The Sloppy Boys - 30. Grasshopper

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

The guys shake up a green grog from the French Quarter that gained popularity as a mid-century dessert drink.GRASSHOPPER RECIPE.66oz/20ml Crème de Menthe.66oz/20ml Crème de Cacao.66oz/20ml Fresh CreamPour all ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Shake briskly for a few seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hi-dee-ho neighbor. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we're your hosts of Sloppy Boys. Yeah. Yeah, we are. That's the best way to put it, Jeff. And we're your hosts of Sloppy Boys. Yeah. Yeah, we are.

That's the best way to put it, Jeff. We're the hosts of the Sloppy Boys. Okay, I like that. Now, did you guys think I was doing a Ned Flanders impression? I thought you were doing a Mr. Wilson impression. Me too. I was doing Mr. Wilson. I was doing Mr. Wilson.

But did you say neighborino or did you just say neighbor? I think I just said neighbor. So that's Wilson. I can remember that far back. That is a crucial distinction between the two. Yeah. say neighborino or did you just say neighbor i think i just said neighbor so that's remember that far that is a crucial distinction between the two yeah yeah if you're hanging out with your friends like oh let me do my uh flanders impression if they don't add neighborino you gotta ding them i hate to do it but i gotta i hate to do it pal i gotta ding you the wacky neighbor is that's a good

spot to be in. You know, on one of these shows. Kramer, Flamers. Everybody else has to be like kind of normal. Wacky Neighbor

gets to be wacky. He's nuts. He's wild. He wears a different shirt than everyone else. He used to trip me out as a kid

thinking about how like set wise Kramer's apartment really wasn't back there or Wilson's house really wasn't didn't have to be there. You know, because if you don't see it, you don't build it. And I

feel like I just plugged in that they would build the whole neighborhood of sets. You know, the post office and the street. Tim Taylor's house all the way out to the end of the Detroit suburbs. Yeah, well, you know how method actors will stay in character all day or whatever.

I imagine there are some set designers that want to build the whole town. Did you ever see Synecdoche, New York? No, but my parents live near Schenectady, New York. Okay. Well, that's Synecdoche. They end up doing something like that where they build out like a whole city.

But it's worth watching. I don't want to ruin it for you. Is it? I heard it's sad. It's very it's very sad oh great can't wait to watch it's uh who's a charlie kaufman and it was supposed to be spike jones directing but i think he uh opted out and did the wild things movie but uh it started as the two of them trying to make the scariest movie they could think of and it's's all about like aging and just not having any, I don't know, trying to like get your life to fit into like an art piece or something. Now when you say the Wild Things movie, you don't mean

Wild Things. You don't mean... You're not talking about Neve Campbell. Neve Campbell's... No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I think he opted out of the project to watch that movie, but then he wanted to direct where the Wild Things are. That's where I'm talking about. Yes, that's it. He had to build in a cold shower after watching a movie and then

it's going to take a little time. Where the Wild Things Are featuring friend of the pod James Gandolfini. He's in there? Yes, he's Maurice. He does the voice of the beast. Is it Maurice? The main beast. Hey Max, hey Max, what are you doing? Yeah, and it's cool that he got to be

friend of the pod by being impersonated so accurately. Max. Hey, give me the prescriptions. Yeah, he keeps asking Max about his prescriptions. Yeah. Max, give me the prescriptions. It's good. It gets better every time, Mike. Well, it's wavering. Max. Hey, Max, where's

Anthony? It's good. Where's Cam? Is it good? It's good within this. Max. Hey, Max. Where's Anthony? It's good. Where's Cam? Is it good? It's good within this moment of time where no one else is doing one in this like little five second window. Best I've heard on the podcast. Good. When Gandolfini was still with us and he was still acting, I feel like he was the foremost,

you know, at that time. Impression of that. He's the one to beat. Yeah. He did the best Tony Soprano impression. He owned it. Gandolfini did the best Soprano impression, so that's why they hired him.

Before they rolled, I think that David Chase would always go over to him and be like, hey, could you do your Tony impression? For this take. Actually, just do them for all the takes. Okay, in this take, James, okay, so you don't have the prescriptions and you want to find out where they are.

Okay, okay, okay, Chase. Just where are the prescriptions? Well, you guys want to get into some booze news? Yeah, sure. Hit it! I think honestly, us just saying do-do-do may be better than anything anyone sent in ouch

ouch ouch ouch ouch oh okay I'm in break do-do-do nice

do-do-do-do-do hell yeah do-do-do-do-do oh yeah dude hell yeah dude dude dude dude oh yeah dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude

dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude I like when they leave a little treat at the end.

Yeah, that's a treat on treat at the end there. Oh, that was great. Who was that? That was Eric Kang, the Kang-er. Kang-er's back. Kang-er's back. Kang-er's back in town. He's a very polite guy.

He said, you know what? I've got one on the show before, so make sure everyone else gets their turn. But I heard that amen break in there, and we just had our sample episode. Right. So we got to play this thing while it's hot. While it's on the tip of our toes.

That's timely. That was it, right? That drum beat is the most popular drum loop in all history? Yeah, I think so. It reminded, that song reminded me of, uh, you were saying Apex twin. It reminded me of a prodigy. The one that's like, come play my game. Oh yeah.

Breathe. Breathe with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to listen to more of that music. Do you guys think that the Amen drum break will ever be surpassed by the drum beat that I played on our song, Pass That Doobie? How many times has Pass That Doobie been sampled? Well, we sampled it in Pass That Doobie. That's for damn sure.

I guess we did. Well, that's one. You did an impression of a drummer doing Pass My doobie that's for damn sure i guess we did well that's why you did an impression of a drummer doing uh past my doobie on that um okay here's today's top booze news check me out look what i'm drinking booze oh oh cacti oh i've heard of this you know who it is who it is. Sprite. Travis Scott. Oh, yes. Give me the loot, baby. Cactus Jack himself. I see.

Cacti. I've drank in lime, strawberry, pineapple, agave spiked seltzers brought to us by the rapper himself. Wow. And they have 7% alcohol. Ooh. Ooh. Okay. So that's only topped by White Claw Surge is 8%. That's maybe the only one that's higher than this.

Bud Light Platinum also is coming out with a seltzer that's higher proof than normal Bud Light seltzer. One day we'll all be at a party. You're going to go to a party and it's just going to be, okay, bring your one seltzer to drink for the whole night because it's a hundred fucking ABV and you don't just need the one. It's funny too, that I feel like we're, the trends are happening in both directions at

the same time. We're like low alcohol content is kind of hip right now. And then also high. So we're just turning into a menu of percentages where you're going to order a beer and be like 7.1 for me, please. Tim, it's the internet. There's anything you want. Is that your fingertips? They made a big deal of it being agave. So it's sweetened. There's, there's more calories in it than your other seltzers. These are 150 calories, three carbos. That probably tastes good. The flavors, it tastes just like the other ones. I mean, it's way more expensive. It's like double the price and they taste like white claw,

but I will say that the pineapple, they did something right with the pineapple. That tastes like a, like a nice actual fruit. Um, but here's where I got a ding. Travis cacti is the name of his agave drink. I looked it up.

Technically agave is not a cactus it is a succulent uh dude oh man so you better change the name of this or i'm gonna go fucking sicko mood i'm gonna be in a sicko mood yeah hey travis come on the pod. Defend yourself. I wonder if that big, huge rap star making millions of dollars gives a shit about that. Tim, what do you think? I don't think he listens, but if we could get the word out to him, that would be awesome. He doesn't care. He likes, because succulent is a weird thing to call your drink, I would say. I think it's kind of suggestive.

No. Did you guys watch his Netflix documentary? It's terrible. No, I know it's kind of suggestive. No. Did you guys watch his Netflix documentary? It's terrible. No, I know it exists, though. Yeah, I couldn't get through it. It's like unwatchable. It's like, he crowd surfs. Oh, my God, he crowd surfs.

And then they don't really know what the arc of the whole movie is going to be. So then it's like, he didn't win the Grammy. And you're like, well, this wasn't a Grammy doc. It was a crowd surf doc. But he crowd surfed. A great hip hop doc is the Carter on Lil Wayne. Oh, yeah. When like his entourage confronts him about drinking scissor.

And he kicks a guy out. It's great. We got to do an episode about scissor. Let's do it. Coding cough syrup? Yeah. I think we talked about that once before, and it was quickly shot down because of the coding.

It'll kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kill you, though. We don't want to die. I mean, if you drank a whole bottle, it's a narcotic opioid. Yeah, but isn't there like a Robitussin Sprite Skittles version of this or something? Let's get that. Oh, sure.

You can put those things together, I think. And also in booze news, we got to talk about solid wiggles. Yeah. How about this, huh? We tried this cool thing. Our friend Jack Schramm launched a product of his own. Solid wiggles. It's like jello shots, but they're beautiful cakes.

Yeah. It's a little, yeah, it's like a cake. I would just say like 10 inches across, eight inches across. Yeah. I don't know the measurements. He sent one to each of us and it had little like flowers, sort of like frosting flowers in the middle of it. How are those?

I had a, I had a, those would look so cool, but I also had like a tough time imagining how that even happened. I think it's like condensed milk. When you eat them, you don't, it's not like you're biting into a flower it just disappears and you're like hey where's that gone like there was no it didn't have any mass it's gelatin like anything else well it was beautiful and it was fun to be eating a jello shot but feel like it looked like a fancy easter treat or something and um we all tried the stunner which was the uh blanco tequila and citrus flavor one.

There's also like a Campari orange one. But I loved it. And it made me really think about how much I liked the taste of tequila. Like the actual taste of tequila is good, at least in Jell-O form. The taste, you know when you have a Jell-O shot and you're like, oh, Jell-O, and you drink it or eat it. And it's like, oh, that's a lot of vodka in there. This, you got the hint of the tequila, but I didn't feel like it was overpowering at all.

Well, it's a nice grapefruit lime, I think. Yeah. Because originally, I feel like in high school and stuff, when I had Jell-O shots, the whole concept is just like squeeze the little cup and tumble it down your throat, and you're trying to not even taste vodka because you don't like drinking it, and you're like, and then later you feel buzzed and then like jello shots i feel like i'm always sort of like

spinning the cup around my tongue trying to get out the little bits of jello yeah jello shots are tough they're tough this one you you chop it up into little wedges and you give them to give them out at a little gathering yeah Yeah. And, and, uh, Schrammer, I'm in New York. He's in New York delivered to my doorstep himself. My God. Oh,

that's nice. Yeah. Nice. And he'll do it for everyone who, everyone who orders. Yep. That's solid wiggles. Check them out,

baby. And if he says no, then they're also on gold belly. Uh, but I say get them to hand deliver. It's better. The wiggle with the squiggle and that pretty much does it for bibbipbipbip hey a pretty good segment pretty

good segment today yeah thank you a segment that that's really uh stuck around on this podcast i'll do a quick update this isn't really a booze news this is just uh you guys had asked me about an update on the singapore sling how would you feel after drinking a lot of them? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. How would you sleep? I can tell you after drinking three and a half, I slept like dog shit. You got a juice belly, huh?

Didn't you? Yeah, big old pineapple juice belly. I didn't think it was possible. You did, didn't you? And you didn't think you would, but you did. Swishing around. It probably sounded like you were sleeping on a waterbed. Mm-hmm. I didn't think it was possible. You did, didn't you? And you didn't think you would, but you did. Swishing around. It probably sounded like you're sleeping on a waterbed.

I can't remember if I slept well that night. Probably did. Just check your dream journal. Oh, yeah. I had a dream that night that, you know, Mike and Jeff are being mean to me again. They're always mean to me on the pod, and now they're finally killing me. Every week, they clown on me. I'll clown on them. I'll clown on them.

For once. For once. Once in my miserable life. Oh, yeah. For once in my shitty little life. Their lives will be shitty, too. Well, you guys want to hear about the drink of the day yes i want to hear about the drink oh the day and i'll give you a heads up word of warning i'm not going to do it yet but based on the name of this drink i might at some point in a pod reference the tv show uh kung fu and okay. We'll be ready to bleep that out.

Well, you might remember I did the intro for the hurricane. Who could forget? A French quarter classic. So at this point I'm sort of, I'm sort of like the new Orleans guy on the pod. I see that. People say that I think. Yeah. Yeah. I've never been there in real life, but on the pod, it's sort of like, this is sort of canonically my thing. Right, right, right.

Tim has a story where he walked, I think, 17 miles in that town. But yes, I do think of you as the New Orleans guy. Mike, Mike, Mike, you're getting away from the point. I'm more like the New Orleans guy. Yeah, okay, good. See, I get that. Folks, we're talking the Grasshopper. Oh!

Well, I'm excited for this one. It's a New Orleans classic from the French Quarter. Another would-you-believe-it Prohibition Times drink. With a similarly foggy backstory. What I've been able to piece together online, there's a with a similarly foggy backstory.

What I've been able to piece together online, there's a restaurant called Two Jacks. I hope I'm saying that right, because I thought it looked more like Two Jacques, because it's French, but they say Two Jacks. Tim, have you come across this? I thought it was Two Jacques, but if they say Two Jacks, then you shall say Two Jacks. I'm going to say two Jacques,

because that sounds more French to me. Yeah, I like Jacques better. Yeah, right. Okay, there's a lot of French names in here, so bear with me, folks. I know I'm the New Orleans guy, but... Oh, I wish I wasn't the New Orleans guy. Oh, boy.

This is going to go badly, Jeff. Philbert Guichet and his family purchased this bar from the Tujocks in the 1910s. Philbert himself was like a bartender. He used to compete in cocktail competitions up in New York City. This drink was created by Philbert up in New York City, and he took home the second prize for the grasshopper. And he took it home proudly to Tujac's, where locals order

it to this day. Do you know what he lost to? No! The beer! So here's the thing. There aren't a lot of written records about the drink due to prohibition. And also, Tujac's didn't have written menus until even later than that.

So there's not a lot of proof about it going back to this guy, Philbert. But food historian Poppy Tooker says you could get one at Tujac's, quote unquote, one way or another from 1919 onward. One way or another? That's prohibition, baby. Yeah. I don't want it just one way or the other. I want it from Filbert. Filbert Guichon.

It's cool that this is a New Orleans one because I've never had it. I've not had. I've, you know, been aware of it forever. And you always hear of it sort of as a, almost like a drink to make fun of, you know, like, you know, like grasshoppers, like, Oh, grasshopper is too sweet or whatever, which is dumb because it's like, it's an after dinner drink, much like the, the Brandy Alexander or the golden dream. You have this like for dessert. So there's no need to knock it. But I sort of picture it as this sort of like Betty Crocker recipe, like 1950s, post-war Eisenhower era, like a perfect housewife making like yes after dinner drinks

have you ever do you follow that instagram account 70s dinner party yeah and they're all like gross weird like hot dogs kind of into like smiley faces it's a lot of like ham shaped in the food with like cream cheese eyes and stuff and they're they're like the the photo the the film they use too is like 70s film or whatever they use at the time in the 70s so it even looks more like drained of color and everything is like tones of orange and brown but i sort of think of a grasshopper you know because it seems like it's going to taste like a thin mint so then when you say it's new orleans and it's prohibition era it does make sense it's like oh of course there was like cool French creme de menthe and there's fancy creme de cacao and all that shit. And they just did a fancy French cool version of it. Yeah. They

could do that with anything. I, this is a drink where I thought like when I heard of the mint julep, this is kind of what I thought this was. Me too. Yes. Jessica said the same thing that, and I remember us talking about that in the julep episode is we were surprised. It's just like whiskey with mashed up leaves in it. We thought it was going to be like sweet and green, like a mint thing, not a whiskey, not something that tastes like mint and not whiskey. Yeah, exactly. Well, even I think back then the ingredients were less common creme de menthe came about in the late 1800s creme de cacao came out in the late 1500s so these are old ass ingredients oh and cream cream is as old as cows the cow itself as old as the cow and uh the best thing about this

equal parts baby no math oh i saw i saw that and i i faint fainted. I love it. It's a, I'm a, but I'm, I'm picturing like I'm in my, the taste buds of my brain picturing, uh, something that tastes like a milkshake, like a shamrock shake. Oh yeah. Oh, I love shamrock shakes. I love thin mints. I'm going to love this thing. I know. I like thin mints. I like the mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ooh. Yeah.

This is sort of a sloppy boys extended universe stuff, but we did a Twitch live stream for St. Patrick's day. Tim, you were kind enough to pick me up a shamrock shake and we put some Jameson in those bad boys and it was fantastic. Yeah, it was really good. And it was, it was good either way. Like you could put one shot in and you're having a gentle drink

or you could put like 10 shots in and it was still good. Oh, I love those shaming shakies. As we go to make our official IBA grasshoppers, we'll be preparing two thirds of an ounce creme de cacao.

White. There's also a dark version. If you want that green, you're going to want that white. Two thirds of an ounce creme de cacao white there's also a dark version if you want that green you're gonna want that white two-thirds of an ounce creme de month two-thirds of an ounce fresh cream pour all ingredients into a shaker filled with ice shake briskly for a few seconds strain into a chilled cocktail glass now this is one that's up, but since it's creamy, I think I'm okay with no ice. I'm so relieved that you're okay with this. Like with a white

Russian, that has ice in it, but it feels strange to put an ice cube in this. Yeah, weird chocolate mint like creamy guy. You're going to enjoy that, Jeff. I think, who knows? I never had. You think so?

I think so, but who knows? It's going to be the worst shit I've ever had in my life. All right, well, shall we? I hope I love it. Me too. Folks, we'll be right back. And we're back talking grasshoppers. Guys, what's the first thing you notice about these bad boys? It's green.

Tis green, Jeff. I wore all green today, too. Hey, you did. Look at you. Yeah. This thing is Nickelodeon green, folks. It's shockingly green. And I'm happy that we got, because I almost talked us into using the dark brown cacao that we had left over from Brandy Alexander. And then, Jeff, you said, Tim, let's do it right.

Let's do it once and do it right. I wonder what that would look like with the brown in there. What's green and brown look like? Probably just darker brown. A certain vomitous substance that I won't go into. This looks like if you put chocolate chips in here, it would look like mint ice cream.

Oh, yeah. Well, let's get into it. Shall we? Yes. Yes. Wonderful. Wonderful. Shamrock shake baby yep this is exactly what I thought it would taste like

and what I thought the mint julep would taste like you know I think I thought I stole a little nip of the creme de menthe creme de menthe what are we going to stay on here minty creamy I stole a little Tim. The creme de menthe. Creme de menthe? Creme de menthe? What are we going to stay on here? Menthe.

Minty, creamy? Menthe. I stole a little sip of it, and alone it kind of tasted like gum. You know, it was that minty. Mouthwash? Scope? It tastes like mouthwash. Mine did.

But then when you get this, you get the cacao and the cream in there. Oh, wow. Yeah. I took a little sip of the cacao and it gave me flashbacks to the Bud Light ugly sweater pack because I'm not used to chocolate being in a clear liquid form. Oh yeah. You're not. It just seems like there's some, some mad science going on.

There's, you'll, you'll see pictures of this drink and there's like uh chocolate shavings in it uh that seems very appropriate i i wanted a i wish i had like a thin mint as a garnish to put on the side or reese's cups i would do that a thin mint garnish now mike i know you get you get a lot of crap about your substitutions and your execution of the drink. That, to me, looks textbook. Right now, it looks like you've nailed it. Hard to screw up. You go to the store, creme de cacao.

They have one brand. You go creme de menthe. One brand. Yeah. Did you do Hiram Walker? No, I did something. Well, the bottle's not in front of me, but I think it's called. I should go get it because I want to see what

it's called. Hold on. Take a peek. Tim and I got the Hiram Walker, which is the company that just makes, like, bottom shelf any flavor liqueurs. And I think we should give Hiram Walker a big shout out, because I love that label.

What do you got there? It's such a staple. What do you got, Mike? Crème de menthe, I got. Coulson's. Let's see it. Hold it up. Be proud of it. Coulson's.

Yeah, Coulson's. Oh, yeah. I have the orange cacao of this brand. Coulson's. That's a nice big jug. And then the crème de cacao. Crème de cacao is Lord's. L-L-O-R-D-S.

Think of all the grasshoppers you could make with those two giant bottles of obscure liqueurs. I was like, when I was buying these, I was like, God, boy, I hope I can find a small one. I was like, no way. I barely found one of them. Those are going to be done by the end of the week. You know, it's funny. I went into the first place and you know this section it's not

the first place i went into it had like a full wall of tequila a full wall of gin a full wall of whiskey and then like one wall of just like all the miscellaneous and what do i see there but like the uh fernet i saw all the cacaos i saw all these things like i'd heard about in this podcast which i've been substituting. I was like, this is where they've all been hiding away. That's the place. The oddities. Yeah.

At Cap'n Cork, I saw the fancy. I looked at some YouTube videos of what fancy bartenders used to make this. And yeah, there are like these glorious looking bottles of these liquors that come from France and and they're 45 so i didn't buy them but then we've talked about not by name but we've talked about here um hyrum walker before and that's the brand i think when we were talking about triple sec when you buy a bottle of triple sec that just has the cartoon orange on it it's uh it's hyrum walker and i was just looking them up and it's it's great it's great looking at their whole line because it's all blue shit and green shit and dumb shit but here's what was interesting i'm looking at uh the wikipedia page right now hyrum walker is a guy he was like

a canadian liquor baron and he's the guy that invented canadian club whiskey and that is like their bread and butter wow but then they also um some little side business they have are all these stupid schnapps and liqueurs that they sell for like really cheap isn't that kind of a bummer for hiram that like canadian club whiskey is that has prevailed yeah and he's got his name on this sort of like bottom shelf fruity stuff 11 bottles of sugar um it's probably what put him in the grave these things are only 30 proof i'm seeing okay yeah they're pretty yeah this whole thing is flavors as a dessert drink yeah i should have said that in the open i think you did isn't it kind of weird with these liqueurs it's like you could also just get these flavors from syrups.

Like you could use Hershey syrup. It's kind of not worth it just to have like 15% alcohol and use a liqueur. But hey, whatever. No, here's the fact of it I'm looking at right now. Canadian Club Whiskey was really, it was just called Club Whiskey. And it was a big hit in Canada club whiskey but then American distillers banded together and they lobbied to get it so that all imports had to put their country of origin into the name right as a sort of like stay out of my country will you buy American

whiskey oh wow and uh so club whiskey became Canadian club and it didn't affect them it was still a huge hit and people in America are like, oh, I love Canadian Club. Right, because that almost makes it seem more alluring, because it's like, oh, it's from a different country. It's Canadian. Oh, from the Great White North, doing something we don't know about. The creme de menthe looks like food coloring when I was pouring it out. Oh, it's dark. When it's in the bottle, I couldn't even tell if it was green.

It looked like brown or red or something and then uh you know as soon as it hits that cream you get that neon yeah this is this looks like ghostbusters ninja turtles green it's whoa well speaking of ghostbusters tim's uh has gone the way of slimer up he's. His drink is gone and Slimer moves fast sometimes. Yeah, no, no need to explain. Yeah. No, okay. I drank this drink the way that Slimer eats hot dogs. Yeah.

We've talked about this. We've had this idea before. Who do you think drinks these? Like who comes to mind when you drink these, when someone drinks these? Children. Small kids. these like who comes to mind when you drink the when someone drinks these children small kids i i picture it as a family is out to uh dinner at uh tgi fridays not the old dji fridays the current tgi fridays yeah and then the mom says i think i'll have a grasshopper it's friday night yeah this feels like an old lady drink to me. Yes.

Because it's not very strong and it's like someone who actually would get a dessert drink. What was part of their growing up was dessert drinks. Who grew up with dessert drinks? Just like silent generation folks. Right. You know, like truly old like grandparents.

Older than boomers. I want to bring it back. I think it's cool. If, if I were out to dinner with you guys and then they say, uh, sirs, well,

your dinner, your, your dessert order. And you guys are like the cheesecake. Oh, I'll have the, I'll have the chocolate cake. And then suddenly it's all down to tim

tim we ordered what are you gonna get so to impress the waiter all eyes on me and i say um actually i'm gonna have an after dinner cocktail wow the restaurant rips into applause waiters like sir are you you sure you've just eaten five steaks? I don't think you have. Did you enjoy your Arby's, sir? Did you enjoy your trough of shit, you idiot? More chicken fingers.

You guys want to hear about the ice cream version? Yeah, baby. Well, closely associated with Wisconsin's supper clubs, due to Wisconsin's booming dairy industry, you might have heard of the Grasshopper as more of a milkshake-y dessert. More of a soft-serve-y dessert, even. Piled high.

Benedetti's Supper Club in Beloit? Beloit? Bel-wah? Bel-wah. Wisconsin? Bel-wah? Wisconsin? I'm guessing. I'm going to go with Beloit. Beloit, Wisconsin? I'm guessing. I'm making a grasshopper guess, if you know what I mean.

I think it's Eau Claire. In Beloit, Wisconsin. Uses three quarters of a gallon of ice cream for one drink. Whoa. This thing's piled high. You guys, you ever been to Wisconsin? Never. I think I have. Madison? I've been to,? Never. I think I have.

Madison. I've been to, yeah. Milwaukee. Been to Milwaukee. Seen the Fonzarelli statue on the river. I'll tell you what I love about Wisconsin, and maybe you get a little bit of this in Minnesota, too. I love when, like, and speaking of drinking, the bars, when there's like a corner bar, that's in a residential neighborhood, I feel like New York and California are very

rigid about commercial zones versus residential zones. But in Wisconsin, I feel like you're like walking through a suburb and then there's like a house on the corner with like a grain belt light in the window. And you're like, oh, hell yeah. I'm going to go in there and, uh, have a MGD. And that's what you want. I wish I had that in my neighborhood. Yeah. That's cool. For me, I'm either drinking in my house or I'm out on the sunset strip.

You're right. Dressed to the nines. Bottle service. I got a white tux and tails. Bottle service out in the street. I got a white tuxentails bottle service out in the street. Tap dancing walking down the street. Well, you guys, this is our first time having it, but you guys know, you know, the musical artist Peter Gabriel? Oh, sure. Yes. Yeah. Sledgehammer.

Well, he used to. Right, exactly. So he used to. The Sledgehammer himself. The Sledgehammer himself. Yeah. Sledgehammer. Well, he used to. Right. Exactly. So he used to. The Sledgehammer himself. The Sledgehammer himself. Yeah. He had other songs, too. Unique videos in the 80s, early 90s. Sure. Very unique. I mean, we don't even have to go into. I mean, he was in Genesis for years and years, but we don't have to get into that. That's right. That's right. And he's an Englishman. He was into Genesis, Sega Genesis. He played a lot. Continue, Mike. Right. He was into Genesis, Sega Genesis. He played a lot. Continue, Mike. Right. So he, you know, when that song Sledgehammer, thank you, Jeff, was like getting big and was like he was touring with it.

And that was a song, you know, he always had to play because it was on the album. He was with a band that didn't, well, they didn't treat him with respect. Let's just say that. Interesting. Peter Gabriel. He had an incident. Peter Gabriel. He had an incident. Peter Gabriel, yeah. He had an incident where they were having grasshoppers,

and no respect was given to him. I'll just leave it at that. Yeah, okay. So at this one show he did, he kind of was like had it with his band and how they were treating him. And just, he needed help. He needed to like get the word out for someone to maybe help him somehow, or just get the word about how he was being treated.

And, uh, take a listen. I have a version of the song, uh, here that he, that he did one night. Oh,

great. Yeah. Oh yeah. Nice. I would like that green drink. But I don't know where it's been. My bandmates just made it. But I'm not sure they're my friends all they do is prank me

but i'm the leader of this band it's been going on for months now now they put a rubber snake in my bed i spent a full day crying when they said my dad was dead just wanna drink this grasshopper But it smells quite strange Oh, did you put in a real grasshopper? Why don't I get respect from you guys? Oh, grasshopper You put a rubber snake in my hat.

Oh, I really like you guys. Why do you treat me like that? Sprank, Sprank, Crank! Sprank cappers! I'd like to have it, but I don't trust my band. You put a bucket on my head, and you kicked me in the balls from behind you turn the lights off when I was in the bathroom a peed on my jacket my brand-new jacket my cousin gave it to me for Christmas Jacket. My brand new jacket. My cousin gave it to me for Christmas.

I want the drink. But I assume you guys put a real grasshopper or a cricket in it. Or a worm. You've done worse before oh why don't you guys be nice to me oh I'm nice to you amongst this tour. Dang. Wow. That was like some of the least amount of respect I've ever witnessed that they were giving to him. Right, from a backing band, sure.

And you could tell, you knew it was live because you heard the backup singers singing what they usually sing in the song. Yeah. In the real song. Right, right, right. They weren't clued in. They were locked into their normal thing.

Yeah, they were just like, we don't know what he's doing. We're just going to do our usual thing. But yeah, so he wanted a grasshopper and they didn't... Did I set that up correctly? Did you get what was going on there? He wanted a grasshopper,

but you didn't trust it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of all the pranks. All the pranks, yeah. He had two ideas sort of happening at once. Right. He did, he did, he did. Yeah, he did, he did.

I mean, one thing I totally follow, like the song is normally Sledgehammer and this one was Grasshopper and yeah. Right. But as far as worrying about the pranks go, what is Sledgehammer really about? I don't think I've really listened to Sledgehammer's verses in a while. Yeah, it's a weird one.

It's, I don't really know. It's very kind of obtuse. Let's just say it's easily adaptable to be about pranks is probably its main thing. So he was able to do that. That's why he chose to do that. He did that. He chose it. He did what he did.

And we love him for it. We love Peter Gabriel. Well, it was still really good. And I got to say, you know, Harry Styles has been covering that song recently. he did and we love him for it we love peter gabriel well it's still really good and and i gotta say um you know harry styles has been covering that song recently and i gotta say if he if he hears this grasshopper version he should be covering that because it's just as good if not better it is just as good but here's the thing i think harry styles surrounds himself with a backing band that really likes him respects what he he does. Right. That's the problem.

I think Peter Gabriel just didn't have the right guys behind him. Man. The right group. And coming from Genesis, I don't know how they broke up or whatever, but you would think coming from Genesis and going out on your own, you'd want a band that you could rely on. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. That sucks because you're out there alone, basically. It's your name on the marquee. It just really sucks. Yeah. It just sucks. It sucks. Because you're out there alone, basically. It's your name on the marquee. It just really sucks. Yeah. It just sucks for him. And he's probably thinking back, hey, Phil Collins, you know, isn't so bad in retrospect. Yeah. Yeah. And the other guy?

I like him too. McGruff over there. Well, he was pissed. He was pissed. He was pissed off. Fuck. During the song there, I finished my grasshopper. You did, didn't you? I did, too.

I did, didn't I? Yeah. Hey, Mike, is that a margarita glass? Yes, it is. Why didn't you use that fucker on Margarita Week? Couldn't find it. And I don't like margaritas. Yeah, you do.

But I could... You decided you do. I don't like the glasses. I don't like the margarita glasses. Okay, good. And I didn't know where my martini glasses are. Everything's... Glasses are everywhere.

Trayers are going missing. It's a mess. My God. Well, what do you say we make another round? Yeah. Ding, ding, ding. Sure. Be right back. you're back and we're back oh hey look at this i made it with the dark cacao instead of the white cacao

and it's still green ah how how creme de menthe is so green. The green is just like, so it has so much dye in it. And you know, cream is so creamy. It provides such a blank canvas. Yeah. Well,

remember our brandy Alexanders weren't brown. So, so maybe this dark cacao just doesn't have too much of the brown stuff in it. That's true. I, I went with a beer. I didn't want to drink another one of those things again. Too much. The thought of drinking another one made me sick. Michael. Well, tell me what type of beer you're having at least. Omission Brewing Company Pale Ale.

Oh yeah. Those are gluten-free. Gluten-free. Oh yeah. I didn't know that. They good. Yeah. Look, I'm going to just give you my review on the drink. yeah those are gluten-free gluten-free oh yeah i didn't know that they good yeah the uh look i love i'm gonna just give you my review on the drink i love the grasshopper love it to death could not think of drinking another one fair yeah i'm i'm one i'm one sip in and already it seems i'm like oh i guess i am doing a weird thing i got a little wrapped up in it. Yeah. I made a big one the first time too. So this one is particularly, uh, outstaying its welcome. So it's not, it's funny cause it's not an order again for me, but I do like it a lot. It's an order again in your life, but it's

not a second rounder. Yeah. Second rounder. Exactly. Exactly. I, uh, I love it. I'm a, yeah, same thing. I'm thinking drinking two in a night is a weird move and i'm realizing now i shouldn't finish this one sure and um and and uh i'm it's nice to know don't stress if you have the wrong cacao they taste i thought they were supposed to taste exactly the same but i swear this one is more chocolatey don't stress anyway i mean that's, you're worried about a drink? In life. There are worse things than having your cocktail be the wrong color. Right.

Worry about some things, not the color of your grasshopper. This drink is great if you're, picture, you're 71 years old. You've just had a big dinner with your children and grandchildren. And now you're settling in to watch Wheel of Fortune and Cheers. The year is 1989. You're going to want a grasshopper. That sounds appropriate. Maybe even more than one.

But for me right now, no, I'm good with one on these, and they're fine and well and good. What about New Orleans? When you picture 1918 two jocks down in the French Quarter, this makes, I guess this makes sense there. It's like a restaurant, you know, so no one's drinking this at a bar bar. Right. I'm looking up two jocks. Two jocks also serves it with a float, which is not traditional. This is spelled much different than I thought it was.

It's one word. Oh, yeah. Yep. That's why I was so confused. One word, two jocks. That's their catchphrase. Oh, yeah. So they do a float of brandy.

Oh, I like that. Yeah. I think that this thing could be way stronger, and then it would slow me down. Yep. But with brandy, then it's just a brandy Alexander with a little mint. Yeah. That's okay. I think you're right about 1989 retiring to the living room after a family dinner.

I could see myself around the holidays coming out with a tray of these and wowing people and saying, Yeah. They're grasshoppers. This is a very holiday drink. Especially if you're having too much other holiday stuff that's like the other holiday tastes that are well covered. Yeah. And then, you know, the end of the holidays when it's like almost New Year's and you're kind of fucking sick of the whole fucking thing. Yeah.

And you just want to eat and drink normal shit. That's maybe when I would say, I've got a nice window green kind of a cocktail we can have. It's more secular. Hey, this place looks, this Tujax looks really fancy. I know. I was looking at pictures too. It looks familiar to me. I definitely have not been inside, but I feel like I saw the sign during my wacky clomp day.

It wasn't part of your big carouse? It would have been one of the main stopping points if I knew about it, but I think I went to Giacomo's. Well? Well, there you have it. See you later, grasshopper. Grasshopper.

Boing! That, my friends, is the grasshopper. But now, well, we've reached the point of the show where it's time for. Don't say it.

Well, the chocolate challenge. No! Wow! Tim, you remind me of Wonka himself on this day. Well, you know, we've been talking about so much about chocolate. So much. Yeah. Cacao.

Cacao. All of that type of thing. So, you know, that's where the chocolate challenge comes in but you know sometimes in life oh life just doesn't work out for you you know and and sometimes in life you spend 30 on a gag you think is gonna be just for the perfect thing for your podcast but the whole affair just turns to shit. Tim, that's a lot of money to spend. You said it wasn't a lot of money.

And that's all the money I have. I cleared out $30 tops for the whole thing. Here's what happened, folks. And you guys, we haven't even really connected about this. But I texted you the other day and I said, I'm sending you packages. Don't open them. But it's for the pod and I'll make sure it's there in time. And then, Mike, I sent you one and the weirdo mailman put it in a weird vestibule and you can't get to it.

I can't get to it. I can see it, but I can't get to it. And the person whose vestibule it is, is clearly out of town because there's mail for them in the lobby that they have not picked up in a week. Well, that's perfect. I'm happy for them. So I'm fucked on that front. Now over in the Dutton front, Jeff, oh, the mail got to you just fine. Just fine.

But then what did you do? Opened it immediately. So I'm fucked, but Mike doesn't know it's in the package. You tell him what was in there. Mike, I'm going to show it to you right now. Oh, boy. See if you can read this over the Zoom. It is chocolate-covered grasshoppers.

Oh, Tim. Oh, man. Yeah. That is wonderful. That's something I've always... You hear about as like a kid and you're like, no way those exist. Well, have I ever had one I would throw up?

Just the idea of it. The neighbor with the vestibule is going to be trying them very soon. But now the chocolate challenge was going to be to see how... Which of you can eat more of these. More? Ooh.

I think that the chocolate challenge just kind of turned into me and Mike both watching Jeff and daring you to eat one. So wait, Tim, you don't have one? I don't have one? No, I'm the quiz master. You created the challenge. I'm the challenge festivities host. Oh, Tim, I'm the quiz master. You created the challenge. I'm the challenge festivities host. Oh, Tim, I don't like this. I considered being

a real Knoxville to you guys and just sending just edible grasshoppers, which is gross, but I went with the chocolate covered, dark chocolate covered. Yeah, because of the cacao. And what are your feelings on the topic, Jeff? I'm not going to force you. You can lose the challenge. No, no. If you accept the challenge, you win. I'll do topic Jeff I'm not gonna I'm not gonna force you you you can lose

the challenge but no no if you accept the challenge you win I'll do it I'm just gonna read what's what else is on this bag what are edible grasshoppers that aren't chocolate covered like just grass there's a whole world of it like there's there's fun kind of like Mexican flavors and there and there's like lemon pepper and there's this and that and then there's also ones where they just like literally just toasted it with salt and nothing else wow but these are i believe dipped in dark chocolate yeah so looking at the bag here up top the brand is eco eat and you'll see it's underlined with like a sleek little little uh curvy line, curvy line. That curvy line is actually a millipede. Very appetizing. And then under ingredients, the first ingredient is dehydrated grasshoppers. That's a nice to see.

Dehydrated. So they didn't even like really bake them or toast them. They just got the water out of them. And then the allergy advice. That's weird that the whole company, everything eco eat, maybe they just only make insects. That's weird. Wait, what's the allergy advice? Allergy advice, crustaceans. Oh, that's like a lobster. Is a grasshopper considered a crustacean?

It has an exoskeleton, does it not? I'm opening the bag right now and I'll tell you, if they don't look- Tim, he doesn't study grasshoppers, he just eats them. If these look like grasshoppers, I'll be way more grossed out than if they're just like, oh, little logs that I can't really tell are grasshoppers. I think they'll look like raisinets. I think it's just going to be like crunchy, Jeff.

The guts aren't going to come spilling out. Okay, perfect. They're just blobs. Oh, fuck. Does it look like a movie theater candy like a yeah take it out of the bag there yeah i can't really i got a nice big juicy one oh they look like little turds okay so that's nice that you can't see any legs or antennae no but um but it is kind of a turd shape, yeah. Yep. Okay. Bottoms up.

Now, steak, chew it right on Mike. Get right up there. Oh. It looked like it was kind of hard to chew, Jeff. Is it hard? Oh, boy. Hold on. Let me just get through this in one talk. Oh, boy.

Oh, gross. Yeah, it feels like there's a bug in there can you feel the legs michael michael now what's the does it have its own taste or are you mainly is it crunchy chocolate i really tried to will myself into thinking that it tasted like a crackle ah you know like you know you remember crackle crunch bar like a it's like a crunch bar with like rice inside but here's the thing different parts of it were like harder to get through than others so it definitely feels like there's an organic mass in there it's not just like a homogenized like oh there's some rice in there it's like oh that must have been the head or whatever did it taste different or just the idea of it was gross um the mouth feel was maybe the most discouraging thing otherwise it does sort of taste like chocolate with maybe a little bit

of an earthy tone to it okay it tastes like dark chocolate there's no sour splash because i one time at salazar uh one of my favorite restaurants on earth I got a spiked horchata and they put a cricket on top and it was just toasted, but not chocolate dipped. And it was pretty good, but it did have a it had like a strong taste. It was like sour and I was surprised I liked it. You're not getting any like sour zing? No sour zing, although I am finding little fibrous bits in my teeth and gums now like little antennas you fucking asshole well jeff you have you accepted and won the chocolate challenge i accept two but i just couldn't do it oh so mike also has won the chocolate challenge.

What the fuck? So it came in that big, like, silver bag, and then you had, like, another Ziploc bag. Is that all that's in there? Well, it actually came in this Petri dish, too, to, like, protect them from getting smushed. Oh. So it goes big bag, Petri dish, little bag.

That's not so eco-friendly. It feels like it was made more in a lab than in a kitchen. It feels like scientists got their hands on some chocolate as opposed to some chefs got some bugs. Look at the size of that bag versus the bag that it actually is filled with grasshoppers. Yeah, it's not much. There's probably like maybe six more of those in there. But, you know, these are a specialized exotic treat. I'm not, you know, I'm not poo-pooing that.

Sure, sure, sure. I mean, hey, it was $14. $14.99. For real? Yep. I mean, Tim, I'm going to keep, I'm going to hold onto these because I can see myself reaching for them. If I'm super fucked up. Oh, you got the munchies. Um, now Mike said he would garnish his grasshopper cocktail with a thin mint. I say, here's what you do. Next time you have a chick go over to your place and say, how about some cocktails with a very special garnish that matches the name of the cocktail? There's a little turd mound on the side of the drink.

And you say, don't worry, it's not a turd. It's just a bug. It's just a chocolate-covered bug. Where are you going? Oh, boy. And they are stuck in my teeth for sure. Bits of grasshopper. Nasty, nasty.

I'm going to get some brushing in there. Well, I commend you on eating the grasshopper, both because of your adventurous spirit, but then also, this is podcast gold. Oh, my god. Yeah. Did you hear the one where Jeff ate that bug? Yeah, I heard it. I didn't like it. It was an insect. It was an insect.

I fast forwarded through and it was boring. Hey. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also be sure to check out our patreon where subscribers can unlock the sloppy boys blow out our weekly bonus episode that's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys thanks for listening folks see you next week and don't forget that on the tv show Kung Fu, the old master says, yes, young grasshopper.

He brought it up. He did it. Yeah, he did. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys