The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] Best Starch-Enclosed Protein

Episode Date: October 31, 2025

Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode of The Sloppy Boys Blowout, our weekly bonus episode available to Patreon subscribers. The guys determine the best food item that is like a meat or protein type thing surrounded by a cheaper foodstuff, like a dough, for example.Visit patreon.com/thesloppyboys for more! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, what's up Slopheads? This is Milan Patel. I'm the faithful editor of the pod slash comedy bad boy. And I'm here to officially announce that I'm going on a beast coast roar, a.k.a. an East Coast tour. November 2nd, I'm going to be in Brooklyn, New York at Union Hall. Hey, I'm talking here on a microphone. I'm hosting Milan Patel and Enemies. Now, this isn't just a stand-up show. It's a comedy variety show. It's going to feature stand-up, sketch videos, and a lot more. I've got an amazing lineup of New York's best comics, including Mike Hanford himself, so hey, you might want to check that out. November 3rd, I'm going to be in Boston headlining City Winery. That's going to be wicked awesome, bro.

November 4th, I'm going to be in Philadelphia headlining Philomoka. Man, I hope that's close to the Rocky Statue because I got to fight Abolo Creed one more time. And finally, November 5th, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C., headlining the D.C. Comedy Loft. Now that's going to be funny, a lot funnier than those clowns in Congress, if you ask me. If you're on the East Coast, you better watch out, because this comedy beast is off his leash and off his rocker. I got the street smarts grindset mentality and straight up balls to make even the toughest East Coaster bust a gut. So if you live in New York, Boston, Philly, or D.C., you got to come check me out on my Beast Coast roar. Hey folks, Dutts here along with Haney and the Catman,

and we wanted to present a very special episode that got quite a bit attraction online. Ah, yeah. Jeff, you didn't let us say hello yet. Jeez, hi, and what is up? This is sort of, well, you'll see how Jeff and I sort of don't get along like this in this episode. I was furious in this episode. Listening back, I was surprised I was able to bottle it as well as I did.

It's important to be able to be able to, bottle up your feelings. If something happens that if you're feeling an emotional response, you're not supposed to share it. You bottle it up and you stuff it down, down, down. Yeah, push, push, push until it comes out on your friend all over, all over your friend on the podcast. Terrible. This wasn't as big a blow up as the THC Seltzers. No, no, that one you really let me have. You really let me have at that time. But I was upset, Mike. Now, what are we, what are we talking about here? What's the episode about? you refer to Best Starch and Closed Protein?

That's right. I feel like we, so we released this on our Patreon show The Blowout recently. And the listeners of the blowout were very emphatically chiming in to tell us their thoughts. We were getting, I, it was one of these things where I was trying to walk down the street, but I couldn't because my jeans. I've got an opinion. It makes sense that we're releasing it because this one. uh yeah there was a lot of people who have discussed this like to me in person on the road as we've been touring people saying oh yeah and i agree or i didn't think duds was right or i thought tim you had it or whatever as they're just driving past no no no no like at the merch table and stuff when we're on tour oh when we're on tour like right chugga chugga oh like for example um uh november 4th in denver at the gothic theater november 6th in minneapolis at zora darling november 7th milwaukee x-ray ark November 8th, two shows in Chicago at Beat Kitchen.

November 9th, Indianapolis, Black Circle Brewing. November 11th, Columbus, Rumba Cafe. November 12th, Pittsburgh Craft House. November 13th, two live pods at the Cincinnati Commonwealth Comedy Club. November 14th, Detroit Logger House. And November 15th, Lansing, Michigan, Gray Wall Hall Podcast Night. Come see us, folks. Owee, these are going to be fun.

Now, guys, that is a November to remember. To remember. A November to November. Are we talking yet about our big New Year's Eve bash? Yes. Yeah, we are actually. You get it out there. We're out there, folks.

We're going to be out there. This is a huge New Year's Eve event. December 30th and 31st, a run of shows. Much like how fish does a New Year's Eve run in Manhattan. we're going to be playing two nights at Bowery Electric in Manhattan come see us folks That's going to be a fun one

Fun too And I should say like Fish does four shows For their New Year's run We're doing two because We're about half the size I mean half the popularity of fish So we're going to do half the amount

Yeah we're about half as good as fish Yep Yeah Damn and if you came last year to Reggie's music joint Out in Chicago you know what A fucking arm burner of an old night blast that's going to be so folks come on out experience the boys live as they were meant to be seen seen and not heard yeah a band that's and podcasters who are meant to be seen and not

heard folks pick a team here we're playing this tape we're going to roll the tape and at the end of it you get to decide is mike off his gourd or is he um on his gourd is he on his gourd is he on his gourd is his gourd on him. Yeah, is his gourd? Is he crushed under a gourd? And I will say, what Tim brought into the mix here is something that I've really, since we did this episode,

I've been wanting more and more to try. I don't want to spoil it for the listener now, but ooh, it's something I want to find out there on the road or I don't think I can make it in real life. I think it's difficult to make. Make it. All right, I'll see what I can do. Take a listen, folks.

love you. Peace. Bye. Handboppers in here with Jeffrey D. Hey, folks. And Timi K. What, he's up. I'll tell you what. The drink of the week has got me all bugaboo. I do.

Yeah. I mean, look, you had one and a half. I know. I'm like a third giant one. Oh, okay. I'm only one and a half in. Okay. It is weird, though, it's hitting all of us hard because it's not an infamously like lethal

drink or anything, but wow. I've been today, I said, all right, Mike, You got to, you really got to buckle down. This happens very often. Mike, you got to buckle down in the healthy eating. Here we go. And today was like, you know, a nice light breakfast, a big salad, like some, some protein-y stuff in a salad late afternoon. So, you know, that's sort of a feeling of an empty stomach over here.

Yeah, me too. You know, Michael, I'm sort of, at my best, a low-carb guy, around the house at least. So I eat a lot of chicken and a lot of salad and vegetables and something like that. But then the booze smacks you because bread and noodles and stuff is what absorbs that booze. Right, right, right. You can have the biggest steak salad in the world. It's not going to put a plate again. Well, you know when you see like these really like thin like runner guys is like their triathletes and that all that stuff.

Yeah, they stay away from the carbs, but they don't drink a lot. That's the big difference. They just don't drink a ton. They're not out at bars all night every night getting fucking tank. No, talking about their medals and, oh, this run was great and this race was a... That's how they get you. Can we talk about food for a second? I've got some very exciting things happening in my fridge right now.

I'm sure. I've noticed that, you know, when you don't have like a day job and your job is a gig economy guy, you kind of like your schedule just takes the shape it takes when like things are needed and you have time to work on your own projects or a paying job and uh i've found that like monday is usually my day because i'm like getting ready for this show and buying the drinks or thinking of if i have an intro or whatever and i'll do my like booze shopping and just do a big like grocery shop and it's usually on mondays yeah yeah that's good structure yeah me too and it's like it's like a big like i get my uh I'm going to do a chicken meal this week. I'm going to do a steak meal this week. I got a big pork chop in there. Right now in my fridge, I've got three things marinating. Three things.

I've got a steak with Lowry salt, olive oil, and soy sauce. I didn't do a big fancy ribeye this time. Just a little quickie. Wonderful. I got this one just dawned on me. All of a sudden, I'm the, I'm thinking. I'm sitting in the, in the, it's like a whole foods knockoffy type place to hear me. I got the fingerling potatoes and I said, you're going to be a handful of fingerlings.

Let me see what I can do this guys. I get home and I say, Mike, you know what to do with these fingernails. You're going to put them in a stainless steel bowl, drizzle them with olive oil and garlic salt. And you're going to marinate that. That's in the fridge. You're marinating fingerlings. I'm marinating potatoes. This guy is innovating as a chef.

those are going to be mashed very soon tomorrow and then the big one that I'm very excited about I got a tiny little can fit in my oven fryer or air fryer chicken like a cornish hen

what are you talking about a breast it's not a cornish hen but it's like that size it's like a little it's like a size of like a mini Nerf football a mini chicken a mini chicken a my chide and that though currently is being brined in salt and some Lowry salt, too.

I'm brining a chicken right now. Michael, that is fucking chef shit. Brining a chicken. Are you doing Ziploc bag? No, um, uh, uh, turp-tupware type stuff. Turpentine. Turpidine. Turpterterterterware.

Turpher. Turpurric. I am having so much fun in the kitchen. That's where I feel like a chef. Well, he feels like a chef. Yeah. But I, you know what sometimes you, you're on your dating apps and stuff? And there's that prompt that's like, my perfect house would include, you know what I would, you know, I would put in that my, if I had my druthers and I could pick my own house and design it, I would have a good kitchen.

That would be something I would really want to do. You'd have a, you'd have a TikTok kitchen. I would design it the way that, like, I would have it just the right height for my height. I would have, like, the oven where I want it and that, ooh, cooking. It's so fun. It's such a thing that you can really get into a view. you'd like. It's the heart of the home.

Don't you think? I completely agree. But it's so weird because it's, A, it's something to do. It's something to fill your time with. But then when you're eating your meal, you feel so, you feel so accomplished.

It's like an old, it's probably like an old like rooted in our lizard brains of like, I made this thing. I bought it. I didn't hunt it, but I made it and I cooked it. And it's sustaining me.

Well, it's like this is what people. People do. Like, we're in weirdos, so we wake up and we're like, should I work on my screenplay or my pilot? But like, like, normal people, they wake up and like, they go to the market and they start thinking about dinner like in the morning and then they cook and then eat dinner and the family's happy and they all go to bed. They're on a reliable schedule so they can plan their life. But also having a nice kitchen, Mike, how many times you've been to a house party and then

weirdly everybody's convening not in front of the 8K flat screen? No, they're in the kids. kitchen. Everybody's sort of like nestled together where that's where the, that's the heart of the home. That's where the chips are. Very true. That's where the chips. That's where the chips follow they may. I got a very kitchen-centric family. We grew up like the standing in the kitchen is sort of the thing. And then these days around Christmas, I've been booking up an Airbnb and making sure I get like an island and they have like a TikTok kitchen. It's a great place for that. an island kitchen with like the with the the stools like nice chairs on it like with a little bar oh yeah it's like a bar i love that i love that you have a dining room table that's fine but it's not the the hearth with the bar stools around that's for easter that's for christmas that's for you know a retirement party it's not the hang zone no it ain't the hang zone you know what i'll do i'll put on a motown song and i'm doing the dishes everyone's dancing. Hey, you dry this. Oh, you wash this. You dry this. You watch this again.

I did that too today when I was mixing up my, uh, doing all my marauds. I had some, uh, I think I just put like a classical music mix on, but it was on my like, you know, booming speaker. And it was, uh, I felt, I took that from you, Tim, making the, uh, the pasta with the, uh, opera going. Oh, good. Can I give you a food update? Please. I did the pickle juice. on chicken. Pickle juice in the slow cooker. Somebody even DM me. Ooh.

I feel bad I don't recall this person's handle or name, but they said, oh, you mentioned the pickle juice on the show because they were the person. They were like, you don't just put it in the, you just marinate it. You don't put it in the thing, but it was too late. I was like, I didn't have the time, didn't have the wherewithal in the planning to brine. The way Mike is doing various objects, I just said, can we do it all at once? Can I slow cook a breast for four hours and just throw pickle juice in there with a little bit of water? Fantastic.

Now I've got, it just sort of keeps it juicy, and you get a little bit of that dill pickle snap. Savory. It doesn't feel like you're just chomping a gurkin when you eat that chicken. Damn, damn, that sounds delicious. And I agree. I think in the slow cooker, all bets are off. you boil it down, you see what's around. Now, Jeff, I like seeing you joining the food talk.

Last week, I got reamed, totally attacked efficiently for too much rabbi talk. Now, am I allowed to share something that I cooked recently? Of course, yes. Remember, I feel like this was a year or two ago on the pod, we did an episode. No, it was last year because after Brat Summer, we did a broad episode and we did beer brot. I did beer brats. Right. We all did brats.

But I did like onions with beer in a pot. I did that again. I think it's because we got the tour coming up. I was planning out some stuff for the tour. And I think I was in a Midwest mindset. And beer brots got on the brain. The other day, I got 12 brots. He's in a Midwest mindset.

Now, I didn't want those shitty Johnsonville brats. I walked up to the deli counter, I mean to the meat counter guy and got good brots. And then I got like three enormous sweet onion. And then when I got home, you brown up the, start browning those, those sausages in, I had like a big blue lacrosse, like Dutch oven type of, don't make any jokes, type thing. And then I, there's nothing funny about the word lacrosse. That's all I said. I browned up a sausages, pull them out. Then I like quarter these onions, cut them big so that they can stay sweet. I get those going. I kind of de-glazed the bottom of the, the pork

fat from the, from the sausages. But then I dump in two whole beers, rolling rock beers. Whoa. And then I let those onions boil slowly simmer down for hours. And then I've got this like beer stew. Like a low heat thing? Yeah, low heat. Then I throw the sausages back in there. I got beer brots.

I've been eating beer brats all week. It's a funny, it's a funny food to just have like dipping into the pot. Also like it sounds like meal prepping, which is generally a little bit more health-conscious. Right. It's like chicken breasts and vegetables. This is pork, porky and beer. Yeah, it's just like, no, no, no, no. I got beer brats all week.

You might have a seven-layer lasagna, so I'm ready for this week. Yeah, it's funny. Meal prep is like inherently sort of like paleo or keto or something. If you just, if you just cook a giant lasagna, no one calls it meal prep. Ooh, I got a, I want to talk to you guys about a movie that I want to talk to you, I want to do on the blowout for Halloween.

To watch. To watch. I've talked about it before. The movie is called host, and it's on Tooby right now. And it's the movie, it's the one where it's like the Zoom. Oh, is this a Bong June Ho? It's Bong. No, no.

Oh, it's not Bong. Non-Bong? It's... Non-bong. I think that one's called The Host, and this one's just called host. Like Room in the Room. Exactly. exactly right he's exactly right jefferson uh so what's the deal with host the deal with host is it's a movie

that's it's about an hour long and it's a came out during the during covid and it's about like a zoom a group of zoom friends doing a seance yes i have seen you've seen i have seen let's watch it let's that's a good one it's a good one it's got some scares and it's uh one of those ones where it's really worth looking like we'll talk about the uh we'll talk about the how it was made stuff because it was all like people in well wait a minute we'll talk about how did this get made don't choose well so we'll talk about how did that one movie get made yeah right right how'd they make that film how'd they make that film what do you think uh i think it's a good idea but it's on toby so two b's free man too oh you want to do a little to be to be to be or not to be that's the

worst that's the worst little uh you know each app has like a sound when it comes on to be to be i don't mind that one because it's like who fucking cares it's like it's like the 12 it's just grown on you jeff yeah i know um i recently got my hands on eternal family have you heard of eternal family what's that no no it's a new streamer oh it's not not that new but they like curate all the weird if you want to see like weird dutch animation from the 80s or or old classroom films or just weird creature features. But it's called Eternal Family.

It's called Eternal Family. It's dynamite. God, what did I watch? Koki, the Filipino response to E.T. That's awesome. So is it supposed to be kids' movies? No, it's like all over the place, but it's

oftentimes gross or creaturey or artistic. It feels like Doug Jones you remember Doug Jones our friend from UCB who showed us like Surf 2 an alligator obscure stuff yeah it's just curated obscurity that's cool I didn't even

they got to use that they got eternal family if you're listening curated obscurity the sloppy boys podcast curated obscurity curated obscurity and folks we're trying to be less obscure so tell your friends about the blowout

yeah and how obscurely fun it is I'm here. I, you know, I'm still, I'm a cord cutter and a, a streamer cutter these days. Ooh, snip, snip. But so I've, I've been going on Tubey to see streamer cutter. He's stopping midstream. HBO, I think, has to come back. That has too much good stuff on I want to see.

But, uh, Tombgis. Tombgis? I was going to say, hmm, yes. Uh, Tubey's got a lot of. good stuff. But Jeff, I couldn't do canopy because it's, it's the, the Brooklyn public libraries won't do canopy. Canopy with a K, folks. If you got a library card, you have canopy, except Mike. But maybe hoopla too. I heard hoopla is something. Kind of looking to hoopla. Or Libby? I need to go over to the library and say, all right, listen to me. Put that book down.

Listen to me. How do I stream? Free. For free. For free, asshole. Um, Isn't it as weird as when you're, when you were talking about curated obscurity? Yeah. Kier obscure. Obscure stuff is cool and everything. And I would like to convince myself of a cool guy. But do you realize my favorite musical artist is Bruce Springsteen? Yeah.

I realize that. My favorite movie is It's a Wonderful Life. My favorite TV show, drama, sopranos, comedy, Seinfeld. This is the definition of not obscure. not basic basic bitch this is down the middle stuff but i will say you signfeld it's like you like that show even now you know what i mean it's like uh it's obscure to watch it in 20 25 no it's not it's not obscure but it's like you like it for a very specific and like you you can get in the cracks of it because you are a comedian i'll say this

all the things you listed yeah they might be on other people's list, but why are they? Because they're excellent, because they're timeless. You know what I mean? Timeless integrity. Yeah, it's, it's that timeless integrity thing. And like, Springsteen, he's not, he's huge, but he was like, uh, this wasn't his, his giant, you know, uh, born to run era. Like, you weren't picking up on that area. Like, it's, it's weird for you to listen to him as a 40-year-old. No, it's not. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I'm a weird indie alt freak. You guys have convinced me.

anyway I hit plan born in the USA I'm like I'm a weirdo man yeah that's true you are just kind of right down the middle aren't you oh folks I mean my favorite food a rib eye

I was watching clips of MD Foodie boys that 13 year old podcast they were picking their favorite foods and one guy said ribai oh nice I mean he's ahead of his time that's sort of an older man's game

you should get on that get on that podcast. What's the kid, the kid who, his name is like Chubb, like Curly Chub or something like that? He was like the one that's like me. He's got like the curly hair in the front and he just recently. His name's Curly Chubb. They call him Chubb.

Oh, okay. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. I love those guys. Well, speaking of food, that's good we're talking about food and ribbyes and stuff because today, today we are talking about the best starch enclosed protein.

Oh, you're making my mouth water. So today we're talking about, well, what we think that is. I don't think we should say what possibilities could be. We're each going to nominate one and then we're going to post it on Instagram and the slopheads will choose the winner. Because we notice across cultures, there's this thing that happens where people will take, you know, a meat, a vegetable, a potato or whatever. A protein. protein chop it up

wrap it in a starch a carb a bread a bread a pasta and they're gonna do something to it

they're gonna do they're gonna do something to it they're gonna deep fry it they're gonna bake it deep fry it you're gonna bake it and it's gonna come out

and it's gonna be a little gusher they're gonna put it in a stew uh all right Well, Jeff, do you want to go first? Is this was your sort of pop-up? Yeah. Yeah, I probably should.

Well, because I got a lot of runners up, but I don't want to blow yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been on record as being a pierogi guy. I'm a parogi supporter. Mrs. Tees? Through and through. Mrs. Tees are kind of my jam. I pan fry them or actually, you know what?

I'll boil them because if you pan fry them when they're frozen, it's not quite as good as if you get them a little bit. mushy and pillowy. So if you can boil them for a bit and then finish the job pan fry, or I'll tell you what, even sometimes historically I've done that and then I've had a side of saracha and I dip as I go. You know, just a little fusion cuisine. But lately, I've been just taking a whole thing of pasta sauce and putting it in there, putting in some Rayos vodka sauce right on top of the perouse.

Jeff, you're getting into ravioli things. territory now. It's ravioli coded. Ravioli-coly. Even though I do that the most, I do that the most, and I'll continue to do that the most. I had to rack my brain for like, what truly is the best expression of this thing? What gets me going? Off.

Yeah. And I got a list that I can't wait to talk about in the runners up. The one I'm going with for the poll, and this is the one that gets me so jazz and I'm so, I always forget about them. always but when somebody's like should we get some of these i'm like yeah actually get twice as many as you thought you were going to get crab rangoon wow wow good big i'm talking a deep fried little uh way for patty what do what do you what you call you the outside thing wanton it's like wanton yeah sort of a wanton um and inside that's good crab and cream cheese yeah yeah it's like No, it's like whipped up.

It's whipped up and then you can dunk it, but you really don't even need to dunk it. Yeah, what is the sauce they usually give with it? Is that duck sauce? No, that's not duck sauce. It's like duck sauce kind of. Duck sauce? Like a duck sauce or like a sweet sauce. Yeah, yeah.

I'll tell you, I feel like I have them sometimes and there's no crap and it's just the cream cheese, or imitation crap, I guess. Honestly, and that's fine. I've had bad ones because like if they get soggy or floppy, that's not as good. Yeah, yeah. You kind of want a nice crystalline, crispy one, salty. So I'm going to say for the, um, pole. crab brain goon parentheses good okay so not the bad ones

I'm going to do that for mine too I think yeah we should also say good I'm going to say bad wait wait wait I forget did we land out an enclosure encased encased encased right encased yeah yeah yeah that was the

funnier one Jeff that's a great pick it's very fun and you know what we learned I saw the movie The Dawn of T. No, it wasn't in that. It was somewhere else because it was not him. Do you know who invented

Krab Rangoon? Vic Bergeron? Trader Vic Bergeron. Oh, wow. That's fun. And that is a good treat. That's one of those ones too. Yeah, Jeff, I agree.

When you get a good one and you're kind of like you're like, you're like, fucking A, we only got four of these. Yeah, exactly. I only order it when I like see it on a menu and I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot all about crab rangoon.

Let me try it. And when it comes out, it's good. Oh. Owee, I'm singing. I'm tipping. And also, like, cream cheese is an odd addition to Asian food. Like, a filly roll is a little silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Philly is silly. But once you've had it, I mean, you can't go back. It's one of those things where it's like the thought of it is gross, but then you have it. You're like, well, I do fucking love cream cheese. And it turns out in any execution of cream cheese, I love it. So, folks, if you haven't had crabber and good, and that's holding you back, give it a shot. Did we have some of these at, we were in. Seattle recently at a Thai restaurant,

I feel like maybe we got some rangoons for the tape and we mount them. You know what I like about the crab rangoon is, of all the best starch in case proteins, a lot of times you're hoping that inside is meaty and you're hoping it's plump. I like with crab rangoon, it's a big star-shaped thing.

It's all about the crisp. I don't mind if it's a marble size of rangoon in the middle of there, you know? Yeah, I've had some rangoons that are like, it almost looks like they're twisted down to like a little It looks like a little Eighth of Coke or something. Like a little ball.

Yeah. And it makes me feel just as good. Just as good. I'm basically like a cocaine guy, but with crab rangoon, the same type of vibe. I'm out of the party. Let's get some rango.

He's got a real raggoon problem. Eating crab rangoon in the bathroom. I got duck sauce in my pocket and dip in it. You come out with dumps and duck sauce on your shirt. Like, Tim, what is this? What's happening? What are you doing? doing in there? Tim won't stop talking and he smells like cream cheese. He won't stop talking about

crab rangoon. I'll go next. I got a clip for mine. Mine is the most delicious surf and turf and steak deep fry. Oh, you've created your own dish. Yes, yes. It's the fire full seven course meal deep fry. As I'm thinking of some of the other options here, it's kind of, now Jeff, said crab rangoon, I was proudy. I thought it was a great pick. Now that I'm seeing some of the choices out there in the world, if you think outside the box, uh, you went pretty obscure because you could have said some major

meatballs here, not meatballs themselves. Right. Okay. But maybe, uh, Aruncini. It is, it is funny too. A jeff with like, uh, rangoon. That, that is an obscure one. It's like, it made me think like, oh, I didn't even think of crab rangoon. I feel like there's a ton of, uh, starching case. world of this stuff. Yeah. Also, now that I think about it might be one of the worst

ones. What the fuck? 10. Hey, good thing the voting audience isn't hearing this just yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. This is mine. You can play mine, Jeff. Now. Well, during the competition, a protester with a Darth Vader mask rushed the stage and bumped into chestnut, who immediately goes choke cold there. I think he's done that before. Contest officials and escort the intruder away. Various gambling sites have given refunds to the over under. Due to the protester interference, yes, there wasn't over under at the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. This is a clip from the Nathan's hot dog eating competition from a couple years ago when a guy dressed as Darth Vader came up and Joey Chestnut had to choke, grab him and throw him off the stage.

My pick is a Nathan's hot dog in a bun. Enkaced? It's not fully encased. It's held. Cushioned. If you want to give me a definition of what encased actually means, be my guess. But this was my interpretation of Jeff's starch encased protein. This was your interpretation, even though we had a lengthy discussion where we discovered all cultures do different little pockets of stuff. I've grown since then, though. Enclose or cover in a case or close-fitting surround.

Enclose... It's pretty close-fitting. Close-fitting. fitting. It's not a close per se, but fence enclosed, encloses to describe his, uh, fence in, fencing, uh, secluded. But I mean, if you got it, if you, you see, the dog isn't entirely secluded, Mike. Bound on all sides. Bound on all sides. If you got a fence, say you got a horse inside of a fence, you got the fence, the square at the bottom. You don't need up the air. You don't need the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the dog's not going anywhere.

Now, Mike, I give you a corn dog. You could make an argument for a corn dog. I almost did corn dog, but I wanted to win the pole. I would give you a corn dog. I might even give you a pig in a blanket. Yeah, those I thought about, but I said, I think this one would win the pole. Nathan's hot dog in a bun is his bag. I mean, if your logic is above board, it's very funny to be like, what's the best food?

Crab rang, ruin, or hot dog. The world's favorite food or something you have less than once a year. can I say my I'm going to say my second one but I don't want to well I won't say it because it might step on Tim's but I have reasoning for this one it's funny because in my research I found that the word we're looking for is dumpling that's the uh the genus of everything that we're talking about different cultures have different dumplings oh is sort of where I was headed or I thought we were all headed with this but hey you know you can't know what's in the your friend's head all the time here's what's tricky on

This one, like... Your friend's scrambled head. If me and Jeff threw hisy-fits and tried to get Mike to not put this in there, then maybe we could. Or we could say, you put it in the poll. You'd never be able to. You'd never be able to get me to not do this. Well, if that's the case, then we won't do that.

I am steadfast. But we could put it out to the poll and hope that the slop heads are sensible enough to not vote for it. But remember, a few weeks ago, we said Best Tarantino knockoff. And I said, Fargo, everyone does. agree with me, but I won because it was the best film. So I fear Mike will win even though there's going to be so many asterisks. Yeah.

I don't put so much stock in the blowout that I need these to be right. So you have elsewhere in your life, you have enough going for you that you don't need this. You don't need to win this without asterisks. Right. Even though this is entirely fucked

Well, you're convincing me. Now that I felt like I had a lot writing this now, I remember I have a family that loves me. right exactly you got a whole future me i don't have that so this is this is it i need this mike now the way you worded it was nathan's hot dog in a bun is that or is that it or just hot dog i think no it's it's it's got to be nathens that's a big part of this for me that's an all be frank natural case and snap is there a way could i can i motion that we even though he went second in the blowout can we list his third so that people kind of get a

sense of what this was supposed to be well now wait a minute how about this. How about this? We say in the, in the description, you know, in case, and maybe like in parentheses, like, fully enclosed. Oh, no, come on. The audience has to be that the voters have to be like, okay, well, I see the rubric here, but this one doesn't fit it, but I still like hot dogs. And so, wait, you also don't want to exercise the parenthetical in your selection, the way that I have said good. You mean, you mean good? You don't want to say good? Maybe say bad.

I'll say good. Good version. I'll say best version. Best version. Oh, man. Well, I guess I open the door. It's like I gerrymandered first. So now whatever happens happens.

On Nathan's hot dog in a bun, best version is some of the best food on earth. The best version. You know, when it's really hitting. That's why I didn't put worse version. The slop heads will stop and think. If I know the slop heads, they're not just going to go for the easy bait. Easy bait. If I know the slop heads, they're a bunch of drunk party dudes and dudeettes,

so they don't care about it. They just want to eat some hot dogs with a handbag. Oh, God. Come on, slop heads. Prove me right at least once in my life. Handfoot is the hot dog man. Okay. My turn?

Infoot is the hot dog man. Album five. Timmy, hit him with it. Well, there's a lot of starch-en-case proteins here on the pod. I would think so, yeah. And God, it's interesting to think worldwide, like you said. It's beautiful that all these cultures came up with the same thing. All based on the necessity of protein is more expensive,

harder to come by, harder to farm, starch, cheap, cheap, easy, plentiful. So if you want to make a meal of something, wrap up your protein in a, uh, uh, uh, uh, a doll. In a doll. Now. In a doll. Dumpling was a word that Jeff said, so I will say it as well, is something that I was thinking, all the many types of varieties. Everything that's dumpling adjacent, ups and downs, and all over the place, wonderful foods.

Yep. But I hear, I'm also trying to win a poll. Am I not? Oh, God. No. And I don't need to break rules like Mike. so I will not break a rule. But so my encasing will be 100%.

We'll be complete. Let's just say this. The protein will be secluded. Secluted. 360 seclusion. In an airtight seal. Blackout curtain style. We said best.

So I'm thinking, Tim, what do you really want to sit down to? We're going to, you're going big. Let's go gourmet. So to quote the great Gordon Ramsey, beef Wellington Ooh What? Google it my man

Beef Wellington I've never had a beef Wellington That's I'd like to have one of those Match It's got a jacket on it

Of sorts right It's like a whole filet Like a whole tenderloin And then it's wrapped In puff pastry Filo dough type stuff So it's 100% encased But it's fancy ass meat

Out of Steakhouse in London It looks great I've only heard of it as a joke the way you hear of duck laurenge yeah and i'm uh looking at pictures i'm mad i haven't had it when we go on tour we have to find a beef wellington and we'll eat it oh yes we need to go we need to go on tour in fucking england and eat some beef long that'll be our past beef well it's some heavy it's very british heavy ass food i'll tell you why we don't encounter it too much here it's such a pain in the ass to cook my dad made one one time and for christmas and it actually came out great

But he was, I was like, oh, yeah, like to have the, the, to try to get the roast, the beef to be perfect, medium rare, and then also have the dough be crispy. Like, it's kind of impossible. Very tricky for you. You're serving two masters. Because it's got to be done. Yeah, it's got to be done. You can't, you can't like, you don't like cook the meat and then like wrap in dough and then cook it again. No, no.

All the same time. Also, folks, it looks like a baguette and you cut it open. Nope. Meat. It's got meat in it. yeah these look good oh i want to try one of these oh is there like a sauce you dip with it well this episode is completely fucking broken

but uh go ahead and tweet that these are all weird jeff you need to no no of course it's weird this whole podcast is weird it's you gotta get away from the ones and zeros Jeff you need to get you need to get live that's what I'm talking no no you need to get rainbow baby you need to live out loud.

Okay. All right, next time I'll live out loud. Next time you have a blowout premise, I'm going to live out loud, Mike. I'm going to live out loud. I don't care. I just so we can chat about something. I wanted to talk about bow and Gioza,

and you brought in steak and hot dogs. How about this, Jeff? Empanadas. Uh-oh. Pot stickers. Yes, yes. Mike, you could learn from your friend, Tim. Beef ravioli.

Well, Tim, he grew up at a, uh, a household of pizza. Oh, Calzone would have been a good one. Calzone Strombole. Oh, Calzone. I never thought of that. I wish I had done Calzone. A Buffalo zone?

A buffer zone? From... from... D. B. D. B. D. D. B. D. D.O. in Ithaca. I could go for one of those guys right now. Didn't we have one of those recently, maybe in Detroit and it wasn't good. Or, didn't we got D.B. D.B. D.O. somewhere. Pittsburgh. Was it good, though? I can't remember.

No, we were like, not, it's not as good as when you're a drunk college student. Was that when we were in that hotel room that felt like it was like a wreck room that they just put beds in? That was insane. Oh, wait. Oh, no, that was in Pittsburgh, but you guys got sandwiches that were terrible. We got those terrible fucking Promonti brothers, French fries sandwiches. Terrible. Like, we were expecting, like, this is the event food.

It showed up, like a one star. Mm-hmm. Just complete misfire. Yeah. So mad. And it was like so hard to stay up. We worked hard for those and they fucking sucked. They sucked.

It was hard to finish. Nasty. Pittsburgh, you got a beautiful city. Food scene, not so good. Sorry to say it to you, Pittsburgh. Food scene, not a dream. Jeff, let me tell you my runner up.

You're not going to like it. Tacos. Okay. No, no, no, no. Chimichangas, burritos. That's a little better. I know. I think my definition of in

taste was different than yours, because I also, I also thought sandwich might be good or Italian subs. See, Mike, you're, you got it all wrong. If you could have picked a sandwich and Jeff said crab rango. I'm pulling up the receipts because we talked about this earlier and I said best starch and close protein. And then, um, you said something like, like, yeah, yeah, don't say anymore. Let's not define it any more than that. And so I knew you. you were going to do some fucking dumb shit. No, no, no, I'm not, that was an attempt to do jump shit. That was an attempt for me to say, I like to get a weird thing like starch and

clothes and then see what comes from it. What are my three guys' brains thinking about it? You like to outsmart parameters. That is, that is your thing. Not true. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. You were like, I want to show how clever I am.

Oh, get the hell out of here. I've done some really, I've won some really good quizzes here or some. I'm just pulling up your quote. And for the blower, it's just best starch and closed protein. No explanations of what that means. We'll all see how we interpret that with our nominees. Yeah, that's fun to me. That's fun to me.

That's fun to me? I knew it. I knew right then he was going to do some weird fucking shit. I'm not trying to. No, I'm not trying to. Because you're like the riddler. You like to break the game. I'd like to be the risler.

You guys had empanadas? What is an empanat? Yes, I have had an empanata. It's good. They're wonderful. Empanadas are great. I've had one. Empanados are nice because they kind of fit like right in the palm of your hand.

They got a nice, like, you can grip them like that. Oh, it's just a hot pocket, too, would be one. Yeah. What is the... Chicken bake. Oh, chicken bake. Oh, that gets five booms, I heard. Boom.

What's the bakery up in the valley that everybody loses their shit over? Portos. Portos. They got a lot of encased. They got a lot of encased stuff. And that's interesting. the starch is not dough, it's a lot of the time fucking potato

doing the encasing. Hey, what about this? Egg roll, that would have been a good one, too. Isn't that also true with Parogi? Parogi's got potato on the inside dough on the outside. But would egg roll, would you consider egg roll? You can get meat egg rolls, right? Yeah, if there's chicken or pork in that egg roll, sure. It really does

seem, every culture has a starch encased protein. No one is fighting us on this, but we keep saying it. No, it's all, it's all right there. Just look at the examples. I love, when you go to a Chinese restaurant or you get takeout, the

pork dumpling, the pan-fied pride pork dumpling, not just the boiled one, but like I just would say, boil a little bit, get it chewy, then finish it in the pan. I also like if you go to a real Sichuan restaurant, you get that numb-taste red chili all going, whoa, Timmy. I like when you get dumplings.

Do dumplings sometimes come in those like stacked basket? Yes. So that's like the Dintai Fung style. Yeah. Soup dumplings? things? Yeah. Dim sum. Oh, yeah, dim sum. That's right. That's good. Yeah, those like wooden, circular, steamy things, right? Yeah. But inside of those is dumpers.

See, I was thinking of that as like, what's the big chubster water balloon? Bow. Savory. You know? Oh, oh, yeah. What about Shumai? What's the soup dumpling where you bite in and all the broth spills up? Yeah, so that's, I looked up like, didn't I find they call that, like, Shao Long Bao or soup dumplings? That's Vietnamese. But yeah. I feel like across Asian cultures, you have different, like, porky, cabbagey, soupy, little guys. They're sort of presented more like a Hershey's kiss, though. It's got like folds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a plump bottom and they sort of bring it around up top and you bite off the top and you suck out of the juice. Well, you don't have to do it my way, though. How do you bow? I'm about to bow out of this podcast because Mike said, hot dog. You know what I do? you know it's not a something i don't really like it's what is it's it's like that it's called like sweet uh i think it's a tie thing it's like the sticky sweet buns or something something

buns i'm with you like the big pillowy soft with a super sweet pork in the middle i don't i don't waste space in the stomach for that pork bun pork bun pork bun pork yeah you it's like it's like a fluffy pancake right the the pancakeness of it like the two it's too sweet or too like the pancakey texture I don't love. Doey, yeah, it's too doughy for them. But I like when the ones where the, the bun where they're like making a little taco for you, I just don't like the one, when it's a full baseball of pillow. Oh, oh, I'm talking taco.

Those are great. Give me that sweet barbecue pork. Yeah, I don't be like pork belly or whatever. I got to bring it back to Calzone. Now, we said Calzone, we all went, oh, Calzone and Calzone, boy, they're really not a part of life, especially not in L.A., but maybe, maybe in New York more so, but still, calzone's are not popular. But here's the thing about them.

It's in theory great. But a lot of the time, it takes too long to cook and you got this big doughy thing and then that molten cheese spills out or the dough was not entirely cooked. It's hard to execute a calzone. Yeah. my complaint usually with a calzone when I have a bad one is not cooked all the way through the bread's not cooked all the way through yep and it's like tricky undercooked bread nasty you you bite it and it's like cold extremely hot you freak out I'm with him I'm with you too man I'm with me Tim do we have any uh trolleos uh trolling around getting nasty under the bridge we do but I have a mouthful of cheddar cheese right now, so can you guys have ham for four seconds?

Sure. Some cheddar cheese. Jeff, what would you think to the idea of a sushi roll? Is it enclosed? Starch? It's enclosed before it's cut. A sushi roll. Oh, like a hand roll?

A hand roll. A rice on the outside. That's the starch encasing this. But before it's cut. A cut roll before it's cut. Okay. Yeah. Like in K-Bob Demon Hunters.

Look, look, look. We've learned almost anything in the world can be a starch and closed protein. I really wanted this to be a dumpling episode and the ship has sailed. Yeah, sure, I'll give you that. Yeah, sushi, why not? Why did you want so badly for a dumpling episode? What's behind that? Because I thought we hit on something intriguing.

We did. And it's gone now. Yeah. Now we're moving on to new intriguing things. That ship is so. But hey, it's served to a springboard to a different, worst thing. Exactly right. Exactly right. Tim, any trolls? Well, Sean Morrissey correctly guessed who picked what? No. Actually, he got, oh, yeah, he guessed Jeff, Tim, Mike, which was how they're listed. now most of the comments so you guys Mike you said

Jeff you said that the crab wrangoon was good and Mike you said the hot dog was the best version I neglected to add a parenthetical so most of the comments are about is the beef Wellington good or bad beef Wellington dice roll

either way bad version well Ashley says sloppy boys parogi poppers trademark, of course. Remember, we talked about that last week. Yes, yes. We're a band and we have parochie poppers. And dog repellent.

Yes. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. That is still, that still remains our best or your best idea, Jeff. Thanks. Get that going. Jeff, maybe you can answer this. Braden on Instagram, Braden asked, do dumplings count?

So we have We have clouded the definition so much that we're not even sure of the most obvious one we have clouded I have clouded this one I don't understand Tom says Hargau better get a mention is that a type of dim sum there are just so many versions of like pot stickers and stuff if you really dig into like Asian food how do you how do you pronounce that how do you pronounce is it geoza goy goyza is the Japanese pan fried like what we call pot stickers yeah I like this is funny hard gow they're good but like in a dim sum platter these

the ones, it's pretty plain. It's just like a shrimp with some dough around it that's kind of see-through. Ooh, Temporo would be one too. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, now you're really opening up. If a batter is encasing, you could have said fried chicken. Hey, you know what? Mozilla stick. Whatever. Yeah. You could have said chicken wing. Nothing matters and why do anything in life. Well, but, but, Jeff, uh, cheese is not a protein. So you'd be, you'd be dinged on that one. Certainly there's protein in there, no? Is that not true? Maybe there's some, but I wouldn't consider it a protein.

I would call it a dairy. Yes, it says yes, cheese is a good source of protein, but I agree. It's not a protein. It's not a protein. Are you guys ready for the results, as they call them? Yes, please. Put me out of my misery, Tim. Well, in third place, with 20% of the vote.

Say it. beef Wellington unspecified quality wow interesting I thought I was going to be third for sure I think this is what killed me I think a lot of people don't know like I had to look at Beef Wellington again

I don't think a lot of people don't know what that is it's funny because it's obscure it's a British thing but Gordon Ramsey has made it so popular like you know there's Gordon Ramsey restaurants across America now where it's like the signature jet like in on the sunset strip you could sit down to

beef Wellington now let's do that cool we shall okay in first place with a whopping 46% over the second place 34 which was actually a very good showing michael hanford nathan's hot dog in a bun best version wins the what's the best starch and case protein challenge i am going to use the scratch off money to uh enter myself into the nathan's hot dog challenge this fourth of july wow wow you heard it here first folks You heard it here first, folks. Remember Tim and I went down once, and we almost, or we had an opportunity, we didn't have the opportunity, but there was potential.

Somebody was going to ask somebody who worked for the judges that Tim and I might have been able to be, like, the counters. The hot talk counter, like holding up the numbers. That's a big responsibility, Mike. She's probably listening. Let's do it this year. We want, actually, no, it's too much pressure. That's too much pressure. I don't know if I'm going to go back down to the, I mean, I need to take a few years off of that event.

We were watching it on. TV this year and as we were looking I was like I think I would shit my fucking pants if it was all on me to keep like some of the other guys are more obscure but Joey Chestnut eats so fast he's eating two at a time I would fuck up. I think the I think the it wasn't

it was the people holding the counter boards not the people actually counting because I think there's guys in front saying like oh he got one add it to the board and the guy in the back has a sign yeah dang but we could do that we can do anything

Folks, we hope you get yourself out there and try some protein in case and some starch. Is that a good cause for us to be promoting? Is it important? Did they maybe all do it today accidentally? Maybe. Yeah, they probably did it anyway. Now that we know every food is this. It is funny, as we talked about more and more, just like how we, like, oh, yeah, Gio's, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I got to say, evolve. of all the sort of arguing over poll type stuff over the years and oh, Tim, is Fargo a Taranjino Knockoff? This is the most egregious. A hot dog. It was clearly the dumpling episode

and you said hot dog. Hey, this is how we vote in this country these days. This is what a kids learn to do early. They call it malicious compliance. It's kind of similar to my novel, malicious intent. Oh, yes. I'm still looking forward to that, Tim. I thought

your novel was called Malicious and Delicious. At the Los Angeles flea market on Fridays, there's a guy named Patrick who makes these sausages that, uh... Patty sausages. Yeah, Patrick sausages. He takes like a long roll. He pulls, he hollows out the roll, and then he jams a big brotwurst in the thing and then puts the cat back on. So that sausage is fully encased. Yeah.

Oh, well, you could have brought, dude. It's sort of a corn dog after the fact. yeah no it's like an elevated corn dog minus the corn it's a delicious broad in a delicious roll okay yeah what about this with could this pass a a bread bowl with uh you know beef barley soup meat meat soup and then the top of the bread bowl is put back if you if you place the cap on then it's in case then yes good that that's what i'm i should have done oh i meant for the hot dog I meant there's also a piece of bread on top of the hot dog. It's encased in bread on the bottom and mustard and ketchup on the top.

All right, folks, go out and have something fun. We'll see you next week. Bye, folks. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. I'm going to be.