The Sloppy Boys - 274. The Lineup with Mike Mitchell (Live in Boston)

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

The guys go to Mike Mitchell’s hometown of Boston to revisit one of the most formidable challenges ever faced on the pod. THE LINEUP1 pint Guinness1 shot Jagermeister1 Jager Bomb (with Red Bull)1 can Bud LightPrepare all drinks and set them in a line. Finish quickly. Recipe via Mike MitchellWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What a lot. Oh, shit. What a fucking mess. What a crew. What a crowd. Crystal Ballroom looking good. Look at you. Real good.

Everyone looks great, including us, especially us. Welcome to the sloppy boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Hanford. Hi. Thank you. Tim Calpaccus. What a hand up? And joining us for a very special episode,

Boston's own Spoon Man Michael Mitchell. What's up? She winks. We were thinking, like, he might start singing, so let's just let it go. I found this backstage. I thought it would be a good prop. Oh, what that.

You brought that yourself. I thought you brought this, I think you got it from first. It was a Christmas gift for my mom. It's a little for the listener. It's a ping pong paddle base. What do you think so far? So far, people, this?

Or are you thinking this? Thumbs up or thumbs down? Mitch, you're supposed to be the veteran podcaster amongst us. I'm one of the people. You can't come on stage and say, I found this. It's an audio medium. I'm a guest tonight, baby. I found this.

A thumbs up and thumbs down sign. Are you happy? Yeah, I would have loved to find them. I do like a crowd happily cheering for the thumbs down. What did everyone get? No, let's not get into that. Oh, I think it's fun. Wait, real quick, a little behind the scenes drama. Mitch, I saw you almost fall under the same.

I almost fell off. I almost fell. I think that the host would let you know there's a big old step on the way out. It's like three or four feet down. Yeah, it's a four-foot step. No, if you fall off this stage, though, you're done. Oh, you're done. You're done. This has got to be six feet high.

This is stuff we go through all the time. You guys don't know what it's like. If we fall off the stage, we're in big trouble, folks. We're always falling off the stage, always getting hurt. Hey, welcome to my city. Yeah, this is cool. Oh, yeah. Summerville, Massachusetts.

It feels like summer. I got to take this sweater up. It is funny We've been to Boston a ton Michael Oh wow Yeah Yeah I do look good in that sweater

We're wearing his own Waring his own t-shirt This t-shirt I can tell you I'm very nervous Why? Why? The occasion We're doing a big

We're doing a big thing here It's a big We're doing the biggest thing Like this is the biggest drink we've This is a big drink. This is the big boy. And I'm not sure if anyone the audience is going to do it.

They should not do it. It's perfect timing. There's a big ice storm. Is there? Oh, my God. Yeah. The ice storm is coming. It's bad weather to do it.

It's horrible. Horrible time to have a drinking challenge for your audience. And then everybody's driving home. But Mitch, we're going to do this lineup. And then later you're going to go out and show us a night on the town, right? Yeah.

That's true. Didn't you just hear the song, Mitch? We want to go, on the town on the town I was listening to the song a little bit the bar is closed

at like 1230 we'll figure something out it's a Sunday night probably stuff closes extra yeah yeah yeah everyone will be closed up and you know close the bar

and go home and talk about the Simpsons and what happened on tonight's episode on animation domination yeah all of animation domination I had a lie to my mom she was like

she's like should I go to the show And I'm like, no. That was the lie that she should go to the show? No, I guess I was being truthful the whole time. I was saying, you should not go to the show. Because I had to, like, well, I had to lie to her about what it was. She was like, what are you doing?

I'm like, oh, it's a crazy show. You should come. But she would be very upset if she saw me doing this. Yeah, I, I, I don't like it. Same thing. I told my family, like, don't come to this one. You don't need to see this. You don't need to see what I did.

Is your mom aware of the lineup as a thing? When I would do it back in the day, my dad, my dad, said that I would be I would he was like you're you're the town fool that's what you were saying to me before doing that for doing the line up in a well you would do it in the town square but he would be

like uh he's like uh you look like the town fool boy you look like the town fool and I was like it is it's not a big deal and then they put in little Yeager meister no I'm sorry they put a gold slager nips in my stock because they didn't understand what it was yeah they got it wrong. But that's their way of being like

here you go, Mr. Lineup. Yes, yes. This is it the right now? It's just, it's like you being in your 20s but the version of getting the wrong video game or something it's Yeager, not Schlaugger.

I did that this, I kind of blew up like that on my mom this Christmas. I opened some what happened? I opened some jeans. I was like ah, these are Levi's. I wanted Lee. Vise. I love them.

I love you, mom. Hey, wait, I got a question. We were all home with our families this week over the holidays. It's an alcohol podcast. What are you drinking at home? Oh. What are you drinking at home over the hall? Good question.

I was doing some old fashions over the break here. Making them yourself? My brother and I were making them, yeah. Oh, he was making it. What about the parents? Do the parents get in on? I don't have drinking parents. I don't have drinking parents.

My mom tries. Can't do it. She tries to do a lineup. She can't do it. I want to be like Jeff. She can't keep up, man. Her fucking line-up time would be like six minutes.

I'd be like, oh my God. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. I'm doing a lot of, well, this time I was doing a lot of Cuba Libres. Oh, right, right, right. Because I mix them up.

Rum and Coke with lime. Rum and Coke with lime. Bacardi whites. Or if you don't have Coke, ginger beer. Ooh. With the Bacardi. I did down east.

I'm doing a lot of down east ciders. No, this, okay. What's that? What's that? Down east cider. Down east cider. Oh, down east. Ciders.

Yes, yes, yes. Down east. We're talking apples. Yeah, apple ciders. Yeah. Apple in its driest form or? I would say it's quite wet. Yes.

I think so. That's what I'm thinking. Then I know exactly what you're talking about. That's what, that's what cider officiados are thinking when they drink. Oh, this is a wet one. Oh my God, this one is simply drenched. This is not like the normal apple I eat.

Give me some of that apple dust to even this out. Mitch, you didn't become like a cider exclusively guy at one point. I'm a cider exclusive now. I remember for years at bars we would all drink the same thing. Yes, well. And then A couple of years ago

Oh, we would. My bartender, give us four the same thing. You got it, boys. We had no idea what it was. Delicious. And then later, we started going to the bars and I'd be like,

hey, get you drink, get you a beer, same as always, and you go, cider, please. Cider for me, please. And then you'd say, every time, dry, a dry cider. Did I say dry? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I like them sweet too. I mean, but like, I don't know. Well, I guess my points out the fucking window. I think you're lying. I think you're lying to the people here. I would get a sweet side. I would do a dry cider occasionally.

But I liked sour beers. Do you remember that? That was the thing I got for a long time. Nasty. Yeah, I'm not a sour too much. Yeah, not too much of the sour for me. What's a snake bite? A snake bite is a...

Come on, Mitch. Well, I mean, I know it's a reptile. It's a reptile. attack, but other than that. A long, armless reptile? Is the Snigby? Is it cider and beer?

Half B. I want to say it's half cider. Cider and beer. Cider and beer. Cider and beer. Oh, I would always order a snake bite around St. Patrick's.

At the Tamo Shanter. Yeah. I yes. I also drink a lot of beer at my holidays. Thank you. I just, I knew I had another one.

I just tell you. This is, for me, to do the lineup in front of a Boston crowd, for me, this is like the end of eight mile for me. Yeah, right, right, right. So I'm nervous. Please welcome Twisted Metals to Anthony Mackey. You know that he used, Anthony Mackey was surprised by the raps he was dissing him with.

B rabbits? B rabbits' raps were surprised so he didn't know, so he was insulting him in real time. And that's why he cried. Wow. Because he was saying, like, you went to private school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he didn't know. I thought this was cool insights. You went to private school, but you're a fool. Well, I think it was a bad rap than that if I remember. And now get out of here. That's the new rule. That one could have been. I remember that.

Devastating stuff. Yeah. I remember, oh, you got me bad. You fucker. This is, this for me is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, it's, it's nerve racking.

Yeah. There's, we, It feels different. We come to Boston a lot, but being in Boston with Mike Mitchell. Yeah. It's like being in New York with slimer. I know you.

But I do, I do feel like I got the key in the scene. I've been out in New York with slimer a few times, and it is, it's, people are expecting them to jump in their hot dog cart and eat up their hot dogs. I hug Mitch back stage it.

It's kind of like having slimer in Boston, too. Well, I hope there's, a lady slimer for me out there somewhere. There is. So what is, this is my first time in Somerville. We've done a show in like Cambridge once before. What's, uh... We got the Somerville theater right next door. I checked in.

Checked showtimes for Marty Supreme. The last one's at 7.15. He offered me a ticket. I almost took it. But right next door, great theater. You guys aren't going to be able to see it. I, uh, yeah, it looked like a cool theater. I saw, what was it, slut cracker? There was something called the slut cracker. What is that? It's not like maybe a horror movie or something. What is Sloth Cracker?

It's a cracker of sluts. The nutcracker's a dildo. The nutcracker's a dildo. Santa's a bong. What are we doing? What are we doing? Yeah, come on. Reindiers.

The Reindiers are hashtags. What do they do anymore? Hashtacks. How many hashtags do you got for Christmas? Eight tiny hashtags. And an ad symbol at the front. Well, I feel caught up with my boys and with the city of summer.

I'm not ready, and I'm scared. I know. Well, we should talk about that. We should discuss. I wish I was at the mum's spaghetti part of eight mile. Where he throws up. That's his most nervous part. Oh, Jesus.

You want to be at the part where he's eating it and then the wrap off is canceled. Wrap off, is that right? Yes. Am I still hit? Like in that movie to depict, like, what's good rapping and bad rapping. If you need the viewer to all agree, like, that was a good freestyle, that was bad. When Eminem, like, does a bad job, he just totally freezes up and he's totally silent.

And then that's like, you don't want to do that. That's the worst job you could do. Yeah, that would be so... Bitch! Mitch, come on, come on, come on. Mitch, podcast. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. That's what they say in the movie.

They say rap, rap, rap? Oh, joke, joke. I thought you're saying joke, joke, joke. Do we get into some booze news? Don't worry, Mitch. Before we get into the drink of the day, we've got to get through booze news. What is this for?

Does anyone know? You brought it on. You've got to get away from me. You still have to describe what this is. It's a thumbs up, thumbs down, ping pong battle. Oh, Marty Supreme. Oh, Marty Sue. you got that of our Supreme's house.

Okay, this Boozner's theme has got a New England theme to it. See if you get the reference. A bib-bip-bip-bid. The booths. Come on, boys, make it happen. Chit-chat's done.

Still there yapping. Cue the theme. Next segment of the show. What is up? What is down? What's the talk of the town? Look it up. Check the reviews

And tune in Let's listen to Who's News In 7? But first I got a question Did you know They made a big buzz ball Ducks is cool Mike is spent

Tim's talking 33% Turn it off Well I Wow Holy shit That theme was sent to us by a hard LaBargue. And he got the Buse,

News, Steve, email at the Sloppy Boys Podcast at Gime. Are you in the house? No, we just like him. You just like him? He didn't calm? The guy didn't come? He liked Hardy, too. I think it's more exciting

to have a Hargleabarg fan in the crowd. That was really good. There's also a lot of, let's be fair, in Boston, there's a lot of decoy Harglobarks out there. You think you got the real one. He's not the real guy. You're not a Hargla Barg at all.

Do you know what that song was from? The Wonder. It's Foxwood. Foxwoods Casino. That's right. I've seen those commercials. Foxwoods. That's how it ends.

That was really well done. Yeah. Harderable. It was crony. It was almost Seth MacFarlan level. Croon. Dude, it was not that good. Have you been to Foxwoods?

Did we do our show at Foxwoods? I had COVID. I was very sick. You said, don't test yourself. You. He's kind of a bad guy, huh? Oh, very bad guy. I still like him anyway.

No, he's not a good guy. No, he's a nice. No, I was very sick. Turns out I got COVID. Romandi, who's here. Romandi's here. There's a whole Quincy crew that's here. Romandie kissed me on the cheek,

dressed as John Adams, and I said the next night got COVID for me. I gave him COVID, yep. But we played at, you guys never played with those casinos? You should go play one of those casinos. We've never been We never played at one of those casinos You got you got a Foxwoods

And you got the other whatever the fuck The other one is That's Mohegan Sun Mohegan Sun Oh he's son yeah Wait isn't there Mohegan Sun in L.A.? All right

Westily I remember begging my parents To let me go see Colin Mockery at Mohegan Sun Not on a school night Tim Oh I bet you had a

good set that night too. Damn, that sucks. I heard about he was doing great shows. You heard about that set that night? Yes, yes. He had the best suggestion. Okay, so for boo's news, I wanted to circle back to something that has come up

here in Boston before. Did anyone see us in February at the city, Winery? All right. Okay, okay. Well, Mitch, you came up in conversation in that show because we were talking about,

we were trying to figure out what's the Boston beer. And then I said that I had expected that Sam Adams would be over time. Sam Adams, you would think Sam Adams. You would think. You would think. You always told me now, Bud Light is, I think it's a Boston beer. I do. So we asked...

The most popular beer in all of America. I mean, yeah, I guess, yes. The second most popular beer. Modelo. You're right. You're right. You're right. Oh, you upset those guys. We got walkouts. Those are the Hargleberg fans, too.

We need those guys. See, guys. They heard Harglobarg's song, and now they're done. I don't think they're going to play it again. Let's get out of here. We always close with the Booznor's theme again. So what was interesting, Mitch, that night we said, like, hey, Sam Adams or Bud Light.

And we got a lazy, smattering for each of them. There was not hometown. Yeah, right, right. So do we're going to let this audience decide? But here's,

there's a new challenger that night that the crowd told us about. So folks, by round of applause, I want to hear Bud Light or Narragansett. Bud Light? Narragansett.

Thank you. The only, the only peak during Bud Light was a lady saying Narragansett. I didn't see some. Some people not vote, but whatever. What are my Quincy guys at?

And folks, you got to vote. You got to vote. Those of you didn't vote. You got a vote. You got to vote. It doesn't matter who for, right, everybody? Right. You can't get mad if someone doesn't vote the same way as you.

Just get out there and vote. Yes. Tonight. Let's go vote tonight. Oh, fuck. We're going to do this stupid fucking drink. I know. I'm kind of Jones before. Wait, wait, wait, we haven't even wrapped up. Oh, booze news.

We haven't wrapped up booze. Let's get into it. Do we wrap up booze news? Wrap it up. That's it for booze news. One second here. A little traveling morning radio show you got here. My heart's going like a little... From those sound effects? It's scared me.

But I, no, I'm getting nervous to do this. You're like the ambassador of this drink. It's not an easy drink. to do, God damn it. That's the side shot you guys gave me back there. It's not an easy drink to do. It's not easy. You should be a lovable mascot for this drink. The lineup,

in fact, I'm gonna tell him this. This is the last lineup I'm ever doing. This is it. Whoa. That's not a deal. You don't mean that. You don't mean that. I do. You know what? This is the last drink I'm ever having. No. Alcoholic or otherwise.

This is the last four drinks I'm having real fast. Well, I had it, Mitch pulled out an underburne. I had one of those for the break. It was fun. Over the, over the winter break? Yeah, I ordered for Christmas when I was home for Christmas. Oh, all right.

When did you have it? A few days ago, and I thought I brought it out for my brother and one of our friends. I was like, this could be great. Did you find it in your stocking? No, I bought them myself. Oh. Yeah.

It was that kind of Christmas for all Mike Hanford this year. Were you up in Rochester, or were you? No, I was in disclosed location. Undisclosed location. Oh, all right. A bunker. I'm not going to, I don't tell my whereabouts to a crowd of untrustworthy people. Look at these people.

They bought tickets to come watch us drink. My last two shows I did was this and a live power hour. I'm just doing drinking shows. Oh, what was that for the Gabor's? Power hour. I feel very, very much in the side show level of my life. That's right. That's right. So,

Gavis was like, we're only doing it for ten years and that's going to be it and then he came back for 11th. He came back from the 11th. Let's hope Tarantino does the same thing. Jeff, I agree with you. Hey, he's kind of like this crowd like, he's kind of like Tom Brady. Don't tander to them.

Right. Hey, we had a big win today, didn't we, folks? This guy's a Bill's fan, by the way. He jumps around. I don't give him a fuck. You're sick, fuck. I'm a sick fucker. Well, you always bet me. You always try to bet me one game out of the year,

20 bucks straight up. I stopped doing that because you didn't enjoy it. Yeah, no. Never fun for me. It's taking your money. All right, let's... Well, I would like... Yeah, let's...

Mitchell, while you gather your courage, I would like to... I'm going to introduce the drink, and I'm going to do it... I'm an artist, so I'm going to do it the way that comes most natural to me. Before we do that, can I take a little poll?

Who here has... heard us do the lineup before. Who's heard that episode? Okay. So you guys know what you're ready for. Good. Damn. This is just to get us in the right mode.

Jeff, hit it. See, on our show's fun, Mitch? Yeah. What's going on here? There's not normally this much before the... Is there more of it? I'll drink again is beer.

I'll drink a... a whole pint. I'll drink a Yeager shot. I'll drink it all night. You know I'll do a Yeager bomb and a Bud Light.

Yes, it's true. Dude's right down the line. Oh! Has four parts two. To it. If you don't know, if you don't know what they are, I will tell you right now A Guinness pine and a Yeager mice

Yes that's the first two things there are And a Yeager bomb and a Bud Light That all is all of the stuff Now it's time for us to go ahead and drink the drink. So get ready, I'm gonna tell you what it's called. It's the line up, up, up, it's the alarm. Yes, it's the up, up, up it's the line. Oh, now I've told you that I have finished my song. And aren't you happy that I sang a song so far? The lineup here on the Slopie Boys podcast.

I kind of wish I didn't have to just sit here during that. You could have danced. I guess I could have, I didn't know what to do. Yeah. You could have been like the hype man. I was wanted to help in some way. No, I was just sitting here. I was singing, I turned to look at you,

I figured you'd be there like mind-blown. I was slapping my knee. I was enjoying it. I thought you were calling me over for a lap. Tim, when you turned around and saw that we had set this all up, we're like, oh my gosh, that's what they were up to. Those guys are efficient, just what I'm going to say, officially efficient. You were talking about presents. This sweater was a present, so I am going to take it off for the line. Okay.

Oh, I threw it on the floor. Mitch, it's not that type of, uh, it's the, what do you think this is, uh, the slut hacker? Also, this t-shirt was also a gift. Let's see it. The gift's going to. I can't my pants. Mitch, Mitchell, I was so afraid that there was a piss spot on my underwear. There will be.

The crowd can watch a piss spot form over the course of the night after I do the lineup. Those clothes came off so quick, Mitch. You, nobody was goading here. Just like, well, this guy's call, and this, and this. My friend's son is here. I'm sorry, Frailbott. We got Mitchie down to the Boxer briefs.

I thought you were doing like a Burt Kreischer thing at first, and then you top. How dare you? This isn't for cheap pops? I have my hangover patch on. Jeff, can I ask you your quick question? Yeah, you can. Who's... I thought this was Burt Kreischer.

Who's this guy? This isn't Burke Kreischer? Okay. This is what I looked like a few minutes before the show, by the way. Down there. I had a tough enough time getting that clothing on you. Now you just take it off. Chasing you all around the back.

Come on, buddy. Be a buddy. Come on, Tim and I got to distract him for a little show. Put on his tape. He likes his pants on. Do you sweat more when your clothes come off? Because I do it immediately. Is that how many of you know?

Probably because you're like nervous about it's sweating. It's nervous. Hey, pass that Yeager, my man. Oh, shit, we need two. As I'm pouring these out, I'm realizing I forgot how much this is to drink. Now, Tim, I know you covered it in the song, but just in normal spoken word, can you remind people with the line of this? Oh, we do that. Sorry, okay.

Well, what the hell are you doing over there? You chug a Guinness, you take a Yeager shot, you do a Yeager bomb and a Bud Light. Mitch, remind us how this drink came to be. You were on the West Coast. I was on the West Coast. San Diego, California. Ooh. I was down in Encinitas, California.

What the hell? Best part of Boston? Are you taking a picture of this guy? Uh, yeah. I was taking a picture of you guys. Oh, you take a picture of me! Well, because it looked funny with all you. I'm not going to do anything with it.

I'll do private stuff with it. Yeah, we already put a picture of you wearing less at a much younger age on our Instagram just yesterday. It's true. This won't go anywhere. And I'm not going to do what you all think. I'm going to do. I'm going to print out the paper and curl it up.

I'll print the picture out and shove it up my ass. I drink a bottle. I don't want anyone else to see it, so I got to put it away. I'm not sure if this is good for the show. You don't do a full Red Bull for a Yeager bomb, do you? No, I know. I don't remember. Did we pour these out last time?

It's like half of Red Bull. I drank a little, I drink a bottle of castor oil before the show. Casper oil. No, caster. I'm gonna pull a lard ass. Do you remember stand by me? I'm gonna fucking throw up all over at your audience. Our audience.

My, my, my, my, my little, we each got a, a hangover patch on. Yeah. Mine's not sticking to my skin. Are you having the same image? I didn't, probably because you're getting sweaty. I didn't put one on because. I remember the story of Jeff sleeping with a nicotine patch

that, like, ruined his life for the day, so I didn't want to... In college. In college. I heard if you sleep with a nicotine patch on, you have, like, cool, weird, lucid dreams. You put a... You did that intentionally?

As a non-smoker, I was like, I want... I want that... Because the friend who told me, he was like, I dreamt, I dreamt, I was sliding down an ice chute on my belly with, like... Well, I like ice. Like Mario, like the... You're going down the ice?

Play the game. The game is available. Like Mario, Mitch. You know. So I do it. I do it. And I do have the lucid dreams. And I wake up and I puke and I puke and I puke and I puke and I puke.

It ain't easy. I should put my clothes back on before we start, I guess. No, I think, I don't know. It's up to you, but I kind of like this. It's making me sweat, bitch. I'm pouring all of them out. Yeah, I forget. Do we?

Do we chuck? Oh, wait. I never finished. Yeah, yeah. Tim, the night. So there's this guy, Tim the Nighterame Kletzel, Joe Oronda, my friend Randy, who you've met before him, or he was a significant guy. Wait, what was his name, Tim the what? Tim the nitrame Kletzel.

Right, right, right, right. And so they were like, you want to do a lineup? And I was like, what's the lineup? And then they got me a pint of Guinness, and they got me a shot of Yeager. And then another shot of Yeager for the Yeager, but I'm in a Bud Light. And I just chugged them all in a row. Tim the Night Train Kletzel was like, dude, the Bud Light wasn't a part of it, man. That's the best.

You're supposed to walk around with that. So now it's now. And then he's like, now it is. So now it was included in. And you would beat the house time, even adding the extra, like the house's record time. I used to be able to do it under 30 seconds. I want to do it in under 30 seconds tonight for these people here. Tim, what were our results last time?

I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I was 50 seconds. I saw the clip you post something. And even back then it was a timed thing, right? I mean, yeah, people would time me, I guess. but yeah. I feel like the time is, I mean,

we posted our times and then people on the Discord for sloppy boys trounced our times. We had people doing it in like, you know, 20 seconds or something. Oh yeah,

Hargla Barg of News News fame. Right. He did it in 19.46 seconds. It's not here right now. It wasn't regulation. Instant death. Okay, but I have your times.

Mitch was 50 seconds. Oh, I was 58 seconds. Wow. And then Jeff and Mike, we're tied with 105. Wow. And then I remember my second time was like five minutes.

I couldn't do the second one. This scale doesn't go up that. Tim, I found out you're a chugger that night. Oh, Mitch, that was big news for you. You're a chugger. Now, what did you think of me before finding out of, what type of guy did you think of a wist? A sipper.

I thought you were more of a sipper. When you chugged it down, I was very impressed. I didn't know that you could drink the way that you did. And I'm excited to see what you can do here tonight, Tim. I have a question about the bud light. Do we pour this out into a cup as well? Do we pour? It's the only one out of a can, if I remember.

Except for the gifts. I saw Mitch pour, so I pour them. I just go pull my pants. I just don't like them around my ankles. It feels like I'm on the toilet. Okay. Fine. Bring your pants up.

But I want to know about the bud light. Okay, we'll all pour. Keep talking. Come on now. The bud lights are the worst part. Shut up. Come on now. The bud light's the worst part.

of it. Shut off. Uh-oh, the hat's backwards. This guy's ready to drink. Oh, shit. But no, I feel like real bona fide chuggers. They're not taking

sips like us. They just like open their throat like the guy from the man show that just pours it down. Joe Rogan? Goll? No. It's like, the fox?

The fox? Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. He died. From chugging? Of beer drinking. Oh, my God. That's so sad.

Oh, no. This is too full. Okay, so we are going to go one at a time and we are going to time them, but how do we time it? Do we time each other? Do we have like an impartial? I said we shouldn't do it this early in the show. We're going to be so fucked up. Well, we're already, we're already like, we're already pretty much into the show. We're into it. It's time. It's time. So you don't want to go first. I'll go first. Do you want me to go first? Sure. Go first. Now, can he be 50 seconds? Well, wait a minute, wait, I think we should have the champ go last so to see if you can be. I agree.

Sit down. But I do, I appreciate you because I want to go first too and get it done with it. Well, Hammer, you just... You just bought yourself first. There you go. Let's hear it for Michael.

All right, so what idiots in the audience have done this tonight? Yeah. All right. 86 them right now. Just to review. Yeah, to make sure I'm getting it right, it's first Guinness,

then just Yeager shot, then Yeager bomb. Yeah. Than the button. Yeah, that's right. Oh, man, I don't feel, I'm not in the mood to do this. Really? Because lots of times you're like, you got a hankering for this.

You get in the mood after you do it. Yeah, that's right, that's right. No, I just had a lot of pizza backstage. And I, on the way here in my head, I was like, oh, right, we got to do actually. I told you you should bring a Ralph bucket out on the stage. I think it is a possible way. It's not a bad idea.

It's weird, though, with the food. So this is the Ralph bucket right now. That's the Ralph Bucket. This is a section. She just offered her purse to you to barf in her purse. You guys are in the splash zone, like SeaWorld, man. This is like a guar show. You're going to get splattered.

Okay. I'm putting my mic down. Okay. All right. I'm bringing my phone. The mic is down. Okay, here we go. All right.

Oh, he's getting warmed up, folks. We'll go three, two, one, drink, I guess. Ready? So, and I'm going to press the start button. Here we go. Three, two. One go there you go hammer he's off it's leaking out of the cup he's coming out of the cup he's slower down he's asleep he fell asleep he fell asleep

somebody like that stick it as he's on to fucking Yeager shot oh oh he's passed that shot is a two-door here he goes and now a Hager bomb oh he's done to the bud like his eyes are blowing home very every quiet quiet quiet okay one oh one oh 107. How do you feel? How do you do? I don't feel great. Wow.

Oh. Okay. That was very hard. That was very hard to do. The fact that you had any time for showmanship was really impressive to me. It was because I couldn't drink. I need to distract. Oh, man.

107. So that's better or worse? He was 105. Oh, okay. Wow. Well, remarkably consistent. Very nice. Thank you.

Yeah, 105. Thank you, folks. You guys really pushed me through that, and I appreciate it. I'm going to grab some paper towels. Yeah, and a puke bucket. Yeah, the puke bucket, not a bad idea. Is there a puke bucket provided?

There might be something back there. Does anyone else's skin rash up when exposed to air? Yeah. You really shouldn't get air when exposed to O2. There's some sort of chemical. I got to put my shirt on because I can never be. make a Bon of Burke Reischer if I don't put my shirt on. Now, folks, I made a

screenshot of that time, 107, but I'm going to forget all about it. So if one of you could write down longhand what these times are. Oh, Michael with the paper towels. Who's up first? Next. Jefferson, maybe. Yeah, I'll do it.

Because I feel like you guys are going to trounce my hands. Well, I don't know if I'm going to trounce, but you were tied for last, last time. So maybe if you beat Mike, then it's a victory for you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so Mitch, can I have you press start? I got you.

Same as before. One, two, three, drink. Okay. I'll do it when the first drop of Guinness hits your mouth. Okay, let me get my stuff lined up here. Guinness. Hey, let's hear it for them, folks. Come on.

Here we go. How are you feeling over there? I'm good. I don't feel drunk yet, but I do just feel like, well, man, I did a lot of stuff there. Woo! Who! Who! All right, here we go.

The lineup is begin for Duts. Dutz, whatever you're ready. And he's out. He's sipping. All right. He's under the uniform. He's drinking. Whoa.

Wow. What a new. What a new. You're making great time. You're making great time, buddy. He's gardening. Trouts. 44 seconds.

Amazing. Duts be the biggest accomplishment of your life. It's a very useful. accomplishment. It's really good for your life. Jeff, how do you feel? Terrible. I like the two-in method, though. I'm going to do that with the pint. You're drinking

like a bowl of soup. Now, you fired down that beginners like a man-man. Thanks. I wish I could have kept up that piece. Yes. I slowed down quite a bit. That was quick. The Bud Light makes everybody slow down. I'm really

nervous. Can't I go next, please? No, no, I got to go for you. Oh, wait. Somebody make note of that time. 44 seconds. I couldn't turn it off. That's why it says 46 seconds. I'm not lying.

It was 44. Thank you. She was counting just by hand? Okay. Timmy? Oh, shit. He's sitting down. Oh, he's doing the sit method.

Okay. He's going to stand into it. Three, two, one. Just this last time. He's gonna stand into it. Oh my God. Three, two, one. Here he goes, he's just sitting.

He's doing a six. Wow. There it goes. His hands are shaking. Oh, he's shaking. He's just not in the box. He's trying to sit at a box. He's trying to sit at it.

Oh, 35 seconds in as he grabs for the bug light. And he's edging. No, oh no. Let's make sure we mic and Mike and though he cool all along Jeff 43 with 50 milliseconds what did Jeff 40 40 40 jeff well you are 44 seconds yes so he beat me by 10 10 milliseconds damn I after the Guinness I was like this is coming up you were shaking you were shaking quite a bit I got really scared right when I when I put down the

Guinness I was like who it's gonna I'm gonna barf in front of my two I've never in my life seen you go, mm, with the figure up. Never in my life have I seen it. I just needed a minute. This, we did this probably two years ago, right?

Three. Three years ago? It's amazing that I can't do this. Not that I was like, it was easy to do before, but this is like, the thought of doing round two, I'm like, oh my God, I got to think a way to get out of it.

Well, do you guys have that thing where you feel like you drank so much cold liquid that you can feel that your belly has cold liquid yeah it's still cold but that was the other thing one of these drinks was what got me on the the uh I think the Red Bulls got me on how cold it was it was like

you know when something's too cold you can't just chug it over yeah I think also it was a weird choice of the food because free show we were like we should have some food in our stomach so we don't get too drunk but you shut the fuck up Mitch

Mitch you want to go can you beat was it? You only got one shot, one opportunity. Jeff, play. Lose yourself, please. Let's hear it, Boston.

My palms are sweaty. My palms are sweaty. The perfect rhyme. I just hope my mom's not sweaty. All right, folks. The moment you've all been waiting for, tomorrow wars Michael Mitchell is about to

And wait, he's got that underbird wind up there, too. He might be ending with that. No, no, that's not part of it. Okay, ready? One, two, three, drink. And again, this is for fun. You don't have to compete. This is fun.

We're having fun, right, folks? Here we go. Three, two, one drink. Ready? Three, two, one, drink. There we go. Down the hatch. He's done with the Guinness.

Wow, that's fast. Done with the Yeager. That's a lot. Dropping the anger bomb, drinking the egger bomb. Seconds, fast as Timonai. Holy shit. Twice as fast, that's insane. I don't think Mitch can talk right now would he and Jeff doing.

What was Mike doing? Jesus, what the hell was I doing? Light him up. How do you feel, Mitch? He's good. He's good. He's good. He's feeling it out.

He's happy. I think he can only express himself in song. This is torture for Mitch. He can't sing DMB. I'm descending like the whale. Ooh, that was scary for me. You all right? Yeah.

22 seconds, huh? That's unbelievable. Wow. Come on, folks. Mitch, they should make a statue for you outside this building. Yeah. Yeah. Tear down some of those useless statues.

Put me up. Yeah, get that Paul Revere statue out of here. Yeah, what do he do? Does he, do we still like him? Are we got folks walking out of the lineups done? They're done for the night. You're getting one? You're going to do a lineup?

No. Yeah. People at the bar can make their own lineup. Everything available on stage is available at the bar. A lineup? But you will get arrested if you try to do it. You just try to order it? If you order, oh, again, it's like, yeah.

He's like, oh, you hear, yeah. Here you go on, they say, boy. And then, but like, whew. How did you feel? I feel like, um. I feel like fucking good right now.

I feel like right now I have that, that, the time bomb waiting still in my stomach where I don't feel the buzz yet, but then you just know your four drinks, you can hit you up. It's 100. I already feel like I'm tipsy. I feel it. I feel it in my son.

I had a big Mordidella sub. Yeah. See, here's the thing. I, uh, especially, oh. I especially didn't Hold on a second Not right into the microphone I especially didn't

I was like I was like I'm not going to do anything I ate at my mom and my side had some leftover ham at my sister's house I was watching the Patriots and my mom my aunt Kathy my aunt Masha my mom and my sister oh we got the sign

with the thumbs up sign sorry it belongs to the crystal water and I was like I'm not going to eat too much much because I, you can't kill... Are you too much? Put it out again, Jeff. Come on. He's singing the instrumentals.

Tell the change is a thing. Eat it. Cut it off. Eat too much. Careful. Don't do the day of these things. You can't eat, you can't eat a lot of food before the lineup. And then I slipped up. I slipped up. We were at the bar and I had a slider

and I had some of L.D.'s crunch wrap. I had half of LD's crunch wrap. Supreme? It's a very nice at the tap. What is it? Tap room down the street there. Well, who's L.D? Who's L.D. What's that? You had what? Who's Kruntrap? L.D. Who's L.D.

Larry David. Is L.D. here? L.D.'s here. El D is here. They're so far back. What the hell? Hey, we told you to put the friends in front. But I'm now, I'm feeling that food more.

should have gotten more empty stomach, I feel like. You did also confess when you showed up that this wasn't going to be the first you'd been drinking. I had a couple drinks before I got here. That's insane. And then you, and then you, it's still 22 seconds. But his logic was really sound.

He was like, well, my first drink of the night isn't going to be the fucking lineup. That is true. So I just had two, I just had two ciders before I got here. That was it. I do think technically the lineup is an approteeth. You're supposed to have it before dinner. Traditionally.

My question is, this is what we said before the show. Are we going to do a second lineup tonight? I don't know, folks. Hold on now. I vote no. I say we should not do it. Yes.

You don't want to get a little buzz going? I'm very, I'm biased. Are you buzzed, man? I am buzzed out. I'm buzzed out. Buzz light here, baby. To infinity. So Tim is a chugger.

Everyone here is a good chugger. I don't know. I'm not a good chugger, but I have chugged before. But you, you slowed down on your butt leg, but up top, I was saying, Mike's a chug. I didn't even, look at this. I didn't even finish my fucking.

Disqualified. This qualified my head. Well, do you guys remember any of your thoughts? Because I definitely, and I remember, I remember this from the last time we did it. No. When you chug just a Guinness, you're like, this is a great beer.

It is very. fun to chug it. It's fun to chugginnis. And it's frothy and it's kind of flat and it's nice. I just had an idea. You do one of these but at the end you've got to split the G. No, no, that'll be another thing.

We'll call it something else. The rundown. I'm doing the rundown. Hey, you do the rundown? I might do a rundown if you're doing a rundown. We talked about we got to make sloppy boys pint glasses where you split the pee. But then we put the sloppy

Bobby boys way down at the bottom. The P? Split the second P. The second P is bigger. It has like the way that it's got like a target in the inside of it. You split the P? I don't know. Would you guys buy something?

Hey, what's up? You think you guys want to buy? Literally if you guys wouldn't buy it, we won't do it because these are the exact people. Fuck, we're fun. Or just bake one yourself, I guess. I love you guys, man. Yeah, man.

I'm feeling that way, too. I'm not feeling that great. I feel ready for anything. Before the... I feel good. I feel like everything's possible. I'm feeling nice. I think some things are possible. Me throwing up as possible.

Do you guys feel like Yeagermeister gets a bad rap? I feel like it gets bad rap. Yes, I do too. The college kids have turned Yeagermeister to do a joke. The college kids are going crazy with it. On these woke campuses. Yes. Well, don't get me started on that.

Wait, you have. something to say about woke culture? When we were in school, getting a shot of Eager was a thing, then I think it went over to Fireball. Do you remember the fireball? Fireball. This crowd knows.

I was giving fireball at Christmas. I had a little pack of those little guys. I felt like, I feel like fireball's kind of gone away. Doesn't it feel like it's kind of that, that stretch is over? Oh, boy. On a microphone. We're ready for a new novelty drink song.

That's true. I just feel like there was a short period of time where I was like, let's do a shot of fireball, and I feel like that just doesn't happen. And if there's a shot, there's a song that's like, line up, line up. Line up, come in, you want to go. And we can't drive home. The lineup comes and he wants to go home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to get out of here. Line up. And the rest is, come Mr. Talleyman? Yeah. It doesn't get that far. Tally me banana. Yeah, it's more about bananas than is the lineup. I'm not driving tonight, but I could drive fucking great right now.

I believe. I believe. And you gave me a drive and town. I swear to God, I'd fucking knock it out of the park. Dude, you set a speed record on this? Let's set a fucking speed record on your car. Let's go to your mom's house, get the car, and go, man.

And if you get... If you hit a new record on your car, the speedometer goes up highest and you let you know. You hit a record. It goes ding. It goes ding and a lineup shoots out. You put a cup out. It's a cold lineup ready once you hit the...

But it's all in one drink, though. I can't wait to go home to my 77-year-old mom. Where are your keys? Where are your keys? You're driving with that wonderful Mike Hanford again? Don't hurt him. She loves you. I know.

She's out of her mind. I know. Did you're... Obviously, she didn't come to your sister. Courtney here? Gordon's not here. No, I told none of them to come. I said it was not going to be a great show.

Yeah. No, I told my parents, too. You don't want to come to them. You don't want to see your old boy. I felt bad, but she would not be happy if I was doing this live. My parents are seeing Marty Supreme next door. They're loving it. They just texted me.

They drove all the way out from New Hampshire just to see Marty Supreme next to them. They were coming to the show. They walked by Summerville Theater, saw Marty Supreme one in. They're like, we love that Timothy Shalame. It starts at 715. We'll see some of the Slottie Blue show. I hear it's a thriller. I hear it's very thrilling.

That's what I've heard. I don't understand. I feel like that movie. he's been coming out for like six months. I've been, the promotion for that movie has been long way. Is it like a,

is it like a crazy intense movie? It's a ping pong movie. No, I understand. It's ping pong. You saw Forrest Gump? Oh, did I ever? Well, just that one section where he plays ping pong.

It's like that for two hours. I always, that summer, or whenever that movie was out, I would always go to the theater play. That summer, the summer of Forest Gump, you're saying? Whatever, whatever Forrest Gump came out,

I would go to the theater and be like, any, uh, ping pong moments in any of these movies? They're like, Yeah, this forest gun one has one. Let me know when that starts and I'll come in. I'll pay just for that book. And back then they used to just, you paid for the scenes you saw.

Yeah, right. Exactly. I was like, hey, I missed the, um, the legs crossing scene that one movie. I was in the bathroom, so, uh, basically in thing. I put on one. Oh, Mike, you got to see that. Not the one to miss. I put on one battle after another on Christmas night. My mom and my sister's house, my mom and sister were there.

And, uh, the scene where Sean Penn has an erection earlier on the movie. Yeah. And they were both laying on the couch and I thought they were asleep and after that scene I went, Ma, and she went, yeah. She was awake. She saw Sean Penn's erection

and now, and then she fell asleep shortly after. I like that they started... I thought, oh! I thought you were going to say, Mitch, that they were watching it and that scene came up and ended and you were like, hey, mom and Courtney,

and they look over, you've got the thing. All right, that's too much. All right, that's. That's too much. Why would I alert them to it? That's, I know. It's disgusting. That's crazy.

Hey, mom and Courtney. Hey, mom and Courtney. I call them a Courtney's sister. Hey, mom and sister. Sister, mother. Son. Okay, guys, before we get into round two, I thought it'd be fun if we'd be here.

Before I get into round two, you're out of your damn mind, boy. Mitch, I'm trying to bite us time before. I'm trying. I got it, go on. With something called the Boston Challenge. Oh, this is good to do this now before we get to. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's good.

That's smart. Jeff, you're smart. Jeff's smart. I'm the smart one. I feel like I haven't, I've been sorry. I've been turned away. I've got to look at the whole crowd here. You got a whole crowd.

So folks. Jesus. And you guys on stage, the three of you in particular, well, our nation sure has a lot of, world-class musicians. Ha-ha. That's true. I'm starting to feel drunk

just now that I'm starting to like... Jefferson, the floor is young. This world certainly has some world cloud. I've known you guys for 20 years. You know that? I'm not... I give one of these.

I just said I was kicking off a segment, bitch. I've known... Why, that's the lineup for you, man. Is what we've done in life worth it? Is that too heavy of a question? Yes. It is funny when it's specifically this.

It's like, we met in college, but now, flashboard 20 years, we chug alcohol. But in college, all we did was study. We became masters of television writing. Can I say one more thing about the lineup before you start? Yeah, sure. I've been drunk for a while now, but now I just got like, ooh. Like, I'm going to throw up. But I was going to say this lineup is tough because it makes you feel like you can do anything in the world.

That's what I was saying. But so you feel like, yeah, I can do another one of these and I should do another one. And that's where you're getting the problems. You should. I've talked about this. We will do another one. But, you know, I read an article about how there's the rewards. Now I'm doing it.

The reward center of the brain. The reward center of the brain. Let's say you work a hard week of work. And you say, I deserve a beer. Yep. Another thing that triggers that same reward center is drinking one drink. Yeah, that's the funny.

So then you have one beer and say, you know what? I deserve a beer. And I'm getting, right now I'm like, I deserve a beer and a Yeager and a Yeager bomb and a beer. Do you guys have a rental car? Yeah, Mitsubishi.

Yeah, but we Ubered. We Ubered the Scoobird. I'm driving you guys down to Foxwoods tonight. Good. We're going tonight. We're putting it all on red. We're seeing Colin Mockery tonight, baby. Do you know, making your dream come true?

Tonight's today where dreams come true. Oh, Jeff, dude. Colin Mery's like in an empty improv theater right now. Oh, no one's coming. There's four empty seats right in the front. He looks out. He's like, no, I won't do the show tonight. Hey, if I remind you guys, we're in the middle of the...

Oh. Boston Challenge. You don't know what it is. Why are you cheering? You don't know what it is. Don't clap. Can you three go toe to toe with Boston's finest? Me?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The answer is yes? Yeah, yeah. We can? Well, a lot of great musicians came out of Boston or the greater Boston area. Yes. Shout out to Somerville.

And Quincy. All right. Was Led Zeppelin from Somerville? Somerville. Somerville. There are three... Huh? What's that? I was going to say a music thing, but I might step on one of your questions.

So I'm going to sit on nice. That's why I'm a professional podcast. So similar to the lineup, we're going to go down the line towards me. Mike, you're going to start. Right down the line. Right down the line. Do we have to do a lineup each time? we answer a question?

No. There are three rounds. I'm going to play you the notes you got to hit, and then I'm going to play you the same thing, and you got to hit those notes, but you also got to sort of like emote. When I say the Boston's finest,

musicians, you got you got to, you got to emote and show emotion. I can do that. Emote and show emotion? Yes. So wait, so it's not just pitch. everyone's got pitch

you got to also sort of communicate the humanity okay all right all right so Mike you're starting would you like to stand for the people sure sure sure so am I finishing the line or just re-singing

you're gonna so because I've done this before and I didn't get it so I know I've tried to like clean it up too so it's like you're only responsible for these notes here we go oh that's gonna be tough It only gets worse from here, Mike. Oh, that's a lot of emotion.

The next line? He's got to do this line. This line. I thought we were a challenge of like, do you know the next line? You just have to sing the thing you heard. But that's a tough thing to sing. With emotion and while emotive.

So what is, I just kidding here. What is the line? Because even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream I ever do. I still miss you, baby. And I ain't gonna miss it there. You'll have your chance. Quiet down.

Tell me, I'm a little buzzed. Because even when I dream, I'm reading. Okay, even when I dream you, okay. But there's it going to be a little lead in it? You know the song, right? Let me just, yeah, kind of, but let me just hear it again. Ready? Here we go.

Yeah. So there's a little bit of lead in. And I try. Fish you low. Very good, Michael. The emotion was there. Timmy. Thank you.

Armageddon, right? Armageddon. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, all right. Good sloppy. Yeah, so aren't we good. All right, thank you. Yeah.

Pretty good. Not bad. Oh, that's pretty good. We're all doing the same one. Yeah, you gotta see who does it best. Mitch, I thought it was gonna be a different song. Because even when I dream. This is, I mean, look, we're in Boston.

This is how they do the Boston challenge here, I guess. So when in Rome. Ready, Mitch? Yeah. You may- I don't want to miss a thing. I don't want to miss a thing. All right, folks.

Who's got it? Is it the handman, Mike Hanford? Is it the cat man, Tim Caltechis? Or is it the spoon man, Mike Mitchell? Handman. I got to give it to Hanford, even though he was objectively the worst. But I gave some emotion to it. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.

I really got it down on it. Okay, so that was one round, I guess. We were trying to move through it a little quicker. All right, let's go. Round two. Handford's seen up with the edit. Meelein, clean it up. Yeah.

So this is what you're accountable for. I forget who this is. No, no. It's new edition. From Boston. Really? The boy band with Bobby Brown and Bell and Biv and DeVode.

Oh. This is fucking. Am I? Are they saying? It's a chip much song. I'm just not hearing it well enough on these videos. It's a key church. What's the word he's saying?

Candy, candy, Candy, girl. Candy, candy, Candy, Candy Girl. Candy, Candy, yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. So again, there's going to be a little lead up, but I'll cue you.

Sure. Here we go. He's got the moves is the thing. It's the moves. That's how you win a tournament. Oh, folks, he was really shaking it. Timothy? Hit it.

I went higher. You went higher than I did. Higher and higher, Timmy. Jeff, can we do that one? Can we do that one, Jeff? Please, Jeff. Jeff, can this be part? Mark it.

Mike Mitchell, you're up. Oh. I can't hit the high. Also, we're not hearing it all these monitors that well, so it's just like, I was being like, oh, you can't hit the notes of a 13-year-old boy. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just in case. Just in case.

Tim, I thought we'd lost it to the puke barrel. I'm so glad he's back with cold beers. All right. Well, this is good. Round three, this is the five. Wait, we got to judge that round. Jesus Christ. Folks, who had Candy Girl?

Is it? Mike Hanford. Oh, so you just like Hanford the most is what it is? Tim Popper. Fuck you. You. He's in his Hanford country.

Or Mike, the Spoon Man Mitchell. Fucking naked are all your pieces of shit. Take your clothes off again. Maybe that'll know. Yeah, they love that. I'll do the second line up in my underwear. Fucks. But you gotta take

your hangover patch off next time. No way. Hanford, continuing his reign of terror here on the I thought Tim maybe won that

okay. I love this crown. Sick, sick. The third and final round here It's actually... Me first again? Yeah, yeah. You already won.

Why are we gonna do the last one? No, because this one's worth 100. Oh shit. Oh, shit. Oh, never mind. I'm sorry. Okay, that's fucking... Oh, that's honestly like most points we've ever had on the shop.

That's like a lot. Also Mitch, people normally cheer for the last one, not the first one. So he is doing something up there. That's why I think it should go the other way now. Okay, sure. You're going to go first? Yeah, I'm first. Oh, fuck you. This one's the hardest one.

Oh, shh. Not for me. It's not. Nice. Now you'll notice they sort of hold this note before it gets really high. So there's a little bit of a thinker. Oh, shit. A thinker in the show. You know this song, but here are the notes you're

accountable for it. Oh, shit. She slipped away. She slipped away, is the lyric. She slipped away. I can't do this. You can go falsetto. No, I simply, I quit the competition.

This competition is out of control. I can't do this. It's run by a madman. Why do all the highest singers in all the land come from Boston? That's weird. Interesting. Cold. Get your balls up in your body.

Here we go. It's cold. You should have walked when you had the chance. Look at him. He's got his shirt tucked into his front pocket. He's a mess. What are you saving that for later? Come on.

Take your shirt out of your plate. It's the Boston tucked. The Boston tucked. He doesn't know what we're talking about. Oaks, everybody's doing the Boston. Hey, come on. Everybody, you can do it. We took in the Boston way.

We tuck in the Boston way. Now put a big bean up your mouth. I was up in New England and everyone was tucking the Boston way. I just fell out of place. I feel like rabbit at the midpoint. Oh, no. I feel like rabbit at the call to adventure.

Oh. Oh shit, that's screenwriting terms for you news. There you go, Timmy. That's just the phone. I just want to say that also did suck, though, right? You're cheering, but it's bad. They all suck. Yeah, but I had to my Austin duck, you should

went on bus and talk alone. Tim, I'm happy to see that the Chris Ferrant slash Jeff Rosensock vocal exercises have been well used. Folks, Antarctica Vespucci. Turn me on to a vocal warm-up app, and that's why I can sing like Celine Dion. He can sing one note like Celine Dion. He sings like Celine Diab,

but he smells like meatloaf. Hey, come on. Jim Steinman artists. Wow. That's why I said it. Two Jim Steinman artists. Rest in piece, meatloaf. Hampered, you're up, baby.

I'm taking over. I'm fine. How are we feeling out there, folks? We still having fun. This crowd sucks your dick. It pisses me off. Mitch, Mitch. You can see, he's sweating.

Now he's playing to the crowd. I'm fine. What was that app again, Tim? I gotta give it to you. You got a good boss and tuck going. Do what? Oh, good. All right, Michael.

Enough funny business. A Rochester tuck is you tuck it in the back, but also in the underpants. You do it? after you get a garbage pole. Michael, you have two points. Yes. What's the line again? Slipped away? And she slipped away. And then it's like,

hey, hey, hey. So these guys have zero points. You have two. Nice. Then the last one's worth 100 points. The last one's worth 100. 100. Okay. Here we go. That was good. He didn't get that time. Wow. We know who won. You don't need to do it, Jeff. You're embarrassing. All right, so is it? So folks, it all comes down to Mick Man, Catman, Spoon Man.

Let's hear for the By the way, the Patriots won the AFC East, okay, go ahead. Now let's here for the captain. Bell-Texed my father! Oh shit, I should have said that before Tim's. And finally, Mike,

Handstand Hanford. All right, I lost that one. I get it, I get it. Tim's the winner. Tim's the winner of the Boston Challenge. Who did it have gone to someone who deserves it more? Now that's not the only challenge. We'll be doing tonight.

Yes, we're going to do another lineup. Folks, we're going to do a little lineup right after this. Whoa, there, slapheads. Before we can get into the show, you got to listen to my little lad. Hey, guys, this is Milan Patel, official editor of the pod. Really sorry for doing that offensive accent, but I just want to let you guys know that in January, I'll be going on my first ever Texas tour.

So check out these dates. January 23rd, I'm going to be in Dallas headlining the Dallas Comedy Club with stand-up comedy. So if you like the Milan Minute, it's kind of like 60 of those all in a row. Then January 24th, I'll be in Austin, Texas. I'll be putting on my variety show, Milan Patelan Enemies, at Cold Town Theater. Now, if you've never seen that show, it's animation, videos, stand-up. It's kind of like Kill Tony, but even more effed up and even. raunchier, actually.

Then finally, on January 25th, I'll be in Houston headlining the secret group. You can find tickets for all of those shows at my website, milan fatalecomedy.com. And now we can get back to the show. Y'all come back now, you hear. Oh, we shouldn't do this. Oh, we shouldn't be doing this.

Oh, we shouldn't do this. Come on. Come on. Lina, okay. Line up. Oh, you know what? Good point. Oh, Mitch, they don't care about your well-being.

Oh, I hope I don't wake mother going in tonight. Oh, no. That's good enough for me, baby. Oh, God. I really don't want to do round two, but you know what? It's a show, I guess. Didn't you do a Nugget Power Hour? I did do a Nugget Power Hour.

We haven't done it, though. Wager has done my co-host, Nick Wager. at the No Boys podcast. He's done doing he's done doing challenge. He says, no more challenge stuff. That's what he says. But he did, he took 60 shots of turkey chili. He did.

For the power hour on Thanksgiving. Was that like a eureka moment? For me? No, for him. It's just like, all right. What was this? How many shots of turkey chili? He did 60. And that's when he said this is ridiculous. Do you still use that? Do people still use the nose grease

to make your vis go down? I remember doing that. I was like a high school thing. I'm fine with it if it's your cup. But I don't need somebody else's... Oh, let me help you out a little bit. I got extra. I got extra.

He's picking his nose. If it's beer pong and it's like communal, like get that fucking greasy finger out of my own. Beer pong is like the grossest thing around. Doesn't have to be. Doesn't have to be. Wash cup. Mitch, you should sell,

like cans of nose grease. If you harvest your nose grease and then it's like Vaseline. Yeah, you harvest it. You know, if your beer is too frothy, get a little Mitch's milk. No, Mitch Nosegreens. Folks, would you buy some Mitch nose grease?

Okay, this sounds like a good business. All we got to do is like starts selling it. Get one of those maple syrup pails and hang it on the front of your face. We should just we get Mitch, put one of those out and just feed him cheese all the time. It just squirts out of his

nose. Hey, this is starting to sound good, my man. Oh, I don't mind this myself. Oh, come on, man. You're following out. I'm fucking up. Okay, I feel like this round we do it all at the same time, but it's a race. It's a race. I like it. I won the race.

Oh, really? Hold on, hold on. I got to get some of that nose. Also, people are finding their seats with their bar-bought lineups. Who's got a lineup in their hands right now? $70. Yeah, that's an expensive

drink. The lineup. The lineup is an expensive drink. Yeah, it's only for the it's for those with the finer tastes. Yes, it's for those with the deepest of pikes. It's an upper crusty drink.

I hope someone from the Quincy, I hope at least one person from the Quincy crew is doing one. I hope at least one person from the Quincy crew is still here. Wait, who? What Quincy crew got From the Frobot, Chankton, Frankton.

Fremobot's here, Friobot's here. Wittang? Wutang is here. He has the flu, though, so don't go near it. Flu Teng. Get him out of here. We got Flutang. Flutang?

Flutang, you feel like doing a lineup? Flutang, you get to do the lineup? No. Who was it that ran into a wall and got knocked out in school? Who ran into a wall? Who ran into a wall? Who ran into a wall? Was that me?

That was probably Mitch. I think it was you. I don't know. You might be thinking of the Van Arts telling story. Yes, you're thinking of the Van Ardalen story. He ran into a long. He knew a kid who had to go to the bathroom in class and just freaked out and ran outside,

ran to the wall, broke his, fell, knocked himself out, broke his arm, and piss his pants. What a combo. That is the funniest. At that point, you go to a different school. Yeah, yeah, right. Do you guys need more of Red Bull?

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. That's the weirdest part of the lineup is that we, after two rounds, we're each going to have a whole Red Bull in our system. We're going to have a whole Red Bull. What am I going to do with these wings? Yeah.

What? I asked for a Nintendo Switch 2 dock for Christmas. Did you get it? And I did, and so I can play video games at my mom's house. I can bring my Nintendo Switch home. That's nice. Did she play with you or you are allowed? She watches.

She cheers me on. Mike, get the warp whistle. Mom! Thought a warp whistle, bitch. You're fucking three systems behind you, bitch. I'll say this. I'm very much

drunk-ish. So this will put me over the top, I guess you could say. It'll double the feeling you have right now. I don't want to talk to anyone in the crowd. Speaking of, folks, we got a little merch table in the back. We're going to be hanging

out. We'll sell you whatever you want. With the last big sweatshirt belongs to me. Uh-oh. Who's going to buy the shirt before Mitch does? Hey, we got special edition posters just for tonight. That's right. Hey, we do. We might just sign those. And hey, don't forget vinyl, vinyl.

Jesus, we got it all. Stickers, posters, vinyl, sweatshers. I prefer digital sound. Oh, Tim. He likes that harsh crackle Okay, so I'm trying to get Dano to do one Dano, you should do a lineup too

Dano, oh Dano, I know Dano Paul Dano? Yeah, Dano, get out up here. Can you Tarantino's favorite actor? Wow, good, yes. Round two. Why am I standing up? I'm getting excited, I got to sit there. Don't you think you perform better

standing up? Yeah, I do, but for this yeah, okay. Oh, this sucks. I think we're getting an Xbox switch for Christmas? So I guess to start it off, our, you know, our anointed timers, again, three, two, one drink. We'll have the whole audience say it. Because we're putting our mics down and we're getting down to business.

You're my timer? Are you a good liar? Wait, who's my guy? Who's my guy? Hey, shave a couple seconds off, will you? I got you. Just so you know, I'm not going to do the Boston talk. I can't. I can't.

Please, Tim. Please. For the listener, he did it. Okay, here we go. Guinness? Yeager shot, Yeagerbaum, Bloodlight. This stinks. Okay, so I'm putting the mic down,

and we're going to get into the countdown, right? Mine at my own time. Keep time, keep time, keep time. But I don't need to be Mr. Haim and Me Too. I'm a chill with this mudlight. I don't need to be Mr. Boston tonight. I'm doing the Boston Tuck

and that's enough. Look at Mike, Mitchell, and Tim just pacing around clutching their stomachs in the back of the stage. I didn't even get through my Guinness. I didn't even get that far. Oh, I'm down to the... I couldn't do it. I'm down to the beat out. I can't do it.

Oh, Mitch is scooting back. Mitch has left the stage. He knows where the bathroom is. He's doing okay. This is nice, though. I've never done a leisurely lineup. This is kind of good. You can I can see Mitch backstage. He's doing jumping jacks back there.

He's thinking about that. Excuse me. Oh, my God. That sounded like a sound effect, didn't it? What the heck? That was one of just magical silent boards. What the heck? This is kind of weird. Folks, we have a barf. Man!

I'll win this thing. He's a trooper. Hey, it's how it goes when you do two lineups in a night. Folks, those of you at home hearing, ooh, they're saying, spoon. Look. I thought they were saying Bruce.

I take a GLP1. Oh shit. Does that affect? Did that quiet the food noise? Your brain is just like, I got to drink lineups. I'll be right back. Because the thing is, without a GLP1, we all walk around thinking about the lineup,

the lineup. I got to have a lineup. When is my next lineup? You take your weekly injection, suddenly you're not thinking so much about the line. I will finish this. I will finish my last. Oh my God. Check on our guests, will you, Tim?

He's jerking off to a picture of us. Oh, bitch. Oh, God. Does he do that a lot? It looks like an old picture. An old yellowed picture. He's smart because he's evacuating the stomach. Whereas we have a time...

Yeah, we're going to be fucked for round three. Yeah. He's smart for Robert. He's smarter than us. All right. Hold on. I'm still doing. Are you still timing?

Hey, my timer's still going, yes? Whoops. Your motor skills are... My motor skills are murdering. That's it for me. That was very good. I'm in one of these drunk moods where I just want to... I want to get to know you all.

I mean, I just want to take y'all at home and do Christmas with you. Next year, let's think about it. Let's get an email chain going. It took me that long to find the sound effects. The Dutz one? I threw up a mysterious-looking bone. I'm like, wait a minute. Oh, my God, you're missing a fever.

You got that wobbly leg, man. The crunch wrap is coming. Come back up. What about the Supreme? You know what? It felt great throwing up, honestly. Marty Supreme? Look, am I embarrassed?

I'm embarrassed that I did this show and then barfed the second time? Yes, very much so. You could have left it at, I'm embarrassed that I did this show. That's a good point. Yeah, yeah. It was too much for me.

The second one was too much. A big mix of a... Too much. Come on. Yeah. Too much. A big mix of the Red Bull and the Bud Light was not working for me.

Yeah, that's what it was. That's what it was. The synergy of the Yeager and the Guinness. I can still drive. That's good because we need a ride. We need a ride back to L.A. Take him to home before you go to the hospital. You guys have a toothpaste?

And or both wash. Have your underberg Dijasthi. Oh. Oh, you reach this for it without hesitation. Now, sure, it has alcohol in it, but it is something that you like, you give that to kids when they're having a boo-boo-boo tummy. You give that to kids?

I do. I was all around Somerville all day today. Like, a kid, give me here. You got an upset stomach? No. Come to my rented Mitsubishi. Yeah. Look for the red Mitsubishi vail.

Have you had one of those before? How are you doing? Were you close there or no? You know what's weird is I think that it's the speed that does it to you. You beat me and you went so fast and I think that it's a tumultuous situation. And then I got myself disqualified. It doesn't matter about the speed. Why did you get disqualify?

If you throw up, you're disqualified. Not on this show. Oh, not on this show. If you throw up, you're a winner on this show. That goes for you too, audience. Next one. Did anybody get ejected tonight? No, zero.

What were the final times? Did we hear while I was throwing? Oh, I'm still going online. How did I, how did Tim do? 48 seconds. Wow. And then Mitch? 38 for Mitch.

Wow. So I was 38 seconds? 31 flat. I'm going to say this, I've never thrown up from a lineup until tonight. I was 38. 38. 38.8 for Tim, not bad. Not bad. Wow.

What was yours? A personal best to. 31 seconds. I'm retiring from the lineup. That's crazy. Hey, smart. Smart. Come on, give it up.

That's incredible. Yes. It's incredible. Goodbye lineup. It was a great, great row of drinks. I would pass around that underburger if you want a couple of sips.

You know, it's tough to drink. We did a show in Indianapolis. Oh, you didn't like it? That's the worst. That sucks. You never have it for? Give us some. It's a DJ Steve match.

Ah. Oh, God. I got the hiccups. You're going to need to digest those four drinks with that small drink. No, no, don't worry about me. I still digest deefing with this. God, it feels so weird to have the alcohol hitting you, but also have the Red Bull be hitting you at the same time.

Oh, yeah, it's horrible. It's that four loco thing where you feel drunk, but you do want to drop. That's why you think you can drive. I get that itch, for the Mitsubishi, man. Yeah, man. The Wonderberg, the only plus side is that it washed

out any barf smell I held on me, but it's very disgusting. It's, it's, uh, what is that? I mean, it's, uh, I was drinking one of these at the Red Lion in L.A. German restaurant and a guy was like, dude, are you up in Underberg? And I was like, yeah, and he's like, I used, my mom used to give me that

when I was a baby. And I was like, well, yeah. Who is this guy? Was he saying it was like, oh, you, this is a a weak drink? He was making. He was making fun of me, but this is like... He was making fun of you? I'd make fun of him.

That's for babies? That's what you were saying? I'll make fun of him. That's for babies? Much like Sean Annabel blowing past me on his bike when I had training wheels and he said, Baby, baby.

When I was five years old. I got to deal with that and then also I got in a fight with an old guy on Jeff Street the other day. He called me a fat pussy. What were you doing? He was eating a flog. and letting little kids beat him up.

I got into road rage thing with an old guy, I called him an old bitch, and he called me a fat pussy. That's an even trade. That's an even trade as far as I'm concerned. That's a double knockout. It's both two words where it's like... It's funny that it's like, the first word is the personal bird and the second thing

is the cowardly... Who was this very thin old man? Fucking slender man, dude. He's like one of the guys. guys that owns my building, so I didn't want to get involved. I was like, I'm an impartial witness to this whole thing. I'd like to hear both sides. This guy was like, I'm going to go get my buddy, and he went and got his buddy, this

teen little buddy. Oh, Tim, did I tell you? This turned into a thing. Wait, wait, wait, tell them the whole story. So you're showing up to my place in the T-bird. I was going to park, and then I didn't, and then I was going to park again, and the guy behind me was all mad and beepy. Because he was stopping short because he thought you were parking.

Mike, don't fall silent. You were in the car. I know, but I'm not talking because I'm hiccuping. I'm trying to beat that. Just go barf. But go on. So then the old guy pulled up next to me, rolled down the window, I was like, fuck you, you're all fucking, you old bitch.

Because he was beeping and getting weird at you. He was getting weird at me. I was sitting shotgun. I took my earbuds. I was like, what are you doing? Kelsey, Kelsey. We're talking about, what's my neighbor's? What's the guy's name?

She got out of a fight with him, too. He's an old bitch, right? Is his name Ben Rickley by change? Yeah, I forget. I also don't want to say his name, but just so you know we're talking about it. So, so... Say my name, say my name. That's what he's saying.

That's what he's thinking. But you get in an altercation with this guy who's like, part of the family that owns my property? I've seen this guy yell at his mom. He's old. He's old. His mom, I've seen him. I heard like, you, you fucked me on this team.

And I was like, what's going on outside? There's an old guy yelling at an even older woman. And she's still with it enough to fuck him on a deal? No, she's like, she's like covering her face and like shielding her ears. And I was like, what the fuck? So Kelsey goes out and tries to like give her a piece of her mind. She breaks it up and all this shit. Anyway, so when you said it, I got in a fight with an old guy.

I was like, I think I know exactly the fucking old guy that you're talking about. Was it Mr. Magoo? Let's go there tonight. Mitch, you're driving. But there's a follow up. So they get, he's like, oh, I'm going to. get my friend. He said, I'm gonna go get my buddy. I was like, yeah, you get your buddy. He goes, he drives his car.

His buddy is an old British rocker. Yes, long hair, and he, and you, and I knew. What were you gonna do? Wait, you waited around for me guys, you want to know I was going to? We were, Boosh! People's elbow,

bough! Look, no offense to you, I've known you for 20 years. Smashing machine, boosh, and Marty Supreme, Booh, Marty's Supreme.

Smash a machine, Marty Supreme. From Smash a machine to Marty Supreme and Marty Supreme Mr. So when you were like Satsy brothers

do movies that rhymed on purpose. Come on. That's what they do. That's what I'm thinking. Their last name's rhyme. So he grabs his friend and I knew

you were like, I bet he grabbed that that like 60 year old dude with like long bleached gray hair. Yeah, an old British rocker. You're an old British rocker. And I was like,

just you. telling me. I could picture who it was. He was kind of doing the rooster dancing. But I didn't know. I didn't know. He said we couldn't get any satisfaction. The altercation sort of ends. I remember Hanford, you were like, ah, we're not doing this. We're not doing this. Yeah, well, because he got it,

was getting at his car. I was like, no, no, we're not going to fight. What the hell was going on out of this all in front of Dutton's house? Like in the afternoon? So they come in. They come in and we podcast. And it's on one of the podcast. We talked about this.

Yeah. You're getting double story, folks. Days later, days later, I'm coming back from Home Depot. Oh, shit. I'm happy as a clam walking down my street. What shoes are you wearing? He's got his wingtips on. I got my high heels, man.

Hey, boys. I'm walking on the marble streets of Los Angeles, California. You guys in Boston don't know about it. Yeah, they don't have snow out there so we can have marble streets. We got marble streets. We got fat pussies right on. around in the cars. Now, I'm walking down, I'm

going, I'm right in front of my house, and I realize I got my sunglasses on, and at the time, mustache. Oh, you'd cut the mustache off. Oh, I do. And I see the long-haired, blonde-haired guy coming towards

me. And I was like, he doesn't know I'm involved. He doesn't know they're coming to my place to podcast from, this is days ago. I was like, it's blown over. and I'm walking by and I hear fucking asshole. To you?

To me. He knew that we were with you. This guy, he... The fat pussy's friend. That's how fat of a pussy I am. People know it for the whole over time. But I think... Oh, I hate a fat pussy.

Give me a nice thin pussy. Am I right? But I turned to this. Yeah, you are right. Boom. You think I really judge Pussies on if they're thin or fat? I'm just happy to be involved.

I'm nervously apologizing. I'm so sorry. Tell your owner that I had a great time. Oh, she's up there? I got to go home. Hi, ma'am. I was just talking to your pussy for you. Yeah. Great group down there, but I got to get going.

Are you called the old bitch? No, don't call them. I got a video. Listen to this. Fuck. They spread it. off like crazy. All I did was say, I'm going to kick your ass, you old bitch. That's all he did.

That's all he did. Tim, in the new year, you gotta work on that rage, my man. Also, it's funny to hear this now when you're two lineups steep, but at that time, stone cold sober. I had like one lineup. In L.A.,

you always got to have one lineup before you go out the door. Otherwise, you're nervous behind the wheel. I feel weird if I don't have a lie though. You know what I mean? Well, I'm walking in my home and I hear, fucking asshole.

And I turn to like, and I act I kind of put it together immediately. Because I have sunglasses and a mustache. He's like, he thinks I'm one of my friends with sunglasses in a mustache. And I turn to him and my best, I'm like, I'm like, me? And he's like, yeah. And then. He said to you?

Yeah. He said this two. He said like, he's like, you're a less fat pussy. He's like, no, but he had no. You've been. He's confusing me. Don't you see? To him, we all look the same. Oh, shit.

I'm so tired of the marginalized community of guys with mustaches and glasses. Straight white guys. Straight white guys with moustaches and glasses. It sucks. Straight white guys have the worst of anyone right now.

Fucking asshole. Me? Yeah. Why am I an asshole? So you guys are fighting with a 70-year-old me? You said that? I was like, why am I an asshole, the most confused I could possibly muster? I knew, but I'm not an asshole. Not the asshole he's thinking of.

Maybe a different asshole. And then he goes, and just continues on his way. This is a guy I've seen 50 times on my street, and I'll see 50 times more. And thanks to you guys, he thinks I'm a fucking asshole. Thanks us, you should be standing up for your boy. I got what? You know what? I will.

I will stand up for more boys. Buy a gun and kill them. Stand your ground laws. That is not the way. That's our show. Point five. Hit it, Jay.