The Sloppy Boys - 47. Hop, Skip & Go Naked

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

The guys mix up a big batch of college-y beer punch from the '70s.HOP, SKIP & GO NAKED RECIPE6 (12oz) cans or bottles of beer1 (12oz) can of frozen lemonade concentrate1 pint whiskeyIn a large container, combine beer, lemonade and whiskey. Stir and serve over ice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, here along with Mike Hanford. Oh, hi! And Tim Kavagas. What is up? And we are your hosts, together again, IRL. IRL.

Hmm. We've had some time together, haven't we? We sure have. We went out to the Tam O'Shanter last night. Oh, yeah. And we had, well, I don't, you know, I had a lot of, I had a good martini there. Yes. And I've been hungover all day from that one martini.

I did a mule and several beers and a chicken sandwich. That's good. I did an interesting move where it was a drinks kind of a vibe, and then some people were getting chicken sandwiches. Me, step up to the bar, ordered myself a whole prime rib. I saw that coming over there. I was across the bar. I was like, he did it.

He said he was going to do it. He did it. It's like I had been there for a couple hours, had a couple drinks, just talking to people. And then I just sat down by myself and ate a $50 steak. Just working on that thing. I remember. At the bar.

And I ate every bite. And then the bartender did the classic joke of, I see you didn't like it. And I said, oh, I loved it, you piece of shit. I remember, because I also ordered food to the bar. Like, hey, yeah, I'll get a black and tan and chicken sandwich. And then when it showed up, I saw, oh, there's Tim at the other end of the bar working on that prime rib. So I slid on up to you, finished my chicken sandwich and fries, and then you were still working. And I said, all right, I'll stick you later.

Yeah, because you're eating prime rib. There's a lot of sawing going on. I also picked up the bone and gnawed on it, which I don't normally do at a nice steakhouse. But I was in the bar area. Yeah, you could act like a ravenous dog. Sunday night. What were the sides that you had? I didn't get close enough. Creamed spinach,

mashed potatoes gravy, Yorkshire pudding. Very nice. Wow. You had a real big meal over there. I was like Thanksgiving. It was very fun. Socialize a little bit and then say, no, I'm going to settle in to eat a whole cow piece. Well, I was going to settle in to eat a whole cow piece. Well, I was going to maybe save this for booze news, but I'm just going to talk about it now because it has something to do with where we were last night.

It's your life. It's my life. So I got that martini and they put three olives on a toothpick skewer. Sure. And I said, I told you, I think, Jeff, or somebody, whoever was close to me, I said, you know, it's an odd number olives is good luck. Even number olives is bad luck.

And I, as a bartender, I was like, have you heard that before? Is that, am I right about that? And he's like, well, three olives represent the Trinity. That's what his answer for that was. What Trinity? From the Trinity. That's what his answer for that was. What Trinity? From the Matrix. And the two is bad luck. One is just, you can do one, two.

But two olives and a martini is bad luck. You don't want to have the Father and the Son, but not the Holy Spirit. Right, right. You want to leave room for the Holy Spirit. He was saying some other stuff about martinis, but you guys saw him. He had a big, like, Bain mask on. Yeah.

And also had an accent. Yeah, Scottish accent, and I just couldn't. A lot of it was like, yep, I don't know, man. When I make martinis, I just do one olive. You never need multiple olives because they're, you know. Especially if you make it as dirty as we make them yeah and you're just you want to just want that little like it's a garnish that you get to just pop and it's fun like you don't need a whole all that food yeah like the three of nah just no one he also said he has enough cool thing he's like do you want it uh

dirty filthy or drag me through the garden oh yeah that yeah. That's a cool move. Tim, I like the olives thing. Like, even at Bird's, when the bartenders weren't looking, I would steal olives and just eat them. Well, I like olives. Just eat them. I love blue cheese olives. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. But also, that bartender had a lot of other stipulations, too, because he kind of liked asking all the follow-up questions.

But he would say Hemingway or Churchill based on the amount of vermouth you want a lot of isms going on and he he mixed it he didn't shake it he stirred it in a big huge like glass vase right but they also they would ask if you want because the other guy was shaking him too so it's funny i think that that's probably the reason that martini for people that are not into martinis i feel like that's a big barrier to entry is all the stipulations i like answering all those questions but i also prefer if a bartender just confidently makes the martini that he wants to make right yeah and drinks it too yeah and drinks it too but like i'll i'll say like you know the brand of gin but beyond that i feel like he should have one he likes to make and then it's on me to ask for modification right

if anything it's like you're going in you're feeling maybe a little bit fancy or you have preferences when you say gin versus vodka but he comes at you with what was it churchill and hemingway or churchill and that's the amount of vermouth you know. Which one's more? Hemingway has vermouth. Churchill has no vermouth. Oh. Well, see, you know, you go to a bar and somebody says something like that to you and you feel outclassed. Right, right.

You feel like you're at a casino. And you're like, well, I don't know. So you have to put the money down on the table. Oh, here it is. I didn't become a coffee drinker until i was like 25 and that was part of the reason that i was like i don't know i get like do i take two creams and one sugar one cream two sugars i don't know just give me a soda and then you drink the stuff you're like oh it's just about getting caffeine into my blood and it's the same thing with a martini it's like you're just trying

to get drunk but if people have all their little stipulations i now have my own little stipulations but i only say all that shit if i'm at a place that i know it's gonna suck if i'm at like a hotel bar like like a layover at an airport or something i got a martini a plastic cup at an airport yeah that's no good no but at those type of places i'll assume it's not going to be anything special so then i'll come and say i like it kind of dry i like it kind of dirty i like it made with this this this if i'm at uh like a steakhouse i just want to say martini and i want you to do the thing i'm focused on the steak uh oh i had an awful martini the other day here in town i'm not going to say where it was because I'm about to bash it. But it was I said, just give me a

vermouth rinse. They did that fine. And it just didn't taste like anything. I don't know what gin they use. I didn't specify a gin, so I just used house gin. I was busy talking to someone else. That sounds good. If it doesn't taste like anything, that sounds good. I wanted a gin taste, and it was

so much ice chunk in it. I'm not going to get one there. You're describing what I think is to be nice. I know, but it just didn't work. Now, wait a second. I think that didn't, on the Threedom podcast, I feel like they reamed you for your martini orders. Yeah, they had some facts wrong.

It was, I was. Set the record straight. Use your platform. I forget what they said, but. I think they said you're kind of like a fucked up dickhead beyond repair. Yeah, that was definitely wrong. That was definitely wrong. Well.

No, it was wrong. It was wrong. Oh, I forget what they said, but it was... They had a fact wrong, and it was... Well, I think that they said that you kept going to bars in London and ordering martinis you didn't like oh no the thing was we were in australia and i got a martini that was made like insane first of all i had like two straws in it and i could see where they were making it was in a back closet it wasn't in a bar and it was like next to like you know scrubbing

stuff and okay so they had they you're right their story was exactly wrong to the point of the opposite hemisphere right right that's how far off they were that's yeah the toilets swirl the other way even we were we were walking on the uh ceilings of that place because we were upside up okay well that is like i don't hold it against a lot of stuff happened uh you can't remember the exact spot I had a bad martini. Well, there's things like that in life, but then there's the constants that keep you going. You know, you need a rock in life that's dependable,

and that rock today is something you can rely on, which is boo-boo-boo-boo-boo's. Hit it. I'm so punk rock. I'm so punk rock. With a studded belt and a studded side. Hell yeah. I'm so punk rock.

I'm so hardcore. I'm so hardcore. I fit right in on the mosh pit floor. I'm so hardcore. I don't like it. Okay, I'm so hardcore. Oh so grungy You okay? I'm so grungy I shook it up just like a squad

I'm so grungy I'm so metal I'm so fucking metal Give me the first place headbanging metal I put my foot down on the fucking pedal I put my foot down on the fucking pedal I put my foot down on the fucking pedal Oh you gotta believe me

Cause I'm so METAL It's business You beautiful Humans Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Wow.

It really ended on a nice warm note. That was I'm So Flunk Sock by Kang. Oh, the Kang-er. Eric Kang. Kang-er is the king. Kang-er is the king of this. So I'm So Punk Rock is one of our songs From our album Dancing on the Wind

Where you just kind of slowly strum a guitar And sing about being metal And grunge and punk rock Now we got the tour Of the musical genre That was so cool I wasn't picking up on that The genre switch

If either of you guys ever have a booze news theme, I want you to email it to thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com. Either of us? Me and Mike? Yeah, if either of you guys ever want to submit one. Yeah, maybe I'll submit one. I don't know if we need to do that, especially if listeners are cranking out better recordings

than appear on our albums. Yeah, wait a minute. That's kind of weird. He improved upon our music. That was Kanger. I met Kanger in IRL. Good dude. Yeah, well, some of us haven't yet.

Well, you come to New York, I'll take you out with Kanger. Yeah, I haven't had the pleasure. The leisure. Okay, let's get into some booze news, which is, well, fall is in the air. Yes, crisp. An autumn breeze wafts through the crispy leaves a gourd has a seed and there's a new collab from harpoon beer and duncan oh duncan beer pumpkin boston

cream jelly donut and coffee porter beers shaped like duncan donuts what do you think Oh! Dunkin' Beer, Pumpkin, Boston Cream, Jelly Donut, and Coffee Porter. Beers shaped like Dunkin' Donuts. What do you think? Wait, shaped like Dunkin' Donuts? Flavored. Flavored. Oh, I wish that they were flavored like something else, but shaped like that. I was imagining like a can or a bottle that was shaped like a Dunkin' Coffee Cup.

This sounds exciting to me. It's beer and not seltzer. It's beer. It's beer. It's beer and not seltzer it's beer it's beer it's beer and uh any word on the caffeine oh that is a very good question because uh we had just talked about how you know a lot of these brands they're they're they were nervous about getting into the alcohol space but now it seems like they're doing it which is cool but like the mountain dew they couldn't put caffeine in right and we said

hey what about the paps turns out and then somebody somebody on the on our discord said ah there's no caffeine in paps turns out there is caffeine in paps there's just not very much this is looking like no caffeine because only one of them has a coffee flavor the coffee porter and that is six percent abv but no mention of caffeine in the article whatsoever so no calf if you want to make a weird combo drink just don't put the caffeine in there jelly donut sounds good i'll give that a whirl yeah i think it's fun uh you know i don't in general do we like these collabs do we like here and this brand and that brand are doing this little thing i think it's kind of cool It's fun depending on what it is.

You know, it's a corporate cash grab. Of course, of course. We all know what that's like. And do you like that type of stuff? Me personally, I hate it. But I am excited to have these beers. Where do I buy these? In a store in Duncan?

You buy them in a store, yeah. Well, it's funny. I imagine that in entertainment, like in Hollywood, there's some beer maker out there who's got great new ideas for beers. And all the distributors are like, yeah, but come back when you have Dunkin' Donuts. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

Like, hey, why educate the public about your weird little idea when we can just say, hey, you know Mountain Dew? And people line up with money. Right. I go to the studios. I got this great idea for a movie. I got a script. It's a sci-fi thriller.

There's romance. There's heart. There's humor. I love the script. Hey, come back when you got Idris Elba in touch. Yeah. I don't know Idris. Yeah. I know. I'm like, I don't know Idris. Yeah.

I know. I'm like, I'll send him your way. I would love to work with him. He'd be perfect in this project. I wonder if he would like the Dunkin' Dozen. Hey, that's a good name. That's what they're calling this pack when you buy it, the Dunkin' Dozen. I like that.

Oh, and all the different ones come in it? Yep. That's great. Only four flavors, but three of each flavor. Aha. Correctamundo. Another piece of news, less less booze but still news because mike you've brought this up in news before the prescriptions yes yes so your your

impression of tony soprano is hey you gotta get the prescription and then it came out recently we talked somebody showed us a clip of bob Bacala, not Tony, saying prescriptions. And we were worried it was that you were misattributing the quote. We were worried about that. I was like, am I crazy? I've seen it. No, I've seen it. A beloved slob head on Instagram, the ghost of Craig T. Nelson,

sent us a clip where he found in season five, episode 11, Tony saying the prescriptions. He's not talking to Carm though, is he? No, he's talking to his like mistress. Hey, no spoilers. I know, but. Oh yeah. Yeah, me too.

Well, Mike, have you watched the clip? Is this the one you were quoting or were you quoting? It must be. I mean, I'm picturing i pictured karm uh talking uh yeah tony the the patriarch talking to the matriarch and saying i need you to go get my prescriptions for me yes that's what i thought yes i i swear season one or two he's talking so much because he doesn't like the prescriptions he doesn't want people to know that he's on them now i'm pretty sure that this slophead started the show from the beginning, watched every episode, and got all the way to nearly the end of season five before he heard the word

prescriptions. Maybe. You're telling me that you're going to send them back all the way through. Maybe they just watched it at random. Yeah, hey, Ghost and Craig T. Nelson, start from the top and let us know what you find. Yeah, keep us posted. Well, I'm going to be starting from the top soon. I keep saying, I keep saying, I'm going to start.

When I get back to New York, I'm going to start. Yeah. I'm going to watch it so much, I'm probably going to need some sort of prescription to put me to sleep. That's not so bad. That's pretty good. Honestly, fucking awesome. A lot of new words this time, too.

Yeah, he's talking about more stuff. He's opening up. He's using more words to say the same thing. Yeah, he's really broadening to all new places. Where's Anthony? Well, he's Anthony,ening to all new places. Where's Anthony? Well, he's Anthony, right? No.

Oh, AJ. AJ, Anthony Jr. Where's, who else is in this show with me? Meadow. Yeah, where's Meadow? And where is Bobby Boggillot with my prescriptions? Oh no, it's Bobby the whole time. It's Bobby.

And that's it for Booze News. Wrap it up. Would you guys like to get into the drink of the day? Finally, yes. That should be fine. Well, school bells. I was going to say, school bells are in the air. Textbooks rustle about.

Yes, an apple is being placed on a teacher's desk. It is back to school time, is it not? To quote Rodney Dangerfield, it's back to school time. So we decided to pick this drink, which is entitled Hop, Skip, and Go Naked. I have never heard of this, but Jeff, you texted us and said that your dad told you about it. Yep. He said, hey, I heard you got a booze podcast. And I was like, yeah, I tell you about it all the time. Your mother tells me about a podcast.

He's like, you ever hear of a Hop, Skip, and Go Naked? And I also said, no. No, you old man. I've never heard of this. I looked it up and it seems to be, there's a bunch of different versions of this thing. But all the stories that my mom and dad would tell. My mom was

quoted as saying that this drink is quote, very effective for a lot of people. What? Yeah. I like that. Very effective. This is just earlier today.

I was like, so what did you think of this drink? Oh, I remember it being very effective for a lot of people. Oh, because it can serve a lot of people. Maybe. Oh, like for a big party. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. I thought just like for a lot of people, this has an effect.

Yeah. Some people, none whatsoever. This does sound like a drink. Well, this has an effect. Yeah. Some people, none whatsoever. This does sound like a drink. Well, maybe we can get into it. But to me, this sounds like a drink that's like a 60s college. Yeah. It's a big college drink. Right.

It's a big batch cocktail for college kids. And you were kind of under the impression it was like Northeast colleges in the 60s. There's not too much information out there because even the drink itself people make it differently or 70s yeah um yeah 70s um but there are a few different i saw like something called like a yucca party and uh and we we had jungle juice but like in general it's like oh when you're dumping a bunch of stuff together and that's kind of the theme of the party um i found that recipes and names for this uh changed a lot and i guess hop skip and go naked is a a play on hop skip and go or hop skip and jump is hop skip and go uh i've never heard of hop skip and go always hop skip

and jump so it made me go naked because you get real drunk and you take your clothes off but this drink according to all recipes which which is a nice standard recipe guide. This is not on the IBA. We're getting a little kooky today. We'll get back there soon, folks. Don't worry. Some places make this with vodka, but here's what I found to be the more standard thing,

which is six beers. Yep. Oftentimes cheap beer. I saw a lot of talk about Bud Light, so I have Bud Light. Yep. Oftentimes cheap beer. I saw a lot of talk about Bud Light. So I have Bud Light. Great. One can of frozen lemonade concentrate. Yeah.

This is where it starts to feel like the seventies. Yeah. Cause I have not had that stuff in 20 years. We always had it when I was a kid, it was in my freezer, but I've never bought it before. Right. Um,

and then finally one pint of whiskey. You never, you don't see whiskey in pints very often. I know. There's really no such thing. And then finally, one pint of whiskey. You don't see whiskey in pints very often. I know. There's really no such thing. And I like the idea of whiskey because I think whiskey with the lemonade is kind of whiskey sourish. And it was more interesting than vodka to me. But this is kind of a curveball for us because I don't often add like liquor and beer together. No.

Right. Isn't that a beer and uh whiskey is a boiler maker right and you drop it in i i think so or do you drink them separately is it like a uh beer and a shot combo that you see at bars a lot yeah yeah and in this case what we're doing with these ingredients is in a in a gallon container combine beer beer, lemonade, concentrate, and whiskey, stir, and serve over ice. So I have a big punch bowl. We're going to dump all this stuff together, stir it up,

and then ladle it into glasses with ice. Nice. And, yeah, six beers. So I don't know if we'll go naked, but these are strong, and we might get drunk. A pint of whiskey and six beers. Well, I got to – so remember when we did the um the guinness shot during the guinness bomb uh we i was at my brother's house and his friend was over uh chris remember he was in the we i think he showed his voice shows up on the pot he made something a couple years ago called a slick lizard which

when i mentioned that to you guys you were like oh that's the hop skip go naked it's i contact him it's a container of frozen margarita mix uh fill a container with tequila and pour it in squeeze about four limes into it and then pour three or four paps blue ribbons or coronas and it's kind of the same idea of just like put stuff in a liquor a soury sugary thing frozen thing yeah what was that called slick lizard and it was because it was he was on vacation at the time and at the like you know one of the souvenir shops where they sell body boards the one of the body boards was called the slick lizard so he said we gotta do that oh that's fun yeah i like this genre and

he made it for me it was it was fantastic if i were going to college in the northeast in the 70s i think i would very much in like like i like walking into a party and the drink is like a a conversation yeah it's like we're all doing this yeah and you know when you walk in and you see like a um like an ice luge or something oh yeah that's so fun you're like we're doing that and and uh it gives me something so i could walk around're like, we're doing that. And it gives me something so I can walk around and be like, you know, we're doing that. I did one of those at a party post-COVID. Yeah. It might have been part of my risk-taking behavior. The ice freezes the virus. Keeps them alive.

Actually, that's true. I did see frozen little chunks of COVID off to the side. They stopped moving because they were frozen in their tracks. Having fun riding down the luge and getting frozen in the end. But it's fun to have a conversation starter if i'm at a gathering without something to talk about i end up just sitting down eating a prime rib at the bar that's something to do i like yeah oh what if i have a prime rib party um i i liked uh we were we're infamous for having the tequila only party that was yeah that was wild um we had all the

tequila you could ever want and we provided no other beer whatsoever we got 30 bottles of jose cuervo for free because we made a branding campaign and then when we had a party we offered no mixers no beers nothing else yeah you were just drinking shots we also could bring beers it wasn't like yeah we didn't say you couldn't bring it i think we called it like jose cuervo presents Weezer or something like that. But I think also we probably assumed people were going to BYO a little bit of B, and they did. That's true. That's true.

But we also had one of those fancy shot refrigerators where you put the bottles upside down in the little spigot. Yeah. And so for a party where only tequila was available, it was presented in a great fashion. Yeah. You had a good version of like ice cold shots whenever you wanted them we had a couple shot skis going shot skis hell yeah yeah that was fun that was a nice theme party uh you're right though if i go to a party and there isn't a nice luge or a prime rib i'm just i stay in the middle of the party well what

do you want to talk about there's's nothing to get the conversation going. Who wants to start? Who's got a conversation topic? I don't. All right, let's make this drink. Let's go. Folks, we'll be right back. All right, we are rolling live here.

Okay, great. So why don't we each crack two beers? You guys each crack three beers, and I'm going to get to work on this pink lemonade. Here we go. Math works out pretty nicely here, eh, Jeff? Yeah! Whoa! Whoa! works out pretty nicely here, eh Jeff? Yeah!

Whoa! Whoa! Wow! Lemonade coming in! It's like a party in here! This is great! That's good, that's pink lemonade? Yeah, they only have pink. I had some lemonade

somewhere in New York today, it was like a $4 cup of lemonade that was like, lemonade and watermelon. It was so was so good now why don't you tell me something about milk milk lemonade yeah and I didn't want to finish it because you were eating you were eating shit um oh this looks frothified oh yeah that's uh maybe we try to pour them gently and now here goes... There is one cup of whiskey and then there's two cups and that is 60 ounces, aka a pint. Wow. And this is a Bud Light and Jag.

Jag. Great. Well, that's the last one here. Wait, are you doing six? Yeah. Okay. Jack Great Wait, are you doing six? Yeah. Okay. Is that that that makes sense, right? You were supposed to do three. Oh You're just picking up the slack. I see. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're off at the party talking everyone charismatic Licing up the I just said to go in highball glasses

yeah look at that seem to be a rule chunking them right in damn I'll ladle water now it looks like our frozen stuff it melted yeah it was weird it never really froze it was like it's like a froze. It was like goo, right? It was just goo. Oh, this is going to be messy. Did you mix it up good? It was a stir. Yeah, I got it right here. And we're back, folks.

We got it in hand, and to me, it just looks like a beer, or maybe even like a Red Bull, like a slightly darker, maybe a little pinker. It's got a little pink to it because we used pink lemonade. I thought it was fun making the drink, too. You don't get to do that on Zoom. Oh, no. I'll tell you that much. to it because we use pink lemonade uh i thought it was fun making the drink too that was uh you don't get to do that on zoom oh no that much here we go ready yeah bottoms up oh that's not so bad

does taste yeah you know it's the the uh I think I was expecting the whiskey to be stronger in there, but it just gives a little twang to it. It's like it's more... It's working for me. The lemonade brick kind of turned this into some generic type of whiskey sour beer margarita-ish thing. I am getting more like sour then. Yeah. I'm not really tasting the beer at all. I bud light is so light yeah right i don't taste beer or whiskey i taste uh bubbly i got the

bubbles from the beer in the lemonade it's good well the you put the bubble in the beard and the lemonade so i think that also the thing with this is that it's sneaky, right? Because that lemonade is from concentrate, so it's strong. So we're mainly tasting that, and you say, oh, this doesn't taste like anything. I'm a freshman. Next thing you know, Technicolor, you're off the dorms. Sorry, Dean. The concentrate is very masky.

Masculine. So it lets you know you're in deep trouble. And I bet you this just tastes better as it gets melty. Because if anything, it feels a little bit sticky sweet. It feels like they could sell this to kids or to early drinkers in a bottle. It's a little bit Mike's Hard Lemonade, as I guess. Yes, it is sugary. I'm noticing that now more.

But I do like, this is making me think, what other drinks could you use beer in instead of club soda? The bubbles are working. Maybe beer will be my go-to topper. Yeah. I'm glad the foam is going down because that wasn't very fun at Topic.

Yeah. What's the old adage? Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the times. Yeah. What's the old adage? Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Right. How about beer and liquor at the same time?

That's a good rhyme. Need a good rhyme? Beer, liquor, same time. Now that's a good rhyme. The way we're drinking this too in a highball with these nice ice cubes doesn't feel like a college drink.

This feels like a... We classed it up. We should have maybe red solo cups, which I have. I should have done that. Round two. And chip ice like from a bag. I wonder if you went to a bar and ordered this, if they would know what's going on.

Or like something like that, if they would be able to make something like this. I was surprised how looking it up and seeing that this has various different names and various different recipes, that it wasn't like, oh, the Hop, Skip, and Go Naked is actually just a version of this drink we've all heard of and you can buy at a bar. What were some of the other names of the ones?

Let's take a look. I saw Jungle Juice, but when I think of Jungle Juice, I think of like powder, Kool-Aid, and just liquors. I don't think of that as being like a beer cocktail. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen this called beer punch and Bud Light beer punch. Beer punch makes.

Yeah. I like the name beer punch. That's fine. And I would maybe do rum. Hey, want a beer punch? What's in it? Rum. It's just rum.

Oh. Oh, okay. Is there beer in it? No, it's just rum. Oh. Oh, okay. Is there beer in it? No, it's just rum. So rum, a rum neat. It's rum punch now. I'm weird by the way. Yeah, yeah.

Get out of here, man. I'm seeing another one here called the knock you naked. There's a lot of this sort of... You know, the naked thing is weird. Yeah. This being like in the 70s, I wonder if... Like streaking was big in the 70s, right? So I wonder if this is like a...

And now it's a sex crime. I wonder if that was like you drink a couple of these and you get your dander up to go streaking. I'll tell you, I went streaking in my shower yesterday. Yeah. Ran right through there. Free balling it. Man man it's funny that uh there was a big streaking thing in old school yeah yeah i mean it's not not like oh yeah old

school otherwise to age so well but uh i feel i feel like we culturally have turned a corner on streaking it's not i don't really hear much about streaking it like it's more like now it's considered like flashing It's an assault I think it's actually dangerous Whereas it used to be like Hey we're all being playful You know what I don't like Is the people who masturbate in public

While streaking I was driving right here In Los Feliz on St. George And I saw this guy And i know he was doing this on purpose but you couldn't really get him on it but he was a middle-aged man uh i would describe him as a weirdo oh and he um had a sweatshirt and sweatpants like kind of an old-timey jogging outfit and he was standing right on the curb uh like on the sidewalk like doing like stretching but he had a big boner huh poking into the street like i as i drove by i was afraid my car was gonna hit his boner so it's like he

knew he was he was like i'm like a flas guy, but maybe if I just act like I'm stretching, you know, then I can't get arrested. Huh. That's. You were in your car? No good. I was in the T-Bird with the top down. So I kind of especially noticed that, you know, kind of whizzed right by my ear. I said, sir, was that your boner I just heard?

Put that thing away, man. He said, what's the problem? We all have them. Oh, man. He said, what's the problem? We all have them. Oh, geez. Well. Did you guys ever streak? No, I never streaked. I almost did in college, and I'm glad I didn't now that.

Like through the quad? Yeah, like, you know, like when they're showing freshmen the buildings and stuff. Like there's a little tour going around, and like, you know, you're on the far end of the quad, and you'd be the guy being like Tearing through nude Well you would have to go through the like To do that you'd have to go through the Biology department where all the

Microscopes are so people could see what's going on Yeah that's true By George it's a penis I've investigated the thicket of pubes And I seem to have found a small pink. Daddy, I want to study this man's penis. How about, speaking of small dicks, skinny dipping. Anyone?

Oh, I've been skinny dipping before. I've skinny dipped in the tub. That's not really what I'm talking about. There was one time after college and I was at home following this one girl around. And she was like, hey, we're going to go to the lake and go skinny dipping. And I was like, who's we, you know? And it was like her and a group of her friends, both guys and girls. And I was like, oh, okay, I will come too. And I was very uncomfortable about it.

So we all get there. We're all, you know, a little drunk. And the clothes start to come off. And here's this girl I've been chasing. She's nude and she jumps into the water and we all start swimming out to this raft. You know, like in Creepshow 2, the raft. And we all get out there and we're on the raft.

And I just remember being oh so small. It was cold, you know? And then my buddy Rob, who I had conned into coming with me, who didn't want a part of any of this, and then found himself taking his clothes off in front of strangers. He's not a strong swimmer, you see? So we get out to the raft. And then we're all having a good time.

Rob slowly makes his way onto the raft and pukes in the middle to the raft and then we're all like having a good time rob slowly makes his way onto the raft and pukes in the middle of the raft and everybody's like and swims back to shore and he's like guys and he's so he's and then he he's the last guy back to shore and uh he was twice embarrassed and he told me he retold me this story the other week when i saw rob it was good to see you bud um that reminds me of a gag that we had you know we used to always talk about making a movie we had we did a web series called horny beach that was really like pervy and then we wanted to make a movie called sharks that was like a jaws but a beachy sex romp type of thing

and we had all these really great gags for that movie no no real plot but one of the gags i always think about is is a couple of guys like a bunch of people go out skinny dipping but then they're drowning so then the uh the coast guard has to save them and some guy is the the rescue guy is lowered down from a helicopter and he reaches reaches down into the water and pulls up two of us by our dicks. And then we're airlifted up, and then the two guys are like, thank you, thank you. And they're being pulled up into the air by their dicks. You saved us. You know why that movie wasn't getting made?

We couldn't get Idris Elba on board. I'll send him your way. Yeah, send him my way, because I want to introduce him to my script. He probably loves a good script. He's an actor. They love him. Sure. Did you watch that Kevin Hart doc series?

No. That's like the apology? Kind of. I mean, it's more of the deflection um but there's a scene it made me like uh edris even more that kevin hart like pitches him a movie and then he's just like yeah yeah cool cool cool and then he doesn't do the movie and i'm like that's awesome yep but we'll get him we'll definitely get him yeah we can get him for this for wait for this sci-fi movie or sharks sharks i think we can get him we'll definitely get him yeah we can get him for this for wait

for this sci-fi movie or sharks sharks I think we can get him for this pod oh yeah for the pod so we'll do a three

sort of two picture one pod deal with him right right good he's a musician too so we could be like hey you could like you know put some

of your music in this he's a musician what does he play he's like a DJ he makes like electronic music cracking that's a real banger man that's pretty good What does he play? He's like a DJ. He makes like electronic music. Hmm. Cracking.

I'm like, that's a real banger, man. That's pretty good. Wouldn't mind hearing this in my pad. That one sounds absolutely massive. I all play this at the pub. And then head home to my flat. So I never had anything like this in college, but did you guys ever have a thing where, you know,

if you're at a party with a keg, you know when a keg comes, it has like the little top thing on it? The button. The button. Or the joystick little handle. The cap. Not the pump. Not the pump.

Not the pump. Like the thing that's like the little cap on top of where you would put the pump. Okay. So it just looks like a lid of like oh right yeah and people would have that yeah kind of people would take it and like if they dropped it into your beer you had to drink the whole beer right there it was the grossest like because this thing would then be like picked out with someone's fingers and just like throw on the ground and like cover dust and stuff and then like it was so i never heard of it

until then it was so gross i'm not into that gross shit yeah i don't like disgusting shit you know what i hated about keg parties is um you're kind of if it's a big one you're like waiting in line and you paid five dollars for a cup and then you're trying to get the keg and it's a pain in the ass and then at our school a lot of times you'd be pushed out of the way and the guy would come through like house cup and like the guys that owned the house the party was that had like steins or something and then the that's uncool and those guys are like coming through house cup step aside that's lame but the worst is the party goers who were reverence to that like like i remember like remember like other freshmen, we got a house. Guys,

can we get the house cup through please? And like respecting that as if it's like, uh, you know, like paying homage to the, uh, like the military people at a baseball. The house cup coming through.

Well, I used to be one of those guys who would say house cup and I'd wear my, my, my own house cup. House cup coming through. Well, I used to be one of those guys who would say, hey, house cup, and I'd wear my own house cup around my groins so when people would kick me in the nards. I had a jockstrap that was branded with a certain Hugh Laurie medical show, and that was my house cup. One of his certain ones. That could have been a bit of Fry and Lori.

What are some other like college-y, back-to-school-y fucking shenanigans? We could have... I don't know about shenanigans. Doing your homework on time? Getting every dollar's worth? Attending a lecture? I remember, like when I think of communal drinks, I remember going to like, I don't know what drink it was, but I went to a Cornell frat party that had like a big communal drink.

That was the drink of the night. But I just also remember like walking into a frat house and then walking down. There is a kind of a thing in Ithaca where there's the, the, you know, the Ivy league school. And then our school was like what they would call like the safety school, you know? So we had a kind of a, uh, class warfare vibe. But I remember walking into a Cordell frat party and being greeted by a frat guy that was just like, just a fucking

cartoon. He had like a white Oxford shirt tucked into jeans and new balance. And he was like, yeah, man, it's great to meet you. Come on right down. Drinks are over here. And he was like being perfectly friendly, but I was like, it's like I'm meeting a lawyer and he's like a sophomore leading me to the beer. My worst shenanigan that I got in huge trouble for, and it sucks because the stakes are so high when you're in college, you're like, am I going to get expelled?

Am I going to lose my internship? But I want to go to Los Angeles. I was drunk over by the circle apartments you know which is kind of like what they're like condos but they were on campus and then i was doing a bit for my friends where there was this tree and i pretended it was a small baby new tree that had like the scaffolding kind of built around it and i was like i'm climbing the tree and i started climbing this baby tree and kind of like like breaking the branches and i'm like look at this funny bit i'm doing and then pacific blue style bike cops a bike cop swoops in you you're written up me do you right up me did I see this

yeah probably because it was right next to those girls that you were friends with yeah yeah yeah so that moment I was like I'm just doing a bit

and then then I got like written up and then I had to go talk to some you know lady who was like we don't think

we can let you to go to your Los Angeles internship and I'm like I gotta tell my parents about this wait wait are you for real

they threatened the internship and I just threw a little hissy fit and then they let me holy shit Los Angeles internship. And I'm like, I got to tell my parents about this. Are you for real? They threatened the internship. And I, I just threw a little hissy fit and then they let me. Holy shit. That would have been like, uh, I feel like that would have altered the trajectory of our lives. Um,

did I tell you about the time that, uh, some guy punched out my friends, uh, the window is Honda Accord. Whoa. No. Um,

we were at, uh, the solar apartments, a different condo chain just off campus. And I was like, is Honda Accord. Whoa. No. We were at the Solar Apartments, which is a different condo chain just off campus. And I was like, you know, it was,

I think it was like the Frisbee team because they were like, do a disc and they turn a Frisbee upside down and fill it. And you can fit six beers inside of it. Yeah, it's really deceptive. That's wild.

So I went with some friends who are mutual friends of some frisbee guys and i was like this party sucks but whatever i'm gonna go talk to some frisbee people and then suddenly my friends were like we gotta go we gotta go and i'm okay we gotta go and we're running out and then there's like some jocks are gonna beat up my roommates so we like run to my friend's honda accord we get get in the car, and he starts backing up. And the jocks come out of the apartment, and whoosh,

one little guy, but muscly little, you know, very dense. You take a normal man, and you kind of compact him down. Like the concentrate in this drink. Yeah, exactly. A concentrated man.

If you had water, he'd be a normal man. Yeah. He whoosh, with his fist, punched out the shotgun side window. That's fucking insane. And then we all jump out of the car like, we're going to fight.

And nothing really happened. But here's what's great. My, we drove away. Did it just shatter away? It shattered. He must have had like brass knuckles or something. He was drunk and mad.

And I don't know what led to this um my friend probably stepped to him and then he stepped oh yeah yeah step up um but my friend who drove the car was very poor and this car was like all he had so then when he he was like i'm gonna you you owe me money man and then he, like the next day he told that jock guy, like, I'm going to get you like in trouble with the school unless you pay for my window. And then the little angry compact guy turned out to be rich. And he was like, my daddy will do it.

We'll fix your window. Don't tell, if I get another demerit, I'll, whatever. That's great. Yeah. So my friend just, you know, I think it was like $700 worth of damage. Yeah. He got like an estimate, but then it was like, that's too low. So he just told the rich kid five grand.

Whoa. Immediately, the rich kid's dad gives him five grand like wires him the money oh and the rich kid gives my friend five grand and then we took we we got five thousand dollars and hundred dollar bills and my friend taped taped it up into like a loincloth why uh because he wanted to like take like foreclosure on the whole thing he wanted to have a picture of himself wearing five grand so he got naked and we taped the money onto him in a loincloth and then we took pictures of them and like put them on facebook or something and uh and it was just like here's my friend wearing five thousand dollars but

it's a good takeaways if you ever have a ever get an altercation with a rich kid, just ask him for five grand, and daddy will pay. Right on the spot. Hey, give me the five grand now. Hey, you touched me? You stepped to me? That's five grand. He punches with one hand, and the other hand has five grand for you. I one time played Frisbee with the Frisbee team.

They were doing, it was one afternoon, they were like. As jocks go, the Frisbee team seems like pretty. Well, let me tell you about this. Oh shit. So I'm walking by with a friend of mine and he knew somebody on the team and they were like,

hey, do you guys want to play? We're just like practicing around. We're like, yeah, sure. That sounds fun. And Ultimate Frisbee is like, you're running around like crazy and it's, I'm like, you know, dying out there.

And they were like yelling at me like come on like i'm supposed to know their formations and stuff and they're like go go uh and like i would try to throw it and like maybe the throw didn't go so great and they'd be like come on it was like a lot of come on man dude that's this sucks when any mean, most of my experience with, like, pickup sports are like that, where I'm like, oh, we're all fucking around okay, and then we start playing, and I'm like, oh, we're not fucking around? I'm the only shithead here? But you think it's going to be like a fun, just like, hey, we're playing Frisbee. It was intense.

Especially, like, Frisbee folks are like Dave Matthews listening, pot smoking, hacky sack guys. Yeah, you would think. And then you get these really competitive alpha types. Frisbee golf seems fun. You ever do that? For all? For all.

I know that George Costanza plays it in the summer of George, I think. I would do that. Man. Hey, you know what else I would do? What? Duh. Let's make another round. Let's do it

Folks We'll be right back And we're back With uh The round two This is good It is good A good little

Refreshing Yeah it was good conversation I hardly even knew I was drinking this thing Oh yeah It could have something to do With the company that you keep Yep This is good. It is good. This is a good little... Refreshing. Yeah, it was good conversation. I hardly even knew I was drinking this thing. Oh, yeah. It could have something to do with the company that you keep. Yep. Tim, you were talking about that loincloth thing.

That reminded me of a very traditional college tradition. When I was a freshman, I went to a toga party. No way. And it wasn't very cool. It was in like a small like basement part of a dorm but what was it like oh it's a toga party we're all wearing our full normal outfits with a sheet on no people went for like they did like a sheet you know i mean like uh like the yeah people have like laurels in their hair and stuff like that caligula yeah but my friends and i my little group of friends, we said, you know what we're going to do instead of togas?

We're going to wrap the sheets around us like we're wearing big diapers. Oh, that's funny. So we had our sneakers on and no shirts and just these big diapers. And we're like, this is going to be so funny. I think I put like a bandana around my neck and sunglasses. We all had little fun things. And we walk in thinking, this is going to be so great. And we get there, and everyone's like, why are you dressed like that?

We're like, because it's funny. This is funny to us. And it was like, we didn't know these people very well. We weren't like the most popular guys on campus. Were other people doing togas? They were doing straight up togas. The fun look. It's not like you got there and nobody was doing anything.

No, right, right, right. That's lame. They should have thought you were cool. I thought so too, or at least funny, being funny. They probably thought you were stealing attention. Maybe they felt threatened. They worked on their togas. Everyone looked great, except for apparently us.

It's tough when you take a big swing. I mean, remember when we were in Hawaii and you guys came down to dinner wearing sequined vests? I said, that's great. Yeah. This is good. That's what I'm looking for when I go to the toga party. I said, mahalo for doing that. Yeah, taking a risk, having some fun.

In life. You can have a little fun in life. That's what I refer to often as my big freshman whiff-ah. Whiff-ah. Now, this was north of the border in Toronto. Toronto. Yeah, the Toronto whiff. See, that would have played so well stateside.

Yeah. The Toronto whiff would have been the Rochester... Riot. Riot. Yeah, laugh riot. Yep, there you go. What are you going to do? Well, let's...

Well, Mike, I hope you don't take it out on this drink. Your collegiate follies. No, no. This is going to be one of the things that puts me in a bad mood, and now I have to give a bad review. No, okay, good. Collegiate follies. It could be a good movie that we make.

Write that down. Let's see. There's not enough movies that come out these days that say follies in the title. That's for damn sure. Final thoughts? It's an order again. I'm having a round two. I'm loving it.

Make again? Make again. I feel like the future is bright, the way that I did when I was a college freshman, with my whole life ahead of me, where I suddenly just have a ton of freedom, but not, you know, you know, you first get to college, you have like a ton of freedom, but your responsibilities haven't crept up all that much. It's not like you've entered the real world where it's just like, well, now your responsibilities are way high. Yeah. You get a disproportionate amount of freedom to responsibilities. Can I tell you something, Jeff, about your whole life ahead of you?

Uh-huh. You've still got it all ahead of you. You think so? Well, life's not over yet. Mike, I'm dying. Well, then don't get near me. I'm dying to have another one of these drinks. This is an order, again, for me, too, because I like the taste,

and it's an easy drink to make yes and i'm curious if someone will make it at a bar yeah i love it well jeff you didn't say appointment only but i guess it is appointment only because you're only gonna you're you're only gonna drink it at a party where there's a big old that you almost can't order it at a bar right you'd have to make this solo you'd have to do one beer a shot shot of, I don't know. I think somebody needs to come around, maybe three young entrepreneurs, and capitalize and make, because this is- This was how the cocktail was invented.

Punch. Anyone can make this. Yeah. So we just got to name it and give it a- Well, don't tell anyone. Let's do it ourselves. Give it a story. We're doing it.

Sloppy Boys LLC lays claim to the trademark. So if you hear this and you try this, you are sued. You're fucking dead. And here's our backstory. We say, you know how the cocktail was invented was when punch evolved into the whiskey sour. Well, we're doing

that again in the 21st century. Right here with... And we have an app. We're going to put it in the cansst century right here with and we have an app we're gonna put it in the can you order it you you download the app yeah and it squirts out of your phone yeah into your ugly fucking mouth you're filthy fucking yapper slurp it up shithead um i i love this drink too i mean and i'll say this i would say weirdly good the fact this is a beer jack daniels and frozen lemonade yeah i think this is weirdly quite drinkable and uh if any liquor companies are out there and they want to sell the sloppy boys beer punch let's talk we're all ears yeah let's sit down If you've got the green stuff

We're listening You know like We're thinking of a figure And if you hit that figure We're ready to do business And also if you give a lower figure We'll take that as well Yeah

And also maybe it's just a deal Where we get free drinks Yeah Or a tour of the facilities Please let us tour your brewery We want to be like The McKenzie brothers just once. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys,

where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also be sure to check out our Patreon, where subscribers can unlock The Sloppy Boys blowout and question for Lennon, our weekly and monthly bonus episodes. That's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Thanks for listening folks. We'll see you next week. And here to close it out is our song.

Well, because it's a back to school in the air. Yes. We're playing our, the sloppy boys hit college night. Woo. Enjoy. We'll be right back. And also RISD. It's college night It's college night

It's college night Out on the quad It's college night It's college night It's college night. It's college night. It's college night on every quad. Oh, but the deans, the deans

are gone. Oh, the deans, they're gone And they're crying Crying They're gone To Fire Island Maine or Vermont

They're gone And they're all alone In the summer homes Until fall semester Cause they couldn't bear it Couldn't bear it And they'll never see all those grads again. Never relive the times that they've had as friends. As friends Cause they're gone

They're long Gone But that's the life of a teen You gotta touch the teens You say goodbye and then You do it all again Here we go It's college night, it's college night

It's college night out on the quad It's college night, it's college night It's college night, it's college night, it's college night for everyone. Ah, that valedictorian's up in her dorm kicking herself, man. Ah, she's full of regrets. Ah, but that's what she gets. She should have gone to wing night, should have gone to wing night. A dip of celery stick In the blue cheese dip

Got that big tech job waiting for her out in the bay, boy Ah, but she never danced And now she missed the chance What once were ones and twos Are now ones and zeros What once were ones and twos Are now ones and zeros What once were ones and twos are now ones and zeros What once were once and twos are now ones and zeros What once were once and twos are now ones and zeros

Cash out your meal plan, my baby got to Fill your pockets up with the ketchup Fill your pockets up with the ketchup Fill your pockets up with the hot ketchup It's college night It's college night It's college night out on the quad It's college night

It's college night It's college night. It's college night. It's college night. Oh Christ, oh God. Them townies hoisting each other up that south campus wall. Oh, they just want to peek. Oh yeah, they just want to see. Grad night banners, flags flying high. Oh, but to them it's all Greek

Cause the townies can't read I'm just kidding about that one, man Just messing around with that one Don't kick my ass, man Just having a little fun Cause it's two for one Two for one Two for one, so cold

So cold A two for one, two for one, so cold, so cold. A three for one, a three for one, three for one, lemon drop, lemon drop. Four for one, four for one, four for one, come and go say shut Come and go say shut Four for one, four for one Bottles of Dom Perignon, baby It's college night, it's college night It's college night out on the quad It's college night, it's college night out on the quad. It's college night.

It's college night. It's college night for Asheron. Farewell! Arrivederci! Adios! Later, dude! Adios Later dude Later dude Does AJ have the prescriptions?