The Sloppy Boys - 285. Amber Moon

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

The guys dive into the most questionable hangover cure ever devised-- a "hair of the dog" cocktail that boasts raw egg!AMBER MOON RECIPE:3oz Whiskey or Vodka1 raw eggTabasco sauce (to taste)Crack an egg into a highball glass, leaving the yolk unbroken. Pour in liquor. Add Tabasco to taste, or serve on the side.Recipe via WikipediaWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Oh, hi. And Tim Kalpacis. What he's up? We're coming at you live from the living room here at JD's house. Ooh, that would be cool if we had like, you know, sometimes we've talked about like an after hour's shirt. It's like after hours show.

It would be a talking slop. Or just like live from the living room. Live in the living room. I like after hour's shirt, though. Like something you put on. We have our normal shirt during prime time and then, oh, that comes to the after hour. So we just came up with a new word for pajamas. You're mad, Jeff?

Well, I didn't pack my after hour's shirt. The kids these days, they keep coming up with new words for, yeah, who's my platonic life partner? That's called a friend, folks. Jeff is so angry. Yeah, he's on one today. Oh, he passed out. This is sort of how it is in J.D.'s room. Oh, it offshed from the couch, the live.

in the living room. Live in the living room, JD's place. He's going on one of his rants. He just walked by J.D.'s room and it's like, I don't want to have it to go in there. I'll tell you something I know J.D.'s happy about it. I'm very happy about too.

And I learned it from J.D.'s socials. As you. You know how we hate when the grocery store and everything is all lucked up at our local Albertsons and Los Felas, they have unlocked the stuff. That's great. The stuff is out. That is always good to see. Let's give it up, folks. No, let's really give it.

That, like, honestly makes my life better. I, I'm so, I was so sick of that. It's so fucking, oh. And, like, you have to, sometimes, like, no one comes. You got to be. Well, definitely no one comes. And there's also not enough buzzers. Like, there would only be, like, four buzzers in the whole aisle.

And I wanted the business model for, like, okay, So we're not losing money to What do you call That retail retail? Yeah, yeah, shrinkage. No, there's a word for that. It's shrinkage. In shitification?

No, no, stealing from a store. Oh, robbery. Oh, robbery. Thet? Not theft. Retail theft. The five-fingered discount. You know what I mean?

It's a shrinkage. I gave it to you on a silver rider. No, it's not shrinkage, though. What's the word for? I was in the pool. All right. Wait, no, there's a word and we're all going to be like,

ah, that's... Now I'm curious. Oh, lossage. Shoplifting. Shoplifting. Shoplifting. Any amount of money that they save from no shoplifting,

they lost by people being, I'm not going to fucking wait any longer for the fucking guy. For sure. Also, like, I'm trying not to go to Amazon for stuff like toothpaste. So when I... Yeah, right, right.

When I go to Albertsons and they make me jump through the hoops, I start to pull up my little phone and go to Bezos's little web store. Bezos gets a tingle in his paint. I had a great idea. They should have done this. And they could still do this if they want to lock them back up.

You have a lifeguard chair at the end of the aisle. So there's somebody up there. Yeah, Pam Anderson comes running. Always watching. Or that's that I like. But you could also have those robots and sort of monitor the aisles and sort of sweep up some stuff. Yes. And then just around doing it.

Get a droid in there. You ever seen those guys? Like there's a spill like they like make their way to it. Hey, here was a funny scenario I found my way. I found myself. And this one kind of in the era of locked up stuff, this spun my way. And it was a nice silver lining. I was at CVS.

I used to love going to the CVS and Atwater Village, especially on a hot summer day. And it's ice cold in there. Ooh, yeah. And I poke around some toilet trees shop till I drop. But then they locked everything up and I was sad. Right, right. And then especially that one, if you, you want to get. get some deodorant, you ring the bell, you wait there for half an hour and like one really

tired guy is trying to hit everybody in the store. I feel bad for him because they're just like understaffed. Anyway, listen to this. The other day, I go to CVS. In fact, I was buying a liquor for this very pod. Ooh, I like it. I had first, I went to the, the pharmacy counter. I get my prescriptions, my monthly pickup. Then I put my prescriptions and they're in these like, oh, you got your Tony Soprano word. Okay. I take, they're in these two brown paper bags like stapling bags and I put

them in the pouch of my hoodie. Then I go about my shopping in the store, right? Oh. Then I'm buying some liquor. I had a guy. I have to come. It took forever to come and get me some liquor.

Then I go out to the front. I'm checking out. I'm the only customer there, right? I walk up to the front and the lady is ringing me up for my liquor. And she spies a bulge. A bulge in the pouch. And I kind of say, I'm like, I'm entering my phone number in the thing. I'm tapping.

I won't tap. I'm inserting. I'm sliding. She's like, I won't tap because I've given you the permission because you're stealing. While we're doing it, this is, sometimes I can be a weird guy. And this is an instance of it. Nice lady.

I'm a nice guy. This could have gone a lot of different ways. But instead, the way it went was I kind of see her clock the bulge. and I say, now Tim, nine times out of ten, I would say, oh, are you looking at this? These are paid.

But on this particular day, I was like, what? I wonder what will happen. Like, she's eyeing me. I wonder if she's going to. Oh, I know in a ride or action. Well,

I'm curious. She works for like a big corporation and I wonder if like how much she's going to go to bat for this company or whatever. And I was like, you know what, Tim,

you're bored. Let's hear if this lady confronts you. So I'm ringing up the thing. She's kind of looking at my boat. She kind of leans. kind of trying to peek what's in my pouch and I'm kind of enjoying this and then I hear

security to the front please and I'm like she had some sort of under the table button or some shit like a bank teller yeah right so then I'm like oh my god and I know I have the receipt this stuff's paid I'm not going to be in trouble so I'm like this is nice kind of a fun little thing

yeah yeah yeah like this is a there's a it's a no risk altercation yeah yeah yeah so I'm like you know what I'm going to see let this play out. And then she's ringing me up and stuff and that she still doesn't say anything. She's playing it cool. For all I know, she's shitting bricks back. But here's what's really funny.

The guy ain't coming because it takes so fucking long because the guy's all around the fucking store. Oh, letting people get into their deodorant and stuff, you know? So then I'm, now I'm like looking at her. And this time I see her hand go to a button.

You're both like, like you're like lip twitch. her like I do it. You're like, who's gonna shoot? This is a real Mexican standoff. But now this time I, now I notice her hand goes to a button

I can't see. I hear a tap of a button and I hear the same recording. Here to the front, please. And at this point, I'm like, bring it on. This is, let's see what happens. You reach across and you push you.

Yeah, but come on. Come on. Come to me. You don't know who you're fucking with me. I call the guy an old bitch on Jeff's street. And then. You were getting. in a lot of conversations these days.

Transaction ends. My receipt prints out. She pulls the receipt. She hands it to me. I'm like, okay, thank you. I walk out. Security never comes. Tim, wait. Did you have to walk through those plastic, those little plastic pillars that normally go like doop do. Yes, but my prescriptions didn't set them off because they were just paid. Because they're paid for.

Yeah, yeah. Now she's sleeping well. As soon as I stepped out of the building. But I mean, are they demagnitizing stuff there? It's not like it's like, you know, retail clothes will sometimes have that like magnet clamp in there. There's a lot of magnet stuff out there. There's a lot of maga stuff out there. Yeah, it's true.

This may, the, we were talking about, you're trying to think of that shop living word. I said in shitification. This kind of works. And have you heard about this with like Uber Eats or like delivery, like app delivery, delivery stuff? You can get charged differently depending on like your income with. I have heard that. There is like flex pricing or surge pricing coming to like grocery stores. In a way that you don't even real like you'll say I'll be on Jersey mics and it's like it'll

charge me if it knows my like it's got my data, you know, the app's got my data and it's finding out like what my credit card statement has been, how much money I make a year type of thing. And it might charge Jeff a different. If our incomes and stuff are different, it'll charge us a different place. This is the most dirty crooked shit. Like if you ever felt like forces in this. society, conspiring against you

to just extract every extra dollar you have and leave you with just enough. This is like absolute confirmation. If it sounds like the other way, if it was like low income people were getting a deal or something, then you'd be like, oh, okay. Well, I guess it goes that way too,

because if, but they'll try to get, like Jeff's saying, they'll try to get every penny, I guess. I don't know why I did this, but I got a Subway sub and I ordered on the app. Interesting.

I don't like Subway, but I live right next to one. I must have been in a rush. Yeah. I ordered and it was like 1395 and I was like, what I'm having to $5? And then I was like, that's crazy, $395. And then I went in the store and it was like $8.99 or something.

So I think I, they probably found out that Digman hit Netflix. Yeah, right. But also just just normal ass Uber Eats and normal ass app, you know, postmates. Yeah. There's so many like tax delivery fee, app fee. You want to tip the person.

And it's like you kind of are paying like. Price and a half or double for some of that shit. But it's, you know, like I was, when you see it here, like, oh, your data's getting mined every time you put your email down, I was always like, yeah, I don't even know what that means, like how it could affect me. And this is a crazy, like an example. I would never even think of getting in there deep. Well, can I, can I turn things to a positive note? No, I don't even know about a positive, but a different note. I have a cashier story as well.

Oh, shing. Maybe put a little, uh, Cash register. They're a meal and shishing, something like that. There I am at Albertsons. This is the very trip where I noticed that everything is unlocked. Mm-hmm. Unlocked.

I go to the teller because I've got some liquor for the pod. I can't do self-checkout as much as I'd like to. I was like Tim's story. And I sort of spot the lady who I know is efficient, you know. I go to her and I'm checking out. And she says to me, I know your birthday. And I was like,

I'm in the birthday boy sketch comedy group. And I was like, you know my birthday? She's like, yeah, May 8th, right? And I was like,

well, what's your, what's your birthday? Just making the conversation. She says, May 6th. I was like, oh,

maybe she remembers my birthday because it's so close to hers. And then she says, you're popular around here. What the fuck? I was like, huh? What do you mean?

And she's, And she's like, you know, you're here every day. I was like, oh, not here every day. Yeah. But she's like, yeah, you know, she checks my idea a lot because I come here from the pod. But I went from like being weirded out to being defensive, like, lady, lady, I'm not here every day. But yeah, shout out to Marissa. Edelda.

Oh, right. You know, probably a 56 year old woman at Albertsons knows my birthday, not my name. That's funny because I'm legit there every day and I don't get this type of attention. Well, you don't go to the same lady because she's fast. I think I, part of it is me going, picking her out because you get some people

who are new and they're fompering around. This lady, do this lady wear a veil, very, like light foundation, pale foundation. No, I know her too, though. She's nice. He's nice. I don't know her name, but she's cool.

Who's Michelle, Marissa? Another, older woman. Ha ha. I know her. She good. Mike, any, any grocery tales?

No, I'm just, it is so fucking hot. It's kind of fucking hot. It's crazy. You guys want to get into some booze news? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bip,

Bip, Boo's news, hit it. The signature sound of the obo. Pousoon or whatever that is. Obo.

It's booze, you classy, dude. Obo, oh boy, was sent to us. by Eric Kang, King Kang the Kangar and if you have a booze news theme email

to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. Man, that was just sort of like a straight up like a succession like a prestige, but it knocks, you know? But it was interpolating the sound obo from Apple loops that I used to make the Oscar roundup this year. Culture starts here.

Culture starts here. That's, that kind of reminded me of like it should be in a Guy Ritchie movie like the 2000s. and then like that sort of electro beat you should make a guy Richie's type music movie

I can be cool yeah what happened to him he did something a TV show right now I feel like he's had sort of a downgrade like I mean

he's making a TV show so he's done good he's done movies in the past couple years where I've been like oh guy Richie and I can't remember with that he was hot on the heels of like the Tantirio

Tantino sort of like knockoff guy and then he sort of chilled out a little bit into like, I'm going to do Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. Just like British stuff. And then he married Madonna. And he made a Madonna castaway type movie. Oh.

Remember? Am I wrong? La Isla Bonita? Yep. Yep. What? It's a name of a Madonna song. No, I think the movie was called cone-shaped bikini on the beach.

Yo! It called a.k.a. Don't hug me. What? Yow! Hey, don't pop that blowfish with those things, lady. Yow! That's the plot.

She hugs of blowfish and it pop. That's the plot, Jeff. Why don't they make movies like that anymore? And you're saying Guy Ritchie's making good movies. I don't know, Jeff. Okay, here's the booze news. It's baseball season, is it not? Oh, yeah, I can hear the crack of the bat.

Well, isn't this? Get your peanut. Headline out of L.A., fan sues Los Angeles Dodgers after She got hit with a buzz balls alcoholic drink during a game. Whoa. Plaintiffs set her trip to Disneyland with her children was disrupted due to her injury. Wait what? Yeah, wait.

This lady was out of Dodger game. Yeah. And then from an above section, somebody threw or dropped this buzz ball and it fell and it hit her. Now, look, not to side with the Dodgers. I don't give a fuck, but it was kind of, it was some of the wording in this article from the independent is funny where it was like, She felt immediate pain, bruising and swelling. Okay, that's not funny. She also lost normal use of her arm.

Okay, this is not funny at all. She got hit on the head? Her arm. She got hit in the arm by a buzz ball. Coming down pretty high, I guess. As a direct result of the incident, plaintiffs planned four-day family vacation to Los Angeles, and Disneyland was substantially disrupted and deprived of its intended enjoyment.

That's what made me. Okay. Was her intended enjoyment? Deprived. It was intended enjoyment. She's experienced fear, shock and emotional distress. Look, I don't mean the side against a plan. Well, you know, there's always the, you know, when you're like, oh, you got burned

my big Donald's coffee? I don't mean to do that, but there is just something funny about the way that lawyers have to say that someone experienced distress because their arm hurt. I would love to get hit in the arm with a buzzball. Yeah. In my open waiting palm. Yeah. The end of my arm.

The end of my arm. this this would never happen to me because you'd like that I would have caught it nabbed it especially when I'm up there when I bring my glove to the game I'm ready yeah yeah then the manager looks out he's like who was that who caught that you you boy come come down here boy you belong behind the plate try out for us boy um have you guys see my new fascination the fast guy on on my uh I just story oh yes there's this there's this he's like 11 I want to buy house no no no no no no no no no no no that guy's He's like a funny kid.

I'll just show you real quick. Is he like micro machine? He's great too. No, this guy, watch this fucking guy. Oh, yeah. Wow, he's fast. What's he doing? He's picking lighters off of a tabletop.

I've seen this guy before. He's, he also like will, he will like grab, he'll like grab something before his friend can grab it. Well, I explain what it is because it's kind of, it's like a weird, just of the audience is what we're talking about. Okay. His handle is code MTC speed. Yeah. And he's just a guy who's got a laptop next to him or he hits the space bar to like stop and start a big stopwatch.

And then he'll like do incredible feats of speed. I don't know. Yeah, he like he'll like have a lighter sitting there. And he, you know, taps the start button, grabs lighter, taps the stop button. And it'll be like 0.08 seconds. Yeah. And it's just like, I mean, he's like Quicksilver. Not to get back into X month.

But I also saw he did it with a weight on his arm one time and he did it incredibly fast. Then he takes the weight off and you can't even see him. Yeah. It's crazy. And then I've watched that and I've seen other guys. Like there's that's like an online community of like fast guys. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible.

This is what we should be using the algorithm for promoting freaks. Yeah, yeah. With strange talents and abilities. It reminds you of Quicksilver from the X-Men. That's what I'm saying. Quickman. Thanks, everybody, for a very successful X month over at the blowout X, hosted by me, Duts, Duts. Duss.

Folks, if you didn't listen to it, Patreon.com slash the sloppy boys, a whole month of Jeff presenting mutant movies. It's sort of mutant madness over there, folks. Check it out. It's just behind the paywall. Not mutant mayhem, which is a completely different month. Right, right, right. It's more of a Ninja Turrell month, which I'm sure has been whirling around in that head of yours. Oh, I'm sure that's in store.

There's going to be a lot of months coming up. That's a lot of months. I agree. Hey, Vol goes well, there's plenty of months ahead of us. Every year brings 12 new ones, baby. And we love them all the same. No way. All right.

What's the actual booze? You might not be able to buy buzz balls at Dodgers stadium much longer, which is sad because it's kind of fun if you're going to a baseball game, and the drink you buy is the shape of weight. It's a very ball. You can't stop. This is not a stadium problem where a Dodger, excuse me, a Dodger problem.

Were there nets supposed to be up? physics problem, you're saying. Anybody could throw anything in anybody. Yeah, because it's a baseball stadium. Think about it, you know. Geez. All right, well, that's it for boo's news. Wrap it up. Oh, wait, hold on.

I also wanted to say that there's a certain booze band with some tour dates coming up. Atlanta, center stage vinyl. We're going to be playing there on May 21st. Knoxville, open chord, May 22nd. Nashville, we're playing the Jortsfest at Eastside Bowl on May 23rd. That's the band on the road rocking concert. Dan, that's really good. Sort of a Tennessee twofer.

Yeah. Tennessee two step. You know what you do in Atlanta is learn the, the Ray Charles Georgia, Georgia. We have that kind of soul. We can pull it off somehow, something. Hey, you're the, you sing it. Yeah, I'll sing it.

I'll have to play the bass too. Boom, boom. I said to do. Boom, boom, boom. Bum bum bum. Okay, now can we wrap it up? Wrap it up. Miel and wrap it up.

Lock the gate! Are we doing this? Wait for it. Wait for it. How? What's up, everyone? You listen to the Milan Minute. Wait your fuck ass up.

Hey guys, it's me, Milan. Today isn't going to be the normal fun Milan minute like you're used to. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to use this time to call out something that's been concerning me and probably a lot of you. Tim has been getting into fights with old people. At first, I thought it was just an isolated incident. I call the guy an old bitch on Jeff's Street. But then it happened again.

You have a stop sign and she goes, I know, but you still have to look. The law is, no, I don't have to look, you know. I was concerned not only for the elderly who was concerned not only for the elderly who were vulnerable to Tim's attacks, but also for my friend Tim. And a little bit for Mike and Jeff, who seemed to be quietly enabling this bad behavior. I would have yanked that old bat right out of that car. Look, I'm a fat pussy. She's an old bitch.

I don't know what it is. And I just knew that I had to speak up. This issue just hits close to home. You see, I have a grandmother and a grandfather who are still alive. or, as I like to call them, beep-boop and rebarb. I guess we all have our funny names for our grandparents. I'm just asking Tim to take a look at himself and reflect on his behavior. It might mean going to extensive anger management.

It might mean a few days in the rubber room. But I'll let Tim's therapist Heather decide what's best. So to raise awareness about elderly abuse, I'm starting a movement called End Elderly Extremely. If you want to support, you can start by posting a gray square on your social media this Sunday with the hashtag oldies but goodies. You can also help by calling out bad behavior like Tim's when you see it in real life. Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening, guys.

And here's a slightly more serious booze newsender for you. How old are you? I'm 70. What does it feel like to go through life and physically and emotionally get older? Here's what it feels like. You look the same looking out, but people see you entirely differently. And in today's world, you know what? They look at you like you're worthless.

The Milan Minute. Cool, man, hamburger. Okay, the drink of the day. This is it great because I'm so thirsty. Oh yeah. It's not like it's a hot-ass day. My stomach is just fine. I'm not getting heat stroke and almost fainting. I am appropriately hung over to make this drink necessary.

Either you guys hit the bottle last night. I hit the hay. Yep. A little too hard. A little too hard. And me, I hit the pipe. So we all hit something. And me, I hit it and quit it. The hay. That is.

The hay, the hay. Now, we mentioned X month. And that brings us right into the drink of the day because I much like a lady who experienced distress after her Disneyland trip was canceled after she got hit in the arm by a buzz ball. I recently went through a sort of rough time in my life where I had a whole month of watching X-Men movies. Right. I remember this. And I was such a good sport and I had such an open mind. But now that I'm on the other end of X month is a little bit of tim time, a little bit of payback time. So this week.

That's what I meant to say We are doing a drink that I've chosen That I pitched you guys And you're both a little bit gross out Yeah this Jeff and I kind of put You suggested this a few weeks ago We've been kicking it away It's funny because like it was one of those texts

Where you asked us straight up like Are you guys you know opposed to eating raw egg? Yeah right Like you know from a moral or a health standpoint Like I don't want to have you guys do something that like you would not do Is there a moral? What's the moral dilemma?

No, no, just like personally, personal choice. Yeah, well, I'm thinking about when I'm, if I'm pressuring someone to do something, I want to know whether it's like, if they're like, that's not something I want to do with my life, then I'll drop it. But if it just sort of like, yuck, I don't want to do that this week or whatever, then I want to know if I can kind of put it in the back, put it in the back of my head. And Mike and I both gave pretty tepid responses to this idea. He says something like that.

And then I keep getting these texts, hey, are you going to pay back that $250? bucks. That's something I don't want to do. I don't want to keep bringing it up. He won't back off. You need to make it clear to me. It's not that I'm lacking in the money. It's not they don't have the money.

It's that I don't want to. It's both for me. Okay. Well, the drink I have selected also in the spirit of us, this was suggested by a slophead. I can't remember because I've searched our DMs and our emails and I simply can't find

who it was. But as a booze, As a booze band on the road, I think it's relevant. Hangover cures are something I'm always interested in. Somebody recommended this and I said, it's sort of the uncurable disease. This is pervasive disease that seems to haunt the three of us. No one's talking about this.

It's crazy. It's like an epidemic. The amber moon you've had. No. The amber moon you've heard. I guess. I feel like you've heard of our, it's precursor. Jeff, you had mentioned the prairie oyster ones.

Yes. So prairie oyster is a term that gets thrown around as the buffalo testicles in Funny Farm. Rocky Mountain Oyster. Rocky Mountain Oyster. Oh, wait, no. Funny Farm is Vermont. So they wouldn't say Rocky Mountain. You're right.

Maybe it is. I think Prairie Oyster is like a term for a testicular thing. But Chevy Chase Romp, 80s romp, funny farm. Yeah, right. But then also, oh, God, I feel like it's in another movie. I also saw it in the DMs. Like, do a prairie oyster. Oh, okay.

But this is, Prairie Oyster doesn't have alcohol in it. Is that true? Correct. And that's why I wanted to try its successor, the Amber Moon. But the Prairie Oyster is like from the 1800s. It's funny how it was fun to read up on these because there is, you know, like lots times in drink, there's like a drink history. We'll tell you about the drink and who the bartender is or whatever.

And then like it'll mention like in pop culture. One time was mentioned here or there. These, I feel like this is like mainly pop culture. The idea of being hung over and being like, you have to eat an egg, I'm sure there's some weird guys that didn't do it. And I'm sure they're very old. But doesn't it feel like it's mainly something that's like in movies and stuff? Yeah. In my world, I don't know anyone that doesn't.

Ever heard anyone actually drinking an egg outside of a cocktail. Well, in the 80s, there used to be a little bit of like a sort of like a workout healthy guy thing where they would like workout guys would eat. Right. Would eat a raw. Well, like in family matters, there was a little bit of a workout. episode where who's the kid? Carl,

Winslow. Eddie? Eddie Winslow was like working out trying to make the basketball team and Carl was training him and Carl cracked a raw egg into orange juice and that made a big impression on me.

Oh my God. That's nasty. Now, I put eggs as often as I can in a whiskey sour. Oh, yes. And that's just egg white. It's not that big of a leap to do the whole,

whole ass egg. But I guess from like a, I'm fine with it from like a health standpoint or whatever. But shaking up a little egg white seems like nothing. Once you get all that whole ass yoke sitting in it, it's just a yolk sitting in whiskey. Tim, hit me with the rest. Yes, yes, yes.

Well, first let me tell you that some of these pop culture references. The Prairie oyster comes from like 1800s. It's like it was entered into the like the Oxford dictionary in the late 1800 seems to be first referenced in like cookbooks in New England in the late 1800s. Yeah. But listen to the pop culture references.

It's the prairie oyster, which is just a, the yolk, egg yolk with fucking Worcestershire, vinegar and ground pepper, maybe some hot sauce. That or yeah. Oh, that's the prairie oyster.

That sounds pretty good. That's funny that you think that's very because I, I feel like I want the alcohol so that the egg disappears. Yes. And like kills whatever, you know, avian flu I'm going to be getting from the egg. Salmon. Oh, yeah, do we have to worry?

No. No, because of the whiskey, right? Is that real? I pray. The thing you just mentioned is that, uh, that sounds like like minuet sauce. Maybe just because I'm thinking of oysters. That was called diced onion, kind of a sweet. Yeah, it's like red, red wine vinegary stuff.

Yeah. I love that stuff. I do like this stuff. Um, there's these stories, uh, the British writer PG-W. Wode House had the Jeeves series. I'm, yeah, I'm very familiar with some of his work. Jeeves, uh, served prairie oysters. Jeeves series.

Pops in button goodbye to Berlin. Pops up on jumping like this. 1998 anime cowboy Biba. Hey! That's probably where I saw it. Um, now I don't know whether there's booze in and not, but I mainly think of, uh, back to the future, back to the future part three when they have to wake up doc and he, they make some sort of.

Why don't they just put an alarm clock next to it? his head. Yeah. I think there are some cuts of the film where he does that. And then he wakes up and goes, and he breathes fire. Anyway, so that's just the prairie oyster. And then some people say like, oh, it's optional to add whiskey or vodka to that, but most people don't. It did come up in Back to the Future three. Yeah. So, so that's, dark is drunk because he's depressed because of Clara. Because he had like one shot or something, right? Or like, he doesn't he take a shot and just fall back? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a dark. He's like never had it. It's like he's been drinking all day, but That was his only shot.

It's also like, like, you know, cowboy whiskey too is probably. Cabo. Fire. Okay. So now in the lineage from prairie oyster, which doesn't always have booze and rarely has booze, to the amber moon,

which is what we're having today, are you familiar with the queen of the mystery, Agatha Christie? Yes. Yes. Are you familiar with her 1934? novel murder on the Orient Express. Yes.

And are you familiar with the 1974 film of the same name? Yes. Yes. Yes. You know this little moustachio detective, Hercule Perot? Yeah. Yes. He's in this movie. And I guess she's got a whole series of the shit.

But my mom used to watch her Cule Perot mysteries on the PBS. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, there's a very famous scene kind of inciting incident in the film version of murder on the Orn Express from 1974. This is where the Amber Moon is best known from. The butler brought

his employer, his typical breakfast, which is an Amber Moon. And in this case, the boss does not wake up and turns out he's dead and we go into a whole train murder mystery. A who done it.

Type of a situation. Yes, yes. But the breakfast that he is bringing to his boss is the Amber Moon and very Churchill-esque we did the Churchill's breakfast and he sort of drank early in the morning too right while still in bit you're also going to see this type of thing in the TV show shameless comrade X Adams family values McCabe and Mrs. Miller and Russian doll and

outlander Adam's family values another one that I think a slophead alerted us to now they're just having fun they don't want to hurt anybody Here is the recipe We'll tell you about what that is later We've done it before

Yeah, it was just funny Here is the recipe from Wikipedia.com Three fluid ounces Whiskey or vodka I say we go whiskey Whoa Three, that's a lot

Yeah Oh I thought this was gonna be a shot type of thing No you sit with it Yeah, you're sipping on that egg Uh-oh I didn't want to sip on that ice. One raw egg and Tabasco sauce to taste. Okay.

And the drinkware is going to be a high bog glass. So that's kind of interesting. Wait, wait, what? Like a Collins? Yeah. Okay. Great. Served straight up chilled without ice.

Oh. Well, yeah. Here's the preparation. Crack an egg into a tall glass, leaving the yolk unbroken. Pour in whiskey or vodka. Let's do whiskey. Add Tabasco to taste. or serve on the side.

Jesus. I feel like I wanted something else and like the prairie oyster. I like the vinegar and I like to be. It was to sure. But that could be around too, Mike. God, that's the thing. I don't want to do these.

Here's the main reason we're doing booze is that it's a booze. It's a cocktail show. Folks, follow us after this episode. Go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys because on this week's blowout, we're doing a breathalyzer episode where we're going to be tried,

we're each going to see if we can, much like splitting the G. We're going to see if we can blow a 0.08, the legal limit based on just nothing but our senses alone. And it's not about getting as drunk as you can. It's about knowing your body. Yes, and hitting that 0.08.

So I wanted the boozy version. So that's where I have no boozy drink. That's also kind of a blowout that Jeff and I've been like, maybe not. So this is really revenge week. bought the breathalized. I know, I know,

but you did, Jeff, you brought this. You did X month and look, I loved it. Now he's got revenge week. Now there's hell to pay? And I'm,

I'm having revenge, much like Magneto on Kevin Bacon. My Lord, he's striker-esque. All right, geez. Well, folks,

aren't you happy we know those characters? Yeah, I am. I was really happy, Tim, you said something like, you knew some like, you were talking about the bone claws and like,

yeah, because he didn't get his medal until the 80s or, you made, some point that I was like, this is good. Yeah. Tim is learning. He's paying attention. I can make my references now.

I did, I would have never guessed before watch those movies that Wolverine's metal, the element, like the metal element of Wolverine was not native to him. That it was grafted on by Stryker, but. Right, that's not his mutant power, which is interesting. Right, but he still did have a mutant power.

He did. And I don't mean just that he heals fast. I mean that he's got bone gloves. That was not to mention the sheer ferocity of the man. Well, yeah, that's kind of. We're getting way off. All right, folks. Enough. X month is over, sadly.

Many of us lament this. But it's time for us to make the drink and we'll be right back after these messages. And we're back. Amber moons in hand. This is gross than I thought, you know, I talk a lot on the pot about how I like nasty foods and stuff. But I didn't really actually think about this, you know, like looking at it, it's cloudy. There's like tendrils. It looks like you know what.

It looks like the glass from the beginning of American pie. The stiffler beer. Yes. Yes, it does. It's warm. That sucks. I didn't think about the pictures I saw online, it looked like just the yolk floating. It looked like a beautiful sunset.

It was like an artist's like rendered. It looks like an amber sunset. We're recording in the middle of a hot day and just drinking room temperature. or whiskey would be hard for me anyway, but this is nasty. The saving grace is the Tabasca, which I love, but I don't want to put too much and hide the flavor. I do think I should suffer through the taste of a chicken embryo, not embryo, chicken. Um, period.

Egg. Yeah. Let's go with egg. Let's go with egg. Uh, now, now, the thing that I just kept thinking this is a shot and I was thinking like, yeah, I'll get that whole yolk down in one gulp, but. this is obviously we put three this is so it's a sizable amount of like liquid

you couldn't shoot it if you wanted to you had to I would prefer you just had to show him X-Men movies for some reason um okay all right okay well so then it's weird though because we're gonna start sipping

but then we won't even like hit the egg I kind of think I'm gonna take mine as a huge shot but isn't that no this is this is your it's a chug this is your You think that's easy? Yeah, you're chicken. That's chicken.

This is your weird fun house. You got to do it. I know, but I'm saying I'm going to go put it down in a gross way. You think that that's easier? Yes. Well, I mean,

I want to do that. Let's all do that. Okay. But I do think I want to watch each of our experience. I think we should go kind of one other time. Wait, let's take a photo and then we'll do video as well. Okay.

I'm going to apply my Tabasco. So I'm going to do, let's see. I'm just going to do like one big dash cup, blue shirt. No, three, three, four drips. I was expecting, yeah, that any time you do I get a store is like, okay, I'm going in.

First sniffed smells just like whiskey. Are you swayed? No, it smells like a nice whiskey. Yeah, it doesn't smell like an egg, which is good. Okay, this is an amber moon, whiskey, Tabasco, raw egg. We use bullet rye. first sip just whiskey

second sip whiskey with a little giz whiskey and now hey bottoms up oh oh thick whiskey damn

I uh I'm gonna throw up Jeff well what if I do you don't have to chug it the way I chuck I'm not going to whatever your own signature style is Hold on.

You won't refug. I don't know. I don't know that he won't. It's a thick squirmy whiskey. Now, while Mike is getting prepared to do his, I'm going to explain the pseudoscience behind this is allegedly, raw egg contains cysteine. And I noticed that is a, it's like an amino acid.

Of a cysteine chapel. Yes. Any, uh. Plenty at Tabasco for the hand man. Plano. Tadipasco sauce for Mike. Anytime I've ever. bought like a hangover cure type of pill like cheers or one of those.

If you look at the ingredients, cysting like CY Sistine, uh, T, E, is always like one of the like compounds or whatever that's in there. And I guess what it's supposed to do is, uh,

it helps break down acetaldehyde faster. And that's like the, the bad chemical that gets in your veins from alcohol. So this, I think that that would make more sense less as a, hangover cure, that would be more like processing as you're drinking. So this is very much just kind of doing a hair of the dog type thing for us. I don't think the egg is really actually medicinal, you know? Sure. I just took a big sniffer and it's it's pungent. Okay. I'm just going to

take a few sips. Sip one? That's a big sip. Okay. Whiskey? It's just whiskey tasty. Tasting. It's just whiskey tasty. It's just whiskey tasty. I'm really, I'm having more trouble with, like, the Tabasco and whiskey. Really? Well, I just feel like it's like tearing my throat up and stomach lining rather than... Yeah, especially because it's warm.

An egg onions right down to the air. Yeah, it's a warm egg. Looking at this jizz cup and it's warm. You backed yourself into a corner where now it's just a cup of yoke left. Ooh. Well, hold on. Hold on. Everybody just stop.

I don't need to do this right away. Of course not. It's a super. I'll go. I just think I need a little break. Yeah, yeah, I get it. He just needs a little break. I need a break.

I need an ice cube and a whole different mix of cocktails. It looks like your egg white is getting cooked. Yeah, it is. I'm disappointed. It's the amount of white. It's not the yolk at all. It's the webbing throughout the top of the drink that is. Jizzy, jizzy webbing.

I would not mind just the yolk floating in my drink. Oh, that's a solid, you know, seven drops of Tabasco for the J man. I want to try and do the Tim method. That's a very good method. You want to finish this drink now. Well, yeah, because I want to do like sip, you know, process it, sip, and then just go for that yolk. All right.

Oh, my God. Here we go. Yeah. Sipping. He likes it. That's whiskey and that's fine. And that's fine. Hey, that's whiskey and that's fine.

And that's just going to have to be fine. You're right. As far as just it being like straight whiskey and Tabasco, even that's a little harsh. Yeah, it's tough. I need that cool, cool, cool egg. Yes, that cool room temperature. To balance everything out, you know, that. A milky round egg.

Oh, God. I don't even like looking at it. I know, don't think about it. Don't look at it. Okay, another big sip. And then we'll do the goal. Bing? That was a small sip.

I tried to get some webbing on that one, though, and I did. I did. I did. Do you feel the texture in your mouth? Yeah, on that one I did. I felt a little webby sort of nebulous goodness floating around the lips, tongue, teeth, and gums. And here we go. Yes, the mouth.

Look at that. Oh, I wish I could just have the yolk. But he's got his... Think of it. That motive... Oh, God. There really is a barrier of jizz on top. It is.

I mean, geez, it's a cool-looking separation. I like the aesthetic of it. It's neat. There's a way to do this where you toss the yoke back and forth between the shells and you're just dealing with the yolk in a whiskey glass. And that would be a cool-looking little thing. I bet you that's what we saw that like...

Yes, I bet you're right. It's weird. This image I'm looking at online looks like that, but it's what I want. But the recipe does say raw egg, so they're just lying.

But I would like a, like a sun floating in whiskey. Maybe the method, though, you know, just in the recipe it says raw egg, but in the method, it's... Go ahead.

Did you have your stalling? Yeah, I am. I was really hoping you guys would just keep talking. Nope, I'm reading the method. It's the whole... Fuck. Fuck. So I'm meant to chug this now

He's meant to chug this Alright, here we go He's more mean to take a picture He missed it Oh, he missed the yoke Oh, were you chugned over here But now I have what I want I got the I see, I see, I see

It was an accident You got through the barrier layer Now you just have yolk in whiskey And it looks great Ready? Yeah Wow yoke down empty glass

Oh you really kind of feel that yoke Yeah Hand on chest shivering Yikes How do you feel Um I wish we never started a podcast

You just want to take back the last five years Don't you? Geez Oh Mike just took his to the dome And it's all in his mouth That's even worse That's even worse Video him

Oh, he got it. Okay, he swallowed it. I thought that you were going to be spitting that back into the water. What I did there, I took it quick while you guys were distracted. But the yolk didn't go right down. So it was in my mouth and I like hewed it. Oh, no. All right.

Okay. I feel like Rocky Balbollah. Yeah, this is a little Rocky-esque. Rocky. Okay. Okay. Let's think about this. Let's talk about.

Everybody just quiet. Everyone just relax. The three of us agree that everybody needs to relax. Now, that was gross. But it didn't taste gross. It was gross. The whiskey was grosser. It was texture that was not good.

It was like a silky whiskey. You need equal grossness to combat it. You know what I mean? You couldn't put an egg in something that didn't have a straw. long taste. You got to have like, you got to put it in some strong alcohol also to kill whatever salmonella avian flu we got to deal with.

Right, right, right. And statistically, one of us is going to the hospital. I ain't saying which one. Now imagine if you had done the Jeff trick, pass the egg back and forth, isolate just the yolk. Now imagine if the whiskey and Tabasco had been shaken on ice and it was nicely chilled.

Yeah, yeah, like a frass. You know, because cold inhibits the taste buds. That's really good. You know, it'll be a good drink. You know, we've been talking about, we're sort of building this idea of the, the berry pie drink. Oh, right. You are, but you keep including me and Jeff.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sort of heading up this thing, but I'm going to work on it in the lab, and I'll bring it to you guys and we'll talk about, let me say this too. I am fucking drug. Yeah. I just felt it like the minute, minute you did that, I felt I got schmack. I had a breakfast taco for breakfast.

and a salad for lunch. Now, was it a leftover taco from home state where you had lunch yesterday? It was. It was a ground beef. You know what I had for breakfast? What? Eggs.

Oh, nastified. So to get back, what was the hell was I talking? It was definitely about a taco. You're drunk and you had a... Drunk being drunk. No, wait. I was going to...

Yoke. Just a yoke. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Okay, here's the thing. Normally on the show we do round two, and sometimes if the drink is fucking crazy, I'll just do like a top off or, you know, I'll make some adjustment.

I really don't want to do this again. In fact, it would require us to walk to a corner store and get more whiskey. We're out of whiskey. However, you are allowed to use vodka. However, I do, I am so enamored with the idea of a clean yoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sitting at the bottom of a chilled, no ice, whiskey,

and not even a highball. I don't even need all that glass. I want a rock's glass like I saw in that one picture. The only picture I ever saw where it didn't look gross. Yes. That's what I want to drink. How about this? What about, you got any rum?

A rum would, like, I like the taste of rum on its own and an egg. What about like a rum, an egg and something sort of. Butterscotchy. Eggs, an egg yolk kind of feels buttercotchy to me already. Put a little Werther's original in there. I remember what I was going to say. So go ahead, Tim, and I'm going to remember. Butterscotch schnaps from the Bill Bonds, that would be good.

I was just going to say, Jeff, two yokes like the moons of tattooing. The moons of tattooing, the moons of tattooing. The moons of tattooing. And I heard moons of tattooing. I was like, I knew it was midway through protests. It's actually kind of cool. That's pretty good. We could do that for May the 4th.

We go, it's the two moons special. On May 4th, we're having the two moon special. You guys doing the two moons? Two, well, it is May 4th. Okay, so what I was going to say, I'm coming up with this berry pie drink, a frappy, you know, an egg kind of frapped up with a, this berry idea could be kind of good. Almost feel like an egg tart or something. Like a little pinch you would typically put in a whiskey sour, some little egg white. Like white, white, white, white.

But kind of like, Frap it. Yeah. So give it a, yeah. Frapp it. Frapp it. Yeah. That's pretty good.

We should also do a, uh, egg white. This would be a good blow up maybe. An egg white alternative shootout. Because I've heard Fee brothers has a fee foam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've heard, I've heard some people use chickpea juice. Or for the juice from the can. Yes. A lot of chickpeas on that salad I was just mentioned. Yeah, you mentioned it was nice. It was nice. No, we had a beautiful word.

Niswis. Niswis. Garbonso bean, what a beautiful word. Why is everyone walking around saying chickpea? Chickpee. No, but... Is this some woke bullshit? Everyone's saying chickpe?

Garvanzio. Garvanziano. He's a garbanzo. No, no, no. Guys, guys, yes. I'm talking about what are these things that we do for people who don't want egg white that give you that viscosity, that velvety viscosity in your whiskey sours? The fee foam works great.

You'll see at a lot of dive bars. They're not going to have eggs. And in fact, almost no place has eggs. I can't get around the past like eating, like something called foam. I don't want to, I don't want that in my mouth. Foam I don't like. You know what I mean? Like just the idea of a bathtub.

Well, yeah, but I'm not drinking that water. What sometimes they do? I get a little excited in there. But just like hearing foam. One time I was on vacation in Vermont when I was a kid. and we were by this creek and it was kind of foamy and I was like, Dad, what's the foam? And he said,

fish piss. Do you think he was lying? He was lying because I've checked into that myself. No, we had a creek behind my house and yeah, that foamy stuff would come up. I always thought it was piss, but I think it's just toxins and stuff. So we're flapping up. Yeah, yeah, that's nasty. It's like dead skin or dead.

It's probably piss of some sort. Yeah, oh, man. Waste, toxic. Maybe my dad had just pissed in the creek and it was like, yeah, yeah, it was a fish. Yeah, a fish A fish took a big hot, frothy yellow pit Yeah, the French-Canadian fish The French-Canadian flounder

This was Vermis, so it could have been fish pH Oh man Love that man Susie Greenberg Woohoo On that Wiihoo Mike just put his foot in the air and pulled a sock right up to his knee And then slid right back in the nice sock

Look at this, it's got a cool embroidery on it take It's pretty good It's a pretty heavy sock for hot day. I know. Heavy sock for hot. Here's, let me, I'll let the audience in on something.

I'm dressing for the movie theater. Jeff and I are going to see, Nirvana, the band, the movie. About time. About time. I've already seen the film.

I've had too many experiences where I'm in, you know, I've seen the film. I got to go into a theater because it's so hot. And it's too cold. Okay. Now, a lot of talk,

Mike, a lot of talking about your, your wardrobe, the length of your socks and everything. I got a question about your haircut. I'm also sitting in, You're ugly on me. Broiling you.

You got a very good haircut. I want to ask you, is this a haircut expensive? Because I'm looking at the back and sides. It looks like a layered scissor cut, not just a barber. You get this out here? No, this is in my neighborhood in New York. It's a New York cut. It is New York cut.

I'm wearing my hair short these days. I'm enjoying not having. I feel like when I have longer hair, I have to sort of style it a little more. Sure. And I like having the shirt. and just going, pop it up. Sure, but you didn't say, when I go to a barbershop, they say, okay, we'll put a four on here. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, this is a, I'm not an expensive, probably too expensive. I probably should. I'm dropping 60 bucks plus tip. Uh, yeah, Tim, you got to go to my. No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm 40 plus tip. This is, uh, that's a good place. And he's scissor cutting.

Is he doing the thing where he's combing, but sniffing and combing and combing and saying. Yeah, I'm going to, can I, I have a serious recommendation for you, opions. Yeah, right by my house and it's Greek, right? Yes, I'm going to introduce you to Petros. It's like middle earth. Middle earth looking in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get my haircut by a guy named Petros. Oh, my God. Petros and money. On the Dodgers sports broadcast. This is like a $30 haircut, but here's the thing. It's a good haircut in that I leave every haircut going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You might as well be paying $30 for that haircut as opposed to.

Yeah, yeah. You know, if I got a, you know, $200 haircut, I'd still walkin up going, right, right. I don't actually really. That's the thing. I go to, I go to fellow barber formerly, uh, Rudy's right across the street is the super cuts for half the price.

And I'm like, what am I doing? If I, if I, it takes me two weeks before I like how I look anyway. Yeah. May as well, uh, go to the cheapy. I, uh,

I feel stupid now saying that number that I'm paying that much money. What do you? That's low. What do you, 40's low. 40's low. Oh, okay. Okay.

I put, I pay 60 at a run of the mill barbers. I see, I see what you're saying. I lost the track. Expensive haircuts. I would say $100 is where you get into like, yeah. Like, I mean, like women are spending $300. Oh, everyone is just throwing her device. Insane. I know, I know. She's like, it's 200 just for a basic haircut.

It's like, I mean, I used to go, remember, remember when we were brand new to L.A. I used to go to that old Russian lady in the valley who I got out of crush on this old Russian lady. We had a good thing gone. I didn't know that was a romantic thing. It was. But this was where I learned that my, misshapen face. When I walked in, she was like, what's wrong?

And I was like, what happened? And I was like, what happened? And I was like, what do you mean? And she's like, your jaw is all sticking out on one side. And I looked at the mirror and I was like, uh, well, nothing happened lady. She thought you got stung by a bee or something. Looking like a Lego head. I'm going to pray for him.

That was 2005 and that was a $9 haircut. That's the best. Now it's 2026. I'm paying $60. Yeah. And like service has just gone up like it's crazy. service fees and things. But I do, the reason I pay this price is because I really like the guy and I go back to the

same person every time and he does a very good job. And he takes, unless they learn your follicles. He takes, yes, he learns the follicles. We talk, we talk it through. You come to an agreement. That's good. Come to agreement.

He does this really fun. You show him pictures? A cup towel thing. I love the hot towel thing. Oh, I see, I don't get hot towel at opiants. Pictures, yes. I show him pictures. I get that a fellow.

Oh, okay. I show him pictures of like my last hair. that he did for me. I show my guy pictures of you. And he just can't get it right. Mike, how long before the taping of your stand-up special did you risk a haircut? Very risky. Very risky.

Two weeks. And I think I didn't get back to where I was right. Like I had a good look at two weeks leading in a day. Should have been three weeks. Oh, no. Oh, you like the haircut right out the gate. No, I liked my hair two weeks before the, like I was getting a little too long. So I was just trying to maintain, but he went a little short.

Not his fault. Love them. They can do that in post. They can do them post. And it was just like a little, yes, I probably should have done two and a half weeks, maybe. God. Three weeks. Like this is how people think about like the Emmys and the Oscars and stuff.

Yeah. Especially like women, if you're doing a crazy hair thing or I know if you're, if you're coloring your hair, there's kind of like a sweet spot where you want to hit it. because it doesn't really last very long. But man, yeah, even for an indie comedy question, you got to think about it. I was thinking about it. I was like a month ahead of time, I was going to the gym more.

I was like, I want to lose a little, you know, lose a little chin weight. You're looking trim these days. Little chin music. Well, and now I've, luckily, I'm trying to stick to those habits. That's hard. That's hard.

I very stupidly, before season two of the birthday boys, Becca gave us all haircuts on the makeup lady and she was very selectively sniffing just to sort of make sure that I had no like weird strays so that I would have like you know

continuity flyways and then but she was cut my hair for like an hour and then I couldn't tell the difference and then I went to super cuts and got it all lopped off but it looks so stupid and then I was taping

a television show and then some of the work maybe season two the birthday boys is the proudest I've ever been of a piece of work I don't like the way look at it, which is fine. I don't care. I feel like it's funny. Yeah, I feel like I got

talked into like having a little bit of a longer hair and I was kind of doing like a beeper swoop for like the, for some of the neutral looks. The longer your hair is the more versatility of character character. You want to have that. But your neutral, if you don't like your neutral look, that sucks because that's you. And see, my look is sort of flyaways. Normally, I want flyways. Yeah. I want to look like a fucking surfy punker man. I don't look like a damn Worthington out there. There's a funny thing about being on TV. was good, but in general, whenever I've been on TV, they pat my hair down. They're so worried that, like, a stray hair, like, as if that's bad for television,

but it's like, no, you're a hair person and you're watching the monitor looking for that. Instead, you've patted me down into a dork-ass version of myself. Don't put me in your little box, bitch. I think the difference is if you're, uh, are you talking about like being on birthday boys? No, I'm thinking about like any time I like guessed it on bang bang or something. and I was patted down into a dork mode. I think that's because... I'm a bad boy with your messy hair.

You can't put a bad boy in dork mode, man. This is my guess. This is just my guess. I'm guessing if somebody's, you know, higher on the call sheet and they're the star, that's like, let's get this person's hair really good. The rock. If it's a less... If it's a less...

Yeah, it's pubic hair. So I put a lot of working to me, then you and Jeff are going through and they're like, yeah, yeah, whatever. You're right, but it's like, just background people are like, Short stuff's like, get out of here. Yeah, yeah. Hey, can I flex you really quick? I don't know.

You know who is number one on the call sheet? Who? On birthday boys. Bob. J.D. D. J.D. Oh, because of, uh.

Because we did it alphabetically. Alphabetically. Whoever did it. Number one on the call sheet. Didn't do the most acting. Didn't do the most writing. Number one on the call sheet. Number one in our hearts.

Trump. And then, hey, that JD I was talking about. J.D. I was talking about. J.D. Vance. Oh. Here's what I'd like to do for the next one. I'm going to do the egg, the yellow, egg yellow. Yep.

The yellow shuffle. Yellow yolk. And I'm just going to do a shot's worth of rum. And then I'm going to figure out what else I'm going to add to it to make it. I'm going to do cold vodka, Tabasco and a yolk. You guys, okay, I seriously think it's worth stopping for two seconds and running and getting whiskey versus either of those. I don't. I don't.

I don't. I don't because I think this is such a strange drink. I'm probably not going to have this again. So I want to see if I can like... Well, you're definitely not going to have it again. Do something else with it than to see if I can maybe... And for me, I like the vodka idea because I'm, you know, when I'm having a martini, I get put all kinds of savory shit in there.

So it's not so weird to have an egg in my vodka. Oh, God. Okay, let's see what I got here. And folks, we'll be right back after this for round two of the Amber Moon. Back round two of the Amber Moon What did you each do? I'm gonna do mine first because this is a shot

and I gotta get it out of here. What is it? It is an egg yolk rum, Gosling's rum, an ounce of rum and a dash of banana liqueur.

Oh. Oh boy. To the dome. There he goes. Wow. Delicious. That was fantastic. It was a,

the banana that did it? Yeah, but all I tasted was the banana and rum, and then it just gave it a little more like, it's played a banana waffle. It's clearing out the whites is. Yeah, yeah, clearing out the whites is the. Because I think, I think the problem, I don't taste any of the egg in any of these.

So I think the problem with the whites is just like, it's just too much of that bad feeling. It's textural. Yeah, and, uh, and with just the yolk, it could be the yolk or the white. It's textual and let's be honest, mental. Yeah, for sure. You're seeing all that goo, it looks like.

shit. And now with that, you know, I'm pretty, uh, for me, I shook up three ounces of Jack Daniels on ice. Put it in here.

Did the tossy backy forthy, just a yoke. And it looks sort of like the what we hope the drink would look like. I mean, it's a bit cloudy. It doesn't look quite as like. Because of the shake it got cloudy? I busted my yoke.

Did you? I can't tell. Um, I, I sort of, I sort of clipped the yolk and now it was like, it was leaking. And now I'm sure it's just sort of like, uh,

it's a bit puny. I hate when you make like a hard-boiled egg and one cracks and it gets that weird like ooze out of it that then hardened. Sad. Oh, okay. So I don't want to shoot mine. I kind of want to like sip and enjoy for a minute. Well, have a sip and let us know. Well, okay.

Here's my sip. Do what you got to do, man. Yeah, it's cold Jack Daniels with a hint of egg. Any hint of Tabasco? Yes. Oh, glad I am. Okay. I'm the only guy who still has an egg white in play.

but it's because I switch to vodka. I shook my vodka and Tabasco on ice, strained it into my glass, put the whole egg and look at disgusting, milky, milky, disgusting. Let's have a sip. You might say that drink is materialistic. Now, I know there's an egg in there,

so my brain is telling me it's gross, but this is not far off from like a martini. I'd have a cold, cold vodka with some tobacco. It tastes okay. Yeah, but it's a martini with, like some webbing in it. Webbing, yeah.

But I will say the thing about the webbing, it's not as bad with the cold vodka. Cold helps a lot. It's an interesting thing with this egg stuff because you don't really taste the egg. And so then it's like, then why is it even there? It just makes it kind of an interesting.

Well, you get your protein. You get the cysteine. But it's like a change. It becomes like a challenge shot. Like a, you know what I mean? Well,

but the cystine. I got to be honest with that kind of, I didn't get all that shit. I'm a little drunk. It kind of fell out. So you're just slow sipping over there, huh? 16. I mean, yeah, I'm going to try to get down to, I'm going to finish it here in segment three.

Now, anybody have anything to say? No, man, I can't think of anything. You're wrapping your brain? I had too many. Michael, I noticed when you were tinkering over in the kitchen here at JD's place. Yeah, yeah. You had the DeSarono out. Did that make it in the drink?

No, I didn't. I was like, you know what? Let me just try getting a little weird with the. rum and rum banana banana Decerono I just would have been I know I knew I would have liked it because I like everything

Well well you're sort of doing like a banana meringue Yeah yeah yeah yeah is what I was talking about With the froth for the Barry pie brick Berry pie Ooh watch out Well what are you guys looking forward to in life Um wisdom

Attaining more wisdom I want to be like a wise old oak tree Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? Like you want to be like... People coming up to me asking me shit. I got all the right answers, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be like Picasso. That's the old guy I want to be. And you know what, draw things? The noses are big. My eyes are off that. Hey, I was, I drew the other day. My note, my drawing book was out.

And I was like, okay, Mike. We talked about it. Here we go. Okay, Mike. Okay, Mike. And you know what it was? I took the pressure off of, no one's going to see this.

It doesn't matter. until my gallery opening next week. Just get the hands moving, Mike. Any designs we could monetize? Oh, that's what I've been working on. Something I could turn up your profit. I used to draw like all the time. You asked me the other day, you're like,

do you ever draw? I was a drawing kid. It was my thing. It's the phones. The phones have pulled us away from everything. It was my defining characteristic. Even when we first moved to L.A., I was drawing.

I was projecting those. drawings onto canvases. I was painting him thinking, hey, I don't know, street arts happening out here. Maybe I'll be a street art guy. But no, the phones, I don't, I haven't put pencil to paper in a decade. A damn shame. I feel like every day I've been constant like turmoil getting off my phone. It sucks. I hate it. I remember when, uh, we, we did the, uh, when, when we did the, the great set of sketches, restless nights, Timmy. Uh, birthday boys? Yeah, talk. gonna shit on, you know, the internet. Oh, shit.

Why can't I think of riskless nights? You're in bed with Jenny Pearson, your husband and wife, you can't sleep because of like, I may not watch the, what are we going to do a rewatch? I haven't watched the show. You know, I haven't watched this since we made it. Yeah, for sure. There's stuff that I don't fucking remember. I mean, I have, but like, you know, you go like six, seven years without watching it.

You watch it. But that sketch, I'm tossing and turning and she's what she says like, what's wrong? And then what's the silly thing? And you're like, it's my old coworker. You know what we should do? Oh, because it's about a Facebook update. That's funny. That's vintage digital takes.

Let's rent a theater in L.A. And do a slot, uh, sorry, birthday boys season one and two, watch through marathon. Bingeathon? Yeah, it would be, what, 10 hours? Is this something we do for us and our friends or is this a money making venture? Money making venture. I like that. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll give an intro. You know, when I came up with the idea for a restless night. Wait, I brought up restless nights for a damn good reason. When that first came out, it was, we were in the writer's room, I want to say 2012, 2013. And all these articles were coming out that was just like people are spending a little too much time with their phones these days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a new idea.

And I remember, like, best time of my life, having a TV show with my best friends, I would read that shit and be like, who on earth is looking at their. phone all day. Like, like what fucking losers are on Facebook or Instagram all day? And I've absolutely joined the legion of fucking losers

on Facebook and Instagram all day. But like when it, when I was like, we weren't. We were not. When I was peeking in my fucking life, of course I wasn't looking at Facebook and Instagram. Well,

it's also funny to think of like that writer's room is the like the most people who like a group with the most like deference like we're not going to do YouTube or we're not going to do like always putting off technology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we wrap this up, Jeff? Well, no, I still have quite a bit of drink.

So does our co-stim. You hit the yolk. Tim, you want to, you chugging? You can hit the yolk? I'm not going to chug, but I'm going to try to finish it before the end of the same. This yoke is really sticking together there. I think my yoke got cooked.

It's cooked. That would be so funny if it was a hard yoke when you... You got a scramble in there? Yeah. No, no, it's still just a yoke, but I think it's cooked. I'm taking big gulps. and it's definitely involving the yolk the yoke the yoke is sticking to the bottom of the glass

your loke yooks a little your yoke looks a little like it's still together do you guys know what band quiz quiz time i do quiz time what band has a song called they punctured my yoke i don't know yeah give us some hints jeff it's on the band it seems to be on fire in a way currently? Metaphorically.

Oh. Fleaming lips. Yes. Oh, that's in a way. Anybody got any other sort of egg questions? No, no egg questions, but I'll tell you guys this. It's some fun facts, some Disneyland fun facts I learned. And I've been telling people because it's one of the few instances where I'm on

Instagram and you just kind of click through some things like, here are 10 facts about and you click through it and you look at it you never think of it but I've actually remembered two of them and I'm excited about them here we go Disneyland it's got the

California Adventures got the Tower of Terror Never been, never been Now it's Garden of the Galaxy Gardens of Galaxy Yes yes I knew that They built that as high as they could They got Groot in that thing Oh yeah

Yes on the Gardens of the Galaxy version What about Gru? I think they have Grogu Grout, grew and grogoo. Let's make a movie with those fucking guys, man. Those fucking guys together, man. Those fucking guys. We got to make a t-shirt that's

Groot and Groogoo. Yeah, how about we'll call it Gru Crew. And it's like, it's those fucking guys, rated G. We'll call it G crew because they all have Gs in there. Anyway, so that building, so they did it this like forced perspective thing. You know, so it looks smaller at the top, so it doesn't have to be as tall. And they were going to build it to a certain height.

Very common in theme parks, folks. Very common. It's all down the main street is the same thing. Go ahead, Mike. We should go to the fucking Harry Potter world. How are we doing here? You want to take Tim to die. Gone All he couldn't make it through X month.

Tim, uh, Michael. Tim, Mike, let's, oh, this is getting a messy. Tim, this is going to be a fun blowout because we already talked about we're doing that this is going to be a really fun blowout. We're blowing a. This is, point 0.08. Folks, this is good.

Well, I'm going to blow, I think, way over. I might be blowing more than 0.08 at the end of the blowout of me. I'm talking about it. Jeff, would you stop with all the rude attitudes? Sorry. So they got this huge building. They made it a foot lower than they wanted to make it because if they went a foot higher, they would have to put the red blinking, like airplane lights on top.

Yeah. And it would ruin the whole aesthetic. I love that. Yeah. Here's another one. That didn't brush you. You're saying Tower Terror is that high. It's that high, but it's not up.

It's also near the Burbank Airport. Planes aren't hitting it. Like that high, but it's like. But I'm thinking a big rollercoasters is six flags and stuff. Do they have lights on the top so planes don't hit them? Maybe. I'm not sure.

It's not near the Burbank. And it doesn't distract from the experience. If you're on a fucking zero G-force corkscrew, you're not looking at, oh, there's a light up top. It ruins the illusion. You hear the John Wayne Orange County Air Force. I mean, he's close to the. The Perbent airport in the sense that like... Southern California.

Okay, that one was stupid. Here's the other one. The other one was the flags in like downtown Disney or like the main street either have like one less, the American flags, have one less star or like an extra stripe or an extra star because if there's like an event in the U.S. where they were lowing our like half-masting our flags, they don't have to do it so they can just keep it looking like... Because you go to Disneyland, the happiest place. You want to see a half-mast and go. Oh, what was this? So that's how they...

Oh, there was a shooting today. Like every day. Right. No. There's a word for that in a way. Trinkflation. No, no, no. You heard of this term malicious compliance.

Malicious compliance. You heard it. Evan had it explained to me. Take it away, Jeff. Hanford is Mr. Malicious compliance. Because it'll be like... Kind of like a bond villain.

That's like you got two kids. They're always fighting. You're like, hey, uh, stop putting down your little sister. Say something that you like the most about your sister And then the kid says She's sexy It's just like

And the kid says what do I like most about my sister? Her absence And that's malicious compliance So what so what how am I doing that Disney is like they're playing according to the rules But they're angling it for their own means Yeah I feel like the ends control the means

You feel like the ends control the means He feels like the taste like the tail wags the dog. That's a good movie. Wag the dog. So I'm the one here with the last sip of a sludgy yolk. And I still have a yoke. Yeah, Tim's really just...

I have an isolated yoke. I just need a little more tobacco and I'm going to... Throw a little pepper. There's a little ground pepper on that, Tim. Put it a pot. Put it a pan. I'm going to take this... This is a yoke to the dome right here on the pod, folks.

Here we go. Yoke dome. Oh, he's nasty, folks. He's so nasty. And not to be out dumb. by my co-host. Go ahead. Go ahead, Timmy.

The yolk never broken in my mouth. I swallowed it right down to my stomach. Ooh, go bloop. Now, that feels very oystery to me. That feels very oysters. I like, I love oysters. Wait. Ah, Tuesday at Mess Hall, they got $10 cheeky drinks and $1 oysters.

Yeah. That wouldn't be bad mixing or pairing that up with that. It's not Tuesday, though. I know, that's the problem. But pairing that up with that fish taco day. Oh, the fish taco day. I've been doing that, Tim. I've been doing that.

They upped the price. It's when out it's $199. The era is over. But Mess Hall is a $20 steak fritz and a $6 martini on Wednesday. Oh, I'm not joining you on that. Honestly,

Mess Hall, flop era. Not flop era. You mean flop restaurant. No, no, no, no.

Good restaurant in general or like there were salad, there were salad days. I remember we would shoot birthday boys. And Mike and I'd be like, that was a big, long, hard day. We got to be up at 6 a.

but hey, let's go over to mess all. Let's check on the bar. I don't think it got worse. I think that you got fancier. I think that over-priced him. It's simply overpriced. Can I quickly shoot my yoke before we- Overbriced?

I told you there's $6 martini. I'll fucking strangle you. No, no, $6 martini is good. Did you say that as part of your whole thing? Yeah, you said flop-era. Yeah, I was too excited to just sort of... Flop Hera. Yeah.

I wish you would have maliciously complied. Okay. Oh, no, the yoke broke. The yoke broke. The yoke broke. Oh, nasty. I feel it lurching down my throat. Well, Jeff, is it an order again?

That's a hard-hidden question. If you have a bunch of good friends that you can confide in, get them together. Okay. Get them together. Get a chicken. Get them to lay three eggs. Get a chicken.

Get your hands on chicken. And then you make these with your friends. Make them with your boys. Make them with your girls. You're getting this up because I got to put this. I'm stretching it out. I've got to put the AC on. I'm so hot.

Make them with your MBs. You're going to be going, do these. This is when in Rome, folks. It's an order again. But if you have a group of friends or. Yeah, we got the friends. Let's say you have a podcast and you need to make content, you got to do this.

Drink, man. You know, you got to follow up X month with something weird. The Tim wanted to do. Right. This is the definition of order again. If you are being brought in to do a shot like this with a high-powered person you want to impress and be in the good graces of. It's very much like, I will do this if I need to impress someone. Does the CEO of my company insist that I do this?

Yeah, I'm not seeking this out. So in the most, you know, basic sense, a not order again. This is a not order again for me either. And you know, a big part of it is the three ounces of liquor. I feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a certain type of person that's like, oh, you're hungover. Let me set you up with a thing. There's a certain type of person.

but you know let's say you're the bartender in Hill Valley in 1885 and Doc Brown has been he needs to be resuscitated you're mixing all kinds of weird shit you're waking up I feel like I am an enthusiast of

hangover cures and when I make someone a hangover cure my secret is the small amount of booze I will make somebody a Bloody Mary with one ounce of vodka a big Bloody Mary because you want it you want them to have a good taste and want to come back for more.

I want them to not get drunk again. I think the thing about... You don't want to kick a can. You just want to touch. Yeah, I'm just trying to take the edge off and a little bit of... Just the night before. Let's say you have a headache and you're nauseous.

I want to suggest. I just want to suggest. But I feel like literally, I'll make someone a very weak of Bloody Mary or if it's somebody that likes like sweet stuff, I'll give them like... I'll make like a little like a baby sweet shot that's like sweet and sweet.

baby, but I don't think you want to get tipsy again, because now you're kicking the can on your hangover, you're getting a double hangover tomorrow. Okay. You said baby and Jeff made the fart noise. Baby's fart. But I know, but it's usually we do like, I had some beans the other day. Okay.

But like a baby is like so yeah, babies fart. Like a human's fart. I tried to make what I thought would come out as a baby noise. It came out as a fart noise. Look, we don't have to agree as. guys as friends yes we understand you got this friend group getting essentially two nose and me the sole yes I'm a no sort of a brave guy I feel like the egg was irrelevant it was neither actually gross nor added anything it was just we got a little

protein in us that's nice yeah a little protein for the protein yeah baby my third and fourth eggs of the day um now but this is good because it makes me wonder like hey shit this is my third egg of the day in that salad I had a hard boiled oh in the knees what Nick Cassee. Jeff, did you have toast with your eggs or you only eating two eggs?

This was a, oh, I'll tell you what I did. Too hard boiled. I cut them like halfway through douse a bunch of tamari on there, brood soy sauce, Tamari on there. Halfway through.

Wait, I have Tamari. I've never known the difference between soy sauce and tomorrow. What is it? Take it away, Jeff. Tamari's a little more smoky and brood versus your kickover. Like in a Mr. Coffee?

What the fuck? Brood? Yeah, what do you mean? Boiled? distilled or distilled. I don't know if it's a brood. The point is it's more like hardcore and legit than you're a mess.

I grew up in a Tamari household. My mom was putting Tamari on everything, but we didn't even. But we didn't even, it wasn't even like we were having Chinese food. It's just like she would make like baked carrots and we put Tamari on them instead of salt. But as far as the eggs,

I don't want to go full chalky yolk hard boil. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. And then I basically like take a spoon and I like have them a little bit. So they're hanging together, but barely.

And then I drizzle all that shit on there so it infiltrates the yolk. I want to make what they call a, you heard of a drug egg? A drug egg? A tea egg? Maybe. But it's in like Asian cultures. It's like what you'll find in like a ramen or something like that. It's like a hard boiled egg that is just soaked in like soy sauce and onions and all this other

and chili oil and all this other crazy shit. It's like when the egg starts turning it like a brown color because it's like seeped in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We should, that'd be a good blowup. But, and then I put a little friccaki, um, Furricaki, I think is the name of it. What's that?

Um, it's like a Trader Joe's, uh, catch all Asian seasoning. It's like seaweed flakes and sesame seeds and like, I bet there's some MSG in there for, yeah, it's probably, probably some MSG in there, but that's how I do my eggs. Dang. Dang. Dang, dude. I do my eggs. Uh, I'm a purist. French style. I'm talking butter in the pan, salt in the egg, whip that egg with a fork, nothing else.

I'm not doing anything else. Just perfect butter egg, salt, perfect. Undercooked. You still doing slow? Yeah, yeah. Almost to the point where it's a runny raw egg, but it's, you know, I hate an overcooked egg. Folks.

I like my hard boiled eggs. The yolk so hard as blue. Oh. Folks, how do you do your eggs? Let us know. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys where we release these episodes ahead of time.

These recipes ahead of time. Oh, boy, it's going to be a crazy blowout, folks. Yeah, get on the Patreon if you're not, folks. And check out the Sloppy Boys.com. We've got shirts and vinyl for sale. It's all happening there. We've got our tours coming up. Our upcoming shows are on there.

It's the place to be set it as your homescreen. And if you do come to our show, send us a pizza on stage. That's a fun thing we like and if you do it, we like you. So yeah, you send a pizza up, we're lining our stomachs, we're drinking, the show goes longer

because we're not as drunk. We're going to be playing at the end of May in Atlanta, Knoxville, Nashville. So in Nashville, bring us hot chicken up to the stage. Atlanta, what do we they eat there? I don't know.

Bushal of peaches. Yes, bushel of peaches. Knoxville. Georgia. Bring us some Johnny Knoxville merchandise. Yeah. We love you, folks. Follow us over to the blowout right now,

because we're going to be blow. We're each going to sight unseen, try to get to the point where we're 0.08 BAC. This is going to blow. We're going to be wondering, should I drink a little more? Should I wait a little bit? I know.

I'm going to have a, nail it. I'm going to have an open drink with a beer. And I'm going to do the blow thing, and I'm going to see, like, See if you can fine tune. Yeah, but your first blow is where the money is. Right, but I have a feeling that I just think I'm already past 0.08.

Save it for the blow on that type of talk, save it. Folks, let's come find out if Mike Hanford is right. Yep. Bye, folks. Bye. Peace.