The Sloppy Boys - 245. Guy Tai (The Sloppy Boys Need a Hit)

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

The guys make the "Mai Tai for Guys" and think about what it means to be a man these days!GUY TAI RECIPE:1 BEER1oz/30ml LIME JUICE1oz/30ml AMARETTO1oz/30ml TRIPLE SECOptional floater DARK RUMPour ingredients into glass. Drink proudly and unashamed of your normal male urges.Recipe via The Sloppy Boys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks! Uh oh! And oh no! The Sloppy Boys are going on tour! We can't wait! We're gonna go on tour this fall! We're gonna hit so many cities! We're so pumped! I can't even wait! We? I'm with you Tim! I also can't wait! In fact, I can't wait for October 12th in Nashville, Tennessee! At City Winery? That's it! Yeah, that's City Winery! That's a podcast show, you understand? October 14th, the band's gonna be rocking Chapel Hill, North Carolina at Local 506. Oh yeah, and the very next day, October 15th in Washington, D.C., we're rocking Pearl Street Warehouse.

October 17th in Philadelphia, we're at Milk Boy. Oh, October 18th, we're doing a live podcast in Newark, New Jersey, that's a cocktail show, we're talking Victoria Theater. Well that's good, come on out and chug, chug, chug. And then, on the 19th, we're in Boston, Mass. We're at the Middle East. Ah, the famous Middle East upstairs at the Middle East.

Very nice. Then on October 22nd, we're heading south to Hamden, Connecticut. We're heading up the Space Ballroom. That's Hamden, folks. And then folks, on a serious note, October 23rd, we're gonna be in my hometown, Woodstock, New York, at Colony Rockin'.

I just can't wait. That's such a fun venue. My family's coming. Sort of a homecoming Teacat showdown. Oh, very nice. October 24th, we're in Amherst, Massachusetts at the Drake. Ooh, that's pretty good. And hey, I don't think all the fun's happening in October.

November 4th in Denver, Colorado, the Gothic Theater, folks, that's a podcast. Come out and see a live podcast. You're welcome, Denver. You've been asking for us to come to a live podcast and we're finally gonna be there. But don't think we're staying there for the rest of our lives because November 6th, we're gonna be rocking Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The Zora, darling. Oh, the band's gonna rock that place. And we should also check out Prince's House. Ooh, the Paisley House. On November 7th, we're gonna make our way over to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The X-Rayed Arcade, love that place. We're gonna rock it.

Love that place. Oh, our glorious return. And then, hey, don't forget the 8th, Chicago, Illinois, we love Chicago. We're playing Beat Kitchen. That's another two-show showdown. You come to the early show, or you come to the late show and get nasty with your boys. We played there last New Year's Eve.

That was a nice time. Yeah, and you know what's cool for Chicago? July 24, we're going to be playing at the I.O. Theater. But that's not part of this ad, because November 9, we're going to be playing at the IO theater, but that's not part of this ad because November 9th, we're gonna be rocking Indianapolis Indiana black circle brewing Wow November 11th Columbus, Ohio at the Roomba Cafe Pretty good in the next day the 12th Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

craft house Okay, and then to everyone who thought that we won't be doing a live podcast OK, and then to everyone who thought that we won't be doing a live podcast November 13th in Cincinnati, Ohio, at the Commonwealth Sanctuary. We got news for you. You're wrong. Wrong. And guess what? On November 14th, we're back at it with that rock and roll music in Detroit, Michigan, home of the car. What do we do that over at PJ's Lagerhouse?

Yeah. And November 15th, we're going to Lansing, Michigan for one last spud at Gruul Hall, Gruul Hall. Ooh, come out out to the shows, folks. This fall and winter tour is gonna be out of sight. I personally can't wait. I think it's gonna be so much fun. And I also can't wait to eventually announce a top secret New Year's Eve kind of a thing coming soon.

But I can't say. Different hat, top secret New Year's Eve kind of a thing coming soon, but I can't say it. I can't say it! Oh, just be ready for some New Year's Eve stuff. Shhh! Folks, we'll see you out there fall winter 2025. All that money you've been saving up for Christmas presents, spend on us. And come out and party with us fall winter long. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Michael Hanford.

Yo. And Tim Kalpakis. What are you, yous up? And we are the Sloppy Boys, America's favorite podcast. It's nice how that worked out. It's cool that people like us so much. And that's like fact-checked and everything? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, national. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. It's nationally fact-checked. That rocks. Oh, and what's more? Today's a national effect check. That rocks. Oh, and what's more? Today's the big day. Mm-hmm. Today's the day.

Huge. We find out if we have a hit or not. Sloppy boys need a hit? Sloppy boys need a hit. This is the epic conclusion, part five of five. I can't wait for that. So we're going to be talking about the hit, but we won't have time for it to grow as a hit.

We'll know. I have a feeling we'll know. We'll know, we'll know, we'll know damn well. Man, I feel like, so little does the foolish listener know, but we, this is our first time recording a lot because we banked some episodes, we went on tour, then we aired some fan favorite live shows from the vault. Ignorance is bliss, we, we aired some fan favorite live shows from the vault.

Ignorance is bliss folks. Ignorance is bliss. We were on tour, but we also had some family business to take care of. I had to go on, not had to, I got, I went to a vacation with my family on a cruise. So the family business you attended to was cruising on a cruise ship. Yes. We had to attend a family business. Dish, how to go. Dish. Here's how it went. It was fantastic. It was cruising on a cruise ship. Yes, we had to attend a family business. Dish, how to go? Dish, here's how it went.

It was fantastic. It was a seven day cruise. We left out of Jersey, New Jersey, went down to the Bahamas, stopped at Nassau for a day, and then Coco K for a day. Coco K. Coco K is like their beach area. It's the cruise line owns the-

Oh, that's the Bahamas beach area? Yeah, yeah. Last time I was there, that's the Bahamas beach area? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last time I was there, I was more in the office area. That's where the Bahamanians go to beach. Right, okay. It's like, it's an island that the, it's a very small island that the cruise ship owns. So it's like just beach and a water-

I was gonna say it sounds fake, Coco K, so it makes sense that, like sense that, what, a cruise line was it? Royal Caribbean. Which, which was, as far as I could tell, it was kind of like, not, it was like a lot of families and older people or like kids. You know, there wasn't, there wasn't many like, just chilled dudes like me hanging out. No party dudes?

But it wasn't royal, like the name promised like me hanging out. No party dudes. But it wasn't royal like the name promised. It was royal. I wore a little crown, which the captain tried to snag for me. He took him all week to chase me around the, all the decks, all the levels. This was a huge ship though. It was like, it was like 6,000 people.

Good God. And with 2000 more crew, it was like one of the bigger ones of their line. What are the amenities though, Mike? Wow me. I'll go from, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just. Mast. Mast and stern, port and starboard.

Port bow, there's a port bow for sure. I was on the- Oh, beautiful bow on this thing. I was on the starboard side, but we had, there was a giant slide that went down like seven stories on the back. There were those, two of those like wave surfer things where it's just like the surf, the wave doesn't move,

you just kind of stay in the middle. The wave doesn't move, you move. You move. And, well nothing really moves, just the water I guess. They had a couple of those, they had some regular water slides, they had a nice, a solarium area for the 18 pluses to get away from just the hooting,

hollering, the DJing. I was gonna ask them about the pools. When I've been on cruises, it's shoulder to shoulder in the pool and you're so like, hmm. They had four like shoulder to shoulder, but then you get to see some over the shoulder boulder holders. Jeff, watch it buddy.

That's not what this cruise was about. The hot tubs were like- This was one of those itty bitty titty. Like just folks, make sure you have your passport and cup size. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, But they also had a stage, like a Broadway level stage for a, I saw a hairspray. Oh Mike, you belong on that stage. Broadway level. It was huge. It was like a huge room with like all these cool things

going on. There was a diving show. There was no magic, which I was surprised about. There was comedians. There was comedians. Stand up? Yep, we went to the stand up show. It was very, it was interesting to see.

And, that was interesting because I went back again to it was the same two guys. And I went back again to see like how their bits changed and stuff. And it was interesting to see like, oh, he's making up some of this stuff on the spot and some of it's just like in the bag, like go to like, hey, well, how old are these guys? Young, I'm going to make fun of this guy for a while. Did they do the thing where like the later show is blue? And though they made a point, though, that there was the shows.

It wasn't every night, but the shows were like seven thirty, nine thirty and eleven thirty. And at the beginning of the shows, they would put a little announcement on. It was like, no flash photography, no, you know, don't be on your phones. And if you're easily offended, go up to the medical deck to have the stick removed from your ass. So we knew we were in good hands. We were doing really good. I've been on a cruise where the eight o'clock show

was clean and the 10 o'clock show was dirty, but it was the same guy, and that was funny. And then also, I think I've told you guys that Kyle Dunnigan was the standup on a cruise, a week-long cruise one time, and he said he did two shows a night and he was like he bombed the first show, bombed the second show, bombed the whole next day

and he's like by the third day I started to become famous on the boat for sucking. People like, because you see the comedian out by the pool and stuff so he said he got people like, hey I saw you last night, you sucked man. That's so funny, there's the comic P.U. Oh shit they had a skating rink too because I saw some of the ice sk There's the comic. Pee-yew. Oh shit, they had a skating rink too, because I saw some of the ice skaters by the pool.

They had like a ice show at some point too. Damn. Hey, zip line? But there was like music, there was a zip line, there was just like trivia all the time. There was just, it was nonstop things to do. It was really fun. Did you have that thing where your family was seated

with strangers at the table and you met people when you were eating meals? No, because we had a bunch of us who we had the same. Did you get close with your server over the course of the trip? We did, we did. Especially when he put his thumb in my lentil soup. You hate that, you hate that.

I said, buddy, we're getting a little too close here. But it's worth mentioning that we should go on one, the three of us. I didn't get the drink package, which seemed like, I was trying to crunch it up, it seemed like you had to drink like all day, every day to make the drink package work. Now can I guess that they had frozen pina coladas

and strawberry daiquiris in a machine? No, they had ice cream like that, but I actually didn't go to the bar much. I probably only drank the whole trip all week, maybe 10 drinks. What? I thought you were gonna say two drinks. 10's not so bad.

No, 10. A couple of dinner, a couple of here and there. Were they rum drinks? Were they darkened stormies? Were they applicable to the locale? You could get that, but here's the thing. They didn't have any like, this isn't like, oh, you know, Bahamian rum or anything.

It was pretty weak drinks. It felt like an ounce instead of an ounce and a half on drinks. Ouch. And I kind of was just going to the beers because they weren't doing the drinks. Yeah, cause they can't water them down. Yeah, that sounds like airport drinks.

And do they have like president days or Bohemian or anything fun? Nope. Or maybe they did. But I was thinking the ones I knew the ship, the ship had some like different types of foods and stuff. But it wasn't like, oh, I'm going to it was a volume game. You know what I mean? It was like, yeah, if you get as much food and drink out as possible, it's going to be good. But it's not going gonna be the top tier.

I was on a family cruise one time and I wanna say it was Royal Caribbean. My dad figured out, like he finished his dinner one night and they're like, would you like another? And my dad was like, yes. And they brought him another steak. So then we figured out you could also just order two. So I was like 13, just like a chubby kid being like,

can I have two racks of lamb for dinner? And the guy, the guy wants a good tip at the end of the thing. So he's bringing me three, four dinners a night, stacking them up. Timmy, my boy. Yeah. You like tip them at the end of the whole week. My boy. You're spitting. That's great. But we should, we should go on one. Oh yeah. Well Oh, yeah. We'll talk about that. Yeah. Jeff's on board.

Was there a gym on the ship, Mike? How was the gym? Jeff, there was a gym and I went to it a couple of days. But since coming back, I've been to the gym three days in a row. Michael, very good. I'm feeling good, man. I'm feeling I lost weight on the cruise. I didn't gain weight.

That's impossible. Impossible. That seems improbable. With, you know why? Cause they also had a soft serve ice cream all over the ship and I did not partake once. Oh, that's tough. So this is cause you were trying to cut cows.

Cause I can't just be eating ice cream all day by the pool. That's kind of what those are for, Mike. I'm impressed. I know I can't. But I remember that machine being like 24 hours and you could just walk up there. You can put your mouth right under. Well, it was always manned by somebody.

So it was always. You get that thing going where you pull the arm, the ice cream's going straight into your mouth and then you wait long enough so that then now you have the shit coming out of your butt and the ice cream going in your mouth and then you wait long enough so that then now you have the shit coming out your butt and the ice cream going in your mouth and it's a straight line. That's that cruise lifestyle. Cold going in, cold coming out. So you want to know what about that or do we like that? That was my only question.

You just said you know how it is and you want to know if you knew how it is. So Mike, officially, I mean, people snark cruises. David Foster Wallace called it a supposedly fun thing, I'll never do it again. You give it the badge of approval. I do because I think if it was shorter, if it was like a five day cruise, I feel like, because the first two days felt like this thing is too big

and I got to figure out where I am and see how all this works. You know what I mean? And then like, you're cruising for a lot of days I Think five is too short seven was good. Oh nice. Yeah, I'm in I'm in All right, great. We'll figure that out and we're gonna do it to it. All right, you ready for some booze news? Yeah

Booze news hit it She'll let you take her home. Let her appetite. She'll play on a throne. She's got new classic guys. They'll take a tumble. So you do. Roll like you or dice. Until you come out.

Blue. She's got new classic guys. Betty Davis guys was sent to us by Chris Finke, AKA Stinky Finke. And if you have a booze news theme, email us at thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com. Well done, Stinky Finke. Good job. So, we're going to get started. We're going to get started.

We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started.

We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to get started. We're going to a booze news theme, email us at thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com. Well done, Stinky Finke. That always is good when somebody else finishes a line just by sampling it. I always think that's fun. I mentioned the work that went into that.

Nice job, Stinky. So that's Jeff's slogan for our show that has now stuck. So the Sloppy Boys podcast, the new classic guys. Yeah, that's that's a good one. That's good. Does anyone else call him Stinky or is it just like you said, a.k.a Stinky? Also known as because I know him as that because I say it. OK, Stinky Fink, we got gotta get you showered up this summer.

We'll get you scrubbed down. Well, it's funny because his name, F-I-N-K-E, so he always points out that it's like Finkie, it's not Fink, but that's why he's Chris Finkie, AKA Stinky Fink. Oh. He's probably a stewing man. You set yourself right up.

He just hates the show, listens every week, sends on booze news themes doing student D okay Did somebody say something about us being gone and on tour and on cruises and stuff? So then there's a lot to catch up on yeah, it was you. Oh, yeah, we're gone. That's for sure Like I had a few there's been a lot of booze news that we have to talk about but there's one thing that I wanted to get To because sisters articles as there's one thing that I wanted to get to Consist there's articles as there's internet memes, but I also witnessed something with my own eyes

I wanted to talk to you guys about that. I think is a trend but okay. So look since we've begun Yes, says have there been articles about West Village girls drinking white wine spritzers. Sure. Yeah As did former NBA player Shane Battier say that he bonded with Greg Oden over a drink invented by NFL great Marshawn Lynch and it was called Patrenacy, Patrone and Hennessey, yes. Ooh, yes, that's exciting. Did the state of Maryland finally officially name

the Orange Crush their official state cocktail? It did, it did, they did. Hey, speaking of Orange Crush, also Punch had an article about Creamsicle as a trending flavor, lots of different drinks with vanilla and orange. Ooh, I like that. Ooh, I like that.

Tim, do you ever, do you need to take a, you need to take a vacation? My guy. No, no. Even on my vacation, I'm working on, for example. That's what I was saying, that you're going to burn out. We talked about the rise of how the paper plane and the naked and famous are going from obscure hip cocktails

almost toward menu staples, cocktail crap, classic cocktail status. Your grandmother knows them now. Dudes, my whole trip, I was in New Orleans. We were in fucking Rhode Island. Everywhere I went, I'm taking pictures of menus, naked and famous on there, paper plane on there. It's, in fact, in Boston, I was walking past the tavern,

the Bell and Hand referred to itself as America's oldest tavern from the 1700s. The first drink on their menu, the Naked and Fass. Oh, wow. Very nice. But here's the thing I said I wanted to talk to you guys about. I was traveling a lot. Where has Timothy gone? We should play that song during this. We should. Because that's part of. Woke up in the morning. Player has Timothy gone.

And he's drinking out of a cup that had, did that look like Japanese writing on it? That's the Dodgers, but maybe it's a little Japanese cause of Otani. Yeah, cool. I can't believe I don't have that song. That sucks. All the files I have for this show

on my clogging up my laptop, I type in Timothy gone, no matches. Your father, fuck you, dude. This sucks. Of all the files. Here's my question for you guys. Wake up in the morning. Yeah. You walk into a bar. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Hey, Mac, what's happening? Is the usual Mike? No, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey Mac, what's happening? You're the usual Mike? No, I don't want them usual Mac. Could also be a coffee shop or a restaurant for all I care. Hey, the usual Mike. Ooh, we'll get you a flat white right away. How are you greeted?

What does the employee say to you? Oh, I thought I just did. What do you, you walk in. What's the most common greeting? You walk into a business. What do they say to you? Can I get you anything? walk in. What's the most common greeting? You walk into a business. What do they say to you? Can I get you anything?

Welcome in. Welcome in, welcome in. Jeff, did you hear me talking about this? It's a pet theory. I swear to God. No, I hear it every business I walk in. I have never, before maybe a year ago, I never heard anyone ever say welcome in.

Right, it's new. Now I walk in, nearly 100% of the places, bar dinner, welcome in, host, welcome in, server, welcome in. Now you're sure you're not going to, because you like a lot of German food, are you sure they're not saying Wilkemen? Yeah, these were all German places, and yes, they were saying Wilkemen.

Yeah, there it is. Now I Googled it and there's an article from Eater from last year. It's like, when did everyone start saying welcome in? No one can find the origin, but it is now being included in corporate training for some chains, upscale restaurants and stuff. I went to Phil's Coffee, the new one in Los Feliz. They said, welcome in.

Oh, brand new. Welcome in. There's a theory that it's this renewed interest in hospitality post-pandemic to just be very hospitable, but the phrase, they say generically, it comes from the West or the South, maybe it's Texan, but now it's going worldwide. Welcome in. Weird. I haven't noticed that. I haven't noticed that.

And you just belt it out, you bark it out. You don't need to, you know, it works for one person, it works for a group, any gender, any age. Oh, it doesn't work for male. No. It doesn't work for me. I don't, people have been saying it to me and I don't respond.

Yeah, I heard that. They're like, welcome in. That doesn't work for me. No. Well, have you noticed also the, this is a couple of years now, but I appreciate that over, I appreciate, or I years now, but I appreciate that over I appreciate, or I appreciate you over I appreciate that.

I've noticed this. I appreciate you. Appreciate you. That definitely makes you feel nicer. Like, yeah, you appreciate me. That's nice. But I haven't said to you, cause I say, oh, appreciate that

because I'm just so used to saying that, but I appreciate you. Appreciate you. I mean, it gives me that. Because I'm just so used to saying that, but I appreciate you. Appreciate you. I mean, it gives me pause because I think it's like, I appreciate that means the thing that we just did, but appreciate you is like, hinting at a greater relationship. Like they know me and I'm gonna be there for them

in time of need. That's nice, that's nice. And Tim, you don't like to open up in that way. Not in that way. Not in that type of way. This in that way. No, not in that way. No. This is funny. I was just watching a commercial was on TV and it was for something, some type of like,

let's say medicine or a life insurance or something like that. And Morgan Freeman was the voice of it. And at the end, he said something like, you know, so it's time to start. You start get busy living. And it was like, well, you do your own life. You can Shawshank like it just to have a little because it's like the line is get busy, live or get busy dying. I forgot about that.

I thought that the first thing that came to mind for me was Matthew McConaughey's Just Keep Living. The phrase that he has trademarked, just J.K.L. Just Keep Living. I know. It's funny because it hasn't caught on. Nobody cares. Everyone sees him like, all right, all right, all right. I never heard anyone say that.

Yeah, you don't care. I care. I don't know. It's just funny. It is like, I don't know, the tail eating itself. Like now we got that was a nice moment or a very nice moment, a good movie. And now it's just what he says at the end of his commercial. Yeah. Wow. Makes you think makes you think makes you think because we're not going to live forever.

I want to live forever with you, baby. What else we got in Booze News? July 24th, Thursday, we're playing I.O. Fest in Chicago. Come on out, folks. Ooh, Mike, you got anything? Oh, I got something today. June 27th, be in Memphis, Tennessee. I'm going to be a growler's be growlers. And then tomorrow night, Saturday, June 28th, I'm in Pittsburgh, PA at the, at Bottle Rocket.

So come out to those. And I'm also going to be in Westerly, Rhode Island, Toronto, Nashville, Dayton, Kentucky, Bethlehem, PA. Check my link tree out there all up there, folks. Very nice. Yes. That's it for Boo's News. Wrap it up.

["Warnin' Overtime"] He didn't give me warning. Oh, where has Timothy gone? Oh, and folks. If you don't know, after business is when we stop being polite and start getting real. Oh, Jeff, that's good. Yeah. This is when we we turn our attention to the drink of the day.

But today is an interesting one because of wrapping up the the long sprawling saga that is the sloppy boys need a hit. The long awaited. We try and come up with something that takes the country by storm. Mm hmm. Now, what do we have so far in the in the sloppy boys need a hit? We've got the five cups.

Well, I'll do them in order. Ready? I think I think this is your the Gator bite. Oh, yes. Carmen Miranda. Ooh, AKA. What was the other name for that fruit of the loom or something? The loom, the loom, the loom, grape gorilla, AKA Grape Kong. That's that was a good, you know, we're not off to a great start with

branding as far as some of these drinks having to name. Oh, no, the five. Mm hmm. And today's drink, Tim. The drink of the day is the guy tie, AKA the my tie for guys you've had. No, I never had never had the guy. You heard guy time. No, never had. Never had the guy. Have you heard guy time? No, not heard. Not so much.

But you're, you swear this is going to be the drink of the summer. Yes. Um, but one little misnomer here. I'm bringing this to the podcast. I didn't, uh, I'm bringing it to your, uh, I'm signal boosting it. I didn't actually invent this. Um, but I found it. You didn't. I found it and I'm bringing it in.

Because Mike, if you remember, he didn't invent the five cups either. That's right. That was sort of gifted to you by the elders. I forget how that happened. There was a parable and I learned about it That's right. in the anthology of world folklore.

Right, you were at the library. At the library. The library. Right. So the gai tai, basically this is a beer with a splash of lime, amaretto, and triple sec. And you know, guys like beer, so it's the male version of the mai tai. But now before we continue, Tim,

this is going to be one of those episodes that's like, oh, oh, oh, where are the guys? Hey, my beer, hey, my beer buds. I got to get down to the man cave for a guy tie with my beer buds is that this type of thing actually Mikey yes okay good good good to know well so here's the thing you should know about the guy tie I mean it sounds good right the I haven't I haven't had one but it's it a Mai Tai that's made into a beer basically. But I guess apparently because of its male. Beer that's made into a Mai Tai basically, yeah.

Yeah, but because of it's a guys version of Mai Tai, it's sort of basically like a Manosphere kind of a drink. Which is gross. Big pot, Manosphere is popular these days, Tim. It's good to sell to the Manosphere kind of a drink. It's very big. It's just gross. Big pot. Manosphere is popular these days, Tim. It's good to good to sell to the man. Well, and I got to say selfishly and Meelen, you can cut this if you want. But if we're going to have the drink, like if you're going to have a hit, you got to

kind of play to both sides. Sure. Hey, hey, Republicans buy podcasts too. The only color I see is green. This is like Bernie and Mayor Pete each going on the Andrew Schultz podcast. I mean, I'll say this. Look, I can only speak for myself personally. I'm a liberal.

I'm a feminist, but us Democrats, we can't afford to keep ignoring this giant section of the population that makes up the Manosphere and keep losing elections. So we should be listening and be tapped into what's happening in our own country because we can't just block it out anymore. I agree. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy tied during camping

don't really know what it is yet or have never had will be the drink that you're handed everyone gratis for free walking into the DNC convention. It's going to go that far. It's going to be that far. It's going to be that welcoming in the democratic world. If this drink is going to become the DNC's official drink, the DNC, it's got a long way to go.

I'll just say that because as of now, I went, you know, we talked about doing this on the show, so I did a little Googling. to become the official drink of the DNC. It's got a long way to go, I'll just say that. We talked about doing this on the show, so I did a little Googling. I put together a little compilation of clips, kind of Manosphere clips, so you guys can get a sense of what's been going on with this drink on the internet recently. Wait, Tim, you Googled? Yahoo! Bing. Bing, that gives me an idea. I'll ask you. Okay, now that all the jokes are out of our system, let's go ahead and play the compilation

of Manosphere guy tie clips. Hit it, Jeff. ["The Manosphere Guy Tie Clips"] All right, Frankie. Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy, Drink Review. We're doing the guy tie. One sip, everybody knows the rules. Here we go.

Oh, that is an eight-one,1 Frankie and that is a monster score I almost give it a 7-9 which is a very bad score but 8-1 is a monster score Frankie is he sick I wonder? I'm Andrew Schultz I got my hair all shaved up all high on the sides and I love the guy tie. Ha ha ha ha! I'm Jeff Ross coming to the daisies Mark Normand and Sam Morrill. I'm gonna put this guy tie in my mouth. Yeah, he's gonna put this guy tie in his mouth.

Hey man, I'm D'Ovon. I'm here with Donald Trump. Baron and I love to drink the Guy Tire. Previously on Tires. You can't drink that here. So, I mean look guys. It's everywhere. Comedy's subjective, comedy people, you like what you like. Uh huh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of people were probably laughing their ass off at their favorite comedians just now, and we welcomed them to the pod, yeah. Yeah, I didn yeah. So a lot of people were probably laughing their ass off at their favorite comedians just now. And we welcomed them to the pod, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know this could. One of the comedians, I think Andrew Schultz sounded like he was underwater. Yeah, at the end there he was like.

Brrrr. Yeah, he was getting washed away. Maybe he was doing a cruise ship show. Like I was just talking. I didn't know who he was for a second, but then when he mentioned how he had his hair all shaved up high on the sides, I was like, right, I know that guy, yeah.

That's him. That's how I knew him too, yeah, yeah. And the last people were tires. Who's in tires? Who is that supposed to be in tires? Shane Gillis' friend and Shane Gillis. Sorry, who was that in tires? I got you, got you, got you.

The main guy in tires just sort of worried a lot of the time, and then Shane is kind of laid back. I've never seen tires. I gotta check it out. I haven't lived. I've never seen tires. I get checking out. I haven't lived. I haven't lived yet. Mike, it feels like this guy tie could be your entree

into like a whole new level of masculinity for you. I wouldn't mind drinking one with my entree. Now, can you drink the guy tie if you're three low tea dudes? Maybe this is what gets the tea going. You know, maybe this is- How the hell are is low T. This guy's name is T for trying out lab. T cat. That's true. Cat. The cat man. I'm actually I don't know if I mentioned I actually am certified. I had blood work

done recently. My T has gone up. It's supposed to peak at 30 and then go down 1% every year. My blood work done four years ago and then I just had it done again. And it went from average to slightly above average. I don't know what's going on. There you go. It's probably from drinking all that M drive. It could be from all these guy ties I'm about to drink.

M drive, get yourself a guy tie and tea up. No, no, I think to me, yeah, it's from all the guy ties he's about to drink. Oh, so your body's getting ready for the guy type. Mike, we got to measure our tea. I want to do that. I like to have a tea competition on the pot. I would do that.

So what do we have to go to the your primary care physician? Mm hmm. Say, look, Doc, I have a podcast. How many teas do I have? How many teas do I have? And don't charge me. I'll cut you in on the deal. Give you a guy tie. So are you guys plugged into this scene? Do you guys listen to Rogan? Do you do UFC?

Are you Elon fans? What's your level? No, I don't. But I can't afford to not be plugged in. Right. Right. You've got to be plugged in with the guy tie. None of us can afford it anymore.

Exactly. Great. Well, us can afford it anymore. Exactly. You can't. Great. Well, I have a recipe here. I looked into it. It seemed like maybe this drink originally was invented by the show Mansers on the Spike channel. Oh, yes, yes, yes. But then it blew up more recently.

It was on apps like Parlor and Truth Social. It's been getting big. So the recipe that I found. It's funny that these things can get so big and not even be on your radar at all. I know. Like sometimes, you know, to depoliticize it, it's funny when like the new celebrities on the block

and they have like 5 million subscribers and it's like, oh, they're a Disney kid or like they're a Nickelodeon kid because they blew up somewhere I don't watch. Or they had like this guy Tie tie-in sponsorship. It's like, now this is the biggest Guy Tie guy. Right, it's like the first time you hear of Guy Tie, it's, oh, it's the biggest drink in the universe.

Oh, whoa, geez, I should be listening to this. Yeah, well, I always felt like that way with rappers too, if for the first time I was hearing a rapper and they're like, oh, guess who's back again? I was like, wow, this is the first time I'm hearing you. Where have you been? Rappers should be more aware of that. Not all of us know you're coming back,

so just introduce yourself for the first time each track. This is the first time for me. That's very good advice. I mean, it's kind of like when you go to a party and you don't know if you've met somebody before or you just say, nice to see you. Yeah. That's a good. Nice to see you. I'm back again. Gone for a minute. Now I'm back again.

I was in the bathroom. No, I'm back again. I said, Jeff, I give a warm welcome to someone I didn't know. A recent we were at Dean's Bar and Thrill in Rancho Cucamonga this week. Yeah. And a guy he was like like, hey Tim from the Birthday Boys. And I thought he had worked on the show, so I gave him a really warm hello. And then Mitch also gave him a really warm hello. And then we were like, we don't know that guy.

What's a warm hello? Like the two handed handshake where you get both of them, yes, hello. He was like, come in and know me better, man. I gave him a bear hug and then I started taking off of his clothes and trying to get skin contact with him. He's just shaking his shoulders, look at you, look at you, you've grown up to be quite a man.

And you look at me. Yeah, you know that type of thing? Yeah, that's a nice warm welcome. Okay, so the original recipe off of Mancers that I got here was one beer Splash of Lime splash of Amaretto splash a triple sec about a half ounce each you could go a little more on the Amaretto And yeah, I guess apparently drink it proudly and you know while you're drinking You're not supposed don't be ashamed that you're a man and you have normal, healthy male urges.

Oh, that's part of it? Yeah. I mean, Mansors was an old show. That's kind of an outdated vibe. I think I saw that the other day, though, in Oh, you saw it? Not Maximum, oh, Stuff for Men. You know that magazine, Stuff.

They brought it back. Well, Stuff was UK-based, I felt like. Or maybe just, I remember seeing Jerry Hollowell dressed in a Union Jack dress. And I said, oh, that must be the, dress is liberal for what I'm talking about. This thing was, this was a cocktail napkin. Mike.

Who was that guy that would chug the beers on Man Show? Oh. He had a name, didn't he? I forget. Ziggy Zoggy guy. Ziggy Zoggy. Red Fox? Red Fox? It wasn't Red Fox, but maybe his name was Red.

Mansha Chug Guy. There's rumors that he sometimes, he said they were beers, but there were rumors that sometimes those were guy ties in the mugs. Really? Oh, the Fox. Really the Fox bill the Fox Foster is of all the Fox Do we Do we how do we make this we put this did you say how to make it? He told you from Mansers one beer splash of lime splash of amaryl splash of triple sex

So you can either built in the I built it into a pint glass Some people if they want to take it on the go, Popo, no, no style, they do it into the bottle. It's good with a light beer. You know, you could use a, I think I'm using the champagne of beers, Miller Highlife, but, I'm doing the same.

Yeah, I'm going to do it in a pint glass, but folks, if you want to, you can do it, build it in the bottle. Now I built, I bought a 24 ounce. Should I, yeah, just crack that to, you can do it. It's really the almond from the Orgeat coming together with the Curacao orange taste to make a Mai Tai taste. So we're supposed to get those from the... I'm using Di Serono Amaretto.

How about you guys? Yeah, same, same. The triple sec should combine with the Di Serono to make a Mai Tai for guys. For guys for once. Yeah. No, this is good. What about the ice situation, Tim? No.

No? No ice. Okay. So this beer's got to be cold. So beer, DeSarono, Triple Sec Lime. I guess we're not reaching for the Badger this week. Oh, no, too bad. But it's OK to to pop a badger ginger ale later on night. If you just want a little ginger ale taste when you reach for the Badger,

he hisses and you get bit when you don't reach for the Badger, he hisses and you get bit. When you don't reach for the badger, he's sad. He's sad. You go past him on your shelf, he reaches for something else and you just hear, eee. What was that? Uh-uh, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Oh, come on, badger. Come on, badger beves. Okay. Okay. If I roll over, will you scratch my tummy? Sure. But then I got to go drink this drink. All right. All right, folks, we're going to go make these

dude drinks. And when we come back, we're going to have the first sips of this Manosphere Marvel. Ooh, love it. You got me, you got me, you got me, you got me, you got me. Right where you are. And we're back talking guy ties, the my tie for guys. Oh yeah. And it's about time, huh? That we have one.

Let's take a drink, cause mine feels like it's getting warm as we speak. Oh, that's no good. No, that's no good. Here we go. Sips. Okay. No, that's no good. Here we go. Sips. OK. Hmm. Interesting, interesting.

OK, I just put in a splash, a spurt of each of each of the three. I did a half ounce. I measured on the flip side of the jig. I pictured a thick rope of, well, anyway, for each of the three added ingredients. Jeff, it's a guise. You're allowed to say what you want. Don't worry about being judged and don't be ashamed.

Thick rope? I've only ever heard Jeff talk about thick rope. Material! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So wait, what did you think it was? What I just pictured, um, a spurt of each, lime juice, de Serrano and triple sec.

Also surprising that a man is few drink like all these guys, guys have amaretto, uh, amaretto liqueur hanging out around the man cave. Huh? Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Amaretto and triple Sec are kind of used to sweeten up the drink. I mean, you can see Triple Sec is a very popular thing it's in margaritas. Yeah, that's true, that's true.

You need that. Nothing wrong with having some margaritas with your boys after work on a Friday, huh? No, no, nothing at all. Now, I wish I had done, no, I don't want to talk about what I wish I did yet. You could talk about what you wish you did. Hold on.

Mike, you're supposed to feel empowered now. Don't become wishy washy when you drink a guy tie. Make a choice, lead like a man. Ooh, I'll do that. Then I'll do that right now, sir. It's just calling me, sir. Sir. I would the other day, I said to my I found my I had a big bottle

of Amaretto, the de-storero, I said, I want to make one of those drinks. I like so much the French connection. And then I think the next day I made a Godfather. Yeah. Very simple drinks, Eagle parts. And I was having it, I said, you know what? I think I should do less DeSarono next time. I wasn't as thrilled by the sweetness

because I liked DeSarono a lot, but I just wasn't, it was too sweet of a drink. Well, one of them is a brandy and one of them is rye whiskey, right? Right. I forget which is which, but those are both. Me too. Those were revelations on the pod for me.

They were revelations because that di serona was so nice, but I think it was too sweet of a drink if you want to be a guy's guy. I think Godfather was scotch and then French Connection was cognac. And I think that when you do the cognac one, you're kind of telling yourself you're on board for some. Yes, so I was wrong on both

Cognac is a brandy I'd say right? Yeah, what did you brandy'd cognac? Okay? Yeah, I mean cognac from France I guess I mean brandy from France is cognac remember one time at the well in Hollywood. I said Instead of just saying a French connection I said can I got a a cognac and amaretto on the rocks? And he brought me two different drinks, a cognac on the rocks and an amaretto on the rocks. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny. Did you mix them or did you say like, I got it?

I took the guy out back and I beat the shit out of him, quite frankly. I said, buddy, people's elbow to the dome, suplex, pile driver. Sorry, this guy's gotten into me. I was at a bar recently. I'll say, hey, can I give you a cognac and my phone back? I had it plugged in.

That's a very popular order. Yeah, give me my cognac and my phone back. Yeah. Yeah. There's no reason to say any of this. He didn't take it from you, he was charging it for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he didn't take it. Nobody takes my phone.

I've heard lots of people saying that's kind of the drink order of the summer. Can I get a cognac in my phone bag? Can I get a cognac? Did you say you want your phone back? No, my phone's right here. I charged it properly at home. I've heard a lot of guys are arriving at bars

purposely with their phones dead, so they can plug them in. It's sort of a power move to get under the skin of the bartender, you know? Yeah. Did anyone text me? Did anyone text me? All night long, yelling at them.

Well, you know what a lot of guys will do. They'll know that they have a bunch of texts from a bunch of chicks, so that then when they make the bartender check their text, it's like, oh yeah, a little bit of Monica, a little bit of all these different girls who texted you. Hey, hey, text, let's just say you got the lyrics of Mambo number five racing through my head right now.

That happens a lot when I talk to my secretary. Hey, did I get any calls? Let's just say, you got Angela, Pamela, Sandra. Why don't you send me a link to Genius.com, Mambo number five, oh, okay. All right, you got me. Now, did you want your phone back? I wanted a cognac.

Now, is that Lou Baga or Lou Vega? I would never know. Mm. Baga. Hmm, of the Venga Boys? Oh, God. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. No. Mmm. Vega. Hmm. Of the Vanga boys? Oh god. Right, aren't the Vanga boys something else?

Move Vega. We dance all around. Is that the Six Flags? The old guy dancing on the Six Flags? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an odd. It was odd. That's one of those things where you're like, you know they're doing it just because it's

so strange looking. That's like, ooh, I can. That's one of those things where you're like, you know they're doing it just because it's so strange looking. That's like, ooh, I can't look away from this strange thing. Yeah. Almost as bad as the Quiznos guinea pigs. I liked them. Yeah. Quiznos isn't a thing anymore, is it? I thought Quiznos existed in some form.

Where do we go on tour? Firestone? Fire station? Fire? Firestone. Yeah. Fire-stata. It was the fire station fire. Firestone. Yeah. Fire start. It was the prodigy. Fire start.

Oh, fire start. Uh, this is a good drink. Yeah. Now, here's what I want to say about doing it differently. I want to add more of each. This is a big pint glass. I want to bring out the punch of it. You know, like all the different stuff, the punch, because I did probably about a half ounce of each.

Maybe I'll go full ounce of each ad. I might do an ounce of each, which is not so bad because it's lime is no alcohol. DeSarono and the other one don't have much. So you want more power? Oh, yeah, me doing it. Ape films. I'm definitely down for an ounce of each. It feels more manly. Yeah. And just keep the beer flowing.

Oh, I have some creatine I could put in here too. That'd be good. Oh yeah, me too. I have some M drive. I have some, I have some grizzle from a steak I ate. That'd be good. Oh, yeah, me too. I have some m-drive. I have some old I have some Grizzle from a steak. I put that in there. Oh, I was thinking instead of drinking I might pour it all over my cock and balls Yeah, that was the guy ties should be at all agree and stir with your cock and balls with your record guy

Watch an episode of Poison Ivy. Watch the Poison Ivy movie. We should do an episode of Stacks. That's what I meant to say. We should do an ad for the guy tie. That's like, this is what will happen to your body after one week of drinking the guy tie on day one. You will this on day two.

You will notice this on day four. That's so funny that that like, I started to notice the, the TikTok speak like in regular ads on TV. Doesn't that suck? You know, Jeff, we've had this conversation before, I think, and it's funny to be like, it does suck, but like,

there was commercials anyway, like it's all commercials, but I know what you mean. Yeah, but like great, the low bar is lower now. Now it's like AI slop on television. I know, I know. Just like, it just feels like the bar of everything. And you're just like, oh, commercials should be at least a little spot for some comedy,

hopefully the best you can hope for. And it just feels like the writing on the wall for TV that if the dinosaur is chasing, like, yeah, when it goes to commercial and it's vertically shot and it's using tick tock speech, it's like, Oh, well why, you can't pry kids from tick tock to television. If tick tock is emulating, if television is emulating tick tock, they were happy where they were. Leave them alone.

And also like I'm when I'm not on my phone, I don't want to hear that voice at all. I don't want to hear while I'm on my phone. I could, I want to hear that voice at all. I don't want to hear while I'm on my phone. I could, I want to hear that voice. If I'm like trying to figure out what would happen to my body if I drank guy ties every day on day seven, you will know, you will notice rock hard erections on day. Eight, you will have your gains on day nine.

Your hairline will be full, increased focused day 10. You will be funnier and have better stories at the party. Day nine, all your phone memory will be gone because of all the numbers you've received. Playboy player. Hey, player. Hey, I'm a real player. You know that.

Hey, whatever happened to the old tick tock voice? Which one was that? The lady's voice? Yeah, like the lady being like, I went to Target and I bought the new food. Yeah. I tried the new guy tie pants. Get you a man who can do both.

Oh yeah, yeah. I tried the new guy tie pants and they could not contain my bulge. You know what we should do? We should make a guy tie version of like a, uh, a, um, Cosmo. Cause bro. Cause bro. That's good. We got to extend this. We got to extend this needs a hit.

We might need a sixth. Cause bro is pretty good, dude. So what replaces the cranberry? What's the? Cranberry is pretty good. What vodka? Cranberry is good for your urinary tract. Vodka, triple sec, cran. Just double vodka?

I mean, how do you make it? Is it Patron? I mean, Citrone? It's absolute Citrone. I thought it was, what else is in there here? Eee do do dee dee. See, I've been on a crusade that the Cosmo is a gender neutral drink and shouldn't be considered

the sex in the city drink. You're right, but we're trying to lean into the- I know, I know, I know. But I'm with you, Jeff, cause I like the- And I've been on a crusade getting it on the rocks. It's really good on the rocks vodka Cointreau Gosh, geez Louise the pop-ups. Maybe Cosbro was served with two big ice cubes. Oh What if you when you drink it you just take your balls out of your pants

Just your balls, well, how about that you take them out of your underwear, but keep them in your pants. Yeah. Take your balls out of your, out of the, pop them out the front of your underwear, but keep them inside your pants. This is good. Pull your pants down to your knees, but still inside your pants.

And you can notice whoever's truly doing that, because they're taking little walks around the bar They're not a spry surprise, so it's vodka Cointreau lime juice and cranberry juice Hmm Do we add a beer to that? I? Like two ice balls. That's good. Yeah the big old bow I like two ice balls. That's good.

Yeah, the big old bow thing. I think I don't know what to do. We'll think on that, though. That's a good idea. Or maybe we'll just do the Cosmo again next week. It's a good drink. Cosbro. Man Cosbro. Kevin Cosbro. All right. So round two, it's coming up.

Could be because bro because because. Because bro. Because bro. Oh, from the bear. Cous bro. Cous bro. Oh, from the bear? The bear cousin. Round two, are we bumping it up to an ounce of everything? Yeah, I'm gonna add what I have left in my beer because I only bought one of those beers. Oh.

I don't, are you guys? Huh. What's on your mind, man? I was gonna to say, dude, is there is there something else? I was going to say, do you think there's another ingredient to add like, oh, you know what? Out of a might like to pull from the my time. Dark rum floater on top. Oh, that's fun.

Now, what do I have as far as that Myers? You got Myers. I got Smith and Cross. Dosslings, Caruba, Wailer, Kraken. Kraken. Hey, what's the what's the Apple Appleton Estates? Is that a dark room? That's like that's like an amber. That's just a good as gold room.

I when I was on the I was on the cruise, somebody was ordered a drink and they were like, we have something, we have something, we have Appleton. And I've never had Appleton, but I recognize I turn around. I were like, we have something, we have something, we have Appleton, and I've never had Appleton, but I recognized it. I turned around and I was like, Appleton's good. Ha ha ha.

According to my friend, that's the good. According to my friend, Tim and Jeff. And can I have my phone back? Ha ha ha. I want to take a picture of the water. Lock the gates! Are we doing this? Wait for it. Wait for it. water. What's up everybody this is Milanel, the official editor of the pod.

As everybody knows, the guys are trying to find the drink of the summer and they need a hit so bad. If anybody listened to the Brass Monkey episode, then you'll know that I'm about two and a half years sober from alcohol. And I was thinking, everybody thinks that the drink of the summer is going to be a cocktail, but I thought, what if it's a mocktail? So I invented a drink that I think is going to be perfect, and I think it could be the drink of the summer. It's called the Planet of the Grapes. It's a pretty simple drink to make. All you have to do is fill a glass with ice, put in equal parts grape soda and ginger ale, about a quarter

ounce of lime juice, two ounces of non-alcoholic vodka, stir it up, garnish with a lime. Alright, I'm gonna go make this drink and I'll be right back. Alright and I'm back folks, let's do first sips. Oh, I mean I gotta say that that's really good. The grape and the ginger ale work really well together. You got the acidity of the lime and this non-alcoholic vodka gives a little bit of that bite, you know. It takes me back to my party days. I don't do that anymore, folks, but...

Okay, man, I am feeling funny, I gotta say. Let me go check that vodka bottle really quick. Be right back. No, no, no, no, no! Ugh, I think I drink actual vodka, guys. I gotta call my sponsor. Well, it's official. I'm drunk.

Whatever. I stole the Sloppy Boyz LLC credit card and I've been using it to buy crypto. I'm gonna tell the slobheads what I really think about them. I love you guys. The way you guys take care of Tim and Mike and Jeff. I can't thank you guys enough. Hey guys, uh, so it's a few hours later and um, so I rechecked the bottle and it was in fact non-alcoholic vodka.

I just panicked a little bit and I guess maybe I experienced a little bit of a placebo effect. But Planet of the Grapes, great drink, Stone Cold Classic, I think it could be the hit of the summer. Okay thanks everybody. One minute. One minute. One minute. One minute. One minute. One minute. All right, folks. We're gonna take a little small break. And when we come back, the new and improved guy tie. Ooh, by the new class of guys. Here on The Dude Show.

America's favorite podcast, The Dude Show. Billy billy boo. America's favorite podcast the dude show Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Fortnite season is not what There's just nothing, nothing hooking me on this one yet.

Yeah, but it is. It is exciting to have to get bullets again. You're right. Yeah, yeah. Are we back? We're back. Yeah, we're back. Back for real. What are your floaters?

Announce them. Caruba or dark rum? Smith and Cross. Oh, this. Karuba or dark rum. Smith and Cross. Oh, this is I don't know why. I think celebrity bartender Jack Stramm turned us on this when we were making a drink. And I think this is like a nice rum that for some reason I get this each time I get room.

Smith and Cross is definitely a favorite among hip bartenders for sure. Yeah, but if he whenever he told me that day, I would have I get rum. Spitting grass is definitely a favorite among hip bartenders for sure. Yeah, but whenever he had told me that day, I would have just been like, yeah, and now I get it all the time. Whatever he told you that day, you're taking it to the grave.

Taking it to the, yeah. It doesn't strike me as a very Hanford-y rum though, because it got a real twang to it. That's an intense drink. I feel like you're an easy drinking guy. It does. Oh, I'm an intense drink. I feel like you're an easy drinking guy. It does Yeah, I'm an easy drinker I'm an easy drinker. Okay

With one ounce of everything it's it's way better because here's the thing Whoever invented this back on the spike network on mansers or whatever They were probably thinking, don't put too much of everything because you don't make it too sweet because it should be beer, a beer, a chuggable, crushable beer for dudes. But when there's not enough of the stuff,

it gets caught in that uncanny valley. So even though this is way sweeter, now I'm like getting that Mai Tai effect more and something's happening. It's something. It's a thing. It was lost in a no man's land. Be bold.

Look, and there's not just one kind of guy. There's all kinds of guys. You know what? I think the bravest thing a guy can do is talk about his emotions. There's some guys get drunk on beer, some get drunk on rum, and this drink has a little bit of it all.

Yeah, and some de-sarono. I'll talk about my emotions, the emotion of liking this drink. Hey, I'll tell you what. Hold on, I haven't even taken my sips, please. Guys, the rum turns it into a Mai Tai, now it tastes like a tiki drink. Let's see.

Ooh, I got all that Goslings on top. Oh yeah. Ooh, but it's good. It's a hit. Oh, what? This is a hit. Oh, what? This is a hit. I will say too, just get rid of the beer and you got a little drink there.

But get a little mint on there. Get a Mai Tai going. No, the Mai Tai is good. The Mai Tai is good because it's a lot of volume, which is, you know us guys, we like to drink big beers. We like to drink big shots. You know us guys, we like to fill our mouths. Gulp, gulp, gulp.

Yeah, that's guys all right. Gulp, gulp, gulp. This, I like it because it's got volume to it. So you're drinking the way you would drink a beer, but you get a little more buzz than- Yeah, because you're adding, I mean, especially with this. I got a. It's not woody, but it does give you a buzz.

When I was test kitchening this, after I found out about on the manosphere, about just playing around with the recipe. Yes, yes, yes. Once you've been there, dialing it in. Jessica was helping me test kitchen and she pitched this rum floater thing. I really think that there's.

Jessica, whabbit? Stop. I wish I hadn't have done that. For some reason I thought I was like, Mike, now's the time to do your spot on Roger Rabbit impression. It's not that good. I've never done it before.

Well, there's an opportunity now to ask our editor, Milan Patel to cut that. He already used it. But he used it. He already used it. And if I'm going to ask a question, I'm going to ask it to cut that. He already used it. But he used it. He already used it. And if I'm gonna ask a question, I'm gonna ask it to you two. Would you please forgive me for doing that?

Please forgive me. I know not what I do. Here's the thing. I want this podcast to be a space where you can be bold and take big. Can you stop loving you? Tim, take that again. Normally over talking is fine, but it's.

But over singing? But I was laying down a nice track for you to tell your. But I was talking to you. But I can still hear you. I can still hear you. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of a communication breakdown.

The guy tie, the guy tie, the tough thing about it is it sneaks up on you and you try, you get in this vibe of like, I want to help my friends by while he's talking, while he's talking, leave a little soundtrack. It's okay for there to be a tough thing about a guy tie because it's tough. I think, but you make a good point. Sometimes there's different ways to be there for your friend. Let's say your friend is spilling their heart out to you and they just want you to listen.

Maybe you don't want to listen. Maybe you'd rather help them out in some other way. Like, you know, providing musical accompaniment or whatever it is, as long as there's support that's going on. Yeah, as long as the support's there. Yeah. Sometimes support is, sometimes you got,

sometimes you, sometimes your guy friend needs a nice kick in the ass. And I, what I was doing there, that was a jockstrap move. I was doing a lot of support. Um, the other day, one of my friends, a guy from back home called me and he was like, Hey Tim, I got no one to talk to. And I just really, I got a lot on my mind. I just really need to like talk about all my feelings. And I said, and he said, thank you, dude be a man, you little sucker shit. And he said, thank you, dude.

Like that helped me out so much. And from that point forward, he just manned up and he grew a pair. You know what's nice though in this day and age, because we're seeing that the man is such a complicated figure. These days your friend could have called you up and- The man?

The man? Your friend could have called you up and said, hey, I need to talk to you. You could have said, the way you handled it was totally fine, but you could also be like, yeah, lay it on me, dude. Give me some man to man talk, tick, talk, tick, talk, talk. Give me some man to man tick, talk, talk. Yeah, because a lot of times guys will go,

they'll talk to each other and it's like, hey, maybe I don't know the thing, but like I've been on, let's go on TikTok where you find the answer together. We need to go on TikTok and find some guy on guy. So, Guy on Guy in French. Okay, here's another thing I've noticed about the guy tie. What?

I feel fucking drunk like instantly off. It hits you. It hits you because we added so much more liquor. Yeah, because you're drinking all that beer volume, but you've added liquor. Triple sec, amaretto, and now rum. The Smith has crossed his Navy strength. And I know those Navy guys to be pretty strong.

Those Navy boys. Yeah. By adding the rum now, it's got that Tiki thing going on where it's like all that stuff swirled together in this really. It's it's funny. There's a lot of booze now, right? If you have an ounce of amaretto, an ounce of dark rum, an ounce of triple sec, then linemen and a beer. This is sort of a it's a double drink. It's a drink and it's another drink at the same time.

It's when you got gotta do things fast. This is a candidate, this drink now is, having been like out of the fridge for a while, is a candidate for a big old ice cube. I could see this. Oh, well you should look into Ice Made Clear, our latest sponsor on the pod. Hey, now tell me a little bit about them.

If you listen to the ads, you know all about it. But folks, this is the- Sorry, I don't listen to the ads, you know all about it. But folks, this is the ad list of the ads I pay for Patreon. You know, see, that's good. That's where we want everybody to be. But I will give a special shout out because this may be the first ad relevant to our show. Isn't that interesting? What about that ad we did for grow your cock from peanut to walnut? Why do they stop at walnut though?

I don't know. And like make it like the coconut. Yeah. Banana. And also why is your cock like a ball shape? Yeah. Yeah. That's what this group didn't really understand. It's not a good product. It's a good product.

We stopped doing it. Well, anyways, Ice Made Clear is that fancy restaurant ice folks, check it out icemadeclear.com. I like that. And Badger Bebs is our sponsor restaurant ice folks. Check it out, icemakeclear.com. I like that. And Badger Bebs is our sponsor for mixers. We're mixing. Eee. And any other brands out there want to reach out,

we're all ears. I'm looking for things like, you know, Nike, J. Crew. I, you know, just some you can dress in. Yeah. Ferrari. I take a Ferrari jacket. Yeah, you know, some you can dress it. Yeah. Ferrari. Ferrari jacket. Yeah, OK. But it has to be only close since we're doing since we're such we're like a Manasphere show now.

It could we could also also do like a Adam and Eve dot com. Oh, that's right. Or I don't know. That's not really for guys. No, Adam and Steve. It's for everybody. Oh, no. What's the thing you fuck fleshlight? What's that thing you fucked your son I think you first of all first of all What's that thing you make love with to your spouse your spouse or long-term girlfriend? Um, I had a co-worker who I won't blow up a spot, but he was saying like, oh man, it was funny in my bachelor party as a goof gift.

The guys gave me like this flesh light, but it was like an alien, like from the movie, Alien was like an alien flesh light. So it was like all like, it was all like green and weird and like alien and we all laughed. And then I was like, you fucked it though. Did you fuck it?

And he was like, yeah. Now, Tim, we all know I'm getting, I'm just throwing a guess out here. You worked at SNL for two, you did a writing session for two weeks at SNL as a guest writer. Was this coworker, Lauren, the big man, Lauren? I can't give it away, but let's just say that after Don Pardo passed away, this is the guy who took over announcing. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. You know, Tim, I'm just going to go back to Lauren because I don't know what the other guys. You don't know how to, you can do an impression of Darrell Hammond, the King of Impressionists.

The Impressionist. That's the tragedy of Darrell Hammond, is he can impersonate anyone, but can anyone impersonate him? I saw him once in New York. It was during COVID. I was eating some wings outside on the, like in one of those little makeshift outdoor areas.

And I saw him there, I was like, oh, Darrell Hammond, you're great. You're fantastic, he said, thanks. And then I remember I'd heard about this, I think it was on Netflix, a documentary about him. He is a... He's had a crazy life. Yeah.

Crazy life and a lot of mental breaks, you're probably using the wrong terminology, but like a lot of moments of like, this is maybe extreme, but like leaving SNL, not going to the after party and going to like a fucking Bellevue or something like like assisted living yeah yeah yeah like like that type of I know I use Bellevue a lot of it was it was I have that book on my shelf and I've never

read it but that is the the blurb on the back is like I finished up the show I did good nights and I walked straight into a straight jacket and they took me away yeah great why I mean I was gonna say crazy but that's pretty sensitive Like I finished up the show, I did good nights, and I walked straight into a straight jacket, and they took me away. Yeah. Crazy, wild. I mean, I was going to say crazy, but that's, instead of wild stuff. That's funny.

I've noticed in general, the rise of the, in the last five years, people saying wild because they're trying to not say crazy. And it's funny to be like, wow, wild. Yeah, wild. Yeah, but then I was saying wild, and then some fucking woodland creatures came and they said that wasn't fucking sensitive of me.

And the Minnesota wild came to it. Some fucking fawn walks out of the forest. I'm getting fucking mansplained by a fucking squirrel. This is why we need the guy tie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guy tie, Manhattan, Pimscock. Hey, here on the Sloppy Boys podcast, you can say crazy. Yeah.

And you can say Pimscock instead of Pims Cup. You can say crazy if you happen to be CeeLo Green, if we have you on as a guest. CeeLo, we'd love to have you on, even though you were decidedly canceled. Oh, right. I forgot about him. Well, now is the time of the episode where we we got to sort of look back at the last hour at each sip we've taken and decide what's the deal with this drink.

Would you order it again? Michael, take it away. Yes, I would. And I'm excited to go to a bar and explain this to them because I think it's going to be certain. Great. Yeah. You don't order a guy tie, you mansplain it to the bar.

Right. We've all had to mansplain the spaghetti. And now we get to mansplain a slightly more complicated beer cocktail. I had to mansplain something to my urologist the other day. He was like, what is going on here? I was like, dude, let me tell you about this thing. Okay, look, the urethra is made of tissue. Urethra is where all the cum comes out of and the piss. Well, actually, sometimes there's flicks of shit in your piss. Sometimes you fart out of your balls. Michael, your penis is extremely small. Well, actually, the average penis is

very small if you consider all animals. Sure. You put that next to a mitochondria. It's giant. I'm hung. I'm hung like the Redwood forest, my boy. Timothy, your thoughts, please. This is order again, I'm excited to add. This is strong, strong order again, but I've never had this on the pod before where I almost want to strike from the record the original recipe, because I think let's lock in

ounce of lime, ounce of di serrano, ounce of triple sec, ounce of dark rum. I think you want this to be a strong drink that gets you fucked up because it's a man's testosterone drink. It's not a crushable by the pool light sipper. It's a man's Mai Tai for the boys for once. You know the chicks can have the normal Mai Tai's.

the boys for once. You know, the chicks can have the normal Mai Tai's. You know what would be nice to add to the Gai Tai? An eye drop plunger of testosterone. An eye drop plunger? Like an eye drop dipper, just that much, just a drop. I almost wish like when we announced this drink, I wish it had the rum in it, you know, because I feel like without the rum, it's nothing.

Tim, I mean, for the recipe card, I think we launch it as ounce, ounce, ounce, ounce, ounce. Yes, and include one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tim, I want to ask you about this. Originally, earlier on in the process, the earlier recipe that you brought to our attention had orange juice in it and then you found another What you said the purer recipe that you doubt you dug deeper. Yes, and you found this right? What was the orange juice? Did you try that one at all? I did and here's the thing

Triple sec with its with its with its artificial orange flavor is bringing more to the party. Oh, yeah an ounce of OJ flabby Flabby especially your especially when you're adding it to beer. That's a lot of water weight. Yeah, that's too much. It kind of just made a brass monkey but didn't give any orange taste. It's a lot of water weight and when you're dealing with the Manosphere,

a lot of us guys deal with cortisol belly. We're not fat, we're not out of shape. It's actually just cortisol belly. I love that. I've seen that about cortisol and then also about other things too. Like it's the best marketing campaign to tell someone like, you know how you have a big fat gut. It's not your fault.

It's my fault. I'm sorry, but I'll make it up to you. Just buy this. And I'm sorry. It's me. Tick tock voice. It's me, TikTok voice. It's my fault.

That was like our idea for pitching a show and like to a bunch of executives be like, well, it's a show about, there's a show about you guys and you're in it and you're in it too. Really me? Folks, it's an order again. This is a sort of drink that's gonna give you the confidence

to talk to a girl when she's walking to her car. Yeah. It's gonna give you the confidence to- Follow her for a little bit before you talk to her. Walk behind her at night. Oh, God. No, stop. No, no.

He's trying to be funny by being by being In your face do people people know this is satire. You don't know no, it's not here's the thing modern masculinity is No, it's not it's not what you guys are thinking. It's it's being a good father It's being a family man having a wife and kids taking care of your kids being there for them You can be a girl dad your your Your daughter's crying, you cry with her. Whee! Oh, Daddy. No matter what age, even if she was a toddler. Daddy, I fucked up the ballet recital.

Oh, you did? Oh! That's modern masculinity. That's the modern man. And then you know what? You say to your son, he's got the big game. You pull him out of the game, you force him to do a ballet recital as well. In place of the sister? Yeah, go up there, dress as your sister.

So now you're doing sort of like a little rascal scene type thing. That's what being a man is. Doing little rascal type stuff with your kids. That's what being a man is. To a little rascal type stuff with kids. That's the man. Oh, that's the man. The man sort of resides behind that beaded curtain, if I remember. Yes, yes, yes. If you remember, you drink the five cups.

So that wraps up the drink. We're a fan of the drink. We're each a fan of the drink. We're a fan of the drink. We're each a fan of the drink. We'll get out of this up and get that. Hold on. There's three wise men have have elected to canonize the drink. But of the five, what do you think is our actual hit?

Gator bite, Carmen Miranda, Grape Gor gorilla, the five cups or the guy tie? I think this, the great gorilla and the Gator are like, uh, kind of real drinks. You know, I got a hiccups. I got to go great. Great gorilla. I feel like, um, it's based on Minneapolis' own grape ape, but we've used grape Celsius or grape monster instead. That's, these other drinks.

We added straws, we added straws too. We added straws. But the other drinks are good. They take some explaining and stuff, but I would say with no context, I would give anyone a grape gorilla and say, prepare for the night of your life you second shit and it's and It's kind of a tested thing too out there because a great babe

Is the great babe walks so the great gorilla could fly? Hey, are you guys looking forward to anything in the summer? Yes, I am Do you have any big plans along the lines of steak on beach Seashark? My big plan for the summer constantly being work constant working out. Constant Sigma grinds that constantly working out

constantly at the gym constantly in short shorts constantly drinking Power Shakes. Power Shakes. Protein Shakes, I meant to say. Oh, well whatever you meant to say. Yeah, I had other visions for myself, but now hearing that I gotta ditto Mike. Just constant protein, pumping, working, feeling the pump.

The pump is life. Protein for the protein. And, you know, I'm also gonna have another Bratz summer. I like last year's Bratz. I'm gonna do it again. Same for me, but intermittent. Fasting? Bratz summer.

Ooh, Bratz summer. No, intermittent crushing power shakes. Oh, it's a mission. Intermittent sleeping. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, we already mentioned it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys.

That's where you actually support independent artists instead of just pressing play on your free little treat after week after week. You gotta do the work folks because we're doing the work for you. Folks that's the sloppy boys need a hit tune in next time for the ultimate conclusion. Bring your friend my don't you and we'll cover a brand new drink that you you probably might even know. And jump on the jump on the Patreon, folks, because this week we're talking about Turnstile's latest album, Never Enough.

Never enough. Never enough. It's Never For Duts. Oh, but but is it for Duts? That's that's what you're tuning in for. But is it for Duts? Let's find out. Let's find out. Bye, folks. Bye, folks. Bye, folks. Bye.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys