The Sloppy Boys - 281. Test Pilot

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

The guys blend up an early tiki drink from Air Force vet Don the Beachcomber-- a precursor to other, better-known “pilot”-themed drinks.TEST PILOT RECIPE:1.5oz/45ml DARK JAMAICAN RUM.75oz/22ml LIGHT RUM.5oz/15ml COINTREAU.5oz/15ml LIME JUICE.5oz/15ml FALERNUM6 drops PERNOD1 dash ANGOSTURA BITTERSAdd ingredients into a blender with a cup of ice. Blend at high speed for 5 seconds. Pour into a double rocks glass, adding more ice if needed.Garnish with speared maraschino cherry.Recipe via Don the BeachcomberWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mutants Born different Born into a world that hates and fears them Some mutants believe that they are superior to humans destined to replace them Others fight for peaceful

coexistence with mankind I'm mutant expert Dutz Join me all month long as I present Four X-Men films To prove to my co-host That they're better than the average cape shit I have selected X-Men

X-X-2, X-Men United X-X-Men first class and X-Men days of future pass. It's a once-in-a-lifetime blowout event. Will Tim open his heart to mutants, or will he cling to his hateous ways? Will Mike even watch the right movies? That's right, folks.

It's X-month. This March, only on the blowout. X-month. Go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. X-month. Ooh. X-month. From the guys that brought you Zabababov-a-bub.

What a weird thing for me now that I know there's, like, here I'm living my life in February, everything's great. Yeah. The next month I'm going to live in is a whole bad month for me. It's just life will be a negative. It'll be bad. But it is exciting for me,

the definition of a blind spot. I don't know shit. Like I know Professor X. I know Storm. I know Colossus. Interesting. Okay. I assume they go to battle some evil.

And now that I say it out loud, that evil is probably Magneto. But what's the deal with Magneto? Is he himself a mutant who went bad or is he anti-muting? I don't know why he's the villain. Tim, I can't fucking wait to show you this shit. Ooh. Fun.

I live an on-the-go lifestyle. That's why I'm going on tour to see all the sloppy boys shows this spring. Los Angeles, March 20th at Zebulon, Phoenix, March 21st at Valley Bar. Salt Lake City, March 23rd at quarters. Denver, March 25th at Marquis, Dallas, March 27th at the Texas Tea Room, Houston, March 28th at the White Oak Music Hall upstairs. Atlanta, May 21st, Center Stage Vinyl. Knoxville, May 22nd, Open Chord. Nashville, May 23rd, East Side Bowl, and that's part of George Fest.

Come on out, get tickets online. Online, that's where the tickets are. You know it. Hey, folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take our D-DiBohs. dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Hanford. Hi. And Timothy Calpacus. What he is up. I, you know, Tim, you always, you come in with the, uh, what he is up and that's your catchphrase and you're known for it. I sort of have settled into high as mine. It's just because I've, I've run out of things to say now,

but that's my catchphrase. I should have fucking been doing something better than that. Your catchphrase is high? Yeah, but said like, hi. Oh, hi. We, could be printing t-shirts that say hi and everyone will be like oh the mic hand for catchphrase but then we'll put sheet music as two notes hi so people know oh yeah maybe uh that's good or we can have like uh the hb lowercase and then a lowercase eye and then a couple uppercase eyes hi we could we could go lots of directions with this thing this is fruitful we can do a lot of things i mean we could maybe not even stop at three lowercase eyes before we got to launch a new online shop for all this stuff we're going to be doing here. Oh, that reminds me, folks. Go online to sloppyboys.com and check out the merch, the shirts. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We got to have new stuff up there by now. We should do a, we should do a what is up shirt. Folks, we got new broken Bailey merch out. You got to get the new character from the sloppy boys LLC. Oh, yes, yes. That's good merch. It's happening now live. That's good merch.

You need it for March. I mean, merch, merch, March. Yeah, get your merch and March. Always. I mean. Oh, a lot of people do this. that, you know. It's good. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, but he's not, he's not Irish. He's Scottish. But you can see why it works for St. Pats. Can't you? Brogan Bailey.

I don't know. It's Pat adjacent. It's Pat adjacent. And he's got so many phrases that he could say. And you know, I think he even fought with the Irish. Oh, that's it. That's it. That's, that's where he came from. He is heroic, not unlike the heroes we talked about, and we'll be talking about for the rest of March, X month over on the blowout. X month. If you know about the blowout, folks, if you're a patron, as we call them, get yourself over behind the Patreon, the wall, the paywall over patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. And we do every single week, we do an episode that is, how would we describe it? Better than this episode.

Yeah, that's where you get the good stuff. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And all this month of March, we're talking about X-Men. X. Oh, hey, Mike, before the pod, you said something about a turd. What was that? Yes.

I did. It was in your private life? It reminded me to something I forget him. I said, yes. I was like, oh, I just got off the phone with turd Ferguson. The Norm MacDonald character, weird. Shit, Jeff. Yeah, we were just saying the word turd, weren't we?

You refer to Mookie's, my favorite? a mooky Halloween costume, turd Ferguson? Oh yeah. Or the television character, but yeah, sure. I guess he's not, he's Bert Reynolds. Yes.

He puts on a big hat and then he changes his name. Big hat, yes, okay. Yeah, Jeff, you had a funny little phrase and what was it? Yes, because Mike, you were talking about a song and you were like, hey, yeah, now when I play that song I can do it without

leaving a, leaving a turd in my pants. Like it's a... Yes, I was making a, a reference to being scared about something. One of our own songs. Yes, yes, yes. That's what it was. But it made me think of a funny phrase that I want to use.

And folks, this is part of the reason you listen to Sloppy Boys podcast is culture starts here. You know? We're not reflecting it. We're starting it. This is ground zero. It ends here too. It starts and ends here. You pick up a lot of phrases.

One I remember a long time ago I had the boss's dog. Like if something's really good, that's the boss's. dog. That one didn't take off. I wouldn't think that would take off. Go ahead. But this one is good. I just, I dimmed my pants. Dimmed my pants.

Ooh, like you, like you, like you peed in them a little bit? No, like, you know, when you dim the lights, you like darken the room. You know, you sort of like,

the overall shade of the pants does get darker. You dim your pants. That's you, uh, you know, you sort of. Yeah, you make a mess.

This is going to be that type of thing. thing. You make a mess. But a PG-13 mess, or are we talking? NC-17. You darken, you darken your BVDs. Okay. Okay.

I was catching up on Rupol's drag race, Jeff. And they now are saying, oh, that was the boss's dog. That look, you just did. Oh, my, well, I have to say, that dress, that hair, that is all the boss's dog now. Do they credit me? Yeah. RuPaul looks at the camera and says, Jeff, you are the real boss's dog. To me.

To me. Baby, you are the real boss's dog. That's a great RuPaul impression from Tim, too. Yeah, baby. RuPaul's always sitting there in the judge panel smoking a big cigar. You've got that you're done boss's dog, Jeffie, baby. Oh, boy. Hey, you know what's coming up is the Oscars?

And I just, I was looking over the best picture nombs. And I'm actually, for a non-film guy, I was thinking about this when you're talking about the X-Men films we've been viewing. For a non-film freak, I'm doing pretty good on my terms. Pretty good as far as how many of the films I've seen. So in this home stretch here, I think I'm going to try to complete watching at least the best picture noms because I've seen a decent chunk of them. So what you're what you're seeing? Well, if you see the best picture knobs, most likely you're going to see the best supporting actor,

the best supporting actress, the best lead role in it. You're going to see those guys anyway. Yeah, a lot of crossover. They, they collab. Yeah. A lot of times the best director will have collared with the best supporting actress. Yeah, it's a lot of insider shit.

Now, if you're, if you, if you, now here's a real move, if you fucking knew all the movies from like the short animation list, or the foreign movies, then you'd be the boss's dog, man. Yeah. Yeah. You ain't gonna be dimming no pants that night. Our pants are bright white.

Bright white. How many best picture noms are there? 10 now? They do 10 now and they do a spread where there's some, there's a lot of like, nice spread. They throw stuff like F1 in there now to be like, Yeah, right. F1, FU. They should say that. They did. Read the nomination.

I'm looking at the website. Yes. It's a good monologue joke. Somebody's going to say that. Who's hosting? Do we know? Conan. Conan. Oh, good. Corgan O'Borgon. Hey, what a great, like, third act, I guess, for Conan of that as the guys lost his show, show. And then, I mean, obviously he's a enormously successful podcaster. so are we. What a gig to land on like one day a year you put on a tux and the whole world watches you and he's good at the job.

He's done that before, right? Hosted the twice. Sure. Oscars. Oh, no, no. This is the second. It's like last year he did it.

Remember there was a, there was a Conan Renaissance after he was on hot ones and everyone was like, hey, this guy's funny. And then a bunch of clips, old clips of his resurfaced. I think he rode that wave. Hey, hey, this guy's hair is the same color as those wings. We got to pay attention to him more.

And. Go ahead, dude. That's the audience watching and saying. No, no, I know. I took me as I thought you meant the wings on the statuette, and then I was going to say there. But then you said the chicken wings from hot ones. Yes, yes.

Aha. The hot sauce on the wing. Bright red and spicy. I was referring to the chicken wing. The Oscar is holding on the Academy Award statue. All right. Does he hold a little chicken wing? Okay, go ahead.

No. too silly, too far. Why are you squashing this, Jeff? It's squashed. Not funny. It's squashed. Well, that's good. That's good of you to speak up.

Because Tim over here is just going to let me go and go. I'm drinking on my French press. That's why I'm going a mile a minute over here. Oh, wow. You're fully, you're caffed up, man. How's the blood pressure doing? I'm fully capped. Can I tell you something?

I've had some of the lowest, numbers I've ever had recently. You're bottoming out. Zero over zero. Like almost to the point I was like, wow, these are low. Is this too low blood pressure now? No, it's doing great. I'm, uh, the meds are working.

I'm getting enough potassium to keep everything a level and nice. Oh, let me guess. Are you eating one of these? A big yellow banana that I'm having. That's right. I've been doing. What happened to that banana, Tim? Jesus Christ.

I ain't half of it. And I'll tell you what, guys, it ain't a grown mishel. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, Cavendish. Oh, right. We did our banana deep dive, right. How did you get one? Did you have to order it?

No, this is the normal kind. Oh, Cavendish. Right, right, right. Big Mike was the old kind. Yep. Big Mike. Yep. Well, do we get in some booze news?

Bip, bip, bip, hit it. It's boo. You, slow-mo-mo-mo-fo. I thought I heard a foghorn. Whoa. Jesus Christ. I got whiplash at the end there. Dutzwave was sent to us by ONA.

And if you have a booze news theme email to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. O'NA, Uncle Owen? Order again, baby. Yeah, damn, that was understood the assignment. Well done. We talked about Vaporwave a couple episodes ago. And there he comes in.

I think we even said like, oh, yeah, pop would be a good. vaporweeps up. I wonder if he re-performed my iconic vocal and slowed it down, or did he use AI to amorally strip my artwork down to its bits? Oh, and A. You have to decide now how you feel about it without knowing the process. You have to be mad at him or happy at him? I'm happy at him. Jeff is real happy at Owen Regardless of techniques used Yo yo yo you your Dutz is mad at you No no no I heard the pot

He's happy at me At him At him At him Before we move on from the booze news theme There was that sign off That production card that Do do do do

It wasn't Castle Rock It wasn't Touchstone What was that? No, but it is like a sound that's like, oh, now it's bed time. Now it's no good. No, now it's no good for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's no fighting that it's bedtime now.

Someone's not going to be happy of me about this. It's all over for me. There's no got to be fighting about bedtime now. Not after that sound. Yeah, that makes it me think it must have been had to have been like TGIF-ish. I'm cooked. I'm cooked. I'm cooked.

I only, now I have to go up to my beautiful bed and sleep and just have beautiful dreams and go to a school that is paid for. I don't have to worry about food. Oh yeah, I'm cooked. We had it so nice back then. I know. Kids are not grateful enough for us. Kids aren't grateful anymore.

Three childless middle-aged men. We got a quam. We got a bone to pick with little small kids. Hey, kids, come on the pod, defend yourselves. That's not even an argument. Next. Hey, you know what I don't like is adults who, when they talk to kids, they do a kid voice. I was talking to some kids as well.

I talked to a lot of kids this weekend. I don't care how young you get. I'm still saying, hey, buddy. How are you? Hey, what do you got there? That voice stays in the same octave. It doesn't go up an octave. Not for a kid.

Not even for a dog. And they like me for it. I'm sort of ascending them, you know? Yeah. Yeah, you treat him like an adult. My little cousin, she's not little anymore. She's married and has kids of her own. She ain't little no more.

She ain't little no more. When she was a kid, like a baby, she was like a real late addition to the cousins, you know? You had like, we were like, look, we already got this kind of figure now. We don't have room for good cause. She was like a really late, a character, like late season of the office. We're like, oh, yeah, there's like the warehouse guys. Yeah, I forgot those. They added those guys.

Oh, yeah. Clark Duke show does a season. here. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been watching that and I just got to that season of the office. And it is very much like, oh, wow, Andy is now the boss and he's never there. Like he's going to Florida all the time. It's like, what the hell is going on? Yeah, bizarre. Like how much that show, I won't say fell off. I fell off. I fell off in my viewership. But anyway, my little cousin, she was a baby and everybody would kind of kind of do the talking down thing. And she was maybe two or three. And I remember

she thought it was funny that she thought this was funny. She would like bump into you or like grab your leg. And I'd be like, whoa, lady, lady. And she knew it was funny that I reacted that way. Like called her lady. Because she's like, that's not what you'd call somebody of my stature. And so I said, you're all right, kid. It's funny. My old friend, Tom, he used to pick up his little cousin

who was like five and he would rock her in his arms being like, go to sleep baby and she fucking hated it. Because yeah, they want to be elevated. Yeah. And any kid who sees a younger kid is like, that's a baby. I'm like, bro, you're a fucking baby to me. And I'm a baby to even older people to be. You understand? And I'm a baby to Nima. I, uh, I, I, and she's a baby to God. God, the oldest guy.

Tingleiat. Now that's good, Mike. I would never squash that sort of bit. Keep those coming. God looks down at Earth and he's like, oh, you're so young. You don't even know. You don't even know.

You don't even know. And we're down here like, oh, man, unk is chopped. Unca's chopped? No, man. Unca's God now. My voice goes, when I talk to look at my voice, the lower and age, the high, hire my voice. If I ever go to like a pregnant woman's belly and like if I'm talking to

the baby and they're like dogs in the neighborhood go nuts. It hurts you to talk. You're like red in the face. Yeah. Like, he, wee. But that doesn't happen very often because he's like, get away for me. Mike, stop. You're going to hear yourself. No, I got more to say. I got more to say. Yeah. And then from inside the womb, you're, I'm kidding.

That's silly. That's silly. That's silly, Tim. I was doing like a dog bark coming from in the room. There was a, I had a book. Maybe you have it now. Tim, it's got to be silver on my shelves or your shelves. It was like a short story book that I read.

And it was a guy, a guy was like writing short stories about like giving birth to a dog. Do you remember that? Yeah, that was like, it was like a McSweeney's writer from like 2004. Five dog days or dog And it's good It's like I don't know why But somebody was like this is These are funny stories

You'd like these I'm like oh I'll buy a book of short stories Yeah okay We'll find out who that guy is And we'll say his name now Hey everybody It's Milan A.k.a recollection boy

And in honor of X month I'm going to use all of my recollecting powers To think of this name Trying to recollect this Information for the pod come on the boys need my help it's Arthur Bradford

and the name of the book is dog walker all right back to the show because I would like that when you're lulled into I think this this happened with a few films geez I sound like a fucking film freak movies recently where I love a flight of fancy

when you when you're when everyone is playing by the same rules. And then like that book, you're reading it, a guy's like, I was living in Texas and I'm in a duplex and I would hang out with my neighbor. I'd go next door and get drunk with my neighbor. And then eventually kind of deep into the book,

like a human gives birth to dogs. And you're like, oh, yeah. You're allowed to do that in a book. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. He lived in, it was like, it seemed like that was when like Austin was weird

and cool before it got like, whatever everyone knew it was. Oh, I kept Austin weird. Oh, that was. you, that's great. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, like, it seemed like a real weirdo, hipster-Austinie guy before, like,

I even knew what that was. You know what I mean? I don't know. Interesting. I'm working on a comedy sketch where there's, like, an Austin hipster from 20 years ago. And then there's a modern-day Austin comedian who goes and calls that guy in the R-word.

Republican. Mike. Michael. All right, what's the actual booze news? Okay, well, Springy is a pro. And in fact, you know, baseball spring training has begun. Has it not? Oh, great.

It has. Love that. Jeff. Well, you may not be so pumped about opening day of MLB coming in late March, but you'll tell you what, they are baseball players or athletes. And here you are a gym rat. So you both like to have active lifestyles. That's true. My lifestyle is like theirs.

Active. Would you say Jeff or Shohei Otani works out more weekly? More often? Yeah, more hours. Showhay Otani. Jeff, do you know who Shoahe? Do you know what Otani is? Yeah, I do.

He's a Fortnite skin. I love it. That's how he started out and then he got into baseball. And then he came into the real world. Anyway, I was thinking about how my co-hosts are Jim Rats. and I was thinking about how baseball season is approaching. And then there was a viral clip this week that kind of checked both boxes. And I wanted to bring it in and play it in Booz News.

Former MLB All-Star Sean Casey was he's been interviewed by Cal Ripkin Jr's son. We all know Cal Ripkin Jr. was dubbed the Iron Man because he had the record for most consecutive games. Iron Man. Okay. This has held me. He was a very Tony Stark. Starkest. Okay.

Commentators during the game, like, here he comes. He's a starkass. Here he comes. Where is he going? He's going over to the booth. With this noise, he's walking up to the plate. But yeah, they hate that when you walk up to the booth

with a bat. He's going to break the microphones. I know what he's going to do. It's threatening. So, Sean Casey was telling this story about how when he was a rookie for the Cleveland Indians in the late 90s, they played the Baltimore Orioles. And after the game, his coach was like, hey, rookies, you got to make sure you go lift. So they went to the clubhouse. This is like a shared gym in the clubhouse. And here is the

story that Sean Casey told. Hit it. So I remember coming in to get my lift in and dude, seeing your dad, I'm like, oh my God, there's Cal Ripkin. Holy crap. It's incredible. He's at the lap pull-down machine. And I'm looking closer. I'm like, there's Cal Ripke. He's doing lap. Look at that back. He's jacked.

These guys bigger than I thought with six, with six bud heavies on ice. And I go, is that what you got to do to be one of the greatest players ever? When you come into lift, you've got to have six bud heavies on ice in a little cooler that you know the club. He was like, here's your butt heavy. Yeah. And then I watched your dad workout. And I was like, I don't think his workout ends until those butt heavies are done. So he was like going around, he'd drink one.

And I think he might have walked out with zero or one. Bud heavy. Oh, yeah. That's how I was like, yeah. Zero or one bud heavy remaining. Zero. That's crazy. That seems like, like, just the science is like alcohol takes the oxygen out of your

blood and muscles, right? Isn't that? But you trade off, you get courage. Yeah, you get courageous maybe. Oh, yeah. You don't feel the burn as much. Also, Arnold says, I don't know if it's for like lifting. but I mean is there I there's no protein in beer right like there's no actual like this

protein I think there's a protein there's carbs oh yeah but alcohol too there's bubbles he Arnold was a big proponent of drinking beer after workouts I think in the really in pumping iron he's like when you're baby you drink milk when you adult you have to drink beer well that's not gonna help his looks maxing these days because it's gonna blow them the next day blow them while I don't think that the science works out, I do understand like six butt heavies on ice and if that's like the clubby assistant guy

who gets that for you every day. Like making something an event helps you stick to it. So if you play 162 baseball games a year and if you like to wind down by lifting or whatever, if you know you're like, oh, I'm going to sort of like get a buzz going while I work out. I feel like it would help. I mean, obviously,

I'm not advocating. Like, yeah, drink six beers every day. Like, I feel like there's things in life where you make it a thing. Like, I've gotten better about like jogging or hiking because I'm like, oh, I'm listening to that audio book or, you know, something like that. The ritual of it. But even just that story, I was picturing six bottles of red label Budwisers that made me say, I got a lift. That's going to get you in the gym, the promise of a six pack of butt heavies. It feels like a beer commercial of that era.

I'm just like, hey, we're doing this thing that doesn't require beer. Well, here's a couple beers to make it better. I bet Budweiser. I love that. The idea of Cal Ripkin doing lat pull downs with a six pack of cold buds on ice. That's a good image. It's awesome. A good image to me.

That's awesome. For some reason, I'm picturing the, like, that he's in jeans, too, like that RFK Jr. video that came, like him and Kid Rock. It just seems like a working out in jeans move to have buds. A couple buds on ice. It is so weird when people or David Cross used to have a funny stand-up joke about how he was like he was going

he was going for a hike but he brought a little notebook with him to write down comedy ideas and then he was like I'm going to jog home and as he was like people thought that he was being chased or something if you're jogging and you're holding a book it's like if you're wearing normal clothes

people are like where are you running to? Why are you running? That's always great too at the gym when you see a guy coming from work and it's like, ah, he just forgot to bring his fucking shoes this morning. He's wearing wingtips. He's wearing wingtips.

Yeah, I've tanked up shorts and wingtips. Is that it for booze news? Wrap it up. I'm like getting the feeling of coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home. I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up. When I bows out in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling.

So I'm coming day and night. All right, folks. out of the way. We turn our attention to the drink of the day. Oh, yes. The test pilot, you've had? No. I may have.

Ooh. The Tiki Bar in Santa Barbara in the Funk Zone called Test Pilot. You've been? Yes. This, I remember. I want to say it was Scott Gerdner's wedding? Joe Saunders. Joe Saunders. Joe Saunders'

wedding, yes. That's a great wedding weekend thing when you get into a routine where like after the rehearsal dinner we went out to this teaky bar like this place great and then after the reception we're like still on a drink so we went to go back there and then Sunday night well guys we'll go back there like well three nights a row on a teaky bar okay well there is this part of town called the funk zone do you guys want to check that out I love it I love Stanapar did funk stand for so was it was an acronym for something uh or just no it was just them being dork it's it's you know like hey let's get this uh formerly industrial zone like uh

turned into wine tasting rooms and then they're dorky up there. So they called it the phone zone. It almost felt like it was like they brought the, you know, the container, ship containers there to turn them into stuff. Right. They ship them in. They funk them up. Okay. So the test pilot is a classic Don the Beachcomer drink.

We all, we've talked on the beachcomer when we talked about the zombie and he's a swashbuckling, kind of a guy, seafaring man. but you know instead of listening to me tell you about this drink and and uh don the beachcomer's history and everything yeah tim we listen to you plenty trust me 33% of the pod sometimes when i'm really yapping you know when you're really yapping you hit 33 when you guys get me going i hit my 33 um i try to lay back but you guys tim no no so this week i went to the los feels his library and I took out this vinyl album. It was called The Anthology of World History and there's a track about Don the Beachcomber so I thought we play it. Oh, great. Don the Beachcomer, aka Ernest Gant, was a swashbuckling man of the South Seas who started the first Tiki bar in Hollywood, California

in the 1930s. He invented the zombie and a slew of other classic rum rhapsodies. Some say he grew up in New Orleans. Some say Jamaica. Some say Texas. Legend has it. This rugged raconteur worked on cargo faders in the South Pacific. And during World War II, he was in the Air Force. And that's why he has a drink called the test pilot. Oh my gosh. Jesus Christ. I hated that.

Too much of that one bird, I think. Yeah. I hated it. I hated that. I guess it was a crow bird. Yeah, that sucked. There was a bird in the way. That was a very, very Hitchcockian. Yeah. Oh, right.

They must have been recording right to vinyl, though, because you get the one take and that's it. You can't do anything about it. I wonder if they film that, yeah. Jeff, you're right, it was hitchcockian because I was listening to that and I was picturing, reek, reich, reich. Psycho, baby. Ah, the psychotic knife.

I'll never shower again. Okay. Kevin, you should have said that when you were done weightlifting at high school. Hey, uh, Duds, go shower. No, no, I saw Psycho last night. No, no, I, I, I keep seeing Psycho. Yeah. Okay, well, um, I, I couldn't really tell because of the loud bird.

But anyway, apparently Don was in the Air Force during World War II. He named this drink the test pilot because it's the, it ended up being the precursor to his more popular drink the jet pilot. which has cinnamon and grapefruit, and maybe someday will make that on pod. But here is the recipe for today's test pilot. Great. One and a half ounces dark Jamaican rum.

Three quarter ounce, light rum. See, he's mixing rum. The mark of the man. Nasty. Half ounce quantro, half ounce joas deline, fresh squeeze lime juice. Half ounce phlearnum, which we bought for episode two of the podcast. Yes.

I had to dust. This is a true duster. Nasty stuff. It's kind of a clovey liqueur. Yeah, I forget what this tastes like. If you can't find Florham, folks, it's taste like might be a little bit of allspice or clovee. Google it.

Not old spice, Jeff. No, no. And not posh spice. The way she danced at her son's wedding. Tim, go ahead. You're pissed off. Well, Jeff, you take a quick, go get some air. I'll tell Mike.

One dash Angostura bitters. drops per note. Now, this is a black licorishy tasting French liqueur that we also bought way back in the day, I believe, for the zombies. So the guy likes that. No, no, I think the zombie had absinthe, but folks, you can use sambuca or absinth

or whatever if you don't add the fuck. Uzo. Me too. Give it a book. Garnish is maraschino cherry. Here we go. Add all ingredients into a blender with a cup of ice and blend at high speed for five seconds. So I don't think you have to blend if you do a vigorous shake with some crushed ice.

I'm blending. But it's just five seconds. I'm blending. You know, you blend until ice is crushed but not smooth. Pour into a double rocks glass adding more crushed ice to fill if needed. Garnish with a speared Maraschino chairs. Yow! Youch!

That sounds great, Tim. I got a wonder, though. Hey, we got stems for a reason, bud. that's that's we know what that is his response is getting speared yes we got stems for a reason bud yes yes I'm trying to tell you listen you don't listen why did he I suspect when he called this the test pilot he knew he knew that it was going to be the jet pilot was going to be coming up but you it was all part of the roll I think it was part of it. That's cool.

Or maybe he renamed it after the fact. Is it just lucky that it was like, good thing I called that one the test pilot, because I just came up with a better version. And I can name this one something better. Yeah. Well, do we go blend these up? I didn't really think I'd be blending today.

This is a, this is quite a shock, Tim. I tried to tell you. I wish we had gotten the memo a little earlier. All right, folks, we're going to go blend these up. And when we get back, first sips in the funk zone, baby. I live an on-the-go lifestyle. That's why I'm going on tour to see all the sloppy boys' shows this spring.

Los Angeles, March 20th at Zebulon, Phoenix, March 21st at Valley Bar, Salt Lake City, March 23rd at quarters. Denver, March 25th at Marquis. Dallas, March 27th at the Texas Tea Room. Houston, March 28th at the White Oak Music Hall upstairs. Atlanta, May 21st, center stage vinyl. Knoxville, May 22nd, open cord. Nashville, May 23rd, East Side Bowl, and that's part of George's Fest.

Come on out, get tickets online. Online. That's where the tickets are. You know it. That's right. We're back in the funk zone. It's the sloppy boys right back with you. We got the test pilot.

Ooh, babies. Oh, Mike. That's a cool budwine. This is a mug, a Budweiser mug that I believe his name was David in Philly gave us. His name was David in Philly. David in Philly. Tim would have one of those too. It was in Philly.

It was when we played, the last show we played in Philly, that was a wonderful show. Milk boy, sold it out. Milk boy, that was great. And you see this shirt I'm wearing, guys, Dante's Tavern. When we were in Chicago, this is the place that bought us. They brought pizza on stage to us. The pizza is essentially crowd surfed. I remember seeing two hot pies float through the audience and laying on the stage.

Folks, that's what you get at this sloppy bush. Yeah. It was like a, it was like a concert out of a fucking teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. But this is what we're saying, folks. Come to these fucking shows this March. It is going to be wild stuff happens. And also, if you have a pizza place, bring a pizza and crowd surf it to the stage. Hey, one time we, somebody got jacked off at one of our shows.

What? A lady got fingered. Oh, that's what it was. Okay. Oh. And the best part of the story, not a young couple, little-aged couple. And even a better part of this story, not a big show. Kind of a sparse crowd.

This was a 25-person crowd, maybe. Coast of Mesa strip mall, nobody's there. two of them are engaging in the sexual acts. Well, that was the wayfarer. Yeah, oh my God. Yeah, that was a great night. That was a fun show. Hey, Jordan Morris was there, so I'm happy.

Sure. Sure. And, yeah, okay. Folks, bring it. We like when you bring pizzas on stage, but also if it's a regional, let's say we're in Phoenix and you bring us fry bread. Ooh. You ever think of that?

Yeah. Let's say we're in Houston and you bring us up to some of those, like, bags of shrimp that have been boiled and give us some plastic gloves and we're digging in, you know, that type of thing. We want the local delicacy on stage during the show. Folks, you want to hear a little chewing. Tim's singing a song and he's got a little bit, he's like a gerbil. He's got a little bit of food in the cheek. He wants the food in the cheek and he wants the third base stuff at home.

Keep that at home. Speaking of eating on stage, though, do you remember we had a great show in Columbus, Ohio, and somebody brought us a pizza that was a very good pie. It was from a place, I want to say, Goddies or Gadas or whatever. and it was like a real good Midwesty pizza with like sausage and stuff on it. And I just loved it. I'm so picky about pizza being hot and I knew I didn't want to eat it after the show. So I was eating as fast as I could on stage.

Like like quick slice on stage. Like, you know, I mean, there's enough vamping during a sloppy bowl show that it didn't feel like a stop down. But it was so I remember like getting up from the drums, walking, walking around, grabbing a slice. That was Gordon night. That was Gordon. That was a huge night. That was a great show. Somebody online though called me up.

I had to slice like sitting on my music stand where my set list was. And then I was between songs like pushing it into my face. And someone was like posted a video of it. Wait, he was on a music stand like a piece of paper. Like a piece of music. And then I was trying to get it in there. And I was like, you know, pushing with my palm jamming it in there. And somebody posted a video of it and was like, Jesus Christ, Tim.

We should take a sip of these, but I got another piece of thing to say just a second. I already ate my luxardo. I'm happy to give it a little melt. Guys, I have a Vitamix, so I accidentally blasted this into a smoothie. It's tough. A tough not to. I have a, whatever,

Hamilton Beach, whatever, or an Esther or whatever. But five seconds on high, some cubes didn't get touched. Some cubes snow. Liquidated. Okay. That's that Don the Beach, Comer, that, the two room. The fuller,

It tastes like Don Beach, man. I was going to say this is, this is just like teaky, this is a teaky drink. This tastes like every other teaky drink, which I love. Which, which, we haven't done teakies. I haven't had a teaky in a long time. We got to do more. That's why we were like, let's get back in the room zone.

And like this summer too. I mean, hey, we're getting a jump on it. It's March. I'm not complaining, but let's get a bunch going this summer. Isn't that funny how stuff comes in waves where like, I have loved Tiki for a long time but then sometimes there was like a little burst of like a lot of Tiki bars opening

and then like a lot of Tiki content on Instagram and there's an Ebb and Flow. And just for whatever reason recently we're like I can go for some fucking Tiki drinks. It's been a while, you know? Yeah. What did you guys use for Jamaican rum? Myers.

Oh, okay. That's very dark. That's very dark. Smith and Cross. That's the one I can't treat myself to that nice one. You know what I mean? Smith and Cross, that's good. I was wondering if Appleton Estate was dark enough. It is Jamaican rum, but if you're going by color, I'd call it a gold or an amber, not a, not a Jamaican dark.

Mine looks lighter than your guy. You guys have a little more of a red hue to yours, orangish hue. Mine's a little more yellow. There's a certain taste that comes out with the actual dark rums. Myers got a little sharpness to it. Yeah, I probably have Myers. I didn't comment before, but as I was mixing it up, the two different amounts of dark rum too is,

or dark and light rum is interesting. Any two rums, slobeds, use any two rums. It comes out taste in teaky. Any two rums will do. I will say, Appleton Estate is my go-to for a teaky funk. Delicious. Oh, it's so good. They have it at Tiki tea.

And I was like, if it's good enough for Tiki tea, it's good enough for Jeff E. And it's enough for freaky tea, me. For free for free tea. Yeah, I think that should become a staple at the, at the, what, freaky tea? The tiger room.

Oh, sure. Yeah, well, do you think you would, Tim, I mean, you're not going to have at the tiger room, there's just not enough space to have a lot of, uh, client volume, but would you make stuff like that? Like, would this take too long to do teaky drinks?

Or are you thinking you're going to do more just mix cocktails? No, this, this would be perfect. The issue, I got to fire some of the belly dancers. They take up too much space and I can't fit the blender in there. So it says a few of the go-go girls got to go. Sorry. Candy, Sandy, you're out.

Mandy, you stay because you can cook. You're working in the kitchen. Mandy is dandy. But we're sisters. That's okay. It's just work. You would break up our family. No, it's your job.

No, you'll see each other at home. You don't live here. Hey, you don't all live here. Not yet. Only candy who rents out space under the Western facing desk. Some of the belly dancers live here, but you don't all live here. You don't all. There's no room.

So wait, wait, wait, wait. It's the Tiger Room at the what lot? What now? The Calpi Lounge? My place is called Calpies Hideaway. Right, right. And then when you come down the hallway past the beaded curtain, you step in. to the tiger room.

Is it going to be like, it's the tiger room at Calpies Hideaway brought to you by Capital One, like the Capital One lounge of the Tiger Room, brought to you by getting on it. How many levels down are we going to go? And it's all part of Sona. Right now it's the Badger Bev's lounge

brought to you by Reverend guitars and ice made clear. Yeah, yeah. A Badger Bev's auxiliary club. A Badger Bev's company. Rear. God, that reminds me of when we were on tour in DC and we stayed at that weird

like what do you call those like a mixed use space? Yes and it was like oh yeah I'm at a I'm staying at the towers by Avalon at the yeah like it's at the commons and we're in the towers by Avlon a gamble industry oh man this is oh what I was going to say before

about pizza let me just throw this out there before the uh it's rounded that ends up in triangles later that's yes I keep seeing this Instagram video of this guy Maybe he's a delivery kid But he's like a kid comes into a pizza place It's like the security camera

And they're like, okay, here's these two pizzas to take And the kid takes him And immediately like picks them up And for some reason flips them over and carries them And the two guys work in there It's just like whoa, whoa and they're not mad There's like, what are you doing man? That's like you flipped them upside down

You can't do that It's just like the complete wrong thing to do with a pizza and the guy is like baffled by it's really funny i've seen people like uh do the they take the pizza and they kind of put it under their arm like a briefcase like upright yeah yeah yeah and like you're not supposed to do that but what was this guy thinking doing a complete 180 yeah it's like it's like what what did you think you were picking up yep freaking idiot i um i really blew it because i i'm loving the tasteless drink uh it's not really fucking around It doesn't have a lot of juice.

You know what I mean? There's only that one half has a left. So you're getting all the Don Beach taste. But I overblended and I have these little cocktail straws. So I physically can't suck it into my life. I need a straw because I don't want to chew all that ice. Yeah, I need a boba straw. It's just an icy drink right now.

And I'm trying to drink it between the ice. And it's good because it's slowing me down because it's basically just like rums and liqueurs. I got to issue an apology to fulurnum. I tasted it. I took a little sip. and it wasn't that clovey. It actually had a hint of citrus and it was sweet and it was nice

and it reminded me that when we were on tour, a nice slophead in Pittsburgh gave us a bottle of Kraft Flurham that we then drank on stage in Cincinnati. Oh yeah. And it was, it's a very dynamic liqueur. That phlearnum, if I remember correctly, came in a cool bottle.

It was kind of a unique... It was like Matt Black. It was like a Matt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cool. Oh, murdered out. Nice.

I like that. Hey, you guys seen a lot of those cars these days? The color, the muddy color or the matted out? The clay?

The putty clay ceramic. You can't unsee it. It distracts me every day. I can't go out anymore. It's not worth it. Every moment.

Ah, there's nothing out there for me. No, surely, Jeff, there's roads you haven't ridden before. No, no. I don't want to see it.

No, no. I thought it was weird that when, when you guys were first talking about that, I was just picturing a handful of clay type colors. Like there was the cactus green. And then like a, and a kind of like a

Topey Santa Fe orange type of a thing. Now it's it's just like that phenomenon like lustreless paint in every color. And like colors that you wouldn't. They're not even really doing it. But even like black, you know, anything. Black I feel like was always black.

And that doesn't feel like weird to me. But then like, or even like, what about lusterless black? And not Matt Black. Lustreless. It's not Matt. We don't have to. And not Dan Black either. We don't have to relitigate this whole thing. But yellow, I feel like yellow always looked like that. You see a yellow car.

My friend used to have a yellow Honda CRX, a tiny little thing. That didn't have like a metallic sparkle to it. It was just yellow. It looked like a cab. You know, like that doesn't seem weird to be. But you don't have a sparkle. to it. You have that beautiful reverend guitar behind you there, Jeff. Oh, yeah. The turquoise boy? Yeah, it's got, it's got that.

That feels like a real like, what's that, like a 50s dinery color to me, like the sparkle. I'll tell you, I find myself reaching for it, which is, you know. That's good. That's good in a guitar. Reach for the reverent. Mm-hmm.

Well, hold on. You also got my, how about reach for the reverend? Bow-beow. Folks, if you want to see it, it's the Chris Freeman's signature from Reverend Guitars. My God. Morgan Freeman's little brother? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right.

I'm going to grab a straw. I want to get a boba straw. I have one. Okay, yeah, okay, I'm going to grab one. I'll sit here and hold it down because I have a straw, so I'll talk about this straw. All right, I got this straw that's, well, it's pretty much standard straw length, which I, I'm guessing here, but I'm going to say a little under a foot. I'm going to say 10 inch straw here, a little bend in it.

It's rubbery. It's sort of the vinyl, the vinyl straw vibe. It's purple. Came in a set of, I want to say 10, and some of those have been lost to the sands of time, unfortunately. But the ones I do have are holding up very well. Jeff is back. What kind of straw did you get, Jeff? Hello, I got two.

I got a boba from our grape ape. Oh, big boba, thick gauge. And then just your normal size straw, which I think I might, I don't want to suck up the ice. I want to drink the drink through the ice. Yes. You know, I meant to do some crush, to crush ice before we did this and I forgot. But you know what I did? And I think you two might have this.

Some pebble would be perfect. Some pebble. Yes. It would be perfect. I got just a little like plastic bin. to keep all my ice in, like, after it's made in the maker, like, put it in a bin. It's so nice just having to reach in and pop in. So I feel like a real fucking bartender in there.

That's a nice, you know, we talk about those little moves that just makes it feel like, hey, look at me. I'm, like, I'm a fucking chef in the kitchen here. Yeah. Well, you feel like one. Well, like when, too, like for Calbee's Hideway, you got the little baskets. Like, it's like, yeah, that feels like I'm doing something. I'll tell you. Yeah.

When you order the mozzarella sticks at Kelpie's Hideway, yeah, of course. Yeah, and then one of the belly dancers comes and, like, you know, they do the trick where they're doing the belly dance and there's a mozzarella stick getting like flipped and rotated. Yeah. It's good. It's good to talk about the Calbee's Hideaway as if it's like in the past tense because it just gives you the idea of what it is. What it is? All we do is talk about what we think it should be. And Tim will just go through the notes here and yeah, give it to a contractor. It'll make it.

Yeah, I'm getting the vibe of it before I even have to open it. But I will say what I really want, in reference to food at Kelpie's Hideaway, I want it to be like, hey, can I get a basket of mozzarella sticks? And I'm like, kitchen's closed. Yeah. And then I'm back in the Tiger Room and people are like, oh, man, too bad we can't have mozzarella sticks. And I'm like, oh, no, the kitchen is open for one more hour. You know what places have, truly my favorite bar in Los Angeles is the middle room at Red Lion. and I also love the patio

and I also love eating dinner downstairs in the dining room but the way they move you around on a Friday night they're like middle bars closed so you go out to the patio and then they're like patio's closed

then you go downstairs you're like like hey I'm just here to tell you that the middle bar opened up you got to get up there they're asking about you middle bars back open the door is sort of

sort of a nice little hobbit hole that's what I like you get your walnut schnaps you saddle up to the middle bar. Yeah, I really like that middle bar. It feels like you're stepping in out of us, you know, a storm somewhere. It's great.

And one night I was getting, I was kind of chatting schnapps with the German lady who was a bartender in the middle room. One night. Every time you go there. I do love her. And she's opened my eyes to the world of egg schnapp. But it was like a Friday night. And she's like, come back on Sunday.

I'm doing the special German drink where it's like a coffee cocktail that I light on fire. And I was like, okay, I'll be back on Sunday. And then I came back Sunday. The middle room was so packed. I couldn't get in there. I saw, I peaked around. I saw her making the drinks, but I couldn't get in. So I sat out on the patio. She's like, it's like, it's like the bodyguard. She's like, let him in. Let him. He's my star pupil. And I had that thing of like, it was like, and then everything was, sounded like distant and quiet. I was like, where is Stacey? But then I sat out on the patio and I was like, no, that's fine.

I was like, I'll have a Bratworth and can I have one of these flaming coffee drinks? And they're like, oh, sorry, we don't do them out here. And I was like, what? He's like, you have to drink those in the middle bar. And I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck? I mean, a lot of bars, like, it'll be like, kitchen's closed. And you'd be like, oh, fries.

And they're like, fine, we can do fries. So the kitchen is not closed. Or like, they'll have like certain things you can do and certain things you can't. I don't know. That happens a lot. Fine, you can have fries is, that should be on a T-shirt. Slabby boys. Okay, fine, you can have fries.

Culture starts here. They say kitchens, everyone says kitchens closed too mean, and then they feel bad. And they go, let me check if the fried deep fryer is still on. But a red lion, I love the whole staff there. There's like several servers who are wonderful there. And they do it in a way that's not rude. It's just funny, the rules of the place. rude.

I'm finally tasting this with my boba straw and God, I love... Are you sucking in too much ice though? Do you find yourself chewing and shopping that ice? I'm trying not to get the ice so much. I'm doing okay. I'm just sort of... I let it get a little melty, but it's just so interesting how the tongue works. You know, when we talk about the subjectivity of taste,

like the three of us don't love mescal, the three of us don't love dry vermouth, stuff like that. This taste that is multiple rums, lime, and then something weird. I don't know if I, I can't remember the first time I tasted it, but like, I love it so much. I don't want to do this, but it would be fun to

you're going to laugh when I finally say the thing I'm going to say. I would love to do all these. like one of each of these drinks in a row. So let me start this again. This one's hitting me. This drink,

that's the other thing. There's a lot of rum in this guy. Yeah, I know. It's a little early too. Yeah, me too. We're recording early in the day today. So that Mike can hang out with John Haskell later.

But we're recording early and I have, I only all I ate was a cavendish banana. Oh, no. Oh, wait a minute. Mike, if you're hanging out with Haskell later, who am I going to be playing Fortnite with? Haskell's brother, Maddie. Dude,

it is, there's a blizzard happening right now in New York that I might even not even be hanging out with that. Who even knows? This whole day got fucked. So you might be dropping in. Oh, you might be dropping in. I might be dropping in. I might be dropping out. I started a graduate program. Tune in, turn on, drop out. Now, Mike, also remember your friend Tim sent you some tablature for a sloppy boy's song that he wants you to practice on bass. So you got to hit that pretty hard. I know. Jeff, I can't drop in. I got to practice. base. I got to work. I have bass practice. My boss needs

me to do this. You're like, I'm your boss. I'm the drummer. Oh, yes. Mike, we're not clear on who's the boss. Hey, Tim, can Mike come out and play Fortnite? Yes. Come on, go back into his house. Only for eight hours. I want to play. Let me ask Tim.

But what I was about to say is, I'd like to have, however many ingredients are in this drink, I'd like to have that many drinks. And each one doesn't have ingredient. Does that make sense? So each a test pilot would have all. Ingredient shootout. Yeah. And I'd be like, ooh, because I'd like to see

what, this would be for any drink, but I just like to, would like to see how important each one is to, because I was just thinking about the next. What are the, what are the six drops of per node really bring into the table? Right. My theory is that it's not as much as I love this drink. I don't think it's a perfect

alchemy of those things. I just think it needs to be something weird. I think the Angus Stewart would have done it. or the per node would have done it, or Florum, let's be honest, would have done it. But I do think maybe Falunum sweet, so then bidders are bringing the edge back. And there's a little bit of a balance going on. Oh, my, my Sambuca, I didn't, I had to buy a new one. And it wasn't this brand of Sambuca that you always see with like the Roman Coliseum. Yeah, it wasn't that.

It was some other one. Antica, I think. And I unscrewed the top and it had a little speed pour thing on it. I was like, that's nice. Oh, that's fun. Wait, a speed pour or the opposite of a speed pour? A slower downer? The dripper thing.

I thought that was called a speed port. What is that thing called? I call it like at a bar where you turn up saying count. Yeah, yeah, I call it a speed poor. Oh, interesting. It was cool to have that like in my house. I'm going to get one of those too. That would be fun to pop in some bushels.

I'm speaking of things that pour in specific ways. Yes. I want to hear about a calpi. I always post my elves, but I want to hear about a big Calpe W recently. Yeah. I love that. I was at Hillhurst Liquors. You've been?

I've been to Hillhurst Liquors? Shares shares a parking. Jesus, an apartment. I'm drunk. Shares a parking lot with Yucas tacos. Well, you know, these days with, you know, AI technology being what it was, apartments will be having interactions with each other. I think.

Yes. Yeah, I do know Hillhurst Lickers. Yes. I had a Yuccas Asada Taco the other day. Tim, take it away. Oh, you should have had the double cheeseburger plane. That's what I got. Anyway, it's a very normal,

Norm core liquor store with like a yellow sign that says liquors. And, you know, you know the place, you know. Nobody's buying anything. Like, you know, I love the place, but it's like lots of, lots of alcohols being sold and then the same bag of chips will be. there all year, that kind of the place? Yeah, you don't go for the personality. It's a type of place where it wasn't this place,

but where we saw ice cream cones that were expired in 92. Diverr's circus liquors up in the valley. But Ted Vi, where it's like the liquor, but we also have other items for. And I love these places and I make a point to patronize them. Tim, they remind me of New York's bodegas, which I am in eternally grateful for.

What about a bodega? a cat. Yeah. What's the deal with a bodega, Mike? And why's there always a cat

hanging around? The deal with the cats is, I'll send you guys a Instagram account. You're going to love it. I went in there when we did our Ounderberg episode. I went in there and I talked to the owner,

who's like an older Eastern European guy, well-dressed dapper Dan. And I was like, hey, you have Ounderberg? And he's like, what? And I was like,

it's like, uh, biters. It's like a little. little bottle. He's like Angostore. I was like, no, no, it's like a German DGST. And he's like, I don't know. And then he looked it up on his computer and he's like, hey, our supplier carries it. Would you want me to order some? And I was like, oh, yeah, that would be great. And I'm a sucker. I'm a neighborhoody guy. I like when I get that type of hospital town. Yeah, yeah. Now, the thing is, he ordered it. I needed some for that day's podcast. So I went and I'd end up buying it at Cap and Cork, I believe. Right. But I still let this guy order some for me just because I enjoyed, I liked the interaction. You helped the business, man, because look, you should go and buy three or four of them just

be like, hey, I'm the guy you ordered these four. I'm buying some. But he should know that those sit on the counter and people go, oh, I'll take one of those. Oh, it's a DJ Steve. This is exactly what happened. And the next time, I go back in a few days. He gets it the next day. I go back in a few days.

Yes, prominently displayed right on the counter. he's got it's like the box and he's ripped the top off and they're sitting there uh pretty maids all in a row and uh they're they're sitting there and they have uh it's been like maybe i guess i didn't go back for like three four days they're all sitting there no none have sold yet so i i'm like i'm gonna buy some and i felt bad i bought six of them like and then and then he's like in a pack or like uh because there's are they the packs of winderberg or those i pulled six individuals out of like a 24 pack basically but he had ordered like a hundred than 50, like multiple things.

So I go, oh, he's not selling. And he's like, no, like, people don't know what it is. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. And I bought six of them. Then I come back, like, the next time, it's probably like a week later. And a couple more have sold it. I'm like, hey, people buying these. And he goes, this is the next pack.

Yeah, people have been buying them. Oh, this is awesome. I go back recently and I'm like, hey, man, now sometimes I'm just like going for a jog. I'm passing him on the sidewalk. I say, hey, now he's got, he's got gold, glasses. He's got jewels in his teeth. Suddenly there's a rolls roy's out in the parking lot. But I did. Like now I'm saying hi to him out on the sidewalk and he's like,

Ounderberg's is selling great. You know, like, and he said that he's like, you're like, this is the better version of when Jerry tries to help Babu. Babu. Yeah. He specifically said, once they start, there was like a week there where he's touching go. Once he started selling, he said, the kids like him. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Not, not the judge.

Well, I told him. I was like, technically, you know, are allowed to sell these without a liquor license because it's a DJ Steve, you probably could. But he, he, he cards people and stuff. But he meant like Gen Z is buying. So we did actually have this interaction. He was like people over 21. But like people in their 20s have been buying them and he said he's going to keep it on the inventory. So, hey, that's cool.

How cool is that? That helped him out. That's awesome. I'm surprised he's not like, Tim, what else you got? Yeah. Please, please. And I'm like, uh, fordum. He's like, you're the boss now.

You're like, what? Six drops of per node with hints of pernode. That's cool. That's great, Tim, because now you got like skin in the game for Hillhurst Liquors. Like, you're invested. Yeah, I'm a part owner, basically. Oh, wow. Here, you need to do this.

Listen to my words and listen to them well. You need to tell this guy, hey, let's, let's keep this thing going. And remember how I sort of started it, you give me all the Underberg points you get. Oh, I got a fucking, uh,

you know, sweatsuit I need, or, you know, suit I need to buy. The track suit. The dude, cut to me flying first class sitting in a green track suit.

Fuck! Because if you buy a big pack of them, they must give you like a, oh, it's the caps. I think it's something that's like, you bought a thing, you get,

I don't know, something, though. That's interesting. There's something in there. I agree. There could be something too that's like, hey, donate your caps for Tim. You got to find a way to leverage it for your own that's what I'm saying.

Take this nice human interaction you had with a local business and leverage it to your benefit. Capitalist style. It's 2026, Tim. How can you work this? I'm going to reach out to Underberg and say, hey, you guys are doing the thing with the caps,

but the cool thing with kids right now is no cap. So how about no caps? Leave your caps here. Yeah, you don't want caps around. I'll take the caps. Yeah, leave your caps here for Tim. I'll take the caps. I'll drive them way up north.

I'll dump them somewhere. You don't even know about them. It'll be great. Come back in two years, you buy the place with underbird caps. Hmm. Now, I'm only about halfway through. I'm done with mine.

I'm cooked. We got to make a sauce. second round. We got we got to go to break because the advertisers, the advertisers are hungry, man. Yeah. You know what I'm going to do on my next round just for something to do? I'm going to throw some grenadine in there. See if it gives it a little, something. You know what I think it will give it is a little red color and a little sweet sting. So I'm hoping just something different. But I am, I am, ooh, feeling this one. Me too. I'm getting pink cheeks. I've had a salad today and serious. What type of salad, noodle?

No, just some... No, no, I'm not about to go on stage. Damn, that's a good callback. From the memory, man. That was last week, I was like, I was like, Mike, do you do anything special before you're a stand-up comedy taping? You're like, no, probably just have some noodles salad. No, no, no, that's before a show.

Before I do the pot, I get a ham steak and some mashed potatoes. There you go. man I uh uh there was recently at albert since there was a special on ham i got a big giant 60 ham for like 15 bucks and i was eating through a spiral ham i couldn't do it i did i lopped a bunch off and put it in my freezer but i was having ham snakes for breakfast every day that's living man yeah was it was it was it was a glaze did it have like uh did you cook it or how did it work what kind of glaze it came with the glaze packet which i didn't i didn't use because i'm not i was glazing the ham in other ways, but

I'm, I don't, I didn't want to turn it into a sugary affair. It was already such a salty affair. And that's where my, that's my cue zone. Did you say it was cut already? It was it, uh, spiral cut. Are you chopping off a spiral and heating it up? Or did you like slow cook the whole motherfucker? Um, I, I see, you start by slow cooking the whole mutt of,

motherfucker. I mean, it's, it's, it arrives cured so you don't have to cook. The, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, uh, you are you, uh, a cookie motherfucker. But then I've got that sitting in the fridge, an enormous ham. Oh, the size of me.

I'm reaching in there, ripping off. That's so big. In the morning, I'm ripping off a steak, flopping in the skill of, like a sick. Other days,

I'm dicing it up. But, you know, I'm putting in my Italian salad, you know, making sandwiches. I'm doing all kinds of shit. But I only made it like a third of the way through this thing before I was like,

I'm going to talk to my cardiologist. I can't do anything with this meat. Enough. You made your point, ham. It's also that thing was like, I could eat this, but I'm just fucking my, I don't want the ham taste anymore. I hate.

Yeah, yeah. That's the issue with the ham is the ham taste. I could eat this. I just don't want the ham taste anymore. I hate ham. At this point. That was my issue because I, I in general am a person who I don't need to switch.

You know, people will be like, oh, I had Italian last night. I can't have it today. Like, I'm down for eating the same. thing many meals in a row. Me too. I'm a boring man. A week and a half a ham, I was like, enough with a fucking ham.

That should be the title of your book. Enough with a fucking hand. You know we should do, I've said this before, and we're going to do this this year on the pod, um, making like food stuff. Like I used a beautiful Luxardo cherry, uh, courtesy of Luxardo and one of our, one of our patrons. And, uh, but I also want to learn how to brandy my own cherries. And I also learned that you can make your own horsier.

out of mere oat milk. So I think on the pot it would be nice to... Almond milk? Yes, almond milk. Wow. Because that wouldn't make... Boil it down and sugar it up, huh? Yeah, boil it down and sugar up.

But we should on the blowout, make horsget, and then use it on the Friday drink. So, like, you kind of get... If you want to dig a little deeper, you listen to the main episode Friday, and you're like, and they're like, yeah, yeah. And then we used Orjat, which we made this week. if you want to check it out on the blowout. That's kind of good. That's very fun.

We take a deep dive in the drinks you love and then dig a little deeper this week. Hey, dig a little deeper. I'll sing a little louder. On that note, my grandmother used to make deviled ham sandwiches. Like, she ran like a catering company

with like deviled ham, you know. How does that? Yeah, what's? It's like tuna fish, but it's ham. Oh, I've had it. Yeah, ham salad? It's all chopped up like a ham salad. Oh, I love.

Oh, yeah. So how is deviled ham different? from ham salad. This is, ham salad has come up on the pod before. And I'm, I'm sure I like it because I like all foods,

but it's very funny. You guys were like, yeah, ham salad is bomb, you know. Ham salad is like, is like something, people in like the 40s,

eight or the 50s. And it's like, it's on what, it's cubes of ham with mayo. Yeah, it's a very grandmotherly. It's on white bread and wax paper.

It's like, yeah, yeah, it's gross looking, but I remember being like, being like, I want that pink slime, baby.

It's like an air. when people used to have lunch boxes and have like, here's my meal, my apple, and my coffee for lunch. Deviled ham is more finely mince or paste-like than ham salad. But it's seasoned with spicy ingredients like cayenne or mustard. Very cool.

Okay. We got X month. We're going to be deep in X month. But after that, I feel like we got to at least have ham weak. Yeah. deviled ham month. I think of Easter as ham time.

Yeah, that is the traditional. Ham time. That's good. Ham time. We're going ham on the sloppy voice podcast. That's good. That's good. It's going ham month.

And ham stands for ham all month. Also, we got on this because Tim said he was sick of ham. well it's in my freezer so I'm ready for him month are you guys going to do anything different with this oh I already said grenadine I'm going to I fucked this up with a blender so I'm just going to do the letter to law this time and I'm not going to blend I'm just going to give it a vigorous shake

law buying citizen I love that I probably got to make mine with less rum too rights I can't finish this episode I'm gonna do another one full strength full seam ahead uh full learn of but I want to see I have some Myers, and if I do have some Myers, I might go three rums. I mean, not like an additional

shot of rum, but you know, like they all work together. They all live in there. Folks, we'll be right back with more of the sloppy boys after these messages. Round two. Guys, I did, I noticed that when you turn an ounce and a half, in half, it's three quarter ounces. So you noticed.

Three quarter ounce light. Three quarter ounce gold, Appleton Estate. Three quarter ounce dark Myers-Rum. So this might be my, I haven't tasted it yet, but it has all the makings of my favorite drink I've ever sipped. Oh, oh, that you've never had before. This is, oh, this is more rums than I've ever used. Let's see, sip it and tell us if it's your favorite drink you've ever sipped.

Ooh, wee. What up with that? What up with that, Jefferson. Yes? I was. It's fantastic. Fantastic. Okay.

Now, let me tell you, I made mine to the letter of the law. This time I didn't overblend, so it was perfect. And A, as I poured into my glass, the sound was amazing. Hearing the slosh of enough liquid with crushed ice swirling into my cup.

The sights and sounds, once you have a, on its own, you wouldn't love that sound, but when you know that it comes with a teaky taste and a buzz, you're like, oh, that's, I'm not a hot stink. So I'm now drinking an appropriate test pilot. I love it, and I'll tell you why.

Do you guys remember last year we did both types of mitis, Trader Vic and Don Beach. I do, yeah. Everyone would think, look, Don the Beachcomer is a great guy and everything, but you would think, oh, you're going to have to give it to Trader Vic on the Mita. What about Vigperger on? Exactly. What the hell?

People say, and he invented the Mai Tai as we know it. So I think we all thought, and like Mitch joined and we... He invented the Mai Tai as we know it. No. The shocker to the pod, new listeners go back and listen, was we were like, yes, the Trader Vic one is pretty perfect, but also this Don Peach one's pretty fucking awesome too. And I just looked it up, guys, it's this exact drink plus like one ounce of of grapefruit juice.

So we're essentially having Don Beach's Mai Tai that's not diluted by juice. And so it's like a dry my tie. Yeah, yeah, we were saying, or one of you were saying it was like it's not juicy. Oh, a dry tie. Dry tie. And he didn't use Orjad.

He used the, like, the phlearnum to create an horsgut effect. I like Orjot better, but this drink is fucking great. I got to see this because it's so stiff served up in a martini glass. You know what I mean? The teaky drink that's for the nighttime, a fancy nighttime. Sort of the thinking man's teaky drink. That's nice. That's interesting to me because the coolness, the coldness is what I like.

You know, this feels like a hot weather drink to me. But it's so strong. Yeah. I mean, I just put a little bit of Grenadine mine and it's bright red. But you know what I did with this second round? And it's sort of, I was sort of testing a theory I was working on in my own pea brain. I kind of just took, all the bottles were laid out in front of me because I just made my first drink. And I just kind of splashed a little bit of each thing and maybe even forgot something and threw a little lemon in there.

And it tastes the same. Yeah, I know. Putting that shit in there in a, but you have to have a positive fun attitude when you do it. like, hey, making me, I'm just making whatever we got. That it tastes great. The attitude's part of the drink. Mike, when you were saying last segment about you wanted to taste, you want to make different versions of the drink that are just lacking an ingredient to see like, well, what happens

if we get the forum out of there or whatever? I thought you were going to say, like, I would like to line up the three like teakie drinks that I order the most and see if they're at all different. That's true too. Yeah. Put this and a mitai and a zombie. next to each other and I bet you I'm just like they're 90%

the same right? Yeah yeah yeah I wouldn't be surprised if if and this is again I've got a dumb tongue we've talked about but I wonder how much of people ordering teaky drinks is like I like zombie stuff or is this like I like the word mitai

I like Zavit Boveybonf I mean my tis are have become like a catch-all for bars to fake it and just be like, well, we make a Maitai like this. And it's like, well, with pineapple juice, lots of pineapple juice. Yeah, recipe drinks. And, you know, obviously some, some Tiki drinks have a very distinct profile, especially when you start bringing in like coconut and stuff like that.

But there are those middle of the road catch all hits, like the Mai Tai and like versions of the Mai Tai at Tiki where I just, I just love them all. and I do think they're about 80% the same. Yeah, fair. How do you rank the test pilot? Order again. How can you not? Oh, yeah.

O-A? And the booze news theme was by O-N-A? Owen A. I knew this is going to be an O-A just because of that O-N-A drop. This is getting weird. I like bringing out the blunder. I know I was talking shit. earlier. It's a pain in the ass.

You own it. I own it. And it's nice to send a little money down there to Hamilton Beach. They're hurting. They're hurting. They need your help. We should write a sloppy boy's song about Hamilton Beach. It's going to say it should be our next show at Hamilton Beach. I like it because Hamilton to me sounds so not

beachy. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton, put that down. You know, that sort of thing. Put down that hand. I'm going to say this is a This is a strong order again. I love this drink.

And if anyone in the Ernest Gant Don Beach's family is listening, I got to say thank you to your contribution to my tongue. My, I love the taste of slapbans. My boy's got to give it up. Again, if you've been following us for years, you know the deal. But maybe you're brand new. Maybe you're an indie rock kid who saw us opening for Antarctica Vespucci you just check himself for the first time.

I got to tell you this. A couple of different rums, doesn't matter what they are. Lime and then something weird, something sweet and weird to balance that out. You have yourself a teaky drink. Something borrowed, something blue. Now it's just weird that this guy just cooked this up. He wasn't like a real bartender. And these drinks didn't exist.

So I don't know why that ratio makes me feel like I'm on vacation. It just does. Vacation ratio. That's good. Vacatio ratio. Vacatio. The vacatio ratio. Folks, it's in order again.

I'm nervous for, you know, next week I think we should do the jet pilot, huh? Oh, you're saying you want to add grapefruit and cinnamon solution and possibly honey syrup or something like that. Cinnamon solution. No, that was the three dots in a dash. I'm scrambled, but I'm back on the teaky zone. I like it. And can I tell you something, Jeff? X month is

we're watching X-Men movies it's really it's that's a challenging month of my life so it really softens the blow if I get to have a teaky drink every week

yeah this is you know I can get a teaky month on the main and X month on the that's pretty good this is no way to kick off X month I can't keep a train of thought I was making

I was making round two and being like did I add the Sambuca damn more I know more I didn't add Sambuca to this one. I forgot. Actually, the one constructive bit of criticism I'll give is that, like, I don't really need any licorice anything in this. And so even, even the six drops of per node slash sambuca, I don't need that. Yeah. I agree. I'm not minding it, but I certainly don't need it.

And those six drops could be six more drops of philerm or whatever the fuck you need to balance it out. Right. And also, I was using the six drops of sambuca and I was like, great, at this rate, I'll be done with this. I'll be done with this bottle in fucking 2078. It's funny how often he says these six drops. Like, I think that comes up in his Mai Tai and the zombie and we're like, okay, buddy, there's different numbers of drops, pal. No, it's got to be six.

Like, when it's six drops, eventually, isn't it just like, I don't know, five milliliters? Yeah, yeah, that's a lot of drops. It's probably just a half ounce. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys. We release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, now's the time to get on the fucking Patreon,

folks. X month. X. We're watching X men. I'm trying to get Tim into it, or at least, at least see what's good about it. At least. Mike, we'll see. You're going to be a little tricky wicket as well.

We'll see. You know, you would say these are the, they're blockbusters, these movies, yes? Yeah. Yeah, I would say it. Good. That leads me very, this leads me perfectly into the, uh, quiz question of the show. Which was the first movie to be given the title blockbuster?

Jaws. Jaws is correct. I was too slow on the uptake, but I would have guessed Jaws. You would have guessed Jaws to the return. Return to Bruce. It's because Bruce the shark, he busts a block at the end of that movie. No, he chops through it, right? He takes karate lessons the whole movie.

Is that what that Jaws is about? In the post-credit scene, takes karate lessons and he jumps through a block. Wait, is Jaws 2 the return? No, Jaws 2 is just Jaws 2. Too bad. I guess I don't know everything

when it comes to Jaws. Jaws 3, the second return. All right, I'm, I'm out of here. What are you talking about? You got someplace to be? You're snowed in, Mike. You already admitted it. Bye.

Bye, folks. I know I should have killed my mouth shut. Goodbye folks Bye