The Sloppy Boys - 73. Rusty Nail

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

In this great episode, the guys mix scotch and a scotch-based liqueur.RUSTY NAIL RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Scotch Whisky.85oz/25ml DrambuiePour all ingredients directly into an old fashioned glass filled with ice. Stir gently. Garnish with lemon zest.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hi, Jeff. Hello, Mike. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, Rat Pack Money Baby Stylies? Oh!

Come again? See, I didn't know. Well, we'll get into that later. We'll get into that later, but it helps people to just flag. If you flag the type of stylies up top, then they know what's coming. Yeah, yeah. That way they don't have to listen to the whole episode to figure out what it's about. What stylies was this?

Yeah, they can get to their 2022 bingo card. Oh, I didn't have Rat Pack stylies on my 2022 bingo card. God, I don't even have my 2022 bingo card yet. I have one, and it was that Djokovic would not fare well

in the professional tennis circuit. He just got bumped out of first place. Ooh, bumped. But we're not here to talk about that. Wow, look at you two. Both wearing Hunter Green t-shirts. Oh, yeah. Mine's more of an olive, but thanks.

Sure. It's like you guys are in the army. Yeah. Do you guys think you would last two seconds in that army? Two seconds. yeah you guys you guys think you would last two seconds in that two seconds i mean is this during a war or is this uh just this is peace time you are done with the mess hall done with boot camp you're having mess hall and it's dessert time at the mess hall and i can't handle it dessert time at the mess hall ah Ah, this pudding hurt my teeth. Down and give me how many?

They're giving me how many demerits? Oh, oh, man. I shouldn't have taken the pin out of that grenade. Jeez. Duddy with the new do. It's a good look, and you basically pretty much look like a military guy at this point. Yeah, geez. Thanks, man. You know you look

like Guile over there with the... Oh, really? You think so? I think so. Is that Mortal Kombat? Sonic Boom. That is Street Fighter, right? Street Fighter 2. We used to have that. Wait, what is he? Sonic Boom is his thing? Sonic Boom is his thing. He also has a kick

He's a really dynamic kick Oh you'd love to see it He kind of flips upside down Turns into a triangle Who does the Hadoukens What a cute triangle Ryu and Ken Yeah

Hadouken Ryu and Ken Hadouken Great to meet you Not to be confused With a stretchy armed man Named Dalzeem Or was Dalzeem.

Or was Dalzeem a lady? I think maybe a lady? Adele Deceem was a lady. Yeah. Mike, you still got that cough, huh? I edit them out mostly, but I'm leaving that one in to make a point. I have had a cough for four months, and I don't know where it's going to go from here. I never... The permanent cough.

My COVID never really went away. Did you guys ever feel like your lungs are clear? Mine are still... No. I have a shortness of breath permanently. Yeah. I have like a brain fog, but I don't know if that's entirely COVID. That could be related to your job as a booze drinker.

My job, yes. My profession as a a booze drinker. My job, yes, my profession as a professional booze drinker. No, the... Remember that time that Mitch and I had a cough for like a year? A year-long cough. Ben Axelrod had it too, right? It was the same cough? Yeah, a year-long cough.

I guess I'm in one of those years. You guys would cough on cue at the same time for a whole year. It's the year long. Well, is that enough shit chat? Yes. We've got a lot to talk about today, right? Yeah, today's a big day. Do you want to get into a little bit, bit, bit, bit?

I'm bipping it. Hit it. I'm getting close, so let me spell it out. A, B, C, D, E, F, U, H, R. Hit it! Grim Graham and Pepper. Boogie Foot and Tombo. Nana Marsha, Grammy and Joyce. Gaga and Papa. Bobby and Grandpa.

Nanny. And Ding Dong, Flipper and Zappy. Skipper Bill. It's the news, you lovely little shit. Damn. That was great. One of my favorites ever. That was great.

That was Grandma Gale by Evan Cohen, who had a little note and said, Shout out to Hudson Valley Brewery. I designed their beer labels and tim should check them out next time he's home he's in beacon new york i'm gonna go there i'm gonna chug man that was so funny to hear a bunch of like jokey names but then like four of my actual grandparents me too like i hear you guys you guys are talking i'm like what's this nonsense and then i hear bobby and grandpa i'm like oh, now we're talking. I know them. What's this nonsense?

Why would anyone do this? What is this trash? That's got to be... Who said that in? Evan Cohen. Evan Cohen. That's got to be like he combed through all the episodes or something. I feel like that was mainly from the original terror of us showing off our grandparents' name. Okay.

Real hot turnaround with Evan. We've been talking a lot of Gale on the show. We love Gale. And if you know Gale, Gale's Gale. Gale's going to do what Gale does, and Gale doesn't just do what Gale does. And I like to think that Evan Cohen is kind of the same kind of way. He does what he does, and that's that. You done got Gale.

Well, this is, I don't know, Tim, I didn't know the theme you were going to play and I didn't know it had anything to do with Gale, but well, I got something from the top down from ACAST. They wanted me to, I brought this idea to them. They wanted me to start this thing. You know, since we're talking about Gale, Gale's all over the place.

She's got tons of songs. She's here. She's there. You can't keep track of Dale. You can't keep track of Dale either. You can't keep track of Gail. So I took it upon myself. ACAST gave me a little bit of a budget, and I went out.

And we now have a segment in Booze News here called, you know, it's the Gale Watch. It's Gale Watch 2022. So, you know, play the theme. Gale Watch 2022. Hey, guys, this is Mike up in the Gale Watch 2022 Chopter Copter. Keep an eye out for all things Gale. This week we got a couple tour dates coming through.

On March 21st, Gale is going to be at the Mercury Lounge in New York City. March 22nd, same place. Day after, Gale is going to be at the Mercury Lounge in New York City. Then on March 30th, she's jumping on over to the Irving Plaza venue in New York City. March 31st, she's doing Irving Plaza. Boom, again. And if you're not in the Big Apple, do not worry. Gail will also be doing dates in Tennessee and California.

And she's got a bunch more dates coming up in April, which we will get to as we get closer to April. That's all we have right now for Gale Watch 2022. Guys, have fun in the studio. I'm going to be up here in the Gale 2022 copter shopter, keeping an eye out for all things Gale. Gale Watch is out there. We've got a team out there. Keep an eye on it.

Gale. Gale Watch is probably the premier place to get your information on Gale. Yeah. I mean, if you need to, you can go online and find me the tour dates. the problem gail watch is probably the premier place to get your information on gail yeah i mean if you need to you can go online and find me the tour dates but you're not up to date the gail watch is up to date that is so cool um i gotta say this is crazy because i wanted to i was gonna you know bring this up a little bit later in the show but you uh you had mentioned gail uh and i might as well tell you she you know pissed me off a little bit because what happened what's him well what's do tell here's the thing she's just

you know how that song we all love a b c but it's like mike you we talked about you pointed out there's like a lot of different versions you You know, like there's one that says fuck, there's one that says F, there's one that says forget. Yes, that was Jeff. He was the scoop on that. Oh, yes. Thank you. But, I mean, when I was like preparing for today's episode, I was looking over the fucking ingredient list for the cocktail of the day. And it reminded me like,

I was like, Oh here, this like reminds me, um, I'm thinking about Gail again because of one of her, I don't know if you've heard her most recent version of that song that she just came out with. No, no.

Another one. She just dropped another version of her hit song. And to me, this is just too many versions, but, um, I don't know i'm starting to like what she's doing with dropping all of them it's crazy i just went on i was just looking at her spotify my phone the you know her top five are two abcds uh a song called uh you're

just horny and then two more abcdf fuck you oh that's gail that is gail that's cool that that horny one made it into the middle um well let's say i mean those all sound good to me i feel like maybe those were hits and now she's getting a little greedy uh with the versions but i don't know i brought an mp3 maybe we could take a listen i drank other booze but i'm over them now. Cause I found one that is nice. You should drink it too, so let me spell it out. A, B, C, D, E, Drambu. It's like scotch, it's like honey, but it's not like the other liqueurs, cause it's way better. Drambu, it's too sweet If you just drink and need If you don't add rocks You can just fuck off

Na na na na Na na na na A B C D E Tramboo Crazy Man She is in the Finger on the pulse In the moment you never know where she's gonna be

where she's gonna pop up on this podcast that's why you need the gail watch 2022 yeah i mean look eat your heart out live rod uh olivia rodrigo gail is here to stay oh god i am i am so like live rod who i'm done with her so it's like I never even heard of Livrod. I got to tell you, I think by December, the Sloppy Boys will have opened for Gale. Yeah, better. And we'll probably be closing for Livrod. She'll be down with her luck.

Okay, folks, that was Livrod. I see some of you have finally got in from the bar area and got your tickets and seats. Livrod was great. Anyway, so we're the Slappy Boys, but we're going to keep our set short so we can get Gale out here as soon as possible. I would go hard for it.

I would open hard for Gale. I would get that party moving. Yeah. We should be covering Gale. You know, if you can't beat him, join him. And she's, we ain't beating Gail. No, we ain't beating Gail. I just love that name, Gail.

Gail. Gail. I mean, it's Gail. And hey, Gail, come on the pod. Defend yourself. Yeah. Well, she does have something to defend. What's with all the tracks?

Yeah. What's the deal? We hate them. No, I like them. Oh, yeah, I like them too. I like Gail. I all the tracks? Yeah. What's the deal? We hate them. No, I like them. Oh, yeah, I like them too. I like Gail. I like the tracks. I love it all.

She's good. She's good. She's got an edge, and you need that. She's bringing rock, picking rock and roll music. Yeah? She's got an edge. Well, Livrod tried, but failed miserably. Nice try, Livrod.

Flesh and burn. Livrod's walking around, pacing around. Nice try, Livrod. Ash and burn. Livrod's walking around pacing around our mansion right now. Gale, Gale, Gale. Gale out. Gale, Livrod. Gale, you bitch. She's probably listening to the booze news segment trying to figure out Gale's next move.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the only source that has Gale's next move. I bet Rodrigo's going to send her a letter written in blood that says, no one outlives Rod. Live Rod. My well-known nickname.

I think if somebody was listening to this podcast right now and they were like, with their friends were like, okay, we'll take a shot every time they say Gale. Those people are fucked up right now. You know who else is fucked is anybody who tuned in trying to hear a cocktail podcast on somebody's recommendation. Right. And now we do have to get to another segment here in Booze News that I'm ready for.

Yeah. Go ahead. Play that, Jeff. Yeah. Okay. for us. Go ahead, play that, Jeff. Yeah, okay. It's time for Hanford's Hobbies. Okay, I was planning to stretch this segment out for a while, but I'll keep it short because we've been talking about Gail for so long. So Hanford's hobby is this, my new hobby, I started, when's this coming out?

Maybe cut this part. When does this come out? Staying in. When do these usually air? On Fridays? 11th? these usually air on Fridays? 11th? March 11th. Okay, so it's been 11 days that I, you guys know about this, that I

have been a vegetarian. I'm doing a vegetarian March month. Plant boy. Plant boy is getting planty, and I don't think, we haven't talked about it in the podcast, so I'll lay out what's going on. Great. Yeah. When I was eating at the establishment that we discussed on the

blowout this week it was i recalled your vegetarian thing and i thought somebody put him up to this and i'm gonna guess haskell and his wife no no no no i don't even know what they know about all right sorry nobody put you up to it nobody put you up no it's because well it's because i went to the doctor the other day uh to get some blood taken and uh you know my my blood pressure was the pressure guy yeah so i said you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna like start from base from the bottom just burn it down and just burn it down and start over again because i'm i'm you know the drinking doesn't help i'm sure but it's like uh it's kind of a bill clinton kind of a move right didn't he he went vegan and now he's trim and slim.

Where's Hillary? I'm not really sure, Tim, what he ended up doing. Yeah, Bill always looking for Hillary. Famously looking for Hillary. I eat her 24-7. I don't have eyes for anyone else. So, yeah, I wanted to burn it down and try over again. And also I thought it would just be a sort of a nice challenge for a month.

I didn't do a dry January. I didn't do a, I didn't do a Cupid February. So I decided. It's also, you know, Michael, it's Lent time when, when a lot of times in New York state, people are having fish fries on Friday anyway. So it's a good time. Right, right, right. Yeah, I am lean.

I was going to do just plant-based, and then I said, nah, I'm going to do some of the... Eggs, cheese, fish. Eggs, cheese. I'm getting in a little trouble with the cheese. I'm eating a lot of cheese on everything. Yeah, I bet you are. Yeah, cheese is the best. And I've given myself once a week a little bit of one meal of meat.

I do a little meat, one meal. Yeah, sure. I think that Trouble with the Cheese could be a good... How about the Sloppy Boys movie, if we ever get to make one? Trouble with the Cheese. Yeah. That's good. And the cheese being, like, a top boss.

Yeah? Yeah, it could be, like, a multi-dimensional thing thing like it's a cheese factory but also there's the boss yeah who's connected with the mafia or something yeah it's multi-dimensional it's multi-cool so uh yeah it's going all right i'm i'm eating a lot of you're right jeff eggs i'm doing like tuna sandwiches i'm doing rice stuff i got some of the beyond me i haven't had any yet but i got some of the beyond meat uh Meat meatballs and pastas with just sauce. It's great. What do you think is going to be the big item that you'll be fantasizing about for the month

and then when April 1st, what are you going to eat? Some buffalo wings on the morning of April 1st, you think? Ooh, maybe. Yeah, I should plan. I haven't thought of that. I should plan. Maybe I'll do a Keen Steakhouse. Oh, baby.

That's the way. And have a big stomachache because I haven't had meat in a year. Get a big plate of mutton. He's got nothing on this mutton. All right, Seinfeld. All right, well, I'm going to wrap up Hanford Toppies. And we already closed up the Gale Watch 2022. Gale Watch, yeah.

So now what's left is just to close up the Booze News bag. Whenever you're ready, I'm going to rush you. Nice. Well, well, well. We're done with the shit chat. We're done with the Gale Watch. We're done with Booze News. We could do a few more Gale segments, though, if we want.

I got a feeling we will be. We had a mashup already out of place, but I thought that was perfect timing, Tim. Yeah, that's natural. That's a natural fit. Now we're going to talk about the drink of the day. And this is, we've already spilled the beans, probably in the title of this episode, The Rusty Nail. Now, what can you say about The Rusty Nail?

I mean, how do you even talk about this drink, The Rusty Nail. Now, what can you say about The Rusty Nail? I mean, how do you even talk about this drink, The Rusty Nail? Well, it helps to know where it came from. That may be a good start. Oh, that's a good idea. Okay. Well, the cocktail first appeared, I'm reading this off of a website, in 1937 at a British Industries Fair held in New York and consisted of

Drambuie, Scotch Whiskey, and Bitters, unsurprisingly dubbed the B-I-F. What? The Biff. The Biff.

I'm surprised. I am too. I don't... Oh, uninspiringly dubbed. I read that wrong. Uninspiringly dubbed. Oh. The Biff.

Okay. That's weird to make a judgment on the name maybe the person was very inspired who knows yeah yeah uh the biff so yeah and then and then um a lot of times people when you're talking about this drink you'll say people will ask you fuck hold on where's my fucking notes here people People will say, did the rusty nail sort of fall out of fashion and then resurface in the 50s? Yes. Yes, that's what happened.

I was just going to ask you that, but then you told me. That's what happened. Where'd it go for that second there? I know, but then people want to know, does anyone know why? I don't. I don't.

I personally don't. Somebody might. I don't. I personally don't. Somebody might. I don't. Then just leave it at that. That's what I'm going to start talking about. People then want to probably know about the name, where to get the name. Rusty Nail kind of calls to mind certain imagery. I like that.

One story talks about the rusted nails in the wooden cases of the Drambuie that were dropped, you know, into the Hudson River, uh, and the East River in New York City during the Prohibition era. So, like, uh, they saw some rusty nails in the Drambuie boxes and they thought they'd call it a rusty nail. Other people say that, uh, people used to, the bartenders stirred the drink with a rusty nail, which sounds disgusting. The more popular, the more likely thing is that the color of the drink looks like a rusty nail. Yeah, it's probably. It seems about right.

But hey, Mike, you know what that makes me think of? Has anyone gone down into that harbor to see if any of those crates still have a bunch of booze in them? Ooh. We should chug. That would be interesting. That would be a good little expedition for us. That's another good Sloppy Boys movie. There's booze down there.

Write these. I'll write these down. Not a slop head. Don't write these down. Don't write these down. Jay-Z doesn't write his lyrics down. We're not writing our movies down. I can't believe that. Hold them in your head and then on the day we'll shoot them.

Whole feature films. We spit it from the dome. We're telling the camera where to go while we're... The next thing, you know, when you're talking about the rusty nail, rusty trusty nail. Someone might ask you, was this a drink that Frankie and Dino and the rest of the Rat Pack enjoyed? It was. It was. Frankie and Dino and the rest of the Rat Pack enjoyed.

It was. It was. Now, you probably are getting a little sick of this bit, and you want to know what's in the drink. Yes. What are we doing here? Yes. The Rusty Dale ingredients.

45 milliliters Scotch whiskey. 25 milliliters Drambuie. Method, pour all ingredients directly into an old-fashioned glass, Jeff, with ice. Stir gently. Garnish with a lemon zest. Pretty simple drink. I feel like this is, the horse's neck was also a very simple drink like this. Oh, yeah.

I like a simple drink. Me too. But this one, doesn't it make you think how, it's funny that if you got two ingredients. Yeah. One of them, Drambuie, is a scotch liqueur, right? I just read up on it and it's like this old beloved family recipe from Bonnie Prince Charlie in Scotland and they passed it down, blah, blah. It's like a honey and herb liqueur that's made from scotch.

So if your two ingredients are a scotch liqueur and then a scotch you're basically admitting that this scotch liqueur is too sweet and that they overdid it don't you think why why else would you miss mix a scotch thing with scotch i've i don't know i've never had drambuie uh i i took a little sample and uh when you think of a scotch liqueur i was thinking of something a lot nastier that thing is nice that thing is sweet really okay it doesn't taste at all like you would expect at least you know if you told me scotch liqueur i'm not picturing what this tastes like but that's so that's funny if you if you tasted it and you liked it what a weird thing to then mix it with scotch then are we going to die which i don't like the flavor away i mean well i mean it's not like i don't like it but it's not my go-to it's a it's a 40 abv also drambu we're we're saying that right

drambu we drambu we well gail said drambu. We should... Wait, hold on. We've done this before. Let me do a Google pronunciation guide here. Yeah. Drambuie. See if you can get that Kovasie guy. Yeah, Kovasie.

I feel like we also did it for Anderson Pack. Yes, we did. Drambuie sounds wrong. I know, especially being from Scotland. Okay. Drambuie. The Google lady just said Drambuie to me. Wow.

I always thought Drambuie was something you mix in a tiki drinkiki drink because probably because i thought the it sounded like bamboo bamboo so that's where i went quickly um i saw a funny thing i was looking at pictures of this drink and i was looking at liquor.com um your home page yeah um and it said it mentioned that i think this was like uh big at the 21 club in new york um which is now closed but that's like a it's a old kind of famous place that i never got to go to but then it says um it mentioned something about this book the resurgence you mentioned mike or um it said that this the drink was in the 1967 edition of the old Mr. Boston bartender's guide and uh I've got a bunch of old cocktail books that I like to peek in when we're doing an old cocktail and I said 1967 old Mr. Boston bartender's guide I think I have that I bought it

at a uh antique book barn in utica new york see this little old red book wow oh wow and then they came out when 67 you said well here's the reveal i fucking flip through no rusty nail and then i go to you know like on the back of the title page to see the edition 1966 the very year before the rusty nail was added. Fuck me, man. That sucks. This type of shit sucks. It sucks ass, man.

Well, I think it's time to do it. Do it up. I love this. Oh, you want to do it? A little quick max. Folks, we'll be right back. And when we do be right back, we'll have a rusty nail. In hand.

In hand. Sorry, guys. Oh, it's okay, Jeff. We were just talking about how my drink is now water. My cubes have gone from solid to liquid, Jeff, because it took you so damn long to mix up your rusty nails. Are we back? We back?

We're back. We're back. We're waiting on you, man. That was one of the longest drink breaks, and my cubes have gone soft. Jeff had to get a delivery guy to come in, or whatever it was. But, you know. He sure wasn't a DiGiorno guy. Come on, now.

Can we just get to our sips? Because this thing is melted. Yeah, let's just do the sips. Because you're right. Look, my cubes are melted, too. I'm not going to sit here and say they're not. I stole a sip of Drambuie, and it was delicious, by the way. I agree with you.

Ooh. Ooh. Now, Gail said it was too sweet without cubes. Yeah. That was based on her assumption. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's real good. That's very good. I got to say, usually on this show, we're drinking and it gets better as it gets meltier.

Starting with a melty drink is pretty nice, huh? Yeah.u oh that's why i wanted i meant to look up what you could if you don't have drambu because it's a little on the expensive side mike mike let me save you the trouble there's nothing like it yeah it does this drambu is like gale drambu i think this is i'll tell you what it reminded reminded me of yellow chartreuse. That's not going to do you any help because that shit's expensive. But... Jambuie. Substitute.

Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. The first thing. There are no true substitutes for Drambuie's signature taste. True substitutes. Closest options are glaiva, or if you can't find it shivas regals loca aura you know those those all said just go with the drambuie get the drambuie the drambuie um jeff did you get drambuie at albertsons or you have to go to cap and cork you know i had to go to

cap and cork and even that guy was like you want what oh really and and uh he was like i don't know man i don't think we have it and then i I found it because Cap'n Cork has everything. You want what? Did you guys? Well, first off, rusty nail. I had heard but not had. I assume that's the same with you guys. Heard, not had.

But Drambuie, heard, not had. Have you guys heard? Heard. Heard of you. Heard for sure. I've definitely heard of you for sure i've i've definitely heard of it and up until jeff dropped the bottle off at my house i realized that every my whole life when someone says drambuie i think they're talking sambuca two funny words so i thought this was going to be kind of a black licorice affair

and i'm very pleased that it's a honey affair. And that said, if you're a slophead and you didn't get your hands on some drambuie, how about just a little squirt of honey into your scotch, right guys? Just a little. Just a little. Yeah, make a double scotch and a half. Like a gold rush, yeah.

Yeah, and then... Ooh, that's a good idea. Smart. I'll tell you, the other night, remember we got that age, 10-year-age scotch for, what drink was that? Penicillin, the top of the drink. Famous grouse over on this end. Yeah.

I, a couple nights in the past couple weeks, I've been watching TV late night. I put a big ice cube in a thing, and I have an ounce of scotch. And I'll tell you what. I'm burgundy up in here. Go on. Yeah, yeah. Scotch in my belly.

Okay. I love lamp. It wasn't bad. I mean, it stinks like crazy. But I'm drinking it, and I'm like, well, I can see how people get on board with this. And be honest. Did you feel kind of cool cool like an old businessman? Yeah. I was walking around my house kind

of, hey, this is maybe midnight, one in the morning. Yeah, sort of bossing around the appliances. Yeah. Hey, alright, you know, if you treat the rest of the appliances a little better, you'll be treated a little better. Hey. Hey. Why don't you wear something a little more fun around here?

Yeah. Hey, did anybody make um did anyone order a pizza i could go for a pizza right now does this taste rat packy to you guys because um i know that we're three rat packy kind of guys but i always thought i always think of martinis when i think of them and then it was weird to me to find out that Frank, his go-to drink was Jack and water. Jack Daniels with a dribble of water in it. And his handlers would say to the bartender, don't try to get on Frankie's good side by making it strong. He doesn't want it strong. Put a finger of whiskey in a finger of water, you fucker.

I'll take you out back and curb stomp your little nuts off. I wonder if they'd say they were drinking martinis and rusty nails and stuff, and it really was just water with some whiskey in it for color. Man. I wonder if the whole thing was kind of a- Well, there was a thing about, people talk about how Dean Martin, once his reputation was to be drunk, that was like fake drunk on his talk show variety show just because that was what sorry sorry these days to podcast yes podcast but i just think i i can see the rat pack doing this i just always think whiskey

i'll forever think of whiskey as a little bit more of a Hanford's Hobbies. Well, checking back in with Hanford's Hobbies. Oh, no, it was the vegetarian. What can I tell you about? It's still the same. I haven't had meat since the booze news. Okay. In the last 20 minutes.

Oh, here's another thing, too. I'm running a half marathon in April 25th. So that's part of it, too. For Alzheimer's? I don't even fit as a fiddle. For Alzheimer's, yeah. I'm fucking fundraising for those guys. And you got a link up or not?

I got links. I got links on links, my man. You probably find it in my Instagram or Twitter. I bet it's link in bio. Me too. I should link in bio that. That's what I should do. I'll link in bio it.

Right up top. I should take down my other link. It was happy holidays, everyone. It just links to a picture of Santa Claus. Where were we? where were we going we were saying i was saying dean martin was pretend drunk oh yeah oh no i i was saying that whiskey to moi this is wrong because there's whiskey in manhattan but i always think of a whiskey as a more of a rural drink it's it's a grain i think of it midwestern and southern so i don't think of uh the rat pack

drinking it but obviously i'm very wrong but this particular scotch cocktail i mean this is very delicious and and it's just stiff enough i could see yeah i mean uh let's not forget joey bishop could be drinking this. Sure. Oh, Sammy. Sammy. Oh, Sammy. Was that the four of them? There's one that I never remember.

Joey Bishop is that for me? Yeah, yeah. And then on the periphery, Jerry Lewis. Right. Don Rickles, was he involved in that? He would razz them so bad. Yeah. They love it. He was giving them shit but

he roasts the ones you love i just got a big gulp of this drink and it was great you got like a big gulp from uh 7-eleven well you know when you go to uh get a slurpee and it's like you get the cherry one you get the coke or you just get the drambuie straight it's not even slur before but it's a drambuie drambuie i really like a two ingredient drink you know like when we did the fernandito oh jeff remember we were at harvard's and stone and i was get i saw that they had a bottle of it's not a full bar but it's a bar nonetheless they had a fernet back there they had a fernet so i said hey bart, partner, give me a Fernet and Coke. And it was great.

And I was drinking them all night long. They didn't get me too drunk because I really don't like to get drunk. It's unbecoming. Did you feel like a Brazilian college student? Yeah, absolutely. Argentinian? Yes. Or even more so, an Argentinian college student.

You should have felt a little bit like a Brazilian. I felt like a Brazilian college student who had gone down to Argentina on the weekend. Yes, that's what it was. To visit their sibling. Oh, here's an update about my Brazilian butt lift. It's going to cost a lot more than I thought it was going to. I've got to get that. I thought it was like 50, 60 bucks.

Oh, folks, get on the Patreon. We've got to pay for that butt lift. I thought it was like 50, 60 bucks. Folks, get on the Patreon. We got to pay for that butt lift. Well, and what I'm really going to link to in my bio is my Indiegogo to get these cheeks above my shoulder blades. Mike, my understanding with the BBL is that you put in fat from other parts of your body. And if you were looking for donations, you could have some of my face cheeks in your butt cheeks. Hey, that'd be something.

That'd probably be easier for the doctor, too. He's like, cheeks to cheeks. Oh, that's a deal. Cheek to cheek transfer is very easy. Those are the easiest. It's like a gut to cheek is a bad. It's very difficult, even for me, a doctor. Some people like dancing cheek to cheek.

I'm more of a mosh pit guy. Stop. You saw what happened at Woodstock 99. Preferred form of dancing. Peace, love, and rage. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is my preferred form of dancing. What form of dance? Jazz, tap, mosh? Mosh.

I did five years of jazz, three of tap, and mosh my life away. They should do one of those Save the Last Dance movies, but it's like a jazz girl and a mosh guy. And he teaches her how to mosh. And she puts it in her ballet. Have you guys ever been in a mosh pit?

Yes. I've been in a skank circle. Blink-182, 1999. Wow. Wow. No, no. I've been in several mosh pits, Michael. You know that.

Did you throw elbows and you push people around? You do a little shoulder barging, and you're not out there punching people. Right, right, right. I've shied away from it because I'm a bigger guy, and I'm afraid I'm going to kill some of those short kings. I stay away from it because I don't want anyone to hear how I would react. Don't touch me! Nobody touch me!

I hate to be touched! I came up here to meet the band and you do this to me? I have never been in a mosh pit i went to a guar concert a couple years ago it was very very fun did you get covered in fake blood one of the best concerts i've ever been to fake blood and like um slime and stuff and people everyone wears white plain white shirts and i was looking around i was like what is this and then you notice at the end everyone's got their shirts all covered in stuff it's like like, oh, that's a cool idea. That is cool.

But the bands, so GWAR is like, you know, they've got a tough aesthetic and stuff, but they're not really crazy. It's theatrical. Yeah, it's theatrical. It's very funny. But I did do a little crowd surfing there. We got down to the front and I jumped on the crowd surfing, but no moshing. The groups before us were doing some moshing

and it was pretty wild. Like I wasn't going to go down there in my 30s and get my hip broken. Bro, had you been 29 and a half, you would have been down there, man. Yeah. I think when I was 25 and a half at a concert, Tim, I thought

someone was going to beat me up the whole time. Yeah, yeah think when I was 25 and a half at a concert, Tim, I thought someone was going to beat me up the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeahs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Jeff, look in Mike's Zoom screen. Doesn't it look like there's a murderer standing in the doorway? Yeah, it does. Whoa, here? Ooh, yeah.

Mike, you might want to watch out for that guy. That's a reflect. This is a window behind me, and that's a reflection of my front door, and that's a backpack hanging up. That's a backpack? It looks like a wide-framed man looming in the doorway. It looks like he's like,

I'm going to kill you, but I'm going to wait until the blowout to do so. Yeah, then I'll get on and talk about what I think a Taco Bell. It's a backpack with a hat on the top of the rack, so it looks like the backpack is wearing two hats, actually.

A two-headed killer. Scary stuff. Scary stuff indeed. I hope that doesn't happen to me. Speaking of attire, right, you mentioned a hat. Yeah, my car's got four of them. What else? Yes. Very good.

My car has four attire. You better rotate those. No, I was just thinking about, while I was mixing up my rusty nail, I was thinking of, you know our dear friend Paul Russ, right? Yeah. Sure.

Don't stop or we'll die. Do you know, he's from Lamars, Iowa, and do you know what his dad's store was called? Hold on. It's a guess, but I'll let you say it because I might guess by the wrong. Rusty's Western Shed. It's a cowboy boot store in Iowa.

Rusty's Western Shed. That's so great. It's like the buttonedup flannel shirt type stuff. Yeah. Cowboys, right? Which is how perfect. If you're into Western wear and your last name is Rust, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Does he still run that? I don't know. He might be retired by now. Hung up the old cowboy boots. Spurs. Spurs. Kept the boots on on you guys ever use a lasso ted lasso yeah yeah no no i use it to spread kindness to my friends who haven't seen the show yet i'm talking about the kind where you you twirl the rope over your head and you and you whoop and holler and you rassle a calf. No, I've never successfully done that.

I like the yodel kid. My grandfather, Bebop, used to show me how to... And your grandma Rocksteady? Yeah, used to show me how to... We went driving through Texas. He's from New Mexico. T or C. Truth or Consequences is the name of the town.

Oh, yes. Although, named after a game show. Sounds badass. Named after a game show. There's a movie called... I went to a gift shop and I was like, hey, I'll take one of those lassos. And he was like, get over here. I'm going to show you how to use that thing. I never did quite

get the hang of it. If you don't get over here, I'm going to pull you over here. Hogtie and Rocksteady's going to come over here and paddle your ass. He's going to send you over to Shredder. Not Mom. You call your mom Shredder? We've gone too far afield. Oh, yeah.

Let me bring us back afield. Here's a list of different versions of the Rusty Nail. You want to hear them? Yeah, and then after that, remind me that I have something I want to say. Okay. I will remind you. We're getting back on field.

So the Rusty Bob substitutes bourbon whiskey for blended scotch whiskey. Okay. The Rusty Ale, this sounds good, shot of Drambuie is added to any beer served without ice. Oh. I would do that. I like that.

Wait, what's that called? That sounds good. That's a rusty ale. Ooh. Ale. Smoky ale uses Islay whiskey. Is that Islay whiskey? I don't want to say that.

Islay. Islay whiskey? Is that Islay whiskey? I don't want to say that. Islay? Islay? Yeah. Very smoky in flavor in place of the Scotch whiskey. Hmm. That's a smoky nail. Clavo Ahumado, Spanish for smoky nail, using mezcal instead of Scotch whiskey. Railroad Spike.

I don't like mezcal. Railroad Spike often served at brunch. Oh. It made approximately four parts cold brewed coffee, one part drambouille. That sounds cool. Worth checking out. This does feel like one that would work well with coffee

because it's sweet in the right ways. Here's one I like. The Donald Sutherland, which substitutes Canadian rye whiskey for blended scotch whiskey named after the actor yeah of Canadian origins

Kiefer's dad now you're probably wondering Tim when you went to see Jurassic Park at a little movie theater in Northeast Kingdom Vermont one, did you see Donald Sutherland in the lobby? Yes, I saw Donald Sutherland in the lobby. Yes, a thousand times.

That would be funny if that was the thing you wanted to bring up after I talked about the variations. Well, it was a clever segue because my thing I wanted to bring up was about a Vermont trip. But, Jeff, you were talking about Truth orsoes tsc new mexico yeah what you were just like cruising through new mexico and a guy lassoed you huh uh-huh i what that reminded me of being on a family trip in vermont and we're some new yorkers you know big city types even though it's Woodstock, New York. City slickers. Compared to Vermonters. You step out of your car, hey, these mosquitoes up here are as big as Hudson Gooses.

Yes. Hudson Gooses. And then the locals go, mm, city folk. They stink. This was truly right out of a fucking funny farm or something that you know we're driving through in our volvo and we stop off and we see they go there's like a kind of a little uh carnival going on here at this park and then there's like all these games that you can take part in at this little town carnival. And one of them was they rubbed,

he rubbed butter on a pig. Wait, they rubbed a pig and butter and they rubbed a pig and butter. And then all the neighborhood kids, you like chased him around trying to grab him. That was one game. That's like a Simpsons joke. Like I know that's real.

And the pig is like slippery and they're trying to grab him. The next one I had not heard of called like a Simpsons joke. I know. That's real. And the pig is like slippery and they're trying to grab him. The next one I had not heard of called like a cow flop or something where a cow is walking around in like a rodeo ring. But the ground is sectioned off into areas that are numbered and you bet on where the cow is going to shit. Oh, wow. You put like $50 on like B8 or something. BB8. That's a tough one to get because he's moving. Well, dude, when I saw Star Wars, I put $50 on BB8.

You might take it. One for Star Wars and I'll put 50 on BB8. What do you mean, sir? Just take the 50 bucks. Guy's in in row BB, seat 8. No, but here's the great thing. You sit down, you look next to you, and there's little guys like, hey, hey! Get out of here!

Babu Frick, you're not until the next three movies. So we're at this fair in Vermont, and I says to myself, Tim, I'm a city boy. I'm not going to take part in either of those. I couldn't catch that pig. Yeah, but then, here's what they have. And the pig ran right into your arms, I bet.

And I ate him whole. No. Oh, no. I spotted a game that I did want to take part in, right? Me and my brother walk over to this pavilion. There's a pie eating competition going down. Oh. Where you fucking have your hands behind your back and you

mash your face into a raspberry pie and see who could eat it lard ass man from uh exactly it was just like that uh it really was but we weren't on it that's a stand by me yeah it's like one of the short stories that the kid tells um we weren't on a stage it was like just picnic tables at a pavilion with all the parents standing around but so me and my brother like we want to do it we want to sign up for this pie eating competition and uh they do it by age bracket my brother's three years older than me so we were in different uh leagues uh so we so we didn't do it at the same time we both did it and we both won and uh it was so great that we were so proud that we kind of like we were just like we didn't live there it's all these like

a small town in the mountains where these people all know and love each other and then we just cruised in the town like the venus and serena of pie eating yeah and then we spent the rest of that year we're just rolling through all the towns and he went well how many do you remember how many you uh cleared it was just the time to eat one holy oh yeah oh so when the first person is done you like it was like the first person to have a clean pan and it's like a personal pizza size right it's not like a huge pie oh it was a full pie i ate a whole pie and i was probably only like nine do you remember your time uh probably one second um in the 30 to 40 second no i do think i i think it was like under a minute and um it's hard because you eat the

middle of the minute you can't use your hands right so you're you eat the middle of the pie. You can't use your hands, right? So you eat the middle of the pie, no problem. But then everyone's kind of doing that thing where you're like, as you go around the outside, you're trying to like use your lip to pry it off the pan. And you get a thought, you're like, hey, wait a minute. It'd be easier if I just ate the whole pan. Chomp, chomp.

It's the goat brothers. The greased up pigs story reminds me of um have you ever done the version where there's a lubed up watermelon in the pool oh yeah yeah i've seen that i've never done it that's funny it's it's a it's a it's it's a it's a shit show the pool adds a good element to it that's good because you can't stand i forget i forget if it's like you got to get it from one end to the other like like the one person has to like hold it or if it's like a certain whoever has it at the at the time limit or what but man it is very funny to see grown-ass people fight over a slippery watermelon i worked uh i worked at a um at a country club once in the pool snack

bar. I remember, I think I joined the group like mid-summer or something like that. Mid-summer. Ah. Mid-summer stream. Okay.

Puck. Puck. Which makes me think of Pedro. And also a certain season of Real World. Keep going. Yeah, sure. That's what I was saying. Getting out with Pedro. Vote for Pedro. Wait, what?

Pedro was the puck got on Pedro's nerves all the time in the San Francisco season of the Real World. You know who ate his puck? Patrick Waugh. You know what, Tim? Say no more. I think he loved him because he wanted to smother him up i would say the players hated him get away from him he was selfish with the pucks he loved him uh i don't know what i was even saying i was talking about oh no no

working at the thing and i'm sitting there like we're doing whatever and one of the lifeguards comes down and has a watermelon and starts like like takes it out of the fridge and starts putting uh vaseline all over it and i was like what are you doing like oh it's a kid's birthday party right now i was like oh okay and they like left i looked at i looked at like the people i was working i was like what the fuck was going on just now? He put Vaseline all over that damn watermelon. And they said they described what was going on. But if somebody's just like, yeah, it's a kid's birthday party. I was like, is that the kid?

You ever fill a watermelon with vodka? No, I've heard about it, though. That might be something we try maybe around the 4th of July. That could be a good blowout. That could be just a good episode we do. that could be a good blowout that could be just a good episode we do that could be a good episode soon i'm coming out to la soon let's do that love it all right let's uh i'm gonna do uh i'm gonna try this uh what was it called the one where you put the i'm gonna try the one where you put the fucking in a beer in the beer what

was that called though that was a was a... Rusty Ale. Yeah. Here's the thing, though. I think I only have one of those Heineken 00s left, so I'm going to have to do that. Unless I want to do hard soda seltzers that I can't seem to choke down. All I have is Bud Light next, and that ain't no beer. Yeah.

Well, I'm doing exactly the same because I like this one. Hell yeah. This is great. These are good. Folks, we'll see you after the ads. Now we're back with Rusty Nails and our final thoughts.

Variations thereof. Oh yeah, oh yeah. My variation's good. I had a little sip before we came back with Rusty Nails and our final thoughts. Variations thereof. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My variation's good. I had a little sip before we came back. Fantastical. Fantastique. Yeah. My final thought, Jeff.

Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I am on order again. I like this. I don't think, you can't really screw it up unless you're uh you know your measuring cup is broken but i think i would go to a bar and still try different variations of the uh scotch whiskey yeah because the drambu is just gonna be drambu it's gotta be hard to fuck up and you know mike you've gotten a reputation for not liking the drinks i don't know if you know about this is that what they're saying in

the discord because you don't like champagne you don't like you don't really like spirits you don't like cocktails no i don't like wine i didn't like wine uh yeah that was one yeah you like beer mezcal mezcal i do not like i like beer i do like martini uh from time to time uh that time being let's see, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock. Well, my final thoughts are I love it. It's in order again. This one might be a stone cold classic. Oh, hey! I think you're right, Jeff. I think you're right. I can't believe we haven't had this before.

All it's got is one weird ingredient, Drambuie, and then as soon as I saw the bottle I was like, I've seen that before I know you I know you you sound like Andy Daly seeing me on a plane I know you I know you

Tim my final thought is I love it it's a stone cold classic order again I'll drink it all the time and I love a two ingredient cocktail just makes me happy. It's really making me think. You guys know I've been tinkering with the recipe for the Calpe Cordial, which is cherry Coke and spiced rum.

Sometimes I add the Amaretto, and I'm starting to figure out that maybe a two-ingredient cocktail is better. Also, I have this other. I've been tinkering with kind of a bourbon and peach schnapps. I had the Peychaud's Bitters in there. But don't you love the idea of a two-ingredient cocktail? Yes. Fernandito. And Tim, I love the idea of you developing your own cocktails.

Please keep us posted. Well, the test kitchen is really busy these days over here. Do you think, if you didn't have lemon for this thing, you're probably all right, right? Definitely. You don't need this. Yeah. But if you got a little citrus of any sort.

I had an ancient lemon that I had already peeled all the peels off for other drinks. And it was like I scraped some hard pith off of it. Yeah. I've got every once in a while I look at my fridge where I've like cut a lemon in half put it in the back forgot it's there and buy a bunch more lemons and be like oh yeah here's this old dry half a lemon this one fossilized lemon in the back of my fridge

when we started this pod I really thought I was going to be using a lot of like real brand lemon juice and like like roses lime juice and then celebrity bartender Jack Schramm said no guys with citrus you have to squeeze it and you have to drink it within 24 hours. Squeeze it, don't tease it.

That's what he told me. Have you guys ever heard of true lime? It's like a dry, dry lime. It's crystals. It's like, it comes in like sugar packets. So it's like hard little dehydrated lime juice. But then people have said like, no, like no no no it's no substitute for lime juice but me a lime freak you don't pay attention to every lime development that comes down the pike

sure but i think that what at real lime juice adds is like a certain like it cloudies up a cocktail in a nice way and makes it kind of uh juicy in a way that is beyond just the sour taste but hey what do i know i'm drunk well job done that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time can't get enough boys follow us on patreon that's uh patreon.com sloppy boys you know that's where we get the sloppy boys blowout. I love that show. It's so funny. It's fun, it's funny, and it's functional.

I forgot to say this before about the raising money for the Alzheimer's Association with the half marathon. I have already, it was out for like a day or two, my fundraising page. I already had to up my goal because I was halfway in two days. You over-raised. Yeah, so now I'm up to, I bumped it up to 2,500. You're right, you won two marathons.

Go to 25 million, who cares? Yeah, make it, whatever. I think the top number, I have to look this up, but the most I've ever raised is like $6,000 for a race. So let's beat that, folks. We got time. I love that about you, Mike. And I got to plug as well.

I directed an Audible series that drops today. It's called Summer in Argyle, written by Bob Odenkirk and Nate Odenkirk, directed by moi. This is Tim Robinson, John C. Reilly, the whole cast of Mr. Show. It's got just about everybody funny. Everybody funny, and then me at the helm, which is most important. And the whole time we were making it, I was like, this thing's going to be only on Audible behind the paywall. Nope. They put it on Spotify.

They put it everywhere. Go ahead and listen. So the common man can listen. Oh, nice. The common man can listen. Oh, nice. The common man, I mean, yeah, we kind of thought of it as more of an elite series, but I guess now the common man can hear it. Wow. I, yeah, I remember

opening up Variety the other day, and it was a Greek Helmer something, something, something. I just wanted to say Greek Helmer. It just said, Opa, the Greek Helmer strikes again. And hey, I got something to plug as well You guys might know already

But I think my video for Pup is out Yes Pup's coming out with a fourth album The Unraveling of Pup the Band That's April 1st And together Shortly after the holidays we shot a video for Matilda

It's sort of a relationship song written from the point of view of an old guitar. Ooh. Based on a real guitar. And that guitar is in the video. Matilda, check it out. And they're a fun band. This couldn't be more of a marriage made in heaven. Pup Rules, I'm a big fan of that band.

The Sloppy Boys and Jeff and Pup, I see the whole thing. It's beautiful. Hey, why don't we bring Pup along when we open for Gale? Maybe it's sloppy boys and then Pup and then Gale. A killer triple bill. And Livrod. Livrod is, you know, she's handing out tickets at the beginning.

I like us reaching out to Pup and being like, we haven't talked to Gale yet, but... He's like, they're like, good, we'll open up for her. We'll help you guys because we were gonna open for live rod and that's today she is sinking yeah and if you've never heard of them um they do sort of end up on the some of the same playlists as sloppy boys and don't stop and jeff rosenstock and it's great drinking music it's rousing it really gets you going if you

if you're a couple beers deep, put on some pup. Folks, we love you. We want to see more of you. And we'll see you next week. Later. This was Rat Pack Stylies. Bye. Yes, Rat Pack Stylies.

Bye. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys