer shows in general, like, you know, you're tasting the beer, then you're tasting the beer and there's a lot to talk about and it was a fun show. But our beer shows in general, you're tasting the beer, then you're tasting the beer and that's that and there's not much to do with it. It was a funny moment actually. I love this that you guys were doing a song together and I was like, I'm going to go watch from the crowd, which is not something I do, but maybe it was the last night of the tour and I said, this is the last time I get to see these guys, you know?

What are they even up to? You're like, what? This is what you've been doing? This shit sucks. No, I was watching and enjoying, and then some slop heads came up to me in the crowd, and they were like, hey Tim, here you go. And I was like, what?

And they're like, here. And they gave me these three drinks, right? And then I'm like, what is this? And they're like, grape ape. I gave me these three drinks. And then I'm like, what is this? And they're like, grape ape. I'm like, what? Grape ape! And then one of them is like, also, I emailed you a grape ape quiz.

It's like, what? Oh, right, right, right. Or the ape quiz. I was like, this was too much. These Twin Cities boys, they're hitting me with a lot. I was like, thank you, thanks for these drinks. But I didn't really know what it was. It had three, it was three plastic cups

with three straws in each, mildly, mildly purple. Yes, yes. And purple enough, just purple enough. Not quite as purple as your lavender haze lemonade. Yeah. Due to the Empress brand gin. Yes, the Empress 1908. So I brought these grape apes on stage.

They explained to us, we were like, what's grape ape? And they're like, it's grape vodka and Sprite, which is soon to be discussed. And I was like, really? Like what type of grape vodka, like stony grape or whatever. And then there was like a long pause and they're like, it doesn't matter. Okay.

Shut up. So what was great about it was it's a chugger, but with the multiple straws was, it never crossed my mind that you can chug faster with straws. Cause they also, they were like, you gotta use them. It's not just decoration. You got to use all three. It wasn't really. Yeah, it was like people like this straw.

Like were you screaming about the straw? But we chugged them. They tasted like classic grape, delicious grape, candy, grape, drink, grape soda taste for your childhood. Yes. Nostalgic, fake, great, but in a good way and very cold, thin, light, refreshing, chuggable. And not that grape in the teenies that we've talked about in the little barrel juices that you get as kids.

Not a scratchy grape. Not a scratchy throat grape, which is nice. No, like, yeah, the purple grape of your youth, you know? And they really shot down our throats with the straws, and we loved them, we say, hey, this is great. So then another round came up, purple grape of your youth. where it's the type of show where we could lift 20 minutes and no one would know the difference. And we went on for a long, rambly time. We very much did in the edit. But here's the thing, folks, this episode,

we're back doing some studio episodes right now. We're taking a break from the lives, but we have, this episode eventually, we will, you'll get to hear this historic night. It'll be hitting your feet any minute. Yeah, that'll be fun. But we wanted to do this as a proper episode and dive in and inspect this recipe that we heard

because it was authentic. You could feel Twin City pride for this drink and the crowd was into it and we got excited. They gave way more of a fuck about the grape ape than they ever did hams. They did. And I think also- Yeah, hams didn't even seem like the one they liked

and it didn't generally, as average beer that they liked in general there, right? I felt like I was really excited about hams and I was excited to tell them like, hey, your favorite beer. And they didn't really seem to give a flying fuck. I think when hams, like we had the package that had like the nice like,

looks like a stream going through it, or it's a nice outdoor setting. Oh yeah, it was a retro pack or something. And it's, I think I love that stuff. It's like, I'm gonna have a great time with this beer, because look at the colors and the pictures. And I think if you have it all the time, it's like, yeah, whatever, I don't care about that.

Yeah, I think that that type of look, it's kind of maybe boomer stuff. Like I was excited about the memorabilia and the clocks and the jackets and all, that type of look and it's kind of maybe a boomer stuff. I was excited about the memorabilia and the clocks and the jackets and all and the songs and stuff and that might not be lighting the world on fire as much as Grape Apes, but I will say this, our current taste as drinkers,

wouldn't you say that this, we like the fancy cocktails, but we're not really ever as a podcast going too far down that hole. And then sometimes we're doing just like some TikTok trend that's kind of silly and it's just sometimes it's fun but sometimes it's too silly. But I would say we were drinking these they were like this is the perfect amount of the taste was like 90s kid nostalgia which was the right type of taste for us. And the gimmick of the three straws gave it a wow experience.

Wow, yeah. That's the only way to have one of those wow experiences. Yeah, that's kind of the only way to have that. I can't think of any others. Although I did watch a movie one time that said otherwise. A movie like a feature film in a theater? Where was this? Well brown bunny

Okay Okay, so I It always reminded me of my beloved Alpine crush how there's you know, there's you haven't you're like whoa I just went through something I went through I I'm reborn Yeah, right like there's sort of me before I went through, I'm reborn. Yeah, right. Like there's sort of me before I had the Alpine crush and me after I had the Alpine crush. It's sort of an ego death type of a moment.

Hold on, I just looked up Brown Bunny. This is that movie with Vincent Gallo and Chloe 78 where from like 2000 was his four where she. There's a real fallatio. It ruined his career. I've never seen it, but I remember the, yeah. They have like an explicit sexy. Yeah, and it's like a real fallatio. It ruined his career. I've never seen it, but I remember the there. Yeah, they have like an explicit sexy. Yeah. And it's like a real.

Yeah. OK. I saw an interview with him where he was like, he's like, you think I'm happy about this? I put years into this movie. Everybody hated it. It ruined my life. It ruined my career. Like people are still mad at him for it. And he's like, you win. I lose like I'm a loser.

OK. But listen to this. So I looked into the history of this drink and it's also fun because I didn't really get the reference. Grapeape is a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. I didn't think of it in the moment. Do you guys know that cartoon character? Yes. He just kind of says Grapeape.

He says Grapeape. It's sort of Groot-ish. That's his only thing? He only says his name. Can I admit to you guys that I thought Hanna- Barbera was one lady but it's two guys? Joseph and William? Yeah, it's hyphenated. I thought this lady Hanna was cranking them out.

Yo, this lady's hilarious. Hanna Barbera's got a kooky brains going on up there. So I was very happy to see that this is a local thing with a lot of pride and there's a good article. I mean, people talking about this on Reddit and all over the place and there's a lot of Twin City Pride for it, but I saw a good article in The Takeout and listen to this headline.

"'Hail to the Grape Ape, the Unsung Legend of Minneapolis.'" And then right below it, sub headline, "'This bartender's specialty is as purple as Prince himself. Oh, that's why, yeah, Prince, I forgot. Because he's from Minneapolis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, the Loon Cafe in Minneapolis is a bar for twins fans and college kids.

It opened in 1982, and it quickly became a post game hang for umpires. All the umpires. All from across the world. How many do you need? How many could you possibly get together? I've seen some, well, you know, like there's doing a SantaCon, now they have umpire con.

Okay, I take it back. But this is a place where they had like snacks and chili and kind of seems to dive barry vibes. But then cut to 1995, Absolute Citroen has just come out. This is a very 90s moment because Absolute Citroen becomes, you guys said Citron or Citrone?

Citrone, but I don't know if it's right. I'm gonna say Citrone. Like Patron. Nice. But you know, this was a 90s release from Absolute that then made its way into the Cosmo and the Lemon Drop. It's kind of the only one worth a damn. Like there's all these weird ones,

but like nobody, you don't see people run out of like absolute papar. For sure. Maybe absolute vanilla if you're making a porn star. Maybe vanilla, maybe vanilla. Now I tend to think it's unnecessary because you could always put a squeeze of lemon in every vodka you ever drink in your whole life.

But anyway, it was the hot shit at the moment and a lot of bartenders across America had it and had to figure out things to do with it. So one day two bartenders at Loon's were trying to come up with a recipe to use their Citrone and they combined equal parts Citrone, Sour Mix and Minnesota's own Buddy's Grape Soda. You've had?

No, apparently not, because I guess it wasn't in the one we had. No. Oh, it wasn't Buddy's? I think we had grape vodka and spray. UV brand grape vodka maybe, perhaps. Or grape pucker. But essentially bubbles, citrus, and grape flavor,

however you get them together. There's a lot of different ways to do it, except some people are using grape pucker, some people are using grape juice, but originally, the Loons thing is equal parts. And Buddy's grape soda was like, that's also, it was new in the 90s to have these like nostalgic old timey sodas

in glass bottles, and I think that Buddy's was kind of fairly new at that moment too. In the 90s, huh? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that like, they were styled on sodas from the 40s, but there was like a little bit of a boom

in that type of thing. Like Stewart's and Jones. Exactly. So these two bartenders at Loon's in Minneapolis, they come up with this recipe and they put two straws in them and they suck them down really fast and they get all hammered.

And then the boss is like, what the hell's going on? And they're like, we invented the great bait, man. And then we named it after the cartoon character. And the boss sent them home because they were drunk, but then he was also like, pretty good drink. You know, we should maybe sell this at the bar. And so they started serving them at the bar. In fact, they gave them away by the hundreds at first,

trying to get people onto it, having drink specials where you could like, you know, taste it or whatever. And it caught on. And so it became a big thing at Loon's and then it spreads all across the Twin Cities. Different bars have their different recipes. Here's what's fun about it. So it became a big thing at Loonz and then it spreads all across the Twin Cities. Different bars have their different recipes. Here's what's fun about it.

It's a party. It fits in with party shots, like stunt shots type of stuff, but it's not a shot. It's a fast sipper. And it has become really popular with sports fans and athletes partying post-game and off-duty bartenders in the Twin Cities. That's kind of like the cool thing to order a different bartender. It's the Furnet of the Midwest.

The grape ape. Ooh, the Furnet of the Midwest. I like the sound of that tea. Couple good anecdotes though. It's tied to sports. Like you have Minnesota Timber Wolf star Kevin Love said that they were his favorite. And one time he, Minnesota Wild Forward Cal Cutterbuck.

Cal Cutterbuck, yeah. Kale? He was a big musta, Clutterbuck is his last name, but he had a big mustache too, I believe. Clutterbuck. Kind of a bruiser, Clutterbuck. Those two and Minnesota-born comedian Nick Swartzen. a bruiser, Clutterbuck.

young players went there and they ordered 1500 grape apes for like a party they were having. So it's, it's tied to a Minnesota sports. It does have a sport drink esque flavor. It's like purple Gatorade. Yeah. Cause it's like, I, when I say that it's cold and thin and chuggable, that's what I, I guess like I'm describing a Gatorade. It's not a heavy feeling. It's right. This soda like I as I was looking for my grapes.

So today, Jeff, I was like passing the Gatorade purple area. Right. And I was like, Oh, that would be good in this, too. I ended up getting the soda because I want to do the drink. Right. But I was like, a soda is so thick in like a syrup. Yes. Gatorade is light. This is going to be interesting. It's funny. The fall off in the grape representation in like a syrup. For the Gatorade is light. This is gonna be interesting. It's funny the fall off in the grape representation

in like the drink aisles. Like I was seeing a lot of the futurey drinks, like a lot of zero sugar drinks are grape. A lot of the, you know, your energy drink, prime Celsius, you can maybe find a grape. But I had a hell of a time finding what I thought would be an easy grape soda, like an old Welch's. Yeah, I crazy tough. There was there was only two types and they were only in where I was and they

were only in big two liters like no other size. What were they? What were they? It was crush and the one I got which is it's in the other room and I forget words squirt maybe would it be a squirt grape? Oh, maybe. Maybe I was for a crush or Welch's or whatever Me and Jeff had similar luck. I went to Albertsons and I could only find fancy ass prebiotic probiotic low sugar sodas one was poppy and the other one It said slice and I was like, oh slice Rebranded slice as like it was like 25 calories slice with five grams of sugar and prebiotics in it

So it says the healthy soda on it now and the old flavors are back It looks just like slice that you remember, but now it's prebiotic post biotic It's got antibiotics in it What is that pre and post biotic stuff? I never know what that is what I and when people say go Oh, yeah, I think it's just it's penicillin in your soda. It's good for gut health, Mike. Oh, God. So it's-

And I've been watching a lot of Gutfeld on Fox. Yeah, perfect. Gut health with Gutfeld. So yeah, the Loon's Cafe recipe is equal parts, ounce and a half of each. And then some people say like, yeah, you just pour them in there, don't mix it even so that you have this layering thing

that happens. And then the official recipe was two straws. At our show, they gave it to us with three straws. Yeah, I'm going three straws, but I will do the Loon Cafe classic. I'm going to do the Loon Cafe classic. I'm going to do two straws first round, and then maybe if we do another one, I'll have three.

But. Oh, you want to goose it up as you go? Exactly. Now, Mike, the Loon Cafe, they originally used Absolute Citron. Then they switched to UV Vodka, which is a local brand. And then now they do three olives brand citrus vodka. What type of vodka do you have?

I have Kettle One still. I'm going to still be working on that. Lemon? No, I'm going to have to add some lemon to it. You got a little squeeze, that's fine. I'm doing a little squeeze. I did see Kettle One serves a, there's a bottle of lemon Kettle One I saw at Albertsons.

I didn't want to go out and buy a new vodka. No. I've got so much vodkas at my house. Especially vodka. Actually, you know what? I may still have some Citron in there way in the back. I'm a check. See what you got. From the Cosmo episode.

I'm going to give it a look. I'll give it a look from the depths of the fridge. Trying to find the fucking recipe. I don't need to be telling you guys about that. Equal parts, Mike. I know. OK, folks, we're going to go make these great babies. And when we come back, first sips. Hopefully, hopefully Milin does like the grape ape

as the drop, you know, after the. Oh, and I'm wrong. He does talk, but his catchphrase is grape ape, grape ape. Grape ape, grape ape. I don't know anything about grape ape. Bye folks. Bye. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants

this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. I'm back. Grape apes in hand. It's layered purple up top for me. I stirred.

I had to. That's a lot. Yeah. And as I put my my straws in, it all got three. Mike soda looks good. Oh, it was Sunkist was the brand. Yeah, that's good shit. It's a nice deep purple.

That's probably a nice sugar one too. Like we have like a healthy slice or I use slice. What'd you do Tim? I tasted poppy and slice and slice had more of the flavor. I was looking for poppy, had that fakey, it was more prebiotic than anything else. But I also forgot to mention the glass. They make them in a low ball glass

and it's kind of small and you're chuggable. I feel like when we had this given to us at that show, it was in like a plastic cup that you would get beer in kind of big. It was like a 12 ounce. Yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of chugging to be done, but it's only four and a half ounces, so it should be chuggable. Also carbonated.

Wouldn't you want like a Collins glass? Oh, yeah. Well, here's the thing, though, Jeff. You're not hanging out with it too long. You're you're chugging. Right. All right. Sure. Cool. First glugs. First, I'm going to go all the way down you all the way down. OK, yes.

So that's a viral clip for the Internet. OK, great. Ready? Great. Great. Great. Great. Oh, super so yeah. Super so cool. I've never seen that much that quick of a redistribution of liquid since the super soaker. Every district, this was a shutdown. Holy shit, that's good.

That I've that three straw trick gone. The liquid is gone. It's sort of the Adidas drink, you know, with that three straw look. I did two straws and three is way better. Three is the way to go. But still, this was noticeable. I got to say, my my fake grape soda really didn't come through as much as I wanted to. Mike, did yours taste like the ones we had in Minnesota?

Yeah, it was. You're a lucky guy. I made my own sour mix. It's like his wedding day. Like you're a lucky guy. Couldn't happen to a better guy. It was, I made my own sour mix. I forget the dimensions but it was like lemon, lime and simple shiples. Yeah, perfect. And I must have gotten, this is very good. It's that grape, I'm so in a great flavored stuff these days. I don't know what's going on Michael It's interesting cuz we know I've been hooked on jalapeno flavor things. So something sometimes your body Needs certain nutrients and tells you to eat something. I don't know how many nutrients I'm getting out of this, but

Jeff is there anything you've got you've been eating? Yes. Fucking Jesus. Yes. But you know, when you like this happens to me too with like music, like I'll get on a Bob Dylan kick and then that'll fade away after a while. And same thing with like grape. I'm doing a lot of grape. Oh, I get it. I like to get in a flavor zone. I don't know. It's a nostalgic thing. Also, it's funny to me that sour mix is part of it, but then, you know, I was like, I think sour mix specifically, sweet,

and that citric acid is in a lot of stuff, even if it's not supposed to taste lemony or limey. It just like sharpens up a taste. It's like, ah, yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a citric acid, so it should be vaguely,

like you shouldn't pick out lemon or lime. It should just be like zing. But this tasted grapey. There was just as much sour mix in it as there was grape. And I think the grape was coming through. Mike, go ahead. It is nuts that this is a one to one to one drink. Equal parts.

What I might do on my next one, if we've got time for another one, is do grape vodka and then just a squeeze of lime and a squeeze of lemon and not do any of the simple syrup, because I want to I think the grape soda is sugary enough. Interesting, because I feel like mine was pretty balanced because I had that like healthy soda. I need more healthy soda. I feel like I was just tasting sour mix, quite frankly.

You know what, guys, this is an unprecedented move. Do you want to just do another one real quick? Yeah. They're so quick. Also, we should we should talk to Badger Bebs about doing a sour mix. Oh, Badger Bebs. Quite handy. Oh yes, and a grape ape mix. It's sour mix and grape soda all together.

Hey, did you ever have Canada dry grape? No, but I saw, I did see that in the store. I thought that would be nice. You did? Oh, I didn't know it was still around. I had it when I was but a boy and I loved it. Wait, but is it ginger ale grape or is it it's all grape? It's called like dry, dry grapes.

It's a Schweppes grape. Oh, yeah. Schweppes is what I mean. Schweppes dry grape. That's fucking sick. Also, it looked good when I was looking around. I found this at Crap and Cork. I went looking for grape vodka and I found absolute grapevine. Hmm. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, interesting. But it says dragon fruit. It says vodka with white grape dragon fruit and papaya flavor. And even the guy they're doing something. The guy was like, I don't know if that's going to be that grape flavor you're looking for. Yeah. That looks a little unnecessary to me. Yeah, it's nuts.

All right. Let's take a we won't even take a break. Meeland put in something and we'll be back. It's just making the break this game. This one's going so long. Yeah, make the break and we find this is the break. I mean, the fucking thing is gone forever. It's all this is a wild. This is why I want folks.

We'll be right back with more sloppy boys after this. This is a wild one. This is a wild one. Folks, we'll be right back with more Sloppy Boys after this. This is a wild one. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void of platform or game managers occur. Guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern.

Research and supplies. See full terms at canada.casino.fando.com. Please play responsibly. And we're back. Wait, I forgot my third straw. Oops. OK, we're definitely keeping that in. You know, what's funny is how fast you can make these like. Yeah, it's nice.

That was the quickest break ever. That was like a 60 second break. Well, that's what I what I like about the one to one to one ratio is. Yeah, it's so easy. There's no reset. No wonder bartenders can sling 1500 of these in a night to a yeah an athlete and his friends Also, I'm wondering like I think that the if you guys weren't if you guys weren't Like if you weren't getting enough of the grape flavor, I wonder if you just add like I did a half ounce more

Yeah, I just kind of went crazy with the with the slice this time because I wanted a nice tall glass I don't need to suck this one down. I kind of want to crazy with the slice this time because I wanted a nice tall glass. I don't need to suck this one down. I kind of want to sit with it. Okay. Are you guys, are you doing a suck down or what? I'm going to suck it down. I'll tell you why.

It's hard to stop. It's so good. Not everything needs to be all stunty and cunty all the time, by the way. Yeah, but this one, I like, I mean, when you do shots with people, there's always people that don't want to finish a shot when you chug beers. most people don't want to.

There's something about this one that it's pleasant. It's like, once you start the siphon, it's just doing its thing, you know? Yeah. I just took a little sip, and because of the three straws, your sip is so extreme that it's like already, you know, quarter of a leg gone.

Extreme sip. Oh, shit. I have a boba straw. I should try that. Just like already, you know, quarter way gone. Extreme six. Oh shit. I have a boba straw. I should try that just like a single straw, but like a heavy gauge. Dude, what about three boba straws? Oh, dude, what about four? Hey, guys, check me out. Five normal straws.

But Tim, I want to see you do that one because that's going to go down. Tim, with the Cinco. Let's watch Tim do this one. This is going to go down. Tim with the Cinco. Let's watch Tim do this one. This is going to go down. The Cinco straws, and here's what I did. Cinco. Okay, it's a grape ape, but I cut the sour mix in half and I doubled my soda so that I would get more,

even more grape taste. Yeah. And I have five straws. Maybe it's the cameras, but you guys' grape apes look really pinky. Yeah, yours looks purpley. It was I think it was our weird. Uh, must be the soda. No, no, it's not. It's not the camera. Mine's very.

It's our words. Very quick pink. All right, Tim, go ahead. I want to see this great paper way. It was too much. Why don't lined up in a line and it was too wide for my mouth. So now I'm going to clump together. It's got the widest mouth we ever saw. Wow. Look at it go. You should just tape them all together.

The siphon. I have a siphon. That's good. All right. I'll chug if you're chugging. Jesus Christ. Yeah. With with with three straws, this is like a a two or three goal with five stars. It's like a pan flute. Is that what these are called? Like those like who wears it? Who the little the little boy with like the goat legs or some pan?

I think his name is the pan flutes. His labyrinth. All right. It's his pan flute. OK, this is way too chugable. Dangerous, dangerous. Don't let this board college kids near this thing. Oh, my God. did you see that? This was back around St. Patrick's Day,

but in Boston there was like a Borg bust in the subway. But they took a bunch of Borgs from kids and there was like this little mini mountain of green Borgs all over the place on the platform. That must be kind of beautiful in a way. Like I bet they're not all green. You got pink ones, purple ones, blue ones. These actually the majority were green because it was St. Patrick's Day.

Nevermind. Yeah. It was funny to see like all those and then just to think of all the kids be like, oh man, that was our like after those our whole day. Oh, I worked hard on Steven Spielborg. It did feel like this St. Patrick's Day was like the biggest day in Borg history. I felt like I saw a lot of news stories about especially Boston PD collecting all the Borgs. Are you doing a Patreon Tim?

You talked about doing a Patreon that was on this day in Borg history. Just short little five minute. I have an idea. I won't spoil it. I have an idea for one episode. Is it St. Pat's? Yeah, St Patsy. On this day in board history, that's like the real men of genius.

Yeah, yeah. Real energy. Was that Bud Light? It was real American heroes. But all right. They change it because it was right post 9-11. 9-11. Yes. Oh, wow. That's funny or interesting.

Remember, guys, we're not just calling things interesting or weird funny anymore. This is something funny. Actually, it's not funny. Now look, when we were talking about the Grape Ape here, I was thinking in my head, I remember this line from a Shakespeare play from Hamlet. I remember, I was like, what's Mike thinking? In Hamlet, I remember there's something, a mention of the famous ape. And I looked it up.

It's from Hamlet. I think this is, let's see, act three, scene four. Hamlet says, no, in despite of sense and secrecy, unpeg the basket on the house's top, let the birds fly and like the famous ape to try conclusions in the basket creep and break your own neck down. The famous ape. So is the only famous ape I can think of is King Kong. Oh yeah. King Kong as well.

I was thinking Amy, the talking ape from Congo. Oh, yeah, what about What about curious George curious George or Dunstan when from Dunstan? 10 also I think worked at the ad Most valuable chip mr. Ed Mr. Ed, right not not a chimp per se, but less ape-like. More equine. John Haskell has worked some magic with, you know, there's like a stock footage clip of like a baboon

at a conference table with a telephone. Yeah, he's like in a red room. And there's like, there's a bunch of different clips of it. Almost similar to like, you know, the stock image of a guy who's eating a corn dog and he doesn clips of it. Almost similar to like, you know the stock image of a guy who's eating a corn dog and he doesn't like it? I don't think so. Like I used to post a lot back when Twitter was fun

and it was like, there's just this picture of a guy, he kind of almost looks like Tony Hale and he's wearing a shirt and tie and he's holding a corn dog and frowning. And then I had like seen it sort of memed a lot and then I Googled and I found like the photo shoot. There's like 30 shots from this photo shoot. Isn't that funny? Yeah. And he like, sometimes he loves the corn dog. Other times he's like doing funny things with the corn dog. Like with the amount of media and stuff that's out there, it's like, yeah,

people need pictures of a guy with a corn dog with different types of attitudes. Isn't that funny that like, see, a lot of folks, they don't troll the stock libraries the way that you and I might. We're no strangers to the stock library. So we know that like for every meme or like a guy and his girlfriend are walking down the street and the guy is looking back and the girlfriend is scowling at him. There's a whole photo set of like other outcomes with those. Yeah.

With those three actors. I've seen all sorts of that. Yeah. Like those, those three actors spent an afternoon together in every possible pairing, every possible pairing, but it's just like one was meme worthy and then occasionally occasionally you'll see somebody doing like a bent version of the meme using one of the other stock images. Okay, this is what we should do guys. We should rent a studio, hire a photographer, and the three of us for a whole day

think of every possible thing three guys can do. I can think of a couple. Every possible thing? I can think of quite a few. Drive a car? I can't think of any more. Mmm. Being a car, we wouldn't all be driving.

But then we released this photo album that everyone's like, oh my god, it's like this huge, there's thousands of pictures and it's anything that three guys could possibly do. We've done it. It's a, have you seen this folder? Oh, they're doing it all. Oh, yeah.

These three can do it all. Well, we should have a separate shooter that's this person looking at the photos and just going, oh, these. And then sometimes, yeah, he likes it. Oh, I like this. I like when they drive a car. Three of us each with our hands on the wheel. All right. Final thoughts. Who's do who wants to kick off again? Order again. And this is a fun one, too, because I think

you'd get the same results with tequila. Oh, Michael, it's a dangerous little drink here, folks. Isn't vodka? I mean, we always say that like, oh, gin's the chameleon, but vodka is the one that all the 80s dark ages cocktails Sort of lean on yeah, I think it's the one that kind of pairs best with whatever I wouldn't mind I wouldn't mind jamming three fat straws into a paloma and take them to the dome tequila and squirt You know I'm the same three fat straws. Oh, I did see there was some alts to these There's like an orange alt you could do and they had different monkey names orangutan. Oh, yeah

As much as I love this I don't think it would be ruined by like any pivot to any to know any flavor of soda like you could do this root beer It'd be fine or Strawberry basil poppy, but it's something bubbly and small that you truck that you chug with three straws like a basil poppy. But it's something bubbly and small that you chug with three straws. Yeah. The rooty ape.

My review is, I'm gonna, you're not gonna believe this, Stone Cold Classic, and here's why. Yeah. Oh, I could be with it. Because it's so fun, and it's why this podcast exists. Think how beautiful this is. We start a podcast about cocktails, then we go out, the podcast is popular enough for us to go on tour,

do live episodes, then we're out in St. Paul, and the crowd teaches us about something that they know that we don't, and it's fun, and we would have never thought to put three straws in a thing or chug that way. It's the most fun thing about drinking

is this type of shit. Mines are meshing. The student has become the master. That's right. I have the high ground now. Podcast and listener have meshed, and now they're inseparable. And like, this is not a snooty

Ooskotch or Mescal cocktail for guys with waxy mustaches, nor is it a Tik Tok-y borg that's full novelty. It's novelty that is good and I love it for the taste and all of it. This would, I'm surprised this was the first, not surprised, but this is the first version that we've had, but I'm sure people do shots of this too. That would be a nice.

I mean, we're essentially doing. Yeah, right. I'm going to do three straws in my beers from now on and just fucking suck them down a siphon, man. Siphon, bro. Was the problem because you can get drunk fairly easily. It was a problem that it wasn't getting done fast enough. Yeah. It was inefficient, like inefficient.

Yeah. Yep. I'm going to say it's an order again and again. Stone Cold Classic totally agree across the board. But I will say, folks, it doesn't have to be all stunty and cunty all the time. This is a drink that you can sit with if you want the flavor. You could just cuddle up to a grape ape all night long. Oh, Jeff. Jeff, how about this? You do something in a cocktail glass with some like premium grape spirits

and make a fancy version of it. Mike, on a recent episode of our show, maybe one of the live ones, you were wishing there was a grape drink and I made a joke, oh, you mean wine? And I got a laugh at your expense, but you were saying you liked the flavor of grape and you wanted it.

Who's laughing now? That's it, who's laughing now? Like, I guess it. Who's laughing now? That's it, who's laughing now? Like, I guess you. Jeff's too? We're all kind of laughing now. Yeah, why not? We've had two grapes, why not laugh? But here's the thing.

I can laugh the night away with two grapes apes in me. Sit by yourself, have two grapes, and just laugh the night away. We gotta do another pod tonight. You can't go to bed, Mike. You can't jump on Fortnite. Not yet. We haven't done the blowout yet. The better show.

I know we got to wrap this up. I got to get to before it. But are you going to make a great tape to sail you on through the night? Yes. Who? I don't know. I'm going to make a great big Borg. But Jeff, like God, Jeff, you've heard of the great babe, but have you heard of the ape quiz? Oh!

No, I haven't. Okay, so. What? That guy, Tom from St. Paul, he was like, you got to do my quiz. And he emailed it, he said, I emailed it to the sloppy ways podcast at gmo.com. And I was like, cool.

I think one of the guys has a live challenge or something already prepared for the show. So probably not going to do it. And he was like, cool, I think one of the guys has a live challenge or something already prepared for the show, so probably not going to do it. And he was like, you got to do it. And then we were on stage in St. Paul. I don't know if you guys remember. Who's driving the ship here, man?

Well, the rest of the night, this guy was going, do the Ape Quiz! And you guys, I remember at the end of the show, we're sitting on the couch all drunk, and you're like, what? And you were like, what's the Ape Quiz? And he goes, ask Tim. But like, he was, the, after the show too,

I was told about this Ape Quiz a lot. Okay. Well, his name is Tom. I was like, well, I don't know about the Ape Quiz. We just, we just did it. Okay. Tom. Tom from St. Paul. I checked the inbox.

We have the Ape Quiz and we're going to do it. Tom came through with the A-Q. And I got ahead of Tom, he's a good little quiz writer. This is a good quiz, are you guys ready for the ape quiz? Okay, I'm ready for it. Yeah. Excited. All right. Okay, question, this is fun

because he did it in the style of me. Okay, question one. Nah, this is the year Hollywood stopped using chimpanzees in movies. 1990, one, no, no, no, later than that. I'm going to say 1999, 2003. Way later, 2008, 2012. Way later, 2017.

A little bit later. 2020, Jeff gets it 2018. Ooh, a little bit later. Great quiz, Tom. Great quiz you got here. Okay. Wow, that's so, wait. I remember when you couldn't use dogs on stage

at UCB theater, but you can't use chimps on screen anymore. I guess not. That's why the rise of the apes was all in CGI. Well and that's why that stock footage that John Haskell uses is so expensive probably. Digital ape. Mmm. Digital ape? Okay question number two. Digital ape. Slurp. This purpley cocktail known as the grape ape was invented in Minneapolis at the Loon Bar. It is meant to be consumed quickly through this cylindrical slurper.

Three straws. Michael gets a straw. What the fuck, I said three. Yeah, actually, Tom only just says straw, but it is three straws, so Jeff, I'm gonna give it to you and not Mike. Sorry, Mike. I can't believe that.

Tom, your quiz is fucked. This quiz is so fucked. Question three, huh. How many is so fucked question three, huh? How many different species of apes are there? There's like fucking 101 way less to 35 Mike what you said, but Say it twice 22

Okay question four. Do apes have tails? No. Mike gets it, no. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Monkeys do. Come on, let's move this along. Monkeys have, let's go. Question five.

Oh my God. Question five. I forgot about Fortnite. Let's move this. Mike, you gotta enjoy the moment. I'm not enjoying this whatsoever. Whatsoever. Okay, question five to enjoy the moment. I'm not enjoying this whatsoever. Whatsoever. Okay, question five.

See my vest. This man's clothing store is also a type of ape. A bathing ape. Oh yeah, the rich ape or something. Wait, wait, wait. The rich gorilla. This man's clothing store. Pharrell?

Bathing gorilla. No, you know it. It's a men's clothing store. A bathing ape, fuck. It doesn't have ape in the title, it's a different type of primate word. Gorilla. I think men's clothing, kind of a fun vacation,

a little bit of clothing. South Pole? Tommy Bahama. Bonobos, Bonobos. Bonobos. Question six. Aw, what are baby apes called? Ape-lets. Kids.

Chimpies. Babies. Ah, babies. But Mike, you're the closest I give it to you. Kids, it was a human thing. Okay, question seven. One, two, three, et cetera. How many Planet of the Apes movies are there?

Five. No. Six. Seven. Wait, hey, hey, no. Four. Nine. Add one to that, Jeff.

10. Jeff gets it. There's a fuckload. But now, for the bonus point, name them. No. Planet of the Apes. Planet of yes. Return to the planet of the apes. No. Beneath the planet of the apes.

Yes. Rise of the planet of the apes. Yes. War of the planet of the apes. The apes go bananas inside the planet of the apes. No. The first like six have crazy names. It's all like Beneath and Beyond and... Well you got Beneath. Below.

You left out Dawn of War 4. Escape from Conquest of Battle 4 and then Planet Reboot. Jeff though you have won the ape quiz brought to us by Tom in St. Paul. Tom, you put on a hell of a quiz. I'll tell you, Tom, what I told you back then. We don't do other people's quizzes. Leave me alone.

Never speak to me again. I said it all then, and I'm saying it now. I'm kidding. I think that'll be pretty easy for you to never speak to Tom from St. Paul. I'm kidding, Tom. I'm kidding. I think that'll be pretty easy for you to never speak to Tom from St. Paul. I'm kidding, Tom. I'm just upset that I didn't win the quiz. And this, I will say, I'm going to put this action

in motion now. No more quizzes from outside sources. Tom, talk to me whenever you want. Outside sources, I agree with Mike. Keep them to yourself. It was all number guessing. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys

where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough Sloppy Boys, Number guessing. Patreon.com. You do. And it's the easiest thing in the world. You do it on a computer, it makes it easier than even if you did it, it's cheaper than if you did it on the Apple App Store. And that's how you have a better life, you laugh more, because of the Wednesday show. Folks, come see us on the road. Follow our socials, all of this stuff. San Diego tonight, Phoenix tomorrow,

then at the end of May Portsmouth New Hampshire Brattleboro Vermont westerly Rhode Island come see us supporters I'll tell you this we got some very fun stuff coming away fun guests fun guests oh yeah oh yes interesting we got some real goodies coming up for you folks damn well folks we love to see you come around we love when you tell a friend thanks Thanks for supporting the show. Thank you! Great babes to all!

Hey, bye! Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys! Hey guys, this is Mealen Patel again, official editor of the pod. I was just thinking about what we were talking about earlier with the whole harassment thing and HR stuff. And it kind of made me look back on some of my past behavior at sloppy boys LLC and

I just want to get ahead of this while I can. Yeah, I've had some times where I've told Tim to smile because he looks prettier when he smiles and yes, there's been a couple times where I've walked into the office and asked where's my hug from Mike or Jeff? And I just I understand now that that's inappropriate behavior, but I just want to get ahead of it and say, I've changed. I understand that's wrong. And I don't do stuff like that anymore. So I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. And yeah, just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks.