The Sloppy Boys - 83. Kalimotxo

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

The guys mix red wine and Coke for a festive refresher from the Basque region of Spain.KALIMOTXO RECIPE3oz/90ml Red Wine3oz/90ml Coca-ColaAdd red wine (preferably Spanish and dry) and Coca-Cola into a highball glass over ice. Garnish with lemon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. And Tim Kalpakis. Oh, very good. That's good. You're resonating nicely. That's great. And Tim Kalpakis. Na, na, na, na, what is up? Oh, very good. That's good. You're resonating nicely. That's great. We are coming back from our first official vocal lesson as a band.

We aced it. We have to resonate from the nasal cavity. Yes, your sigh smile, folks. Wee! Oh, yes, yes. That, yes, good, folks. Whee! Oh, yes, yes. Yes, good. Great. If we sound like professional vocalists,

do not adjust your set. The vocalist was a jokalist? That vocalist was a jokalist. That's what people are going to say to us when we perform. See, I'm going to see Tim backstage doing his vocal warm-up sounding like Elmo. But I know when he hits on that stage, Cookie Monster, baby. My intention is to do all the show as Miss Piggy.

Well, how was everyone's day? You know, I had a, I made, what did I have? I made some really good rice and chicken today. I couldn't believe it. It tasted great. Rice and chicken. Did you have any corn or cheese? No, just rice and chicken.

Rice with butter, fried chicken. Oh, wow. Just rye cheese. Rye cheese. When you said rice and chicken, I was picturing a boring meal, but then you make it fried and with butter i was gonna say um there's there's kind of a viral post from a duane the rock johnston who johnson or johnston johnston johnston johnson no johnson johnson john snow john snow i think it's just johnson johnson johnson

johnson this is this is the number one biggest movie star on Earth. He had a funny, not funny, stupid post a few years ago where he was on a private jet and he was eating chicken and rice. And he's looking at the camera like, ah. And he's like, the caption is like, just laughing, thinking about here I am eating chicken and rice. You see this stuff back when I was a kid. It's just that thing of like, you know, when someone's a fucking moron and they have no brain and they're like,

Oh yeah, that's funny. And you're like, well, this has a million. And, and these read the replies and people like yeah man keep going keep eating that rice and that chicken rice that chicken two of the most popular foods in the whole world

good for you good for you you know what could have used some chicken was my lunch today let me tell you about the lunch i did i did my usual not usual, I don't do this every day, but my new angel hair spaghetti with the chip dip. Alfredo. Yeah, oh, chip dip. Yep, the onion chip dip Alfredo. And I put in it as well peas. I put peas right into it. Damn, Mike.

Now, you're kind of. You know how to make it sound not so good bring a lot of things together now because I would say like topped with pepper we all know alfredo sauce usually goes with a fatter noodle but you're going angel hair

but you're not using alfredo sauce you're using dip so now I want to say it's becoming more of a like a cacio-y pepper no that wouldn't be all uh creamy like that but then here's what throws me about the peas there are dishes with peas in them right uh yeah i just can't think of it uh fucking carbonara there you go in there and and uh piccata has a um caper yeah okay is a caper. Yeah. Okay. Is a caper a pea?

No. No. Be honest with me. Okay. Is a caper a pea? Be honest with me. Ooh. I'd say we send that over to Lin-Manuel for his next project.

I hear him looking at the lines. The confusing cook. Hey, go back to the rock. Was that a good pasta dish or was it bad? It was good. Wait, did you have a point to make about it? No, I lost steam during it because I was going to kind of dunk on you for using peas instead of capers. And then I said that carbonara has peas.

And I personally love peas. I get them when I'm at Rao's. They got pancetta in the peas and it's really good. get them when i'm at rayo's they got pancetta in the peas and it's really good so i think that you are smart and good you you thank you you like peas just in general just straight up peas um i i can't say that i i bought some during the pandemic were they was it a frozen bag or a can no it's a can because i thought you know we're all Was it a frozen bag or a can? No, it was a can because I thought, you know, we're all giving out the remains of our days.

Why 2K? Because we can't can't can't. But I only eat peas au naturel. I don't put them in a sauce. You've got to get a little fat on them. I need to put them in something. I don't just love peas by themselves. Pea soup with a little ham in there? Nah, not really.

Not really. I think I... I need to put it in with an Alfredo sauce. Well, yeah, chip tip. Maybe I told you guys that one time I was eating at my beloved Rayo's, the LA location, and I ordered

a bunch of, you know, I said, you know, meatballs and carbonara and, you know, veal parmesan. And then I looked at the guy and said, you know, does that seem like a good... I always like to say that. Does it seem like a good amount of table for the food, for the table? Should I add something?

So I asked him his take. What do you think? Is that anything else I should get? And he goes, maybe a vegetable. Oh, yeah. That's when you pivot to, hey, I didn't ask you, buddy. I was asking you about the amount

of plates on the table, not about my health. I will eat vegetables at my own discretion. So he shamed me. And maybe one other dinner guest, sir. But I the shame worked and I said, oh, yeah yeah i'll have the peas and then the peas

came out and they were great and now i always sounds like a panic order they're porky fatty peas over there they're really good porky fatty peas also that was uh the feedback i got back from my urologist last visit oh god oh this this kind of hit it fell into my brain there as we were it? You've been having some perky fatty peas. Oh, God. This kind of hit and fell into my brain there as we were talking about The Rock and his posts. You know, like popular posts. You know when people say, we joke around about

saying something is living rent-free in your head? That's sort of a... What would you call that? Like Twitter talk? It's just like the way people talk on... You know what I would call it? What? Chuggy. Chuggy talk.

All right, we'll go with that. Yeah, I used to call it like, this isn't the term for it, but I think it should be. Community chest. Are you familiar with the community chest? It's just like little jokey turns of phrase that everybody can be funny with. And don't use community chest. You want to go for chance. Yeah, you want chance. Chance or ever.

Was chance the other pile of cards in Monopoly? Yeah, yeah. But it's like, you know, you're basically quoting, you know, anytime you're like, my wife or... But you're like quoting the internet, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's up for grabs. Anybody can use it

My wife is from a movie that now people are using a ton in general Which is a weird thing But I got a new one, Jeff Take the lock off the community chest And I got one for you to put in Okay Mike, I'm excited to hear what it is Because I am so here for it

Yes What would you Also the clapping between stuff. Anyway, this one is like... Not normal. Jeff, say like, oh yeah, I put peas in my Alfredo sauce. I put peas in my Alfredo sauce. Jeff, who hurt you?

Yeah. Hey, you know what's great? Who damaged you? The Workaholics guys had a post where they had a list of things that they wouldn't say on their show. It was like, these are outlawed in the writer's room. And it was like, you know, because of the time, it was like, so that just happened. Stuff like that. That's good.

You know what's one I like? It's harder. You know, usually you identify these and you're like, eek, that's a new one that that's good um you know what's one i like it's harder you know usually you identify these and you're like where's that's a new one that's been bothering me i noticed one that i like can you believe that i'm more about positivity than you guys it's it's fine if you want to be so cynical but um oh yeah yeah i i see the things you say about a certain uh I see the things you say about a certain spiky-haired ex-wrestler actor. The Rock? Continue to. No, I should talk John Cena online, but I should talk The Rock here today in 4K.

Yeah, you're getting some real big boys on your bad side. I'm a bad guy, but, well, you know what's kind of funny is that recently John Cena followed Scott Ackerman on Twitter, and we think that he was tracking down my friends. Yeah, of course. They're killing people. I have to watch my mouth. I should watch my mouth. He followed Mookie on Sunday.

I saw it happen. Wait, for real? Yes, for real. So he did then, right? I got banned. I threatened John Cena, and I told him if he sets foot in Los Feliz, I'm going to suplex his chubby ass. And I got booted off Twitter for a day,

and then he followed two of my friends. I wonder who else he followed. Not me. I didn't mean to start real trouble. To me, the joke is that he's a wrestler, and to me, the joke is me thinking I could beat him up. But I think i sort of got lost at some point along the way oh you know you didn't beverly mysterious or when the

oh yeah pants did it who knows who these people what they're what i was gonna tell you i was gonna tell you my community chest line that i like yeah hit me uh my brother in christ you seen that one oh yeah i mean like that where do you draw the line? Because some of them are just funny memes. Right. Wait, how would you use that? Oh, boy, let's see. Jeff, how would you use that? It would be like...

It's like when you have to, like, break it to somebody that something is their own fault or something, or they're like, I don't like this, and you're like, My Brother in Christ, and you kind of, like, tell them the hard news that... Yeah, so it's usually, like, the top line will be, like, a question mark, like, you don't like that them the hard news that yeah so it's usually like the top line will be like a question mark like you don't like that my brother in christ i'm explaining that you do actually like that or whatever or it's like my brother in christ you married her that that sort

of thing i think i like that one better because the ones i tend not to like like the who who hurt you or who uh living that's like sitcom chit chat well it feels like it feels like uh psych therapy talk or something oh yeah a little bit i'll tell you which is fine therapy is important good to do but for some reason i don't like it better help absolutely sure it's a wonderful oh my god better how do you gotta go to betterhelp.com get over there right now rent free in your head was like that was just a phrase that like i'd heard that for years that doesn't feel like a new thing but now yeah it's got it's got the new tinge of an annoying internet little community chest thing i don't know but i love i love saying

this always this just this sure this just this I'm just going to leave this here. Wait, Tim. You were just saying something about... I lost the chance, but I had a real good thing going. You were saying something right before you said what your thing, the John Cena thing. More power. Hey, pigs. Hey, pay pigs.

Shout out to the pigs. Hey, that's pay pigs here. We'll remember it. I was going to make a point about another piece of thing I wanted to add to Communichess that I liked, but I guess that'll have to be saved for another week. I got one more thing about the wrestlers. You know, he was The Rock, and then he did movies, and he was The Rock, The Rock, and then eventually he's like, I'm Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Yeah. And I thought that he was going to just transition to Dwayne Johnson. Hasn't happened yet. Hasn't he? And then you got guys like, I think he's still, I don't know. Maybe he has. I wonder if it's like for whatever movie, like if he's doing something like that Michael Bay weightlifting movie, it's just like he's Dwayne Johnson because he's like...

It's a smaller movie. But then if he's doing a big, huge thing, put The Rock in there so more people know about it. Yeah, I'm looking up the Jumanji 2 poster and it just says Dwayne Johnson. So I guess he's transitioned. But then you got guys coming up in wrestling

with names like John Cena. Doesn't have to change anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's kind of funny to me that, like, you used to have, like, oh, there's The Undertaker, and there's this guy, and this guy just goes around as John Cena. And it's also kind of funny that a rapper can be named Jack Harlow. Like, these guys just sound like guys at a business somewhere. Yeah, yeah. You sound like guys at a business somewhere.

Yeah, yeah. That is funny that a lot of rappers have stage names. I guess you do that with a band would have a stage name, but there's more people in it. But if it's just one person, you have a show name. Yeah, I think our stage name is the Sloppy Boys. Right. But it's interesting.

Okay, okay. So a lot to digest there. Much like an angel hair and pee and chip dip lunch, much to digest. I had something to say to you, Tim. I think the joke with the John Cena thing is that you are even talking about him. Like anything you would say, he's a superstar, and anything like a threat you would say to that guy,

A, wouldn't happen because he's a big, huge guy. Wouldn't reach him, yeah. But B, wouldn't reach him. So it's like you're just screaming out, oh, if you ever, John Cena, I'll get you. Right. It's too real when you think about the fact that Nicole Byer works with him and that he's in comedy movies. And there's, to me, it's an empty threat from a dinky dude.

I said, if you set foot in Los Feliz, I'm going to suplex you. I don't know how to suplex anyone. And Los Feliz is a dorky place. It's a place where TV writers live. It's not a place where wrestlers go for fights. Right. It's like a threat to somebody who like, not even a

threat, but you know what I mean. It's like somebody who's not even capable enough to do anything. Well, hey. You know what I mean. Well, hey. Tim, just promise me if you ever do meet him, which seems

more likely by the day, don't go back on your, you know, stick to your guns. Suplex him? No, don't. You don't have to suplex him. Suplex his chubby ass all the way back to Meathead Hell? Jesus, cool boy. But don't do that thing where like, you know, there's always people who talk shit at like podcasters or something. And then as soon as the podcaster's like, hey, dude, saw that thing, they're like,

oh, sorry, man, I didn't think you'd see this. I love the show. I've been such a fan for a long time. Don't backpedal. Okay, here's what I'll do. You video on your phone. I just walk up to it. I fight him, and I don't...

I don't... I'm not going to sucker punch him. I'm going to challenge him to a wrestle. I'm saying don't. You and me outside. Because I want to pile drive him. I want to get him upside down. I know.

His head goes between my thighs and boosh, my weight goes back. And I crack his, honestly, crack his. See, I think if you get in a fight with him, that's going to happen to you. That's what I worry about. I don't think you have the. What weight class is he in? I don't even think that matters. I think the technique he knows the technique i've never seen you do anything like that he's a fake haired freak and you know it oh shit so now you're okay that's the guns i'm talking about sticking to i don't i don't care about the the comic violence

of it all i just don't want you to be a nice guy because you are a nice guy yeah and he comes away from that thinking that he's not one of the worst things ever to happen to come oh yeah well here's i guarantee what happens when i meet we i will meet him it'll be like yeah me i know at a premiere he's in the movie i'm a plus one i look across the room and i go that that's him over there. And end of interaction. Well, what if I would think maybe you're his plus one? That'd be nice. Oh, that would be a twist. I would honestly love that. You've met through the internet.

Sometimes Twitter brings people together in beautiful ways. And you become friends and you go to all those movie premieres. His wife doesn't want to go to those anymore. John Cena has 13 million followers. How the fuck did he see my hateful comments well how many times have you tweeted at him 50 we talked yeah there you go over three years targeted tagging him made fake headlines and posted them on Instagram

that made it look like I had beaten him in a fight. Well, what do you say we get into some Pooh's news? Yes! And if you have a blowout theme, make sure it's actually good. Good. If it's a good pizza. I love all God's foods.

Put whatever you want on your pizza. All God's foods. Put whatever you want on your pizza. All God's foods. Put whatever you want on your pizza. All God's foods. I can do the intro, probably. All God's Foods, you perfect, lovely people. Ooh.

What did I say at the end there? That was great. I can do the intro? Okay. All God's Foods. That was really good. Well, Whatever You Want by tom tierney and if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com that was good that was

a really good one you know that reminded me of there was a jeff you might know what this is called but like an era of music that let's say the mid to late 90s that is just kind of there's a song called little Fluffy Clouds. Do you remember that? No. By this band called Orb. And it's just kind of like some light techno with some repeating phrase over and over again,

but kind of like chopped up a little bit. Okay. But it's kind of what that was. It's just sort of like this echoey strumming stuff with found audio clips. Is that like the sunscreen song? No, but that kind of seems... It's like a speech more than a song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. That kind of fits in the same thing I'm talking about. I like that we were slowed down into like a weird Benadryl haze. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like the pause between whatever Tim was saying and then pizza. Did you see that somebody online sent us a kind of a vapor wavy version of Tom Collins

that was kind of like taped, slowed down? Tim, you got to post it. I retweeted it. Was this like a year ago, maybe? No. Recently. Recently? Oh, shit. Yeah, within the last couple months, and it sounded really cool.

Go on to YouTube and check it out. Okay. Cool, man. Okay, booze news. Guys, spring has long sprung. We're getting towards summer. It's time for here at booze news for us to start putting the feelers out. Start tracking our annual main goal of the summer is to determine the drink of the summer.

Okay. Right. Yeah. Over on Patreon, we talked about the song of the summer because we're musicians. Here on the cocktail pod, we talk about the song of the summer because we're musicians here on the cocktail pod we talk about the drink of the summer um now i have made a note of some articles um you know lots of people spit off a bunch of opinions all over the place but i noted three things that caught my attention these are headlines i'm running by you and then i want to get your early early predictions on what the summer

of 2022 will bring yeah grub street you know that's the food food blog of uh new york magazine uh they there's a headline wellness is dead long live the martini and it's about how uh following the the winter's sober curious movement yeah that's kind of crapping out. And the young people, people in their early 20s, especially in New York, are ordering tons and tons of martinis. And bartenders are noticing at non-martini bars that the martini is huge. Now, I think it's with good reason. Martini is maybe the best cocktail. Everyone should.

And I think this has kind of been brewing for a few years i mean i feel like the three of us got into martinis within the last five years or so but i'm noticing extra dirty martinis are pretty popular you guys seen this you heard about this jeffy style is that that's that's a new newish trend extra dirty not new but i feel like people that aren't martini drinkers are maybe getting into it by starting with the extra dirty. Right. And I'll hear people be like, oh yeah, like an extra dirty one.

Well, the martini drinker just wants alcohol. Like that's, the martini is one of the- Cold gin. That's a stiff drink. So if you're going to gussy it up, it's just more olive juice. I might make one of those instead of the drink of the day today. Hey. No, yeah, Mike, you were one of the first people in my life who was just like, I'm a martini guy.

I had maybe five times the martinis I would have had because I lived with you. Yeah. Well, they're pretty easy to make, and they're fun to make, and you put them in that cool glass. I feel like, Tim, what you're saying about the martinis primed to pop this summer feels maybe like, yeah, it's maybe run its course of just being a background drink, and it's ready to show up. Just people in the know. I would say that the strike it has going against it is i don't associate

it with summer it's it's a nighttime cocktail and um i do drink them in the summer but i drink them at at a nice bar i mean it's it's definitely the cocktail i've had the most in my life i've had thousands of them and i think that uh i don't really drink them in the summer so that would be interesting if if this keeps up all the way into the summer, what was last year's drink of the summer? We on this pod, was it a kind of espresso Martini? We kind of threw in the towel and said,

it's the various seltzers again. Yeah. We had two summers of like, that it was just like you, it was hard to deny that there was a, I guess it's not Aprilphrodisiacs before that um aphrodisiacs is like a 2019 thing and then last year we started talking about because there was absolutely 100 a mega boom in espresso martinis right and that has continued i expect that to

continue into this summer and i think that's a funny summer drink too but it's a funny one but it's about staying awake and we were just kind of saying we kind of wrapped it up on uh memorial day labor day weekend by saying like yes those martinis were huge but you just can't deny that like grocery stores were stacked with seltzers barbecues and pool parties where people were talking about seltzers still even if even had become a little passe it was still happening here's the thing about about summer drink of the summer is like yeah a cocktail could be it or like you're saying with barbecues and pool parties it's all just cans or bottles like no one's no one would whip up a espresso martini so you got two there should be a classification. Some are bar drink and some are poolside drink.

Well, let's say drink, but not cocktail. But just alcoholic beverage. There's not going to be anything like the boom we saw for seltzer, I think. Like as far as like a retail store thing. Or Aperol Spritz was definitive that it's like that's such a specific thing. And it had a mega moment, but you're not going to have one every year. I don't even think like,

I think the last cocktail I remember being a sensation was the Mojito. Like when we were new ish to LA, that was like the drink on everyone's lips was like, Oh, Mojito Mojito. I feel like right after that, man, I, I,

yeah. But the, the Knowles household, sure. But, um, like pre mad men, even I will. But i think that that that's we've we've said that mojitos are sort of a um ryan's secret kind of drink yeah and and trash mojitos trash the page turned definitively in

the culture at large in many ways and i think we land with the madman era and the the more of a highbrow trend coming in i felt like the old-fashioned the don draper old-fashioned yeah not blew that mojito to fucking in hell i haven't yeah what is this the second summer we've kind of done a when did the podcast start 2020 this is our second summer because second summer we've kind of done a how when the podcast start 2020 this is our second summer because second summer yeah we started in the fall yes um right that okay two more i want to say now here's a bit of an outlier but this is a trend and i have noticed this and might sound familiar to you punch you know punchdrink.com the cocktail blog there's a headline i read recently the totally unironic return of midori we know midori melon liqueur that electric green stuff um there's that it's very sweet and

it had been out of style for a long time but then like kim kardashian was like in the ads for a while but like it's associated more with that mojito scene and it's passe then it started to come back kind of ironically and then uh do you remember this article mentions masa the the guy we met at katana kitten in new york um there was a highball mike i ordered like their midori highball it's called the lemon lime soda and i loved it and it was like uh like their midori highball it's called the lemon lime soda and i loved it and it was like uh midori and and soda and i think that you know that's a kitschy place so there was a winkiness to that but now there's kind of the the irony is wearing off and there are people just honestly using midori and using it well so keep an eye out for that again yeah we gotta use some of that

weird shit also that brings to mind Hypnotic. That weird blue guy. The blue one, right? Yeah. Ooh, that'd be a fun one. Our friend Neil Campbell made a Midori cocktail for us that had a funny name. Remember it was Alien Hatton.

Because it made it with Halloween. Contest winner Neil. He's good. He's good. Ooh, that reminds me. Neil had a very good insight and I'm going to check in with him about something. We should have him host

one of these sometime. We take the week off and Neil can host. Yeah. Have at it, Nealer. Next, third and final article. This one, this was the one

that really got me and raised my eyebrow because I think we're on board with this. The Vice YouTube show, Chef's Night Out, did an episode recently set in New York where a group of Chinatown chefs, they call themselves the Shy Boys, and they meet up after their restaurant shifts and they go out in Chinatown. They eat Chinese food all night long. And what do they order? Long Island iced teas. Interesting. run shifts and they go out in chinatown they eat chinese food all night long and what do they order long island ice teas interesting and it started off you know like they know that that's a funny order but they love them and then now there is a trend where it's like making fancy ones you

really using tea or whatever i'm not so into that because i think you're kind of the whole point of a lot of fun to embrace yeah but we liked that drink when we had it with gabrus last summer and it does go well with chinese food in in a weird way and i could imagine this being a summer where we're lounging that would be in the hamptons with our long islands truly after two years of lockdown if not now when is the Long Island iced tea going to be the sensation of the nation? Everybody pounding them all summer. Remind me what was in all, and that was a lot of stuff. What was... All of the

clear liquors and triple sec and a splash of Coke. So what's that? Vodka and gin and rum? Yep. Tequila? I'll tell you right now exactly what it is. Tequila, vodka, white rum, gin. Jesus.

Also. I forgot about the tequila. Yo. Triple sec, lemon juice, syrup, and cola. Wow. That's a lot. Pretty wild. Well, this should be an exciting summer, Tim.

I can't wait to see what comes out on top. Slap heads, keep your eyes peeled. And if you see something say something Is that it for booze news? Wrap it up Wow Do you know what that sounds from? Anyone?

No It's a little plumber man Luigi Close Jumping into a painting in Mario 64. Okay. The drink of the day. Luigi? No, his brother.

Luigi. Mario Mario. Oh, didn't he just say Mario? I said Wario. All I know is Toad is 32 years old. That's so funny. The drink of the day. Calimocho.'ve had cali mocho you've heard no i've not had i have heard but not under that name i've heard of coca-cola and red wine yeah i know it from the vampire weekend song uh flower moon flower moon sacred sign sign. Coca-Cola and red wine.

Cali Mocho? Yeah. So it's spelled, the quote-unquote correct spelling, K-A-L-I-M-O-T-X-O. Whoa. But it's sort of more kindly spelled as Cali, like California. M-O-C-H-O. Cali Mocho. The X doesn't get trotted out very often.

No. Unless it's an X-ray or xylophone. This is a drink that appeared as early as the 1920s, but it didn't have a name until the 1972 Puerto Viejo Festival in the Basque region of Spain. This is a big old festival. They got a bunch of drinks for everybody. Bunch of red wine. We should go to that festival. Only problem is, that red wine didn't taste so good.

So, just like we've heard on many of the drinks on this pod, they mask it with the syrupy sweetness of a drink like Coke. Like the Socky Bomb kind of story we just heard about having bad Socky. Like the Socky Bomb and then like the pirate drink. Wasn't there like a pirate drink that was just, they smothered it in syrup and lemon? Oh, we got to remember to do Talk Like a Pirate Day. Shit!

Did we miss it? Hold on, when did that... Mike's glasses flew up over his head and then landed back down on his nose. I think we looked it up last fall. September 19th. We have time. Yeah, well, hold on. My mom's birthday is September 20th, so that's gonna be kind of a busy time for me. Okay, well, hold on. My mom's birthday is September 20th, so that's going to be kind of a busy time for me.

Okay, well, shit. When do you usually make your happy birthday mommy video? Is that the day before? On the 18th. Oh, okay. So, great. You'll do it on the 18th, edit it in a pirate voice, and then send it to her on the 20th. Great.

Now, Jeff, why was the wine bad? You know, I don't know. It was maybe just poor quality or left out in the sun. It was just storage problems. It wasn't selling, you know? You got to sell, sell, sell. You're going to run that festival.

And two friends named Calamaro and Mocho saved the day, and they named it after them. I also, though, heard that Calamaro was the guy who saved it, and mocho means ugly. And since he was an ugly guy, they made a clever little portmanteau. We should call this the Mocho Boys podcast. I kind of prefer the ugly definition, the ugly origin. That's funny.

Yeah, and also it's like an ugly drink. Ugly guy making, using bad wine. Putting lipstick on a pig. Yeah. That's good. You know, what's funny is this drink sounded vaguely familiar to me. But then when you talk about the Basque, are you guys familiar with Basque culture? Because I was not.

I'm familiar with Bisque culture, but that's more of a restaurant. That's more of a lobster soup culture. Yeah um i love the lobster soup please so um i remember maybe five six years ago i didn't i never heard of it and then um our our old friend janelle who worked on comedy bang bang like posted an instagram of like i love basque food and she was like in utah or something and posted a picture and i was like what's this food and she's like it's basque and then okay and then i had a run-in because i went to i me and my high school friends got together in boise idaho randomly and there's a big basque population there and i learned all about it and here's what it is it's this part of spain that's kind of right on the border of spain and france and it's almost like its own

food its own music its own style address that isn't just it's not france or spain it's kind of its own thing with it does just doesn't have like its own country and a lot of wines yeah a lot of wines a lot i mean a lot of overlap with spanish stuff in general but what's interesting about the food is there was a randomness in boise i ate a bunch of basque food and i loved it but like the table and this is why janelle's instagram caught my eye it'll be like a big a plate like a big plate of fish and then a big plate of spaghetti and a big plate of french fries and like it to me it was sort of like what is those don't go together what are you doing you know like paella and like hot dogs or

something it was like all kind of all over the place and uh now and i liked it but when you say coca-cola and red wine it kind of goes it has a similar sort of like hey fries are good spaghetti's good we'll put them all together why not yeah it's a weirdo fusion mashup i like it kind of i'm excited to see how it tastes the taste is what i'm excited about i'm excited about the taste and then also it going into the summer people maybe the people who don't like martinis are still on that low alcohol kick and they want to cut their wine with some soda yeah because i don't think of red wine as a summer drink but i do think of coca-cola as a summer drink yeah i like a chilled red wine in the summer well here's the uh recipe that i

dug up it's a simple one equal parts add red wine preferably. Okay, I'm leaving that. How many of these calamochas have you had? Zero. Add red wine, preferably Spanish and dry, and Coca-Cola into a highball glass over ice. Garnish with lemon. So I saw three ounces and three ounces, but, you know, equal parts. Fill your glass. Hey, I like that, and I'll tell you why. I think a

serving of wine is like three to four ounces, right? So you're kind of getting a whole glass of wine, so maybe this isn't so low alcohol after all. Wait, Jeff, did you say it's the wine and Coke on ice? Yes. Ice, okay. And did I say

garnish with lemon? I hope I did. I don't have a lemon. But you're saying it now, loud and clear. It's nice to give it a little something, because the Cuba Libre comes alive because of that lime. Yeah, but the Cuba Libre also has lime squeezed in. Well, you know I'm going to do a little squeeze. You better not. Why not?

Because I'll kill you. I don't want to end up like Cena. Drop kicked and pile drived. Well, what do you say? You want to do it? Yep. Yes, I do. Folks, we'll see you back here after the ads.

Toodle-oo-ski. And we're back with Cali Mochos. Let's see them. There you go. Mike went with the wine glass. Me and Jeff got the highball glasses going. I've got two updates real quick. One, I just checked John Cena's Twitter. He follows lots of comedians,

so I don't think he's specifically after my friends. Second thing, Jessica saw me making this drink and said, Oh, you know who drinks those? Jess McKenna, who we all know of Off Book Pod and stuff like that. And I said, Really? Where do you think she learned about it? And Jessica said, Ash, on a Oh, why, where do you think she learned about it? And Jessica said, Ash on a Spain trip,

she got really into it. And then when she was back from Spain, she'd be ordering them at birds and everything. So there you go. I'll tell you a little something about Spain after we do our first sips. Great. Building a anticipation, Michael.

I'm going to be able to enjoy this. It's, you know, Here we go. Ooh, sangria! Yeah. Hmm, you don't practice sangria. Sangria vibes. Okay.

I didn't really stir mine. I don't practice sangria. I ain't got no Pepsi Coke. I'll take really stir mine. I don't practice sangria. I ain't got no Pepsi Coke. I'll take a Pepsi Coke. I didn't have dry Spanish wine, but I think I followed in the spirit of it because I used the oldest, dustiest red wine that I had that made the trip from my old apartment to my new apartment.

It was a Trader Joe's Cab Sauv. I'm giving mine a better stir here that's this is a good idea to stir it i gave it a stir i'm using a straw my wine i had it left i was there's a half a bottle of red wine there i was like where the fuck is this from and uh mike remember we were at dasano pizza i ordered a bottle of wine yeah i put the cap back on brought it home with me yeah here it is in my cali that's perfect tim because that was days ago yes a week ago oh yes that's the sort of see that's what you want to mask that sort of thing i got i got a cool i went to the liquor store today used the

company card and got myself a wine stayed pretty modest on price price, but it's from a famous person. Can you guess who the famous person is? No, no, no. Snoop. Oh, Snoop. Snoop Dogg. Yeah. Wow, wow. It's called 19 Crimes, Cali Red.

Love it. It's a 2020 Snoop Dogg. It was right next to his, or right next to Martha Stewart's. Are they in cahoots with this wine? Yes, they are. And they hosted that show together. They're friends.

Yeah. They've been friends for like 20 years. Right, but I didn't know the wine thing was part of their... She's been doing wine forever. He's new with that flavor. Did I tell you guys my Snoop and Martha Stewart story about their patter at the MTV Awards? No.

No. You told me they're a unique pairing, and I was like, no. Well, yeah, that's true. I was a writer on the MTV Awards. One of the several years I've done it, I was writing the presentation the presenter patter and i wrote some bit for uh martha stewart and snoop to do together they were had that cooking show at the time and i wrote some silly kind of calpy type of stuff and then i the head writer

said hey uh martha stewart's uh agent wants to talk to you, um, about this, uh, the, the, about the copy. And I was like, great. So I get on the phone, I call Martha Stewart's agent and she was like, okay, yeah,

we saw the script. Actually, I had an idea. Um, and so it's, it's basically, this is probably a huge high powered agent. I would assume it's like CAA and it's their biggest person.

And she goes, um, and I'm not going to push back. I'll, I'll do whatever I want them i want the presenters to be happy and comfortable um and the agent goes uh so i'm thinking what if they go out on stage and um martha says snoop this is really fun being here but afterwards i think we should bake some brownies and then snoop says yeah that i know what type of brownies that we should make.

And I was like, I had the thought. I was like, well, yeah. Like when I was writing this patter, I assumed that they've done that joke every episode of their show. I was trying to not write that joke. But what I said was, oh, that's great. And I typed it up and I put it in the teleprompter and i'm sitting in the room at the shrine auditorium when they perform this and like you know the mtv award's not a comedy show people are just wooing and they're not paying attention to the show or

we're looking forward to best kiss when that joke when snoop did that joke it got a huge laugh and the place went apeshit and it was a good lesson for the young writers out there. Just fucking give a big meatball. Just do the one. Just do it. Well, especially for an award show. I was just thinking about somebody in that position might be like, no, man, we're doing my joke.

This is a funner joke. But it's like, that's not what that show is all about. It's not about getting jokes. Yeah, I mean, we want the're doing my joke. This is a funner joke. But it's like, that's not what that show's all about. It's not about getting jokes out. Yeah, I mean, we want the show to play well. No one's going to be like, yeah, I'm really into satire. You know what got me into satire was this one joke that Martha and Snoop did midway through the show. It's like a revolving door of stars,

and you just want the stars to come out and say their character game and make way for the next star. When we wrote for the Emmys, the one Sandberg hosted, there were some like a lot of things that got in there that I was surprised got into an award show. It was like, I can't think of any specifics. I mean, because he was pushing for some of the cooler jokes. Yeah.

If you don't stand up for them, I think all the comedy gets cut. Right. And I was expecting like, okay, well, we'll write some pretty softball-y stuff. But he was wanting to get some good stuff on. You just hit hard with the monologue and then get out. Don't fight for your sketches or anything late in the show. And don't even bother doing those jokes where it's like, she's a this and he's a this. Please welcome, blah, blah.

You're not going to get a laugh there. Just put all your focus into act one so funny that the the agent you had to talk to the agent like uh the agent wants to talk to you oh my that almost seems like oh my god what the hell did i write i thought i was getting signed it's funny that the old mtv movie awards though were i did look forward to those when i was in like junior high and high school. Andy Dick videos were great. They were great. The ones where they would take the movie clips and people would be talking to them.

Yeah, like a Jimmy Fallon Star Wars mashup thing. That was great. Curse you, Tank Man. There was so many... There was a lot of Ben Stiller bits I remember being funny in there. Ben Stiller being the Mission impossible stuntman for Tom Cruise. And it was like Tom K, Tom C R U Z E or something.

That was funny. Yeah. There you go. Very good. Very good. Very good. Those years were produced by Joel Gallen. And then when Tiffany Haddish was hosting,

Joel Gallen was back. So it was sort of return of the Joel, you know, return. That's when Timmy started getting the phone call. It is. We're putting the team back together. Putting the team back together.

Make sure Tim's out of town. Remember all those billboards that said Gallen and Kalpakis? Yeah. I know both of you, and I still was like, what is that? What the fuck? Do you guys want to hear my Spain story? Yes. You have a Spain story? My Spain

story is short. I would like to one day visit Spain. I think it would be fun. Where? Barcelona? I think Barcelona. Madrid. I like the whole idea of Spain. I like the music. I feel like there's a lot of hot vibe on my yorker

huh what's that what about ibiza oh these are cities yes yes yes i want to go to the uh running of the bulls to watch pamplona pamplona pamplona what's the what's the maybe i think we've had this conversation before but what is the town is in sp in Spain or Italy where they have the tomato festival? Everyone's throwing tomatoes all around the city. It's funny that you say that because whenever I think of the Running of the Bulls, I also then think of the tomato one. Me too. The Running of the Bulls, the Throwing of the Tomatoes.

Yeah, I throw a tomato at the bull. If I did the Running of the Bulls, I would still dress up in the white suit with a red handkerchief and even from the side, cheer him on. Brunol? Brunol, maybe. B-U-N with a little El Nino over it and O-L. Buenol? I don't know.

Yeah. But is that spain the festival is called la tamatina and it's in spain michael oh perfect i hope oh my god the pictures are great it looks really fun it's not on talk like a pirate day is it because that oh wow the pictures are nuts are we double booked hold on i gotta look at this. Slow down. This would be such a great thing for us to do. The tomato festival is perfect. You know what it looks like is the opening scene in Blade,

where they're at the rave with the blood everywhere. People are just fucking soaked in tomato juice. Oh, man. Wow. Oh, shit, it's April, it's August 31st. We're going. Let's go this year. We'll have ACAS. Pay for it.

This festival has more tomatoes than Joe Pera's Instagram. Yes, yes. Very good. That's very good. This festival has more tomatoes than a Fozzie Bear stand-up set. Yeah. Guys, feel free to laugh. Jeff, if we go to this, we need to get a GoPro,

and we need a fucking waterproof case for it. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. You know what I'm bringing in my pockets is a little basil and a little moots. Yeah. Moots. Hey, Jeff, what are you doing over there? He's making margarita pizzas over there, you son of a bitch.

I just know we're going to go to this. We're going to have the best time. The first thing that happens, I'm going to get tomato pulp in my eye. I have a whole terrible day the whole time. Tomato pulp in the eye. Hey, here's the thing. Oh, shit, I can't relax. Doesn't tomato sauce get skunk smell out of Elaine's hair?

I've heard that as a technique is tomato sauce for skunk. Well, how about we get skunked for the Patreon show? We get skunked and then we go to the Tomatino. Yeah. Okay. What about the week in between? We fucking stink. What about the Flight

Well what do you say I packed my bags last night What do you say we make a second round We'll come back and we'll adjudicate this harshly Thoroughly I said I was going to say perfect And I said purrful Okay I think the drink is working

Folks See you on the other side. And we're back with our final thoughts on the Calamocho. Timothy? I love it. And I'll tell you why. I'm a sangria fan, and it's almost always too sweet for me and it has sugar and fruit and stuff and I'm wishing that

sangria could just chill out a little bit a lot of the time this is a cheapy poor man sangria get your cheapest red wine and a nice I use the Mexican coke this is a delicious treat it can't be beat nice do you want to hear my take here Jeff sure and Coke. This is a delicious treat. It can't be beat. Nice.

Do you want to hear my take here, Jeff? Sure. I don't like red wine. You know that. I drink it. I will drink it. I never go towards it. It never beckons me. This is a good drink. I will order again. Wow! A Cinderella story for Calabocho.

I also love it, and I gotta say, the little spritz of lemon cuts down on that sort of like bitter tart red wine dusty bottle that you got. Very good move. And I read somewhere that they call this, before they called it a Calimocho, they maybe even called it like the poor man's Cuba Libre. I can see that too. There's also a ton of fun variations on this thing that i won't get into i'm liking folks check them out you gotta google those on your own folks but how about this guys for this summer coke and a mixer you know like uh the fernandito fernet and coke and and this and a cuba libre

what if it's a kind of a summer where you got a cooler you got an igloo brand cooler by your pool and it's full of red cans of coke and then every night you're buying a different bottle to mix with and maybe you're pouring them right into the can sometime. Take a few sips. I like that. I like that a lot. We had a party one time at our old house where I stacked up like 24 red cans of Coca-Cola and then got a couple big

handles of like Jack Daniels and was kind of that was kind of fun. I don't remember that. That's good. This would also be good to just have a theme party for this. You know? You're opening a thing of red wine. You got a bunch of Cokes.

You can make this for four people, no problem. No problem. Have yourself a Cala Mocho party, folks. Guys, if you saw me sort of not paying attention, I was doing a quick hotel search in Bunol around the time of the festival. I think we can do it. Well, you've got to crunch the numbers.

How many lira? This one is $82 a night at Casa Rabion. That's the finest hotel in all of Bunol. It looks good. I mean, it looks like it's on some type of citrus farm. You like citrus, right? It's got a pool, some chairs. Oh, this is an Airbnb, I think.

Michael, we've doxxed ourselves by saying the name of the hotel, and it'll be the day that this festival happens. Well, we're not actually going to go to this. A bunch of slobheads are going to come and fuck us. Fuck us up with tomatoes Right in the eye That's our show Follow us on social media At The Sloppy Boys

Where we release these recipes ahead of time Also be sure to check out the Patreon Where subscribers can unlock The Sloppy Boys Blow out our weekly bonus episode We just talked about the best flower this week We decided the best flower since spring has sprung. And the results will surprise you. I'll tell you, bring some of that flower

to the tomato festival and make a little beetsie. Different type of flower, Tim. Different type of flower. Yeah, don't at us. And don't at me for saying Calimocho wrong the whole episode, if that's what happened. And don't at me for saying Calimocho wrong the whole episode, if that's what happened. I think it's Cali, Calimocho?

Calimocho. Calimocho. Emphasis on Calimocho. Calimocho. All right. Great. Folks, we'll see you next week. Bye.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. We'll see you next week. Bye.