The Sloppy Boys - 64. O'Doul's

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

The guys try the non-alcoholic 90's classic, "what beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer!" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Patrick Hanford. Currently engaging my core. And Timothy Jordan Kalpakis. What is up dry January stylies? It's true. It's true. Hold on.

I'm fixing something on my audio. You talk. You keep talking. Okay. So Mike is engaging his core. Jeff, I'm going to ask Mike if engaging his core is his New Year's resolution. All right. I'm back live, baby, here from the cat ranch.

I'm doing all my podcasting this year from Mark Maron's cat ranch. The old garage. That place was listed on Zillow. I think it has sold. There's probably a new podcaster there. To me. It's me, Mike. Tim, aren't you listening to your friend, Mike?

He's telling you all about it. I'm telling you what I've been doing. Honestly, I'll be totally honest, I thought he was kind of doing a bit. Oh, no, no. Oh, that's my new New Year's resolution. No bits. No shits. No bits.

This episode is a welcome break, if you ask me. From your busy lifestyle? No, no. After all the festivities, my core is feeling pretty disengaged from all the booze. Yeah, we had some festivities didn't we? Wow. Oh yeah.

We sure did. I mean, me and Mike were supposed to go see fish at Madison Square Garden. It was cancelled because of some sort of viruses? Postponed. Postponed, postponed my boy it's in feb well tim april i was supposed to go too i just didn't want to so supposed to you were a huge mistake i mean your friends believed that you were supposed to yeah yeah yeah you should are you gonna come in april though yes okay that's good what why Why is that different? Why, yes.

He just didn't want to make too many stops on his holiday tour. Tim, Tim, Tim, timing is everything, baby. Yeah, but now, I mean, I don't know. To me, the appeal was New Year's Eve, fish, New Year's Eve, New York. That's an iconic thing to go. Now, I'm supposed to fly to New York just to see a band I don't like? Now, wait a minute. You said you like this band. You like to watch them.

That's true. Does that count as like a band of you? You like to go to their concerts and you come home having had a good time. That seems... You're right. The New Year's Eve thing was going to be great because i've been there before new year's eve they got confetti and balloons oh my gosh it's it's funny tim that

you've come to shows the bands you don't like i took you to dead mouse i loved that show that was fun very fun but you know it was weird that was at usc right um i forget. He really created a world. You know, he's at the top of a big cube and the lights are cool and he's wearing the helmet. And then like three quarters of the way through his set he took off the helmet and was like, hey everybody I'm drinking a Corona up here. And I was like

oh my god, he's a total Dutton dork. He's a man after all. A mortal man. I thought he was mouse. he was he like uh working for corona you think no uh uh he probably didn't say he was drinking corona but he did hold up a corona like what up what up everybody having fun and and it ruined the illusion for me because i wasn't doing i didn't do any drugs but i was just the the vibe of the drugs around me had kind of lifted me up on the astral plane and then i came crashing down when i saw his face i remember when we walked in they

gave everybody like a wristband that had like a watch sized light on it do you remember that yeah yeah yeah yeah and it had like a little dead mouse head on it so that like during the show like certain songs like everybody's watches would be like all blue or like flashing in certain colors or whatever i remember when they handed them out tim you were like oh yeah this is what i'm here for yeah that's i like i want all the accoutrement and uh yeah i mean all the shows that i go to if i buy tickets i mean i'll go to like uh i like a lot of uh indie music but then most of the concerts actually go to our like old boomer bands that are playing the bowl or something. You know, it's like, I'm going to like Jackson Brown or Paul Simon or whoever. So if I,

if I'm going to step out of my comfort zone, I really want it to be a thing with an aesthetic and a vibe of its own. I've noticed like any, any concert, like I would go to anything as long as, you know, I would go to like a weekend concert because I know this show is going to be cool. Or like a, I don't know, Taylor Swift. Like the stage is like cool or Beyonce or something. Right.

Yeah, I've seen Beyonce a bunch and it's always so cool. Even before I really liked her music and now I like her music. But it's like, it's always such a thing. Each tour has like a whole thing to it, you know? Yeah. You know what's a fun thing to it, you know? Yeah. You know what's a fun thing that I've been lucky enough to do, at least pre-COVID, was like start a podcast with my boys. No, no.

Like, you know, you normally, when you go to a concert, you buy tickets way in advance and you're like, oh, I'm pumped to see Beyonce or whoever it is. But when you get a last minute concert, when your friend's just like, hey, you want to go see Ariel Pink? And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about Ariel Pink, but I have to have plans tonight.

I'll go. But I like his politics, yeah. I went with Van Artsdalen to the Wiltern to see Ariel Pink. And it's just funny to be like, you treat it like a bar. You like walk into a place. Right, right, right.

You can leave at any time. Your night is not hanging on this whatsoever. Yeah, that's funny. And we watched the show and I didn't like it. But I do like, yeah, just treating the performance as like, oh, that's just like the entertainment in the back of this bar where I'm hanging over an hour. Jeff, now you've been to, you just mentioned you just mentioned dead mouse have you ever been to like

what like a edm festival or something because i i went on a little youtube rabbit hole the other day of like edm concert mostly like europe stuff where it's like a huge like uh tomorrowland isn't that the big one or something yeah and it was like just this this pounding beat and people clearly on drugs with weird sunglasses and not even ravers, just big muscly guys in girls' bikinis. Have you been to one of those types of things? No. It's a little after my time, but I would like to.

I would feel like a middle-aged man there, but yeah, I'd go. Oh, I didn't know if that was something that... Do those exist in the US? Yes. Here's what you do. If you go to a thing like that, let's say you're going to a music event where you feel like a middle-aged man, you embrace it and you go, you know, shave the head, put on the suit and the sunglasses, it's like pitbull,bull you know and be like ah yeah i'm not i'm not a kid i'm i'm like a uh suit guy at this show you'd be like everybody in the house not

everybody in the house tonight yeah exactly that's cool speaking of speaking of suit guy tim why you tell jeff what you saw me in on uh kelly green three-piece suit out on the town. It's beautiful. What a nice suit. No one else dressed up. I thought we were all going to start dressing up. I wore a button-down. You did. You look good. And you were coming for a fish concert. You weren't coming for a Korean barbecue and karaoke night.

Yeah, I wasn't quite prepared. I was dressed as a total wook. Wook? The wook look. The wook look. Mike, the suit is great. It's a big swing, and you're right, it does, it gets eyeballs. Like, I feel like our server commented,

the restaurant commented, and all night people were like, hey, how's it going? People like the suit. Oh, after we all separated that night, I wandered into a bar by myself on my way home. And I shouldn't have been going to a bar. It was time for me to go home, go to bed. And I'm sitting there talking to this lady

who just keeps telling me I got to take a picture of myself and make it an NTF. I saw this picture. This is a good picture. NFT, NFTft nft it's just like but but she wouldn't she's like tell me all about crypto and stuff and i was like yeah i don't know what that means she's like right now no one else is wearing a suit like this with those sneakers and i was like yeah okay but what make that an nft what are you talking about yeah uh you i don't think that just just suit sneaker combinations are quite enough to uh that's what i was trying to explain to her so we had a drink and i left um so then

and then you so how are you i introduced this episode saying it's dry january stylies but we haven't talked you guys aren't i'm not doing dry january are you guys doing dry january no no no no tim i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna be bone dry but i'm gonna be uh yeah a little cutting back a little moist i'll be moist just a little damp moist yeah yeah damp that's how i feel i i'm like clammy i feel like with food or something it helps me to be like oh i'm i'm gonna be real healthy and just eat salads and not eat anything good. And I'm all or nothing. But with drinking, I feel like it's unhealthy for me to do a dry January because then February 1st is sort of part of that.

Oh, no, I'm with you. I'm with you, Tim. Sopping wet February. But I, okay, so we're not a dry January podcast, but we're saying for this episode, we were getting interested in saying, hey, New Year's just happened. Everyone's waking up a little grogged, a little flogged.

And- Ruggy, fuggy. Oh, speaking of New Year's, this was a good little thing I got right here. Let me read you this email to you guys that we got. Howdy, gents. Howdy is like what a cowboy would say, but then gents is more like a fancy British guy would say probably.

So already I'm like, what is this person's deal? I love this. I was listening to an old episode from last January, and you three discussed your New Year's resolutions for 2021. I remember this, I think. Do you guys remember what we all said? Because he's got it right here. I remember you were going to become a boat captain and you did it.

Tim wanted to learn to sail. Jeff wanted to learn music theory on the piano. And Mike wanted to read more, starting with a clockwork orange. Well, 2021 is an old lady on her way out to make way for baby 2022. It's time to ask, how did you do? Thanks for the laughs, Matt. I got certified. I'm a certified sailor.

How'd you guys do? I have read more, and I think it wasn't Clockwork Orange, and if I said that, I was saying the wrong book. It was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I read it. I loved it. Loved it, absolutely.

I've probably finished. I like that it's all movie books of the movies you already like. Well, now, wait a minute. That's true. But I've probably read. Ken Kesey. I read maybe five books this year.

Full books. That's good. That's real good. Yeah, damn good. Novels. Novels. Novels. And as for me, Matt, no, I didn't learn shit. Thanks for asking. Ouch.

So you didn't learn the theory. You have been playing some keyboards and stuff, but you just haven't learned the theory behind it. You're letting the fingers do the walking. Hey, check it out. Still got the mouse pad. That's what it was. You started last year by you kicked off the episode by holding up that mouse pad like it was a big fucking deal.

Mouse pad's going strong. It's also not as stained and tainted as much as I thought it would be at this point. It's a little yellowed. Well. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. You know, I think that's how, I heard Brahms learned music theory that way. Yeah?

With his mouse pad. What is my resolution this year going to be? Hmm. Hmm. Eh, I won't drink another drop of alcohol for the whole year. Oh, casual, just kind of. Why not?

You're not doing dry in January, you're doing dry year dry 2022 i think maybe i this is not a resolution because i don't really want to get on myself about it but you know i did the sailing and really what i learned was you can't i'm not gonna be a sailor there's too many ropes there's too much work uh i'm gonna be a yacht guy a yacht you drive around it's got a motor and you just steer if i took you guys sailing i would have to be yelling at you the whole time to like hoist hoist the sails oh so the difference i think i would enjoy that you need some discipline in life yeah especially on a boat i conflate the two you're saying sailing is more about like actually using the sail to catch wind dude i conflated the two when I signed up and spent a lot of money to go to sailing school.

I ended up reading a bunch of textbooks about wind angles. And I was like, I wanted to fucking get drunk in Marina Del Rey. I didn't want to learn about wind angles. It's all wind angles. Well, now you're a sailor, man. I have a feeling that is going to come in handy one day. Yeah, maybe. My yacht breaks down and is going to come in handy one day. Yeah, maybe. My yacht breaks down and I have to pull out the jib.

Hey, see, there you go. The jib. That's cool. The main sail, the jib? Yeah. Rutter. Well, do you guys want to get into a little bit-bit-bit-bit? Yeah. Hit it! It's booze news, you son of a bitch. It's time for's booze news you son of a bitch

Booze dude Booze dude Booze dude Booze dude Booze dude Yeah What fish song is this Mike? Uh, Meat Stick Meat Stick What fish song is this, Mike?

Meatstick. Meatstick. Nice. Groovy. Okay, now we're just going to sit in this for a minute. It's getting a lot of Trey. It's Booze News, you fishy fucks. That was sent to us by Trey Anastasio.

Wow, wow. Nice. Fish Booze News by Will Harder. If you have a Booze News theme, send it to the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com. That's very nice. Thank you, Will. Lamenting that we didn't get to go to fish. We were supposed to go to fish.

April, maybe we'll do it. We'll do it. We'll get it done. We're going to do it. And Jeff, if you're listening to that and you're like, oh, great. Now we got to sit through this. I don't think you're gonna like the show no no well yeah well hey i've seen fish it was a great time i know i know i know more than once i could you could barely sit through a booze news team based on well you know when people send in booze news themes i want to see the artistry i want to see the take and when they just play 30 seconds of a song right i'm like

where's the angle baby you want the whole jam and you want the peak so you're saying this is a booze news fail no it's fine will ouch booze news grail um okay it's top of the year so we got a lot of booze news to cover i mean one one fucking thing lays potato chip vodka you've heard i've heard we've heard we've heard on the pod not had no on the pod we've heard of arby's this is what's beseeching to me oh we talked about our arby's crinkle cut fry vodka and arby's curly fry vodka cut to a month later and then lay's potato chip is on the bandwagon with potato chip vodka for sale online do you think that there are uh they must have had this in production already right did the armies scoop them on the goof potato vodka i mean or is it just like so easy just

take a flavor and infuse it in a alcohol i guess so i don't know i don't know but are you guys uh are you guys gonna rush out and buy this uh i've already have a case being sent here by drizzly.com a new sponsor no i'm kidding they're not a sponsor of ours well is this another one where you can't even get it because they just want it to be a meme i went i clicked the link i went to the place to uh the website where you order it and they said they were sold out so yeah it's uh this is pissing me off i want a prominent fast food or snack company to step up with a goof drink but then make a lot of it and sit there with your stupid stock you know have your inventory all backed up and then face the music.

You're dumb. What is it? What does Lays need? We all know Lays. We all love Lays. You can't have one. You can't just have one. I'm that way with shots.

Would you like to have one? That should be it. Lays, would you like to have one at least? Would you like to have one of these? Want a chip? Want a chip? Lays, want a chip? You got to buy the whole bag bag you can't just buy one of

them the point is they don't need this type of thing we know what lays is right i would like to buy one single lays chip that one one lay for a penny did we talk about how many pringles are in a can was that on the pod yes okay never mind Wait, did we? I think we brought up the pot. It's a hundred. A hundred Pringles in a can. A hundred Pringles in a can. In the tall can? In the tall can.

Tall can Sam. How do they bring all that Pring? How far away do you think we are from Taco Bell vodka? Like that's, they kind of mix and match stuff all the time, right? Right. And they are already, you know, they're putting tequila in the Baja Blast at the cantinas. Oh. I think that's a good prediction, Mike.

They're going to probably do something. Thank you. Didn't Lay's have a competition a couple years ago that was like, come up with the craziest flavor and we'll make it? Didn't they have chicken and waffles at some point? Yeah. So they kind of do some flavor. So you'd think they would have vodka-flavored chips. Now they're doing chip-flavored vodka.

Oh. You know, Oreo is always doing a mystery flavor, too. I feel like there was a while, every every year they would have a question mark Oreo thing and it would be like, send in what you think it is. And one time it was like churro. But they're always kind of doing the weird thing. And then wasn't there,

I swear there was like a Mountain Dew question, question mark flavor. Wasn't it a Mountain Dew, a taco that tasted like Mountain Dew? Yeah. Didn't they do a crossover thing? Yeah, so Doritos did a question mark flavor taco that tasted like Mountain Dew? Yeah. Didn't they do a crossover thing? Yeah, so Doritos did a question mark flavor, and it was like Mountain Dew or something.

It's Mountain Dew. I don't know. Weird. Weird flavors. I don't know what they're doing over there. They're here to stay, weird flavors. They don't know what they're doing. We just have to learn to live with it.

Hey, speaking of weird flavors, here's this, the fucking, in seltzer news, you know, the latest batch of Bud Light seltzers, we intended last, you know, this Christmas, we thought we would get around to their new ugly sweater pack. We never saw it anywhere, so we never did it. They've already moved on to Bud Light seltzerour, which has kind of been out for a while. Have you seen that? It's like a sour one. And then it's weird because there's already a little trend of sour. There's now like Warhead.

Remember those sour candies? There's a whole trend now in sour seltzers. So wait, Warhead is a seltzer? Warhead is separate from the Bud Light one. Yes, Warhead has come out with a sour seltzer? Warhead is separate from the Bud Light one yes Warhead has come out with a sour seltzer whose like company do they like is it Warhead brand

or is it like Labatt's brand not Labatt's but you know what I mean Molson brand Warhead wait is the Warhead to have alcohol in it because there used to be a child's candy let me take a look. Well, you're making a good point, though. That would be weird if they were.

Candy is for kids and alcohol is for adults. So never the twain shall meet. Yes, it's got it. It's 5% AVB. Oh, my God. So they're hoping that millennials grew up on Warheads and now are old enough to drink alcohol. Blue raspberry. Man, we are really seeing the walls come down as far as brands go like them protecting their like family-friendly

images yeah yeah well doesn't it it feels like the same thinking that goes behind like oh we're gonna whatever movie uh a hit movie that's like based on a board game just because that's a property that people know right it's just something that you've heard of and it's weird you know sometimes with movies there's that weird thing where like oh you're bringing back this like 80s thing that's not even for the kids like like it's more like the parents are going to introduce their kids to trolls trolls exactly that's a weird uh but but like because this has alcohol in it the warhead thing is like no you had it when uh when you were a baby and now you're 21 and you're having yeah and you're having well that was the summer pack too we kind of thought

was like playing on nostalgic popsicle tastes right yeah true i just don't know if i like the idea of sour i like sour candies when i was a kid i was into warheads and and what were the lemon i used to love like cry baby hot warheads oh hot warheads yeah that was a fun thing to do and i gave one to my grandfather because my grandfather was like from texas and was in the army and stuff and he loved like chili peppers yeah so i gave one to gaper and he uh and he was like he like winced and was like oh you like this you like this and i was like yeah they're great and he was like here i'll give you something hot and he gave me like a hot chili pepper and it like almost made me cry and it's just funny how like when you're an old man you don't have any taste buds left so you you but you like spicy

chili oil yeah because it's the only thing that can get a rise out of you it's weird just as a as a kid though you're not really interested in like hot peppers or chili oil you you like sugar but then also it's funny especially if you're a kid who's getting a little bit older but you're not ready for like uh you know drugs drugs or booze yet, but you are like, I got the spicy candy. Speaking of being a kid and not being not ready for drugs and booze, let's talk about

the fucking drink of the day. Well, hey, hold on. Let's wrap up. Let's wrap up. Thank you. Thank you. Wrap it up. Oh, yeah. Yay. hold on let's wrap up let's wrap it up thank you thank you wrap it up oh oh yeah um yay it's not like a uh that's not like a weed whacker yeah that's what it was it sounded like it zipped up it was a fly getting zipped all the way up pants zipped up but then a fart at the end yeah yeah weird make sure your pants are up before you rip one. Yeah. Okay.

The drink. Before you blast beef, Michael. Don't say blast beef. All right. Are you ready for the drink of the day? Yeah. I've been ready for the last 30 minutes. Oh, duels.

Non-alcoholic beer. Now, a non-alcoholic beverage is a beverage that has less than 0.5% alcohol. We're talking about a beer from Anheuser-Busch that has 0.4% alcohol. Oh, duels! Non-alcoholic beer. You've had. I have had but i can't remember it went like a long long time ago not had this will be interesting for me yeah i've had other nas but i can't remember very cool

this one um is i usually i i see na and i think uh you know not applicable right when it comes to garnishes on this show yeah right right right um i hear you but uh well o'douls what do you think because we were talking we said hey we're in a boom we get a lot of people listeners of the show say hey this is the third best comedy podcast on earth right now so i'm gonna listen but i don't drink would you like to do a show for us non-drinkers and you know we've witnessed uh the rise of the sort of like uh mocktail you got your your you know your seed lip botanicals uh non-alcoholic spirits uh neil and fran were just telling me that there's a store in silver lake called soft spirits that uh that is full-on like a non-alcoholic liquor store oh shit weird have you guys been there i could have used them today when i was looking for those fucking old duels i'm surprised there's enough product to sustain a store like that tim i know

well they have you know there's like uh this one product is called guia and that's sort of like one of these botanical and i guess seed lips the big one and then there's like uh it's a whole world going on right now and people are really laying down the cold hard cash and we said well let's let's see what uh what's kind of the old gold standard you're reaching for a drink yeah and it's gonna not let's take it back back to the shack much like Weezer when did O'Doul's come out? I'm going to say 80s. 90?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to say late 80s. It feels like a fern bar thing to me. Okay, so a fern bar we've said is kind of yuppie, kind of urban, upwardly mobile urbanite working in the city. That's right. It feels like that type of thing to me jeff what do you think what type of thing does it feel like to you to me uh well this is the

first of its kind right um no but it's the big one that that got the biggest interesting it it feels uh feels very 90s to me and um i don't i remember it being like a joke right like it it's beer without the beer um kind of what's the point especially when you're a kid and the taste isn't what you're showing up for in the first place right yeah it is a little bc yeah i feel like it was it was sort of culturally a punchline on arrival i thought it makes me think i i can i can picture the taste i'm gonna have with this thing and it it makes me think of like a Michelob, like a Michelob in a glass bottle. Oh, man, I love the old Lantern bottle of- Old-timey beer.

Yeah. Maybe a little skunked. Kind of a thick head. Yeah, yeah. A Woods beer. A Molson Triple X. But I like a non-alcoholic Woods beer where you're going out into the woods in the middle of the night, but you're drinking non-alcoholic non-alcoholic woods beer where you're going out into the woods in the middle of the night

but you're drinking non-alcoholic beers you're taking it easy tonight you don't want to get drunk well should we pop the tops on these things no I have a whole history to tell you I thought you were going to say yes

oh that's what you thought I thought that's what you were going to say no. Oh, that's what you thought. Okay. I thought that's what you were going to say. No, I'm going to dazzle you with the history, which is, so this is Anheuser-Busch, right? So we're talking about, it's like a Budweiser-ish product, and they weren't the first, but they are the big boy. Because non-alcoholic beers, it really is an 80 80s thing and then like peaks early 90s but uh there had been like near beer during prohibition and anheuser-busch even had a drink called bevo or bevo that was like because you weren't allowed to make beer but that stuff never really took off didn't you give a

venmo to bevmo forget it to say thanks for the suds great song tom collins sloppy yeah the most misunderstood first lyric on an album on the first album yeah because I thought that everyone draws you in though what are these guys talking about I thought everyone knew what BevMo was beverages and more I think it's only a west coast chain not everyone knows what Venmo is can you believe it

sorry Tim you were saying okay I was saying near beer so there had been things like near beer but really it's like the 80s is when there's like this shift in public consciousness and uh you know like drunk driving people used to drive drunk all the time right like i uh you just didn't hear that you wouldn't wear a seat belt in the 70s yeah you would just be like drunk at a bar and then you would get in your car. I remember watching some teenage movie called, in college we watched a movie called The Last American Virgin or something like that.

And there is literally a scene where like a teenage kid gets too drunk and he's like telling a girl that he loves her and he's too drunk and everyone is like, dude, you got to go home. And they help him to his car and put him in the driver's seat and he drives home. And they're like, go home, dude. You're too drunk. Wait, was The Last American Virgin also Lemon Popsicle? Or am I thinking of a different movie?

Oh, maybe. Wasn't The Last American Virgin a documentary they made about you, Jeff? Mike. Is it? No. Be honest and fair um so that had been the culture but then the 80s is when we start to the tide turns on drunk driving we get government psas you get the concept yeah tim i'm sorry in 1982 davidson

wrote and directed an american remake the last american virgin so yeah spiritual sequel to lemon popsicle but is that the same director yes and writer writer director all right go ahead sorry the 80s we got the concept of the designated driver that wasn't really a thing they spread around interesting buddy um the concept very much embraced by the the president of hyrum walker that the um who makes like de kuyper schnapps and stuff like that oh no yeah they're de kuypers he does the creme de menthe competitor yeah um and then uh like you got your friends don't let friends drive drunk is like a big uh billboard ad campaign type thing know when to say when patrick ewing in anheuser-busch commercial saying hey know when to say when patrick ewing in anheuser-busch commercial

saying hey know when to say when also mothers against drunk driving i remember that being a big sticker yes i think that they like funded uh i think that they were like a big part of the designated driver thing um so that the cultural shift is already happening and anheuser-busch is watching this and they say okay we're gonna fucking make some fucking oh duels and then as we roll into the 90s they already had the name isn't that funny i love the name that it's they picked a name like an old irish pub type of name for a new product it's very funny they must have done that to like trick people to buy it and then they buy it and they're like, oh shit. It's not what I wanted. Oh, this sucks. Oh, duels. Oh, Doyle

rules. Oh, duels. Drools. Drools. Drools. Okay, so fucking cut to me in the 90s watching a hockey game with my dad and brother and what commercial do i see hit it tastes like a beer because it should because it's brewed like a beer of course

it's good working out or working late when you're thirsting for a break let's be perfectly clear it's what beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer oh do's the brew from anheuser-busch with the alcohol naturally removed for real beer taste and only 70 calories anytime anywhere that's when beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer oh do's all right so tough so that's specifically they say what beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer. Yeah. Interesting. This commercial, the visuals, it's very active. It's guys playing softball, guys fishing, guys windsurfing.

So it's sort of like on a hot day. Stuff you cannot do when you're having a regular beer. Yeah, not allowed. But actually, I listened to this, an episode of a podcast that was called fucking Good Beer Hunting. And they had an exec from Anheuser-Busch talking about O'Doul's. And he said when O'Doul's came out, they really heavily marketed towards golfers. It was like the point was men 35 to 50 who do drink. It's just that they're on the golf course and they're not getting drunk today

because they're focusing on that little white ball they love to put. Interesting. That little white ball they love to bludgeon. It's so funny with alcohol commercials. I think we've talked about this before where you can't actually show someone bringing it up to their lips and ingesting it.

Right. But just the wording of that whole commercial sounded so like boardroom figured out. Like, it's the beer drinker's bing. When you're not drinking beer, but say beer, don't say alcohol. It reminds me of Why Ask Why Drink Bud Dry when it was like, people don't know what Bud Dry is.

They're like, okay, Why Ask Why Drink Bud Dry? Yeah. It's like, when I get excited. But this does feel weird was like, people don't know what Bud Dry is. They're like, okay, why ask why I drink Bud Dry? Yeah. It's like, you're not going to explain it. But this does feel weird that like they're not, because, you know, I think of it more now as like sober people and like alcoholics in recovery drinking this. So it's kind of funny to think of it as like,

no, you're a beer drinker. That's who you are, but you're not drinking beer. That also makes me think like they use that wording rather than be like, for people who don't drink alcohol, admitting that like alcoholism is a problem. Right. Yeah. Because if you were like, hey, real beer fucks up your life, but you can't have no beer because your hands will get all shaky.

So the flavor naturally removed. Okay. so uh the golf thing was huge in fact like odules.com like the old website in the 90s it was basically like a golf website with golf quizzes and stuff and the whole thing was like built around these like active middle-aged men and then i saw there's a bunch of great commercials on youtube you should watch them all and uh i saw one from a few years ago where they've rebranded that's sort of like shot on iphones and it's like a cool guy is going to a bar to hang out with his friends and he's like i just don't want to go too hard tonight so he's drinking budweiser's and he's alternating with o'doul's in like a hippie can so so so they're really you're right they are not saying this is for people with addiction problems you know like they're kind of just being like it's this other

drink they could they can also hide but not hide behind but they can justify it as being like it's as good as a beer if you like beer you will like this as opposed to like the fake meat problem there's a lot of people who don't care about beyond meat and impossible burgers because they're like it just doesn't taste as good why am i wasting my time right o'douls gets to be like it's as good as a beer the taste is good yeah well and that's what i'm wondering uh i that wrapped up my little history and i and i was just saying like for me i've never tasted this stuff and i'm just wondering like how what would motivate me to have it because it's like if i'm gonna have the calories if i'm gonna have carbs like i would drink soda so it's it's is this gonna taste good enough to be like yeah that's scratching that beer

itch but i wouldn't rather just have like a ginger ale or something that tastes right right isn't it healthier though like uh i think it's 100 calories or something this the commercial just said seven 70 sorry 70 but also like the the alcohol doesn't turn into sugar or carbs in your stomach because there's no alcohol yeah so 70 that's a pretty low calorie thing uh okay wow maybe i'll drink a bunch and get so thin i'll be skeletal is that what you want yeah i'm trying to get so thin that when i turn uh sideways you guys can't see me you have to run around in the shower to get wet you can hold your breath and slip under a door got my fucking ribs all right folks see you after the ads what about the ribs je Also, I think that didn't, you know,

we're working with ACAS and they told us, they said, yeah, you just throw the ads in there, but like have it be seamlessly part of the show. So I don't think we're supposed to say, hey folks, tune out for these ads. But hey, the damage is done. Get your thumb ready to fast forward. Get those clicky thumbs ready.

Folks, see you on the other side. Peace. And we're back with O'Doul's. O'Doul's Rules. What beer drinkers drink when they're not drinking beer. Oh, yeah. You know what commercials I can't fucking stand that are often pre-roll YouTube commercials are for Google Fi? Have you seen these commercials?

Yeah, the song isn't good. Have you seen these commercials? Yeah, the song isn't good. They try to sound as much as they can like a normal pop song, but then it's all just jargony bullshit. It's like, say goodbye to bad reception. It's really weird. Mesh wireless. It's so awful.

I've heard them a few times and I'm like, are they trying to do something that I'm not getting here? But no. Yeah, they're very clunky. Anyway, let's crack them, huh? Yeah. Crack, crack. This is not a twist off. Mine is.

Mine is. Mine is. And if it is, I better hit the gym. Okay, bottoms up. Golden non-alcoholic yeah this smells exactly like i'm imagining it to malt beverage it says are other normal beers malt beverages i thought they weren't well malt beverage isn't that what you used to say when it's like it doesn't qualify for as beer because it's like mickey's or or old 45 is malt also yeah those are yeah malt liquor but i guess the seltzers that we have all hard seltzers are malt beverages

too it's made of malt hey hey well well yeah my first sip yeah it just tastes like an empty beer but it doesn't have any bad it doesn't have any weird it just tastes right it's like a bud light that's even lighter this would be perfectly fine as a regular beer like if you swapped it out you wouldn't be able to tell right i wouldn't be able to tell no if you swapped it out and said like this was a uh a laganitas i'd be like well i don't think that's true but if you just said hey this is beer that will that has alcohol and i'd say okay but it does yeah it does have a skunky taste to it yeah i don't mine isn't skunky but it has that thing of that budweiser when you're drinking bud from a bottle it tastes a little sugary to me it's not but there's like a little sweetness to it, and I'm kind of getting that little...

I could see myself... Imagine me on the 18th green. I got an eagle on every hole. Bogey. I'm about to set the course record, and

I could see myself... the most bogeys i think if i was in the standing in the hot hot heat i i think this is kind of refreshing right oh yeah right well you know i went to the store to buy these and i saw the o O'Doul's and the O'Doul's Amber, both in six packs. Oh. I was hoping to buy one single beer. Yeah. Doesn't happen. They don't have it.

So I get a six pack of classic premium O'Doul's, and then I figure I will drink all of these, just because I have them in my fridge, and they're cold, and they're a little more exciting than water. Throw a little vodka in there. Yeah, maybe. Make a boiler maker. I wonder what you could do to like spruce up an O'Doul's. Like if you put a lemon slice in this, does it like really unlock the magic?

I saw an O'Doul's commercial from the 2000s, like Corona lime squeeze days that was like, O'Doul's and lime. Squeeze it in and drink it up. Okay. Squeeze it, drink it. Do you remember that era in beer commercial like when Zima was like,

ooh, it's so hot, you're sticking to the leather seats in the bar. You got to get a Zima so you can get off, so you can unstick your filthy skin. It's like one of those. You can't find Zimas anymore, right? I was thinking that would be a good episode, but it's gone.

It's not like... Well, we could do, I mean, Smear and Off Ice is essentially Zima, right? Yeah, and there's a malt beverage. We should do that. That's what I think of when I think of malt beverage. Yeah, that's malt beverage. I had a really tough time finding O'Doul's. I to three different places in the last place finally had and i just bought this one for three dollars but uh you were able to buy just one were they were they selling singles or did you pull it out of a six-pack i pulled it out of a six-pack i've seen people

do that before or like you'll see a six-pack with the missing ones and i'm like i want to be that one are you fucking kidding me this is new york man they got they got different rules over there they used to sell loose cigarettes but i mean that's true but lucy i forgot about i forgot about this it's a different world they used to do this in the past wait i feel very stupid because this is like that that is a Hanford-y thing to do, but I do feel like I've heard. You've heard? It's not a Hanford-y thing to do. That's a smart thing to do. You can pull a single drink out of a six pack and they got to ring you up because that's the law.

I forgot that. I feel like fucking dumb because Jeff, we also, as a special surprise for this episode, we also bought a few different non-alcoholic beers that we're going to try, and we got full fucking six-packs of them. We should have just been pulling out the loose. So you're over there, you're using the Sloppy Boys LLC card.

No. This is coming out of my paycheck for you two to have blunder after blunder. I wish I put it on the LLC. Jeff, did you put yours on the LLC? No, I've been forgetting to use my LLC card. Neither did I. We've got to get Jordana on the

case. I got another six pack of something else, and it was a six pack because it was in cans that were in a... You couldn't just lift them out? You can't pull a can off of a plastic can holder? No, it was in like cans that were in a um like you couldn't just lift them out you can't pull a can off of a plastic can holder uh no it was it was in like a cardboard uh case type of thing you can't open up so that's the rule with the cardboard case and pull out one yeah seems like anything goes for hanford that was that was a grocery store though

oh so where'd you get the loose beer? The loose one was like a corner store, like deli type thing. Yeah, Lawless. Bodega. It is a little Lawless, this one. Lucy Lawless. He's like, okay, that'll be $3. And I started to take money.

I was like, no, no, I pay you. I was like, whoa. What the fuck is going on over there? Yo, Duels, in this place, we pay you the money. When he said, that'll be $3, he meant prepare yourself to receive $3 from me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pay you. So wait, what was your bonus beer, Mike? Oh, Heineken 0.0.

Hey, I got those too. Great. So that's a hot new one, right? So the difference is O'Doul's is less than 0.5%. Heineken, the more modern thing is 0.0.

Actually 0. I'm not going to finish this O'Doul's yet because I do want to kind of do a taste test side by side. I feel like Heineken 0. to uh kind of do a taste test side by side i feel like i'm heineken 0.0 didn't they do a whole campaign on on uh late night with seth myers like like i feel like awkwardly he would have to like hold up a bottle and be like coming up after the break yeah like dick cavett yeah my parents have been drinking uh non-alcoholic beers lately

and i one time went to the store to get them up uh 12 no i think a 24 pack of uh of heineken 0.0 and i got it for them and i brought it back and they like uh called me a couple days later and they were like oh that uh that beer you got us there was only three of those uh non-alcoholics in there all of them were regular beers it was it was like a little promotional thing on the side of the box that i just like zeroed in on and were your parents up like dancing on the roof yeah well they called me to tell me i was a son of a bitch um you think you're so cool what i got a couple of bonus beers too i got uh bud zero which is eineken 0.0's competition uh which is funny becauses but it's the zero thing and then i saw a lagunitas non-alcoholic ipa that's kind of weird trying to be like a hoppy tasty ipa now i've had their hoppy refresher which is a seltzer that tastes like pine needles and it's delicious but i've never had a non-alcoholic IPA. Man, imagine me never having had an NA beer,

and today I'm going to have four. That's fucking nuts. Well, it's funny, too, because, like, you know, when you drink a lot of beer, you just get kind of, like, foamy and sudsy. It's like, still, you're drinking four drinks in a row. You're drinking, you know, brewed yeast. Oh, man, you know what's really funny? See, now I wonder, is the yeast in there?

It must be because, I mean, a beer like this is what? It simply must be. Rice malt? I did look on my, my bottle says it's 68 calories. So they've gone down. Not bad. Since they introduced it. But Miller 64 is only 64 calories and that has alcohol in it.

Oh, my God. Tim, look at the back label. Uh-huh. Golf. Golf. Official brew of the PGA Tour. Golf. It's golf. And we ain't talking about

Tyler the Creator's store. No. Right. We're not doing that today oh man when i was uh watching youtube videos of o'douls uh when i was watching those commercials and stuff i saw this very funny news story about a guy in some small town an old guy was driving and he had an o'douls in his couple he was drinking an o'Doul's while he was driving. And he got pulled over by a cop and he got a DUI.

I don't know. I think the law is on his side. I think you are allowed to drink. If it's under 0.5%, you should be allowed to have an O'Doul's. But anyway, this story took a funny turn because he didn't the guy was really mad and the judge gave him small town judge gave him 15 days to appeal and the guy uh he didn't appeal on time but he was still mad and uh so now so now as of the telling of the story, his way of retaliating, like the law is the law. You can't do an appeal.

He had already paid his fine and got a DUI or whatever. But he wanted to do something. So he's running in a local election. He's running to become the judge. He's trying to boot that other guy out of office. And they're saying, I thought you had to be a lawyer to be a judge and you don't. Just anyone could win the election in a small town and become the judge.

What? Interesting. Wow. Very strange. Damn, I didn't. That's nuts. Should we jump on our second round? Yes. Yeah. And so wait, are we just gonna, you know, I'm gonna bring the whole fleet out. Yeah. Yeah, I'll bring out the whole fleet.

Yeah, okay. Me too. Folks, see you in a bit. And we're back. It's funny how attractive the Budweiser Zero is to me. Even though I know it's O'Doul's and by the makers of O'Doul's, the branding is smart. Let me see that can. The bottle looks cool.

It's just like a white and gray label. Oh, yeah. That is cool. And if you're Budweiser, you don't want to only put all your chips on O'Doul's. I think O'Doul's is kind of a crap brand. That's why, Mike, when you first brought it up, I was like, are you sure we should be doing O'Doul's? Do people even know what that is anymore in this age event of the NA beer boom?

It kind of feels like the dinosaur. I feel like they don't advertise it anymore, but anyone that shops for beer sees that one six- pack in the top left corner of the fridge. Gathering dust. That's his claim to fame. When I was looking for my beer, when I struck out, yeah, I was like looking at the whole glass case and then like, all right, I can't find it. So I'm like looking in each little weird corner, like under stuff behind big 12 packs. Couldn't find it.

Man. Should we crack these Heinz? Yeah, let's do that. Heinz ketchup? Wait a minute. This O'Doul's, when I was going to get my Heinz, I was thinking, hey, that O'Doul's wasn't so bad. And then I have kind of an aftertaste with the O'Doul's of like pennies.

You guys have that? Pennies? Yeah, not pennies to me, but it's definitely a the O'Douls of like pennies. You guys have that? Taste pennies? Yeah, not pennies to me, but it's definitely a thing that's sticking around. JC Pennies. My mouth is coated. I got a can. I googled tastes like pennies, and it says the metallic taste can indicate serious liver problems. So it would be funny if I just found out just now that I have cirrhosis from drinking too much beer.

But while I'm having a non-alcoholic beer, that would be ironic. Well, the smell is something. Smells kind of like bananas over here. Look that up, Tim. What's that mean? You're up in that yellow bird tree. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it're up in that yellow bird tree. Okay. Yeah, I mean, it tastes like a Heineken to me.

Yeah, that tastes more like a... I don't know if I like it better or worse than the O'Doul's yet, but it tastes like a Heineken. Yeah, right. You know who likes this is Dave Tooney. The Toon Man. Right. Hey.

What's up, Toon? I think he's listening. He's on our... Questions for Lenn on our questions for Lennon this month. Funny, funny guy. Good ep. I listen to it. It's so funny to drink these back to back because O'Doul's is such like a 90s uncle beer. And then I think of Heineken as like the posh beer of that same era.

And it's funny to go back and forth between the two because it's like a real class struggle of the 90s these are like the new hotness too like they're expensive these were the most expensive NA beers on the shelf at Albertsons they're like as much or more than a normal six pack

this does maybe it's because it's I just pulled it out of the fridge and it's colder but this is more refreshing to me than the other one yeah it doesn't have the woodsy uh it's got that taste that pilsner-y heineken-y kind of like champagne-y perfuminess to it yeah it's a little it feels clean rinsing it's a it's a european pilsner Oh yeah Yeah right hey come on Yeah yeah man But I can't tell Yes

I might like the O'Doul's better just because I don't know if I need more taste I think it was going down smooth without the taste You do you do What do you need it for For the back of your tongue The tongue to dance. Back to the O'Doul's for me.

I gotta say, I am getting turned on by all this stuff, man. I can see myself drinking these. Like, between beers at a big pool party where you're, like, drinking all day. I kind of agree because there doesn't, there's nothing weird. They're just kind of, they just taste it's a lighter than light

beer flavor. I thought that there was going to be like some funny tastes going on here. Right, right, right. Maybe they worked on the recipe a little bit and like they must have worked on the recipe a little bit and like... They must have worked on the recipe then. Yeah. I thought they kind of just jotted it down, made it up, didn't really...

Yeah, I saw one brand that was just selling the recipe, the six pack. It was like a piece of paper. I'm starting to think that these companies wanted their products to taste good um yeah it must be these beers these have been revel revelatory it'll be so weird to finish this podcast and and just be like uh mentally clear full right i know because also today we're uh recording kind of early and that's nice that i'm not gonna be drunk as a skunk excuse me um and uh i'm a i'm like a fast eater and a fast drinker like when i when i go to bars fast as in you don't eat at all because you're fasting. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Continue. Timothy. So it is nice. Like,

I forget what the word is. It's not like oral fixation, but it is something like that where it's like, I drink continuously when I drink just because like, I don't know, I'm fast at it. So it's nice to kind of like get a couple of blanks in there. Just pace things out.

If you're going to be just constantly drinking, some uh some decoys in there yeah um because we talked about that at gabriel with gabrus on this pod too that it's like a lot of times especially at like a party or like a work party or something you're just sipping because that's what's in your hand and you're talking to someone you don't like so you're just like takingips. And then he was saying he like accidentally had like 30 hard soldiers one night or so, or no, they weren't even, they weren't even hard.

It was just that he was just, uh, needed. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's something about, I read somewhere or heard somewhere that, uh,

like at, at bars, the reason they put the music up so loud is because it makes people drink more because if the music loud, you can't really hear people as well. And if you're talking in a group of people and it's quiet, you kind of interject pretty regularly. But when it's loud, you don't interject as much because you have to make sure everyone can hear you.

You can't just go, oh, yeah, that type of small stuff. So what you do when you're just kind of staying there is drink. So it helped. It makes you kind of drink more. They don't want you to use your mouth to talk, right? They want you to use your mouth to drink, drink.

Yeah. Glug, glug, not hello. Sorry. Would you, I was just going to say, isn't it the worst if you're drinking and the lights are on,

you ever have someone say like, Hey, come on over to my place for dinner. And then here's a glass of wine. And it's like the lights are on and there's no music and you're just sitting there. I can feel that first drink like intensely because you're never in that situation really. I'll have one sip of wine and be like, I got to slow down. I feel like sometimes I'll have a beer and feel drunker than I do after I have a second beer.

Does that make any sense to you? Yes. I feel that too. Yeah, because you're going from sober to one drink. That's more dramatic than one drink to two drinks. Well, it's also that your feelers are drunk so they can't feel it anymore. A sober man can feel his drunkenness more. Plus, when I

have like four or five, I'm funnier, I'm charming. I love it. I'm very generous with my cash. Yeah, you're kind of wearing that green suit, handing out the green bills. I remember on New Year's Eve, Tim, I shook your hand, wish you a happy New Year's, and I think I slipped you a $20 bill. Very kind.

Now, Mike, what you got to do is you got to wear that on St. Pat's. People think you're looking for a pot of gold. Can I say this? How would you feel if I said O'Doul's has a more round taste, Heineken is sharper? Absolutely. That feels about right. You know what it is?

It's because there's so many round letters in the word O'Douls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. O'Doul. And Heineken, you got the H, you got the K. It's so sharp. Yeah.

I like looking at these bottoms. They're jutting, the jutting corner on that E, and there's two of them. Three of them. Ouch. Guys, careful. I just cut my finger on the word Heineken. Not surprised. I love this O'Doul's label, though.

Look at that Anheuser Eagle. Yeah. No, no. O'Doul's, this looks like a art department beer. It does. It does. It looks fake for a TV show. Greek.

Yeah. Nothing wrong with Greek. Hey, you know where that comes from, right? No, what is that? No, it's all Greek to me. Yeah. So it's like when you blot out the Nike swoosh on somebody's feet for like a film or you obscure a brand. To obscure a brand means, you know,

that comes from the saying it's all Greek to me. That's right. Yeah. Well, that's right. Greek his shirt. We've got a Greek. I have a lot of trouble being a Greek actor.

Cause there'll be like, Hey Tim, we're going to Greek your shoes. I'm like, well, great. What are we going to put some fresh feta cheese on my shoes? And then they come to me with a Sharpie and cross out my Nike swoosh.

I think, I think Greek-ing shoes for you is just putting your foot in it. These shoes are Greek. Tim, didn't you audition for a show and they wanted you to be more Greek? Oh, I didn't go in. This is why I'm not a Hollywood success. I got a rushed... This is an actor's not a Hollywood success. I got a rushed.

This is an actor's dream. A call. You know, you get an audition. A lot of times it's just an email. It's like odd. Kalpakis and the name of the show. I get a call. Hey, can you do a Greek accent?

Because they need a Greek guy on Curb Your Enthusiasm. And you can go straight to call. You don't have to do a first round audition if you get in your car right now drive it go over read with larry he's there in the office and and and i mean getting you know yeah improvise with larry david because it's a non-scripted show so they would just tell you the situation and they were like so the only thing is just like yeah that you have to be able to do a Greek accent so they're like looking for Greek actors and it's a rush and I passed

Tim you should have just faked it I know here's well they don't know that's kind of the job of the actors to not have everybody you know but uh the math i did in my head was you go you do a good greek accent larry likes it you go on the show you get 900 bucks people see the show to tell you you're funny that's that that's the best case scenario the worst case scenario bombing it you know doing the bad accent shaming my

heritage and having to look in larry david's eyes while i'm doing something that if i had time to prepare but it was like literally get in your car and go and i don't yeah i'm not like i i'm i've got greek blood but i don't know how they talk but i get i get what you're saying like a an actor who their job is to audition every single day is like, yeah, sure, I'll be there tomorrow. I'll be there right now. And they're not intimidated because it's just another thing that they do every day.

Mike, you do auditions. You do a bunch. I hate getting auditions. They're like, once in a blue moon, I'll get an email being like, tomorrow, 3 p.m. Ocean Park Boulevard in Santa Monica. And I'm like, this ruins my whole day today and tomorrow. It is when I get like an audition email.

I'm like, oh, here's something I'll work on and be disappointed with. Flush down a fucking toilet. I also have that thing where i i retired from acting so i don't get the uh like a lot of you gotta come back it's like you and rick moranis okay i'm back um no so if i get one it's it's only because like a friend pulled some strings for me already so then then then i feel like bad where i have to be like oh fine i guess i'll do this because someone's being a nice nice person is being nice to me. So I may as well reap the rewards.

Want to drink a Bud Zero? Yeah, you guys have it. Hey, I'll do it. I'll try this Bud Zero. Zero is the hero. Already feels very good in my hand. Feels very familiar. Oh.

This is different. I'll tell you what. Really? Mike, you said the Heineken was sharp and the O'Doul's was round. This Budweiser is flat. Not bubbles-wise, flavor wise. So that's good.

What it does is it cuts right between the two of them. If you have a little O'Dwins in your mouth and a little Heineken. Yeah, square. So we've got a circle, a rectangle, a circle, a triangle, and a square. This tastes strongly of pennies to me. Jeff, does it taste like pennies to you? So we've got a circle, a rectangle, a circle, a triangle, and a square. This tastes strongly of pennies to me. Jeff, does it taste like pennies to you? I don't know, man.

You better get looked at. What's going on over there? Yeah. Is my skin yellow? Yeah. No. This Bud Zero says it's only 50 calories. That's amazing. Zero sugar, zero alcohol, 50 calories.

I didn't see on the heineken can how much this one was i guess why so secretive 69 says 69 is there anything funny like about that number that we should joke about no 420 is funny but 69 yes what now what was what was the fourth one you got the fourth one we got is this heineken is starting to taste uh sweet to me no i pna i told you that the odules was sweet i know but now the lagunitas heineken is starting okay yes the last beer that we have is lagunitas IPNA, non-alcoholic IPA, 0.5% Well. Let's do it. Pop the top.

Drink it down. I'm like finishing all these. I've got a very sudsy gut. Bottoms up. Smells very potent ooh shit is that your winner hoppy

wow hoppy it's kind of like the hoppy refresher it's like it's got a real twang to it that one is well here's my question to you about the bud zero and this IPNA. Is there any alcohol in it? Is it like a 0.5 or is it 0.0?

0.5. I don't know. First sip of this, I was like, yeah, that's a kind of hoppy pine needle taste. As I'm going, Jay, are you kind of like... It's a little weird, huh? I mean, it's a little weaker, but it's aromatic. It's very aromatic. I would give this...

Let's say your friend is too drunk. I would then hand them the Lagunitas and say nothing, and they might still think they were drinking a beer. Ah. Yeah. Yeah, if you can fucking find it. Yeah. Shit.

This is the best one, I think. Is that your final thoughts, Jeff? Should we get into them? I think so. I'm going to rank them. Good. Lagunitas, Heineken, Budweiser Zero, or Duels? Ah, yes.

Well, I've done something over here that I think is doing a disservice to both drinks now. I've been going back and forth, and my mouth is filled with all this kind of weird flavors. The round is sharp. The sharp is getting rounder. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, it's a good thing that you are a guy who has a podcast where you're supposed to be tasting and critiquing things. You have two tastes, and you're all scrambled. Swishing them around, gargling.

I put them all in the same cup, which is the problem. Yes, I could see that being a problem. I think I'm going to go O'Doul's over the... Well, I guess it depends on the situation. I would have a Heineken at an outdoor barbecue and the O'Doul's inside at a dark bar. What about out on the golf course where they want you?

The golf course, I am drinking Gatorade because I want to stay hydrated and focused on the pin. Yep. And the win. Timothy? I'm going to rank them just in the order. I like O'Doul's the best, and? I'm going to rank them just in the order. I like O'Doul's the best,

and then I like them going down the same order we drank them, less and less. Heineken, then Buttonweiser, then Lagunitas. But the O'Doul's just really topples down the throat in a way that I'm surprised, but I do like it, and I'm imagining that I'm going to eat dinner tonight,

and I'm going to probably wash it and I'm going to you know probably wash it all down with an O'Doul's and it'll be nice for me an O'Doul's would go good with a steak I think I could see that give me a T-bone and an O'Doul you gotta get your butt over

to Peter Luger tonight Mike I will actually no after I eat or after I record this I will. Actually, no. After I eat, or after I record this, I will be going to a dinner spot called Catfish that serves catfish. I hope your date isn't catfishing you.

Does catfish look like a sponge? We'll find out. No. Catfish has like a mustache. It's like cajun it's like a cajun cookie catfish is kind of a grumpy bottom feeder fish with a big mustache kind of like a carp day now let me ask you this are you guys interested in other non-alcoholic options because i i overall non-alcoholic beer i'm giving it a positive review and saying i like it i i this was a uh not just o'doul's all of them they were more pleasant than i thought and then i've had this

block though with like the mocktail trend that's going on i think it's cool and for the people that especially like sober people that want to have an interesting drink to sip on i think it's cool and for the people that especially like sober people that want to have an interesting drink to sip on i get it but for a guy like me i can't really see myself getting all revved up about seed lip or something like that but are there like the way that we do on our show with like a cocktail are there any mocktails people people like mocktails but they're always different everywhere you go is Is there a... I feel like the time-honored... Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple is the drink for little kids that's grenadine and Sprite?

Yeah, and you get it at a bar. You're using what is found at a bar, but it's got no alcohol in it. And a Roy Rogers, is that grenadine and Coke, maybe? I think so. Yeah, something like that. It's the Shirley Temple version. But isn't it kind of weird that Shirley Temple and Roy Rogers, those are standards.

You could walk into any place and say it and order it. But yet with this new brand of stuff, there has not yet been like, oh, I'll have a Gia and Tonic or whatever. It hasn't really like taken off i think it'll it's only a matter of time it'll happen by the end of this episode you think i don't know about that so were you proposing tim doing another episode of a mock tip i was asking you if there's one interesting enough to do i could see us doing a shirley temple episode sure i'm just saying or how about a bitters and soda episode that's interesting maybe we should we should look into this what

because i don't know anything about mocktails i uh well if we want to be buzzy i think the thing to do is be like seed lip we're doing seed lip but you're right tim there's not like a okay now what do you do with it? Seed lip and soda? Seed lip and soda is maybe the thing to do. I had it and liked it. I would imagine seed lip has like a website with like recipes and stuff. Yeah, true. I had a seed lip with lime straight and then with soda and I liked them both.

And there's different seed lips. There's like, you know, three or four different like flavor profiles. And you're saying seed lip. There's like, you know, three or four different like flavor profiles. And you're saying seed lip, L-I-P? Yeah, seed lip. Hmm. Huh. Well. And that's our show.

Let me do it. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also, be sure to check out our patreon where subscribers can unlock the sloppy boys blowout a weekly bonus episode that's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys thanks for listening folks i hope your new year is off to a tremendous start make sure you don't drink and drive and get a designated driver if you need it and pull back on the booze also if you need that too. We have a deal. No questions asked.

You're out. You're too drunk. The sloppy boys will come pick you up, and we won't shame you about it. We'll drive you home. All three of us. We'll get on a plane if we need to. Come to your hometown. And we'll be sloshed.

hometown and and we'll be sloshed hey what go bot go and watch my uh old birthday boys video drunk driving that's a funny viral that people can watch huh there you go bye folks bye peace Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys