The Sloppy Boys - 299. Berry Pie

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

Hanford unleashes his latest project upon his good-natured co-hosts.BERRY PIE RECIPE:2oz/60ml ABSOLUT VANILIA .5oz/15ml CREME DE CASSIS.5oz/15ml SIMPLE SYRUP Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a martini glass rimmed with strawberry syrup and crushed graham crackers.Recipe via Mike HanfordWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, it's captivating pop star Dutz with a sexy summer announcement. I'm hitting the road this June and July, opening for superstar musical comedian slash comedic musician Kenny Gray, performing a string of special live shows across America. Come bear witness to the full psychosexual autobiographical journey of homemade pop sensation Dutz. July 10th in Seattle at Barbosa. and July 11th in Chicago at Subterranean. Feel the thrilling highs at lusty lows of the nightlife. You've never seen Dutz like this.

DUSS. Don't miss the performance of a lifetime. Kenny Gray with special guests, Duts. Tickets on sale now. Hey folks, this is Tim Kelpacchus from the Sloppy Boys. I know what you're thinking. Hey, I'm going to sit at home all summer long and listen to a fucking podcast on my phone. Wrong. You're going to see the sloppy boys party rock band play a loud rock and roll show in your town.

Toronto, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cleveland, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Chicago. That's right, I'm talking Toronto, July 15th at Drake Underground. Buffalo, July 16th at the wreck room. Pittsburgh, July 17th, bottle rocket social hall. Detroit, July 19th, that's Smalls. Cleveland, July 20th at Beachland Tavern. St. Louis. July 21st at Blueberry Hill, Duckroom.

That's over there in University City. Minneapolis. July 22nd, Zora Darling. And Chicago, we're closing it out there at Improv Olympic I-O-Fest on July 23rd. Hey, folks, isn't it crazy what's going out of this town? Come on out and have some fun for once in your whole fucking life, okay, folks. Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.

Yo. And Tim Calpacquez? What is up? Oh, and where are your host of Sloppy Boys hitting the fucking road these days? Yep. Moving. Folks, come out and see us in the middle. Midwest on our summer tour, but you may have also, some of you in, I don't know, for maybe perhaps

even New York or Philly, I already saw Duts on the road. How's it going out there, Jay? Duss. Duts, fresh from the road. What could we expect? We haven't been on the road summer 2026. You have. Well, Mike, you've done doughboys in Bang Bang.

Tim hasn't been on the road in summer 2026. That's the vibe. Any blue dot team? We went on the road. We went to Knoxville, Nashville, Nashville, and Atlanta. We just got back. That wasn't summer, though. That was April.

That's true. It was Memorial Day weekend. I still don't know if we're going to rule that the end of spring or the beginning of summer. That's still spring. That's going to be spring. So you are a road dog spring-wise, but summer, yes, you have not scratched it yet. Tim, it's nice out there. You're going to love it.

Yeah. Okay, good. Now, Tim, I'm sure you get packed a lot of thick jeans and long-sleeve shirts. You're not actually going to want those on the road. Not this time. What the fuck? You're going to cut your, your, your, bundle Tim in half because you're going to be losing the sleeves, the legs of the pants.

We go to, what's our first show, Toronto? You guys just help me cut off all the legs of my pants and the sleeves off my shirt. Tim, if we had it our way, you'd be wearing a thong, okay? Yeah, if we had it our way. By the way, Jeff and I tell you we're starting a prank show where we get you into a thong. You actually remind me of You remind me of the CKY guys, which we discussed

on this week's blow at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. We talked CKY2K. Wow. Check it out, folks. CKY2K. Bernadette near. It's a good one because we all saw

the jackass latest jackass movie. So we'll discuss that just a little bit. But then we really get into. to the, it's a good convo. This is, this is something, I won't say too much, but it's right in our wheelhouse. Yes, but let's focus on the main show,

the less good show, but the main show. Yes, it's not as good. Right now, the main feed cocktail show. Let's slog through for them. Yeah, let's put on the pads and just slog through, bang this one out and get fucking out of here and really talk about the cool stuff. Can I tell you guys about

since I haven't been on the road, I've been back home being sort of a neighborhood guy. I want to hear about a big, I like to post my Ws. I'd never post my L's. I want to hear about a big local win for me in Los Fields recently? Yeah.

Now, I went to my local liquor store and back when we did our Ounderberg episode, those little tiny German D.J. Steves and little papery bottles you drink after dinner to settle your stomach. when we did that episode this winter, I went to Hillhurst Lickers and asked the guy,

the guy that owns the place is great. He's kind of an older, I'm going to say Russian guy. He didn't have them, but he's like, what is it? And I spelled it to him and he was like, I can order them. And I was like, great.

And I ended up buying them. I'm expecting a liquor store to have the liquor I want. I forget where I. I ended up getting, Jeff, I think you gave him to me or something or we found a box or him. No, not me. Anyway, this guy ordered him just and I was like, I'm going to get him. And I felt some, you know, if a small business owner adds an item to the inventory for it for you, it's a lot of pressure.

You want to. That's on you, man. That's on you. You got to buy him. So I went back. You're either going to buy 36 or hope that other people start lining up. I go back a couple days later. They came like the next day.

It was crazy. and he had him right on the counter, the display with the little papery bottles, and I bought a couple. And he had told me, okay, I think there's like 30, maybe like 30 in a little display that you put on your counter. But he had gotten a shipment. They come with a box, with several boxes, so it's 120 of them in there. And when I walk in, he goes, Mr. Ounderberg.

And he makes a joke that I work for the Ounderberg family. and I'm just trying to get places to order Ounderberg for my estate. But for a while, like, I was always buying two. I felt a little guilty. I'd buy three, four. And then I'd be like, I'd ask them, like, are they selling? And he'd be like, yeah, people are buying them. And then I go back there the other day after a long absence.

Fresh coat of paint. New scent in the air. New coat of paint on my face, too. He's got other people working. He's dressed in. like a linen suit and sung ass. I was like, hey, just kind of meeting and greeting. He's screaming at them because he's a mean billionaire now.

It's a billion. I go up to the counter and I see the pack there is pretty fresh, pretty full, so I assume he kind of opened it recently. So I was like, oh, okay, just made it through some more boxes. How are these

selling? He's like, oh, they're selling. It's funny because he's still pissed because he just doesn't like, he doesn't like the word. He doesn't like having them there. So even when selling it's like rolling his eyes but making money well because he doesn't know what they are and he's like people he he's like he he's like he they're very eye-catching so people always ask about him but um i was like so how many of you bought and he's like i have ordered our fourth shipment wow their fourth delivery of 120 wow wow so that's selling more than the other little counter items i'm telling

that's pretty good he should make you you a partner, Tim. This podcast. Yeah, he should, you should, uh, you should get like a free one a week. A little. I know. Instead, he just tells me this selling and that it's, it bothers, it pissing them off. And well, I think the problem is maybe like 400 and something of the, like, say he sold

480. I think that like 10,000 people have looked at them and been like, what are these? So it's kind of like a annoyance for him. Uh, what that would be, uh, I had that I, idea and you guys poo-puted, but I had that idea of, hey, he keeps selling these things. You came up with a great idea. You get all the caps, you know, or whatever. And then send them in, you get the jumpsuit, the underberg jumpsuit. He would get the caps from the customers. Oh, yeah, right, right, right, right. Or we sell them capless. I take the caps. They want to take the caps first.

There's got to be, yeah, just stick little ends of Q-tips. Wait, there's got to be like on the box, like, you call. put out like a, you know, the big, I don't know, maybe not, shit. I'll tell you, the bar by me, I get free Underbergs because they know me. What? How about that? That's what I'm thinking. I wanted Tim to have having because he's helping them.

But, no, not to take home. You say that as if I just didn't bring it up. You know, they give them to me for free. But, Mike, I like that does nothing for you. You're like, oh, Jeff's getting for free. I want Tim to get him for free. But, you know, you make yourself, you make yourself a regular. then you're sitting down.

It's a quiet night. And then the bartenders are like, yeah, we're doing an Underberg. You want one? Jeffie gets one. I love that. Jeff, can I tell you

where I get them for free? Quite frequently? Where? Red Lion and a dinner. They're coming out. They don't even have to make a deal of it anymore. Timmy's got to digest. They know you.

Like, they know you over there by name, right? Jeff, do they know you by name over it? What you're talking about? Oh, sure. Oh, sure. That's cool.

I don't think. I've only had that one time at birds. But with Tim, they probably, they're probably afraid of what might happen if Tim doesn't digest. This man has had four ham hawks. Where is he? Where is he? They're tearing through. He's not in the back little room. I didn't see him on the patio.

He's going to blow if he doesn't digest that. He's full of shank. He's full of shank. You got to be careful. Getting deep into that German menu, folks. Be careful. All right. You want to get to some booze news.

Bib, Bib, Buz news. hit it. And Jay-Z was in the table next to me. He was like, in the booth next to me, he was like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 99 cocktails piss and shit ain't one. If you're having cocktails, I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 cocktails, piss and shit ain't one.

Hit me. Shit boy. You crazy for this one, Rick. Boo Z was sent to us by Rick Tapper. And if you have a booze news theme, email it to the Slobby Boys podcast.com. Tapper. Tapper.

You crazy for that. one tap. Tap into the tapper. We would have to listen to that one again because I couldn't tell Jay does like the piss and shit or he's got 90-9

on cocktails but a piss and shit isn't one? Yeah. Uh-oh. Can we just do it? That's a short one. Can we just do it again? Yeah, yeah.

And Jay Z was in the table next to me he was like in the booth next to me. He was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh. 99 cocktails. Piss and shit ain't one. If you're having cocktails, I feel bad for you, son.

I got 99. Piss and shit, one, hippie. Shit boy. You crazy for this one, Rick. If you having cocktails. All right, it's internally consistent. He picked a thing and stuck to it. That's good.

Nice job, Tapper. Nice job, Tapper. Maybe we switch it, though, into, I got 99 problems. Piss and shit is one. 99 cocktails, I mean. I mean, that's what I mean to say. I do like that he said,

if you're having cocktails, I feel bad for your son. so he doesn't like cocktails, I guess. Yeah, this is confusing Jay-Z. He should re-record. Yeah, all of our songs that we make here, they make perfect sense. That's very true.

I would love to have Jay-Z on this pod. Do you think we'd do numbers if Jay-Z was on this? Probably. I mean... Probably. He's a pretty popular guy. When we have Neil Camelon, Vrain Gillespie, John Gableson, we do numbers.

Sean Carter. John Carter. by John Carter, yeah, probably. He's doing a special series on HBO with Rick Rubin. Did you see that? No, what are they doing? Like a former producer legend, current tech bro. Yeah.

Rick Rubin. They doing a sketch show? Yep. The tech bro sketch show. The tech bro sketch show. There was a minute where like Kanye West was going to have a, or wanted to do a sketch show. A curb-type show. And he had.

He shot an HBO pilot. Oh, really? Well, I want to see that. I bet it's weird. It's curb style. Besser taught him improv. Yeah, it's where it's, I want to say that that's how we know about it. Besser played his limo driver or something like that because they wanted.

I've seen a little snippet, but no Besser. Okay, boo's news. This is a wonderful experience that I went out and had this past Saturday night that I can relay to you guys. We talked about it. I tried it once and I whiffed. But this time I had a successful. trip to the Santa Monica Promenade hospitality zone.

Oh, you're walking with the top off. The zone where anything goes. The zone where anything goes. Folks, the law was passed last summer that we have a little tiny open container alcohol out in the street type zone. As if Santa Monica is the Vegas strip.

It is kind of in a way. Yeah. I was placing a lot of bets on polymarket. But yeah, last time you were there, it was like you mentioned people that were like, oh, yeah, that was a thing that happened here. Is it still happening? Like, people weren't taking advantage of it. And they didn't care.

And a local was telling me to go to the British pub, but the British pub was not part of it. It was a mess. But basically, this was Saturday night at 9 p.m. So if it ain't happen to now that time, then in the summertime. Right. When people are out in the best of the summer time. Peak season.

Peak hours peak season. Last time you were there, it was like fall or January or something. Wasn't it? Yes. And I was there too late on a Friday night, which still pissed me off. That's right. But 9 p.m. Saturday, I roll, this is a good crew. We were getting me and Mookiee.

We're out getting dinner with Nick Weiger. Oh, wow. Hey. Friend of the pod from our. Arnold Palmer episode. How'd you lure him outdoors? Well, we went to Santa Monica where he where he dwells.

So we had dinner at Che J, but then we were like, okay, let's go see this promenade. And yes, it worked. We go up to Barney's Beinerie. You show your ID, they give you a wristband. You ask for your drink in a to-go cup. And it is not any sort of labeled special Santa Monica cup. It is just like a clear solo low cup that anyone could buy.

So you could probably be pouring your own drinks out there if you really wanted to. Uh-oh. And there is a zone. It's a fixed little zone from Broadway to Wilshire, which is not very much. It's a fixed little zone. But it's our zone. It only includes, I want to say three bars. It's just Barney's Beannery, Cabo Cantina, and maybe this other Mexican restaurant.

But it's funny. no one else was doing it and we did it just to do it. I got a beer, those guys got Hugo Spritzes, we walk and then no, we're the only, A, also, we didn't see any cops like monitoring or anything,

but it's just an empty mall. The place is very sleepy. Dang. Some people eat at the other canteen or whatever, but like no one's really shopping because it's a lot of like mall stores at that point. Damn.

This is a problem of like marketing. I feel like the word isn't out or they're not labeling it clearly. They should put paint on the ground that says, like, put a big rectangle on the ground. And it says, like, you can drink in here, but not out there. Right. Or something.

Well, that's what's the weirdest thing. Then we got to the end of it, which was we walked north to Wilshire. And Weiger just knew because he had read. He's like, okay, this is the end. Let's turn around. But I would have crossed Wilshire and gotten arrested if he hadn't said that. Like, there's, there were no signs.

It's like they really don't want you to know. I feel like probably the locals, like this was law was passed to try to spark business, but then I feel like oldies that live around there were pulling some nimbie shit and said, like let's not publicize it. Yeah. Santa Monica is kind of known, not as bad as like Beverly Hills, but, or, yeah, Beverly Hills. But it's known for kind of being like, hey, we're, you know, rich stuff out here. Let's make sure our nice little area is nice.

And it's funny because it's rich and sleepy. It's not boozy. It's sort of like wealthy guys who surf twice a year. Strike two against the silver community down there. I got to go down there. Damn, that's too bad there, too. That is really funny that you went back and it just like isn't taking. And it wasn't a fluke night the other night or it was a fluke night the other night or whatever.

And it just kind of was like, yeah, nobody cares. And I think that you got to be only I am really excited about it. like the other guys were sort of like, okay. And then other friend of the pod, Eva Anderson from our garden party episode, she lives out in Santa Monica. So she came and met up. And by the time we got there,

I was like, we could walk with her drinks. And they were all like, when I go to Barneys, and we just went and sat inside. Even when we were allowed to be outside. It just felt like we were only just doing it just because there was nowhere to walk to or nothing to do out there. Yeah, there's like the fun excitement stuff is like in the bar

where there's music and lights. What was the Barney scene like? Is it all turned up? Not for Saturday night. No, it's like, why not? The people that are there are a little rowdy, but I mean, there's less than 20 people in this bar. I thought we heard that they were having a 4100-esque rebirth down there.

That is the WeHo one. Okay. There's just a two, right? No, there's one in Westwood by UCLA as well. But those are the two, right? Or no? I think only the Wiiho one is having a TikTok renaissance and is a cool place for young people to go clubbing. Sad.

Jeez, we saw Rab himself there once. In the soup Nazi. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that over the blood out. Oh, I got some booze news here for actually, before I get to my main booze news, have you guys had the soft serve margarita yet? Still no. No. I was able to find it wasn't the margarita.

It was the espresso martini soft serve. And it was very good. It was at, oh, shoot, what's the name of it? It's like the chain that's like. Boosy, boosy, tipsy twist. Tipsy icees or something. Yeah, yeah. But I went in and the guy, I was like, hey, do you have those?

Tipsy scoop. tipsy scoop. Do you have a soft serve margarita? And the guy was like, oh, sorry we don't. But we only have espresso martin. Like, that's fine. But you said it in a way that made it sound like, oh, everyone wants that or I'm disappointing you.

I was like, oh, no, the machine's broken or something. And I just got myself a little sample and tried it. It was good. It really, it would just taste like airy chocolate ice cream with not really a booze taste to it. So that's pretty... No booze kick. Not chocolate.

coffee-ish. Coffee-e. I wonder. Remember when we talked about it a couple weeks so we were like, that place is a pre-existing chain that does this kind of thing. So I feel like their version of it,

I wouldn't be surprised if it's like less boozy than the other shit. But was it, but did it like pile up though the way that soft serve is like, you know, ice cream that like did it come to a little point? Yeah, yeah. It like had some like stiffness to. Yeah, so it's not a slurpy or slushy.

It's a, it's, no, no, I ate it with a spoon. Had to. It's kind of like the, uh, the booze you get at the Taco Bell can'tina where it's like, yeah, you can totally have, um, 1.49 ounces of tequila or rum in your, in your giant ass fast food mountain deal. Yeah, you can't taste it. Um, it's also like, there's a world, uh, I guess I should bring some of it into booze news, but, uh, there have been some alcohol gummies on the scene now, kind of like, like, like,

THC, but with alcohol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you know, if you, if one gummy equaled one beer, then great. But it's like, no, it's like a whole pack of gummies is. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it would be funny if one gummy was one beer. You just ate a handful in the. I just had fucking 25 beers, man.

I feel like, shit. Also, with these soft served margaritas, I'm excited. I'm going to go seek them out. But, um, it's funny like, if, If you go there and they're like, nah, the machines down or whatever. We've just backed ourselves into, like this is the meme of McDonald's. McDonald's. This soft serve machine.

So now we just have a bunch of grumpy bartenders that have to deal with a machine that's always down. Why they was breaking? Or is it that people don't want to deal with it. Are they? I think they don't want to deal with it. Oh, okay. Is it like a hard thing to make? I think if you work at McDonald's, you like, when someone orders ice cream, you just say,

machines down. Yeah, right. It's just down. Well, that was my first little bit, but I've got some other booze news. Jeff, it comes to us in track form. I went on a little trip to play my trek jibby. Here we go. He's out and about.

Yes, Hanford's out and about. It's Hanford out and about. Okay, Slop Nation. The Handman is in Philadelphia at the World Cup. match number 55, Curacao against the Ivory Coast, aka Cote d'I. Hanford! Well, we've introduced the teams. There's a bunch of flags coming out, flags of both countries coming out. And oh, we've also got, oh, they're gonna unravel some really big flags.

All right, we're gonna hear some national anthems that I've never heard before, and here we go. Hey,ford. Okay, as you can tell, the... The vibe is amped. We are ready for these two huge soccer forces to go at it one-on-one, or rather 11-on-11. All right, check back in with you guys soon. This is a wild vibe here. It's so fun.

There's been crazy music. I got here about an hour early. I just been bopping around. I drank a beer with some guys in the parking lot. They were tailgating and they said, hey, what a beard. I said, okay. So I had some of that. I had to buy a clear, big, clear bag to get in here because the security made me do it.

And, all right, I'll check back in. Hanford. He's out and about. Yes, Hanford's out and about. It's Hanford. Out and above. Hanford. All right.

That was my little trip. It ended abruptly because I ran out of my battery ran out, so I didn't have any more to do. It sucked. Wait, you went to Philly and went to a World Cup game? I took the train, the Amtrak to Philly, went to the game, and took the Amtrak right home. Wow.

How did your beloved Curacao do? Oh, to our beloved Curisow. They're the team of the-Tik. Curisout is the official football club of the sloppy boys LLC. shit that's i forgot about that they unfortunately lost uh two nothing and they're out of the tournament they they lost their first game seven to one against germany and then tied to zero zero ecuador and then lost two nothing so they had one goal to tournament people don't expect them to come back uh in any more world cups but i believe i think they're going to be back strong

uh it's going to be a lot of fun the thing that kills me about this kurosau team is that i ordered a jersey and a couple days after i got home from the uh event, I got an email from the company saying a shipping package, or shipping label had been printed. So they're at least getting it moving. Oh, wow. Congrats, Mike. It's fucking Hormuz. Now a shirt needs to be woven.

Yeah. Oh, man. If the Hormuz straight was open, that would have been coming. Oh, it's a supply chain thing. Now, Mike, when you're watching these Currisout players and they're playing soccer, do they seem sort of like they're a little tipsy and they have blue tongues and their upper lips are blue and they've been choking?

Their first, the first play they did was everyone fell down face first on the field and kind of puked. That's no good. No, it was really fun. I know nothing really about soccer, but seeing all the people in the jerseys and like there was one section

that was just all Curisov fans and that was kind of cool. I got a question. Yes, please. When they make you get a clear plastic bag to put all of your belongings in. Do you get to check the backpack you came with? Or did you have to toss some baggy?

It's, it's such a, it's one of those things like, fuck, if I had only known this, I would have gotten one for two cents somewhere. But I ended up buying one from a guy selling for like 20 bucks. No, I had my little like shoulder sling thing on, whatever that's called. And then just dumped everything in this plastic bag and then also put that thing in the bag. It's just like everything was in there.

It's one of those things We're like I'm sure that's more popular And big sporting events that I don't go to Or big concerts or something But it'd phone me out I mean Dodger Stadium does it But everyone there seems to arrive prepared But I would

Like they know yeah There's a lot of people had them There's got to be like ladies coming in With a Louis Vuitton bag And then they're pissed the fuck off Yeah right Yeah I went to Universal Studio City Walk to go see

I love boosters And they had the whole team to say they had like the whole wand they had the whole wand down and you put the bags through like the the thing it was crazy that's like a new thing that i guess they're doing at that that seems like it's a it's like a a thing for the boosters movie because it's about like stealing yeah right it's like that'd be funny it was like just to get into that theater not the whole place it was like we know who we're appealing to with this movie um uh oh the other the last thing i'll say about the uh world cup that was fun was

the national anthems. Like, I'd never heard Cote d'Avore or Carasas national anthem before. Why would I? You hadn't. It's really funny hearing national anthems that you never heard because you're like, you're like, oh, there's a genre of national anthem music. It's like, like, Cote d'Ivore kind of sounded maybe French, because I think there's, some people were speaking French,

so they might have a, that might be a thing. And, but it just sounded like, oh, that sounds like anthemic music. or like a big like, right. Like I wonder if if all the anthems were written around the same time or if you started a new country

right now, 2026 and you had needed to come up with an anthem, would it be like Bapabababab Bap. No. You get Jack Antinoff to do it.

That's how you make a head anthem. Right. But you're right. It's like when when countries in Europe were formed and came up with national anthems or wherever. And then like the U.S.

that was still like way, way long ago. So it does feel like these newer countries, which I assume they, I don't know when these countries started, but it would seem like, oh yeah, we need to make an anthem. What's an anthem-meet type sound? Hey, did you guys ever hear

the national anthem of Monaco? I did. I think I actually have it right here. Oh, hit it. Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the national. National Anthem of Monaco. That's an anthem.

That's very funny. You know what's kind of embarrassing in retrospect? I was a guy in my 20s, especially my early 20s, I didn't even, there was no chance I was going to read the news. You know, like news either made its way to me or simply didn't. So therefore I was less informed, which will happen if you don't ever read any words. The good stuff will come to me. But so I wrote that sketch that was like, hey, because I had heard at the Olympic that Monaco was the smallest country to ever participate at the time. And then so I was like, it would be funny of this tiny little shitty little country.

It had this shitty little theme. So I wrote that comedy sketch where I'm standing on a podium. We made that song. We laughed. I didn't know that Monaco is like a rich destination for billionaires and it's like the most lavish place. It's like small and exclusive because it's for billionaires. Oh yeah. Monaco is like, where is Monaco?

It's like on the Riviera. It's like French Riviera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of Monte Cristo. So I had no context. The word was new to me. Oh, the good thing is nobody in that. them new either. So thank God.

You're safe. I was just looked up on the Ivory Coast National Anthem was written in 1960 and Kurosau was 1898 at Sunday sort of gotten started in 1930s the modern melody. Interesting genre. So the 1960s, Mike, this was

the hippies, man. This would have been acid rock. Shit, man. I think early out, oh, let me just read, continue reading the Wikipedia. Oh yeah, this is what I thought. Hendricks wrote the melody. And then he lit it on fire.

It doesn't say who, just Hendricks. Hendricks did it, baby. Is that it for booze news? That's all I got. Wrap it up. Mewan, do it. Oh, yeah. And with that out of the way,

the main event is on. The drink of the day, the reason you all tuned in. The main event. This is an interesting one too, folks. This was one we created, I think at Jeff's house, we started talking about somewhere. We were eating, we were drinking something. We said, hey, this feels like a berry pie. Maybe a berry pie.

Today, folks, we're doing the cocktail, the new cocktail, the berry pie. You might not have had it yet, folks. It's brand new. This thing just hit the streets. Folks, these two haven't even had a berry pie, okay? That's not fucking new. You're very generous to say, we, this was the thing you came up with and you, have been in the test

kitchen mixing with the test tubes and the beakers and the buns and burners. Well, you know, I said we because I'm coming off the World Cup madness. I'm still involved in it actually and it's such a we, yeah, Curacao almost did it. We almost did it.

I kept saying. We almost did it. I kept saying. Well, yes. So this came out, I forget where it came up, but it's something I've been teasing and saying, oh yeah, we got to come up with this. I got to figure it out. It's the berry pie, which is just perfectly situated in the summer months here in July. Don't you think, Jeff?

Oh, yeah. I think so, too. There's really no history other than I came up with it. It just shot into my brain, I guess. Tim says I came up with it, so good. He's the memory man. Jeff is the blonde man. There we go, the berry pie.

Two ounces, absolute vanilla. Half ounce crem de cassis. That was half ounce crem de cassis. Half ounce simple syrup. And the method, shake on ice, pour into a gram cracker strawberry syruped rimmed martini glass. Wow. You're going to do there. You're going to take the strawberry syrup,

you know the kind you make strawberry chocolate milk or strawberry milk out of. Yeah, folks. Hold on, hold on, Mike. Yes. Folks, you probably already have this. You know what you make strawberry milk with. This is my most resented purchase on the pod. Let me guess, Jeff, didn't have a good experience buying this.

Oh, boy. Go ahead. Okay, we're keeping, we are keeping the attitude positive as we try a new drink. Yes, yes, yes. So you're really, you know, you use it the, so any crush up, you crush those gram crackers up and rim it up just like you would have. sawroom. It's interesting. Now, here's the option. You know, a hand for drink, always going to have that option. Whip cream option. Now, I do what you can with this. I made one already to test it out. And the whipped cream, it gets, I just did a little dollop on the top, you know, and it just kind of

separated pretty quickly and it's pretty nasty. So it's, that's something we got to figure out. Do you want to start with it or should that be like a round two? I say start with it, but I would advise to do just like if you can get like a, some of it on the rim rather than just like plopped in there. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Do whatever you want. So folks, the rim has strawberry syrup, gram cracker, and whipped cream.

Do it your best. Now we are, now we are staying positive here. Yeah. I was told. Okay. Okay. So whipped cream around the. rim. Now my question, well, actually, this is more directed to the listener. They might be thinking,

absolute vanilla vodka. What the, where would, why would he? Actually, folks, the porn star martini uses this stuff. So that's why we have it in stock. And that's a very popular drink. So bars do have it. And now crem de cassis, you may know from when we did the cure or the cure royale. It's, I believe it's black current, right? But there's also, there's crem d'emdumour. which is in a bramble and then there's shamboard. Oh, shamboard's the bramble, but. Oh. And I personally find those,

uh, I switched those out pretty, pretty easily. I had crem, they're all berry. They're all dark purple berries. I think, I think if,

if you have, because Jeff, I know you like the, um, Bram. What was a, right, what was the one you just mentioned?

Moore? Cremdamore? No, the one I have. Oh, yeah. Shambord. Shambord.

I know, Jeff, you like shamboard. So I would, I would do that in this berry. pie, if you like. See, because it sounds like you've already had a big slice of sour pie and we got a sweet no, I'm withholding judgment. Mm-hmm.

I feel like Cremdemour is obscure, but I have it. Well, I think I have them all now, but Shambord is very popular because it's in the French martini, but Cassice is on the rise. I feel like Cassee is in this, your sort of hipster brunchy places are hitting Cassice sprits and stuff like that. Oh, wow. Yeah. Hey, oh, I got a big piece of French toes down at Cassis.

You got to add down to Cassis. That's the name of the place? Hey, you got to come down. We're waiting in line of Cassis. That's pretty good. The lines are thick down at Cassis. And the folks disgusting at Cassis. The lines are thick.

You're going to get slow-ass food that's going to be cold down at Cassis. So the lines are not long. What's the line like? It's not long. It's short but thick. So it's like, there's like, Lots of parties of 20, but there's one party of 20 waiting, so the line is thick. The door is huge there.

It's wide. Everybody enter at the same time. Damn, this sounds delectable and also kind of like a summer sweet treat. It is a sweetie. I pulled back the crem to cassis. That was an ounce at first, so I pulled that back to half ounce. What about the simple syrup? It's going to be a sweet one.

Simple syrup, that one, it was always a half. When I thought of this drink, I said, what can I do with a half ounce of simple syrup? What am I going to do with this? Half ounce of simple syrup? Great. Well, we're going to shake up these drinks. And folks, we're going to come right back with for her sips. Half on the back.

Berry pies in hand. Okay. Okay. Oh, nice rim, Jeff. I'm pretty proud of the rim. I was pretty proud of how I did with the cereal. and the gram and then the whipped cream option kind of fucked me a little bit.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, the whipped creams of me. But you did the right thing about like inside that's what I meant. I was trying to say. I just still a little spot of it on the side. Yeah, let's drink it. Is it sips? Oh, barely taste. Michael, you crazy bastard.

I was so ready to hate this. I was fuming, mad. Really? I was letting you walk in. into a fucking disaster zone here, man. What did you, what were you, what were you expecting? I thought I was going to fight through an overwhelming rim to get through to a drink that kind of tasted stupid, but I think the cocktail itself, say what you, Willa, the jelly

donut I'm fighting through to get it. No, I actually, I think that that, that the, the ratio is good of the, the, the, the cassis, the simple, and the vanilla. I guess I'm happy that I am tasting the vanilla from the vanilla vodka and that the cassis didn't overpower. Yeah. The cassis really did when I made it with one out, one full ounce. It was a lot. You know, I went to the store.

Well, I saw your discussion with Tim on the text chain when you were like, and it's strawberry syrup. And Tim was like, you mean like smuckers? Like ice cream topping? Like an ice cream topping? And you said, no. the Hershey's squeeze bottle. Which I had both in my hand and you didn't text in time and I had chosen the smuggers and gone with smuggers.

Jeff gave me some Hershey syrup. Wait. So I saw that and then I was like, yeah, okay, I'll grab this stupid shit. And it's $6. Contains no strawberry. And also I was like, I was, I just knew I was like, I'm going to use one ounce of this $6 thing and it's going to sit in my fridge until the end of time. And now you're thinking.

But then I gave half of it to Tim. Here's it. I'm getting there, Mike. I'm getting there. Hmm. And then I remember, Jeffie, you don't really reach for strawberries, but wasn't there a time when you were a kid and you liked that strawberry, a popsicle with the crumbly outside? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And doesn't that look exactly like this motherfucker? Yeah. And then also, I remember enjoying. I want to say it was Welch's strawberry soda in like 1999. And when I... You never see straw. You see that like every so often. You're like, why is this?

Rare. Welch's red. And then, but so I tasted the Hershey's and it's exactly that. I thought the Hershey's was going to be more of like a thick, opaque like the chocolate syrup. No. It's thinner or runnier. I think with my soda stream, I can make my own Welch's strawberry. Oh, my God, you have a son-estring.

Mike, I'm going to use the whole bottle. Now, why don't you use it the way it's intended, which is to be a little kid who wakes up in the morning and has strawberry milk. Disgusting. Disgusting. Strawberry milk was so nasty. I remember every so often being like, we had it. I'm like, can I have it in a strawberry milk and having it and be like, oh, yeah, I don't. I would do this again for a few years. Also, the quick bunny gun in on that, too, didn't he? It's not just her. Yeah, he was a quick funny.

Right, right, the powder. He was all over it. He didn't know what he was about. He made a killing off the merchandising on that. He wore a cue around his neck. That was for QAnon. He's cute? He's doing drops?

Here's what I'll say about the Graham. Oh, the Graham Cracker is also another kind of like, hey, I haven't had Graham crackers in years and years and years. That's a good cracker. I had one at Ferguson's. We all met up at Ferguson's. lately and he had smore stuff. And I was like, yeah.

I might have like one s'm more. I had like fucking eight smores. I was making them over and over and over. Smores are so good. When I, I'm the same thing. I'm like, oh, that's probably, no, it's too much work. And then I make one or someone makes one. I'm like, yeah, I'll have another one of these with more chocolate.

And I just keep making them. And I'm like, maybe Tim wants one or Chris. And they're like, nah, no. And I just keep making them eat. Well, if they want one, they don't want to eat alone. So I've ever make an extra one. I made the classic move of, uh, I'm watching Jeff makes more. I'm like, child.

I'm an adult. I'm just going to my dessert. It's just going to be one of these chocolate bars. I'm just going to eat some chocolate. A full amount that you would eat of like a chocolate. And then we keep hanging out. And then I'm like, I'll pop a couple marshmallows. I'll pop a few of those. Then I'm like, let's see these graham crackers. And then I eat a big stack of graham crackers. I'm like, I had probably 12

s'm worth without the good part with your melty is. I have a fun little fun fact for you, but I need to look it up to get exactly right. You have a fact. We'll decide if it's fun. We'll be the judges. While you're looking that up, I have a fact to share too, which is I looked up these liqueurs. Shambord is indeed black raspberry liqueur as used in the French martini. Folks, you know it? It looks like a little clear and gold globe from your grandmother's perfume. Beautiful bottle.

Perfumery. Looks like a little genie. come out of there. Then Cremde Moore is a blackberry liqueur as used in the bramble and then crem de cassis is a black

current liqueur as used in the cure. Okay, so it was wrong about that bram. I think you throw in him on a bram, but you ramp, baby, you rap. How do they, how do they cramble that brand?

Damn it. I can't I just learned the name of the what, what, uh, the peanut, the, the marshmallows in Lucky Charms are called. And I can't fucking find it to double check. I think they're called Melbitts though. What? It's like how Skittles are, um, called lentils. Lentils.

Lentils. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They're not called charms. No, no. I mean, they are called charms, but like, like, what a, what a, uh, marshmallow in a cereal is called. I think it's called melbits.

but I just wanted to make sure and I'm like, fucking can't. Okay, marcia, me, melbets like marshmallow elastic. Like,

lactose bits. I don't know. Well, I'm going to find that out and maybe I'll have fucking. I'll tell you, Mike, very good drink.

You got a good hit rate, dude. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Yeah, the grimace piss. Grimmis piss and now this. No,

the hand slamer. Oh, grimmis piss. It was a wood. If the hand slammer. The hand slammer is one of the best drinks we've ever had. But this, the only problem is the, is the cream

grease. The cream grease on top has got to go. Yeah. It's kind of nasty. I'm spending more time with this. I think we don't do the whipped cream option. Unless it's, there's got to be whipped creamy drinks to do it in a right way, but it's also so hot right here and it's just melting like shit.

Would cool whip make a difference? Oh. Like it hangs together more. because I remember really liking Cool Whip and I looked up the difference like Cool Whip versus whipped and it was like Cool Whip is the artificial version of whipped cream

maybe more like a margarine let's say than a butter I did I did this spray like thing I think it's a scoop that we need yeah I don't know that you need the cream element

unless you're really trying to complete your berry pile of mode but I feel like right right again I was not expecting the vanilla from the vanilla vodka to come through. Folks, if you don't have vanilla vodka, maybe just put a little drip

of vanilla extract and you'll get the idea. But, you know, the trick that I came into this episode with in the back of my head was going to be, I thought the vanilla wouldn't come through and then I was going to pitch for round two that we had Bayleys. And I even got my Bailey's already.

But Bailey, step down. Stand down. Stand back and stand down. You know, Brogan Bailey ain't standing down. No, no. No, God. Hey, and by the way, I'm seeing a few people in the Brogan Bailey tier on the Patreon folks. Do not join that. You are not to be doing that. Do as you're told and don't join that. Listeners, this is strictly forbidden. It's so clearly, it's so clearly labeled not to do it.

It piss us off when you join that. But, you know, guys, a true hero of the Highlands isn't going to listen to no matter what we say. Yeah, that's very true, Jeff. I know, I know, I know, it's nuts. I think you're right. I think what the whipped cream was trying to do was give it the what the vanilla is doing. So I do not think the whipped cream is needed. But there are cocktails that have whipped cream in them, so there is a way to do it. I just don't think what I have.

A blowjob shot. Yeah. So is the owner of Dimples in Burbank? Yeah. Hey, girls. I'll give you a board. You're in college and you haven't had a blowjob shot? You're in college?

Uh-huh. And I'm 200? Uh-huh. You look just like my niece. This could be a shot, too. This could be a good shot. This would be a good shot? I think so.

Shit. I can see that. A little mini version. Yeah. Oh, for the next round, here's what I want to do. I'm going to do a little two squeezes of lime juice. because there's something. I think the bramble has lime or lemon in it or something.

And I think maybe that might... So I see what happens. I feel like you don't want to taste lime, but if you sharpen it up, it's like when you eat a slice of a berry pie, it does get you. You know, it's got that sour. That's true.

It gets you out because you're drunk and when you eat a slice of berry pie. I guess I've had blueberry pie. You've had hair pie. Damn, I went up to this place called the I think I sounds like I'm joking but I think it was called

the Giz Dick Ranch I would have to a place called the Giz Dick Ranch in Central Coast California and they had the pie was so fresh you'd go on a farm and you could eat

pie that was made with the berries on the very farm that you were sitting on Wow that's cool that's fun and I think I chose to have raspberry

I feel like do you guys have a favorite berry I know the black of the berry The Sweet of the Jews Yes, true, true Uh Mary and Barry was a mayor That we don't know

Right So that's not one of my things Blackberries and raspberries Are flavor Maybe my favorite The problem is It comes at a price to The seeds get stuck in my teeth

Jeff, I'm with you I've seen so many fucking TikToks They're like Hey, men in your 40s We gotta start Eating these raspberries And I go to them

in the store. I said, no, I'm not going to do this. I will not eat this shit because I don't want to see. I like the taste. My parents used to run a chocolate and ice cream factory, Keller House. They're out the game now, folks. But Keller House still exists. It does still exist. But we used to like throw berries in the ice cream. Blackberries. That's the customers. That's why we are out of business. But that was like one of the best flavors. That ended up being a dutton delight. in a way. But still, seeds in the teeth

because they were the real deal. Shit. Yes. Yes. Yes. I think what's weird about berries is when you're a kid or even,

an adult. When we're talking to berries, like king shit berry that everyone likes the most is strawberry. And when you're a kid, you're like strawberry flavored stuff. Like blueberry seems healthy and rat. Like I think I now like raspberries the best.

But anyway, strawberry beanie. being the king berry of the patch, it's odd to me how often strawberries are bad. Oh, yeah, yeah. How often do you eat a good strawberry in life? If you get a grocery store Driscoll strawberry, you bite in, it's white all the way through, it's fucking nasty yet still you keep buying them. You keep buying them.

You keep buying them. You're fucking. Why? Because you want to dip them in the chocolate and dittle them all over your lover. That's why we buy them, folks, isn't it? We keep in triscus in business here at the sloppy boys. I've been doing that with black currents. Hey, lover.

Let me smash us up against you real quick. I've been doing a banana. Just squeezing bananas on the field. I've been doing it with a pineapple and they go, ah, stop. Ow! Hey!

You're jamming that up my ass! You're jamming that thing on my ass. I know. I love that in comedy. He's like, you're jamming it up my ass. just like for the, for the illustration to the viewer, you just say, you don't need to tell someone when they are

doing that. Oh! That's like the dirty work. He's taking my chainsaw and using it on me. Round two. Now I'm getting all fired up. I'm cured. All my ill will towards this drink, Mike, has been cured.

I'm looking forward to round two. I think a shot would just be the same exact proportions but drunk fast, right? I think, yeah, maybe. It would hold the whipped cream better, though. I'm trying to get out of the whipped cream. But a shot with whipped cream would just be like, you'd do it all like at once,

so it wouldn't have a time to kind of get nasty. How about you put your shot of the whipped cream into the shaker before you shake? Ooh, I don't like, because I don't, I'm thinking of the whipped cream only as a more of a look rather than a taste thing. Okay, so is the shot? rimless, whipped creamless,

just simple, cassis, vanilla absolute. But the gram cracker does taste. I'm going to make a whole one because I want to do that lime trick, but if you do the shot, the gram cracker does add, and the syrup, the strawberry syrup, does add

quite a bit of the taste. Yeah, because I do find myself nibbling and licking at the rim here. One thing I'll say, what do you guys think of the rim? mine got like, I made mine quicker than you guys so I was sitting here for a while and mine got pretty like soggy, my crumbs got all like soggy and nasty. You know, I let, when Jeff mentioned the strawberry shortcake pop from our,

from my school, Ben in elementary school, that made me like it. Jeff, that looks really good. It's your invention, Mike. It's your invention. I know, it looks good. I think the problem, honestly, over here is it's very hot and all my stuff is just melting very quickly. So it's getting like the syrup is getting runny and the stuff is just gross. Your apartment looks like a dolly, Mike.

Hey, let me tell you something about dolly, okay? I was over there at the fucking MoMA. This is, he's a surrealist. Oh, so you know. No, I'm over to the MoMA. And this is, this is world class art in a world class institution being shown to a world class guy. And I find the dripping. you know, the melting clocks thing.

One of my faves, always so of the classics, it's always so like, what is it going on there? He's so creative. But you look, the real one is much smaller than you'd think. They say that about all the biggies. They say that about the Mona Lisa.

It's the Mona Lisa situation. It's smaller than the Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa steps on this thing with her fucking toes. Okay. You know, when you see the sloppy boys live, you listen to them every day. You're like,

you know, they're probably normal size guys. You come to see us. We're larger than life, folks. We're bigger than you think they would be. A reverse Mona Lisa. We're louder. We're faster than you think. If you don't your tickets, folks, I've said it before. You're

fucking up. Come into live shows. I've had people over at the t-shirt table tells us that and I take it as an insult. They say, you guys are like three big men and I'm like, fuck yeah, we're alpha dogs. We've been magging all day. They're shocked. And they're like, no, no, no, you're big men size-wise.

You need to be on diets. Hey. Yeah, I brought you some Ozempic. Hey. Hey, what? No. Take these GLP ones I brought you. No. No. I'll tell you something, though. You know, don't think I forgot about abs by August. We, I'm on a, I'm on a little path to get that done.

I got a good thing going here. You're drinking a lot of berry pies for a guy who's about trying to get a six-pack. I know. Yeah, it's a lot of strawberry syrup and graham crackers for a guy who's doing as by August. That's why we got to do this second round quick and drink it quick so my metabolism doesn't even know it. It doesn't even know what hit. All right. So Mike, you're doing lime squeeze. Tim, you're doing what? I'm going to do exactly what Mike's going to do. I'm going to sharpen up with lime, but I want to do the whole thing again because I'm in the mood to eat another.

Look, I licked my whole rim. Ooh. This is great news here and you guys like the Graham Craig because that was my one big sticking point. Maybe we call this drink the rim job. Oh, that's good, Mike. it's already in like the novelty dessert silly cocktail yeah how about the berry rim job the berry pie strawberry rim job huh oh yeah with the graham cracker i don't know the way maybe rim job is a shot we come up with to try to be the drink of the summer after piss and shit i there's got to be a rim job shot doesn't that seem like something that would but i think calling it strawberry rim job people are going to go like oh it's it's a rim job Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I get a way in. Okay. A room job. I've seen here, a rim job is a shooter. The ingredients are vodka, scotch, Bailey's ice cream, heavy, heavy cream, salt, and sugar. Wow. Wait, that's already a shot called a rim job. That's called the rim job shot, yes.

Is that a reputable source? Because when I hear those last two ingredients, I feel like that sounds like spruce eats. It's bar none drinks. Do you know much about bar none drinks? No, but it has bar in the title. Ligger.com has the blowjob. That's blowjob. Nope, nope, that's blowjob, not rim job.

I think something about like, like, rim job or like strawberry room job, I'm thinking like a bloody sphincter or something like that. Like, you don't have to be that gross. But strawberry. I think people will go like, oh, it's fun. Because Gen Z likes to eat ass. So strawberry rim job is like welcome.

They like that. They want a chapped ass. It's like the toss salad man. from Chris Rock. You remember? No, I don't really remember that. It's like there was an HBO special on jail and Chris Rock's talking about it.

He's just like a tossed salad is when you get your asshole eating out with either jelly or syrup. I prefer syrup. Chris. Everyone loves Chris. Oh, I found the marshmallow thing I was talking about. Marbits, of course,

marshmallow bits. Marbits is what? Ah, Melbitts. What an idiot. I prefer Norbit. Stop. Have you ever seen Norbit? I saw the first half the other day at a hotel. It was cracking me up.

It was having a resurgence. It was so funny. It was like wild. It was wild. I didn't know what it was going to be about. All right. So round two, here we go. Folks, when we come back, more sloppy boys,

it's round two. Final thoughts. Can we say good night? Great. Check this out. Same proportions. Squeeze of lime juice, just like the fairest bit of lime juice.

And I got it in like a cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little stubby little short glass. Short stubby whiskey neat glass. Yeah. It looks like a little,

a little jam. A little jam jar. And look. Jam jar. I could shoot it. I could shoot it. But I think I want to see it. I did my,

I did my room better. this time. Mm-hmm. Oh, I put a pretty big squeeze of lime and it's nice. It's not coming through as lime juice. It just did what we want. Made it a little bit more sharp. It freshened up the berry.

I like that lime juice. Maybe we'll add that to the recipe, I think, because it's pretty good. Well, put it in there as the optional squeeze. Yeah, what do you call in that, though? Um, Michael. if served with a lime squeeze come on is it it was a bee sting it was the

king's bloody head uh it's it's drag it through the berry patch with a visit to the lime tree it's a Shrek toe you have a squeeze of a Shrek toe Yeah, okay, the lime option.

I don't know, maybe I think we should just do the lime in there. It's pretty, I don't know, the other ones, I can't tell. Man, I'm reaching for it. I'm reaching for it. You know what I like, too, the color of it is nice. It's like a nice deep, dark purple. It almost looks like a red line. Mine is lighter than you guys.

I don't know what. Are you doing half an ounce? Yeah. Maybe your Casice's just lighter. You got the same as Jeff. Yeah. The fuck. Maybe, uh, shit.

That's pretty good. Mike, you're going last. Tim, what are your final thoughts on the Barry pie, man? God damn it. You know, I entered, folks, this is a good life lesson. You know, change your attitude, change your reality. Yeah, folks, you learn a lot hanging out with us. You really do.

You can. I, all day I was thinking, chalk this one up as a Hanford whiff. Maybe it'll be funny at least to laugh at the guy. You're walking down to Los Felice. Like you're smiling. Hey, Tim, what's happened? Pep it up, right? You're like, no, I'm in a great move.

Let's talk. I'm going to laugh at my friend. I feel like, yeah, it's, especially in this round two, with the lime squeeze that you don't even taste, but it just soured it up the slightest bit. and without the whipped cream. It's a very good drink. People would really like this. It does conjure a slice of berry pie.

It's very spring summer. So Charlie X, CX would like it. But here's the other thing. In my final thoughts, the only note I was going to give, I do like the taste of the rim because it's giving me that, I mean, strawberry shortcake pebbly thing. I didn't like the look of it in my martini glass.

So I was going to pitch like what I was going to say what other glass could it be. But I think Jeff nailed the glass because it's kind of the jam jar. Yeah, that's cool. Jam jar, shit. Called the jam jar. Yeah. And like honestly, when I was crushing up that graham cracker with the back of a tablespoon, if you must know,

I was like, how is this going to look? And sure enough, the bright, like pink red syrup and the, you know, it's like, it's like tan. It's not like brown, but it's like, it's like tan. but it does just look like that a popsicle. It looks, do you remember when those popsicles like we'd get them at school?

I remember people being like, oh, you see the bite that's like right next to the stick at the way bottom is like the best bite because that's where all like the flavor drips out of

and we're like, the flavor congeals, man, that's the best bite. And you don't, you'd eat it and be like, you're right, it is good.

It's like, same fucking tastes the whole thing. You know what? Even as an adult seem like the biggest extravagance is, you know, if you have a good humor, the nutty buddy or drumstick, the cone. Yeah.

Oh, the last bite of the drumstick is just a chocolate little. Yeah, because they drip chocolate and it gets hard in the bottom of the cone. Well, our friend Harris Whittles heard that. And in the writer's room for Parks and Rec, he took a box of those, broke off just the. bottoms of the cones and put them in a bowl and ate them with a spoon. And I remember hearing that at 31 years old being like, that's extravagant. And I'm thinking like, like Harris grew up rich.

And I remember thinking like, that's what you, that's the way the brain works if you're a classy, uh, lux guy. He had also, he found some product. He had in his house once. It was called pop knots. And it was the, the popcorn kernels that, you know, you make popcorn. Like they have some of them pop all the way through most of them pop all the way through. Some don't pop at all. And some of them get like just enough popped where you can bite into them,

but they're still like clothes. And it was like a whole jar of these things that he found online somewhere. And I was like, I was like, can I get somebody's like, well, they're, they're, uh, they got to wait for more like pop knots to show up to show up. That's so funny. It's like they don't have any right now. Well, Mike, this is a good drink. I'm going to give you, it might not sound like a compliment, but it is. This is right at home on like an Applebee's or Friday's menu. Yeah. It might not be for like the most OG like asshole mixologist or whatever.

But it's more of like a spruce eats craft lady mom thing. And like what's to stop it from being from being in airports all over the world? And at TGI Fridays and Applebee's and stuff like that, like this is a shoe in because it's also true to the name, tastes like what it tastes like, and it's a nice little stiffy. It's not overly sweet. It's probably less sweet than a lot of the shit they have on there.

Yeah. This should be distributed to all the people of America. All the undiscerning, all the undiscerning pallets of America. Yeah. No, it is very much a candy. a drink. I think you're right, but then,

Jeff, you point out it's a novelty, but better than novelty. It tastes better than novelty.

It succeeds. Right, because all the, the drinks that are sweet and conjure berry pie tend to be like diluted and,

and, uh, juicier sugary, but this is a stiff, this is two ounces of, two ounces of vodka, half an ounce of crem de cassis. This is a stiff,

you're having a martini here. This is, I like that it gets you drunk even with, and it makes you drunk even with, and it makes you feel Good. And that helps me forget my problems. It makes you feel, folks, let me describe the feeling.

It makes me feel like I'm, I'm, I'm, I got a good attitude about things. And people like me. And people like me in the room I'm in. And I can say anything. And people find it engaging and funny. That's the confidence you get from the berry pie. You got to have confidence. Just describing being drunk.

It's the berry pie that really does it. It's an order again for me. I was very happy the way this turned out. I was surprised. My big Jeff, you just said, what's going to keep this out of airports all across the nation? It's going to be that damn rim. I don't know how we do that rim better. How do you scale it?

How do you bring it to airports all over the world? Yeah, without it because without it being like a mess, you know? Do you lose the rim? Could you do grenadine instead of strawberries? syrup. Yes. You could. Smart. Bars have Grenadie. You could. But then you're losing the graham crack. The graham cracker taste, though. That's the crust. Is there a dribble of Baileys instead of the rim? Get the crust into the liquid.

Yeah, I think so. The crust is everything. Everything. I mean, the rim is not pretty to look at and it is clumsy, but I did enjoy it. Like, both rounds, I licked my way around the outside of my glass. Tim, I was saying it was pretty to look at it. It is nostalgic. I wonder if instead of the, maybe it's like a frosting instead of the syrup. So it holds the stuff on.

Well, this is one of those drinks that will evolve over time, I'm sure, as different artisans in the craft cocktail world get their hands on and do what they will. What do you think of berry pie season? Is it summer? Because I guess in the fall you're having pumpkin pie, or you're doing something else entirely. I think of, yeah, I think of like strawberries

is like a summer picking. Maybe it's more spring. What about these black raspberries? No, wait, black currants. Like currants. I don't think I've ever seen a fucking black curran in my whole fucking life. I'm guessing a black currant is a black raspberry. Or very similar.

Yeah, that maybe the same flavor, same color. Just a different name. do you guys feel about tarts? I know you're walking down, you're walking down Vermont. You know, you stop into Cafe Figaro, the French little bistro there.

So, Cribleu. How's it going? They got a whole display full of tarts. They're colorful. They're glazed looking. Oh, oh, tart like a, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get what you're saying. I don't like it. A little, like the side.

I don't like them. They're like dry, old, granny. They're colorful to the, they're appealing to the eye. You bite one and it's just like, it's just got a gloss on it and it's just fruit and the cake is dry as fuck. Jeff, there's the pastry, like the dry pastry world, like the thing that people, it's like, oh, it's like a breakfast, uh, croissant. It's just like a croissant. What the fuck? Like, yeah, I love a butter.

It's wrong, wrong, wrong. I love a butter croissant is this bread. The, the better a paste. Looks the worst of taste. I like a rustic. I like a rustic pastry that kind of looks like a granny made it. If it's got all that color for fruit on there, it's just like, you need all that. Oh, you need to lure me in with all that. What are you compensating? I'll tell you what pastry. I like, you know, like the Entomans pastries, like those blueberry, like Danishes. Like a devil dog? Oh, okay.

No, I don't know. I don't know what's a devil dog. What about a coffee cake? coffee cake, but it's like the stuff that's like in the packaging already, that stuff is good because it's like wet with the butter and shit. I'm thinking of Drake's cakes. Did you have like Drake's cakes? Oh,

yeah, a devil dog is sort of like a whoopie pie. It's like a wippy pie, but long. It's a long whoopie pie. Now we're all from the northeast so we know whoopie pie. Everyone else is probably thinking what the fuck? Or a yodel. Those were those were common yulos. I never did

any of that stuff. I don't give a shit about sweets, quite frankly, other than ice cream and specifically ice cream with chunks like Ben and Jerry's or Jenny's. Yeah, me too. Oh, ice crew is good. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys. We'll release

these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys here. If you can't get enough boys, it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. You know, we're talking about K-Y-2K by Bam Argera, the skate film, music, video, social experiment thing that took college campuses by storm. Yeah.

That's a fun one. And, uh, hey, folks, I got to thank you for coming out to the Duts show. DUS! That was fucking awesome. The first leg is complete. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I love seeing you. We didn't even talk about that.

Yeah, I, I, that was a great show. I, we, we came up at the beginning of the episode. That was a great show, Jeff. You, uh, you had some really funny moves and some funny, like, lead. It was a pro job. And look, I was watching clips on the net. You unveiled kind of a new little machine and little sounds. That's right.

Folks, I'm sort of doing the whole thing off one colorful little mechanism called the Ableton Push. And I'm playing solos on that. I'm launching clips. It looks pretty. And then also, I've got the moves. Yes. You've got the moves like that. You, you, I guess somebody found their dance DVD.

I was, honestly, I was watching how to dance YouTube videos leading up to this. And I didn't do like, I didn't do like anything. You're cramming like minutes before the show. You're watching on your phone. But I was like, there's like a Fortnite dancer too where I was like, man, I don't want to do that. And like, I don't learn how like Crip Walk. I could do. And I watched a bunch of stuff and like I kind of chickened out.

But I'm going to. I'm going to make it part of the full experience. The show's been great, folks. Thanks for coming out. And now it's sloppy boys' time. Now, wait a minute. We've got a three, the 300th episode of this podcast is the next episode. This is 299.

Next week. What are we going to do? Because that's, it's a weird one. It's 300 is a big deal, but it's not 500. It's not a thousand. Well, I've got a couple of pitches. Better than 250, America. stop.

If we merely want to have the name, the word three, there's no 300-y cocktails. There's the film 300. We could make some sort of Spartan drink, and it could be a tie-in with the Odyssey. But on a serious no, folks, there is the three wise men, which is Jim Jack, Johnny,

mixed together. There's also a really good teaky drink we've never done. Three dots and a dash. That's really good. Is it hard to do? I mean, teaky drinks always have... It's got a lot of ingredients.

It can't be harder than our other teaky shit, like the zombie. Right. We've been to the bar Three Dots and a Dash in Chicago, a wonderful place. Let's do that. It's a lot of ingredients, but, you know, like, it's a teaky drink where it's like you'll be searching for one or two, but the rest is rums and line. It's the 300th. Come on.

Three dots and a dash sounds to me like Morse code. And I know SOS is three dots, three dashes, three dots. So what's actual three dots in the dash? Well, we'll save it for next week. This is good. This is good. Cliff. Good podcasting.

Can we just talk about the history of the three dots and dash for now? We start the next episode drinking. Yeah, that's good. Well, a great episode, guys, and a great 299 episodes under our belts. That's crazy. Great. Folks, thanks for listening. We love you.

We love when you tune in. We love when you come out. We love when you go to the sloppy boys.com. We are debuting the glassware. Go ahead and check out pint glasses, rocks glasses, maybe a little more. But you can't get the muddler unless you see us live. Bye folks, we love you. Peace.

Bye.