The Sloppy Boys - 268. Phony Negroni with Chris Farren

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

The guys welcome rock star heartthrob Chris Farren for some non-alcoholic, ready-to-drink bottled cocktails!St. Agrestis Phony Negroni is available in select stores.WANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, Boston, Massachusetts. Boston. Bastian. Greater Boston area. Where are you going to park that car? Oh my God, December 28th, we are going to be at the Crystal Ballroom in Somerville doing the lineup live with Mike Mitchell. Holy shit, December 28th.

Right between Christmas and New Year's, the sweet spot. Yeah, it's the little hammock you love to lay on. It's perfect. You just spend a little time. with the family. They're driving you fucking crazy. Get out of the house. Hang out with your three boys and your other boy from Boston, Mike Mitchell. Three boys and your doughboy doing the lineup live. You folks, do you remember the lineup? This is an infamous drink.

That episode got a little nasty, a little intimate. That's a little stumpy, cunty episode for us. Well, we're bringing it back live. It's a pint of Guinness. A Yeager shot. A Yeager bomb. A Bud Light. All chugged as fast as you can. Invented by, well, Mitch's friends and Mitch. Come out out, folks. Have some fun with us. Hear the story about how the lineup was made

and watch us do our best. And we'll have some special surprises just for those of you sitting in the house but in seat. Isn't that great, folks? Come on out, December 28th. Crystal Ballroom. Tickets are going fast.

New York City, December 30th at the Mercury League. The Mercury Lounge The Mercury Lounge The sloppy boy's band Is playing a big concert bash That's the end of the year Bash, you gotta be a part of

Folks, Crash the Bash Come on out Come on folks, Crash the Bash How do you bash And we want to see how you crash And how about this? We dress up Dress up nice, huh? Top hat and tails As you bat, Crash the Bash

This is the night before New Year's Eve The Real Party Night New Year's Eve is a freaking mess Have some fun on the the 30th with us at the Mercury Lounge. Folks, dress up, bring you girl, bring you boy, and bring your wallet, and come see the sloppy boys

at the place where the strokes played. Bring a good attitude while you're at it. See you there. Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Calpacus.

What is up? Oh, and joining us today, a very special guest. You may know him from bands like Fake Problems and Antarctica Vespucci. Yes, Earth's final musician, the Born Hot. Chris Ferrin is joining us today. Hello. Yavidavidu! Excellent stuff.

Looking good, dude. Thank you. Very nice. Thanks for having me. Joining us from inside the lab. Yeah, Chris, you always tend to have a different look every time I see. I think last time I saw you, you were kind of dark-haired, longer hair, mustache. Sure.

Yeah, I grow my hair, and then it shortens. I get haircuts, and then, you know? This is the thing about you. You get haircuts. I do. I do get haircuts. Well, when we jumped on the re-stream here, I was like, whoa, Jeff has a slightly different look, but it's just a little different. yeah it's funny uh well speaking of chris farren's hair lengths yeah um uh you know uh do you remember

we came to know you uh from uh back when we were doing the birthday boys sketch comedy show on iFC iFC encouraged us to live tweet the show underrated underrated show yeah cult classic great show i had said one of the best sketch comedy shows of all time thank you chris shows of all time Chris, you should be on the show more often. This is nice. Every week. But I remember we would like live tweet the show when it was airing. And then there's this guy in Twitter sometimes saying, hey, great episode.

And he's verified. So we see that blue check. We say, oh, who's this guy? And we look and we say, it's a Floridian rock guy. And he's got long hair. And it was like, at first I just. I thought you were like a metal head because he had the long hair. Right.

And we were like, this, these, these are the rock dudes in Florida love us, man. We're huge down there. As long as you can pass muster with the rock dudes in Florida, I think you do all right. Yeah. But, but then, you know, then I got to know your music and I love it. And then we, we play a show together at the satellite RIP. Rest of the years. Mere moments before the pandemic.

And I've told this. to Jeff Rosenstock that I was very inspired seeing you, the show you put on, the guy, it's an infectious energy. And I remember watching you like rolling around on the floor at satellite. And there are times when I'm performing and I'm sort of like, oh, I think I'm kind of stealing from Chris Ferron right now. That's fine. But the, the, the, the, the, the fevery has happened.

I've stolen it. It's burgled. You've been burgled, dude. Yeah, it's rolling around on the floor. Anybody could do it. It's a huge. It's like a crazy multimedia event, too. There's video. There's, it's, it's, sure. Oh, it's, it's very excited. I remember thinking, I got one guy doing all that. They got one guy doing all that. That's the guy. Yeah. Well, now, now I have a drummer. So now there's, there's at least one other component to that. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's a huge production. That's a huge production. It's doubled in size.

Chris, I saw you play here. Within the past year over, was it Brooklyn Steel, perhaps? Yeah. And still do, oh, the Warsaw, that's right. You still doing some wild and crazy stuff. I was up, you know, you got me some tickets. So I was a little VIP section. And all of a sudden, you leave the stage with a microphone.

And you did this at the satellite too, but Warsaw is a much bigger place. And all of a sudden, you're up on the balcony area singing with the microphone. Yeah. As if this, you know, as if the court is made of some type of rubber. It's a hundred foot. A hundred foot cable. Is that for real? Are you really coming?

There's no tricks there? There's no tricks. It's just, it's a normal cable. You can buy them online. 100 feet. You brought it. And I brought it. And I brought it.

Yeah. Chris, you do a thing that freaks me out. You do the post show or pre-show, I don't know, bag dump online. Post show at the hotel, yeah. I actually have been doing that for like decades and then just recently thought to start filming it. It gives me. anxiety, I'm like the gearhead over here

and I need to know where everything is and whenever I lose a charger, it makes my next day terrible because I got to hunt one down to see you open a bag. That's why I do it. Oh, you do it on the way. I need to see everything that I have in my backpack. I see you do it

on the way to organization. I don't want to like see it you know, like by looking in darkness. I need to dump it And then methodically, the video I don't make yet, maybe this is for my long form content, is me slowly putting everything back in. Oh, is the, is the nerdily coiling cables back up? Yeah, I can see why you don't put that up. Man, I just, we just got back from the leg two of our fall tour, which was a two-week stint.

And I had my phone charger. I was like, Timmy, you're going to, you're going to lose this phone charger. I just know it. And then, and I managed to make it from, we play, it was kind of, that was like 16 shows in 14 days or something kind of insane. Something like that, yeah. I managed to never leave my phone charger at bat a hotel room. And then on the flight back to Los Angeles, I left it on the pouch and the plane and the seat in front of me. And it made me even matter that I, because I, like, I could have just like bought one on the road or something.

And I was just like, God damn. It's hard to keep that shit. It's the hardest thing about show business is keeping your adapters with you. All these adapters, truly. I'm having some power problems of my own. So we get back Sunday night. Oh, I want to hear this. We come home and I walk into my apartment, beautiful high rise.

Infinity pool, that type of thing. I walk in and I flip on the lights and they don't turn on. So I call the super. I say, hey, lights. aren't working uh everyone else's seems to be working the hall lights are on he says okay we got a guy coming it should be on in a few minutes and nobody came and i was just like all right well i'm just way too tired i'm just going to fall asleep anyway they haven't been on we're now at tuesday that was sunday they are not they are still not the power or the the lights the power is not in my apartment

got to be both so oh dude it's i'm over at a friend's house a friend's apartment right now it's I lugged all my stuff over here using their internet and lights, and thank you so much for that. But it's just like, can I just fucking get home, please? Yeah, dude, that's, after a trip where you're just like, I just want to be normal at home. Now you're going to have to, like, throw it all your food. Oh, yeah, that has to go.

Like, there was no, like, little cool left at all in my fridge. And the guys, the guys working on the electricity is, electricity are so funny. They're just like, I barely get. the guy on the phone and when I call him like okay Rubin you're coming over today right he's like yep yep I'll be there I'm totally gonna be there as I was coming over here he finally showed up it wasn't even him it was like his son his son's friend I was like all right don't worry I'm sending my son's friend over I was like the doors the doors open good luck in there but I have to

leave oh my god it's just like my everything's just being marched out of my home right now are you doing that thing when the power's out in your apartment and you're like, well, I guess I'll just watch TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, I'm just going to walk to this other room. Oh, there's no lights. I'll just turn on the, oh, no lights at all. You're like, oh, well, the lights are out.

I guess I'll just enjoy some light. No. I guess I'll just lay in my tanning bed. No. I've been going to the local coffee shop during the day and setting up shop and getting things done weirdly, more so than I would in my own home. Okay, Chandler.

Ooh, that's nice. that's Mike you know what you need to get you get yourself a nice candle get yourself a candle yeah put some flame on the top of it and then that'll be how you get around your place at night my whole neighborhood I can I'll just kind of uh shut down the whole neighborhood every single night it's a good idea I like handles and flashlights to get a little cozy in there yeah it's nice it says hey we talked about being cozy at the uh in the blowout this week didn't we oh it cozy maxing that's right folks listen to the blowout it's on the patron if I were you guys when I'm on tour and I and I have I play a show and I load all my shit in and then the next day I go oh this one I I just am a podcast I don't have to say I don't have to bring all this stuff in that would be great is that the best part you know what it's a mix because it's nice to not have to load in all the gear but then it's also like oh I gotta be like funny for 90 minutes right yeah you can't just say new stuff not just songs that uh perfected you got a gab like this

level of funny we're doing right now. It's hard to it's impossible to maintain. No, it is kind of crazy, though, just how much carrying and lifting being on tour is. I also think that we didn't become road dogs until about like last year, for

real. And I think that I pictured that the rock lifestyle, even in the lower tier of rock band, I thought that there would be more partying because I thought you go from the show to a or something like that, but the, the, seems like you would, seems like you would.

The idea that, like, if you want to party after your own show, there's simply no time. They thought you, you, it's, and you go back on stage and be breaking stuff down is humiliating. And then, and you're like, how, where do I, where do I do it, you know? And we always have people being like, hey, there's cool bar next door. And I'm like, well, you go have fun there. Yeah.

We get like one per stretch. Well, it's like, hold on. I have to, I have to break this down. I have to bring all the stuff back to the hotel so we can be the, there in like an hour and a half when everyone's gone. That's after merch, by the way. That's after about 45 minutes of merge. There's so many times of like going out to a bar, be like, all right, we're going

for a post show drink and it's like no one's like the bar's like closing down. You're like, okay, well, we'll do one bud light and get out of here. Yeah. I love also like going to a bar, going to bar with like a packed roller duffel and a giant backpack and like that sucks, you know. Oh yeah. I had, like, my guitar case at a restaurant recently, like, sorry. Squeezing through, like, the DJ dance night that's happening after you.

There is such a uniquely humiliating feeling to just be walking in public with a guitar case. You would think it would be cool, but no. It does not feel cool at all. You know what? The only people that comment at all are, like, old, old dudes at the airport will be like, Is that a Fender or Gibson? Oh, man. Yeah, I saw that.

What did I get a TSA recently with the guy asked me? So the guy, we're putting stuff in the bags. We're TSA pre, so we shouldn't have to deal with this shit. And this guy comes up and he's like, he said, um, Jimmy Page or Hendricks. He's like, page or Hendricks? Yeah, Hendricks or Paige. And you answered it like, you, you didn't blow off in the slightest. You fully jumped in.

No, no, I locked in with him. He and I were, we were starting a two piece. oh god perfect well what would you guys have said i i said in that moment i said hey look hendricks is a god hendricks is an icon but i probably have listened to more zeppelin in my day you know like when i was in the albums i probably spent more time with zeppelin how about you yeah i would agree with that as well uh probably exactly for the same yeah exactly you nailed it tim it's kind of funny like jimmy hendricks you're it's there's a weird thing like you kind of grow up thinking of him like it's too he's larger than life where like everyone is like telling you like

he's a god okay and i'm like okay yeah yeah and he rules but like it would be kind of if you guys saw me driving around my car and you heard me listening to purple haze it would be fun it's true well i'd like that i'd like to see well tim in the van in the van the other day you asked me and this isn't as weird to me but you were like i i put on um the beetles i put on uh revolve Oliver, I want to say. And you were like, Jeff, do you like, so you like listen to the Beatles in your day to day life. And I was like, yeah, why not? You're like, I don't know. It's just kind of weird. It's sort of like the first rock band, like kind of weird to put on the Beatles. And yeah, I guess like when you say Purple Hays, I'm like, yeah, that's putting on Purple Hays is like putting on the monster mash or something. Like it just feels like a novelty song. Sure, sure. Yeah. Well, there's something funny with Hendricks who are like, I think of him as a novelty sometimes. They'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to put Hendricks. John is just like, you know, a bunch of showboating. And then you see a clip of them or here. You're like, oh, yeah, right.

He is really good at this. This is good. But it's like technically really good, but flashy. But then you don't really feel like you want to jump into it all the time. People like him and Kurt, like, because they died young, we didn't get to see them. You just said Kurt? Kurt Cobain, yes. Jeff is such a grunger.

The people just know. I thought you guys were on track with me. I knew what you meant. I just didn't know you were so familiar with him. But since those dudes, I thought you were talking about Kirk Hammett from Metallica. Like, we didn't get to see them turn into like old, like, out of touch, unfashionable dudes, like, swearing in the young guns into the rock and roll Hall of Fame. Right. You know, like, I swear I saw somebody made like a Photoshop of like what Kurt would look like at an award show, like wearing a Kangol in like 2000.

And it's like, oh, yeah. they don't have to suffer that they're preserved perfectly at this like at this like peak of musicianship and like cultural impact what a funny time with like AI and stuff you you can make something like that and be like huh he probably would look like that now what he would probably be lame now other people are lame well everybody gets lame at some point what uh Chris what's in your like what would I be surprised uh to hear on your listening habits when you're when you're in your car are you are you putting on the Beatles i would not say i'm putting on the beetle i've gone on like i've been on tour and

we've done like let's listen all the Beatles albums type thing that's fun um uh what would surprise you i have a i am like always trying to force myself to listen to music and then and then i just find myself listening to a podcast, which is humiliating, honestly. Just because of how infrequently I actually listen to music. Yeah. No, I get that. I'm kind of, I've been in sort of an audible zone. I'm listening to like nonfiction books most of the time.

But I think what, Jeff, when I said the Beatles thing to you, I think it would have made sense. If we were, if you had said, guys, let's listen to Revolver. I'd be like, yeah, because that's like watching a movie and that's fun. but I was just like driving zoning out and I and Eleanor Rigby was on and it's just like I just don't need to Eleanor Rigby is a good song but like the idea of listening to it is weird and I'm like I'm the biggest like Springsteen guy but I also don't really like listen to Springsteen like when I was driving I put on a few like rarities and B sides for you guys but it would be pretty funny if I've just put on born to run it would be well the fun thing about having a long drive like that is like you don't have to be quite as choosy because you have to fill like five hours in a day. So it is nice that we as a group will listen to like stuff you wouldn't normally listen to or like you'd really give a band a chance, like a band that you don't like. You're listening to like three or four songs as

opposed to in my normal life, I give it 30 seconds. Yeah. We listen to a lot of Badfinger, like way too many badfinger songs before we're like, wait, I don't know any of these songs anymore. Badfinger, early smash mouth, which was not a hit with Tim. No, I don't know. That made me what Fushu Mang. Fushu Mang. That was one of the first records I owned as a boy. Me too. Me too.

Not a hit with me either, Jeff. Well, it was a hit with me because I found it when I was 14 or 13 or right. Yeah, I actually recently. But it's interesting. Like as a band, it's like interesting. Sorry, Chris, I keep cutting you off.

That's okay. I'm using headphones that are not my usual ones. That'll do it. How much is everyone before you talk about maybe like 10 seconds before you talk? Just say, I'm planning to talk. I recently went into and tried to listen to some stuff that I really liked when I was 14. So I listened to an album called Issues by Corn. Oh, boy.

I didn't like it. Boomlapa, Dbop themselves. I would assume that you were fully immersed in pop punk at 14, but corn. That's surprising. What drew you to it? I don't know. I was just, I was really like angry 12, like 12 year old, just pacing around in my garage, listening to corn. Like just like perfect life, nothing wrong with my life in any way. Just so pissed off in the garage, just listening to corn. Oh, the garage.

Man, issues though, that's like, to me that's like sort of latter day corn. Well, so I got in on the record before, Follow the Leader. Yeah. And then that was the first record that came out while I was a fan. Yeah, okay. So, like, there was, like, a year or two where I was just, like, I love core, and this is my personality. I'm 13 years old. And then issues came out, and it was the first time I ever experienced, like, looking forward to an album by a band.

Yeah. Because, like, I'm already in. I'm already in. and this is my band that's coming out with one. Yeah, and I was just really into new metal and then like hard switch to like bright eyes. Wow. And like all this Saddle Creek bands.

So I went like straight from from that to that. I didn't really have that much of a pop punk phase. Really? Interesting. Until like I was in my like 20s, I'd say. Mike, I'm going to talk in 10 seconds. What is, um, what, what is on issues, uh, like, what's the single from corn's falling away from me? Falling away from me.

It's, I think it's the, the video where they're in like a, oh, wait, no, that's freak on a leash. What is falling away from me's video? I don't know. How does that, can, how does that go? Falling away from me. Falling away from me. Something.

For me down here. And I think he goes, go. oh yeah he goes go and then there's an acoustic version i think of that song where he also it's acoustic but he also goes go it's cool that's pretty good the hard rock like like loud new metal bands and then when they have their ballot is always is is funny too where it's like if you get you're doing some drop-y riff rock rapy stuff and then

when you get to your point of career where you're like we want to have a big you know when Fred Durst gives us I'm on the outside yeah that's what I'm probably their biggest charting song probably because it's like that's stained that's yeah right that's stained fuck my life wait did Fred Durst sit down on stage at Woodstock 99 and sing it with stain

there you go it was not Woodstock 99 it was the family values tour I can't watch what I say around you because you're a student of music history That's right Real quick So I just have to say legally Because you mentioned Bruce Springsteen

I have mentioned In Bruce Springsteen's book His autobiography What the fuck? He's talking about going to an against me show Okay not me but my band My old band fake problems He's in the book

He's talking about going to an against me show Blah blah blah I don't know what the I never read the I never read the book I only read Yeah I remember this because his his son His son he's talking about how his son turned him on a new music Right And he said we went to see against me

And two fine bands opened the riverboat gamblers And fake problems And I mean that's amazing That's fucking sweet I'm certain he didn't You know this was like a decade later He didn't remember our band names, but just the fact that he would go out of his way

to find out who opened. What a G. And put it and like put our names in the book. That's pretty nice thing to do. In the Bruce Bruce Bernstein autobiography, he reserved space for two words that are referring to you in that book. Yeah. Think of all the people not mentioned.

Yeah. That's awesome. Jay Leno. I don't know. Poor guy. Is Clarence in there? I think Clarence comes up I would hope he

That would be wild if I mentioned I think there's like a chapter about how Clarence didn't make it out to the fake problems show I think he's mentioned but not by name He's subscribed He's alluded to Yeah Well do we get into some booze news

Fogh well hold on before that I got to say the most important news That transcends all news is that what we're celebrating here with Chris Farron on the show is the fact that Chris's band with Jeff Rosenstock, Antarctica Vaspucci, is going on tour. And, oh, I don't know, who do they have opening up for them on some SoCal dates, along with Guppy. They got the sloppy boys opening for them. Tonight, December 5th in San Diego at Chee Cafe, tomorrow in Los Angeles. December 6th at the lodge room

and then Fullerton December 7th at program this is this is a this is bigger than the family values tour this is big shit that's what they're saying this is going to be good this is going to be hot stuff and hopefully I mean I I

imagine well definitely the L.A. and the Fullerton show are sold out and I think the San Diego show has like 10 tickets left. Better snap them up Sloppeds snap up. That's you yeah damn wow it's gonna be great

it's gonna be so much fun it's been it's been like a dream of of Antarctica Vespucci's to take the sloppy voice on tour oh Chris you make us blush we've been talking about it for a long time that's so nice of you to say

I you guys rule and you know what's funniest then like I knew your music in there but when it was my brother that turned me onto the Vespucci stuff and I was like I know that guy and um you guys I just, like, because it's sort of like, how long has it been?

I feel like you played in L.A. this summer, but it kind of comes and goes and ebbs and flows when you guys have availability, right? Yeah, we haven't, we, the show we played a few months ago was the first show we played since before COVID, I think. Oh, shit. So it's like 20, at least 20, 19, probably 2018, if I had to guess. Oh, wow. Damn.

Okay. So this is a bit of a reunion. Okay, so, but that show, was that, was that a Scribble in Highland Park? Yeah. That show looked so fun. You guys, it looked like, like a room to be in. It was the hottest show I've ever played in my entire life. About like two songs in, I just thought to myself, I can't do this.

I literally am going to pass out from how, it was so hot. I don't know what the air conditioning situation is. Yeah, now it's scribbled, but hopefully it's been updated. Not good, Chris, not good. It's just crazy because like nine out of ten shows are too hot on stage, but if you have the thought, you actually can't do it, then Jesus Christ. Yeah, but then somehow it was, you know, 13 songs later and I was still alive. But yeah, anybody I've talked to that was at that show,

just the first thing they say was it was so hot. Was it summertime or was it just like, was it maybe good to get into like survival mode? it was summertime and was it good to be in survival mode I would have preferred it to be less hot oh okay yeah and to just be having fun not thinking about

surviving yeah you never know because Jerry Garcia said that he was motivated like if he did too much acid he would play for his life and he said that playing for my life is what made me play so good so I don't know sometimes that 200 degree stage is what makes me step up Okay, all right

Okay, okay But that's just me Was the stage a big frying pan With like a piece of butter floating around? That's not why I was hot though, you think? Yeah, it might be There's something there I'll go down there and I'll check it out

All right, now are we ready for some booze news? Bibibibib booze news hit it You know how these days Booz news is kind of like Frog Rock. No, yes, that's true. Yes, if your Genesis, Peter Gabriel. The E.L.O. guy.

Big Floyd. Phil Collins. Frank Zadam. The Rush. Steely Dam. Grateful Dead. Tom Petty, Dylan. Roy Orbison.

Jumbullamba. Red hot chili peppers. Pistols. Is that Prague rock? Are we calling that Prague rock? Some 41. We should have said some 41. It's Boo's News, you absolute like us.

Yes, yes. Boo's news is called now. It was sent to us by Nolan Potter's Nightmare Band. And if you have a Boo's News team email into the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com. Nolan Potter's Nightmare Band, I like that he, They had the foghorn at the end, but not a lot of people remember to put the seagulls in as well. Like, it stinks.

Ah, that's a big part of it. A lot of people forget that little detail. I forgot about that. I didn't realize that that's... That was good. I got to start listening more Prague Rock. It's really happening on those keys there, huh? Prague Rock.

It's all happening on those keys. I believe the reason what Nolan Potter was chopping from there, I think we were having a conversation I think we got into that because of King Giz. And it was Jeff Rosenstock who turned us on to King Giz. Chris, are you on the Lizard Wizard Wagon? I have been telling Jeff that I like them, yeah. I have liked everything he's shown me,

but I have not participated or sought it out if he's never around. If he's, if he's around, he's going to show it to me, and I can, I can hear it then. And I can do my own thing on my own time. Yeah, okay. It's a lot to tackle. It's quite a lot to tackle. We saw them live and it was like seeing, I don't know, six or eight different bands. Sure.

Yeah. Impressive in that way, but it was like, oh, their thing is they know everything. Didn't know any, so. I knew one song, I think. It was crazy. But fun. Everything he's shown me I've liked. and I was over there the other day

He's showing me videos I'm serious He's not he's always showing it to me So you've done your time So I don't need I literally don't need to do it I don't need to do it at all If I'm with him he's gonna do it to me And then I can that's enough for me

Is it one way or is there anything You're showing him or he's like He's going along with it while you're there And then he doesn't think about it I don't know I'll ask him tonight if there's anything that I bring to the table. Well, I think what's funny about them is he was telling us,

so I've only listened to, like I listened to the album he told us to, and then I've gotten other recommendations along the lines of Omnium Gatherum type stuff. But he had told us about how they had albums that were like microtones or like using like an Eastern scale or something like that. And we were like, oh, that's interesting. And then we did a podcast episode where we went and saw them at the bowl. and I remember at one point Jeff you say like oh there's

there's some wrong notes in the mix or whatever and people corrected you and said those are micro tones those are microtones Jeff micros okay yeah they should not do those Jeff that's your Western ear dude

yeah yeah yeah yeah you have to learn a new style of music for one of their albums Jeff we should throw in some micro tones I know I'm trying to Or as I call them, sour notes. I guess we do. I do a lot of those.

They have their own, they have like differently fretted guitars and everything to get those little freaky notes. Jesus Christ. Oh, wow. There was an exhibit in L.A. of like a guy who does, I don't know if he makes them or what, with keyboards that do that, like, you know, every keyboard you ever see has the same sort of ratio of white keys to black keys and their shape like that and in that order. This guy's got like weird different colors and different shaped keys.

there was an exhibit in LA who used to he had an MTV show and he would take your car and he would like fucking make it crazy I gotta see that

I gotta see that exhibit is that the same guy I need to see that exhibit might be the same exhibit oh Harry Parch Harry Parch have you heard of this guy

Harry Parch is that exhibit's real name Hey it's Harry Parch he's like I think I should change I made to change my name to exhibit. I gotta do something about that name, man.

Harry Part Jane Cutton. Did you do a Where Are They Now Show about, you know, checking in with all the Pimp My Ride people and see how those cars are holding up. Oh, yeah. They have, it's on YouTube and all of it, it was basically a scam. Really? No. Or not a scam, but it like fucked up, they just kind of like fucked up your car and made it look good for TV.

And then it just, I saw one. I came across one and the car. carpet was beautiful. The fish, the fish in the fish tank were thriving. They're huge. No, I remember a lot of it was sort of like, you said you liked bowling, so like we put a bowling alley in your trunk or like, not an alley, but like, you know, like one of those, like a thing to roll your balls on it. It's like, it was, it photographs well, but it's not really good automotive engineering. Yeah. I remember one, it was like, the girl was like, oh, yeah, I meditate. And they're like, okay, so open the trunk and,

there was like one of those, one of those like sand rake garden things. It's like, well, that'll all fall apart once the cars are not. Sure. Man. It's just like, who is stopping their car? I had, I once worked a job where,

one of my first jobs out here, and my direct boss, um, she was going to sell her house, but before they did it, her producer friend from another show worked on a home makeover show. And the homemaker of a show was looking for a house to, you know, pimp my house, do a little renovation. And so a little backdoor deal, my boss gets like a new kitchen nook, a new kitchen refurb so that they can like sell the house for more money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Add value to the house. I was like, man, Hollywood's so fake. This wasn't a real contestant. This was like a backdoor. you scratch my back, I scratch yours deal. This is so phony. I'm going to tell Rachel's Senate all about this.

And that's why she wrote that episode. Hollywood's fake, folks. Wow. According to Jeff, you're hearing it here first from Jeff. Well, speaking of Hollywood and things that are fake, here's today's booze news, which is we're going to be getting into a non-alcoholic drink today. I would want to talk about this news phenomenon

that's been coming across my desk is the celeb non-alcoholic beer boom. Have you guys seen celebrities? We've been a few years into there you go. Tom Holland,

the man himself. Swift, swift, swift, swift, swift. Is this shooting webs actually there for real shooting out of his hands? Thwit, twit, twit, twit, twit, twit, twit. So this is the first one I was going to bring it up. Bureau. Have you tried

beero from Tom Holland? I have. It was fine. Now, their claim, their thing is this is a beer, just announced is that there's a new partnership with Aston Martin. So they're really making this

like trying to go in for the luxury brand. Sure. Okay. Which is funny with a car company because you'd be like, oh, maybe it's like designated driver type stuff. That's the first beer that can it's the first beer that can do this time yeah i mean it's true yeah no car company has ever been allowed but um their thing is like we're it's uh luxury and they're saying like bureau

is is it's it's not about restraint we're not selling restraint or leaving out alcohol or anything like that in and of itself they're saying we're selling craftsmanship taste this is a high-end product and that's that's what they claim so when you've had bureau does it it tastes like the other ones, or do you say like, hey, there's, this, this, the craftsmanship. You weren't wowed by the craftsmanship, Cruz? The can is fancy. I was just kind of like, oh, yeah, okay, it's, yeah, it tastes like another non-alcoholic beer. No, no, Chris, it's the beer that needs to go thwip. I don't know, flip, flip, flip, I did start going thwit, thwit, flip, flip. It is spelled B-E-R-O, which makes me wonder, it's like,

but is it also hero? Oh, I, that's what I was sort of thinking is hero. I think it's, I think it hero because of the thwip-thwhip situation because of thwhip because of flip man now wait a minute how about this ashton martin is what uh james bond drives i got a feeling he's making the play to be the next james bond and and he's been rumored he's been rumored mike you just this you just cracked this episode is going to be viral now well it's it's always good having a car guy around for these types of situations. And that's you? You're the car guy?

I'm the car guy. I know Aston Martin. And we saw. Exactly. Now, Mike, what's a like getting behind the wheel of the van on tour when you're a New Yorker? You don't own a car. But when you're out in the Midwest with your boys, you're burning down that

interstate. It's, I hate it. I hate driving. I, what I like about New York is that I don't have to drive. So when I get behind the, wheel. I go, oh. I heard you were, you were trying to flip your, your metro card in the, in the door of the van. The weird thing is it worked. One thing, one time it was, Jeff was standing in front of me. He's like, that's not the swiper, buddy. Yo! I swiped his ass cheeks. I love driving the van when we're

out on, uh, I 70, but I hate, I hate loading in, like, when it's like, oh, you got to park in some weird alley and you're driving a van. That's awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In those situations, you have to just kind of be like, well, I'm probably going to miss the turn or the light and we're going to be going to be around the block, maybe another time. We're doing a lot. You just know it's going to happen.

Get to know the neighborhood. Yeah, I don't have a van, but I would say I frequently, it depends. When I'm doing like a solo tour with me and a drummer, I can usually get away with getting like a

premium luxury SUV as they call it on price line. Like an escalate? What are we talking? No, just like a bigger just like a big SUV. Okay. Or a minivan. I prefer a minivan for touring. That's usually because

the seats all go down in the back and you can just really cram your stuff back there. Oh yeah. Okay. But yeah, I've done many, many tours in vans. and I like it. We met a group on the road a while ago and they all had a sprinter van

that they owned and, you know, it's like the bubble top. They didn't all have a sprinter van. They were all in one springer man. Right, okay, yeah. It wasn't a fleet of sprinter vans. They each had a sprinter van. But they're like this big old sprinter van

with the bubble top pops up and they're like this band piles out and I got to peek inside it. And it looked crazy. Like there's just everything everywhere. There's people, people's personal belongings and clothes and like a drum set and keyboards and merch. And it was probably three,

four people. But I like seeing how bands, especially bands further along than we are, bigger than we are, how they prefer to travel and like, yeah. Have you ever done like the bus thing? Like I've done a few tours where I was like an opener and I was on the bus with

the headliner. sick that's the best so when you do that there's there's no hotel right it's like you're sleeping as you drive to the next city oh wow yeah sometimes like i'd say like once a week there's probably a hotel in there yeah but most of the time you're just yeah on the bus yeah yeah i feel like i i sleep the best in my life i've ever slept has been on a on a tour bus really wow because it's just like pitch black you got your little curtain your little coffin it kind of I've been on a like a sleeper car on a train

and it's just kind of like shakes just enough to like put you to sleep each time I like it totally I'm with you I live with you on that yeah you know our recent tour innovation that we've been doing is well as far as drums go we fly out to where we're starting the tour

we buy a drum kit used off a Facebook marketplace then we use it for like 10 cities and then we're flying back to LA ditch the kit either sell it or donate it or something and then we're just buying we're buying cheap kids left and right

it's great nice collectors in a way kit collectors that could be a reality show the kit collectors are here kit flippers flippers kid kit collectors

okay and then the other celeb brand I want to talk about was I don't know if you said these they had some funny commercials but John Mullaney became a business partner with years Y-E-A-R-S years non-alcoholic beer

whole different vibe than beer Years is like it looks like a Midwest kind of It's like a retro can They sell it at Wrigley Field And this is this is a little more like Crack a can of the Drinking Man's beer We got joky commercials

And And it's like kind of like 80 It looks like a PBR kind of a vibe Years beer and yeah He's a part owner of the company I believe years of beer oh wow as somebody who doesn't drink beer uh i or doesn't drink alcohol beer alcohol someone who doesn't drink alcohol um right right i find myself more interested in the beers that are like the like like the like the bush n a's and like the like autumn of the

barrel like water like yeah like give me something that tastes as close to like a bud light as possible is normally what I'm after yeah yeah I want a fake beer by people who've made a beer before not not some like first timer right yeah it also feels like you're not going to create the experience of like a craft micro brew IPA or something but like a a crushable bush light maybe you could recreate that yeah I love it Chris I've seen you at pool parties our buddies drew and Tony crushing beers. That's right. Fake beers. In a hot tub, you're going to want... I don't call it fake beer.

In a hot tub, you're going to want to drink six cold beers. It's hot there. It's beautiful, yeah. Well, when I first stopped drinking, I would get odules at bars because I had to still go to bars, of course. And I would just scratch the label off. So, like, the last thing you want, even if you're like, you know, taking a break from drinking, you don't want people that.

talk to you about it. You know, you just want to be like, I just want to get in and get out, just do this, you know, under the radar. So that was my, and that was like, O'Dul's was like all there was for like, until like, fucking three years ago, basically. Isn't that crazy?

At the satellite, they had the most disgusting non-alcoholic beer called Kill Wins or Kill Kelgers. It was like, Guinness made it and it was unbelievably disgusting. you know that liquid death that liquid death uh canned water is supposed to look like like a 16 ounce kind of cool beer can for people just kind of be like the same reason not to like trick

people just be like i don't want to talk about it i don't need i just want to talk about it i just want to shut up for one night don't talk to me yeah um well well that's this makes me want to leave right into the drink of the day but jeff you need to wrap up booze news oh sure i can do that real quickly boy quickly that's it for booze news or doyle rules well now we turn our attention to the drink of the day Tim what do we got here

okay wow the drink of the day is none of than St. Agrestis phony negroni you've had I've not had Not had. Michael, have you had? I've had.

Chris, you're nodding. You've had. Yes, Chris, when we talked about you coming on the show, you said, booge, phony, and then I said, okay, I'm probably going to have to go with some weird ass specialty shop to find this thing. And no, you said, hey, dude, fucking Target, dude. And I wasn't able to go and get it. And I was surprised because it does look like such a specialty product. but I looked up a little history here.

I mean, look, anyone who, any listeners of our podcast, unless someone's been living under a rock, you've listened to our Nogroni episode. You know that Nogronis were invented in Florence 100 years ago when Count Nogroni wanted an Americana with some gin in it instead of soda. And then it became this cafe society afternoon, aperitiva. We love so much. But if you flash forward, you know this, folks.

Yeah, I'm boring you. But if you flash forward a century later to Brooklyn, the Catozoni brothers team up with their friend, Stephen DeAngelo. And they're in Brooklyn. So they say, hey, we're Brooklyn hipsters. And we're going to do a little artisan thing. They make these little glass bottle. Hey, I probably know the guys.

They were doing Amaro and Aparato's first, like alcoholic in those little glass bottles. And I feel like I'd seen them around. But then when they introduced their phony negress. That's what blew up big and that's what landed them in Target and into the heart of Chris Farron. So what was your history with this drink? Chris, how'd you come upon it? And what in what type of situation are you drinking these? I'm trying to think of it must have been my wife must have shown it to me because my wife and I, we like to go like to the Capri Club on the street over here.

And I think I probably got it for the first time there or a place like that. that that's an Italian apparitivo bar like this is what they do is red drinks like this yeah and I you know I like going to places like that and like sitting outside with friends or my wife or somebody my wife is not my friend but yeah yeah that that's like something that sometimes I'll miss about like drinking in general is just like you know just that post it up holding court nice yeah posting up and just having like a nice drink that kind of tastes like kind of bad but you like it for some reason yeah i'm looking forward to this yeah um yeah i mean i'm excited because uh i like i think

i struggle with a lot of like non-alcoholic things they're taking big swings but like these apricate like there are bitter italian sodas that kind of taste like compari already that i love so this this feels like uh uh i have not tasted this but this this feels like an attainable goal that these Catizoni brothers sure and I could I could be totally like off base like my wife is vegan

and sometimes she'll like eat something that's supposed to taste like me and I say like wow it really tastes like me and then I'll eat I'm like this tastes like fucking shit oh my god so you know it could be one of those situations where I haven't had alcohol in so long that like this thing that kind of like gives me that little feeling could

just be like a bad thing but we'll find out we'll find out well that's always that's kind of the tough thing with with fake alcohol is like or what do you call this a non-alcoholic drink it's like is it going to try to replicate the

burn feeling of a alcohol or is it like gonna replicate the other stuff of the Nogroni it's a curiosity but yeah it does it's you're right Chris you need something that pushes back

because a soft drink you can't you'll just if you just had a diet Coke you suck it down and then what are you doing soda yeah it's yeah but you need something to the drink that bites back you need a pin out So I'm going to stop you. Stop you short.

Yeah. Are we doing anything to these other than just opening them or are we doing limes or anything? Straight from the bottle. Do we pour it out on ice? Let's take it straight from the bottle. Straight from the bottle. Yeah. To the dome.

To the dome. Folks, we're going to grab these phony ngronies. We'll be right back with more sloppy boys after this. He-hee. Woo-hoo. He-hee. We have on the bear! We have on a beer!

Let me make this perfect thing Fucking Now And we're back Phony Nogroni's in hand Let's see him Beautiful bottle Here we go

Looking like a lot of lamp Yeah Very well designed And it's not twist off So you know They're not trying to just be crowd pleasers You know Speaking of a

Yeah like Giving you some resistance You have to get a bottle opener To drink this fucker It's filled to the top top top here too yeah really is holy shit yeah it's interesting it comes in these kind of pyramid shapes

also what drink comes in a two pack I've never seen that before I know and I weirdly I grabbed four of like two two packs just because they were like looks like they were together and I was like oh yeah these look like four packs I fucking bought two extras I don't need I mean I could love them I could love if you if you like it you're lucky okay first sips Now, the smell is, that's, that smells like Campari.

Yeah, for sure. Convincing. Quake. Oh, yeah. Bottoms up. Well. Oh. Yeah, baby.

I'm getting it. That really does taste. It tastes like it. It's ashy as can be like a real nagroni. Yeah. It's funny because it's like, we don't even know. With those like red Italian apperatifs, I don't even know what the flare

I think the Kampari is made from like rhubarb or something or like what do they make apparel and Kampari It's like sticks and twigs Orange rind and sticks So it's funny to recreate that taste When I don't even really know what it is to begin with But it is

They sort of gather stuff from the forest floor And then put it into that Um It's funny like what's missing is maybe Just that gin sting but it does have like the bitter herbal sting. Yeah, for sure. You know what it's like is the,

bitter herb. Hey, before Count Negroni added the gin, people were just drinking americanos which were Campari, vermouth, and soda carbonated like this. So this is, it's very, very accurate Americano.

Yeah. It feels like, it feels like the, the, the soda pop version of a negroni, like very lightly, but just like a little bit and I'm chugging it down here. I'm almost done.

Yeah, I'm fucking chugging it. What were you saying, Chris? I was just going to say another thing I feel like I'm like really painting a picture of my past with all my, when I used to drink type things I keep saying, but when I used to drink, I used to like

drinking scotch. Wow. Not that this tastes like scotch, but it does have like Good on your laddie. The fruitiness of it, just like that kind of, you know, the bite or whatever, the bitterness kind of reminds me. That smoky kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. If I think about that kind of peedy smoky thing on my breath, I'm getting a little bit. So when you did drink, were negronies in the rotation at all? No. No, no. I mean, I haven't drank in probably like 12 years. So is it possible that you never have had a alcoholic negroni? Oh, it's, it's, it's almost a certainty.

Well, that's amazing. So I get it though. It's like this, this, it's like bitter and, you know, gives you some resistance to have the cocktail feeling. But it's for you, you're not encumbered by the picturing of the Nogroni thing. You're just saying, that's a nice slow sipper. I can't remember, did, I don't think Nogronis did all that well on this show, did it? no you you two both did not like it i was the only one liked it then we redid it in uh live in portland and the crowd didn't like them in portland right how did you arrive at scotch because i also

here here i am assuming that you're a hop punk kid turns out you're a corn kid turned uh bright ice kid ohma scotch drinker yeah i was like an indie indie rock kid or like but then i was kind of like a folk punk kid i don't okay so i guess i could see i could see the bridge from bright eyes to scotch uh there's there's the it's that's sort of uh intellectual are we talking like doers like like nasty no like mick mccle blah blah what is it mclair like mc what's the scotch mc mc something yeah mcdonalds i can't be right yeah not is it mcdonalds mcallon wait mcarnigarnigle uh-huh yeah yeah Macallin. That would be the scotch that I would want.

There's a lot of mix in the scotch world. Oh! I didn't mean it like the slur. And if I did, it's okay. I also like offending an Irish guy and goes, oh! I like not that Mick is actually a slur, but I like the idea of saying a slur and be like, not like the slur.

Not like the slur I often use on the whole lot. Jeff, I feel like you had a scotch phase. I feel like anytime someone's drinking a scotch, I say, well, sir. I did a little Johnny Walker Black around the time of birthday boys, but that's like a blended scotch whiskey. I was really turned off when Randall, our buddy, had a doer's phase in like essentially senior year or like college. He kept it in the freezer.

It looked like piss. And it was like the stankiest scotch. it was like the just the most keyy band-aity scotch I hated it because I was still a Bud Light guy There is like an age

There is like an age of person Who's like who's doing Scotch and you're like You're doing this You don't like this But you're doing Performatively Yeah and a senior in college

feels like that I think that's how I started I think that's how I started Oh really It's funny because that is That pipeline though A lot of what you're choosing to drink as a young person is just is image and like because you don't really come out of the

womb liking the taste of alcohol you're kind of liking the buzz so it is there's a there's like a barrier to entry for all of them so then you kind of just choose the one that you think is worth acquiring a taste for and look yeah that barrier's still there when you're 40 let's be honest that's a weird taste so it's with any of these you're you're trying it on you're seeing am i a Scotch guy. You know, like, when I first tried Fernette, I didn't like it, but I came to like it. I remember we had to get Arg Bar, Arg bag for something for one of the drinks we made. Ardbag, yeah, that's another gross.

And I was like, I drank the rest of that, like, as just Scotch and the Rocks. And I got used to it and, like, enjoyed it by the end. But I haven't gotten another Argue bag since. Hey, what about, uh, what, did you guys remember the drink Moxie? It's a soda. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's supposed to be like,

you know, no alcohol involved. That's supposed to be like a bitter or challenging soda, right? Oh, is it? I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I think so. Oh, really? Well, Moxie refers to like, you got Moxie to drink this one because it's kind of crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. You got Moxie. Or have you ever go to, like, the world of Coke? You've been to the world of Coke down in Atlanta. Oh, absolutely. Or tried the, um, just the, the international sodas that the Coca-Cola company has to offer. I bet you, oh, there's something that's tastes a little like this because they do a lot of that European tongue.

They're trying to get the weird bitter ones and the weird... There's some of crazy Italian disgusting soda that I love. Oh, I forget what it's called. That's bad for a podcast. But yeah, like there's a lot of clove sodas and stuff where you're like, oh, I would drink this.

There's one that I love that's bitter, it's dark, it's called Chinoto or something like that. And that's real good. It's a stanky soda. It's the soda that stinks. Yeah, that might be what talking about actually it's good and it's challenging this is really uh something like it really tastes like the the the phony and groni here really tastes like a ngroni in a way that like when

i've had i got fake gin for my parents for because they like gin and tonics and that was like is it seed lip uh no but it came from the same place i got this is a store in brooklyn that does um just not alcoholic stuff but it like had more of like a piney taste like it went in that junipery direction more than like because I guess you can't really recreate alcohol burn as much so and gin is such a specific kind of like tough one sometimes for people oh yeah so it's a tough one to recreate but this is really good you guys remember sparks oh do I ever remember sparks yeah I had a lot of time with sparks was sparks like a like a boozy energy drink like a four loco it was like a proto for loco it was like yes

Like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like five years before for Loco, it was sparks. It was like silver and neon looking stuff. It was like silver with a, with like an orange sort of cap look on it. It looked like a battery. It looked like a Dura cell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I used to do those in college, yeah.

It had a plus on it, right? Like in the logo. Yeah, because it had like the positive and negative end of the can. I remember that. Because it was a battery, Mike, a battery. Because you could use it as a battery. If you put it up your butt, it would power you. You could also use it.

has a battery. Wait, so I don't think I've ever seen one of those in real life, but I read about that it was, I think that that's one of those you know Spuds McKenzie, the Bud Light Dog was discontinued because it was like the appealing to kids. Yeah, they said it was

the government said it was like for kids. I think that Sparks, they advertise it as like, it's like a slim can you could put in your purse and like for like high school girls like slide it in your little kids love batteries. they love charging up those RC cars you know those toys you love

well they wouldn't be much without the batteries you know teenagers love a nice C battery beautiful this delicious it's good right okay good good good good yeah Chris those those sparks were like so dangerous I remember walking you know off campus and getting they came in like four packs

I want to say. Yeah. And it was just, it cranks you up. It's like a speedball. It's like a four loco. And I probably had some of my most dangerous, treacherous nights on a spark.

Yeah, me too. Absolutely. Yeah. Ugh. Also, like, tastes like sweet tarts. Yeah. Yeah. I think it reminded me of it because the sweetness of this,

kind of the after sweet taste of this kind of reminded me of sparks. Mm-hmm. Of like, or of the feeling you have when you have, like, sparks still in you the next morning. Coursing through your veins. Yeah. I'm nearing the end of my first one. I'm already liking that it's sweeter than a real, than a Nogroni proper. But I do sort of wonder, could I have more than one of, like, if I have a whole second, another one,

am I going to be a little sick of it? I would think you wouldn't want to drink two in a row. But they come in two packs, Chris. Yeah, well... To share with a friend. And it says serving size two bottles. Yeah, that's true. I probably get two while I'm out.

Yeah, if you're out for 14, 15 hours at a bar, you probably make a way through two of these. Exactly. I found this stuff that other than Chinoto, this is reminding me of, these little guys like this is called gusto and these are really small like like four ounce bottles that i get these at like there's a uh italian deli in new york that i like that has these and it's they're basically doing that and it's like this is always existed it's probably why it's good is that this

flavor has always existed as just like a good thing to drink so they didn't really have to like they didn't really have to go in the lab too much on this one and like fake something you know didn't have to go in the lab with a pen and a pad You know what I might do for my next round? Because I was coming into this podcast to say, boy, I could really use a drink today. But we got a phony-negrony happening. So I might add gin to a phony-negroni and see,

just kind of see what happened. So you're talking about a hard phony-nogony-nogroney. Wow. Spiked phony-n-n-n-n-money-n-n-money. Phony-no-money-no-morny. Phony-no-morty. No morning agorny. I might do some ice for round two.

Just kind of put that thing on ice. And I don't know if I finish it, but I'm going to crack it and see what happens. You'll start it. Wait, as far as finishing it, though, I'm looking and I'm seeing only 44 calories. Oh, no way, it's two servings per bottle. So 88 cows, there's nothing.

You could have two of these and still be fit as a fiddle. Nothing wrong with this? Yeah. Nice. Well, shall we do it? I love it. Let's do it. Yeah.

Folks, we'll be right back with round two and our final thoughts on the phony-ne-negroni after this. And we're back. Round two. I sound like Ruffie, yeah, we like money. We're back. Round two. I sound like RFK Jr. there for a second. With the phony Nogroni I got it on ice It looks good They look beautiful

I went Hanford style And I goased it up With some gin You guys notice anything About my ice cube I don't see it It's round I can't tell

It's huge It's clear like glass Thanks to ice made clear One of our favorite New sponsors Ooh That's fun Now that's good Jeff

Because I remember You used to have a bit of a sort of anger issues because your your ice wasn't clear Tim, why you have to let you know? See?

You see what to go with Chris? You can see this fucking guy? Wow. How does it make the ice clear? It's an oxygen issue. It's a whole proprietary process, Chris. I can't get in it on par. And no offense, but you

couldn't possibly comprehend. We don't have enough data. We don't have enough RAM on these computers to have the data to tell you, Chris. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I haven't gotten my see-through things yet. I think I missed them.

I was out of town and they got sent back. My neighbor has mine. You'll get them. You'll get them. There was no ice here, but I did manage to get some gin going. Okay. And I like.

Tell us if it turned it just right back into a negroni. No, you barely taste the gin. The way I did. It's great. Wow. And even just the phoning to growing on the rocks, it's funny,

I'm conflicting because in general, I'm a pour it out on the rocks type of a guy with any drink. And if we're talking about like being out of a bar at night and stuff, it's like that looks like a fun thing to be drinking. But they've already gone through the trouble of making this this cool, as they call it, long-lamp shaped bottle. So it's,

I could go either way. It's not to sound like cat and a hat, but, you know, it's good in a bottle. It's good in a bottle. I guess it don't sound like a cat and the hat. Cat in the hat would have landed that plane. Yeah. But I said I didn't want to sound like him, so I'm happy. That's true. Yeah.

We're glad you didn't. These look like a wine cooler. Like these remind me a wine cooler's back in the like 90s or something. You're right. The Bartles and James. Azeema. Well, even just. like something that did like,

ooh, the glass is a different shape. It was Zima different shape? I can't remember what those looked like. Yeah. I think so. Zima was kind of like, I feel like it was sort of like ridged. For her pleasure?

Thank you. I don't want to go into it. Look, I'm more of a cat and hat kind of a bunch of. Speaking of Zima, though, Tim, remember when you, we were at an Airbnb on the tour and you got iced. You remember this?

oh yeah that's funny I forgot about that and that really was what it was right like you know we checked through this Airbnb in Minneapolis and in my bedroom

there was one of these old desks that like it's like closed up and you pull down the front of the desk like it's all like a hit like roll top

yeah roll top desk type things and when I I opened it a bottle of Smyrinoff ice was in there and it rolled, like, at me.

Like, I had to read, like, reach and grab it. It was like, booby-trapped. And you're right. I should message the host and be like, is, were you, are you doing, are you a friend boy? Is this a joke? Did I get iced? That's great. I love that.

Like, probably the people before you stay there, not the owners. Could be a funny host, though. You don't know. A funny host, like Bob Sagitt. Maybe it was another kind of comedy party rock band that had stayed there that was also playing the same venue as us. Ooh, maybe it was Led Zepplin. Did you take it?

Did you immediately take a knee and, uh, Yeah, I took a knee and I chuggy because I figured there were cameras there and they're watching me and I was have to be held accountable. It's like, it's like a real like, what would you do type reality? And I felt like my character. You don't have to follow the rules, but you still follow them. My integrity was on the line, my ethics. And I feel like that's the, I live my life by a certain code as a party rock.

Party rocker, cool. Yeah. It was kind of weird because Tim, you were already like, you like love that desk and you were like, oh God, this is a beautiful desk. I just love this desk. I want to marry this desk. And you were down on a knee any way to repose.

Right. You opened the thing out of it. Yeah. And the bottle went thunk into my mouth. So it was already odd. The whole situation was already a little odd. That sounds like a weird tour. Yeah.

It sucked. Yeah. It was a weird tour, a weird time. Well, just the one stop. Just the one stop was. Any second thoughts, Chris?

Chris, I got to tell you, you mentioned that you and Jeff have been wanting to make this happen. I have the sloppy boys open for you. I don't think you realize the significance to you're thinking, hey, put together a fun bill. Maybe it'll be a fun couple of shows. To us, what this represents is we have been stuck in this uncanny valley, but we're comedy guys, we're comedians, but we started this band. But we take the band seriously. We're rock dudes, you know. people are, hey, what are you

podcasters? What do your comedy? What do is your music super? We've taken this. Your invitation for us to open for you. We've decided that it's our exit from the comedy world. Good riddance. And we're not going to talk to our old comedy friends.

Yeah. We're not joking around anymore. No, we're not joking around. The songs are sure, the songs are a little funny. Hey, if there, if you find them funny, that's great. If you left, that's fine. That's on you. That happens. Right. Anything that happens between the walls of your skull, that's fine, if that's funny to you.

But we're done with comedy. I'm not talking to Mookiee Blakelock anymore. No, no, no, no. Don't need to. I'm talking to Mookie Van Halen from now on. Next time I am walking down the street in Los Phila's and I see Will Hines, he's getting snubbed. Oh. Okay?

I swear to God. Then if I cross the street and I see, um, Will Smith. Joe Walsh I'm going to Joe Wals first musician

you're going to go in for a program that's me being I'm a serious musician now I'm a serious musician now nobody is it's funny I like that fine line

of like the idea being like there's musicians who are funny and then there's comedy guys who play music but to us is very important to that no one can ever once we play on this bill

between Gupi and Antarctica of Spooey no one can ever convince us ever again of just being some comedy guys no yeah you're legit yeah is that worth our DIY ethos has been vindicated and recognized you know like for for a lot of musicians i'm happy to have that power doing it yourself like you had other options you chose to do it yourself for us it was the only path we had to do it ourselves there were no interested parties I'm so DIY that I think Chris is a sellout

for taking you on tour Can you believe this guy took me on tour? He's sold out And now he wants to pay us to no Oh Yeah, hell yeah Well, it's going to be awesome It's going to be great and it's a trio of SoCal shows

I understand we're taking a surfboard between the venues. That'll be good for us. We're surfing on the coast, yeah. Yeah, we're surfing up the coast. So we pray we catch a wave. Otherwise, we're stuck in San Diego. It's all relying on that. It's one big surfboard.

Going in the right direction, that'll be tough. One big surfboard with all the equipment on it. Have you all ever opened for, how should I say? I guess a real, not a real. No, we have, we have not done anything legitimate. We know exactly what you mean, no. No, and we've thought a lot about it. I also was like, I want to, we want to be good opener.

So we want to warm up that crowd. And we want to be, we want to be a night to remember, three nights to remember. Three nights to remember. That's what we should have called the tour. Well, two, two out of three would be fine. We'd be fine with two nights to remember one okay night. That's fine to you. And one night, one forgettable evening.

I guess after the third night, we'll make the announcement, which of the nights was the forgettable one? Sure, sure. We're like to Los Angeles, forget that one. I can't wait to see how we're received, you know? Yeah. Think about that. I think you'll be, it'll be received well, I think.

Nice. They might say we're too silly. I don't anticipate this audience being like, hey, wait a bit, we can't, open our brains a tiny bit for some humor. I think this is going to be a crowd. Yeah. Hopefully.

In your opening days, like when you were on the big tour bus opening for, who was the headliner when you said you were over? The main one that I've spent the most time in a bus with would be the gaslight anthem. Oh, cool. Awesome. Oh, yeah. They're friends with Springsteen, too. Yeah.

Jeez, you can't get away from the guy. I feel like, so when you've been in that, have you, ever had any opening experiences where it's where that went poorly or like the crowd's just not there you have to keep the energy jump and people are just walking in the door oh my god so much especially when i first started doing solo stuff so my old band broke up and then i just i just like went straight into solo touring and i was i was just trying to figure out what i wanted to do so i was just immediately was just doing acoustic just like playing songs my song songs.

And I had some pretty rough shows acoustically, which I'm grateful for because, like, playing acoustic with nothing else, it just really made me focus on becoming better at talking in between songs. But there was, there was the one that stands out the most to me is I opened for, I was on tour with a guy named Rock. he bought a lotto um nice guy um a boxer and uh he was a boxer he just fought people every night um uh and i played my first song and there was you know there's like it was i was like first of three so it was early on in the show i played my first song everybody's kind of like at the bar kind of just like talking and i start playing my first song you know every like 95% of the time you start playing people like maybe at least turn towards you or like or best case in area they like gather in the show area and watch you um i've played my first song nobody turned

around i ended the song nobody even clapped it was so it was like oh that's rough and then i kind and then i kind of just like powered through the rest of my set kind of like you know like just get this over with. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's got to be good, though, because, like, when you're thinking, like, well, what's the worst that could happen? And then it does happen. You're like, well, I lived.

Like, everything's fine. Yeah, totally. Yeah, absolutely. It is weird, like, yeah, the, for us, too, like, bombing as helps thicken your skin. But it is, I think it's funny that after all these years, it's still, I'm still not, like, impervious.

And, like, a bad show does still, uh, yeah, yeah. Rattle me. Oh, I. remember this is a different vibe but maybe one of our worst experiences is at the very at the satellite we were just talking about one time we uh Josh Fatim and Johnny Pemberton had a comedy show and they asked us to be like to play some songs and the thing with the sloppy boys was I think that like you know like we're kind of doing this party guy thing and like look we we

do part we are like we're drinking and stuff but I think that there's like a little wink to that we're not we're doing a little bit of a character thing on stage but of course we went out to start we started playing a show to a crowd that didn't notice and right away a girl screamed out that we looked like rapists because we were kind of she we

because we were like dressed like frat boys kind of like cartoonish frat boys and it was just like you guys look like rapist and we were like it like all of us we were like we do we're like I remember that it's hard to come back from that but you can turn a blind ear to a lot of cat

calls, not something like that. That was fucking crazy. And you can't, like, there's like hecklers that you could make fun of, but I, like, a lady calling me a rapist. I'm just like, sorry, ma'am. Luckily, Johnny and Josh, like, like, addressed it pretty immediately. They were like, no, that's not the thing. I mean, it, it wasn't as bad as like, it's just a bit or something like that, but it was just sort of like. They're like, we like them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's rough, though. But it does make you think about how you present yourself that it's like not everyone is going to have all the context of your winky little thing that you've

been culted right right oh my yeah i i i had a situation where i so you know my my solo sets i'm kind of like playing a some sort of character version of myself where i'm just very confident and very much like seeing me play is the best thing that's ever happened in everybody right um and i remember i was i was doing a show in michigan and and i was was, like, rolling around on the floor and some woman was like, like, as I was rolling on the floor, she was going, you think you're

so fucking special. What the fuck? You're so full of yourself. Fuck. You think this is a perfect set. Yeah, it was very much like taking everything I had been saying at face value.

It was, you know, it was odd. Yeah. Some people just aren't meant to take in art. That's right. that's that's my big takeaway too yeah that's what as you were rolling in the floor you were just shaking your head poor lady she doesn't get art she doesn't she doesn't get art if you girls before swine if you don't understand this exact bit i'm doing right now art is not for you exactly sorry lady

yeah i also i had a thing where i i i was on tour um the night that trump was elected played a show and it was when I was it was when I was pretty new to like doing the the tracks and the visuals and the kind of character more uh mode and I I couldn't figure out how to do it that night I was like you could just like feel how like bummed everybody was I think I would do it fine now but I think everybody was just so like what the fuck yeah that was a weird day and day after yeah and like we don't have to get into everyone's politics here on the show, but I would just want to say I voted for Hillary that day. Beautiful.

I didn't vote for that day. I did it the week before, actually. I did it. I did it the week after, and I didn't hear anything about it. About your vote particularly. Well, what do we think? Let's do our final thoughts on this phony to groaning, eh? Kick us off, Mike.

I say order again. Man, it's, it's, it tastes just like it. I think it's, I think it's a good, a very good facsimile. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, I would say as far as like the taste likey type, like I tend to, like when we're talking about vegan food, I tend to be like, look, I love vegetables and I'll eat a dinner of vegetables. But if you try to trick me with some cashew cheese, like I just don't really love going along with that game. Right.

I'm the same way. And, and so like, then there's one, if I'm not drinking, I'm not. not drinking. And I usually don't really go reach for the NAs, but I, but I do think that this is delicious. For me, it's an order again. If I were to ding it in any way, it would be the complaint

I have with every like mocktail type thing is the price. I think these two packs were $9.99 each. So that's pretty expensive bottle of soda to buy. Sure. Like at Target. But I'm fairly regularly having

like a cocktail that's $17. So that's not bad at all. Yeah, right, right. And you can buy these at a bar, is that right? I'm almost positive. I think the first time I ever had it was at a bar. Capri Club, yeah. That's pretty good.

So if you're out having, if you're out having, you know, 15 plus dollar cocktails and you switch it up. You do a little $5 phone in a Groney. That's good for you. It's good for the wallet, folks. You got to try it. I maybe, I don't want to say I maybe prefer it to the Ngroni, but like, I don't remember,

liking the negroni and I you didn't I liked this on first sip so maybe I am taste wise I mean I wish it got me fucked up I do wish it got me fucked up but me too yeah taste wise I would rather drink this than a no grony Chris final thoughts I love it I still love it you know I came very vulnerable for me to do this and and bring this drink to you and I'm glad everybody seems to be okay with it. We are down man. Did you have a fear? There was a

fear that the sloppy boys would dump it out and heckle you. Yeah, of course. There's always that. I would say also like speaking about like how non-alcoholic drinks have come more in vogue over the years.

Like I would say like it was it was probably like a I'm throwing out a lot of percentages here, but it was like a 70% chance that when I ordered a non-alcoholic beer from a bar, they would make fun of me. Wow. It would like pretty consistently,

they would be like, have a comment or, yeah, there would be some sort of comment that I would just, was like, I wish I just didn't do that. Yeah. But now it's like totally not like that anymore. De-stigmatized.

That's really. I mean, I feel like, your view on this might be a little skewed because of this podcast. But I, and my view might be skewed because of the way I live my life over here. But I feel like less people drink in general than they did 10 years ago. Is that a crazy thing to say? Absolutely.

Yeah, right. For sure. We have the numbers. We've read articles about that and stuff for sure. And that like, we're clocking. We're monitoring the problem, Chris. Don't you worry.

no it is funny that it's like that it is way down I think it was it's like a full it was it was like the same percentage of people whatever like 60 something percent of people drank from the beginning of the time until like the 2000s and then it started to dip a little bit

but in the last five years it's been like it dropped like 10 percent and I and in New York Times article I was saying like it is also just like the the general awareness of the health benefits of not drinking. It's not even so much like sobriety or that it's just like young people. And I think that like Gen Alpha will very likely just not ever even care about alcohol.

But then you have the sloppy boys kind of trying to keep it all right. Trying to keep the poison going. It's a noble thing we do. Yeah. you know it's funny for me that i don't know how you guys feel but we just we just got back from a couple weeks on the road and like um i'm so i'm so happy to not get drunk like it's so nice so like i is a welcome shift this this uh this gin that i just poured in round two is the first booze i've had since uh the tour since like our our show in lansing and i'm like oh

this is so nice to have that I like having one cocktail but I do not need to have the seven that I've been having every night and it's just not a good way to live uh it's it's diminishing return so I'm like uh it is it is just very funny that it's like of course a generation would like just not even start to go down that path sure and lansing is where I was when that woman was yelling at me really oh my god wow wait I think I know her yeah you know what you know what she loved our set

she got it it just clicked it just clicked for her that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time

and if you can't get enough boys you know it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys that's where we have the sloppy boys blow out the show we actually care about and questions for Lenin the monthly bonus show

How about that? Ooh. Beautiful. Chris, thanks so much for coming on. Do you have any advice for an opening band? Um, when you take your symbols off of the drums, or when you're like packing up your drums, take your stuff off the stage. Don't, don't do it on stage. Ah.

In between bands. Get off the stage as fast as take all your stuff and get it off the stage. Okay. I like to sort of make myself at home up there. Yeah, I used to kind of talk to the crowd. Did you like what you saw? Also, I find that you don't need to say that you have merch because everybody knows you have merch. Unless you have a funny thing where you say you have merch, then it's a different story.

If you have a funny bit, this is getting nice. And by the way, these are not rules that I'm imposing. Right, right. I'm just saying in general. These are what I've, I've learned. Now, let me ask you this, when it comes to the merch thing. Is it a faux pa? Because typically there's just a merch table out in the lobby.

But let's say we're the opening act. Let's say the headlinder is on stage. If I want to kind of walk around the crowd with some t-shirts, kind of selling them to people. Yeah, yeah. Kind of like door-to-door salesman five. T-shirts, you're sort of shouting. Yeah, yeah.

And you can keep that money, yeah. Yeah. See, I could put you in a beautiful hoodie, doesn't I? Yeah. What about selling the shirt that you were wearing from the show? Do people enjoy that? They might. Try it out.

I think that belongs to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Oh, Chris, is there like an etiquette thing about even being at merch during another person's performance? That's a good question. I think if you're on tour, it's a kind of, wait, you mean like a band member, a touring band? band member like generally the three of us are at merch just to kind of like we do it ourselves and we like talk to people and sign stuff but you know if the headliner generally we're going to be want to be watching you guys but you know sometimes if the bands don't know each other well is it weird if band b is on stage while band a is like maybe drawing people to their merch table is that

no good i i don't think that's i don't think that's that's a problem and even again even if it's like merch he got merch Yeah and you're on You're over the PA Yeah I'm still gonna have my wireless mic From the show Right

Yeah That does not get shut off Until we load out So you can hear you go Okay that's 20 Okay I'll give you 10 back I'm gonna need to borrow that A hundred foot

Cable that you were talking about Sure I don't have change I'll ask Chris if he has changed But that'll be later I'll be later I love Chris Anything you want to plug, or do you want to, where can people find you online?

I'm Chris Farron, at Chris Farron on what's left, Instagram, I guess. I guess, truth, uh, truth social, uh, social parlor. Truth social. I'm at. I had to get it. I had to get my name on truth social. Look, we got to, we got to promote. Hey, can we, can we end the episode with a, uh, with a Vespucci song? Yeah. Sure. Was there anyone that you would like, to say, yeah, can we, that's the other big question, legally can you? I don't know, I don't have,

I don't have any control over if you get copyright claimed or anything. Well, what we can do is we can, like, slow it down so it's almost unrecognizable. Yeah, perfect. Slowed and reverb. Okay, well, how about if we can do it? We'll keep this part in if we can't. Let's do breathless on DVD. That's my choice to breathless on DVD, super slow.

Super slow. Folks, we love you. Thanks for tuning in. and we'll see you next week. Peace. Bye. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Chris. And for the lucky few, we'll see you all live.

Thank you. Yeah, see you soon. I can't wait. Bye, Chris. Bye. Haven't seen you in a long time. Are you still sitting at that booth at the Brooklyn Bowl with your long red coat and the tears well in your eyes.

Haven't seen you in a long time. Are you still? 27 and mad at me Watching breathless on DVD In the dead of winter 2009 Why did I crumble Why did I crumble

Why did I crumble At the thought of you last night You haven't seen me in a long time But I'm still 23 area Everyone I love is just pretending You haven't seen me in a long time But I still walk along the beach at night I'm absolutely terrified

I can't make it on my own Why did I crumble Why did I crumble Why did I crumble stumble at the thought of you last night He could never get it right Never don't have me because I'm not free Or not free because I'm a happy

I wanted to see you To see if I still wanted to see you Why did I crumble? Why did I crumble? Why did I crumble at the thought of you last night? We could never get it right I wanted to see you

I wanted to see you I wanted to see you I wanted to see you to see if I still wanted to see you you.