The Sloppy Boys - 303. Whiskey Smash

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

The guys muddle up some memories as they sip a classic that first appeared in Jerry Thomas' 1887 edition of The Bartenders Guide.WHISKEY SMASH RECIPE:2oz/60ml BOURBON WHISKEY.75oz/22ml SIMPLE SYRUP 3 LEMON WEDGES 4 MINT LEAVESMuddle lemons in a shaker. Add other ingredients and shake until well-chilled. Double-strain into rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnish with mint sprig.Recipe via Liquor.comWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Yeah. And Tim Calpacquez. What is up? Oh, and we're your host of Sloppy Boys, fresh from the road, road dogs from the DIY hardcore scene. Ooh, back in from the road. Put back in the garage for a few months, hey, Jeffie?

Mm-hmm. Hey, Timmy. Hey, Timmy. Yeah. Yeah, me as well. Might as well tuck the old boys away for a little bit. But we'll be back out there very soon enough. Yes, that was a nice little tour.

It was a nice little wrapping up a relaxing day. Sure. I mean, hey, they can hear all about it on the Patreon, but they already know. They know. They know. The patrons know. The regulars have no fucking idea. Patreon.com slash the sloppy boys.

For a tour diary episode about our tour. What have you guys done? since we got back from tour to, uh, rest, revive, reset, recuperate. I did a little, I got my walking shoes on and I did a big Brooklyn walk yesterday. I was out there eating looking at books. I got some coffee. It was just a day to be out. Ooh, that sounds far too active for me, Mike. What did you get up to? I slept and gargled saltwater because I got sick the last day of the tour. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, Tim. Did the saltwater work?

I've heard that gargling salt water, salt walder is the single best thing you can do for any illness. Any illness? Even cancer. I don't believe you. I'm going to try it out on my E.D. and get back to you. Yeah, I don't know about that E.D. I don't know about that E.D. I think if you soak your dick in salt water, though, it works.

I swear I've seen some sort of Instagram thing that was like the cold water tricks. Dip your dick in cold water. I like the kid logic of like it's cold so it'll freeze your dick hard. I feel like there's always right now my algorithm on my Instagram gives me like these little cartoon AI cartoons of like it's like the thing talking. me so like, I'm an inflamed taste bud. Rub garlic on me and I go away in a thing. It's like, I'm a sore tooth, rub a blank on me and do this.

And it's like, yeah, I guess that stuff happens. But it always seems like, all you got to do is get some garlic and put it on your elbow, whatever they goes away. But I think that's what Jeff sort of talking about with the salt here. It's like garlic or gargles salt and you'll be fine every single morning. These remedies, it's kind of impossible to hold them accountable. You know, there's like, my mom's really into supplements and she's, She'd be like, Tim, you got to take some Arnica.

And then I'll be like, oh, what was it do? And she's like, it's just really good for you. And then I'm like, well, what's it doing for you? She's like, well, I've been taking it. I'm like, you can't really circle back with, with, well, I'm taking it. Well, I'm taking it. That's what it does to you. It takes.

I've been kind of in a cartoonish, uh, uh, I'm not as ambitious with Mike as out walking around eating food. I was more like wellness sort of sleeping, uh, uh, uh, a monstrous amount, but then I ate like a, like a pokey bowl yesterday. Like, yes. Yes. I'm back in, I'm in California, you know. I did a nice big ramen.

It was like fucking rejuvenative. Pokey is flowing. Rejuvenating. I, I, I woke up late too. I mean, I think I woke up like 11 or 12. I slept for a long time.

I slept from like 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. Woo. I've had, I've been getting weird chunks. Like the other day, uh, yesterday I took out like an accident. nap that was like from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

And I'm like, well, that sucks. Now what am I going to do? So then I was up all night and I watch Zorba, the Greek. And it was like looking in a fucking mirror. I'll tell you that. Wow. You know what I put on since I've been home? I put on the Brady Bunch movie.

I think it came up between us, either on the pod or an IRL. It's an interesting movie. We might want to think about doing that for the blowout. It's like a weird, it's stuck in this weird, ironic time of the 90s when they're talking about it. But it's also the Brady Bunch is like doing a very good job of being exactly like the Brady Bunch show. It's interesting.

It feels like it was the first time that it was like an IP being brought to the big screen in a winky fashion. You know, like I feel like that hadn't really been done. Right, right, right. Even like Adam's family and stuff was like a little more straight. It was like movie eyes and like Flintstones. It was like, hey, we're giving it the big budget treatment, but we're not like. deconstructing and making fun of it in the same way that Brady.

Like the Brady Bunch thing is like, it's corny and we know it's corny. You know, like that type of thing. Well, like when we watched the, not the Spice Girls movie, the Pussycats movie, what was that called? Yeah, Joe Dean PussyCats. Same thing. And I think the Spice World movie has this too. It's just kind of like, it has a layer of irony that's like, oh, kind of fun that this type of movie went in that direction. It could have just been like bad joke.

It's camp, Mike. It's camp. It's camp. It's camp. It's CK. Well, I Can't kill yourself.

I didn't want to say those words, Jefferson. Ah, you can on the pod. Okay. Oh, on the pod, yeah. All right, do we want to get into some booze news? Yes. Booze news hit it. Everybody take a shot of piss and shit.

Piss a shit. Everybody take a shot of piss and shit. Piss and shit. Everybody take a shot of pissing shit Pissing shit Everybody take a shot of was sent to us by Dan Padley A.k.a. Paddles. And if you have a booze news

email to the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com. Paddles. The Midwest big boy. He's a big boy. He's a big boy now. Now, he's not really physically too big of a boy, but you guys were calling him at our Chicago show he was in the crowd and you can say

what do you think of that big boy? We've sort of crafted this fake relationship with Padley where he comes to our show stands right in front of me and laughs at me

every time I hit the wrong note so you know we've sort of built him up it's fun to talk to him as this villain character and say oh what do you think of that big boy we should go to his job

and laugh at him when he messes up we could because his job is also you know, professional musician. Oh, fuck. We're fucked. No, it's not going to mess up enough. Oh. No, that's always a fun time.

I love seeing Padley out there. We've had them come on stage and play guitar before. Yeah, I thought it was, it was funny thing about folks, this was eight. It was a breakneck pace out there in the Midwest. We did eight shows and nine nights. And they were all, no duds, all killer, no filler. It was fantastic. But there was something.

I think that the thing that we want from a tour is what happened was every show felt unique. Some weird stuff happened in the room that gave the night some personality or whatever. And I don't know what it was the energy that we were carrying into the final night, but it's like it was pretty brutal touring schedule. It was sort of like, what do you think of that big boy type energy? Well, it wasn't. I felt like we were combative with the crowd in general.

And it was like this thing of like, we love Chicago. We've played in Chicago a lot. so maybe we had this attitude of like, like, oh, do you think we've played her too much? Yeah. No, it's funny. They're having a blast. And like, so many of the same people there, like the chatterbate guy was there. Yep.

The guy. Who's the guy you switched shirts with, Mike? It's a fantastic group that comes out. Who's the switch shirt guy? Anthony, he came out. We gave him a shirt. We didn't switch shirts. But I said, you know what?

I'm done with this. What's the actual booze news? Yes, the booze news. Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm sending you, I'm texting you on your phones. Okay. A link to one of these, um, my mobile?

This is an internet cocktail, right? I'm not going to call this like a, a drink that people are making or ordering or anything. But there is a cocktail, um, that was on the account, the Instagram account at cocktails. Right. Okay. Um, and then, and then, I, it seems to me. that they've created. But there's this drink called the hot girl summer cocktail. And now this is one of these at cocktails on Instagram has two million, three million followers.

Right. Because they got the good handle. That's the thing. They got the good handle early. They bought a very good handle from somebody. Does that ever happen with emails where it's like someone is selling a Instagram? You always hear that. Whenever like a new thing launches, somebody's like, man, I snapped up Pepsi and Coca-Cola and McDonald's. They got to pay me millions. And you never hear of that, like, working out for that person. That's funny when it is like, like, they just launched Periscope and I got the Coca-Cola account. Yeah, exactly, right.

You know they're going to need that. And then they're going to have to pay me, man. Then one year later, all the startup bros that started Periscope are all in prison and nobody gives a think about the app. Okay, but so listen, this, this drink that I just sent. you the link to. Yeah. Is, um, they're called, they call it the hot girl summer cocktail. And what it is is ice, lemon juice, ounce and a half vodka, diet Coke and a shot of espresso. Now, they've posted

this several times. It gets a million views every time and it blows up every time. Same thing on, on, uh, TikTok and everywhere. And I ignored it. I didn't really believe it's a real drink. So I ignored it for a while. But then it gets sent to us so much that I guess it's like a to slop, but there's this genre of cocktail that like I guess makes for a good video. Like people wants to like comment on the video and

share the video but probably are not going to ever make the drink. And it's got a fun name. It's like a piss and shit. It feels like it's a cultural thing happening like the piss and shit. It's like a smash like the piss and shit. And so when you when you mix together Diet Coke and espresso

they're like, yes, that's my fucking drink. Even though the Hot Girl Summer song was in 2019 seven years ago. Right. And like, yeah, the whole hot girl summer

idea is so dated like it's a bit more spins on, you know, like you hear more like, one year into it. Like, it's actually chubby boy summer. Yeah.

Last year was Brett summer. Yeah. Okay. Last year was your personal Brad summer. Not, yeah, the year after. The year after the mainstream back.

And yours was not related to the Charlie X, X-X album. It was sort of had its own vibe. Yeah, it was more just getting like, whee! Red Soba! Yeah, it was just it was just, you know,

it was just sort of that. Anyway, so this drink, I bring it in just to say like, interesting that it can go viral many, many times. I don't think anyone's making it or ordering it. I do understand that like when you put Diet Coke in a, in a drink, it's buzzy.

But then also what I wanted to talk. It looks damn refreshing. That looks like a good drink. It looks nice. And the thing is, I do think there's an idea there that we, it's the fact that it's a take on the espresso martini. I do think there's an opportunity there. Maybe it's the sloppy boys or some listeners that are going to be this to it. But don't you think that the espresso martini is like too specific of a drink?

Like people want to pep up. And then there's this one like stiff little thing that's weird to drink outside. It's weird to drink during the day. It's weird to drink. It's not weird. It's one of the most ordered liquids. It's wonderful. It is.

But like Friday, Saturday night in a bar ordering it is normal. But it doesn't feel versatile to me. So I do think that this drink, I don't think Diet Coke is the answer. But I think there's something to like the Sprits version. The, a little bit more of a. daytime on the rocks. Ah. But get that shot of espresso in it somehow.

And the, the Coca-Cola and espresso, like, coffee and Coca-Cola is an interesting flavor. I mean, they tried that. I don't know if I've ever had that together. Who did? They released that. Coke released like Coca-Cola. Oh, Coke did their own, like, cans. It was in like a slim can kind of.

Yeah, yeah, it was a sexy slim can. I never had one. I wonder, or did we do it? No, we didn't do it on this show right. I feel like I had it. not on the show. You add it. Yeah, it.

But you're right, Tim, there's something about like an ice coffee, breezy sort of version of this. That isn't like hardcore vodka, hardcore espresso. Pet me up, pet me down. Speedball. Really, geez.

Give me a break. Get my nervous system a break. Yeah, maybe it's with club soda. You know, maybe it's like your Kalua and your vodka and then just soda.

You ever have that brand of like New York Seltzer that's like coffee soda? That's kind of weird. Wait a minute, no. No. You were nodding during the setup and then fuck, no. Have you had the, like sometimes fancy coffee places will sell espresso tonic.

That's like espresso and tonic water. I don't like it. I had it go get him, Tiger. I was like, yeah, I'll try that. And it was my last. I've never ordered it. Yeah, that doesn't sound like bubbly. Yeah, that doesn't sound good.

bubbly espresso. Bubles and coffee don't seem to work. Yeah. For me. No, I'm with you. But coffee already feels like when you take a sip, it's already charging you a little bit. You don't need the bubbles to make you feel that.

Well, maybe it's something that's more like on a hot day during the day. I do still like to get like a Starbucks drink that's a big cuby, big straw, clinky cuby shaker. So maybe there's something like that, creamy oat milk. Maybe it's because the espresso is so hot. It's prepared hot. Maybe this thing is more of a cold brew approach. Can we just go back to the notes from the road?

Tim, remember we were at the McDonald's and you ordered an ice coffee and you didn't add something to when the lady could not believe. She's like, what? Really? No sugar? No stir at all. He got a vanilla ice coffee with no vanilla syrup. And she was like, no sweetener.

And you said, no lady, I like it black. I will say, my brain was not functioning on this particular morning. I don't know what it was. And I couldn't do the math. Like, I think if I had just ordered a drink like that straight, it would be a weird thing to do. But it was a meal ad on. I was like, I'll have the sauce. We're hitting on one of those kiosk iPad things.

I'm like, I'll have the sausage egg mcgrittle. And then, you know, and yes, I'll make it a meal. and that means hash brown and hot coffee, but then it was like, do you want a 79 cent upgrade? And I did want an iced coffee. But one of the, there was no option for the 79 cent upgrade to iced. So I had to choose the vanilla one and then go into the settings and delete this, remove the syrup. So she thought I was weird because I ordered a vanilla iced coffee with no vanilla.

The kiosk was weird. The kiosk was weird. She brought it up like three different times. That's what I'm saying. She really like, when I clued in and what it was going, I was like, lady, this can't be this exciting. He just didn't get the vanilla squirt. She was older, but she wasn't that old.

So I didn't think it was sort of like a senior. Right. I didn't think it was like senior friction between Tim and this person. No, she just barely didn't make the cut off into senior. Because when you left, you went, you turned back around and said like, next time lady, it's not going to be so easy. Because next time she will have crossed 65. Do you know who you're talking to?

She'll be older, yeah. We go through that same rest stop. You know, I think that she was thinking, you know, sometimes in life there's a funny interaction, like in the film Five Easy Pieces, where he's like, can I have toast? We don't serve toast. Okay, can I have an egg salad sandwich on toasted bread

minus the egg salad? Yeah, you know, she thought we were getting in the one with that. tape at territory. And I said, lady, it's too early in the morning for that type of thing. I can't even hell the kiosk. You want me to do all the math on this thing? Damn. Well, is that it for Boo's News?

Wrap it up. Oh, and with that out of the way, we turn our attention to the main event. It's the reason you press play, folks. It's the drink of the day. It's what we're known for. The day of the day. We're known for the drink of the day. I guess so.

It wouldn't be much of a podcast without it. For the theme. Okay, well, today's drink of the day, you guys have heard people ask like smash or pass, right? Oh, yeah. I hear a lot of pass in response. I hear a lot of pass. Well, a lot of times when people are asking smash a pass,

they are asking whether you're going to make love or you're going to choose to not. Okay. I submit there's also sometimes when people say smash or pass, they're asking that, do you want to smash cocktail or not, you know? Or not or not. So pass is the same. The smash is the different. Yeah, yeah.

There's not much you could do with past. But anyway, I think we should this summer with that we should kind of rebrand that, that question to mean whether or not you're going to drink a smash. But, we. Tim, this is very good. I think you're about to get to it. We recently released as part of the glass collection, the wood selection, which includes the sloppy boys mudler. So the wood selection is part of the glass collection.

That's right, Tim. Thank you. The selection is probably, and this is all under the sloppy boys L.C. umbrella, merchandise umbrella. That's right. But the muddler is only available at live shows, folks. You got to come out live to get that muddler to complete the selection part of the collection.

Now, I can imagine, Tim, somebody making a whiskey smash and all the ingredients. are in there and the muddler hovers over the glass and the bartender says, hey, smash or pass. And that's your moment to select muddled or not muddled. Smash! Smash! A thousand times smash! Which actually would be bad. You just want to tap, tap, tap, but we'll get into that

and just... What if part... Maybe they should start saying, smash or unmuddled. Well, just for this, for the cocktail thing, you wouldn't want to say that if you were a influencer out on the streets of Austin asking if people want to... I mean, let's be honest, the active intercourse, there's kind of a little bit of muddling. It's a bit of a muddling.

There's a little of a muddle situation. To it. Okay, yes, that's very exciting that we release these muddlers. Folks, if you haven't seen them, they're these little wooden cocktail muddlers for smash and stuff, but they look kind of like little baseball bats. So we have the sloppy boys logo. It kind of looks like a little Louisville slugger.

Yeah, it's good. People were snapping those up. Oh. So anyone that bought one on tour is, has been sitting around being like, I want to make something with this, but I wanted to be the perfect drink. Right, right, right.

And we've covered, we've muddled before. And we'll muddle again. It's not our first time muddling. We've done the mojito. Jeff, I feel like you're always excited to get a chance to muddle.

Had you previously owned a muddler. Oh, yeah, Tim. Wow. He's cool after all. I love to crush up an herb or berry or rind. Yes. Well, here's the thing, Jeff. You mentioned herb and berry or rind.

The berry or rind would fall under the fruit category, would it or not? And we learned recently, we've done a smash on the pod. Just a couple months ago, we did the gin basil smash and it tasted like a... That's a bangor. Yeah, real, real banger. But that was like a 2000s hipster cocktail revival scene type of a drink. we learned that a smash is a cocktail that contains a fruit and an herb and then they're muddled. And the reason you need a sloppy boy's muddler, rather than just shaking up your cocktail,

you can get the juice out of a lemon many ways, but you want the oil from the rind. That's what it is. That's why you need the muddler. I'm an oil man. There's oil in them there, rinds. Yeah? I drink up your oil, or milk. In this case, it is oil.

So the original smash that started the whole thing where you have a spirit, sugar, a fruit, and a herb. The OG original from the 1800s is the drink of the day, the whiskey smash. And this, it's sort of a mashup. It's from the 1800s, but we previously had the whiskey sour and the mint julep doing their own thing. There's no lemon in a mint and a whiskey sour. This is where they come together. We don't know who invented it,

but it first appeared in print in the very iconic Jerry Thomas' bartender's guide in 1887. The OG. Re-popularized by Friend of the Pod Dale DeGroff. Hello. In the 80s and 90s, New York's Rainbow Room. Beautiful. And he kind of likes to, it's a signature choice of his, like Bobby Flee tapped Dale to like launch the cocktail program at one of his restaurants.

It was called like Bar American or whatever. And Dale kind of built the cocktail program around this drink. So it's very much. And Dale, he didn't half-assed that one, did he? I think he went whole hog. Well, we don't know what muddler he used. Okay. Oh.

We don't know what, well, okay. We don't know what muller. We assume in the future he's going to be using only the sloppy boys brand muddler, but we don't know that for sure either. It's the only good mudler out there, let's be honest. Kind of, yeah, that's sort of what we're getting at, folks. Okay, so we're using this recipe from liquor.com. You ready for it?

Yeah. Hit me. Ingredients are three lemon wedges. Oh, Jeff, you've had some strong opinions about lime wedges on the road, but we'll circle back to that later. Yeah, we will. Okay, three lemon wedges, two ounces of bourbon, three quarter-round simple syrup, four mint leaves, and a mincebrigg garnish. Directions, muddle with a sloppy boy's wooden muddler. The lemon wedges in a shaker.

Add bourbon, simple syrup, mint leaves, and ice and shake until well-chilled, double-strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnish with a mince-pring. And then it says with that mince-prick, firmly slap the mince-bring. on the back of your hand before garnishing. This releases the oils, another oil thing. Jesus Christ. Oil man. To make a more aromatic.

Okay, we're not muddling the mint, guys. We're muddling the lemon. That's interesting to me. That is interesting. And that I don't like. With our gin basil smash, we pulverized the basil. And like we even talked about how some bars like their plumbing was ruined by the basil slice. Okay.

Well, maybe round one, I'll do it by the book. Yeah. Let's, let's, but you're going to slap. Slap and smash. And I got to say, I got some fresh basil. It came in a, or with a root in a little chunk of dirt. Mint. Yeah, fuck.

Sorry, mint. Tim, did you manage to find mint? No, yes. Here's the thing. I've always overpaid and got the live kind that has dirt in the bottom of roots. Today I was like, oh, for two bucks they have a little at Albertsons, they have just a normal little bushel of mint that was only two bucks. You probably get the last one. the one I got. Maybe I got the last one.

Damn. Because I normally try for the just the little chunk and then sometimes if they don't have that, I'll go to the plastic with the dirt. And then this was out of both of those. And there was a small mint tree. So I'm the proud owner of a new small mint tree.

He's a plant dad. I'm going to probably plant this thing and sort of get into the mint game. But I'm playing Zaddy. I'm also worried about cyclospora. We're going to find out if we get the diarrhea disease from this fresh herb. Okay, I thought that that was specifically lettuce. Is it any green leaf?

Stay away from it all. I'm hearing berries are no good. But shredded iceberg was the main thing. But I don't know. Jeff, I just today purchased and ate a banana and a peach. Am I okay? Tell me now. Yes.

Thank God. Bananas are particularly good because they have rinds and peels. All right. And potassium. All right, folks, we're going to go make up. We're going to go muddle up these whiskey smashes. And we're going to come back with first sips like we do every week. You're going to love it more than ever this time.

That's going to be really, really great. One funny side note, I myself don't own a sloppy boys mudler. And I actually don't own any muddler. So what am I going to? I'm going to use the back end of a wooden spoon. That's what you do. That's good. But it'll be a bad drink.

And I would get the muddler folks. Yes, it'll be a bad drink. Tim's going to have a bad drink. Camp on the beer! Whiskey smashes in hand. Let's see him. Okay. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, but... Oh, beautiful.

I was wrong about the mint. You do muddle the leaves. Right before the break. I read it correctly, and then, but I wasn't listening. It's this sprig garnish that you're slapping. The four mint leaves do get muddled. Muddled or shaken. Now, wait a minute.

I mean, doesn't shaking with a solid ice cube, that essentially muddles it as well. It's not the muddle. No, no, no, no. They got to buy the muddler. Oh, right. No, it doesn't count if you shake it with, even with the best ice cube. Sorry, folks. Sorry.

Wait, let me go back to this recipe one more time. Yes, please. Whiskey smashed. Well, I'll type that in. And then I'll click on this and then I'll scroll down and the pool. We'll have our answer. The long website sounds like. Okay.

Muddle the lemon wedges. in a shaker. Add bourbon, simple, serve, min leaves, ice, and shake. Okay, no, I was right. I'm smart. You're right. You're right. I'm smart. And this past minute, I've been stupid. You sound like you're paranoid over there. What's happening, Tim? Dude, I hate

an animal. I hate the wrong DMT stash. First sips. First sips, indeed. Ooh, swayed by the smell already. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful man who invented this drink. I want to shake his hand. Ooh, that's good. Man, I got to the mint level, to the mint portion of the menu.

And I realized, since I had that little tree, I put it in the cup holder in the driver's seat. And when I brought in the groceries, I just brought in the bags in the back. So I realized my mint's been in the hot car for two hours. I go out there, my man, looks like the poor unfortunate souls and Arias twisted garden, man. Oh, no. It's been coming up a lot for you lately, things that look like that. Sorry, Ursula's twisted garden.

Ursula's twisted garden. Oh, yeah, Ariel's twisted garden is all that, those doodds and glass bobbles that she got. Who gives it? Junk. That's garbage, tuts. If you had some legs, you might know that. What are they called dinglehoppers? You want thingobabs?

I've got plenty. I've got about plenty. This is a classy little drink, and I'll tell you why. Usually when I get the mint for, you know, I just got the little thing in the, what you guys were talking about, the plastic little booklet thing you open up. Oh, yeah. A little of some mint, and it's usually like way older and like the stems are thick, you know, but this is nice and like, look at these. These almost look like kind of newish sprigs. Where are we here?

I can't fucking find you. It doesn't matter. Anyway, there we go. Those look like picturesque. Pickeresque, they are. But like the other ones always tend to be a little too thick. And there's always some like rotted out ones. This was a good bunch.

Ooh, and smell. I've got a word question. Jeff said picturesque. Mike said pickeresque. Yeah. Now, I feel like both of these words exist, right? Me too. Could be.

I feel like pickeresque might be like a art term. Yeah. Picture as a photographer. I'm seeing Pickarest is... Pikachu? It's a

genre of prose fiction that depicts the adventures of a roguish but appealing hero usually of low class named after Piccaro. So Mike, were you saying

that this drink is reminiscent of Pickero himself? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Well, when you can't not think of Picrow when you think of this drink

No, I was saying Pickarest because I always thought sometimes I'll hear like old-timey words or read them from like, and think that's just how like it was said back then or, you know, turn of phrase. It's like, I don't care about this. Usually people say, like, I don't care about this thing whatsoever. But sometimes you'll read like a book, an older book. It's like, I don't care about that. Whatever. It's just a funny little way. And I thought Pickarest was one of those words.

I guess. I'm wrong. And I wish I would never use again. I like it. I say let him do it. Yep, I agree. Let them cook? You really cook with that.

I do feel like a cook when I'm in the kitchen. You're doing the math of that. Oh, I have a grievance to air about the limes on our tour. Oh, yes. Yes. Every venue, save the wonderful Minneapolis Zora darling, did pinwheel cut? Is that what they call it? where they cut the lime pole to pull, cut off the poles, then cut pole to pole, and then are doing

the thin slivers. So you look like you have a garnish, but you can't squeeze that thing without it folding and getting all juicy all over your fingers. It's more of a narrow slice, so there's not enough rind to cover the thumb. Yes. Those to me look so cool as the garnish, as just like a big wheel perpendicular to your rim. I think that is a cool, classy look. I know exactly what you mean, Jeff. There's nothing to do with that thing other than try to grab it with both fingers and smush it together like evenly. Your fingers are disgusting. Now look, Schrammer, a celebrity bartender, Jack Schramm told us once like, hey, you kind of rimmed the whole glass sometimes with the citrus.

Get the whole smell sort of going, but this is not what he meant. This is a mess. And I know what you mean. And one of you guys said, oh, it must be a saving money thing. Yeah, one of the gold dusty type things. You do enough. You came out or you came up, but you told us about gold dust, Jeff. It's like when a McDonald's would notice that like they'd have to use really precise measurements

because if you went over a certain amount at the scale that they're at in like thousands of restaurants, it's like all these little things. When you add it all together, it's a little bits of gold. Yeah, yeah. You're living and dying on gold dust, baby. Have you guys, you know in this modern age of people putting your intrus? son, Instagram. Well, you know, there's been like sort of that bird watching.

Oh, we should do bird watching as a blow up, by the way. I think that would be fun. Yeah. If we, the three of us went out and record our little goings-ons with the aviation world. Yeah. Yeah, birds are the aviation world, right? Sure. They're flying.

They're up there. And they ain't doing what the slug's doing. Slurbing around. Me and keep, me and keep that in. Yeah, keep that in. Why wouldn't you? Please, Mellin, can we keep that in, please? Oh, no, he's not going to keep that in.

We should start telling me what to keep in. Yeah, keep in from here until when I say here again at the end of the episode. Anyway, my point was this. You see on Instagram like, oh, yeah, a bunch of people our age or younger are doing bird watching. Or you'll see people like, oh, I got in a pottery or there's to that. Have you come across the people on Instagram who are panning for gold? There's panning for gold people out there. And yeah, you get little, just like anything, you get a little kit and you see the people doing it.

It looks so easy, but it's probably not. But panning for gold, I think it would be, if I could get gold, I would have fun doing that. That would be an incredible blowout if we could go up to San Francisco. Yeah. Wherever they go, in them, Thar Hills, with our little pans. And we start getting into those shallows. And we spend one day paning. I think that would be fun.

I would love it. Whoever gets the most gold wins. wins the scratch-off money. We've never really, as the sloppy boys, got to have that moment of the three of us coming down from mountains, flush with gold into the city and finally telling everyone to fuck off. Yeah, right. We never have that thing where we discover oil and we're quadripping with black oil and we're dancing around and we're like, fuck you, everybody. But coming back in and saying, fuck you, we're rich, fuck you, that's the part you want. We've done that bit, though, I mean, that activity without the goal.

We've certainly walked into place. It's got, fuck you. It just doesn't hold any weight is the problem. They say, what are you? You three poor idiots aren't we don't. We don't listen to this. Out. Out.

That would be very fun. I would love to do something like that. I'd pan. If anyone out there has experience or can point us in a direction to do a one-day pan, help us out. I feel like this would be a thing where you spent. and so much money on the gear and location and the scout to get you there that the gold you finally find is

pales in comparison. Mike, it but if it pays for itself, don't you see? That's what I'm saying, but I don't think there's going to be enough gold in their hills. What if you find the Comstock Lode Part 2? Now that's got, that's way too close to some nasty talk, Tim.

Load, come. Yeah, Tim, you're to walk that back, dude. Leave that in, Merlin. shit. Hold on back to my thing about us being covered in oil. That'd be a good cold open for the sloppy boys movie. Cut to us, three of us dripping in oil.

Yahoo! The sloppy boys movie. What are they going to do now, huh? That would be cool. Now anything can happen. They're rich. What if we're rich? We lived off that for like a month and we blew it all.

And then it was like, oh, fuck. Either we got to start a band and that's what this is. or we got to go back to the band. So we've blown all these bridges of like, fuck you, we don't have to play. We're not going to this venue anymore. You were a terrible venue owner. Fuck you.

Then we lose all the money. Then we got to come groveling back to get back into the. I like that. It starts off dripping with oil. Yahoo. And then it cuts to 20 years later. Sad harmonica plays. We're poor.

The beginning had nothing to do with whatever else is going to happen. This is back story. Just back to poor. Poor. Be funny. Poor unfortunate souls. A thing like that that's like classic like good news is striking oil. Imagine if you, if I did, if I was walking around Los Felas and I struck oil and it spouted out of the ground and it was all mine and I was rich.

And you're riding on the top of it. I'm riding on the top. I'm like a geyser. I don't know what I would do. Like you would then have to Google like, oh, I need a oil Derek. Yeah, true. I probably watch a YouTube tutorial on what to do when you strike oil. You're like, quick, please, quick, because it's spewing out of the ground.

I have no way to collect all this stuff. It's doing that cartoon thing. They don't have an oil derrick at Home Depot. No. I would, I definitely watch there will be blood just to be like, that's kind of not what I want to do. Right. Yeah, I'd watch a lot of things to figure out what not to do.

I would wear those big boots, though, that he has. That's one of the best parts of the movie. Oh, come on boots. Those big long boots. Come on boots. In the next one, I'll make dresses. We should have been his last line. Man.

The next one. The next one. What's he talking about the next one? When I first saw there will be blood, I didn't understand the milkshake metaphor. I was like, why is he talking about dairy beverages? He's going to drink his son. ice cream liquid. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And you didn't get what? It's a metaphor for oil. Yes, right. He's going to take some of your liquid. He's going to suck up some of that black gold that his son has. Was this the part where he did? Wait a minute. Tim, that's a break from the action.

He's just talking about a milkshake. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. He's just talking. Was this a scene where he puts the nap? He was talking about and doing very strange stuff. Yeah, I think it was kind of one of the PTA. I was like, do a goofy take and say whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. Fuck around.

We'll see what, maybe we'll keep some of it. Do you think of that phrase, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, did that start with the whole Clinton Lewinsky thing? No. No, no, no, no. Is that, I feel bad if I'm going to get this wrong. Is that Mark Twain? Well, Mark Twain is a riverboat term. Are you, was there also?

Oh, there's a, Samuel Clemens also used that as his name. Oh, God. Can you be mad at that? I'm seeing here that it is often misattributed to Sigmund Freud. But who said it? God, I don't, it's, it's, it's, it's, uh, Freud is edible. It sounds to me like one of those, uh, you know, the Chekhov's gun type thing. If you, is, is it a theater term?

If you introduce a gun. If you, act one, if you, there's a cigarette, then, I mean, a cigar, then an act. Then in act two, somebody has to smoke the cigar. Typically, if it's like it's a boy, someone gives birth, then they celebrate with a cigar. Yes, yes. And act three, someone's going to shoot that thing. Chekhov's guns.

Schrodinger's cat. Dunn's pissed. Tell you what? A friend of mine recently had a child. I go to a cigar store saying, hey, do you have it's a boy cigars? they didn't. What?

Wouldn't that been a great gift? Yes. I mean, who's got them then? If not a cigar store, then who? The cigar, yeah. It feels like the cigar for the non-cigar smoker or for like the, it's... This was like a cigar shop that had been like in this decade has become mainly vapes. That's what's happened to all the cigar stores, I think.

Can I have the watermelon jewel? This vape says it's a fuckboy. I don't want this. It's a hot girl summer and a performative male. Have you seen that? Those gender reveals, I don't really feel like people are doing it much anymore. But I've been seeing ones where it's like, you know, a cake. And you would think someone would just cut the cake to see if the inside it was pink or blue.

But they take like a wine glass and push it into the cake and then pull it out. I get that it's showing us the color. but it's like, well, that's got to be the strangest one to one there of like, okay, the cake's going to reveal it. And what we'll do is use a cup to scoop out the cake part. This doesn't make sense. To me, whatever.

Sorry. Sorry, Mike. That's all right. Do you think it would be weird to have a gender reveal party? Like, they're typically newborn kids that, or kids in the womb. But if I, at 43 years old, just felt like I've never really made a big deal out of my gender

and I kind of wanted to have some close personal friends over to my place. Have some wine and cheese and reveal that I am a cis male with a brick. The cake is blue. The balloons are blue. And everybody says, hey, it's not your birthday. It's not Christmas or anything. I'd say if you, go ahead, Jeff, sorry. You just get some gifts.

You have a good time. I think we all should do it. Yeah. If you've never had a gender reveal part. I think you can get circumcised late in life. And you can renew your vows of your married couple, so why can't I later on reaffirm my relationship with my gender? This is good. Always something to be thinking about, I think. Good on you.

I think it would be funny if an adult transgender person had a gender reveal party. Somebody must have, somebody must have done that. I'm sure that there's like a name for the type of party that is like your debutante ball of your, you know. Yeah, but I wanted to have like a goof. Firework or cake or something the way that they do for kids. Well, I'm sorry, Jeff. I think they don't have a goofy firework. No goofy firework for this one, Jeff.

Other events, we have plenty of goofy fireworks. All right. Round two. What do you do? Ah, ooh, I might pull back a little on that sweet. I like it. I think this is a very good drink. I already know my rating or my.

Mike likes it dry. But I want to just see if maybe, what was it, three quarters? Maybe just a half. Yeah, I might do that too, Mike. Yeah. I'm muddling everything this time. Yeah, me too. I'm going to muddle to the...

I'm going to crank the mint to 11 and muddle the fuck out of everything. Mine too, because mine's going south real fast. It's like it's going to be browned by this evening. This thing is sad. Limpy wimpy, mint. Poor guy. Why was I in the car all day?

I was supposed to get into the midgame. Oh. It's terrible. It lasts very long. All right, folks, we're going to make round two when we come back, the ultimate sip, second sips, and then the ultimate test, second test of final thoughts. Yes. Round two, whiskey smash. You'll notice I've changed, I changed out my crushed ice for the block ice.

Oh, I went kind of the opposite. I did my ball ice, my big ball ice thing. Oh, yeah. Ooh, the bowels. I dumped all my debris in from the shaker. I like it better like this. It's like a bog. Oh, yes, yes.

The dig of a bog. The dig of a system in there. And we did something, I think maybe the three dots in a dash or something like that was like, I like when there's a, where's a, there's a big mess in my drink. It's fun. Yeah. And then you, you drink it. It's so good. You smile to your friends and you got a bunch of green flex in your teeth.

Exactly. Hey, everyone. I'm happy because my drink is good. it. We're happy for you. Yee. This is great. I put a lot of mint and mush and muddled smash, a lot of mint, and pulled back a little bit on the, I was going to say, the simple syrup, which I think is better. I think it's better pulling it back to half. What do you think, Jeff? I did half too. I did half, and it's totally fine. If you're more of a sweet tooth,

go ahead for the full three-quarter, but this is just fine. This mint and lemon combo smashed and muddled, this is nice. This is really nice. What else have we had that has lemon and mint? I know lime and mint is majito. Lemon and lime is Sprite. Right. What's the Brazilian Casasca drink?

The BBL? Jav. Watch it, buddy. Watch it. Well, it really is a mashup between the. This is the mashup between the whiskey sour and the mint julep. Because one of our first drinks ever on the pot was a mint julep, and we were like, whoa, this is really just like bourbon, sugar, and mint.

It's pretty intense drink. The lemon, yeah. The lemon is a nice summary. This is going to be good for those dog days of summer, now I'm saying? Yeah, no, yeah. We're heading right for those dog days. I went to Sloppydrinks.com and I looked up. We got the south side is gin, lemon, simple mint.

gin, lemon, oh, gin, yes, okay, okay. That's the south side. The east side is lime and mint with cucumber, yeah. It seems like that's your lemon mint that we've done here on the show. Huh. Very good. Damn. What kind of bourbon do you guys use?

Well, I use Jack Daniels, which it calls itself Tennessee whiskey. It abides by all the rules that qualify for bourbon, but it doesn't call itself a bourbon. doesn't call itself. I saw that because they had a big sale bottle at Albertsons I was going to pounce on. I didn't do it. But I got, I got myself a nice campfire, no, sorry, high west bourbon. It's a blend. That sounds cool. It's a bourbon blend. In the high west, in the tall bottle, you love it. What did you do? I use bullet bourbon. I got myself a bullet. I want kind of a big bullet bottle the other day. I like a big bullet bottle. I know that they're not a great company, but no company is a great company.

Well, I don't even know anything about that. All I know is that it was cheaper. You can't, what's wrong with this company? There's too many companies that have too many damn things where it's like, every company's bad. I don't know what to do. It's corporate shit, Mike. Corporate shit.

I'm off corporate shit other than this bulletin. There's no ethical consumption under capitalism is my thing. That's your thing. No ethical, yes. Actually, no, here's my thing. What is it? I had a nice thing. You know how, going back to speaking of this.

tour we were just on where we fucking crushed eight cities. And yeah, we made a lot of money. We made a lot of money, but also those, uh, the venues love us. Thank you to all the slop heads for ordering a lot of drinks and tipping well. Because these, these venues always, even if it's like, hey, it's a Monday night show and it's going to be hard to get people out and stuff like that. We always have the bar staff being like, tonight was fucking awesome. I mean, well, let me shout out the Cleveland crew there.

Cleveland show is amazing. Everyone there was singing along, having a great time. I said to the bartender afterwards, I was like, hey, thanks for, thanks for the night. And, you know, we have a good group tonight. And he was like, this was, he like, all seriousness in his face. He's like, this was the best audience I've ever bartended. Everyone tipped so much. They were all so nice.

I was like, damn, that's awesome. And also what the hell else is going out there that, like, other people are, bartenders are so down and out about the audiences. Come on, folks. Be nice. I think that there's not a lot of bands out there that go, hey, everybody, who tip to bartenders, baby, woo. Yeah, yeah, we do tell.

No, but that's who I was going to bring up, that bartender. You know, a lot of venues, they give us like a meal ticket or drink tickets or whatever. I had a drink ticket. And my assumption, and I want to adhere to the rules is that when you have a drink ticket and you're in the band, it's usually draft beers, well, well drinks, keep it simple. And I remember, I was. was like, can I get a whiskey rocks? And he was like, what kind of whiskey?

And I was like, oh, I'm using a drink ticket. Just give me well. And then he went up and reached up to a top shelf, pulling down some of, uh, I saw him. He was like, he was like, uh, really stretching. He had to get one of those library ladders and slide down. The bar back even like gave him a boost. He was like, give me a boost to me. The bartend, the bar back's name was to me too.

And all their might, they reached up. And then he was up there so high on the shelf that he got. This kind of sucks. He got altitude sickness and there was not enough oxygen up there. So he's not really doing well. He passed. He passed. He's not really doing well.

In fact, he passed. It's a matter of fact. I should have mentioned he passed. Damn. All right, Mike, here's the best part of the show. Earlier I was saying the best part of the show is a drink of the day. The actual best part, everybody knows this right now. Hit him with those final thoughts.

The final? My final thought, T-H-O-T, that hottie over there, is this drink. I have been eyeing this thought across the room all my whole drinking life and never thought to approach the thought. Yeah. You have to approach. You got to approach. In this day, digital age with the apps and stuff, people aren't approaching anymore. You must approach the drink if you want to take a sip. And today I want to sip and I want to sip. And I want to sip. again. I will order again. This is fantastical. Very good. Michael drinking deeply from life. Yes. Yes. We love this.

Yeah. Ew. I'll echo your sentiments, Mike. I ain't never even heard of this drink. I just went along with what Tim was saying. Let's do like a good smasher with the muddler. We got a good thing going with the muddler and the wood selection. and the glass collection. And I don't know if I've had a better muddled drink than this.

So folks, use the back of a spoon. If you can't use the official sloppy boys muddler, get it going, start muddling. It's muddle boy summer. Definitely. Oh, shit. So it's not hot girl summer cocktail on at cocktails on Instagram. It's not after off.

Never was. Okay, well, for my review of the drink as listed on liquor.com, and in Jerry Thomas's guide and the drink that you guys had. Delicious order again. Now, as for me, unfortunately, a guy who doesn't own a sloppy boys mudler.

I had to use the back of a wooden spoon and I didn't have like a regulation muller. This was fucking disgusting. Because you guys, you released all the oils from the rind. Yeah. It was like, no oil.

So you dry? Oh, he sounds like an old model T. Oh, my God. There was no lube as I drink. So folks, I warn you. Like, it's not just about being cool or fashionable, but like, for your health, get a sloppy business butler. You've been warned. Come on out.

Boston, Brooklyn, Philly, the last three nights of the year, 29th, 30th, 31st of December. December, that's where the sloppy boys are going to be selling their muddlers. And now, you know, and from there, the sloppy boys will all be on the East Coast together. It's, it's the new year. Will they take another European trip straight out of JFK or LaGuardia? I like that. We'll see. Badger Bev's step up.

Who's going to step up this year and send the sloppy boys across the sea? If Badger Bev's doesn't want to send a skiing across the world, maybe Jeff will fund us. Jeff? Me? Yeah. No. What the fuck? Well, all right.

He said maybe. Okay, that's an option. It doesn't seem. It's an official no for me. Okay. Well, hey, I had to shoot my shot. It's months away. He's already official.

This kind of fucks us. But all right, Jeff. This is your right. And Tim, you got to reach for what you need in life. If you desire, you got to put yourself out there an approach. That is so true. If we can't make it to some exotic locale, What if we just did like the Poconos or the Vermont or something?

It could be fun. I'll tell you what. I'm eye in a Montreal skiing trip. That's what I'm my. Oh, my. Do I got to give you some Nordic spa recommendations out there in the mountains of Quebec. I can't wait to hear them. That's our show.

Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. We say it all the time. And here's the good. It's good we say it all the time because all the time, more and more people getting over the paywall, helping each other get over the paywall. It's the good version of the crabs in the bucket. They're not pulling each other down. They're pushing each other up over the paywall.

Yes. Helping each other. They're meeting each other in the Discord. They're meeting each other at the live shows. It's a whole scene. Folks, the sloppy boys LLC, it's a whole groovement. Now more than ever when you go over the paywall, you need to. to reach back that hand and help someone.

Now more than ever, 2026, we need help getting people over the wall, folks. Don't pull up the ladder behind you, drop it back down. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bring up your brethren. I never like to use these guys as an example, but think of the orcs when they came down on Elms Deat. Oh, folks, Mike hates using the orcs as an example.

It pains him to do this. But this is the only way to explain this. I'm not too clear on orcs. We should do... We're getting ahead of ourselves. But after the dog days of summer, after the dog days, once the dog has been put down, we should...

The summer dog is put down. People love this. Love this. That's when the autumn leaves start to change. And I think that we should maybe revisit the Lord of the Rings. I could see myself... As the geek shit hater of the group, I could imagine myself like November.

getting into some Lord of the Rings shit. And I want to say, yeah, Mike, the event that you referenced there, the orcs and Helms Deep. I think that's what it was. Yes,

I'm going to get so many damn DMs. I want to say that happens in film two, the two towers. Film two, what you're going to do? The orcs are coming. This is the theater or you. I want to watch.

I like when I regretted after our best sidekick blowout that I did. didn't bring up Sam, Sam Wise Ganges, and I think he's one of the best sidekicks. Could be your Webb Redemption moment. Yeah, yeah. It's about, I need Weber. You don't have your 2026 web redemption moment yet. Oh, shit.

Don't worry. We're going to get Daniel Tosh on. Daniel, if you hear this, come on the show, defend yourself and redeem Tim. Isn't it funny that, of course, Tosh is one of these guys with like an enormous podcast that millions of people listen to? Like, I've never, I haven't heard of that at all. Come across. I just saw a clip recently.

I was like, oh yeah, along with all of every stand-up is like, you know, he's got a, he's a huge. He's like a huge stand-up. Like one of those, like kind of what we're talking about recently where it's like, yeah, I don't see much of them. But then you see like, oh, he's playing this place and this place. That's big. It's like, if you're a stand-up, for whatever reason, the dude bro audience for stand-up comedy podcasts are so much bigger than like, we're not like an improv podcast or anything. But like, it's insane to me. The numbers that these like bonehead stand-up.

We're a culture podcast. Culture starts here. Yeah. Yeah, we're culture starts here. Yeah. Yeah, we're the new classic guys. Sure. Culture starts and ends here, I say.

This is the sort of where all happen. Folks, this is the end of the line. We love you. We'll see you next week here on the Sloppy Boys podcast. Smash or pass. Bye.