The Sloppy Boys - 301. Tinto De Verano

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

The guys make a Spanish summer sipper combining Sprite and red wine. TINTO DE VERANO RECIPE: Combine soda and wine in a stemless wineglass filled with ice; stir to mix. Garnish with lemon slice.2oz/60ml lemon-lime soda2oz/60ml red wineLemon slice, for garnishRecipe via foodandwine.comWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Judden along with Mike Hanford. Yep. And Tim Kalpacchis. What is up? Oh, and we're your host coasting into August. Summer dreams realized. And I hope that's true for all the listeners as well.

Home stretch for the summer is August. So if you haven't achieved your dreams or avoided your fears, that was your last chance. avoided your fears. Let me, what was my, my fear, my summer fear that we talked out of the blowout was OTA. Three months past, no goals achieved. Yes, yes. I am happy to say I am, have achieved one goal that is understanding the 2008 housing market crash. I understand that fully.

I read the book. And the other one was abs by August. I'm not there yet, but I'm close. Yeah, me neither. Mike, Abbs by August was talked about a lot and you failed that. And now you're kind of bringing in this understanding that the subprime mortgage crisis was not something that we all agreed that you would do. You didn't think I would do it or we didn't all agree that that was important. Tim, it's a classic, this is a classic Hanford bait and switch.

What are you talking about? You promised us abs and you read a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, look over here. Look over here. Meanwhile, I'm reading a book. Now, what if you, the book, you're laying down, the book is up kind of high in front of you, so you have to sit up to see the page every time, you know?

Crutch. Mike, you got to think of the listeners. They don't want to listen to a pod from a guy who's write a book. They want to listen to it. That's right. They want to picture, they want to be picturing those abs. They won't see the abs or the book, but they just, they'd rather picture, you're saying they'd rather picture abs than a stuffy old book.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. A podcast from an ab guy, not a guy who read. I achieved a goal in a way. Bigger than a summer goal, kind of an annual goal. You know my problem with the elderly. Oh, yes. Yeah, can we do a quick refresh, folks, if you're just joining? Because I feel like we haven't brought this up in an episode or two, maybe.

Well, me and Mike almost fought too old guys by Jeff's house. I called one of them a old bitch and he called me a fat pussy. Before we were starting to get things twisted already. I was not going to fight. This was, I was in the peddys saying, Tim,

let's get out of here. You were de-escalating. No, I think actually, my words to the man was, to the old man saying he was going to kill us was no, no, no, we're not doing that.

We're not doing that. We're not doing that. This is a good beginning of a saga. Yeah. What a kickoff. Yeah, that was like the cold open. That was a cold open. Tim had another instance with a woman putting up,

no, taking down posters, you had every right to scream at her. Taking down posters. He didn't screen. Yes, this is the woman that I want to, that I want to talk about. You want to shine a light on her in a negative sense. I want to shine a light on me in a positive sense.

Okay, sure. But she was taking down, she was ripping down posters that were for garage sales or concerts that day. That day. Yes. that day. This was the morning of a garage sale and she was ripping down the flyer on Hillhurst Avenue and I said, excuse me miss. Why are you doing that? And she said, if it's today, it's done. Now, now since then, I think I showed you that she's on a local neighborhood Instagram account

has been talking about her. People have been seeing her ripping down flyers and stuff. Oh yeah, yeah. I was, so I had a double. thing where I was walking down the street and I saw her coming walking at me opposite direction. I go, it's her. It's the hag. It's the ripper. The ripper. And this time she was not ripping. She was merely walking. So I said, don't need to confront her this time. She's walking. You know what? The guys would want me to spread some kindness. I'm going to give her a big smile. So as we're walking, I'm walking down. And I just put on a big huge cheese. smile.

Really all the way down the block. And she's kind of not looking at me. She's like, and then as she passes me, she looks up, sees my smile and she goes, and she gets spooked and she kind of goes back. And then eyes widened and then she kind of scampered off.

So I scared her. Maybe she thought you were burying your teeth like a dog. My smile is kind of, I have these two big fangs. in a smile. You had like a ninja turtle smile. She's probably heard of what you've been, you know, your attitude towards the 65 plus community. It was like, ah, I'm going to

get out of here. I'm sure the tales of you have grown bigger and nastier throughout that world. You've sort of become the boogie man. To the silver community. I'm sure the whole silver community is talking the way on the next door app or citizen. They probably have their own silver

version of it where they talk about it. There is that app. Unfortunately, there's no users because no one can fucking figure out on a sight in, grandma. Yeah, you can't get it working on a jitterbug, okay? As far as threats to the silver community, number one, you got Grim Reaper.

He's sort of the big bad for them. Number two, it's sort of between the Catman and like a faulty life alert. I mean, I think heart disease is number one. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, probably number one.

Then the Grim Reaper. Then, and then, too. Okay, but then the thing I was going to bring up. Oh, how about this? The grim greaker. That's good. It's pretty good. He brings you up to Mount Olympus with you.

How about we get a cool, like, we make a cool, like, shirt with like a grim reaper guy and Tim's mustache poking out the front? It's like the black robe, but it's white with the blue trim on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Greek, you know, that stuff, that's scary. The grim greaker. Ornamentation, you guys love so damn much. Yeah, I love it.

Even you just describing it got me really excited just now. Okay, so, but then the follow-up is then once again yesterday, I'm walking down the street. This time it's my exact street, which is kind of. Now, you don't want to docks yourself, but this is residential. Residential. So she turns out she probably lives very close to me. and I'm walking and I go, well, I'm going to try the smile again.

And this time really, I give her, I want to give her a heads up. So I'm really smiling from far away. Now, do you, do you think she remembered you from the first time? Put yourself in the brain of a 90-year-old woman. Does she remember her day? Wait, this woman's 90 years old. You're saying like, she's old, like really? She's old.

Yeah. Well, she's old. And, but I'll also tell you this. Based on her, you know, one can't really figure things out, but based on her attire and her demeanor, I'm not, I wouldn't say this is like a mental illness situation. I'd say this is like just a mean, mean ass lady, you know, like, like she's not, because I also, you know, on my block, there's, I know there's a whole world of tweakers that I know and she's not one of them. So I'm walking down the street, my exact street, I see her again. I'm like, I'm going to try the smile again. And then hopefully it doesn't scare her.

and I was smiling all the way down the block and she caught my eyes like a little bit earlier this time. Good. And she smiled back. There we go. Wow. What an olive branch. A Greek olive branch to the silver community.

A Kalamata olive branch. She's probably on her podcast right now saying, oh, the boy I have a crush on smiled at me again. And I didn't freak. I didn't freak this time. Gladys filed back. The boogie man is good. after all.

He's good. He's good, Gladys. I like to think that it made a change in her life, and now she's going around, seeing flyers, leaving them up, laminating them on there, so they'll stay forever. She kicks off her podcast with like, What, Shaken.

It's Hazel. What, shaking. It's the sloppy girls where we talk about all the teas you love. What? Very good. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that growth is taking place. Let's have her on. Next time you see her, be like, lady, have you heard of a podcast? Or we know you, you have your own podcast, it seems, with the other old ladies. We should do a blowout where we all, you know, one of those blowouts where we all kind of go out separately with our recording devices and call it the birthday boy. meet with the elderly and just go out and chat with the older folks. Find the oldest person you can and talk to talk to him for as long as you can.

That's a good idea. All right. Do we get us a boo's news? Yeah. Boo's boo news. Hit it. The only name that has all syllables stressed. And maybe this is just a 90s kid thing. Chef Boyardee. Chef Boy R.D.

Chef Boy R.D. Yeah. But in the commercials, it was like, Bap, ba, ba, ba. Chef Boy R.D. Jeff's our boy, D. All right. It's booze news with some spaghetti and meatballs.

Absolutely. Jeff Boyardee was sent to us by Count Drobula, and if you have a booze news to email to the Sloppy Boys podcast, at gmail.com. I want to mix your content. I like when they do that with like, it's generally like a Trump speech or like a new,

a new segment where somebody will like drum along or play along to something that doesn't have like a discernible rhythm to it. Right. When the musician comes in, it does have a little bit of a, bap, bap, bap. It's like,

it's like finding the notes of what the person's speaking, right? Yeah. Like what Brooks Allison does those really well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like like a Trump. speech becomes a melody of a song that he makes it's so like whatever that gets done to makes the video the person just look like an idiot it's like that's not their fault they were like boom wasn't there like a breakthrough news one there was this is like sort of around the time of too many

cooks there wasn't there like an auto tune the news right well that's it's called auto tune the news well i think that these the things we were just talking about is sort of like going the opposite direction of auto tune the news where that's like yeah that's like that's like a pop that's like a polished song sometimes. But yeah, there was, you're right, like, auto tuning something is like now just the whole genre of the internet, but I do think there was like

one where we were like, whoa, somebody did this. They did that. A couple weeks ago, we had been talking about the, the damn, damn, damn the guy that's like, damn, damn, damn, damn, he's talking about burgers eating or something. Five guys. That was,

we talked about it, and then I looked it up, and I'd like been listening like all week. A couple of weeks ago. I was just like, Jesus Christ. I love this. It's so good. Same thing happened with the corn kid.

I was like, it's corn. Oh, yeah. It makes it do. Both good. The meme, the American meme.

Um, okay, here's today's top boo's news story. Surprise, surprise. This, this, I didn't see this one coming.

Guess what drink is having a moment. A moment. The berry pie? The vodka crans. Oh, that's... The trusty old cornerstone, the vodka crann? Why, Tim? Why? Wow.

A, I guess it's been picking up steam just in general, but the new Livia Rod, Olivia Rodrigo album, you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love, has a song toward the end called Expectations. And also listen to us this week on The Sloppy Boys Blowout discussing this Livrod album. And folks, it's worth a listen Because when I first heard that title

Tim, can you say it again? You seem pretty sad for a girl so in love When I first heard that I was expecting the first song to be like You look pretty sad for a girl so in love Like the pretty fly for a white guy And it's nothing like that folks I thought it was gonna be an album full of that shit

Do you think most people were expecting that mic You look pretty sad I'll admit that I was You were I think Tim was I could see it on his face I'm surprised you didn't, Jeff, being such a huge offspring fan. Later offspring. It's fun that her first album is sour.

Her second album is, what is it? Guts. Guts. And then this one, it's not sour. It's not guts. You seem pretty sad for a girl so in love. She went with a lot of words. Format breaker.

Yeah. Long one. What up? But folks, we will save it. Save it. We talk about that behind the paper. Well, there's a weird thing that when her first album was called sour, the assumption everyone thought she was going to do an album for each of the five cups.

Mm-hmm. She didn't do that. I like that. I think that quickly got, people quickly were like, well, you wouldn't start with the sour cup and it's like, well,

that's your version of the myth. And it's like, it's not a myth. So she bailed on the whole thing. She saw that fight on Reddit and was like, I'm just not going to do anything. I'm just not going to get involved. I'm already catching heat from this other shit.

She has a problem with Taylor or something. One last thing on Olivia, this actually does make sense that she would do vodka grant. I told you I saw her at Albertsons, right? Yes. I'm not going into a song, folks. I did in real late life see her in Albertsons. And was she getting medellos? She was getting medellos.

She was. But she was also like walking funny, kind of like waddling funny. And I think probably UTI. And that's what got her on. Yeah. She was waddling around. And I was like, dang, you. After the last time, we talked about hysterectomy.

I think we need a, we need a female on this show to give us a rundown on what's happening with the female body. We, we should do a blow it on female anatomy. Because we, I don't think we know. No, we know. Ocean spray cures UTIs. She needed some and needed it bad. I know. Walking funny, maybe.

All right. All right. What's the actual? booze news, Tim. Okay, so, on the new album, on the song, Expectations. Jeff, remember, we were listening to this over at your place, and here's the line. So I hit the new year like a single girl at a Vegas bar rocking my mini dress with a vodka crann and an open heart.

Yeah, I've got hope. Yeah, I've got drive. I will not lose my faith. Don't think my future husband's at this bar in Silver Lake. Now that, but the name drop of vodka cran then inspired an hour. album from New York Magazine, The Cut. This summer, we're drinking vodka cran. And it was kind of talking about, I don't know, I hadn't really thought of it this way,

but now I do get it. Do you guys think, do you think the vodka crann has any specific reputation about who drinks it? I think of my grandmother, Nana Marcia. Oh, interesting. I think a vodka cran as, you know, like people get whiskey Coke. A vodka crane is of that level. Just like, hey, give me a bab, blah, blah. Give me a babab boo.

And that person would just like whoever, just the, you know. Yeah, it's just, whoever. It's like people who go to like bars that have a cup, you know, the drink will be served in a plastic cup. A mixed drink. Well, so one of the first episodes of this show early on was the Cape Codder, or at least in the first year. And that had a very interesting history.

And we were sort of thinking of it in terms of like a almost like, yeah, preppy waspy, northeast type of a drink. But this article was talking. about how its reputation is really just due to the fact that vodka crane is easy to make and the crann masks the taste of vodka and it's sort of an entry level

drink. It is sort of, the reputation is like basic bitches. It said liquid training wheels is what they said. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. I'm not happy about it either, Jeff, but I can at least on this. Go on.

It said it's a drink known to be drunk by girls who get in altercations in the bathroom line. That's a funny, very specific, like, description of a, like, the person in place there is very funny. Yeah. Well, this was funny, too. It said with the vodka soda splash, which is when you just put a little pink up a vodka

soda with a little splash. It said, the vodka soda splash is a phrase that's been yelled across dozens of bars. It's particularly great. It's a particularly great option if you want to temper the sweetness or, are gay. So I guess that's a, that's a very popular gay drink. But I know the vodka cran is a, is a kind of a Taylor Swift classic. It was also mentioned in a song by Conan Gray. But this article was saying, it's being taken back now. Like, it's almost like a brave drink to be like, yeah, that's right. I know the reputation that it's a drink, but I don't care. It's easy.

It tastes good. I'm having it. And there has been, in the wake of the Livrodd situation, it's getting ordered more. And there's sort of a boldness to it. Is the situation just the song? Or like, is there a different thing happening? No, no. There's not like a, there's not like a drama. A beef for something.

About surrounding this. Well, the situation was one of the cast members of Jersey. Sure. Yeah, he had abs, Mike. Yes. I bet he had a few of those vodka crans on a beach house. Mike, the situation Sorrento, I want to say. Do I get any points for this?

Mike Sorrenti. No. I hope so. That doesn't sound right. Yep. Sorrentino. Sorrentino. Damn.

I never watched that show, but I do love that guy because I saw a scene one time. They were just like casual eating breakfast. Nobody seemed mad. But to one of the girls, he was like, I'm mad at you. And she's like, what? What are you mad at me? He's like, he said, I have a small peach. Peace.

Peace. It's really a word peach doesn't really. Simple, you know, make you think of something hog-like. The fact that he's going to try to convince us he has a huge piece. Oh, God. I think there's a Monty Python song that's like, The world's biggest prick. Yes.

This is such a funny. A huge prick. I got a gigantic pecker. A bikino. Anyway, keep your eyes out in the bars, or I'm curious to ask bartenders what they think of, vodka crann orders, but it's due for a revisit from the sloppy place. Absolutely.

I'll take it. I'll take you up on that, too. That crayon, it's sweet, but it's real tart. It is a hell of a mask for something like a, with a vodka. So that's why I bet you it turns people into a bit of a menace if you don't know your way around it. What is it? Yeah, I can feel like that's almost a version of the grape, the grape, what do we have, the grape babe? Grape or like just jungle juice or something like that. It's just like, yeah.

It's too good a mask. Nobody cared who I was before I put on the mask. And before I put this lampshade on my head, nobody's doing that anymore when they're getting drunk is putting a lampshade on their head and going around the party. They should. The height of comedy back in the 60s. So funny.

Well, is that it for Boo's news? Grab it up. Oh my goodness. Oh, my damn. Oh, my goodness. They're going ham. Well, now that that's it. out of the way. It's the main event.

The drink of the day is the Tinto de Verano translation, red wine of summer, aka red wine and lemon lime soda, aka Lionel Messi's favorite cocktail you've had. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. I have another name for it, but I want to get to the ingredients

first. This is, uh, this is interesting to him, because those words, only until you said them, did I realize I do know those words in Spanish. Those have been part of my duolingo lessons. Well, it helps once I translated it. That definitely helps. That definitely helped. But I was like, I didn't even think that I knew those words.

Well, we've done the Cali-Mocho on the pod, red wine in Coca-Cola, which was from the 70s, and this predates that. Tim, I had it at Chris's baby shower. I apologize. No, no, I don't think. he would need an apology. Jeff, do you need an apology there? I think, I don't think you were looking. Oh, oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry.

Hold on. It helps you know because Chris's baby shower was during the day outside. Was it not? Yes. Big time, baby. Big time. Okay. Well, that's what this drink is. This is a daytime, summertime sitting outside your friend's drink in Spain. Invented 100 years ago by Frederico Vargas, owner of Venta de Vargas Bar in Cordoba. It was summer, and he was like, they were having a heat wave, and he's like, no one wants to drink this red wine. So I've got to make a palatable so we could get some crushable drinks here. One of the best origin stories that keeps coming up is like, oh, we got to get rid of this ingredient. It stinks.

So he put on ice, red wine, and, um, lemon, lime soda. And now it's, this is a very, very, very popular drink in Spain to this day. It's been in the conversation in America last few summers as like New York Times being like, hey, maybe this is a drink. We'll check with Mike. We'll check with Mike. Maybe this is a drink.

And Mike said no. Well, I don't know. I'll see. They always check with me at the other. I've never seen it on a menu in America. Have you? No. I've seen it like on TikTok.

and cocktail people making it and taking pictures, but I've never seen on a menu. But in Spain, the soda they use is the brand is La Casara. La Casarra gaseosa, that means soda, but the lemon lime flavor of that. Is that 100 years old? I guess it must be. They had something bubbly and lemon limey back then.

Or, I mean, maybe Frater Rico Vargas was making his own lemon lime soda. It's pretty easy, simple syrup and club soda. kind of like that episode when the bear made Sprite. Anyway, I am not caught up in America. Sprite or 7-Up are perfectly fine.

Now, I did look on YouTube and saw what La Cicera looks like, and it is cloudier. So I imagine, if you have a fancy soda, some people say San Pellegrino Lemonada is good. Squirt works.

That's kind of cloudy. It's great fruit, though. You know, Tim, I'm going to cloud up my Sprite with a little flour. And then let it rise, bake it, and make a sandwich with it. Make a soda bread. As long as it looks cloudy than you have to be. I think that if you're using Spritey 7 up, just squeeze your lemon garnish in there and now you've caught up. We're going to use the recipe from Food and Wine magazine.

They're going to give us ounces, but really this is just an equal parts drink. as big as you want. They say two ounces lemon lime soda, two ounces red wine, lemon slice for garnish, combined soda and wine in a stemless wine glass. I tend to see highball glasses or like bigger water glasses on the pictures from Spain, but a stemless wine glass filled with ice, stirred to mix, garnish with lemon slice. Great. Easy. Easy. I'm going to use, I'm going to use a old fashioned glass with my big old, you know, cucumber, a big old ice cube that comes in there, you know, like, One of that.

Oh, the block. Yeah, the big block. Nice. I'm going to go Collins. Shit. Then I guess all rounded up by going stemless wine glass. Wow. I was going to go regular wine glass, but I just don't like holding.

I like having a big, more solid thing. Now, that big cube won't get too melty, Mike, and this is kind of supposed to be a melty drink. But I think that, you know, you should do you. Round two, maybe. There you go round two. Hey, quick question on stems. I think more women should be in them. Very good, Tim.

Because we had a glass last week, a first glass on Pogne. The last. Didn't actually have a footed Pilsner, you'll remember. Oh. Called for a footed Pilsner. And you did a hurricane glass, which was footage. Close. Close. It's footed.

I think, you know, because I use one of these on my desk. A simple coaster. Is the is a stem or a foot supposed to mimic like a coaster because you're getting all that cold and condensation off the surface? Is that the idea?

Do you need a coaster with a stemmed glass? I think you still have the I'm trying to think of like if I've had a I think you can still get a rim on a wine glass. I think I would Well, yeah, I think that I've had like a water glass stemmed water glass somehow leave a ring from

Concentation. But here's the thing, Jay, about your theory. Room temperature wines are still served in stemmed glasses. They're not going to leave a ring because the ring comes from the condensation. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here's what we should do for Sloppy Boys, because we've just, folks, if you follow us online, you know we've just released. We're very proud of the glass collection. Yes. Yes. We've got the shot glass, the pint glass, the rocks glass. Three different designs that look beautiful. And you can hand them down for January. But I'm thinking, wouldn't it be cool if there was, has anyone ever come up with a glass that has a full on coaster mounted to the bottom of the glass? It's cork or it's ceramic or something.

That could be, that could be good. We're going to get rich off of that. I bet. I, I, now I'm not trying to shut you down yet, but that feels like one of those ideas were that, you know, like I had an idea. I had an actually idea the other day. I was like, oh, what about for old people, a thing that's, you take a brush and it sucks down on the bottom of the tub and you just, Do your feet that way. I was like, I'll be a genius.

I'll make a billion. And then I just typed like one little thing into Amazon. It was full pages. Stuff that's so, like just glue this to this, I feel like already exists. Damn. I don't know. Okay. Well, if Jeff says, if glass with a coaster on the bottom has already been done, why stop there?

Glass, coaster, table fastens to the bottom. I like that. One stop shop. I had a good idea and you're making a mockery of it. Well, I'm a comedy writer. Okay, it exists. It looks like it exists. Damn.

I got a good merch thing for us, but let's make our drinks and then. Yeah, okay. Folks. I think that's the first time we mentioned the glassware on pod. Folks, the sloppy boys.com slash store. The glass where is beautiful. The rocks glass is classy. The piss and shit shot glass is funny.

And the pint glass is chuggable, crushable. Everyone's out there splitting the second pee. Yeah. You can split the P, you can split the B. You can kind of. Yeah, but everyone's splitting the second P. Oh, that's sort of the, uh, well, actually, maybe B is most splitable. I will say on those, uh, on those pine glasses, folks.

And actually for all of them, getting them, get them in sets. That's kind of fun to have a full, like, a, you know, set of six or set of four, like, hey, they all match. Yeah, it's set of six at eight, uh, 10 or 12. Yeah, get the sets for each member of the family, so they don't have to share sets. Yeah. Yeah. Set it up.

Folks, we're going to go make these Tinto de Verano's, or as I call it, a Spright and Wine, I call it swine. I'm drinking swine. That's good. That's good. The one for the paypigs. Folks, we'll be right back with more sloppy boys after this. Tinto de Verano's in hand. Beautiful, beautiful.

I got a little. Good looking drink. Oh, nice. That's spilly. I forgot to mention, I got too excited and I didn't mention what type of wine. I think that it said, a food, food and wine says, ideally a medium or lighter body table wine, fruit forward, not Tutanic, but really anything you have, like, anything left over ideally, like something you like, something that's not too expensive because you're going to muck it up a soda. Man, I saw it was calling for like, you know, ideally a Spanish wine like this or that. And then down further, it was like, or a cheap light piece.

or a red table wine. I ended up with the, a cheap lighter pino. That's what I did. Yeah, I did a pino. Pino for me too. Yeah, I went into this wine place near me. I was like, oh, local New York wines.

I was like, hey, here's a pino. How much is this? And the guy's like, this is 34. I was like, oh, hey, let me get the 14 one right over there. I found a $17 bottle on sale for $9.99. Yeah. Hey. I got this Firefly Ridge.

Oh, I was one shelf above that, Jeff. but probably at the very same store. So you'll notice I took the, I did the wheel of, like a thin wheel for the garnish. Not my favorite. If I'm out and about and I get that, I don't like it because it's hard to squeeze

without getting on. I know. I like a nice thick wedge. Just if any bartenders who listen to the show see me coming. I want that thick wedge. I'll like cut those back into wedges, you idiot.

All right, here we go. Oops. I'm sort of just, dunking that lemon in there. Yep. Hmm. Hmm. I'll tell you, this is a cheap down and dirty sangria, huh?

Kind of lighter sangria. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking when I saw this. I was like, this is very much like something else. Yeah, sangria. Sangria is like, like actual oranges in the, and like fruit and stuff in there. Yeah, and sometimes too sugary.

And like, is there, too? Is it like wine and then also like brandy or something? Yeah. Brandi. Did we, have we done it on body? Because it's, yeah, a bunch of fruit brandy red one. Red, red one. I did, I could sort of have a double here, but it is still equal parts.

I took great care that it's an exact 50-50. Me too. It's still a little red whiny for me, whereas the Calamocho, I remember having a bit more of a, what's it called? and amalgamation, a alchemy. An alchemy. Yeah, this is

I'm, I'm, this is one of those drinks for me. I'm waiting for it to get a little more melty because, yeah, I agree, Jeff. Red wine's not my favorite. And I think we've been talking,

we've been really talking about this cran vodka. And I think my, looking at this, my tongue was saying, ooh, we're getting cran vodka. And it's a taste. You have to communicate

get better with your tongue. You guys are always... I know, I know. Well, he takes the summer off. I squeezed my lemon in. It sharpened it up a bit. But I like it even before the sharpening. I'm on board of this. Yeah, it's not bad. It's... I'm going to do round two, the sharpening. Shit! Oh, here was the, here was the new merch idea ahead. Guys, maybe the audience will hear it and

go, oh, this is great. And chime in. You ever been to, like, I don't know, a store or something? I remember being in a store with my mom, and there were these little, like, little, like, pendants or something, little kind of like chotchkes or something on the end of a little ring.

And they came together. Each one was on the end of a ring. I was like, mom, what is this thing? And she's, oh, you take this. If you're having, like, a cocktail party or people over it, you put one of these on the stems of a wine glass, and that's like, oh, that's the one with a little bow tie is this guy's in the little dress.

I've seen this with animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Little plastic animals that are like they hug your, they either hug the rim of your glass or the stem of your glass. And it's like, who had the alligator, who had the monkey? Now, we need to come out with a sloppy boys one that's like, for pine glasses or something or for, for, oh, for, for fucking beer bottle, beer bottles or cans.

Those always feel like are getting mixed up and switched up. On this recent tour, we have unveiled Sloppy Boys guitar picks and they're cool as hell What of those? You lay them on top of the bottle Like you know when you put a coaster

on top of your drink When you go outside to smoke Yeah A guitar pick on top of your bottle Yep And it works with a glass too You put it right in the drink Yeah

Well no those What we're selling Those folks are just for a guitar pick So don't take those guitar picks And use them on your bottles That'll be a different product we Yeah yeah yeah You have to double buy

Hey, you know what? Yeah, you don't want to. I had a, this is, this is a great prediction and a great merch idea. I'm going to share it here on Pod. You know how things go out of fashion right before they come back real hard? Yes. Like, like, uh, the sort of zoomer, zoomer fashion, I feel like was like the Jinkgo jeans.

Or yeah, like that's like the 2000s era is up. Right, but something really has to bottom out and be laughable. Something has to go away for a while for it to come. back. There's a thing that I've heard, but kind of on its deathbed that older folks can't get rid of because nobody wants them. Hummills or like precious moments, hummills, like the little porcelain or ceramic like figures. Oh, those are creepy. I don't like them. There's a lot of cutesy, little woodsy type shit or a lot of them are faith-based and there. Is Hummel, is Hummel the name of the brand or they, I know what you're talking.

about. Hubbell was a telescope. Hummel, right? Hummills. Yeah, they're like the little German porcelain guys, but precious moments are the sort of 80s, like figurines. Oh man, they're also saccharine. You like precious moments. I prefer to enjoy your delicious moments, pizza boxes. Is that the one with the two guys on it? I prefer that too, Tim. The two guys that are different animation styles. Yeah.

It's like a cartoon. The other guy's realistic. One guy's photo realistic. The other guy's whole faces like his eyes are on his nose. But I'm saying we come out with, we come out with sloppy boys. Oh, that's funny. Cute. Little timeless uplifting figurines of Jeff and Mike and Tim.

Even Meeland, even Coolidge the cat. Yeah, even Coolidge the cats there. And they have a psalm on the bottom or something. It's faith. It's Christian. They have a sloppy boys, a sloppy boys lyric. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

A lyric and also Bible verse. We should write our own songs. We should write our own songs. That's for sure. Nah, too much work. That would be really funny, Jeff, like little baby cute versions of either or all of us doing like, I just saw one that was like a little, the puppy pulling down the back pants of a little kid. Like his little swimsuit thing. Exactly. It's just like, this one's chasing a duck. Oh, this one's. This one is a duck. This one's eating ice cream. This one has a frog.

Okay. Well, it's a winner. We're going to come up with those. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Let's take it back to the drink here, folks. Yeah. I'm taking a big sip. How do you feel about it as it's getting a little? I like the meldiness. It's both mellowing the sweetness and mellowing the one. line and it's struggle. If I can do with more of one or the other,

I'm going Sprite. I don't need this much. Yeah. I think for my round two, I'm going to do three shots of one shot of,

or one part line. Ooh. Wasn't it, wasn't it two, two, right? Yep. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to make it really sprighty. And yeah, wine is not, it's not, you know, what's the proof on why? It's like 12%

AV or something like that. So you're having a, but hey, everyone's crazy, but these low, alcohol drinks and we'd as well make the lowest alcohol drink ever. That's true. And it was weird.

It was odd pouring the wine into a shock glass or a measuring thing. That felt like wine only like you only put in a glass. I also hate doing that with soda. It feels wrong. You're letting a lot of the bubbles out. Anytime we do that. Yes. Yes. You just want to top up.

Top up. It's too bad that the alcohol resides in the taste that I don't like. You know, that's just sort of the heartbreaking thing here is that. Yeah, that sucks. That's tough. Now, do you guys not like red wine even like? I do. I used to do like a cabaret.

You're watching a movie with a lady. You split a bottle of red. How about when you're the sloppy boys and you're on tour in Philadelphia, you go to Ralph's and all of you order a glass of cabernet and a spaghetti and meatballs? That's different. That's great. That was the best. I like a red wine.

Yeah. If I am doing like a red wine. Italian-e type meal that's like supposed to go with it. But I don't, I don't drink red wine without its, without its, like a complimentary side piece. Without its companion food. Okay. It's a dinner drink. I feel like, I like a stanky French wine when I'm having a French dinner, but I do feel like

in the summer, it is tricky. Like, I like a chilled red, but I will ask the guy at the store, like, it's got to be crushable. Give me something light and crushable. A bubbly red. Do we do round two? Let's do it. Let's get it done.

Folks, we're going to mix up round two. We'll be right back with more sloppy boys after this. Now, Jeff, I thought you said we're going to mix up a brown two. But it's not a brown two. I'm going to do a yellow one. Yellow one for him, brown two for everyone else. We're back with round two. Tinto di Verano.

For me, it's the, Round two, the sharpening. I did three ounces wine, four ounces, seven up, and a generous squeeze of lime, squeeze a lemon. Like, really got a bunch of wedges squeezed in there. Ooh. And? And what's the verdict? Better.

Better. You got to sharpen it up. Tinto de Verdicto. Now, what about you all? I did three to one, seven up to one. seven up to red wine. Like three and one. Three ounces of one and one ounces of the other.

Yeah, that's three to one. In a way. It's pretty good. It almost tastes like kind of like maybe just because of the color too. It tastes like when you get a seven up that has like the grape seven up or like just a little bit of the fruit of flavor to it. Yeah. I don't mess with those. It's okay.

It's okay. I think a little more wine is better just to give it a little feel like you're doing something. Getting something done. I switched to a Collins glass just because I wanted to mix it up. But I did the mic method. I filled it up three parts, soda, one part wine just out of curiosity. And it was, yeah, it was too sweet for me because I'm not a spray guy. Not that I don't like spray, but I don't think a man is. I don't think it's allowed.

It's all right for a man to drink. By himself. That he paid for it. He can't go to a store and buy one for himself and drink it by himself. It's weird. Have you seen that? There's a really funny bunch of clips on Instagram for a podcast where they just ask, is it okay for you as a man to blank?

And it's just like, they're just trolling. It's like perfectly normal things. And then it's like not eating lunch. Nah, I don't think so. And then the comments like going nuts. But it's not full episodes, right? It's just like the clips. Like as if it's.

real. Yeah, just the clips. Have you seen that guy online who it's sort of this chain letter type thing where he has a picture of a guy and he shows it to someone and he's like, do you think this guy is straight or gay? And they look at it and they go, hmm, probably gay.

Yes. I saw Carmen and and Jack Ben Singer just did like a take on that. Oh, that was really funny. Yeah, I saw that. But then like then they take a picture of that guy and they're like, do you think people would think that? Are you straight or gay? I'm straight. Do you think people,

would think that yeah and then every every everyone is straight and everyone says everyone else is yeah yes it's such a funny of the first one i saw like i was cackling is it just the same setup of like of like when it's like a guy with his phone on the street talking to drunk girls like hey smash your pass like that type of kind of like that it's like where we met uh the the same arena we met a Huck to a girl. Yes, yes, very much so that. Yes, yes. I think the ones that I see, it looks like they're out in Venice Beach,

like, uh, walkable, but it's also, it's also like, this guy's gay. I'm going to go with gay. Why? What makes you say that? I don't know the shirt. I wouldn't wear that shirt. Like, there's always like some thin explanation as to like, yeah, the eyebrows. I don't know. I feel like there's a lot going on there

like psychologically because it's like usually broy dudes who, the last thing they would ever cop to is like thinking a gay thought. And for them to be like, wait a minute, now I'm being and I'm going to hold on, but I don't want to sound like this and I got to say it for this reason. There's way too much like mental activity happening for like an honest answer. And like part of it is in the minds of these people, it's like you wouldn't be asking me if this guy wasn't gay.

Right. I will say, just for the record, we never really brought this up before, but I'm straight. Yeah, me too. I'm straight past. And I've also never come out on the pod before as cis, but I'm. You're like, I'm straight. And I've also never came out, but I'm gay.

I am straight for the last few seconds. Three, two, one. Okay, I'm coming out now. So anyway, my, my Sprite, that's how we got on that. When it was three parts spray, one part red wine, it was too sweet for me. So then I took a big sip of that. And then I made up for it by dumping a bunch of red wine back in there. Because I love Pino.

And I actually like the cheap Pino that I got even. My thing with cheap wine is I'm mainly afraid it's going to be sweet because like really cheap wines like two bucks chucked. They add sugar. But if you stick with Pino and it's dry, I kind of will drink bottom shelf Pino and be happy as a clam. Yeah. Like if you get a if you get a cheap liquor, it's like it's just really the problem is it's that really liquor really like. like, terrible, like can't drink it down, vodka prints type crap. But with a cheap wine, yeah, you're right.

It's like, I don't know when I'm drinking. I don't think I know the difference between really any types of wine. So I think it would have to be like a side-by-site test between like, you know, $500 bottle and a two bottle. The first time I noticed it, I mean, because there are these tests or, you know, these little studies or videos where there's a certain threshold where you kind of can't tell. Right. But in my, in my life, uh, there's a place called Palermo or Palermo's on Vermont. That gives you the free glass of wine. Oh yeah. That gives you gives you table wine. If you,

if you're sitting down, like they just kind of sort of plunk a, a jug of table wine down. Or you could also order wine. And I was at a birthday and there was the good wine and there was the table wine. And when you can go back and forth, I was like, oh, this table one's fucking terrible. Get it away from me. I mean, I think that's literally franzia box one. or like Carlo de Rossi jug, but I love it. Like the fact that if you're waiting for a table, they're like, would you like some wine? They just give you a free glass of wine. That place has given us pizza, a cheese pizza for sitting down.

Yeah. If you go to the bar and get a beer, they're like, do you want some pizza? And they're like, do you want some pizza? And they bring out that pizza Rosa. It's amazing. And like, like, we had a birthday boys meeting. We all sat down. And there was like, you know, it's a nice big table. So they knew they were making some money. But I think it's like pretty standard. I've been there with even fewer people. You sit down and then they're like, hey, pizza, it's on the house. Like, just a small cheese hits the table as you're sitting.

Like, get started. Yeah. Yeah. Fill up so you don't order anything. That place is a good example of one of those Italian restaurants where like the more basic the entree is, the better it is. Like the more they do a little. Yes. Try to get fancy.

It's like, ah, it's not, it's just like to a meatball. It's like, get chicken parm. Have garlic bread and spaghetti and marineras. You have a good time. And it's like real, it's real good, but it's not even good, but it tastes so good. You know, it's that weird, it's that weird thing. It's not like, it's what you wanted to be. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

I feel like I, I'm so charmed by that place that one time I went and I, I think it was when we were having a big birthday boy's dinner there. I got a chicken Caesar salad and the chicken was full on. rancid and I pulled out the chicken off my salad and I put it on a little plate and then our waitress came around and I was like oh by the way this chicken's bad and she was like oh what's wrong with it? I was like well it's rotten rancid chicken. We won't charge you and they didn't charge me but like it didn't even stop me. I was just like oh you know whatever. Did you take a bite and realize oh this is not good or did you like just smell it?

You know, when you, I ate someone. When chicken's been in the fridge for one day too long and it's got that funk to it. I don't blame them. I've continued to go there. I love that place. Listeners, support Palermo in Los Phelos. Listeners, I found a worm in my Panda Express and I keep going back. So that's nothing.

Support that mom and pop shop as well. Support Pan Express as well. Well, originally a Glendale original. Panda Inn. Panda Inn. We should do that. Panda Inn's, yeah, yeah, Pasadena. And then the first Panda Express was at the Galleria in Glendale. Ooh. I go there.

Because I'm going to Glendale. I knew they made it extra good and I didn't find any worms in the Glendale one. But wait, one quick thing about rotten food, I went to, because Kelsey and I have been eating salmon. Kind of that's like a nice little coupley thing. You cook up some salmon, you chop it up on some rice with some avocado. It's a healthy fat. It's very good.

It's so good. We make a little salmon bowl. Oh, you guys are getting healthy to get. Oh, I'm trying to get my guy to do that. Come on, Jeff. I'm some hot dogs at the boys. This is how she talks about you at her book club. So here we are, and I'm like, and I was like, babe, let's spice things up here at

Albertsons. We're going to forego the normal prepacked salmon. We're going to go to the, like the fish. The old, like the counter, the fish counter? The counter. The counter. The fish deli, I guess. And then in there they have stuffed salmon like a baked potato,

but it's got like probably asparagus or like some stuff in there. I don't know what it's stuffed with. We got two of those. We brought them home. We were like, we can sling these in the oven. We're going to be eating in no time. We pulled them out of the saran wrap. We were like, hmm, kind of smells a little.

But we'll cook it. We'll see how we feel. We sit down and we like watch an episode of a show. and then neither of us wanted to say anything, but that smell like permeated the kitchen as it was cooking. And it came out and we were so hungry. I was looking at it and I was like, I don't know.

I feel like that that little whiff of a smell kind of haunts me. And we had to like throw it away and start over with something else. And you can't get your money back. I bought some rotten lamb recently and I'm like, I can't go back there and be like, here's your rotten lamb. It was bad. It was bad. The fish one too is funny because like fish already to me is suspect.

Like the smell already of a fraught fish. I'm like, this is bad. It could be like brand like just caught out of the water. But I yeah, I feel like any time I've done fish, I'm like, I think this is probably bad. But it's good. Yeah. And like when I buy chicken, I tend to cook it next morning. Even regardless of expiration date.

If I get chicken and it's in my fridge, that thing's going bad in two days. days. So you have to cook it next morning. I do slow cooker, but hey, do you? I was curious about, if you get salmon, it's got to be like sushi quality, sushi-grade salmon in order to eat it like that, right? Like, you can't just get pink salmon from a grocery store and prepare it like sushi, right? We talked about this once. I think I was asking Tim, like, if I could go down to the docks, like the fishing docks here and get one of those salmon, just bring it home and start cutting it up and eating it that day. I said, go for it.

I think it needs to be handled just so, I think. Yeah, I think it's a special type of salmon. There's something called sushi grade, so I assume that if it's not sushi grade, don't eat it raw. But Mike, you should go to the docks for sure. And then I know, I should go to the docs, but I don't think I'm going to be getting a salmon cutting it up. Take it to it.

Ask them. A weird thing I heard was like an interview with like the best. sushi chef in Japan. He said that he voluntarily flash freezes his fish because it, he was like, when I get fish and it's too fresh, it has no flavor. So I quickly, I freeze it at a super low temperature and then I unfreeze it. And I was like, what a weird thing that like we all, that old fish has that fishy taste. Fresh fish has less fishy taste. But you want the sweet spot. And yeah. And then if you're a fancy chef that gets a fish that's caught that day, you're like, It has no taste whatsoever.

It's the Goldilocks scenario. I've never seen a hero. Hero dreams of sushi. I never seen that. I should watch that. Ooh, it's good. It's great because it's all about, Hero is like,

it's very funny, too. He doesn't want to let his son take over, but his son is like 50, and he's like, I don't think he's ready. He's not ready. And it's like an 80-year-old won't pass a business to a 50-year-old. Awesome.

All right. Final thoughts. Submit them, Timothy. I'm in order again. I think this was a good summertime outdoor crushable drink. And just I think everyone listening to the pod knows, Timmy likes a two-ingredient drink with a fancy name. And if I'm entertaining, I got an Airbnb for the fam.

We're hanging out by the pool later in August. If I say, who wants red wine and spright, they're going to say, no. If I say, who wants that tint de varano? Yes. They'll say, see. I'm going to say it's an order again by a hair. This is the definition of appointment only. This is Chris's baby shower on the patio. We're all doing them. There's as many as you can drink. And then, but I still feel like I'd be looking for other alternates. Like if somebody showed up with something else, I would do that. I would rather have- You like to carry-mojo better. Yes. And let's be honest, if you're doing- red wine with something, I'm going Cali Mocho. Now, did Cali Mocha, this tastes like sangria to me. Did Cali Mocho also kind of do that?

It's just in a darker fashion. Cali Mocho was red wine and Coke. Yeah. Yeah, but I think like the Coke brings in that like darkness that's not wine dark. It's like the molasses caramel dark that I like. I guess, Jeff, you said order again, but I think really what you're saying is appointment only and the appointment is if you go to Chris Van Ard's Daly's baby shower. He's got to have another kid.

And during that appointment, if there's another drink, you'll have that. So we need to get Chris to conceive another kid so we should bring him some oysters a few afrodisi-hized again. Yeah, we should plan like a, we should plan his next Valentine's Day. Getaway. This is the next little copulation invitation, you know what I mean? Don't worry, Chris. We'll take care of it.

Why is Chris, the sloppy boys have been taking you up for oysters every night. What's going on? For me, this is, yes, Jeff, buy a hair as well. It's an order again by the hair of my chinny, chin chin. Here's the problem, and I really, and I will say this again, I think I really just was gunning for the cranberry vodka after you mentioned that, Tim. next episode let's do that let's do it

it's do it it's time it's time but this is uh this is not bad and I I like I like Oregon technique I like that I like that that is that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes

ahead of time and you can see things like it's sort of like a West Elm it's the sloppy boys take on like West Elm pottery barn Crate Barrel. Yeah. And one of those places always do,

folks, they always sell their glasses in sets. So buy them as sets, folks. 6, 8, 10, 12,

13, get them in a nice big set. Pass them down to your kids, and someday you can pass them down with your

sloppy boys LLC hummels. Good night, folks. Happy humbling. Bye, folks. Later. Apple Hummel hunting.

Apple Hummel.