The Sloppy Boys - 50. Tuxedo

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

The guys get fancy with a vermouth-heavy variation on the Martini.TUXEDO RECIPE1oz/30 ml Old Tom Gin1oz/30 ml Dry Vermouth1/2 Bar Spoon Maraschino Luxardo1/4 Bar Spoon of Absinthe3 Dashes Orange BittersPour all ingredients into mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well. Strain into chilled martini cocktail glass. Garnish with cherry and lemon zest.Recipes via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hi, and Tim Kalpakis. What is up? We're your host dressed to the nines today. Oh, we look sharp. A fancy affair. 50 episodes. Can you believe this? I can't believe that. That's pretty wild. Hey, check out these cufflinks. Cling, cling. Wow. Diamonds. Diamonds. Hey, hey, hey, get a look at

my cummerbund. Ooh, nice bund. Get a look at my ass. Oh! Wow, great ass. That's what 50 episodes worth of going to Gold's Gym does for you.

Rock hard ass. 50 episodes. Do you guys have any good memories over the last 50 episodes? Uh, no. good memories over the last 50 episodes? Uh, no I thought we were saving that sort of thing for 52 Oh, okay 52 is the big one year No, I'm gonna do, on 52 I'm gonna do my funny card trick

52 pickup Card trick Yeah, I don't know Oh no Hey, we could indulge some memories today Yeah, would that I could remember anything after drinking for 50 episodes of YouTube Yeah, would that I could remember either, geez You guys are always like, hey, hey, why don't you come on the pod and we'll do, we'll just do another drink Okay, that sounds good

Didn't we do that last week? I'm fucked up every week We invite you every week Mike, sign on to the pod. Have a few laughs. Yeah, yeah. It's not that fun. Let's see. I think a fun memory for me would have been, what's everyone's favorite drink so far?

Hmm. That's, oh, Jesus, Michael. I think last week, Tim, you said that you liked that the pickleback was your favorite so far. Yes, and then also on the Patreon show, I poured my pickle juice into my vodka on the rocks, and that was really good, too. So, poof. Yeah. So, poof. I think, I've said this before Kubu Libres

have been a thing that I've done a lot since we did them and the key was just discovering how important lime juice is also Singapore Sling is a thing I'll do or a poor man's I'll do like gin and pineapple and throw some other crap in there yeah if you've got a big barrel of pineapple

man I can't remember the Singapore Sling I'll tell you why you would remember the Singapore Sling you'd see it around more if you'd ever come down from that yellowbird tree i know the yellowbird is what i'm into for for making that that's been my new like go-to fun cocktail to make but i think uh i still hold true to that cosmo was like oh yeah a huge surprise yep and a good one and then that's back in general in the world. Hey, me and Jeff recently had some sidecars out in the wild. It's kind of nice to have when you have it on the pod and then you go road tested in the real world. And, ooh, they fucked them up real good.

I came out of the pod being like, ooh, the sidecar at Dresden, you gotta have one. And then we went and we got four of them and they fucked them up really they like but well in a spectacular way in a clear way the the the uh we all we it was like we got a round of four sidecars and they all come out you know you're looking at a tray with all one drink you're like that's a nice easy order and then we we uh sip on them the salt the the sugar rims are salt rims margarita and i spit it out and said well this is fucking trash and then we didn't send it back because jeff was trying to seduce the waitress hey oh god this is an editable that's an edit point jeff was trying to romance the waitress uh-huh well at one point

she ran okay this was here's a cool story about that waitress and this is part of what uh what caught my eye about this this vision of a woman she was wearing a covet mask she uh there was a kitchen accident and then we saw her like sprinting through the back patio she on her way out she was like guys uh another person will be right out with your drinks there's just been a kitchen accident and they need a medic or something whoa and we saw her run away we're like oh that's weird and then she ran back in with a backpack and then the next time we saw her we were like so are you a medic and she said street medic and it it turns out during the BLM protests, her and some friends got

paramedic training just so that they could be handy out at protests. And she was telling us all this stuff. Yeah, and no certification or anything. She's just kind of on the streets. She knows what to do if the shit goes down. She can tend wounds and do all that. I called her back to the table. I was like,

lady, get your medic stuff. I think my BAC is too high. She pumped me full of water. It sounds like it's too low because you're not drinking that disgusting drink they gave you. Yeah, that's true. What's more interesting to you guys, this bartender's street medic or David Blaine's street Yes, yes, yes.

Her street medic or David Blaine's street magic? Similar. Why even try? I gave myself every opportunity to bail out of that and just say, forget it. I'm happy that you said it because now you get to reflect back on it and maybe rethink your life a little bit.

Isn't that what this 50th episode is about? We're giving each other a rock bottom moment to start from and start a new 51 will be different i think the bullseye was probably the what was the bull the bullshot oh yeah it's probably the worst thing no way i i like a bullshot i would do it right now me too no i i had a bad time with that one. Honestly, I've learned that I just really don't like Campari and Aperol spritzes. Those are just not, I've learned, are not for me. I like them. I had a

Boulevardier the other day that had Campari and I thought it was good. I like the bitter stuff. You guys don't, Jeff doesn't like bitter, Mike thinks bitter is ashy, and then me, I think the bitter is better. The bitter is better than the Twitter, the setter. That's another one to maybe reflect on.

Could someone maybe bail me out of this fucking thing? I'll bail you with some b-b-b-b-bip, bip, bip! I heard about NASA and the story on a fun little ride. A fun little ride. A fun little ride. A fun little ride. A fun little ride. A fun little ride. A fun little ride.

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A fun ride. Oh, shit. Wow. That was a good one. Okay. Damn. Gin Slopums, to celebrate that we're doing a gin drink, gin slopums to celebrate that we're doing a gin drink was made by

Zach Mack, aka the ghost of Craig T. Nelson on Instagram. We love that slop head. No shit. He knows Photoshop and Zach's always doing some funny Photoshop. I'll be like, oh, I've been tagged by Kelsey Grammer's

ghost and I'll look at him like, oh, right. We talked about that thing during the podcast. I forgot. And I'll look at him like, oh, right, we talked about that thing during the podcast. I forgot. And Zach's finest work was the Tony Soprano or the Sopranos Prescriptions Supercut. Folks, if you don't follow us on Instagram, find the Sloppy Boys.

And Zach made us a big supercut of every time in the entire series of Sopranos that the word prescriptions was said. And it's amazing. It's a real, it brings a tear to your eye. There was, I just posted a little clip because I'm watching Sopranos. I just posted a little clip the other day that was Tony. It's season one where AJ gets in trouble and they get him like a therapist comes in and gives him a test and he might have add

and it's like well then we've noticed that aj has been fidgeting and tony's like what's a fidget what comprises a fidget like that's such a funny just like pulling that out on its own what's a fidget man i gotta find like there must be a best of AJ video on YouTube. There's everything on YouTube. But AJ is like my favorite fuck up in like all media. His best moment, and this is not spoiling anything, but in one of the later seasons, Tony is walking past AJ's room and he stops and he looks in his bedroom and just sees AJ. He's sitting on the computer in his underwear, laughing really hard at something.

And we don't even know, we don't see what it is, but we just see Tony's face. Like my son, like that, where I was probably maybe the same episode or earlier episode where, uh, Carm walks into AJ's room and he's got his baseball mitt and he's

trying to swat a fly like high up on the wall yeah perfect perfect wait hey whatever i mean i think in like the the pilot where does the line come from so what no fucking zd now yeah that's like that's kind of like the blackout line of the pilot right at the end yeah like oh i thought that was great and um but i forget like what brings that line about i think that's tony's panic attack oh right right right that's the hey that's that's the first of a string of pearls from old aj love him yeah he's good perfectly cast you never know what that guy does he does he does he know he's good at acting does what did david chase just manipulate him perfectly either way we're getting the performance of a lifetime hey before we get into the actual booze news have you guys did you guys know that i saw the gin blossoms live

no really i did with the goo goo dolls oh well that makes sense. Those seem like very similar groups. Hey, a lot of people think it's the same band. Yeah. Goo Goo Gin Blah. That was great. I really liked all the echo effect on that Booze News theme. I like that it wasn't just, I heard about Booze News. It was like, I heard about Booze News.

And then with some farts thrown in. Come on, it's great. Our samples, just the matter of factness of like, bip-a-dop. There should be more like urgent rock songs where then the vocalist is like, hip, bip, bip-a-bip. Bip-a-bop, mm-bop-a-dop.

Just like the drummer's drumming, the guitar player's strumming, and then the singer is just sort of kick back and hip bop stuttering and you know he had all the he had all the materials to make an um bop parody yeah and said no no i'm gonna go with the jim blossom more interesting zigged when we thought he was gonna zig okay if you have a booze news theme send it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com here's what i wanted to discuss on today's booze news theme send it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com here's what i wanted to discuss on today's booze news we've been a little distracted uh you know with our own heads up our ass with a lot of covid talk um then you know very fun having fran on so we were talking pickles and

stuff but in during those weeks there was a pop culture story that we didn't really get to discuss uh that was big on the net um larry david uh comedy writer comedy actor television producer has had a few big tabloid moments recently have you seen these on uh on the internet i saw him with chalamet that's the one i was very own paul arrakis that one um the other one i was thinking of is when he was on his phone at a fashion show, which is kind of a funny snap. But let's go back to the Timothee Chalamet paparazzi shot sitting at an outdoor cafe with Larry David. Now, Mike, close your eyes and picture that photo.

Do you remember what was on the table in front of them? Somebody's cell phone. Tim, can I answer? Doesn't answer. A goddamn espresso martini. A goddamn espresso martini. The drink that the New York Times said was that maybe the drink of the summer. We drank it.

We liked it or I liked it. We said no. We said hell no to it being the drink of the summer we drank it we liked it or i liked it but we said no we said hell no to it being the drink of the summer but i do think that um a guy like larry david drinking a drink is a signifier that it has officially infiltrated the culture you know he's like an old grouchy guy he's not going to be going out he's not on the first wave of the early adopters having a aperol spritz or whatever he he's going to drink something when it's like safe to drink it that was his you think or or chalamet's it was his it was i mean uh i would almost guess the chalamet doesn't drink doesn't he seem like a non-drinker i don't know maybe a was he. Maybe a drug man. Might be a drug man.

Might be in that Hollywood drug scene. I hope not. Also, Larry, you're right. He's not the hippest. He's not going to jump on any old thing. But he's one of these guys who reflects life back at you. When Hamilton was the big thing, he had Lin-Manuel on the show. Yep.

He sort of got his finger on the pulse of where we are at as a culture. So that was nice for him to sort of say, I'm going out with Chalamet. I listen to the Sloppy Boys all the time. I like their Espresso Martini episode. I'm going to try one. Yeah, I'm reflecting the biggest pop culture things

at the moment are Dune and the Sloppy Boys. So I'm going to reflect. I'm going to hold up a mirror. Oh, speaking of Dune and the Sloppy Boys. So I'm going to reflect. I'm going to hold up a mirror. Oh, speaking of Dune, I should probably, I said Paul Arrakis before. That's not the character's name in Dune. It's Paul Atreides, I think it is.

It's not Arrakis. Arrakis is a planet or something. The book is very difficult. And did you finish the book, Mike? I thought you did. Oh, boy. I finished the book. I read some of it, then audio book some of it,

and then read some more. Gotcha. But did incomplete. Five stars. So wait, you started the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood novelization having not finished Dune? Oh, this was a while ago. This was a couple of years ago.

But you never finished it. I finished Dune. Oh. But I started it. This was a couple of years ago. But you never finished it. I finished it. Oh. But I started, it was different in different chunks and it all, I was very confused about the whole thing. If I listen to an audio book, I still use the verb, I read, I read that book. Yeah. I don't think you should carry any shame for reading a book halfway and finishing it on audible. It's all the same.

I carry no shame in that, but I think it's, uh, is a big part of why the book didn't like flow well for me. Cause I'm listening to different parts of it on reading it, listening. It didn't make sense. I,

I really only on, uh, I only listened to nonfiction. Like I'll listen to like biographies and stuff cause I'm getting information. But with a, with a fantasy novel, that's so much so much written in you know with a lot of style like that sometimes you get a weird reader and they're like yeah welcome to doom yeah and you want to hold those pages you want to sift through the pages yeah yes and and mike uh correct me if i'm wrong

like your copy of dune was not like the latest pressing. You had like a vintage copy of Dune. Yeah, it looked cool. It was like a cool looking. I like that. Like when I get an old book that's been around for a while, I kind of want to get one that's like got the 80s cover art on the, like the illustration.

I like to read the first edition. Oh. Where the pages are crumbling in your hands. Yeah. I like to read the manuscript with all like the editor's notes just penciled yeah wrap it up all right that's it for booze news hee haw i didn't have any weird sounds also do we still do that it's kind of a pain in the ass how about you get sam wainwright going hee Well, maybe just pick one and stick with one for a while.

All right. All right. Yeah. Okay. I liked that one that you had that was kind of a mechanical trash compactor type vibe. Yeah. You know what I'll do is I'll go through and I'll prep like 12 of them and it'll just be sort of a grab bag.

I always, did you ever do one that was like kind of like a funk? I always imagined like we're done with the booze news. So we like. Likevc pipe sound almost more like the the escape hatch on the millennium falcon we're shooting the garbage out into space oh yeah or like or like when you go to the bank remember the drive-thru bank like oh yeah with the shuttle thing was like yeah yeah that's perfect maybe maybe yeah you do the thump sound and then like a bunch of Star Wars blaster noises blasting it away. Oh, shit.

The big man. That was a TIE fighter. Yeah, the big boy. I thought that was Luke and Mr. Darth Vader man. I thought it was the Rancor monster. Hmm. You know, Darth Vader actually sounds like ho-peh ho-peh.

That's what they wrote in the script. That's what they wrote in the script. Ho-peh? Really? And before he shows up on screen, it'll be like strange voice parentheses off camera or like off screen and be like ho-peh ho-peh. I recently watched Star Wars with, I left the closed captioning on

on my TV and it was a lot of hope I would have written ku ka ku ka is what I think that sounds like that's more of a Jason thing like a kiki oh yeah yeah yeah kiki kaka kaka kiki curry is what French people say instead of cockadoodle do oh rightle-doo. Oh, right. And Raikou Chai-Chi is... Is what French people eat instead of eating normal chicken. Unless they're eating snails. This whole past minute would be great fodder for the ghost of Craig T. Nelson.

Yes. You've got your challenge, Craig T. Ghost. Zach Mack. Well, now I should probably... I should probably get into the drink of the day Yes The 50th drink of the year We're all dressed up nicely

It's the 50th drink of the year We made it to 50 episodes Congratulations to you two Congratulations to the listeners Congrats Congrats Right back at you I'm sure you know

There's probably a bunch of people out there Who've heard every single episode Good for you That's fantastic. And we love to have you listening. So we decided to dress up today in tuxedos. And what are we drinking today? None other but the tuxedo.

You've had? I've not had. I've not heard. Not heard. Not had. Not heard. I've had. I've heard.

Not had. Oh. Well, the tuxedo. So this is, from what I've been, my research, research it's very much it's sort of a take on the 50 50 martini we remember this no it's for 50 gin 50 uh vermouth there you go oh shram likes him jack shram drinks the shrammer likes him uh yeah he was when we when we met with him he was saying or maybe this was on the zoom thing we did he said yeah the 50 50 is like his favorite like day drinking thing oh right i do remember that yeah he said if you're having a martini

when it's still light outside you have more vermouth but i pray to god jack fram is not listening to this episode because he told us to only use vermouth when it's fresh. And I'm about to use some vermouth that is. Futured. Nine months old. Oh, yeah, me too. No, mine is brand new. This is the good stuff I got over here.

This is. They didn't even put the they didn't put the label on it yet. It's so I was like, give me that thing. That's strange. It came right off the line. They probably usually don't label it after they've, hmm. No, I don't know. That's tough to say.

Well, anyway, so this little martini-ish type drink was in vogue in the late 1800s, early 1900s. And pretty much the story, kind of the only story there is, which is good. I like these. It was, uh, it's my job. Yeah. It was invented at,

uh, the tuxedo club in, there you go. Yeah. In, hold on. Let me find, this is how,

uh, stupid people were that long ago that when they opened up a fancy club, they called it the tuxedo. Yeah. Uh, the tuxedo club yeah uh the tuxedo club a private member-owned country club and gated estate near the town of tuxedo park 40 miles northwest new york so this is like uh probably rich types this is uh probably not my kind of guy i've heard of this play uh i've

heard of this when reading about martini history. But actually, is it possible that the tuxedo, the history of the tuxedo suit actually stems from this place? It's something like that, yeah. There's a Henry Poole from London. Yes, this guy James Potter, a rich New York guy, was in London.ondon and harry pool this other guy he met showed him this tailor who made him a tuxedo jacket suit then he which he then wore in like back to his tuxedo club see i don't understand yeah i don't understand if the tuxedo club was named after this guy's jacket

that seems crazy i want to say that i was like reading about the history of the tuxedo and that it did like it shocks me that it was as new as it was like there have always been fancy suits uh but the the actually look of like a black tailed tuxedo may have come from the new york suburbs at this time. It's crazy, but you know what's so nice about this podcast is we are not doing a podcast about the origins of fancy country clubs. We're just doing the drinks. Neither are we experts on being tailors.

So we don't do country clubs. We also don't do suits. No. No. You got to go ask Reynolds Wood woodcock that sort of thing oh that's a great character great movie wait who's that timothy phantom thread oh i love that movie i do and sausage i like the breakfast order yeah okay that's right you know when when a movie is like when something's spoiled for you but not spoiled like i went into that movie knowing that the breakfast scene was funny

and i was like oh i don't want to know that the breakfast scene's funny i want to you know just have that be revealed to me and then i'm watching and then i see him like sitting at a breakfast table i'm like here we go and then i laugh my ass off i i still spilled my popcorn. The scene where he's like eating dinner, his girlfriend, I forget her name in the, in the movie, her girlfriend makes him dinner and he's just like totally thrown off by the whole thing.

And they're eating asparagus. And he's like, are you a spy? Are you spent to kill me? He's good. So this is a drink that I have never heard this before, but it's's there are different like versions of it so it's a tuxedo original recipe which is i believe what we're doing

yeah that's what we're doing and then there's the tuxedo number one recipe tuxedo number two three four and then the difference tuxedo recipe i don't know how legit that is difference is uh a recipe like a website i go to yeah Yeah, that's what I'm on, but I don't know if that's like, it adds some balancing sweetness. We want, we want to do the IBA. Oh yeah,

we're doing the IBA, but I've never seen just like number one, number two, like with such a easy name. I'm afraid that I'm not going to like this already. I think it's got too, it's got too stuffy of an origin for me. But,

but you do like martinis, right Jeff? Yeah, but I don't, I don Yeah, but I don't like vermouth. Yeah. I like my martini. I like olive juice. I love martinis, but I like them dry. But I'm open to this idea that I like variations on the martini

just because, you know, when we did our New York cocktail tour, it was just like fun to try different drinks that look and taste a little bit like a martini, but have something else going on. And this, it's a 50-50 plus some fancy factors. Well, let me read you what the ingredients are and the method, and maybe I'll let you in on what the garnish could and couldn't be. But there's something in this, a couple of things in this, the ingredients I've never really dealt with before okay so yeah 30 milliliter old Tom

gin right and that's just come up before and we decided we couldn't find it I'm just we're just using I know that the Tom Tom comes from like the you know old Tom Tom Collins Tom gin old Tom gin was a specific type of gin but we're not

finding it anywhere so we're just fucking using gin just doing 30 milliliters drive ruth okay which we all do not like to drink on its own uh this is an interesting one half a bar spoon maraschino luxardo now i don't know what the hell a half a bar spoon is bar spoons are those long spoons that you use to spin in a mixing glass no i get that but like hell a half a bar spoon is. Bar spoons are those long spoons that you use to spin in a mixing glass. No, I get that, but like a half of a bar spoon. That's a tough thing to measure out. A lot of the old recipes in the Jerry Thomas guide use quarter bar spoon. Quarter bar spoon?

Who the fuck knows? That's like drips because the bar spoon is very shallow. That's what I'm saying. So now here's your next thing. the bar spoon is very shallow that's what i'm saying so yeah now here's your next thing fourth bar spoon absinthe yeah fourth great quarter and then finally if you don't have absinthe use any licoricey thing yeah then finally three dashes orange bitters great that i have orange bitters i already had that in my fucking kit this is great and the method let's pour all the ingredients

into a mixing glass with ice cubes stir well strain into chilled martini cocktail glass now this is saying stir I so badly

want to shake not Mike here's what I'll let you do put it in the shaker but don't shake the shaker just like swirl it around in a circle aha

but maybe a few shakes might get in there and then garnish with a cherry and lemon zest. Lemon zest. Okay. Cherry and lemon zest. That's kind of interesting too.

Do you think we should zest it out? Like express it over the top? Maybe I'll do that. Yeah. Give it a whirl. It's your, Hey, it's your tuxedo.

Wear it the way you want. I kind of like that. This is going to, that's cool. That is cool. What, that is cool. What about Men's Warehouse? Instead of you're going to like the way you look, I guarantee it. It says, it's your tuxedo.

Wear it the way you want. It's high time you don't have the tuxedo. Wear you. What about the audacity of that guy, the CEO of Men's Warehouse warehouse to put himself in the ads why would you not hire daniel craig or some some tuxedo guy to sell your tuxes you're some dumb ass bearded old guy and you're like no put me in the commercials all those ladies the ladies love to see me in my suits they want to watch that's why he did it yeah it's funny with suits in particular like if you're dave thomas go ahead and put yourself in there and sell some suits in particular, like if you're Dave Thomas,

go ahead and put yourself in there and sell some burgers. When you're a suit guy and it's like, I look good and you should know it, that's a weird one. Now, I want to cut this off at the, just right the head of this thing. I want to say, you know, I've had some issues before in the past with Luxardo Maraschino liqueur. Yeah. And before anyone's like, oh, Mike's going to drip some old cherry syrup in it. I bought the thing.

Which you have done. I bought the real thing, which I have done. But now this is not that now. Now I'm assuming, I don't remember the first drink we did with this, but I'm assuming I didn't get it because it was so expensive. Yeah. But now that you have it, you'll have fun, Michael, because this is one of these kind of acquired taste things,

but I have acquired this taste, and now I love it. And now I use it, and I make myself some motherfucking Hemingways all the time. Well, this is great. And it's in kind of like a cool basket around the... It's like a Chianti bar. Yeah, it looks very nice. And then also we discovered that that is cherry, but it's more like a cherry tree.

It tastes like the wood and the sticks. It's got the stems. It's got the leaves. I'm seeing something here on the label, though. It says, a new recipe now with more ash flavor than ever before. Oh, no. This is the thing that I would have called ashy, right?

No, I think that you called... Luxardo Bitters was ashy? It was like Luxardo Brand had made their version of a Campari, and that's what you thought was ashy. That was the Luxardo Bitters I think I had. Yeah. Okay.

And then the Absinthe. Okay, this might take a second. This is a very interesting one. Yeah, let's get into i'm i might when i mix mine up i might like um take off my white gloves and my top hat please yeah yeah you don't want to get them messed up right everybody be careful yeah great now is not the time to test your dry cleaners abilities please off we go all right folks we'll be right back see ya and we're back talking tuxedos oh boy i just googled bar spoon and it's just a fucking teaspoon and I

could have been using that but instead it was a shit show I used my long bar spoon and I tried to do a quarter I tried to do half I did too much of both of them I know this is bad this is going to be a bad one did you guys mine didn't make much didn't yield much

mine didn't yield much either yeah I have the small kind of martini glass, and it just filled it up once with no extra. Jeff, very nice toothpick work. Admire that. I tried to put my cherry between my zest just like you, and it kind of looks stupid, but Michael, hold the drink up for us one more time,

and let's discuss the color. Why does it look like beer? Yeah, it looks kind of like it's got a sort of an amber hue, doesn't it? Wait, what is it? Mike? Well, no, wait a minute. Now, wait a minute. Now, just wait a minute.

We know it wasn't the Luxardo. Yeah, what the hell was it? Oh, maybe it was the... I have a theory. What? Did you... We're supposed to use dry vermouth. Yeah.

And did you use sweet red vermouth? No, no, it was dry vermouth. It was... How the fuck do you have a red drink? Well, maybe the absinthe. My absinthe is like kind of greenish. Oh. Green?

Yeah. Or is it my bitters? You have a red drink. I don't know. Did you use orange bitters? I believe so. My orange bitters only have the slightest orange tint to them, and so my drink is clear.

Jeff's drink is clear. Yours looks like an IPA. Now, if you look at the Diffords Guide pictures, they have all different colors here. There are some that look like this. What the fuck? I'm looking at a Google search, and they all look like clear martinis to me. Wow.

Let's get a look at that vermouth, Michael. All right, hold on. Is it vermouth month or what? Ugh. This was a pain in the ass to make, huh? It was, it was fun to get some practice with the, um. Stirring. With the stirring, because I, I really need practice with that.

I tried to do it to the letter. Yeah, this is dry vermouth from the, the big red bubble boys. He's got, yeah, martini Rossi. He's got, yeah, martini Rossi. Extra giant. Maybe it was my bitters that did it. Yeah.

How much bitters did you put though? It was only supposed to be three dashes. Three dashes. But you know, the bitters we've done it before where it's like a dash can be kind of funky. That's true. Some, some dashes.

I kind of think of it as like three shakes of my hand, but sometimes what comes out is all over the place but here's the other thing hold yours up so that's not a lot of like no no maybe I just didn't put enough

mine's not a lot either huh well it's just one of those mysteries you got a chemical reaction on your hands there Mike yeah it's one of those strange things about life on earth hold on I'm trying sometimes you mix green and clear and clear and clear and you get red

my gin do you use slow gin? My gin. Yep. My vermouth was all Luxardo. Yeah. You were pouring a bunch of clear ingredients into a glass and it ended up red and you didn't notice.

I noticed. I noticed from the get go. From the get go. Okay, cool. Very nice. My great. From the get go.

I said, this thing's a little tinted and I don't know what to think. Okay, so my running theory now is that you had some giant glugs of bitters, and maybe your brand of bitters is darker than ours. They're Angostura bitters. Hey, I mean, you don't have a cherry in there, right? Mike, did you use, is it orange bitters, or is it Angostura? I use Angostura.

Okay, so that's why it's dark. That's why, because it wasn't orange bitters. is it Angostura? I use Angostura. Okay, so that's why it's Angostura. That's why. Oh, it wasn't orange bitters. Gotcha. Right, you're right. It is just Angostura bitters. That doesn't seem like a major infraction. It's not.

It's not. But, you know, hey, it explains the mystery. I just wanted to not live with the unknown. It's not. I mean, it can't be. Okay, let's sip. Let's sip. to live with the unknown. It's not.

I mean, it can't be. Okay, let's sip. Let's sip. Oh, interesting. Fancy town, baby. I'm wearing a tux. The tails are down to the floor. The top hat's touching the ceiling on this one. Yes! Alright.

There's a hint of ash in there, it is it is that luxardo i think i like that luxardo i'm not getting too much absinthe which is kind of a relief so it's not it's not like a big good and plenty um the thing that jumps out to me that i'm liking for maybe the first time is like, Ooh, martini guys that like a silky martini, you know, they, they want it to be a 50 50 that's with a lot of vermouth and then they want it stirred.

I normally I'm like, nah, shake it up, get those Japanese ice chunks in there and, and make it thin. Yeah. I'm noticing that this doesn't, this feel viscous.

It's, it's velvety. Yes. And that's nice. It it's like it kind of like hangs out in your uh throat a little bit it really does you can have like one drop of it will be all the way down in your stomach but then the back of that drop is still on your tongue yeah it's crazy and and we talked about the james bond shaken not stirred thing right uh i don't know if we did money penny well uh he was making an everyman move.

Yes. Stirred is considered the classier thing. Shaken is a more blue collar. So it was strange for James Bond to have a blue collar choice like that. Do you think the... I know I was taking everything in my being not to shake this thing just because I like that. Yeah. But I stirred, I stirred.

Is that anything just because it's like a faster thing and you're like, you know, popping out martinis quicker that way? Because a stir is a really like, yeah, it takes some time. I mean, I'm a shaker myself. Me too. I'm a shaker too. And wait, James Bond was doing it because he was in disguise, right? No, they knew he was Bond.

Ooh, I wonder. I thought that in Goldffinger there or whatever dr no whatever one it was it was like he had a reason to try to pretend to be less classy than he is that oh that might have been the original thing but it's you know stuck with the character it's like his he did it all the time yeah or maybe just ian fleming is thinking like make this guy relatable to the everyman but that's weird because james bond is not it's not like aspirational for us like the dumb asses like us could be James Bond. He's Mr. Swamp.

Have you heard the theory that James Bond is actually part of the identity of 007? And that's why all the, there's all these different actors playing one James Bond. I like that theory. I think that's cool. I'm excited for that new James Bond movie, to be honest with you.

It's been, me too. When is that coming out now? October? Or has that got pushed with the Jackass movie? It's a package deal. Well, they're like, look, Pontius

is the star of both. Let's just push them both. I was at a movie the other day and they did a trailer for the Jackass movie and I was like, ooh, that's right. This is going to be fun. It's funny because they're kind of handing it out. They're bringing in the new guard. I mean, there some eric andre in the mix and stuff like that you know i'll say it about this drink too upon first sip it did that like and it's even second

sip doing this like cooling uh thing down your whole front like your whole uh core did you pour it into your mouth or did you spill on your tuxedo? Yeah, I poured it just a little in front of my mouth. So it went all down my chin and neck. Oh, that's, I like that tactic. It really helps you cool down. You can feel it. You can feel the whole thing kind of go down your whole esophagus into the stomach.

And I don't know if you guys can see on my tuxedo. I have one of those bib things that goes down the front. It's not a bib. I forget what they call it. guy that dicky yeah the guy at the at the rental store um he didn't tell me what it was but in old cartoons somebody would get flustered and it would like flat it would like telescope yeah and like stick to their face i remember like elmer fudd would be like peeling it off his face it's so funny to watch those as a kid because it rained like the what 30s 40s and you see it

and it's like first of all i don't know what that piece of clothing is and secondly it's sticking to his face there's some cartoon where someone like pull uh pulls it and it like rips out and then the next one comes down like it's like a paper towel sure sure that's funny shit that's funny stuff what do you guys think let's have a little suit talk here let's say you're invited to a formal affair is it a pain in your ass or do you guys think? Let's have a little suit talk here. Let's say you're invited to a formal affair. Is it a pain in your ass or do you say, hey, I'm going to go get a suit? Because some people rise to the occasion. Some people slink away.

Can I tell you something? Do you rise or slink? I rise. I try to rise because I wear a suit so infrequently. But when I do, I finally have a suit that like, or a couple of suits that fit me correctly. Yeah. Yeah. And when I wear a suit, I don't know if anyone else can tell, but I can tell that I try, I kind of like walk a little differently

and I catch myself. I'm like, oh God, relax. Oh God. Well, I feel like there's definitely a difference between like getting a suit that you like picked out and like, as opposed to, you know, suits were foisted on us in, you know, Catholic school and college graduation and all that stuff. And you always had to do black or navy blue. Actually, navy blue was the sort of the if you only have one suit, it's navy blue pretty much and then at one point going to weddings and stuff well initially we would go to weddings and uh we would wear our like sketch comedy suits with khakis and just look like absolute dog shit there's a picture of us at a friend's wedding

when we were in our 20s and uh we just look like the young republicans club yeah uh because we're like it's like this is a blazer and a tie and you don't, and not, not ready for a wedding. Just like, Oh, I could have worn this to high school. That hodgepodge thing that like you get away with for a little, for a few more years post-college when you're like, Oh, I'm still figuring it out. But meanwhile, you're going to your friend's weddings who have it figured out. But then you get yourself a nice suit. Like, uh, at some point post a birthday boys, I got myself like a blue gray chambray J crewy suit that, uh,

Oh, I love to put it on. You know what I just bought? I found it on, uh, I found it on Amazon and I bought myself a, uh, three piece Kelly green suit.

Fuck. Yeah. Wait, I've seen you in that. That's a sharp suit. I just got it. This is going to be good. Come, uh, uh, St. Patrick's day. I don't know why I bought it. fuck yeah green wait i've seen you in that that's a sharp suit no i i just got it this is gonna be good come uh st patrick's day thank you i don't know why i bought it i was just on amazon and i

saw it i was like hey that's a a doable price it was like a 50 suit get it tailored mike you're gonna get that to the tailor i need to did it come yet oh yeah i got it it's in the closet oh it's good it's a three piece of vest oh it's gonna be good but i'm a little concerned about the uh the jacket i think i haven't like i put it on right out of the package it came in and like the the shoulders were like sticking way up so i think it just needs to like settle into not being in the package yeah that's what they say about suits they need to settle in that's what they say about the 5050 suits especially. Yeah, you got to settle into them. I've never ordered one online because it's so... You got to wear it.

My size changes so much. You put on a, like, I think I would wear, my jacket size is like 44, but my favorite suit is a 42. And then sometimes I've worn a 46. It's all fucking over that place. I got two of them. One from a different place, kind of different sizes.

So one of them I liked and one of them I was just not the right color green. So I'm going to send it back. Smart. You just like the green? I like the idea of a green suit. Yeah. Yeah. I saw one a long time ago at H&M.

I was there for, I think, I forget what I was buying there. But I saw a green suit. I was like, ooh, I should buy this. And I was like, what am I going to do? Buy a suit today? And I didn't buy it. And years went by. I said, I got to get a suit, a green suit. Did you sleep a wink in that time?

No. No. Green suit. Green suit. Green suit. You know what I've been seeing a lot out there suit-wise? I've been seeing a lot of the, like, royal blue. That's the suit I've been seeing a lot out there suit wise i've been seeing a lot of the like royal blue that's the suit i've been seeing a lot of out there in the world like guys our age is like oh they got like a jewel blue suit

yeah yeah right right there's like it's funny watching suit trends because like suits are suits but then especially if you watch like uh award shows um there was like a trend a couple years ago of like the blue tux and everyone was wearing the blue tux and then there was kind of like pattern tux and then at this year's emmys a couple weeks ago i saw a lot of velvet tuxes and like velour tuxes that i thought that we had done that already i i i have like a velvet a black kind of velvet blazer that i used to wear on where like like new year's eve 2007 maybe maybe it's coming back in style. It's coming back, I guess. And I'll reap the rewards.

You know what's a good suit color? Not a suit, but a color combo people don't do often, but it's a good look. It's kind of 80s-ish. It's like a gray blazer with black pants. Ooh. That's kind of cool. I don't know that I've seen that.

Well, check it out. You may try it yourself. I'm picturing now it kind of is like a private investigator. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're wearing sort of a squished down hat. And the vent in the front of your car has got a lot of papers and old cups and things. Yeah.

Why are private investigators always downtrodden? Why don't they ever have like a really rich and famous private investigator? I guess. Because they're not too private anymore. James Bond, I guess, is the richest PI we got. Rockford from the Rockford Files. He'd wear like a gray sport jacket and dark pants all the time. People talk about the Rockford Files theme being really good.

Is that true? Yeah, it's one of Tim's favorites. I played it on our Patreon show. You did? Yeah, okay. It goes. it true yeah it's one of tim's favorites on our patreon show you did yeah okay it goes it's got a lot going on for him yeah and then it also goes who's bernadette near that's a meme that's a meme michael it is you know what mike you look good in

that goddamn i didn't know that well mike you don't know the memes you wrote a whole song about it i didn't write that song that was uh you found a song that was lil nas x himself oh right you you you'd found that i had only found that you mike you look good in that in that white suit the the sort of cream white suit from the lennon video john lennon's suit yeah that's a good one. White suit is good. You look, it makes you kind of a Mark Twain, you know? Yeah. Or like a Wayne Coyne.

Sure. Or what's the, there's a writer, Wolf. What's his last, what's his name? Tom Wolf. Tom Wolf. I did a, I did a bit on Conan once when he was early on in California. I remember that. It was, I, the bit was like

a bunch of famous authors were going to be ziplining and reading passages from their book. So I went to the Conan like offices. We got all dolled up. It was me,

some other guy who was supposed to be Malcolm Gladwell and I forget who the female author was, but they, I was in a white suit with like a little gray wig

and we went up like an hour north to the zipline course. I just spent the day zipline course i just spent the day ziplining and uh like every once in a while i'd have to like read a book while ziplining and they'd take a shot of it but it was so fun it was one of those like it was such a whirlwind of what was happening i i don't really know like the whole day i was like so what are we we're just going up there to zipline what's going on here and they're like shut up your face won't

be on camera really just go with it just have fun zip lining now tim you have a you have a tan suit me oh yeah i would have never thought to buy that because you know there's the infamous obama tan suit that he got a lot of flack for and uh i would have never thought to be be bold enough to buy a tan suit but uh my friend tristan was getting married and i was a groomsman and he picked out a tan suit from the Ludlow shop at J.Crew. So I got one and I really liked it. And then that's kind of a funny thing where it's like, then I

wore it to a bunch of like parties and stuff like, yeah, me, my tan suit. His idea, I should have to credit him everywhere I go. Yeah, me. You know, a tan suit is like a nice, a rumpled tan suit. I think you can get away with a rumpled i like the rumple i like whiter tan i like looking like a you know like like the financier of an archaeologist's mission yeah yeah yeah you put on the like the panama hat and the bermuda suit there was something i saw a while

ago online i have no idea where it was but it was like a suit made out of paper bag material. It was like a fashion show or something. Oh, yeah, I've seen that. I thought that was really cool. Oh, what about oppo suits? Oppo suits? Like opposites? You ever heard of that?

I'm going to look it up. O-P-P-O suits. Oppo suits. You know, Will Ferrell once wore that money suit to a Funny or Die party. Oh, yeah, okay. They have the crazy patterns and stuff. Yes, I've seen I've seen these.

Do they have like American flag pattern ones that do you guys wear on the 4th of July? Yes they do. And they're only like 99 bucks right? Yeah they're all

100 bucks and you can get seems like it's a jacket and pants. Yeah. Yeah. This is like where you might get a

David S. Pumpkins suit. I've been meaning to get one of those. Let's see. You got one with some Pokemon on it. You got one with some Tetris blocks. Oh, these are wild. Hey, let me ask you this. Here's a suit question.

Yeah. Well, two suit questions. First one, what do you think of the button on the jacket are you using it are you not using it because i learned there's a rule about it i'm using it until after dinner then that thing is we wide open yes sometimes it pops off on its own well there goes that button what about you duds you using it um not only do i use it i go back and forth indecisively all night long. Well, here's the thing. Go back and forth decisively because the rule is when you're standing, you button it.

When you're having a seat, you unbutton it. Hey. That makes sense. And you can tell because when you're sitting and it's buttoned, the whole breast of the suit is crumpled up and you look like a little kid. You look like a fucking moron. Is that what that... So, Jeff, you all night long, you go back and forth.

Is that what the Lionel Richie song is all about yeah it is about he's i think he saw me uh sitting with it buttoned and futzing with it and he's like i got an idea i gotta get to the studio right now hey and the kid was like hey hey dad hold on nicole i'm watching this young blonde boy fidget all night and then this other guy came over he's like what constitutes a fidget all night. And then this other guy came over. He's like, what constitutes a fidget? Hey, constant. Nice one. Nice one.

Thank you. Thank you. Here's my other suit question. You're picking, you're picking out your tux. You go cummerbund or vest? Vest. Come on.

Do you have to pick one? You have to, in this situation, I don't like, I don't like the vest. No vest for me. Yeah. The vest is not the best. Well, like cummerbund reminds me of marching band so i don't like that either cummerbund is one of those things that just like rides up rides down like it's never sitting it's like not even attached to you just like it loops around your belly yeah sucks it's not cumbering let's say it holds your belly up maybe you got a big fat pregnant stomach

it holds it up it's good it's an odd it's an odd thing to wear do you guys know how to tie your own bow tie no it's fucking impossible me neither no i i have done it but i then i spent the whole night kind of worrying about it i don't i don't think i've even attempted it ever it's so funny too with stuff like that when you're if you're insecure about it that's so much worse than anything else. And that is like, you know, that's what they tell you with menswear in general. Like you, you feeling good in what you're wearing is so much better than actually wearing something good. Yeah. We talked to him on here.

Last time we had tux talk was, uh, Chelsea Peretti saw us wearing tuxes and pointed and laughed. And it's because we were like, the tuxes were wearing us. We weren't wearing the tuxes. Right, right, right, right. Hey, did we have bow ties for Ferguson's wedding? Um, no, we, we, we were ushers and he just said, wear a black suit. Okay. Cause I was going to, I went to some wedding where I got a nice, like Barney's New York bow tie and I love how it looks. I've never successfully tied it. But one thing I like, my plan was like, Oh, I'm just going to like wear it undone. Like I'm never going to even get it done in the first place and just go out, start the night in the rumpled suit

with the undone bow tie. It doesn't work. Yeah Doesn't work. Yeah, let's make that look work. You want to look like a cool guy in a Ciroc commercial. Like Aaron Paul. I own this town, baby! Sometimes, Jeff, yeah, I'll go out for like a run or something when I'm all sweaty and gross and then I've got to

go out to like a dinner and I'll be like, oh, I'm just gonna kind of make this sweaty look work for me. No, that's different. No, he wants to be the end of the night party boy. Hey, I'm cool. Well, Tim, at your wedding, we got, uh, Brooks, Brooks brothers ties or, or were they Barney's ties? You guys got your own black. I said, just wear any black suit. And then here's a Brooks brothers tie. Yeah. Oh yeah. But what's funny about those is I had the Brooks brothers guy wrap them up for me and then handed them out at the wedding and they opened them and they had big creases down the middle should have thought of that um wait i just had

a funny memory and it was oh when i said we own this town i was i was john haskell uh director of our music videos many of the good ones reminded me recently of a, of a, a moment where I went from feeling cool to feeling uncool real fast, where I was at a, I was at a very hip rooftop Hollywood party, celebs or, you know, and, and, and in West Hollywood with some friends. And then I was talking to Anders Holm, you know that guy? Sure. From Workaholics.

And then we were looking up at the Hollywood Hills from this rooftop. And in front of him and all my friends, I go, it's hard to believe someday. I was like, yeah, hard to believe someday all of this will be mine. Kind of doing like a douchey, like I'm going to own this down bit. And then, uh, Anders goes in front of all my friends. He goes, yeah, yeah. This is all going to belong to clap.

This was like, yeah, this guy, uh, he knows me, but he thinks my name is clap. And it was funny that like none of I was with like some like writers that were working on a thing I was working on and like none of them said anything. And I was like slinked away. Yes, I'm clapping. Just slowly jump off the edge of it. Are we allowed to jump from here? slowly jump off the edge of it. Are we allowed to jump from here?

Clappus, you've done it again. Clappus is such a, it sounds like clamp it. Well, here's the weird thing. Have you been to West Hollywood recently? They did change it to Clappus Wood. Clappus Town. Clappus Wood? West Clappus Town. This is all Clappus Wood at this point.

Well, all right. Should we jump into another one of these guys? Yeah, let's do round two and come back with some final thoughts, eh? Yeah. Here we go. And we're back. How do we feel, guys? I feel good.

Yeah. Should we give our thoughts? Yeah, do it. I think this, I was in your camp, Jeff, at the beginning of this saying, I am not going to like this. But I'll tell you, this is an order again for me. There you go. Like the martini, it's like I can see this this being bad i can see it being much better than this but what i have now is is good and i i want to see like uh i want to get into

the world of the tuxedo i want to slip into a tuxedo yeah i want to slip your tuxedo right off yeah looks better on the crumpled up on the floor of your bedroom. Mike, I'll begrudgingly join you in that sentiment. Yeah, okay, that's fine. You know, I still think this is kind of an average drink for me. I get that it's fancy. It's got some history. I guess I appreciate that for the pod,

it's not a drink that evolves over time with the ice. You have it and it tastes how it tastes and it tastes how it tastes, and it tastes how it tastes from the top all the way to the bottom. I'm never going to make one of these again. It's a little bit of a pain in the ass and not worth the quarter bar spoon of this. But you have the stuff.

You got to get rid of the stuff. It is one of those drinks where it's like, oh, maybe I'll try more Luxardo and less Absinthe, or double the absinthe and no Luxardo. Like I'm never gonna, I don't see myself ever having like a little, a chemistry night.

Yeah. This, so it's like, this is an order again, but like a C, a C plus, you know, it passes,

but it's not going to Yale. If somebody is like, we're doing tuxedos all night, I'd be like, Oh, this is a sad night um yeah i i like it and i i put it in i like i mean i like luxardo so this in the fancy category of some of the drinks that are pleasant you know like i guess maybe the the brooklyn or the manhattan

or the yellow bird that have a little little thing going on to them um i think i like this better any 50 50 martinis i've had before i like this better having a little luxardo in there but as far as ordering again it's like it's definitely a appointment only because i it's hard to choose this over a martini you know because it's interesting to have a drink where you take ingredients out and it gets better and i just love gin i like gin that's really cold and that's that this would be i feel like if that's that it's like that's my final word on that not go any deeper on this this is one of those yeah if i'm like if i've had like uh i've gone out and been like oh i've had martinis each time I've gone out recently. Let me switch it up and not just be the martini guy. Vesper is on the IBA list when we'll do that.

I think that that's what James Bond orders. And the Vesper martini we'll get to someday. It's maybe made with vodka instead of gin, but then it's got lilac, lilet, instead of vermouth. It's like a little li, Lillet, Lillet. Instead of vermouth, it's like a little liqueur. That's interesting. I like these different angles. It's like, how do you martini? Do you martini with Lillet?

I think Vesper was the, I read the first James Bond book, and it was Casino Royale. I think he names it after a woman that he meets. Vesper? There you go. And Casino Royale is the movie also where he first says, shaken, not in fact, stirred around that much. You spoon, not wrist. And I'll show Indy. You better get the grail.

What was the movie where he was the bad guy who controlled the weather? Avengers? No. Something like that. The blanks. Untouchables? No. No, I think it is the, wait.

I think it's the Avengers, but it's like based on the British TV show. It's like a bunch of British people. Oh, there's a different Avengers. Yeah. Uma Thurman's in it. I just remember being a kid and seeing a trailer that was like, if you control the weather, you control the world. Oh, yeah.

That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also, be sure to check out our Patreon, where subscribers can unlock the Sloppy Boys blowout, our weekly bonus episode. That's patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys. Thanks for listening, folks. Thanks for joining us for 50 episodes. Oh, here's to 50 more years. Here's to 15 more.

We'll see you next week. Later. Bye, folks.