The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] Favorite Christmas Songs

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

The guys each bring in their favorite Christmas song in a chilling three-way showdown!Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode from our weekly Patreon bonus podcast, The Sloppy Boys Blowout. Happy Holidays!www.patreon.com/thesloppyboys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, hey, welcome to the blowout everybody. We are are the Sloppy Boys. I'm Mike Hanford. I'm sitting here with Jeff Dutton. What's up? And Tim Kalpakis. What is going on? And we are hot on the trail of the holiday season. Hot in these cool, cool months. There's a certain heat to the air that lets you know that it's almost time.

That Christmas tree heat. When you start to sweat, you know Santa's coming soon. You know that big, fat, sweaty piece of shit is going to be flying by your house. Going to be squeezing his little butt cheeks, big butt cheeks, down your chin. And I hope you made the good list so you can get all the Xbox fives you want. PlayStation five. Mike, come on. You're not a gamer.

You want to get gamers on our ass? Oh, God. The chat room is going to light my ass up. Personally, I don't even want to get PS5 because I'm still hooked. All I do is play Among Us. Oh, Tim. Where did you learn Among Us? Who have you been hanging out with?

Well, if I'm not playing Among Us, I'm playing Animal Crossing. Oh, geez. And if it's not Animal Crossing, it's Fortnite. Now you're talking my language. The last game I played was Grand Theft Auto V. I loved it. And it took me on and off like five years to beat. I don't even think I've beaten it.

I think I can still do missions, but I was, I'm so not, I don't know why I got the PS, what was that, a four? Three, PS3. Yeah, I don't know why I got the PS, what was that, a 4? 3, PS3. Yeah, I loved that you did, though. You and I were roommates at the time, and you played the hell out of it. You beat it. Oh, sure. You kept showing me all these cool things.

I was like, I'm not there yet. I'm still trying to get the cargo on top of the cargo shift down at the docks. Those are the worst. What's your number one game of all time i assume what mario kart i'm probably mario kart oh that's that's an interesting one i played a lot of super smash bros and i probably couldn't even like play it anymore i have no idea like what how it worked even back then i was just kind of mashing buttons and having fun i think the most fun i ever had playing a video game was I liked Red Dead Redemption

a lot. That's kind of a new one. Red Dead. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was fun. What about Metal Gear Solid, huh? Oh, that's a good one. Oh, hey, yeah, hey. I think I probably logged the most hours in ecstasy playing the Halo games, but those are such a... Those are so their own thing. Well, you played with, like,

a group of people who loved it, and you had, like... Yeah, from, like, college. That became, like, you played with like a group of people who loved it and you had like. Yeah, from like college. That became like a multiplayer, like holy shit, going all night type thing. But then like the Zelda games like Ocarina, those are fun solo loner games. I don't know why I made the decision that I don't play Halo. You know, when you're just like, nah, I don't do that thing. So I played especially multiplayer games like in college. Yeah. Well, I like, I played a bunch of that stuff before.

And then I played games since, but I specifically, like, I remember you Jeff being like, Oh, Hey guys, we're playing Halo. And then I remember that friend group playing. And I remember, it's as if I'm saying like, Oh, I don't ski. I was just like, no, I don't play. And it looked fun and everything, but I just decided I don't play Halo. My favorite game is Pong. Grandpa. Oh, my God.

God, Grandpa. Sorry, I'm sorry. Grandpa came on. Your grandpa is pretty young, probably, if he grew up with Pong. I invented it. Okay. Oh, okay. All right.

What the hell are you talking about? Guys, what are we up to today? We, hey, we're talking Christmas songs today. Not just Christmas songs. The,

our favorite Christmas songs. Our favorites ever. Yeah, baby. Favorite Christmas song. This is a, this is another one

of our big showdowns because we said, hey, the holidays are here again. We one time did a whole thing where we presented our party songs. This time, it's the favorite Christmas song. So much like, I mean, this relates to what we're talking about with video games, which is the one for you.

Tim, you almost sang the first lyrics of my favorite holiday song just now. Really? The holidays are here again. Lean on over and tell your friend. If you don't lean, your friend won't know, so you must remember to lean. Lean in, cause he has bad

hearing. He invented Pong. And he lives in the bathrooms. Oh, you're friends with your grandpa. That's the deal. Grandpa lives in the bathroom. Yeah.

He can't risk leaving for too long because he's always got to continue the same long shit. And his bed is in the tub. I like that one specific. We almost snarfed out Jeff over there. I will never forgive you for that because I had to keep Bud Light Seltzer Apple Crisp in my mouth. That's not a good snarfer. We don't need to get into the order in which we record these podcasts.

Let's just get on with the battle royale. People don't want to hear about, they don't want to look behind the curtain. They want to think, they don't want to know that the three of us are constantly fighting behind the scenes. Yeah, this is hell to be on these Zooms with you two. We do

it for the money. Okay, these are each of our three favorite Christmas songs, and then we're going to decide which one is the best. Yeah. Yeah. And then the winner gets bragging rights for the whole year. Personally, I hope it's me.

And me? I hope it's me. Oh, Mike. And I hope it's my grandpa. You hear that, you old kook? Mr. Hanford, the first. The only. Oh, you shut up.

Guys, I'm going to kick it off. Yeah, let's see what you got. Okay. Walk us through. We don't just want to hear your song, Jay. We want to hear your whole thought process. When you got the news. Yes.

When I got the news that we were doing our favorite Christmas songs, one album leapt to mind. And this is by a guy who's got a lot of hits under his belt. But if it's a holiday song, you're going to want something that's got a lot of tradition to it. Because what are the holidays about if not tradition?

Something we return to over and over again and they're meaningful all the while. So this is a legend of sorts covering an old classic. And is this a song that this version of it is the one that really gets you? Or were you a fan of the song before? I was delighted to discover that this artist came out with a Christmas album. Okay. With his own take on a lot of classics

and some originals. Got it. But I think I've got a lead with this one track. This is Silent Night by Parliament Funkadelic Bassist Bootsy Collins. Hell yeah! Silent Night. Ooh, that groove. And it's a holy night.

And it's a holy night. All is calm. And all is bright looking good baby looking good baby he's just sort of scatting and taking it real easy

oh man this is so great does he keep talking like this the whole song talking he's singing but he's like speaking

you'll notice like there's a horn that's kind of doing the real melody so that he can just be cool it's like he's he's too cool for the actual notes so he's dancing around them kind of plugging it in yeah and we'll take it right up through this little breakdown even the horn doing the melody

is still having some fun with it here we go we go. A little nod to pass the peas. Now that'll get your toe tapping. I remember when we saw Parliament, it was George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, right? Yeah. A couple of summers ago over at the old Greek theater. That was the most fun concert ever. They were wild. There was like so many people on stage who like kept coming and going. And they all entered together. Remember, like there was like the baseline started and they all like tiptoed out on stage together with kind of like George Clinton was at the front of it and they were all like,

here we come, here we come. Yeah. And it took a long time that whole intro of the show was forever oh that was so great and then at one point there was like a big old peak of the song where like everybody was on stage and he's introducing his uh you know there's like three generations of clinton's on stage there's he's the godfather of the whole operation his son is playing some instrument and his grandson is doing a rap and and of course don't forget their cousin bill clinton oh yeah yeah yeah i'll play the sax well i remember too there

was at one point like this huge crescendo of a song was happening and they were bringing they were bringing uh audience members on stage and the stage was like packed with people and we're like surely this is the end. The whole amplifier was like nuts. And that song ended. Yeah. We thought that was like, okay,

this is the end of the show. That song ended and they can, everyone left the stage and they continued on with the show. It's like 45 minutes left. That was a good song, Jeff. That's a fun one. I had,

I had not heard that version, but that's going to be in my rotation this year. You gotta check out Bootsy Collins' Christmas is Forever with a numerical four. And he's got renditions of Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Of course, Rudolph is boot off and Santa Claus is booty claws. We've also got four originals in there. You've got guest spots from Charlie Daniels and Macy Gray and Snoop Dogg.

Oh, cool. When did this come out? Oh, Mike, you had to stump me, didn't you? He'll get you. He's a little journalist like Barbara Walters, and he asks the hard questions. Late 90s? It came out in 2006.

Kind of mid-2000s? It's on Spotify, really worth a spin. Check it out, folks. Give it a whirl. What else are you doing? Who's next? All right, I'll go next. This is a song that I've happened upon just recently.

This isn't like an old favorite of mine or anything, but I found it recently and it made me laugh. And well, geez, maybe it'll make you guys laugh too. That would be great. I don't want to say what the name is because I think it might blow the joke. Okay. So this one, were you bellyaching over your decision or was this easy? Was it a layup?

This was easy. This is a layup. This is you. We mentioned what we're doing. I said, I know what I'm doing. Boom. Bring it, bring it to the table. Okay.

Damn. That's awesome. I wish I would have seen all that. Yeah. It was so fast. You wouldn't even seen anything. It was just, I was reading the text of what we were doing for this episode. Got it.

Got it. Yeah. And like, meanwhile, you know, me and dutton are sort of like wondering we're insecure and then you're like an alpha you're kind of like um just a a mad dog right and and probably the longest part of it was like downloading it and then sending it over like getting it to you guys was it limewire that used to download it or no no no no i uh i pulled it off of youtube oh oh very cool i shouldn't No, no, no, no. I pulled it off of YouTube. Oh, very cool.

I shouldn't be mentioning that, but yes, that's how I got it. Well, here we go. This is Mike Hanford's favorite Christmas song. Oh, come all ye grateful deadheads to the concert. Oh, come grateful deadheads and camp in the streets. Bring rolling papers. That's what deadheads do. Some floor seats. We've got them for four weeks. Oh, come get us some floor seats to see

the Lord. The Lord? Sacrilege. Come all you hippies. I thought it was going to be see the dead. Well, you'll like the end here. Don't wash your feet.

Hippies don't wash feet. Wear your bell bottoms and your tie-dyed t-shirts. Oh, come let us adore them. We quit our dangerous wars. Oh, gay. Oh, come let us adore them. We quit our day jobs for them. Oh, come let us adore them. Garcia's the Lord.

Garcia's the Lord. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. Early on, I was thinking I thought that may have been written from the point of view of someone who was a deadhead or or and with a positive spin on it but when they get to we quit our day jobs for them was this was this like from opiate anthony or something like that bob rivers the same guy who did uh walking around

in women's underwear and he's he's like uh he's like from the 80s i think this song was from like 87 or 88 from his like Wicked Christmas album. He's like a modern day Alan Sherman. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. What are you talking about? Alan Sherman, he did a song about the Beatles that I would always bring up in the Comedy Bang Bang Room that I thought was so funny.

But it's like a guy like complaining about a hip band or like a pretty popular band. Complaining about a hip band or like a pretty popular band. Well, because it had to feel like the buzzwords, you know, like bell bottoms is like, yeah, that's like a 70s thing. And there are hippies that wore bell bottoms, but it feels like if you searched Wikipedia for like making fun of hippies, bell bottoms would come up. It's not written with love. Well, it was written in, it came out in 87, 87 or 88. I couldn't, there was discrepancies in the info online.

But it's late 80s, Grateful Dead, which is like, you know, all the yuppies. It's like become like they're playing in big, huge stadiums and stuff. The touch heads. His whole thing is like, is like throwbacks to the 60s and bring your tie-dyed t-shirts. Yeah.

Right. They were like a very popular charting band playing stadiums. And he's like, oh, those old burnouts from back in the day. But it's just one of those great examples of like, hmm, oh, come all ye grateful deadheads. He's not even like this. Oh, come all ye faithful. He said grateful. And then I can say deadheads afterwards.

Oh, this song is great. I feel like they were on the floor seats line fit nice. A lot of them did. He's good. You did a good job. He's great. He's a good craftsman. Also, you know, when it started, I had to listen real close to get you know there's

a joke afoot it sounded so good it fooled me i know it sounds good he also did uh i'm sure you heard this one the 12 pains of christmas that's like uh meeting my in-laws all the hangovers customer service yeah writing all the gift cards. I, uh, I had never heard that song, but I, last Christmas I went looking for grateful dead Christmas songs.

Just, I was like putting together a Christmas playlist for, for a Christmas party or something. And I was like, Ooh, I wonder what, what, what the dead has.

And I assumed with their giant catalog and then their billions of live tapes that there would be so many options. And they specifically avoided Christmas music. Like you would think that they would just accidentally have a ton. But I found there's like a Run Run Rudolph that like came out of a jam one time. And there's like a few little moments that happened in shows that were caught live. But they never once caved and put out like the Christmas song. They totally feel like a band that was like totally uninterested or didn't even like think to do it.

Yeah. They're godless heathens. They didn't want to accidentally pay tribute to our Lord and Savior. But yeah, that was, so that's my favorite holiday song. That's a very good one. Good job, Mike. Good pick. I liked it. You guys both have two really good ones. Good job, Mike. Good pick. I liked it.

You guys both have two really good ones. Unfortunately, I got to blow them out of the water. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, shit. Oh, no, no, no. Tim, don't. You guys both just shit your pants, didn't you? Mm-hmm.

Well, so I said to myself, Tim, favorite Christmas song. And part of this was easy for me. And then part was struggle. You know, like I got a lot of, thanks for hearing me out on this. Yeah. Yeah. It's just tough. I, you know, there, there's a lot of songs that I most certainly very much love and we'll talk about all the runners up pretty soon, but good. Great. Instantly I said, Tim, there's this old song that I've always loved that always tugs at my heartstrings. It's a Christmas song. Lots of people like to think that it's associated with a different crisp with a different holiday, but it's a Christmas song.

And before I play it, I'm actually going to come right out and say it. I'm talking about a certain little old song called Old Lang Syne. Now that's a New Year's Day song. It has evolved to be a New Year's Eve song. Originally it was just a song sung, but here's the thing. When you think of It's a Wonderful Life and when they're all singing it, that is not New Year's. That is Christmas Eve. He's right. Mikey's got us by the balls. You're hearkening back to a time when Santa Claus was depicted as like a young spry man with a burlap sack on his back.

I'll hearken to whatever the fuck I want to hearken to, okay? All right, all right. It's in the famous song. But who are you to say that Frank Capra was wrong, okay? The guy knows his stuff, but here now follow me on this journey. Yeah. I then was presented with a bit of a problem because Tim, that's an old traditional song written by the great poet,

Robert Burns, Scottish poet laureate. No, we know Tim. Yeah. Robert Burns. Took the words out of my mouth. Yeah.

But then I said, I got to play this song for the guys. I got my boys on the pod and they're gonna be scrutinizing this so what version am i gonna pick to play and and when you go on spotify you go on apple music sure there's some interesting versions there's there's there's traditional ones uh that are very sweet but they're kind of dated and then there's new ones that are trying to be cool they're more modern but they're kind of dated. And then there's new ones that are trying to be cool. They're more modern, but they're kind of tacky.

So I kind of was in a bit of a position here where I had the song. I can't imagine the position you were in, Tim. Thank you. Sounds awful. You guys, I appreciate the empathy here because this was really hard for me. So basically what I had to do, which is what anyone would do in my situation, was I kind of just went ahead and recorded the definitive version myself and now we have one and go ahead and hit play whoa whoa oh wow wow yeah so now we finally have the definitive one we're done we're done with that yes we just know we know it that goes into the song hall of

fame and that way everyone's not gonna always be arguing over that and the cool thing i did you guys probably noticed it like i didn't do kind of a flat version that's gonna be old news i i made it kind of funky and kind of awesome right i thought it was cool because it was sort of that minimal beat that a lot of popular music is doing. Yeah. It's very future-proofed. Yeah.

I thought, I'm surprised you made it. I thought that would be made by the likes of Phineas. That's what I was going for. That's pretty good. That's very good. Thank you. So it's,

it's a, if anyone wants to license that from me, I'm a BMI registered songwriter. And if I got rich of this, that would be actually pretty great for my financial situation. My banker would be thrilled. So let's throw those on Twitter. Okay. So I'm going to tweet out the poll with these songs.

Mike, what was the name of yours again? Come All Ye Grateful? Come All Ye Grateful Deadheads. Hold on. So we're going to tweet these again, even though nobody's heard your song before, Tim? Yeah, the people can infer. Just throw them out there. Okay.

Just write definitive version. I can't fit come all ye grateful. I'll just put dead. Yeah, there we go. And it is tweeted. And now the public gets to do their thing. And now we have to wait like a bunch of idiots let's talk runners up what was what were you guys thinking well i had a song so we had this uh record a vinyl record when i was a kid i guess i could just say record uh that was called frosty the snow. But it was like as sung by like the the Caroleer singers or something like that.

The Caroleer Orchestra. Anyway, there was a song on there called Santa's Stuck in the Elevator. I implore you to look it up. It's it's this groovy little this song. This album was filled with such weird songs. There was a song where like a wanted Santa to bring him an acorn or something. There was a song about Mother Goose and all the people in Mother Gooseland. Anyway, this song was about Santa getting stuck in the elevator because when he comes to the city, there's no chimneys.

And it's very groovy and very chilled out and it's like santa's stuck in the elevator hey anyway that was my runner-up but you'd have to hear is he stuck because he's fat is that the idea it doesn't it doesn't even like do a funny thing like that it's just like the elevator got stuck and hey santa's in there all right but look it up man santa's stuck in the elevator hey and tweet us if you've ever heard it before yeah tweet us no matter what christmas songs lend themselves well to being parodied because it's it's so against the uh well-meaning spirit of christmas to do a to do a nice takedown you know right i think that was bob rivers's whole

thing is like just like i'm to shit on your precious little holiday. I think you're also like, it's when there's all these songs that are obligatory that you're going to hear all year, whether you like them or not. So it makes people, you know, a big pop song comes and goes. You don't have to listen to a top 40 song for years and years. But a Christmas song, that's coming around every winter. Do you guys remember The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al?

No. No. God damn. It's good. What album is it on? Amish Paradise? I think it's from Bad Hair Day. I could be wrong. Oh, right. Bad Hair Day. I'm so sorry. I mean, I could be wrong. But the song I really wanted to bring up is, day i'm so sorry i mean i could be wrong but the the song i really wanted to bring up is did you know that hip-hop duo outcasts first single was off a christmas compilation really what they thought

the idea was cheesy but their label wanted to come out with a um with a christmas record and they were desperate to come out with something so they they came out with this song called Players Ball and it's since been released in a less Christmas version. Yeah, right? I've heard this before. And the one we all know still starts with like sleigh bells, but it doesn't feel at all Christmassy. This is the

original Christmas version. Let's wait until the chorus because I think they say on Christmas Day day in the in the christmas version i like this uh the guitar it's. We can fast forward this in the edit. Oh, deck the halls. Yeah. Yeah, they're getting some Christmas stuff snuck in. Chorus is coming.

Here we go. It's very Bootsy Collins. Yeah, there it is. I love it. They're cool. They are very cool. We should have them on the pod. Would they appear together, Big Boy and Andre? I feel like they would want to do separate episodes. Yeah, I think they're pals. I hope they're pals.

Right, but would they still want to come on this together? Well, they wouldn't want to come on this podcast at all. Let's be clear about that. I heard Andre 3000 on Broken Record with Malcolm Gladwell. So if he did that one, it's very likely he'd want to come on. So he's doing podcasts. Okay, that's good. He's doing podcasts and he likes to have conversations with intellectuals.

My runner up that I almost went with, my my favorite if i'm not allowed to record my own versions my favorite christmas song is uh fairy tale of new york by the pogues oh yeah fantastic song tugs at the heartstrings it's both sassy and profane but also has a lot of heart but and i listened to it today when i was doing my research and it reminded me of this funny story we heard from people who worked at SNL in the 80s that when, you know, Shane McGowan is like, he's a, he was partied out. He drinks a lot. Yes. We should have him on the podcast. played on SNL in the 80s, before the show, there was a sketch that was set at a bar and there was a flat fake bar and there were fake bottles of fake whiskey on the set.

And during rehearsal, Shane McGowan stumbled onto the stage in the middle of a rehearsal, pulled a fake bottle of whiskey off of the bar, and then stumbled out back to his dressing room, and it seems drank that bottle of fake whiskey. Nasty. It didn't know or it didn't under... Wow. Could you imagine being that drunk all the time and just

like actually functioning, like being such a high-functioning alcoholic? He's still going strong. Yeah. He's wild. Some people are cut out for it. I i'm no pogue no me neither we just we just weren't born into we don't have the genes but i agree that is a that is that is a nice song you got there tim oh give it a listen everybody it's uh it's beautiful what's the name of that track again fairy tale of new york by the pogues it was was on, they put it out as a single first, but then the album it was on is a really good album,

If I Should Fall from Grace With God. Not a Christmas album. So they did the cool kind of thing where it's like, hey. Interesting, interesting. Just a track on this cool album happens to be about Christmas. And then also another run up of mine, of course, Springsteen, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Come on. Oh, yeah, yeah. He belts

that one out. Yeah, that's a fun one. He played that, I think, when we saw him, didn't he? When did we see him? Yeah, he did. And it was like September. Yeah. I think my girlfriend saw him in Bonnaroo, at Bonnaroo once. And you know how he does that thing where people hold up signs of what songs they want

him to play and he picks out the signs. Somebody had that and he was like, oh, a little too warm for that one. Yeah, Bonnaroo's in June, right? Yeah. Like, no, Bonnaroo's in late November. What a weird guy. A little too warm. What a weird stickler.

He's sensitive. As we were talking about like Christmas songs and stuff on this podcast. No, as we were talking about like what picking what Christmas song. There's always a lyric in Holly Jolly Christmas that I think is so strange. You know, the part where he's like, hey, ho, the mistletoe hung where you can see somebody waits for you. Kiss her once for me. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

This idea of like kissing someone and being like, hey, that one was for Burl Ives. I do not understand. Like kiss her once for me. I just don't. I never understood what that meant. I do that. Anytime I kind of do anything sexual with anyone, I lean in afterwards and say,

that was for the snowman in Rudolph. Yeah. That was for Burl. I feel like that's a wartime thing. Like your war buddies, you're like, hey, if you ever make it back, give your girl a few extra pumps for me. Yeah, he said kiss, but it could be anything.

It would like, you know, do a few extra 69s for me. For me. I think it just means like, hey, you know, really live that life for those of us who maybe aren't living it. I gotcha, I gotcha. Well, anytime I'm in any type of romantic situation, I'm not going to be thinking about Burl Ives. Sorry to tell you. To be clear, when I do that, I do say like, hey, give your girl a few pumps, but tell them they're from me, the J-man. And Burl Ives together.

These are from me and Burl. Oh, jeez. We'll be cutting that from there. That's a definite cut. That's a cut. Are we ready to hear the results of the competition? Oh, my God. Are we there already?

I've got some data coming in if you guys are ready to hear it. Does the data agree with what I want or is it data that I might not want? I don't know what you want because I mean, I don't know whether you just want to win or whether you are the producer of a podcast that you just want to be really interesting. I don't even know if I'm done talking about christmas songs yet okay we can still we can keep talking about them what do we got well what do you got yeah what do you got okay here's the data coming in from twitter.com um now i was not able to fill you know when you do a twitter poll you can't uh you can only write so much so i couldn't spell out Bootsy Collins in its entirety.

It was Bootsy C. Bootsy C. Of the three songs. Well, I'll do third place first and then I'll announce the mega winner. Coming in third place was Silent Night by Bootsy C. That's bullshit. If these people had heard the song. They might think. Yeah.

You know, that's the thing. The, this is a, they had to, they had to just go by what was in the Twitter poll and that leaves two songs. The winner will be, I'm doing this America's funniest home video style. I tell you the winner. Yeah, we know. The winner with 69% of the vote was old Lang Zine by Tim K. Oh, Timmy wins. Winner with 69% of the vote was Old Lang Syne by Tim K. Oh.

Timmy wins. Tim, I don't like it. That's all fucked up. That's all crazy. But not so bad with 17% come all ye grateful dead. And I couldn't fit heads. We should have said the songs in this have to be on a major label record release. You should have said that. You mean to tell record release you should have said that you mean to tell me that the the song that won was the one that nobody had heard before do you think that they had heard

bootsy collins's version of silent night if i i a vinyl audiophile hadn't even heard it you don't own any vinyl i a touch head who loves the Grateful Dead, had not even heard that parody song? Unbelievable. This is fucked. It's fucked up, but let's agree that it's like a really great victory for me. We'll have to pull it aside. The pollsters won. You're telling me that everyone's favorite Christmas song is associated with New Year's.

And they haven't heard it before. And Tim made it this week. with New Year's. And they haven't heard it before, and Tim made it this week. If somebody associates something with some other thing, you know where I'm going with this. I'm right.

No, you're right. Mike, let's drop it. The people have spoken. He's got us over the barrel. Yeah. So, officially, the winner of the competition was Au Lang Syne written by Robert Burns, performed by Tim Kalpakis. And it was cool because it had modern production. Everyone thought it was funky.

Yeah, that was very modern. Let's hear it. Let's pull that up one more time. It bears a repeat. Listen. Here's the favorite song of this podcast in the year 2020. A fool. Hell yeah. A Lang Syne. Oh, yeah, listen. Here's the favorite song of this podcast in the year 2020. Hell yeah.

Oh, yeah, baby. He's got the attitude, too. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I will take a cup of cappuccino. Yeah. A little reverb on that vocal.

Right, right. That's got some weird A little reverb on that vocal. That's got some weird funky shit on it. That's cool. It's nice and quick. It's not one of these long, drawn-out Christmas songs. No, it's not going to bore you. And the thing is, it grows on you, right? Right.

Folk! Folk! Yes. And it's just the chorus. You don't waste time. No, you don't want verses. People don't like verses. You don't need verses in songs.

There's a saying, don't bore us, get to the chorus. Right. Oh, I heard Dave Grohl say that one time when he was talking about Aerosmith. Don't bore me, Get to the core me. He would say that in regards to Steven Tyler himself. Well, here's the thing. I don't like Aerosmith.

In fact, I'm a hater, but there was that one web video where Kyle gas and Dave Grohl are talking about good courses. And Grohl points out that every Aerosmith song starts off. Like the beginning of the song is like loving an elevator or dude looks like a lady. They just get right to it. Yeah.

That's a good idea. Tim, I got to say you're entitled to your opinion and God, I wish we'd all have our opinions, but I do know for a fact that Liv Tyler is a fan of the podcast. Oh, wow. And you talking about her dad like that, she's probably pretty pissed. Well, let me elaborate. Liv, I think you're

a great artist and you're a great actress and it's about time you're no longer in his shadow. Wow. Okay. Well, she's probably going to tell a friend. And Tim, I know how you say that all the Aerosmith songs start with the chorus, but what about the Aerosmith song that starts with

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma Isn't the chorus of that song like Yeah, you're proving my point for me I looked at the lyric sheet It said chorus So that's the chorus So yeah He's got you over the barrel now Actually

I hate to be a stickler but We're talking about songs written by Aerosmith And that song As we established in our Coyote Ug talking about songs written by arrow smith and that song as we established in our coyote ugly episode was written by that lady that wrote can't hide the moonlight oh a patreon exclusive you had to be there well you're you're here now because you're a patreon exclusive can't fight the moonlight yep either way diane warren i think is her name wrote that song so hence she started with i think that we as songwriters can you know take that into account that it's like don't You could also start a song with boom, boom, boom.

Hey. Mike Hanford on the High Life bottle. Yeah, I was hoping to really get different tones out of that instead of just the one. I don't know why you were hoping that. I want to go. You were squeezing the glass harder hoping that. Well, folks, it's been settled.

For the calendar year of 2020, this podcast's favorite Christmas song is Auld Lang Syne as performed by Timothy Jordan Kalpakas. Nice. And I have bragging rights, bragging rights for the whole year to come. All year?

God, jeez. And now we pivot to another segment, a recurring segment called Who's That Knocking at Our Email Door? Oh! This comes from Gavin H. Hey, sloppy boys. Loving the

pod in quotation marks. I don't know what that's about. He's probably quoting somebody specific. Just Patreon'd you. Very cool. I like, he's back on my good side. Yeah. Love this guy. Nice. He's in. He's smart with his money. Wanted to tell you about this stuff I recently discovered called L-cysteine. L-cysteine. L, okay. It's L hyphen cyst, like the kind you don't want. EIN, L-cysteine. Okay. I swear I don't sell this product.

I just love spreading the word. Okay. It's an amino acid. Recent studies suggest that it binds to and eliminates, oh Jesus, acetaldehyde from your body, bypassing the liver. This stuff works wonders.

My wife swears by it too. It pretty much cuts hangover symptoms in half, if not eliminating most of it altogether. I dissolve one 500 milligram pill in water immediately after drinking a thousand milligrams. If it's a rager, give it a shot. Even after a few drinks, I sometimes take it to reduce headaches, et cetera. I've been a fan for a while. I was stoked to see you decided to cast. Thanks and good luck, Gavin. So he says pod up top and then at the end he says cast. Yeah, I know. He bookended

it. Huh. I like the way Gavin writes. Do you think this is Gavin Rossdale? You think he's hiding his it was Gavin H, but do you think it's he just didn't curve the top of that H into an R? Did he mention glycerine at any point when he was talking about chemicals in the blood? No.

Did he at the end say, everything's Zen, Gavin? No, he didn't say that. So it's probably not him. I'm excited about this product and I'm going to try it. We've discussed this on the pod, guys. Remember, I did a whole science lecture where I said that when you get drunk, it's not the actual alcohol that you're feeling, but alcohol goes into your body and then your body releases acetaldehyde and then, which is poisonous. So to, to combat the acetaldehyde, your body puts out something called ADH2 or something, and then that kills the evil

stuff. And that's the pleasurable feeling. So I think what this guy has found is that you can skip straight to the good enzyme without having too much of that evil enzyme. And that's the one that makes you feel all beat up. Right on. Okay. My question is this, why is our body producing acetaldehyde in the first place? I don't want that evil junk. Me too. I'm going to have that gland taken out.

I just want to feel good. What if the three of us find out which gland makes that stuff and we cut it out? Yeah. It's funny to think of like, nobody knows what it is, but if the three of us can find it, as if like doctors don't know what's going on. That could be a booze news thing. We do some real science here for once. Yeah, hey, so we cut ourselves open and we took out some glands and we're not doing so great.

But think about this, guys. We've talked about how we would love to be the three stars of a major studio film, one of those summer blockbusters. What's everybody's favorite film? Limitless. Right. Where a guy kind of unlocks, he has a pill that unlocks the full potential of his brain. Yeah. So what about three guys who get rid of their glands?

What if we take the Limitless pill so we can be smart enough to figure out what are the glands are? Yeah. Ditch them. This could be in the Limit could be in the limitless universe. Guess who's guest starring in it right at the end. We were having a big party. Who shows up?

Gavin H. Oh my God. Gavin H. I thought you were gonna say Bradley C. Yeah. I'm talking about Gavin H. The guy who brought this idea to our attention. What if we get a Groot?

Uh, and, and Bradley Cooper does the voice. Yeah. Well, he does Rocket Raccoon, Tim. It would be a take on his other character from that series, but still. Yes, but still. It'll be fun.

And he doesn't just say, I am Groot. He says everything you can think of. So we're going to get to work on this screenplay. It's Limitless 2. And if we end up doing the surgery on ourselves, that'll be a booze news segment in the future. Yeah, if we do the surgery, we should probably film that and then put that in the movie too. That's smart because all that

content, it could also be extras for online if you want to share or click or anything. Right, right. Hey, check this out. If you like this, check this out. You know, eventually you've seen the whole movie. You didn't realize that you paid. Man, that'd be great if we could get Bradley Cooper to reprise several of his roles in this movie i could imagine um you know everybody loved the song shallow when it was a duet but imagine if he's singing the male part and then the three of us

on three-part harmony on the lady gaga part that might be nice that might sound just that might sound just right you know what i'd like to see see? People are always doing the face swapping online, I guess. Oh, yeah, the deep fake. Yeah, yeah. Deep fake. I'd like to see Rocket the Raccoon on Silver Linings Playbook, Bradley Cooper. Yeah, let's put him in some scenes with De Niro, see how he fares then. Put him in some scenes with De Niro. See how he fares then. He cowers.

The raccoon can't handle it. Do they, on that face swap app, like when you see a deep fake like that, does it also then the character reacts the way that that raccoon would have? Is his name Rocket Raccoon? Yeah. Rocky Raccoon. Close to Rocky Raccoon.

I wonder if there's been some legal action taken by the good people over at beetle corp. Mike, you're so litigious. All you seem to care about is who's suing, who, who has whose balls and advice. Yeah,

I know. I should go to law school, teach some of this shit. Hey, I'm here to teach. I'm on a podcast. Okay. Well teach us. Then where would you be?

They'd call your bluff, Mike. Yeah, they wouldn't know where to find me. I'd be in Mexico with the cash. What cash? That cash they paid me to teach all these classes. The tuition, baby. It's big bucks. Yeah, that's tuition, man.

Sure, but they would pay you, that would be like the first week of your salary and then you left? That's right. Not with the deal he's going to ink up. Because the first week of any class is, alright, let's just get used to the room. No, Mike, you walk into that, you walk on

campus and be like, money up front. Money up front. I don't talk. I go to interviews, job interviews, and I say, you pay me for I don't talk. I don't talk. I go to interviews, job interviews. And I, uh, I say you pay me for this interview right now. And then I'll talk.

If you've got a question for the boys, email us at the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. All right, folks, that's been the blowout talking about the best Christmas song ever. And I guess, uh, we know what that is now.

So take it easy. Uh, we know what that is now. So take it easy. Stay in that holiday spirit. It's a nice spot to be in. And, geez, if you like the podcast, tell a friend. Why not? And here to play us out is my song for the third time. Merry Christmas, everyone.

And a happy new year. A four-year-old. A land, gang, zone. My dear. Oh,. A-lang-ang-zon. My dear. Oh, yeah. For all. Are you saying my dude? Lang-ang-zon. Yeah.

I will take. It's so cool. I will take. I can. It's yet. For all. Come on. Come on.

Lang-ang-zon. Oh, hell yeah.