The Sloppy Boys - 298. Lime Cucumber Gatorade and Tequila

Episode Date: July 3, 2026

The guys use their platform to shine a light on the Gatorita variant taking convenience stores by storm. Could this limey, cukey, boozy hydrator be a contender for the drink of the summer?LIME CUCUMBER GATORADE AND TEQUILA RECIPE:Pour 2oz tequila into a glass filled with ice. Top up with Lime Cucumber Gatorade.WANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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July 10th in Seattle. at Barbosa and July 11th in Chicago at Subterranean. Feel the thrilling highs at lusty lows of the nightlife. You've never seen Dutz like this. DUSS. Don't miss the performance of a lifetime. Kenny Gray with special guests, Duts. Tickets on sale now.

Hey folks, this is Tim Kelpacchus from the sloppy boys. I know what you're thinking. Hey, I'm going to sit at home all summer long and listen to a fucking podcast. on my phone. Wrong. You're going to see the sloppy boys party rock band play a loud rock and roll show in your town.

Toronto, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cleveland, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Chicago. That's right, I'm talking Toronto, July 15th, that Drake Underground. Buffalo, July 16th at the wreck room. Pittsburgh, July 17th, bottle rocket, social, Detroit, July 19th, that's Smalls.

Cleveland, July 20th at Beechland Tavern, St. Louis, July 21st at Blueberry Hill, Duck Room, that's over there in University City. Minneapolis, July 22nd, Zora Darling, and Chicago, we're closing it out there at Improv Olympic I-O-Fest on July 23rd. Hey, folks, isn't it crazy what's going to? out of this town? Hey! You got me, Trump!

Come on out and have some fun for once in your whole fucking life, okay, folks. Hey, folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello? And Tim Calpacus? What is up Fourth of July weekend stylies? And we're your host, The Boys of the Summer, the new classic guys. The sloppy boys here with timeless integrity, week after week.

Culture starts here. And culture starts here. That's right. Expand, ascend, and conquer. You had a good one in the last one, Jeff. The Great American Podcast. Oh, yes. When we covered the Great American novel.

Yeah, great American novel and the Great American podcast. Hey, how nice was it to not have to read a book this week, huh? Oh, yeah, man. Maybe. I'm looking at my. phone. I'm cranking off. You're looking at the liby app, I hope. My dopamine is through the roof. Yeah, I'm cranking off to the liby app. I unlocked a new summer fear. You know, we talked about our summer fears on the pot of a little while back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it? Meeleon, put in a nice

unlocked sound. New summer fear. Unlocked. Yeah. Here I am playing Jenga, pool side. Not normal size, Jenga. Not the Jenga you're picturing from your youth. This is not your... I'm picturing a small. Not your daddy's Jenga. Big boy Jenga, big box. Shit.

Playing on a tabletop. Now are you next to a pool, you said? Mm-hmm. Next to a pool. Okay. So I'm barefoot. Uh-oh. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. This all sounds great until Jeffie pulls the wrong block. Would fall on foot. would fall on foot. Ooh. Wood in my pool. Wood fall on foot.

Probably, I haven't looked at it. I'm going to guess a big purple welt. Oh. I had a big old bulge. Did it go right on the top part? Oh. The top of the bony part. It's just like bone.

Oh, yeah, Jeff. Oh, yeah. I look at it. Mike, I, uh, Jeff, I think that toe is just dislocated. If I pull on it real hard, I think I'll get it right back in the spot. Yeah, Jeff, get out of your room and run over to Tim's house and see if you can pop it back in. for you. I don't want that one toe sagging and bagging around the sock. You don't want a severed toe hanging out in a skin bag.

Folks, you probably think if you're just new to the podcast, you're probably thinking these three are lunatics. We talked about this on last episode, maybe Tim, breaking his toe and having his dad tried to re-look, reset it when he was a kid. Go back and listen to that. By yanking. By yanking, the traditional myth. Instead, he pulled it off. That was behind the paywall on the, the blow at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys, where we also talked about the great Gatsby folks, culture starts there.

Yeah, you start here, but culture starts there. So you start here and then you go to the culture. Right, right. That shows sort of the TikTok. This is the Instagram where we regurgitate the TikTok. Yeah, we like that. Jeff, did the whole tower topple on your foot or just one errant plank? Tim, all it takes is one plank.

Yeah. Those are big, too. Were they like, were they like, uh, uh, uh, ice cream sandwich size? Yeah, they actually, they were. But a big ice cream sandwich, but a big one. But it's like frozen dense solid. It's like an ice cream sandwich, but strange shape, weird size. Not like in this ice cream sandwich, folks.

Anyone else? Any, any, uh, summer news, any fears unlocked or, or dreams achieved, anything? Um. I started believing in a ghost. I think I have a ghost in my hallway. I'm new to that. Really? Believe in a ghost.

Yeah, I believe in a ghost. No, what happened? Because you were, this must be real signs of this, because you are a not a ghost type guy. Not a ghost guy, but I, you know, multiple instances feeling like I see something in my hallway. And then I had a dream. Now you're probably thinking the dreams don't count. Well, the dream's fake. Yeah, okay.

I'm back to being an atheist. No, no. Dreams are sort of a doorway to the beyond in a way. In a way. On this very podcast, last year, a live episode in Cincinnati, I switched from being an atheist to believing God because a demon came after me over or something. What was that? Oh, right.

You, it was like you looked at somebody. Oh, I was listening to the Speechify app and a demon talked to me through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. So I'm a believer. But this week's paranormal event. I just had a two reel of a nightmare where I was walking down my hallway and then something was going on in my bathroom and I opened the door. And there was a lady, kind of an older lady, scared of me in a Victorian nightgown.

Oh, and she was scared of me. And she ran and she ran out the front and I chased after her because she was like my neighbor's wife or something like that. So I think it's a past generation's neighbor's wife who's haunting my hat hole. That's weird. You should ask your landlord, if anything weird happened on your property. Uh, yeah. Uh, Mieland bleeped that. I don't want to get dogs and killed.

I just, I'm just going to say. Wait, Tim, now this is interesting because you live there for a long time, and you haven't had any paranormal experiences before. Um, even this one is not actually a paranormal experience. I think of it. It was a scary dream, which is, like, it's a different one. Yeah. So we're alone in the universe again. Damn. You know what? I was I was watching some YouTube video the other day. It was like about the different dimensions of time. Dimensions. No, just the dimensions. Like first, second, third, fourth. And then it got into fifth and sixth and seventh. And this stuff, man, is like, whoa.

Yeah, I don't like you watching that stuff, Mike. I know. I've, I've, you read your salt book. Okay. Salt's done. I've got enough to worry about in the sodium world. I've gotten, I've gotten so past salt. I'm on to the seventh dimension. Oh, God. Just finish the goddamn saltbook. My YouTube is like showing me videos like that because I'll watch one and then they just keep growing, growing. And I'll watch some of these videos that talk about, I think I was telling you one, Jeff, about how like there's the different theories that you might exist. Your body might only be existing for a millisecond in some weird other universe.

It's, it makes you think. And it makes you go, wait a minute. None of this shit means anything or matters at all. you're right dude bye folks no you can't you don't sign off with that by Mike it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter at all it means take the moments you have and tell the people you love that you love them like for example next time I see that scared lady in my bathroom rummaging around

Victorian lady I'm gonna say lady I appreciate everything about you I adore you that was the other thing she was like rummaging through my shit like my prescriptions. Percipsych. Oh, she's a fucking junkie from the Victorian age. She's probably a fucking a soprano's character actor, like a

cosplayer. So I think she's hysterical, Tim. Maybe she has hysteria. She has hysteria. She's just the one of just toxicly apocalypticly horny. Yeah, that's what you, like women who had hysteria, they would go to the doctor. The doctor would rub their

Clint. they came and then they'd be like, you're healed. All better. Wait. That's what, I thought, is that what a hysterectomy is? Wait. No. No.

No. Wait a minute. But now, wait a second, though. There could be something here. Hysterectomy is when you have her uterus removes, but maybe it's roots in the, the etymology. I thought there was, Jeff, are you typing away over there? Yeah, I sure am. Okay.

Maybe in the old days when people were nuts, we gave them orgasms and also sniffed out their uterus. I think hysteria had something to do with a hysterectomy, but. Well, they're both named after the uterus, it seems. Well, we'll wait for one of our male listeners to chime in and set us straight. Yeah, come on, boys. Let us know. Well, do we get in some booze news? Boos News hit it Now that we've established ourselves

As a podcast That deals with the facts Let's get some booze news Ghosts and hysteria He's a bozo with some good knowledge Some bozo with the no How Phaen range

Bozo with the no Businessman that knows business tricks Businessman that knows business tricks Bozo with the know How Bozo with the know how Bozo with the know-how. A businessman that knows business tricks.

Businessman that knows business tricks. Boso. Stop. Stop. Stop-stop-no. Boso-o-so. Stop-stot-no. You know, I think his whole thing is, he's like a, you know, a businessman that knows business tricks. Business, business, business.

Pagan rage. That was a good name. Jesus Christ. Bozo with the know-how was sent to us by Pagan Rage. And if you have a booze news theme email it, to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. Damn, that was good. Pagan rage. I think I met Pagan Rage somewhere after a show somewhere,

and they were saying, do Skinny Girl Margarita. Skinny Girl Margarita. Oh, yeah, we'll do that. That's something we, I was like, oh, we'll definitely do. We'll do anything for Pagan Rage. And in fact, you know, when I said their good name, it's not just, hey, Pagan Rage is cool, but their real name is Rage, Page, Paige, Paige,

Reagan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That flip is cool. Yeah. You think it's cool to say Kim Talpacchus?

Hike Manford's no good. Hike Manford. Jeff Judton? That sounds like a Star Wars character, actually. Def in the cool sense and jutting like your dick's jutting out of your pants. Like that? I thought like he's jutting around the street. to watch him straight.

Okay, today's top story and booze news. I got a couple of things here. First up, folks, big news for a big friend of the pod. Check it out. It's the solid Wiggles Cookbook. Hey. Come on, baby. Congratulations, celebrity bartender Jack Schram.

He's the guy who gave us an online tutorial in the early days of this pod to give us the strong grasp of the fundamentals. Yeah, which we still grasp to this day. He taught us 2-1-1. He taught us 2-1-1. He's a cool guy on the scene. He's got a cool leather jacket. And I am going to the Solid Wiggles release party, launch party tomorrow night.

I'll do a little audio thing and let you guys know how it is. Oh, shit. So folks, if you don't know Solid Wiggles, our friend celebrity bartender Jack Schramm, he started this company a few years ago that does jello shots that are delicious and then jello like cakes that are like beautiful for parties and stuff. Now they've come out with this good looking cookbook that's like, you know, like a glorious coffee table book. This would be good for, you know, for people until like 70s dinner party type Betty Crocker cookbook type stuff. You can you can make all this shit. I was reading it today.

It's got a really great like it teaches you a lot about about the shit you're working with here and it's steeped in history, but I did have one note for Jack, which is in the about the author. There's only one mention of the Zloby boys? Weirdly there's zero.

But he did say if he does a second volume that he's going to include the Calpi Cordial. It says in the about the author, Brooklyn-based beverage professional, Jack No, no, no. We have dubbed you celebrity bartender Jack Schramm. Oh.

Trammer. Come on, dude. Tram? Tram. We gave you the name. When you say cookbook, well, it's more than a cookbook, it seems. But recipe book. They're not teaching you how to make those beautiful solid wiggles case.

Those are like designer luxury. How would you even begin to make one of those things? They're showing you how to clarify juices. They're showing you how to whip it around and centrifugees. it into a clear, beautiful gelatin that's gelatinous. He's giving it away. So he's given away his own trade secrets.

Yeah, he's a fool. I told you. The guy's basically an idiot. Okay. I want to continue with Boo's news, but now ACAST is making me play another commercial. You know how they said we have to do that? Yeah, I know

about that. Sucks. Okay. Well, we got to pay the bills, I guess. Acast, here you go. Here is the ad you want to roll. Sorry, everyone. I'm Faith Hill, and I'm here to tell you about a new drink that's been going around this summer. It's viral. It's all the rage, and it was invented on a podcast.

Now, here we go. It's a pineapple beverage. It's got sour mix. It's got one part, each of those, and another ingredient. It's got two parts dark rum. It's a party shot. It's piss. It's piss.

With shitting it. It's piss. It's piss. With shitting it. The piss and shit shot from the sloppy boys. You're going to want to do a one, two parts, dark rum, one part pot apple juice, one part sour, chill them shake them up put them in a shot glass

with yellow on bottom and brown up top and then take a shot it's the piss and shit enjoy it folks bye wow wow oh wow okay

that's Faith Hill yeah wow wow she sounds great yeah does she do the does she do the Hanky the Christmas poo Yeah, she on Soft Park that's about 15 years ago.

They brought her in just for that, the Christmas episode of season one. That's exciting, though. I love that these big celebrities are getting this, getting on board with the piss and shit. Because it really is the summer shot, a summer drink. It's great. Yeah. And it was a little, you know, it's a little deeper than I expected. at the chorus she didn't say the piss and shit.

She said like with shit in it. It was just like a little, it's a little more sophisticated than you're expecting. That's why she's got a few country music awards than we do not. And she's still got that voice. Oh yeah. She also like it's,

it sounded kind of like she only did one take of that commercial. So that's my one. My one. I mean, do a second thing. I've never seen someone of her stature of fumfer and flail so much in one take.

Sometimes it didn't seem like she knew what she was saying. Other times she was saying too much. Yeah. I agree. That's wild. That's cool. Cool stuff. Mike, did you have booze news? Yeah, he did. I got a little something. Meel and actually, or Jeff, do you have that

Out and About song? That's fun. He's out and about. Yes, Heifers out and about. It's Heifers. out and about. Okay, so this is big. I got to sit down. So Stephen Spielberger has a new movie, the director.

It's, I forget what it's called. Yeah, I tried to talk about it last week, and you made me talk about the World Cup. Oh, but he was, you know, he's on these, these press tours. And I said, I was like, you know what? I think I saw him at the last sloppy boy's show. why don't I head on over this press tour and talk to him about it? And just because I think that was him.

And people told me it was him. So I just wanted to sit down with him to chat. And he was on this press tour. So he was already in a question answering mood. So I did a little interview with him and take it. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's pretty nice. Yeah, that's crazy.

Because there's a lot of dudes who have glasses, beards, hats at our shows. But wow, one of them was old Stephen. Yeah, one of them was worth over a billion dollars. Okay. Oh, shit. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Okay, I'm here with the world famous Steven Spielberg. Steven, thank you for being here. Thank you. Now, Stephen, I understand you were in the audience at our last L.A. show. We played at Zebulon. It was a great show. What did you think? It was amazing. Oh, thanks you. Praise the old bastard. Well, now, how would you describe one of our shows to the uninitiated? 500 people. They're all laughing. It is one of the greatest, most fun, loving. things you could do for yourself. Yeah, yeah. We always said our shows, our live shows are like

a groovement, you know? It's a psychic thing. It was just an intoxicant. It was about something, about something important, but it never let me go. Oh, for sure. You feel it. I suddenly had strangers who were allies. I can't tell you how awesome that makes me feel. I mean, I'm talking to one of the actors from the Gremlin's movie, A, and B, he's a fucking Sloppy Boys fan Make rules. You don't get that feeling watching a music video by yourself

but you get that in a stadium. You get that in a venue even with a couple hundred people. It's just completely contagious. Complete contagious? I don't know what that means. Okay. Steve, any songs that you just always

wanted the sloppy boys to cover live? Hook. The blues traveler's song. Yeah, that's what you can't say. You'll probably pull it off. Moving on. Any album title suggestions for our next album. A Need for Speed. That's why you're the goat. I love that. That's perfect.

Now, Stephen, on The Sloppy Boys Blowout, which I know you're a patron, we just talked about the Great Gatsby. Do you like that book? Do you even know much about it? I need to know more about it. And that's what I'm doing this summer. Oh, cool. I'm working on my posture and trying to do abs by August, Jeff too, I think. Okay, next question. And you don't have to answer this if you don't want. You still get freak nasty these days? I do. All right, a few words. Just tell us a little bit about your latest sexual escapade. Dribbling hot fudge over potato chips. Maybe I shouldn't have asked this question.

E.T. I was a little moist. Yep, nothing's changed. You're still worried. It only lasted two minutes. Wow, okay. That might be the TMI. Here's another odd question. How would you describe your bowel movements these days? One battle after another. Same a minute. All right, Steve. Well, you know you got a few chances to see us this summer.

Starting July 15th, the sloppy boys are going on the road. July 15th will be in Toronto, Canada, July 16th, Buffalo, New York, July 17th, Pittsburgh, PA, July 19th, Hamtramic, Michigan, July 22nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota, and July 23rd, Chicago, Illinois. What about Cleveland? Oh, shit, you're right. Thanks for reminding me, Stephen. The sloppy boys will be in Cleveland playing at Beachland Ballroom and Tavern on July 20th. Thank you. Okay, thank you so much for this interview. I got to get the fuck out of here.

Folks, go see Steven Spielberg's new movie in theaters. wherever it is playing and I forget what it's called. All right. Wow. I can't believe. What a get. Probably the biggest guy ever on Pod.

Wow. The biggest guy at our show. Yeah, definitely on Pod. Yeah. But definitely at our shows too. Probably the most famous. Yeah. I mean,

one of the biggest guys. Let's just say that. One of the biggest guys for sure. And it would have love to see him stop by the merch table though, huh? Oh, yeah. God. I think it would go something like this.

I'll take one of everything. Yeah. That would rule for us. Stephen, that's like $100. It was amazing that you, you asked him what song we should cover and man, he had hook lined up. He was right. Yeah, he's like, he's so,

he's a big fan. He's boom, bo, bo, he knew all this stuff. Yeah. And then, I mean, he's a good sport because you told him that his sex life was TMI and then your very next question was how his bowel. Yeah, he was able to answer that question, no problem. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He's open. He's an open book. That's the secret.

That was cool. So folks, be like Stephen Spielberg and get yourself out to a sloppy boys live show this July. Yes, and recently added St. Louis, Missouri on July 21st at Blueberry Hill Duck Room. Get in on that, folks. That's right. Damn. One of these days, the duck room's going to serve Badger, and then it's going to, ooh, the fur is going to fly on that day. Oh yeah. And then the badger and then the badger and the duck room had a baby.

Okay. All right. With that nonsense out of the way, we turn our attention to the drink of the day. This is the main event, folks. This is why people tune in. Okay. Okay. This is a special one.

This kind of comes from my very own life. Yes. This came up on pod not too long ago. This doesn't come from a blog, okay? This is me walking around my very own street. This is great because people are trying to get off the apps and get back out into the world, more IRL experiences. Jeff, take it away.

Here I am. Turn into my corner store. I'm looking through chips. Eating some of them? Did any kids in the store maybe that are off of school, like have a cap gun they were playing with? Any laser guns? Laser. All right.

So there I am. I'm looking for one thing at that time. At that time, I'm looking for one thing. Grapefruit soda. Because me and my girl going to watch a movie. We're going to make Palomas. Ooh. Smart.

I bring up that grapefruit soda. The guy at the counter says, what are you making Palomas? And I said, yeah. And he said, you know what you got to do is tequila with cucumber lime gatorade. And he said, and he asked me like, like I had had done it. He's just like, you ever do that? And I said, no, I've never heard of this. I didn't know that this is something people do.

And more so than that, I didn't know that cucumber lime was a gatorade flavor. Am I that far? Yeah, that was the big thing to me. That's nuts. And not only when I went today to go buy some, cucumber lime is in every flavor of the Gatorade family. It's main feed Gatorade. Gatorade Zero.

Oh. Gator light. Gator light zero. Oh, the electrolyte. Piedelite kind of thing. Yeah, that's like the Pio. And then, you know that brand Electrolit? It's like electrolyte, but electrolyte.

They also have cucumber lime. So this is a flavor. Wow. That's, is there a cucumber lime? Are you guys seeing that anywhere else out in the world? Like, other than like a cocktail? Yeah. That's halfway to a PIMS cup.

Yeah, really. I mean, I wouldn't, I've had this, I stole a sip of this flavor of lime cucumber Gatorade today when I bought some of it, it's delicious. I haven't had it with the tequila, but the cucumber is faked very well. They did a good job. I like to see, quite frankly, more of this flavor and less of the fucking fake mango stuff everywhere. I fucking look all over the fucking place. Yeah.

I feel like we're in the last gasp of the fake mango. Yep. Ooh, you don't like it a mango anymore. It's a fake mango. Oh, no touch on a fake. Folks, we're calling it the cucumber lime, gatorade, and tequila. Lime cucumber gatorade and tequila. Lime, cucumber, gatorade, and tequila.

We're looking online for the name. What's the name? LCGT, that's kind of cool. That's pretty good. We've heard of the LCGT community loves this drink. They call it the, they call it. The Gatorita in some circles, but typically that's the lemon lime, although you do see like, oh, you can do any flavor.

The Mexican water hazard has been bandied about. Tim, is that? Right, because we've done the water hazard, which is blue Gatorade and vodka and lemonade. Oh, yes. That was a big golf cart, or cart girl drink. Cart girl drink. Cart girls, this is still happening out there on the golf courses. The cart girls are blowing up on TikTok.

I'm poor. There was also, we've talked about, there was like a little trend in Gatorade cocktails a couple summers ago. I remember doing a summer roundup and there was Gator wine, Gatorade, red Gatorade and red wine, and rosaderade. Which we cover. And then another big cargo drink we didn't do was Purple Hays, but I know that comedian John Gaboris drinks Gatorade and tequila. And when he's been on tour with doughboys, he had been doing that. I forgot what flavor he used and the name of us. So I texted him today and I said, hey, dude, Jeff's liquor store guy makes his cucumber

lime gatorade and tequila. And we're talking about variations. What's your gatorade thing you've mentioned on doughboys? Is it the gatorita? Is it Gaboris rita? Do you use lemon lime flavor? That was my big question. Do you use the lemon lime?

He said, L.O.L. I did. Yes. It has been called many variations. So if that, I think he said. said go with Gay Brita. But he said cucumber lime is my favorite Gatorade, too. Didn't consider using that one. So he's never made it to this flavor, but he gives it the thumbs up.

There is a huge fandom for this drink. Scouring the internet for the name of this thing, I've just seen so many people be like, it's the best flavor by far. Now, I'm a red Gatorade or red Powerade kind of purists. I think red is the king flavor. Fruit punch. Purple Frost for me. Ooh, good pick.

But a question for you guys. How are your electrolytes right now? Whoa. Whoa. I could use some perfect balance of sugar and salt. Yeah. That's all it is, right? Perfect balance of sugar and salt.

That's an electrolyte. Yes. Yes, it is. Jeff, I'm going to say sugar and salt and potassium and magnesium. Ooh. And a little bit of that green coloring. I tried to mix up my own liquid IV and I didn't have potassium. But it didn't, weirdly.

They did have magnesium. You're right, Tim. Sodium, potassium, magnesium. Geez. He's good. He's good. I'm good. Okay, folks, here was what we're going to do.

Two ounces of tequila in a rocks glass filled with ice. Ooh. Top up with lime cucumber Gatorade. I think you'd give it a little pinch of a lemon or a lime. If you get some real citrus in there, that would be great. I'm going to put a lime wedge on the side and then, pinch optionally as if I go. I'll say also I've seen a fair bit of people

putting Tahin in here, like not just on the rim, but like in the drink. Oh, wow. That's too much. Now, you had mentioned this might be like a big solo cup type of drink with a lot of Gatorade, but I agree. Let's try it first with this Rock's Glass and see if it makes a nice little rocks glass coffee. The philosophy is the same. On Ice is the idea. You don't want to, you don't want a semi-warm Gatorade. Well, I was

wondering if people like take a glug of the Gatorade and then dump a nip of tequila into the thing. Ooh, Pobonono. Oh. Pobonono. That's a way to do it. Damn, that'd be good too. But for now, rocks on the classy, sloppy, boys podcast.

All right, folks, we're going to make these up, and when we come back, first sips of what could be a late entrant into the drink of the summer. Which could be. We'll be right back after this. With lime cucumber Gatorade and tequila's in hand. Woohoo. It's got that ring to it. It's got a nice hue. That's a nice hue.

Beautiful, beautiful, inviting-looking drink. Here we go, Sips. Yep. Oh. Oh. Interesting. Jeff, if your liquor store guy was here, I'd give him a kiss on the mouth. Yeah, I wonder what else he's got.

What else you got kicking around that noggin' ears, dude? In that brain. Looking in his ear, what are you in there, man? This is great. I only used an ounce and a half of tequila. I wanted to not be too boozy,

but the taste of the gatorade itself is also just very interesting. This cucumber gatorade is... It's a good taste. Very crushable. Very crushable. And I would say that on its own, I took a sip, I said,

delicious and the cucumber and lime are not faky tasting. It's great. And they're easy on the flavor. But then, combined with this tequila, to you listeners at home, here's what's happening to me is sort of like, I'm not getting cucumber and lime anymore. It is, is it?

It's a cacti, cactus type of nectary. It's combining with the tequila to make me feel like I just ripped it on agave, cracked it and I'm chugging right out of it. Yeah, I will. You ever do that? Yeah, I'm always chopping off tops of, uh, cactus isn't drinking down that. Good goo.

squeezing out the goo. And the salt, right? You know, there's salt and gatorade and now we're having sort of a salty margarita. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. I squeezed my lime in and I like the extra limey flavor too. Oh, shit. I got to do that.

There's always round two, my boy. Yeah, I did the two ounces and it's good, but it's like a stiff drink. Whereas if I did an ounce and a half, I feel like it'd be way more of a, oh, I'm having three of these by the point. pool. Right. That's what I, yeah, yeah. That's why I didn't want to do like a big stiffy, like make me not taste the Gatorade. Yeah, I kind of want more of a long drink version today, just today. Yeah. But two ounces is great. It's a nice little stiffy. This might make for a good shot too, or is there maybe not enough space in there to put

enough Gatorade to give it like flavor. It's kind of kind of a diluterer. But it is weird. It's kind of just extending the tequila. I feel like a hold on. Folks, my computer went to sleep. I'll be back in mere seconds. Give me a second here. You're still alive with us. Okay. Yeah, we saw you the whole time.

I squeezed my lime wedge in there just now. And yeah, that sharpened it up just a little bit. Yeah. This is, this is. What you always pray for with any drink does some Jagoff tells you about, not to say that you're liquor store guy. He's a great man. He's a smart man.

Philosopher. But when people are recommending drinks to you. Jim on the show. taste is subjective. You might not love it, but what you're hoping is some sort of synergistic alchemy to happen and to not just taste the ingredients.

You want the, you want the whole to be greater than the sum of its parts. And I think that there is something happening here. There's something happening. Is that what that song is about? Buffalo Springfield? No, but I think that's the gasalt.

The gassalt theory. The whole is better than the sum of its parts. Damn. Gasalt. Gasalt. Who wrote the salt book? Gestalt? No, no.

Not the salt book. That was Mark Karlanski. Oh, well. Who would have thought adding Gatorade would make a liquor sing? Yeah. I know. I had, you know, I was a... There's a really cool...

There's a really cool cocktail place around here called Little Branch, folks. If you ever in Manhattan, try Little Branch. It's very... It's like on the corner of a place. The door is really... You go right down into a basement in this very cool little viby room. And last night I was there and I said, you know what? I want a G&T.

And could you make me just like give me a gin tonic, but do whatever you want to make it fun. But do whatever you want to it. Do it with it what you will. Yeah. And give me a slap on this thing. I put my fucking ham bell up on the bar. Woo! So she came back with,

the barterner came back with gin and tonic with muddled cucumber. And I was like, this is great. And it doesn't taste like this, but the muddled cucumber and she like muddled the lime to it and maybe added some other type of syrup or something.

But it was a nice, sweet, refreshing drink. You know what's going to help you muddle folks? Come out, see us live, get the exclusive sloppy boys muddler. New item at the merge table, Jeff? New item.

debut merch only. We're not we're not traveling with glassware. That's insane. Everybody's snapping up the glassware. We love to see that. But we travel with the muddler only available at live shows, exclusive to people who want to come out and have that venue communal experience. Like Stephen said. Yes. Yes. It's it's a psychic thing, he was saying. Now, that little muddler, are you only allowed to use it for muddling? Because it also looks like a little baseball bat. Some people might want to play some small baseball. Tim is not to be used for any sort of sports like small baseball or any vandalism. Okay.

That's good. That's good to put it out there. Does it work as a sex toy? That is fine. That is fair use for the sloppy boys muddla. Muddle your mound. We might, if these sell really well, we'll come out with some muddlers that can be used for vandalism. Yeah, yeah.

We will come out with that. Don't comment on that word, Tim. Well, I'm just saying that if we're saying don't use it as a sex toy, then I don't think the slogan should be muddle your mound. No, you can use it as a sex toy. I thought that's what we were saying. It's okay for that, but you can't use it for small baseball. You said your discretion. Okay.

Okay. I guess I was drunk on the drink of the day. I mean, nasty stuff. It's not, I don't know how smooth they are. These are, these are, look, for a muddler, these are high quality bamboo. These are the last year of a lifetime you can give them to your grandkids. Yeah. But do you want to rub it on your glons or clit?

I don't think so. No, that was a joke, folks. You will splinter up your most delicate areas if you've run this thing around there. Because they're made cheaply. They are splinter heavy. They're all, it's just a little bundle of splinters glued together there. We can take that out of you.

Oh, I like that. Hey, you know what's, I was the drink has me. thinking, I got a good, I have a big double rocks glass. So I got a good amount of Gatorade here and I'm loving the ratio. And I like this. So mine is sort of weak in a good way, making it a very crushable. I'm finding that most drinks that are sort of diluted this much tend to be carbonated. And I think there should be more drinks.

Flat boys. That are flat boys. But yeah, but like with a lot. I've been drinking sometimes whiskey lemonade. That's pretty good. Yeah, dude. It's like a whiskey sour, but you just know they're not going to overdo it. You know, sometimes you're like, yikes.

That's a nice quick whiskey sour. Quick ski sour, yes. It's funny making drinks around the house, and you probably experienced this at the Tiger Room, too. Sometimes you want bubbles. It's almost an ingredient. It's almost a taste ingredient where you're like, you make a drink and it's flat. And you're like, this needs a little sharpness. and it's not so much flavor as it is like maybe like a mouth feel thing.

And I've made things that are like, this just kind of feels DOA without bubbles. This drink is not that. This works on its own. This is intentionally a different experience. It's silky. And it's, it's, I mean, it's giving me this feeling. I feel like I'm at an aquarium or something. I feel like I'm amongst the Navi or something.

I feel like I just saw a stingray, man. I think you're fucking drunk, man. But it's a very aquatic experience and it's a very nectary, cactical, cactitious experience. Tactical cactical. Did I ever tell you guys I saw a stingray? No, no. You saw a stingray? I was down in the Bahamas and my sister and my girlfriend are nature people.

They like to get in to pet a manatee and things like that. And so they brought me into the shallows and a stingray was out there. but he was friendly, but everybody was laughing, laughing at Jeff, because it comes at Jeff and he steps aside. He doesn't want the stingray

rubbing on his legs. Did you touch it? Like it touched you? Yeah. Did it feel weird? Yeah. Was it smooth? Yes.

Yes, it was smooth. But like Kelsey and my sister are like feeding it, petting it. Like that thing killed Steve Irwin. Oh. That very one? I don't. think it's the one that's wanted for murder, but it's

whatever. Was this daytime or nighttime? Day. Because I did a thing in Hawaii where we went out there, you get in the water and you're holding onto a board with a bunch of different people and they shine a light down, you get snorkels on, they shine a light down and the light attracted a bunch of cool shit. See, Mike, we use our podcast to shine a light, but Tim's talking about something different. Yeah. Yeah. So I've stopped

doing this in Hawaii ever since our podcast started It's sort of highlighting and platforming important topics. You stopped doing that to why you didn't need to do. You felt like two, there was two. I was doing that four or five times a week. And Tim, when you were doing that,

you're like, this is just far too literal. I'm used to doing this sort of more, figuratively, figuratively, but mentally. Folks, the drink is strong.

You don't need to do two ounces. This drink is strong with this. one. You know what I'm going to do for my round two? Drink games strong. What? Drink is strong. It's, I don't have any more tequila because I had, I used less of my big, uh, patro.

Strong drink is. Go ahead, Mike. So, okay, now, Mike, you pause for a second. Let me talk to Jeff. Jeff. Mike said that he only put an ounce and a half of tequila because he didn't want to get too drunk. Now he's telling us he ran out of tequila.

So he really only had an ounce of tea. I only had an ounce and a half. So now what I'm going to do. Now, Mike, are you? You busted basically by your food. I'm busted up, man. I'm busted, chopped. I am unk with a funk, baby.

Busted, cooked, chopped, chuffed bunk with the funk. I'm an unc with the funk. Now, wait, Mike. Now, there's no way in fucking hell you have mescalor on your place. I doubt it unless I bought it for something else and stick it around. So I'm thinking I'm going to try like a vodka or something, to see what types of vodka is I had.

Well, sure. Yeah, I bet it's going to be good. It'll be like nothing. Tim, do you have a mescal? Because I'm seeing a lot of people using this for mescal. I have mescal and I know what that's going to taste like. Do what I want to do it. I don't like to keep it around.

Well, you and I ended up at an animator party not too long ago. And there was a guy selling, not selling. It was like a company doing canned mezcal drinks. Did you try any of those? I did not. I was busy eating 10 slices of pizza that night. Are we done with the mescal? The three of us don't get outboard with mescal right?

I told the guy. This was like the brand rep. He might have even been an owner or something like that. It's like a small company. And then they were flying around these mescal drinks canned a little sweeter than you'd think. But they still have that like peaty band-aid thing. And I told them, and you know, to be nice, I was like, Mescal isn't really my thing.

But I did have two of them. It was an open bar. They were free. but I don't keep it around the house. No, I mean, either. But we've been told by the bartender at Nativo that what you do is you say, hey, to a bartender say, I don't really love the smoky mescal has got anything nectary. And then I've tried this yet, but it's supposed to open up a whole new world for us.

Because tequila is made from one plant. Mescal could be made from something like 100 plants. So there's quite, there's a lot more diversity. But why do I always get the Band-Aid stank? Yeah, the old days the same. I'm sorry. I just don't. I said, I surely one of a hundred doesn't have the stank of Johnson and Johnson Band-Aids. I always forget to this shit, regret this year. But last week on the show, I was talking about World Cup fans. And I said the international soccer fans, I believe. But when I see an American cheering and crying over Team USA, I said, it might, it's not true, but I said I have the feeling that they are merely. pretending because that's the way that a soccer fan is supposed to act and I don't believe, I've invalidated their emotions.

Posers. Poser douchebags. Yeah. Now, I, I've done this, this, I don't like it when it's done in return. I've had people look at my face and say, Tim, your beloved band geese is a sci-op and they're an industry plan. And I cried when they told me that. But with Miss Cowell, like, you know, all these like these like smart guys, these, like, these like liquor guys that know so much about everything,

they just, all they do is swap everything from Mescal. You know, you could swap that. I know, I know. I'd rather die. I'd rather die. I fucking know. Oh, then at your funeral instead of a coffin, you could use Mescal. I don't want to do that.

I don't want that. You want to dunk my bones in that? I've already said in my will, I want to be cremated in a big bong. Oh, we need to figure out this sort of, uh, our, yeah, our last will and testament for the LLC. We should do that on the podcast, yeah. Yeah. On the blowout.

I would leave you guys a lot of my stuff. I don't know if you're interested in any of my stuff, but I got a nice reverend guitar right there. Dibs. That's pretty nice. Do you got any badger beves? Uh, yeah, I'll take mine back that's there. I'll, yeah, you get Tim, Mike, you can have yours back. Tim's already got my amp so he can have my guitar.

to go with my... I'll take that I'll take that Ninja Turtle game so I can finally you can get rid of it. It's time. Over my dead body. Oh, well, in this case, that works.

Jeff, I've had your amp in my home for years and I've been telling everyone I play a Fender Twin Reverb. And then recently on an email, you mentioned you were like, yeah, I haven't happened... What kind of... It's a Fender Ultimate Chorus. Shit.

I gotta stop. I gotta stop telling people that I have a Fender Twin in reverb and start telling people I have a Fender ultimate chorus. And I also got to admit to them that I don't own it. It's merely just in my home. Don't tell anyone about this. Don't bring in this up anymore. By the way, I love, there's nothing better. Like, space is at a premium when you're, when you're renting an apartment or you're in a city or something like that. If somebody has a better use for or more space for a thing that you own, this arrangement of just like,

it's mine. It just lives with Tim. It's like, you know, I got Rose and stocks synthesizer. It's not mine, but it's going to live with me for a while. It's a great arrangement. It's fucking awesome. I got stuff like that. You know what's a funny one? When I bought my 2002 Ford Thunderbird V8 engine

250 horsepower, I there's a hard top for it. There's a red hard top with like porthole, circular windows and shit. I left it up in Burbank at the like it was like one of these like special auto dealers for a tiny place that only had like 10 cars.

And I was like, I don't have room for this. Can I, uh, I'll leave this year for now and I'll come back and get it? And he was like, yeah. And now it's been nine years and I never went back and got it. I got to go confront that motherfucker. You should go back and be like, and make a huge deal by like, all right, where is it? I need it now. The people probably don't even like that.

Okay, shit it. Time to pay the piper. Or just or really casual. I haven't seen him in nine years. Hey, I'm just grabbing my hard top. Where is it? What? grabbing my heart top. What color are you? Red. Yeah, that's right over here.

Well, let's take it back to the drink. For round two, what you doing? For me, I'm doing less. I'm going to do the ounce and a half and I'm going to decorate it with a little lime juice and tahine if I have it. I'm going to see what I have in terms of the clear liquors and maybe add a bitter dash. Ooh, you got any orange bitters? I do. Those are nice. I kind of really love this drink and I don't have any ideas to improve it so I might just add a curiosity swap I'll see if I have Mascala

and then I'll try that because I'm having such an open heart right now All right folks we're going to make round two when we come back Final thoughts on the lime cucumber With tequila drink Back with round two I didn't have any tahine

I'm sorry to say But I put in a little squirt of lime juice There we go. My God, that's good. My God. Ooh, even with the less booze. Ooh, the cucumber, it shines. The cucumber.

This is with the vodka, it's not as good. It's just doesn't pop as much. Really? The bitters. You don't get that of agave singing. Well, yeah, it's, you know, it's just like a vodkay taste of the back. But the bitters were okay. The bitters kind of fun. I like the ridge. You know what it could be good is I have celery bitters and I feel like celery, cucumber,

lime. There's something there. I did find some mescal and I made it this way and it's like, you know, as much as I just talked to enormous shit, it's, you know, that doesn't taste bad. But I will say there's not this synergistic alchemy I was talking about. I can, I'm tasting Gatorade than there's little cigarettes on the back end. But you know what I think could be great. Cigarettes have to do this. I didn't do it for my round two,

so maybe I'll do it for my, in my personal life. I've got a bottle of very herbaceous gin that Neil Campbell gave me that's like the type of mass gin. It's like, it's, I don't really use it for martinis, but I love it in gin and tonics or like other gin, you're hinton. of course.

I feel like that would be really good in this. Is a junipery botanical. Yes. Yes. Because this is a trip through the garden in a way. It's a trip through the fucking garden. It should be called a garden trip. Ooh, a garden trip, dude.

Amass dry gin is a premium of Los Angeles crafted spirit. Nice and fresh. Okay. Final thoughts. Mike, hit me with them. This is an order again. This is a fun. This is a nice.

surprise order again. I was, who knew what this was going to be? Who knew what the flavor of Gatorade and cucumber lime Gatorade was going to be? I mean, I had an idea. I feel like I've tried Gatorade as a mixer before and didn't like it. I don't like LaCroixirate as a mixer. I don't like Gatorade as a mixer, but for whatever reason this works.

Gatorade in general, it's got a weird, I never knew how to describe it. Water has it worked. But it's like, Gatorade has this like taste that has a weird, it's not even a chemically aftertaste. Yeah, it's thin. It's thin. It's weird. But anyway, this is a nice surprise, and it's an O-A for me.

Timothy, submit your feelings to the Pentaverit. The Mike Myers series of the Pentower? Yes. This works great. This is fantastic. The only thing holding it back from being a sensation is it needs a name. I don't think that Mexican water hazard is the way. Do you?

No. No. So are we just calling this episode lime cucumber gatorade and tequila that won't get a drink of the summer, but this is drink of the summer kind of material. It is. Can we just call it a gatorita? It's sort of taken with, we could call it like cucumber gatorita. Cucumber lime gatorita.

How about that? Right. But lime is implied in Eda in the in the rita. Oh, yeah, yeah. cucumber Gatorita Gatorita would be the

lemon lime Gatorade and tequila like what Gabor's drinks but then also seems to exist on the internet elsewhere lime cucumber Gatorita but lime is

implied in the margarita part right? Can you just say cucumber Gatorita? Yeah but lime is implied okay I see what you're saying

It's hard It's hard. It's hard How well known is Gatorita as a property. Not very. Not known to me.

We've been doing a podcast for five years, us three guys, and none of us had, yeah, heard it or it didn't stick. Shit. That's what, and there's not a definitive,

I'm Googling it now, and there's not like a definitive, you know, I'm seeing people that are putting triple second there still, not necessary, you know. Yeah, right.

I don't know, Jeff, when you name the episode, you better come up with something good, man. You better come up with a zinger. We believe in you, Jeff. We believe in you. You and Mieland put your heads together and come up with them real good. Folks, it's an order again. It's kind of an order again and again. You know, it's not a stone cold classic.

With the right name, it could be. Now, I just am perplexed by the whole world of Gatorade because when Gatorial Gatorade came out, everybody was like, oh, it's cool. It's healthy. It's a sports drink. And then people were like, well, there's a lot of sugar in there for a sports drink. And they were like, okay, okay, okay, okay. Gatorade zero. Okay, okay, okay. And then all the, all the like, uh, pediolites came out. And, and it was like, oh, these hydrate. And Gatorade was like, well, we do that too. It was like, well, what were you doing before? If you're not hydrating. I feel like they called out Gatorade. The Gatorade's going to do whatever the fuck Gatorade wants to do because they're the fucking big dick dogs of the fucking sports drink Are you defending them? I wasn't really listening to what you were saying It was boring the fuck out of me

What's the difference between these new age hydrators An old school Gatorade? I see this is really taking with you guys No, no, I don't know Jeff. I wanted to talk about the Curacao soccer team last week And nah, we didn't really talk about that, did we? That shit sucks You know what this reminds me?

It's like Skype was around forever, and then when we really needed them for some reason, we didn't go to them, we went to Zoom. And I feel like the Gatorade has been there for us, our whole life. We love it. And then when you wake up with a really bad hangover, can I have a liquid IV? No, folks.

Drink your Gatorade and like it. No, no. I'm that guy that he's making fun of folks. I love Liquid Ivy. I love those shit. And it works for you every time? Every time. It does?

Every time. I don't think it really worked for me. I don't need to look for liquid IV is the thing. I have them. All I need is water. And if I can get enough spit, I don't even need water. You know, we haven't talked about on this podcast, but this drink kind of reminds me of is this fucking guy. Do you guys ever see on Instagram Johnny Sips?

no very very big Instagram account right now well why are we big we haven't really dipped in this world we got a collab with him he's out in a parking lot and he makes drinks that are all sort of like it'll be like a nip of alcohol in like a soda you know where he's like combining it's kind of carcoural stuff but it's it's more like 7-11 parking lot type of this sounds way trashier than what we're doing and he's got the numbers but we'll take a look at him He's leaning into the trashiness. And it's sort of like, it'll be like, what's that stuff you squirt into water for flavor? Mio.

Moxie? Mio. That was, we used that for something. Yeah, we did that. Oh, for for. Orgs. That's right. He's got a powdery thing like that.

And he'll be mixing up a drink that's like, you know, a fireball nip and, I know, two kinds of soda and a little pinch of some powder. And he's blown up huge. Maybe this is the world week. This summer we should explore these kind of parking lot cocktails. I'm going to call them. Ooh. That's fun. That's our show.

Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, Patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. We're to talk to you about what's already out there. Folks, this week, we're leaning into the dirt bag. What do we say? Leaning into the, you just said it. Parking lot? Yeah, anyway, there was some adjective that would have done nicely.

Scuzzy? We're leaning into like the trashy parking lotness with sublime self-titled, celebrating its what 30th anniversary this year? Yes, and it's also fresh in our minds because sublime with Bradley's son, Jacob, the new version of Sublime, just dropped their first original album. So we've got Sublime on the, sublime on the brain. We'll listen to a love that too. We'll talk about that.

That's an interesting move. very... It's all happening behind the paywall. Patreon.com slash the sloppy boys, folks. We love to see you, folks. We love to see you here

listening on the RSS. We love it even more to see you live in person at shows, drinking too much, bumping, grinding, texting your ex. Ordering a piss and shit. How great is it that also back to back? We went from the Great Gatsby

and the Fitzgerald to Sublime and the Lime Cucumber Gator. Ticula. What other podcast does that. It's what culture starts here. The Fish Gerald, fantastic. I know Tim, you've made a whole cause of the gin sour.

And you're right to do it. That's a good drink. Thank you. And I'm a great guy. Good episode, guys. See you next week. Peace. See you, folks.

Welcome to Maccabee's Medical Monday. Today it's all about this, the cucumber. Or as they call it in Jamaica, Cucumba. Cucumba. Cucumba. Vitamins, minerals, very high number, silica, hear and nails get longer, other vitamins make your bones them stronger, anti-wrinkle make you look younger, 95% water, kidney cleanser, great hydrator, detox

fibre, good regulator, your body good things, don't be a cheater, get the cucumber, cut it in a slice, put it in a jug of water overnight, you know what you get for a fraction of the price? Energy drink full of electrolyte, roaring salad is one of the use, as a base for a base your vegetable juice. Another surprise for a slice on your eyes. Take away the dryness. Revitalize. Oh yes. One thing I have left, Cucumba can also help with bad breath. Wash where the bacteria that cause the order. Cucumbia water instead of soda. I'm not a medical Monday. Cucumba!