The Smark Avengers - Vol 3, Ep 5: The Smark Avengers Kill the Flash

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

The Fastest Man Alive... the Sultan of Speed... the Scarlet Speedster... the Monarch of Motion... the Soldier of the Speed Force... and the latest victim of the Smark Avengers! Not satisfied with the demise of Aquaman, the bloodthirsty boys of the UK are back and have claimed the Flash as their next victim! I mean... the Flash just has super speed right? He certainly can't have a million other powers... right? Join Dylan and Jon as they plot the demise of the DC Universe's premier Speedster... and Corey raining on their parade with how it may not be as easy as they think!

Well, I'm being recorded. Yep, that's the bit. Oh, shit. It did something weird. Well, no, it didn't do anything bad. It just, I hit record, and then it, like, it started at two, and it went two, three, and I went back to one, two, three. I'm like, oh, okay. We just get the first three seconds in the show.

I mean, it's like a tradition at this point. What stupid thing would you like me to say to begin with? Open your heart and let it take you to wherever you need to be. Is that stupid or is that incredibly profound? Well, I mean, I was just saying that to you so you could just do whatever you were going to do. Oh, I thought you were telling me to say that exact sentence. I mean, you could if you wanted. I've already forgotten what it was.

That's fine. Hi, everyone. I'm Corey. And with me is Dylan and John. The three of us where our powers combined, we form the Smart Avengers. If you listen to our first episode and you're currently in Poland, uh, fucking shout us out because I am so. genuinely invested in figuring out like how did you find us what is this that you're interested in

um i assume that what we say makes sense to someone from poland but maybe it doesn't and we can maybe we bring him on or bring him or her on as a fourth guest yeah if you if you're listening to this right now and you're the the person from poland who likes her show go to youtube leave us a comment in either english or polish yep not important we'll read it either way and tell you us like what you think is fun. It's probably the Japanese Spider-Man that brought you here, right? I would hope. You know, I feel like that's Japan, united in the world.

Polish people want to hear what British and American people think of Japanese Spider-Man. But not the Irish. You can disregard everything Dylan said about it. I am part of the United Kingdom. But you said British. That doesn't make you. It didn't say British. You know what?

Cut this by that. It's a complicated thing. Well, we did an episode dedicated to Dylan and John, who are not DC people, learning about a DC character and determining how they would attempt to kill them. We started with Aquaman, who was a unique sort because, for the most part, Aquaman's been the same kind of character since the 1930s, but they changed his powers a bit, you know, along the way. He found love, had a talking and had like a pet octopus that helped him fight crime and had a baby.

Baby got killed. Had a baby again in the new continuity. Baby got killed again. Had a hand, got a harpoon, got a water hand, then died and then came back with his hand intact. So I always felt like a downgrade in like retrospect when I was listening to that episode again. I was like, you know what? Maybe he was better off with the water hand. If like if you died and you got to come back, but you came back as a lesser powered version of

yourself. Is it worth it? That Brett respect to be just said on Acommon. It reminds me the story of Jesus. So Jesus came back, but he was substantially less powerful than he was when he was killed. Is that what you're boring? The Bible, it's all in there. The Octopus

that fights crime, the magic hand, you know, here's the thing. Never read the Bible, so you could very well be telling me the truth, and I would not know. I have 100% telling you the truth. And by the way, Corey, don't ever read the Bible. Just assume that what I tell you, but the Bible is correct and we will get on perfectly. Perfect.

So in the same spirit of that conversation of learning about a DC character that John and Dylan are not familiar with and then determining how they're going to kill them, we're going to go from Aquaman to everyone's favorite Scarlet Speedster, played by a problematic actor in the movie and kind of a seemingly wholesome person on a TV show.

Of course, we're talking about The Flash. John and Dylan, what do you know about the Flash. He is rad and he runs real fast. I mean, I watch the CW show, so I'm sort of familiar with

the Flash a little bit, like in terms of his powers and some of his villains and whatnot. So I'm not a novice coming into this. I have a question for you. You watch the TV show. Was that enjoyable? Because I watched

the pilot and I went, oh, I don't I'm not going to like this, and I never made it past the pilot episode. Well, I think because I didn't have any, like, you know, preconceived notions. I've never read any flash comics or anything. So, like, it was all new to me. And, yeah, I quite enjoyed it for the most part. I did sort of drop off towards the end and didn't watch it all the way through to the finale. But, I mean, I was there for, I'd say, a good,

five or six years or so. Jesus. I will tell you that what it wasn't that I felt like they weren't honoring the source material properly. It was more of like the breakneck speed at which they were trying to introduce the supporting cast and also hint at the character's comic book origin. Because I just remember they were like, oh, Barry, this is Caitlin Snow. And he's like, oh, she's kind of frosty.

And she's like, yeah, you would be two if your husband died. And she walked away. And I was like, that was intense for 30 seconds. Holy shit You'd be frosty tea If your husband died Yeah whatever that Or no you'd be cold too

If your husband died Something like that I was like I was like okay I'm worried about the writing I feel like if your husband died You would have a couple more emotions So what kind of makes this

It's gonna be a little different From the Aquaman series Because with the Aquaman show episode We were looking at Aquaman through the various ages. So we had bronze age aquaman, silver,

gold, the pre-crisis, the post-crisis, a new 52, the rebirth. We went through the various different iterations of the same character. For all intents purposes, was always Arthur Curry. There are some small variations from time to time, but it was still Arthur Curry. The Flash is

more in line with what I think of DC, which is sort of the shared mantle. There have been four characters who at one point or another have called themselves the flash to a larger degree. There are other flashes out there, and we will talk a little bit about that. But for the most part, there have been four flashes.

And instead of breaking down the ages, we'll talk about those different versions of the flash, what may or may not make them different. And much like where you would pick an era of Aquaman, you're going to try to kill, you'll pick a flash that you want to try to kill. Sound good? Yes.

All right, cool. So, John, you're going to be familiar with some of these names. So we'll start with the Flash. We'll start with the very first one. Maybe not the most famous one. The Flash from the Golden Age, who is Jay Garrick. Jay Garrick was invented in 1940 by Gardner Fox and Harry Lampert. A, I know, John, you probably have heard of this because that was like a, he was a

who showed up a good bit in the Flash. I think he was actually played by the actor who was the Flash in the 90s show. That's correct. Yes. Yeah. So you're going to be familiar with Jay Garrick. Dylan, have you ever heard of Jay Garrick? No.

Okay. So when you think of the Flash, you think of like the all over red suit with the yellow lightning bolt like antennas on the side of the head. Jay Garrick does not wear that. Jay Garrick's original costume was designed kind of like an old-fashioned football player, but with like the metal hat of like Hermes, the messenger of the gods from Greek mythology. Okay. With the wee wings?

Yeah, with the wings on the hat. If you look up a picture of Jay Garrick, you'll see it. This version of Jay Garrick was a student at Midwestern University in Keystone City, where he had a double major in chemistry and physics. And while he was working on an experiment to purify hard water without residual radiation, the test tube of hard water as accidentally spilled, the fumes knocked him out. And when he woke up after being in a coma for a week, his metabolism had increased because in his body nutrients, he discovered he had been given superhuman speed. And he became the flash. You would think that those two things aren't immediately connected.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a guy drops water, like special water in his time. Like, oh, this is going to give me water parts. No. Yeah. The lady they're on fast. I don't even get a magic hand. What's going on here? So this is 1940 America. The war. They could go back then. Well, we didn't know. Science was still brand new in some regards. And then as well, I can think of. But this version of the Flash was a member of the Justice Society of America. He, fought in World War II against Nazis. And some of his big villains, Dylan, because I know you like DC villain names, was the aforementioned... By all means, go ahead, grab a pen. All right, guys, try to predict what Corey's about to say.

Let's play. Put your crazy DC villain names in the comments. Let's go. So there was, of course, a gentleman ghost. Oh, my favorite. the shade okay that's not that funny the thinker

okay and the fiddler oh no he got he got the right of the stick yes he did so

wait does he have the power of like a violinist or does he have the power of like oh god I hope it's a violinist no no no so the

is a man who can play the fiddle. And it's sort of like a pipe piper situation. The other option would not have flown in 1940s. So this version of Jay Garrick was a member of the Justice Society. He existed on Earth 2, which was the, we talked about Earth 2 in a previous episode about how DC had split their continuity between like a world where the heroes got older and retired and in the world where they didn't. So Jay Garrick was alive and well for a long time, and then he got brought into the larger continuity during an event that was referred to as zero hour.

He came back into the main continuity. He had all of his speed and stuff. The JSA became a team in the regular DC continuity alongside the Justice League of America. And he kind of operated and did his own thing. And we will talk a little bit about. some of his powers. So he originally got his powers through hard water, but Jay eventually got onto a little thing called the speed force.

And John's familiar with the speed force. Dylan, when we talked before we recording, you less so on what the speed force is. So I guess before we go into that, should we discuss what the speed force is? I think that's probably a good option. I mean, you could just pretend. You could just go and make it,

make the whole show where I don't know what the, fuck is going on and you and John do. I think that's pretty funny, but if you want to, for the sake of the benefit of like an audience, you might not know the flash. Okay. So the speed force, this was created by Mark Wade in the 19, 1994 is the first appearance of the speed force.

The speed force is a cosmic energy field and force based around velocity and movement and is considered one of these seven forces of the universe. It is a representation of reality and motion being the cosmic force that pushes space and time forward. And people who have the ability to have super speed and the DC continuity, almost all of them are referred to as speed force conduits, meaning they're able to tap into it and bring it into part of their physiology.

So a lot of the four characters that we're going to talk about today, all of them have the speed force. And you're going to hear a lot of repeat on powers. So Jay Garrick has is considered a speed force conduit, which means he has accelerated healing, enhanced senses, phasing, so he can pass through physical objects, kind of like Kitty Pride. He has a speed force aura, which allows him to, it protects him from basically the adverse effects of speed.

Because if you run really, really fast, it should rip all the skin off of your body and like the meat and everything. But because he's a conduit of the speed force, that does not impact him. He has superhuman durability because if you get hit and you're going really, really fast, that should absolutely obliterate you. He has superhuman stick. stamina, superhuman speed, superhuman agility,

superhuman reflexes. If it's a thing you can do with your body, add superhuman to the front of it, and he can do it. He also has vortex creations, speed steal, so he can steal momentum from moving objects, superhuman strength and visibility, decelerated aging.

So since he can draw from the speed force, he has eternal youth. He looks like an old man. Can you explain that one again real quick? Decelerated aging. So because he has the ability to draw from the speed force, he can essentially stop the aging process for himself.

In DC continuity, as of right now, this is the same man who fought in World War II, but he still looks like he's in his 60s. Okay. I don't want to give any spoilers about how I was going to kill somebody.

That has really put it down there on one of my possibilities. Can I tell you something else about the decelerated aging that is going to bring to mind a lot of really uncomfortable questions to ask? Oh, absolutely. It can't be any more uncomfortable than the whole fiddler situation. Well, it might be because the people who can tap in the Speed Forest, their loved ones also do benefit from decelerated aging. So Jay Garrick's wife has not aged at all either. Because he

did the business with her? I don't know. for a fact, but that seems to be the implication. Okay. There was that really uncomfortable Spider-Man Elseworld story. I was about to bring that up. That was one of my, I actually loved that idea because it makes so much sense.

He's got radiation in his body. The idea that, but what we're talking about. He gave Mary Jane Watson cancer by, yeah, yeah. What we're talking about is a alternate future story where Spider-Man, I don't remember the name of it, but in the future at some point, Murray Jane dies,

and it's because, technically because Spider-Man, Peter Parker and Mary Jane were together, Peter Parker has really, radioactivity in his blood and is superhuman. Mary Jane did not have any of that, had no protection for that whatsoever, and they were a couple.

They did things the couples do, you know. They put the semen inside of her somehow. Yep. I'm not 100% sure that his radioactive seaman it had an adverse effect in her body and so she got cancer

she died. I'm like that's the most realistic thing I've ever read in the Spider-Man comic. You know what I mean? That makes so much sense. And then flip over to this guy runs so fast and whenever he comes inside a woman, she lives forever. What? you want to clip this bit for TikTok?

Yeah, well, this will be a TikTok clip, I'm sure. So to get back on, to get us back on track here, the other abilities that he has is he had speed force empathy, meaning that he can sense when other users of the speed force are in trouble. What the fuck does that even mean? So think of it, think of it like, think of it like a spider web, right? and somebody thinks of spider web like oh somebody over there is in trouble

yeah yeah so like he can sense when one of the other speedsters are in trouble that's basically what it is it's like a very personal spider sense in that like he can't sense when everyone's in trouble but if you can run super fast he'll know it we're only on the first flash

yeah we got three more this has gone from man runs really fast to like a hundred other different things yes this is a seat Yes. This is only the first one. I, Dylan, I've not, he has one more superpower and then I'm going to have to get into another area because of the similarities and powers.

We need another category. He can talk to dogs. No. Dimensional travel. He can run so fast. He can break the dimensional barrier and travel to other dimensions. Is that, is that scientific? Is that possible?

It's hard water. I, exactly, that's the hard water effect. Um, I feel like if you talk to Grant Morrison, they would back that up. Did he did they, did I do this? Grant talks about traversing into other dimensions a lot, but usually involves him being on psychedelics. Right. That's right.

So I mentioned that a lot of the flashes have the, have similar powers. So I think it's important to bring up their abilities that are not granted through the speed. force and their powers. So maybe like this can give you an edge if you're trying to determine which flash you want to do do a battle with. So not only is Jay have all those fantastic abilities, he is also considered an expert combatant. So he is, uh, he's able to fistfight people very, very well.

Um, he's also a master swordsman. Okay. He is pinpoint accuracy with throwing, um, because he will throw his winged helmet like Captain America does his shield. So he's, so he's, so he's Wolverine, he's Quicksilver, he's bull's bull's eye. Yeah. Or the other ones, he's got Spider-Man sperm. What else?

I mean, he's got a lot going on. He can run really fast without it ripping all of the meat off of his body. He can, he can, who, who, what superhero can travel through dimensions? I mean, There's a couple who can, like Dr. Strange can. Okay, so he's Dr. Strange as well. So the guy who runs fast suddenly has the pars of like five. The guy who can run fast and has been doing it since the World War II.

Well, I guess you get bored. Like, I've got to do something else. Maybe I could just travel through time. Maybe I could just go to the Match an X. I don't know, you know. Jay Garrick is also an expert in the fields of chemistry and physics. And he is also very good with mechanical engineering and creating gadgets. He also knows how to run a business.

See, that shit makes sense, right? If you've been around since World War II, you would pick up fancy. You would learn how to fix a car, right? I totally get that. That makes sense. But you wouldn't be like, I wonder if I can go to a different dimension. So he has his own specialized equipment. Like I said, he's the one flash that does not look or dress like the others.

He has his helmet, which we've spoken of a few times now. And here's my favorite thing, Dylan, that I think you would. would appreciate. Early in his career as the flash, Jay Garrick briefly carried an over foot long yellow metal rod in the shape of a jagged lightning bolt, which he would toss across a room either to announce his presence or to disarm an adversary.

I love the idea of him, but it was speeding into a room, as if the sudden draft didn't give it away. Like, why did that door suddenly open? But no, no, no. Here's a big fucking lightning bolt in the middle of it. it's me the flash you know like how much more extravagant does this fucking guy have to be

is he the king i mean you know jay girk is considered one of the uh the o gow founding fathers of the justice society along with uh the green lander and alan scott we ever do a green when we do a green lantern episode on this um that's another wild one when we get into some of his stuff. I will say the 1940s gave a lot of gave birth to a lot of things. But a lot of those powers that I mentioned were stuff given to him later on. It's kind of like the angel, archangel thing we talked about in a previous episode where they just started giving him more powers. Because originally he was just like run really fast. I can create a tornado by like running in a circle or like moving my hands.

The lightning rod though, just picking up throwing a piece of metal across the room to let people know you're on your way. Yeah, what the fuck? That one was all him, baby. We will move on from Jay Garrick, and we will to the second flash that arguably some people would say is the more famous flash. This is Barry Allen. So Barry is, he's our gentleman friend who was the first in the all over red suit with the yellow little rods in the ears and the yellow boots. The lightning bolt symbol across his chest. Jay Garrick got his ability

from hard water dropping and breaking, right? So how do you think Barry Allen got his powers? Oh, the first flash had sex with him. And his seaman went inside the other fly. And they gave him the flash powers. This is our most lurid episode to date. The prize it took us as long. I'm surprised it was the flash episode that caused this, to be frank.

He's called the flash. So on the night of a storm, while Barry Allen was in his scientific lab, because he is a forensic scientist for the police, a bolt of lightning crashed through the lab's window and struck him in the chest, causing him to drop chemical vials he was carrying and doused himself. So this combination of chemicals and lightning gave him his fantastic abilities. again Chemicals and Lightning you're like equal speed technically chemicals on lightning

probably do equal speed like the drug speed I mean it makes more sense than the hard water anyway it does that is true by the way I did pull up a separate thing this Barry Allen showed up in a comic called showcase number four

in 1956 he was created by Carmine Infantino and Robert Cannager so there's that so there's that So this is the flash that joined the just started the justice league. He was the the Silver Age flash.

So a lot of his comics were kind of weird science fiction, a lot of aliens and such. And like I said, he's considered one of the more iconic characters. But what kind of made him kind of special and kind of interesting, his comics would have a section called flash facts. and in those comics, the writers would put like real like science tidbits. So the readers would learn a little something because at the point, comics were still kind of primarily for kids. So, you know, it was it was weirdly educational in a sense. And Grant Morrison wrote about that in their book Super Gods.

Another thing they brought up in that was Grant, I think he, Grant credited Barry Allen's Flash from the Silver Age for being the first comic to break the fourth wall. because of a cover of the Flash looking out of the comic cover and like pleading with the reader, like treating the reader as a character. So that kind of, if you know anything about like Grant's writing style and the stuff they like to do, you could see that was a very influential moment for them. What did he say?

Like the Flash is looking towards the reader. Like what did he say on the cover? Like, hey guys, buy my book? What, what? Uh, so this is the flash comic itself. It is from, I think it's issue number 167, perhaps. The numbers come across a little tiny to me. And it says, stop, don't pass up this issue.

My life depends on it. Yeah, that sounds about right, doesn't it? So Barry Allen was the main flash up until a little thing called crisis on infinite Earths. Anytime we talk about any DC comic crisis is going to get brought up because it was such a monumental thing that they did. So in the Crisis on Infinite Earth's storyline, Barry Allen foils the anti-monitor's plan to destroy Earth with an anti-matter cannon by creating a speed force vortex to draw all the power in. But he died in the process because the speed force absorbed his body. So, so Barry Allen was one of the main deaths in the crisis on infinite Earths. And Barry was dead for a while.

He did not come back until. So yeah, 23 years after Barry died in crisis on infant Earth's number eight, he came back in final crisis, which came out in 2008. So he was dead for a long time, which we talked about in. our episode with Robbins with Jason Todd about how there was a period of time where comic book deaths would stick for a substantial period. He came back and they gave him a big series called the Flash rebirth. He became a big, he was the main character in Flash Point and Blackest Night and the new 52, he was the main Flash in that book.

So when the New 52 launched, none of these other flashes were around. It was just Barry. And as of right now, the character is currently coming. back. He took a little momentary retirement in the regular main continuity. Would you like to know what Barry's powers are? Same as the other guys. Not too far from the truth. He is a speed force conduit. He has superhuman speed. Reflexes, stamina, agility, strength. Speed force aura, which, you know, that's the thing that keeps him from getting torn apart by the G-force of running that fast. D-Flexibility, accelerated healing. He has aerokinesis.

What's that? He can move his arms really fast and create tornadoes. He can travel into different dimensions like Jay Garrick. He has electrocanesis where he can manipulate electrical energy that he pulls from the speed force. And that could come out as like energy blasts, electro-magnetism. He can transform that energy into other areas. Photokinesis, he can absorb the speed force. And he...

Photoconnesis is absorbing the speed force? Well, no, he has the ability to generate light through speed force lightning. Okay. But he can absorb the speed force and drain it from other speedsters if he needs to. Okay. And he can also...

No, you know what? Finish this and then I'll ask that question, okay? Okay. He can also block or cut people off from the speed force. So do you want to ask your questions before I go into the other powers he has? I do. He has a lot. I don't know if Jonathan any questions.

I have one question, which came up whenever you said that last part, that he can absorb the speed force and he can block the speed force. Yes. Where exactly does the speed force come from? So you said it was kind of like an element like in the nature, in the wild, like one of the, but like, does that mean it's just, it's just, it's. It's just everywhere all the time? Yes. It's kind of like how the force is described. So if you say you can absorb speed force and it's everywhere all the time, he can just

always be powerful? Well, so the problem with that is it kind of is what happened to him in crisis on infinite Earths. He put too much of himself into the speed force and the speed force absorbed him. So Barry Allen died. He can absorb the speed force. Yes. but he can overload his body because he still has a mortal body.

Like there is a limit to how much he can do. Okay, but then if he absorbed so much speed force, wouldn't he like turn into speed force? Yeah, that's what happened. But that's not really dying though, is it? Like, that's moving on for like a different plan of existence. Yeah, he basically moved into a different kind of. Does that mean that somebody else can absorb him? Yeah.

because he's part of the speed force at that point. Yeah, so the other flashes could absorb him into their speed force. Yes. And then whenever they see it went into their girlfriends, it's really him. Yeah. It was a long buildup. Well, was that a euphemism? Hey, man.

Now it was the speed force. Nope, nope, nope. The long buildup with the speed force. Wham. One and done, baby. in a night. Yeah, a couple of times very quickly, too. I am so surprised

that the direction this episode is taken. Fits of our previous episodes did you think would have got looter than this. I feel like weird powers had potentials because I feel like you could have talked about like Stacey X or something from X-Men. I don't know. But anyway, so Barry has all of the regular

speed force powers that J. Garik has, but Barry also has enhanced mental processes. He has a speed mind. He has the ability, so basically he can think very, very fast. I love what he called a speed mind. Yes. Yes. He also has enhanced senses, a cosmic awareness,

so he can sense disturbances in time and space because of his connection to the speed force. I'm going to read this to you, Dylan, and you're going to, it's going to make you stop whatever you're saying because just the sentence is wild. Okay. He has enhanced vision. Barry is able to vibrate his eyes on different frequencies in order to see different wavelengths of light, essentially seeing things that would be invisible to most people.

Can I just say that I don't think the ability to see different, like infrared and stuff like this? I'm no scientist. I don't believe that that is caused by vibrating your eyes really quickly. If there's a scientist, Mr. Poland, if you're listening to this and you're a scientist, please tell me if I'm correct or not, but the ability to vibrate your eyes fast enough to see other plants of existence. Dylan, we are 44 minutes into recording, and we're not even finished with the second flash. This is either going to be a very long episode or it's a two-parter. I don't know which.

I have a feeling you're going to have a lot of stuff that cut out. Yeah. Yeah, we're not done yet because Barry also has speed force empathy. He can read emotions of other people who can access the speed force. Why? He also has speed force visions where he can get glimpses into the future due to his connection with the speed force. I was trying to ride a lot of these paris down. I have to stop.

I'm running out of room. Yeah, I'm not done yet. He has molecular acceleration. He can vibrate his own molecular structure at varying degrees for a number of purposes. When vibrating at a high enough frequency, he can cause things to explode on contact. What? When possessed by a ghost, Barry was able to adjust his frequency in order to trap the spirit in his body while staying in control of himself.

So he has the ability to phase in through material objects. He can make himself intangible. He can make himself invisible. He has thermokinesis, meaning that he can vibrate enough to generate heat to thaw people out of ice. What are we doing? I'm not done. Dylan, I'm not done.

What do you mean you're not done? I've written like seven paragraphs with this guy already. He has retro cognition. He can remember certain. events that have been erased from his mind. But they've been erased from his mind. He can remember him. But that's called memory.

He can go, he can make, it sounds like he can make his mind go back in time from before it was erased and remember it. How? How does being fast give you the ability to do this? This may not be an episode where we kill the flash and we just talk about how overpowered he is. Story, we've talked about some real bullshit in this show, right? We've talked about magic hands.

We've talked about armless tiger man. We've talked about, like, a lot of, like, crazy-ass shit. I think the idea that you can vibrate your brain enough to go back and remember memories you've already forgotten might be the stupidest fucking thing we've ever said on the show. Dylan, I am. All the stuff about putting serious. in a woman that we already said a moment ago.

Dylan, I'm still not done. Stop it. We have to get off this. He can share the speed force with other people, meaning he can lend it to somebody who doesn't normally access it. He can steal the speed force from other people. He can make somebody else a flash? He can,

for a temporary amount of time, he can lend it to somebody. He can speed up time and he can time, travel. Do you want to go into his list of abilities that he has that are not related to the speed force? He's a great gardener. Like, what are we talking about? So here, I'll, I'll go real quick. Acrobatics, chemistry, computer operation, criminology. I feel like this, do you ever see like in the UK, were there ever commercials for like community college that would say, you can

attend this and get an associate's degree in and then they lead off a bunch of that's what this sounds like so far he's a master of disguise firearms forensic pathology meditation he has a genius level intellect he's an advanced

hand-to-hand combatant he has indomitable will he is a master investigator he knows mechanical engineering he knows how to be stealthy he's a natural leader he has a lot of knowledge on weaponry and swordsmanship and my favorite swimming.

Acamander doesn't even get that. Turns out the flash is better swimming than he is. It says Barry is a very good swimmer and has been able to race Aquaman to a draw. So you're correct. For fuck sick. I'm good. Dude, what is it? What do we do it?

This is ridiculous. You got to admit, dude, this is silly. Yeah. It's, it's, yeah. It is. Run fast. Can I tell you the worst thing? There is a list.

of the fastest speedsters in D.C. Spoiler, he's not even the fastest. We're going to move to the third flash. And this one is Wally West. So Wally West was the flash. He was the former kid flash. So he was the kid's sidekick of Barry Allen. And when Barry died in Crisis on Inferred Earth,

Wally basically graduated and became the Flash. So in a lot of ways, he's been the most successful former kid's sidekick. Like Dick Grayson was Batman. for a little while, you know, green arrows, psychic speedy never replaced him. Aquaman, psychic Aqualad

never replaced him. Donna Troy never really replaced Wonder Woman. Wally West is the only one who actually did it and got the job done. Do you know how he got his powers? I don't want to say seaman, because he's a child, because he was underage. Face semen? An alien did it, so it's legal?

What are we talking? So Wally was struck by a bolts of lightning and doused in chemicals just like Barry Allen. Who would have thought it like lightning in a bottle? It happened again. What are the chances? What are the chances? Does this mean he has to see him powers? We'll see.

No. So Wally West was the flash from that point on. In a lot of ways, I view him as the iconic flash. He was the flash that was in the animated Justice League cartoon. He was the flash when I started. to reading comics. So even though they put Barry in the movies

since, you know, when they started making movies again, Wally is to me that person. When Barry Allen came back, he and Wally shared the mantle of the Flash for a while. And then when the new 52 and Flashpoint happened,

Wally got erased from existence. He just stopped being around. Couldn't you use his flash powers to not be a race of existence? Hey, guess what happened in Rebirth, Dylan? Wally emerged from the speed force he had been trapped in the speed force

and he popped into the new continuity with the help of Barry Allen like he was being born kind of he emerged from the speed force he was given tangible form once more So Wally was the Wally was in rebirth and he was in a world that was very different

from his own because in the pre-flashpoint continuity while it was one of the few superheroes that like managed to have a life he had a wife he had kids and like being the flash is honestly like one of the happier gigs you can have in superhero business like even though bad stuff happened while he still had a loving wife and kids that like knew he was in the flash and I think his kids started to show powers too for example and like everything was always chill with Wally but in when he came back to the continuity he came into a world where He wasn't his wife was a stranger to him and his kids had never been born and he had memories of all of that. So Wally had mental health issues because of this. And that culminated in a series written by Tom King called Heroes in Crisis, which had a very problematic view of mental health in which Wally in the midst of a mental breakdown, it inadvertently killed a bunch of people. Whoa.

They're going to stop you there. The use of the word inadvertently. He accidentally killed people. It was a discharge of Dr. Manhattan's powers mixed with the speed force. I'm sure it was a discharge. Those last boys, when they discharged, kill a lot of people. Yeah. So Wally got arrested and he was away for a while,

and then he redeemed himself in some manner. and it got really messy until somebody just said, all right, Barry Allen's going to step away from being the Flash for a while, and we're going to make Wally the Flash again. And in a move called Infinite Frontier, the Flash comic book went to Wally West, and it was a really, really good run.

It also featured a weird space professional wrestling issue that was really odd and fun. But, um, no, but there was a, um, Omega Bam Man was the name of the space professional wrestler. and he had a lot of macho man Randy Savage's vibes. Like, look up the Omega Bam Man, and I think you would be entertained.

Bam Man? Bam, B-A-M. Omega Bam-Man. Oh, he looks a bit like Hogan. He feels like like Hogan, to be fair. I love how he has, he's called a Mega Bam Man. You say he has Randy Savage's traits. He looks like Hulk Hogan and his Spock all to do with Kenny Omega.

Yep. I actually love that. Yeah. So as of right now, Mark part of the show coming in. Yeah, finally, huh? So we, as of right now, Wally is a member of the Titans. In DC continuity, the Justice League has been disbanded and the Titans are the premier team. So it is basically him and his childhood friends from the Teen Titans, now adults, being the main group. Let's get into his powers. I'm going to go quick because we've, they're going to be a lot of overlap. Oh, take your time.

He's a speed force. conduit. He has superhuman speed, superhuman reflexes. Can you tell us what power is, like you said, a lot of these powers overlap, right? Sure. Can you just tell us what powers that he has that are different from the other two flash? He is

energy resistant. So he, most energy attacks like electricity, he's able to withstand it without taking any damage. He's also immune to toxins, so he can't be poisoned or drugged. Hi. Hi. His body processes thing so quickly that he can just phase it out of his body.

Kind of like, you know how like Wolverine can like repair damage as quickly as it comes? That's why he like is such a heavy drinker and smoker. It's kind of like that. He just passes, he just passes it through a system very quickly. Why, why don't the others have that? Wally is special. Remember I told you that of the fast of all of the speedsters, Wally's the fastest. So his connection to the speed force is a lot stronger than other people's.

So a lot of his powers are very, very similar to the flash Barry Allen. except for those. These are his abilities. Acrobatics, computer operation, genius level intellect, advanced hand-to-hand combat, including boxing and professional wrestling, where he is one half of the

wrestling across the multiverse tag team champions with the Omega Bam Man. Hey! He has an indomitable will, master of interrogation, investigation, mechanical aptitude. He knows his physics, tactical analysis, stealth, throwing, and weapon ring. He's capable with a glave, for example.

Let's get into the very last main person who ever hold the title of the Flash, and maybe the weirer of them. Bart Allen. Bart is the grandson of Barry Allen from the future. He ended up in the present day and took on the mantle of impulse. and then later on became Kid Flash. And yeah, Bart is kind of kind of just a goofy kid. He's

incredibly smart, but he also is very hyper and he has a very, very short attention span. He was always, he was kind of more comedic of the characters in that sense, that people would forget how smart Bart was because of how kind of quirky he was at the same time. So there was a period of time where his age was accelerated up and he took on the mantle of the flash and he was killed by the, well, he was in a, he was tricked by his clone from the future named inertia into being killed by the rogues.

So he ended up coming back to the past as his young self again, undoing his death. and Legion of Superheroes That is not an explanation A lightning rod With the assistance of different versions Of the future flashes Restored Bart to Life

And he returned as a teenager I Hang on I just I can't I don't understand Like So okay so somebody died right

Yes They're dead Yes Their body is dead. Yes. Not breathing. There's no spirit. The spirits away that limbo. Yes. Can't say for sure if it's having her health.

We don't know. Let's just say limbo. Yes. In the middle. It's been dead for an indetermined amount of time. Yeah. It's not immediate, right? But then his younger self somehow knows he dies in the future and comes back to

stop himself from dying? Yes. What? What? Well, no, no, he doesn't stop himself from dying because time is a thing. So he does die. He does die. He gets resurrected by a lightning bolt powered by other versions of other flashes.

So the lightning bolt hits his body? Yes. The lightning bolt that has been powered by other flashes, it's... And again, the body has been there for an indetermined amount of time, or is it like instantaneous? Like, does he die? And then the flashes are like, we got to save this guy.

And then bam. Or did they just like bring it back to life at some point? Yeah. Dylan, we have got so much ground to cover. I don't know if we can really get into it. Why is there so much? We haven't even talking about killing him. Yeah, I was thinking this is going to be a simpler one than going through the ages of

Aquaman. Boy. This is so complicated. We might have to cut this to two. Holy shit, dude. All right. So, yeah, time check out. Where are we sitting at?

Do, we've already been an hour. Okay. This might be speed round to keep with the name. So Bart's powers, almost the exact same as everybody else is. Save for one thing. Speed Scouts. What the fuck Bart has the ability to create scouts

which are energy-like avatars of himself which he can send through the time stream then absorb their memories when they return Oh like multiple man Like multiple man except through time instead of like place Oh I mean Okay

You do what I love about this episode is that when it started, both me and John were full of energy we're like, we're ready to talk about how to kill the Flash. And as this has gone on, we are just like flabbergasted. We don't even have the energy to talk about this. We wish

we had Flash seeming in our bodies to be able to talk with it. Because we are just like, we have no idea what the fuck's going on. We're exhausted. I don't know what the fuck is going on. How can anybody follow this? See, here's the thing about it.

It's kind of like, remember when we were going through all the powers that Angel had and we're like, oh, my God, what is all of this? People will create a new power when they need one and they will forget all the ones they don't need. That is really what it comes down to. So, all right. But they're taking the piss with the flash, though. Like, there's a lot of stuff. You could have used somebody else for this. Right?

A lot of this shit is like, can I? Flash, what was the fucking memory one? Like, come on, man. What are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. So these are his abilities. He has a, Bart has a photographic memory. He's multilingual.

What? He is, yep. Hi. He went back in time. He ran so fast he could learn all the languages. Remember, well, I remember the Speed Scouts. He sends them through time and he can learn from memorizing them. So he sent a scout.

He sent a Speed Scout back to the seventh grade where he took intro to Spanish, brought it back and absorbed it. So you're telling me that this man has, he knows everything that could ever be known because he sent all of his speed scouts into the future to learn all knowledge and then brought them back into himself. Can I tell you, can I tell you what the language is that he, that he's multilingual in? I hope it's Polish. unfortunately it is the language called interlac it's a communication language of the 30th century's united planets he didn't learn any of the other ones that be used right now he's from the 30th century

all right useful in 3,000 years he is an advanced hand-to-hand combatant specializing in judo firearms weaponry and pressure points he is very smart with criminalization he's a master of hypnosis and he has

a mechanical aptitude can I ask to tell you that he has an artificial Can I tell you he has an artificial kneecap Well running would put a street on your knees Right Yep Yep So

Gentlemen Wait wait is the artificial kneecap Magic in any way It was it was put in by Jericho who was possessing deathstroke. So, no, probably not. Not Chris Jericho. No, I don't think, I don't know if that would work.

That's a different Jericho. I mean, you know, Chris Jericho would always try to crowbar his way in the storyline. Yeah, he saw this like young character and he's like, I can psych the heat off of that. This guy has all the powers. Me too. I want that. Yep. Give me the speedsters.

I'll be the painting. I'll be the painting. Put your seamen in me. Put your seat me. seaman in me Maybe cut this bit out. Maybe not. I don't know. Anyway.

Put that in TikTok. Yeah, we'll put that in there. So I'm going to leave this up to you guys. Do you want to go ahead and start talking about how you want to kill the Flash? Or do you want to learn some of the other Flash speed users? I don't even know where I am. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I really want to kill this guy after all this now.

All four of these guys. Fuck them. We're going to kill him. All right. All right. So gentlemen, who would like to go first in detail how they're going to kill the Flash? Okay.

So I'd come up with like a couple of different bullet points, right? So I have like four or five different ideas. John, what did you have? Did you have like a couple of ideas or like one big idea? I had a couple of sort of starter ideas that didn't really go anywhere. and then one big idea. Well, Lynn, do you want to go back and forth with some of these starter ideas?

Not really, mine. I don't have much going on with them, to be honest. Well, I want to... Okay, well, okay, let's do this. Why don't you do your couple of quick starter ideas and then your big idea, and then I'll do my ones. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, like, I figured, you know, take an inspiration from sort of Roadrunner and Wiley Coyote, maybe just set up a pretty standard trap firm. Like, you know, get some piano wire or something, stretch it across a couple of trees. And you just got to convince him to, you know, run at you. And then, but I figured, you know, maybe he's got super speed eyes or whatever.

And it turns out he does. So, you know, he... He could probably see the piano wire come in and duck underneath it. So I figured, well, why not squirt some soapy water in his eyes before. Please don't use the word squirt after we've been talking about semen. Well, this is the thing. I was going to say, well, maybe squirt some spunk in his eyes. Who knows?

So long as it's not flashed semen, he'll be all right. Yeah, but he will be slightly blinded. That's the point. And then he wouldn't see the piano wire and then wham. decapitated. You know what? That's not far away from one of the ideas I had. That's because it's the way to go.

Right. You look at what history is already dictated for people you run fast and you work towards that. What else have you got? The other one was really pissed poor. It was shoot,

booster gold in the head, steal his time travel buddy and then go back to the night before the flash got his powers. John, you've done so much, so wrong already. You said the word, you said the word shoot, and then you said booster gold's time travel buddy, which is a robot name skeets. Yes, there you go.

Why is that wrong? That seems to make sense to me. Are you familiar with the slang, the word skeet? Evidently not. No, evidently not. It is ejaculating if I'm not mistaken. Oh, man. This is the worst episode we've ever done.

With drenched in jizz. I don't know. I don't know if this comes out. Yeah, this is a weird one. If you hear this, you're lucky. If you hear this, I'm so sorry to the person in Poland. I'm so sorry. So, yeah, do yourself a favor, guys.

listen to the song Get Low by Little John and the East Side Boys, which was a very popular song when I was in high school, and you will understand Skeet. Also, if you want to, listen to any other song, it would be way better. All right, John, what was your, your, was that your big plan? No, time travel? No, no, no, no, no.

My big plan was to, like, take an inspiration from the fact that the rogues, the Flash's like main villains, like start my own team of supervillains. So I figured I'd go with Eubard Thorn first, the reverse Flash, who's basically... Oh, yeah. Yeah, Dylan, are you familiar with who the reverse Flash is? Obviously not. All right, John, go ahead. He's actually faster than the Flash, apparently.

And he, instead of using the Speed Force, He uses the negative speed force, which apparently eats away at the regular speed force like cancer. So I figured, well, that's a pretty good handy tool to have on our side. And one of his other powers is, apparently like the Flash himself, he can travel through dimensions. So I figured, yeah, let's take advantage of this. we'll send him to the Marvel universe and then once he's there we'll have him recruit

the next member of my supervillain team Pacepot Pete aka the Trappster and not just Pacepot Pete as well I was going to grab a member of Thanos's Black Order called Corvus Glave who has

a bladed weapon which is so sharp that it can cut through virtually anything, even atoms, which will be coming in handy in a bit. But yeah, we'll grab those guys, come back to the DC Universe,

and then bust out a guy from jail called the Turtle Man who apparently Wait, wait, wait, which, what universe is this one from? We're back in the DC universe. We're back in DC, so the turtle, okay. The turtle man.

Yeah, apparently, well, there's, there was the turtle, and then the turtle man. There's two separate characters. One was like a Silver Age character who was an old man and pretty useless, and then the turtle man was like the newer version of him who eventually apparently teamed up with the old version until he got fed up of the old guy sort of stealing all of his inventions and taking all the credit for his bad deeds and stuff.

But anyway, yes. What were his powers? Can he go through dimensions? No, he learned how to steal other objects, kinetic energy. to basically make it appear as if time had stopped. Just like a turtle. Yeah, exactly, just like a turtle.

Yeah. So, yes. And I figured maybe, I don't know, grab like Captain Cold as well, just because why not? You need to get him. Yeah, he should be there. Yeah, so the plan is to use the reverse, Flashes negative speed force and the turtle's ability to absorb kinetic energy to sort of, yeah, drain the flash of his own speed force, or at least cut him off from his connection to it.

And then, yeah, when he's sort of weakened, like maybe he's still got some small slither of it, but, you know, he's going to be way slowed down from his top speed. that's where it's Pacepot Pete's time to shine and he's gonna I figure maybe you know join forces with Captain Cold and they can work their

cold and sticky stuff together oh no oh no and then this has gone off the rails it went off the rails in Argo yeah

and then yeah once the Flash is trying to run I have to reverse flash or whatever or, you know, punch the turtle. They can stick them in place with their cold, sticky stuff. We know what that stuff is, John. Oh, no. And then in his weakened state, that's where Corvus Glave comes in with his special blade that can slice through atoms to try and, you know, beat

the Flash's phasing ability. But he's already in this weekend state anyway. So, you know, it's got to be game over as Corvus Glave just chops his head off. And let's it, game over, buddy. You know, a lot of that made a lot of sense. Yeah, I thought so. I think so. I think a lot of that totally added up.

Like, I like the use of the Trappster as well. Like, he's an undutilized villain. I love the Trappster. I think it's a really good idea. And the flash wouldn't be expecting them as well because he's from a completely different dimension. Yeah. You know what?

I don't know what Corey's going to say. I thought that was a really good one. You know how you were saying like you were kind of broken after like listening to all that? I'm kind of broken after saying all that. So I will tell you this. There was a lot of thought and there was a lot of effort put into that. And I'm going to commend you for it.

Also, props for. bringing in the rogues. I was like really worried like we're going to spend so much time talking about all the weird ass overpowered stuff going on with them. I won't even get to tell you guys about the rogues, which are some of my favorite characters. So because you added paste pot Pete to the rogues, you're in. I like it. Yes. All right, Dylan, what do you got for us? Okay. Well, so one of the, okay, so let me clarify somebody I mentioned earlier. one of the ideas I had written down was that the flash essentially kills himself because he moves so much quicker than everybody else that he therefore ages much quicker than

everybody else therefore all I have to do is nothing and he will kill himself eventually but apparently they already thought of that and said that doesn't kind he ages differently whatever so scratch that um along the the lines that job was talking about though you know he went down the road of the roadrunner and the white a coyote kind of deal somebody runs really fast the other guy is like how do i stop this guy it makes sense i understand that so in that idea you know how best to destroy a speedster one must study the grates in order to solve that mystery and so i would in my thesis i would like to to to talk about how i beating the flash is akin to beating Sonic the Hedgehog, two speedsters, two bleep lures.

I assume the flash is blue. Therefore, the following thesis will be drawing heavily from my major reference point, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, originally released in 1921, which was a seminal piece of technology, blea everybody away. Dr. Robotting, of course, was like, how do I defeat the fastest thing alive? I know a robot that looks like a monkey. this will do it he keeps

coming after me somehow how do I defeat him I know I will get inside a giant robot that looks exactly like me that's the only way to beat Sonic the hedgehog according to Dr. Robotnik or Dr. Eggman

if you're in Japan it's tricky right so that that was one idea I had okay robot because I don't think the flash for the thought of that he's got all this other fucking

bullshit ass powers right he can sense time or whatever he's not going to expect robots is he what does he do against robots I'm asking I'm legitimately asking

I mean I mean Dylan he has he has fought robots before it has been a big monkey robot that threw coconuts at him I mean he's fought monkeys before because I mean you got to real monkeys? John?

Well, John, do you want to tell him about Grodd? Yeah, there's like a bad guy called Gerella Grod. Is it a little monkey? Yeah. No, he's this incredibly psychic, like telekinetic monkey and like a genius monkey. Does the monkey throw coconut at him? No, I think he can throw cars. Right, but not coconut.

I mean, you're, yeah, you're bringing up an excellent point. What about a little crab? robot. Has he ever fought a crab robot? A crab robot. I don't even know if he's fought crap. It sounds like I'm on the right track to be honestly. I'm hearing a lot of like not a whole you know there's not a whole lot of

opposition to crab robot right here. I mean if you're going I mean the Sonic the Hedgehog template is pretty valid because there was a period of time where Wally was wearing blue and they was a blue speedster. Right. So they're both blue spitzers

and then how do you fit a blue speedster? be a scientist. I was going to say underwater levels. Well, that's true. Oh, I should have said that. Okay. Added it to make it seem like I said underwater levels, okay? Ready?

Here's the cut. Underwater levels. Right? So you just cut that bit out. I will cut that bit out. I'm sure you will. Absolutely. So that was basically that idea was the old Dr. Robotnik style.

I had another one which was just like heavily dose him in radiation funny enough we kind of talked about that with the Spider-Man semen deal which started this whole thing off to be honest but like if you look down

and you look for the line that was crossed it's all the way back there with it was way back in Spider-Man semen semen but I'm like if he dose him like heavily radiation he's going to get sick right? He's probably just going to die.

So I'm like, well, do that. That'll be fine. Again, which version of the flash are we talking about? The one that's susceptible to radiation. I didn't expect all of this fucking shit, right? I'll be honest with you. I thought it was just like put a wall in front of him and he runs into it.

You know, like, like, Wadi and Coyote. There's so much more to this and I didn't expect. So here's my other one, right? Here's my last one. Okay. Oh, no, I have two more. They're really quick. One of them was... All right, let's hear it. One of them was tie rocks to his feet and then throw him off the side of a boat.

I realize he's probably too quick to be able to tie the rocks around his feet. But if he's on a boat, he's only going to find out him on a space to go. He only run around the boat for so long before he just, like, has to stop running. So I'll just find a way to tie the rocks are on his feet and throw off the boat. But here's my, I'm glad now we're going to give reception. But here's, here's, here's my favorite one. All right. So by now we're all like pretty knowledgeable at the flash, right?

Yes, more than he would think. I would say we know the flash literally inside an eye. Yeah? We're pretty familiar with this man. Intimately so. Intimately, yes. Intimately so. So we all know.

What is the Flash love so much that he can't resist? What? Cabberys cream eggs. Just in time for Easter. Right? Carverick scream eggs. So what I would do, this is a simple trap, right? I'm surprised nobody came up with this.

Simple, simple stuff. This is me thinking like Dr. Robbins. Ladnick here. What do I do? Cabri's cream eggs, put him inside a big factory. The flash speeds over really quick. He uses his flash senses to sense that there's a big collection of cabaret cream eggs somewhere. He goes, what's that? Cabri cream eggs? And he runs over to get them, right? He runs into the big factory to get the big collection of cabby cream eggs. We lock the door behind him, trap him in the building, set the building on fire. Why not blow it up? Either works.

Either work. I said, I said set it on fire because the slow, painful death seems to be the most appropriate way to deal with this fucking asshole

because he is ruined our night. He is ruin our night. But blow him up, that works too. Either way, he's inside the factory. We blow it up, we set on the fire.

He's dead. What's he going to do? I didn't know he could travel to different dimensions. So I would pick the flash that can't just fuck off to a different dimension.

But that was my favorite one. I thought trapping him inside a factory and then setting on fire, that's got to be the best way to kill him, right? Yeah, that's true. Is it? Corey, you're the judge here. I mean, there is a lot to consider.

I'll be completely honest with you. I knew there was more to the Flash's powers than just running really fast, I was overwhelmed. When I looked down and I saw that we had been recording for 40 some minutes and we were still on Barry Allen. Yeah. I was so off thrown off by that. Holy hell.

What? But I will have to give it to you because I think I'm on the same boat. I was never a big. I read the Wally West series. It just came out. That's why I was familiar with the Omega Bamman. But I think I'm going to need to take a break from Flash and Flash adjacent comics after this episode. Yeah, you have to say, which method of death?

Because it's like Concrete and Marys. The same deal. Like, what do we think here? I mean, well, you brought Concrete back. Concrete came back a second time. Did it? Because you're going to tie Sitter blocks around his feet. I didn't say that I tied rocks to his feet.

Oh, okay. that could be like a big boulder that could be like you know i didn't specifically say cinder blocks that's true so i will say that dylan i think you have done an uh an exceptional job i think it could require a little more effort than than we may think but i i am a big fan of the sonic the hedgehog methodology yes it makes it's it's time it you can't mess the classics nope it's in the bible it's right there say say say it's Lega lasted for years off of that damn Hedgehog. So if you look at the Sonic the Hedgehog games, right?

The most successful Sonic the Heshoe games are the ones where Sonic Fights Dr. Robotnik, the least successful are when he's fucking around with some other bullshit alien thing, right? Right. So John's suggestion was to travel with, you know, with the reverse flash into the 616 Marvel universe and pick up Pacepot Pete. your suggestion is to hop into another dimension and take Dr. Robotnik. No. No. Robo's monkey.

Yeah. That's such a crucial, crucial distinction to make. Yeah. You just make your own robot monkey. If we're going by the Dr. Robotnik theme, all you have to do is just make a lot of robot animals and use smaller animals to power the big robot animals. And then also at the end of it, make a robot based on yourself and climb into it and fight Sonic the Hedgehog that way. Because that's hard.

I don't know if you ever played Sonic the Hedog 2, but the end boss and that's really hard. So I will say that you guys are getting so many points for creativity on this. I will award that to you because now I also want these flashes to not be amongst the living any longer. this is my face hurts from fucking laughing as hard as I have been listening to this one

oh my god I also just like really quickly say I really like John's idea of like it seems so simple right the idea of a guy like the trapster

just putting glue on the floor you know what I mean like the flash runs so quickly and then he just gets stuck in glue like we have mentioned all of these

these four characters you can tap into the speed force I do want to throw out some honorable mention characters. We're not going to go any depth on them. But these are other people who are super fast in the DC universe that may or may not have

a connection of the speed force. Metal Sonic. Well, just as fast as regular Sonic. This is Don and Don Allen, the tornado twins. They are Barry. They are Barry

Allen's children from the future. of both Don Don D-O-N and his sister Don D-A-W-N Oh fuck oh I have not Dude before this I was ambivalent about the flash This whole episode I hate this character more than anybody else in comics

These characters I will tell you these characters are invented in 1968 by Jim Shooter So that's some that kooky 60 stuff for you Johnny Chambers, aka Johnny Quick. He was created in 1941. Johnny Quick. Johnny Quick. How long were they sitting in that boardroom? This fucking guy.

And the villains have some fun names too. Like Godspeed. Godspeed's a good name. Godspeed's a great villain name. Yeah, Godspeed's a great villain name. There's negative flash. Reverse flash, Zoom, the black flash. You don't like Zoom?

No, no, no, no. Seems terrible. Godspeed, I'm going to write down. Godspeed was a newer character. I think Godspeed showed up a new 52. That's great. So, yeah, no, there's a lot of speedster characters. Some of them can touch the speed force.

Some of them can't. The ones who can seem dangerously overpowered. So, uh, we'll go around the table. John, what did you learn today about the flash that you did not previously know? Don't take the easy answer. Oh, so worse. You know, that he's ridiculously overpowered. He's got too many powers that have nothing to do with speed and are just, yeah, like,

dare for convenience sake, by the sounds of it, just to get him out of different plots and whatnot. So yeah. Fuck the Flash. Dylan, what did you learn today that you did not previously know about the Flash? You know, I'm going to have to agree with my co-host John in that, holy shit, fuck the Flash. Like, this is clearly just the writers is making up bullshit. This is what I don't like about comics. Like about any kind of medium.

Like whenever you make anything, whether it's TV or. or music or films or comics, you kind of establish your own rules and you work with them, right? So like Superman has his own set of rules and you work with that. Batman has his own set of rules and you work with that.

It seems like the flash, they just were like every week, they were like, oh, he can just, he can fake, he's got sonar now. Yeah, of course, the flash can fly, he vibrates, he moves so fast,

it vibrates the particles on the air to make himself fly. Why not? I used to think that they got really egregious with Magneto for that stuff, where they were like, they were just making shit up about Magneto. He could just vibrate particles in your body. But this

is so much worse. The thing I've learned about this is that I hate the flash. This is the one thing I've learned. It's like, fuck the... I'm with John. Fuck the flash. That's what you call the episode. Not the semen thing. Fuck the flash. You might

have to edit that, like put stars in the word fuck because YouTube are probably not going to like the previous fuck the flash if you put that as a title. But I'm a job. Like the one thing the two of us have learned is

holy shit. What the fuck? That's what we've learned. All we've learned is what the fuck. And I think the people who've listened to this as well, the one thing that people who have listened of this are going to come away with saying is

what the fuck. Yeah. Yeah, that was like I said when I, when I, when we were talking about like, oh, let's do another episode where we like, you know, read about a character in their abilities and then like figure out a way to kill them. I was like, I guess we could do the flash.

Because I know for fact there's more to the flash than just super speed. But like that I didn't even read the long descriptions associated with each power. like each of Barry Allen's powers had like at minimum five to six sentences talking about them. So like crazy.

Yeah. Well, and I will tell you a lot of that did come from the Silver Age because that was like kooky science fiction shit that like was being written in the Flash comic back then. But yeah, there is a they they do a lot with just the notion of super speed. So like that's kind of like It's kind of like when they announced Well we're going to make an Aquaman movie It's like oh he's the guy who talks to fish

Like there's a little bit more to it than that And they're like oh we're going to do a movie with the Flash There's a little bit more to it than that too I will say the one thing that we did not talk about Is that the Flash has in fact died With the release of the suicide squad Kill the Justice League video game In which if you play the game

You do have to kill the Flash So it sounds like none of us have played that game so therefore we do not know the defendant way to kill the flash. Oh, I do. Robot monkey. Robot monkey. All right. Well, this entire episode took such a weird fucking turn.

My face hurts from just laughing at all this shit. So I'm going to call it there, guys. I don't know if I can keep going. Fair enough. So. That'll we can possibly say. I think we've said all that we could possibly say. It's been a lot.

So folks. Um, check us out. We're on social media. We're on YouTube. We got a simple name. It's a smart Avengers. It's like smart, but with a K, because it's a wrestling thing. And if you want to know what that's about, I don't know, leave a comment and we'll talk to you about it sometime.

But I'm Corey. That's Dylan and that's John. We're going to get out of here. We'll see you guys next week. And we'll talk about something hopefully less convoluted. Until then, bye-bye. Goodbye. We're really sorry.