The Sloppy Boys - 82. Americano

Episode Date: May 13, 2022

The guys try a popular Italian aperitif first served in creator Gaspare Campari's bar, Caffè Campari, in the 1860s.AMERICANO RECIPE1oz/30ml Bitter Campari1oz/30ml Sweet Red Vermouthsplash of Soda WaterMix Campari and vermouth in an old fashioned glass filled with ice cubes. Add a splash of soda water. Stir gently. Garnish with half orange slice and a lemon zest.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Michael Hanford. Hello. And Timothy Kalpakis. What is up? Yes, yes. And, uh... Sometimes, Jeff, you start these so quick, I don't have time to clear my throat.

That's all right. I have to do it on mic. It's good pod fodder, Mike. Well, yeah, and the last thing you want to do, Mike, is lean away from the microphone to clear your throat. Because I'm in such a... What Jeff calls the basketball right now. You're a basketball's length or something like that from the mic.

Yeah, I forget. Stay within a basketball, I said, because we all have bad mic technique. But I don't really know, does that mean like your head, like a basketball could fit around your head and the mic? No, your lips to the mic, lips to the mic. Between, so there's a basketball's length. Yeah, within a basketball. Why would you, a guy who doesn't know or play sports

use basketball that's what he thinks basketballs are for it's the only usage he's familiar with yeah and what's a basketball like three feet wide oh boy last time you touched when you were in kindergarten so you think that they're really big i thought thought you would have used a lightsaber base as the length. Hilt. A lightsaber hilt. Oh, by the way, I love all that geek shit. Yeah, you proved it last episode when you... No.

Yes. When you won the Nintendo quiz. Yes. You still sitting with that, Jeff? You still sitting with that? It's rent-free in my head, Michael. Nice. Tim, I feel like I've cut you off three times.

Go ahead, Tim. Yeah, I know. You're kind of on a rampage, and it's pissing me off. I cannot let anyone get a word in edgewise. I'm going to go through the list of three things that I had to say. Well, first, I wanted to say that maybe your catchphrase should be clear in your throat, and then when listeners see us in public, they should come up and go, hmm. Then I wanted to clarify.

That's going to be a good thing. I don't actually hate geek shit. I hate geek shit passed off as comedy. Be a geek all you want. It's really only about the comedy twist. Oh, passed off. I thought you said passed off as comedy. I was like, hmm.

Yeah. Well, when geek comedy passed office comedy in the comedy charts, which has really had a lot to do with the office going off the air. Yeah, they skyrocketed right after that. And my third thing I don't remember. That one's Lost to the Sands of Time. Shit. That sucks. Damn.

It's kind of cool, though. But that's the whole thing here. Like, this is a big fan. I'd like to treat this podcast, these episodes, as a big family dinner. And you got to get in there. You got to get in and say your thing. Or you're just going to shoot up and spit out. Yeah.

That's what family dinner is like? Yeah. If you're the food. Yeah, yeah. And spit out. Yeah That's what family dinner is like Yeah If you're the food Yeah yeah No you know It's And spit out I feel like there's a thing

It's like No my family It's a big family We're all talking At the same time Yeah You gotta You gotta grab that potato

Grab that chicken You gotta Go to bed hungry Yeah But dad gets the big piece of chicken Come on Thank you Thank you

You're welcome I had a thing where One time dad didn't get Somebody My brother I think Ate the big piece of chicken. Come on. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. I had a thing where one time dad didn't get it. Somebody, my brother, I think, ate the big piece of chicken. My mom's sitting there stitching up. Oh, you ate the big piece of chicken. Uh-oh. I hope Chris Rock doesn't slap me.

That's his bit. Yeah. He's looking for someone to slap now to blow off some of the steam. He's walking around, I can't believe I was slapped. He's got his hand cocked at all times. You know what movie I just finished watching? I watched some of it on the plane coming back and finished it last night. Moonstruck. You ever seen this movie?

Great movie, Michael. It is a fantastic movie. How about that Nick Cage performance? So funny. It's so weird. Like, everything is so weird in it, but it works so well. Like, the fact that Cher is marrying some guy who, Tony Aiello, who's like, look, I don't know how old he is in the movie,

but he looks like he's like 40, and she's, I guess they say she's 37. So it's all kind of a later in life marriage thing. But very strange movie, but a very fun movie. The dad is really funny. I love it. Yeah, the dad's funny. The old guy when he's crying and he's like, I'm confused. I watched the special features on that one kind of recently.

And it's written by like a playwright, you know, like. That makes sense. Yeah. And the director, i simply don't remember his name was something i can't i didn't recognize it as from like other movies well there would be no way of finding it out no norman jewison norman jewison i said i don't know his name from anything else um the dad from Frasier was in it, and he was great. He plays like a womanizing... Well, I'll leave it. I'll leave it in case Jeff wants to see it.

I haven't seen Frasier. You should see. I will. I will. You will. I like him because he's philandering, but he feels bad about it. He's kind of like, what's my deal? Yeah.

So, Moonstruck, what's the premise of it? She's a witch? No, that's what you're thinking of. Witches of, wait, witches of Eastwick? All right. So it's not really a moon thing. It's a love story, Jeff. It's a Brooklyn love story.

Gotcha. Well, on the cover, she looks like a witch. She's not. Oh, yeah. I guess you could see that as a witch. More of a modern look of a witch. No, no pointy hat. Wearing a maroon dress.

Dancing in the moon. Young Nick Cage, though, he plays a baker who has lost his hand in a baking accident, and he has such rage about it. It's so funny. He's like, has lost his hand in a baking accident, and he has such rage about it. It's so funny. He's like, I lost my hand! I love the part where he's like, get the big knife, I'm going to slit my throat. It's funny, what a great job Nick Cage did of hiding his sort of wackiness

for so long. It really has just slowly come out over time that he's just such a weirdo i think like like in his personal life or his acting his way of talking we had him up there as just like a normal leading man nothing to see here but you know he's like a little chart you know a charming weirdo actor and then now it's like he's off the rails like people go to him for like wackadoo movies right and he's like an ironic off the rails. People go to him for wackadoo movies. Right, and he's like an ironic celebrity, and he knows about it and stuff.

I think the weird thing was just that we caught him right in his five years of normalcy. It was like early on he was kind of a weirdo, and then later on he was a weirdo. But when we were in junior high, he was in action movies. Yeah, Con Air. Con Air and The Rock and stuff like that,

and he was kind of just being a leading man he is people love this movie uh i think ironically but the um the the uh hidden treasure or not hidden treasure america's treasure what national treasure america's national treasure uh he it's the choices he makes are crazy and the whole movie is crazy but it's it's a fun watch if you haven't seen it. Mike, weren't you H.I. McDonough for Halloween one year? I was. That was good. A lot of people thought I was Jim Carrey

from the Ace Ventura series. Ah, yes. I could see that. I could see it, but you had to look at the details. The tattoo. The tattoo was right there. I want to see his new movie uh where he's like playing himself as like a weird yeah uh the unbearable weight of massive talent yeah that looks cool which i don't like that they the studio has done that thing where the tv spots just say

like massive talent and it says the unbearable weight of in like tiny in tiny font above it the way that like they can't sell anything that's more than four words yeah yeah like how to train your dragon they were just like go see dreamworks dragon well i like to when i go to the movie theater and get a ticket because i still do i don't even buy it online anymore i get that at the at the box office i say yeah uh i say uh two for talent cool cool why Why do they say DreamWorks dragon? If you're cutting down on the words, get DreamWorks out of there.

In general, the public is not paying attention to what studio makes their movie. They're just going to see a movie. They don't know who made it. You know why, Tim? Corporate shit. But in what world does that PR even help them? there's kids walking around

being like i'm gonna see the next dreamworks movie right it's not about it's about oh tim you are so naive and where the money comes from in this industry you claim to have won an emmy or nominated for emmy in uh yes i'm a one-time em nominee. Yeah. But I don't want to call myself DreamWorks' Tim Kalpakis. There's a reason for that, because you don't understand the business, and you're never going to be at DreamWorks. Yeah, DreamWorks wouldn't touch me with a 40-foot pole. No. All right, are we ready for some booze news?

Fine. Hit it. One, two, three, four. fine hit it one two three four you want it all but you can't have it okay it's in your face

but you can't grab it what is it What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? West Coast style. Oh, this is nice.

Damn. Epic Booze News by Rick Tapper, a.k.a. The Rock Topper. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. I feel like we've heard from him before. Is he a... Rick Topper? Yeah.

Tapper. Rock Topper. Yep. Tapper's the topper. Yep. He's good. We've talked about Tapper the Game. Was that him singing?

That's Faith No More, right? Is the band? Yes. That's a No More, right, is the band? Yes. That's a band who I hear of. I only know that song. And it's a band who I have heard of in the rock and roll parlance. And I'm like, who is... I don't know any songs by them, but people think

they're great. Who are you? Like they toured with Guns N' Roses and Metallica on that big tour in like the 90s. Wow. Yeah, wow. Yeah, I don't know. I only know that one song, but I imagine that they're early rap rockers in the kind of red hot chili pepper vein. You know another band I only know one song by?

I was just thinking about same era. Space Hog. I only know in the meantime. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if they... Did they do more songs? I mean, I think that's a verifiable one-hit wonder. You had a Space Hog t-shirt at one point. No.

No, you should have. You can play the bass line so well. That's what you're thinking of. He should have had a Space Hog t-shirt. You should have had that. But you're saying that Faith No More is not a one-hit wonder and they have other hits. We just don't know them.

I don't know if they have hits. That's what I'm concerned about. Fuck. That video for that song though was cool. At the end it kind of ends with a guy playing piano by himself and then he gets up and walks away. The piano blows up. He's good.

Looks like they have another song called Easy. Oh yeah. It ain't easy being a rock and roll legend. Yeah. It sounds funny, but I just can't stand the pain. I don't know this song. He's like Sunday morning.

Ooh. All right. What's the real booze news? Okay. Booze news. I mean, this is kind of the ultimate in booze news. Let's say that there's the news is that at a brewery in troy new york tonight the sloppy boys are playing and it's it's a free show you don't even need a ticket you just

go to it whoa band of the people yeah and then tomorrow at a that's at rare form brewery in troy new york tomorrow inaces Brewing, just outside of Boston in Malden, you got the Sloppy Boys playing at 5 and 8 p.m. And then, what's more, Sunday night

in Philadelphia at Philomoka. That's not a brewery. It's an art gallery performance space. But you got the Sloppy Boys playing there. Oh, baby.

So that's kind of cool. Come on out, folks. Can I tell you, the tour's been great so far. I've been having a blast. Oh, yeah. So we're out there with Dear Blanca. These guys are power popper indie rockers, and they invited us to join them upon a tour, and we've been just kind of having a blast.

Yeah, that's some good booze news, Tim. Thank you. These are going to be good shows. I can't wait for tonight. Tonight was a free show. Is a free show. Yeah. When the fans don't pay a price, we kind of are not really obligated to do shit, you know?

We could just go up there and be like, what the fuck are you going to do? Yeah. We're just going to antagonize the audience until they ask us to leave. Well, is that it are you gonna do? Yeah. We're just gonna antagonize the audience until they ask us to leave. Well, is that it for Booze News? Wrap it up. I can't go one step farther! You're clitoris against the mountain!

Jeff! What? I can't play a little Holy Mountain clip on my own goddamn show? I know't play a little Holy Mountain clip on my own goddamn show? That's, you know, I know that's a big artistic movie for all those artistic movie guys, but there are different clips to play than rub my clitoris on the mountain. Yeah, because usually it's just like, bee-woop. Usually, usually. Yeah, but you've taken it up a notch.

You've taken it up and down a notch simultaneously, and I think that's too bad. Have all of the sounds, I'm not paying attention, but every week, is it always a clit rubbing on a mountain? Yeah, I guess so. You know, sometimes it'll be from a video game. Sometimes it'll be from a movie. That is an insane movie. I've never seen it.

I only know it from the poster on your wall, Jeff. Oh, that'd be a good blowout. Okay. I'll take your word for it. seen it i only know it from the poster on your wall jeff oh that'd be good blowout okay i'll take your word for it i mean you're one of the producers of the blowout so you should know if it would make a good one or not yeah hey produced by john and yoko money oh some of that imagine money all right who's got the drink? The drink of the day. Pop, pop, Americano. I was going to prepare that sound clip. What song is that?

Yeah, yep. A little bit of Americano. Pop, pop, Americano. Beep, beep, beep. Oh, oh. Zoop, zoop, zoop. It's called pop. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

Yeah, zoom, zoom, zoom. Okay, that's a different one. Master Zoom, Zoom. What am I thinking of? Pop on Americano is by a band called Yolanda Be Cool. Was that sampled by Pitbull or something like that more recently? I feel like I've heard it in something. Pop on Americano.

I don't know, but I know that Yolanda Be Cool is a reference to Pulp Fiction. Ah, Yolanda Vega. Wait, what's that? Who's Yolanda yolanda jeff do you know what that is yolanda vega did the uh new york state um lottery called the balls yes she would read the uh the numbers the first number that's so funny like hey i'm yolanda vega and i'd be like holy shit mom dad it's yolanda vega her her timing was was, I met a lady out here at a party once and I was like, her name was Yolanda. I was like, Yolanda Vega. She was like, I know, that's what it was.

Because I guess I didn't realize that it was a statewide thing. I was just like, oh, that's what we used to have at home. The drink, the Americano you've had? No. You've heard? I've heard because I get Americanos, the coffee ones, all the time. And then I knew there was another one out there. And today, I meet it.

There's another. Now, if you had to guess, do you think there's a connection between the two? When you say you're getting an Americano coffee, you know what that is, right? How they're making it? Yeah, it's espresso and ice water. Just hot water. I mean, I guess you could have an iced Americano. Oh, I do.

I thought Americano. I was under the impression that Americano was just like a coffee. But it's because. If you go to an espresso place that doesn't have normal drip coffee yes you order you order an americano and they just give you your espresso with a bunch of hot water in it to kind of emulate a normal simulates american coffee okay but it's not that far off jay because you're about to hear about an italian drink that does have water in it so that's gonna be kind of

cool for you it does have water in it does it does espresso not have water in it why do they call it espresso mike i think i guess because we drink it it zips you up but my question mostly water in it um well espresso is a tiny little one ounce pour and it's really strong so you people don't want to yes it has water in it but it only has like one ounce of water in it okay yeah an americano coffee has like fucking six ounces of water in it i feel like i'm distracting from the point please go ahead yes um well here's what's kind of cool do you guys remember in the negroni episode of the sloppy boys podcast taking me back we learned that the negroni very popular cocktail that we know was created at a cafe in florence when general negroni he he was ordering an americano right

and he said look we told this uh story and we, what's an Americano? But in like the history of the Negroni, it's like, well, everyone knows about Americanos at the cafes of Italy. and they make real stiff cocktails over there and i've kind of acquired a taste for it so i would like an americano but could you hold the soda and put gin in there so it's nice and stiff and that caught on and that is the negroni that we know and love so now a year of our lives has passed and we've been walking around thinking what was the americano what did general negroni And we've been walking around thinking, what was the Americano? What did General Negroni start with? What was the precursor? Interesting. Now the time has finally come.

And I've not had, and I had not heard, so I'm learning along with you. The IBA says the story of the Americano dates back to the second half of the 1800s in Gaspar Campari's bar in Milan. Gaspar Campari. that's the campari guy folks the actual guy gaspar wow the very dude that made that bitter bitter liqueur we love so much bitter liqueur ashy bitter crap okay mike remind us about the ashiness it was you you didn't buy Campari. You bought Luxardo Bitters, maybe? Luxardo Bitter. And it was red, and you found it had an ashy taste. But then when you drink Campari, does it still taste ashy to you?

I have to double check that. I'm going to say yes, because I do have the Campari Bitter. But we don't know that that's an ingredient yet, but it is. And I remember that kind of being not what i like either any like red alcohol from now on i'm just kind of i'm expecting an ashtray mouth throws his hands up fair enough i mean i can't argue with that it doesn't get much redder than this one too i know it makes sense red fire burning embers ashiness i totally get where you're going from mike is nodding yes um now you're probably

thinking hey tim hold on before you tell us what's in this drink like what about the name why all this america talk um the americano is an italian drink and then an italian guy goes to america and comes back with tweaks what's what why what and what when all of that and when what well a couple conflicting opinions here iba says the you know the international bartender association that makes a list they say that the nickname uh american was born when primo cardinara a giant italian boxer became world heavyweight champion at madison square garden when he returned to italy with the title he was greeted with this very italian cocktail for the occasion and they called it the americano uh as a tribute to his big victory um but liquor.com says it's believed that the name

stems from its popularity among american tourists and it's possible that the name wasn't even affixed until the Prohibition era when Americans absconded to Europe in droves, thirsty for good drinks. I like the boxer explanation better. It's more concise. That's like if you go to Japan or something and you come home and everybody's like,

hey, Mr. Japan. You're not any more Japanese, but that's the thing they think about so they're like hey americano all right you know it's a really good version of that is um little stevie van zant of bruce springsteen and the east street band his original nickname in that band was miami steve and i thought it was because he was from miami but he's from new jersey but he went to miami one time and then when he got back bruce was like miami steve all right and for years he would like wear a fedora and be like a miami guy

that's great it's like uh that's why we call you santa fe tim because you went to santa fe yeah i i've been there and look i'm wearing a t t-shirt that says Santa Fe on it right now. If you can believe. So at Campari's bar, this is like in Italy around that time, they'd mix up their vermouth with stuff. There was a drink that was called like a Milano Torino. And it's like, yeah, a bitter from Milano and a vermouth from Turin. And, you know, Italians like that sweet, sweet vermouth from uh turin and you know italians like that sweet sweet vermouth but americans like to mix it with something so i could see some uh truth in the tourist thing but basically we're talking about a cafe drink okay and that's where it's used in media uh you know when you you guys think james bond and you think of the book casino royale you're probably thinking oh the vesper martini or the vodka martini but the first drink mentioned the james

bond drinks in the first bond book is actually an americano and then in from russia with love he drinks two excellent americanos on his flight from rome to istanbul and then in from a view to a kill bond says in cafes you have to drink the least offensive of the musical comedy drinks that go with them musical comedy drinks maybe he thinks they're rinky dinky drinks um but then in the 2010 film uh the tourist with johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, they have Americanos before and after their fancy Venetian dinner. So what we're getting here is, yeah, it's a daytime drink. It's a before dinner drink. It's a cafe drink.

And the reason is that it is an easy drinking afternoon sipper. Sweet, not too boozy. It's a low alcohol type of affair. Yes. And the ingredients are 30 milliliters, AKA one ounce of bitter Campari and 30 milliliters, one ounce of sweet red vermouth. And on top of that, a splash of soda water method mix the ingredients directly in

an old-fashioned glass filled with ice cubes add splash of soda water stir gently garnish with half orange slice and a lemon zest oh my god i don't know if i got the orange slice or the lemon zest god damn it me neither i forgot the garnishes and what's more we've learned that vermouth shouldn't be held on to for too long and yes mine's in the fridge but oh mine's old mine's been in the fridge for a fucking year i think that's most people though i think we're making this drink to the letter of the law but the way people keep red vermouth especially no but nobody has fresh red vermouth yeah i have that big bottle of nuali Prat from the last time.

Nuali Prat. And I looked at it, and I was like, man, this isn't even opened. And no, I did open it, and I used fucking 15 milliliters of it, and the whole bottle's just been sitting in there for a year. Hey, I've never seen this. I'm looking at the IBA list. After the garnish, I've never seen a history below it. I know, me neither.

Have I never scrolled that far well i think that the iba is kind of uh zhuzhing up their website and maybe histories are going to be part of it it makes our jobs easier yeah yeah it's a one-stop shop for us you don't have to record episodes anymore just trying to tweet at people hey go to the IBA website from now on the history on the IBA is the official history we're going yeah let's read the url I know that James Bond prefers Perrier in his Americano so I got Perrier but I'm curious because I always think of like sparkling waters like that I got the teeny little bubbles and they're not always great for mixing sometimes you want club soda to really bubble the thing up.

Yeah. I got, I went to the store and I got two things. I got seltzer water, Howell's New York seltzer water and club soda. Cause I didn't know what the fuck. Yeah. I have,

I have a Canada dry club soda. Club soda. I'm going to, with no research, I'm going to take a big swing and tell you what i think the difference is michael yeah i think that club soda has some sodium in it and and does that label say there's sodium in it oh yeah here it is sodium zero milligrams tim we gotta we gotta redo our little theory here bud oh back to the drawing board on that one jesus interchangeable i thought we discovered

dude this has come up before yeah i mean interchangeable amongst people talking like hey club soda seltzer sparkling water whatever but you would think for brands that are making it i've definitely seen like side by side seltzer and club soda like the same brand no well the little thing i was i went to do a google search while i was in the in the grocery store and this little thing the explanation was like switching it didn't seem like they were calling club soda and soda water different things it seemed like that was interchangeable so i don't know what here's what i'm seeing on eater and i didn't see anything

that said soda water on the uh club soda is also carbonated with carbon dioxide but unlike seltzer it has the addition of potassium bicarbonate and potassium sulfate in the water these minerals give it a slightly saltier taste than seltzer which makes it a favorite of bartenders oh now what about sparkling water? Is that just water that we happen to find in the wild and it's already bubbly and you don't have to carbonate it? Ooh. What a goldmine that would be to stumble upon a wild seltzer fountain.

I did that once. I was digging in the desert and a bunch of Perrier shot right up my ass. The good thing about not knowing this Oh grapefruit flavors It's a splash of each one of these So it's not going to mess with it Agreed Well did we get into it Yeah

Folks we'll be right back With Americanos in hand After the ads Right ads right now but i'm out of gone now and we're back with americanos um hey equal parts that's nice yeah love that except for the splash except for this one yours is huge look at mine mine didn't make much. You made a double, Jeff. No, no. I just did a lot of cubes and I'm an abiding citizen. And you splashed more.

Mike, you maybe had a small splash. I did a tiny splash. Oh, no. You know, I think I did maybe make a double. I just filled a shot glass with both. I went with a big splash. And I'll tell you what. My vermouth, it's the kind I like.

It said on it, like, Antica Vermoutha di Giuseppe Campari, the very guy. Wow. Of the cafe. So I'm having Campari. I got a legit thing going on here. Damn. I took a little sip of my Campari. And yes, this is ashy, too.

thing going on here damn uh i took a little sip of my campari and yes this is ashy too it's it's i it's the the taste is the um you know those little bitter shooters we did yeah uh it's that's the similar to the taste so it's that's what i'm talking about when i say ashy okay so something bitter campari tastes ashy to you and then also those little shots of bitters that we do so yeah i'm it's almost as if the word to describe these flavors would be bitter rather than ashy. Yeah, you would think. But let's keep going with this episode. First sips. Here we go.

And before you take a sip, imagine you're sitting at a little cafe in Florence. Or you're up in Milan hanging out with Giuseppe himself. It's afternoon and people are walking by and you're just whiling away the hours. Great. Mmm. Well, I knew I wouldn't like this. I just

knew it. Mike. Sad. Really sad. this I just knew it like sad sad really sad sorry man sorry to do this to you sorry hey we're here for you Mike if you want to talk about it you didn't do anything since this Giuseppe Giuseppe did it to me man you'd think a nice big hunk of orange would help but I don't know if it does. Give it a squeeze. Mike, if Giuseppe Campari's descendants are listening, do you have a message for them? Destroy this drink. All copies.

All copies. If you don't know, folks, what we're talking about, it the uh al pacino duncacino part of jack and jill's look it up on youtube it's very funny oh as if anyone out there hasn't seen the classic film jack and jill which i saw opening day at the theater daytime matinee it's not like noon the day it came out damn i'll I'll tell you what. Yeah. I mean, I knew I would like this more than you guys would, but at least give me this. This drink is, if you sipped their parts, sweet red vermouth, Campari, and soda. This is greater than the sum of its parts. Would you not agree with that?

I think that this is rather refreshing, rather delicious, and it reminds me of, I was at an Italian deli in Pasadena with Mookie not too long ago, and I got a red soda that was called bitter. It was non-alcoholic, but it was a soda, and this tastes exactly like that.

Yeah, there's something in here that is really cutting through, I mean, it's the vermouth, cutting through the Campari in a way I did not expect because I'm not tasting that bad vermouth taste, which I don't usually like. And I'll give you this, Mike. Fuck in. Let's say you want to take part in the spritz culture, but you don't like champagne, which is your situation. If you have this, now you're having a low ABV bubbler in the afternoon with all your cool Italiano friends.

Yeah. You didn't have to have any Prosecco. I like that. Oh, I love that. So I didn't put much of a splash in here. I just went real quick with the splash. A true splash, yeah. Mine is really, like, not really, but it tastes kind of thick.

Like, the color, too, is reminding me of, like, a cough syrup. How about you go ahead and put a bigger splash? I think you're going to be happy with the results, Mike. Yeah. You want me to put a bigger splash? I'm going to put a bigger slash. Hey, because that Campari's got, like, sugary, like, around the rim. You know, when I took the cap off, there was cakey sugar everywhere.

Ew. Isn't that Campari? Or is it vermouth that does that? It would be the Campari, yeah. I get that on the top of my orgeat or something that's really sugary. Maybe it was mold. What? Okay. I put a bigger splash.

I think as we get meltier, I like it too. Oh, now we're talking. That's a great drink. Wow. Beaming ear to ear. Oh, yes. Yeah. I, you know, I don't, we'll keep talking about this.

Well, I like, it's in general, what a weird thing, right? When any recipe says splash, it leaves it up to us how much you're going to splash. And this is not necessarily a drink where you're thinking like, oh, I'm going to top it up. I'm going to go all the way to the top like a highball. So we're left, it's kind of like the Russian root of the cow. But no, Russian root spells out a recipe. Cowpea cordial. It's kind of up the uh russian root of the cow but no russian root spells out a recipe cowpe cordial it's kind of up to you to add your cherry yeah and when i'm splashing on top of campari and sweet vermouth i'm thinking shamu splash big splash sea world there's nothing wrong

with that splash away i don't want this to be too big because I like the idea of drinking this in one of those little old-timey sort of crystal glasses. It's like a little tiny wine glass. I want this in a big jug. A chug jug? It's weak. Yeah, a chug mug. What do you think of the... I feel like this drink...

I haven't seen these around but remember a few months ago we were kind of talking about the trend of low alcohol like not full-on like sobriety but a lot of people were like oh i drank too much during covid and now i'm interested in lower alcohol drinks what a funny trend that would destined to be short-lived i know i'm still gonna drink but it's also funny because it's like so there's less alcohol in this glass that i'm having now but i can have four of these i'm having six of these as opposed to three of the other kind i'll just pay more money but it's funny to think that this thing that we're drinking

right now my brain is almost plugging in because you're used to there being a liquor in the drink like a negroni so my brain is thinking like tim be careful with his drink because it's probably very boozy but it's really not yeah i gotta say i'm liking it a lot more now it's it's not even that melty look at it full glass maybe it's just your taste buds take a second to turn a little Italiano. Yeah, I was a little... I bet, you know, Jeff, I bet there's something to that. Your taste buds take a while to turn Italiano? The bitter taste is sort of a unique, extreme taste.

So your tongue doesn't get that very often. So when it gets a big dose of it, it goes, wait a minute, I don't like this, but I'll ease into it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And the bitter stuff in drinks, it's like, it's not meant to be so bitter that your mouth is like,

ooh, that's bitter. It's just supposed to bump up against your tongue a little bit, you know? Just a little nudge. Hey, wait a second. I'm not going down smooth. Don't forget me. I'm challenging. A soft elbow right in your ribs.

Hey. Hi. Like when you're at a concert and the music's too loud and someone who you're supposed to be meeting there sidles up next to you and just pokes you a little bit and says, I'm here. Yes. Good.

Oh, yeah. And when I say concert, I mean like a, you know, string quintet type of thing. So it's not the type of place where you go, I'm here, dude. Another situation could be like it's 2004. Mike Hanford's at a Yeah Yeah Yeah show in LA and there's a guy giving him an evil eye the whole night and scaring the hell out of him.

Then I give him a nudge, but it ain't so much a soft one. It ain't in the ribs. It's a five knuckle nudge to the fucking head of them. Then I give him a nudge, but it ain't so much a soft one. It ain't in the ribs. It's a five knuckle nudge to the fucking head. Yeah, yeah. Boom! You cops, stop looking at me! Hey, what was that?

Mike, you had a thing about punches. It was a trip to the planetarium. Booze, you're seeing stars! A five knuckle nudge. That's funny, though. Yeah, that's a five knuckle nudge. What would you like? A five knuckle nudge. That's funny, though. Yeah, that's a five knuckle nudge. What would you like? A five knuckle nudge or a trip to the planetarium?

Your choice. I got two fists. I got two tickets waiting for you. God, I got to get more fights. I'll echo Jeff in saying this is getting better as it's here. Yeah, well, you came in guns a-blazin'. I knew I wouldn't like this drink, he said. Yeah.

Well, there's certain expectations I have to live up to per my ACAS contract that I have to be the guy who is disagreeable with the drinks. Bitter guy, calls bitter ashy. What's been going on with your helicopter lately we've decided to sort of not even talk about that much anymore it's the numbers the numbers on gale watch are in and it's not so good it did it serve its purpose it's set up we just needed it to set up a blowout we did that done it, man. Let me ask you this.

Do you guys feel it's early evening right now? This is your first drink of the night. First of many. You're having an aperitivo. I feel like appropriately the buzz is slowly tiptoeing in. It's not like, hey, I just got out of work and bow i'm blasting a martini and my face turns red and i get all sweaty like this came out of nowhere i'm tiptoeing into the evening and then i would have my dinner and then i'd blast a couple martinis to the dome you know so there still is the option of getting blasted off martinis is still there still on the

table there's no way of getting that off the table. It's very difficult to avoid. It's inevitable, but this is a gentler takeoff. Yes, it's a gentle takeoff, and I like that. That's what I like about the Aperol Spritz. I'll have it by a pool sometime, and I'll say, I'm tiptoeing in. I'm not going to drown in this pool.

I'm just going to have a nice buzz. But I'm going to lay down in it have any of no the none of the three slobby boys have ever been to italy can you believe that no no i'm i'm severely under traveled for a guy my age you gotta go to italy have you been no no no maybe mike you and i chip in we send jeff to italy what do you think we'll bring bring your camcorder jeff and come back and show us everything i like the idea of the old days when people would come back from a vacation and give a slideshow to their friends yeah it's like a trope in like garfield or something be like oh john's boring slideshows after all these vacations that that feels like a thing that comes up in ah, shit,

what's the... The Farside comic. Yes. It's like cows and scientists and showing people your movies. Or your slideshows. That'd be fun. I'd like to see somebody's slides. What a funny dated trope

that is that doesn't exist anymore. Because that was always the thing It was like fruitcake Because it would be like Oh the thing that you do with the social thing But nobody likes it And they gotta sit through it That was a Garfield strip for sure

That was like Everyone's re-gifting fruitcakes Christmas year after year Who even bought the original fruitcake I don't know that I've ever eaten a fruitcake. Blowout. Good blowout. I think I've had some fruitcake before. It's almost like

gummy... It's kind of like gummy dried fruit. Gumdrops or something. You know what I would put in there? You know what I would put in there. Mike, I'll give you one guess. Lime. Fucking weed, man. Sourpatch. For after the weed. Actually, lime and weed sound pretty good, too.

So Jeff's fruitcake recipe is lime, weed, and Sour Patch Kids. Lime. Lime. Showing the slides after vacation reminds me of a time and i think maybe i've only seen this on tv shows i've never had to me in real life but you going to a party for someone like a bon voyage party like hey you're going to hawaii

we're throwing you a party before you leave that's funny yeah that's like something that would happen on cheers or whatever yeah yeah We're finally going on a cruise. Oh, we got to throw a bon voyage party for you. I love that. I want to go and smash a bottle of champagne on the bow of a boat and say, have a good one. You know what would be funny is if we throw ourselves a bon voyage party so all of our friends come and throw us a party,

but then we don't leave and we stay and we have to be incognito, and we stay hidden for a week. How about this for a Sloppy Boys movie? We just go town to town to have Bon Voyage parties. It's like, hey, Bon Voyage, we're going to Pasadena. Now we're going to Santa Anita. We have a party up there. Now we're going to Santa Anita.

We have to keep kind of inviting people from the last Bon Voyage party. How would this work? Because we need to each new place we go to, we need to have people who would care enough to be at the party. You got to make friends for a few months. Join social clubs. Get a poker game going. That would be good.

You know, that scam reminds me of a funny travel prank. You guys know famed comedy editor Mike Giambra of Abso-Lutely Studios? Yes. Yes, yes. Great. Hilarious guy. Great editor for all your favorite shows, you know, in the kind of the Nathan Fielder's and the Tim Heidecker shows and stuff like that. The Birthday Boys pilot. And the Birthday Boys pilot. Got that thing picked up. No problem.

Real quick. I remember like we all turned to Mike and said, you got that picked up real quick, didn't you? It was the quickest pickup ever in network history. It was a quick pick. it was the quickest pickup ever in network history um he did a funny thing a few years ago do you remember where he he went on a he went on a cruise by himself like three days but he took a lot of selfies where he was just looking sad on the boat and then he just when he got back from a three-day cruise he just kind of kept posting the selfies for like months and i followed him on instagram i'd be like you okay man what's going on it was just like him looking seasick on

a boat for like half a year but you know so he never he just so the joke was that he like was still out there on this uh yeah the joke was just like how long has this guy been on this boat that's good yep that's good That's a good Vacation prank And if you have A vacation prank Mail it in to Sloppyboysvacaypranks At gmail.gmail

Yeah when you say Mail it in You Do the prank Do the prank And then Then you kind of Write it up

And mail it in Yeah write up a description Of what you did Okay Send away for it. I'm not going through a half a year's worth of selfies. Capisce. Absolutely understood.

Capisce. What do you say we take another break and we do a round two? And when we come back, I want to taste the ingredients as is. Whoa, okay. Because I can't picture what sweet red vermouth tastes like. It's kind of good. It tastes a little bit like a Luxardo cherry. A little bit like cherry hearing. Me like you.

Okay, cool. I'll do that. I'll get my stuff too. Yeah, bring your raw ingredients to the pod. Love it. Folks, see you in a bit. bit and we're back with campari and wally pratt my campari does have a little sugar around the top jay yeah right um and mine mine i don't know how to say this. Noir-y pra. I don't know. It's French. It's my vermouth.

Wait, what's your Campari look like? My Campari's the standard. The gold standard. It's the brand, yeah. Campari's Campari, right? Okay. Campari's Campari. What do we sip first?

Campari? Oh, my red vermouth? Dolan. Dolan. Hell yeah. All right, let's sip a little campari all right just going to the dome wasn't uh dolan the name of a fake president in a birthday boy sketch like yeah craig dolan craig doland oh yeah they made us change it to doland do you remember that because there was a

dolan in at ifc and ifc was like, hey, could you change Dolan? And we said, we'll change it to Dolan. And they said, okay. And what a weird. Perfect. Weird. Alright, so this is the Campari. Yep. Very bitter. I understand why we water it down. Tim, you brought Campari to a party famously, right?

Yep. Campari to a party. Campari. He'll bring Campari to a party famously, right? Yep. Campari to a party. Campari. Campari to the party. Yeah, at the time, at the time, I didn't really know that you don't really, it's not a party starter. It's sort of a, people don't like it, but I was drinking Campari on the rocks all night saying, has anyone tried this? Okay. Vermouth. Just a little Okay. Vermouth.

Just a little sip. Vermouth. Ugh. Smells bad. It does smell bad. Yeah, it's like whiny. Not bad. I'm going to be whiny in a second after I try this.

See, mine's good. Mine is Antica Resetta Vermouth Preggato antica formula vermouth is giuseppe b carpano hey i lied it's giuseppe carpano not giuseppe campana wait a second let me look back at my notes when i was describing the drink did i say giuseppe campari. No, Gaspar Campari. Not Giuseppe Carpano. Gaspar Carpani. It was Gaspar Carpani. Now, my Campari says David Campari. That's not Gaspar.

Yeah, that's what mine says, too. I'm going to be having nightmares about Gaspar Campari and Giuseppe Carpano. Where are you seeing this name? On my vermouth. Yeah. David Campari here. Giuseppe Carpano. Where are you seeing this name? Oh. On my vermouth. Yeah. David Campari Milano. Jesus.

I still don't know how I feel about this vermouth. Yeah, the vermouth is crazy. I will say that. I've had sweet vermouth, red vermouths I absolutely hate, but this brand is utterly delicious, just a little too sweet on its own. You know, you ever have like a beef stew that has a lot of red wine in it? Yeah, I love that.

I bet that would be good with this Dolan I got here. Because it kind of tastes like that. It's a good idea to get through your vermouth. We all know this shit's just going to rot in your fridge. May as well make a big beef stew. Make a stew. Make a stew. Hey, have you heard about that drink that's half Coca-Cola, half red wine?

Yes, never heard. Oh, yeah. We should do that sometime. That's a Spain thing, right? Yeah. We'll do it for tomorrow's episode. Actually. I mean, next week's episode.

Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all. Okay, what are your final thoughts? Spill them. I'm just drinking club soda now and ice and the remains of my original. So you'd hated it, you liked it, and you're back to you don't care.

This is not an order again for me, but I might order it again. Okay. Wow. I thought I hated it when I first took a sip of it, and then it grew on me. But I'm probably not going to order it again, but I might. You will. I mean, how many years you got ahead of you you think you

know you gotta you gotta sort of wonder that's true it's one of those things where i can i can't imagine my uh being in the mood for one of these but if i was i would order it again i mean life is long and i think when we say order again or not, we should be like, if I knew I only had one year left on this planet, would I have this again? If you had one day to live, would you drink an Americano? Yes. That would be pretty sad if you drank anything, really. Because I feel like if I was like, oh, my God, I got one day to live. I'm going to go to my liquor cabinet and get drunk.

Then I wouldn't remember the next 23 hours. You know, you kind of I'd want to to be stone sober and soak up all that lifetime okay and i hate talking about the lifetime channel that would be pathetic if i had 24 hours to live and i watched the lifetime channel see i would i would kind of lean into that do a thermos of americanos and just watch lifetime for the till i fade out just try and disassociate yeah this is not an order again for me the best part is the garnish a big hunk of orange and the club soda splash um jeff how does it stack up to the aperol spritz for you you know i don't like any of them. Plain and simple.

So no stacking. There's no stacking. No, there's no stack. It's a horizontal stack heading right for the trash. It's a line. Wasn't there a sitcom starring Pam Anderson, and she was a librarian, and it was called Stacked? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Was that Pam Anderson? Huh. Had to be Fox, right? Yeah. Yeah, it better be. Maybe it was PBS. Anderson? Huh. Had to be Fox, right? Yeah. Yeah. It better be. Is it? Maybe it was PBS. How funny that Fox is,

is, is like, we're a little bit raunchier than the other networks. We can't actually say any bad words, but we're a little bit raunchier. We're going to suggest a little harder. Tim, what are your thoughts,

man? Um, I like it. I'm quiet over there, Tim. I like it. I prefer be quiet over there, Tim. I like it. I prefer the Negroni, right? Because I'm a Negroni fan.

Sure. So let's say it's a sunny Italiano day, and I'm seated out at a cafe, and everyone's kind of walking by. Hey, Kalapakis, we, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, I would have this. If it's too early for a negroni i would have an americano and i would thank you for it is it a bruncher um yeah maybe it's it's like a instead of if everyone's getting aperol spritzes and i say i want something else that's bubbly and has an orange slice in it, but I don't want it to be too sweet because this is less sweet than a spritz.

You know, instead of Aperol, it's Campari and it's soda. Yeah, I like it. I'll drink it again. And I'm going to keep it in my mind specifically as a way of getting through my vermouths and my Campari's, which tend to be two things that I get stuck with. Yeah. The two things you don't want to drink,

you put them together and you make something to drink. Yeah. And you just kind of hold your nose and you just try to suck it down. Just get through it. That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also check us out on Patreon where subscribers can unlock the Sloppy Boys Blowout, our weekly bonus episode.

Wow. That show is cool. And hey, while you're at it, come check us out on tour, live in the flesh. This weekend, East Coast. Because we're a band first and foremost. We'll talk to you later, folks. Bye, folks. Bye.