The Sloppy Boys - 79. White Lady

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

The guys meet an unsung member of the Sidecar family born in late '20s Paris.WHITE LADY RECIPE40 ml Gin30 ml Triple Sec20 ml Fresh Lemon JuicePour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake well with ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey folks welcome to the sloppy boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love i'm jeff dutton along with mike hanford i'm recording and tim kelpakis what is up and we're your hosts back on the zoom once again but you can't tell because the chemistry is so good. It's so tight. It feels like we're in the same room. When we won the award for third best comedy podcast in the world, was it because of our chemistry? It was an article, yeah, but yeah, the award. Mike, it's because we're so based and goaded.

What's that mean? You don't know what based is? I know, like goat, I mean, I know greatest of all time. Yeah, and when you're the goat, you've been goaded. I like the passive sound of goaded. Like, oh, no, I got greatest of all time. I got third greatest of all time. I got third greatest of all time.

Based is like, uh, you know, if somebody, somebody is spitting some real truth on Twitter or whatever, they'll be based like enlightened or whatever. Yeah. Cause I, I've had,

well, I've had base in the face. Yes, that's true. What's that Tim? You, well, I was going to say that I think the origin of it is like based in fact,

and like from political arguments maybe and then it just became like somebody says something that is uh like true to the core and you're like based true to the core i've been called a basic bitch before that's different yeah that's different i looked it up i looked up based on dictionary.com based is a slang term that originally meant to be addicted to crack cocaine or acting like you were, but was reclaimed by rapper Lil B for being yourself and not caring what others think of you. To carry yourself with swagger. For being yourself.

That's so much better than fact-based. It's saying, like, if you're a crackhead, you're yourself, man. You're not being a phony. Yes, yes. Me pulling that out a phony. Yes, yes. Me pulling that out of my eyes. Actually, I think it's fact-based. What I was saying was not fact-based. That's the true irony of it.

You just lost your goat crown, boy. Here's the problem, guys. I'm off my game because I'm just back from Santa Fe. I was lounging. I'm just back from Santa Fe. I was lounging. I was down there in the spa. I was looking out at rocks. Now I'm cooped up in the city life with you guys talking about.

I saw you in a hot tub with your feet out. That was great. Yeah. Tim, I knew something was up because you look so tanned and toned and taut. I did get really toned. I was already tanned, but I got toned down there. Yeah, you look a little more like Texas relaxed right now. You got more of a drawl. Well, that's true, partner.

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. People always get Texas relaxed when they're in Santa Fe. Tim, I saw a picture of you in a bolo tie. Yes. Okay, here's the thing. I was down there on vacation that culminated in a wedding, and I went to the welcome drinks for the wedding weekend.

I saw the other guys wearing bolo ties, and I said to some of these guys, I got to get one. And then a very nice guy, Rob, said, I'll bring you one tomorrow for the wedding in fact i'll hang it on your uh hotel room doorknob tonight and that's that sounds like code yeah yeah you see a bolo tie on somebody's doorknob at the hotel if there's a bolo tie on the doorknob i'm in here with a steer no if there's a bolo tie on the doorknob, I'm inside the room with southwestern aspirations. With a chilly neck.

But it's a good, the bolo tie really, I was wearing a normal suit, but you put a bolo tie on and you feel like you're wearing a bolo suit or something. And Tim, we know it's not your first time with a, not your first rodeo with a bolo tie. For these kindergarten pictures, told my mom wanted to look like Richie Valens, You know, it's not your first time with a, not your first rodeo with a bolo tie. Please. Kindergarten pictures told my mom wanted to look like Richie Valens.

She put a bolo tie on me. Remind me next time I'm home. I'm going to dig through the pictures and post it. Yeah. It's like a Western shirt. I look way more Western than Richie ever did, but. Oh, I have a picture of myself in a cowboy hat, an E.T. cowboy hat. I don't know why E.T. is on it. And cowboy boots.

I'll post that too. Mike, do you have any Southwestern style-ies photos of your young self? You know, I think I do. I got one where I'm wearing a funny wig. Oh, okay. Is the wig Southwestern? Yeah, I don't know, but the hat and the vest are pretty Southwestern. Good, good.

You know what? Speaking of Tim's fashion choices, my mom was listening to one of our recent episodes, and she emailed me a picture of Ralphie from The Christmas Story when he's in the pink bunny suit. And she said, do you think this is what Tim was talking about? He was talking about his sweatshirts. My bunny. Yeah, like wearing a bunny. Yeah.

I don't know. I've never heard that term before in my life. I don't know what's going on up there. I feel like somebody tweeted me and explained the origin of bunny. Yeah, it's like a regional thing. Yeah, in the bunny region. It's a rabbit farm thing probably canadian right is it canadian well that would make sense because my parents are both from montreal and there are certain isms i've got from them and it's taken me a whole lifetime to figure out like uh here's a weird one canadians don't say paprika they say

paprika yes and that is so weird because that is not even an iconically canadian ingredient they just chose to say that one thing differently where's that come from paprika i mean i mean paprika where's the spice itself come from? It's Hungarian, usually. Aha. And then if you're from Texas, you say both. Paprika. Paprika. Paprika. Paprika.

Speaking of spices and peppery type things. Yeah. Here's a booze thing I wanted to mention on the pod that I had that's iconically New Mexico. They got these green peppers called hatch green chilies. Yeah. And they're not spicy. They're they're nicey. So you order enchiladas and they

say you want a red or green or Christmas style where you get both side by side. But I waltz myself into the coyote Cantina, and I had a margarita that had hatch green chili infused tequila. And I normally don't go crazy for infused stuff, but this was really good.

So for round two, I said to the bartender, hey, give me just one of those tequilas on the rocks. I want to taste those green chilies. Absolutely delicious. It made me want to make a martini with it. It was really good. Do you know what the brand was? What was the brand?

Little Stinky Boys Crappy Vodka, which is weird because it was tequila. You know, before I said you got that Texas Southern drawl, you were in New Mexico. That's where Santa Fe is. Yes. I'm saying, I'm thinking Santa Fe is in Texas. You're dead wrong. I'm thinking of San Antonio. San Antone.

And hey, while I was gone, Mike, you house sat, you did an impeccable job. No, the wet bandits didn't burgle me. I had some very interesting insights into Tim's life that I will talk about now. I very much enjoyed going into the shower and seeing Jessica. She's got a whole rack of hair stuff. She's always changed her hair coat, so she's got the stuff. She's got nice soaps and conditioners and everything. And then Tim, over on the corner, Tim's got a Manscaped and uh fan cishers and everything and then tim over on the

corner tim's got a manscape shampoo and a manscape free free products big pictures of them that's i love that it's a wonderful product because that's what i have too it's like all i have i find the body wash but gives me a sort of a manly musk that i didn't used to have i like it i like it it drives women you got to. I like it. It drives women wild. You like it on Tim? Yeah, he likes the way I smell. You're going to like the way you smell.

Well, what do you say we get into a little... Whoa, hold on. Okay, okay. I had some insights into the way that Hanford House sits, which is I open my fridge. What's in there? Chip dip. That was chip dip I just could not finish this is the stuff that he uses as his alfredo sauce we've learned that's right yeah uh and there was sitting there i don't have any chips but i do have some uh

fettuccine i was thinking i was gonna make a hanford style fettuccine alfredo onion dip fettuccine now i'll go into restaurants now and I'll say, can I have a Hanford fettuccine? And they say, what's that? I said, well, first of all, I'm Mike Hanford. And they say, good for you. Good to meet you. What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean?

Now, do you know what I'm talking about? They say, no. I said, go walk over to the store and get a Lays. Get some Lays onion dip. Now, wait. That, to me, seems too thick for a sauce. I should have brought this up earlier when I was eating it. It seems too thick to be a sauce.

Was it globby? Did you feel it when you were eating it? No. It seemed fine. So I guess I answered my own question. There you go. But then once it's inside your stomach, it recondenses and it binds up. It comes out as a loaf asti no tim did you have any further insights into the twisted mind of mike hanford i had two

other insights one i wouldn't use the word clogged but the toilet something's up with the toilet no it hasn't been the same it's just it it seems a little bit like traumatized a little ptsd it's just a little rattled it's a little you go to sit down it's a little skittish he's hiding under the bed and then of course I found some very small socks and I accused Hanford of having a romantic

tryst but they turned out to be Hanford's socks I thought he was having one of his perverted rendezvous around here oh stop it alright and with that can we finally I did order something on the Spice Network rendezvous around here. No, stop it. All right. And with that, can we finally... I did order something on the Spice Network.

God damn it. My Time Warner bill is through the roof. It was a very pleasant, a very sophisticated soft core. Is that still around? Spice Network was my first foray into i don't know it's a good broadcast porn spice is nice they say you know they forget all right all right do we get into a little bit of hit it say it's time for Booze News. What's that?

Buh buh buh buh buh Booze News? Buh buh buh buh buh Buh buh buh buh buh Booze News? Buh buh buh buh buh Buh buh buh buh It's Pond Grand Adidas herself. She said it! Booze? It's pomegranate juice or seltzer? She said it! Uncle Mike put his head in the toilet! Big hand for Blazing Ducks! You win! It's Boze Nose, you cool kids.

Beautiful. I like that. Tig and Bass sent in by The Kanger, King Kang, Eric Kang. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Very nice, Kanger. What was that sound at the end? Do you recognize? I know whenever there's like a retro synthy thing, I'm like,

God, what is that? It's the end of a TV show type of a, of, well, the last one was, I think WGBH Boston, but that's not that one.

And it's, I've, I've also confused that for the Hanna Barbera thing, the beat. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is a new one I have to identify. God damn it. God damn it.

God damn it. Well, here's a fun little item we had. If you recall, when we did the Calpe Cordial a couple of years ago, years ago, oh, boy. Years ago. It feels like it. It seems that way. I mean, I was in Santa Fe, so time passes differently.

Hey, people are speaking of the Calbee Cordial. I love everyone's stylies. Me too. Oh, my God. They're doing some great stuff. Very creative people. We've only gotten anyone ordering it, have we? Well, Michael, you haven't seen a certain email from Johnny Eckerd.

Eckerd. Hey, Eckerd, think about the future. Eckerd, Mike, with a D, Eckerd, he went to a bar. Oh, he pointed out that this was a bar. This is in

Asheville, South Carolina, right around the corner from Static Age Records, where we're going to be playing on Jeff's birthday. That's going to be playing on Jeff's birthday. Yes. That's going to be a party show. I like that synergy. Very nice. And yeah,

Johnny took our call to action and he said, I'm going to order a Calpe Cordial and here's a recording of what went down. Oh, nice. Hey, can I get a Kelpie Cordial?

I'm sorry? It's a Spiced Roman Cherry Coke. Is it Kelpie? Kelpie Cordial. It's a thing. It's a thing. You'll find out about it. She said, I don't know shit.

Cheers is great. And a first match with... Yeah, Eckerd, ACK. You know the line? Yeah, right here. Oh. Oh. yeah anchored yeah oh oh alright thank you

okay so nice she she first said cherry coke or and he said it's a thing and she said I don't know I don't know shit but it sounded like he ended up getting it with grenadine Is it Cherry Coke? And he said, it's a thing. And she said, I don't know. I don't know shit. But it sounded like he ended up getting it with grenadine, which is kind of Gotham style-ies, and garnished with a lime, a.k.a. Cuba Libre style-ies. Very nice.

Wow. And folks, when you send in clips, definitely make sure to have one of the biggest recording artists in history just sort of playing in the background the whole time uninterrupted that's found audio though he can't that's that's okay we're gonna get thrown in the slammer because of eckard that michael jackson song was so like warm and well mixed on this track it sounded fantastic hey i'm this is eckard i'm down at funk night uh we got some good tunes going i'm gonna calpy cord well if you order Calpe Corge record yourself and here's the thing we're nice guys we're not looking for you to like punk

these bartenders or anything we love bartenders we're just trying to get the the order going you know so we want them to hear it so if you have to explain it that's cool yeah that's really cool I did like that he said like oh you're gonna hear about it like it's coming definitely the wave is coming it's a fucking tsunami get in on this now yeah um and

then one last little thing i want to mention this is sort of a not a correction but a uh erection um no one of you guys last week brought up that we were trying to remember that there was a brand that we reached out to because we wanted to be ambassadors. Yes. And then when we finally saw who they hired, it was Priyanka Chopra. And we were like, oh, they're in a different way. Do you remember? I looked it up. Bon Viv Hard Seltzer.

Yes. Now, what happened to that stuff? We loved it. And we were like, this is the best of the seltzers, and they haven't Instagrammed since October, and I don't see it at Albertsons. Do you guys see it around anymore? No.

I think once they got their spokesperson, they skyrocketed. They didn't need any more ads. Well, they spent all their money on an expensive spokesperson. I think that maybe Priyanka kind of let them down and that whole deal shit the bed. They said, we'll never make seltzers again. Well, just for posterity, we reached out to them, we offered our services

and they were not interested. And like very soon, early on, they were an early front runner in the seltzer game. They had just dropped Bon and Viv and turned it into Bon Viv. interested and like very soon early on they were an early front runner in the seltzer game yeah they had just dropped bond and viv and turned it into bond viv yeah and we said now's our chance they oh that was funny when they were bond and viv they had come out with a like branded campaign with these two mermaids and there were videos like i'm bond and i'm viv and this is our seltzer and then like one week later they changed the name to Bond Viv and those ladies were scrubbed from the internet.

And I'm Bond Viv. That's how it goes. Hey, I'm Bond Viv. Remember the two mermaids that used to be around here? Well, they're gone. I ate them. And I shit them out my big fat ass. Hey, is that it for Booze News?

Wrap it up. That's it for Booze News. Oh, that's familiar to me. Is that from a game, Jeff? Yes, do you know what it's from? Yes. No. Is it a well-known game or like Doc Man?

Is it Doc Man? No, it's better well-known than Doc Man. Kid Chameleon. It's from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out or maybe even just Punch-Out. Punch-Out. I had Mike Tyson's. I had, or maybe even just Punch-Out. Punch-Out. I had Mike Tyson's. I had the branded version. Mm.

Ooh. Wow. Are you guys ready to get into the drink of the day? Indeed. Am I ever. Indubitably. Jeff, why don't you give me a super stager sound effect right here? Okay.

Okay. Okay. Juliana Margulies. Allison Janney. Felicity Huffman. Ellen Pompeo. Stockard Channing. Linda Cardellini.

Maura Tierney. And Gail. What do all these people have in common? They're all going to be guests on the latest episodes of Gale Watch? That's right. They're all going up in the chopter copter. Oh, I don't know if we can fit everybody. I know what those people all have in common.

Yeah? They are white ladies. White lady. That's right it is white lady week here on the pod because on the patreon show we covered gail one of our i mean probably our current favorite white lady and then here we're talking about a cocktail called the white lady you've had have not had have not heard yeah never had never heard wow me too never had never heard so it's a full it's well it is funny when you sent it out and like when you read it with a picture of a cocktail on a recipe website you go oh it's called the white lady but it's funnier to think of it as

white lady white lady white. White laddies. You're not going to believe this shit. Guess who invented this fucker? So, I mean, we have no image in our head. We're saying it sounds elegant, but we don't know shit. It looks fancy. I'm going to guess the dude who's been stealing all the drinks. Yeah, Harry.

Harry. Can you believe this? We choose these drinks based on either seasonal reasons or we're trying to mix up the spirits. No, on ease. Our own ease. Not all the time ease. This week was definitely.

Well, this was one where we had in-house ingredients. But have you noticed that the past two months has been all Harry McElhone? Yeah. Kind of strange. Wow. But here's where. We did did have a trader Vic in there. That's very true.

Um, Harry McElhone of Harry's New York bar in Paris. Very, we, he always comes up when we're talking about the twenties or thirties. And we say that he's the fuck Jerry of cocktails. Cause he appropriates a lot of times and he puts it in his book. But in this case,

this is a drink that he actually invented with his own two hands earlier when he worked at ciros bar in london in 1919 he came up with a drink called the white lady and it was creme de menthe triple sec and lemon and 1919 same year as hanford and i's old apartment on Los Feliz Boulevard was being built. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. That's funny to think. You know, I looked that place up and it's a historic landmark.

It's on the L.A. landmark list. Not no more it ain't. And it's lightly haunted. Keep going, Tim. Well, they say that the toilet seems like it's seen a ghost. Okay, so he invents this minty version of a 1919. Then he moves to Paris, opens his own bar, Harry's, and he switches the mint to gin.

And it becomes gin, triple sec, lemon. Guys, that's a gin sidecar, right? The sidecar was cognac, triple sec, lemon. So it's a variation on a gin sour. People don't really know why he made the switch, but people are happy he did. And of course the other Harry lays claim to it. Harry Craddock of the Savoy cocktail book.

He's from London and he said he did it, but whatever. We've been dwelling on this scene a lot. It's a lot of Ritz paris bucks club it's another one of these drinks yeah i was hoping that maybe this one wouldn't be so good because we knew harry invented it if it's really shitty oh when he's left to his own devices he's only like a c plus cocktail maker pint of triple he just has to steal from the best well i wonder yeah we'll see how good this thing is the way when we read histories, it sounds like this person ripped it off, but maybe they were all hanging around and they were all friends

and they were all sucking and fucking and swapping recipes. Hey, what's yours is mine. Get over here. What's yours is mine. I'm kissing you a bottle of gin. Hey, I'm kissing your ass. We do know that this is Laurel and Hardy's favorite drink We do know that Hemingway mentioned it in

Islands of the Stream Islands in the Stream Islands in the Stream Who's that Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton Dolly Parton Produced by The BG guy Written by the BG guy right

Wow I think so Wait who Barry Gibb Come on it's gotta be The BG Guy. Written by the BG Guy. Right? Wow. Didn't we learn that? I think so. Wait, who? Barry Gibb. Barry? Come on. It's got to be. Cool.

I do think that was in that BG's film we watched for the Patreon. I'm confirming right now. Stand by. Yes. Written by the BG's and recorded by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Well, when you think of the Bee Gees, three guys making music,

it reminds me of the sloppy boys, three guys about to make a cocktail that contains 40 milliliters of gin, 30 milliliters of triple sec, 20 milliliters of fresh lemon juice, pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake well with ice strain into a chilled cocktail glass garnish not applicable mmm but served

up huh no ice correctamundo would this be a what if you were to put like a lemon twist in it you can I'm not gonna stop you that seems okay probably look good yeah not the way I do but yeah you'd really mash that lemon going to stop you. That seems okay. Maybe I will. Probably look good. Yeah.

Not the way I do them, but yeah. You'd really mash that lemon twist up pretty bad. It's not good. Did you see, it reminds me of Casa de mi Padre

when Will Ferrell rolls a cigarette and it's like, kink on, kink on. That was so funny. Oh man. That was a good, that was a good prop work. That's a good ass movie. I love Casa de mi Padre. It's funny. All right man. That was some good prop work.

That's a good-ass movie. I love Cassidy and the Buncher. Yeah, it's funny. All right, shall we get into it? Yes. Let's do it. Do we hit them with the ads? Yeah, baby.

Oof. Love these ads. Guys, there's a really easy way to not have these ads, and it's just joining on the other things. The Patreons. You got to jump in with your friends on the Patreon. Join the club over there. It's kind of cool.

But if you don't want to do that, have fun listening to ads. They are good ads, and we make them, and we endorse them. We make them with love, that's for sure. Yep. Handcrafted ads. Bye, folks. And we're back discussing the white lady, Linda Cardellini.

Yes. Yes. The Cardellini. Hey, that looks good with the garnish. Yeah. My God. Foolish not to garnish. Yeah. My God. It's a pretty classic look. Foolish not to garnish.

I was a fool. Hey, I can never tell. Like, mine looks a little small in my coupe. I can never tell if we should make doubles or not. Like, sometimes I feel like, God, you'd be nuts to make a double of this drink. And then other times it doesn't fill the glass when you make it to specs. Well, do you want to get utterly tanked or not?

Yes. I think you got sort of a bold coupe glass there, Jeff. I think that's going to be... Bold. You know, mine's a traditional triangular martini glass.

So that's why it goes to the top. Am I breaking the rules here? No. All right. What rules? Sips? Hey, not that I would mind. Wait, what did you... Did you use... I used Cointreau instead of regular triple sec, All right. What rules? Sips? Hey, not that I would mind.

Wait, what did you, did you use, I used Cointreau instead of regular triple sec, so mine's going to be kind of drier and less sweet. I was wondering if I should have put a dash of simple syrup in there too, to kind of, well, let's just see. The only thing with Cointreau is that it's more alcohol, right? Or is the flavor? No, I mean, it's just really good triple sec, but when I have the cheap stuff like the Kuiper, it seems sweeter to

me because it's like... Yeah, I think it is. It's making up for it. I've got the Kuiper over here. I'm using a little Hiram Walker. Love it. Here we go. Okay, here we go. Oh, that is quite nice. Lemony Snicket. Quite refreshing. refreshing oh that's a summer drink yep i mean it's that tom collinsy taste it's that uh french 75 kind of taste is that gin lemon taste this is good did we wait uh i may have been uh zoned out did did you say why it's called the white lady um i did not and we don't know however here's the thing that kind of pisses

me off i got all these cocktail books and i forget to look at them sometimes and just when i was making my drink i checked i've got this hemingway cocktail companion and i was like i wonder if they have a chapter on because in my intro i had mentioned that he brings up the white lady in islands stream this book here look i see this book it's got a big fat chapter on the white lady and i got a fucking podcast and i should have read all this shit um and look i'm i'm skimming i see harry craddock i see harry mccalone and the truth lays within these pages but we'll never know because it's the sloppy boys podcast yeah no but tim you know what you do you take a picture on your instagram like your favorite page i'm gonna do that but here's one thing i'll read real fast it's just the

experience the context in which it's mentioned in Islands in the Stream is here. Okay? Great. They summarize and they say, Joseph suggests he have one at home first. Not only will it be cheap, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, here it is. Bobby is in a foul mood from all the mixed drinks he'd been forced to make

for all those hoity-toity ladies who just arrived on a yacht. One of them even had the audacity to order something called a white lady. So this is not like we're not saying, oh, Hemingway liked to hang around and down these. He used it as a reference of a fancy thing. Ah. Well, that's funny to be like, they had the had the audacity like this is a simple drink and it's delicious it's not like they're asking for espresso martinis what drink would be easier it's three ingredients it's a gin sour kind of maybe it's like well maybe it's just not not the ease

of which it's made just like uh you don't order a white lady A cultural context lost to time. You don't order a gin drink? This is whiskey town for Hemingway. Maybe. Maybe the problem is that Hemingway's a bad writer. You could have just found that out. That could be. It's certainly not one of my faves. I very studied and versed in his work.

Not my fave. Studied and versed. Yeah. Who's your favorite author author there falconer okay he had one ready to go he had one in the chamber i didn't have one ready to go that's my favorite art author it's weird because mike when whenever i it's strange you don't like hemingway because then i want to ask you like what's your favorite uh method of fixing your pants? You say, the hemming way. I know. Well, yeah.

When it comes to pants, that's how I like my pants done. I like them hemmed. Yeah. I don't need my pants falconered to tell you that much. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's good.

All very well and good. But doesn't that piss you off knowing that there's a whole chapter about this drink and I didn't read it? And now I'll never read it. Tim, I'm fuming over here. But the podcast is recorded. If I read it now, it's a waste of reading. A waste of reading?

I got to sound out the letters, form the words, comprehend them? Come on. Oh, God, man. Yeah. Ta-ha, ta-ha. Okay. Dumb and Dumber. Stylies. Okay. Lloyd Christmas. Yeah, that, man. Yeah. Ta-ha, ta-ha. Okay. Dumb and Dumber. Stylies.

Okay. Lloyd Christmas. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Ooh, this is a very refreshing drink. I very much like this. So, yeah, normally the sweet would be something like a syrup, but with the shitty cartoon triple sec,

that does the job. And I'll say I'm happy with the Cointreau, uh, version as well. Um, this is not lacking in sweetness. There was a lot of lemon. Yeah.

It's a lot of lemon. Yeah. I noticed, uh, it was, it was, uh, 40,

30, 20 as you go down the list. That's nice. My lemons must be old. It took me most of a lemon to get 20 mil. Why, that's most of a lemon. That's old-ass lemon. I'm always, I go to Albertsons, I buy a bunch of lemons, I don't touch them.

And then it's a race to use these little crumpled old shrunken heads. See, my old lemon, I got an old lemon here. It wasn't shrunken and dry. It was just like mushy. You know when you have... That's good. A lot of juice. You can feel kind of like the peel is separated from the fruit.

Yeah, like a water balloon. Yeah. Throw it at your neighbors and it all splashes open. Summer's here, bitch. You ever do that with an apple while i'll pick someone with a water balloon you bang it for a while and like it you can like knock the skin a little bit and then eventually you just got like a bag of apple juice yeah that's a funny thing like i remember doing that probably in like uh grade school and that's just a funny thing like you do that and it's a little different and it's like okay well what do we do now we get rid of something else you throw it at the school we get to our homework

for the school we play mortal kombat 2 which is the one which was mortal komb Kombat with Cypher, was it? I don't, I'm not, I'm more of a Capcom fighter guy. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. I more have Street Fighter 2,

like Tim's dad's restaurant. I'm more of a Tapper guy. In fact, it's the only video game I've really ever... Yeah, Jake Tapper. Stop it. I play a lot of Galaga, and I play a lot of Tapper, and that's it. You play a lot of it still? When I say a lot of it, I mean once every three years when I'm at an arcade,

I'll play 40 minutes of it. That makes sense. See, because I do play 40 minutes of it. That makes sense. See, because I do play a lot of it. It's daily at my home. Jeff, I saw the arcade machine might be bowing out. It's time. It's time. You voted it's time.

I voted it's time to go. It was time to go years ago. God, that kills me. No, I'm kidding. I love it. Oh, wait. This was an Instagram poll about whether or not you should get rid of it? No, yeah.

I mean, no. Yes, it was an Instagram poll saying, like, maybe it's time to get rid of this thing because it hasn't worked in a while. And the me who created it was 10 years younger. And I just don't have that information in my brain anymore. Oh, how to fix it, you mean? I got to become that person again. That person's dead. He's run out of lives.

So it might be time. Or I give it a weekend and I put the old wrench on it and see what I can do. That's a funny thing about the Instagram poll is when you go looking to see how people voted. And a lot of times if I ever put up a poll in my stories, it's pretty much a joke where like both answers are both options or joke answers. And I'll go through and look, Hey, who did this joke?

And who did that joke? And I'm like, well, this doesn't tell me anything. It was, this was just two jokes, you know, I don't know.

And you wrote them. You get people pick your jokes. I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. This whole thing was a waste of my time. Well, this was a serious poll, Tim, but I don't let the internet tell me what to do, you know? Cool. So even if the poll goes one way, I might go the other way.

That's awesome. So why do you do the poll just to kind of fuck with us all? Just sort of see how I feel about it, you know? I'm really pulling myself. Well, just don't jerk us around too much, Jeff, okay? All right. It's not fair. It's not right.

You don't really know how you feel about it until you see, like if we said, Jeff, you gotta keep your video game, you'd be like, fuck all y'all. I'm getting rid of this. I don't want it. Your video game. Jeff, you gotta keep your video game.

Your little video game. And then if we're Your video game. Jeff, you've got to keep your video game. Your little video game. And then if we're like, please, Jeff, you need to free up some space in your living room. Then you say, fuck that. It stays. It stays or I walk. Jeff, when that thing goes, I mean, you're going to have loads of room. You don't know what to do. Yeah, I know.

You should get a sauna. Don't get rid of the cocktail one. That one's fun. Yeah, I know. You should get a sauna. Don't get rid of the cocktail one. That one's fun. Does that work? That's the thing I left out of the poll is that I have two other arcade machines in the apartment taking up space, but that's the big boy. Wait, Ms. Pac-Man

and what's the other? I got the sit-down cocktail Ms. Pac-Man. Love it. Pizza parlor style. Does it work? Yeah. It's finicky, but it works. And then a miniature bar top Ms. Pac-Man with like the pink and blue side art that I love so damn much. Oh, yeah. Can you ever hook the two of them up to each other and have the two Ms. Pac-Mans going at it?

Sort of lez out. Yeah. No, I don't know if it works that way. Isn't that in the... What? In National Lampoon's Vacation, they're like, he's trying to show the kids a triptych thing

and then Rusty comes in with a space invader and shoots the car. That's not how video games work. No, yeah. It's just also funny to like, that map they had was just like the map of the United States and Clark was just like showing them where their car was going to like, that map they had was just like the map of the United States.

And Clark was just like showing them where their car was going to go, like state by state. I remember a kid, everybody has the kid who in school said that their uncle worked for Nintendo. Right. But I had a kid say that. Yes, but for me it was real. I had a kid say that he plugged a Sega and a Nintendo into the same TV and played Mario vs. Sonic. Yes. That's great.

I actually believe him. I had a friend in college. This is a little bit removed, but I had a friend in college who, when he was in high school, he had a friend who told everyone that he had a washing machine in his home that would wash his clothes then dry it and then deliver it back to his room. Oh boy. What the fuck is going on?

I've heard this story before. It's so funny. I wish it was my friend. It's called your mom. He didn't realize his mom folded his laundry and put it in his room. He was like, wow, it must have been the laundry machine. Damn, damn, damn. Speaking of damn, damn, damn, this is damn good.

Damn, Daniel. Yeah, how would you switch it up? I'm thinking about round two, and I feel like there's a world of possibilities with the white lady. I'd put a big old pickle in it. Yeah, you could do that a big old floppy gherkin i could imagine going a little less lemon or here's the thing with a lot of these french hairy drinks you you have the option of gin or cognac you know like uh i could imagine

and oh no wait if you made this yeah yeah you're calling card yak yak i forgot to say that every time i enter a room you didn't do that at the wedding this uh couple weekends ago did you i i got it confused and i said cone cone oh um no don't make this with cognac because then it's just a sidecar. Although I do like a sidecar. You know what I was thinking? Right next to the lemons in my fruit bowl, my beloved limes.

Oh, you want to put a lime in this? Yeah. I think that would be good. Lemon and lime. Now you got a Sprite. Maybe you would do a little Sprite stylies. Isn't Sprite just gin with lemon and lime in it? Yes.

Definitely. A gin sour made with lime instead of lemon would be a gimlet. But this is the triple sec one, so maybe it's Jeff's original creation. I think you put lemon and lime. Yeah. This is why it's so hard to create a new drink, folks, and why things like the Russian root and the Calpe Cordial should be celebrated.

Yeah. Oh, I guess we're calling that the freedom root now, right? Oh, thank you, Mike. Don't cancel me. Mike, please don't cancel him. The Siberian region route um by the way i'm working on a um cocktail of my own maybe i'll debut soon i think it's not

going to be a summery thing though it might have to wait just a little bit longer well then i might have to skip you jeff because i've been tinkering with one that's sort of a dog days a summer drink oh that's all right i sort of claim the uh poinsettia punch even though it predates me i kind of feel like yeah i sort of uh use my platform to shine a light on that one but oh did you invent that no okay no but here's the thing i'm like henry at harry's bar well like you're like a guy who when you make music you sample other artists and you make it your own so i think with the poinsettia punch maybe you didn't make it from scratch but you put your own spin on it and that's cool hey but speaking of which is it time for a round two i think so

y'all's we doing this we doing this what the fucking east is lock the gate down now no no no no no no folks we'll see after the break and we're back with round two of the White Lady. I'm pretty proud of my little concoction here. What do you got? What did you change up? This is half lemon juice, half lime. And you know how I said it didn't quite fill my coop?

Yeah. I did a little top up with club soda. Oh, Colin's Stylies. So you're doing something, who knows what you're doing. I'm calling it Sprite Stylies. I like that. I like that. Here we go. Ooh, I feel like I'm obeying my thirst over here.

Now, Jeff, don't you dislike Sprite? Yeah, but not with a bunch of gin in it. Come on. Come on, sweetheart. He's still got it. Okay. Well, I didn't even make a round two because I had my nose buried in a book. I'm a book guy.

Okay. But on a serious note, I looked at this Hemingway book, guys, and I learned two things. You ready? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Harry McElhone did, of Harry's later New York bar, that Harry, he did name it. Okay. But then Harry Craddock, he had a different recipe.

He had that creme de menthe recipe. So then we're thinking that maybe Harry Craddock had the the gin version and then that's so they both lay claim one had the name one had an alteration and then speaking of the name here's the origin of the name yes yes the white lady was named for the white lady banks rose rosa banks that's kind of like a plant name, a kingdom phylum class style. And I can't pronounce it, which was in turn named for the wife of famed English botanist, sir.

Joseph Banks. Banks was something of a Bon Vivant and was captain James Cook's right hand man during his epic circum navigation aboardigation aboard the HMS Endeavor. Okay, so it was just named after a lady, a fancy white lady. And also, wait, Bon Vivant? Bon Viv? Is that what that's all about? Yeah?

Yes. That's the inspiration for Bon Viv. And then they turned it into Bon and Viv because they wanted to be weird. And then Bon Viv ate those two and now we're back. Yeah, and then Mr. Bon Viv came around. He said, I'm on the paleo. I'm on the... What's the fish only diet?

Pescatarian? Pescatarian. Did you hear this weird thing? Did the band or the singer Jon Bon Jovi, he changed his name to Jon Bon Vivi. I think. Before that, he was Jon Anchovy.

Yes. Before that. Okay, that's good. Jon Anchovy. Before that. Before that. Hey, Jon Anchovy. Okay, it sucks.

Wait, oh, I'm confusing. I was like, didn't he really have a bunch of names? And I was thinking of John Mellencamp, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Cougar. He's a guy who did like every variation of his name. Oh, yeah. But there's something funny about John Bon Jovi's name. I think it's like John Bon Jovi.

That's sort of like Snoop Dogg, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Snoop Lion. It's Bon Jovi. His real name is John Bon Jovi Jr. Ah. John Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi. He's New Jersey guy, right? Yeah.

Italian Jersey guy. That makes sense. Yeah, he's almost like the new jersey rocker anyway stop it oh i will fucking walk off this pod he'll take you to the mat for that you know a lot of people say that when i wear my bolo tie i look like tunnel of love era bruce yes that's what everyone one person said that somebody at the wedding said it and then somebody else commented love era Bruce. Yes, that's what everyone's first thought. Somebody at the wedding said it and then somebody else commented on Instagram. When I thought that,

when I saw you in that, I thought you looked a lot like a jackass. I hope it was poopies. I've had too many white ladies. One. Okay. Well, can we final thought this fucker or what? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. yep hey i'm hosting this thing everyone prepare your final thoughts yeah i already done order again all right

it's an order again for me too and again and again sure and as scripted this thing rules but it also gives you a little latitude to express yourself. I like that, too. It does. There's a lot of room here. Yeah, Mike garnished it. Tim, final thoughts? Order again.

I love it. I mean, I do prefer, put a splash of soda, that's a Collins. Put a splash of champagne, that's a French 75. Swap the gin for side, I mean, for cognac, that's a sidecar. I do prefer maybe all those drinks, but this one still, I love it, and I would drink it until I die. For it to be one that we've never heard of is insane to me. Yeah, for sure.

It's very straightforward. You know what would be good in this? You know what would be good in this? You know what would be good in this? A splash of pineapple juice. Michael. The mind reels. Right? Wow. Yes. Yes. Yes. Bye, George. I've got it.

Bye, Jovi. I've got it. Well, that seems like the end of the episode. Not. It's time for the quiz. Yo, wait a minute. We haven't done a quiz in a while. Let's see who's still got the guts.

It's the white lady quiz. Okay. I give you a clue and then you name the white lady that I'm talking about. Oh, shit. Cool. Are you ready yes yep is this is it a buzz in or a blurt it's a blurt fest because there's a lot of them it's a bit of a java lunch oh is this a white lady lunch it's a lady lunch That Lady Lanche. Okay, here we go. Ya-ha-hoo-ee. This fair-skinned female took home the gold in the women's Super G Alpine ski at the Nagano Olympics in 1998.

Peek-a-boo Street. Yep, Michael's got it. Damn. Jeff, you don't know skiing. That's your problem. No, I almost had it. I was like, what's her name? Piper Paraboo?

Nope. Peekaboo Street. But it was too late. You might be peekabooing a little bit on your microphone. Oh, the whole time? You're getting a little crackly. No, just because I think now you're two white ladies deep and you're getting excited. It's quiz time.

And it's quiz time. Here we go. Ready? Yes. Step aside, Jonathan Lipnicki. time and it's quiz time here we go ready yes step aside jonathan lip nicky this pale female took home the gold in women's figure skating women's figure skating at the nagano olympics in 1998 took home the gold in 1998 that would have been lapinski tara Tara Lipinski. There you go, Michael. Jesus Christ. Are these all fucking athletes? Question number three.

School's out. This Olympic swimming white woman went on to host the Nickelodeon game show Figure It Out. What the fuck? That is Summer Sanders. Yeah. What the fuck? I have a feeling these are all going to be Olympic ladies. Here we go.

Yowch. Oh, no. This lady's ex-husband orchestrated a baton attack on Nancy Kerrigan's... There you go. Jefferson is on the board. Oh, my God. One point on the board. All right. Yowch. Here we go. Oh, my God. One point on the board.

All right. Ouch. Here we go. This white lady was the proud owner of the infamous jizzy blue garment. Monica Lewinsky. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Jefferson is catching up. Okay.

It is catching up. Okay. This notorious Long Island Lolita once dated Joey Buttafuoco. Oh, Amy Fisher. Yes, Mike. Who the fuck is that? Who's Amy Fisher? Well, she's the Long Island Lolita herself.

Also known as Foxy Noxy, this white lady spent four years in an italian prison before being acquitted foxy noxy amanda nox god damn it fuck Yes, yes. She killed a kid, right? She was, I think at this point, we think she didn't do it. And basically, it's a frame job. Okay, Mike, you have one, two, three, four. Jeff, you have two. Playing it fast and loose with these.

The fates of these people. That's not a heavy topic, is it? For me to gloss over with no research. When I write these quizzes, I just open up a document start typing there's not really much looking around um okay this white lady is the former co-owner of keller house homemade chocolates and ice cream. Mary Ellen Dutton. Mary Ellen Dutton. There you go. I got to get that one. With three. This white lady used to prepare tomato slices and mayo for her. Gina Haley. I think that was Jeff. Yes.

Yes. Despite what you may have expected, this white lady's son composed a wonderful organ counter melody. And finally, this white lady topped the charts with her hit single ABCDEFU. Oh, Jefferson. And that tied it back

up and that was the end of my questions. Oh no. So I'm going to spit one from the dome. Ready? Yeah. We better have a weird sound effect to start it off. Yeah. This white lady is known for her vaginal paintings. Georgia O'Keeffe. There you go.

Michael Hanford. God damn. And I dispute that the vag are close-ups of flowers. That's all that ever was. Oh, yeah. And some desert skulls. Flowers and desert skulls, and that's it. And that's that.

Congratulations, Mike. Mike, you won the White Lady quiz, and you get all the scratch-off money this week. Ooh, nice. I'm going to put that to good use. I see Mike. I thought that was you winding up a fun saver, disposable film camera.

I'm going to take a picture of myself in this happy moment. Yeah. So I can remember. Take a selfie. Take a selfie. That would be cool if you could make, you know on your camera on your phone, you could have it go it would be great between if you

could go You're like, oh you gotta slide to the right. Sounds like me on the dance floor. Jesus Christ, slide to the right. That's our show. Follow us on social media at media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time and hey also be sure to check out the patreon where subscribers can unlock the sloppy boys blowout our weekly bonus episode that's where the real fun stuff goes damn that's patreon.com

slash the sloppy boys thanks for listening folks we'll see you next week thanks folks and i just want to apologize in that one question about tara lapinski i said i started by saying step aside jonathan lip nicky because i thought lipinski sounded like lip nicky but it kind of was confusing and people thought it was reese witherspoon um no rey's always with renee zellweger. Renee Zellweger. So I have regrets about this episode, but thanks for listening. Yeah, I do too.

Yeah, my regrets and reservations aside, thanks for listening to this one. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys