The Sloppy Boys - 309. Beatbox

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

BeatboxThe guys try those awesome new wines in the colorful little boxes and see if they're any good!Beatbox is available in select stores.WANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hello, audience. And Tim Calpacquez. What a he is up? Oh, and we're your host, The Sloppy Boys, expanding, and ascending and conquering live in person in Jay Boys living room. Yeah, it's been a while, Jay Boy since we've been here. I thought we had a saying for that.

It was like shade. Oh, yeah, right, right. It was like what, uh, it was almost like kind of. like a tiger. It was like Jay Boy's house. Oh, oh, like Daryl's house,

the TV show or something's going to It was a bit of a stretch. People didn't like it. Jeff, I like when you, uh, sometimes after you intro the,

the show, you go, ooh, and with this laughing, it's like, it's so painful. It's a painful. Here we go,

folks. They're going to be right by the nuts. Like you're birthing a new episode. Creation is pain. That's actually true. It is. That is true. What's going on with you guys?

I haven't seen you in 24 hours. I know. Geez. We all just got back from Big Bear. That's right. We did a Big Bear. Big Bear. We're sponsored by Big Bear like Badger Bev's.

We were drinking Badger up in Big Bear. It sucked. But we did watch Grizzly Man while we were up there. Grizzis. And there was scary stuff I'd never seen. Grizzers? Grizzes, man. And then, hey.

Dave Ferguson took us on the Alpine slide. That's true. That was very fun. Thank you, Dave. Well, we paid for ourselves, but we did it at Dave's insistence. But he offered to pay. Yes, yes. I just like that he's the dad and brought the three of us to do.

Also, that ride that had one of those things where there was a GoPro mounted on each of our carts so that you could then buy the video after the fact. And it's funny that in the cell phone era, they still let you, because they show you like a free preview and everyone can just record it on their phone. So no one would buy it anymore. But I saw it. recording himself like off the preview screen and he was like, uh,

dork. They do like a Disney world. They do, uh, they do like tell you not to take pictures of it and they'll like block it or turn it off. I remember that like in, in New Jersey,

in Wildwood being like shooed away from the screens if you took your phone out. Oh, oh, you won't get my extra 50 fucking dollars. 50? Sometimes if you buy a lot of them. You know what I notice?

Alpine slide. Because these rides, they're not quite. roller coasters, but you could lose your phone. You could lose your fucking mind, too. But you could take your phone out and take like a fun selfie all the way down if you wanted to. They suggest you to don't. No, they don't want that.

But here's what I noticed. There's little cameras all the way down, probably more for safety than anything. And the little GoPro, but I thought if you wanted to do it, if I was being a little Danny Ocean about it, you start screaming like, whoa. You put your foot up in front of that GoPro that they got mounted to the thing. that's when you pull out your own phone and you go, Hey, man, I'll do what I want, man. Do you have to go, whoa, before all that? They're like, whoa, this is too crazy for me to pull off a stunt.

It would be more convincing to the guy watching the monitor is going, hey, well, they did say, whoa. It would also be like you're cutting so much into your own enjoyment of the ride to get this video of yourself. Yeah, that's not like the fourth ride, wouldn't you know it all? Yeah, yeah. This is boring to me now. You've had your funny, you ready to be kicked out. It was funny. Like, we went on the first one that was just, no, it wasn't on a,

track, but it was like a luge. And you got to slow down or speed up your thing. So that's the alpine slide. Yeah. And then we also did the mine cart race. The mine cart. Right. Yeah. Now, was that a real mine and were people really mining with those cards that we used? I saw a canary in there. Yeah. And then the back of my cart when I was done, I was like, where did all this gold bullion come from? Just accidentally. Gold nuggets. Did you guys feel like Big Bear Lake, California is very close to L.A. It's like the closest place where you would go have a mountain experience. Now there was alpine architecture.

Did you guys feel like I had a sense of like, oh, this is real cute. I've actually been to the Alps. I actually went to the town. We went into the town to watch Long Beach Dub All Stars. Free concert in the park. Yeah, it was like a community event. Anyway, yes, walking through there, I was like, oh, this is cute. They're kind of getting it right.

I was saying all the villagers. I was like, yeah, in Zermott, we don't really do that. We don't really do this. People are collecting around. He's been, he's been. They were eating good food. I was like, actually in Switzerland, we don't really do that. That's not really how we like to do it.

He's been to the beautiful place. This pitiful town is based on it. Yeah, do you have any reindeer stews on hand? No, reindeer stew? No, we'll go to the airport, please. Hey, how about my hunter's stew, huh? That was good. Now, did you name it that or is that its name?

I named that that as a joke halfway through, but night one I made a big pot of beer brots with onions. But then every morning before you guys would arise, I'd wake up, put the pot back on the burner, turn it back on, and then bubble it all day and eat sausages. So then, like, by three, four days into the trip, it had just boiled down into like a dank stew. That was a lunch. That was a nice opportunity. completely salt-logged from the whole week. Then I also, late in the week, I had a new pack of sausages. I put a sausage on a hot dog bun and there's the topping.

I scooped some old sausage that had been chopped up and stewed. Those new sausages were like cartoon sausages. They were like red and like, whoa, whoa. I like the old ones because the old, the old sausage. Those are the days. Night one, you had so many sausages on the grill. I knew it was like, he's going to make a bunch and we're going to have some for the week. And then I look at the grill and there's probably about 60 sausages on there.

Oh, yeah. And in the pot, the pot's going all week, like he says. But day after day, you start dipping in there, the sausages start to look a little more like mummies. They're like, you know how sometimes you want meat that falls off the bone? This is like this, but no bone. Just falling apart meat. Meets falling off the meat, man. I went in, I was searching through there.

I found one of the brots. I recognized him. I was like, you're one of those brots from the first night. And he was like, I haven't been brought. I did, yeah, I did scoop in and underneath my scoop. It was like, ooh. Some spirits came scoop now. Also, throughout the week, I was making new sausages with Adam to the pot.

So they're generations. There's a whole hierarchy. It was like animal farm. Well, I, I don't know if you know this, Jeff, but I'm staying at Tim's house. Yesterday, I was sick. Very sick. And the day before I slept 14 hours straight. What the fuck?

I think it all had to do with being up in Big Bear and going. going in that hot tub. I think it all started with that hot tub. I had a touch of the tub myself. Because the next morning I woke up with a real like stuffy, conky, uh, conced, uh, junked, uh, junked, uh, junked. I said, kunky, but I don't know what that means.

Like conk. Like junky, uh, junked up stuff. Cunked nose. Conkers bad for a day. Yeah. I feel like, my hiker was full of conker. Because I think that getting sick from a hot tub and things like that are kind of self-fulfilling prophecies because I always feel like the guy that

calls it out is the guy that gets hit, you know? Yeah. And then if you're like me, you're like, I don't get sick, then you just continue to not get sick. There is, especially I just do notice that myself. If I'm like, am I getting sick? And then if I do something to take my mind off, I'm like, I think I'm fine. Yeah. Well, it's also funny because we were recapping the talking of the next morning, talking about the hot tub,

but it was like, some of us were saying like, oh, yeah, I feel weird because it was nasty in there. And other guys were like, yeah, because the chlorine was too strong. And I was like, well, those are exact opposites. You either had too much chemicals or bacteria. You can't have both. You would shower right after, and your arm would still smell like...

I made a habit of showering right after and soaping up every part of the body. Even the shins? Not the shins. No, no, just the hot spots generally. But the first day, we whipped off the top of that hot tub, and it was like...

Chlorine bath, stings the nostrils. Felt like I just ordered wings at Rustic. Ooh! That thing was a hot, stingy bleach tub. Then, then night. two, night three, you get in there, and you start to notice a little of the froth on top of that. That's not just bubbles. That's a bit of, that's a bit of froth.

That's a little dead skin. Some skin color, some lace of froth. We're all piled in it. We had six large men in a hot tub at one point. It's not a lot of water and we outnumbered the water molecules. So it stands no chance. So he had one to hold on to and then an extra. So we passed around.

But Mike, I do remember going up to like my chin. And that was the time where I got out and on the. I was like, ooh, I feel a little bit gunked and crunked. I'm swallowing when I'm in bed like, yeah, yeah. It's like those labored, like, whoop. But then after that, then s'more, I would only go, I would only go up to my hips. And those hips don't lie. Mm-hmm.

Now you're not even going to risk your chest? Well, do we get in some booze news? Booze news. Hattet it. And I didn't freak. It's corn. I didn't freak this time. Whoa.

It's corn. The corn kid. Watch shaken. What shaken. What's shaking. What's shaking. What's shaking. We all said it.

Corn Kid. The corn kid was sent to us by Henry Rose, or is it Harry Rose. Let me double check this. The Rose Matt. Harry Rose. Thanks, Mr. Rose. A rose by any other name. And if you have a booze news team, email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com.

Now that counts as fair use, right? You take a pop song and you put. Of course. A lot shaken on top of it. That's fair use. Now, what's shaken, of course, is the catchphrase of my enemy and my neighbor, the old lady who tears down on flyers. The Ripper.

Oh, right. We were saying that that's her podcast. What's shaking? That's right. What's shaking? Oh, I should, before we get to booze. Actually, I'll treat this as Booze news. Update on Tim's aggressive attitude towards the 65 plus community.

Yeah, you've had eyes on him because you're staying with it. Yep. We just parked on your block where, you know, last time we had a little bit of a rough exchange. Right. Old bitch versus fat pussy. Right, right. And two friends brought in me and the other guy's friend were. My buddy.

We sailed in your house unscathed. Safe. Wow. We didn't have to yell at anyone. No one yelled at it. Safe. Although I didn't, I haven't had any altercations with old people recently. But you know, my other thing, my other qualm is dog owners.

Yes. I was walking in Los Fields this morning. Big dude, taller than me, big guy looking on his phone. We're looking about 6-2 here. Cool guy, you know. A cool guy. He's walking and he has, I'm sorry, dog owners. I'm just going to say this type of dog grossed me out.

It was a huge poodle that had that poodle cut. Big balls, big balls on the hands. Big ball on the end of the tail. Big balls on the hands. But he was huge. They were taking up the whole sidewalk. And I was like, I just want to fucking kill that guy. Big man plus big dog.

Big man plus dog. And it was just that. Too much. What are you doing? Why are you and him? Gets to do his fucking Hummer age two. Honestly, even the dog just didn't have the haircut, I wouldn't have mind. But it was like, he's so curated.

What was the guy's haircut like? Big ball, boob. And his beard, boodle puff. Poodles are very smart dogs. Yes, yes. I know that. That's why people do the doodle mix a lot. Like a lot of smart dogs, they still, you know, eat their own shit and bark at any

nap at any noise out there. I was going by. mustard seed the other day and there was a dog I told you about table height sitting it was his head was table height it's just barking at the its owners and like the food on the tail like its mouth is like all the food and I it wasn't my place to say anything but I was like you're just going to let this dog bark I think I stepped over that very same dog when he was split out over the whole sidewalk and as I was halfway stepped over the dog owner half hardly said to the dog you're taking up the sidewalk you take it up the sidewalk all right what you're

want to do. Now, I will say, let me, let me, uh, I'm steadfasting. I love dogs. I love those canine critters. Let's call out the call out the good dog of the week. Otis, my girlfriend's dog, dog of the week. And also elevator company of the week, Otis. Oh. Wow. I also want to piggyback on when Mike said, I, I, I have several fur babies myself and I love all my dog goes and puffers. It is, I think, I think it's the owners need to take a little tighter grip on those leashes sometimes. Right. Now, Timmy, your parents own dogs. Did you grow up in a dog household? Yep.

How are you so anti-dog? Well, yeah, you would assume that he didn't experience dogs, but I think I was so dog-dowed-oh. You know what it is? It's this. I never thought of it this way. I grew up in the country. Yeah.

We're talking the cat skills. Hudson Valley, upstate New York. Beautiful land. My dogs were like indoor, outdoor. They do what they want. They never get into trouble. But they'll like run down the street. They'll come back.

We got food waiting for. them sometimes they're sleeping in the dog house sometimes they're sleeping in the house nobody cares are these bigger dogs or because your parents have shih Tzu's now right now my parents have shitsos and they treat them like humans but but at the time were they like bigger like labs yeah we had like a newfy like the biggest dogs we had a bunch of dogs new fee you had a new fee those are newfee huge ew the newfee used to do this thing where his he would have a string of drool dripping down real far like two feet and then he'd swing his nose around and the drool would wrap right the nose several times.

Like a Batman batter egg. Then he'd look at me and be like, do you like dogs? How you like me now, T-boys? So I think maybe my quam is with city dog owners. My problem is actually specifically with... City dogs. Men and their Tinder dogs that I got to deal with. Oh, your pupper's looks great.

I don't date those dogs. But the guy gets the dog so he'll look cute on the internet. Go for it, dude. But now he's like thinking, I'm going to stop my jog and pet your dog. They should have an insignia. You know, like a working dog? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Service dog. Service dog. A Tinder dog gets that best. Like, this one is so I can date. He wears like a sash with a big eggplant emoji. We do love dogs here on the show, though. Very pro-dog show. Okay, what's the actual booze news, Tim?

Now, this is exciting. The drink of the day factors into this news. So I brought it in thinking, oh, wow. This will give us some context and some relevance. We're not going to do. I'm going to play you guys a clip from TikTok, a compilation I made. There's a current challenge going on. We're not going to do it.

Okay. Nice. Because today is going to be a very refined episode. But just so you know the type of shit that's happening in the world, listen to this TikTok montage. Buzzball, beatbox, cook water. Buzzball, beatbox, cut water, let's do it! You got a beatbox, a buzzball, and a cut water, B, B, B, C. Bro, literally B, B, B, B, B, B, C.

Today we're going to be doing the BDC trials. Has anybody chucked up on them? Are they still with us? Did they survive? And we have nothing better to do, apparently. Why are we trying to give ourselves alcohol poisoning? Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

Nothing beats a Chet-2 holiday. We'll give this a 10 for 10. That's a pretty phone challenge. We're having a good time. And now we're about to order some pizza if I can get her to order some pizza. I can order some pizza. And we're going to call her tonight. This is me before the BBC challenge.

Buzzball. Feed box. Water. Sitting on the Twitter. Y'all, stay the fuck away from the motherfucking buzz bars. I'm telling y'all, the beat box is, them cut water, stay the fuck away from them.

Girl, I don't suck 20 bits. And it's on the 12 o'clock. Buzzball, beatbox, Cutwater Challenge, the BBC. Mike, don't say anything gross about British Broadcasting Channel. British Broadcasting Channel. Jeez.

Yeah. People are mixing all three of them together. Oh. Mixing it. Yeah, all three into a. a chug and then chugging and then they start off getting it actually tastes really good dude so they take the ball the box and the can the bbc the b and i would see i think they're each about the cut water and is about like two cocktails worth of booze i feel like the beatbox is about two glasses

of wine and then the beatbox i don't know that's probably like one strong cocktail but it's essentially chugging five cocktails and these are a lot of and this is like a lot of like a lot of like teenagers who seem like they don't drink because if they if they love the taste of this they're probably not like generally drinkers so it's a before and after type thing i saw a lot of people falling i saw a lot of people puking people in the hospital yikes and there was one clip in there there was some lady on the toilet oh oh lady lady but it's sort of a uh here we go you shoot both halves of it and you kind of go nuts that's uh hmm i don't know about that too much i don't know about that i don't know about that one It's funny because there is this whole trend going on right now with like, I've seen, there's people, I call them like parking lot drinks, but there's guys that are like mixing up a few things in front of a 7-Eleven.

They're like, oh, it actually tastes good. And then you have girls making their own dirty sodas and be like, yo, this is actually really good. And it's, I just don't buy into the idea whatsoever that combining like beverages that are finished beverages combined with like two other beverages. Like the taste has already been dialed in by professional. But Tim, where's your sense of, you know, authorship in your invention? Didn't you ever do a suicide? You go out to the Coke freestyle and you say, yeah, I want Coke, but I want a little bit of fucking cherry and a little bit of vanilla. Yeah, I did like those and they were good.

You can also call it an around the world, if you're saying to. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. Well, it's funny that you bring up the teenager thing because I feel like the drink of the day is going to have a lot of discussion about this, this very thing. Teen, like an underage drink? Yeah.

I feel like the, well, okay, that's it for booze news, right? Grab it up. That's it for boos news. Now, drink of the day, beatbox. You've seen them out there. The buzzball was probably the biggest in this craze, wouldn't you say? Yes, and in fact, buzzball before beatbox. Earlier this year, you guys actually mocked me.

I came in with the news. Buzzbox is the top RTD cocktail. It beat beat box and cut water, and you laughed. Wait, wait, wait, wait, beat box beat buzzball, you said? Buzzballs is number one. Okay, buzz, yeah. Yeah. I've been seeing a lot more buzz balls just out in the, I mean, obviously because it's popular,

but it really has taken, like, they're showing up in places I wouldn't even expect. It's funny that, like, they were a joke. They're like Crocs. They're the crock of, ready, RTDs. When Crocs first came out, you get, like, a pair for $10 at, like, a souvenir shop, like the Lakers. Now they're, like, $60 for the basics. Do you know that, you know, they're in idiocrycy?

And the costume are for idiocrycy. Like, Crocs were out. And they said, these are so unfashionable. they will never be cool. So everybody's going to wear these cheap-ass crocs. I can get them for everybody. And of course, 20 years later, post-Malone crocs. It's funny.

Miss Piggy Crocs. It's funny that Crocs kind of have that same, like they feed into that huge, you know, hookah, like fat shoe trend. The fat heel. Yeah. Interesting. I think also, what's the word for the little charms you put on them? Jibbets, giblets?

Jiblets. Jibits. I feel like that helped a lot. Before I saw that trend, I feel like I noticed them being worn by people that needed them for their job like chefs and people on their feet were like, it's actually the most comfortable thing. Well, you feel like a chef. And I'm going to make you. Under certain certain service. Now, so that just relates to people that hits them in the wanting to express themselves nerve.

Sure. They want to express themselves. We do it with music. Other people do it in different ways. They buy a charm for their shoe. You know, I have one of those little charms. I found it in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. It says,

Fuck you pay me. I don't wear that one very often. Maybe you're on the house. Good fellow's quote. I know, I know. It's nice to remember some of the classic lines from classic films, but still. Every time you look down on your foot.

Great film. Ooh, I got to check out some more Ray Leota stuff. Ray Leota? Is it Rayleota in? Rayleota. Rayleo. I thought he said Rayo. Mike, you got to check out Cocaine Bear.

He's in that, isn't he? Documentary. Oh, yeah. No, I'm thinking of cocaine cowboy. Cocaine Bear, I have seen. He passed. He passed. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that was cocaine. It was his last role, I think. Last feature film. I saw that in theaters, and I enjoyed. Me too. Well. So the beatbox, you've had. Not had.

Not had. You are good at beatboxing the act. You've heard outside of the pod or only on pod. Have you heard about them? Only on pot. I've seen him in the wild, too. Oh shit. Being consumed or on shelves of a supermarket?

Getting it? Collecting, collecting dust. Collecting dust on shelf. Okay, so the history of this one is a little bit of a startup bro drink. As you can imagine, this is a wine-based drink. Really? Buzzballs and cut water have liquor in them. Okay.

Beatbox is wine. It's a box of wine. Oh. But it's like a juice box, a big boy juice box. A tall big boy juice box, but it is 11%. The alcohol is coming from grapes and then other flavors are added. So folks, these aren't your minute made. These aren't your sips.

And it ain't a bocou. Picture a boc. Picture, I'm saying. Yes, picture a bocoup. Do a picture. But it ain't one. But it ain't one. But it ain't one.

Picture it for a little bit. You can remember that because Richard Lewis, who promoted Boku. So sorry, Mike just keeps hitting my almost dead plant and I'm afraid he's going to knock the very last leaf up. This is a cartoonish. That one leaf is like so. It looks like the emoji for a guy. He's stretching my arm over and hitting the fiddly thing.

What happened here? Jeff, you only got three little leaves out of it. That thing used to be lush. You used to bang your head on it, remember? I know. One too many tours. Yeah. Plants fall into disrepair.

I'll tell you something. I came back from tour. My hanging plants were all writhered and, oh, we haven't seen the sun or touched water by catapus. I'd put them in the shower. Dushed them. Dushed them. doached them two days straight. They came right back.

So you can just get all the water that you've been holding back. You can just give it to them all. I thought you can't overwater. I thought it was bad to overwater. I guess the whole botany thing's pretty easy. It's all kind of fucked. You need a drainage hole. Tim.

Back to you. So it's not coming from a, as you can imagine, it's not, it's not Somali is developing this thing. This is more startup bros. Kind of like two guys and a girl who are like our age-ish. And it's like late. 25, 27. Yeah, exactly. But at the time they were, in the late like aughts, I think they graduated like 2006 or something. But they, their story is very startupy. It's like, we were drinking a bottle of wine and we were like, this is boring, bro. We should kick this up a notch. So they came up with the idea for, they called it winery energy. They came up the idea for caffeinated wine. So then it took some time being like, we got to do that caffeinated wine thing. And then,

They moved to. So they haven't heard of a cali-mocho? Thank you, Jeff. And what about the other one? Got them. What about the one? Sprite and wine. We did that.

Sprayed line. Yeah, what was that? That was only like a few weeks ago. We did that. Hey, folks, it was Tinto de Verano. Back to the show. Well, anyway. Anyway, these guys moved to Austin, Texas because they're like startup bros and

they're going to business school there or whatever, which is funny because Buzzball is also from Texas. Mom and son. Mom and son. And when we did our Buzzballs episode, we were in Austin of all places. That's right. And people were like, home. So here's what that happens is the caffeinated alcohol gets, is illegal in that time, made illegal because of Four Loco.

So they have to pivot. So they're like, what are we going to do with our winery idea? And it becomes something called boombox where they're taking, they make a box that looks like a boom box. And they're, they're testing it out by just doing like crystal light and vodka or something. But they have booze like Francia, but it's in a boombox shape, and that's going to be their big product. Very smart branding. And I see how you get to beatbox from there. But a box of wine that looks like a little stereo.

That's very cool. And it held like seven bottles of wine. And it was like a whole thing. So in like 2016, they go on Shark Tank, pitch their boombox idea and Mark Cuban buys in for a million dollars. Oh, a million. Then they go, they do it and it flops. Mark. Oh, Mark.

And then they realize the problem is no one wants the type of audience that is buying this type of thing, doesn't want to spend 20 bucks and buy a big boom bucks. So they pivot to the single serving. Little boom boxes. Little wines. But this is all about the flavors, blue raspberry fruit punch. These are wines for kids. This is smart also because you get to try the different ones. You get to have one and then pivot to the next one.

You're not stuck with the big boom box of blue raspberry or whatever they have. Right. That's interesting. I didn't realize there were going to be like, you know, 90s wild kid flavors. Yeah, it's 90s kid stuff. Damn. It's all of the flavor. And early on, they actually had.

There's a Shaq flavor if I'm not mistaken. Shack helped it like Shaq bought in and then also did the blue raspberry or like the blueberry lemonade flavor, I think is Shack a couple years ago. And that made it big. But early on the flavors, they had drunky names. It was like, call a cab for the cabernet, you know? Or it was like. I'm surprised they even had a cabernet.

They had a Sauvignol blonk out, like blackout. Oh, come on. And then Zinfidel was Sinfadel. This is really, really early on. Sure. Okay. It seems like... That's when they had caffeine.

It seems like, oh, okay. It seems like now they're not even trying to pretend it's wine. It might be wine-based, but it feels like... It feels like it's a dirty little secret that is wine, honestly. Yeah. Like, you're just supposed to be a kid drinking illegally and drink these. Because these are also the most colorful juice boxes. I can see why a kid would just reach for this juice box.

Right. If they can't use Joe Camel to advertise cigarettes, they shouldn't be able to use such tantalizing colors. That cock knows camels. It's funny now because now on the, on the, though they, they, they shift the name, somebody had patented boombox. So they became beatbox. But on the shelf now. Who's running? You can't use that.

On the shelf now, there's like franzia fuel or whatever. Like there's a few imitators are there. I mean, it does very much seem like it's for kids. But then to end the story, what makes it huge is just last year Anheiser Bush, the hugest conglomerate, bought it. So now it's just everywhere and it's enormously huge. It's funny to me to think of like boxed wine, how maybe that was Boku maybe an attempt to doing this a long time ago? Yes. That was juice box for adults.

It seems like this juice box for adults idea was like it should have been happening. Do you ever drink those waters from the cartons? Boxed water? I have before. That's Jaden Smith. It is? Oh, no. Jaden Smith is just water.

Oh. But that's also, I want to say, in like a weird bottle. Box water is like, if you go to a general meeting at like a production company, and they're like, yes, we have boxed waters. It's like, this is. You know what? Coffee shops. It's a way of having something that looks coffee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I miss? You'll remember this. This is very like, almost Indy Sleez era, Fredwater. Remember Fredwater? What was that? They came in almost like, a flask-sized. flask shaped thing.

They were at the Ace Hotel. They were at like every birthday boy's sort of premier thing we had. Those would, I would use those to run because they were really easy like they were nice to hold on. Yeah, it was like a hot water bottle. It was like when you buy like a booze that's not like the huge one or a nip. Oh yes. I remember this is a flask of water. Man.

The packaging, the thing about like packaging, like so many alcohols come out that like The packaging is such a huge deal. It was one, a couple of years ago that came out and like, no, you know what? I'm thinking of something else. It was like a sunscreen that came in like a milk thing. It was just like, oh, that's not what this usually comes in. Just sell any liquid in any one of the other containers that's not usually. We should sell it.

The first beer in a bag. Beer in a bag. It's a sloppy boy's beer bag. Whip-sh. Woo-hoo. A-e. So these buzzmos, they're 11% alcohol. Be-pots.

They're great. Oh, yeah, beatbox. They have tons of flavors. I bought the seven flavors they had available at Albertsons and Los Phila's. I think that after the break, we should bring them in here. We should each get one, but then we'll also pour each other sips and sip them all and sip them all. Tim, I was just over at that Albertson's buying a travel size, Sincidine toothpaste. That's unbelievable.

Jeff. Great. It's good podcasting. Folks, we're going to take a little break, and when we come back, we're going to crack into the boxes, man. Then, we're half on the bear. Beatbox is all lined up on the coffee table. Tim, what do we got? Pretty Maids all in a row.

Yeah, they look cool. Okay, we have seven flavors. We have blue raspberry, which is sort of the flagship. It's the only flavor that's been there from the beginning and still exists. Then we have fruit punch, another classic. Juicy mango, orange blast. Oh, good. Pink lemonade.

Sherry Limeade. And finally, Shaquille O'Neal's own blueberry lemonade. The shack man. These look really inviting. You would be the coolest kid at the lunch table pulling one of these out of the sack. Yeah, and the drunkest. Mike. Sorry.

If you're a kid, that's extremely appealing. Just like those colors on that thing. And that's what they said on Shark Tank, even though it was still the big box, Mark Cuban was like, you're not selling wine. You're selling fun. Okay. Yeah, yeah, right. And you can see, like, there are kids who collect different colors of prime energy or whatever that shit is.

Weird. You know? Yeah, no, I know. I've seen that behind YouTubers just showing off. Yes. So I feel like there's a prime to beatbox pipeline. They're trying to take it. All right.

Okay. Let's do a flavor draft. Here's what I'll say, just because I've been sick, we probably should. I probably shouldn't be putting my mouth. Just pour into your glass. Yeah, pour into your glass. Good call. Me?

Cherry Limeade. me? Blue raspberry. Me? Man, since I'm sort of the psychedelic jock, I might go with the Shaq flavor. I guess he is. I mean, have you seen clips of Shaq DJing?

Yeah. So he's kind of... He's psychedelic. Okay, I'm popping it open. Smell? Ooh, interesting. Okay, comes out blue. That's another funny thing.

They probably don't like intend you to pour it. Yeah. Like this is blue with like a gray tint. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Sips.

Oh my God. That's a lot of taste. Mm. Synthetic. That is, I mean, I wouldn't guess it's wine. I don't know what I'm getting so much blue raspberry. Sort of the classic blue raspberry that you would expect from, is it a rocket pop where you first would have had blue raspberry? Yes.

this tastes like a, yeah. Let's go around Robin. This is very melted popsicle tasting. Okay. Now I'm trying the, Jeff, what do you try it? I did cherry lime made and it was, uh, it felt like a 3D printed drink. Yes. Yeah, that's a good way put it.

Okay, now we're each tasting a second flavor. Blueberry lamb is passable. Oh, Jeff's is repugnant. The cherry limeate is fucking nasty. Um, yes, Jeff, this tastes like a fake drink. It also, let me try this one. When I think wine with this one, I kind of am. getting a little bit of like white wine in a bad way.

Okay, so we're all discussing cherry lime made. Is that it? Ooh, it's nasty. Bad, right? Yeah, it's like, cherry lime made bad. The flavor's there, but then it's got like a plastic backwash to it or so, like a plastic, second taste or something. It has a non-edible taste to it.

Tim, why don't you cap that one? Put on the ground. Yeah, that one. Ooh, yeah. The ultimate insult. That one's going down on the ground. Wait, so we all hate Jeff's the cherry. Limeon. Have you guys tried my blue raspberry?

I have. It's not Jeff's cherry. You chose it in the draft. Yeah, the flavor that Jeff came up with kind of socks. I did try blueberry lemonade. Mike, did you? Yes. Okay, now, let me try shack and then we're all going to discuss shack at once.

Okay. I'll take another sip of shack. Shack juice. Pass the shack. You think we'll be able to dunk after this? Hey, past the rock. We'll be dunk in these empties in the garbage, hopefully. Okay. Shack, here we go. 11.1 alcohol.

I mean, after the cherry lime made, a shack tastes delicious. I mean, it's still, it's very strong with the lemonade flavor, but less fake food, less synthetic. Are you guys getting blueberry at all? A little bit, but it's, there is a tartness to it that's kind of, just the interesting. The faintest whisper. It's not totally nasty. Not completely nasty. I can't imagine drinking a whole one of these.

It doesn't feel like there's any funny business. going on. I don't feel like I'm being manipulated in the same way and with Cherry Limeade. And Jack's a kind of a funny guy. I think also Shaq probably tried all these and said, this one isn't nasty. I'll put my face on this one. Yeah, that's true. I heard a podcast recently about like Shaq and how all his businesses and stuff. And he is a guy who like, if it's something he likes, he puts money into it. He has like a chicken sandwich place. I think so. He's got like a ton of if it's something he likes. So he really does stand by it. I think so. I think That was his whole thing.

It's sort of, he's sort of like the sloppy boys LLC. I, yeah, we should have mine. I assumed it was because of the color scheme

because the blueberries are sort of, it's got a purple hue and it looks like Lakers colors on that box. Yeah, yeah, and I'm a proud Angelino. Right, well, blueberries aren't purple,

but okay. But they are in that box? They're kind of purple. Okay, blue raz. Do we all do blue raz? Yeah, blue raz is kind of funky. Let me pass me that thing. I think that blue,

blue raz, it's at least I'll say that, That's a fake flavor. It's 90s kid fake. And it tastes like the fake flavor, you know. Nostalgia? Yeah, it's just a lot of it. It's just a lot of taste.

And it looks more like, ooh, that's a lot of taste. They're all a lot of taste. But hey, if you want that 90s, if you want like blue slush puppy juice. You remember slush puppies? It's like kind of the worst snow cone you can get. But it's everywhere, but I'm nostalgic for it. This is that fake blue baby. Those were, I would always, when I had a slush puppy, I would put the, like the straw to the bottom and drink all the color out.

And then I would just have like a cup of ice, like slush. Yeah, yeah. It was sea through and it was nasty. But then again, the icy isn't much better because it's icy spicy. You're insane. The icy's way better. Ice is more slurpified. Slurpy rules.

Icey's all piled up. The cherry icy is spicy. Okay. Now, whoa. Okay. You might be alert. might be allergic to whatever's in there thinking. I might get hurt my thought. Okay, now we have four flavors left to taste. I would say having just had the first three, so far, my first thought is,

as with any RTD ready to drink package cocktail, I always think they're weird out of the box and they should be consumed on ice. Cut waters, beatbox is always better. My first thought was shaken on ice, this would be much more delicious. You can tell it. It's like not the way it's supposed to be served. You're supposed to be holding this fun box in a back alley getting drunk. I mean, same thing with buzz balls. It's all about the shape of the fucking... Yeah, it says on the back, you might want to shake on ice, but that's not the way. It says that's not the way. No.

Oh, notice on the side of the package it says, world's tastiest party punch. I was listening to a podcast with the founder, and he said, you know who gave us that tagline? Rob Deirdick, he's also an investor. That is pretty ridiculous. Well, what about big? All right, let's try that punch one. Okay, yeah, fruit punch feels like the last of the classic e glug, glug. Fruit punch was a little bit of a teaky freak motif.

Yeah, that's a fun, fun design. Smells good. Oh, man, but again, but again, 90s fruit punch. Smells like red 40, like straight red 40. Here we go. Oh. Okay. Gentler than the others.

Gentler for sure. Has a little more of like a wine. Nope. I was going to say you can taste the alcohol a little bit more. but nope. I think we could safely say best so far. Fruit Punch is an iconic taste. It kind of naturally goes best with wine. I feel like you're not fighting the wine. It's kind of holding hands with the wine. Sunny delight taste. It's got like the little like the end that the aftertaste is a little chemically. This is the same thing,

but it's not as, uh, it's not a stinging. And Sunny D for as stingy as it is, it's got a milky opaque mouth feel. Yeah. These don't have that. These are nice and a runny. God, Sunny D is disgusting. I like Sunny D. I'm going to be. make a cocktail with Sunny D. Mike. Smart. Like a Sunny D screwdriver. Well, that's a sunny D. I guess feel the buzz yet?

No buzz yet. These are not good. Jesus. I do want a little more fruit punch before we move on because I feel like it might be the high water mark. Yeah, enjoy yourself with that. Coming up next is juicy mango, which on pod, we have been shaming the food industry as a whole for having too much.

Mango is delicious, but mango flavored things, there's too many of them. When you're sick, maybe don't blow on the inside of the cat. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Now, what was the reason for blowing on the inside of the cap? Well, when I first picked up a cap, there was a hair on one of them. So now I'm like, you swapped out the hair for a germ. I'm looking out. Okay, Jeff, how was that a fruit punch sip?

It's sitting pretty, Tim. Okay. So, so far the ranking is fruit punch, then blue razz, then blueberry lemonade, then down on the floor, cherry limeade. Jeff's choice in the draft. And now all asterisk's blue. Raz because I do think it's second place, but it's sort of got one of those like, if you're into it, if you're in, if you're chasing that fake blue fix.

I mean, and that's kind of the chase. It's not going to be everybody's part two. No, no, no, no. But I can already see a theme for me. Those are like straightforward flavors, blue raz, and fruit punch are classics. When they tried to get cool, they fucked up. Well, I guess cherry light, Limeid exists in Ricky form and stuff, but I've never had blueberry lemonade, no what I'm saying?

Mickey. Okay. Okay. Do you don't lose my juicy mango. This one I feel like is going to be good. No, I'm really looking for that orange, actually. Juicy mango.

This has the look of a red bull to me. Yep. It's Red Bull golden piss colored. Yeah, it's like if you haven't had a drink of water in a week. Here we go. Ooh, light. Ooh. I mean that as a compliment light, because normally I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

think mango is overdone. This is also like a pair of the others. Like the flavor is just not like all right in your face. And whiny. More whiny. You know what? I think that in my research, I read that the wine they settled on is the basis for all of these is like an

orange wine. And that may kind of hold hands best with the mango. Now, orange isn't orange. The fruit. It's based on skin contact. That's very true. Very, very true.

I won't elaborate any more than that. But orange wine is based on skin contact. He doesn't have you, folks. If you want him to elaborate, find him out in public, corner him, ask him. But I'm pretty surprised because I'm not going to say I like this, but I was ready for Mango to be my least favorite. But I would say the execution is not terrible. Did I hear somewhere that legally liquors and alcohols don't need to have like contents?

Yes, isn't that weird? That is weird. This just says premium Other than standard orange wine With natural and artificial flavors Sweetened with sucrose certified color And yellow number five Other than standard

This one to me This is the number one spot for me Wow Shocking I'm gonna say I'm still a fruit punch guy But this one I gotta give it up I was ready to hate it It's not the worst of the mango tastes I've had

And it's kind of works with the orange wine It's funny the fruit punch doesn't say red number five, it says certified color. They probably got rid of red five. Red five standing by Star Wars. You got to watch that. Jeff? What?

Have you seen? Yes, I accept. Probably my boy, RFK, got rid of the red five. Red 40, blue five, right? Or yellow five. I'm sort of thinking like, juicy mango is a light entry for like number two. If you're not in for like Crazy Town flavor blue raspberry, you might be in for like the light juicy mango.

I think it's an illegal all of it till. Okay, next up we have orange blast, which is decorated with musical instruments, and we're a band. Hey! The color is very orange. Look at that. Now, a lot of people are thinking, well, orange flavor is going to go well with orange wine because orange wine is made from oranges. No, Jeff just told you, it's skin contact grapes. Here we go.

That's right. Sips. Ooh, this, assuade by the smell, oh, oh, God. That's kind of got that sting again. It tastes like orange flavored medicine. I remember 80s triuminic. It was what it was called triuminic. Mike, you currently have a bottle of dayquil on my coffee.

This looks like watered down dayquil. Yeah. This kind of tastes like it too. Nostalgia in a bad way. I thought you wouldn't mind a glass of dayquil over this stuff. I would like some acetaminophen. Although you shouldn't have acetyamenefin and alcohol at the same time. Bad for your liver.

Good to know. Bad for your liver. Bad for your guts. Good for your butts What do you guys think of this? Orange Blass Bottom tier It's just that's down there

Chemical aftertaste is so I think it's the citrusy flavors Where we're getting stung Huh? On all these The cherry lime made down on the floor You're right You're right

I'm also trying to think of what box I like the best Because these are a big part of it's just a look I like the boxes I think they look cool And if I were 16, I would... You'd line them up behind you when you play Fortnite. Yeah, I'd be excited by the...

This was so weird, though, because it's still not like you... When you're a teenager and you haven't acquired a taste for alcohol, you want to drink like vodka and a chaser, just get it over with. So I feel like I wouldn't even savor these. Like, even though they've layered it with kid flavors that would have been familiar to me, I feel like I would still, like, be like chugging and chasing. Doesn't this seem like a weird drink to start with? Like in the...

Like, if you were out at a bar or something, I would have something to get me a little drunker first before I'd... Start the night. This is a great... Start your drinking career. Great. Start the night. Bad.

My mom just reminded me of a funny story. When I was in, I think, kindergarten in first grade, I went to a friend's house. And their parents called my parents were like, hey, I think you should probably come and pick Mike up. because the kid's name was, I think the kid's name was Tim. He was like, he's not really doing so well. And what had happened,

we had both gone into the kitchen and in the fridge, there was a box of wine and he was drinking someone. I think I probably had some too because it would be, I don't know, but he got like sick to go. How old was it? Like, kindergarten first grade. Like it was really young. And I remembered another time too with this kid.

No, he was out of school for a week because he like ate a hand will change. So he was prone to find him. I would be lined up in front of that kid's bathroom thing saying this kid's going to pay. This kid's going to pay out any minute. This is my meal ticket

baby. Like somebody you can't tear away from a slot machine. Okay. The seventh and final flavor, because I didn't buy green apple because you could only get as part of a selection pack that had too many beatboxes in it. The final flavor is pink lemonade. It looks like your

typical pink lemonade. It smells good. But we've learned, but we've learned, looks can be to see. They are not good at citrus. So here we go with lemon. Probably the worst box, too. Faky, but not bad. Yeah, not as bad as, not egregious. Kind of mellow on the nose and then afterwards a little sting, but not. You know what? Cherry lime made was so clearly the worst by a mile. I'm going to go back to blueberry lemonade and just those first. The blueberry lemonade, no, maybe it was just the blue raspberry. Like had such a big taste. These, these, these, these, that one and the mango and even the orange. Don't really have like such a punch in the face. Yeah.

And predictably, pink lemonade and blueberry lemonade are nearly the same. Oh. Shaq. Jack. Would you say that one has more of a blueberry taste, the other has more of a pink taste? I would, Tim, I would. What is in normal world, what is pink lemonade? Is it lemonade with a little bit of red food coloring?

Yep. That tricked me as a kid. I remember being at the Olive Garden saying, I love the pink lemon in here. Maybe grenadine? I love it in here. Renadine. I wonder.

I mean, Grenadine is Red 40 influenced. All right. Well, do we do a... I'm not looking around the room and seeing a bunch of excited dudes. No. Are you guys getting hit by the buzz like I am? A little bit, but I can't tell if I'm just kind of sick.

For most. For me? drinking all these weird things. You came in saying that you knocked out the sickness by resting and now you keep saying I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick. Well, first of all, you said I was sick when I was blown on that thing. And these I mean sick just to my stomach. Okay.

The only thing I've eaten today is the foods that Hanford has brought into my house and left on the counter. I have your cookies. Oh, yes. I had one of your Pillsbury Oreo cookies. That's right. Now, folks are probably thinking it's an Oreo cookie. No, a pilsberry.

No, uh, Oreo flavor. The Pillsbury doughboy himself made those Oreo cookies. Well, I woke up this morning. I was like, I should get some of my stomach before I go for a walk. What will I get? Oh, Mike has bananas and peanut butter. I'll have that. Then a little later, it was about lunchtime.

And I said, I got to get some of my stomach. There's some leftover riko chichi that might like me. I'll eat that. And then on the way out the door, I had one of Mike's kind of like a nutra grain bar. Not a nature's valley. Oh, the protein. The strawberry nutra grain bar. So you got that filling.

I used to love the apple cinnamon Nutra grain bar. Yeah, those are pretty good. Oh, you know what's a, I bet would be good is toasting those up a little bit. A Nutra grain. That's cool. Yeah, that would be cool.

A lot of the foods you brought into my home are very nostalgic. I don't buy Nutra Green Bar. I don't buy Jif Peanut Butter. I really don't buy breakfast. He brought in some bubble tape and some Hawaiian punch. I'm pretty much not eating breakfast

unless I say, Tim, have three eggs, and then have three eggs. I mean, I'm a breakfast man. I'm a morning eater. I'm doing bananas, then coffee, then eggs, probably toast. You stewed to it? Eggs in the hole? It's labor intensive, Tim. Yeah.

Special occasionally. But the panache, Jeff. If you kick off the day with a little panache. This is actually probably a good time to ask us. So you have been eating the peanut butter because I opened it the other day and I saw a big divot and I said, well, I don't know what to think now because I don't remember doing this. And then also the Mac salad I bought, also I opened it up. Did you eat anything of that?

No. That was like open. So I was like, what the fuck is wrong here? So then I thought the peanut butter. I had, I was fixing to get into the Mac salad and I forgot. I had intentions. Now, do either of you wake up in the middle of the night, go to the fridge and poke around and sort of raccoon around the fridge? No.

When I was 13 on vacation of my family in Maine, I woke up in the middle night and in my tidy witties went down to the car. Why? Wait. Sleepwalking? Yeah, and Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Oh, that's the beginning of an Unsolved Mysteries-esque story. And it was like my dad followed me out. And truly, tidy whitey's middle of the night,

trying to get into the family minivan. My dad was like, Tim, what are you doing? I was like, I was like looking for a new sheet or looking for a pillow or something like that. Some nonsense. I remember as a kid waking up. I'm surprised you didn't get lured out by some sort of Skinwalker. It could have been. Oh, what if you did?

What if he had an alien experience? That's kind of in your... What if the real Tim disappeared that night and the Tim we're talking to now is nothing but a... Oh, shit. A weird doppelganger.

We only knew this Tim, though. So he's real to us. He's the same to us. We prefer this one. They better not switch him back. We're left for this weird choppelganger. I love a chopper gang. That's so funny.

Should we take a break? Let's take a break. Folks, we'll be right back with more whatever this is after this. Got me drunk man. Back round two talking beatbox. Beatbox is in hand held far away from nose and face. Man, so I'm sort of dreading going into round two because I only like maybe one and a half of these.

Now it's time to pick. We're going to do, we did our first draft. Jeff blew it. Now we're going to do our second draft. Having taste them all, we're going to see which flavor you're going to take to drink in the home stretch of the show to shut it all down. If you had to pick one to take to the day. dome. If you had to buy one, you're like, I'm going to drink this at the pool party. Yeah. I think we would

all go fruit punch, no? I would. Yeah. Well, no, I'm still torn. That was, uh, mango was my time. Wow. You like it a mango? I like it a mango. Be my guest to have the mango. I'm going to mango. Jeff, I'm going to let you go fruit punch

because I'm going to go blue. Well, I don't want to go fruit punch because Mike basically coughed in it. Oh, well, he's staying in my house, so I've already got enough of his germs. So, you're going for it? I'm taking it. all do blue razzle. Be the 90s kid. Oh man, this sucks.

Well, we did, folks, we did add ice to the glass, which is going to sort of crisp things up. I'm poor in mind. I'm going to let it get melty. First of all, hold these fucking drinks up. Disgusting. Electric neon color. Electric red, green, yellow.

Do you remember booze news? This one? Familiar? Today's? Yes. I was talking about the BBC. Buzzballs, Beatbox, cut water. I think that.

it was a misnomer when I was like, oh, these are about like two drinks each. This beat box is a pint. So it's 16.9 fluid ounces. A serving of wine is at this, it's a 11.1 alcohol by volume. A serving of wine is usually like five ounces. So this is three glasses of wine in each. Oh, wow. And I am, just from taking the sips in round one, I am starting to think.

And these are $3.99 each same price as a buzz ball. So. Wow. So three glasses of wine for four bucks. That's pretty, that's a bang for your buck. I remember drinking the skinny girl margarita, ABV is 12.7. So about this slightly stronger, the skinny girl.

Right. Now, I happened to polish off a bottle of skinny girl myself the other night. In one sitting? Yeah. That's probably two of these, two beatboxes. But I didn't feel like completely fucked up out of my gourd. Really? Really?

We were you by yourself. No. That would be depressing. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. No. All right. On ice, much better. Much, much better.

You can take swigs without being like, oh. Yeah, even the slightest bit of meltiness that we've already got helping. Oh, I imagine, especially with the mango, that's got to be light as a feather. Speaking of the mango, did you guys know that Chris Katan broke his neck on S&L live on the air? Really? Yes. it's funny because I've seen him recently and it does look like he kind of moves stiffly

he had all these like secret neck surgeries and stuff but he was in a sketch broke it on air I've seen the clip he's like sitting in like a he's playing like a kid sitting at a kitchen table or something he falls backwards he hit his head he's all juiced up from the adrenaline of live TV

that he didn't care and then like it became apparent that he had an injury then it turned out it was like a broken neck and he had neck surgery after next surgery and he's still acting and like crunching that broken neck around and he's like a big moving around God,

yeah. David's made also this neck problem when he was a kid. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, there's also

nasty even like Lauren Michaels like paid for his like first neck surgery but not any after that but it was also like keep it hush, hush and don't really talk about.

But like that's part of the whole you're like, you know, Chris Kadanan, what's he put it up to? S&L it's like he's been getting neck surgery. Wow. That's crazy.

Man neck stuff, back stuff is the worst. What about pussy and crack? Um, those are fine. Um, um, Tim,

you have a little back. Back stuff. I have a little back stuff. I was on a jog in 2016 and I slipped the disc. Oh, really? Yeah. And I went to a fancy Beverly Hills back doctor. He gave me an MRI. I've talked on pot about how I had my first, or maybe not my first, but I had a

claustrophobic freak out in the MRI machine because they're like, Tim, are you claustrophobic? I was like, no. And they're like, you're going to be in a real tight spot for 40 minutes. I'm like, that's fine. I've been turning tight spots my whole life. And they go, would you like some music?

I said, yes. They said, what type of music you want? I said, rock. So they sent me in the machine and then they played

Elvis Presley, five songs in a row. Won't you be my teddy bear? Hey, my blue sweatshues. And I was like, get me the fuck out of here? And they pulled me out and I had to start over

from the pandemic. So that sucks. It's like, if you're, you know, they're like, we'll take you out at any moment you want to come out,

but you will have to start from scratch. I am. Sucked. Well, to brighten things up, do you remember when we were on tour and we found out that we could maybe not pay for the parking garage that we were in on the hotel for the hotel? And the parking attendant was sort of one of these hapless dudes. And we were walking to the car with the instruments. He was like, what kind of ban you in?

You said, rock. And I was like, ooh, Tim's a hungover or something. He does not want to deal with this guy. We got in the car and we saw him chase down. from one of the other exits, somebody leaving without paying, and we took the opportunity to bolt out the other exit. And it was like, no, wait. Oh, that's the best feeling.

Another one of those was in Toronto. Mike, you scratched up the van parking on the rear right side of the van. So picture, folks, van, like a normal van sliding door. Mini van. There's a concrete column. on the right time. He didn't take the turn wide enough and crunch. It's a tight turn.

Then two, three weeks later, at the end of the tour, when we're in, like, in, like, Chicago dropping off this van. We pull in the lineup and we feel like we are under a microscope. We are under my... They're going to do the walk around. The rental car return. Oh, this is good. We open up the sliding doors.

The sliding door covers the straight. The sliding door. They did the walk around. We're like, yep, you're good to go. And we're like, yay. You, you dear listener might be saying, now that's not right of you, boys. But this van was old. The windshield wipers did not work.

It did not have a wiper fluid in it. And it was a dangerous car and needed to be off the road. If you're a listener and you heard that and you feel bad for Hertz, you could go to Hertz.com and donate. Anything you give. Yes. Anything you give is a long way. Any of these rentals companies that do not have the car for you that you land on having or do not have the car. We need to figure that shit out, folks.

Folks, if you work for Enterprise. I think the fucking rental car companies need to figure it out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Good. If you're somebody from Hertz or Dollar, listening to the pod, yeah. Fix it. Are you going to get hurt?

Fix it. Wait, is the company rent a wreck still around? I've heard of that. That's where you can save a car right before it gets guashed in a cube machine. the magnet's about to pick it up. I'll take it. I'll take it. When we're new to L.A. right before I paid the big $1,200 to buy my 1989 Chryslerler-Labaron.

Big bucks. Wait, $1,200. $1,200. $1,200. T-Bird was $12,000. The LeBaron was $1,200. Nice. So you kind of only paying like $12.

12, that's it. And I'll do any multiple 12 you want. I'm happy to go up to $1.2 million. But before I. got my Labarron. I wanted to, I needed,

I had gotten a job at Gracie Films as a production assistant and I needed like, uh, I had zero dollars in my bank accounts. I was like, I was like,

I gotta figure out how to, I can't buy a car, but I need to rent a car, put it on a credit card for a second. There's a company called Rent A Rec. Yeah. W.R.E.C. And I rented a daywu

Lanos and they just rent like shitty cars that are banged up. They're just like, it was like, like $20 a day. Let's do that. All in because it was like a piece of shit car. Oh, because it's like...

Piece of shit car. That's where Sandler got the idea. He saw your car. Oh, damn, I saw your car and I wrote a car. Rob, Spade. We got to go back in time. And shoot enough. Schwarzen.

Schwarzen. And soon enough, Kevin James. Now, Kevin James had to kill off Chris Farley to become part of. that gang. Nick Swartzon just he just the new generation. He just waltzed right in, man. And they haven't added anyone in the last 20 years. Who's the new generation?

Sandler's daughter? That's one Nepo baby I don't stand by. If she's not going to be doing I don't want her on screen. That would be so funny if Sandler's kids were like, hello. He talked about a talk. I'm having a boy problem. I mean, we're probably.

Okay. Well, what do we do now? How do we end the episode? I don't think anyone cares to here as rank these flavors. I think it's been ranked. Well, I think it's just overall. Let's give them the overview. These are bad.

Fruit punts are. Fruit punch good. Cherry lime ate bad. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Blue raspberry, not bad. My second favorite was blue raspberry.

My third favorite was juicy mango, but I still wouldn't. Fruit Punch is the only one I probably reach for it and I put it on the rocks. But if we want to grade these, if we're thinking in terms of order again, I don't think we're putting them up against actual cocktails. I think we're in the category of RTD.

So think about the buzz balls. When you say RTD, are you talking about the robotic termination device from season two of the birthday boys? I'm talking about ready to drink cocktails. Oh. So I'm going to say. Talking about that the whole time. Yes.

Okay. Have you been talking about it? Okay, because I was so confused. The whole episode. My review is this is not an order again, only because it's on a shelf next to buzz balls, which I think is a better product for the same price. And it's invented by a mom and son. And she sold it and she's not involved anymore. Both of these are owned by huge conglomerates now. I would like to have tasted these when they were owned by the originators.

I wish we could try a little boombox. Is there a way to get the last sealed boombox? The big boombox? No, you know what's funny? When they were testing out the concept, they were just going to parties with crystal light and vodka just to be like, because they knew the actual liquid didn't matter. They were like, it's the boom box. That's kind of like that faker girl medical lady.

What do you mean? The faker girl medical lady. They did all that stuff. Faker? Is this online? Oh, no. This is IRL. This is the blonde woman with the deep voice who fake sold a medical product.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. The her name. Theranos. Theranos. Nathan Fielder has a new documentary about her. Really? Yeah.

Have you seen this? Have you seen this? Yeah, I saw the trailer. She, in the weeks leading up to her going to prison for the Theranos show, he lived with her and filmed a three-hour documentary. Really? And it's coming out in October. Oh, man, I'm excited for it.

I'm also excited for the John Wilson movie. So here I am. I can't even remember this lady. Nathan Fielder went and lived with her for three years from the documentary, by you You're going to start remembering ladies, Jeff. That's really fun when somebody, when an artist does something like, you know, he's doing rehearsal and like, and then didn't talk about this thing until it comes out. Everything he does is 100%.

We don't have a lot of capital A artists out there. This guy is living his work. It also is, it's discouraged. Not for us because we've been together for like essentially 20 years being active and reactive. But when you see Nirvana of a band, the movie? When you see the rehearsal, you're like, oh, I guess the key to comedy is to follow a weird wild goose chase for three years or 10 years. Give up a decade. Have footage of yourself and your comedy friend as kids.

Folks, folks, comedy is you get seven boxes of little wines. You drink them up. You drink them up and you watch the money just flow in. So I, so my official is, it's not that I hate the product. I would say this is pretty much exactly what I expected. One drinkable flavor, a couple in the middle and a couple nasty ones. Too much taste. But yeah, because buzz balls are better, I got to give them the biggest dingle of all, which is not order again.

I expected more of a wine component. You know what I mean? That component, component. Now imagine. Because you love wine. Imagine your friend Tim, though, had given you, I don't think kids buying these know or give a flying fuck with your business is coming from.

See, Mike, that's your problem. Tim's going in fresh. I'm going in fresh. And I give a flying fuck. And here's the thing. This is a not or again for me. And not based on, like, I would do a buzz ball over this. But I just wouldn't do this ever again.

That's fair. It's funny to see how many wannabies there are in the beatbox section. If you want to be mine. There really are. There was one that was called like beach juice or something like that. Yes, there's beach juice. There's like sidekicks or something. And there was Fransia eventually.

It was like, they're beating us at her own game. We got to do fuel. Francia fuel. Yeah, it was this called Francia Fuel. I was going to say it's like Francia Plus or Fransy a go or something like that. Pokemon Go to the polls. But for me, it's an order again and again and again. No, no.

No, no. You've been. This is trash. look, if it wasn't for Cherry Limeade, look, we put Cherry Limeade on the floor. These should all be on the floor. I don't think Fruit Punch goes fully on the floor. Fruit punch on the rocks.

Fruit punch goes on the bottom of the bookshelf. Fruit punch goes on the doormat. Yeah. All the other ones go on the floor. So there's a welcome mat. It's about a centimeter off the ground. No, it's a thick welcome mat. Okay, it's like a half inch.

It's like a five inch. Damn. That's a luxury. Have you seen my welcome mat? I recently got a new one and I just went with the classic welcome. It's a shag welcome mat. It's just a brown mat and it just says welcome and that's that.

Jeff's little front door area is a little spruced up for fall. It's got a little. It's pumpkin type. A pumpkin is smaller than a baseball. It's very funny to me to walk up the stairs and like turn around that little dog leg and then the smallest pumpkin areas. As it gets close to Halloween as you put a bigger one out there. I will say we've had the dog days of summer getting into the L.A., unfortunately, we have the September swelter.

I'm really looking forward to fall. Let's do some pumpkin patch type shit. Well, we got some good fall shit coming up, probably on the pod, probably on the main feed pod, who cares, but on the blowout. A lot of good fall stuff. Yes. I hate the fucking main feed. Oh, cocktails. I know.

The stupid thing we're doing right now is fucking stupid stuff. For shit. Hey, if people want to hear about Lord of the Rings, they want to hear about Peter Jackson extended edition, Lord of the Rings. Interesting. They ought to go over to the blow. Peter Jackson, the past couple of years, has found himself worked right into the he-he-he-he-he song. Yeah. He's been.

We should talk. Well, first of all, we'll play he-he-he-he-he at the end of this episode. Yes. But. Nah. Nah. Because it's not the good verge. Well, tell them about the good version now, and then they can do the math later.

The good verge, we've replaced Michael Jackson. Jackson with Peter Jackson. It's funny that here we were playing that song live and we thought, hey, I'm not going to sing about a fucking child molester. Not at our show. And so the song is called, he, he, he. Only one guy says that. Right. But you change you to he, he, he, I'm a Peter Jackson.

Yeah. That's right. And Peter Jackson's image is still squeaky clean, right? Isn't he? Well, other than the fact that I hear he doesn't wear shoes on set. That's fine. Right. Which is, whoa, I don't know about that.

Mr. Stinking. So instead of One of us did the moonwalk You changed it to One of us did the Hobbit Yeah Yeah, end up to you You're making a good point

That listeners need to internalize Which is our live music is very good Yeah And that we've all of these songs Oh I'll listen to one Spotify They're great. Yeah, that's true. Come see us live.

They're even better. Could you imagine If we had like a live version of The way we now play some of these songs the way did we now play Tom Collins imagine if that was on the album you know what stinks for the the sloppy voice fans is there's no more opportunities for the rest of 2006 to see us well it's not true 2006 2006 there's no chances in two thousand 26 to see I have news for you Jeff you don't

have a list of this okay okay December I'll just look at my phone Tim I'm Tim I'm gonna look at my phone look at your phone you're buried in your mobile December 29 30 31st oh shit we're doing the year end celebration on the East Coast. So we're going to be playing a series of shows. The 29th in Boston at Rockwell. The 30th in Brooklyn at Littlefield. This is the

same venue. I took a terrible stage dive. Iconically famous stage dive. Interesting. Maybe we write that wrong. Maybe we write that wrong. And then New Year's Eve, December 31st at Milkboy in Philadelphia.

What I miss? I told Mike the dates of the year end celebration event. I just place some bets on liquor sales at Milk Boy on Cal Shee. Dude, you're going to do very well on that. I cannot wait for all those. I already have people DMing me or mentioning, you know, saying I'm already there. I already got the, I've got my hotel all figured out. Me and the gal are coming out.

Me and my buds are coming up. People are building their holidays around it. That's what's the same. folks. We all know New Year's Eve sucks ass, but now you got something new. And we'll just make a promise to you. If you're like kind of on the fence, I don't know if that's a room. We promise his performance.

I don't know. I can't commit to anything in my life. Yeah. Drag your significant other along. We promise it'll be a classy dress up. I'm going to wear my velour blazer. Nice. And we will do a toast at midnight.

We will make you feel like this is an event to remember. And Philadelphia. The city where our nations It's okay, it's okay. It's a declaration on this, the 250th anniversary. We're going to bring the Liberty Bell on stage. We should do a whole on 250 thing on the night. Those, we've been doing the New Year's Eve show now last year and the year before.

Man, it is so fun. We really rock it out. It's a party. Man alive. And the show gets better and better. My favorite thing, last year in New York, there were two guys that brought their fancy cameras were snapping picks all night. And then we did the countdown.

And at midnight, we were seeing old Langxine. I saw these two camera guys hug each other. And they didn't know each other before that night, but they were hugging at midnight. I even saw they sort of did a cheers with their camera lenses. I was like, whoa, guys, those are expensive. It's a photographer thing, Jeff. It's a expensive equipment. It's smashed them all of them.

Lens to lens, they said. Great. Real great, guys. How are you going to take? pictures of us now. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time or boxes, colorful boxes ahead of time.

And if you can't get enough boys, we already talked about. It's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. That's where you get double the pleasure every month to hear us talk about. Oh, everything from a roadhouse to the upcoming Lord of the Rings month. There's only three movies, but we can figure out another figure out another film. Hobbit. Hobbet.

Or maybe that old animated Ralph Batchie creepy. Oh, that's a good one. That might be the good thing to do. Maybe we even start with that. I don't know. I like that. Folks, we love you.

Please enjoy He He, He, the song that we had all the conscientious heart to amend when we play live and then out came a whole movie celebrating the life of the same man. Have yourself a, I'd say have yourself a beat bottle. Go for a bottle line, folks. This is bad stuff. Hey, hell, hey, folks.

See ya. All right. Hey, folks, and see ya. Hey, folks. Bye. Later.