The Sloppy Boys - 271. Scofflaw

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

The guys shake up a Prohibition-era classic, named for the brave men and women who flew in the face of alcohol bans.SCOFFLAW RECIPE: 1/3 RYE WHISKEY 1/3 FRENCH VERMOUTH 1/6 LEMON JUICE 1/6 GRENADINE Add ingredients into a shaker filled with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with speared brandied cherry.Recipe via Harry's New York Bar, ParisWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whoa there, Slapheads. Before we can get into the show, you gotta listen to my little lad. Hey guys, this is Milan Patel, official editor of the pod. Really sorry for doing that defensive accent, but I just want to let you guys know that in January, I'll be going on my first ever Texas tour. So check out these dates. January 23rd, I'm going to be in Dallas headlining the Dallas Comedy Club

with stand-up comedy. So if you like the Milan Minute, it's kind of like 60 of those all in a row. Then, January 24th, I'll be in Austin, Texas. I'll be putting on my variety show, Milan Patelan Enemies, at Cold Town Theater. Now, if you've never seen that show, it's animation, videos, stand-up. It's kind of like kill-tony, but even more effed up and even raunchier, actually. Then finally, on January 25th, I'll be in Houston, headlining The Secret Group.

You can find tickets for all of those shows at my website. website, milan fatelcomedy.com. And now we can get back to the show. Y'all come back now, you hear. Hey, folks. Welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello?

And Tim Calpacus. What a ease up? And we're your host, The Sloppy Boys, deep into the winter solstice break, reflecting. Oh, yes. Except we have big shows. You guys can relax. Oh, yes. We have big shows on Sunday and Tuesday in Boston at the Somerville Ballroom and at the Mercury Lounge in New York City.

Yeah, and these are both to celebrate, as you mentioned, the secular solstice celebration. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we're very spiritual about that. And I particularly will be honoring God, Yahweh, the Catholic God. And me, the planets. Is New Year's a Catholic thing? Is it?

No, it's a secular solstice celebration. But I mean like... It's a secular solstice celebration, Mike. A secular solstice? No, I mean, I mean, it's like, you know, people are saying, like, steering away from saying Merry Christmas. is saying Happy New Year's a specific, to a specific type of... First, allow me to say, I'm anti-woke, so I say Merry Christmas.

Secondly, no, New Year's, it's Western, right? It's not Chinese New Year. I'll tell you that much. Oh, what's the, that's what I wanted to look up. What's the year of, the 2026 year of in... It's the year of the can. Chinese, what would that be Zodiac? The Zodiac?

Yeah. 2026 is the year of the fire horse. Oh, nice one. Fire horse. I mean, not knowing what the other options were, I think a fire horse is pretty good. I know dog, there's monkey. I mean, fire horse better than dog and monkey. Colors, vibrant red, orange, purple, electric blue are associated with electric blue.

Ooh, chug jugs. Yes. Wearing red is common for protection. And buzz balls, electric blue buzz balls. So this just says horse. I don't know what AI overview is from Google is saying fire horse. So I don't know. Just horse, I guess.

Horse. Now that you've looked at the AI overview, Mike, could you look at a human overview and compare and contrast the two? I'm doing that now. The same. Everything exactly the same except AI calls it fire horse. I don't know why. Three. now here's something else another AI overview for 2026 the goat sheep is predicted to be the luckiest Chinese zodiac sign overall of the goat interesting yeah Kobe the goat is the goat tiger rabbit and dragon also have very positive years uh hmm this is interesting stuff interesting stuff interesting all right what do you guys got other than the zodiac stuff that was mine oh

Yeah, I was going to talk about fire horse. So that's great. We covered that. Oh, I was about to talk about fireball. Fireball. Guys, how are you two faring out there in La La Land? Is it cold at all? Are you feeling any of the breezes?

No. Mike, if you think it's cold in Hollywood, you don't really have a great sense of what it's like out here. We're kind of known for palm trees, sunshine, that type of thing. I lived there for 15 years, Tim. The temperature may have said 80 every day. It was the coldest town I've ever been to. You know what I mean? Right.

These people are tough. Emotionally cold. Emotionally cold. I'd walk in a... Hey, how's it going? I'd love to pitch you a movie, sir. Get out of my office. Hey, I'm just here to pitch a movie.

You don't have a pass to be here. That's so rude of that man. I know. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, can I tell you that man was Zazlov? Yeah? Oh, fuck him.

Okay. Gaving up with the... Oh, boy. Am I wrong? Which evil entertainment magnet is that? Oh, yes. Zass lies. As I said it too, I was like, is he not even in power anymore?

Who do we hate it out? Ellison? Yes, we don't like Ellison either. I don't know. Hold on. That's my new boss over at Digman. No, I mean, yeah, Sarandos. Sarandos is the one we don't like.

Oh, yeah. But he just bought Warner Brothers, didn't he? Oops. And that's where your beloved Batman lives, Jeff. Bats. You better be nice, or else he won't release any movie. He won't release the bat. I heard it, yeah, I did see, I saw an interview with Sarandos and they were like,

hey, what are you, what are you going to do? Like, what is, what are you not going to do? He said, well, we're not going to release the bats. Oh, God. That's so weird, they asked him what he wasn't going to do because that's a lot of things. What are you not going to do? It was a weird interview. I think it was on extra.

Speaking of interviews and, well, you did mention bats and the Batman. Jeff, did you see that DJ Mark Ribbley was on. Subway takes and his subway take was that Batman is an asshole because he's essentially a billionaire cop and that he's using all of his money to fight, you know, beat up like people who are like poor criminals instead of taking on the corporations. What do you think? Jeff, this is geek shit talk. You have 30 seconds. Take the floor. Ooh, Jeff, don't use your 30 seconds to be excited about geek shit talk. You got to use these seconds. Go, Jeff. Go, Jeff. That is okay. I'm using some of them. You got to go. Go. Oh. And that was your time. Man. Tim, I'm quite familiar with this very tired take

about Bruce Wayne. Really? Mark Ribbley hasn't cracked a comic book in decades, it seems. Everybody knows that Bruce Wayne funnels his money towards the Wayne Foundation

and runs orphanages and all this other crap, but he still likes to put on a costume and beat up drug dealers. And insane insane Joker clowns. Yeah,

It's just like a hobby of his that he likes to do a little icing on the cake as he also does that. You know, like, he contains multitudes. Now, speaking of missing understandings. Are we getting off of Batman? Because I have a question for Jeff. Well, I was going to say something about DJ Mark Ribolet.

I've got something to say about him too. Do it. Well, first I got to talk about Batman. Okay. Okay, here's the order. Mike's going to talk about Batman. I have a question. I have a question.

I have a question. I have a question. And then Mike's going to talk about DJ Mark Ribelay. Yes. Okay. So this is a question for Jeff about Batman and the town. He lives in and all the bad guys. Doesn't it seem kind of a tired premise? Like it happens a lot where the bad guys want to break all the other bad guys out of Arkham to just create chaos. Doesn't that seem like something we've seen a bunch? Yeah, I think so. Is that kind of a thing that you see in other properties too? Like, isn't that what Suicide Squad was?

Yeah, I don't know. Like, there's certain things you got to do. or that just sort of makes sense. You know, like every episode, we do booze news. It just works. Jeff, you had every opportunity to talk about Batman, and he just said, uh, makes sense. Okay, there we go. That's how it is.

It just makes sense, Jeff. You could have talked more. Can I have the answer? Can I do the answer instead? Yeah. Yes, Mike, it's true. In many other comics and my preference is graphic novels, of course. This is a theme, sort of a motif.

Hey, for example, in back to the, no, in Ghostbusters, you know, they open up the kind of vacuum thing with all the ghosts and all the ghosts get out. It's our tabby under a great sphere that all our villains will come back to haunt us. Tim, I couldn't have said it better myself. Now, what about this Mark Revelay fellow? Well, the first time I saw laid eyes on YouTube star and musician DJ Mark Rebier, he was, it was a viral clip of him freaking out. He's on his keyboard or DJ's turntable. Somebody's

pounded on it and he's going like, like fuck racists or no more racist, no more. And I thought it was Anthony Fantano needle drop having a little meltdown. Oh, because he looks like Riblay with just like a shaved

head. Exactly. If you put a wig on the needle drop, he becomes Ribbye. Two of our biggest YouTubers look very similar. I wonder if there's something about that face that lends itself to YouTube views. Interesting.

They excel at YouTube. And what is it that we're doing wrong with our faces? We don't have glasses. Oh, wait. They both have glasses and mustaches. It's probably just that. Yeah. But hey, we have three, we have three mustaches right now.

Hey, three mustaches right here. Nicely looking guys. You're looking at it live on tape. And also, hey, I like that we can see our fucking Reverend guitars hanging up. The Sloppy Boys LLC. Heart of the reverend family. When I see a guitar that's not reverend, I get physically ill. And then the only way to fix my stomach ache is to drink a badger Bev's ginger beer.

Ooh, reach for the badger. If any other brands want in on this, hit us in the DMs. Yeah, we could be talking about you right now. Oh, but we won't because we don't have you yet. Sorry. We don't have you yet. We don't have you yet. Now here's my Mark Ribbley story

And I'm just saying Ribley, I don't know what it is But that's why I'm comfortable doing So I was on a date once here in New York City And I went out And there was a girl I was with And we were talking about it It was in the afternoon like a Sunday afternoon date

Not my best showing Because she said She said I dress badly She said I dress like a college student On the date On the date And she also told told me about, she gave me

a bunch of stock tips, which I didn't really... Mike, it sounds like you were a victim of the swag gap. Have you heard of the swag gap? No. I have. I saw a picture of Bieber in Crocs while Haley was in stilettos and then said the style gap. Swag gap.

Mike, let me ask you this. Was she flirtatious in her razzing of you? No, this was like, this was like maybe started as razzing but then was very clearly like but this is actually what I think of how you dress but anyway so we're sitting there we're outside eating some kind of romany type stuff and she's talking about mark ribbley and I go oh that's interesting and who should walk by us but mark ribbley himself wow she jumped up ran over to him

gave him the biggest hug you've ever seen and I was like like, yeah, we were just talking about you. Yeah, so he, I definitely got Ribleyed on that day. It's funny. It ended up being a great date for her, not for the reasons you would want. I guess she's the best date of her life. Yeah, she got some good ramen. The way that she tells that story, she's told that story a million times.

And the way she kicks it off, she was like, I was on this whatever date. This dude, like, didn't know how to dress. And Mark Riveleigh comes in and I leapt into his. arms. It's also weird. It's like I was on a date with a guy who's a poor dresser and then I geeked out over a guy who's famous

for wearing a bathrobe all the time. Yeah, what the hell? I'm like, he doesn't dress like a college student. He dresses like a bathroom student. A bathroom student. Well, she, I've heard her tell this story now, Jeff. She's like, well, so I was

on this date with Mark Ribbley. I'm like, I've even been pushed out of it. I've been switched to roll. I've been worked out of the whole narrative. She's like, and Mark ribolet doesn't dress very well. I was like, okay, so you just don't like the way people press. Mike, you're not unribelay yourself when you have longer hair. You're ribolet. Yeah, I can see how a girl into ribolet would be into the hand, man. I bet one of my pictures on my app or something on the dating app made her look like I was a ribelay guy, and she

saw me in real life and said, oh, not ribelay enough. Rivalade for her present. You're like, he's one percent off from pure ribelay, and then she saw the real thing. From pure, DJ mystique. Pure ribbley. A pound of pure. Now all that to say this, I do enjoy anytime I've seen his little clips on YouTube and stuff. I like him. Yeah, he really blossomed in the COVID era. He went from, from bathroom beat dude to like, he's, he's studio neat dude. He's like a real artist who gets like featured on things and he's in a lot of shows and stuff. Producing? I don't know. Hmm. It sounds like he's,

He was named by a French frog ribet lay. A French fried frog leg. Have you had frog legs? Tim? Yes. Jeff? No. That is one I don't think I will ever teeter into.

Mike? Unless. If you don't, that's going to be a blowout. I see Tim's eyes lighting up. Yes. You got to stop right there. Then we got an idea for a blowout. I don't mind that.

Sacre blue. I would eat them if they like, somebody else at the table ordered them and I was like oh that does smell kind of good let me try one of these oh shit I can't catch it because I can't it's leaping all around the table yeah boing boring um so Tim when you had that frog leg it probably had its whole own thing I hear that it tastes like

chicken but I doubt that it was breaded and covered in franks and butter no there's multiple ways to you know like could it be the French will serve it in a frosty not frosty creamy, frothy, creamy way, but I've also had it at fucking Nathan's hot dogs at Coney Island used to have deep fried frogs legs and very odd, but that was deep fried and it was like a chicken nugget. I feel like the cliche tastes like chicken might even

come from that or I had alligator once and that tastes kind of like chicken, but it's, I don't know, if you're even, if you're looking at the leg, it's not really a fun visual. Hmm. Interesting stuff. Hey, you asked. No, I'm just, I'm struck by, when, uh, when geek shit comes up, we make a big joke about how Jeff can't talk and we're going to brush through this stuff real fast. A weird food comes up and I sit here and I go, oh, Tim, what does that taste like? Oh, you don't say.

Okay. What kind of sauce was all that? I'm a good scene partner. No, you know what, Jeff? I am a good scene partner. Okay, Chris Rock. Okay, Chris Rock. You both could work on your scene work.

Your question was merely transactional. You didn't care about the weird. food you asked it only so that you could then shame me about geek shit you didn't listen to me talking about how you didn't when i was talking about coney island mike was fascinated you all you seemed to care about is your the next spider man comic that arrives at your door yes yes now jeff i gave you uh an opportunity and a stern talking to earlier saying you had the opportunity to talk about arkham you had the opportunity to say hey i I, you know, I can maybe try to spin something out of this

and keep Mike and Tim entertained. But you just said, oh, that's how it happens. You didn't even try to draw us in. You know what? I'm thinking. This is a fucking mess. I know you're thinking. Okay, wait, no, like, let's give Jeff a second to think,

and then his response will be well thought out. I like when someone takes a minute to gather themselves. Yeah, yeah, this is great. We should, we should do a, like a sound effect to get us back to when Jeff speaks next. Yes, Arkham gets broken into a lot. Yeah,

they bring them out all the time. You aren't interested in that sort of shit, Mike. I am interested because it's story stuff. I want to make sure I'm getting... See, now he's defensive and he won't talk.

Okay. While Jeff cools down, Mike, let me ask you. Oh, shit. As neither... You're going to put me in the hot seat? No, no, just your opinion here. You are neither the geek shit king

nor the foodie. are you more interested i'm the psychedelic uh athlete of the group psychedelic are you more interested in uh the most popular superhero of our times or the time tim ate a frog leg i was with tim the time he ate the frog leg every group of three bros has the the geek the foodie and the psychedelic jock that's me because i do uh i go to the gym and i have a tie-dye shirt this is give me to us by, damn, I'm going to forget the name. I'm going to say Matt or Mark at the show in Rebri?

They'll be happy with that. Woodstock, New York. Utica Club says Utica Club on it. Here's what you don't realize, Mike. Utica Club beer is brewed at the Matt Brewing Company in Utica, New York. Matt, the name Matt. Ooh, maybe that's why I'm thinking that. But anyway, thank you for this.

We got some hats and shirts and everything. Here's my question. Mm-hmm. What is more interesting to you? um odd french cuisines or the uh motifs of gotham city by the motifs of gotham city to be honest i don't think i've really had french cuisine if i have it was wasted on me well i think it takes it takes all of us it takes a geek and a and a foodie and a psychedelic jock uh to make a pod go round to make this pie go round

I've said on the pod, my favorite thing about this pot is it's not even like ingredients of cocktails or the active mixology as much as it is the the sociological aspect of what type of person drinks, what type of opts for what type of cocktail. So if you were to tell me, I don't really know the geek. What is it? You know, I know that a gamer drinks Baja Blast and Prime, right?

What is a comic book type of guy drink, Jeff? Orange Julius. There you have it, folks. I don't think I've had an Orange Julius. Have you been seen one in a long time? Does that still exist? I've been not seen one in a while. It's kind of been supplanted by your god damn,

jamba juices and stuff. Yeah. I see more Wetzels than Orange Julius. I miss the neon sign. I just remember like our mall orange Julius had like a beautiful big orange and green neon sign. But hey, speaking of like ingredients and drinks, this is a good little transition. Folks, we have been, I have been lambasted these last couple weeks for the vermouth gate. Yes.

For pulling out that dusty Nuali Pratt, noily pram. And this, I'm going to issue a rare sloppy boys LLC. apology to the listenership. I'm impressed by them. I didn't think they gave a shit about the cocktails anymore. And here they come out of the woodwork. Dragging me, Mike. Dragging me. I don't like that. I don't like people

dragging you. I liked it because I felt like they dragged the ones they love. And I think they care enough about the podcast. And I think that they could tell that their boy, Tim, was introducing the cocktail of the week, the Rob Roy, with the intention of that episode being a return to form. I said, guys, let's do an old cocktail.

and let's, we've been dabbling in TikTok drinks and stunt drinks for a long time. Let's have a return to form. And then, so I say, let's have a drink that's scotch, sweet red vermouth, and Angostura bitters. And then Jeff says to himself secretly, yes, and I'll tell the guys to come over to record the episode. I'll tell them I have all the ingredients, but I won't shop for new vermouth, even then when I have been specifically directed by celebrity bartender Jack Schramm that vermouth once opened to be refrigerated. and kept for a maximum of three months, Jeff had an old open bottle of sweet red vermouth that was a bad brand to begin with,

and he had had it on a shelf four years ago. It was four years old. I willingly grabbed it, willingly blew the dust off it and served it. Jeff, you said, you said, oh, I have the ingredients. Most technically. Part of me was just like, oh, it's the sloppy boys podcast. The listeners won't care. care. They won't care. And I couldn't be happier to say that I was wrong. The listeners do care about

good vermouth and having it and drinking it. Maybe that's a new thing in the year 2026. The sloppy boys podcast. The listeners care. Hey. The sloppy boys podcast. The listeners care. I liked that they were holding you accountable on multiple internet platforms. Jeff, I also saw you got a little heat recently for overusing your slow cooker when you talk about when you're forced by tim to talk about what you cook in your home uh you don't use your stove you don't use your microwave you don't use your oven but you cook every meal in a slow cooker even a baked ham which everyone knows that if you want to properly glaze it it should you can't have so much moisture because you need to reduce that glaze you put it in a crock pot all day yeah that i do not apologize for that i

I do not apologize for. In my kitchen, I make the rules. And when I make a big batch, I don't want a big hot kitchen where I might burn myself. I put it in a slow cooker. I do it slow and low. Keep it all wet and soupy. Soupy, goopy and swoopy. Jeff, you shouldn't, no, this is for the people out there.

Don't tell anyone else how to cook their stuff. If they're cooking, leave alone. Yeah. What if they cook wrong? Let them, hey. Leave me. Let him cook. What if he's trying to make a glaze reduce and he did it in a wet environment?

If you saw some of the steps I took to make, you know, knockout smashes like Ryko Chai Chi or the hand slamer, the first steps of those, it's a crash and burn. It's disgusting what's going on. I will say I tried to pre-reduce the glaze with a nice simmer session. Good. A sim a session. With a sim a sim a session. I guess I'm getting all my food dog And we did the geek shit

Mike what's happening in psychedelic athletics at the moment Let's see fish is playing Three night stints at the sphere Coming up at the end of April So the three nights is the athleticism And then it's fish so that's the psychedelic Well the sphere is round like a basketball No that's yes yes or a hockey puck if you look at

New Year's Eve The New Year's Eve run at MSG where the Knicks play That's right well that's at SG, right. Wait. Now, what do you say? Um, Fish, psychedelic band is playing New Year's Eve at Madison Square Garden where the Knicks play. That's both psychedelic and athletic. Gotcha. I, sorry, I thought you said, we're going and I said, ooh, I don't know where you had plans for that. I didn't get tickets. Now, I noticed, uh, yes. Did you guys see how Cameron Winter of Geese fame played at Carnegie Hall? Oh, I didn't see that. Good for him. He played at his solo. He played

this solo show where he's playing a grand piano with his back to the audience. And this was a big deal for like a young artist to be playing Carnegie Hall so fast. And everyone there was spellbound and then it was showing some of the celebs and attendance. And I saw Mike's beloved Trey Anastasio. Doesn't live far away.

He's up there on the Upper West Side. Okay. Easy Uber for him. Because it's snowy out. That's what I worry about. I don't need him falling on the ice cracking his wrist and not being able to play the New Year's run, man. That would be sad. That would be very sad.

You think those guys, Trey Anastasio has his, he must have his hands insured because, right? If you make enough, if you're like a big enough artist of something, you probably do, you probably get them insured. You probably do.

It's like his hands are everything. Like his voice, it's not like he's a big voice. Can you insure a voice? I know Universal took out like a billion dollar life insurance policy on Spielberg. So like when Spielberg kicks the bucket. Yeah. So if his hands break, he can still play it.

Well, in that case, Spielberg is like their hands. Yeah. Spielberg is their brain. I feel like I first heard. And the alien. All right. I feel like I first heard about this phenomenon of ensuring specific body parts with Tina Turner's legs, right? That was like a million dollar policy on her legs.

There must be a J-Lo's butt joke. out there somewhere. Oh, there it is. That was it. Brat. There's the latest butt joke. Well, we're getting some booze news. Booz news hit it.

Everybody, everybody, everybody. Hey! Dude! Yeah. Yeah. Jim. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Jim. Wow. Everybody was sent to us by Bobby TBD. And if you have a booze news theme, email it to the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com. Oh, Bobby TBD. He recently did the remix with me and Lamar. Love that dude.

Ooh, that sounded it. That was cool. Hey, everybody. Everybody. Dude, what kind of, uh, what is that like techno? That's like 90s tech. Yeah, that's that stuff that you were trying to call out one episode. You're like, what's that style of music call?

I think it's just, yeah, 90s dance music. Like, like, another night, another dream that I'm amazing. I like, I love in that stuff when they, whatever knob it is, it's like, it makes it sound like it's going underwater kind of like, you know, it comes back to like, uh, you speak of a low pass filter. Yes, yes. Yes, yes, I had no idea. Low pass filter.

Remember there was a, there was like a Weezer album or something like that a few years ago where a rock album with some aging rockers where every song sort of started with like one bar of the song with that type of underwater distant kind of trebly filter. It's a very post Malone move. Yeah and that

that's very much like a trick of a producer who is mixing an album like trying to find an intro after the fact. You know if you don't really have an intro for the song it's very common to just like have like an eight count that sounds it's like quiet and tinny and then

the beat drops and then you go into verse one we should do that yeah we should get into verse one yeah right yeah um okay boo's news um I wanted to uh the winter months are upon us are they not yes sir um well

on our discord uh Eric Kang King King Kang shared this article with us I'm sending to you guys now from Guardian the UK the headline being is it a good idea to have a hot toddy when you're sick um and this is funny because i you know like we've done hot toddies on the show and it is traditionally you hear about people who like

came to know hot toddies as a thing that you have um when you're sick do you have you either of you guys ever pulled this move i've had one but not when i was sick i have had when i was sick i've did it work for you jeff no yeah i feel like what does anything work when you're sick you're sick you're in it for fucking five days that's it exactly and i think that i've done it once i learned that this was something that people do i was like i'm allowed to have that one kind of cocktail same thing with like hangovers when i was like getting excited to get hungover so i can make myself a bloody marry um but this article is is these are always uh it was just funny to see it in guardian but but um these are these articles are always

kind of weird because i i've read some about is what is bloody well a bloody mary do for your hangover and you know it's like people like you need that vitamin C from the tomato and it's like okay maybe it's like you need that salt because it's uh electrolights it's like yeah maybe but and it's really what you're doing it's just like kicking the can on your hangover by having some vodka and keeping you a little bit drunk so you don't feel it and then you just feel it later um well uh this article they talk to a bunch of doctors and they go through a bunch of points about whether or not a hot toddy does anything for you when you're sick the takeaway is overall experts say it's not a great idea

but it is which is predictable but it's very funny to go through these articles are never satisfying to me in either direction because when it's talking about why not it's like well whiskey's kind of bad because if you're on medications for your cold it will make like medication like

Benadryl not work as well and I'm like okay well that's splitting hairs what if I'm not on Benadryl yeah I think just like when you're sick you're using your body's like cycles to try and get better. And if you're throwing alcohol at it, it's sopping up those cycles to just like make you sober again.

Yeah. And it's just knocking. It's keeping your immune system low. Just it's not smart. Yeah. Alcohol's a poise. Like there's no good. We shouldn't be doing,

well, maybe we should take this out. We shouldn't be doing, uh, drinking alcohol. Folks, I would say I pivoted to like, oh,

maybe I could like, maybe I'll smoke a little weed. And I was like, well, that my throat hurts. I don't want to be throwing weed at it. And that also being congested. it just feels worse.

Gummies. Folks, the answer to this whole thing is just gummies. Oh, interesting. There's something with the, I, if I'm like teetering on a, or teetering out of a cold and I'm like, okay, I think I'm out of it. And I drink a night too early.

Then it like gets me right back. Like it's always, it's always like, if I think it's going to be a night too early, it always. Yeah, I feel like it has elongated colds for me. But it's, it's kind of funny.

this article didn't go into the science of that. But then they offered some flimsy type of stuff where they were like, they were like, hey, lemon. You squeeze lemon in a hot toddy, that's vitamin C. But it seems like in order to have, we all say, oh, you need vitamin C when you're sick. You need like, the amount of vitamin C that would make a difference and make you healthy

would be three lemons basically. Or like four lemons worth of vitamin C. Oh, wow. So I know that's these types of articles are so funny with that. It's like, yeah, eventually you could get there with the vitamin C, but you're not having a hot toddy anymore. Right. Yeah, you're having a lemon juice.

And then the water, hot water, they're like, oh, hot water, of course. And they're just saying like, well, that, because it hydrates you. And it's like, okay, well, it doesn't even need to be hot. And I guess whiskey dehydrates you. But it's like, you're not even going to have so much whiskey that you're very dehydrated. So this is all wishy washing. But where they landed was honey makes your throat feel okay for a little while, like, while it's in your throat and, uh, and the,

and water is good and, and booze is bad, but like, it really, this wasn't a cautionary tale. It didn't say like, don't do it. It's so, yeah, it's kind of somewhere in the middle. The article should have just been like the title and the blurb and everything. And then the article should just been like, whatever you think. This doesn't, there's no answer here. We just needed to come out with an article. Yeah, you understand. I know this one, there was the headline. And when you clicked to read the body of it, it was like oh shit we didn't think you'd click well oh it hasn't normally

gotten this far far oh shit um but now Jeff you speak of content on the internet or that it's sort of desperate for your attention which uh brings me to the next boosness thing which is Miriam Wexter

Merriam Webster's word of the year 25 is slop Slop like we talked about I saw that I asked you guys I was like have you seen an up in this term, Slop. We called it.

I fear that the Sloppy Boys LLC factored very little into them calling Slop the word of the year, 2025. We don't know for sure. You know, if Guardian says vitamin C helps, but then they're like, yeah, well, you need like four lemons to get that much vitamin C. Who's to say, Slop is the biggest word of the year? Maybe AI social media slop was not enough

get it there. And they needed a little bit more slop from a certain podcast. They're like, well, there's this other usage of the word slop that means like timeless integrity now more than ever. It's not really the same, but it puts it over the edge over Laboooooooo.

It is being used. It was down to Laboo Boo Boo and Slop and Slop clenched it. This is a new thing, right? Where it's like the word of the year. Like they didn't do this one way back when there wasn't like social media or something to say about every year they add words so i remember that always being in the news like here are 13 of the new words or whatever but yeah i don't think an announcement of word of the year always

existed but i mean every whatever your um section of culture is in the era of psychedelic athletics or otherwise yeah be it or weird foods weird french foods you got to have like blank of the year to have something a post about in this shitty modern era right right right right So that's why, like, we didn't, I mean, they've done color of the year for a long time now. But I didn't, I used to hear about it. Now everybody hears about it. You know, the color of the year is like white. Really?

It's like, there's a, there's a special name for it, but. What does that mean the color of the year? Does that mean like the next year? That's what's going to be the color everyone likes or that's what people were using? Because I think it's a predictive thing. I think it is predictive, but like sometimes I feel like it actually has had some correlation, like millennial pink. was one of them. Yeah.

And then the year afterwards, it was something sort of coral peachy, and I was seeing a ton of corally peachy type, type stuff to hear. The Pantone color this year is like white. There's a name for it. It's like cloudburst or something. Yeah, I think you're right. It's just white, though. Cloud dancer.

Does it look different from other whites? No, no. I mean, like, you know, you go to the hardware store and there's like white paint and there's like just 50 different kinds of white paint. It's just one of those whites. I like tooth. I like bone. You remember

on a recent episode of the Sloppy Boys Blowout the Superior show Patreon.com Sloppy Boys. You guys were talking about you're trying to put your finger on a certain type of color

that's like sort of like pastel but not the kind of creamy kind of muddy we were saying yes, yes. Ceramic. Yeah, because you're saying not the Easter colors

but like a muddier version of it. Well, I bumped into my neighbor outside yesterday and she was driving a brand new Ford Bronco that was that type of color you were talking about. It was it was kind of like a gray green but looked gummy and looked clay like I could just take a scoop out of it. Yeah. It looks like you can touch it like it's more tactile or something. They look like they look like kid like toy cars. I asked her, hey, do you know the name of this color of your car? And she said,

cactus green. Oh, cactus green. No, no, sorry, cactus gray. Cactus gray. Cactus gray. Weird. We learned a Reverend that they name the guitars like all types of different names. It's like, oh, what's this green one call? It was like, you know, Misty Forest or something. It was fun to hear all the different ones that you wouldn't expect. And they get to name them. There's a lot of fun in that.

Yeah. Hold on. I just Googled and it's actually, it is a, she did say cactus green. It's officially cactus green, but a lot of Ford Bronco people are calling it cactus gray because it's a gray green. But it's the cactus family of colors. driven by Cactus Jack Mike who is Cactus Jack I don't know I'm going to look that

I'm going to say it's Travis Scott I'm going to say it's a movie about a kangaroo I think Travis Scott's hard seltzer was called Cactus Jack Cactus Jack is in fact Cactus Jack Records is a record label founded by American rapper Travis Scott

now what am I think kangaroo Jack is what I'm thinking of that's his name He was a kangaroo jack, of course. He's not a cactus. He's a kangaroo. That to me feels like a whole other type of jack. Yes.

And a whole other different conversation. Now what else did we have to say with boo's news? That's all I got. That's all you got. Meeleyn, wrap it up. Well, do you guys want to turn our attention to the drink of the day? Ah, yes. The D-O-the-D, as Mike would say.

this week's drink is the scofflaw you've had oh no it sounds like a drink that my three co-hosts would love have you you Mike have you heard you being one of the co-hosts in the panel here that you see yeah I guess I said that from the point of view of the LLC as like a legal organization nobody's had nobody's heard nobody's had no um well you certainly heard where this has come from but let me ask you this have you the word scoffler are you familiar yes very much so did you know that that word what do you think when you hear scoffla how would you say that word means

i can't say because i already looked it up mike i think it's it sounds like a like a ruffian like a what's someone who gets in trouble around liquors there you go specifically liquors i thought it was somebody who thought very little of the law who scoffs at the law. Well, you're both right. Skoff law is someone who scoffs at the law and that law is prohibition. It was someone who broke liquor laws

in the 20s. And the term was coined in 1924 and then cut two over at Harry's New York bar in Paris. We've discussed many times Harry Macalone had that New York

bar. I've been there. It's the originator, or at least pioneer of a lot of drinks like the Bloody Mary, the side car, the French 75. That Harry being one of the two Harry's, we always talk about Harry Craddock who worked at the Savoy Hotel

in London. So basically, this drink the scofflaw was invented by a bartender named Jock at Harry's New York bar in Paris in the 20s as a cheeky move. I like to think imagine in the era it's like

America is not allowed to have booze you can in Paris but America has no booze and then in America they start saying like oh bootleggers and stuff are called scofflaws people go to speak easier scoffla scofflaws so then cut to Paris in a cheeky way they're making a new drink and calling it a scofflaw and saying wink wink

you know that's kind of a funny thing We know what's going on. That's fun. Even the word scoff law sounds more fun. Like, it sounds like Han Solo, like scoundrel, like a... It brings to mind scruffiness and outlawness. Like, Jeffrey Epstein is not a scoff law. No, no, no.

He scoffs at the law, but not that, not the kind we're talking about. This is like a fun outlaw. It's funny because that really backfired. The word, there was like a contest, a prohibitionist, Delsevere King. was like had people write in and pitch words that were supposed to be derogatory terms for people who broke prohibition laws. It was supposed to be a deterrent. Like, let's have a nasty word that's a slur we could use.

But instead, they accidentally picked a cool word that then bartenders thought was cool and appropriated. There's a Seinfeld episode called The Scoff Law, and I for want to know which one it is. Bitch it's Kramer. Oh, I can guarantee it's Kramer. Kramer. Whoa. George meets an old friend who spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy that everyone knew except him.

Now, wait a minute. There's got to be more to it than that. Kramer teams up with a police officer to catch a repeat parking violation. There you go. And I think it was Jerry, it was the scopla. Oh, well. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's a Larry Charles episode. It doesn't sound like typical Jerry Larry.

fair. Written by Peter Mellon. That guy's a big dork. I remember him from the DVD special features. I went to University of Maryland. It says here.

How big a dork could he be? He ended up on DVD special features, too. Hey, let me tell you about one of my biggest Hollywood thrills was I'm but a boy in upstate New York watching the DVDs of Seinfeld and I'm listening to the commentaries and there's a guy named Tom Gamble and he talks like this.

Hey, I wrote this episode with my partners, Dave Mandel and Alecberg. And I loved him and I thought this guy's great. He's really funny. He's a great writer and it. What a distinct voice. Around my house, I'm doing that voice to my brother and sister saying, hey, I'm Tom Gamble. I don't even

know what the guy looks like or anything. Cut to about 10 years later, I'm a Hollywood guy. I get to meet Tom Gamble. Hey, I know his niece, Eliza Hooper, but Tom Gamble was writing at the Simpsons and I got me and Mitch met him at a table

read he was like an upper level uh like a consultant they bring in like one day a week he and max proz he's an elder statesman of the community yes gammo and pross had been like famous letterman writers and stuff like that but when i met tom gammo he said to me hey birthday boys keeping the beat get out of here yeah yeah yeah that's wonderful wait you saw him at a uh you saw him at a hollywood bull didn't you um or i know i did i think i saw him at the bowl once so are you getting me and you confused. No, no, I'm getting, I think, because I think after you told us that I've seen him as, I was with Mitch and he knew Mitch and he said something about the birthplace. Yes, good, very good. So he's doing your stuff around the house now. That's crazy. Yep. We can only assume he's

doing keeping the beat around the house at his house. Let me ask you this. I've got a scoffalo question for both of you. Shoot. I have here the original recipe from Harry's New York Bar in Paris from the 1920s. I also have an updated, more palatable version from Liquor.com from written by Gary Regan, famous bartender who's

writing articles for liquor.com. Okay, Gary. Way to go. Should we do the modern day what you would taste at a bar these days, or should we be doing the ridge? I think we go chronological. You think? Oh, but get to, but get to the, but get to the

round two. I like that. I like that. Two is new. Okay. Two is new. Well, this is written, this is in parts because it's back in the day, so everything has to be a little.

I'm going to write this down. Ready? It's not too hard. Is it like a rhyme like that one recipe? No. This one goes out of its way to not rhyme. It's really clunky.

Okay. So, well, this is going to be shaken with ice and strained into a cocktail glass served up. But the ingredients are one third rye whiskey

one third French vermouth these are parts not ounces correct I mean an easy way to do it would be just you could do it

that way if you want yeah one sixth lemon juice and one sixth granadine so those together make up one third

so ah okay so yeah so like one third whiskey one third vermuth and then the other third is half lemon juice

half grenadine now the liquor dot com recipe said bourbon or rye so i have bourbon i don't have rye but whatever that's fine by me same i only have the bourbon same i got myself a big bullet i said you know what i don't have any whiskey at home let me get a a big bun big boy not the huge one not the 66 dollar one you yowch um ouch well i like this that way when we released the the recipe online will say recipe via harry's new york bar paris 1920s oh Ooh, we should put in some of that kind of a French accordion music.

Yes. And when we say French vermouth, you know, we are talking about dry vermouth. This is our web redemption episode where we feel so bad about our old vermouth from last week that me and Jeff cracked open a brand new bottle of Dolan that had been gifted to me by Neil Campbell. And I never got around to opening. Mike, do you have fresh? I got myself a brand new Dolin bottle as well. This is good. See, folks, we are walking the walk.

I didn't just apologize and keep on doing the bad behavior. I think we're going to next week and the weeks after have to do more vermouth stuff to use it all out. Are you pitching us a remove mumps? Oh! Would be the perfect time. Sweet. Well, guys, what do you think?

We go shake these up, shake them up, serve them up, served up. And we'll come back here and have first sips after the break. Sounds good. Sounds good. Folks, we'll be right back with more sloppy. boys after this and we're half on the beer we have on the beer

let me make this perfect fucking now and we're back scofflaws in hand look at this thing yeah very pinky

kind of looks like it looks like a Cosmo yeah looks like fucking Hawaiian punch now mine is browner because uh no mine is browner because um since we went with the old recipe i used some fancy like real pomegranate grenadine so then for my round two for the model i'll use roses grenadine so that's like a that's like a that's not yeah it's kind of browner nice podcasting tim yep exactly nice cash cheers cheers cheers first sips

okay yeah i was bracing myself because i thought you said something about the the new recipe is more palatable yeah well i like how dry this is because there's only um i went with ounces so i did one ounce whiskey one ounce vermouth half ounce lemon half ounce grenadine that's not a lot of your sweet ingredient so like the you know you got vermouth and uh to bounce it up, but like, I'm getting a lot of lemon, and I like that it's not sweet at all. I can still, I think it's because I don't like vermouth that I'm like trying to find it, but it's not, it's there just enough. It's that astringent taste. Is that what it is?

Yeah, yeah, because it's whiny. It's funny, I would, you would expect sweet red vermouth more commonly you would have sweet red vermouth in a whiskey drink like this. It's interesting to have the, the dry French vermouth with whiskey. Oh, going back to the, to the hot toddy we mentioned, you mentioned before, Tim. Hot Tari! Hot Tari! Oh, God. I was just thinking about this today when I was looking at whiskeys and stuff.

There's Irish whiskey, obviously, like, Canadian whiskey and tennis, you know, America whiskey. Does English, I usually think of the English as like gin drinking. Oh, yeah. It's not so heavy, not so whiskey heavy, I wouldn't think. Right? That's kind of how it feels. I mean, I once spoke of the gin craze in London. Yes, yes.

But there isn't like a famous whiskey out there. people were leaving their kids in the streets they loved gin so much don't you remember they're selling their kids clothes and the kids are freezing to death um yeah i don't know i i know irish whiskey right but uh i i i agree i don't i don't personally don't know of any british wait what was the gin the gin thing you just said the gin craze that people were leaving their they were leaving kids in the streets for real yes you have to go back and listen to the uh you'll have you know what's so funny mike yeah i this was the gin and tonic episode and it was like very special specifically one where I did I did a deep dive on the history and you didn't give a fuck so it's so funny because I was like Michael like this because there's like kids are being left for dead in the streets

and it was one where I warned you guys I was like no impact I was like this history is so fun that I think we should make the drinks first so we could sip them while I'm talking and then while I was talking you guys were just getting drunk and being like another thing about Batman don't loop me into this

we should I should go back and listen to that whoopsies you should listen to the Sloppy Boys podcast you can learn a lot I'm like I'm like a dramatic actor like a artistic actor

he's like no I don't go back and listen to my own work that's so cool yeah it's cool I never got that when like Brad Pitt I mean I remember because Brad Pitt was the only guy

the first guy I heard say that that he doesn't watch his own movies Johnny Depp too oh yeah that makes sense I think these guys I think these guys are watching and they're just playing the Hollywood guy. Oh, I have a story.

This is low quality information you're getting here. Ooh, nice. I heard of somebody who hooked up with Nicholas Cage, and when this happened, a Nicholas Cage movie was playing in the bedroom. Like, he had put it on his own movie? Apparently. Because he's in a lot of stuff. It could have just come up on NT.

It could have just been on TNT or something like that. Yeah, you're right. But then again, why would you have TNT on it? in the bedroom well you know maybe he's like silk stockings comes on or something like but uh i i thought maybe that that could be like that could be an interesting thing because you hear about these high profile

celebs that are like hey if you want to like go in the bedroom with Justin Bieber you got to give us your cell phone or something that could be a way of like if if somebody goes in there and takes pictures of him or tries to film something it's like watermarked by a national treasure

blaring in the background he would know he would know who it was or it's just so crazy, they would never be believed. Interesting. Do you guys do that thing where if someone hooks up with you, they have to sign an NDA? Yes. Yeah.

I do a thing where they have to sign a lifetime commitment. Well, you're kind of, it's sort of like that song, Will you still love me tomorrow. You're like, yeah, I know tonight you're saying everything I want to hear, but I do, but I have one of those big clunky digital signing things that, you know, when you get a package sent to you. and like someone brings up a package and I can never get to work

and I have to find like the Wi-Fi and it's like oh just you'll all right we'll figure this out later let's fuck now and we'll figure the signing out later she's like fuck we weren't going to do anything like that I thought you were coming in and put in

the cable oh it's it Mike you were you were saying something I stepped on you with my Nicholas Cage thing who me or Tim you were me well I don't remember what that was but I have a new thing to say and it's even raunchier. I read this thing

that sounds very fake but I'm going to say it as if it's real. Some a groupie made love to Drake. I also remember Drake that there was that

Champagne Poppy? Yeah, remember there was that Drake Dick video that we all got to see? That's kind of funny that we've all seen Drake's Dick. Oh yeah, like a year ago. No, maybe two years ago.

There was a video of Drake and he's sitting on the couch. He's kind of wagging his bone around. Oh, yeah. I remember that, but I also was, it was definitely him. I remember people like, it was not him. There were people saying it's not him, but, um. Yeah.

Anyway, um, here was the, the urban legend that I heard was that. Well, how was the member? A lady went to Drake's penthouse in Toronto. Toronto. Oh, geez. I'm going to be up there to February 28th. recording my stand-up special at the comedy bar. At the comedy bar on Bloor, folks. Check it out. Check my

socials. Go ahead, Tim. Are tickets available for that? Excellent stuff. Yes. Excellent stuff. I was trying to say, indeed they are, but I started with ax. I just couldn't think of anything else. Yeah, you picked something that means the exactly same. Excellent stuff. Excellent stuff.

This is the type of top-notch stand-up and improv you'll be seeing on the 28th Well, Mike, you're a celebrity performer in Toronto as well, so you need to watch out for this groupies doing this type of thing. Oh, yes. Okay. Back to Drake. A woman had intercourse with Drake. And then Drake goes to, he gets rid of the prophylactic condom.

Drake. Okay. And he puts it in the trash, right? And then the sneaky groupie. says, I want to have him be my baby daddy because then it'll be set for life. 18 years. I'm a gold digger. You know what I mean?

So she goes to the waste bin. She pulls out the prophylactic and she puts the material. Sure. We can finish. We can sort of make up the ride. I get you to him. No, I don't know what he's going to say, Mike. Mike, what do you think I'm going to say?

I think you're going to say she took the material. tier of the semen from out of the condom and put up her ass. We should pay for Mike to take a class. An ass class. Did you hear the sloppy boys had to launch a whole new Patreon tier to afford Mike's ass classes? You got to send me to ass class. I don't know what's going out.

Well, Tim, that's like a horror story that they tell. that they tell people. Wait, is there more of the story? That's a classic thing. You know, like, is like, hey, yo, this happened. But here's the Drake's spin. This lady was trying to pull up. Because you know Drake's going to put his own spin on it, Tim?

Tell him. She takes the prophylactic. She puts the material inside of her sex organ. Right. She's filling up. And sizzle, sizzle, Drake had put hot sauce into the seam. is this this is the story that I've heard since I was like 13 is this true no I mean

my disclaimer was no I think it's but it is something that I read on the internet and wow I wonder if that's like a new the new like Richard gear gerbil for yeah right because I heard the like those little Tabascoes you know those little tiny Tabascoes the tiny ones that like NBA players keep those and do that right because of that and it was specifically Tabasco in this story that I heard as well. So now are they are they putting a

a dupe, a dummy condom with just to bat? Like are they getting rid of the other condom some other way and then the dupe one goes? No there, no, it's like, it's like hey guys, rappers and NBA players and stuff, put Tabasco in your jizz so that this doesn't happen. Oh, after the fact. Oh.

So it's like and then Cap comes off Little Tabasco Little Tabasco comes out Hey what are you doing And then into the trash Smells like

Sounds like a part of a chicken wing Reb recipe in here But now You know what happened When this lady flash for nine months She gave birth to like a chili pepper kid Give it away Give it away now

Fucking Tid is okay Okay. Did I tell? I just retold this story to somebody recently. And I think I've mentioned on here, but I'll bring it up again. I was in, this was probably two years ago now. I was at a bar. Here in Brooklyn, it was somebody's birthday. And like they had the, it was a type of bar where it had a room and then a bar, sorry, bar room and then like a party room. But the party room was wide open. There was like another birthday party happening. It was a crowded bar on a Friday night. And I stepped out. out of the party area to go to the bar to get a drink. Why not? It's a fun time. It's a birthday party. I want to celebrate.

It's Friday night. And there's a guy sitting at the bar. You know, and like a bar is crowded and there's just one person sitting there. And they're like, come on. Everyone else is standing. Hate that.

Chairs are, or stools are tucked in because people like aren't sitting. I hate Friday night, Saturday nights, a busy bar, someone trying to act like it's their local watering hole and they're sitting and blocking the way. Fuck off. So that.

That was already annoying me and others about this guy. And then he's reading. He's drinking a beer, reading at the bar. And which is, you know, that's strike two now all of a sudden. This guy, I'm giving him four strikes, okay? I'm giving him four strikes. British rules. Is he reading how to win friends and influence people?

No. Third strike is what he's reading. Jeff. He's reading the autobiography of Anthony Keat is. Oh, you told me this story. Keep going. Keep going. That's right.

And the fourth strike on this guy was that his bookmark was a $100 bill. Oh, my God. I don't know how else to make yourself that much more obnoxious on a Friday night. Worst guy. Like that, to me, that is attention-seeking behavior, and I don't appreciate it. Isn't that nuts? It's just the funniest book, too. It's what's baffling to me, the type of guy that I picture doing that

It's odd to me that he went with scar tissue, the Anthony Keytta's autobiography. You would think that a guy pulling that move would have Googled a smarter book. Yeah, you'd think that any infinite jest or like a very feminine leaning book. Well, Jeff, it's funny you mentioned that because the doorman at the Dresden in Los Phila, who was wearing a vest and talking quite a lot to every lady that comes in. One time he was reading infinite jest. He had it on his stool and he was sitting and reading it between people walking in. And that bookmark, again, Friday night, that bookmark was, oh, three pages into that thousand page books.

And then he didn't get past the copyright yet. I went back for dinner like a year later. I saw the same guy and I told my friend like, this guy was reading it from Jess one time. We went and we looked and he had the book sitting there on it. He wasn't reading it this night, but it was sitting there on the stool with the like the bookmark somewhere in the middle. a year later still like this is my book I'm just chipping away at

every couple days I move the bookmark a few pages and uh ridiculous you know that that's happening with infinite jest it's happening with salt

the book salt by Mark Kirlanski how do you think I feel I'm reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry and I'm not reading that's a long ass book Judge Jeff

that's a short book I need to learn how to read again I think how about this what if I wrote a book and put it out and it's big Simon and Huster

book. That would encourage me to learn to read. No, the title, it looks like a fascinating book. Maybe it looks like espionage type novel. It's called the D. The Fascinateo. It's called. Oh, it's called what? It's called The Decoy.

And then it's not a real book. It's just blank pages, but it's, you hold it up and you want to look like you're reading. It's really cheap. It's a dollar. The decoy. And there's a little pocket in it that has a slops for nips and tiny straws. Tiny straw.

So you look like you're reading, but you're drinking Fireball. you're smiling and the straw is going up and through the top of your teeth that's how small it is you know you're smiling that big book smile he he woohoo jeff now you mentioned you haven't read a lot recently i understand but when i come out with my uh novel um malicious intent you're not going to be able to put it down it's a page turner wow tim i'm going to be first in line at barns and noble at the glendale americana and i'll do a book signing event there you're going to get my john handgack buddy right on the cover too

that'd be funny to uh if you write a book and we like we have to go read it but we're like Tim we read all the like the subsequent leadups to you're like no but you have to read the last one the last version like really changes at the I don't know I got way ahead of myself on this idea

um you know when your friend does a thing you're uh I did a thing you want to support your friends but the biggest ask is read my book And I've had people DM me, I don't, can't believe they thought I had this type of sway in the literature world, but I've had people like DM me and being like, can I send you an advanced copy of my book because I need quotes, you know? And I've been like, no. Like I can't read a whole book. Like you're doing a favor. Save your postage. Yeah. It will be a waste of your postage and your advanced copy. Sorry. I'll tell you what We've had a nice conversation here And I've just sipped this drink away

It was a nice A nice little sipper there That's the Hanford test He doesn't really care so much He's not talking about the palate Or the flavor combination But he says if his hand is going to the drink And it's going down the gullet

That says something And it says Because initially I said I don't know about this drink But the The ingredients sort of melded together better by the end of the drink. Or maybe I'm just getting a little happy.

Okay. I think you're definitely getting a little happy. Oh, really? But so that recipe we did was credited to the book, Harry McElone's book, the ABC, the ABC, Harry's ABC of mixing cocktails. That was the recipe that appeared. ABC.

Invented by his bartender jock. Now, would you guys like for round two to try the modern day recipe as featured in liquor.com. Yeah, Tim, take us into the future. Take us into the present day. Okay, well, you're going to need 1.21 gigawatts and 88 miles per hour because we are taking the DeLorean into geek shit heaven.

I'm loving this, Tim. You don't care how facetiously I do it. You just enjoy it. This is awesome. And Marty's there too, man. Okay, here is the modern day recipe from liquor. Um, yes. Two ounces, bourbon or rye whiskey.

Two ounces. Woo. Okay. One ounce dry vermouth. Oh. Quarter ounce lemon juice. Ah. One to two dashes of grenadine.

That I don't get. I'm curious. I'm curious. I guess drips. I don't really know how to dash grenadine. Yeah. Unless, unless there is some grenadines that come with that, like. I've never seen that.

Dash your thing like an. Megastura? Me neither. I mean, I've heard of Dasher and Dancer and Common and Cupid and Donna and Blitzin.

Anyway, and the final ingredient is, speaking of dashes, one dash orange bitters. Great. And no Dash Rendar yet, huh?

Oh, you mean from Shadows of the Empire? I love that book. And video game on that book. I was showing up with, I never read the book, but I played the N64 video game.

You know, know what's funny about this drink. I bought Grenadine at my liquor store and they only had a big like a giant bottle of it. And it was very cheap. It's not the, uh, it's not roses. It's some other brand. And, you know, I looked at the price and I was like, okay, I'll take that. And then I went to the grocery store and it was, I got the Angus store bidders because they didn't have, but they also had, like the regular roses small one. And it was the same, the small one was the same price as the huge one I just bought. So I'm curious what this, uh, Grenadine's going to be. Um, wait, do you know the brand?

Are you okay? No, I keep missing my fucking mute button. Mike, you got a, that's a wild, nasty cough you got there. This, this is a cough that is, uh, the result of like being away for three weeks and traveling and it's just like settled in my, it's one of these. I know what's going on things. You got it, you got a mucinex glob in there. Oh, yeah.

You know, that, not to paint a picture for the audience, but, Jeff, did you know that Mike was my house guest? for two full weeks? Yeah, yeah, I did know that. Could you believe that? I even, I asked him several times, do you want me to leave? He said, no.

Because I, I offered, I was like, hey, you can stay with me. It's week two. Well, here's what you're doing wrong, Jeff. Take you off Tim's hands a little bit. We've heard about Jeff's, what do you make, eggs in the hole? Yeah, I can do that.

Oh, no, Jeff. Any type of egg. I've mastered that. Mike, let's hear about some of Tim's breakfasts. We had, we had, we had scrambled eggs with a little cherished like Verdei chili

and put in little tacos We also had some nice soft scrambled eggs with kimchi Kimchi That kimchi is going to be my new thing I gotta get some kimchi Good for the gut Bad for the butt

What did we have You made another really good thing But you made hash browns That's the way to Mike's heart Also is hash brown I'll admit the hash browns Didn't work I bought one of those bags

Of the shredded potato and I fried it up as best I could, but it didn't, it wasn't diner quality. Oh, yeah, you were saying you were, I think you have to do those like little, like little bits at a time so they don't like overly sog themselves. Yeah, you need to like to make sure it's spread out pretty thin on the pan

because it's all about the browning. All about the brown. Are you saying some browning happened in the bathroom later on after that? Well, later, yeah, much later on. Yeah, about like six to eight hours after the breakfast. Yeah. Oh, and I made a. stew for the household.

What do you think of that? Now, there's a house guest for you. This guy, and Jeff, he doesn't eat one of your electric crock pot slow cookers. This guy does it with the pot on the stove, slow simmering a stew all day. Tim, good food. Good food takes time, Timothy. I do like split my time just because I like to take the burden off of people. But, Jeff, I think your couch is a little tough to sleep.

You've mentioned this. It gets my back a little tweak the lower back. You said this to my face. Yes, but I'll also say Mike told me my couch was hurting his back, and yet he still continued to sleep on it. So maybe the common element here, Mike, is the back. No, I said my back was fine. Maybe the breakfasts were so good.

You asked me specifically if my back hurt. I said it was good because I like your couch. Oh, that's true. I felt like somewhere in the midpoint of the trip, there was some back complications. There was some back talk for me. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. Eat the rest of your eggs. Shut up.

You break them, you eat them. No, also we had that Tom Cahill method. That thick cut bacon. Ooh, we. Jeff, I was getting bacon from the butcher counter. This guy's slicing it up thick, baby. Cool. Any more food talk we can just get through real quickly, and then we'll go in a round two.

All right, here we go. Let's go to round two, Jeff. When we get back, you can talk about a geek thing. I don't want to. I do. Okay, fine. Mike, you can talk about a second. Oh, he hit the mute on that cough.

I thought he was going to say something. I got it to the mute. When we get back, Psychedelic Athletics with Mike Hanford. The other thing about my cough is I just got, they turn the heat on really high around here. So I'm dry. The heat is home.

All right. That's enough of that talk. All right. We'll be right back with more The Sloppy Boys. And we're talking around two. After this. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. yet we like money

We spend it in his daddy or sunny Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And we're back with round two scofflaw in hand. Less cartoonishly pink, I would say. Yeah, this, this looks a little more like the picture that we had on liquor.com. It's a little orangeer, a little more. Still a pinkish hue. Yeah.

He's got the hue. Huh? What's that from? got to give it to Jeff. He's got the hue. Seinfeld. I forget what it's about, but a pinkish hue. She's got the hue.

Is that about the cheek being a pinkish? Yeah. Sips. Yeah, Sips. We already took mine. Interesting. It's interesting that the same ingredients used in a different proportion could amount to such a distinct taste. Different proportions.

Oh, same ingredients used. say? What about the recent edition of the orange bidders? Oh. Fuck me. One dash. Not coming through. Yeah, one. I put two dashes. But yeah, it's like with the dashes stuff, I don't know about that. You can barely taste it.

Yeah, I did two plops, grenadine, two dashes of orange. It's funny, Tim, you were like, hey, if you need an orange bitters, I got one. I have two orange bidders hanging out on the cart. The fee and the Angostura. We're lousy with orange bitters here at the sloppy boys LLC.

Wait, Angostura brand orange bidders? Yeah, that's what you have, too. Oh, that's the one that's got like the big orange splotch on the big paper label. Right. You know, I got the Angasora bidders too because they're nice. Well, I needed some. They're nice. And you know how the Angostor, we all know, has the oversized paper.

And it's usually like very papery paper. The turtle on the bottle. This right? Yeah. This one was like still above, you know, It's still turtlenecking, but like made of like plasticy, like rapid, you know, regular like label stuff. And I was like, well, that feels like a step in the wrong direction.

It feels like it's lost its authenticity. Yeah. And I've complained about the large bottle of bidders also and then has a larger label that is shooting up. Use the regular label and the large bottle and you finally fit. Or I'll shake you around like one of your bottles of Eggastora. I switched This is still a very dry drink I like how booze forward

This is stiff This is stiff earth We gotta get Mike to the morgue here Jesus Christ No I know It's the dry air Jeff you never Oh go ahead Tim

Well I switched to roses Grenadine for this one And I want to say to all the haters To all you Cocktail sophisticates We'll play ball with you When it comes to the vermouth Oh yeah

We'll use some nice fresh vermouth And everything But if you want me to hate roses grenadine that's a bridge too far i think i've got i have three grenadines in my fridge uh there's there ain't another rog's grenadine is fucking delicious i don't care if it's corn syrup and artificial flavors is delicious you know what i got to make more part of my life is rose's lime yes ah yeah yeah i like lime juice but so what is it a gimlet yeah that 50 50 gimlet is great yeah i got to do that more in my life it's important to me that i drink more gimlets

in 2026 jeff i almost said 24 geez i really feel like i'm with doc these days uh yes jeff do that do that a gimlet is 50-50 what roses lime and gin yeah most gimlets are uh two ounces gin one ounce gin one ounce lime one ounce simple syrup but then we dug up from a rayman chandler novel half roses sweetened lime juice and half gin and we liked it

and we were like it kind of created its own little glassy thing and in fact me and Jeff were recently at Vandelle the new cocktail bar in those fields

and their gimlet was lean it was homemade and they used their in-house lime juice but they had clarified it and they were they were going

for a roses a homemade roses they'd clarified their drinks and they'd also clarified their menu to Tim and I when we got to asking questions and they would answer. What is all this stuff? Allow us to clarify. Please.

And also let the record show. Mike, you were invited to that little meetup and you declined our invitation. I declined due to the company. Oh, oh, it was just that. No, I had other things to do. Mike, can I tell you the main points you missed this bar we're checking out? A lot of, uh, a lot of, uh, fruit forward type of cocktails

but not too sweet clarified like fresh juices that were strained and clarified in the house so there's a drink called the pineapple there's a drink called the blood orange but they're not flabby they're not juicy they're they're nice and stiff but here's the other move

they're there are martinis there's a $9 or $16 option 16 has a side car if you just want a little $9 martini you can get a little tiny martini but you know your boy the cat man he exercised the large option. Of course. Of course. Anyone

in the right mind would, unless you're, I don't know, going to drive some of the airport or go to work. No, Tim, that was the, that was the martini that came with a twist and an olive, if I recall. And I used both, because any food given to me, it gets consumed.

That's, there's something, that's called something, isn't it? The twist and olive option? The kitchen sink. The kitchen effing sink. God, we should open, we got to open up a Nashville chicken tenders place called the kitchen sink and we put all kinds of stuff on top of your tenders. Yeah. They do do that.

And, and, and maybe the sort of bowls, the dishware kind of looks like a sink. I don't know. Yeah, you get the fries in a sink. You get served in a sink. So it comes in a little sink. I wouldn't mind if it was in a bathtub. That's kind of good. Yeah.

maybe maybe the maybe just the dips are all in a in sinks around the restaurant you have to go scoop it out with your hand yeah yeah maybe I don't know there could be something there it is funny that the Nashville chicken restaurants especially in L.A.

are called stupid shit like there's one called best fucking chicken I hate that with like they use an asterix and it's like best eff fucking chicken or whatever but now did did shit my dad says start that whole thing Oh, that was, that's...

Well, don't for... Hey, Mookie is accountable, too. He was in Don't Trust the Bee in Apartment 23. We have to hold our friend accountable. I heard he did trust the bee. Isn't that what his character did? His character, Flowsy, trusted the bee. He trusted her.

He was peeing all the time in front of her, so... He'd do anything for her. How about here's a show me and my allergen, allergist should come up with. Don't swat... Don't... Don't swat the bee? Don't rile up the bee in my apartment

please. I'm allergic. You speak of Dr. Eichis. That's right. The one and the only, Dr. Eichis, his team got me off of being allergic to me. Now, as a proud Los Felizian, I support small business. I'm rooting for a lot of the businesses around here. But when we already had hot chikos and angry birds,

which then had to become angry chicks. Angry chicks with a Z. Because they got sued by Angry Birds, which I stand by Angry Birds to this day. sure but then you've got loyalty to them i do too i love that game i shot a commercial for them so i'm in their pocket oh yeah but then so the time honored tacos and machos tacos closed down then we got best effin chicken fuck off oh that's the place on vermont yeah vermont prospect i was i yeah we passed that place i was so dismayed to see that it's a bum i i really enjoyed that plate not

that i ate it all of them and they they have a wall they have a wall that says show us your best fucking chicken dance and like with like a hashtag it's like they're trying to they're trying to create like an instagram craze on their sidewall it's so this is a big problem in this neighborhood though is like how do you freshie all over again there's some corporate research analytics telling restaurant groups that it's like there's some hipsters and lor shielish but like on that corner you have like miratee is is one of the top five bars in in in North America, there's, like, there's tasteful stuff. Really? Yeah.

That, Amirte is where, uh, what used to be, um, the Rockwell table and stage. Wow. I like that place too. I like, uh, I like their back patio. Oh, good for them. Their back patio is incredible. Like a multi-tiered greenhouse patio with like a giant tree going up the back.

That's a beautiful patio. We should go there. We should go there next time I'm there because, uh, and be like, hey, we're checking out all the top, uh, bars in the. country and that'll just be our first one we should call ahead and say hey we're the sloppy boys LLC we're checking out the best bars in the country and see what they uh come up with they'll be like okay like we have a very affluent clientele already and there's probably people more famous than you hear tonight already okay well all that aside okay uh we have a fucking podcast about cocktails so why don't you check why do you recheck that reservation list bud hey why don't we put you in touch

with um badger beves or uh reverend guitars and uh we'll see if you start singing a different tune they're like yeah the owner of badger beves is here right oh but with the chicken finger place it just bothers me that then like on this on in a in a neighborhood that risk that appreciates good food and would would love to have more good food when a place is opening up like best eff and chicken that sounds like a um a food truck in sandburned dino or something and they come into the neighborhood like we're cool and it's like no offense to food trucks no offense to san bernadito tim take it away food trucks why the punny cute names you know food truck culture we had three years of it being like well there was always like authentic taco trucks and then roy choy came out with the uh cogey truck and then why did they all have to have the cute names and the cute shit and you're just getting any food i'm walking up to the truck and getting mashed potatoes fuck off because yeah why the truck to these businesses need to use these cute little unbelievable. I'll kill you for that.

Tim, we got to start a thing called like what the truck and it's a food truck. That's good idea. That would make so much money. That would make, even in previously smart, uh, full of integrity, Los Phila's. The culture is shifting around here. We've got West Side money and West Side boneheads moving in. If we started a food truck called What the Truck, we would be billionaires.

No, no. Jeff, you know what? For a wink to the assholes, it's a brick and mortar called What the Truck and we have a food truck themed menu. Ooh, I like that. Let's just put a whole fucking food truck in a brick and mortar.

As if there's not already one of those at L.A.X and people are like, well, that's getting cool. Fuck off. Wait, which one's that at L.A.X? I think it's the El Cholo truck or something. I forget what, yeah.

I know I've seen one in there. I can't remember what it's. It's right next to, there was like a, there wasn't there like a Coles bar, like a knockoff? I feel like I got like, yeah. Yeah, they've got a lemonade there and something else.

Lemonade. That cool refreshing thing. It is so funny that L.A.X makes it as all airports too. L.A.X makes an effort to like have L.A. businesses represented at the terminals, but they're only the ones that can like afford to do that. So you're like,

Gladstone seafood. And you're like, okay, that place in Malibu. Okay. Rock and Brews. Yeah. Or fat sals just opened up. I walked by the. rock and bruise the other day. Oh, Fat Sal's is a

great example. That is the last thing I want to eat before going on a meal. Yes. Fat Sells is in West Hollywood. It's owned by Turtle for Andorosh. Nobody likes it. They pile a bunch of, like, they're like, we have chicken tinders and tots and cheese and bacon on our subs. Nobody cares about it. And

they sat there for 15 years. No one gave a fuck. And then they just now opened at the Delta Terminal. It's so weird. Man, yeah, how about those places that it's like the menus are just each item is like, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. They put this and they put a whole other type of meal in bread.

That's fat sales to a tea. It's like chicken parm with chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst, the face of that whole culture is an Instagram account called Devour Power. And they used to be a hot young couple and now they're an old ugly couple. But they just, their only way of talking about food is like, this. burger hat first it gets three patties then it gets a layer of tots then it gets a layer of tendies then it gets a layer of flaming hot cheetos mashed up and then and it's like how is that good

in any way it oh it's like it's i also i hate the word tendies also and fingies yeah that doesn't help well it's a chicken tendy sando of that helps mike i got a dingy on the sando jeff said he didn't like that word we looked into it it's actually the japanese word for sandwich so they're not just being cute. Interesting. Tim, I like it now. If you have one of those hip egg sandwiches that it's like

with a crust cutoff Japanese style, they're allowed to say sando. But everyone else is appropriating. Katana Kitten was on the list of like the top 25. But anyway, but the, but the sando you're talking about was a,

it's like it's, it's really good. It's a grilled cheese. Katana Kitten grilled cheese. It's very good. and then there was I think also like some of that like a little fried baloney

it was great like thick fried baloney oh I went there once geez another date story I'm full of date stories these days I went on a date there once

with a wonderful woman I was trying to impress and as well there I say hey they got these great sandwiches we got to get one and I had no idea what the name was and the guy came up but I was like hey maybe

let's get one of those sandwiches he's like we don't have any sandwiches I like, no, it's like grilled cheese or like, uh, bologna. He's like, no, we don't have that. And I was like, Jesus. I just, I'm trying to get out here, man. I got Ripple A sopped up my last date now this. Sopped her up.

You're screaming this at your server. And he's like, I know that Rible A sopped up the last one. Mike, I'm working with you here, but we don't have that specific sando. We call them sandoes. Well, dude, you know what I'm talking about. I don't, I don't like that he treated you that way. No, we figured he didn't. didn't he was probably new too uh he we we figured out and i got what i wanted and uh did not impress

the date but still i had what i want the food i wanted all right after all that after our journey today yes we must reflect on the scofflaw yeah and where do we enter it into the echelon of drinks we've covered here on pod with our final thoughts michael take it away this is a fun drink I do I like the it's fun to have a drink that came about during Prohibition it was invented during a time

that was called the the big the big drought I didn't know about that I like the national drought it's referred to as the drought I like that I like that this drink is old school I like the name scoffla I like the taste

this is an order again second one's got me flipping my wig it's going to be a fun blowout that we record next. Yeah, and this is a midday record for us, so it feels kind of pink cheeky. It sure does. You know what? The only thing I had to eat for

today, you know what it was? A chicken sando? A bowl of great grain cereal that Mike left a cereal here. I don't ever eat cereal, but Mike... You're fucking eating that? You're not using my milk, I hope. I'm using Mike's milk. Jeff, here's two things about my home.

I only buy oat milk and I never eat cereal. I'm not a big carb guy. This morning I had a big bowl of great grain cereal with dairy milk. I was having a blast. I chopped up one of Mike's bananas into it. Oh, man. He's using all your stuff, Mike. You got my bananas too.

You better get back here. I told you to throw that stuff away. If I can, I can't have it. No one can. I called you from the plane. I don't usually buy the internet, but I called you from the plane. It was, it was delicious. That cereal was not too sweet.

I thought it was going to be a sugar bomb, but it was not. No, I, I, I, when I buy cereal these days, which is not often, but when I do it, it's a stuff like that's like grainy and nutty and yeah, it was almost like a granite one. One step off from a colon blow.

Damn. But yes, order again for me. I like this drink. Very good. Good. Good. Tim? Your thoughts, please. This is an order again. It's a prohibition drink that tastes like

a prohibition drink. Your drink in history. It's fun. And let me tell you one thing. You're probably saying, Tim, when, why? Who, what, when, where, why would I make this? A couple of things. Who? When? You tonight.

There's lots of times you want a little stiffy and you don't want something sweet. Okay, so that's when. What are we still talking about drinking? Especially if you're a whiskey person and you want a little stiffy. But here's why you need this drink in your arsenal. We all know. You bought that bottle of dry vermouth to make martinis. We all know that a good dry martini has maybe a quarter ounce, maybe three drips of, so when you find yourself running against the clock, you have your dry remove in the fridge.

It's been two and a half months and you've got to get rid of it. Have your friends over, make him some scofflaws. Don't let them know you're trying to get rid of the vermouth. Tell them that you're trying to teach them about Harry Craddix bar in Paris. That's a smart idea. Even if you are saying get rid of the vermouth. remove. Even if you tell people that, even if you're up front, even if you're not living

this double life. That's a good idea. Like, hey, I got a bunch of stuff I got to get rid of. Come on over. We'll mix it up. Or my method, live in secrecy and be dishonest to your closest friends. Manipulate them. Jesus. I do

manipulate or not. I do like the idea of saying, bring whatever, you know, let's make any type of vermouth drink. We could make martinis. We get this, that and the other. My friends were looking around the room. They're like, Tim, these gas lights, they're dimmer than usual. I was like, no, these have, I put just as much gas into these lights as usual. And they're like, but it feels dim.

I was like, nope, it's bright. And they started to doubt their own sense of reality. And they went mentally insane. And they're like, well, I guess I better ask Tim about anything because he seems to be the only one who knows. I says a lot of people, a lot of people don't understand you, but I'm the only one you can trust. Where are you going to go, but here? is that gaslighting comes from telling someone that the gas was like that that's where the word comes from there's a movie where a guy did that to his wife so the word came from a movie this one came from

this the name of this drink came from a word contest yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah interesting ways is jeff go ahead so tim you you order again this is a strong order again i like this a lot oh nice it's a strong drink i'll tell you that much wehoo tim i'll echo your sentiment about hey get rid of your vermouth makes a bunch of scofflaws because how many martinis you're going to make it would take you forever to do to go through that dolin making martinis and then if you're if you're going to compound that like let's follow that thread how many steaks do you got to be eaten to drink go through that many martinis and it's on it's not sustainable uh no by the way i'm riding dirty at 27 i had one last week so i'm at 27 ruby and we we settled it at 30

is your hit. I kept saying 36 and your brother said 37, but 30 is nice. We're hitting 30. We're seeing if I can hit 30 if I do, not if I can't, if I naturally hit 30 before the 31st. But my question for you guys is, I want you to force it.

No, but if I'm going to eat the ball drops, I want to see you, oh, the last bite goes down. We talked about at our show at the Mercury Lounge on the 30th. It could be good. It could be Tim's last one or two, I'm thinking. And Jeff and I are ready to fill the space.

Absolutely. If I'm riding at 27, I'm wondering if I can hit 30, this might be perfect for the Mercury Lounge, December 30th. You can't eat three steaks on stage, Tim. You can eat three steaks on stage. He can get two between now and then. I think I'll eat two naturally. But if I were to grub up a steak to the stage, that's fun. And that's just such great showmanship.

and you mean to tell me that tickets are still on sale for that? That's crazy. That's exactly what I'm telling you, Jeff. But my last question to you, which version of the scofflaw did you like better? The original ABCs of mixing cocktails or the updated liquor.com. I am surprised, but I like the first one better. I think it's crazy to say, but I'm a man of the current times.

You know this. I'm a Zoomer, essentially. You're ones and zeros. Even though I was born in 1983. Yeah, you're 6-7. six seven and all that stuff skittity baby seven eight oh I love skippity

toilet and what I think is that the old drink is the best the new drink also has its place it's good too it's an order again absolutely absolutely absolutely

my only thing I would do differently with the first version I would pull back the vermouth half a Half ounce. Okay.

Sorry, quarter ounce, quarter ounce. Mike, I'm totally with you. And this is what pisses me off about vermouth. Every time we try it, it's like, you could use a little less vermouth. True. And here we are. And I use bad vermouth because I just don't respect it as an ingredient.

I know. And I get dog piled and I have to apologize. And I'm the bad guy. I'm starting to feel like a scofflaw with all of my opinions about vermouth. Do you, two guys, feel the same about dry vermouth as you do about sweet red? Because I find sweet red. They're just so different, Tim. Yes, agreed.

Sweet red Italian vermouth is too sweet to drink on its own. But I do find it to be a delectable thing into Manhattan or whatever. Whereas the dry vermouth has this odd flavor that I'm battling. And I put three drips when I'm. and make a dry martini. I do the uh, remove rinse. And I'm always surprised when a bartender's like, what's that?

I'm like, oh, sir, you belong at a dive bar, not this cocktail establishment. I'm patronized. But I, uh, with remuth, I've never, I've had it so often the, the old bad kind that I

can't give you any honest. I don't, I don't like it like on its own, but I can't give you like, oh, I like better than, uh, red versus dry. It's all, I've never gotten a good sample set. Mike, let me ask you this. You are, I'm all ears, Tim. Your co-host who's often ridiculed for making the drinks wrong.

I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. But our listeners said, ridiculed often. I don't like that. I don't like those two words in that order. Drag on line. Yeah, I don't like that either. No, that he likes.

He's okay with being dragged online. I like getting drag. When you're dealing with a bartender, you have these things. We're like, I can't believe this dumb fucker didn't know. about a vermouth rinse. And he's making how much? I should be getting to have his tiffs. I told him what a vermouth rins is.

Get me out of here. But that it just reminded me. I think any bartender worth their salt should have heard of a rinse before. But we were at a cocktail bar, but four days ago, and you ordered a Rob Roy and were given a Roy Rogers, which is a funny classic mistake.

That's right. When you order the Rob Roy, how did you how did you phrase that? Because I myself would never have the balls to just say, I would usually say, hey, do you guys make a Rob Roy?

And then if they say yes, I'd order one, did you just confidently say, hey, I'll have a Rob Roy. I said, Rob Roy, now, asshole. And fast. And he gave me a Roy Rogers said, I'm so sorry,

this is actually a Roy Rogers. I have a cocktail podcast. I do know the difference. No, yeah, I just asked for regular. I said, you know, along with everyone's order. I said, may I have a Rob Roy? And the lady was like, yep, I got you.

Another cough, folks. Now she said the coffee. He caught that one. Now she, when she made the Rob Roy, or sorry, the Roy Rogers. Now I'm confused.

She did come out like with a new drink and was like, oh, sorry, I am new here. So she was literally new stuff. I typically, if I ever go off menu or I'm shooting from the hip, I typically say, do you guys do you guys do

blank, like ask it as a question. But on your advice, I was at the Tamo Shanter a couple days ago and you said, try the Rob Roy. And that's not on the menu. And I just said, I'll have a Tamo Shanter cut, prime rib, tamishander cut,

cream spinach, and I'll have a Rob Roy. Well, that's a Scottish restaurant, Tim. They're going to know what a Rob Roy is. But this is a funny interaction, though, because the waiter. He said, I'll let him. I'll go get him from the back, from the kitchen.

What? The waiter gave me a look like, I, the waiter, don't know this drunk, drink but he said Rob Roy and I said yep and he wrote it down and then he came back with the perfect delicious Rob Roy so the bartender knew but it was kind of funny I was kind of thinking I was imagining I was Mike Hanford I was just con because typically I do a lot of is would you could you do you ease them in nice and slow that's that's fine I would do that like I don't do that and I would none of us do that with like a rum and coke or like gin and tonic but I I just

assume Rob Roy was one of those types of drinks that just like people knew. I thought it was more popular. You know what's really funny is our good friend from the birthday boys, David Ferguson. His one time Dave was ordering for his son and he said, do you guys do a Shirley Temple? And the waitress was like, yeah, we could do that.

And then Dave's son, who's but a boy, loved the Shirley Temple. And then since that day, he always ordered Shirley Temples, but I've heard him order it. And he says, he goes, do you guys do a Shirley Temple? it's so funny to see a tiny little boy Are you guys Jewish early devil? Let's talk cocktails for a second

It's so fun When kids when they like take on their parents affectations or like Like my like Tig used to be like Actually blah blah blah Because you just heard her parents say And I mean it's just like you saw You sound like your parents

I guess yeah yeah Oh man that's that's the apparently kid Like that's the perfect The like somebody in that kid's family said apparently a lot. And then you got this kid in front of a camera. And he like, I guess maybe just picked up the word. But that's where

you get like, apparently, oh. That's the fucking best apparently kid. Yeah, he's good. We love you, apparently kid. He's still out there. He's still doing it, Mike. You can still follow the apparently kid. I don't know that I recommend it. I did check up on him and he's definitely a teenage guy.

He lost the cuteness, but he's still of quality person. You got to wish the best. Quality person. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough sloppy boys, it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Hey, uh, maybe some of you are getting enough sloppy boys. You're seeing us live.

That's the other way. If you're not getting enough sloppy boys, you see us live. You see us live in person at the Somerville Ballroom or the Mercury Lounge coming up in the next couple days. Hope to see you out there, folks. folks we love you we hope you become scofflaws just like us

I've got some my mom God bless my mom she gave me some nice cocktail some new cocktail glasses like some old fashioned glasses Oh I love that And they came with these little ice

Each one has his own ice tray thing For a big round ball Oh, a big round boy. Me, when I make ice cubes, I use ice made clear. The only way to have ice without all that air in it. Oh, that stinky freezer air. These ones my mom gave me are full of air. Mom, I'll talk to her off air.

And speaking of the Rob Roy, I want to talk to if there are people out there listening who are like me and are not really big scotch guys, maybe you don't love the taste, but the bottles are beautiful. Get yourself a bottom shelf, cutty sark, or J&B, and just look at that thing great bottles stare into that bottle folks you're going to see yourself in that bottle

and hey guys you I'm not talking to the folks I'm talking to my co-host I like that we're going into this year we're doing drinks worthy of your attention and your time yeah we're still going to do some weird shit occasionally but I like that we're

this is sort of a return to form for us in 2026 taking on cocktails that are historic in a way. The sloppy boys. Strong like bull. Strong.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. I love it. Bye folks. Peace. Bye. See you next time. All the whole rays