The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] Questions for Lennon with Scotty Nelson

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode of Questions for Lennon, our monthly bonus episode available to Patreon subscribers.Visit patreon.com/thesloppyboys for more! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, welcome to questions for Lennon, the advice podcast where we answer advice questions emailed in from our listeners. I'm your host, European rock and roll guitarist, John Lennon. Now, before we get the show going, we've got a great show, but I've got to say, you know, I don't lean on the audience very much, but I need you now more than ever. We're here, it's October, it's Halloween season. And as some of you know, I put on a pretty a pretty good Halloween party every single year. I've been doing it for probably the last five years. It's fantastic. Now, I've got a big problem here. I need a Dracula. I'm in desperate search of a Dracula.

So if you haven't been to one of my parties, my Halloween parties, I have a sort of a chamber of a ghouls chamber, a band, you know, a sort of chamber music. It's not a very, it's not a fun Halloween party. It's very serious and somber, sort of a masquerade type thing. It's not bobbing for apples and that thing. Anyway, my Dracula, the guy I use every year, he's great. He plays violin in the little band and he's out. He can't make it this year. We don't know where he is. Well, I spoke to him. He's on a cruise ship. He's out at sea somewhere and they this year. We don't know where he is. Well, I spoke to him. He's on a cruise ship. He's out at sea somewhere and they're lost. They don't know where they are. And he doesn't think he's going to get back in time. So if you yourself are someone who dresses up as

Dracula and knows how to play the violin, if you know someone like that, we are in desperate need of you for the party. That's, you know, I can't pay you. And I, I mean, I could pay her, but I won't, I don't pay my performers, but if you, if you know anyone, just, you know, give me a phone call. I'll, I'll you probably have my number. I talk about my phone number all the time on the podcast. So you'll probably have it get to me as fast as you can. This is a big, serious problem. Now let's get on with the show. Now enough business for one business for one hot second.

We got a great guest. I've known this guy. I know this guy. Geez, he came probably to the first Halloween party, then he skipped the next one, and he came to the next three after that. So he's been to four out of the five Halloween parties. I love this guy. Please welcome Scotty Nelson.

John, how are you? How the fuck are you? I'm doing great, Scotty. I was at the last couple parties, man. You're a fire, brother. You throw some parties, man. We do throw. I say we because it's a team. I got a small team.

My assistant and my assistant's assistant helped me put this party together. I like the way you say fire. You've been on TikTok recently. I've been checking out TikToks, checking out music, checking out different bars to go to, different music venues, of course. I got shown TikTok by a couple of guys who run security for me. They showed me, they're looking at their phones. Everybody's obsessed with their phones. I asked them one day, I was just having a cigarette. I was just outside literally having a cigarette. And someone was looking at their phone. I said, there can't possibly be that much information on that device.

And they handed me the phone. And all of a sudden, I'm scrolling. I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to it like I am to cigarettes. You can't stop. You know, it's so funny because I've always thought cigarettes are thin and your phone is thin. Are people just addicted to thin things? I haven't looked

into it too much but it's a thought that comes to me every now and again thin women no i don't i know that's your vice now scottie i got to bring a technical question up to you you sound like you're peaking a little bit can we bring the the in the oh how would you say it the the input volume a little down peakingaking. All right. You know, you've worked in the music world. I've worked in the music world for years. I know exactly what you mean when you say peaking. That sounds a lot better to me.

I was standing so close to the microphone. I mean, I'm using Marshall amps in here. I'm using cymbals and guitars usually in here. So I got things turned up to a 11. And when you, and you're like, God,

I love that movie. Isn't that just a funny book. And that's a real good shot of the rock and roll lifestyle. Yeah. It's very accurate. You know, the Tori asked me the funny things that happen. I want to keep a journal.

I want to, I want to make a movie about my life. I want to make a movie about my life going on tour. The strange people that come up to you, strange stories you hear from different musicians, the drinking stories, the fighting stories. The drinks and fights, all backstage, sometimes on stage. You want to run in with your guitarist. Now, hold on. We got to, whoa, back it up just a few seconds. Whoa, back it up just a few seconds. We need to know. The audience needs to know who you are.

I know you're a Scottie Nelson rock and roll legend. What bands are you playing with these days? What bands have you played with? I know you're touring all the time. You don't have a residence, do you? You're just on a tour bus. No residence. I'm into super groups right now.

I play with a couple of super groups right now. I'm in one called the Filthy Bastards. You might have heard of some of the crew in that one. I got Buckethead on lead. God, he's so fast, isn't he? called the filthy bastards you might have heard of some of the crew in that one i got buckethead on lead god he's so fast isn't he oh he's so he's so quick with the guitar the things he can do with his two hands i couldn't do with my four feet uh let's see i got buckethead guitar i got my our buddy lars ulrich on the set back there. I just saw him in Central Park. He was playing with Metallica Boys, you know, Metallica. At the Central Park, there was some global.

It was a festival of some sort. He doesn't quit either. You know, put him and Buckethead together. You're going to break your neck trying to look back and forth with them. Yeah, and you think those two are a bit too much to be around? Basically, I got less Claypool. Okay. those two are a bit too much to be around at base i got less claypool okay um when can i get tickets and you have to get me backstage i need to meet less yeah absolutely we'll bring you backstage john it'll be nice to have a legend back there we had dylan backstage in buffalo a couple weeks ago

but we're just heading up you know northern united states bozeman, Fargo, St. Paul, Peoria, Illinois. How's Robert doing these days? You know, you hear his voice isn't what it used to be, but he's still touring, man. The guy is on the move. Yeah, he's sick all the time. He's sick all the time. God bless Bob. Truly, I'm anticipating missing him very much from the world, his voice, his poetry,

but he's very sick, man. He's been sick for about two decades now. He's wonderful. You know, he's touring all the time. He and I got together. We had lunch a couple, God, this is probably back in July. It was July because there were fireworks going off, and I remember we said, let's have a lunch right at about 11 o'clock, 10 o'clock near the East River. And we'll see some fireworks go off and have lunch. And he said that that would be great. You know, the way his will. Okay, I think I can do that.

And you never know if you're going to get Bob. You never know if he's going to come out. Well, some type of miracle, he showed up. We were eating a Caesar salad. Caesar? Did he do the anchovies? I know. But I know Bobby's a picky eater. He will. You know, and he always does it. Can I have some anchovies with some Caesar salad around it? And, you know, yeah, that's fine, because it gets me every time, too. And I said, well, you're just going to eat. Oh, he's going to have a Caesar salad.

I love this. Yeah. So he said he said to me, he said, we got to get back in the studio. I said, Beck, we've never been in the studio. And he said, I want to redo the Weezer Blue album the way it was supposed to be done. He wants to redo Weezer Blue. Incredible, man. I would love to listen to Weezer Blue and Bob. Because he wrote all those songs for those guys. And they bought him because I think Rivers Rivers is God, he comes from money.

We all know he comes from his father invented silicone chips or something like that. Yeah. He, he got all the money and he bought all Bob's Dylan's songs. And he said, they, they butchered them. They ruined them. Great album, but that's not the way it was meant to be done. And we're going to get Rick Ocasek back and we're going to get, do it all together. Yeah.

That's great. be done and we're going to get rick okay so back and we're going to get do it all together yeah that's great cuomo consulted me for green on before before they released green cuomo consulted me there were some sound issues i ended up being in the studio for about 30 days and 30 nights helping those guys whip out songs like hash pipe i was in the sun hash pipe sounds like uh nelson i mean those are the old nelson i heard that i've heard the first verse and i said all right i'm i can i can i'd like to hear this done correctly recorded correctly yeah i got my hash and that's not you know a lot of people think oh must be a drug reference it's a breakfast reference yes yes yeah it's a reference i i wanted it i fought for that lyric to be put

in there because so we're having a meeting over coffee and all these guys were having toast they were having toast they have maybe a donut or something i was working i want sausage eggs and hash browns right now and they said well i don't really know if uh i don't really know if it's that kind of breakfast or whatever and i said i want the sausage in my ass and i want the hash browns in my pipe brother and uh we had a laugh about it we you know kind of calmed down and ended up in the track i love it i love it and it sees those little stories behind songs that you don't get i i've always i fought very hard for on all the beatles albums and all my subsequent uh Lennon and the Plastic Odo but you know the whole yes uh the litany of solo albums that I did and I said I need to do the

song great and then afterwards I will just want 20 seconds of dead air where I can explain the funny you know story behind the song yes every record label you know you go to and again but and at that point I was just going to record labels to do albums. And I would only go with them if they would agree to do this. And none of them would. So I finally just had to put these songs out. But that's all I want. That's all the audience wants, too. They don't even want the song. They'd be happy just with stories. It would be interesting if it was like the song ends, last cymbal crash,

and then just a quick little track afterwards. Hey, guys, hope you enjoy the song. Here's a little background. Here are the instruments it it was used here's the location it was recorded at anyway hope you enjoyed it on to the next one oh that's what it's called you know in this case hash pipe or imagine or whatever you know songs can be named anything yeah i wanted i would love to do a commentary i want to do like cd commentary dvd commentary i was blown away with dvd commentary back in the early 2000s and i always said put put me into my own cds so that i can comment on it as you're listening you're also listening to another track of maybe me and a couple producers couple friends couple rowdy friends talking about the song as it was happening that really is the next

i mean that's the next frontier of music you know a lot of people say it's streaming spotify you know apple tunes whatever it's really just gonna we're gonna go back to cds of course the most yeah best way to listen to music we're going back to cds and we're going to start commentary tracks i think that's really the fourth of the frontier of music and i've said it before you know i've written a few pieces for popular mechanics uh yeah sorry popular science popular mechanics is cars i don't know much about cars at all you know, I've written a few pieces for Popular Mechanics. Yeah. Sorry, Popular Science. Popular Mechanics is cars. I don't know much about cars at all. You know, I don't drive.

You don't drive. I won't drive. What if I gifted you a Corvette or something? Would you get your license then? Don't tempt me. Do not tempt me. Because you know what? Here's the other thing.

Yeah, sure. Give me the car. You're going to pay for the speeding ticket? Baby, you can drive my car in 3d brother i would love that what did you write that song did you write that song baby i did i did well that was yours the other beatles i was at my type right i thought to myself you know it's so big and popular cars we've got to do a car song and all the three beatles and of course, tall George Martin, he's standing over us. What are you going to write next?

What are you going to write? Would you hold on? Let me just type. And then, you know, beep, beep. And they said,

what the hell? Now you're doing sound effects. I said, just sit there. Just sit tight gang, because you're going to be, uh, well,

I don't say this often, but you're going to be fucking wowed. And I wowed them. And they said, John, you did it again. We're taking you out for dinner i got so that whole album i was stuffed because i wrote such great songs that's what a what a

disgustingly cool story man now you came up you brought something up recently you were just talking about at doing these commentary tracks and saying hey Hey, hope you like the song. And you have always had that sort of friendship relationship with the audience. You know, I hope you're liking this. I hope you're doing great. And when you're, I've seen you in concert and you bring people up on stage and just ask the names. You don't even announce it to the crowd. You say, what's your name? Can I make the concert any better for you? Yeah, you do it. Yeah. Actually do it. You move people around, you you get drinks with people a lot of your concerts are

not even you sing the band will play but you're not singing you're getting drinks and refreshments for people yeah i mean so in the 80s in the 1980s i was really turned off on my fans i i seem to be performing in spite of them. I had a very lava hot sort of desire to displease people. That was sort of the mode I was in. I don't know if it was drugs. I was friend to the needle at the time. And I was very, very angry. And as we all know, you know, the events of the early 2000s leading to the storm in New Orleans, I felt like I detached myself from all these people.

What would happen if I was blown away? What would happen if I disappeared? And it really changed me. So I changed the whole tenor of my shows. Nowadays, I'll just show up to a firehouse. I'll show up to where ambulances are held and I'll just set up an amp and go. Well, I appreciate that story. I love that story. I love that you got yourself better. And I've never said this to you because I'm always so proud. I'm such a proud guy.

I don't want to show other people that I respect them. But your, your album after you made the change out like a light, you know, with you on the cover of the album, it was you sort of blowing onto a candle and it just that imagery right there. You could be gone just like that. And the whole album is all just, it told me a part. It told me to pieces. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, that's a compliment coming from me.

I have a negative compliment out like a light it was it was a simple concept it was to extend a hand uh the olive branch so to speak though i couldn't i couldn't do it i i really couldn't do it without putting uh like the i had the front was me the front of me blowing up the candle but the back you saw of course i was wearing the diaper i still had to have a little bit of my uh i still had a lot of my little bad boy sense of humor in there i didn't want to get caught jester yeah exactly i that was just a little taste of people to be like wow this is something this is he's really changing something but then they flip the back to see all the tracks and i'm in my diaper i just wanted to kind of give a little

wink to the guys who've been there for decades, even in my lowest. That's that's one that's you know, you got the front for the audience, the back. That's for the crew, guys. The guys. Yeah. Oh, that's absolutely for the guys setting up the shows. That's where the guys work in 24 hour shifts at the arenas. You still doing you still doing your crew only Thanksgivings? I still do a crew only Thanksgivings i still do a curly thanksgivings had to cancel last year because of omicron uh 2020 we had it don't regret it 2021 had it don't regret it 2022 omicron hit us fast uh that came out of nowhere yeah it came out of nowhere. But, yeah, so we didn't have it last year.

I was thinking, I'm already looking in the future. So 2022, that's this Thanksgiving. I must have been thinking about a Christmas. Anyway, cruelty Thanksgiving this year. We're going to be doing it at United Center, Chicago, Illinois. Rented out one of the skyboxes there. Right. So we're going to be doing it during a bulls game oh god oh that's got to be that's great that's going to be a lot of fun yeah i

know rodman i knew jerry reinsdorf i knew jerry kraus right i know you you marry you were the um the officiant at the rodman madonna wedding will you not yes yes i was yeah yeah you i i didn't make it to the ceremony because you know i was uh myself i was a little late i've never been good with making events on time but i was at the reception and the way you the the foul things that were coming out of your mouth you know you had the you you imposed this thing i've never heard this tradition before but you said it's a tradition to me we're gonna do a uh you know honeymoon suggestion time and boy you went on a tirade of what those two should get up to and things i had no idea about don't want to repeat them but the some of the filth that came out of your mouth it was poetry uh but it was filthy yeah yeah i i i by my my

tongue has a mind of its own sometimes at that point I was a few knob creeks deep into that ceremony. And, uh, yeah, I, I can't even, I can't even imagine what I was saying. I'm sure I was talking about back fucking. I'm sure I was talking about, uh, uh, getting your, getting your flies chopped. I'm sure I was talking about hot oils and all that. You were saying some, a lot of emphasis was putting put on, you know, Hey Madonna, I'm sure you could get a whole knee in there.

And I did not, the imagery was specific, but I still don't understand how that could work. Just physically. I don't know how they do it. I don't know if they got those in England, but a United States is full of these. I love it. Hey, you know what?

While we do something, while we do what we set out to do, and we'll answer a few advice questions, see if we can help some of these people out. All right, sounds good, man. Are we taking any breaks for ads? No, no, no. This is ad-free.

This is behind the Patreon wall. This is ad-free. No kidding. No kidding. I love that. It's, you know, because people pay up front. And you don't want to, like you at your shows, they pay up front. They're there to have a good time.

You don't, at a show, you don't have a, you know, a blimp float by and say, buy another pack of Corona. You know what I mean? Would you mind if I shouted out one of my new business ventures? Oh, please. Oh, that is, we would do that all the time, sure. Yeah. Do you want me to do it now um hmm yes i'm getting a i'm hearing you sing from the engineer yes we do the let's do that now all right i'm starting a new women's clothing line called jupiter jeans

these are the jeans these aren't grandpa's jeans these aren't grandma's jeans these jeans have metal clasps chains holes in them worn down to the very last thread on the knees and ass. Jupiter jeans you can wear with a black tee. You can dress them up with a black hat. It doesn't matter. Ladies, get into a pair of Jupiter jeans before I do. I love it. Now, hold on. Where can we find these? And do you have a promo code? Yeah, absolutely. We can get it at the Slipknot flagship store in New York City. We're going to be getting a couple racks out there. Use promo code FILTHYBASTARD for 30% off when you buy two pairs. And we'll also be popping up random malls, random stadiums.

In the middle of a show, we might just set up a couple racks in the back where you can buy while you're listening to some cool tunes. It's fun. I love it. Jupiter jeans, the jeans that make you scream. Okay. Jupiter jeans, yeah. Here we go. Good morning, John and guest.

Good morning. This person doesn't know that you are strictly a night wolf. Yeah, my morning's about 9 p.m. Right. So, you know, apologies for this person. Okay. I'm turning 30 next month, and my GF wants to do something big for me. What should we do?

Big blowout bash? Trip to Fiji? What's the best way to turn 30? Barry. That's coming in from Barry. He wants to know. He wants something big. His girlfriend. You know, that's great. You got a girlfriend who wants to give you a big

blowout party. Fantastic. Yeah, I mean, 30 years old, that's a big age. You know, my 20s, I don't remember my 20s very well. I was into pills at the moment. I didn't need a little green pill that I didn't like. But when I turned 30, I remember I was with Joe Namath at that time, another one of my sports friends. I have a lot of sports friends, music friends, writer friends. I was with Joe Namath, and at that time, we were trying to plan a parade float. We were doing a special parade.

It was like a doodah parade, a Father's Day parade, and they wanted me and Joe to do a float together. And I spent my 30th birthday, I shit you not, in about a 110 degree warehouse, stapling little flowers to a tractor trailer with the great Joe Namath. Get out of town. You can't make those stories up. God, you need to write that memoir. You've got so many damn damn stories you need to find the right ghostwriter your problem is and i'm not telling tales out of school but your problem has always been you get a ghostwriter in the room and within a week you've turned on he or she him

or her and you're screaming at them you're not getting it down right let me type you don't trust that people are not typing things correctly yes and that's what the ghost but you also won't sit down and write it yourself i can't i don't have the time i don't have time i'm in the studio too often on the road too often i'm doing too many things like this uh i mean at this point for ghostwriters i'm looking at dean coons i think he would be great uh crichton passed away unfortunately i always wanted him to help ghostwrite uh for me uh but at this point it's coons i could maybe stretch for stephen king but uh i i think i think in terms of tone those guys really capture my essence a little spooky a little i think that would be uh yeah maybe even turn it in some type of sort of a thriller mystery type novel that's my life you're sort of starting

out the scotty nelson story and then all of a sudden wait there's a whodunit and by the end and i'm assuming this is going to be a many volume piece yeah who did it probably me right who did it uh if you're referring to a mountain of cocaine in the 1980s again tails out of school tails out of school but you know school of hard knocks you had a difficult time trying to uh catch um what am i trying to say register that as a trademarked uh saying that only you could say a school of hard knocks yeah yeah very difficult time i remember being i was a key witness in that suit. And a lot of the questions was, is this person serious? And a lot of my answers were,

can I tell you something? I don't effing know. Yeah. I mean, people were just sort of caught up in that lawsuit. They were, they were more concerned about John Lennon sitting on the seat, answering questions about whether or not he saw my creative process and coming up with this is a school of hard knocks but I'm pretty sure I came up with it I I don't know if you came up with the thing that the thing that bugged me out about that whole uh it was a trip really uh the whole uh lawsuit the case everything it was very clear to me it was just an opportunity to meet celebrities such as yourself or myself or any you know number of people we had come in uh

i think alice cooper came in uh ringo i drove with ringo one day so i know he was there but it became very clear to me that it was just a way to get people to see celebrities when they said hey tomorrow for the proceedings, maybe you bring your guitar, acoustic guitar, electric guitar with a little hip amp and play some of the tunes. And I thought to myself, this has gotten out of control. This has nothing to do with the law. This is not a case about copyright infringement on my music or any of the Beatles music. This is where I have to say thank you. And I'm going to have to not come back tomorrow. Yeah, it was a weird time.

David Lee Roth, as you remember, showing up in a bailiff's uniform. And he was the standing bailiff for about half an hour before anybody caught him. That was my life. That was my life for many years. Every situation I got myself into, serious or not, it turned into a weird rock and roll bachelor party environment now for 30th birthdays I remember my 30th I was locked in a I accidentally locked myself inside of a movie theater because I wanted to do a movie theater lock-in with all

my friends we were going to see the uh this was this would have been i was 30 this would have been we want to watch the mash movie and i was gonna have all my friends locked in and i got there early to the day early to help out i just wanted to get the place all set i got the keys from the guy because the guy who ran the theater wasn't to be there so i went in i wanted to set up some food and some blankets and pillows and stuff because it's you know it's a long movie and i've locked myself in the fucking place oh no and here's the problem you'd think okay so on your actual birthday the next day people come in on the invitations i had written the wrong address no i'm you know you know me how i do i wrote 25 52nd street when it was 52 25th street

get the fuck out so everyone is up at the wrong address i'm locked inside this is before cell phones you remember before cell phones i know i'm still still getting over the invention you're right yes i i uh yes you got to get rid of the beeper but we'll talk about that maybe off the air this was i'm stuck in there and everyone of course is thinking oh john lennon's doing he's the funny silly beetle he's probably doing one of his tricks i regretted you know 30 years of doing pranks and tricks all the way up to that uh ultimately i ended up having a great time watching mash by myself and reflecting on the first 30 years of my life and eating as much popcorn as i could probably fit into my whole body that's great and and as i if i'm getting this right you i mean when it's a lock-in they lock you it's no questions asked

if the lock-in starts at 10 the doors lock the keys are gone and you're in there right you have to well it would keeping with tradition once it hit time for the party i ate the key as you do as whoever starts yes you eat the key and ate the key as you do as whoever starts yes you eat the key and then you pass it you know whenever you're done eating and that's how you get out every time that's how you get down somebody has to sift through the excrement get the key but that's just the tradition thing and i'm you know i'm a traditionalist so but neither here nor there that was not a great 30th birthday. You seem to have a fun one. But what are we going to do with Barry here? He wants to maybe feed you maybe a trip.

I would say whatever you do, do it in a blimp. Get a blimp. Get a blimp. Yeah, get above it all, man. Think about the cable news Nazis. Think about all the tax the tax man nazis out there hey that's my line okay all right i know that was george brother he well well you know that's one of those things i see that's why i wish the commentary had been on the album so i could freaking remember uh but get above it all yeah look down get a blimp get a bottle of something

nice get get your partner up there no friends no friends right do it exactly i i think your 30th with your your significant other make it about yourself just the two of you above the world think about 30 and think about how you can get 80 more out of this fucking thing all right so yeah yeah get up to 110 you can do it with technology these days you get out there absolutely well good luck with your birthday man barry i hope that helped all right that was good i think i that's, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's the, maybe the first good advice we've given on this podcast.

All right. Hey Lennon. Ooh, I like that. Pretty, pretty casual. Hey Lennon. I started taking photography class. That's great. Yes. I really like it, but every week I feel like everyone else's work is so much more interesting than my dumb pictures of my neighborhood and my dog. You're an artist. What can I do to get inspired to make great art? From Caitlin Ray.

Caitlin Ray. Caitlin. Photography is one of those mediums where it seems so easy, doesn't it? You see someone take a picture. You see books. Ansel Adams, the great ansel adams wild man great ansel adams i miss him and you look at it you say okay he took a picture of a mountain he took a picture of some trees um i think i can do that and i think i can do it pretty

easily well guess what you can't and uh you try something like that you're gonna look like a fool if you put that into a museum or an art gallery, because everyone will laugh at you because you don't know how to do it. That's all I wanted to say about photography. That's all I ever wanted to say. Yeah, I mean, talking about pictures of his neighborhood and dogs, every picture of the neighborhood and dog has already been taken. All the greats have been taken. In the same way, when I started writing music, they said all the great rock and roll songs had are have already been written many by you many by Presley right right so I had to figure out a way okay well I have to then I have to reinvent music and I feel that I did that I started I started doing long beats of silence I started doing sort of soft speaking I started to change my voice a little bit.

Right. Every couple of records, I would have a moment where I would step out of everything and say, this is, this is the singer. Help me get it. Help me get out of here. I'm stuck in the record. And that stuff really scared people and really shocked the world of art that I was in. So for a photographer, I would say, of something that that hasn't had a there hasn't there's no picture of it yet like like a fucking like a face of an like a full in focus face of an alien oh that would be fantastic if you could get an alien's face on a on photography on a piece of photography film oh my god yeah or take take a picture take take a picture about like a couple of guys and a couple of women

just naked sort of covered in blood sitting on like a couch that's shaped like a pair of lips you know something is crazy something wild like that i've never seen before i like that go underneath your house if you have sort of a basement or a way to get underneath the slats of your house go under there and take pictures of all the bugs and all the stones and things that are down there or just find go into the woods and dig up a piece of just dig up bugs and take pictures of bugs i think people would love to see that you'd come in because you'd come in the next day and everyone you know and now you're coming into the next class you're dressed all in black yeah wear a veil wear a black veil johnny cash wear a black veil pair of jupiter jeans right you know the promo code uh filthy bastard 30 off two pairs

anyway i'm getting the giggles because you know i just love advertising so much but anyway you go in there you're dressed all in black. You're wearing those boots. What are those boots called? There's got to be a name for them. They go up to your knees, there's buckles all over them, and they're platform boots, and they're made of rubber. You're wearing those. I call them shit kickers.

I don't know if there's an official word for them. That might be. We'd have to check on the official title for that. Anyway, you're showing up there and now you're showing pictures of dirt and bugs and don't do black and white that's too obvious no it's dirt and it's bugs yeah and the rest of the classmates are looking at you and they say okay last week it was cars and you know street signs and the fucking dog it's a nice dog but it's just a dog like you said said, there's been pictures of them.

Now this person, Caitlin Ray, she's taking pictures of bugs. Something's going on with her. Something wacky happened. And we'll have to, we're not going to talk to her because she's so off-putting right now. I mean, she's so put off by us, it seems. Now we're going to find out who she is

through the pictures. And guess what, Caitlin Ray? You just made a little bit of art because now you got people thinking and talking about you yeah you want the world to think you're crazy we're in a society now where where people think that oh my dream is to have everybody think that i'm normal no man you want to be the biggest freak show in the world. If I could, I would walk around in fucking stilts, man. I swear to God. Just up there, you know, four feet higher than everyone. You get noticed that way.

You definitely get noticed that way. Yeah, man. I just think it's the only way to live your life. Right. A little higher than everyone else. A little higher up than everyone else. You point down and I'm, ha ha. Caitlin, I hope that helped.

All right. Jesus, Scotty, we did it. That's it. We did it. We answered the questions. We got it. We helped people out. I think that's it we did it that's it we answered we answered the questions we got it we helped people out uh i think that's great i think that's great now let me let me turn the the sort of focus back on you just for a second yes where can we see you next where you're touring oh well i got big news for everybody you might have thought it was canceled but i'm gonna be at kaufman stadium in kansas city missouri at

the end of this month we're playing swamp fest we're opening guess who's gonna be there i don't know let's just say his last name is osborne we're not talking about jack i assume no we're not talking about jack we're not talking about fucking jill his last name is osborne we're gonna be about jack we're not talking about jill his last name is osborne we're going to be opening up for him and i don't know maybe we're going to play a couple songs together sort of compile our collective catalogs so to speak but we're going to be rocking it's outdoors there's supposed to be rain that night which i'm very, very, very much looking forward to. I haven't done a rain show since Woodstock 99. I closed that one down. So yeah, we're doing Coffin Stadium. We're going to do a whole, we're going to, I mean, I've been talking a lot about sports recently. I'm going to do a

tour of all the baseball stadiums. Oh God, that would be great. It's called the Dream. You're playing, just watching or playing? I'm going to be playing shows at every single baseball stadium. Great. I cut you off. What is it? What's it called? I'm going to be playing shows at every single baseball stadium. Great. I cut you off. What is it? What's it called? It's going to be called Dreams of Your Father. Everybody's dad wants to visit every baseball park to watch a game there. Well, guess what? They're going to see me there instead of the baseball game. That's sort of the whole concept of the tour. Are you going to trick people. Yeah, trick people. Yeah, I mean, the font and everything for the posters are going to be very kind of loving. Again, we might have like a dad and his son on like the front of the shirt and in the back, they're both wearing diapers.

But yeah, we're going to go to every single ballpark. A couple of them, a couple of them we're going to say are canceled. I'm not going to tell you which ones, because we're initially going to say that all of them are canceled, and then a few of them, we're going to say are canceled. I'm not going to tell you which ones, because we're initially going to say that all of them are canceled. And then a few of them, we're going to say, oh, this one's real. This one is canceled. They're doing a baseball game there instead. We're going to get a whole group of baseball fans to the game to see their team.

And guess what? Lights out, lights up. And I'm going to be on stage with Wards, Buckethead, and Les Claypool. God. Save me. Give me a ticket for one of those shows. Actually, when you come into Citi Field, I'll go to that one. I don't go to Yankee Stadium anymore.

I only go to Citi Field. Okay, you're going to be at Citi. Absolutely, I'll have you backstage, man. And would you please come out and just do a Q&A or something with folks? Would you come out? I would love to. I would love to. I'd rather not sing because I usually don't warm up my voice these days.

I've lost. I had a sheet of paper that tell, you know, a voice warmup, you know, routine. Okay. I can't find the fucking piece of paper and I will not risk, you know, going out on a stage at city field, my beloved city field where the Mets play and trying to sing without a warmed up voice. I'll, I'll ruin my, uh, yeah. I mean, you don't have to sing, you don't have to play any songs. You don't have to do

anything. Just come out and be one with an audience with me, John. We can hold hands. We can raise them together. Whatever you want to do. I would do that. I would love to do that. And you know what? I'll practice a magic trick too. So just in case the conversation goes sort of flat, I can say, hey, well, check this out. We got a card trick. Somebody want to come up and do it? Yeah, I know you. A magic trick you want to practice is make Paul disappear. Watch it, watch it, watch it. We've patched all that stuff up. And, you know, the way we did it and what was said will be released eventually.

We're going to do that as sort of another Apple. Peter Jackson was there and he recorded the whole thing and we're gonna oh cool very soon by the way congratulations on the disney plus gig man whoa all right it was disney you know there's so many streamers out there aren't they there are so many i the first time anybody said what streamers are you on i was like none that's a decoration for a party right i don't think it'll hold cray paper no i'd go right through it right and instead i was then introduced to netflix where i did my animated series and then of course hulu and a couple others i haven't really heard of a new one pops up every day man it seems like it really does seem like it all right let's get out here oh before we go i'm

sure the audience is saying oh scottie n Nelson was at Lennon's first Halloween party. What was he dressed as? And you know what? We're going to tell you right now. Zombie Ninja Turtle. And you did it well. You had one of the, you had a professional help you. I know you did.

Yeah, I did. I guess imagine, imagine if a Ninja Turtle got the, got Shredder on Shredder's best day and then died and was brought back to life. I love it. I absolutely love it. Well, Scotty, thanks so much for coming on the show. John, my God, man, it's been so long. You're an icon, you're an inspiration. I think about you all the time and I really appreciate you. I cannot believe we've had the opportunity to talk today.

Love to love to be thought about. I love to see it. And for the rest of you, good luck out there. you