The Smark Avengers - Vol 3, Ep 40: The Smark Avengers Talk About Worst Deaths In Comics

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

Not like this... not like this. Death and comics go hand in hand but not all deaths are created equal however! Not every hero gets the big, martyr sacrifice to save the world. Sometimes they get blown up by doing something dumb, sometimes they get run over by a truck, and sometimes they're killed slowly overtime by the radioactive nature of their lover's bodily fluids. Join Corey, Dylan, and Jon as they talk about the worst deaths in comic books!

You guys have been recorded just so you know. Okay. Just thought I'd let you know, thought I'd inform you. Not on this call, like in general. You guys have been recorded. Well, I live in a surveillance state, so. Well, that's part of it because you are certainly being surveyed. Yep.

I'm currently being recorded. Correct. So don't say anything. That could get you in trouble. No, no. Hey, fun fact. Actually, this might not mean anything. This probably doesn't mean anything to you guys, but this is our Black Friday episode.

Should we try to sell something? We should. We are obligated to sell something. It's our first ever Black Friday sale. We went from no merchandise to some maybe merchandise if we could slap it together real quick. I mean, how is that going to work? I think honestly, if we want to have this conversation, T-public stores are really simple to get and it's print-on-demand.

You just have to, you know, have a file of what the thing is that you're wanting printed on the t-shirt, the mug, or whatever. I think, Dylan, if you were to, like, if we were to use some of the thumbnails as, like, a thing, we could put, like, your thumbnails on, like, a t-shirt or, like, a coffee mug. or something. Um, if you, if, I mean, I don't know if anybody would, would necessarily buy it, but we could, but it's put on demand. So we don't have to be worried about having a bunch of stock, you know. I mean, we can certainly give it a shot.

Yeah. It's like a bad idea. You could make a baby juggernaut shirt. If we don't have to draw baby juggernaut. Yes, which I'm surprised we haven't done so far. I was going to say, what if we all draw? what we think. Our own addition

Baby Juggernaut. Yes. It can be fun. I think so. Mm-hmm. And then... I call dives on oversized helmet on a small child.

We can't call dibs on it. That's... That's the defining juggernaut treat. It's part of the design. You can't call dibs on his design. We've all come up with this together. So I try to monetize baby juggernaut and steal.

Yeah, well, that's the American coming out of me. Just rude. I'm just thinking of capitalism 24-7. Well, you know. It's in your nature. It's in my nature. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Smart Avengers.

My name is Corey. And with me are Dylan and John. Hey, guys, how are you doing? Hello, I'm good. How are you? That's you bad, John. Yeah. I'm okay.

Good. John, I found something that was really eerie last night that made me think of you. It was a YouTube. It was a picture of you. It made me think of you.

So what it was is it was a YouTube channel that it was like video essays on certain periods and musicians and stuff and it's by someone in the UK because everything is like, centered around that like music that came from your country. And his,

his voice sounds exactly like yours. Like he has your same accent. Why do you think that is? I mean, it doesn't surprise me. There are a lot of clones of me wondering about the place. Like, I see people who look like me all the time,

and it's quite off-putting and scary. It's like, how did someone get my DNA and start spreading it around like this. What's going on here? Where's the conspiracy? What's happening? No conspiracy. It's just a normal

cloning technique that's been going on for many years now where we got your DNA. Legally, I'm not like to tell you how I got that DNA from you, but you know, I've been recording you for months now, so that can't be too much for a surprise. Maybe.

Yeah. That's not that much of a surprise. And, you know, for the right price the cloning people wanted some DNA I happen to have some DNA line and provided it to them

for the right price and you know one thing led to another another 7,000 clones of John in the United Kingdom and we're all better off for it I think yeah except for me

well no your ball you haven't really interacted with the clones so no I hide whenever I see one this is the beginning of a two-part series where we are going to be talking about the always controversial topic at comic books deaths because as the saying goes the only deaths to stick around in marvel and dc are bucky jason todd and uncle ben and they've all come back at some point yes in one in one capacity or another yeah so oops two of them stuck around than one of them keeps coming back is of the times that uncle ben has returned from the dead what forms has you been um clone definitely i imagine i feel like oh man i don't know one time you there's been some like alternate universe uncle ben's have ended up in the marvel universe

Yes, that sounds about right. But Uncle Ben's death of the three names is the only one that's been kind of not permanent in the resurrection area, considering Bucky Barnes has gone on to become the Winter Soldier and Jason Todd went on to become the Red Hood. Those are very iconic deaths, though. You know, Uncle Ben's death, aside from the MCU, was the inciting incident for Peter Parker to become Spider-Man. Bucky Barnes sacrificing himself attempting to stop Baron Zemo's missiles from launching. That was a big pivotal moment for Captain America. And of course, Jason Todd, a bunch of people called a 1-900 number and said, I don't like this character. Kill him, please.

So, you know, all of the people were important. They did. It was very polite. Yeah, I think that's nice. They didn't have to say please. No, they didn't. So this is a two-part series. Part two is going to be the deaths in comics that we thought were the best,

whether that be just well-written or what was inspired because of it and how impactful it was. So that's part two, though. Part one, we're going to take a look at the sad trombones of comic book deaths. These are the worst comic book deaths. You guys good to go with that. I think so. Mm-hmm. I think so.

We're going to go probably your standard formula of each presenting three. Is there been any changes? I know last time we did one of these kinds of lists, there was a face-eating rule. I forgot about that. I've completely forgot about that. What? To be fair, we recorded that episode in like August. So the face eating rule is if you picked the same choice as somebody else to talk about, you got your face eaten.

Yes, I remember this. So Dylan, how's the healing process been? Well, fortunately, there was a clout of John knocking around that I just took his face. There you go. Face off. He didn't seem to mind too much. So, no, me and John. You so used to see.

No, I look like a clode of John, but I'm not. the clone, even though I have his face now. It's getting complicated. 90s clone wars all over again. It's a clone saga. There you go. Norman Osmore comes back. It's the whole thing. It's not to do.

Well, no, we had a whole episode talking about it, remember? That's true, and I assume everybody listened to it. Yes. It was really good. Yeah, if not, go back, because there's a kind of death that takes part in that unless you don't count the deaths of clones for whatever reason.

which is just rude to John and there's many clones. You know what you mean? All right. Does anyone have a preference as to who goes first? Who normally goes first? I think it's like you were John. Okay, John, who do you want to go first?

Me or you? I don't mind. Flip a coin for it. All right, have you got a coin? Yeah, here you go. Thank you. Heads. Oh, that's a tail, sorry.

Ah, all right. I hope that you guys mind out the passing and giving of the quarter, by the way. Fucking amazing. I love prop work there. All right, so did we decide who is going to go first because of the coin toss? John gets to decide. Or did we just flip a coin? Okay.

For a second, I thought we just flipped a coin. for no fucking reason at all. Oh boy. Yeah, I can go first then. All right. Right, so worst comic book deaths. I'll start off with one that wasn't in the mainstream Marvel comic line, but was in a limited series by a guy called Care Andrews.

called rain. And this technically was a death that wasn't really shown in the comic books, but it was sort of revealed as it was going along that in this alternate version of Spider-Man set like 30-odd years in the future or whatever. Mary Jane Watson had died because Spine, Spider-Man's radioactive jizz had apparently given her cancer. It's not a laughing matter at all. No, it's just funny because this is not the first time you brought this up.

We've definitely talked about radioactive scene before. Yep. It inspired so many conversations. We'd start off on a high note. Well, that's the thing. That's why I'm a little annoyed that you thought this was one of the worst ones because it's proven to be very popular with us. I mean, yeah, we find it funny, but let's face it, it's not exactly painting Mary Jane Watson in a good way, is it?

I mean, she's... I don't think it's painting her in a negative way. No, but it's not the most dignified of deaths. Let's put it that way. No. It's certainly not dignified. But, you know, they didn't know that was going to happen. I mean, it didn't have to happen.

I think, like, from a, from a riding point of view, I'm like, that's a really good point. Like, Spider-Man does have, like, some sort of levels of radio activity inside him. And, like, that never, ever gets brought up or explained or mentioned or anything like that. It makes sense to me that, you know, his wife, the person he would be closest to would suffer some sort of ill effects from that, from her not being a super part being, you know. Yeah, but at the same time. It's not like you get Superman comics with him, you know, ejaculating into Lewis Lane and then his super speed seaman just tearing a hole straight through a body. Wouldn't that be a great Superman story? That would be a horrible Superman story.

I can't wait to see the artwork for that. So to go back to what you were suggesting, Dylan, I don't think that would work. of like exploring the radioactivity of Peter Parker's bodily fluids. I think the reason that wouldn't work is it would be seen as an allegory to AIDS so fast. And I just think in the year 2024, we don't need to cover AIDS the same way we did in the 90s. I, I, I, you can't. That's, that's, that's being very presumptuous. I don't think he could say that as a half.

Don't drink out of the same water fountain of Spider-Man. You'll get, you'll get radioactivity. well no but like don't repeatedly get spider man semen's jizzing you and then maybe we'll get um you know cancer i you know

i i i liked it i thought it was well when i say i liked it obviously you know I don't mean I like the idea of somebody having cancer that's not what i meant but um you do like the idea of something you have a radioactive of semen yes i've been talking

about how much I love that idea since the start of this show, Corey. That's the shirt. I love Radioactive Seaman. That's the shirt. Oh, dear. You brought it up, man. I don't know how you thought this conversation was going to go. You're only going to us one way.

We're three very sensible, logical people who will treat the subject of radioactress Byrd very seriously. Anyway, so you didn't like this, that. No. Yeah, that's, like I say, I don't think it was a very dignified way for MJ to shake off her mortal coil. But, you know, that's just me. It's just you, man. We have a very different philosophy on life.

Yeah, obviously. somebody who's a deviant we've got this one after a great start all right Dylan you're up next oh god how am I supposed to beat that set the bar high how do we beat radioactive jizz

with a lip and condom nobody can beat it man it gets everybody in the end you mean alright I went for I have a couple I have four I'm like

which much okay so if we're talking about like just bad deaths this is what I think is a bad death a lot of people died in Avengers disassembled yes

this is common knowledge a lot of a lot of Avengers died and they're like well it's just part of the game I guess they haven't died for the last 40 years and now they're all dying at once how about that, you know. I'm one of the ones I didn't like and that was Hawkeye. Are you guys familiar

with this? Have we talked about this one on the show too? I don't think we've talked about it in detail, if at all. Okay. So do you guys know what happened to Hawkeye? I do. Because he was on my list. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Well, do you want to talk about it? Because I have other ones to talk about. No, I got five extras. We're good. Well, I have five in total, so we're good. Okay. Well, then we can both talk about this and we can both discuss it. But what happens is Hawkeye has his quiver of arrows on his back. And at some point, there's like a Cree spaceship appears and there's like terrorizing people. So the Avengers are called and they're like saving the day and ship.

And at some point, Hawkeye's quiver of arrows gets caught on fire. and, you know, Hawkeye's got all sorts of trick-shot arrows, one of them, like, exploding arrows and all this shit. So Hawkeye thinks, all right, this quiver that's attached to my back that I can easily take off has been set on fire and all my exploding arrows are going to explode. And there's no way for me to take off this quiver and walk away in time. I'm definitely fucked. But there is enough time for me to fly myself into the engine of the alien spaceship. I explode it that way. And that's what he does.

He sacrificed himself to save the day. But I'm like, I don't understand the logic of not having enough time to take the quiver off, but having plenty of time to fucking go into the engine of the spaceship. Do you mean? one of them takes literal seconds the other one I imagine takes a little bit longer than that no matter what way it takes you to fly into that spaceship

you know you could you could have the fastest hover car in the world I don't think that's a better option than just taking off the quiver right am I wrong no no because I was when I was looking at that one specifically it said Hawkeye realizing he doesn't have time to take off the quiver of arrows

grabs one of the Cree soldiers as a jetpack and directs them into the engine of the ship. That's like, so all right. Yep. In Dungeons and Dragons, there is this concept that every person's turning combat is it's six seconds. So if we're using like D&D standards, it means that in six seconds instead of just going, oh, take the quiver off, he grabbed a man and then like force the jet pack to go upwards into a ship. and I feel like one of those takes significantly less time than the other. Right.

It doesn't make any fucking sense at all. Not whatsoever. It's such a weird, such a weird thing to do. But that's, there it is. I will also say the art did him no favors. Because in the panel that gets used everywhere, it's Hawkeye with his arms wrapped around this person, jetpack flying into the air. and then there's a word bubble that's just him saying not like this. Now, I understand the context of that in the next panel.

He says like this and like that's when he directs it into the spaceship. But like I just feel like any death that involves the words not like this is going to be a sign. This was an avoidable death. Yeah. You could have just, you're correct. Not like this. You didn't have to do this. Yeah.

Absolutely no reason to be to do this. But he did it anyway because he's a good. He's a good man. He saved the day or something. I don't fucking know. Isn't there a pointless death as well? Because he comes back literally within months because the house of some storyline kicks off.

Yeah, yeah. So Wanda, like, brought him back. And, like, he and Wanda had sex. But she didn't remember who she was. So I guess it doesn't count. I don't know. But that's when he decides to become Ronan instead of Fokkeye. Doesn't kind?

I guess not because I don't think they ever really super addressed it afterwards it's like hey remember we had sex no I don't because amnesia or whatever okay but how radioactive was this jazz

I don't know if you brought back by reality warping magic does that have any side effects it's got to yeah maybe that's what it is maybe it's like the only way for me to get you your memory back is for me to

she may react with sperm and you it's the only way and she's like well that sounds logical I trust this man that I don't know you know Spider-mon's like don't do a kid don't waste your time Clint don't do it you're going to get the heartache from here

20 years time we're going to be in a lot of trouble you know all right John any thoughts on Huckkeye's death no I sort of agree he's just pretty poorly executed and like I say point this as well because he comes right back so yeah terrible death I agree terrible death all right so I'm going to immediately follow up one archer with a second archer and I'm going to talk about

the death of Oliver Queen in the 90s so Green Arrow was a very interesting character for DC because it was a character that freely evolved regardless of the continuity shifts. So, like, the original Golden Age Green Arrow was, like, just a shameless rip-off of Batman to the point that he had an arrow car and an Arrow plane and an Arrow cave. Of course.

He had a kid's psychic who, you know, like when I think of Green Arrow, what's your psychic's name going to be? Speedy. Does he have super speed? No. No. know. But he's, but he's addicted to drugs. Yes, but he's revealed later on to get addicted to

heroin. He loves speed, you know. He certainly does. So, um, so when they started, when Neil Adams got control of Green Arrow, that's when he started to break the character and kind of make him his own thing. It's when he grew the goatee out. It's when he took on more liberal views of the world, because like, Green Arrow is one of the few comic book characters who absolutely has political beliefs and opinions that freely voice them. So he's like, gets accused to being a socialist a lot of the time. So anyway, keeping in mind that idea that this character is going to evolve, like went from shameless Batman knockoff to, hey, my kid's sidekick is on fucking smack.

In the 80s, Mike Grell got control of Green Arrow. And so the book shifted to a mature, audience book. So now like Green Arrow like Oliver Queen's getting older. He's having to change his style of crime fighting because he's not as young as he used to be. He has an affair despite being with Black Canary for a long time. So he's making a lot more moral morally great choices and ethical dilemmas. And this happened until DC started to create vertigo. And they were like, we kind of want to roll Oliver Queen back into the main DC continuity. Because another element is he was not fighting like superpowered people or teaming up with like Batman and shit anymore for the most part.

It was very much a story about a midlife crisis for all intents and purposes. So anyway, in the 90s, they shifted Green Arrow back into the main continuity because they did not really want superhero stuff at all to be in vertigo. So he gets back into the main DC stuff, and the book goes okay. He ends up having to be the person that shoots Hal Jordan when he's trying to remake the universe in his twisted green lantern crazy manner. But ultimately, he sacrifices his life after tracking this group of eco-terrorists, whose plan is to detonate a bunch of. bomb over the city of Metropolis and destroy it. So Green Arrow teams with Superman, they board the plane that has the bomb. And while he's attempting to disarm it, he ends up getting his arm trapped inside of it.

And so, uh, what? Yeah. So there's like on the bomb, there's a device that if anyone tries to disarm it, that like this metal cuff comes out and basically traps your arm inside of the bomb. Okay. So Superman's like, Ollie, I can get you out of there. I'm just going to have to use my heat vision and take your arm off. And he says, no, it's better that we can keep the plane in the air.

And you can get away before it blows up. There's no time for you to do that. Like, let's just, I'm, you know, I'm old. I've been doing this a long time. Let me have this. So that's what happens. Green Arrow blows up in an airplane above Metropolis. And later on, Kevin Smith, a couple of years later, Kevin Smith brings the character back,

and he does it in a very interesting way where Hal Jordan resurrects Green Arrow using his powers as the Spectre. And he brings back an old version of Green Arrow before he had the Longbow Hunters and was a mature audience comic book. So he was like still young and still like kind of an air. again asshole. And they go into the afterlife because Ollie's missing part of his soul. And they find the older version of Oliver Queen there who basically is in heaven. And he didn't want to leave heaven. So he just gave part of himself to return.

And while they're having this conversation, young green arrow and old green arrow, the old green arrow pretty much admits that he chose to blow up in the airplane because, like, Like, he had fucked up a lot of things in his personal life. And also, he would be useless as a one-armed archer anyway. So he was like, ah, fuck it, I'll just die. So for all this of purposes, Green Arrow's heroic sacrifice was just suicide. I'll just die. I guess I'll die.

Okay. Well. So we have, basically, we have had two archers in a row who very well could have lived through the event. but just opted not to. And we also had a woman who... I don't feel like you... I feel like you neglected to talk about her again. She's just rude.

I mean, the poor woman, she died. I was going to say something fucked up. More fucked up than what we've already said. Well, I was going to say, keeping in line with they could have avoided this. Mary Jane was one who insisted that Peter finished cider every time. Exactly. They all could have been

avoided. He was a good. He was a good Christian girl. Certainly was. She was a Catholic. Exactly. You know, maybe we wouldn't know how this whole thing happened. Yep. Easily avoided.

Easily. So John, now that we've continued to talk about your first pick, how about you hit this with your second? Well, you'll be glad to hear there's no semen involved in this one. I'm not glad to hear that at all. Oh, wow. I don't know, maybe I can squeeze it in. That's what she said.

Yay. So for my second pick, I went for the death of Wolverine, which I quite like the way this whole storyline kicked off because it was all about, Wolverine coming back from like a little adventure in the microverse with like a virus which basically shut down his mutant healing factor and that was quite interesting because

you know he's not really had that sort of vulnerability before but you know now his healing factor wasn't working so it meant like the adamantium covering his bones was like slowly poisoning his body from the inside. It meant he couldn't pop his claws without like tearing open holes in his knuckles every time. And then they wouldn't heal once he, you know, popped and closed again. So like he had to kind of take a different

approach to heroics. Like he had to wear like a special suit to try and protect. himself and all this kind of jazz and yeah it was like an interesting sort of alternate look at Wolverine like still being a hero still doing the things that he's always done but like they're being more stakes now I guess but yeah so the storyline sort of culminates with him tracking down Dr. Cornelius, who was the former head of the Weapon X program, who's been trying to sort of replicate the experiments that he'd done on Wolverine back in the day, and then like setting them on Wolverine when he shows up to his island base. But Logan manages to like kill all these experiments and come after Cornelius,

only to have him escape or try. try to escape by activating this adamantium bonding process on one of his experiments. But before it can sort of bond to this experiment, Logan slashes the container with his claws and then ends up getting covered in all this molten adamantium. And yeah, that was it, basically. He died from being stuck in like a molten adamantium. an adamantium statue and it was

yeah not exactly the way I think most people thought that storyline was going to go to be fair it wasn't like super heroic like a big sacrifice or anything like that it was just oh yeah now he's stuck in this big turd-shaped

blob of adamantium you didn't sacrifice himself to like jump into a alien spaceship No, nothing like that. That would have been way better than what actually happened. I feel like if you really wanted to kill Wolverine, you essentially have to atomize him. Like a Dr. Manhattan situation.

Yeah, but I guess not everyone has the powers of Dr. Manhattan, though. In century. Man killed a god with his bare hands. You can figure something out. I feel like we should save that for our eventual how do we kill Wolverine episode. Oh, yeah. We need to get on those.

Yeah. You really need to kill him. God, we need to kill. No, I agree with you, John. I feel like any time any writer says they're going to do something pivotal with Wolverine, it's like, cool, there's a 99% chance that this is going to be dumb. Because I remember Wolverine was like that first really cool character where you legitimately didn't know anything about him. And like the writers didn't really know anything about them.

So you just kept getting the. these cool stories where like the X-Men go to Japan and like there's people after him and he doesn't really know why, you know? Yeah. Like shit like that's cool because you don't know what's going on. But then the second, someone's like, I'm going to tell the definitive Wolverine story. You have now officially gone against the head canon of anyone who's ever read Wolverine who had their own ideas of what it was. So therefore, you're like destined to fail.

Yeah. Something's a better left as a mystery rather than needing to explain. like every little detail of his life up to this point or even just like giving him his memories back like it was fine him you know having these gaps in his memory and then not knowing about like all this stuff that happened in his past because it's this interesting storytelling way more interesting than him getting it all back and uh yeah remembering everything yeah that noise me too we're like sometimes like they'll leave writers will leave something out there that's a mystery and then somebody comes back 20 years later.

Like, I'm going to explain that. Like, you didn't have to do that. No. Because a lot of the time, it doesn't add up and doesn't really make any sense. But also,

like, you're allowed to leave that a little bit of mystery there. You don't, like, that's part of Wolverine. He does have a very long, complicated life that we don't need to know everything about. Mm-hmm.

You know, like, that's, that's all part of it. And then once you start adding, a definitive history to Wolverine somebody else

is going to come and fuck it up anyway do what you mean because it's comics and they have to but do you do you know how

because I remember this happening but I don't remember how Wolverine came back again so it was basically a villain who again

hasn't had like much consequences or like consequential like storylines since all this happened but a villain by the name of

Persephone who has the power to bring people back from the dead and they basically become sort of her mindless slaves so she'd done this with a few other people and then she looked to do the same with Wolverine but I guess like I don't know how is

healing factor reactivated but maybe in her resurrection process it's sort of purged whatever microverse virus he picked up and then yeah once the healing factor came back in I guess like he started to break free of whatever like mind control she had on him and that was it basically okay does that sound satisfactory? Nope, not at all Oh boy, comics are the best, aren't them? To be fair, I kind of admire Marvel's restraint

because he was gone for about a good four years as a character. They only had sort of old man Logan running around. X-23. Yeah, X-23. So I will say that I always thought that was the biggest fucking cop-out to be like, we killed Wolverine, but we got old man Logan

run around here. Yeah, yeah. So we still have Wolverine. Yes. Yes, he's very much still here. But it's different, but it says still Wolverine. Yeah. We do that a lot.

It does your turn? I guess. Okay. So I'm going to do this one. This is the one. I'm not entirely sure. that this is strictly a death. But it's a thing that happened

that really annoyed me. That if it isn't a death, like, really should have been. But it's when Aunt May died the second time. I hate her to be so specific with this already.

Yes. Because she died in the 90s, but then it turns out it wasn't her. So she didn't really die. And then later on, in the, the 2000s, they had the whole Civil War thing and Spider-Man took up his mask

on TV and was like, it's me, Peter Parker and everybody was like, oh, what the fuck? Some fucking kid has been beating the shit out of us for 40 years. I don't like that. He has remained a kid for those 40 years is also very strange. So the kingpin

thought, I don't like this at all. I'm going to hire a man to shoot Peter Parker in the head. No. The kingpin has fought Spider-Man, I don't know, a billion times. Roughly, yeah. Probably aware that Spider-Man has a Spider-Man sense. He can sense danger.

For example, a bullet coming towards his head could probably see that comment, right? Second of all, in the Spider-Man comics, where, like, there's the biggest cast of wacky crazy ass characters Kingpin was like I'm just gonna shoot him I'm just gonna shoot him in the head why did nobody else think of that just gone shoot him with a gun you know sorry Scorpion

don't have time for you today I would hire you but I just want him dead so the Kingpin thinks got evil yeah just shoot him yeah so King Finn thinks it's a good idea to just hire some random ass fucking sniper guy not even like bullseye

right just some fucking regular ass guy to shoot spider man the head and didn't at all think that like maybe spider man would be able to avoid that bullet because as I've said before he's been avoiding bullets for the last 40 years the kingfish like forget it this time it's gonna work I have faith in my unnamed sniper you will never see again so the sniper goes to Peter Park

sees Peter Parker, shoots at him, Peter Parker, with his amazing spider sense, dodges the bullet. Who could have seen a comment? Not the kingpin, that's for sure. But unfortunately, for Spider-Man, Aunt May was behind him, and she gets shot

instead. Now, I put it to you, fellas, that if a bullet meant to kill Peter Parker, was meant to kill Peter Parker, and it instead hits an old lady, wouldn't that old lady be dead? One would hope.

One would assume that if the kingpin spent money on this hitman to kill Spider-Man. And the bullet meant for Spider-Man hit an old lady, and that old lady didn't die in the kingpin is just racking up stupid idea after stupid idea here. Do you what you mean? Like this is, why did you hire this guy at all? None of this is worth out in your favor, bud, you know? Well, what makes me wonder about it, though, is, like, Spider-Man has, like, enhanced durability. Like, just because you have super strength, you also have to have that, or every time you hit something as hard as you could, it would shatter your fucking arm. So, one would assume that whatever, so whatever, like, artillery, the assassin sniper would have used would have been, would have had that in mind.

So if it hit on May, it blow a fucking hole in. Oh, that's, oh, I thought your angle was going to be that, oh, he could probably take a bullet. Oh no, that's what I'm saying. I'm talking about like how inadequately prepared this assassin seemed to have been. This is what I'm saying. This is exactly what I'm saying. I bet that assassin just hit him with a regular bullet. Didn't even, didn't even think about the idea that Spider-Man might be a little bit more durable than your average person.

Because he's just coming out of him with a gun. You know what do you mean? Are you, do you really think you're the only person that coming Spider-Man with a gun? Wilson Fisk was just thinking, I got it. Yeah. I have fought this man extensively for many years. I finally figured out the secret. Gun.

I don't know. He's like, no, no, no. It'll work. Trust me. I've hired Carl. He's going to be a sniper. He went to sniper school for two weeks. And that's pretty good to me.

He has a little certificate. He printed the doubt of self, but I'm sure that if he stuck out the whole course, he would have got a certificate anyway. So he's pretty good, you know. So in my research for this, the way I remember it, Aunt May dies. But in my research for this, Aunt May didn't die and just went to the hospital but was a bite to die. And so, oh, interestingly, Spider-Man, a little call back here, Spider-Man gives. gives Aunt May a blood transfusion of his own radioactive blood. So he's now killed his wife and his aunt with his radioactivity.

Again, see, they couldn't have mentioned that. They could have mentioned, hey man, don't give your aunt who's about to die from gone fucking wounds. Some radioactive DNA. That's going to be bad, man. It's going to be bad news. They didn't mention that. I think they should have. Anyway, all of this goes on.

Spider-Man is so distraught that his aunt's going to die again because he already saw her die once. But this time, it's different because this really is aunt. And she got shot in the head and he doesn't like that. I don't remember where she got shot, probably not in the head. Which again, makes you wonder why the assassin would, if he was aiming for Peter Parker's head and Peter Parker moves and then he hits, the bullet hits the aunt.

If he didn't get shot in the head, you like, how bad is this guy is a sniper? Do you what you mean? So all this happens. Peter Parker makes a deal

with Mepesto, the devil, to say, hey man, I don't like the whole the fact that my aunt's about to die. Can we maybe do something about that? Can we

not have her die. And then Mephaester says, of course, all you have to do is give up your marriage and that's it. And then Peter Park is like, that's great. Fucked my wife. And I did.

And I gave her a lot of jizz. Really about the giz of this. And Mephester was like, what? What? And he's like, you'll see. You'll make sense about 20 years. So this was like, It was supposed to lead to a way to explain the fact to retcon the idea that Spider-Man had revealed himself and taken his mask off to everybody, which was a bad idea.

And, you know, they did it in such a fucking horrible, convoluted way. But it was just so, I just, I hated all of this. I hated all of this. Can I ask a clarifying question? Yes. It's a very much. No, not quite. So was the decision to unmask Peter Parker different from the creative team that was writing the Spider-Man book at the time?

Like, was this a unified idea? Or was this like the Spider-Man team having to go, I guess we're going to have to start changing what we're doing in the books? I feel like it potentially was. don't know for sure, but because Civil War was like a big, you know, storyline that happened over all the comics, there's a good chance that, like, an editorial team that wasn't strictly Spider-Man came up with that angle as a way to strengthen the core idea of the Civil War. And the Spider-Mard guys were probably like, how do we fucking get out of this? You know?

I think as well, like Joe Cassar. the editor-in-chief at the time was really against Peter Parker being married. Married to. And so they were just they were looking for any way they could just you know, annul the marriage

and get Peter back to being single again because apparently that makes him you know, more relatable. Interesting. Yeah, which I don't know. I don't buy into that. It was super, yeah, it was super weird how like how crazy opposed they were to the idea of Peter Parker having a nice life.

Yeah. Like that was, I always liked that, that, you know, no matter how he shied Peter Parker's life was, at least he had somebody to talk to. Do you know what I mean? There was something nice about that. Like a reliable kind of consistency in his life. that he has wife and they worked so well together

and for somebody just go I don't like her fuck it and just get rid of it completely that that really annoyed me too I always I always heard it was because Casada was a Gwen Stacy fanboy

yes that's what was a big that was a big factor in his dislike of Mary Jane but she's dead and it would be weird if Spider Mom was going up with Gwen Stacy No, you got to turn her to your teenage girl and then bring her from another alternate dimension.

And that's cool. That's fine. That's not weird at all. No. No, it's normal. Honestly, it reminds me a little bit when the new 52 launched and DC decided that all of the famous major couples couldn't be couples anymore. And it was like, does DC comics have like a thing against married people? because like

Superman and Lois who had been married for like 20 years at that point they like broke them up and like Lois had a boyfriend and like yeah it was really weird Barry Allen and Iris who'd been together for a long time

they were no longer a thing it was like there was just some weird editorial mandate that was like no marriages yeah I don't know why they think that like a marriage and a storyline is going to be like such a fucking crux.

You know, they're like, oh, this will never work. They're too happy. You know what you mean? Like, what's this fucking... Because nobody... That's part of it too. We'll have to do an episode about fucking marriages and comments because, good God, nobody ever stays married.

Yeah. You know, it's always a train wreck. It's true. Anyway, so mine was Aunt May the second time. But again, technically neither of these times she's died. So don't worry about it

my next one is going to be on the death of traditional marriage in comic books yeah oh it's so I know cheese from right so like John's very first pick but not involving Jizz whatsoever um

boo like did you do this to us fory he's turned off now there's no there's no semen coming so anyway are you guys familiar with the world of injustice for DC comics?

Not really. Is that the one that's based on a video game? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the video game. So the continuity for that video game is like wild. Like they have the whole, they have several comic book series about the injustice world and everything.

But I could very well talk about you know, the most iconic death in injustice. There's like two major ones. And this is neither of those two. So the first one is, of course, Superman punching a hole through the Joker's chest

because the Joker and fear toxins and kryptonite made him kill Lois Lane because he hallucinated that she was Joker. And by killing Lois Lane, he also killed their unborn child. Yeah, so that's why Superman went evil in the injustice video again. game because the Joker came to Metropolis and made him hallucinate that he had to kill this guy that turned out to actually be his wife and unborn child.

Ah. Yeah. And then the other one is when before like Shazam tries to turn on Superman and he grabs Shazam's mouth and then slowly lobotomizes him with heat vision and just makes Shazam look like a punk. okay yep but no this one's going to be a little more pathetic you guys know who Nightwing is

right yes yep all right do you know what I'm about to say nope cool I don't know if I do okay so in the world of injustice

as shit's popping off because people are going insane now that Superman's killing people and is on the way of becoming a dictator Arkham Asylum is like rioting. And so to kind of help quell this area of conflict, Batman, Nightwing, and Robin, Damien are there to like clean up. And there's this division happening between Bruce and Damien.

Because Bruce is like Superman crossed the line. He killed somebody. And Damien, who is, was born and raised by the League of Assassins, is like, No, actually he did us a favor. Like, you know, Joker's been killing people for decades, like a long time. And now he's gone because Superman did what was right. So like they have this sort of like debate on ethics and morals. And in the fracas, Damien gets hot, it gets heated at Nightwing for something he says.

And he throws one of Nightwing's sticks at him. And Nightwing is not paying attention. It hits him in the temple. and as he's falling down he lands on a rock and his neck snaps so that's how Nightwing dies he fell funny

and he hit a rock and his neck broke I actually find this when I was researching some of this stuff today I find that exact panel yeah because in the video game in the video game it was like a big shocking reveal because like your character whoever you're playing

you're in this like alternate universe where Superman's already a dictator and like several of the heroes are villains. And one of them is Nightwing and he's got like red like armor and his hair's grown long and he's like nihilistic. But then in the course of it you discover that's not Nightwing. That's actually Damien and that Bruce is blaming Damien for Nightwing's death. So it was like a big reveal in the in the video game, but you didn't see how Nightwing dies. So when it came to the panel, people were like, huh. It's not a great way to go.

No. What do you think is a worst way to go? That one or the seaman? I mean, with the semen, at least Mary Jane, still had decades of, you know, love with Peter Parker, I assume. Yes. I don't know. How old was she when she succumbed from come?

They don't really specify, but I'm guessing it must have been. It feels like, because they're a lot older in that. Yeah. I think she dies quite young and then Peter retires from being Spider-Man. So, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. There's your answer.

Yep, there you go. We don't know. Time will tell. If the person who wrote that storyline could write into the show and answer these questions for us, we would really like that. Because we have a lot of questions.

Who wrote the Spider-Man story or the Nightwing story? The Spider-Man story. Okay. we have a lot of questions specifically about the semen but we'll talk about that later

um yeah it's interesting that they would they would kill that guy off in that manner to go back to the nightwing thing to get off the semen

it's it's it's it's quite a weird tick but like you know it's one of those things you're like in comic books the whole point of it is to have these crazy outrageous you know fights and deaths and stuff that happens it's nice if they did something that's like

kind of believable and realistic yeah because like people die like that all the time right yeah but at the same time does that make for a good comic book so the angle is that Bruce's rejection of Damien is what forces him to completely align himself with Superman. But in order to make Damien sympathetic, they had to show that it was like an accident.

And I guess that was the best they could come up with. Like, look, it was an accident. He was frustrated. He threw the stick. Nightwing got hit in the head and he fell funny. You know, like, but that's exactly. That's not what you read a comic book for, especially if it's like superheroes. It's like if they kill off Alfred because he's changing a light bulb and he falls off the ladder.

Right. It feels a little bit like anticlimactic. Yeah. You know what you mean? Like, is this really... You've seen this guy for... We've seen this guy for years and years.

And the way you decide to end his comic book life, is he just slips in a banana peel. You know what I mean? Like... Yeah, essentially. I feel like we can do a little bit better than this. It's just such a weird thing

because like, you know, like I said, comics are so bombastic. Look at all the stuff we've talked about so far. They're really about the jazz, but somebody get covered in molten metal. Somebody flew into a jet engine. You know what you mean? Like,

and then somebody just like falls over. It's not the same at all. No, not at all. No. That's, I don't know, man. So,

John, you want his with your final one? It's sort of, along the same sort of lines really well not quite as like as yeah innocuous a death but it's more

someone going out like without much fanfare so basically back of the day Marvel brought back the X-Men in Giant Size X-Men number one

and basically introduced a whole brand new team of X-Men who came in and rescued all the originals from Krakowah. And then from that point on, it seemed like, you know, this new team was going to start going on adventures and whatnot. And, yeah, like two episodes, well, issues after giant-sized X-Men number one, one of that new team has already been killed off and that was John Proudstar, aka Thunderbird, who he dies on like a mission against Count Neferior,

and they basically won the day at this point, but Count Neferior is trying to escape on a jet plane. So Thunderbird manages to jump up onto the plane. and then start like ripping out all the like you know wires and whatnot basically causes it to explode

for I mean no good reason really but yeah he gets caught in the explosion and gets killed off and it sounds like from what I've read as well like the whole reason he was put on the team in the first

place was you know writer Len Wien and the artist Dave Cochram wanted a couple of members of the team with a new team who were going to flunk out so you also had like Sunspot who was a member of that team as well but then he quickly goes off to Japan

like I think in this same issue that Thunderbird died yeah he quotes but yeah so their plan was never to make these guys like long-term members of the team. But introducing a character in one, you know, giant size X-Men and then two issues later, killing them off.

There's like there's no emotional connection for the audience at that point. So it feels like such a weird gimmicky kind of thing to do that it doesn't really resonate as well. So yeah, I mean, it's kind of a chump way to, to, you know, see him go. Kind of a shame as well that it's like a Native American character who's obviously, you know, a bit different from, like a lot of the other characters on the team.

And there's like a whole like ancestry and like history and all that kind of thing that you could play into or like tell some stories about. But yeah, it just, it never. comes to pass and that's it for Thunderbird. It does seem really cheap.

It does seem really obviously like we're just doing this for like shock value or yeah to you know oh somebody's going to die and it's like a guy that you

have not had a chance to like actually get to know or understand yet. And also like you said it happened to be you know not one of the many many white guys that are on the X-Men it's a Native American that dies straight away.

Like, really? It's not great representation either. Do you mean? It's kind of lazy. Oh, big time. Yeah, but I, that's a good one. I don't think that's super cool of them to do that, really. I was going to mention, what do was warpath came along years later.

and like I thought like they did a decent job with the warpath character of like his own issues with the fact that his brother died so soon after joining the team and like there's a part of him that's like blames the other members of the Axman for it kind of thing. Yeah. Right. But that's also something they had like somebody came up with years later. Yeah. Years later. But it was did you, did either of you see the comic where they are reunited? no

crocoa oh no oh so they you see john and james like hug each other and it's you know it's just like wow you kind of killed a lot of the uh buzz warpath

always had but you they would that would be weird if they got together and they got fuck you buddy no just the whole like we have to resurrect every character every character they resurrected every character

Yeah. They resurrected every character. Dylan, you're up? Yeah. Speaking of Krakkoa and resurrecting every character. The one I'm going to do... So I have another one after this. I guess we'll do Honorable mentions at the end.

Yeah, of course. There's a couple other ones. But this one I wrote about because this is very recent. And we've... We've talked about it. this character before on the show I don't think we've talked about this specific

death before I feel like we've alluded to it but I feel like on this show I have made no bones but Beast being one of my favorite X-Men

I really like Beast I love what Grant Morrison did with him I just thought he was super cool he's a good-hearted good nice smart boy and in the Krakowen era they didn't stick to that brief at all they were like we're going to make him a big meanie a little villain you know which is weird because there were plenty of other villains there were plenty of other villains during that time and they're like yeah let's

fuck beast up too you know you know no need for that there's quite literally an evil version of beast already. Yes. They had, they already had Dark Beast. He exists and he has been

existed for 20, 30 years, 25 years. Long time. We all know it. And they were like, no, that's not good enough. We need to make

regular Beast evil. And then Dark Beast good? Is he called Dark Beast? He is called Dark Beast. Yeah. Okay. Let's make it sure.

Is that racist? I don't know. That's for the lawyers to decide. Yep. And we don't have any lawyers. We don't have any lawyers. Because I have a feeling the lawyers would have had a lot to say. But they're like, guys, stop talking about Jizz.

You also don't have a producer. That's a fair. For a long time. So what happened was Beast turned bad. he had his own lofty ideals for what should happen regarding mutants and the whole growing society and he was making his own plays

he was becoming very egotistical a lot of things are about him and trying to make himself the best which is it's not at all what the beast has been since his inception this has not ever come up with the beast but whoever was writing this was like yeah he's egotist now

because, just because. So all of this basically leads us towards the end of the Beast's long and, in my opinion, disappointing. He'll turn. What happens is, at some point, long story short, like I said, a lot of stuff happened, but basically, Beast turns against the X-Men.

When they're fighting Orgas, the Beast has a good idea where he's like, I know what I'll do. I'll stop Orgas myself. and I'll make a crazy bomb that will trap all the mutants in like a pocket reality so they can say there safely while I get my business done.

And some people are like, that's weird. I don't think you should do that. So the beast is like, I'm going to do it anyway. So he has like a big device, some kind of like nuclear-powered device that he's going to use to activate his black hole bomb. he is assaulted by the Avengers one of whom is Wonder Man

who used to know Beast pretty well when they were both in the Avengers Wonder Man attacks the device and it's damaged and Beast is like oh it's a nuclear power device you idiot now it's going to explode and kill everybody and Wonder Man's like I don't fucking care

I'm all right I'm Wonder Man stupid what are you going to do whatever but the beast in a rare to that era, Beast, a rare moment of clarity and friendship. He decides that he doesn't want to see his good friend Wonder Man get hurt, despite the fact that for months and years he's been trying to hurt everybody else. No, forget that.

Don't worry about that. No, he doesn't want to see Wonder Man get hurt. Even though he's been fighting Wonder Man in the Avengers. Don't worry about that. Not important. So Beast grabs the device, jumps into the ocean with it. And it explodes. And in their,

and I, to use their own verbiage, the explosion atomized the beast. The beast was atomized by whatever the fuck explosion happened. And that was it. That was their explanation, but this whole heel turn with the beast, they're like,

well, just, ah, his gun doesn't work. And he gets atomized. He's gone forever. Right? That in itself is unsatisfactory, in my opinion. As a fan of the beast, to have this whole thing run out in not a good way.

And then that's the end of it. You're like, ah, I don't like this. But it's okay because Beast is immediately replaced by a clone of himself that has all of his ideas and memories. but only up until around about 1985, I think. So all of the other shit that happened after that, including, as I said, the Grand Mars and stuff that I loved,

doesn't remember it. Didn't happen. It's all gone. So we have the old beast that was a monster and died and the new beast is a clone of the old beast, but doesn't have 30 years of his memories. Now I put it to you, fellas. that that is not great.

It's not a great way to wrap that up, is it? No, definitely. I don't think so. I'm glad you guys are on board. Maybe it's my own bias coming out here. I don't like that. I don't think that's good. And what makes it worse is it was the last issue of that X-Force comic

where they had to wrap it up. and it feels like they had an idea for it to run a little longer and then it was no right when you whenever you read the panels it's just like a nan and all and then beast was gone he's dead and you're like you're wrapping this up super quickly one of the original x-men is dead forever um were just like oh it just happened whoops you know yeah seems a little seems a little much doesn't it uh so yeah i i i would say that's that's on the list because it did not make any sense to me. Well, you read that.

You read that, right? Yes, I did. So you agree? Yes. That's all garbage. Yeah, it was, it was done so quickly and like just smushed. I mean, really, the returning beast, like the cloning beast with his old personality and memories, it was like a three-issue story, but issues one and two were like,

everybody going, this is a bad idea and him sneaking out and like going to Wonder Man to like recruit him and helping him with this. Because another element of that that you missed is Wonder Man is a pacifist now. So he refuses to fight.

Okay. Yeah. So like it's his old version of Beast in Wonder Man. And Wonder Man refuses to fight even though he's way more powerful. You could say it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. But yeah, no, like Beast proper gets brought in, and his whole, like, change of heart and death is, like, two pages at most. It's not great.

No, no. It absolutely was, hey, we thought we had more time before we were going to cancel the book so we can re-launch everything. Wrap it up. Yeah. Get to the point. Exactly. Which is a shame. Yep.

All right. Any more thoughts on the terrible death of Beast, the terrorist? No. I mean, when you put it like that. Yeah, right. All right. So this is my final one. Are you guys familiar with Chip?

Oh, my God. This came up. This came up in my research as well. I know exactly what you're going to say. I have no idea. John, is that legitimate? No, legit. Yeah.

Unless it's about Chippendale rescue ranges, then... Well, it is... Not a million miles away. Oh, okay. It doesn't involve a furry creature. So, Chip is a native of the planet Helvin. And the natives of Helvin, the Helvinites, are basically anthropomorphic squirrels. And Chip is found worthy and becomes a green lantern.

So there is a green lantern that is a squirrel for on tens of purposes. So what's weird about Chip is he, most of his stories occur in the Green Lantern core book from the 80s. And it's about like his home life. Like he's married and like there's this struggle of him trying to keep his marriage healthy whilst also being a green lantern. It is the wildest shit in the world because it's a squirrel talking about his squirrel. talking about his squirrel wife and how they've been fighting more and more and it feels like there's distance growing between them.

Like it's fucking wild. So anyway, Chip's marriage actually does fall apart in the book, but during crisis on infinite Earth's, the multiverse is destroyed, and Chip is the only hell of a night in the current timeline. And then Chip gets hit by a car and dies. but more specifically

Dylan what is the weakness of green lanterns they're afraid of the color yellow yes they are weak to the color yellow so Chip got ran over by a yellow truck and that is the canonical that is the canonical death of Chip the unhappily married squirrel green lantern

if only it had been a red truck you would have been totally fine Yeah. But it's funny as John Stewart's there to witness it. So you just see like Chip flying under the wheels of this truck and John Stewart going, no, not that way. And you just see him like close his eyes and there's like a splat noise sound effect. It's classy stuff.

It's super, super classy. Very classy. Great. So we've made it through our three picks. Do we have any honorable mentions? people who you thought of, but ultimately in the course of the conversation, you decided not to speak on.

I do, John, do you have some? I kind of have one big one, really. Okay, I got two. I have two. All right, John, you want to go first? Sure thing. I mean, we've talked about it loads before in previous podcast, but basically the whole ultimatum event features,

just death after death, which is I mean, it does nobody any favors how all these people die. Like, daredevil getting drowned in the ultimatum wave. Dr. Strange getting killed by Dormammu, who basically makes his cloak or something

just constrict his body until his worse. It's a sash. Oh, there you go. Yeah. And then there's obviously the whole wasp death as well where I mean, I think technically she

dies from being drowned in the wave, but then Atman finds her being eaten by the blob. And then Antman decides to turn into Giant Man and then

bite off the blob's head. and kill him as well. I mean, there's just so many absolutely shitty deaths in that event. That loss panel, I think is a full page panel. I think it was the last page of the first issue of that. This is all about being shocking.

Yeah, I mean, that's it. Like, it's grim and you're like, is it a point for this? Or is it just because you guys wanted to be shocking and weird, you know? Basically, yeah. but maybe that's what they wanted to do well good on them they managed to kill the entire ultimate universe line so very quickly and all the people in the ultimate yeah

you know all right Dylan I can do my remaining two if you like to do yours after I feel like you might have better ones than me debatable Okay, so the first one involves one of Dylan's favorite characters Vulcan. Okay. Is this one of yours? No, it's not.

Okay. The fact that you called him one of my favorite characters is a bit of a dig. So you guys are, so we talked about Thunderbird and we talked about Sunspot. Another one of those giant-sized all-new X-Men was Sean Cassidy, Banshee. uh from uh, Ireland. And Banshee had like a really

strange run with the X-Men. So he was on that iconic lineup, but he was kind of forgotten for the most part. And he would kind of pop in and out. I would say that his most memorable role was one of the headmasters in the generation X book. Because we got that film. Yeah,

I was about to say because we got that great quote Irish actor as Banshee. we'll let them use our powers So so anyway Banshee's powers as the name would suggest is supersonic screaming As the years went on after Generation X had graduated

Banshee started to take on a diminished role again until his throat was injured in a fight so Banshee's like story at that point is like trying to rehabilitate his voice because he got like his throat cut. And he's on an airplane, and Vulcan has taken control of the X-Men's Blackbird and is going to slam it into the side of this passenger plane.

So Banshee leaps into action, exits the plane, flies out and attempts to use his sonic scream to stop the Blackbird in its path. But uh-oh, his voice isn't fully healed, and he just gets hit by the Blackbird and dies. and you actually see his body fly through the windshield of the blackbird right before the blackbird strikes that airplane and kills everyone on board wow that's be harsh yep that's rough one no need for that is there no um so our second one I'm going to talk about is uh again related to generation X uh you guys remember we had to watch along where we watched the movie you guys remember skin, right?

Yes. So skin is one of the millions of mutants who are impacted by the House of M and No More Mutants. And so he still is gray but he doesn't have the super stretchy skin

any longer. Well Skin was out in about one day and he had a couple of other mutants get captured by the Church of Humanity, who were a militant religious anti-mutant organization and he and these other

mutants are crucified on the front lawn of the X mansion. So it's skin, Jubilee, Magma, and a couple of other mutants are crucified and dying. So at this point, Angel, Archangel, we talked about

this in our Archangel episode, he got the unique new trait of his blood has healing properties. So they start to give blood transfusions to the others. So Jubilee lives and Magma lives, but skin, skin doesn't. So he is one of the unlucky few whose angels healing property blood. That's certainly not weird at all to talk about does not resurrect.

If he had radioactive jizzing him, though, he would have been up in his feet in no time. Yep. I don't want to know how you put that into someone's body. I mean, I know how. I can tell you how to put it. I can tell you how to put radioacted of jazz in somebody's body, let me tell you. All right, Dylan, those are my... I've seen a lot of videos about putting jizz in people's bodies.

I don't want to brag. I'm not proud, but I've done the research. Those lawyers are like, you've got to stop talking, dude. You got... This is not good. Our imaginary producer. serious of shaking their head. Yeah, they're like, we got to, we're going to have to fire him.

You have to rein these guys in somehow. He's bad news, man. So I have, I have two other ones. One, I am convinced we've talked about it in the show. I say we, I have talked about this at the show. I guarantee I've talked about this multiple times. It's a member of ecstatics called El Guapo. now ecstatic

used to have a gimmick where like somebody would die like every issue a lot of the time it was very it was a very strange comic and they were kind of poking fun

at the idea of comic book deaths so people would die in their comics all the time El Guapo was a man whose mutant power was he had a sentient skateboard that would do stuff and one day

he is like skipping the industry and he sings some song to himself and that song turns his skateboard against him and el guapo ends up being impealed by his own skateboard so if we're talking about stupid comic book depths that's got to be right up there what a way to go impelled by your own skateboard yeah you know that's true pretty embarrassing the other one i wanted to talk about is Spider-Man the other where in this comic book series Spider-Man dies while he's fighting

Morland Morland beats a shit out of him but doesn't kill him he goes to the hospital Morland comes after him in the hospital Spider-Man suddenly has a big burst of strength and he gets stingers out of his

wrists for some reason and stabs Morland and then Peter Parker seems to die and everybody's like, well, that's him. He's dead. But what happens is Peter Parker's like skin, he kind of like molds his skin.

You know, he can shed your skin like spiders do that. So his skin gets taken away to the Avengers Tower, but Spider-Man himself just wraps himself up in a cocoon underneath a bridge. So he's dead, but he's not dead. And then he emerges from the cocoon about three days later. And he has the wrist stingers. and he has other powers as well. Powers such as night vision,

the ability to feel vibrations along his webbing. I believe he had the organic webbing as well through this transition. And as you can imagine, almost none of these newfangled powers got remembered about. The organic webbing stuck around until the Mephesto debacle where they just said, oh yeah, we changed that one too. It's back to regular.

Yeah, we put that as a freebie. Yeah, that's in there too. We're just changing loads of shit about it. But, like, it was such a pointless thing. Like, he dies and he comes back, and he's got all these pars, and he doesn't use them. It was so stupid. I saw that was pretty close.

It was either that or on May, you know. A lot of questionable stuff in Spider-Man comics, got to say. It seems that way. That's for sure. We talked about a lot of it on the show. That's my list. All right. Well, those were our worst comic book deaths.

And that will be an episode. So, John, what is your movie count at currently? I am up to 717. 717. What was the last one you watched? It was a movie from 1951 called The Proula, which to be honest, didn't really feature too much prowling. But it was a pretty decent noir thriller. Yeah, quite enjoyed it. Check it out. Dylan, is there anything you would like to promote? I guess

Check out our Baby Juggerna T-T shirts on T-spring or whatever We haven't What are you put them on? Yeah, we'll get one out there, I'm sure. We'll figure something out.

If there is merchandise available, there'll be a link in the description of the YouTube video and not on Spotify because we haven't figured that out yet. Maybe there is, we'll be in Spotify. I don't know if you can add

descriptions on Spotify. Can you add links to Spotify? I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure you can. and we'll figure it out. There's actually a store thing you can do on Spotify. I'll figure that. Oh, okay.

Well, we'll, we'll see how that goes. I guess I promoted my book last week. I could do that again. Yeah, go for it. It's called The Wonderful World of Cap and Explodity. It's available on Amazon. I think it's like eight pines, $7.99 for the,

physical copy. I think it's like $2.99 or $3.99 or $3.99, like for the e-book. But get the physical copies so you can hold it in your hands and appreciate it. I think you like it better. I'm trying to write in the other one. There should be another book coming out soon. I don't know when.

I was trying to get it done before the end of the year. I don't think I'm going to get it done before the end of the year. But keep an eye on. There will be more good stuff. Coming out soon. I think that's it. All right. Well, you can find me at my other show, a large old cup.

Since those episodes come out live, you've not noticed a break if you're just now learning about it now. So that is a stream of consciousness podcast where I just talk about whatever is on top of my mind as I'm recording. And as soon as the recording's done, it gets posted. No editing, no nothing. So with all of that being said, we will see you all next week as we pretend that time is moving. where you will listen to us discuss what we think are the best comic book deaths. But until then, we'll see you all later. Goodbye.

Bye. Bye-bye.