The Sloppy Boys - 61. Poinsettia Punch

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

The guys garnish the hell out of a holiday crowd-pleaser.POINSETTIA PUNCH RECIPE1 part Vodka1 part Champagne2 parts Cranberry JuiceCombine vodka and cranberry juice and chill. When ready to serve, add chilled champagne. Garnish with cranberries, rosemary and orange zest.Recipe via Jeff Dutton Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, taking a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Hanford. Hello from Fauci land. And Tim McAlpacus. What is up from Fauci land stylies yes we're coming in from Fauci

land yes me too Fauci land me too Michael you're probably wondering why I'm saying Fauci okay I got it I got COVID yeah everyone probably a bunch of people saw it online i posted about because i had to cancel the show i got it covid just like the rest of you guys you completed

that you you had to complete the trifecta didn't you yeah it was it was alarming how many people were like you did it you completed it's like i didn't want to do this yeah it's so funny just how weird you know when jeff got it uh i'm like when i got the text i was like holy shit jeff has the disease and you're already it was already very deep into the pandemic and we had our shots and everything so even then i was like wow this is late and then i got it after that and then you getting it. It's just so funny that it's like, yeah, they got us. We tried to hide. They got you. We tried to run away.

Well, those stats that were early-ish on in COVID being like, it's not if you're going to get it, it's when. I was like, I'm not going to get it. I'll put the mask on, and I'll avoid the thing. But you got it. I got it at Thanksgiving. You're sure? It's active in you right now.

You caught it from a turkey? Yeah, I got it at Thanksgiving. You're sure? It's active in you right now. You caught it from a turkey? Yeah, I got it from a turkey. He was a southern turkey, and he didn't think you wanted the government telling him what to do. But Mike, you were with other people with COVID early during quarantine. I thought you were immune. That's what I thought, too. You had so many run-ins. You were my house guest when I had COVID

and you never got it. We spent every single moment doing the same exact thing that week. A lot of breathing exercises. I had two. I had two family members have it. Or get it. They didn't have it and then I saw them.

They got it and then I tested and I had it too. But tomorrow is my last day of quarantine. That'll be fun. Big plans? No, for the quarantine, just still doing what I'm doing, sitting around. But then the next day, probably nothing to do.

I had a show to do on, so tomorrow's Tuesday, on Wednesday. And I still, I feel like a day out is like, I don't want to be in a packed room with people. Right. Also your body, even if you're not like infectious anymore, your body is still just like took a little bit of a wallop. I don't know how your experience has been, but I feel like I was still like clearing out my throat and nose i still am yeah yeah you can hear that i'm still stuffy but i think wait did you lose uh you never lost the taste or smell no but you know what's going on big time for me my fucking tooth is killing me i got toothache like crazy i don't know if it's really bad well i don't know crazy. I don't know if that's one of the listed... It was really bad. Well, I don't know. You know, they don't know.

This is such a mysterious disease. Yeah, okay. A lot of people's teeth falling out, eating too much Snicker bars. Yeah. But I want to go to the dentist, but I can't because, you know, they're always going to be like, put their face right in your mouth. Right, right. So that's what I'm dealing with here.

So I've lost some weight because I'm eating like not a lot of food or soups. Well, what are you eating? You're not having your typical fusilli with ham chopped up in it or your broccoli with dates chopped up in it? Tall glass of milk on the side, gravy all over the whole thing. Potatoes with pickles chopped up in it. Yeah, I had to avoid doing that. Also, I haven't really had a drink in a while either.

Hey, that's nice. Which is also probably good for me. We'll take care of that, won't we, T? Yeah, don't you worry about that no more. Don't you worry, we got you, baby. No, I'm saying I like it. I like it. Oh.

I hope I never have a drink again. No, no, you're going to drink with us. You got to, you got to be with your boys. Um, yeah.

So that's that. But does that seem like, that seems like I don't want to go into a, uh, uh, like small basement room. It's at, it's at union hall and be like,

this 10 day thing. It's not an exact science they're saying like yeah 10 days and if and if you if you don't have a fever on day 10 and if your symptoms have gone down then you're my doctor said i'm not contagious at that point but i don't think you want to go breathe and write up people's noses immediately right as i don't want to have a covet on the holiday season here's what's weird is you got your booster. It hadn't even really taken hold yet. You got COVID.

So now you're about to have like more antibodies than anybody on earth. Yeah, I can't believe you were freshly boosted. Well, yeah, that's what I said. And it was like the boost takes like at least a week, I think, to start. Right. And you were boosted like three, four days. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know if it was Omicron? I don't think so. They never tell you. If it was, nobody told me. Yeah. My doctor said, like, if you want to know your variant, you can, like, go to a special hospital and get a special test. And I was like, oh, fuck off. Much like they say on succession fuck off oh yeah fuck off kiddo yeah we're actually

like those kinds of guys we'll say like hey you mind if i fuck off yeah you fuck off oh it's it's it's fuck night at the fuck off factory. Yeah, fuck the fuck off. What do I care? Jeff, are you caught up on Succession? No. Are you at all interested in doing that? Are you going to spoil me?

No, no. I will spoil you as soon as you give me the green light, my man. I'll spoil you rotten down on Rodeo Drive. Diamond tennis bracelets, new Jordan pumps, whatever you want, buddy. I'm a captain man. Anytime you say the word, we're going shopping. I got a bank account ready. No, are you like, do you want to watch it?

I do want to watch it. I saw the pilot. I really liked it. Oh, you're that far back. Okay. No, no. Don't bother. I'm not watching shows.

I skip Squid Game. I'm not watching Succession. But I respect all these shows. I love them. Let me tell you something about shows, Jay. You want a good ranking of how to prioritize these shows, you come to your boy, Tim. Because I'll tell you, I love Succession. I watch it. I don't think you should watch it.

If you're not drawn to it, don't watch it. What? Oh, yeah. If you're not drawn to it. We are. This, who, against all odds, I mean, I'm a comedy snob. I like to walk around saying, there's nothing good anymore. Nothing's good.

Comedy snobbity. But can you believe the shit we have this year? but can you believe the, the, the shit we have this year that in 2020, we got ourselves a fucking, we had already got the new season of, I think you should leave. And then what do we get?

New John Wilson, new Joe para, new pen 15, all at the same time. That's what you're going to spend your holiday watching. Yeah, man, I got to watch pen 15.

I, I, it's like the second season, second or when's pen 15 third season second half it's back oh kyle's show too kyle's show's coming out oh hell yeah check it out y'all so watch all that don't watch succession if you want to see a bunch of people you know saying i'm gonna fuck you over no i'll fuck you over and do i like the show yes but come on you could you could live without that right well I love the show and you should get up on it as soon as possible.

I got a little Tim on one shoulder and a little Mike on the other shoulder. Yeah. I've got a little halo and saying, Jefferson, you are a nice boy. You mustn't need to even watch that. You mustn't dabble. Watch the fucking thing. Fuck off. I'm coughing all over you.

Well, I only watch Sopranos now. That's the show I watch. I haven't watched Sopranos in a long time. Yeah, I'll go away and come back. You know, I want to digest it. Yeah. Is anybody prescribing anything on that show? I don't know if they'll find out.

But I have to hear a show is good for 10 years, and then I'll watch it. You should check out the new normal. What was the show, Jane the Virgin? Is that any good? You could watch Rodney. You could watch Inside Schwartz. There's all kinds of stuff you could watch.

What's Inside Schwartz? it was breckenmeyer was like oh yeah kind of kind of in the days of scrubs when it was cute to have a guy have little visualizations in his life inside schwartz was like a multi-cam sitcom and he'd be on a date and then a referee would be like foul ball or something really an umpire would say foul ball. Was Jane the Virgin, was that a good show or not a good show? I don't remember. So good. But was it considered a good show?

I forget. No. It was garbage for idiots. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No offense. Idiots love garbage. I'm watching John from Cincinnati. John from Cincinnati. I'm watching that show that all the horses died in.

Glue? Luck? Luck. Glue. Yes, luck. You're disgusting. Guys, enough fucking shit chat. Thank you.

From shit chat to shit chat. Let's get into the... I'm bopping it. Oh, I just hit my ankle. Let's get to booze news. Hit it. Be bop booze news. This fucking guy is annoying. Damn, that was great.

Yeah, that was good. That's Booze News Ooze Ooze Ooze by Bobby TBD. Ooh, that's a cool name, Bobby TBD. Yeah. Is that like a DJ name, you think? Yeah, I think so. It sounded like some French touch. Yeah, but-

Who's that, a band? That's just a genre. That's like the French disco, French house. I liked it. Maybe I'll listen to more French touch. Touch, touch, French touch. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a little frange taunch and if you've got a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com

uh you know we've talked about this before but that was one where you know i i want to like be like oh this is cool or laughing at it but sometimes it just works right in with the the song there and jeff you right on the beat, you went, ooh. And I was like, will there be more oohs? He was like, oh, no, that was just Jeff. Oh, yeah. That's weird when you play it back and it's like, we're laughing and commenting on it, but then in the booze news drop, we are laughing and commenting.

So it's just muddy. That's why I cannot stress use filters, people, so they distinguish the song from our voices. Yeah, you need the steady hand of Bobby TBD to guide you through that stuff. I might start using that name around my DJing sets in New York. I don't think you could use that name because it's taken. Bobby TBD.

Well, my opinion on that is TBD. I'm going to go by Timmy BBD. Well, my opinion on that is TBD. I'm going to go by Timmy BBD. That's good. I think I'm going to just start using that. No, I'm just kidding. Bobby, it's all yours. Okay. That's pretty big of me.

Top story of booze news. You ready for this? Yeah. You ready about this? Cardi B has launched a boozy whipped cream. Whoa! That's nuts.

Cardi B? If it's up, if it's up, if it's up, whop, whop. That's not the name of it. That was just me exclaiming. It's called Whip Shots. It's vodka infused whipped cream. It comes in vanilla, caramel and mocha flavors.

It can be used as a topping or it can be taken as a shot. Ooh, that's cool. You know, they're doing, she's doing like a sexy thing with that. That's cool. I don't see it.

What? How so? What do you mean? Timothy? Yeah, you mean? Timothy! Yeah, you should go to whipshots.com I mean, it's a porno site. I can't believe this made it through my firewall.

Firewall. That's good. I can't believe we haven't said that yet. Talk about fireball for a fucking year here. Oh, yeah. This is cool. This looks real cool.

Everybody check it out. That's a cool idea because everyone loves whipped cream. They love to shoot it out the can. Plus, I'm sure people want to get the nitrous hit at the end of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah? This is a bad combo. Hey, I didn't even really think about that in there

because they're kind of saying whip shots you you finish the cream and then you got a little whip it right there hey what's it called whip shot whip shot vodka infused man they look good so 10 alcohol by volume so that is um you know 20 proof a beer is like five percent a strong strong strong beer would be 10 um so you would uh you'd get tanked if you'd suck down a bottle of this stuff but just having it frapped up on top of your hot cocoa is uh how much volume is that really you might feel it yeah i can't really tell because it's going to have a bunch of air in there. How much? Wait, sorry.

How much? What was the ABV? 10%. 10%. Ah. All right. I'll do it. Is that it for world news?

Oh, I would just, one last thing to quickly mention is I mentioned the show John Wilson. I mean, How To With John Wilson on HBO. Yeah a really good show and this season really good show stop i'm not saying well you did say it um this season there is an episode how to appreciate wine and it's i would call this it's a masterpiece of an episode. Did you, A, Slopheads should take note because it's about wine. But Michael, did you notice the opening song in that episode? Oh, let me see. I can't really think of it. What was it?

Yellow Bird. Oh, neat. I didn't, I didn't. That's your whole thing, Mike. I i you know look at me i'm leveled by covid give me a break you're more about getting up into that tree yeah and not coming uh no that's good i'll go back and watch and and say ah he was right tim was right it's an arthur lyman song mike you played it for us on the yellow bird episode of our show and then i heard the song at eva anderson's wedding oh yeah and now i try to get away from all three things in a row yeah i was so stressed out i try to watch some john wilson to

get away from it yeah what happens yellow bird that was a crazy that was a i won't spoil anything but those are some crazy things in that episode before i say any more let's close booze news that's it for booze news whoa he's back baby he is back back again i started season one but i haven't watched the wine one yet well that's season two episode two you understand oh season two i mean you started wait what what you started i started season two but not okay not i haven't seen the wine one yet i was watching that yesterday i was like what a fucking it's a great show but what a crazy thing that it's it's a tv show there's no person you're looking at like every other tv show that's popular is like you look at somebody yeah that's pretty much what tv is hey you want hey viewers want to look at this guy no

no okay no well then change the channel and this one this one's gonna talk i saw something on uh hulu they got it's called puppy christmas or something like that all it is is like a living room set up for christmas with a christmas tree and some puppies in there all around be honest is it cute if you're into that type of thing i am yeah go ahead jeff i want to talk about the drink of the day that's what i want to talk about the drink of the day that's what i want to do folks today we're talking about poinsettia punch this is one that i've made my damn self several times and you know what everyone loves it it's a crowd pleaser. Tim, you've had it. Tell them how much you like this stuff.

It charmed me because it was Thanksgiving weekend and it was on theme and it was a good drink and it was garnished to the nines. Yes, that's the main draw, to be honest. We'll get into that. Now, had you heard? No had i'd never heard the word i mean i've i've heard of punch it's something i'd like to do to you two every once in a while for your behavior yeah bullshit bullshit you fucking lock and load over here yeah right dude i'd send you straight to the planetarium i swear to god well folks what we're dealing with today is a champagne punch of sorts

in my digging uh i i searched for poinsettia punch origin poinsettia punch history nothing just uh everyone had recipes, and they said, well, it's been around as long as a cocktail's been around, so just enjoy it. But I said, I'm not some dipshit fucking recipe blog. I have a hit podcast. That doesn't satisfy my thirst for knowledge. See, even, Jeff, I'm on the same podcast.

If I met that uh blockade i would say i'm turner i go home i'd be done i'd say there is no history let's drink no mike i know you'd be relentless not for this stuff not for this stuff okay well so i did a little digging and i just looked up like champagne punch how long has that been around oh hello and what i learned is the first champagne houses were set learned is the first champagne houses were set up in the first half of the 18th century and pretty much from thenceforth there were champagne punches an english recipe from 1819 for regent's punch uh was supposedly created by prince regent and it had all sorts of wacky crap but basically people been adding things to

champagne and making these party punches for a long time the problem with a champagne punch as it's served is that it goes flat quickly because of the wide surface area of the punch bowl right ah that's what gets us into the boom of champagne cocktails it's basically the same idea, but the single serving means less place for the air to escape. A smaller sort of radius on your vessel. The earliest documented reference describes a champagne cocktail

with ice and bitters, saturated sugar in Panama in 1855. The recipe was published in 1862 by Jerry Thomas. Okay. Where have I heard that name before? Sound familiar? Yeah, what was it? Was that hot buttered rum? Fucking everything.

This guy's all over the place with his book. Tom Collins, this is the guy, man. The Tom and Jerry. Supposedly. Supposedly, but not really. Supposedly. Supposedly. Yes, the tom and jerry supposedly supposedly but not really supposedly supposedly yes supposedly on that one now certainly you're familiar with joel roberts points it yes i am after reading the wikipedia page the first u.s ambassador to mexico in 1828 that's right well you see after visiting an area south of Mexico City, he saw what later became known in the U.S. as the poinsettia in Mexico.

It's called Flor de Noche Buena or the Christmas Eve flower. So that's kind of crazy to me that like poinsettia doesn't really have anything to do with Christmas other than it's red and green. Yeah. But even then, down in Mexico, they called it the Christmas Eve flower. I think it's funny, these guys... Does it bloom around Christmas? I don't know. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I think it's kind of funny that a guy went to Mexico, saw a thing that they had there, and they already had it, and then he just named it after himself he can't do that this guy's uh he's kind of like a bit of an amerigo vespucci guy yeah well it seems like maybe he didn't name it but like he he loved the plant so much he sent a bunch home and they were like back in the u.s they were like yeah these are poinsettias

so in effect same deal so that's all there is to know about this drink and if you know more than me at home you better email the sloppy boys podcast at gmo.com yeah or start your own podcast yeah start your own damn podcast yeah because we would love to listen now hey i got a question yeah you're about to tell us how to make it and i was just wondering in my little brief poke around after you made me one i said maybe i'll make one and i looked around i was mainly seeing it as a big punch in a big punch bowl um is that does it feel like that's what you mainly do but you could make a single serving or you can make a big punch bowl and it doesn't even matter. You do you.

Yeah, this one feels like there's a lot of different approaches. Basically, the delineations are there's ones that have vodka in them and ones that have more of a Cointreau deal with them. They all sort of have champagne and cranberry and orange garnish and rosemary. Ooh. So they all kind of look the same, but I was seeing vodka versions and Cointreau versions. This one is a vodka version. And I made the first batch when you came over for Thanksgiving. That was like a batch.

But three people polished it off pretty quickly. And then I just started making them individually. And then as the night went on, would you believe I sort of made up the proportions? You know, as long as the glass has a little crayon, a little vodka, a little champagne,

eh, it's a, that's a point set of punch. I agree. Yeah. And if that glass is half full, well, my friend,

you've got the Christmas spirit. Yes. All right. So let me tell you how I do it. Oh, one part vodka. i'm listening two parts crayon two you lost me what i do here is you pre-mix them and cool them get them nice and cold you know okay whatever you mean you want to put them on ice and shake them and strain them well you can do that but don't do it before you don't do it after you add the champagne you can't shake the champagne to right well i'm just saying that i i'm gonna

make this drink right now and i have not pre-cooled anything so i'll be fine stir um, one part champagne. Now, I got my recipe originally a year or two ago from this Happy Harvest site or something like that, and it did not call for St. Germain. Now, I looked again, and suddenly they're calling for St. Germain. So I'm thinking that maybe they got themselves a little sponsorship. Yeah, a little deal.

They're throwing that name in there or something. So we brought the money. That's elderflower liqueur and are we doing that or is that just an alt I don't have that shit so I'm not doing it and then also I have that shit but I won't do it if my boys aren't doing it it would only be a

splash because in the big punch bowl version you're only putting two ounces in so if you're making one we're talking a splash oh okay so it's it's uh yeah that don't matter garnish cranberries i do three because i like the numbers the numerology of it orange zest and a rosemary sprig so i take that sprig right you put it in the palm of your hand and you give it a little oh Wake it up. Call me daddy. Give it a little spank before you throw it in that drink.

Spank before the drink. Now, what about that orange? What are you doing with that? See, I do a little expression over the rim and get those oils flying through the air. Yeah, the rosemary, I give a little spank. The orange, I put in a headlock. And the cranberries, I'm giving a fucking pile driver, dude.

Where the fuck? I fucking, I ordered some of this stuff on Instacart today. I don't remember the pulling the cranberries out of my little bag that the guy gave me. God bless it. No crayon? Like the actual cranberries?

The cranberries, yes. A cranberry sauce? I might have them. Let me just relax for a second. Here I am flying off the handle. I might have them. What am I going to do with all the extra cranberries, Jeff? I bought a big bag of cranberries just to use three?

Eat them. Eat them. Yes, eat them. So I should just become a weird guy and eat them eat them yes eat them so i should just become a weird guy and eat them tim it'll be good for your utis great i got like three or four of those right now so that'll be good yeah just stuff them in that uh little twig you got floating around that was under panties that little that little thing i call a pee hole. That little excuse for a well, anyway. Well, folks, what do you want? This guy's hung like a light switch over here.

Do you want to put this? Okay, all right. Well, you want to get started? I do. Yes, but I just had one question before we do. There was a lot of champagne talk going into this. Do you think that during this episode one of us might make a drink joke?

Oh, because his Instagram name is Champagne Poppy? Yeah. Okay. I probably won't because I didn't even think that was his name. Or that didn't come to my brain first. Yeah. I'd say it's unlikely for me, Tim. Great. So it's up for me, Tim. Great.

All right. So it's up to you, Tim. It's up to you to make this joke. You're not getting a lot of pressure on me. Folks, we'll see you in a bit. Enjoy the ads. and we're back talking poinsettia punch let's see oh yeah looking good look at that look at this look around oh my i mean the look the look is the thing that's what this really has going the reason i found it in the first place was like oh I'm going to a party or I'm having a party.

I need to have something that looks cool. And it, well, the taste we'll discuss. But the look is unparalleled. Look at all that junk in there. I didn't have the sage. Couldn't get it. Rosemary. Rosemary.

Didn't have that. That I have a ton of. And you went with a nice big orange wheel on there, huh? Yeah, I figured I never do this, and I said, I got the orange. Let me throw it on the side there. But you're supposed to put it in the drink, right? Doesn't matter. I think it's actually kind of customizable.

I love that. I love that. Well, shall we sip yes I had some questions about my construction but I want to I think we should sip first yeah let's sip and then we'll talk to all the sippers enjoy

okay okay punchy Michael I sent some ennui he sighed you are very perceptive young Tim yeah

I don't like champagne now there's champagne in this drink not much i wish the and not much i love well not the way the way i make them don't know it oh your own private mix i love cranberry juice i love it oh and i wish i was getting more of that and and it's vodka and cranberry you're like almost at your beloved cosmo and then we're throwing you for a loop with the champagne yeah i didn't do a dash of uh i

didn't do the dash of triple psych maybe i'll do that next time maybe the champagne i don't know this is bad champagne i'm sure but uh there's something it's just that champagne in the back saying oh i'm here too well i don't like it, you know? Yeah. Well, hey, save a little something for final thoughts, will you? All right. No, he might have a change of heart as the drink gets warmer. Yes, yes.

And that doesn't mean to say, yes, I could have a change of heart, and I probably will. But that doesn't mean to say, Jeff, that I don't like you, the guy who brought this drink to us, and you love it. Hey, much appreach. Much obliged. Is a friend of my friend my enemy, or the drink of my friend? The drink of my friend, yeah, pass me that drink, friend. Put my friend of me in my friend zone.

Well, I think I could use a little more bubbles in mine. I don't know if the proportions were exactly what I was rocking back when we had that party. But Tim, I want to hear from you. Mine's not bubbly at all. Yeah, mine's not bubbly at all. I'm going to eat a cranberry.

Let's see how this goes. Pow! I shit my pants. Just cranberry.coop.com. Just cranberry.coop. Now, could you, Tim, hold up one of those cranberries. Or Jeff, if you have one. Tim's camera's fuzzy.

Can you hold up a cranberry? Yeah, I'm fishing one out. Hold on. I've only got craisins. That's what I got. Alright, here you go. So it looks like a grape. It looks like a grape. And is there a pit in there? Is there a pit in there, Tim? Bread pit.

No, there's no pit. And does it taste good? No. Cranberry by itself does not taste good. It is sour! Or bitter? It is sour or bitter. It's one of those. So this has not a pit, but seeds.

Tim, did you experience that? Where once was pit is seed. There's like a bunch of dirt in it or like nuts or seeds. Yeah, there's some crunchies going on for sure. But I mean, God, look at that garnish. And I got to say, as far as getting swayed by the smell, this is the best smell for a Christmassy thing. The rosemary smells like pine needles, and it's put me in the Christmas tree zone. But then at the same time, getting a whiff of the orangey zest that I have expressed,

of the orangey zest that I have expressed. Orange and rosemary at the same time. Dude. You like that? Great. And then for the drink, I like this. I like champagne. I like crayon.

I like vodka crayon. What I need to do is figure out, I've got a temperature problem where this thing is a little too warm yeah me too and i i said to myself timmy i was gonna take my my my crayon juice was cold in the fridge but my vodka was room temperature vodka so burning hot i was about to i was about i was gonna put them in a shaker and shake them up or put them in a mixing glass and mix them up with ice to get them nice and cold. Yep. But then I realized that that would also dilute them. So I said, maybe on round one, I should do the letter of the law.

I mean, this is Jeff's recipe. Jeff's the guy who likes things to the letter of the law. I'm a cruel taskmaster. letter of the law i'm a cruel task master so in doing so like how did you guys did you go straight into the glass with like i'm you said parts so i just i decided to go two ounces of each and then i because i hadn't i hadn't pre-mixed my my first two parts i kind of didn't know what the fuck to do the only super cold thing was the the uh champagne so i'm kind of didn't know what the fuck to do. The only super cold thing was the champagne. So I'm kind of looking at a room temperature vibe here, but that's because I was making a single serving and I wasn't prepared.

I think if I were having a party, I'd make a big picture of this and everyone would be happy. Yeah. I also think I would put the, I would have the champagne already in the fridge. I did not have that. Ooh. Yeah. Also at the party, I had the vodka already in the fridge. I did not have that. Oh, yeah. Also, at the party, I had the vodka straight out the freezer.

That's nice. Here's what I would do. Big pitcher of the vodka in the crayon. That's in the freezer or the fridge. And then as you're making them, you're pouring that into people's coupe glasses, and then you're topping it off live with the champagne. Oh, that's nice. Champagne poppy poppy fuck it we'll do it live uh jeff did you use any uh triple sec or anything fancy no no sir uh that'd be good uh because you know we talked about the quantro aspect i love

quantro you know how sad i was to find out that there was a Quantro version out there? Come on. But I don't think that you just add it willy-nilly to this. I think that there's like, there's the vodka approach to this and then there's the Quantro approach. Now for round two, I'm going to sub out the vodka for gin.

Because it's something I saw online and as of now, I'm out of vodka. So if I'm doing another round. Oh yeah. And, and anything you see on the internet is a good idea. Yeah. Yeah.

Everything on Wikipedia is true. Yeah. I watched some of those jackass videos on YouTube. I wouldn't try that. Let me ask you this. Punch, punch, punch bowl Punch Bowl, holiday Christmas punch like this. It's got me thinking about holiday parties. You know, I was over at Jeff's recently, and he hosted a splendid affair.

And then, you know, I talked about the new place. Yes. The new place. Oh, that's wonderful i'm thinking you are experiences with uh with holiday parties and booze i believe i told uh the story on the pod here one time that i went to the funny or die party and in hollywood and i ordered a uh what was captain jack captain jack and and the bartender said hey what was that what is that? And I said, it's Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels looking for a big laugh.

And I didn't get any laugh. And they're like, do you really want me to make that? I said, yeah. And I think we all know that the- I'm not laughing, am I? This story ends with me barfing up Pink's hot dogs all night long. Oh, yes, yes, yes. barfing up pinks hot dogs all night long. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

And then also I feel like there was a UCB party when I lived. We still the same kind of thing living with you guys, but then dating Jessica by UCB. I feel like there was a party where I said, you know, here's what I'm going to do. It's New Year's. I'm not going to drink a bunch of beers. I'm going to pour myself one big glass of tequila and just sip it all night long.

Oh, yeah, right. And if I sip, I don't want to get too drunk. So if I sip this one big glass of tequila for many hours, I'll know that this was my whole night of drinking. But that toppled down the throat, followed by a few others. Next thing you know, the guy's barfing again. He's face down on the pavement. Oof. This guy is unconscious. Get a closer look at that grouting.

Yeah, there's a weird thing where, like, when the L.A. City Council, if they need to know, like, how their sidewalks are around town, they'll ask me if I've gotten drunk recently. They'll give you a big glass of tequila. Should we do any re-grouting in Los Feliz? I'm like, nah, we're pretty good. Hold on, guys. I can't.

I got a big weekend. I can't be doing this. Oh. Yeah. This isn't bad. This isn't bad. It's getting better. I've got to admit, it's getting better.

Gotcha. Hey, whoa, save that for the blowout this past week. We did the Beatles and the blowout. Oh, that was a good one. If you're not a Patron, get on the blowout. You're missing some good stuff. I'm going to eat one of the needles of the rosemary sprig and see if it's divine. Oh, no. That's like what

a dog does. That's what animals, that's what pets do. I feel like a dog right now. You'd be good in that puppy Christmas show. That was stupid. Why do I do that? It's like a spicy leaf.

Why do I do this? Does it taste like anything? Probably tastes like it smells, huh? The delicious taste of rosemary, but like way too much of it, way too fast, and it's spicy and I feel like a dog. You just want a little hint of this on some popcorn.

Rosemary on popcorn, eh? Yeah, Trader Joe's has that. Oh. They also got those Marcon. Oh. Oh, yeah. They also got those Marconi almonds. Oh, they also have those triple ginger snaps. Snap, snap, snap. Snap, snap, snap.

Did you guys ever hear that poinsettias were poisonous? Not true, but yes. It is not true. They irritate the stomach. I looked on poinsettia Wikipedia, and the last slide of the intro is, exposure to the plant, even consumption, most often results in no effect,

though it can cause nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Yucko. So, eat away, friends. How am I supposed to say this word? I say poinsettia. I say po say this word? I say poinsettia. I say poinsetta. Should I say poinsettia? I say poinsetta.

Point setta? Well, let's see what Wikipedia says. There's no T between the N and the S. The T's come much later. Years later. No, I mean, that makes sense, too. I'm going to put it in the Google pronunciation.

How to pronounce... Spelling is terrible. We did this once on the blowout when we wanted to hear Anderson Pack. Alright, let me see if I can get this going. Here we go.

This is what Google says. Poinsettia. Oh! Tim Stiles. I'll do it slow. Poinsettia. It sounds like she's being rude there, like, about poinsettia. Poinsettia.

Poinsettia. Well, that song Percy the Puny Poinsetta I never heard that poinsettia that's a Christmas song say it again? Percy the Puny Poinsetta you've never heard of that? never heard no that sounds

like a damn fun song I'll be playing this Christmas Eve it sounds like they ran out of things to write Christmas songs about, and then they were like, poinsettia. That sounds like the Christmas donkey one, too. Isn't there a Christmas donkey? Dominic?

Dominic the donkey. Is Dominic similar to Percy, where it's this beloved Christmas symbol, but it's puny. They're kind of taking a cue from Rudolph being like, oh, Rudolph, we love Rudolph, but all the other reindeer made fun of him. You're kind of making an underdog of your subject. Yeah.

I wonder when that, I'm going to look up that point set of song. I'm going to do a song that's called Tim's Christmas Prick. Hey, it looks puny, but it's got a lot of heart. He's going to save the day, but oh boy but he's got a lot of heart he's gonna save the day but oh boy he's so small god he's small yeah when the chips are down he'll come through hold on i'm not seeing any god damn my drink's warm jeff this needs a big cube in it i'm sorry uh yeah no you're right if it were a punch, if you were ladling this out of a punch bowl, you could plop ice. You would first put ice in your glass, an old-fashioned glass, and then you ladle this in. But then the bubbles are the issue.

You can't have the bubbles out in that big bowl. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. This was what I'm seeing. It was done by Elmo and Patsy is the name of the group. And this was, what I'm seeing is done by Elmo and Patsy is the name of the group. And it's on the same album as Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. No shit.

Huh? Yeah. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. So wait, this is a joke song that I thought was real? Is it a joke song? Well, I don't want to read all the lyrics right now. I'm going to fucking play it. Give it a play.

We're talking about it, aren't we? Hey, it gets people talking. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Percy the puny poinsettia Hanging his bloom in dismay If they had just kept him wetter He'd be a houseplant today Folks like the other plants better Now he's alone on the shelf

This sucks. Even a plant with no uncle or aunt Shouldn't spend Christmas Day by himself I don't like it. Yeah, that's a real stretch. Huh. Well, I guess we got to blame Mammy and Peepaw for that one. That doesn't have the magic of Dominic. Hee-haw, hee-haw, the Italian Christmas donkey.

Donkey. Well, do we do another round and try and fix these things yeah i'm gonna do another one but what are we gonna do differently what have we learned here's what i'm gonna do more champagne more ice and gin for fun okay i'm gonna follow you down that gin path and i'm gonna do do a i'm going to add uh triple sec and less champagne tim and ice i'm gonna i'm gonna blow your mind here this thing's going on i'm serving this on the rocks like a like an aperitif spritz yeah i think that's i'm gonna do a one one big cube in my glass here. No, no. I'm going to have a big old glass. One big cube in the glass now, baby. I'm going to get a big fat wine glass or something.

Maybe a rocks glass. Who knows what I'll come back with, but it's going to be icy. Oh, you should use a German Stein. Ooh. You know what I'm going to do? Collins glass. Ooh, Collins glass. If I ever meet Tom Collins.

Sloppy boys. Collinsworth. If I ever meet Tom Collins. Sloppy boys. It's tall and the tight cylindrical spout isn't going to let all the bubbles out. Keep my bubbles in. That's what was going on with...

What drink was that? It was the a drink in Argentina. It was the Coke in Argentina. Oh, the Fernet Branca. That's right. That was often served, I guess, in highballs. Yeah. Right. That's the general rule.

Every day, bubbly stuff should have a small opening on the top of your glass. That's why champagne flutes are shaped as such. Damn. All right. I love it. Folks. I love it. We'll be right back after these messages. So the science works on this one. All right. I love it. Folks. I love it. We'll be right back after these messages.

So the science works on this one. All right. Trust the science. And we're back with round two. Let's see them because i feel like this is uh gonna be a boom for us oh yeah this is gonna be good have a look at these beautiful oh i'm spilling whoa duddy you got a nice a beautiful tall high ball there yep and i And I did the I shook with cubes and poured on fresh cubes, my favorite move. Oh, yes.

The rosemary there, that is a good look on those drinks. The smell. The smell is where it's at. Looks good. It's the smell. The smell will bring you back from hell. What is that? It's the smell. Oh, Matrix. It's Mr. Anderson. Agent. What is that? It's the smell. Oh, Matrix.

It's Mr. Anderson. Agent Anderson, is that his name? Mr. Anderson. No, he's Agent, what the hell? Agent Smith. Agent Smith. I went real Aperol Spritz style. He's got a big, fat, stemless wine glass.

I put the rocks in there this time, and then this time, splash of St. Germain. Stole a little sip on the way in. Delicious. Tim, I also, I recanted on my original thing. I put in, just in the Christmas spirit, I said,

everybody get in here, Quantro, you're getting in there too. You're getting a little splash. That's so warm-hearted of you. That's nice. I'm going to sip mine because I'm going to spill it soon. Yeah, yeah. You're getting a little splash. That's so warm-hearted of you. That's nice of you. I'm going to sip mine because I'm going to spill it soon. Yeah, yeah.

Here we go. Sip. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's much better. That's much improved. Yep. Yeah. Yes.

Oh, I forgot to do gin. I did vodka instead. Oh. Man, you could put as much fucking champagne in here as you want you want to bubble it to the top go for it who cares it's christmas who cares it's christmas anyone's this is anyone's bet oh dude yeah jay yes i just had a massive brainstorm and you can use this we're all happier with our on the rocks versions it's definitely the way to go but i just thought back to the previous version you know what would have been kind of cool

you take that bag of cranberries and you keep it all day in the freezer yeah they were frozen so then when you're putting your garnish in you're saying oh yeah hey hey babe i swear it's just a garnish and then you throw them in there it's actually cooling down the drink and she's like oh honey this drink is so cold you're like yeah i know tim babes love it when you put something unexpected in their drink wait a minute don't get into that shit oh man i see i even put a little too much i wanted the bubbles but i did put a little too much for the champagne oh folks this is really important you don't need to splurge on the

champagne for this one you can use any old shit champagne because you got the king of all maskers cran cran yeah i i i got uh i used corbell and let me tell you, it was so hard for a sabre-er like me, who studies the art of sabrage, it was so hard to open this bottle like a fucking dork, okay? Because you know, you know, I wanted to put my thumb in the pith. Punt, punt, punt. Punt! Surely got the cage off there right away. I wanted to take the cage off, not to mention the foil wrap. That was not a fun one, just foil.

I wanted to slide my saber right along the seam. The seam, yeah. I had the same idea and I almost did it. Here's the thing, I almost did it. Here's the thing. I almost did it. That's what's crazy. Like for me, I didn't dream of it, but you, you were going to do it.

I almost did it. Hey, folks, if you want to hear us savor champagne bottles, subscribe to our Patreon. Fucking $5 a month, we're savoring champagne bottles. We sabered the champagne, then we savored the champagne. Oh, yeah. Tim, I hate to tell you, we gave that one away. Fuck! Unlocked in the main feed?

Unlocked in the main. Wow, that's cool. Well, hopefully it just gives them a taste of what's to come. Yeah. Maybe they'll get a sense of our sensibility. If you listen to every episode of The Main and you want to get a sense of our sensibility, check out the Patreon. You're 61 hours in and you still don't really get our vibe. What is...

I need another hour a week to really get their sense of it. What makes these guys tick? It's funny because it's obvious that what makes us tick in the Patreon is the drinks we have during this show. It makes us tick-tock. Okay, let's get into final thoughts. Is this a Dutton Del or a duddy dud this is a duddy delightful if you do it your own way and i think what's so nice about this is duddy is a laid-back

guy he's a very uh you know to each a pizone guy and do whatever you want. Well, I don't know about all that. Now, that is the Pizza Hut brand calzone. That's right. That's right. Well, I should say this, too. You can tell my sinuses are all stuffed up. That is also plaguing my taste. I can taste the stuff. It's just not coming through perfectly.

I like this. Round two, I like better because it had a little more of the Quantro orangey taste. And you could put a little more of your own personality into it. Yes. Yes, yes. Which you appreciate. Is it customizable? Yeah. T-Man.

Well, yeah. Round two is very good because it's on the rocks, folks. Pretend you're making yourself an Aperol spritz, but it's Christmassy i did the little splash of saint germain uh elderflower liqueur and that helped that's it's sweet but it's got a little bitterness to it that so that made this more complex and i guess like it's funny because i like this round two more but it made it more of a cocktail and not a punch anymore you know like i'm trying to think what's the way to do this that's easy at a party because last week we did the tom and jerry and we were saying it's great to have that big bowl and

everyone's walking around their mugs and it's a conversation starter i would love to crack the case on how to do this round two two stylies. I would love. I haven't cracked up in a long time. Tim, you're right that like doing the vodka and the crayon and getting it cold and putting in the icy cranberries and having that be the thing. Then when people do it to taste, it's the champagne. That's the thing that they're adding to like, oh, I don't like that much champagne or whatever. Yeah, because I felt cool even just mixing up around two. I mean, I always feel cool.

I'm a cool guy. But walking back from my kitchen. You don't always look cool. I'll say that. What? What is this talk? Looks can be deceiving. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Very cool. That's cool. Things are often not as they appear. Also, Tim picked up his pen to say that. I don't know why he did that. 10-15, now on who?

I'm so sorry. Here's my question. So, I'm doing a family Christmas coming up, and I'm going to make some cocktails. My mom said, do like a Christmassy cocktail this time. I said, okay. And so maybe I'll do this.

But yeah, so maybe I'll set out like a bowl of the fucking cold stuff. Yeah. And then have next to it the champagne and say, put this as much as you want in after you've filled up your cup. Here's what you do, Michael. And then put this rosemary on the side to put that on the top? Yeah. But here's the thing is that the champagne also has to be cold. Put the champagne in one of those champagne buckets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then maybe let the punch be warm because you don't want ice melting in there. Well, they'll probably put ice from the ice bucket as well. Right. You put ice in your glass. Then you scoop warm cran vodka into it. And then you tap it. That has a bunch of oranges in it.

Ice cranberry, great. Or maybe you can zest your own orange but that works too but that would look nice to have the rosemary and stuff piled on top of the

floating in the bowl you know oh you think the rosemary in the bowl in addition to the cups it's nice you know your mom wants something nice

you're a nice boy just have rosemary every which way I just pull it off I'll probably just end up pulling it off the the crisp off Your mom wants something nice. You're a nice boy. Just have rosemary every which way. I'll probably just end up pulling it off the Christmas tree. Off the goddamn Christmas tree. And then also, hey, if you really hate champagne, it wouldn't hurt to have a little club soda nearby. Just do it with the champagne.

That's true. And then you top it all off with a little bit of Whip Shot Whipped Cream Cardi B. Oh, yeah. Hey, everyone. campaign that's true and then you top it all off with a little bit of whip shot whipped cream cardi oh yeah hey everyone this is cardi b's famous thing you remember cardi b dad remember i showed you the video you passed out yeah dad uh park that mac truck michael what do you do what did you put in this drink? Your father's trying to stir his poinsettia punch with a Christmas tree. Your father won't stop twerking. Hey, I put the work into it, queen.

Well, if you... If it's worth it, let me work it. Would you two please? that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time also be sure to check out our patreon where subscribers can unlock the sloppy boys blow out our weekly bonus episode that's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Thanks for listening folks. And ho, ho, ho.

Happy Halloween. Oh, edit that out. And I will, I don't want to say right now. Fair, fair enough. Yeah. He doesn't have to.

We respect that. Right. I don't want to say, well, coy boy, I am dying of curiosity, though. Maybe next week we'll find out what you say. Next week I might say it.

Okay. Goodbye, folks. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys