The Sloppy Boys - 311. Tequila Espresso Martini

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

The guys discover what happens when tequila disrupts a beloved caffeinated cocktail.TEQUILA ESPRESSO MARTINI1.66 oz/50 ml Tequila1 oz/30 ml Kahlua.33 oz/10 ml Simple Syrup1 (strong) EspressoPour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker and shake well with ice. Strain into chilled cocktail glass.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association | www.iba-world.comWANT MORE SLOP? Check out:PatreonSHOP the webstore at:The Sloppy Boys WebsiteLISTEN to The Sloppy Boys hit songs on:Apple MusicSpotifyYoutubeTOUR DATES, SOCIALS and more at:LinktreeT H E   S L O P P Y   B O Y S   L L CExpand Ascend Conquer Retain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, Slopets, Mike Hanford here. And I want to tell you to check out my brand new stand-up comedy special, Mike Hanford, live in Toronto, on YouTube this October 8th. I'm really proud of it, and I think you're going to love it. Hey, you can't wait for October 8th. That's okay. If you're in the Los Angeles area, I'm hosting two public screenings on October 5th and 7th at Whammy in Echo Park. Tickets are just five bucks, and you can find them on the gram at Mike Hanford. Or go to Eventbrite.com and type in Mike Hanford and you'll find it there too.

For more information, check out Whammyanologue.com. And make sure to watch Mike Hanford live in Toronto dropping on YouTube October 8th. And please feel absolutely free to tell a friend. Or, hey, friends. Love you, folks. See you on the net. Hey, folks. Welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.

I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Yo, hello. In Tim Calpacus? What, he's up. Oh, and we're your host, and I must say you guys are looking particularly stadium status these days. Ooh, stadium status. Now, what does that mean, Jeff? Well, not so much stadium status is palladium status. Ah, ha. And you can only achieve palladium status if you've played the palladium, yes?

Mm-hmm. And I looked up Palladium to see, like, what does that mean? Because there's the venues we know, and then there's like a shoe brand called Palladium. I bet it's like what a Nickelodeon is. or something. It's like a mineral or like a... I just assumed it was a Greek word for theater. It's a precious metal. And it's also a theater. It's also a theater. Okay. Oh, okay. I think that's the usage that we're dealing with here, Jeff. Well, I searched it and it said, I was like, Palladium meeting. And it was like, rare precious metal. What about the theater, man? Well, I would say the three of us were like

three rare precious metals up there. We rock the fucking... Folks, this is our biggest show ever. We played the Hollywood Palladium on the sunset strip, holds 4,000 people. We fucking rocked and I ain't going back. I ain't going back to those dive bars. No. I can't. I can't.

I can't do those, that small bullshit. I mean, we'll do our three end of the year shows here in Boston, New York and Philadelphia. Yeah, probably a bunch more. Wrap up the year. But then no more. Then no more. Yeah. Well, this is a shock to me finding out that those end of your

your shows are not palladium sized, I just assumed. I know. I'm just hearing a lot of this news, too. These are not small venues, wonderful venues, but they're just not six thousand cedars. E, that's their fatal flaw. You know, they just missed it. Well, I got, I got to say, you guys, I think it required no adjustment. The adjustment period was, did not, did not register. I saw you guys walk out onto those boards. Yeah. The crowd instantly warm, not stiff at all, not weird at all. No, they were very cool, very cool crowd. Probably the hardest thing was getting our epic three-hour set down to 30 minutes.

That was maybe the only adjustment period. Yeah, and being like, oh, I just can't, Tim said something funny. I can't riff off that or, oh, I got to make Jeff do something crazy back there. I can't riff, baby. We should just put up a big flag that says no riffs and the people understand. No riffs for tonight. Opening band 30 minutes only. It was funny.

I guess one thing that was new for us is having the barricade. Like we're up on a big stage and then there's six feet of nothing and then there's a barricade holding our adoring fan back We needed it that night. Oh, that barricade was just barely holding on. Oh, I saw it was rattling in the bolts

were like, I heard when we were leaving the building, I heard them ordering a new barricade, I think. Yeah, this one's basically melted from all the fucking energy on stage. Here's the other thing is Because Starbom's fans are so, like, fun and internet-y and video gamey, it's funny to go out on this giant stage, which, like, should be more intimidating. I felt like pretty comfortable. Did you guys feel pretty comfortable?

Yeah. I did, I think because of this fan base was so, like, right away was cheering and, like, excited. And I look out in the audience, I see, I see Mario, I see Sonic, I see Bowser. I'm like, these are all my friends. This is the most welcoming friends are supporting me. I thought you'd be nervous. There's that kink song that's like, all of my friends with that. The guy, like, giving a speech about his career or something.

I like that feeling. I like that we had some slap heads in the audience singing along. I was looking down and seeing some people sing the words. Great seeing you and sharing a yo-ho. What's up? Sharing a yo-ho. Mike, you, yo-ho, what's-up just reminded me. You know what we missed?

I know. I know, I know. Talk like a pirate day. We forgot. We were supposed to say our matey. Pernially missed holiday here on Pogh. Damn, it fully is. It's not a bit.

There is five years we've been trying to remember to do it, but we haven't gotten to say R. matey. I do think one of the times the release of this episode was on Talk Like a Pirate Day. And we were like, eh, I just don't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah, we weren't in the mood. Yeah, you got to be in the mood to talk like a pirate day. But after we left the stage at the palladium, it was a bit of a whirlwind.

So we didn't even really fully post-mortem. It was funny that I did feel, it felt like it was too natural to the point of like, I think I talked on pod one time about, I've only done true like fine dining once in my life where it was like crazy expensive 12-course meal with the wine pairing and stuff like that. And when I went the last time I was there, I made a RICO chite. I wouldn't call it fine dining. Yes. That was pretty good.

RICO chichi. One course. Rice, corn, chicken cheese. Yeah, that's all there is. That's four courses. The Ryko Chaiji was delicious. And you left a bag of frozen vegetables in my freezer. I know, I want that back.

Don't send those to me one by one like some sick psychopath. So Mike leaves you food and eats all my sliced monster cheese? Jeff, Jeff, first of all, you're barely, you are still sleeping on the couch after that not recording debacle from last episode. So I'd be pretty scarce with what you're going to bring up about the food. You know what?

I think Mike has been gun sacking. I get three, I get three fuck-ups for that one. That was pretty bad fuck-up. I do think we should record all of our episodes moving forward. That's for sure. That's my solemn vow, Tim.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Wait, you were saying, you've only done fine dining once and you were relating it to our epic show at the palatium. I kind of went into that restaurant wanting it to feel pretentious, wanting to roll my eyes so that I could say rich people are stupid and I don't like that. It doesn't have to be a part of my life.

And then I was so delighted by the experience that it made me sad that it was like, oh, no, I do want that very, very, very badly. So this same thing, playing a 4,000 capacity venue. and then being like, no, there was no adjustment. We just had a complete blast. And I wanted to be like, no, you know, those big shows, you can't connect with the. It's like, you can. You can.

You connect quite a bit. And it's a lot of them too. It's a lot of fun. It felt like being in a music video because it was such like a classic looking scene. It was like that venue is so cool. And you didn't see it with all the people there. But the ground is like a roller rink like. what's that, what type of wood is that,

parquet floor, parquet wood? Not parquet. Yeah, parquet courts type style. That's a band. Admit it. That's a band. You got to admit it. I don't think it is parquet, parquet.

So, hmm. Hmm. But it had that thing where I could only see like a couple, couple rows deep. And then you know, it kept on going because I took photos of the venue, even before we went out there, I took a video to send to my parents.

And then I looked at the, I looked at the screen. I was like, this is insane. We're walking out onto that. This place, we thought we would be like, maybe, you know, people are getting drinks, going to the bathroom, finding, you know, they were there. It was, they were, they were seated, okay?

Thank you. Yeah, this is a, like, see the entire show type of crowd. Like, get there at door, or not doors, but get there at the show and see the whole show. Yeah, they've been lined up all day. So doors filled the place in, like, within minutes. It was great. And they were fully, like, we had their entire attention right from the beginning.

Amazing. And it makes you feel better than like, you know, sometimes you do some stupid shit on stage. And I just felt emboldened by like, there's like thousands of people agreeing with what I'm doing. They're tacitly consenting to everything. Like sometimes you feel dumb if there's only, you know, 40, 50 people. Yeah, you know, you get about 3,000 people. It feels pretty good. I enjoyed, I really enjoyed when it was like we were loading in, putting our stuff on stage.

the crew guy, the stage hands were like, like, you know, took my case. And I was like, oh, I got it. He's like, no, no, I take this away. I was like, oh, very nice. It's interesting. I could get used to this. Very good. Yeah, everyone, like, wanted to help, it seemed.

Great team over there. And thanks to Starbomb and we're going to have Brian, Ninja Brian on the show soon. Hell yeah. Yeah, that was, that was great. The only thing that could have made it better was if we're out there playing and we see a pizza start floating up, you know, on the top of the crowd, because that would be like great pizza, but also that that tradition has carried and is going somewhere. Yeah, you know, like the shots and the pizza don't make it over that moat, that barrier,

that barricade that we melted. The news of it, though, is, the news of it now is, so folks, if you're coming from a starbomb to a sloppy boy show, know that pizzas are welcome, even in slice, slice form. I can't even in slice form. I can't remember what city it was, but I feel like, Mike, I like snapped at you about the pizza because we, I think we've kind of, we love getting pizza on the stage. We've kind of become accustomed to it. So somebody was handing up a pizza and you kind of didn't care.

And I was like, Mike, crap the fucking pizza. It was in Chicago. I know my hand guy, I had to pull my handbag. And so it got snapped off. It was more recent than that. I'll sidebar with myself. It was because I was like, no, we'll get it later. And you're like, no, get it now.

I was like, all right. But I didn't want any, but I put it over on your side. hell yeah I think I was right in the middle of a poignant song he was right in the middle of one of his indelible licks for me

it's not even that I needed that pizza in that moment I just wanted to celebrate the act so that people don't stop sending us pizzas because it would be funny if we're a band where just like pizzas start piling up and we're like okay guys that's enough that's a good problem to have

yeah Well, are we getting some booze news? Bibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbiz. This refrain means the editor-in-teeth is ready for booze news. We didn't use to, we just kind of phased this out, right? No it, none, don't, don't, don't, no it. What do I say when it's time for booze news? Bip, Bip Bip Bip Bip was sent to us by Aude Bip Bip Bip was sent to us by

Alex T. Simmons, and if you have a boo's news theme, email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. Beautiful. Damn. Alex T. That was good. That echoey thing reminded me of Kylo Mnogue maybe. Sure.

It's some. Can you get you on my head? Snap out. Yeah, maybe. I mean, during her long career, I'm sure she's hit the echo button at one point. Pretty sure. Even it's just when she's playing a back alley show, you know, and it was. echoing off the walls.

COVID back alley show. Kylie Minogue was jumping out there. Okay, on Boosters today, I'm going to introduce a new segment. Jeff hit it. Yeah. Yeah. Looking back after all these years. With CalPie K.

Welcome to looking back after all these years with CalPK. We've been doing this podcast kind of a long time now. We might be considered master podcasters. Kind of the amount of time that you can look back upon. Exactly. We just hit it. We just hit it. You couldn't until this week.

Last week it was looking forward only. Yeah. And next week is back to that. Oh, yeah. This is a brief window. Hey, you make the rules. It's a nostalgic week. No, something happened that made me look back and feel pride, which was, I finally watched the movie.

Tony that Anthony Bourdain coming of age film and the movie itself is pretty much like fan fiction it's not really it's kind of a cute story they came up with and made Bourdain the star of it but it's not super factual but watching the movie

did sort of a chucked an oyster though that's well there's also a funny thing where like he has the oyster and he's like I had one of these on vacation one time in France with my family it tasted like the future which like, you know, when you're reading a book, that scene happens.

And the boy says it tastes like the future. It's funny to be, you got to do stuff like that in a movie. You got to collapse some timelines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got move the story along, keep it entertaining while I'm in the end. So I had Bourdain on the brains that I was looking at through fact or fiction, what's real in the movie. Normally you have Danes on the brains, if I remember. What's her name?

Claire Daines. Claire Daines. I have her off the brain currently. Okay. So it's Bordane's on the brains. You got to see there's a app ad I got to show you, Tim, where she's dancing with Patrick, something or other. Warburton, Patrick Warburton of all people. I think it's Patrick Wilson.

Take my hand. You guys are wrong. Oh, boy, there's some genes, eh? we're selling cackies it was a khaki advertisement all right tim take it away there's enough nonsense Mike Tim's trying to do the come on Tim Jeff play the theme sung in I feel like I got off track yeah that's a good theme yeah I like how self-satisfied it sounds yeah looking back after all these years with CalPicay. Now, when I was 19 years old, I read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain.

That's a long time ago. But now after watching this movie, I said, oh, it's on Audible. I'm going to listen to it while I go on a hike. So I've been listening to this book that I read so long ago. And it's funny to revisit something after a very long time because there's a lot you don't remember. But then there are little pieces that you can remember. Like, oh, I remember being 19 and reading that sense.

you know and um there was this with great gatsby thank you east egg west egg oh that's i got that by first pub that day when i cracked open this book at 19 what's that doing here one day before 20 when i was a mere teenager there was i remember like vaguely reading a sentence that didn't really make sense to me or i was like i don't know what that shit is but whatever and it it was all greek to me Flash forward, I'm a hot shit Hollywood guy listening to this book and I recorded, I found the sentence and I recorded it and I brought it in so you can hear it and see if as grown men you can decode what these words are. Okay. The speed racks over each station containing bottles of cooking wine, oil, etc. for easy access during service were always loaded with at least two highball glasses per cook. Lydia liked to call them summertime coolers.

usually strong Cape Codders, sea breezes, or greyhounds. Cape Cotters, sea breezes, or greyhounds. I had never had any cocktail in my life, but those words, I was like, what's this cool shit? Especially, even the word highball,

that's supposed to, you know, get, that sets the stage. Speed pour, too. That's a, speed pour, highball, what? Timothy. When you're a kid in you hear that, you're thinking,

highball, that's probably a really low, wide glass, Speed pour? Is that something that helps you pour slower? I don't even know these terms. We haven't done any Greyhound on the podcast, but that's a vodka grapefruit. Yeah. Nor even done that salty salty dog. What's the salty dog?

What's the salty dog? It's a Greyhound with salt? Oh. On the rim. Oh. Okay. Makes sense. But Cape Codder, we've done a whole episode about it and kind of revisited very recently.

Sea Breeze is in the Wu-W Madras. family. It's the one that's got cranberry. It's a Cape Cotter so it's got cranberry, but it also has grapefruit in there. Sea Bree's, I remember we did a good episode about, but it's a bummer that that was one where I think

some of those guys got in there. Some of those like... Dr. Benedicto. I don't know if it was them, it was Dr. Benedicto and a little thrill of types. They kind of weaseled their way. Kind of ruin that episode for me. That genre. That's right. That genre. Just that like

just lazy crap. So there's a dark cloud hanging over sea breeze for you. Good drink, just a bad song in that episode. Well, I merely wanted to pat ourselves on the back for acquiring knowledge that I think when we started the pod

we were like, we'd be fun to demystify what are all those bottles on the back bar when you're looking at? What's all this stuff on the menu? Now here we are, we may be dumbasses, but after a lot of episodes, I'm hearing sentences, I'm comprehending a boge.

Sentences from from years ago. I mean, this is truly the memory man's reading quote. Yes, old sentences from the past. I wonder what you had to, what got bumped so that that new information could make its way in. The works of William Shakespeare. Yeah. The bard. The bard.

The bread. Well, is that for booze news? That's it for, well, first we got to wrap up looking back after all these years. That's wrapped up. And now we can wrap up Booznor. Looking back after all these years, that's, that was nice. Yeah, that's good. I like that, who played that piano, Tim?

Ooh. That was, I think, somebody up in Cooper Tino. Okay. Feeling in the Apple loops. An Apple jingle or whatever. There's a great one made. Really good, though. That's, I mean, that was nice.

You don't have to add much to it to make it feel like pretty original. There's a pretty funny one called Curtin Call that gets used a lot. Is Super Stager Apple? We use that a lot. Super Stager is Apple. That's the sound when we have a quiz and it goes, go. Curtain Call is one that it sort of recalls an S&L episode concluding. Oh, yes.

Here it is. Just kidding. That's the... That's a Springsteen song we used to use as curtain call in old birthday boys shows. Right. You know what? Don't worry about the curtain call, folks. Hey, we're not worried about the curtain call tonight.

Maybe at the end of this episode we'll play curtain call. How about that? How about that? Because we'll be taking a curtain call. But for now... The audience should know when we wrap these episodes up, we do stand up in front of our zooms and bow to each other. We bow. Wow.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. But for now, for now, we're not worried about curtain call for now. Now is actually the most exciting part of the show where people kind of tune in to this part. The Crown Jewel, one might say. The main course. It's the drink of the day, folks. Ooh, shit.

Nice. Very nice. Shit. Well, we're talking about the tequila espresso martini you've had. No. I've not had. I've barely had this irregular. espresso. I've had it recommended

and I've had it recommended by bartenders at a airport bar and I said, and I remember coming up and tugging you guys on the shirts, we should do that on pod. No, seriously. Tugging at our pant legs and we look down, Jeff, the bartender said we should do it.

Jeff, play with your Game Boy. Jeff, you write your Game Boy. Play with your Game Boy. Finish your lollip. Jeff. And now finally, finally, it takes Center State, here on Pod. Well, it's funny because I do think this is a drink that's popping off. It's like we did an episode about the espresso martini, and we learned that it's one that was like invented by Dick Bradsell in London in the 80s

and then was sort of a sex in the city, New York drink in the 90s. But then obviously has had this huge resurgence in the 2020s, kind of thanks to being signal boosted by like Bravo shows and everything like that. But when we covered that on this show, it was like four years. years ago and it was we were like there's an article saying that this is starting to take off but it wasn't really part of our lives now in 2026 you can't step outside of your house without hearing somebody order an espresso martini but i do think there tends to be certain types of bartenders have a little bit of a toad about espresso martinis maybe they're pain in the ass to keep the

espresso prepped or they just a lot of bartenders don't just don't think it's a great drink that's worth the hype other than the caffeine. So I've seen a lot of like Instagram videos about bartenders giving their take on the drink and swapping spirits and stuff to make it their own style. But I think that this one is a popular swap I'm seeing. I think that this is getting kind of a reality TV bump. And I think, Jeff, you said something interesting, which was tequila's a stimulant. Yeah, if that's more of a factoid, a factoid. It sounds like a factoid. It's not really true. But I looked into it and it was like, part of the reason people think that is probably

as tequila is like, people drink it in celebratory occasions. Yes. And it's like frequently in shot form, which get you drunker faster with like less liquid lurch. Yes. And the initial sensation of drunkenness does feel like an upper and then the depressants sets in. I don't know. I don't know who started that. But I feel like since the 80s or 90s, people have been saying that like tequila is actually

the only alcohol that's classified as a stimulant. I say that all the time is, I think that's true. Oh, you still think that. I tell people that all the time. But don't you think, though, that there are, I do think that it's got a different kind of drunk. Like, we had a tequila party, and it was a different kind of drunk. And, like, red wine makes me sleepy.

Look, I know it's the tannins, Tim. Don't tell. I know it's the tannins. Jeff, you need to hear one more thing about the tannins. How about you have a nice big dinner of? just tannins and see if you get tired and then you'll know that that was it. Have the tannins out of Dan Tannas.

We did have a tequila only party one time and people went fucking nuts, but I feel like that was because it was liquor and no mixers at a party and no beers. And no beers. And no food. And we were also a very good hosts too. So maybe people were just getting excited. That's for sure. These guys are good. Well,

there's no official recipe for this because even like when you ordered, I wouldn't even just say, tequila, espresso martini confidently. If I were ordering this, I'd say, can I get an espresso martini but with tequila? Yeah. You'd be switching the vodka for tequila. Does that make sense to you?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, and it helps if you say with that tone, you know, does any of this ring a bell? Do I need to speak to your manager, perhaps? Ha. Ha. Cha, chah. I figure we're just going to use the IBA International Bartenders

Association recipe for the ESP. espresso martini, but we're going to swap tequila in for vodka. I love that. Yes, tequila in for vodka. We're taking out the vodka. Vaca out tequila in. How did you guys get your espresso? I made it.

I have an espresso machine, so I've made a couple of pots. Oh, that's right. He does. I went, I traveled far across on the ship back to me. Yeah, where do you get espresso? in New York City, man. You know, I bought just a little Stump Town. Stump Town.

The Clown show? Stump Town. Stump Town. Stump Town. That would be a good collab, though. Come on. That would be a good collab, but geez, you got to That's too close. That is too close for me. That's kind of close.

Yeah, I got a little pre-made espresso thing. Here is the recipe. We're going to go 50 milliliters tequila. I've got a very much. Very fun tequila. I'll tell you about it when we're sipping. 30 milliliters kalua or any coffee liqueur you choose to use like Mr. Black. 10 milliliters sugar syrup.

I think that's simple syrup, a one-to-one. I don't know why IBA doesn't use consistent lingo there. And one strong espresso. It's not saying any ounces. It's just saying one serving of espresso. That's like a shot of espresso, right? Yeah. Yeah.

That's not me. Method pour all ingredients into cocktail shaker shake well with ice, strain into chilled cocktail glass garnish with three coffee beans. Oh, I don't have those beans. Bars always do that. I love that. I've been at a dive bar and see that they take the time to do that. Man, one time I noticed, though, it was, I was like,

these three beans smell awful funny. Yeah. Rat turd. Yeah. You looked in the corner and, three rats, like, that was good to get that out of our system. Yeah, from three different rats.

Yep. Three turns to be. Could have been one deer. All right, folks, we're going to go make these up, shake these up. And when we come back, first sips of the tequila espresso martini. And we're back.

Espresso martini's tequila edition in hand. Ooh. Jeff, you got to a nice froth on yours. You too, Tim. Mine is not a nice frother. Looks like a Guinness, huh? Yeah. Mine is very ice chippy. A little froth, but mostly ice chippy. I kind of went crazy with the shake. That's my chippy. Timmy-turk. Very good, Tim. Very good. First sips.

Yes, yes. sip. Hmm. Oh, oh, I am getting that tequila. Note. Notes of tequila. Now, Mike, Mike is, it gives Mike pause because he doesn't actually like these drinks. It gives me much pause. Yeah. Not unlike a cat shelter. Not unlike it gives me much paws.

See, because when the cats are there for too long, I get to come by and collect all the paws. You'll see, my dear. That's a weird thing you got worked out with them. Yeah, it's weird. And it only happens around Halloween month, which is called. coming up. This, I suspected, it's not egregious, but I suspected I wasn't going to really enjoy the tequila in this drink.

It doesn't fit to me. It doesn't fit to me? Would you like to hear more about that theory? Yeah, this would be the place. Okay, great. I think of tequila. I think of tequila strictly as a like ad with, you know, have with citrus type drink. It is a hot weather, you know, cool yourself down type of drink.

And this is the type of drink I associate with... When somebody says, cool it, cool your jets, they mean have a tequila drink with citrus. Have a tequila drink with citrus. Not with this. That's going to shoot you right up, espresso. That's why they call it expressive. But this is, to me, a like cozy wintertime, fall time drink, which we're approaching. I have a tough time drink like these in the summer.

What am I trying to say here? Espresso martini. A regular espresso martini. Yeah, I was trying to think of the vodka. Vodka espresso martini. Even that, I don't feel like is very summery. I mean, I've called the drink not versatile, and you guys have disagreed with me.

But I get what you're saying, but I don't think the general public seasonifies that drink. I think that espresso martini is just people wanting to wake up and go nuts. Either wake up or go nuts. And I do think a surprising amount of them get poured through this summer, even though I think it's an odd thing. I do think, like, I mean, I just order them when it's like,

oh, shit, I worked all day and I got a lot of go to bed, but it's my friend's birthday after all. That's when I have them, because if I can't have a red ball, you know? Yeah. Also, didn't we find out somewhere? Maybe it was booze news. I'd have to ask the editor here, that the espresso martini is one of the most ordered liquids at the bar in America.

Liquids. Wow. One of the most ordered liquids. You know what? I thought it would be mushroom broth. But I can't think that. A bar that primarily serves wine, alcohol, and beer. Okay.

I was picturing a mushroom soup restaurant. At the bar area. I've had an espresso martini with rum. And that I've found rather... You've mentioned this. Yes, because if you think about a... Kalua. It is but rum and coffee liqueur. It says right on it. It says right on it, folks. And I think that that's a nice pairing.

This is my first time having this. And I would say that I, too, associate tequila with citrus. And I've had some hot coffee drinks at restaurants at tequila and I didn't like them. But this one is a good balance where, like, on my breath, I got a little agave. Just on the, like, towards the tail. The first sip, you're like, that's, hey, that's coffee through and through. And then as it washes down, you get a little of that. For me, Hornito's Silver. It's so distant on the tail.

It could be about half an hour later. You go, sort of a caboose. Yeah, yeah. And how about you guys for tequilas? What did you use? I used something whose name, I forget, it's a specialized tequila. It's just not one of the main, I think so. A specy out?

I'll find it. I'll bring it back. But, yeah. Was it silver or gold? Silver. Silver or gold? I'm a silver man. What was silver?

We got to do a parody of that Yukon, Cornelia, a song and make it about the keleta. Well, don't say it here. Save it for the holidays. If we talk like that, they don't hear, even though they're listening to a baga. Staying. Oh, Michael.

We can understand each other, but we think they can. Tim, your big reveal. The big reveal of Tim's tequila. El Musico, like the musician. Look it up. El Musico tequila. Oh, I was turned on to this delicious tequila by our good friend Robert Olguin,

who directed the sloppy boys documentary. Blood, sweat, and beers. Folks, go watch that. It's on Apple. It's on Amazon. You can watch a whole movie about your boys. Now, okay, so this tequila, Oh, yes, it's 100% agave, all the stuff, you know, it's really, and it tastes delicious.

But here's the thing. They have this theory that playing certain music while you distill spirits will affect the product. So I think that whoever first had this idea was like they're doing it like with Mozart, like playing Mozart for wine or whatever. But these guys batch by batch, they change the artist. So this bottle of tequila that I have, it's said. the name of the band on the back. Oh, what band was it? It's a band called Making Movies, and they're like, like, all Latin band.

Yeah, I'm seeing exactly that when I search it. So I really like this tequila, and it's delicious, and we'll see if the spirit of alt Latin music comes through in my behavior, but I would love to taste the Mozart version back to back and be like, you know, yeah, right. There's, there might be something to that only in this instance, because you've heard that plants respond well to music, right? Right. To the point where there's even an album for plants called Plantasia.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And then here's a tequila. What does it come from? A plant, the agave plant. So maybe there's an inherent plantness to this tequila that responds to music in the same way that my very own fiddly fig or pathos in the bathroom do. I, your fiddly fig is on

literally last leaf. Yes. It seems like you have been feeding that thing to kill. Because I've been playing that fucking sloppy boys stuff. It hates it. That fiddly fig looks like when, in Beauty and the Beast,

when that rose is about to lose its last pedal. Withering away. We just need Jeff to kiss a beast. A dog. Oh, no. Stop. Yes. Yes.

I, well, skeptics may think a music is not going to affect liquor. I think we know here on the pod when we drink Norwegian aquavit, we only like it if it has been loaded onto a ship and crossed the equator twice. And you can taste that. You know, you could taste that.

I ordered an aquavit the other day and it had never crossed the equator. I was up all night puking. This one hasn't had the journey. How new is this? Aquavit. This is untravelled. Oh, here.

Let me... Excuse me. We were talking about, uh, oh my gosh, excuse me. Hickups on pod. Mike,

take all the time you need, man. I need all the time over here. It's great, a good timing that you just started talking to. You're like, now hold on a second. No,

no, talking about dogs. Now, you two guys, you don't really like dogs. You say on the pot. Wait, puppers?

That's not true. Doggirls for babies? Well, anyway, you say that, but I think you really do have a soft spot for them. furry spot for him even. But in my regular life, I've been taking a little pages out of your notes and saying,

hey, let me find dogs at fault in the real world, you know, just so I can connect with you two on something besides the drink of the week. It's about time we connected. I, this was, this happened to Tim and I. We were out at a bar watching the football, watching the Bill's game. And there was a dog there, Tim, that maybe you remember this, as you had to walk through the bar to get to the outside area where was the game we were watching. There was a dog sitting. in this one aisle. His body was out of the path, the walking path, but his tail was out there. Just like, you had to step over his tail. Ah, part of the body, unfortunately.

To me, I'm thinking, hey, owner, why don't you get this thing that, like, we all know a dog leaps up and goes crazy when you step on its tail in this space. Like, it had its ears down type of look. Like, it didn't want to be there. And if it got stepped on it, it would have been like a shit show for a minute. So it's like, I don't mind if a dog. there because I like the fur babies. But you gotta put them in a space. Put them in a chance where they can have a winning, what am I trying to say?

Put them in a winning. Set them up for success. Set them up to win, yes. Please. Much like our Buffalo Bills. Yeah, right. Our issue isn't with dogs, Mike. It's with shitty dog owners.

It's the owners. The dog knows nothing. I think this is a great instance of it because, yeah, that dog was a very lovable pupper. And a hell of a dogo as well. You got to... Everyone agreed that day.

Oh, you know what? Too many espresso martini and sloppy boys are talking about how much they love dogs. We should do a blowout. Best dog. Best dog breed. That's great. That's a good one.

We would do that, yeah. Yeah. Maybe next time. Well, wait, but no. This week out, this, the blowout that just got released. What am I trying to say? This drink is a little creeps up on you. We sang the Star-Spangled Banner, each one of us,

and we figured out who sang it best. The most beautifully. A straight-faced self. Most patriotically. In celebration, it's the belated 250. We're celebrating the belated 250. Yeah, we realized we didn't do our 250. This is our 250.

250. Is that the number of years of our nation, or my weight. Well, I don't know. Well, Jeff, if you wouldn't listen closely, I said recently I was 222. Thank you very much.

Okay, okay, okay. 222, what you're gonna do? Hey, there's a bar we like in Toronto called the 2-22. I could be their mascot. As long as you don't eat any more or less than you do now, you've got to maintain that weight, Tim. There's a lot of people want to be that mascot.

I can be a mascot for like the next like day, Quickly. Remember that old Letterman bit, the comedy, the comedy duo, Al Franken and Tom Davis. They got booked on Letterman to do a bit. And then a week in advance. And they're like, what if we come out as the comedy duo that is the same weight? And like one of them was like 167. The other one was like 172.

And they're like, let's see if we could do it. And they didn't cheat. They like quietly. Like wrestlers try to nail it without weighing themselves. And then they did on the show got weighed and they both weighed. They didn't test it once before. Wow. We should say that we're heading into, if you're a subscriber, if you're a patron, we're heading into the spooky months.

So the blowouts ahead, yeah, we'll do best dog at some point, but I'm sort of looking forward to the scary stuff. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. We usually get a little frightifying around this time. To anyone who doesn't subscribe to patreon.com slash the sloppy ways the sloppy was blah. One year, we did a whole month of zombie movies. Right. Zaba movies. Because I had an old co-worker when I was 22 at a telemarketing job and he said,

Ah, Tim, man, you got to watch Zababoofus of the footage. We turned you pretty good, if I remember, too, Tim. We turned you pretty good. More so than with X-Men, I would think. They are funny. That's just a genre for him. That's funny. Remind us what we watch for Zababuva Blunt.

Night, Dawn, Day, and Reanimator? Now, which one was, like, said in a TV studio? Dawn. The one that is, it's from TV studio to mall. I remember that being a really wild ride and enjoying it. I also, like, the first one charmed me just, it was a very scrappy little student film vibes. Almost stage play contained. Oh, that was the black and white one from the 60.

And that's a classic Fiction Hmm Zobble was And so we don't know We'll save the rest of this chitchat for behind the paywall For the people that really know what's up Yep, you're gonna have to climb that thing

It's more climable than ever folks Get over that wall We'll see you over there I'm ready for a round two of this guy Because I want to try this rum one that you were talking about Rump Lerr Still skin Yeah. You do a, is it suggested a dark rum? Because I got a dark room.

Well, I mean, you're swapping for vodka. So I think people just use like Bacardi silver. But if you, I think a dark rum sounds luxurious. Ooh, I might have a little of that captain left in me. Ooh, a little spiced. That actually, that sounds pretty good because it's got those notes of vanilla and, um, spice. Pumpkin spice latte season is coming up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, hoo. There's a bar near me that does a pumpkin spice martini. I'm going to get that soon.

I wonder if it's a tumult. Yes, it is, because I ordered it once in the summertime, and the people I was there with laughed at me. And I said, no, no, no, they do make it. They said, yeah, but at the summertime, I was like, well, they still probably know how to make it. And I was not giving that drink. It's fine.

It's fine. I'll lick the floor. Tim, I also, I know I was the champion. be in for doing the tequila version, but I also want to try the Roma. And I do have some Bacardi. How are you feeling on this tequila one? I'm feeling hot in the face is my primary reaction. I don't like it as much as the vodka, I have to say. If I'm talking, if I'm talking swaps, I mean, I don't want to give away my final thoughts, but I think that the vodka kind of gels a little better. Or I'm just more used to it. I'm just more used to that taste. I mean, I would. Yeah, you're allowed to like it better, but vodka is a fairly neutral alcohol, and so it can, it's the chameleon.

I thought gin was the chameleon. Oh, gin is the juniper one. Yeah, gin, juniper. Unless, I'm not really familiar with chameleons. Do they, like, taste like juniper? Yeah. Yeah. They're made of tequila, I think.

I think if you crack open a chameleon, a tequila falls out. I, should I do a rum one or should I make one where? I put more tequila so I taste more agave. Rum one. You were the rum champion this whole time. Great. Let's all do rum and then that way we can name a winner. This is good. We should still call this episode Tequila espresso martini but then like our round

two is rum and then this is good because it's sort of a whole breakdown of the whole genre. And it's cool because we call the episode tequila espresso martin when we posted but like people in the know. Yeah. Sneak attack. People like that actually like are smart they're like well round two is rum like

Yeah. You're great. All right, folks, we're going to go make this rum version. And when we come back, final thoughts? Rumble still looking. If I like to shake his hand. I'm a drunk. I'm an espresso martinis with rum in hand.

I added a little milk to mine to give it a little more of a creamy of a type of a thing. Just a splash. Okay, me, so this guy is going rogue and making getting some dairy into his cocktail. Ooh. Oh, well, oh, well, well, this is something. Tim, you might be on to something with this rum. So much of it. Now, imagine this.

Sometimes I'll order this on the rocks. Imagine that. You'll run back. I'm at brunch. I'm, hey, everybody. Hey, you know. Man, I was so late the other day. for brunch, it was lunch.

Shit, man. Who else? Who was there? Me? It was too late, man. I ate lunch alone. Okay. I did a little rum.

I pulled back on the, I pulled back on the Kalua and the sweetener, the, the Syrup. Yeah. And I think it's better.

I think it was the other other way is a little too sweet. You know what I mean? It's like when you get like, oh, let's try this new Dunkin Sabrina Carpenter flavor. And it's like, whoa, one sip is worth it. Yep. Yeah, I really don't understand why the fucking international bartenders association adds simple syrup to this drink. I mean, if there's an ounce of Kalua, Kalua is like candy for babies.

It's a lot, yeah. So I would say this spec is off. And in both cases, I really wasn't getting a lot of the base spirit. I feel like I would just drank a shitload of sugar. But I will say that, yeah, rum, this is a natural marriage. Yeah, this is nice. Because Kalu and rum is a... Oh, wait, no.

There's rum and vodka is a white Russian. That's right. Yes. You know, they say, rum and Kaluah, you know what to do. Rum and tequila, we'll see ya. Silly. It will have to be Sia. I don't know why they say.

that, but that's what they say. Why they say it that way? It should be, it rhymes. It should be sing-songy. Or say something else entirely, you know? Yeah, I know. And that's how you want to use your platform? You know what?

I wish they were saying, I wish they were speaking truth to power. Me too. Yeah, me too. Okay, wow. That's a bit of a revelation. Sort of throwing a wrench in my whole episode here, Tim, with this with this rum version. Rumble stillskin? Now, do we get into some final thoughts?

I think we do. Sure. Yes. And I have them in droves. Actually, before I... For context, Mike, you don't normally like this stuff. This is almost like a... You famously don't like a champagne drink and you don't like a coffee drink.

Champagne, certainly not. Coffee drink, I'm coming around because I'm drinking coffee more these days as it is. But it's not my go-to. You're trying to get that blood pressure up? Yeah. I want to be still the blood pressure guy. Yeah, I mean, you have an identity. You know, people knew you as something. Now you're like, oh, healthy guys here. I'm like, what? Everyone's healthy guy around here.

The hell? I want people to panic when I show up. Shit. I want people. Yeah. Panicking, throwing the rest of their afternoons out the window. We're going to be here a while. This was the tequila I got. It's called Arrette. Like French Arete, which I mean stop, I think. Stop. But it's, uh, it's French. Tequila. Wait, no, no, no.

It is a product of Mexico. Yeah, the rest of it is Spanish, but what does our retina do in Spanish? It must. Probably means something. Crunch stuff. I don't know that one yet. This is better. If it's between this and the tequila version, I pick the rum version.

And if it's between the rum version and the vodka version, I pick the rum version. This is nice. Rum wins? The espresso martini with rum. You know how on this podcast, a lot of time I talk about around flavor, right? Around flavor. Some things are anglers. Sing.

Hey. So you're talking, like, you're talking more about round, round, get around. I get around. Yeah. Yes, Jeff, I am talking about that type of stuff. We should cover that, but changes be like, I get around as in I buy a round. Like, this round is on me. Oh, round, round, round, get around.

Buy a round. You buy a round. There's a great video of a guy doing that vocal stack. You seen it? No, like a modern man or the original? A modern man? That's Beach Boys. Yes.

That's Beach Boys. That's the Wilson's. To you. But it's like six voices. I don't know, five maybe. Mike, take it away. This to me, the roundness of the rum, it complements the roundness of the coffee and Kalua.

I think it all works together in a big round bowl of marbles here. This is a nice brown marbly drink. Think of a bunch of chocolate marbles right all in your mouth. It's good. I think my ranking would be rum, then vodka, then tequila is a nod or again for me. But the other two, yes. Ooh. Ooh.

Tim, your thoughts? Submit them. I think the problem with Mike's tequila, espresso, martini, was that the agave didn't have any music played for it while it was being distilled. Right. So it's just that flat, flabby, boring tequila. It just doesn't actually...

On this bottle, it does say tequila grown while being lectured to. Oh, God. Being mansplained at. Yeah. Oh, boy. My tequila, it was delicious because it has... alternative Latin music emanating from it, but I'll say that the tequila espresso

martini, I was skeptical. It's better than I thought, so it is an O-A order again, but it has been trumped. I think that, yeah, obviously, this rum is just pairs way better. So I think, like, moving forward in my life, now that we've disproven the idea

that tequila is a stimulant, I think I'm a rum-espresso-martini guy, and therefore is the tequila one at OA? Why would I order again? No, I'm, I think I'm going to save my tequila's for my polomas. Oh, yeah, that's, that's awfully shrewd of you, Tim. I would say, though, if somebody was making, if somebody was like, get in here, Jeff, we're making espresso martinis with tequila.

I wouldn't keep walking. I'd charge in there, you know? I want to be a part of that. So they said, hey, Jeff, get in here. you're still walking. We're making espresso martini. You're still walking. Tequila.

I'm in. I'm in. I think it's definitely the worst of the three, the tequila, but I'm still doing it. If it's to be done, I'm going to do it. It's not as much of a clash as one might expect. They're all order against folks, but there's not all order against are created equal. You learn that on the pod. Very true.

You learn that on the sloppy boys podcast. Rum takes the crown. And it's, and it ain't close, if I'm being honest. Rum, rum just gets along. Rum is a home rum.

Rum is a home rum. We're going to have a pretty wild blowout record. This star-spangled banner sing-off is going to be wild. It's nighttime and we each just had two as best of it. That's like we shouldn't. Yeah, I know. Whenever we do it, I'm like, sweet, I love those. And then realizing I had a bunch of espresso at like 6 p.m.

is not good. I'm going to sleep like shit. Luckily for me, this was one of these mornings where I woke up at six and was like, maybe I will just get up. Why? Because I was good to have that feeling every so often. So, but that I was afraid and scared shitless when I got out of bed that I'm like, If I wake up at six, am I going to fall asleep at like 8 p.m.

Now, thanks to these wonderful magical drinks, I'll be partying all night, babe. All night, love. All night. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys,

patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. That's where you get the good shit. And you know it's going to be October. So you might as well get in there because we're going to be talking about some real good seasonal shit Followed by Followed by November

Month of the Rings That's right November is Month of the Rings Get hype That's exciting And we're not talking about Little Blue Speedy guy Okay

Sonic Yeah we're not talking about Some sort of Sonic Hedgehog We're talking about J.R.R. Tolkien's masterpiece novels Yes, the Galaim films

as they call them Well, we should say one little, I don't know, maybe we save it for the... What do you want to say? Don't say it. Save it. We saw, don't say it? Say it. What are you going to say?

We saw Long Beach dub All Stars and they played some sublime songs. They sort of played doing time, which, you know, it's not really a sublime song. That's an interpolation of summertime and a living's easy. Which we covered on the blowout. And there's a line in there that we came up with a, a very funny Oh yeah Tolkien parody

Might have been I don't know If it was You Hanford or was Mitch But you know The song goes Evil Come to tell you

That she's evil Most definitely So we came up with It's a song About Gallum Okay It's a song About Gallum

But if you know The reveal is Smeagov Come to tell you That he's Smeagal From Lord of the Rings Dude perfect. I also love that he knows he's from Lord of Rings.

You know, he's a book character. And then we said, and then we said, The ring is getting heavy. He wants to kill that same last gangie. And it's all true, and we'll find out more about all that crazy shit. It's all coming up this fall at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Lots of exciting stuff, folks. Oh, Mike, plug your, you got it for L.A. Slopheads.

You've got some screenings. Tim, my lord, yes. Thank you for reminding me. My Lord of the Rings. My Lord of the Rings, you've reminded me, Tim. October 5th and October 7th at Whammy in L.A. I'm going to be screening Mike Hanford live in Toronto, my brand new stand-up special.

And then it'll be released on YouTube on October 8th. Greetings, very cheap tickets at Whammy in Los Angeles. I believe it's on Sunset Boulevard. Come on out, folks. Come on out in all half. I once saw a film about that boulevard. On the boule of... And let's just say she was ready for her close-up, Mr. Demel.

Mr. Capiz. Let's just say that. Let's just leave it. Bye, folks. We love you. Peace next week. Love it. Love it!