The Sloppy Boys - 59. Hot Buttered Rum

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

The guys try a buttery blast from the past.HOT BUTTERED RUM RECIPE2oz/60ml Jamaican Rum1 tsp Powdered Sugar"half a chestnut" Unsalted ButterUse a medium bar glass, hot. Dissolve the sugar in a little boiling water. Add rum and butter, fill the glass two-thirds full of boiling water and stir. Garnish with grated nutmeg.Recipe via Jerry Thomas' Bartenders Guide, 1862 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Hanford and Jeff, I coughed right when you spoke and Tim Kalpakis What is up on the housetop click click click? Stylies! Stylies? Edition.

Speaking of housetops, what was the, uh, oh, Kalpas runs this town. Oh, yeah. Klapas. Klapas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, Klapas. Wait, wait, yeah. Klappis. Klappis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, Klappis. Wait, wait, wait. Ander's home in front of a bunch of people called me Klappis. But hey, someday this town will be Klappis Wood, and everyone was going to be answering to me. You guys are going to be Klampet Wood when you're done with it. Mike! You take that back.

You know what I'm talking about. Clamp it. Is that the Beverly Hillbillies? Is that the Clampits? Sure. Never seen it. They're kind of dumb. Never seen, never heard.

Mike! Green Acres? Let's get down to brass tacks. You got your booster. You got your flu shot. Thank you. Yes, I went in yesterday. I did the whole thing.

I went in. I was signed up for a booster, but went in and I said, can I also just get a rapid test and a PCR test? And they said, sure. I said, okay. And then I got in there and the doctor was getting my booster shot ready. And she goes, have you had your flu shot? I said, no. And she said, you want to get that too?

I was like, sure, let's do it all. Load me up. Whatever you got. Oh, yeah, poke me with everything. And I did, yes. The rumors were true. I felt like shit yesterday because of all the crazy crap going on in my body. Oh, that's why it was.

Even today, I woke up feeling a little flu-y, achy, and I said, I better not be feeling this for the rest of the year, folks. Yeah, if this is life from now on, that's no good. No. No. No. Unprecedented times, for sure. And the new normal.

Interesting stuff, yeah. The new normal on NBC, check it out. It's not just a hit show anymore. It's your life. It's your life, mister. We should pitch a show that's sort of like one of those modern family type knockoffs that's about the three of us.

The three friends. The new band. The new band guys. We each have wives and band. The new band guys. We each have wives and kids. The new band guys. Tim, you got any medical updates? No. I mean, I didn't get a booster because I got COVID,

but I'm going to still get the booster just to be double safe. How about you? Same. Same. I got a little update. I bit my tongue yesterday. Oh! Not even yesterday.

A couple days ago. Bit it so bad it was bleeding, like blood shooting out of the side. Oh, my God. That's bad news. I'm guessing in that moment you said something along the lines of, I bit my tongue! Yeah, I was alone in my apartment, but I did say that. You know when you bite your tongue,

the thought that goes through your mind isn't even like the pain. It's just like, oh, but I did say that. You know when you bite your tongue, the thought that goes through your mind isn't even like the pain. It's just like, oh, I could have avoided this. I'm so stupid. You're like, fuck. I can't believe you've done this. I can't believe you've done this. It was such a deep bite.

Like, you don't bite this part of your tongue. I don't know what it was doing near my teeth. It had no business being there. Guys, it shouldn't have been there. It shouldn't have been there. It shouldn't have been there. It was wrong place, wrong time. Well, there goes your popsicle modeling career. That's for sure. So I only bring it up because if I start to speak a little,

if it sounds like I came back from the dentist, that's why. Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too. If I enunciate weird. Once we get into the second round and I'm still enunciating weird, that's what it is. Yeah, I think we all did, actually. Yeah, man.

Hey, you turn your music down up there. I'm sorry. I bit my tongue. Jeff, is it going to be hard? Well, you've got an open sore in your mouth, so you can't eat anybody's butt for a little while. Yeah, no, no, I know. It's disappointing for a lot of people.

Is that the rules? That's the rule. I saw people lined up in front of your place. I'm kind of like, it's going to be a while. Not going anywhere for a while? That was a fun. People on Twitter were having fun with the CDC COVID guidelines. Like first wave COVID.

And it said like analingus if you have open source in your mouth or something. I thought you were going to say analingus if you have to. As a last resort. If you simply must get off. Analingus is fine. Well, Jeff, if I see that, if I turn around and see that tongue anywhere near me, I'm going to kick you right out of here. Yeah, good. No, you should. It's nice and see that tongue anywhere near me, I'm going to kick you right out of here. Yeah, good.

No, you should. It's nice and healed up. For both our sakes. Want to get into some BIP? Yeah, you have BIP? Yeah, BIP it. Yeah, I'm okay with it. Who's news time is here?

Spirit's far and near. Picklebacks and sweater packs and several kinds of beer. That's not easy. Dang. Oh, no. Oh, no. Honk. Yeah. Good honk.

That's going in the Honk Hall of Fame. Yeah, that's the longest honk of the year. Booze News Time is here by Dan Padley himself. Hi, Booze Padley. I met that man. And if you have a Booze News theme, send it Send it to the sloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com Yeah that's one of those ones You hear something like that and go

Yeah he got the assignment right Oh god The assignment was assigned to him Now do we say that sort of shit here No that's like a meme thing Do we want to be choogy Or do we not want to be choogy We never really talked about it.

I think I'm going to be kind of choogy this holiday season. Okay, let's agree. The three of us can be choogy just this holiday season. This is the holiday season. It's a nice time to be choogy. Yeah, until January 1st. Choogy. Yeah.

Great. I'm a little corny. Great. But, you know, hey. Great. It's that... apparently kid uh it's that certain time of december yeah it's that december-y time of year and we're we're attacking the holidays folks right out the gate here we said we're gonna we're we're gonna we're doing cozy drinks and stuff. And this whole month, we're going to be celebrating that certain December feeling you often quite get.

So, well, for Booze News, I just wanted to say that I've been out there in the wild, and I have seen with my own eyes that the holiday gift packs are out. Ooh. No. In the wild? I'm talking liquor bottles. Yes. Liquor bottles in nice little packaging with little side trinkets packing

the shelves of pharmacies and grocery stores. You've seen? I've seen. Tim, I thought you meant the seltzer pack, but you mean the gift box of the liquors with the commemorative glasses. The gift box with the liquors with the commemorative glasses. Oh, yes. the liquors with the commemorative glasses.

Oh, yes. Now, if I remember correctly, if you were smart like Tim, you would have already had your holiday packs purchased the day after Christmas last year. Right. And then wait this year to get the next year's. How does that work out? If you want to pay top dollar, go get them now. Be my guest. Yeah.

Well, if you're a corporate sucker, yeah, go for it. You've reminded me that right after Christmas last year, I bought a rum chata. You showed it to us on the pod. Yes. And remember, I was bragging that I had missed Christmas. And one of the little side gifts was a nip of peppermint rum chata and i didn't want to drink it because it was no longer the christmas season so i still have it i've waited a whole year and now i'm gonna maybe i'll drink it live on the pot and you guys will be shocked

wow you should uh yeah drink it christmas morning and then we'll play it. I will do that. Anyway, what I was getting at here with the liquor packs is I've seen some fun ones. I saw you know, a Grand Marnier with a couple of nice Grand Marnier glasses. I saw fireball Christmas ornaments. That's kind of

cool. But then which one did I take home? Here's a little show and tell for you. Gadoosh! Take a look at that. what's good pick where we got a crown royal fine deluxe what's the uh what's the the fun part of it two rocks glasses two nice big fat rocks glasses would be good for an old-fashioned and also don't you love that crown royal bottle it kind of has a i dreamed of genie. You rub on that thing and it comes right out. I dreamed of her in the past tense. I will have been dreaming of her.

At some point in life, I'll have dreamed. What's done is done. I dreamed of genie. Is it dreamed or dreamt? I've been saying dreamt. Am I wrong? I dream, Current present tense. No, no.

But what is the past tense of dream? Oh, oh, oh. Dreamt. No, dreamt is not a word. It's not a word? It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. If only there was a search engine.

You know what? I wrote this down the other day. This is weird. Really? And maybe these are the only two verbs that do this. Burnt? The vowel sound, you know how it changes kind of strangely when you go past

tense? Yeah. Think of teach, taught. Taught. Yeah. Seek, sought. Sought. Why do we do that? Wow, I've never said sought out loud in my whole life. Why are we do that? Wow, I've never said sought Out loud in my whole life Why are we taking these high

E-E-E verbs and turning them to A-a-a in the past tense Yeah, I want a nice E-E-E I don't want to get an a-a-a I said sought, I was in the grocery store Looking for the ingredients for This drink today and I said I can't find the butter

And the person working there was like, well, have you looked around? I said, yeah, I sought it out for almost an hour. I sought this aisle. I sought almost every aisle. Well, what did they say? He said, it's by the milk. And I said, all right, well, you could have said that 10 minutes ago. It's by the milk.

Have you sought by the milk? Milk and vanilla? Ooh, no, no, no. Ill, ill, milk. Vanilla. Sure, but vanilla milk would be good. Sure, it would be good. Yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah. Sure, it would be good. Good, yes. Okay,

I just wanted to say, Slopheads, I like seeing, I know what's at my local Albertsons, but I like seeing these holiday liquor gift packs that people choose to buy. So snap a picture and tag us on Instagram and we'll share it because it's a very fun thing. It's weird that it works on me, but I do buy them. Tim, I don't think it's weird that it works on you. Are you saying I'm some sort of big fat jackass? I think in Crown Royal,

they got a picture of your head with a target around it. It suits the person who buys Tabasco shirts and vaults. Tabasco for wear. I bought those on the runways of Milan. Here's the other thing. Tim, you said that Fireball had Christmas ornaments. I'm curious to see what else is out there beyond glassware. Because I'm a glassware guy.

I would never go Christmas ornament. But think of all the directions you could take it. You know, if you folks find something cool out there, we want to see it. I think Fireball's been doing a lot of crazy stuff, too. They got barrels and kegs and stuff. So tweet us. Tweet it up. us tweet it up tweet it up and speaking of doing something it up wrap it up oh ring dong ding dong ring dong ding dong yes very religious almost yeah well this is a Catholic podcast. Oh, yeah.

Hey, we are. All three of us were raised Catholic, right? And we still are, right? Yes. Yes. Practicing. We're still being raised. Yes.

Otherwise, you have no business celebrating the Christmas holiday. Let's just say that, look, we've given this show a year calling it a cocktail podcast. You know, we've been very successful, but I wouldn't say we've beaten Joe Rogan yet. What if we just start billing it as a Catholic podcast? I wonder. I wonder how well we do. That would be funny. A Catholic drinking podcast. The Catholics, yeah.

The tags on iTunes would be like, comedy, food and drink, Christianity. That could do well for us. Apparently there's like a prayer app that exists and it's like one of the, his numbers went up huge this past year. Really? Not because of religion necessarily,

but just because of spiritualism and just like meditating and stuff. People use it for that too. There's an app for everything these days to the point where pretty soon next you're going to tell me there's an app for Uber. Yeah, I know. You don't have to go on your laptop and sign in

to order an Uber. Other times I'll be at a bar or something. I've got to get home and I'm like, alright. I go behind the bar. I'm like, you let me get on. Give me your laptop. I've got to get home. And I'm like, all right. I go behind the bar. I'm like, you let me get on. Give me your laptop. I got to get home. And let me bring it outside until he gets here. Hey, you know what?

I bet you, though, we'll see something in our lifetimes where you combine cameo with a priest. And you can be like, hey, have that priest give me a blessing or have that priest call my mom and sort of bless her new house. I bet that's... Bless her house. I bet that's...

Bless her house. Yeah, that's the next most popular thing a priest would do. Hey, well, what about our sponsor that does the online therapy? Yeah, BetterHelp. Wonderful company. They should

get into the confession game where you get a priest on there doing confession on the app. Oh yeah, but don't get hacked. Don't get hacked the confession game where you get a priest on there doing a confession on the app. Oh yeah, but don't get hacked. I'll tell you something. After the way I made dinner today, I need a priest over here to bless this mess. Mike. Oh Mike, don't

say that. I made a mess. Cleaned it up nicely. It's looking very nice here now, but earlier he would have had a blessing. What was dinner tonight, Mike? Dinner tonight was another, I did a very simple fusilli. What was the vegetable side? No vegetable side.

Usually when I do pasta, the pasta is the thing. The vegetable was the tomato sauce. Oh. So I was right. You were right. And I cut up some ham. I knew that something weird was getting cut up. I was waiting to hear dates.

It's not too weird. Oh, really? It's not weird? The dates are not weird. You had a ham steak and some scissors. No, no. This was not a ham steak. I did have a ham steak a couple weeks ago.

I finished that thing in a day But I had some Maple ham Sandwich meat Cold cuts, yeah I didn't have enough for another sandwich Because I've been stacking them pretty high lately Oh yeah

It's that time of year Threw them in there I sort of fried it up like a bacon. Well, sounds like a delicious meal. Are you ready to wash it down? Yes. With the drink of the day. Now we are talking.

Hot buttered rum you've had. Ooh, not had. Not had. Excited to have. You've heard? Have heard, not had. Yeah, I've heard, but it's like, it's a weird one. I had. Excited to have. You've heard? Have heard, not had. Yeah, I've heard, but it's a weird one. I'm glad we're doing it.

This feels like what this podcast is for. This is cozy Christmas stuff. Like weird, antiquated, old-timey stuff. Yeah, how old-timey are you picturing? I wonder where this drink comes from. Oh, we'll never know. Well, good night. Good night,

folks. Scrooge times. Scrooge times, Victorian England, Dickensian. Dickensian times. Well, you're quite close. Say what? Old colonial times in America, though.'re talking revolutionary war johnny

tremaine that's right johnny tremaine is a fake guy but real war uh so is johnny appleseed to be fair what about johnny rotten he's i associate him personally a little more with like the 1977 punk movement yeah remember we saw him once at uh what was the pig whistle or cat and fiddle and he was chewing somebody out yeah we were sitting there having a beer and we heard some yelling going on and we looked behind it was johnny rotten yelling at somebody for taking his picture i think that's great that's how you want to see someone yeah he was like standing up and screaming we're like yeah in character was he yeah was he like grabbing his crotch as like a uh i

love when the brits do that when they're like oi as as like a middle finger type thing they just grab their crotch but in your direction i like it when the ital right now oh um okay so yeah colonial rum the colonies that's a british colonies um this was a thing that they thought was like a health drink you know because they were like a rum will keep you warm and butter makes you strong um and this pops up in that old uh the jerry thomas book um how to mix drinks we talked about that in episode one i believe the tom collins because this is like kind of the first big cocktail book in the 1800s and hot buttered rum is in there he calls it hot rum and then he's also got hot spiced rum but um it's around for a long time and then it gets a boost because in 1937 it's mentioned in uh this big best-selling novel

by kenneth roberts northwest passage you guys ever hear that i've heard that love that piece of literature oh you're a bibliophile though yeah yeah yeah he's so dismissive of his power no it's not a power it's a it's a hobby that i love but but we're not talking about that book anymore we're talking about tim the rum well this mike you can tune out because it's probably boring for you but that's a book it's a novel about the uh like the french and indian war and here's a quote from it says after a man's had two three drinks of hot buttered rum he don't shoot a catamount says roberts all he's got to do is walk up to him and kiss him just once then put him in his bag all limp and catamount is like a like a bobcat i think think. I don't know what they're saying here.

If you've had some drinks, you don't shoot a cat, you just hug him? Maybe your breath is so stinky from booze that it knocks it out. Yeah, or maybe you're so confident with your rum goggles. Oh, maybe. Oh, is a catamount a lady? No. I googled catamount and it said that it's like a mountain cat. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't shoot a lady.

Yeah. I wouldn't. Yeah. I mean, especially now with the Me Too movement and everything. It's interesting, Tim. What did you say that book's about? How did you phrase it? Northwest Passage?

Yeah. I said it thinking I said it was about the French and Indian War. That's interesting. I just, you know, yeah, that takes place in the book. Really, it's about individualism. It's about, you know, maturing out of, you know, away from your, you know, fighting the ranks and individualism. This is like a literature podcast at this point. I know.

You guys keep pulling me into that. Come on. We're talking about hot buttered rum, a drink. A drink for all the holiday seasons. So the people who read this book say, we got to start having that again. It comes back in a style. And then our beloved

trader vick not don the beachcomber but his rival trader vick um invented a tiki version of hot buttered rum and put it on the menus at all the trader vicks and he made his with like a batter um that you mix in with the rum sneaky with the tiki he got sneaky with the tiki and that's that's what i've had this drink twice. Once at the Tam O'Shanter because they have it around the holidays and it was good. And then once I bought a little jar at

BevMo, they had Trader Vic's hot butter rum batter. And you just basically take like hot like rum and boiling water and then you mix in a teaspoon of this like sugary batter they got. Okay, so when when you say batter you mean the powder that is used to make what i think of when you say batter because when i when i hear batter i think of slime like pancake like pancake batter but you mean it's actually like the combination of spices it's like a it's like a dry good well

it was kind of slime i mean i do have a little jar of Trader Vic's slime, and it smells like... Have you ever had that Trader Joe's Speculoos or that cookie butter? Oh, yeah. It's kind of like that, where it's brown sugary, but it's soft like Play-Doh.

Now, let me tell you this. I made some of that for my second round. Michael! We're going to do the uh what is the tom the what is it the john thomas jerry thomas jerry thomas the thompson guide is a map book yeah and john thomas was a steakhouse in ithaca new york yeah we're not doing that version but yes uh i was reading about what like looking for recipes and had all these batter things and we talked about the batter one and then i said i'll about looking for recipes and it had all these batter things. And we talked about the batter one.

And then I said, I'll give this a whirl. And it was fairly easy to make. We can talk about that later. Fantastic. Because, yeah, I think we should all try different variations for round two. Because this is kind of a loose drink. It's got to have hot water and rum. And then every website we looked at had a different recipe for it.

And people really like to tweak it to their specifications. This is not on the IBA list, but we wanted to dive into a cozy classic. So I think. This is a good one to know early on in the holiday season. Cause like, you know, this happens to me all the time.

It'll be like Christmas, like, Ooh, I got to look up some Christmas drinks and they're all kind of too complicated. And it's like, Oh, well I've missed the whole season.

I could have been sitting on the couch watching, you know, Christmas vacations or drinking this thing. Yeah. So, so I agree. Let's, let's keep it simple.

And the recipe we're going to use now, and we're going to put in our show notes is going to be the Jerry Thomas recipe from the 1800s. Very, very, very simple. Probably not very good. And then we'll jazz it up as we see fit. Hit him with it. Scoop up, scoop up. Here's that recipe.

Take notes as I speak. Oh, and also this is written in the 1800s, so it's funny. Hot rum. Use a medium bar glass. Hot. Oh, preheating the glass. That's a good idea. Jerry Thomas says, take one small teaspoon full of powdered sugar.

It's funny to say a small teaspoon full because a teaspoon is a teaspoon. And then powdered sugar. I'm using a sugar cube. Do you guys have powdered sugar? I do have powdered sugar from this pod. Hell yeah. Oh. Next up, one wine glass Jamaica rum.

Right. Now, wine glass, that's a lot of drink, maybe. This is a funny measurement that he uses a lot, and I looked it up, and a wine glass is actually just two ounces. Okay. I think I emailed Jack Schramm to double check on this and he didn't write me back. He probably saw it and said, ooh, wine glass full of rum. That gives me an idea that he's passed out somewhere. He's been on a bender ever since.

Jack, if you can hear us, just call us. We need to know you're still around. We're worried, bud. And finally, the third ingredient of three. One piece of sweet butter as large as half a chestnut. So sweet butter is unsalted butter. And I don't know how big a chestnut is, guys. What's half a chestnut?

I'm sure you do. Half a chestnut. Half a chestnut just just go check your roasting fire oh yeah oh shit or your open fire when I think like a half a golf ball yeah I was gonna say like no bigger than a golf ball it would be a chestnut okay so a half chestnut I mean sounds like a tablespoon to me yeah okay um and then here's in the method we're going to get a little one more ingredient dissolve the sugar in a little boiling water a little boiling water add the rum and butter fill the glass two-thirds full of boiling water that's interesting because we don't really know what it's a medium bar glass so two-thirds of a medium bar glass i don't know what i'm gonna use there and then finally stir grate a little

nutmeg on top and serve great so that's another ingredient folks dissolve the sugar and boiling water add the rum and butter and then add more water okay i was just reading back the i'm what am i gonna use i wish i had like one of those little irish coffee mugs that's clear maybe i'll dig around for a clear mug and uh when we say jamaica rum i mean i got myers perfect that's that's spot on right that's spot on i got that uh smith and cross that we used a while ago is that uh clear or is that gold that's cool it's dark good good good because i was like i've got some jamaica rum that tastes really good but it's clear and i'm realizing now that i it's i might just make myself a big clear hot clear drink um but uh yeah lots of people use

brown sugar for this but this just said powdered sugar. Hey, that's life. The thing I'm expecting here. What I read was that making it this way, it gets like oily on the top and you get like, you're going to be drinking a little bit of the buttery greasy oil there. Don't feel like I like that. Yeah.

That when I had it at the Tamo shanter, it did have a film on top that was pretty fatty. Yeah, but I think we're supposed to O'Shanter, it did have a film on top that was pretty fatty. Yeah. But I think we're supposed to be like, this was making us strong. We can go caroling all night. That's great. I love that. And I won't even need to shoot a...

Catch him out. Catch him out. Great. Should we get into it? Yeah. Let's give it a whirl. Off we go. Folks, we'll see you after these messages.

And we're back talking hot buttered rum. Oh, those ads. All those ads. How do you listen to the podcast without the ads, Jeff? Oh, Mike, you know what you got to do? Go to a desktop computer. Punch in patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. That's the answer to your prayers, man.

Well, what do you mean? Well, see over there, you can get all the access to all our bonus content and ad-free episodes of the mainline cocktail podcast that sounds like a good deal saves me some time pretty much folks if you don't subscribe to our patreon and and pay us money for the ad-free episodes then the least you could do is make sure to buy all the products from our sponsors when you listen to this free episode yeah each and every one. Please and thank you.

That will help us. It's honor system. It'll keep the advertising execs off our back. They're breathing down our neck every week. You guys got to push the product. You're not pushing the product. Mention Manscaped again. Buzz your balls.

Well, let's see them. Oh, come all ye carolers look at this ah come on beautiful yeah i'm just into my cape cod mug yeah i got a normal coffee mug and i made it a little small because that's a lot of butter and yeah i made it a little small too i didn't want to just have a big water cup yeah i did probably a quarter of a chestnut's worth of butter. Not me. As I was cutting the, what do you say, slicing the butter? Cutting the butter. As I was doing that, I was like, I remember we just talked about chestnut, but I have no idea what size a chestnut is. Slicing the butter is kind of, that's what I say when I'm out on the, you know, dancing

on the dance floor. Oh, I'm slicing the butter out here tonight. I think people say that, you know, cutting the cheese, but if it's a wet fart, you say slicing the butter. Who sliced the butter in here? I tried to eyeball exactly half a chestnut and it kind of came out as just like a butter pad size. Like what you would put on top of a pancake. Like a substantial one, though, like you'd get when you top of a pancake like a substantial one though like you'd get when you're when you're being a little nasty yeah yeah i also stole a little sliver and

ate it and without salt in it butter doesn't really taste good salt is salt is the whole point that's what i hear and i got a whole brick of unsalted butter hanging out in my fridge now you gotta salt it up drink mash it up with some salt you know what i like is when you're at a restaurant a breakfast place and the butter they give you on top of a pancake is a little scoop ice cream love it oh yeah or it's like it's like whipped it's like a little chunk yeah denny's style that's what i need for this all right let's drink these Bottoms up. Bottoms up. Ooh. Okay.

Warms my frigid body. Ooh. I got a mouthful of my nutmeg right from the top. Ooh, I forgot nutmeg. BRB. BRB. What does that stand for? Where's my damn nutmeg who's he asking oh tim smart move having biscuits nearby yeah look at i was trying to think of what

snack would go well with this because i would eat dinner and it's like the most boring food on earth it's like these digestive like tea on earth. It's like these digestive, like, tea cookies, kind of. Petite burr biscuit. Little butter biscuit. Yeah. You're my little butter biscuit. Hey, I'm back. Oh.

Yeah. Those biscuits look like so old-timey, like what the kids ate in, like, Peter Pan and stuff. They have no taste, and then they also don't fill you up. They don't do anything. They look like Wallace and Gromit when he when Wallace takes a cracker out it's like thick because it's made of

clay. Wallace would love this. I love those fucking Wallace and Gromit. My first sip was all nutmeg. I'm going in for sip two to see what lies below. Yeah, I'm definitely getting butter. I'm going in for sip two to see what lies below. Okay. Yeah, I'm definitely getting butter.

All our chit-chatting warmed this, you know, cooled this down to a nice... It's warm, but not hot. You take a full gulp, which I am going to do right now. I mean, it's all there right in the name, huh? Hot buttered rum. Mine is very rum forward, right? Did you guys, maybe if you added more sugar or water, it would be otherwise, but it's rummy in the tummy.

I kind of wish I'd made one with like the brown sugar and the vanilla extract and the all spice and the cloves. All the stuff, huh? and the allspice and the cloves. All the stuff, huh? This is one... This tastes to me like... It reminds me not only in color, but just in taste,

like miso soup, which I do enjoy, but it's got a pretty light flavor. In taste? No, not in taste, but it would be like the miso soup version of a hot drink. It is soupy.

Look at it. It's got the little speckled dots all over it, like you see in, like, a chicken noodle soup. Yeah. You know, it's just got sort of like an oily thing, an oily grease to it. Oh, yeah. You know, yeah, when soup gets, like, the schmaltz on top. So how do you feel about this butter? I don't mind it.

I mean, it's weird to have a layer of fat on top, but it's not adding much to taste but i i kind of like the thickness yeah it does give it a little pretty good body body by jake yeah i would probably crank up the sugar or use some spices to give this um to kind of like counteract just the rum because this is very rummy. I didn't put a lot of water. But if I were walking on a tundra getting chased by wolves. And a catamount.

Shooting at a mountain cat. Hey, catamount mountain cat. There you go. Hey, there you go. That's the etymology. I'm from the Catskill Mountains. This was like an old time, you know, if you're a colonial person and you're out there chopping wood in the wintertime and you go inside, Sue Beth, can you please pour me some of that good fortifying butter rum?

Yes. It is time for me to take my death. Take your death? What the fuck? No, man. Just take your slumber. You gotta live. We've gotta live.

Live, damn it. You've got so many things to contribute. Yeah, I agree, though. This is like something like the Bob Odenkirk character in Little Women sends Saoirse Ronan to the kitchen to get him a cup of this. Yeah. A cup. A cup of something. This is what people drank before they had better stuff

came along, you know? You mean before they had Ciroc? They didn't have Fireball back when this came out. Ooh, but we got it now, don't we? Fireball. Hey! Fireball. Hot buttered Fireball. Yeah, that would got it now, don't we? Fireball. Hey, fireball. Hot buttered fireball.

Yeah, that would be good. I'm going to do that on round two. That almost seems like fucking crazy, man. Almost. Almost. It almost seems that way. Almost. Oh, God, remember the fireball eggnog we did last year? Yeah, baby.

Who could forget? You guys got the name brand fireball eggnog, and I just did fireball and Eggnog we did last year? Yeah, baby. Who could forget? You guys got the name brand Fireball Eggnog, and I just did Fireball and Eggnog. That was good. That was good. They were all pretty good. I implore you to try that this year. Yeah.

I went to the store, and I saw they had that pack of 10 nips of Fireball. I think you got that before, right, Mike? I took a picture of it and showed you in the bucket maybe no i think i think maybe neil in hawaii got like a like a multi-pack i found that and i was like yeah throw it in the cart in my in my uh local grocery store they don't carry wine and they don't carry liquor, but they have beer. And then up by the checkouts was like an impulse fireball station. And I was close, my friend. That's a very funny impulse buy. You're like, oh yeah, I want to party my nards off.

Oh yeah, I guess I do want to be the coolest fucking guy at this party. After our nog discussion last year, I settled into my favorite boozy nog, which was, you don't even have to mix anything up, but there's a store bought, there's a bottle you can buy called Pennsylvania Dutch eggnog. Have you ever had that?

No. And it's already mixed up. It's got brandy and eggnog in it and it's heavy. And you got to serve it on the rocks and let the rocks get a little melty, but's very good oh you're it's heavy as far as like the literally the weight and the cream of it heavy cream this uh with the with the nutmeg in here and the butter it kind of given me uh egg nog vibes yeah it's sort of serving eggnog vibes. Yeah, but there's no egg or nog. Interesting. Oh, speaking of rum and eggnog, which we're not talking about,

I found myself in the freezer aisle the other day. I said, you know what, Mike? Get yourself some ice cream. You haven't had ice cream in a while. You get a tub of it. You eat that stuff at home at your leisure. It's not a pressure situation. So I reach in, and I think I'm getting a chocolate chip.

And I pull it out, and it's not chocolate chip. It's rum raisin. Have you ever had rum raisin? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I said to myself, Mike, buy the rum raisin. Just buy it. Bring it home.

You eat it. You have some of it. At your leisure. Not a big deal. At my leisure. It doesn't always pressure me. So I get home. A couple days pass.

I go, oh, I've got ice cream. Oh, it's rum raisin. We'll see how this is. I scoop a whole bunch of it into a bowl. Yeah. I eat that shit It tastes great It tastes a little bit Like eggnog

Which I don't really like But this was good This guy's all over the place This was good And I could be in my home And eat it at my leisure This story has a lot of like I don't like that but but I think I might.

And then you try it and you don't think you like it, but then you maybe do. But bottom line, you like it and you find the little raisins in it. Were the raisins soft or were they hard in there? They're soft. That's nice. It's like the cherries in a Cherry Garcia. Exactly. How do they do them?

Exactly. How do they keep them so soft? They water the grape plants with antifreeze. Exactly. How do they do them? Exactly. How do they keep them so soft? They water the grape plants with antifreeze. Stop. I have a ice cream recommendation for you. Do you know the brand? Much like those boring cookies, biscuits that I was just eating now, there's a brand they sometimes give it on planes.

It's called like Biscoff. Those biscuits have disappeared. Those ones you didn didn't like they're nowhere to be found in your oh yeah i hoovered them much like president hoover oh sorry the biscoff yes biscoffs you know you're on a plane they hand you those to you and they're and you think they're going to be boring but those are actually good. They kind of got a graham ginger thing going on. Well, that brand has come out with ice cream pints flavored of those cookies and different versions of it, and it's

fucking great. Damn, that sounds great. You gotta get it. You gotta eat it. Now, you find this in your local grocer's freezer, or where do you find this? Yeah, do you know my local grocer, Albertson? Uh-huh. I find it in his freezer. So you're going to go back

and to the left. JFK, Kevin Costner. Thank you. And you're not doing that at Albertson's. You're finding the aisle with all the cases. So you're going back and to the left, to the left. Beyonce Knowles. Beyonce Knowles and JFK back to the left beyonce knolls beyonce knows and jfk back to the left

jz jfk okay there's something there there's something there is something there with a lot of conspiracy theories around his death and now around beyonce's husband hubby do you think that could be like, you know, driver put up the partition, please. You know, and then JFK in Dealey Plaza was in the back of a limo. You don't want that magic bullet. There's something there. There's got to be something there.

All right, internet, do your thing. And drunk in love. I mean, Ted Kennedy was drunk all the time yeah and he was in love yeah with the law whore and i don't know wasn't didn't he kill a prostitute you know this is not what we need to talk about no no no just real quick she was a nice innocent michael you edit that out where's your holiday don't turn this on jeff you edit that out don't put this on me jeff you edit that out i don't want to cheer? Don't turn this on, Jeff. You edit that out. Yeah, don't put this on me. Jeff, you edit that out. I don't want to hear the word whore or be talking about prostitutes, okay?

Just bleep it. All right. Yeah, yeah. It's the holiday season. Why are we using this type of language? We're not here to talk about Chappaquiddick. No. Bleep that.

We're here to talk about Jolly Saint Nick. If you don't stop that, I'm going to bleep you in a second. Jolly Saint Nick. That's don't stop that, I'm going to bleep you in a second. Jolly Saint Nick. That's right. How are you feeling? I'm maybe liking this more as we go. I'm getting a flush. I'm getting a hot flash because it's the rum, but it's also hot.

Yeah, it's hot. And I feel like I need to wash my face. Like, you know, after you have lobster and you're like, well, I've been dealing with all this butter. I have butter all over my lips. I smell like butter. How did it already secrete out of our pores this fast? I'm not. That was a big rummy

I'm loving this. Have you ever had a drink called the Tom and Jerry? That's also like a hot Christmas drink. Tim, I just looked it up. Oh, what is it? It's like a hot nog? It's very similar to the last fucking thing we did. There's like star anise in it.

Hot toddy. I think it's like a hot toddy with like some... Hot toddy? I don't know if it's hot toddy, okay? Are you currently bleeping me? Is that why you can't hear me? It was a hot toddy. No, I can hear you.

I can hear you. I remember I looked it up because I was like, did that name come before the cartoon? Right. And what's the verdict? It's all based on a book slash play with like a really long name, but the two main characters are Tom and Jerry. Did you know that Simon and Garfunkel, like they were originally Tom and Jerry for a second? Yeah. That's weird.

That's why when it's like, tom gets your plane right on time it's because paul was in new york or he was paul was at a gig and garfunkel was acting in the movie catch 22 and he missed his plane or something like that all right here's the drink uh i'm sorry it was it's a variant of eggnog with brandy and rum wow sounds. Sounds good. So not a hot toddy, but a sort of a nog. See, that's another one that in addition to hot butter to rum batter, Trader Vic also sells a jar of Tom and Jerry like mix. And I think I may even have a jar if I ruin it around. The ingredients on Wikipedia say one cup milk, half of an egg yolk, half of an egg white.

It's like, well, just say half an egg. Half an egg. How do you get half that? That's got to be tough. Hey, man, that's on you. You can figure that out. You hard boil it, and then you cut it in half, and then you add that.

Two and a half teaspoon confectioner's sugar, five teaspoon brandy, pinch ground nutmeg. So we're in the same wheelhouse. I like brandy. Brandy sounds good. Pinch ground nutmeg. Hey, I was just thinking that this is a good caroling drink. You guys ever go caroling? Was that a part of your life?

No, it was not. Once in my life, I had carolers come to the front door. We should go caroling. to the front door. We should go caroling. Just the three of us and knock on people's doors. Yeah, blow the fucking doors off these places. I like to party! We came here to rock! Christmas rock.

That's actually pretty cool. Wait, Jeff, did you say you haven't gone caroling either? No, I think it's awkward. That's something that would make me be like, ooh, i don't want to do that i never like singing in church i have never had carols come to my door and i've never gone caroling but if you eat at the tamo shanter around the holidays that people in victorian garb come around and sing to you and it's very fun and then you can request a song you could request Mariah Carey

and they'll sing it for you but I kind of spend the whole song wondering how much I got to tip you know I'm like smiling real big sweat dripping down my forehead trying to keep on the show that I'm enjoying it but I'm looking through the wallet I've been in that situation before

what you do you say to yourself, alright, I know what I'm going to tip them. You set a 50 cent piece aside and then you enjoy the rest of the song. Here's what I've been doing. They want to dress like Victorian era people? They're going to get paid like Victorian era people.

You get a sixpence. Don't point that iPad at me with a square app. None the richer. At the beginning of the song, I give them a half shilling. And then I say, if your performance is up to snuff, then the other half you shall receive. When they're singing, I don't know what I have in my wallet. And if six people sing me a song, I'm thinking I'm going to give them $10 or something. But then it's humiliating if you look in there and just only a one. What are six people going to do

with a one? I've given away more $20 bills to unhoused people that way who are looking for money. They say, do you have anything? I say, hold on, let me see what I got. And I only have 20s. You take out your big wad, you lick your thumb and you count through the wad.

What do we got in here let's see oh yes here's a 50 cent piece right in the middle for you I'm unloading fucking greenbacks baby cool very cool you find me out out in the city ask me for money because I'm carrying

cash you can find me in the club bottle full of for money because I'm carrying cash. You can find me in the club bottle full of... That's right. Cup full of rum. Cup full of rum. Should we... Oh, let me tell you

about the little stuff I made here. The batter. The batter. Let me find the recipe I used. You don't mean batter like, hey, batter up, right?

You don't mean batter like, hey, batter, batter, swing, batter. So, we mean batter. No so we better no no no nothing nothing like that oh okay glad we cleared that up uh oh you know that thing you know when you open a website sometimes on your phone i've noticed a lot with uh recipe websites you open it up and your screen just starts bouncing all over the place because all the ads are loading pop-ups and all that. Fucking hate that shit.

All right, here we go. So this is, you're going to need, you know what? I'm not even going to go through all the measurements and stuff because you can find these online. There's like a whole bunch of different ones. They're all different all the time. But give us a gist of the ingredients. Yeah, yeah. You're going to use dark brown sugar.

Nice. A full stick of butter. A cup of honey. Ground cinnamon. Ground nutmeg. Ground cloves. pinch of salt, rum, boiling water, and then sticks of cinnamon for garnish, which I did not use. And this makes a big batch for like four people? Yeah, this is a big one. Use an electric mixer. Take the brown sugar, the butter, the honey, the cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and salt.

Mix that all into a bowl. That's like a cake. Until it's smooth. Ugh. Yeah, it's just like you're mixing up the batter there. It's that slime I was talking about. And then add the rum to two cups of boiling water, and then stir in the butter mixture until it dissolves.

Like, you know, use a teaspoon or something, or however much you want. But the idea is you can also, like I made a bunch of it. I'm not going to drink four. This makes four drinks. I'm not going to drink four hot butter rums tonight. What I am going to do, what I am going to do, I'm going to put it in a Tupperware, zoop, right in the fridge, freezer. Yep, there we go.

Into the freezer it goes. Mike, here's what you have not anticipated, my friend. When you take that thing out of the Tupperware, when you take that thing out of the fridge, that butter's going to be weird and gross and solidified up top. You just know it. No, no, no, no, because I mixed it well. No, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It's not a liquid. It's a mush. The batter. Oh, you're just talking about the mush. It's like a dough. You're just talking about the batter. Oh, you're just talking about the mush. It's like a dough. You're just talking about the mush. Oh, yeah.

I'm not. You don't. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't freeze the whole punch bowl. I was going to say, that's for your other carolers, your other wasselers. Right. Those other servings. Okay.

So when you say wassel, there's a drink called wassel. I'd been calling it wassail, but what are wasselers? Are carolers? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Here we go. A wasseling. Here we go. A wasselail. I'd been calling it wassail, but are wassalers carolers? Oh, yeah. Here we go, a wassailing. Here we go, a wassailing. That makes sense. Here we come, a wassailing. Now, Mike, what I liked about... I also found

one of those big cakey drinks, big cakey recipes, so I have those goods, too. So round two, I'm going to go ham with a little brown sugar and allsp spice and all that shit. But I like that, Tim, you found a nice single serving recipe. So I'm going to use that as the backbone. Yeah.

Because, wait, and that single serving recipe that I found, are you talking about Jerry Thomas's? Yeah, yeah. The one we just did. Like, that was nice because it was like, that's how you make one of these and not like four. Listen to this. In the Jerry Thomas guide from the 1800s, further up the page, he said, hot spiced rum. And it's our same recipe that we just did. But he adds a teaspoon of spices, allspice and cloves, not ground.

So whole cloves and allsp all spice is funny i i kind of think of that as like it's like the taste of like jamaican jerk chicken but if you use it in this context it's a little more cinnamony uh roasty toasty for those of you listening who are you know uh driving their car they're doing chores around the house, not paying attention. He did not say Old Spice. Please. Stop it. I thought All Spice was a combination of spices, and it's its own thing.

It's a plant. Okay, so for round two, Jeff, you're going to get a little spicy with some spices. Mike, you're going to use a batter that you made and you found that recipe on liquor.com and now here's my question to you if i wanted to be interesting for the pod should i use store i have a jar of trader vicks store-bought batter hot buttered rum batter or do i make a hot buttered fireball? A fireball. Yeah.

I'm going to do the Jerry Thomas recipe we did in round one, but I'm swapping out my rum for fireball. That sounds pretty good. Woo-woo! All right, folks. We'll see you in a moment. Peace. Peace.

Peace. Peace. And we're back with hot buttered tweaks. That could be a good hot buttered tweaks. Spinoff podcast for us. The tweak of the week. I did. I'll just rattle it off real fast.

We don't want to get bogged down with this shit. I did brown sugar instead of the powdered. Smart. Little dashes of all those clove, allspice, and nutmeg. Put in a little vanilla extract. Salted butter. Went for the Lando Lakes this time. Okay.

I'm getting some more chunks on top than I thought. I don't know what that is. Chunks. Sip it up, my boy. I mean, it's a little better with that vanilla extract, but, well, I'll save my thoughts. You guys, now you guys go. Michael, you had

the batter, the Liquor.com batter. Yeah, here we go. Michael, you had the batter, the Liquor.com batter. Yeah, here we go. This smells delicious. Oh, yeah. That's something else. You know, if you're not living that batter lifestyle, you're just not living. I got to tell you, I wish the water wasn't in it. You know what I mean?

The water makes it too watery. Yeah. Well, you could just do a little splash or, hey, just eat dough. Eat dough. I did eat some of the dough. I ate some of the dough. That sounds like a kiss off. Like, hey, eat dough.

Eat dough. Hey, you want to slice butter around here? Go eat dough. Remember there was a song in Blue Hawaii about eat dough, and he was eating too much, and they're like, eat dough eats like teeth are out of style. He eats like his teeth are out of style because he eats so much his teeth are getting worn down.

I guess he doesn't use his teeth. That is a strange A to C going on there. It's almost like it's a bad song. Hey, speaking of eating dough, I did see this jar of Trader Vic's hot buttered rum mix. Oh, yeah. I took a teaspoon straight to the dome and ate that. It was delicious. It tasted like cookie batter.

But now I'm having a sip of my hot buttered fireball. Oh, way better than that. Hot buttered fireball. Oh! Way better than that round one of Jerry Thomas because, you know, fireball is, like, sweetened. So it's just, it's sweeter and it brought cinnamon to the party. But you did add butter, right?

Mm-hmm. And this frothy, filmy butter on top does kind of work really well with the Fireball. This is good. The cinnamon, the batter has a bunch of cinnamon. It's the, it is the brown sugar that makes it. Hey, brown sugar, how come you taste so good? You know, they're not doing that song anymore on tour.

Yeah. They forgot the chords. I wonder why. Oh, stop it. Let's get into final thoughts, huh? Mm-hmm. Appointment only. This is the definition of appointment only.

I don't want to have this unless we're all having it. It's a Wassily appointment, and it's in the appointment book. I wish I loved the butter, but it's not like the... I want to like the weird thing. Do you know how badly I want to like the bullshot and all that stuff? I do like the bullshot. But butter has no place in a beverage. You say butter, give it to a nutter.

Y'all take a beer, please. Yes. Hot buttered beer. I like that. Hot buttered beer. I like that. Butter beer? Hey, I'm going to Universal tomorrow. Maybe I'll try some of that butter beer. Have you guys had that?

No, I haven't. Try that. I'll try it. Do yourself a favor. Are you going to the Harry Potter land? Yes. Get the front of the line pass. Waiting in line for those rides is not worth it at all.

Got it. And take some recordings. You know, make it a booze news feature. Me? Yeah. A little cameraman. Wow. Actually, they have one ride where you go inside,

and it's like in the castle. That was very fun. I'm still reeling from it. Okay, what I'll say about the Jerry Thomas guide, if that's appointment only, I am not RSVPing. Does that make sense to you? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But you tell me you're going to make some hot rum butter. I'm right there. Butter or batter? Butter batter, beer boy. Wait. They should call it hot battered rum instead of hot buttered rum. Ah. Ha ha.

Hmm. Ha ha ha. Ha. To each his own. Yes, yes. Tim, in this holiday season, you have ceased to surprise me. To all the batterers out there, mix on. To the carolers peddling their vocal

wares um for a shilling a 10 piece pence my final thoughts i agree round one original jerry thomas appointment only not really a drink that you're gonna want to be drinking but it's a drink you don't want near your mouth i will say that yeah keep it as far

from lip as your house shall allow it's a nice decoration but i'm really not kidding hot buttered fireball is fucking delicious and here's one other difference this time after i had everything in there all the hot water and the butter and everything i put a bar spoon in there and I, I spun it around a little bit. So this time, like when the butter,

when the butter came to the top, it had taken up some, it has some of the fireball juice in it, you know? So the butter, it's not just butter on top of a drink. It's fire. It's a vehicle for fireball.

Yeah. It's fire butter. A question for you guys have you ever have you ever had or heard of butter in coffee yes oh it's like bullet bulletproof or something people call it oh i don't know but i know that that's like that's a thing is that people will put a little pat of butter in their coffee instead of cream um people do that when they're trying to get fat and die. Butter in the coffee? People are dipping French fries in mayonnaise? I do that.

I love that. Yeah, you're right, Tim. Bulletproof coffee. Yeah. Hmm. Butter. Oh, God. Too much.

Too much allspice. Too much spice. You know what was also nice when I was making this hot buttered fireball? The nip bottle was the perfect size. So I just dumped the whole thing. That's nice and easy. That is nice. Yep.

I will say this. Go to a diner, steal one of those little to-go pads of butter, and then have a little nip of fireball on you at all times. All you need is a cup of hot water and you have a fun drink. You should have fireball on you at all times. All you need is a cup of hot water and you have a fun drink. You should be, uh, you should have fireball on you at all times. Anyway, I'll usually,

you know, those camelback things, uh, mountain bikers use. Oh yeah. I'll go out for the day. I'll strap one of those on my back and just fill the whole thing with fireball.

Yeah. Um, and I'm good to go. I'm good to go. You know, leave me alone. You don't have to worry about me all day. I'm good to go.

Cause that's usually my issue with you is I'm like, is he going to be okay? Usually I have to bring a Disney movie or something to pop on the TV. I am entertaining myself that day. The other day I went to, I've got a little nephew who's only two. And we went to benihana and you would think if you're a kid benihana would be the most fun thing to look at in the world yeah he was playing he was looking at his he was watching a cartoon on his ipad of course and then the the chef did the fight like he was flipping shrimp tails around he was making egg rolls he was doing the onion volcano and this little dude didn't care

he was just watching this cartoon we i guess i guess you know is he a covid baby no um two years old he he was born before covid but he's lived the majority of his life in covid he yeah he doesn't understand that as in the real world we like this We like to see the shrimps fly around. We like it when he takes the fried rice and spells out, I love you. So you clap for him. We like this kind of thing. We like the onion volcano. That's right.

That's right. We love the taste of the food. After the onion volcano, he just discarded those onions. I thought they would make their way into the dinner Into the fried rice Nope, garbage Well they put so much oil on them To make it spew

They really drench it What do I care, I'm drinking butter in my rum You gotta skip one of those meals Hey I'm seeing on this bulletproof coffee It's a popular keto drink Because It's free of carbs, although high in calories and high in fat. Right, because in keto, you're not only going to no carb, you're like trying to eat fat, right? It's like the more fat you eat.

I don't know. You eat fat? The more fat you eat, the more toe you keet. Keet toe. Oh, can you guys remind me that I want to do a famous sketch character on TV and it keep. Keto. Oh, can you guys remind me that I want to do a famous sketch character on TV and it's Judge Keto? Yeah, I can remind you about that.

Yeah, I'll set an alarm. Set an alarm. Oh shit, I got to jump on live TV and do Judge Keto. Great. I'm heading down to KTLA right now. Folks, it is the beginning. They gave me a four minute slot in primetime to KTLA right now. Folks, it is the beginning. They gave me a four-minute slot in primetime KTLA. That would be so cool if you guys turned on KTLA and I had a show,

and it was just like, yeah, it's local, but it's LA. That's a big market. Hey, folks, we got four minutes of junk chiquito for you. We're not really sure what to do with the other 26 minutes of that time slot. So our sponsors fell out, and well, this guy's got something. He's going to do Judge Keto. But you know, Judge Edo is a local legend, so we wanted to pay homage to him. Sure, sure.

Homage. What I was about to say is, yes, it is the start of the holiday season. Yes, yes, yes. Go out there the holiday season. Yes, yes, yes. Go out there and spread cheer. Yes, be on your best behavior. Santa's watching. And have yourself this drink. This is great.

The one I'm talking about. The battered one. Okay. Yeah, and the fireball one. And then, Jeff, you like your spiced one, right? Nah, I don't even care about it. Oh, no. What if you put a big lump of brown sugar?

I feel like brown sugar is probably what made Mike's good. Tim, you're looking at it. I got brown sugar in there. Yeah, but did you put a lot, Jeff? I put a normal teaspoon. You got to put three chestnuts worth. Okay, yeah. Not enough chestnuts worth of...

And one acorn's worth as well. Yeah, a little of this topping off. You guys ever have a roasted chestnut? Yeah. In New York City. I never have. Where do they have them? On the streets?

Yeah, well, you know me. When I'm in New York, I'm walking, talking out there with the people. Oh, wow. Walking, talking. I like that. Look at this guy. No, like literally in front of Radio City Music Hall, they sell roasted chestnuts, and they're kind of like

weird. They're kind of squirmy, wormy. They're not good. They smell good. The cashews are good. Hot cashews are good. Tim, that whole time we were talking about chestnuts and what a half chestnut is, I was thinking walnuts.

Oh, shit. That's why you didn't like your drink. How big is a chestnut? Chestnut kind of looks like a raptor claw. Huh? Oh, shit. I'm picturing a buckeye. That's what I'm picturing.

Well, you know when you hold one chestnut, you think it's just the one, and then you say, clever girl, and they come in from the side. Yeah, yeah, okay. I do know that. Tim, you're mentioning radio city music hall i'm glad you did i'm gonna go me and my some of my uh new york friends are gonna go to the uh the uh rockettes oh oh man michael i went to that show ironically like five years ago

and it's a test of patience oh really i mean it's fun it's it's it's it's uh like you know those shows where like there's tourists families of tourists arriving like the whole show it's like the second act and there's still people like trying to find their seats it's a complete mess um but they there's songs they just crap these songs out it's like shopping in new york on the holidays and then it's like okay let's go let's go to the next song and it's like uh walking down broadway on the holidays and you're shopping too might stop the shop while you're on broadway okay you bought tickets for the show didn't you um but i mean i did have fun and they uh i got a double jack daniels on the rocks see i think that's the way to do it yeah it wasn't all bad hot battered rums and head in there.

Get yourself a camelback of hot butters. It's just yowling your back. Burn my back. Jesus, I'm spilling hot batter everywhere. They got that rink there, right? Yeah, they got there. Why don't they ever put

those Rockettes on the ice? Oh, Jeffy, I think you'd end up with a lot of twisted ankles. Yeah, but it would kind of up the ante, you know, for the modern audience. Yeah, that's true. Let's start kicking those feet up with blades on the feet. Yeah. Blades of steel. Blades of steel.

Ching. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes Ahead of time Also be sure to check out Our Patreons Where subscribers can unlock

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During the holidays Mmm Yes You can't shop any smaller Than the Sloppy Boys Right? Yeah Yeah We ain't got no money Get your Get your during the holidays. Mmm. Yes. You can't shop any smaller than the Sloppy Boys, right? Yeah. Yeah.

We ain't got no money. Get your Moomy and Peepaw a year-long Big Money Hustlers subscription. Yeah. How about you get a nice crew neck Sloppy Boys sweatshirt for Poo Poo and Stinky? Oh, come on. Make Uncle Steve a pay pig. Why don't you get a little Sloppy Boys flask for shit streak and piss stain? Hey, we should sell those.

Why are so many of them pissing shit? It's so weird. Oh, yeah. We have awesome flasks. Mike, you were right. I know. We sold them at the Chicago show. And they're not available online. I'm sorry, folks.

We got to book a show and then we got to sell them at the show. But you make a good point about the Patreon. We should sell those to the Patrons, though. If there was only a way. Via the Patreon website? I can find a way. Patreon's good, though.

This week on The Blowout, we talked about our favorite Christmas specials. It's fun. If you This week on The Blowout, we talked about our favorite Christmas specials. It's fun. If you're just listening to this podcast and you're craving more Duddy, Haney, and Calp, you've got to get on the Tron. Patri-tron. Yeah. Patri-tron?

I know you're probably out there saying, I don't have any more money left. I've got to buy a sweater for little Timmy. I got to get the new Xbox game for little Billy Boy. Well, you know what? Do us a favor. Don't spend anything. Tell people about the show. Like and subscribe.

That's how we grow the pod. Yeah. Stand up during the church announcements on Christmas Eve and say, I'd like to spread the good word of the slop i deny this heathen my true god is the slophead patrone i can't believe i came to church with rim job and beaver analingus and hardcore intercourse. Grandma Analingus. Folks, have a great December, and we'll see you next week.

Peace out. Chestnuts roasting on a roasting fire there's a jack frost hanging there as well go down broadway and buy some gifts shop shop shopping with the rocket oh one fell on the ice she. She's broken through and sinking. She's an ice cube now. She's an ice cube, baby. She's an ice cube, baby, and she froze her tits. She's an ice cube, baby.

Ice cube, baby. She wasn't a cube. She was an ice cube. All right. That's enough of that shit. Too many battered rooms. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys