The Sloppy Boys - 77. Scorpion Bowl

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

The guys share the giant communal tiki drink that's sure to "pinch your ass"SCORPION BOWL RECIPE6oz/180ml Light Rum1oz/30ml Brandy6oz/180ml Orange Juice4oz/120ml Lemon Juice1.5oz/45ml OrgeatBlend ingredients in a mixer with two scoops shaved ice. Pour into scorpion bowl. Fill with ice and garnish with fruits and gardenias. Add long straws. For flame, soak a sugar cube in overproof rum. Place in scorpion bowl center and light once bowl is placed on table.Recipe via Trader Vic's Bartender's Guide, 1972 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hi. And Tim Galpakis. What is up West Coast Stylies? Have we done West Coast Stylies before? Yeah, we've done West Coast Stylies? Have we done West Coast Stylies before? Yeah, we've done West Coast Stylies before. It's any time you're out here on the West Coast, Michael.

Yeah, baby. For us, it's normal stylies. Sitting in the sun. It's been sunny, but a little chilly. Yeah. Wearing a coat tonight. You have to wear a coat outside. I wore a hoodie.

Nice. Hoodies are so clutch i did i feel like the term hoodie started like uh like i didn't say that as a kid i said uh hooded sweatshirt hooded sweatshirt well my mom used to call my hoodie my bunny damn don't forget your bunny come she was trying to get a cute name started. I never went for it. I don't go for that shit, Mom. Now, my dad told me that a suitcase was called a soup case,

and I went for that. I said that until the age of 12. I got to pack my soup case. With what? Your what? Well, with clothes, of course. Split Pete, bitch. Where's your bunny?

Yeah. Hooded sweatshirt with a pouch in the front. You need them. You need them. You put so much stuff in there. You pack it like a kangaroo. Yep. I did.

Well, this week on the blowout, we did mini golf. Played mini golf, one might say, rather than did mini golf. did mini golf, played mini golf. One might say rather than did mini golf. Um, but I was wearing a 2018 MTV awards hoodie. I noticed that.

And I did use the pouch and it was kind of a pain in the ass cause I was keeping score. I put the scorecard in there and I put my little pencil in there every time I had to fish around there for the little pencil. So then I started keeping the pencil in the fifth pocket of my five pocket Levi's. That's the way to go. And check it out. No, I thought it was still there. It's not. You know what I put in there before? What time I

had some pill I needed to take later in the day? Put a little piece of cellophane right in my fifth pocket. Oh, wow. It's in there now. Wait. Is it dick shrinker? That day was the other day and the pill is right here. Folks, it's in there now. Wait. Is it dick shrinker? Wait a minute. That day was the other day, and the pill is right here. Folks, it's a Blue Chew. Keeping them rock hard.

Of course, we know Blue Chew is the website, not the- It's the service, Jeff. The service, not the actual piece. We all know. Look at that. Wow. Wrapped up in plastic. Wrapped up in plastic.

You ever put a couple ibuprofen in your fifth pocket and then that's what this is the ibuprofen but then you ever you forget them and then you wash them and and then i i was uh kind of recently i was like going through my clean laundry being like i wonder if those adevil are still there it's like they're made to dissolve like they get through a 40 minute hot wash cycle where your Where your jeans are like, I feel great. You guys ever have a couple tabs of acid in your fifth pocket, and you're walking around, and it rains? Yep.

Then your hip starts to feel like it's a glass of orange juice. Yeah, yeah. Just your hip. And you're like, don't tip. Don't tip. You know what's a funny thing? I feel like I told you. Well, I got a lot of celebrity friends.

But I remember when I was working with Sarah Silverman, I think I told you guys this. She's very health, you know. well, I got a lot of celebrity friends. But I remember when I was working with Sarah Silverman, I think I told you guys this. She's very health, you know. E. No, E. Yeah, that's true. She's healthy. She knows all about all the health stuff.

And she was asking me if I take any vitamins, because she's into vitamins. And I was like, yeah, I take. Flintstones, probably. I take like the men's one a day, you know, like the cheapest vitamin. I've done those too. It's like multi-complete. It's a multivitamin. And she was like, you take those? I was like the men's one a day you know like the cheapest it's like multi-complete it's a multi-vitamin

and she was like you take those she's like I promise you you shit those out whole like the idea that that's just like a BB that I'm putting in my body and then a day later it's gone they don't dissolve at all they don't I guess

so I'm just taking a new one every day you should prove it to her. See, it's not in there. See if you can find it. I'm going to try to save up a bunch of them back there and then turn around. Hey, Sarah. She's like, no.

Like, you know, Sonny in The Godfather. Yikes. Speaking of jeans and going through the wash, I washed some jeans the other day here at Jeff's house. I'm staying at Jeff's house. And thank you so much, Jeff, for being a host of The Most. Anytime. Made them an egg bake the other day.

Fantastic. Oh, and the other day, and then today, a shrimp fettuccine, what would you call that? Shrimp fettuccine Alfredo. And I put asparagus in it and spaghetti. Yes. It wasn't fettuccine, we had spaghetti.

Whole wheat spaghetti. Okay. Yeah. But back to the laundry. It was good. But hold on, back to the fettuccine. The sauce was keeping...

Oh, we turned it right back on. Like an uno flip. Wow. Right back to me on the fettuccine front. Remember the sauce, the Alfredo sauce... Oh, this is the best part.

...was... I heated it all up with some butter. Do you have any guesses as to what the sauce was in the fettuccine Alfredo? What the sauce was? Yeah. I mean, I would guess Alfredo sauce, but I don't really understand. That's where you'd be wrong. It was Lay's onion dip. Oh.

Chip dip. God, that sounds good Oh Chip dip Oh my god That sounds good Chip dip as a sauce Chip dip as sauce now Chip dip as sauce now? Chip this is Chip this is sauce now This ain't your daddy's

Chip dip sauce What if we do a thing Instead of like Gutting into things In their cake It's You Oh

Chip dip as sauce now You have a Jar of dip And you show show to somebody oh is it oh that's chip dip and you just turn it around and the label says it's sauce right now look at your watch now it is it was chips so I put my jeans in the laundry yeah put them in they washed washed them ride them them out. They had what seemed like a green grass stain on the crotch. Just a green crotch. But it wasn't there before.

From the spinach? I don't know how the spinach would have been involved. Yeah, the spinach wasn't involved at all. Were you rubbing your crotch on any lawns? Even if I was, it wasn't there. there the jeans would have for that to have happened the jeans would have had to left the drying machine rub themselves jeans have left the drying machine but i remember you thought it was like maybe the metal of the

zipper like yeah you peeled the zipper part open you're like oh is it coming from like i don't know the brass or whatever this shit is yeah maybe the same way that like uh the statue of liberty is green ah my copper this is maybe mystery is is a lot like when that that penny fell off my body when i was showering or out of my body and that was also copper kind of like the statue of liberty copper and cleaning things personal items is makes them green did you have a maybe one brand new green sock that for the whole cycle was rested right up against the fly of the jeans? That's the thing. It would have to be really stuck right to it. Yeah.

No, I don't think anything green in my laundry would have been already washed many times. The color was... But you did get it out, though. Got it out with a Tide pen. Tide pen. Tide pen. Tide pen. Tide pen. So if your jeans turn green, Tide pen makes you... Are you wearing them right now?

I'm wearing them right now. Look at my crotch. Let's go look at that crotch. Yeah, look at my crotch. You know, I've actually been eating Tide pods. Oh! And on that note, hit it!

Okay. What you got? And on that note, hit it. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Okay. What you got? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Whoa. This guy is a fucking chainsaw. Here we go. Relentless. Okay. Stop. we go relentless stop

hey it was a good honk that was greek on a leash new metal stylings by parker phillips and if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. Parker Phillips can't lose. Yeah. Do you remember that? That show? Parker Lewis can't lose. I've heard of that,

but I don't know. It was on like ABC or something. I think USA. It reminds me of like Ferris Bueller's day off. Right. Parker Lewis can't lose. That must've been what they were going off because I think he was like a high school student.

Yeah. But then I also think they had a Ferris Bueller show. Yeah. Mike Hanford's Green Crot. Yeah. Oof. How long ago was this Parker Lewis show? Can't lose.

I'm going to say 19... 1993. I'm going to say 91. I'm confusing it with like there was a show that was like Chad Barton Everybody loves Charles Barton Barkley? Charles Barkley Parker Lewis can't lose 1990 What am I thinking of like

Clyde Bartlett It was like a little Charlie Bartlett Is that a movie? That's a movie Charlie Bartlett Was that the Green Project Greenlight? 2007 film that's what I'm thinking Bartlett. Is that a movie? That's a movie. Let me look it up. Charlie. That sounds right. Bartlett. Was that the Green Project Greenlight? 2007 film.

That's what I'm thinking. That's like smack dab in the middle of like indie indie. Was that? I think that was a Project Greenlight movie. Yeah. Yeah? Yep. Or Fox Searchlight.

Some sort of. Yeah, this is very precious. Starring Anton Yelkin. Oh oh that's the guy that passed away tragically oh yeah yeah damn that was yeah that was a rough one yikes but that's like one of those movies what was the indie movie that really kicked off all that shit like what kicked off sex lives and videotapes it was amazing garden state garden state was one garden state you know i'm talking like the hand-drawn titles with the modest mouse songs,

like Juno and Running With Scissors. Obviously, Garden State didn't start it, but I would say that Garden State made a lot of money, and that's probably why a lot of those happened. But Garden State was like doing The Graduate, but The Graduate had been way earlier. I don't know if there was that same brand of preciousness. But also, Garden State was like doing The Graduate, but The Graduate had been way earlier. Right, right, right. I don't know if there was that same brand of preciousness. But also like Garden State definitely gets points for like curating an indie band soundtrack

that a lot of those later things would also do. Do you think those were all like following the footsteps of the Wes Anderson cuteness of like Tenenbaums? Yeah, he was definitely. But he was using, he uses a lot of like old music and these newer ones of like... Yeah, he was definitely... But he was using... He uses a lot of old music, and these newer ones were like, hey, we're going to do the same thing,

but with new... With the shins. He passed around a mix CD with the Rushmore script, like all those kink songs. Oh, yeah. Same with Garden State. Yep.

But Wes Anderson did it first, and Wes Anderson did it better. Hey, you won't, I won't contest that. It bothers me when people were like,

yeah, when they kind of treat Wes Anderson like it's like, oh, it's precious crap. It's like, there's a lot of

precious crap in the world. This is precious good, you know? Some things can be good if they're precious. Yeah, I think,

you know, he, he, he is definitely a style and people make fun of that style a lot, but I don't think anyone else really does it.

People borrow the aesthetic stuff, but he does. You don't see a movie that's like people talk so flatly and so oddly, like emotionless to each other. Well, what about like Napoleon Dynamite? Do you think there's a Wes Anderson influence on that? Yes, I do, but I I think Wes Anderson still has his own thing. Cut above. I agree. Yeah, exactly.

Often imitated. He's like Heidecker. Fucking everybody thinks they can do what Wes Anderson does or Tim Heidecker does. It's like, well, when it's the actual guy, we saw French Connection and I was blown away by I was just like realized halfway through that movie.

I was like, there's no fucking coverage. There's no, he's never just cutting. There's no cut ever that isn't purposeful. It's like, you're watching this shot that he planned out. And then it goes to this shot. They plan. And like when a character has their scene, it's like in their shot and every now there's an action thing is happening. But like, you're never just watching. He never shoots a scene where it's like master single, and every now there's an action thing is happening but like

you're never just watching he never shoots a scene where it's like master single single you know like you're never just like i'm gonna cut over here for no reason just simply doesn't happen right so imagine planning on a whole movie like that i'm not gonna do it i don't have the time i don't have the budget you never asked you gotta go to the studios you live in the same town as studios you go you ask i need money do you have any money for this for the movie i could walk down to prospect studios and ask them let's prospect it's just that little studio tiny one with general general hospital yes i used to jog around there and i'm hoping to get it discovered i used to deliver uh i worked for a

place that jeff and i worked there i'd have to deliver, I worked for a place that Jeff and I worked there. I'd have to deliver like tapes there, pick up tapes at the end of the day to their editing place. Yeah, me too. And I found myself

on a set on the General Hospital set once and it was just these little scene, little sets like a hospital room, a dock,

a kitchen, all like boom, boom, boom right next to each other. It was so weird. Boom, boom, boom. I like that. Boom, boom, boom. Yeah. I'm a drummer, so. Boom like boom boom boom right next to each other it was so weird boom boom boom I like that boom boom boom yeah I'm a drummer so

boom boom boom everybody say yeah hey that's a good viral girl huh oh that's one of the first viral girls come on guys boom boom boom everybody say yeah

I know that one you're gonna love her she's good she's new no she's old she's kind of an Irma Gerd really well enough that's weird Jeff I just realized that your air conditioner is a Danby She's new? No, she's old. She's kind of an Irma Gerd. Really? Mm-hmm.

Oh, no. That's weird. Jeff, I just realized that your air conditioner is a Danby. Wow. Now that's a good air conditioner. Danby, they make a quality item. We used to live on Danby Road in Ithaca. Let's not forget.

Hey. Ah, yes. Well. Oh, booze news. Yes, the booze news. Well, there's one big whopping booze news thing to report on. If you follow our socials, you've heard about this, but we wanted to make a big official announcement on the pod. We want to make us stink.

We, the Sloppy Boys, the band, are going on an East Coast tour this May, aren't we, guys? This May? That is right. Dismay. Yeah. Dismay, dismay, yeah great atlantic blowout tour 2022 basically there's this band that we're friends with dear blanca we met him through the um comfort monk podcast and these are some indie rocker dudes from south carolina who we've befriended so when

they came out they played la and long beach and we played with them and then they said to us we're planning an east coast tour would you like to join us and we answered yes yeah and here are the cities and venues we're going to be playing this may friday may 6th in columbia south carolina cola town bike collective saturday may 7th, Charlestown, South Carolina. Charleston. Charleston, South Carolina. The Royal American. Sunday, May 8th, J-Man's birthday. Asheville, North Carolina, Static Age Records

with Powderhorns. Well, that's going to be a crazy it's your birthday. That's going to be wild. It's going to be nuts. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, May the 10th, Interim North Carolina, Pin at Pin Hook with Jenny Bissetts. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, May the 10th in Durham, North Carolina. Pin at Pinhook with Jenny Bissetts. Thursday, May 12th, New York City, New York at Chelsea Musical. Wow.

Big one. Friday. Uh-oh, this is going to be a tough one. Friday, May 13th. Re, re, re, Troy, New York at Rare Form Brewing. Saturday, May 14th, the very next day, Boston York at Rare Form Brewing. Saturday, May 14th, the very next day, Boston Mass at Faces Brewing. And that is a two-show.

We have two shows there. Two-show and afternoon show there. Afternoon show. I think that might be an indoor-outdoor deal where we can play outside and even beer. If the weather's nice. I think the crowd is indoor, but we have to wait outdoors. Doof.

And then finally, Sunday, May 15th, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We love this place. Philomoka. We've played there before. Doof. And then finally, Sunday, May 15th in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We love this place. Philomoka. We've played there before. Love Philomoka. Philomoka. We will rock that place.

You can guarantee it. And are we sort of like, we're adding shows, we're cutting shows, we're moving other things around? Yes. So stay glued to our socials. If you listen to this podcast and you don't follow us on Twitter, I don't know how to help you out. Or Instagram. And also, if you're listening to this and you're not

telling everyone about it, do it. Listen. You gotta listen. Do the pay pig everything. Do the pay pig. Do everything. Here's the thing, folks. Our little sty is filling up nicely, but we're a band, right? A lot of you listen to the show.

Oh, yeah, the cocktails. Okay, shut up. We're a band. Yeah, shut up. We're good, and we play. You come see us. We're going to be playing like an hour of great music, and you're going to dance, and you're going to get drunk, and then we'll be like, see, don't you?

You will have such a fun time. I guarantee it. It's a wild ride. Yeah. If you come expecting booze news in the middle of a rock and roll show yeah we'll grab you by the back of the collar and the back of the pants and heave ho here we go you're out of here sweetheart you're not gonna be hearing any bip bip bip no you're not gonna be hearing any what else do we say on the pod well Give it up for your boy. Well, you might hear that. You might hear that.

The music is fair play. Yeah. But you're definitely going to hear a little. You might hear a little. Oh, wow. It took me a second to figure out that one. Different vocal range on that one. I like it.

I'm not good at doing an impression of myself. Ooh, Ben Folds. Maybe we do a few an impression of myself. Ooh, Ben Folds. Maybe we do a few Ben Folds covers. A few Ben Folds covers? He's got a song, Imitation of Myself. Oh. A bit of a stretch. He also has a song called Brick, though.

You must give him that. Ooh, she's a brick and I'm down. She's a bricker. Don't you know? I thought about the army. You know, that Ben Folds can really lay it down. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's he's the best okay that's it for booze news yeah yep all right now let me take center stage here and discuss the drink the drink of the day oh today we will be discussing the tiki classic the scorpion bowl you've had i've had i've had i've had i've heard so this is the scorpion bowl you've seen this before it's a tiki drink it's serving a big bowl

you got straws flying out of every which way big boy everyone at the table is sucking them down you don't know how much you've had because it's hard to keep track of it all and by the end you get off the top of the table and you fall down. Yeah, and sometimes if you're lucky, you finish one of these and then you see nearby a chest of free cold beers. Yes, yes.

Even though you're at a bar, you'll stumble into finding a chest of free cold beers. Is that place still open? Unattended, yes. We should go. We can't say where it is, though. Oh, I had a bottle of coors light

straight to the dome and sucked it down so fast that was we i think we told the story on the pod right yeah but it was it was that we got a scorpion bull and yeah the three three scorpion bull it's like how they say a zombie turns you into zombie scorpion bull is saying it's gonna get you you know watch out it'll get you. Sting you. That's exactly what happened. We voluntarily, consensually drank one. Yep. And then. I think you bought a second one.

I ain't buying shit. Somebody bought a second one. And then the third one was gifted from. From a slop head. Wow. Yeah. So that's where the night kind of got a little bit blurry. It's got to be expensive, right?

Scorpion Bowl is like a huge. Yeah. That's like a $28 affair. That's where the night kind of got a little bit blurry. It's got to be expensive, right? The Scorpion Bowl is like a huge... Yeah, that's like a $28 affair. That's very nice of that slobhead for doing that. But it's for a group of people. And you know what? You don't even mind the backwash because there's so much alcohol in it. It burns it right off. Right.

Okay, so this is our guy Trader Vic. Yes. Sure. You've heard. In the 30s, he was down in Honolulu and he was at this bar called The Hut and he discovered a cocktail there that was pretty much what he would turn into

the Scorpion Bowl. And it used a, I'm going to probably butcher this, Okalahu, Okalahu, a Hawaiian moonshine made from fermented tea plant. That's T-I plant. Okalahu, yeah. I don't know how to pronounce it, as the primary spirit. And he really liked it, so he brought moonshine made from fermented tea plant. That's T-I plant. Okolahui. I don't know how to pronounce it.

As the primary spirit. And he really liked it, so he brought it back to his place in Oakland. Was that just called Trader Vic's? Yep. And he used rum instead of the fermented tea drink. The original reportedly had 15 different ingredients. So he worked on his, boom-ba-boom, pouring this,

pouring that, it's a lot of this and that. He used rum. Among the ingredients were a bottle and a half of rum. That's crazy. Along with gin, brandy, a half a bottle of white wine to top it off. Garnished with a few gardenias, it was presented with a great fanfare to his

patrons! 1972 Trader Vic's Bartender Guide, Garnished with a few gardenias, it was presented with a great fanfare to his patrons. 1972 Trader Vic's Bartender Guide, which included an individual cocktail and updated bowl recipe that would become a more commonly used version of the recipe. Most of them are made. You can make a single individual version, which seems not like anyone. I could imagine our listeners might be doing that. That's a good point. I shouldn't poo-poo that idea.

Most of the list we're going to do here, or the ingredients we're going to say, are for like a three to four person bowl. Now you can also do the volcano top. You've had that? Yeah. Where you light up, you soak a sugar cube in 151 and then light it.

Yeah. And it makes like a low blue flame. That's kind of what we did for the, those Dr. Pepper, Flamin' Dr. Pepper shots. Sure. It was makes like a low blue flame. That's kind of what we did for those Dr. Pepper, Flamin' Dr. Pepper shots. Sure. It was that flame we couldn't see. We were outside.

But it's good for like if you're inside and that's... I like that. I've heard an alternate way to get it burning more is to use a crouton instead of a sugar cube. Yeah, I saw this method too. Clean out the pulp of a sugar cube? Yeah. I saw this. Method two. Clean out the pulp of a lime half and let it dry. Yeah. Soak the cube of bread

crouton. Cube of bread. Soak a cube of bread and half ounce of lemon extract. Place the lime half on top of the volcano like the bowl. Yeah. Insert the cube in a lime half and ignite at the table when the bowl is served.

This method will produce a tall yellow flame. So the other version is low blue, tall yellow. I think I told you, right, that one time I ordered one of these at the Tonga Hut, and they gave it to me. It kind of took the guy a long time to get the fire lit, and then when he handed it to me, I blew it out right away because I was going to walk with it.

And then I could see it like hurt his feelings. Like I think you're supposed to keep it burning. But it was actually the upside down lime, floaty lime kind. Yeah. You blew it out like a birthday candle. Great. Take care of that. And then it was like my wish was I was like, I wish the Spartan or drops dead.

Now, shall we? Let me tell you what's in this thing. Yes. Six ounces light Puerto Rican rum. Got it. Great. One ounce brandy. Six ounce orange juice. Oh. Four ounce lemon juice. One and a half ounce orgeat.

Combined with two scoops of shaved ice in a blender, pour and add additional ice cubes. Wait a minute, what is it? This is like, what's all this pouring talk? Oh, pour it into the bowl. It's not blended like a blended margarita, but they build it in a blender

and just blast it for like five seconds. Just to mix it all up. Chop it up. Gotcha. Notes, this is for four or three people. Garnishes, standard garnish, multiple fruits, Just blast it for like five seconds. Just to mix it all up. Chop it up. Gotcha. Notes. This is for four or three people. Garnishes. Standard garnish.

Multiple fruits. Gardenia flower. I love it. Communally served with straws. They don't even specify. Just multiple fruits. Multiple fruits. What do you got? Yeah.

Do we got fruits? Lemon peels maybe. I'm looking at a picture of this. Yeah. This has some orange peels in it. Yeah. This looks good. I got some Luxardos. That'll work.

It's a fruit. I have a scorpion bowl with the little volcano in the middle. That's good. Great. I'm going to light this fucker up. Yep. You have overproof rum? Yeah.

What is it? Not Lincoln Rays, but something like that. Great. I brought some sugar cubes. Yeah, great. Now, Tim, you're a tiki fanatic. Sure. Tiki freaky.

Now, do you have any inside info on this? I just looked at the cursory history online. All I know is when you- You got a book. This guy reads from a book about this. I have this guy. Trader Vic has a book called Frankly Speaking. They would think it would be a play on Vic.

Yeah. Frankly Speaking. Victory Speaking. Maybe I be a play on Vic. Yeah. Frankly Speaking. Victory Speaking. Maybe I read a book about some traitor freaks. Speaking victorily. Is it called Frankly Speaking? What the fuck? Anyway, I think the only thing to know is when you're a tiki freak is you're like,

okay, who was this one? Is it Don the Beachcomber or is it Traitor Vic? And we know the rivals. We know it's Oakland versus LA. And this one is a Trader Vic. But Trader Vic is more of like an interesting guy. Guy lost his leg very early. But then it's a very inspirational story of like, I didn't let him get me down.

But he's a restaurateur. And he opened like a whole chain. You guys have been to different there used to be two in la now i haven't been there was a really fun one downtown at la live that's gone and then the pool bar at the beverly hilton where they have the golden globes oh yeah is it trader vicks but like they got rid of all the kit shit and now it's like very slick and cool because they're afraid of being uncool but um so trader vick is really more of like a restaurateur type of guy than than as much of a

scoundrel like uh don the beach coat mccomber is a little more fun but that's uh that's interesting that he had it at the hut in honolulu and was like oh i'll make it at my place i don't think he invented very many drinks i know i feel like Don is more of an inventor. This guy's an appropriator. But I think of this drink much like a lot of tea. If you're in LA or a big city, you go to the tiki bars. But a lot of the country, or say you're in Boston, it's like the Chinese restaurants is where you get a tiki drink.

Same thing in New York. A lot of Chinese restaurants have a full tiki menu and this is one that you would see on there. You're reading the lyrics here. Werewolves of London. I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect. Very cool. Warren Zevon.

Warren Zevon. Is that in London? There's a Trader Vic's in London? I'm guessing. The werewolf is in London. I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand. Streets of Soho in the rain. Looking for a place called Lee Ho Fooks. Big plate of beef chow mein. Boy, I'll tell you, that's a song that really came around.

I used to hate that song. Then I got into Leavon Helm. Leavon Helm. Warren Zevon. Warren Zevon. He's great. Those first two Zevon albums arevon he's great those first two Zevon Helms are

amazing prime and then it's like you're like oh once you just need to be told like it's a smart guy that wrote this

yeah yeah you're like oh this is great this was I went to a wedding once and they allowed you to with your like RSVP you put in

a song like a song that you want to play on the dance floor and I did that song and it was great everyone got into the woo part fun fantastic and this was for the you know to play on the dance floor. And I did that song and it was great. Everyone got into the woo part.

Fun. Fantastic. And this was for the, you know, bride grooms first dance. I got to pick it. I was at a party at the solar's solar apartments in Ithaca. And,

uh, and I, and they went, I did, uh, they, they, everyone,

it was like a bunch of bro. Oh, maybe this was that, that, that ultimate Frisbee house that I went to. But yeah, for the ah-woo, the guy was turning down the boombox and everyone in the party was going

ah-woo, and I was like, that's fun. That's ridiculous. But then right after that, he puts on a song that at the time I had never heard, now I love, is I got friends in low places. Oh! He dipped the volume and everyone went, oh! I got friends in low places. Yeah, yeah. Oh!

Garth Brooks, right? He dipped the volume and everyone went, Oh, Oasis! And I was like, Whoa, my God. What is going on here, man? I love the Frisbee house. Give me a disc!

Not a CD, you fool! Get the fuck out of here! Here's the Garth Brooks CD you wanted. The thing about this drink, what it's most famous for is being the communal tiki cocktail. That's why we chose it. Hanford's in LA. It's a communal podcast. We're having a communal drink. But good point

when you guys brought it up. If you're not with the people right now and you're just listening to this, don't make a whole one and drink it yourself. You're going to be sick. You're going to be, I know you're going to be sick. Hey, food all the time,

you have leftovers. Maybe you make this drink, you have one or two servings, you put it in the fridge for the rest of the week. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard to not drink all of a drink. I've got a really cool story about a leftover drink situation in my fridge currently.

I'm going to save it for segment two. Oh, nice. Folks, we'll be right back after these messages. And we're back with a beautiful Scorpion Bowl. Oh, my God. Man. Slopheads, this is a new thing for the arsenal is the flame. We put a sugar cube, and then we dumped some overproof rum on it, and I thought it would just be like a meager little flame,

but we had a big fat it was blue but then it was also we also got a nice little peak on that yeah it's amazing tall i'm gonna put that in every drink i'm gonna every if i have a bud light i'm gonna put a little blue flame and we got uh some lemons in there some tiki umbrellas and some luxardo cherries now i'm curious for the first sips because it looked extremely orange juice heavy, didn't it, when we mixed it up? That orange juice was very orange, orange

juice, though. It's like a deep orange. Like Sunny D. Yeah. Like fake... No, it was good stuff, right, Mike? Yeah. Good stuff. It's good stuff. It's orange juice. It's OJ. Home style, Sumpol. Well, let's not keep's OJ. Home style, some Paul. Well, yeah.

Let's not keep talking about it. Triple sip. Triple sip. Woo. Look at this green straw. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm going to take a little of the F. Mmm.

Ooh. Rummy, you know what's funny is that I was thinking this only has one type of rum in it so it's not going to have that tiki flair but then I remembered that I overfilled the volcano and some of the overproof rum dripped down in the drink and gave it that

extra twang I took a little sip of the melted sugar cube it tastes very plasticky I just took a little sip of the melted sugar cube and the overproof. It tastes very plasticky. It doesn't taste right. You don't want to drink that. That was just pure sugar cube and overproof rum.

Maybe it melted to the inside of your straw and you just drank straw. That was melting my brain. It weirdly does taste tiki-ish, though. What is that? Is it just like having so much citrus? It's the orange juice. Yeah, but... I mean, a tiki is usually like lime and rum this is lemon and rum but like you know what's good it's got the second spirit the one ounce of brandy is adding that ah that's what it is hennessy was there gin in this too i forget oh the old early recipes had gin yeah this

one does not but this one added cognac. It seemed like what I read was like, as long as you got some rum and some fruit and some gorget and whatever else, whatever. If it's in a bowl, you're doing all right. And if it's way too much, you're also doing all right. But this is the classic Trader Vic's real one. Yes.

Yes. And he put it in his books and he tweaked it a couple times but this is we're doing the trader vicks 1972 official recipe wow uh i think it is that what is it hennessey yeah that just gives it a little bit of warm spice because otherwise you know rum and citrus doesn't taste this tiki-ish to me right yeah i Yeah, I mean, rum, if it's just like Bacardi and citrus, it's a nice beach drink. It's a nice summery drink,

but it doesn't have that stanky tiki on it. But when you start getting into the adding brandy, complex. I meant to take a little sip of the Orgeat. Is that like the nutty taste?

It's almond syrup. Yeah. Yeah. I wish we had longer straws so I can lean back. I got to lean in. I got a couple longies there, but not that. We should have like 10 foot straws.

What's the other thing that reminds me of Orgeat? Falernum. Falernum. They're similar, but different, right? Yeah. I think Falernum's a little clovey, but yes, similar deal. Is one a liqueur and one is a syrup or something? Right.

Orgeat doesn't have any alcohol in it on its own. But however, Slopheads, if you don't have Orgeat, you know what you can use is Amaretto. Take out the DiSorono. You know I got to go in for another sip. It's a tough one not to sip. It's so good. Yeah, it's good. You get a good chug on those slurps.

This is a good Hanford drink because, folks, Mike loves OJ, but he doesn't like champagne, so don't tell him to drink a mimosa. Nope. Bad when it's a scorpion bowl. I like that. Oh, he lines right up. I'm getting a sip. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. We need the long straws. We need hookah long straws so you can sip back. We all have to leave the mic to take a sip. I do love it. Also, a thing we forgot to mention is like, this recipe was a little weird, but it told us to build it in a blender and then it didn't really say much else.

But I saw from multiple YouTube bartenders that you just give it a pulse. You're kind of just smashing up that ice, but you don't want to get a slurpee on your hands. No, I think we did perfect. You know what I've been doing during the day? I've been making smoothies for breakfast.

What are you putting in there? Because I've tried to make these things before. I was like, what the hell do you do? Why do these all suck? You got to get like the frozen strawberries or frozen blueberries. Yeah. Pulse those up in there. I think also to make a smoothie seem fancy, you just need one weird thing.

You're like a little wheat germ. Yep. Avocado. I've done avocados. One weirdo. Yeah. Put a nanner in there. Hmm?

Put a banana in there. Nanner, peanut butter. Peanut butter. Put it in there. And also what makes it more smooth, milk or like what's a soy milk or almond milk or something but something actually liquidy to get some soy sauce hey kick them in hey maybe put some yogurt in there too now you guys are fans of segment one right love it you probably remember all the shit chat happens the booze news we learn about the drink what he's up

you probably remember that i teased that i have an anecdote about a leftover drink that's in my fridge. Right. Okay, so everyone knows that I love going to Starbucks and getting the sous vide egg bites. And everybody knows that I like to get a venti iced coffee with oat milk and Splenda. Folks, I met him there the other day. He did it. He loved it. Now, here's what's sad, folks.

I ordered before Mike. I had the last couple of bacon Gruyere egg bites, and they didn't have any portobello kale, so Hanford was eating... Egg whites and roasted pepper. Roasted red pepper. It's not bad, though. I can't be magic.

Because that was a good one, too. They're all good. And you're a a vegetarian this month so it helped you out is it still marching uh you were a vegetarian yeah that's right when we had that i was now here's what i was doing oftentimes if i get that sometimes i have in the morning other times again in the afternoon but then sometimes my i don't finish my afternoon coffee and then i put my afternoon coffee in the fridge right yeah folks what happens for a couple hours it's good in there but then after a while it melts yeah next day you've got watered down coffee so fucking shit that sucks man it fucking sucks i have had that happen maybe 400 times yeah a lot of watery coffee in there.

You know, the definition of insanity. You do something and you expect a different result every time. It's the definition of Lynn sanity. Here's what happens. I get hit with an idea the other day. Bing! I reach into my coffee. I reach into my other pants with my hand.

I pretend my hand's a vagina. Now, folks, get your minds out of the gutter here. I reach into my drink with a slotted spatula, and I pull the cubes out. And I put the cubes in a little bowl, and I put the cubes in the freezer. Wait. You kept the cubes. I kept the. Wait. You kept the cubes.

I kept the very cubes. You kept the cubes. And then I took my Starbucks, half of my Starbucks coffee that I couldn't finish. Yeah. Perfectly preserved. Perfect. And I put it in the fridge till the next day. So the next day, I take out half of a Starbucks venti.

I get my cubes out of the freezer, put them back together. A nice, strong coffee drink. It never got melty. Folks, that's the kind of thinking that puts you ahead in life. Tim, I also like, you know, it's very sustainable, saving the cubes. Yes, exactly. A lot of people would go fresh cubes, but you said no.

I already have cubes. I would have saved the cat, but I love the saving the cubes thing. Well, I'm not much of a screenwriter. I've never finished one. I'm a screenwriter, but I'm not much of a screenwriter. Hey, what is this? What is this? Truth serum in this story?

Man alive. I took two steps. I'm telling you my secrets about screenwriting. I remember in college, Mike, you had to write a feature for your screenwriting class and that you kind of like pulled an all-nighter and wrote like 50 pages and i wrote a lot of it was like the senior year was like the end of the year project and it was like a whole i had some ideas kind of floating around for real you had to write a feature in college that's great yeah well you don't really learn much when it's like two days left to do it and you're writing the bulk of it. You're just filling pages.

When I hit 90 pages, that's a script. No going back to proofread any spelling or grammar mistakes. And I am now a Hollywood guy. He's in Hollywood. Technically right now we're in Hollywood, so they can't say no.

Yeah, I can go back to any of those professors and say, well, guess what? We're actually in Los Feliz, but I bet if we walked five feet, we'd be in Hollywood. Sorry, I've been messing with the mic stand. If anyone heard any scratching or squeaking, that was me. I thought it was Mix Master Flash over there. Error, error.

This is great. Yeah, and then we have still a bunch more to go. Teamwork, guys. Yeah, I might consider at the break, you got a turkey baster? No. What? No. How do you baste your turkeys? How the hell are you going to host Thanksgiving here?

I don't host. All right. I mooch. You make poinsettia punches the night before, do you not? For Thanksgiving? You son of a bitch. What do I have that could be like a turkey baster? What do you need that for?

I was going to suck it out of the bowl and put it into the cup. Oh. What about a ladle? But, Mike, it's supposed to be communal. Yeah, but at this point, I'm leaning back. I don't want to keep leaning forward and moving the microphone. Lean back. Now, OJ's giving me a little heartburn right now Oh, that's Jeff, you suggested taking a Tums

Well, there's Tums right behind you, Mike, Tim What if I came out with my own line of Tims? Oh, that's nice Wait, there is something called Tims, isn't there? Timberland boots Tims, yeah But then, what are the shoes? Toms

Should I have one Tum or two Tums? I did two Hymns, yeah. Hymns, yeah. But then, what are the shoes? Toms. Toms. Toms. Should I have one Tum or two Tums? I did two. Two Tums for your Tum Tum. Is that what they're called, Tums? Because, like, tummy?

Yeah, probably. Oh, for crying out loud. That's no good. I don't like... You don't like that? No, I don't like the word tummy. I don't like when people say tummy. What about poopy? I don't like poopy.

Oh, my tummy hurts. I might poopy people say tummy. What about poopy? I don't like poopy. Oh, my tummy hurts. I might poopy. What about monkey gland? Well, it depends. If it's the drink, that's okay. If it's the gland... If it's the gland used to inject into people to make their... whatever that deal was.

Go back and listen to the monkey gland. Oh, that's a nice sweet citrus sting. Mm-hmm. These Tums taste delicious. Tums are good. Have you had the chewable Tums or where it's at? This is chewable. Shit.

Am I not supposed to be chewing these? No, you're chewing them. You're doing great. No, I mean like gummy. Gummy Tums? Yeah. These are like gummy Tummies. This is the Necco wafer stylies.

Yeah. Chalky. I like Necco wafer. Nobody likes that I say this, but I like Necco wafer candy. Hey, I also like, speaking of like chalky or waxy or weird,

the dinner mints. You know, like those little pillows? Not Andy's. The little chalky pillowy ones from Chinese restaurants back east.

Yeah. The very ones that serve tiki drinks? The very ones that appear in Jenny's, what is it? Butter mint? I like the bowl of after dinner mints with a spoon and they're kind of like M&M's. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, you're talking about

lentils. And they kind of taste like, they have like chocolate in them and they're minty. Yep. Exactly. Those are great. Those are the best. And they're like white, lavender, and like a greenish. I think Andes are the best. You unwrap them and they're little chocolates. Yeah, they're like little bricks. I try to. If anyone

ever stays at my house, my apartment, I like to put a little candy on the pillow. This is a joke. But it's usually not those Andes, so it's like a fun-sized Butterfinger or something. Do you ever do that Derek Jeter thing where you give kind of a little bag of takeaway party favors? Well, I do, but it's a bag of Jeter merchandise.

Here's a Jeter rookie card. Yeah, it's expensive stuff. You know, he's a Jeter uniform. Ooh. We're seeing some LA action out there. OJ. On the run. So you're saying that

this is a communal drink and you're not going to get my COVID because they're so alcoholic? You're what? I'm just kidding. Oh, who beefed? I'm calling it out. He's not in COVID. He's beefing. This is a new podcast. Hello. Who beefed?

This is why we don't do this In person You guys can't be trusted I didn't beef See folks We're not going to do it this time It sounds like a dud and delight I pitched

I was like we're all in person One of the blowouts should be cologne And we'll all smell each other And here you've turned that idea on its head. I didn't fart. You didn't. I'm smelling it. I said, who did it?

Who did it? I mean, there's a whole theory about he who smelt it. Yes. Well, we don't have that. It's childish, of course. Complete pat. There's no logic in any of that. I, okay, no.

I'll tell you. I beefed. No, no. Oh, I, no. I have a thing I want to do. We're not going to do it next week. Oh, you mentioned you had a thing to do. I was going to mention it the next week's episode,

but I'm going to mention it this time. Forget a few scorpion sips. I mean, I don't mention anything. Now I'm full of ideas now you know i edit the pod and i know how much i say i i i say like a lot oh yeah i like the drink and i like i like the drink i like my friends yeah yeah but it's a stumbling block sure and it's a generational thing a lot of us say like or um or you know. Like, oh my God. Yeah. And I thought it'd be fun. Next time we're in person, I'll wear a shock thing on my leg, not my neck.

And anytime I say like, you guys can zap me. Wow. What about your neck? My neck remains unzapped. Final offer, your dick. What about your back? What about my pussy and my crack? It's up to you. No, the leg.

I've done it on the leg before as a youth. What? As a prank. A dog collar. For training, for getting rid of bad behavior like this. So what would the show be? This would be a blog? This would be a normal show. Oh, oh, oh.

Not related to the drink whatsoever. It just so happens that in this one, I'm trying to weed out some bad verbal habits. Okay. Wow. I think it would add a fun jackass quality to our show. I think it would. It would have to be, yeah.

You'd have to be okay with it. Yeah. Well, I think I would probably do it. I would say it purposely once for fun, and then it would really hurt more than I expected. I would put it on, too, just to see what it feels like. Yeah. All right.

It could be fun. That'd take it right off. Well, that's for another day. But we'll do it. That sounds like an interesting idea, Jeff. Very interesting. And you have the zap. I would get one on Amazon.

You've seen those things that, like, to help you with your posture, you put something on your back and it, like, buzzes you have the zap. I would get one on Amazon. You seen those things that like to help you with your posture, you put something on your back and it like. Ferguson had one, didn't he? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, but it was a gentle zap. They should do one where it like shucks the shit out of you. Is it just vibrate or zaps you? It's a little zap.

Hey, we should all do. I mean, I'm pimping myself out, but we could all do i mean i i'm pimping myself out but we could all do callers uh what i wouldn't say like i don't i don't say like ever what have you liked the drink hey what do i say a lot of um like fart stuff you ask who beefed who beefed wait Jeff, do you cut the likes out of the episode? Sometimes. If we're really stumbling and mumbling, I'll tighten up our points. The sloppy voice. Jackie Johnson told me about an app

that can cut all your ums and likes. Yeah, but those are weird. Well, I'm weird. I say like so much that I feel like it's okay. I embrace it. You feel as if it's okay. No. Oh, Mike, look at you.

I like feel like a totally cool. Alicia Silverstone over here. Yeah, really. I know. I probably say like so totally bogus all the time. Yeah, that string of words. Yeah. So you can zap me if I say that.

I know my thing. I probably used too much. You must probably cut it out, but I say E equals MC squared. Throwing around that old chestnut. To quote peristophically is... What? Say, say, say what?

But if you think of any bad habits habits maybe we work them out on the pod that could be really good kind of a scared straight thing yeah a bad habit I have is giving money away to the less fortunate caring too much

it's kind of like the Patrons subscribing to our Patreon. That's right. Hey, shout out to the PayPig. PayPigs. Dose. Two? Dose and the stye. Nice little stye coming along. We love our little piggies.

Remind me to give them some slop. Or maybe not. No slop at all. Maybe you don't go with those. Maybe we'll just hold the slop over the side. Maybe I'll eat the slop while they watch. You eat it?

I told you this before. Pigs eat slop, right? Yeah, pigs eat slop. And we're the sloppy boys. Yeah, yeah. One of my college roommates, who was like kind of a dieting type of guy i remember he was like eating he was the guy who was shopping only by beige food um he would like watch me eat because i was like a college kid who was eating crap you know like a like a buffalo

chicken wing sub or whatever yeah and he'd like watch me eat oh i bet he'd watch me eat my dinner and i'd be like uh what are you doing he's like is that good and he'd be like eat. Oh, I bet. He'd watch me eat my dinner, and I'd be like, what are you doing? And he's like, is that good? And he'd be like, perving out on me. Oh, my God. Not actually sexual, but he couldn't eat unhealthy food. You got to remember, this is like 2005. This is pre-Blue Chew.

Blue Chew, the service, not the product. Are they even a sponsor for us anymore they must have pulled by now come on but you won't pull if you're on blue like these three guys can't get it up to save their lives what are we doing over here uh was this was this roommate the guy i know yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean he just kind of watched me i'm like how is that is that good yeah there are people i think there are people who do the thing where they if they're like trying to lose weight they chew they eat food they chew it and then spit it out is that something that was famously an elton john thing i had another roommate who was kind of a kooky dude who did he called it the tabasco diet where he would just get a plate of food from the dining hall at ithaca cover it in too much hot sauce for him because he didn't like

hot stuff and then he just couldn't eat his own plate of food but he would like try until it was too hot and then he'd be like this is like why he gets the plate of food that's so weird yes i thought you're gonna say like as a diuretic or something like that he did like tabasco but that uh it would just you know that's especially funny at a dining hall where you can just keep going up and getting whatever i know because then you just get another plate of food and not put the sauce on it's also just it's a funny thing of like you're using the hot pepper sauce from its original evolutionary you know it's like plants grow hot peppers to keep like animals like from from like eating them and then

it's like well it was keeping my roommate from eating yeah the food you know the thing the thing is with uh hot stuff is you eat it and it it hurts your mouth but you it releases like an endorphin that makes you feel good to cool down your mouth or something and you like that release. I know that moment when I'm eating like a pho and I've loaded it up with way too much hot stuff. Yeah. I'll be fucking like, and then the moment that that like breaks, it's like ecstasy and I'm sweaty and I'm red faced,

but then I'm like, and I like appreciate that it's no longer burning me. I'm like, yeah, that's a wasabi i like yeah because it goes away so fast yeah also i had so much wasabi one time that it felt like it was creeping up like under my eyelids like like it gets into the face it was beyond like a taste like it was it felt like ice water was like sloshing around the inside of my skull it was

and then it just stopped when it yeah because it, because it's just like a wave that comes over you, but I ate so much of it that it was like, it became more than a taste. People say that the wasabi that we have in America a lot of times is just horseradish, but I'm wondering, have I ever had real wasabi? Wasabi must be a plant, comes from a plant. It's a root.

It's derived from the same root as horseradish Or maybe the same family of root The Groot root I was out the other day with Tim He's eating pizza We got pizzas We get a pizza restaurant I haven't been to a pizza restaurant in a long time

That's so fun The tray's on the table so the pizza's up high We got way too many. But Tim, this guy, the pizza comes out. It's too hot for everyone. He bites right into it and he tells the table, proudly for some reason, he likes to eat the hot and burn his mouth. Hey, pain for pleasure.

You like the... You sadistic little fucker. But it hurts. Here's what was funny. I got too bold that day because i eat a lot of um i guess what you would call neapolitan style pizza the little wood-fired pizzas you get from a truck like bella luna or elio's yeah and they are not like swimming in cheese so when they they come hot out of an 800 degree oven i bite in right away i burn my mouth

i'm happy i love it but at this place we were at casa bianca which is a little bit more of a family restaurant you know uh almost has like a midwestern vibe and i was bragging to the table i i'll burn my mouth and i ate it and then the whole next day my tongue had that like dead gravelly feeling. Yeah, yeah. And I think it was like, oh, I'm maybe not used to eating such a cheese. Because it's the cheese that's the problem. Oh. Because it's like napalm.

It sticks and burns. Because cheese is greasy. And grease is like the oil in like a deep fryer. It gets hotter than the dough. So I think I like hot dough. But I think that that was such a cheesy pie that I did do some damage and like killed my taste buds. But like don't you also like get blisters on like the softer parts of your mouth too? Like, I feel like I get like,

sometimes you'll feel like, Oh, there's like a ribbon of, there's like a ribbon of skin on the roof of my mouth. It's like not fully detached. Just flopping around. That was when we used to get those supper set of subs from Larchmont wine and cheese.

Oh yeah. I would carve up my mouth so bad. It was a hard bread. Yeah. Those are good. Just score the top of your mouth so bad. It was a hard bread. Yeah. Those are good. Just score the top of your mouth. Legendarily, those are the sandwiches.

The whole, allegedly, the Steve Brule character just came from John C. Reilly hanging out with Tim and Eric. And he'd be going by the studio and be like, hey, do you have those supper set of subs? And they're like, yeah, we got them. Want to shoot a bit? And we're like, oh, yeah, we got the supper set of subs. We were at Mitch's house for the Oscars, the Oscar party. He made bar pizzas.

Cape Cod style. Oh, my God. They were so good. He got really good at it. Yeah. I guess the bar pizza is because the tin is specific. And you put mozzarella and white cheddar cheese. So I'm going to get some of those tins and try it myself.

Really good. Mitch is more hosty in his home than you would expect. He's got the dips laid out. He's got the chips laid out. He made some good stuff. Yep. The bar pizza. Did he make the dough?

Yeah, he did. He did make that dough, yeah. Can you get away from that step can you buy dough yeah when you say made the dough you say he's he put like a pile of flour on his counter and cracked eggs into it or like it's like when people are doing that's that pasta is always like that's like making pasta i've done that before that's fun making pastas fun that's intense that's cool oh yeah i had it oh yeah man pizza dough doesn't have eggs in it but it does have yeast in it yeah he did do some i came over there and it was like still in the bowls like overnight or

right but i don't want to do that like i don't want to just uh i think yourself a bubbly uh or or trader joe's has like pizza dough you can also most pizzerias you can just ask for a dough like at my dad's pizzeria people be like can we get a dough and be like it's a dollar fine really yeah because it's just flour you know it's like nothing huh um fucking hey i'm gonna do that and that but but the cape cape cod i think has a certain thing to it that that's that's that because mitch i i've never had i went to cape cod last summer and i didn't actually get any of the pizza, but it's like southern Massachusetts.

It's a thing of like you're not at a restaurant. You're at a bar. You get this personal size pizza. I think they did like a Doughboys about it, and so he got all into it. But it's a delicious little pie. I'm big into the new. I love learning about it. Hey, Detroit. It's square.

It's burnt. I love it. Yeah. Cape Cod. It's small. It's round. It's a little burnt. learning about it a new like hey detroit it's square it's burnt i love it yeah cape cod it's small it's round it's a little burnt i love it you know burn your pizza burn your mouth i spent a lot of time saying oh new york is the only way to go yeah then i went to chicago there's more than that too chicago pizza pretty good you ever had st louis style pizza no what's that now it's not very good it's thin like a cracker and it's it's a circular pie but it's chopped up into little squares kind of party style weird but oftentimes what you get along with it is deep fried ravioli

huh oh well so there you have it it's like uh you remember we used to get lunch at Sharky's at work? Yep. Like, they would have, like, a super thin, it was almost like a... Yeah. Almost like a tortilla pizza. Yeah, I think they were going more for, like, a Mexican tortilla thing. But, like, you could get a whole pizza, and it was very, very thin crust. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And they might have even cut it that way, too, with, like, the stripe down the middle, and then the... They make good... Is that a national chain? Sharky's? Sharky's? Yeah.

Gotta be. Is there something else called Sharky's, like sunglasses or something? I mean, I know Gooter. What was Kumbaya Sharky? It was like a Nickelodeon. Kumbaya Sharky. I don't know that.

Don't know. What the fuck was that do you remember a nickelodeon show called uh cat dog yeah yeah yeah well one time my sister when she was like five she was sitting just sitting on the rug on the carpet in the living room watching tv and she'd been sitting there all day and my mom walked by and she's like, leave, what's going on? You're catatonic. And my sister looks over and she goes, cat dog-atonic.

That's funny. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Because she was watching cat dog. Yeah. Cat dog was a little after my time. That was for my little cousins. Yeah,

you were more of a dog boy. Yeah. You were still watching Ninja Turtles. Yeah, yeah, still watching Ninja Turtles Tim, I was trying to I was almost going to go up to Lele and Sean's place and go skiing Oh, I heard about this It didn't come together?

It didn't come together She had got her snowboard stolen That's true Someone stole her snowboard The weekend before And then the week I was going to go up there, I ended up having things come into my schedule that didn't allow it. And then they kind of just got too warm.

That's sad. You don't steal someone's board, okay? That's a rule. I missed the slopes this whole year. You didn't get out there once? Not very gnarly. There was powder, man. Packed powder. Packed powder? I know. Kills me. year yeah you didn't get out there once not very gnarly there was powder man packed powder

packed powder kills me now i know you didn't go skiing but did you go a little yeah hey what's up the slums i would be down with some of my wall street friends we go yeah we'd spend a few nights skiing i would love it if you had old google wall street friends wall street guys who dress like 80s wall street where'd you find these wall street guys i don't think they actually work at wall street to be honest with you i want to get a job on wall street not in finance but just whatever selling hot dogs and then start acting like one of those wall street guys i work on wall street like those two-tone shirts and suspenders those wall street guys greed is guys. Greed is good, bitch.

Well, should we make a second round? Yep. Yeah, let's make a whole nother bowl of this. Uh-oh. And we're back! Talking about that.

Scorpion Bowl once again. It's a good bowl. Yeah. I defy you to find a better bowl than the Scorpion Bowl. Yeah. I can't even think of any other types of drinks like this. Yeah, why don't they just put other drinks in the bowl? I mean, I feel like there's two different bowls at the Tonga Hut.

What's the other one? It's not a zombie. bowls at the Tonga Hut. What's the other one? It's not a zombie. Maybe it's Tonga Punch. But Scorpion really cornered the market on bowl. This seems like the bowl thing I recognize more as like a vacation town spring break type thing where you just got a bunch of crazy crap in there. And it's right. And a lot of places, if you order a scorpion bowl, you'll bowl you'll hear yeah one second we're just waiting for it to come back like they only have one yeah oh yeah like sometimes they only have like one crazy ornamental i don't like

thinking about other people drinking out of the bowl that i'm gonna then drink yeah no nobody likes that um and you know we said second round we're still working on that for a scorpion bowl and i opened a bud light and those of you at home if you made a second scorpion bowl you're an honorary pay pig yeah but so you're honorary but you still have to pay the fee yeah yeah you still have to pay the entrance and uh but we hold you in high regard no i'm taking that out we don't hold the pay pigs in high regard right right you don't want to be held in any regard. They want to be disregarded because they're stinky little piggies. This is a good drink for getting off topic.

We really got off in tangents in segment two. Good tangents. Great tagments. We're shooting into different directions, not unlike the very straws in our bowl. Yeah. We're going every our bowl. Yeah. Going every which way. Yeah. Do you think that's probably it, that the straws kind of scrambled us and we talked in different directions?

Probably. I was like, oh, this straw's going that way. Maybe I should follow that tangent off that way. Now, Mike, when we were scrapping for fruits to put in there, I don't have much fruit here. Sure. I got some vegetables. You got a nanner. I'm not going to put in a baby carrot. But I did have have much fruit here. Sure. I got some vegetables. You got a nanner. I'm not going to put in a

baby carrot. But I did have some Luxardos. And Mike, you said, don't put those in there. Then I saw you eat one. Yeah. It's pretty good, huh? They're very good. I just think for a jar of $22 cherry,

you're adding, you know, sand to the beach. You should eat one. Sand to the beach. I know, sand to the beach. You should eat one. Adding sand to the beach. I'm adding gold to the beach. All right. Treasure. Hey, I found this out.

The human body has like 0.2 milligrams of gold in the body. How? It's like just the the fucking

the element. It's used for like for your joints. Gold. Gold. The body manufactures gold. It's used for your joints. Gold. Gold? The body manufacturer is gold? It doesn't manufacture. AU?

AU. How about this, guys? Arizona U. This Lobby Boys movie, it's like a heist movie. We're heisting all the bits of gold out of everyone's body, and then we're fucking starting to earn our own Fort Knox. Yeah. Because we're in debt to

We're in debt to We got BBL butt lifts. Yeah, we got BBL butt lifts and we owe a lot of money to, who's the guy that we love so much? I always forget his name and he's the Miller Lite spokesman who's a rapper. Oh, Post Malone?

Post Malone. It's Bud Light, but yes. What did I say? Miller, that's fine. We owe Post Mal what did i say miller that's fine we owe post malone a lot of money yeah and because we like we owe him so we make a chain for him i like that but then also we had an idea for a movie called trouble with the cheese where we all work at a cheese factory but then we get in trouble with the boss yeah that's good yeah that's very good we take the gold we just don't have funding is the problem. Yeah. Well, we're not getting the funding because it's ideas like this.

Well, I think that we want to make a mid-budget movie, and that's the problem. These days, you get the little micro-budget movies, and then you have the big $200 million. We don't want to make a big with the special effects and everything. We don't want to make that. No. We want to tell a story with heart and characters and a lesson learned. And we want to win an Oscar. I was watching the Oscars.

That would be fun. Yeah, I would love to. To get up there. Did anything weird happen this year? This year? Oh, somebody had somebody else's wife's name in their fucking mouth.

Yeah, I remember that part. And that one person didn't want that. Yeah, yeah, okay. So they had to be, sort of be forcefully told not to do that. Okay, that makes sense. Because it happens at the Oscars once every year, be sort of be forcefully told not to do that. Okay.

That makes sense. Because it happens at the Oscars once every year it sort of happens. Well, I usually tune in to the show just to see if anyone

has anyone else's wife's name in their mouth and they usually don't. Right. They have the nominees' names in their mouth if they're a presenter. They have a lot of

thank yous in their mouth. A lot of names in mouths but not the wife. Right. Not the wife. Which is what some people do if they're thanking their wife after they won. Not my supportive wife. That's their wife.

Their own wife. Right, right. That'd be a funny move, though. You win an Oscar and you thank your enemy's wife. I was like, what the fuck? Ha ha. I don't know if I really have an enemy do you guys have

a nice carved out one to one no and it's weird when people do I think unless you're like a superhero

or something I got a handful of guys I hate but they don't know I exist you know John Cena oh fuck him

hey hey hey that fake haired freak whoa hey the peacemaker himself is that what he goes by the peacemaker no that's his dc character that's his fucking streaming show well i've said this a hundred times on twitter i'm gonna make it official on the pod john cena if i ever see you cena see, I'm going to perform a fucking pile driver

on your fucking neck. How about this? People's elbow to the groin. Oh, okay. And suplex your nuts. Okay, yeah. And then pile drive you to kingdom come, you bitch. John, he's had a few too many scorpion sips.

A stone cold stutter to knock him out. And then I get down on my knees. I'm level with your groin. I start punching. Punching bag. Speed bag on your balls. That's not going to end badly for you. I don't see how so. Stone cold would be a good

guy to have on this podcast because he used to drink beers in the ring. Really? That was his thing. He would crack two beers and just dump them down his throat. good guy to have on this podcast because he used to drink beers in the ring. Really? Yeah, he would like. That was his thing. He would like crack two beers and just like dump them down his throat. Or he'd like just, yeah, just smash them into his head and drink them. Cans? Cans, yeah.

Cans. Bud. I wish, he's passed away now, but I wish we could get that guy from the man show that used to, his name was like Red or Fox or Red Fox. Oh, Ziggy, the Ziggy Zoggy guy? Ziggy Zoggy. Oy, oy, oy. Huh. Oh, the man show. Yeah, yeah. Yeahgy Zoggy. Oi, oi, oi. Huh. Oh, the man show.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't much like that John Cena, Tim. I think you... He's bad. Picked a good enemy there. John, if you're listening, I don't like you, okay? It's funny that the biggest comedy movie stars are wrestlers.

Yeah. Don't much like it. Oh, interesting. What was he in recently? It was like another one of these movies where it's like suicide squad and i'm fine you pair up a you take a hunky guy and pair him up with a comedian that's fine when it means one comedian's working but when you make these movies where it's like the rock and zach efron and you forgot to put the comedian in there you know pisses me off and cena was in one of those recently where i'm like who's the funny guy where's the funny guy i was in this yeah it

was so backwards about this i was in at a producer's meeting general and they're like hey we're putting together this movie we think you'd be great for it uh so we need a hunky guy and we'd like you to be the hunk and we need pairing it up with the comedians so they paired me up with the scene and I was like, whoa, you got this backwards and they were like,

no, no. You're the hunk. To us, you're the hunk. Me, the hunk. This guy. They're like, because you make him

look so bad. Right. He becomes a comedy dork. Yeah. And they said, you know, we're sort of rewriting the rules

of what a hunk is. Yeah. Yeah. I said, all right. I passed out because the idea was trash. Was the rate any good? Yeah, it was good, but the idea was trash.

I only do projects that really my heart is in. The rate was pretty good, though? The rate? Yeah. Fantastic. How much longer are you planning on staying on this couch? Oh, Josh. Just until I get that good project.

Okay, yeah. Until it gets you that good project. Okay, yeah. Until it gets you in the heart. Okay. I'm going to get a job that pays for a bigger couch. You got a job. Just get a really nice couch. You're going to invest in a couch. A nice pullout.

In my apartment? Yep. All right. But when I'm not here, you can't sit on it. Oh, really? I think we could broker a deal here, Mike. That's interesting to me. Yeah.

That would be my first order of business. Get a nice couch in this. Hey, let me take it back to Tiki for a second. Hawaiian pizza. You into it? No, I don't like it. I don't like the sweet pineapple taste. I'm not saying like, pineapple does not belong on a pizza.

I know, I know. That whole fucking... The extreme, people who get extreme about that get a life. I'm just saying, as a chilled out dude, yay or nay, Hawaiian pizza. As a chilled out dude, I'd say none of my fucking pizza. That's not a pizza As a chilled out dude I'd say not on my Fucking pizza I'll do it I'll do it I've had it before

And I've let you know If I'm like super hungry It's like whoa There's pizza here But I just don't like The sweet taste You don't like the sweet taste And it's red onion

Canadian bacon And pineapple Traditionally right Or am I getting that wrong? I don't know that I've had it with red onion, but that helps a little bit. I feel like I can't really muster up a strong opinion on it. I've heard people lose their shit in both directions on it. I don't think it's good enough to get all amped up on,

but I'll tell you, I'll only have it if it's like uh bad pizza place dominoes then get a hawaiian that's fun you know kind of or kind of the crappy place in town but if you're getting if it's a good pizza you need not have sure i guess i don't object to like any topping on a pizza have you ever had a topic she's uh no i like them all I love all God's foods I probably if you were to hand me a pizza and I'm like oh my god a hot fresh pizza I'm gonna open this box and see what's inside the most disappointed

I would probably be is if it was black olive and nothing else and I like black olive I like when it's on a supreme but I've been with people that have ordered just black olive and I'm like that's fucking weird that's a strange yeah because it's on a supreme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've been with people that have ordered just black olive, and I'm like, man. That's fucking weird. That's the strange, yeah. Because it's the smallest of all the toppings.

And it's like, it's meant to be a little- What, are you going to have 100 olives on a pizza, you fucking weirdo? And it's meant to be a little accent. You should have two per slice. It's like having capers on a pizza or something. But I like anchovies, even. Dude, when I was a kid, my neighbor had a party, and it was like, she was a girl, Kendra. And it was sort of like a crazy Ninja Turtles party.

And it was like, put whatever you want on your pizza. You were 16 and you showed up. I was 16. I was like, you guys still have these. It seems like you guys are the only people who even care about turtles anymore. But I remember putting M&Ms on a pizza. Whoa. That is strange.

And I did remember thinking, this is a little too weird. Yeah. I don't know if I need to. You put it on them, though, or they came like that? No, because you can't order it with. Yeah. Well, I didn't know if the household put it on them. The household was just like, we're getting some pizzas, and they're like, here's some

crazy crap if you want to put it on the pizza. And I did. But having some candy-covered chocolate on a pizza, that was the one thing that was even over the line for me that's too much was everyone like uh kendra who is this thing that's my neighbor that's my neighbor what did the uh what did the ninja trickles get on their pizza the cookie stuff i mean anchovies in the movie was just like oh that's i thought it was everything but the fishies but i i can't remember but I wrote a birthday boy sketch that we never did. It was like a pizza guy is standing at the counter of a pizzeria,

and people are ordering. Someone comes in and orders a crazy, like, can I have a peanut butter tuna fish pizza? And the guy's like, well, my wife's pregnant. He's like, oh, okay. And then the guy comes in and orders something really weird, and he's like, I work for the Ninja Turtles. Oh, okay.

And then somehow found 10 ways to, those are the only two that come to mind, but justifying weird shit. Have you ever had Viking pizza? No. Mookie has turned me on to it. You told me about it. Oh, I'm going to butcher this fucking story.

It's like a middle eastern dude who grew up in like i want to say norway because norway is where the vikings came from right why not yeah close enough and so he came out here to la and he opened a pizza place called viking pizza and the viking pizza at viking pizza is basically a deconstructed hero sandwich on top of cheese pizza so good it's so it's like chicken kebab and lettuce and tzatziki yeah so it's like cold lettuce and tomato and garlic sauce on a hot so he puts it all on cheese pizza yeah and uh my god it's fucking fast because it's the hot pizza and the cold toppings. You better get to work.

Well, you like it so fast because your mouth wants it. That's true. Right. And it's not going to work tomorrow morning when you reheat that thing. No. You got to eat it right then. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't see it very often, but I like those meatballs cut in the slices.

Oh, yes. That's a nice surprising treat. I invented a pizza topping. Like they balled it up and then they unballed it for you. Yeah, it's kind of they didn't even need that middle step. You could have just had some meat sheets. Sorry, go ahead. At my dad's pizza place, I had this joke for years.

I never did because I do a lot of goof stuff. Like I would take dough and braid it and then say that the lunch special was dough rope and stuff like that. But just to be funny, but I always wanted to make a pizza where it was like you chop up, you make a whole pizza and you chop it up real small and then you sprinkle it onto the next pizza and you as the topping. So then you're cooking it. But then the topping pizza is getting darker. It's like little pieces. And then I was insburg last summer and a place had that little pizza like but like tiny like how big were the pizzas on top of there they had like three baby slices of pizza with crusts and everything that's so weird just the same style pizza yeah just that's

weird so it's like they did an easy bake oven pizza and they chopped it up and put it on a real size pizza the thing about theirs though is the pizza on top was similarly cooked at the pizza on the bottom and mine it was supposed to be like a dark double cooked yeah like like a twice baked potato or something yeah or like even you know there's a big difference when you just get a fresh pizza or if you're like in new york you go to a slice place and you order a slice and they reheat it for you, it's crispier. I wanted that crispy effect. Not that I don't like it. I just don't really find the...

I'm not attracted to it. The rotinis on a pizza. The pasta on the top of a pizza. Rotinis, is that what I'm trying to say? Aren't those little like penne? Penne, yeah, yeah, yeah. That type of thing. Oh, I was thinking like tostitos.

Those are the little mini calzones. What am I thinking of? Pizza pockets? No. Shit, I don't fucking know. Pizza rolls? I never did that stuff. Yeah, tostitos, pizza rolls on a pizza.

I don't know. Totino. You ever have this? In Montreal sometimes. You know those little plastic tables they put on a pizza i don't know you ever have this in montreal sometimes you know those little um plastic tables they put on a pizza so the box doesn't squeeze down yeah there's some places in montreal they just throw a little piece of dough instead of doing that they put a little raw piece of dough in the center of the pie when they cook the pie it bakes up almost into a little

dinner roll oh wow and and it keeps the box from it's equally good at defending from the Noid. It defends from the Noid, keeps the box open, and also a little snack for Timmy. Even though he's eating a whole pizza? He's eating a lot. You're going to want that extra... He's carbo-loaded. Yeah, he's got a big race coming. And his college roommates are watching and getting off on it.

How was that? Did he ask you how it was? Or was he just like, he asked me how it was. Was, was he ever like, how can you eat like that? Like it was, no,

it was the opposite. It was very positive because he had had like cottage cheese for dinner and he was watching me. It was like, that's good. You like that? Weird. But then like, I was looking at his crotch and it was like,

looked like a tent. Yeah. Was he an outdoorsman? Yeah. He just got into mini REI. Yeah. Well. Well.

Well. Well, well, well. Here we are at the end of the episode. Wrapping it up. Hey, this is a long one. Whoops. That's okay. We got into talking about.

How long? Stolen snowboards and pizza toppings. Hour 40 over here. Hour 40? Well well we took a break for like 20 minutes to make this fucking yeah but uh we didn't say anything yeah did we say anything i think do we remember to say anything this this drink is great oh let's let's give our final holy shit we were just wrapping up without uh okay it's great it's great i drink it i love it it's great i was worried it was gonna be too apple uh too juicy, but here's the thing, folks.

The brandy. Oh, I'm on a cognac kick, and we had Hennessy, and it warmed this thing right up, made it fancy. If you want to go extra fancy, mix a few rums together instead of just one type of rum. Bust out the Demerara's. We could have thrown in a little Captain. We could have thrown in a little Demerara. You and the Captain make it happen.

You want to get fancy, you put a little suit tie, a little tuxedo. One more room though. Myers. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Dark Jamaican room. Original dark. It's great.

It's not good for keeping a nice train of thought. No. Don't drink this before you deliver a keynote. Don't drink this before you deliver a keynote. Don't drink this before you deliver a pizza. Now, do you like Hawaiian pizza or what? No! A pizza should not be in Hawaii. We were drinking a tiki drink.

That made you think of pineapple. You brought a pizza. We talked for pizza for a fucking half an hour. What the fuck? It's okay. Tim, it blew up in my face. What do you want me to say? I think it's fun to have sort of a free- exchange of ideas people don't people a lot of the a lot of the people tune in for the

shit chat really and that's what kind of what we did today yeah yeah but i think so we should be proud of ourselves but some people i think the more casual listener was just like this wasn't a cocktail podcast no but it's a podcast. Yeah. You listen to something for a little bit, and now you distract yourself from all the bullshit. Hopefully by now they just like us doing our thing. Yeah, I think that's the deal.

They're just like, people are like, I feel like I know Tim. You know, I feel like Tim is like my boy at this point. And I love Tim, and I love his two co-hosts co-hosts co-hosts I'm saying they love you that's great I love those two guys man

oh man oh man I love you you think anyone ever If anyone ever has had this experience Give us a voice memo We'll play it on the air Driving around and you're listening to the podcast And you pull up to somebody and you roll down your middle

Hey you listen to this You gotta listen to this This is good for you man This is good for you dude Yeah that's a good point. Spread the word. And if you could get evidence that you're spreading the word. Yeah.

Somehow. We don't have any evidence yet of people ordering the Calbee Cordial. Right. We need that. And here's another good summer challenge, folks. You go to the beach right let's say you want to do it radio raheem style he's with a big boom box usually you'd play some music but how about blasting your favorite episode of the pod i'm gonna blast the fucking albums how

about that that's even better yeah we're trying to get our music to the top of the charts yeah music's coming back we were in podcast mode for a while we're back we're hanging out the beach we're back in band mode we're abandoned a band and we're good, is the thing. We'll play A minor. We'll play C sharp minor. Well, it's a five-star drink, folks. It's a stone cold classic.

This is a stone cold classic. The Scorpion Bowl. Get some friends together. Make one up. Maybe you're on the Discord. Maybe you're Patron. You're on the discord maybe you're Patron get some of them together and make a little scorpion bowl share it with your friends and loved ones

bring in old Bipper and Cowlick and Stinky Stinky share a little scorpion bowl suck it downuck it down Suck it down folks

But don't forget Piss it out And if you have a Booze News theme Email it in to Sloppy Boys At BoozeNewsTheme.SloppyCuts.com I do not actually know what you say there SloppyBoysPodcast.Gmail.com

You say it every week I'm looking at Jeff's screen here. This is what he's got going on. Porno? That's our show. Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys where we release these episodes ahead of time. Can I try this one, Jeff? Yeah, go for it.

That's our show. Follow us on social media at sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time also be sure to check out our patreon

where subscribers can unlock the sloppy boys blowout our weekly bonus episode that's patreon.com slash sloppy boys thanks for listening

see you next week was that your impression of me no it's I think I've got allergies here. That's why I'm going, ooh. Yeah, I hope so.

Also, I'm reading for the first time. It is very difficult. You've got a lot of clunky words in there. Well, people, I'm embarrassed that people... Release these recipes? People know that I read that almost every other episode because by the end of this... Right.

I can do the intro, no problem. Hands tied behind my back. Well, goodbye, folks. Peace and love. And if you have a blowout theme, send it to blowout.blowout.

You know what to do. And make sure it's actually good. Blowout.blowout. blow up, dot edu. Dot you know what to do, dot edu. You know what to do. You know what to do. Give it up for your boys.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys