The Sloppy Boys - 253. Split the G

Episode Date: August 22, 2025

The guys attempt the latest booze challenge: drinking a Guinness pint down to the center of the G in a single chug!HOW TO SPLIT THE G:Fill a Guinness pint glass with Guinness. In one go, attempt to gulp the Guin in such a way that the liquid-foam line aligns with the center of the capital "G". Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello, hello. And Tim Kalpacchis. What he is up? Oh, we are together in each other's bosom once again this week. Holding each other's hands in a triangle shape, getting this podcast recorded. We're at.

home. Casa day duts. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know what still pops up for me on my, my, my playlist and things on my Apple is Casa Day Mel. Ooh, what a song. Love that song. Brad. Good all. Good all. Yeah. Who's who I believe is a sloppy boys fan. I think he follows it. How could you not be? True, true, true. But he's a fan of the music, not the podcast. Yeah. The musicianship. If somebody listens to the pod and doesn't listen to the band. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? If somebody listens to the band, doesn't listen

in the podcast, that's fine. That makes more sense. No, no, we're a good band, and then this podcast is ancillary. No, no, our main thing is our Patreon podcast, subscription only. That's our main thing. And speaking of music, we talked about, we went to the King Giz and the Lizard Whiz. I got to remember

not too shorten that all the time. We went to the King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard show. I've been shorting because it's so long, but I've only shortened it with people who know what I'm talking about. But I think if you just say, I think that fans say King Giz, And then if you were going to, if you're talking to a non-fan, you're going to scare them off with that long name. That's true. That's true.

King Giz. Well, we talk about King Giz. We went to the Hollywood Bowl and we talked about it. We did a whole episode on it on the blowout. On the blow out. And that's the show we like. King Gis like Led Zep. Ooh.

Tight, tight, tight, tight. The slop bowls. Slop boy. Slop boy. Slop boy. Lock it. Can I tell you, so I'm staying over at Tim's house. He puts together.

puts together a beautiful home until i do want to ask you about any any uh improved not improvements any new uh steps coming with the at home bar but first has it been any movement actually that's my question mentally the wheels mentally that's what i'm saying because i know i'm not seeing any physical uh i've been there a few times yeah but what's yeah what's mentally what's going on what's with you i saw a bar on facebook marketplace that i haven't bought but was what was what I was, you know, like I was saying, like, well, I'm holding out because I don't want to get just like a wooden standing bar. I want like a leather upholstered sitting bar. Ideally, ideally with some curvature to it, put a couple of stools.

But I want people that have a, like, it's like your feet can rest on a thing and your knees are underneath the thing. Yes. And I've been seeing stuff like that for like $3,000, which is not in the budget. Pretty penny. That's most of the budget of the tiger room, if I understand. No, the tiger room is all luxe, but this is the main room. The tiger room looks like LAX right now. There's scaffolding everywhere there's dust.

Yeah, right now you've got to take a shuttle to a temporary tiger room that we have around the ball. If I'm ever, because I've torn around, we'll be torn around with our band very soon. If I'm ever at an airport and it's like, okay, find the Uber. You have to take this shuttle. I'm like, I'm too much. Too much for me to be walking and shuttling off a plane. How about this? Listen to this.

I just found out. Life hack. At L.A.X, you know, you have to get on the L.A. exit shuttle to go to the Uber area. Not if it's Uber Black, Uber Black drives right up to crew. I had an Uber Black. That's expensive stuff, too. Yeah, but think about that. Spend another $20 to not have to get on a shuttle at the end of the long.

Yeah, because that is like usually when you fly in like when I, I always feel like it's like late night when I land in L.A. for some reason. That is not when I want to be shoveling around. It's funny, though, because it should go the other way. The time should make it so it's not late night, but. Here we are. I got matched with an Uber black driver just through normal Uber. And he was telling me all the ins and outs. Yeah.

How they spot each other by license plate number, like professional drivers. There's like one digit that's like, if that's a letter, that means they're a professional driver. Cool. And if to drive Uber black, your car needs to be black inside and out. Oh. And certain cars are on back order because they're such popular ride share cars. Like, like I want to say like an expedition or like, uh, It seems like it seems like Tesla is like the new big

But like there's more and more Tesla But like you've seen those When I order it I'm expecting black SUV Yeah like a You have to like step up into them Escalade I look at a moment for escalator Chevy Suburban or something

It's weird when you just get a like a black town car pull up You're like yeah But this guy was telling me he was trying to get me To like be one of his One of his regulars like hey if you fly a lot Take my number right right And I was like buddy I'm so flattered that you see

me as this type of person who has a drive or a driver. He's like, you're a young upstart up, what do you, record producer? Either way, you're probably having sex with models. And then you want to impress them, don't you? A podcaster. Podcasts, oh, you got like a Joe Rogan type thing.

Not exactly. Joe Rogan scale. Hey, are you Joe Rogan scale? Well, we will be. But, Tim, that is the thing that we lament every time we touch down in an airport is like, what fucking hoops do we have to jump through? Where do I have to roll my?

bag to to get a ride home yeah and then we one time we were on a shuttle we saw an altercation between a musician who was traveling with some fragile music equipment and being sort of a annoying about it and then a driver who was insane and these two guys were fighting and I was like I don't know who's side of mine this this this this this this picky musician guy was like be careful with my bags and then the driver was like I'll kill you I was like really but he wanted to fight he was like getting in his face like neither of them were backing down it just became like a pissing contest

old guys did you see what started the thing just handling the bags because the musician was just like hey hey careful with that you know what I mean because it was like the driver was like you got to put your bags up on the thing you can't hold your bag and he's like he's fragile so then he did it roughly and he's like

that's thousands of dollars of equipment and the driver turned and didn't say anything just stared him down like this is my bus and it was like these are fucking dorks get off my bus and then I got in the mix, too. I'm also a musician and also, I'm a motorist as well. I appreciate your end of things with the vehicle. I can see where both of you would come here. I own a Fender Telecaster,

but I also drive a Ford Thunderbird. You should have been like, you know what? We'll drop all these people off. Then the three of us will go in and out, we'll settle this whole thing. On me, guys. Wow. Magnanimous. You know what? It's magnanimous. The classic California move is to land at LAX go to that big in and out. I rarely do that. I like it, but I rarely go to that one. Tim, you got to have friends from out of town who are, who demand it. Yeah, but the line there.

That's, Jeff, we've run into problems there. I've had Jeff drive me to LAX and the, and the hook would I get him on? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Hey, we'll go to, I'll buy you in and out. He's stomach's hurting all the time. He can't even eat the stuff. He's just looking at it.

His hands shaking. Oh, I'll just have a cup of water. Oh, for a while I'm getting fed. this smells making you pass out anyway with cowpe's hideaway the latest

development was me seeing for 400 a black upholstered bar with a that's like a corner for 400

where on the market Fontana rancho kookomunga oh okay something could come

kookomonga on Facebook marketplace and then I said that's the that's an amazing price this is a cool looking bar

but I didn't go get it you will I just did nothing it's gone now well because I was like I'm gonna have to ask somebody to somebody with a bigger car to get it for me the tracks yeah wait a minute we got oh the tracks maybe tracks maybe with a roof rack

depending on if like the base comes off or the top comes off of the tracks of the tracks the base is always falling off by car apart that you know it's fun about living in like a big city like Los Angeles Los Angeles or New York, Chicago, the big boys, you can go on marketplace and you're like, they'll probably have many options for me for a very specific thing.

If you shop long enough, like, you'll find an incredible thing for like hundreds or thousands of dollars cheaper than it should be like mid-century, puffy, the rim that goes around, like the padded rim. Right. And that's the thing is if you get out of L.A., then I'll tell you this. My sister's boyfriend, Sean. he wanted to get this one specific Toyota pickup truck and he was looking he lives in New York where everything's expensive and you could only set your Facebook marketplace distance to 250 mile radius he was seen all these expensive trucks like the truck he wanted was like $17,000 like you know is he going for like the small pickup no big big old pickup oh okay um and and then he was like what if I just set my location somewhere else so he put his location in Mississippi immediately found the exact truck he wanted for far $5,000 less.

Wow. Because that's like truck, what do you say? Mississippi, you said? Mississippi. Like more trucks are down there than up there. Trucks and also cheaper. Yeah, yeah. And then so he bought a cheap plane thing.

Flew to Mississippi. Took a $70 lift ride out to some guy's house in Mississippi. Got in the car, drove straight home 18 hours. The dream. Yeah. Did he pay? Fly out drive back? That's like a fun project.

So, you know, like a $200 flight and a $70 Uber and some fast food on the drive back to save five grand. That's pretty good. That's fun. A couple of days. It's fun when you do, I think the thing about like going on marketplace or like trying to find deals is getting something in the having that feeling of like, you didn't get me. Yeah. I outsmarted you see. Because we're fucked every day.

Yeah. To get one thing that's like cheaper or free. You know, you see those things in this case. It's like Carvana. It's like a vending machine for cars. It's like, yeah, but you're going to. Yeah, I figured it out. So I don't have to do the fucking huge thing.

I tried to sell. I tried to use Carvona or Car Fox or CarMax or CarMax with the Mazda. they fucked me so hard like I was getting excited about maybe getting $700 and then they were like well it's not insured anymore you already moved your insurance to the new car

but if you can get this insured we'll honor the $700 I'm not gonna pay double insurance to like make this same for a month just or a day on Craigslist sold it for two grand oh nice like how can you not yeah yeah you have to

and that's the other thing like if you're selling something in a big city, you'll get a lot of bites. Single owner though, non-smoker, clean car, stick shift, wow, wow. Oh, yeah, non-smoker's a big one. You know, the thing about how we're getting, you were getting fucked all the time so that when you actually get a good deal, like, what the fuck?

I have one, I'm not going to say where, because I'm gatekeeping it, but you guys know on Wednesdays, I go to the same fish taco place and get my $1.49 fish tacos every week. And I can't believe, these fish tacos, they're normally three bucks, but at a dollar for, they're big, deep fried, bad

fish toppers. Is this where I think it is? Yeah. Okay. Um, with, uh, like the cabbage and the sauce and there's a whole salsa bar and stuff. By the time I get this big chunk of fish, by the time I've loaded up with the sauces, I'm like, they're definitely losing money on me. Sure. I go get like, sometimes, look, you could charge $8, $9. For real. Like, it's crazy. And like, uh, I'll go there for lunch and dinner. And then I'll be like, they're, they lost money today. I feel I, I can't believe like. First of all, it's too much fish. You're going to get mercury. re-poisoning, or you're risking the pot. It's only Wednesday. But I also think when I get it to go, then they're getting a styrofoam container, a plastic bag, a bunch of napkins, a cup of water.

Like, so much for me to be like, like four tacos and they just give them six bucks. But do you do a fish and a shrimp? It's only, that's a different place. What the fuck am I thinking of? You're thinking of, uh, you're thinking of, uh, I'm talking about. Oh, now, Tim, this is tough because, you know, you've made a point to say, sort of where you, you do your, your saundered. You're bidding. This could be easily, easily figured out. People can piece this together like the family circus cartoons with the kid with the dotted line going around the neighborhood. Do you remember this?

No. I know family circus, but, you know, family circus. I'm thinking of love is. Family circus, yes, I know family circus. They're both like kind of unfuny, undeserving to be in the comic section. Love is not even attempting jokes. It's like, I think there was a Simpsons thing. where he's like, what's love is?

And Homer's like, it's about two naked children who are in love or something like that. I want to say Billy from family circus. I want to say the artist is Bill Keene. That's like mean, right, the one you're talking about? Or is that just one famous family circus? Is it memeable? This was a running thing where the kid would get into a bunch of trouble and you'd see his path of travel. It's like, he went through the dog house and over the tire.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the whole panel would just be his thing. Yeah. Those are fun. Yes. The answer is yes, someone could triangulate what I'm talking about. I'm wondering if they were to do that work, is this the worthy project for their time? Right.

Because there's all the things that they could do. And instead of getting $1.49 fish taco, there's a lot of things they could do if they were taking on a little project. If they could sort of uncover and make public some files. Right. You, Tim, though, you, my friend, you're saying, oh, I speak of Hunter's laptop. Ooh. I assumed you were talking Epstein. Hunter from the Netflix show.

Anyway. We are far afield. Sure. You're saying, oh, they're losing money on me. No, they're gaining money on you. That is an advertisement. That one day, could you go back there other times, right? This is the thing.

I've stopped because of the things I feel like they're losing money. It's a good burrito. I've been to that place. I use a whole bottle of hot sauce on that fucking taco man. They're losing money on the tea, man. And now I love that place. I would absolutely go get their breakfast burrito, but not anymore. Not anymore.

And now that you're gatekeeping, you can't even advertise for us. This is a full-time. Well, because word is out and the lines out the door. Oh. Sometimes on Wednesdays. Oh, okay. Wednesdays will never be the same. They're doing all right.

Words out the door. Word is out the door. Word is out the door. Word is out. Lines out the door. For a lot of these places, my beloved Cafe Los Phila's. I went to get a burrito the other day. Yeah.

That's a good break. horrible line. Do you know that what there was a big TikTok about that burrito? Yes. I want to say it was the guy I hate how Kev eats or whatever. Yeah. How does Kev eat? How's he doing? Just exactly like we all do. But yeah,

no, that blew up and it's crazy. That, it's just, it's so funny that that to just see that happen. That was like a place there that nobody cared about and now it's a place that everyone's caring about. Oh, Tim and I this morning went to Maru, the really nice coffee place. And I enjoyed my coffee. I

a flat white that's been my go-to these days i try to find i sound a little more uh sophisticated could i get a a coffee and don't put anything in at all mike i saw you today walking around on foot i was getting my haircut oh you were on the maybe on the way because you were you were you were walking down hillhurst yeah oh yeah by the library you saw me going to get my hair cut walking on hillhurst we should do a pair of i went and this one i won't gate keep fellow barber right fellow barber where the old Rudy's was formerly Rudy's beautiful haircut I went back to a lady who I was I got a haircut here back in the day before Thanksgiving we figured it out and we had she'd cut my hair for an hour we talked we were she was telling me how the process we were talking about her family her daughters and couch great time that's cool you get your haircut out here because she did such this is I love this haircut I think I think I wasn't going to commented on on pod but we're talking about we're talking about it's okay but see it's It's cool that you get it cut out here, but not, it's not cool out here. But when you go back to New York and you say, I get my haircut in L.A., that's cool.

Yeah, they'll say, oh, you must be a big spender. Like, no, no, no, no, no, cheap, cheap, it's very cheap. But yeah, if you sound like a bird. I was telling, I was telling the woman I was like, you've got, I mean, I think I've had three haircuts in my life where I was like, this is exactly what we talked about. We discussed it ahead of time But she's like talking during Like we're figuring out through it

You mean as you leave you like it Yes not when I get home I see that some hairs are so longer I've ever had that It's rare and that's why I really made sure I got back to get a haircut A lot of times it's like two weeks later I look in the mirror and I'm like

That guy was right Why did I push back He knew I'd grow into it I can't be taking his scissors out of his hands Cutting my own hair in the mirror But a chatty haircuter gives me worry, gives me pause. Right.

Unless it's about, they get to yap in and then they chop too much. They chop too much. A few years ago at that very same place back when it was Rudy's, there was a guy that always cut my hair, kind of had a Jonathan Van Ness look, long hair part of the middle. When he would cut my hair, he must have been an aspiring stand of comedian because he would go on these like long rants that was like. Is this at Philiburger? Yeah.

When it was Rudy's. Okay. Because I met a guy who was an aspiring. stand up who maybe he's still there well i feel i don't know if this guy ever did stand up but he would start being like it would be like well i'm going i would be like i'm going home for thanksgiving and then he'd start like doing standard material by his thanksgiving but he'd be looking in the mirror at himself oh no and he'd be like cutting my hair and looking and then he would stop and he was just in love with his own face you know one of those people which i am too so i was

like hey look at me yeah you still look at the mirror but look at me in the mirror um oh i have a funny the proper nouns in the story. But here's an anecdote. About gatekeeping. I had a weird thing recently where there's a weird guy on Instagram named and he was shown to me

by our friend and then I watched him a lot like this guy's weird. And then I showed him to this comedy producer and then showed it to and then they made

made a video with so it was like I put together a comedy video with the way it was almost like imagine if you showed Tim and Eric like a weird insane old guy and then they used them in a video you should get a finder's feet

I was fine with no finder's feet but as a comedian I felt guilty that had showed me so I texted and I was like hey sorry I showed and she was like what do you mean you're sorry I'm like isn't that Like, you showed him to me.

She's just like, what are you talking about? She's like, look, if you can just get me a collab on the post, I'm fine. If you get a ad mention in the comments. That'd be great. But it was funny that she was so perplexed that I was like, well, you found that. She's like, I, that's a human person. Like, fine. What do you mean?

It is funny when you, when you like are worried about something and you broach it to anybody. And they're like, oh, that's not a problem. You're like, you're right. That's not a problem whatsoever. Right. I'm sorry. But it's like I did like lose a couple hours of life being like, oh, my, what have I done? Yeah. I catched in chips. Well, do we get in a little booze news? Oh, yeah. Bebib bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, booze news. Hit it. Are you ready for now 17 of today's hottest superstars in one power-packed collection?

F cart girls. Now you can have all your favorite hits right here, right now. Oh, it's a year. Pipson line, I've got to find. Beveridge cart girls were undeniable. Beaver cart girls. That's who we want to drink from. Tricky, drinky, tricky, drinky. Chart toppers from Shakira, Billy Joel, Aqua, Brian McKnight,

Coconut Records, Lil Thrilla, Paul McCartney, Pet Shop Boys, Dr. Benedicto, and more. Supercase. Now that's what I call booze news. You can't be showing that in school, man? Slote Pete, bitch. Now that's booze news was sent to us by Nick Andrews. And if you have a booze news team, email to the Sloppy Boys Podcast at gmail.com.

Hey, I'll say it again. The booze news themes that are coming in are very good, folks. These are nice. We've had, I'd say, three or four in a row in a row, just banged her after winning her. And hey, Nick Anders. Andrews. Andrews. Nice job with a view.

Vio there. I assume that's him doing like the now. That's what I call confident, not afraid of his neighbors. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He probably lives in a house. Or he, yeah, he might live up on like a top of a mountain. That's where all the best VO guys live. That was, uh, it's funny that he added coconut records because that's that's a, I like that album, but it's an obscure song. Just to use the soupcase. Just to shout out. And yeah, in the mix with Shakira. Um, you know what's funny, Mike, in that, the clip, when you were first talking the clip, you sounded to me like Dan Castellaneta. Yeah.

I wonder if you could probably do a good Homer. I do, you know, I kind of do do a good homer. Let me think what's some of the thing. You don't have to do it now. I'll take your word for it. Maybe it's Homer getting his prescriptions in order. Disgruntled noise. Hey, Marge. Hey, pretty good. It's not bad.

I've done it for people and they're like, that's actually good. I go, oh my God. I thought Dan was here. I never even thought I had a homer in me. Oh, let's see if I can find him. Hey, Marge. Merge, where's Bair? I don't know.

And there's March. There you go. Will Lisa be showing up tonight? Will Lisa be showing up? Peter, I'm the dog. The family guy dog. Yeah, yeah. I'm the white dog.

Yeah. What's the actual booze news, Tim? Okay. So, here's kind of a cool kind of a thing. You know how there have been rumors floating around for years about how Kirkland's signature liquor is good. The Costco house brand.

I knew about this. The wines are like, great class wine. Because what they do is it's something called white labeling where you are, they're not making any of their products. They're getting them from other manufacturers, changing the name, selling them a little cheaper or whatever because they're buying them in bulk. Yeah.

So we've talked about it because I think Jack Schram had told us like, like the vodka is gray goose or something. It's like something crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So I, we've been here We've discussed it for years, but then more recently, he was a viral video I saw on vine pair and watch this one-minute video clip. Would you believe me if I told you that this, Costco's Kirkland Hellas Lager is literally

one of the best beers in the world right now. And for around $14 per 12 pack, it's an absolute bargain. The Kirkland Hellas Lager was originally called Prince Crispy. In 2023, Oregon's Deschutes Brewery took gold at the Great American Beer Festival. That award grabbed Costco's attention, and soon the beer was rolled out as Kirkland's Hellas Lager. Same beer, same recipe, just a different name and different packaging. Costco's been doing this kind of thing forever, white labeling high-end products under its Kirkland label. This year, Costco submitted the beer to the World Beer Cup, where it took home a very respectable silver medal.

That's big prizes at two of the biggest beer competitions in the world. So yeah, Costco is literally selling a world-class award-winning lager for just over a buck a can. Cheers to drinking like a king on a Costco budget. So now I saw that. I said, that's kind of cool. I would like to have an award winning beer for so few dollars. But then I said lamented. I said, Tim, you're not a Costco member. You don't pay the $60 a year to do that. And then somebody told me, alcohol cannot be sold at membership spots. Interesting. So you are allowed to go to Costco without a membership if you're shopping only for out. for real wow for real that that's a hack folks that no one would think of that so this very morning i woke up and oh wow good podcasting tim no fucking way i was just thinking like we got to do this

he already did he's doing it okay here he comes hell yeah so this was 1397 and it's uh you know it says right on it that they're not hiding it to shoot breweries right on the box to shoots um and now here's what's amazing i got there i said to you know they check your membership when you walk in right i was like hey i'm looking to buy beer um and i don't have a membership like i said it like this is a weird kind of thing here for the beer and they're like i'm a huge sloppy boys fan but not the podcast is the band um so i was like am i learned to buy beer and they're like yeah yeah you're just getting in beer and then I was like yeah and they're like one second let's get you an escort

and they had some guy come and he walked me to the beer now here's the weird thing as I was getting the beer he laughed so it's not like he had to he just had to walk me to the beer but so this is Deschutes Prince Crisp repackaged

as Helles style logger from Perkins now Helles style is that supposed to be like a a brewery like a Wade's brood or something or is it a It is a type of, yeah, so it's the type of how it's brewed. It's a logger. It's basically a Munich, South German logger is a hellas.

Oh, okay. And now, cool. We're sipping. Deschutes. Yeah, see, that's like a brewery beer. You know, if you were at a, with some beer snobbs and you're drinking this, I'd say, I also like that it's a logger instead of like an IP. Yeah. There's something going on over there at Costco.

You know, we all know about the was a $1.50 hot dog that's not going to change. Right. They do this with, like you're saying, with the gray goose and the shoots here. I don't understand what the, I don't understand what the benefit to them. Why be so kind to the consumer? I guess it's just like, hey, we want to like show people that we do good work. Yeah. We're giving quality products.

So I get that part of it, but it's so, it feels like these days it's so. antithetical to like every other it does these days it does these days these days i think if you're charging like a membership fee you really want those people to to uh like you and feel like it's worthwhile because you can i remember we had one or i had one and i like had it for a couple trips like a couple months and I was like, there is no need for me to have all this. Did we ever have it for the old birthday boys house? I feel like we did. Or like somebody had it for their jobs so that we could kind of all go together. Like we're doing a Costco run. And I remember just getting the very basic things that I used all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a two pack of sliced turkey,

which would basically go bad by the time I got through it or like a bunch of cheese. When you said that for some reason, my brain thought a pack of two slices of turkey. I was like, What in the world? What do you do that for? Yeah. And it's probably like so many people, I wonder if like the, the membership, like, and the actual amount of people who go there and use it to its full potential. Yeah, right. I don't know.

So I was, I just looked up. Lost in the weeds on this one. I just looked at, I can't find Prince Chris, but I was just looking online at like prices of Deschutes beers to compare to. And for a second, I was like, oh, it's the same price. Who gives a fuck? No, that's for a six-pack. So this is essentially half-priced for this beer. Wow.

Kirkland. Kirkland, you've done it again. It's still so funny when you go there and see, like, the clothes is Kirkland clothes. And I wonder if they're, like, getting... Gucci. Those are Balenciaga. That's like big Kanye boots.

Have you guys been to Costco? You guys are not members, are you? Not in, like, five years. I really had a feeling today when I was there of a, wow I'm seeing America you know like there's a lot of big families there and it was bustling it was so packed do you get any samples

I don't think I was allowed to because I was I'm not a member You're making up dates you know what's funny I looked around to the samples and I was like what I'm going to get and then there was like long lines the place is packed today which is weird because you think only weekends is packed but

there was so many people waiting to get every little cracker or everything and I'm like, oh, you fucking, look at these fucking sheep. And it's like, I'm trying to get in the same line as them. And then there was one table. I was like, oh, there's not long, there were a couple people like reaching for stuff. But I was like, what is that?

And I looked at it. It was water. It was like, just the water fountain? No, it was like little cups of water. I was like, I don't know if I need to sample that. Have you been to a B-B-E-E-E? It's like a truck stop. B-U-C-E?

Yes. No, I haven't. But I know it's got that. little beaver as a very devout following it's crazy like i'll when i'm on tour and stuff i'll go into these like i just think i've seen them mostly in like the midway like i just was in one in kentucky recently and it's like huge and you're right it's just like all like the people of the area like this is where to shop or the walmart or something and it just they've got everything and they've got like so much merch and this is the company that when we'd see the billboards would be like

oh they try to use like internet meme talk it would be like, oh, I can't think of a good one, but they'd piss us off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. But it's just so, you go in and you're like, fuck, this is how everyone shops. Just a giant store. I guess there's no other options, I guess. It's like a Wawa, right, but then I think they have like barbecue sandwiches and stuff that people like.

Our friend Ben was traveling in Texas and he got really into it, like maybe like Arkansas, Texas. They got a wall of jerky. their famous walled jerky. Oh shit. He was saying like it was said some of his favorite barbecue that he had South was there. I mean,

it's got to be somewhat good because so many people are there, but it's, I was just like, it's astounding to see a thing you've never heard of and walk in me like, oh, this is huge. Yeah. So this isn't the same in terms of it having everything,

but where was the burger place that we ended up going on our most recent tour that was like a regional thing? The varsity in Atlanta? No, it was more like they had the concretes. shakes come on concrete oh uh not custer's culvers culvers that was a revelation to me right was like how long has this been going on and it's like i've recognized this logo for a little bit but i never tried it because yeah it's like we're like um but culvers is way better than like i you know sonic is

another one where i'm like i've never seen a sonic in real life yeah really or never been inside one but culvers was like i was mad i'd never had it before how about checkers you were Checkers is a... Checkers of here is rallies. Rallies. It's like a Carl's Hardee's type of thing. Rallies is checkers now? Rallies for a while, you know, when the promo item that they're pushing really hard is like a big new thing and the whole new menu.

For a while, Rallies was doing wings and it was like, we got buffalo wings and barbecue wings. And I was like, your whole thing is that you're a drive-through place with a seemingly NASCAR theme or like IndyCar theme. I don't want bones. Like, that's insane to be in your car. I got them because there was one in that water. The drive-through Starbucks and Atwater used to be a rally's and I went and it was so weird to have like sticky bones in my car. Nastified.

Nastified. All right. Is that it for booze news? Well, let's hear some sloppy boys tour dates because, oh my God, we have a surprise, folks. Everyone here has been heard all about our fall tour, which includes a lot of the East Coast. But you haven't heard about Portland. Maine on October 21st.

Just at it. We're playing that show at the, at Oxbow Brewing with our good friends way of the headband. But that's also going to be in a middle of a big fat tour that includes Nashville, Chapel Hill, D.C. Philly, Newark, Boston, Portland, Hamden, Connecticut, Woodstock, New York, Amherst, Mass, Denver, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Indianapolis, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Detroit, and Lansing. That's us doing all that. That's right

That's going to be nice And that's October November folks Look at that Look at us go These beers They're not cold I forgot that I bought them warm

And I put them in my fridge They never got cold There's a little chill to They're good A little bit There's a chill to them They were maybe sitting On drafty room

That's it for booze news Wrap it up Oh And now we turn our attention To the drink of the day A very viral occasion if I understand correctly. Yes. Yes. The drinking challenge of the day. It's a challenge today. Split the G. You've done? I've not done. I've never done. This is going to be, because you're the only one I've ever seen do it. I tried it at a bar in Chicago and we posted on Instagram and I, I fucked it up. Came close though. Yeah. But like I have no, yeah, I'm, I'm curious to see like what my first, we should do two attempts or two or three attempts so we can kind of like. First attempt is going to be God awful. It's our first time even trying. You need to have cheek.

You know, there's hand-eye coordination? You need cheek eye coordination. Yeah. I don't know that you need eye because you're not looking while you're drinking. You need cheek coordination. Yeah, you have to be thinking and cheek about, you have to be thinking of the volume of your drinking. I even thought of asking the internet, how much do you need to drink to split the gene perfectly? No clear answer.

I heard someone say four sips. but yeah but what does that mean yeah i want to i want to hear like to split the gpherly and like a guinness pint it's 150 milliliters or whatever right right right you know what i mean um so anyone that doesn't know splitting the g is when you have a pint of guinness stout and you sip and in in like one chug or uh you know one series of sips you drink beer and then you put the glass down and you want the level of beer to be level with the g in the the word Guinness, ideally right at the very, yeah, like right where the crest of the round is or like going right through the Jeep.

Yeah, right through the, the middle. Horizontal, sorry, yeah, the horizontal line of the Jeep. Yeah. Now, this was, we don't know the origin of it because it was just like a traditional pub type of a thing. Oh, I actually found, ended up finding out. Can you share it on the pod? I can, and it's very simple. It was a leprechaun.

Oh, I can see that. Oh, the leprechaun invented it. Now, Jeff, he's taught, he's not a lepregum, but he's talking like him now. He did all edd. No, I'm Irish. Oh, he's Irish. I heard about the man who called the Leprigan. You are a bit Irish.

Sounds a little Transylvania, though. Oh, oh, yes. I saw, maybe I sent it to Nick Nanny or he said it to me, I forget. But it was a video, like a viral video. Oh, look at the Irish. No, no, no. Now I'm going off Transylvania stuff. It was a guy breaking up with his girlfriend, and they both had accents like they maybe were from, like,

Romania or something. and it was like you treat me like shit he's like no you treat me like shit and the meme thing was like when Dracula has to break up with this girlfriend it was so perfectly like you treat me like shit man there was a funny stretch of Disney Channel original movies where

in like teen wolf fashion very much like Teen Wolf it's like there's a lead character they're the star on whatever team the first one I think was called like, it's like a mermaid thing where a kid finds out that his mom is actually a mermaid and he's on the swim team. He starts to develop fins.

He. Yes. And then there's another one called Luck of the Irish where a kid finds out that his mom's a leprechaun and he's on the basketball team and he starts to like have lepercon traits. Lepercon luck. Wait, does he is every, uh, I get episode, a season or? This is like a movie. Like a TV movie.

Is it like every time somebody's parent, like it, the offspring has something to the parents? It seems to be like the formula that worked for them. Like, oh, they're a teenager and they have a crush and they're on a team and they're half mystical creature. Uncopyrighted. Good. Copyrighted too. That's every kid's dream, though, that his mom is a mermaid. And to be involved in uncopyrighted content.

Oh. Okay. Now, splitting the G, it was a. It was a pub thing and then became a more recent trend to getting TikTok and stuff. So it really blew up this year as a fun challenge to do. There's also like apps. Actually, no, you can't sell a drinking game app on the Apple App Store. So you have to like just get it off the net.

But they're like apps and websites that rate how perfectly you've split the G. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was looking at them today and they didn't seem super fun to me. It seemed like a way to take the, you know, there's people that take the, you know, there's people that take the fun out of a fun day. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, we talked about that when we talked about splitting the G. It's like, you know there's guys at home or like practicing it with water. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. In I think of college, I knew kids had played beer pong with water for practice. And you're like,

but I was using one of the apps today and it was like it had a time element too where you time the person and then you take a picture of the thing and it does some division about. No fun. I was like, yeah. The whole point is that you just take a chug and you look down. You get one hoist. The idea is like, you know, You know, you get one pull at it. Yeah. And I don't think that should be timed. Who cares? You know, like, that's not good to do that fast. It gives a shit.

Yeah, I don't know. That's for, that's a more experience. That's Olympic level. So now what I've done is I've ordered us one Guinness pint to, that has the, the Guinness label on that we could use. It's a 20 ounce glass. I guess the British pints are, imperial pints are bigger. Okay.

So it looked like a big fat fucking glass to me, but I do think. that Guinness pines are large in general in general that look a little fluted top but this was yes but this was the only one I saw on when I searched split the G on Amazon this is the one that came up and they didn't have any others so I hope it's correct but then I also like for for us to be able to do this one at a time keep drinking I brought some other pine glass so we could like pour out our goodness so we can share the one glass without having to wait for a guy to finish the whole beer yes that's good you know it's interesting like If it's a 16 or 20, this is like we've done it so infrequent or never to one time that it's like it could be any size. It doesn't matter for us.

For us, we don't know shit. But I mean, I would like to think that on this show, I'm learning with the correct measurements. So then when I go into the pub, I'm the king of the pub. Well, do we get into it? I say we get into it. Folks, we're going to go prep the G. And when we come back, we split it. We split half. Okay. And we're back.

Guinness drafts out in hand. We're ready to split the G here on the sloppy boys podcast. Split the G. It's the G you need. You want to be with me. You got to split the G. Yeah. Pretty good.

Pretty good. I like it. I like it. All right. Let me split the G. Mike. Michael Anford is up first. Do your worst.

You're mine. Okay, here we go. Now I'm going to just, I got to get down to here. Okay. Okay, he's measuring with his fingers from his high class to his mouth. This is going to be a big, I got to take a big old chuck. Here we go. He's chugging, he's sipping, he's confident, he's scared.

He looks terrified. He looks terrified. D, oh, let's see it. Wow. Ooh, not even down to the letters. A centimeter above the G. Not even down to the letters. Oh, that sucks.

That's going to hurt him on the final tally, folks. Now, it sucks to go above the G because it's like, you can't even be like, oh, I drank too much. Yeah, yeah. Mike, how do you feel? What did you, what was going through your mind? And when you looked down at a G and saw it unsplit, what did you think? I was so surprised to see how little that was. Because I took a few like like gulps.

Yeah. Because it's not all in one gulp. It's just where like one raise. And I was surprised. I was very surprised. I thought it was going to be much lower like almost below it. I guess you got to drink a lot of shit because we found this is a 20 ounce British pint glass. And we have a 12 pack of 12 ounce bottles of Guinness.

And when we poured one bottle in, it was almost splitting the G with just the 12 ounces. Yeah. So you're taking out eight ounces. a cup. A little less. A measuring cup. A measuring cup. A measuring cup. J man's turn? Jay man's turn to split the J-J-J-J unit. Uh-huh. Here we go. Look at him go. Okay. He's feeling good. So I'm just going off. All I have to go by is Mike saying he

was surprised how much you got to drink. That's all I'll tell you. Okay. He's spilling on his couch. He's so focused and oh, worse than Mike. Whoa! Worse. Worse than Michael. Damn. Oh, Jeff, did you get any of it?

No. None. You got none. Did you spell on the couch, Jeff? The G remains unsplit. Yeah, we got whole G's floating around here. We need to split these. This is...

I guess I didn't think through the logistics, but it's very funny to me the way we're doing this. We're sharing a bunch of it. tearing a pint and filling it back up. It's like, so it's not a cool drinking. We're not getting drunk because we're sharing. We don't even share that with the listeners. We keep topping off the same pint.

Okay. I got to say, though, that does look beautiful. This glass, when it's filled up with the black beer, the white lettering really pops. That's a good thing. And we're trying to get, it's the same pour for each guy. The foam is a, you know, about a centimeter of foam just kissing the top. It's a, it's a perfect pour. Tim, you're up.

It's very attractive. It's beautiful and frothy. Okay. Ready for the man to split the G. Can you do it, folks? He's had an opportunity before to split the... Wow, so fast. Wow.

And again, writing on top of the letters. All right, we are... Oh, my God. I did exactly what you did. We did all the same... We must have the same exact size mouths. Only one way to find out. So that...

Oops. We need to Guinness a volunteer of one penis I was like I saw an old British guy say it takes four sips So I was like I took four sips

Yeah I took three gloves Interesting All right let me know I feel like round two It's gonna be Bullseye bullseye Bullseye It better be

Really good beer though Doesn't it taste good? Yeah I always I always kind of forget About Guinness And then I see someone ordering at a bar I said no you know

I'll have one too And I'm always I'm always happy We do a lot of beer bros Kind of wanting us to cover more beers Yeah It's not really of interest to me, but here I am loving the Guinness. But I think that they'd be disappointed, but then we were like, like, because Guinness is to them, beer bros, they want to hear about the dish out of hell's longer. And like, they're, well, they got that earlier.

They got that. They're happy. This is, this is, we gave them what they want. Well, maybe this fall we should do, uh, some beers. You know, like a beer fest. Pick some like, diesel. I was thinking also in the fall. We've, we've never done it.

And it's not really a fall drink, but you can see where I'm going with it. Appletini. Mmm, I see what I see exactly. The classic year 2000 girl drinks, sex in the city, Appletini, but you think Apple Harvests, Apple Picking, fall. You don't really think of DeKyper Pucker as an autumnal beverage. But I have seen like craft cocktail bars doing an Appletini that is like, hey, we use this actual apple liqueur that we make. Ooh, bo, bab. Who, top up with moths.

Okay, I'm going back in. Wait. I'm going in the gin. Okay, rolling. Ready? Hold on. Let me take a little look. My Canford round two.

Yep, got it. He's slurping. He's sipping. He's chugging. Oh. Oh, no, we might have overshot it, folks. Damn. Still a bone of the gene.

You drank so much beer. Good Lord. Okay. Is this glass too big? Is this 20 ounce pint too big? It looks to me like exactly. exactly what you see at a bar. I'm surprised that it's an imperial.

Okay. Now, I think it's just we just have no idea what to do, like how much liquid to fit in her mouths. I'm going to search Dua Lipa split G because that's the most famous G splitting video. Did she do it? She, oh, of course she did it. She's Dua. Doa, do.

Isn't she great? Yeah, it's huge, right? It's a doadoo. Yeah, that's a big. But she could also be very small. Yeah, that's a lot of space there for her to, that that looks. Oh, she did it. oh yeah she's so talented she can do everything sing dance drink with the best of them we should have

her on she's got a podcast that would be great we'll do her podcast you can do ours yeah yeah you know we scratch your bag you scratch ours i got dual lingo going i got to do a leapa thing i'm dealing with now all right okay ready yes j man round two jaman we're j man We're J-Man And I hope you like J-Man too I hope you like J-Man too Okay They do Jeff

Here we all do And we are rolling Rolling Now Jeff you gotta chug You gotta do a lot more than you think I went hard dude I know that was I can't believe it

I'm surprised So it's like drinking three quarters of a bottle of beer I'm gonna say Yeah That's what I'm aiming for Two thirds Be more uncomfortable than you think you need to.

Okay, here we go. He's chugging. He's cool. He's calm. He's chugging. Ooh, nice. He's drinking quite a bit, is he not? And then he's putting it down.

Did he? So I did not split the G. I am underlining the G. I mean, that's good, though. We at least got below it. That was five big drags. You're making G contact, but I don't think I can call it a split. But I was in there like, whoosh, whoosh.

Let me take a look here. Woosh. Wooosh. the official ruling here this is nowhere close to a split nowhere close it's closest yeah what are you fucking talking no no no in terms of a dual leapus that was the official ruling Jeff sorry damn that's the best we done though that's

you at least got past Tim you want to aim for four and a half whooshes okay that's what I'll do whoosh the birthday singing alien my do not promote the birthday boys oh i didn't realize i was going to have such a beery time today with the uh the logger and now the hold you're pulling on your beer gut like that just happened ow i got what happened to the

stomach of my i still have not received abs my abs have not been delivered you're still waiting on those abs still waiting on the abs and this uh beer stuff doesn't help my ab what type of Have you been hitting the crunches? I've been hitting it all, man. But also I've been on the road, so I haven't really been getting my... It's so weird that with... If what you're shooting for is a six-pack,

there's two things, right? There's cutting... You're trying to get some fat to go away, but then you're trying to grow the muscle as well. So the two are going to meet in the middle. It's tough. You could just grow the abs so big. Actually, no.

You could get the world's biggest abs, but if there's an inch of fiber on top, you never know. And I may have the biggest abs in the world, nobody knows. Also, like, when people think of abs, like, uh, you're like the fight club abs or like, or like Wolverine abs. Like those guys are, um, cutting water before the cameras. You know, it's like, that's not a, not a natural look to have like fucking abs. It's, yeah, not Tyler Darden was certainly like, like Brad Pitt, he, that, for that fight scene, he starved himself. And like,

do you remember the stripper sketch that we did on birthday boys? Yeah. There were those. two hunks that came in who were like cut and it's because they hadn't drank water in like a day and a half and the smaller of the two was like yeah you know sorry i'm like i'm having a fun time but i'm like a little just hangary biologically you know i'm uh i'm getting the flashes and my eyeballs i'm kind of wee and i say the other guy the taller guy do you know who this is french porn star French Born Star. Right. Right, right, right.

That I came across in my recreational. I was like, I know this fucking guy. You're like, you know what? I'm just going to leave a comment on this one. Yeah. Hey, good to see you, dude. Looking good. That is funny.

The, yeah, I have no illusions that I'm going to have that type of ab or any abs zone. This just probably won't happen. But you know when you see somebody with the abs cut so much, you like, it's like a centimeter. Like you could put your finger in, in the ab part. Like in between each ab? that's weird. Hmm. It's weird.

Go ahead, Tim. We got a, we got a split. Let me boot up the camera here. And action. Hey, G, prepare to be split.

Ooh. Okay, he's, he's attacking it with some, with some gusto. Oh. Oh. Oh, damn,

almost the same exact spot, Jeff. I mean, I was that. Exactly. Jeez. Does that not look exactly like. He has underlined the G.

We're fucking losers. man. Okay, I'm going to do. This is going to be my last fuck. Because I think now I can do it exactly. Wait, have we all gone twice and we've all failed twice? Yeah. Holy. And also we're cranking through bottles. So it'd be funny that if we go through this 12 back and we only ever drank the top, you know, like a quarter of this

one. The bottom of this beer is all of our backwash at this point. Wait, so my second one was the G was or the line was still over the G. I still haven't gotten you guys at least got done for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is better. This is fun We should do this all the time

Split the G There should be other things You could split or top or Drink To underline I actually think about Bissecting the S at the end of

You have to tilt the thing Side with I'm sure like any other Bears that have like An iconic glass Like Stella Artois Are thinking like God damn what's our

Split the G Yeah That's very funny You gotta foam the S you could split the tea as still we should put out a sloppy boy's drink as a clear can so you can split

you don't have to pour it out I'm gonna talk to you guys off pot I've got some ideas but for sloppy boys drinks great oh great for like packaging and selling because I already said Appletini but you're thinking of like sloppy boys

retail drinks Yes, yes, yes. Not ideas for pod. Nye. I liked Tim's idea of a clear can. Me too. A clear metal. I like that quite a bit.

Yeah. Guys, from a lazy Google right now, I'm finding that you do split the G with a 20 ounce glass and that's what we have. That is, I feel so good that you found that because I felt like this whole time it was like, are we doing the right thing? Is there going to be an asterisk next to this episode? Mike, you could use a little bit more in the top just to. Yeah, so that you're calibrated. A little surface tension. Oh, perfect.

All right. Split the G. Split the G. Well, here we go. Wait, wait. Wait. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. Okay, so I'm thinking back.

I did a lot of chugs. Yeah. This would be great to post nine fails of splitting the G. Come on, Mike, we believe in you. Split that G, baby. Oh, he's got it. Do you need to bump your eyes out of the time you do it? Oh, same exact spot in the bottom.

He has underlined the G. Hey, here's an interesting thing, too. Mike, you slam that pine glass down and it foamed up more. So as it settles, it might split the G as the black. Yeah, what's the time? We're not going to give a time because Jeff's about to fill it right back. Damn. That's tough to do.

I also thought with the slugs I was taking, it was going to be like way low. Like that was my other concerns. Like, I'm maybe doing too much now. Well, the glass is really fat up there. too. So there's a lot of drinking to be done. Damn. Do it? I mean, how do you do it? I don't know.

Well, I'll tell you this. It's funny that because we keep filling it up and everything, the stakes are low, but usually you buy the one pint and that's your only chance, you know? When you hear a phrase like stakes are low, does that freak you out? Yeah, I have nightmares about that. If I did thrilling. All right. All right. All right, asshole. Was that that that's that leprecona again? Oh, God, there's a Transylvania Lepricon here.

We should do a movie about a guy who finds out he's half drag. And half lep. Half drag, half lep. And he's been chased by nothing but grammas and linds. This grammar is nothing but a lute. Okay, let me tell me. Okay, I got you. Coming in, huh?

Okay. Last time was five big drags. Got to take it down to four and a half. Come on, Jefferson, split that G. Now, can you, like, are you actually gay? Like, I'm just, I don't even know. Okay. He's drinking.

He's sipping. He's thinking while he drinks. Ooh. No. Did I short it? Oh, no. Oh, no. So close.

Are you back above the chain? He overlined it. He overlined it. Damn. Oh, that's pretty. Yeah, that's good, though. I can't hate the text. I think we'll just keep going until we're done with these beers or we can do it or something.

I mean, we can even put these loggers in here, too. Yeah, we split the Kirkland Hellas Lager. Split the G with a Kirkland L. Oh, wait, when you were just saying, somebody shoot this, and Tim took out his phone. You guys both have newer phones than I do. Remember the last episode? I was like, oh, I'm going to get a new phone.

I was going to get a new iPhone. I mentioned. I didn't pass. Yeah, I do remember. It was that thing that you always, like always happens when it's like, I'm going to go get a new phone. I'm just going to put it down, say, give me the newest one that I can afford and transfer everything.

And it's like, of course I didn't get one. There was something where I had to take, like, free up space on my phone to get this. And then I was just like, oh, why is it always? Have you gotten the text that said come on down? No, no, I just. Or yes, yes, yes, yes. I was going to say, no, I just knew because I got a, they told me. I thought you were going to say it was like a sticker shock thing with the tariffs.

The new phone was going to be like a $1,500. No, but you're, the sticker shock was, oh, you want the new, whatever, the 16 or something. Well, you can have it, but you, you cannot have the one, like I have a, let's say, 250 gig phone right now to get the one in my price range for the 16, or what I thought the price was good. My price range is huge. To get the price range that I wanted. Or it was just like, oh, but to get your phone over, you need to get the bigger phone. And I was like, well, I need a lot of space, obviously. Yeah.

Just the way I do my phone. Huh. But it's like one of those things. It's like, it's never easy. You can't just walk in and be like, help me and figure it out. My old phone, I was like deleting photos and stuff just trying to keep it limping along. So when I got this one, I was like, give me the terabyte. Yeah, yeah.

And I went like, you know, hog wild on it. But here's the thing. I didn't learn my lesson. I just kicked the can down the road. Yeah. Now I have a new phone with thousands and thousands of old photos on it. Right. And I'm just going to fill it up again.

and I'm not going to learn. Also, if you, if you send, if I send you a picture, yeah, it, it exists on my phone in two places. What? So I've got all my, like, there's a part, a space in your phone that you can delete all photos that are like, doubled up and sent a receipt. Somebody needs to come to my house and tell me how to use my electronics, Tim, you're up. Yeah, because sometimes I have some people on a setting where like, if they text me a picture, it's automatically in my camera roll and other people that, yeah, that's not that. And I don't know how my, decided who that was going to be.

And then when I get something that's like, it's like download this image and it's not in my camera roll, where are these fucking things going? Great. It's in the eye cloud. You got to be Steve Jobs himself to figure these things up. I feel like I used to know all this shit. Tim, you're up. Okay, G, prepare to be split.

One golf, two gulfs, three gulfs. Oh, damn. We've all, you're above the G even. So, God, you and Jeff are like the same exact, I went under before. You and Jeff had the same exact, uh, drinking minds. Yeah. I, yeah, we, we have always had the same exact drinking minds. I'll do it again.

Well, let's go until so. Should we take a little break and then we'll come back with more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With exactly the same thing. Have we each failed three times? Yeah. Jesus crazy. Okay, let's take a break.

Folks, hopefully this is good listen. I bet it's not. Folks, get ready for the ads. And when we come back, three more attempts. Also, folks, my gambard here. If you don't think this is good, don't tell Tim it's not good. It's fun. It just give it to us on this one.

But DME say it was good. You think he wants to hear negative shit? I'm a yuppie. Please don't for me. Unless you want to talk about money. Because all those yuppies, yet we like money. We spend it in a Saturday or Sunday. And we're back.

You want to split the G you want to be with me? We should have a splitting the G song and then capitalize on the whole craze. Oh, well, we're doing this already a little late for the craze. No, but that's good because the craze happens and then someone comes along. Yeah, that's true. We don't want to be the strokes. We want to be Jet. Yeah, honestly.

We want to be Jeff. Just got that money. All right. I'm going to split the G. I've decided. Michael, round four. Come on, Mike. We believe in you, Mike.

Come on, Mike. Just split the G. We love you, Mike. Just split it. Just split it, Mike. Just split that G, Mike. Don't underline it. Don't overline it.

His eyes bug out of it. No! I am so not close. Not enough. I'm back way above the G. Because you were under last time, right? I think... Or have you only ever been...

Yes, I went over, over, under, over. See, what you got to do is. split it have any of us hit the words did I hit the words at one point words like the hit the letters I feel like I've been like clean above or right under no you were perfectly underlining like making contact with underlining the damn but none of us have like stabbed right through the words right we haven't even got like we haven't split in I'd be happy with that yeah let alone splitting the G just like get through the but that I mean if you get it that that would be splitting the G because the G is

the biggest letter. It starts above the rest of them. So you're not splitting an, you're not splitting an S, E, or either of the ends, let alone the U or the I without splitting the G. Is that worth saying out loud? Yes. Oh, also, it's all, it's all worth it. A delicious beer, huh? It's so good. Yeah, this is, this is good. And it's, it's the funny thing, I feel like Guinness always gets a bad rap for being heavy. It's not. It's like, like dark and frothy, but like it has less calories of most beer, I think. Yeah, it's like 130 calories for a 12 ounce. And it's only like a crushable of four percenters.

It's like not a, okay. It's not a big beer. Um, I'm about to do my fourth attempt. Okay. Here we go. Jeff's got to split the G. Hey, Jeff. Split the G.

Come on, Jeff. We got to be done with us up. We got to first person to split the G. We're done. We're going to have to buy more Guinness. Okay. I'm going to go for 4.25 gulps. Okay.

Yes, that should do it perfectly. Come on, Jeff. Split that G, Jeff. Come on. Oh, yeah. He knows what he's doing. This is Jeff's time. This is going to be.

No, he's over. I can tell for me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. No. He's making G contact on the top. Wait. He is.

Wait. Wait. No, he's not splitting the G. No, no, it's not split the G. No, no, it's not split the G. It's kissing the G. No, this is no word. That's not split dose.

It's, but it's making G contact. G Contacts is the best we... G contacts is the best we've had. I'm sort of in the G spot is... Hey, you could say that. Isn't that a myth? Man. Folks, the G spot is not a myth.

Trust me, I've seen. Yeah. And are we sponsored by like Hens or anything like that? Yes. Blue 2 or something. No, put Hymns, I think we still have that.com. Hymns, we are Hems. I did the ad for it.

Hymns, when you need to get hard and fuck. We need to get hard and hair. And what? Hair. Hair. You know it would be funny if they do. Bones and hair. Do you think there's, I mean, I assume so, but do you think there's guys who used

blue chew and hymns to jerk off? Yeah, I double up. Probably. Probably. Double up to jerk off. That's one of those things. Like, if you can think of the kink, it exists. Or, but just it's like, if you want to crank it and it's a slack, you're going to have to.

Doc, my, uh, my Don Johnson's been a little slack. Man, have you seen bad moms? Yes. With, uh, Milakunis. I think I weirdly only see, seen bad moms Christmas or something. No, you got to see bad moms one. Catherine Hahn has the funniest limp dick joke to me. She talks about like

fucking her old husband who can't get hard and she describes it as gathering up a balloon animal and sticking him in. Nasty stuff, Han, but we love you for. She's so funny.

She's a nice lady too. I met her a couple times through work and stuff. Nice lady. I agree, but bleep this. Okay, back to this. All right, Timmy. Okay, here we go.

Hang on. We get it on. Please. Hey, G. Prepare to be split. Wait, did I go too high last time? Okay. Hey, G.

Prepare to be split. Come on, baby. Come on. Oh, no. Too high again. Again. Fucked my whole life. Too high.

It's fucking annoying. You guys didn't tell me how annoying this thing. Now, I know before you were saying, like, oh, is this going to be fun for people? I think when Meelan, aka Recollection Boy, love that. Oh, that was funny.

When he, when Recollection Boy cuts this up, I'll make it fun. Well, yeah, that's sort of a challenge. So, so,

Milan, you better cut this up in such an entertaining way. And listeners, if you're bored right now, you know who to blame. Look,

I also think, I know this is supposed to be a competition, but I think we need to, like, coach each other. Like, I think you need a little more. No,

I'm cheating. That's cheating. But I just want somebody to split it. No, but we'll get there. I think if we don't deserve the split, we should go on split. What we're going to do, I think you're right, what we're going to do is finish this box of beers and then we'll be done.

That's so sad. It is sad. Well, sometimes these are episodes, I mean, life's can be sad. Like me sad, but sometimes we try these drinks and it's like, we take that in stride. We have these drinks and sometimes they aren't great. So this might be one. Okay, Mike attempt five. Thank you.

Five. Oh. Come on, Mike. split that g bud a little less spit some back up there Mike oh what's he doing what is he what's his plan oh oh oh oh he might have done it look when that phone settles that's what I did it wow wow yeah holy smokes I was doing a little tiny siplets. And you got to put it back.

I was doing a little tiny. That's right on. I think we should all do one last round just so we can try it out. Let's just finish out this round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thrilled. That was. You fucking nailed it.

Teen sits. It's sitting right on that diphthong on the G. Is that what they call that? Serif. Like almost, yeah, diphthong or serf? What is a? That is split perfectly. But it did take practice, folks.

Yeah, look, that is pretty perfect because it's right on the diphthong. Damn. Okay. I was wrong. Diphthong, a sound formed by the combination of two vowels in a single syllable in which the sound begins as one vowel and move towards the other. All right, Webster, we're going to need an example. Coin. OI.

OI. So then what's another example? Cloud. Cloud. Wow. Loud or cloud or. side that does okay so is that

what you meant to say when you said it's sitting on the dip thong yeah well that's what I do when I dance I dip my

I put my hands up on that hip and I'm wearing a thong anyway time it's just for you to try your last split or keep going

if you want I'm just I think with me you got to split the cheek I can see that being

in a booze news theme he's already split it You don't want to go out on top with a happy energy? You want to now fail after that? I don't want to do anything. I'm just done drinking these chugfuls of beer.

I'm not doing another round. I'm proud. My friend did it on my behalf. Oh, okay. So, oh, he was a team. This is a sloppy boy split. I'm not going to split that. Gee, I could drink all night.

I mean, I'll do one more if you want to. Let's do one more just to finish out the round. Oh, yeah. Because he was the first of the winner. But would it be great if I split it and then you split it as well? That would be a podcasting. We would win a webby. I don't think it's a winner.

loser thing. I think it's the sloppy boy split the G. I completely agree. Because we all sort of learn from each other's. Exactly. Seps. I feel like this is the only way to split the G is to kind of like do it with your friends and practice and like refine your technique. And have fun. This is fun. I got to say, I haven't had, what did I have, Tim, I had a egg suvied and an egg potato bite. Why don't you have some of that turkey chili verity that I made? It's good. I, I think I've had too much of it. He made. Turkey chili Verde. He didn't make a giant pot of turkey chili Verde. And here's my secret.

It's so good. I under seasoned it. And then I have a flavor station of hot sauces so you can take it in any direction you want. That's better than Mike's technique. He undercooks the chicken. No, mine is perfect, but it's like kind of undersalted. So then when you take out the green chalula, it's good. Or we're taking some of those green tostitos.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But this guy's just got a giant lick. croissant of of green crusat le croissant of green chili

oh what a joy that's pretty funny it's great when you got a good food that you're like I'm just going to take a bunch because there's still going to be a lot left and Jeff it's healthy

it's just ground turkey with some green hatch green chilies in there a little bit of a can of green enchilada sauce quite frankly I'll take your word for it Tim

get ready to film you boy By the way, I'd love to be in France When they They play the little mermaid And that guy goes Le Poisson le Poisson He he-hee-Haw

Where the French are like What the fuck is he what's he He's fish But like The he-he-he-he-ho would be like We as Americans don't have to see that too much Like French people don't make animated movies About how dumb Americans are

Right He's splitting the G He's got this, Jay. Jay takes on the G. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's thinking.

See, now you've got to pull back to him. Now you've got to do the detail work. Oh, yeah! Right on the diphton, baby. Right on the diphton, baby. That's huge. Tim, you got to get to that diphton, baby. Are you guys dipping the dipton or what?

I'm going to dip that dip. That isn't, that's cool, isn't it cool to do it? Isn't it cool to do it? It is cool. I'll say, I still did five sips or like five, you know, poles. Yeah. But not like as big as I could do, you know, like five medium poles kind of got me there. What I did, I think you were doing two.

Medium large. You take a couple big ones just to. get you in the zone and then fine-tune. Then you get your detail work. But you're flying blind, you can't walk. Oh, yeah. It's still like your heart is going a pile. A minute, you're sweating like crazy.

When you're doing your detail work, what are you basing it? It's no feedback whatsoever. You may as well do those little sips first. And then you go for broke, man. It's the type of thing this, you know, you're getting more and more drugs so you start to have ideas that seem to be working and nothing, nothing makes sense. sense anymore.

Okay, here we go. Ready? Oh, boy, if you do a three for three. Let's just do a three for three. Split. The G. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We do it three.

Yep. Prepare to be split. Ooh. Ooh. Oh. He's in the zone. Oh. He's split!

Oh, my God, he's doing! It was the detail work right at the end, the fine duty. we did the same exactly every time we don't do three big gulps and then a bunch of tiny it works but like we did we all did over then you guys did under and then i did under over wow we zeroed right in on that dip thong baby i am so we dip the thong you put your hand on my head by dip dip dip dip that dip that was wonderful wow you can't have a better ending to a great podcast we're going to win a fucking web me for this. Do you get a webby for that for splitting the G?

That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. This one, you just buy some Guinness. Have some fun with your friends. Get the official glasses with the G. But folks, we're here to talk about the Patreon. That's where you

double your life's pleasure for only $5 a month. For $5 a month, your money goes towards your own happiness. You get to laugh twice as hard every week because you get the sloppy boys blowout that drops on Wednesday and if you want to go a little harder you could also get questions for Lenin oh that's a fun hosted by uh British rocker John Lennon John Lemon and I've had I've had

you've had I've had me alone I was good I'm blanking on his new name recollection boy and I've had recollection boy on the show yeah that's awesome he's been He's funny as hell. The cool thing about subscribing to the Sloppy Boys Patreon, patreon.com slash the sloppy ways. You get pulled into the whole culture, the whole thing and you're a part of the whole. You get to hear extra episodes about other stuff.

Like, for example, this week we talked about how we went to the Hollywood Bowl and saw King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. Last year, we were looking through the Billboard top 40 talking about all the pops. Last week even. I've been split to what a jeez. Yeah, I'm a little jeez. I'm split out. That's a funny thing with beer.

It's sort of like, you know, when you do that power hour, it's like not that many beers, but you kind of, I feel that right now where I'm like, I don't, I'm not a beer drinker and I'm surprised at how busy I am. But that's also we did. Well, like, what do we each have two beers, maybe? Yeah. And like pretty quick, like that's five rounds of eight ounces times three. Well, wait a minute. No, we did five rounds each.

Oh, five. So five times eight is 40. Look at these. We just drank a 40 just now. I got, I got four, five empties right here. Are these all empty up top? This guy. But we didn't, but we didn't drink.

Oh, yeah. Okay. You're right. It's also, you know, when you like, this happens a lot, this type of drunk happens a lot when you get a pitcher with a group and you're drinking, you drink some. You drink some. You're like, oh, the pitcher's here. Let me cool up my drink. And you don't know how much drink. I don't know. That's the thing. It's like, if you're drinking, like, I know I had one beer. I know I had two beers. But then we just like, I don't know. I don't know. Everyone seems to think I'm the life of the party. So I did all right. Well, we didn't really have to like go around and give our final thoughts. But I would say do it, do as a. to order again, it's a do again. This is fun. This is fun. Fun activity to take part of it. I would, my opinion would be completely different if we didn't all split. You would be like, this is stupid and this sucks. And then also like, this, that absolutely is the way to do it. If you

had to attempt to split the G and then finish the pint throwing off all of your sensors. If you had to wait through a whole pint and then like come back, yes, in order to attempt again. Getting drunker? Yeah, no, you'd be fucked. I agree. And also,

thanks to Guinness for giving us a new drinking activity. Did they come up with this? They did not. And in fact, they've, they're aware of it, but they've done nothing to lean into it. They don't need to. But that's a cool move. Let it happen. If they were suddenly all like, hey, the hashtag the G, it would ruin it, you know? In 2026, the three of us should go to the Guinness Factory in Dublin. People say it tastes better there. People, yeah. We should kiss the Blarnie story.

Anytime I talk to someone who goes to Ireland, they're like, and you know what I did? Or Ireland? You know what I did? It seemed kind of hacky or whatever. I went to the Guinness factory and it was awesome. Like that's always the report I hear. And I farted it on the Blarney Stone.

Hey. Hey, you know what? What? I also want to get to the bottom of what the widget is. You know, and you crack a can of Guinness and it's got that little thing in there. The carbonized thing. It's like a nitrogen. Yeah, yeah.

A piece of plastic with nitrogen in or something. or a boddinger. Sorry, folks. I haven't reviewed my periodic table recently. A Boddington brew. Right. Bottington has as well. It's like, what's that little widget?

And what else can you use it for? These glass bottles, these are, it's said on the box, these are meant to be like drank from the bottle. So they've like dialed in whatever that. You know, there's like strict rules about, you know, to properly pour a Guinness pint from a tap, it's supposed to take like many minutes. You know, they pour it halfway and then they let it sit and they tie. It's like, it's like sitting there for like four minutes.

In America, we don't have that kind of time. Yeah. Go, go, go. I got to be at the New York Stock Exchange because I got to get one of those stocks. I was trying to think of the word shares, but I said stocks. Damn, dab.

Well, there's always next week. Damn, Daniel. Damn, Daniel. And damn, all of you at home. Thanks for listening to the show. Yeah. We'll see you out there on the road, IRL. Bring your friend

Why don't you Introduce them To the new best thing Yeah folks If you're a slophead Make it your goal To this week Tell a couple friends

About our show That you're in the whole thing That they don't know about It's bringing you joy in your life You know how many fucking people Come to like Six, seven, eight Sloppy Boy shows

Yeah It's fun as hell Lots of people People come in groups Like people meet up at our shows It's a lot of fun Yeah people are way into it And if you come

you're going to see why oh you got to see come and see why the sloppy boys live show tour the sloppy boys and we'll see in Portland Maine folks and by the way

Portland Maine you're not off the hook for coming to the other shows in like you know you have to come to Amherst and Hamden and stuff like that too yeah this is a group thing this is a groovement that

only gets groovier if we all pull the line have you guys been to Portland yeah may know I have not. Oh, you're going to love it. Lobster rolls, fucking oysters, dude.

Fucking brick everywhere. Fucking aligash beers, man. Usually, like, the roads are brick. Yeah. Well, that's perfect because I just got bricked up. Yeah, it's just brick by fucking pants. Folks, we love you. See you next week.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. All right to me