The Smark Avengers - Vol 4, Ep 22: Fantastic Four: First Steps Just Dropped… So We Watched This Trainwreck

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

🧨 Fantastic Four: First Steps Just Dropped… So We Watched This Trainwreck | Smark Avengers Ep. 22 🧨 While everyone’s heading to theaters for Marvel Studios’ Fantastic Four: First Steps, the Smark Avengers crew — Corey, Dylan, and Jon — decided to take a very different journey… straight into the infamous Roger Corman 1994 Fantastic Four movie. You know, the one that was never meant to be released? 🎥 In this full watch-along episode, we dive into: The painfully low-budget costumes The hilariously awkward special effects Why this movie was secretly made just to keep the film rights How it compares to the modern MCU version (spoiler: it doesn’t) Our honest, hilarious reactions in real time This is so bad it’s amazing cinema, and we’re here for every rubbery stretch, cardboard set, and awkward villain monologue. 👀 Whether you’re a Fantastic Four superfan or just love watching movie disasters unfold, this episode is the perfect throwback to a bizarre chapter in Marvel movie history. 🎬 Sync up your copy and watch along—or just laugh with us as we suffer through it so you don’t have to. Click the link for Dylan's radio show!: http://www.bouncedigitalradio.co.uk👇 COMMENT below: Have you seen this version of the Fantastic Four? Better or worse than Fant4stic? 👍 Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SMASH THAT BELL so you never miss an episode full of comic chaos, cinematic crimes, and nostalgic nonsense. #FantasticFour #RogerCorman #FantasticFour1994 #MCUFirstSteps #MarvelMovies #UnreleasedMovies #SmarkAvengers #ComicBookPodcast #WorstSuperheroMovies #MarvelCinematicUniverse #MovieWatchAlong #CultCinema #SoBadItsGood #DoctorDoom #InvisibleWoman #FantasticFourReboot

As soon as I stepped off the plane, the humidity hit me. And I... Got back in the plane? I wanted to. I got off the plane. We were like, you went up to get our passports checked. And then I took a step backward and stood on someone's toe. Oh, no.

And I turned around. And it was Limford Christie, the, like, he was like a famous runner from the UK back in the day. Yeah, he was not happening. So I claim that I ended his career by standing on his toe. That's my claim to fame.

Does he talk about you in the news? I imagine so. Yeah. There's weird hair. That one on my foot. Fucking precks him out of my foot. I couldn't go to Disneyland. I was so excited.

Mm-hmm. That's what it sounds like. That was my first crime. He got away with him. He did. I got away. There you go. Not the last crime.

Not the last crime. A long shot. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the Smart Avengers. My name is Corey. And with me is Dylan John. How's it going, guys? I really wish that I knew that that was going to be the start of the show.

I was kind of sitting and wonder if what the start was going to officially start and then you don't end it with, and that was my first crime. And me not go, well, I mean, clearly that's the jumping in point. Oh, yeah, okay. Do you talk about crimes a lot? We do. We certainly do. Don't look into that. We'll look into that.

There's no reason for that. So. Normal thing. Yeah. Well, it is the middle of July now, and it's all warm and toasty where we are in our respective places. And last week, we talked to. about three Fantastic Four movies, and this week there are going to be two Fantastic Four movies being watched, one by probably the general population, which is Fantastic Four

First Steps. So that's what's called First Steps? Yes. And then the other Fantastic Four movies is the one that we're going to be watching today. And by proxy, you as well. If you want to. So, you don't have to. No pressure. Last week we, uh, last week we set this up. Um, a little bit by talking about the history of the Fantastic Four movie being made and all of the complications that arose from it. And we skipped a section. And before we go too far into it, because it's going to be a bit of a longer episode, do you guys know what makes this movie so infamous? Yes.

It was never released. Which one is it? Which answer? Correct. So this movie is special because it is. It was made, completed all the way through pre and post-production. Never saw the light of day until weirdos like us went looking for it and found it. But this movie was made for the sole purpose of people keeping the rights to make the movies.

So this is all thanks to the doings of a very lovely man who we lost last year named Roger Corman. Roger Corman was considered the pope of cheap movies, essentially, because in the first his career, which started the 1950s and ended in the 2020s, he made over 500 movies of various dubious qualities and such. He is also famous because he's a director that gave a lot of famous actors their first starts in these terrible movies, like Jack Nicholson. How many those 500 films have you seen, John? I've seen a handful. Yeah. Okay. So, Something to know about going into this is Roger Corman was the perfect man for the job for the simple reason that when they said your budget is $5 million. He said, probably too much.

I could just do it with a million. And that is the truth. Roger, they originally pitched this with a $5 million budget and instead worked with a $1 million budget. And that's why you get Roger Corman to do it. And you can tell. Yes. You can really tell. Maybe it could have benefited from maybe an extra million.

Extra4 million? Yeah. Who knows? Yeah. So, but he made something. He certainly did. This movie started production in December 28th, 1992, or, yeah, 1999. And production lasted, apparently, anywhere between 21 to 25 days.

It seems vague as to how long it took. And then, of course, it never really. came out. What are some of the other fun things about this movie, John? I don't know. You tell me. Radioactive. Oh, I was just, I don't know.

I always assumed that you know a lot of the weird stuff in the background, but the actors had no idea this movie was never going to come out either. That's kind of what makes an emphasis. I think, Dylan, you remarked on that last episode. Yes. Yes. Sorry on. Anyway, we're not going to go too much into the history.

All you really need to know is that this was a movie made out of necessity with no intention of actually coming out, and somehow the lead actors didn't know that, probably because it would have impacted their performance in a negative way. But we're going to be... You'd think they would have phoned it in if they knew that it wasn't going to get released? So you're saying to me? I mean, maybe.

I think they would have to be in a Fantastic Four film. I think they were And then maybe they weren't so happy to find out that it wasn't going to make the light of day Boy, I would love to see the floating version Because we're going to watch the real version And I'm like, imagine they just couldn't get a fuck, you know Because somebody there didn't give a fuck Yeah

So anyway This is going to be one of our standard let's watches We'll have a countdown And we'll see how it goes I think for the benefit, we'll turn the volume down as low as possible on our end. Because while you share screens, we can share the audio, which is, I think, what we did last time. We shared the screen.

That way, we didn't have to worry about all of us starting in sync. And then when we watch the film, you have to take a drink every time the Spider-Man turns into the big robot. Or he does his weird little run. He does a little run. All right. John, what did you? I love that. The most memorable parts of Japanese Spider-Mine is just him doing that foot your gun.

Yes, absolutely. John, did you have to search in order to find the version that we're going to be watching? I literally typed into Google, Fantastic for Movie, Roger Corman, pre-stream. And one of the first things that came up was linked to the Internet Archive, where they have it for free. Excellent. Oh, I love that. Now. You go to this?

Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll start her over at the beginning. And this will be our jump back into the episode. So, guys, are you ready to start the Fantastic Four thanks to the Internet Archive? Oh, yeah. Sure.

Cool. All right. So, with how much further ado, we're all going to do a quick countdown from three to go. And at go, you will hit play. And you should still be able to hear some of our audio, hopefully. And that can help you stay in sync with us if you have to stop for whatever reason. So enjoy, and we'll let us watch this with you as well. Countdown.

Three. I thought somebody else would. Yeah, there you go. One. Go. We make a great theme. We do. Natural chemistry.

We're like the Fantastic Three. I think that was called the awesome threesome from the Aquamanos. Oh, yeah. John, if you heard about any of these actors? I can't say any of these names are ringing a bell. Rebecca Stabb? The guy who plays a human torch was in a lot of sense. stuff at kind of the same level.

What's the name of that Stephen King movie with cat people? Because he was one of the... Skin Walker or something. One of the evil, cat. I always need cat people were evil. I always sat at.

You know this about me. I'm always saying that. Also, what you know about us, the opening title is very boring in person here talking about other things. I mean, nothing's happening. No. It's just space. Hey, some exploded, though. What?

Special effects by Mr. Film. I don't think that's this real name. Honestly, if I could go back in time in this period, I would work in the special effects department of doctors. The other executive producers, Corbyn himself directing, and the Isinger is the guy who had bought the rights to a fantasy performance movie from Stanley. Evan Rock. Some of these surnames are fantastic.

I feel like these are all, like, right, I feel like a lot of them are just Oly Sassone. These are real names. Like, some of these are the pick of the piss. Isn't that the chief from the police academy movies? That is the speed of light. It is.

I don't think. Is it? It is. What the hell? I like 792.458. Thank you, read. You're welcome, sir.

I like how they right off the bat. You see a guy writing on the chalkboard wearing a big white coat. I'm like, I think I can figure out he's a smart man. These 40-year-old men playing college students.

Yeah. You know, some people go back to school. Yeah, that's George Gaines. Oh, damn. The pretty picture? Yeah, what is that? I wish I had a teacher like that. Teacher encouraged you to have fun.

Yeah, but also somebody who really seems to give a shit about the thing he's teaching. You know? That's nice. Oh, Victor. You guys think that the open and title music was way loud of the actual dialogue in this fucking show? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Should we get a smidge more volume, please? Yeah, or like put the subtitles up in? Yeah. All right. You don't have the ability to use subtitles. We have time. Okay.

Um, yeah, just turn up a little bit then. I'm gonna restart this. This is a dodgy looking chestiness. No, I don't think we missed that as important. Okay. This is Storm is boarding a hoist. Oh yeah, this is, I remember this being uncomfortable as fuck. Yeah, this is a bit dodgy.

What fuck video game is that? Yep. A kid? No, no. The kid is, the kid's Johnny Storm. What? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh dear. Boy, so he'll kill that 14-year-old girl that he's going to eventually marry. When was this film out, the 1990s? She is a lot of harmony from Buffy. Shouldn't have done that. Oh, red flag. And he's kidnapping up in a child. I don't like the notion of Vin Grim

knowing Johnny his whole life. What's wrong with that? Why can't a grown man be friends with a small child? It's almost as weird as a young girl. Michael Jackson did it, and he was fine. As far as I know.

All you have to do is adopt them, and you can just later on get with him like Ted Nugent did. What do you do? I don't know if that's cool. Well, Ted Nudgeon. is a cool anyway. As we learn from our earlier crime discussions,

a crime that you get caught in is the one thing. It's too long, and so far he managed to somehow avoid public scrutiny for that one. Yeah, just don't do that crime, really. All crimes are good. I think we should... Mark Avengers' sake, not all crimes are good.

So what is this big machine for? dream of faith. It's here right now. We're going to harness the energy tomorrow. You're going to harness the energy. You'll harness the energy. You smacks them across the face. That's my hand.

You son of a bitch. Aw. Whenever they were so close together, I'm like, oh, they're going to kiss. And now I'm like, are they going to kiss? One second too long. They're very paly, very, very handsy. You know? What the fuck?

What are we looking at? Lights in the sky? Yeah, the funky light show. I mean, I would argue if you look up during the nighttime, there's always lights in the sky. So it doesn't ever expand on what the experiment they're trying to accomplish is. It's just an experiment.

Yeah, they're harnessing the energy, which if we're going with the comic floor, it's so that dude can open a portal on hell. Okay, well, I'd feel to see why that would be a bad thing. Are boarding homes still... Is what? I don't know if I know of any boarding homes. I was just thinking about the like Reed and Victor and Ben all living with the Storm family.

Where else are they gonna live? When they do their crazy experiments. Don't you mean? Victor, watch out I don't know why that tickles me Oh no Wow, he really got zapped by that thing Yeah, he's still zapping

I like kind of like that one ball of lightning just like singled him out He was like, you know, the world's coming And then Mr. Vattavans was just watching this whole thing, like, wow It wants the connection with Doom with Sabert, the machine's style Yep. It was personal. So really, it was doom that was powering the machine. Also, is this the boarding house still? Because if so, are they cool with the fact that they cut a hole into their roof to build this antenna?

Yeah, they're like, dude, how long have you guys been having this big, incredibly dangerous energy manipulator machine in our house? Because we have a small child here. I think he just shook his head as if he's dead. He did. Yes. He didn't even check his pulse or anything. He's just like, nah, he's gone. Ben Graham has seen some dead bodies in his time.

He got Zapped for like two hours. He's definitely dead. You mean? It looks like Jimine Clement. Isn't that the guy? So he was playing chess over there? Yeah. I remember what they're dealing.

I mean, that could be anybody else with that body. Like... Where you take him? Kiss him. I'm just do. Kiss him too hard. Yeah, the shifty-eyed man and scrubs of the mask on is also about totally. We'll be making this body.

Don't worry about it. Well, they work at the hospital. It makes sense to me. It's hard to believe that boy's only 19 years old. And which boy? There's two grown men that. Yeah, exactly. Well, they're supposed to be college boys. Are they going to kiss, too? I mean, they're still at it. I know it'll cheer you off after watching your friend die.

My boss, can we kiss? too? We must save him. We must save him very too late. And you know what would save him? Little kiss?

Little kisses? Little gentle kisses. Oh. This is gonna... Ten years later. Give me a hard 10 years to read Richards when you see him too. Like, dear God.

You're not even... He looks exactly... Yeah, but now it's not weird that they live with a kid. Thank you. I'm joking. You'll miss this chance. You'll never have another chance to play.

I guess you can get grand money to do anything. What building is this? The bike's the building. Look at all of our... Look at all of our weird chairs. Yeah, look at our incredibly unhelpful and unwieldy every architect. This is a horribly designed building.

I think you'll find it's fantastically designed. You will also probably watch four other movies that were made around this time, and this exact same set will have been used. And you got yourself in the X-Men one we watched? It was not a Roger Corman movie, unfortunately. If it wasn't, it would have fooled me. That's creepy. Yeah, it is creepy. What the fuck?

That was really weird. Also, his face is weird? Can I... He's got a weird face? He's got jowls. One thing I love, right, is that... Read Richards... Yeah.

There's, like, tons of shots of Reed Richards just standing and staring at stuff. And I'm like, I find that quite unnerving. Look, they're gonna kiss. Look, he's just staring at stuff. You know what he mean? He's not moving. He does this a lot.

He does this a lot. We're already like, what, five minutes in this fucking film? So, by the way, ten years have passed. Johnny, I don't think. Yeah? We're ready. He's like 30.

Why is Johnny looking at her like that, too, for a moment? You know why? Yeah, it's my sister. Am I right? Not legally, you don't get caught for it Well see now it's perfectly fine Because I assume she was supposed to have been 14 So our 30-something-year-old man

And our 24-year-old girl here That's not that weird It would be weird if it was a 34-year-old man And like a 16-year-old girl That would be weird What's also weird is everybody just Washing these two lovingly gaze into each other's eyes You're just down the road

There's literally... This woman looks like she's playing a caricature of the 1950s housewife. Oh, look at that! Hey look, we have a name. I actually really like that framing, like that. Like that's such a fun... Look at what? Did you see read again just staring off in the distance?

We're never gonna be able to stop looking at that. I'm gonna notice it every fucking time Can I just say by the way That this has already done a better job of establishing Dr. Doom Than the 2005 contested for film 100% Yeah Like now we know why he's wearing the mask

Like it all makes sense Who the fuck is it I forgot all about him Every movie's better with a little pervert We all know it What? Is that the moleman? My statue!

My statue! I'm a statue! I'm sorry I'm... Oh, I dropped my planes! What I've been is an asshole. Oh my... Why are you lifting up this blind woman like that? Are you gonna kiss?

This film already is a treat. You'd be much more handsome if you're covered in rocks. Right, she just realized that he's got a weird face. That's what I'm saying. I really am sorry. She looks more scared than anything. She just got lifted up into the air by a large man. Don't worry about that.

Which she couldn't see any of the harm to have to happen to us. I also think that this film is doing a better job of displaying her as a blind person than the 2005 before it filmed in. Well, she left with her cane. That's already a marked him. Yeah, she actually uses it. Uh-huh, great first impression. She liked me, I can tell.

Are you sure? Yeah, well. Just keep telling yourself that, Ben, you know why, Ben? Because it is an embarrassment. Why are you guys yelling at you? Yeah, but no reason. The other people who work in this building are just like, God damn it. These two.

Different blind woman? They've been mumbled... This whole... And no, they're like, we can't yell at this big, aquit building. Oh no. Happy birthday. You, stay here.

Follow the treasure. See which floor they get off. Be with you later. What is this? Who is this character? Is it a man or a woman? You know, Dylan, to answer your question, it is not the mole man.

He has a different name. Is this supposed to be the moleman? I don't think so. They're like... He has a different name. What is it? The jeweler. What?

Yes. No. I have the Wikipedia article of this stuff. Okay, the jeweler. He steals jewels, I imagine. What the fuck is it? Look at me. Look at me.

He's hot that, but... After the heat is... Depused, broken into small doses, which gives the prisms time to cool before receiving another blast. Pretty neat. So, that's the diamonds, I believe, is what they're saying. Hey, you know who could use a really, really big diamond? Some kind of jewelry. Bingo.

Does he know? He must know that this... Big diamond... Wait, is this the same room? No, the CIS is a laboratory now. For 10 years, I've carried the failure of that dream with me. It's the same room. Victor's death.

But in a different building? Are they still in the bank? We can. They don't know. Yeah, they're back in the back to the building. I think they ever left the Baxter building. I think that was supposed to be like the lobby of an apartment building. Me too.

Really? Because the Baxter's building is where they live and his office is. I'm there. I call on a day, we got a lot of work ahead of us. Gonna kiss? No. It looks like they're going to kiss, right? Oh.

It's a shame that their first kiss is going to be when she was 14 years old. Weird for everyone. Not the last case. I can't remember if the sculptor aspect of it. In the 2005 one? Yeah. Did they show her sculpting or was it just like, oh, she's a blind woman? It was just her in the bar that one time.

Yeah, I think there was a bunch of deleted scenes that got left on the cutting room floor. That would have made the film way better. Captain America. Why is he spying on this blind woman? Glinder there to be used as objects, you know this. We would be ready to move in one hour of your height. I thought the Juelo will be going out to the big jewel. I think that he will, but he's just formulating the plan first to get the big jewel.

The plan is just go through the fucking bend. I guess Reed isn't that smart if he didn't think to put some gazers in the air vent. I'll just leave this incredibly expensive diamond right beside this rickety old air vent that any small person could get through. It's just like that Catherine Zeta Jones scene from entrapment. You might say that that security system is fucking awful. I like that we have to look through the glass system. Is it? Is this it? Yeah.

This looks like some of the rejected ceramics project. Where did he get that second one from? I can't that second one from. Yeah, what the plug? That didn't have the same the task, like, didn't have a drone, oh?

Like, wouldn't it have been taken off the platform, like, set the security off? Well, maybe it was just literally, like, a little tree to put the big on. They didn't really think anyone

could get through their dynamic laser trade by doing a little jade. Everybody could easily walk through the big fucking gap. Oh man. Did it have very easy? It's the Astor Times is my favorite,

Space Nasty's favorite. There's many. There's a lot. What if they're already like a billion miles there? That's really fun. I like that. Enter the release sequence. Get anything, Johnny?

Right on time. Barron, 18 degrees west, five degrees north. Oh, God, this is awesome. And I'm really quick Ask You guys might be able to help me with this Like what kind of qualifications Did the girl and Johnny Storm have

For being fucking astronauts? You know I was thinking about that too And I was like well I mean That's what they did in the comics in the 60s So I question that I'd question the whole premise Well that's true It's also kind of weird as well

That like it seemed like they'd only just Met these guys again For the first time in 10 years Like five minutes ago And now they're like, hey, do you want to come up in space with us? Yeah. You've been doing all that whole... I pulled the spaceship myself.

I mail you a quantum physics lesson so that you can learn how to be an astrot when I need you again. I don't want to fucking see you until that is. Yeah. Yeah. You can't see whenever you know how to fly a spaceship. Oh, the gel was not bad. Oh, okay. So it's the fake one. That's why the...

Yeah, if there was no, if there was no diamond there at all, they would have... on him to space so they, so for him to get away with his crime, he had to remove of the copy. Also, Reed Richards, the smartest man in the world, didn't at all notice while he was shipping that crystal into the spaceship that it wasn't the same crystal. I mean, we already know that it was a super expensive thing because it was handcuffed in a locked suitcase around a guard's hand and get given to it. So you would have been a little more like character.

careful with it. But he was unknown, surely. Like when he lifted it up to put it in the fucking spaceship, but it's... This isn't the same... This is different way, tire. Crystal? Yeah. It's not even made of the same ship.

It's not even crystal. That's a great shot. See anything? Good stuff, man. Good stuff. Whoa! Are they implying that Dr. Doom blew up the spaceship? Yes.

Look at his sick throne though. Mm-hmm. Dude, now that's a fucking hoaxe. You know what you mean? Look at that. That's way bad in the back, but it looks like an album cover. Oh yeah. Oh my god.

Wow! No expense spared. I'm gonna like... The spaceship blew up in our space, so how are they... In space. What's that thing in the top left? A thumb probably. A tree? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Is the door being propped up like that? supposed to be comedy. He's dead. Oh, come on. Careful, I must be in shock. I don't feel any pain. I think it's cool to know that if a spaceship explodes in space, you'll just float down the earth and land on the ground and be fine. What I like that it is oddly subtle there is that they did show him moving all of that really big stuff easily to kind of foreshadowed something's happening to him too.

I mean there are there's good touches in here. somewhere you know so Johnny's supposed to be an asshole he's very spry probably just been an exploding spaceship that crashed to earth you know what you mean no no apparent injuries whatsoever not a scratch on us and the ship is in a hundred feet no one's asking about suicide i was supposed to say we're fine yeah where's your sister come on doesn't that bother anybody just a little well she's a woman and it was the 90s so There you go, here you go, wait for it.

Wait, wait. Yeah. Here for practical effects. Did I do that? It's interesting that he thought that he did that whenever they are in the middle of like a crash zone where we already saw stuff was on fire. Where are you? It's not out of the realms of possibility that some of the other crash stuff might be on fire. Where?

Come on, now this isn't funny. I'm right here. Say what, they've really nailed the invisibility powers. Well, that's good. you guys, it's like you've seen it go. Your legs, Susan. Your legs, Susan. So in this one, her clothes also go invisible because in the 2005 one,

very famously, Jessica Alba's clothes did not go invisible, so she had to take her clothes off. You just no-silled the stretching effects there. I feel like the stretching effects no-sill themselves. Like, that's not like a big stretchy arm from the... the Axeman thing you know what you mean that we haven't seen we haven't seen the good stretchy stuff yet if Ben what's your hard you go along on these jokes bit's gonna sneeze he shoots rocks out of his nose oh god

what if that was your super car I like this little shot too yeah no cordon you can set a shot that's for sure under terrible movies some of them should be okay how long ways down in there for it four days We must have dropped to lemon. Did Johnny make the fire?

Yeah, he sneezed again. Oh, great. It's gonna be days before they find us, especially if they think we're dead. I'd be pretty angry if, like, every time I took a piss, it was fire. You know? You should get tested. I don't think I'd like that. Yeah.

Just definitely get that checked. Sorry, Susan, I can't. I don't know. But there's no need to panic. At the drop of I had you, you stretched like some human rubber band, and I'm a walking bloat. And you don't want us to panic? Sit down, Johnny. Maybe you'll be more quiet if I give you a little kiss.

I mean, that would shut him up, I think, wouldn't it? What should we do, read? What should we do? There's something very menacing about Ben Grimm and some of these shots. Maybe we can think more clearly in the morning. Yeah, well, he's a tough guy, you know? He's living up to a sudden. He is very grim.

Oh, I thought he was going to ever a kiss. I just pissed off your brother, now give me some lip. Yeah. I guess he's going to sleep? What? I know. He's lit with some fire. He'll go, dude, that's pretty dope. Yeah, it is dope. What'd he say? God help us to leave. Okay.

Aw, there we go. We'll do a snuggle before we ever kiss. kiss. Oh, that's such a tease. How cool this guy looks. The mask does look pretty good. I mean, in comparison with everything else. Yeah, man.

Yeah, this really is a better looking Doctor Doom than the 2005 one. It's not like you're in the Hoover Dam. You get his motivations as well. You know what you mean? Like, you feel like he really has a grudge against... He's got no chill. just for, yeah, but like, for legitimate reasons. He's not just like a fucking mental banker or whatever with metal in his face.

Metro Times. You're not supposed to eat your own clay. Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. That's weird. It's very sick on the lips. No, does that kind as a kiss? Who's on his lips first?

I'm going to say no. Okay. Okay. What is this? Some sort of box? So these were used for the... The humannets. Yeah.

Got that memorial statue, by the way. Those people really... They deserve the best. Oh, good night. Yeah. Everybody wants to fuck this woman. Good night. It's what we've established.

I mean, she's pretty attractive. What's happened about Kat? God saw her. Odd music. The music. Beauty. Says my suffering soul. You...

my people beautiful beautiful people so he is supposed to be kind of like the moleman are such things as dreams are made legally distinct from the moment well that's the thing is I don't know why he would be

because they got the right something fantastic four you think they couldn't chip him five dollars to get the old man right they got everything else I guess maybe they didn't want to feel pressured into

having monsters and stuff and low lloyds or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, they're moorlocks. Yeah.

Yeah, and so that's cool with this old creepy dude he looks after all these, like, people that act like children and nobody's like, that's weird. I guess he's a bad guy, so it's fair enough.

They say it as well, right? She's blind. She's not deaf. Right? Can you show up about that? I mean... Because that's what I mean. It opened the fucking door and came in. You wouldn't hear the door opening?

She's not daredevil. You could hear a door. Because it was the same door that that guy came to look. You can't be dead. You're knocked over her. You wouldn't hear two guys rappelling down through your living room? Oh, I don't like him. They're supposed to be...

We'll attack her one of... Are they supposed to all be little? Yes, they're all supposed to be little. But they only have one little person actor. So everyone else is just on their fucking knees. That's why they're not moving around very much. Yeah, that's probably cool. Why they're stealing her?

Because the jeweler wants to trap him. Uh, make her the queen. Right, but what? What, but he, the jeweler, is she in the boxer as well? I believe that is the implication. Right. So that room, by the way, look completely different

to all the other rooms in the back to build. To the point where it seemed to be a different house. The... On his way to steal the big crystal thing happened upon somebody else's bedroom or living room where he spied her making a sculpture and thought,

I'm busy stealing a jewel right now, but I'm going to, come back for this girl later. Is this, is this correct? Jules make him horny. I stole the dealer. We're here to a scorch you to debriefing. I have a jet waiting about two clicks from here. Hey, he woke up. Yo! Hey guys, good on.

It doesn't seem at all surprised to see his friend as a big rock monster. Again, I think that costume looks way better than anything from the 2005 movie. Oh yeah, the chicklas stuff. I actually do think that costume looks really good. It does. It's very clearly like foam, but it also looks really good. Like the way it's moving. Yeah, like the eyebrows and stuff.

Sounds like Patrick from this one, Bob. I'm gonna go get some help then. Is, is... You think it is? Please, calm down. Maybe I think you'll kiss, it'll calm down, you know? Is he give him a little kiss on the hand? Is that what he said?

I said if you give me a little kiss, it'll calm down. I'll just get to kiss him on his little hand. Come down, man. Yeah, I'll kiss you on their big hand, but then you've got to use your big hands for something for me. You can make your hands very big. I can make my penis grow really, really big because of the stretchy. Good evening, Mr. Grimm.

I just wanted to make that clear. I was a spell it out for you. Who is this pervert doctor? You have been placed in isolation until we can determine the claws of your condition I'm going to need to take blood cell

I like we're going to determine the cause of your condition and like I think it was the same thing that caused

the condition of the other three fucking freaks out there right why don't you have a seat

so we can maybe work the chair as he sits down it's got out of oh little things

like do you think you could explain this to me maybe demonstrate how it works

I don't know they felt This guy wasn't a cartoony enough actor. They had to give him the old mirror headband. You don't like my hand, and then I just lay him on. Yeah, I'm starting to start. I don't think he's a real doctor. Absolutely made with the attention of this thing's never going to see the light of a fucking day.

It's like, they did one take and they went, yeah, that's fine. This is what I mean. I'm like, these guys really had no idea that this film was never going to get released. Like, if they'd have watched the final cut of it, they would have known it's not gonna get released. I, I sort of. Miss Storm? Looked at.

She was bright here a moment ago. Looked at her for a full, like two, three seconds and then... Are you okay? Here. Take your own blood. Okay. Give us a comedic faint, please? No.

Okay. I see, I knew it was going to get worse. I told the key to the greatest single breakthrough in scientific history. So that doctor works for Dr. Doom? How did he get from wherever they were to this castle? Yeah. And what if? We took all into one man.

Oh, your doom is the bad part of the film. Oh, yeah. It looks like this is like David Cross' one powerful brother. Which is ironic, because David Cross was in arrested development, where they put it on like a fantastic or musical. Daddy's, Daddy wants to get his rock songs. The bird must be entertained.

They must be brave, completely and absolutely. So is Doom in New York, or did that doctor just come all the way from New York back to that area? That's what we're saying. It's a big castle. It's not New York. It's like clarity out in the middle of nowhere.

you know, up in a big mountain or whatever I don't know what the trope was with all villains have to have comedic goons for a period of time. Yeah, like, why would a big, scary villain just hire the stupidest fucking people? Regular. Well, you didn't notice all those people a moment ago?

What the fuck? Yeah, I know like they turned a corner. You know they wanted Tim Curry for this role, but he wasn't available. What accent was that? Blatherian. We will make it worth his wife. It sounds like

one's trying to sound like Peter Lurie and the other is trying to sound like Tim Curie. I can't take it anymore. Look, we've got to get out here, huh? I don't even know if they've called mom to tell her that we're still alive. Yeah, so... Hang on. So, like, the government...

The phone, no television, no nothing, huh? The 2004 and brought them back. And then immediately hooked them up with a doctor that worked for Doctor Doom who has just imprisoned them. Do you know what you mean? How did the army go? Yeah, this doctor will do.

You go to this guy. And he'll lock you in a room together. Maybe for a while longer until we find out what's wrong. Why don't they let us help ourselves? Look, I say we go for it, huh? I mean, what have we got to lose? We're either all in this together, or we don't move.

Kiss. What do you want you to do? I want you to kiss me. I've been very clear with this. It has been promised to another. This guy's not getting a kiss. This guy's not getting a kiss. She does not seem to be very happy to have me.

Oh yes In the theater Russian accent She will be And she realizes We are alike Outcasts in this world But

She's a smoking hot woman That everybody wants to get with The second They're outcasts Yeah She's an outcast because she's blind Are you You're an outcast because you're

We will have no choice But What They have pepper boxes? They knew these people all have guns. Yeah, they just saw this, a moment ago. And they get, they look surprised again. Like, oh shit, dude.

What did these gun guys come from? And is not for sale, period. If you come back again, I won't be so merciful. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, the implication was the jeweler, switch the diamonds. and the diamond was supposed to be on the spaceship, the power of the spaceship, and it exploded because of the big diamond,

and Dr. Doom was like, I did this, which would implicate the fact that the jeweler and Dr. Doom were working together. No, no, no, no, no. I think the diamond was switched, okay, and then because it was switched, the experiment went wrong, and then the Fantastic Corps got hit with whatever radiation it was gave in the power. but after Doom's sabotage the spaceship separately

so he was always planning to blow it up there's so many random things that just happened I don't like the very menacing angle that if Alicia was about to be sexually assaulted the 80s new wave album cover of these two guys in the scene right now is also throwing me off

how many album covers is that not I mean these guys were quit out that was their sophomore slump so hopefully we get a third I came close This is pretty good to you This is the castle Wait So they're in the castle?

So they weren't Okay I'm very confused So they are in Latin area What are I supposed to do with these cats? You guys to see that? Yeah That was a fun little smash cut

To keep us from seeing a fight scene Okay Yeah, they're better open What? So they've switched costume. Yeah. To see what's going to... Because they think...

It took me a second, too. So they think they're in America, I guess, because they interacted with American soldiers. Yes. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm with you, Roger. The doctor was American.

He didn't sound like he was from... No, but it doesn't explain why he was in the... She broke her fucking hand. Wow. She punched him. She's never punched him before. She's a woman. The 90s.

This might just be the answers we're looking for. So that explains why they're in the castle, though, because they've always been in the castle. I've no idea. So they crashed ended in Latvaria? I guess, yeah. That's convenient. The military didn't sign Latvary in, did they? No, but I think that's part of the plane.

Not sure. is to make them think that they're somewhere they're not. Very convoluted a plan. Yo, dude, quick. I need, like, 10 guys to pretend to be American to kidnap like four incredibly powerful, weird space people right now. I'm Dr. Doom. I can get whatever I want.

Why didn't he just do that anyway? Yeah. He bust down the fucking door. He just bust down the fucking door. Because I think they were still trying to decide whether or not they were going to cooperate with what they thought were the American government. Can incorporate some... This is good, too. They're like, we've got to get out of here, and they're like, wait a minute, guys.

I say all big machine, then I already like to look up. It's a good seat. Where are we? Beautiful, charmingness, supreme and beloved monarch. Come back to visit us from time. What a vacation? Bring the kids. I mean, I was so loud, I was that.

Oh, he's a funny man. No, no, no, no. I have not even started. We're going home. A rude of you. I want you to feel at home. And you're running off like dohy little tooth. I just had to love that. Yeah, well, who asked you, you ever grown tin can? Eat your...

I'm into giving very... I'm over here and give me a little kiss. Yes. I'm just hanging out over there. Hey, what's up? He's this fucking metal guy. I go dead. Your value for me remains the same.

Doctor Dome has a little bit of a Bain thing going on where sometimes you don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I will return. You're fair, he arries himself with a lot more gravitas than any of the other movie, Dr. Dumes. Dude, honestly God, they're really kneeling Doctor Doon. They've got this guy down. He really does seem like he's... You understand his backstory.

You understand that he's this like crazy, tyrannical dictator. He lives in a fucking castle. He's like constantly swishing his cape around. Yeah, he's really showing off the costume, which I like. I think that's a lovely... A lovely touch. Do what I love about this the most, they're still shooting them. At no point are they like, it's not working dude.

What? What? What? And he goes, we'll cover you with what? The big rock guy. He'll do all the work for them. They shot each other. Uh-oh. We're still shooting each other.

I don't know how. Why can't we stop? Why can't take my finger off the trigger? Wait, but I have an idea I'll stretch God that's gonna be the shittiest I'll trip him up He's burning a hole in the side of the building

And read this idea is I'll just trip these guys up And they'll just stay down forever Because like He can really Skip on foot What was that wipe? Somehow we got back to America. Doing science, please.

Aren't you glad my apartment looks like this now? Broke that big wall. Didn't get shot by a zillion bullets. I just wanted to say that. Reed, I just wanted to know. Can we kiss, not? Whatever comes to this? I mean, even if we don't recover.

Him just staring off in the space again. Or if we get worse. Something shouldn't go unsaid. What did you say? That's it. That's it. I just want to enjoy you. What did you just say about being shy?

Problem that I have some time. That's it. Susan, that's it. You've got a problem with being shy, right? So, you vanish, yet? No. Johnny, you've always had a quick temper now. Come on, ever since I've known you, right?

You could call it fiery, so what happens? Exactly. And me, I've always had this problem. I just stretch myself, kind in, all the time, trying to take care of everybody, trying to do everything at once. Too many things. This is a great explanation. I don't know, it sounds like a...

Not to use a pun, but a bit of a stretch. I really like that. But like they find a way to meet all the sins. I think the way they got around it was a bit silly, but like, I really like that. This fucking ped. It's made us feel that our worst character defects are in fact... Oh, that's nice.

Batman, I think you're right. Except that the three of us go back to normal. Our changes are only temporary, but I mean, why I've been like that all the time? You can't all live normal lives. Slipped out on himself rather quickly, didn't you? Don't stop me. You were having a great time

beating up Dr. Davis people, and now you're like, leave me alone. I'm actually a very sensitive rock monster. They were but kids. It looks like they just peaked in the end. Because that's exactly enough. I mean,

I hope I don't see it. weird rock monsters oh shit just love me I would love to see him I really want to see him just like walking to a Burger King or something if he's in New York there is a McDonald's on the main road that

take it a whopper real quick no I'm joking all I want is just the place I don't care what you want oh man no one's going to kiss me especially when they look like fucking rock monsters She made a costume with a big four on it

When one of them just walked out on them Who's the fourth one? So the point of the costumes Was so they could wear something That could shift with their body molecules They don't need a costume In this scenario they've created for themselves We are the fantastic four, remember?

Right, wouldn't it make sense If read me the costumes Because he would have the scientific know how To be able to have one that's fire resistant one that could turn invisible, one that can stretch with his whatever, stretch abilities.

My friend, offer you know how? Don't understand, like we understand. See, the problem whenever you portray people like this, they start to get really odd ideas with the homeless communities like, I assure you, if you just are approached by someone, they're not going to start

talking to you, like they're at a fucking Renaissance fair. Welcome, friend. Come with me. Come! Well, now, the problem you have right now is assuming these guys are homeless, but we clearly saw that they did have a home where they live with a creepy old wizard man. Yeah.

They live with a weird old pervert under the ground. Yes, which is the house. That's a family. How is that TV power? By the client. I want to ask the fact of the first. point. One thing I do like, which I don't think

is on purpose, but like, the idea that she's blind is also that she has no idea what the fuck she's been dressed up as. Like, what is this? I'll never be a claim. You just heard some crap dialogue as you're reciting these lines. The most fascinating one

I've ever seen. You have to meet him. You gotta come see this fucking rock monster, dude. until I say so. And the guy that... Don't wait my woman while I'm in there. Try to score my lady here. Come on, give me some privacy.

They start sniffing her. They don't wait for my woman. I said... Come on, gee. They're just an underground society of perverts. Let me introduce you to bed. One thing I like about watching the film like this is, I'm not sure where the jokes are. Do you mean?

I don't think they're supposed to be. The pain. Yeah. Well, no, they're obviously They showed, like, seconds ago, Doom's henchmen shooting up holes in the walls trying to go after the Fantastic Four Yet they do a quick cut

As if Doom just walks into the room To utter silence, they go, huh So there is, there are jokes It's supposed to be there, but... They're not. Right, but they don't make sense with jokes. They're paced like jokes, they have, like... Yes, they have the myths.

they appear... There's no... There's no joke. It's just like a chow. You know? Yeah. I mean, we were supposed to be a joke when Ben got leaned into the camera and asked, you know, Johnny and Sue's mom. Right.

Like, in a way that that's supposed to be, like, lighthearted and humorous. But, like, it's not at all, humorous. I'll dare that you soon. No question. Like, Huck. Very good. I really like these, like, apocalyptic. There's now shots of Dr. Doom.

So what you mean? But how is it even possible that Doom knows about the time? It's a bit weird, though. Like, you can understand it to begin with, maybe if they're, like, trying to save the big reveal of his costume or whatever. But to keep going back to the while we've seen him. Ten minutes ago. I also want to point out that Johnny and Rita were different clothes,

but Sue is still wearing the same uniform. I think her strategy is, if I keep wearing it, They'll warm up to the idea. Don't you think it's cool, guys? I think it's actually like a really cool costume. I made these myself. Don't ask how I got your message. I'm running away.

I guess. I eyeballed it. Quick to the filing cabinet. Under D for donuts. The filing cabinet in the wall. Oh, I threw a Mitch Hedford reference there, bud. He stared at this fucking... So he looked at some notes and figured out the...

Dr. Davis still alive? Yeah. He just hit it with the double-by? Yeah. I think we all saw that little Hulkcault and Bose. Is he going to rip off his tunic neck? Is he going to be really, really racist? You know what I love about this film?

Fucking guns make no goddamn difference. Except to that guy. He fell down the chasm. Let me tell you about the infrastructure of the sewer system. York apparently it's full of bits. Yeah, what's down there? More sewers. Who's the bad sewers? You don't want to go down there.

This guy's fucking hands. I'll fight ya. He has a gun. I will ask you only one to stand aside. Also, he's made out of fucking metal. Now is that the joke? That he's mattled but he has a gun? Or that he's gonna try to fist fight him?

No, there he is. I don't know who this is. Okay. And your voice sounds kinda weird. You're like a rock monster, are you? Because that's a total turn-off for me. Few things I hate. Rock monsters, tiny little gremlin weirdos. I've been very good. I can do a lot of damage before you are.

We have not seen a scene yet. That's cute. Oh, there it is. That's the second time, right? Mm-hmm. So we have Got clobbering

Where she's not being Minnissed or grabbed against her will by the way Hang on a minute Oh well Seems another boy

is not quite himself today Mark himself to bear And he's still A buff Maked man Can I shoot him?

Let him go We have what we want I love love the idea like the guy lets him go and then doob says let him go like he already did you're not catching him as well let me just rub my metal fingers all over your face so the people who want to find what we are rock monster weird gremlin metalman not a great selection is it smash cut so he's like the Hulk kind of Why did that happen?

I don't know. Only got three fingers. That's all I need. Hello. I could hold chopsticks for two. Hello, it's Dr. Doom. Good to see me again. Good and hug.

This is a little device I've been playing. I hope you're safe. It's working well. I put a TV in your house. The diamond and a friend of Mr. Grimm. Oh, by the way, I like his hand movies. He's very expressive. Yeah.

Allow me to demonstrate Mr. Curtis. Robert Downey Jr.'s Dr. Dean's going to be like this. It's going to be eating fucking apples all day. Did they just show footage of like the nuclear bomb tests? Of course they did. Horwood's been using that since the 50s. Been using that since it happened. He's a spectacular time.

He's like, that was his footage, but the thing I'm gonna do is really like that. I trust me. Oh, that pun. That's a pun. Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh, fuck!

It's right up and hugged to Rock, man. Ow! You're really rocky, dude. I skinned my face giving you a hug. I got a friend of yours with him. Yeah, tell me your pun. That's why nobody gives you a kiss me, but... me more man.

Memory that got us involved in this mess in the first place. He'll be waiting and we know it. This man is so flat. There's no need for all of you to be involved. He really is.

He's not good. Nope. I've got my reason. I actually like the guy who plays a thing. His face was weird, but he's doing a good job. Yeah, I mean, I love the animatronics that making the lips move and stuff. Yeah, right, exactly.

Once you cover the face with like I'm gonna say a better looking face he's great I gotta make sure nothing here happens to sis we are the fantastic it seems a lot of the time like Johnny's trying to flirt with him

I feel like that's a perfect and yet not a single kiss I feel like I also feel like they just said your character's annoying little brother and he's like what age am I playing 12

and he said sure yeah for a little bit yes I missed that last part You guys, you guys Okay, so this is a bit I remember stealing YouTube I don't know Because they were wearing the costumes

Which way And it was like two or three minutes Of like a fight scene And it was So Doom kidnapped that woman And then went all the way back to Latvaria And now they've gone to Latvaria Yes

I thought Doom wanted the crystal though Did he get the crystal as well? You would imagine he must have If he was there and he drove away I know. He wanted the crystal. He did want the crystal. I feel like me didn't.

The jewelers come up as well just... That was so convenient. You managed to step right over the force bill pods, I mean. You are pitiful. Fucking idiots. I even put little X's on the ground from the stand. Hold this trick in the book. I have to put your hands up so that the machine can scan you like they do with the air for you.

pleasure of the kill. Yes, I know. I'm going to see what you're doing. It's not that big a deal. Sometimes you have to do it twice because the machine doesn't pick it up the first time. You have to take your shoes off. The annoying comedy relief goons I have will be fine with the blonde to scan you over in case it goes off again.

Victor? What is your math, little bitch? You may call me. Can't feel good until I'll take it. I'll get the doctor. Ten years ago. Made me, but I am to death. This is great.

This is what this is. It's all the stage-moving. But it's also because he can't emote with his face. I like to think that Doom is really bad about talking with his hands, and that's how he ended up really learned how to use magic because he was just waving his hands so goddamn much. Like, I would imagine this is exactly what Dr. Doom would be like. He would be walking around to do unless we're, like, extravagant stuff.

You know? You know? It would be the fitting instrument of my regent. revenge in what is in each of you is all look at Johnny and suit

completely selling the fact that they came with their body Reach just standing there like he's waiting in the line at the bank Yeah they're in its face man

It's all he does Mr. Grimm after I have friends you of your power Did he call him Mr. Thing? You may watch my men kill

the one who claims to love me. That woman I saw once? I'm gonna fuck her. She's just like, everybody keeps shaking my clothes. Well, if you can't appreciate it, be irony. You're gonna watch. Then I'll call you the cook from now on.

What do you think? What the... I need two torches, but I also need both my hands for you. Stick it on my head. See, he needs the crystal. He did get the crystal. Shoot him right at the four. It wouldn't...

It wouldn't... No reaction whatsoever. Ew, what the fuck. Is she the only one? Right. Reaction. Reaction. That's what laser. The reaction is the thing can't sell anything.

But fucking nothing. Nothing. My dick's getting older. I mean... Now, that's poor design. I don't even get to sell their reactions. You made one mistake, Doctor Doom. You had the force field that worked everywhere except one part of my foot.

Rookie mistake. This bit, I've ever seen this bit before. Fucking killed me. What were they trying to accomplish? We're gonna run into her and then we'll figure out the rest of the plot later. Not on my watch. Stretch clutch. Oh, that's the best.

That's the same graphic they used the last time Johnny Storm used to fire. Oh, he pressed the button. Oh! What are you going to use for a Willem Street? No Johnny Storm. That's nice. That was good. There you go, yeah. He's reacting like my father when something has gone.

I can't stop it. Just life. No, I've no point has he ever been able to view this. He looks like the game genius. I mean, you gotta save the budget. I do like how that look, to be fair. Like, that actually did look pretty decent. Anything like you did when I met you.

Don't worry about my big budget. my big weird hand. Thank God you can't see, huh? Yeah, I can still eat noodles, a whole chopsticks for two of my fingers. Made out of testaments. What do you think? What do you think?

I would love it as those two with the one. Oh shit, I should have locked the door. Look at him. Just look at nothing. Dr. Doom with a fucking mask face it's so much more expressive than mr. fantastic when down and one is that it that didn't look that bad this that one was okay this for being a read you get a real jerk

here i'll stretch it on to save you okay this bit does not look as good it's 1992 oh boy be friends again and I think that friends sometimes his oldest trick in the book uh

why would you do this bit before you can see it do what you mean you still have a chance read you know save me do not think for a moment I shall have a rest until I have a

rightfully mine what is it here's to future my friend suck my dear do you okay and he puts his face like rhr the door was open reed did you kill someone me you're holding a metal hand for some reason i'm holding a brockham in

let's go home let's hope we have a home to go You killed him, man. We gotta get out of here, dude. Cops are going to be here any moment. We were in trouble. We are on farm soil. We've killed a diplomat. Wait, wait, what?

Wait, you're used to word of wee and awful lot of a year. Oh. Just get shot repeatedly, that'll save the day. Ninety-three? Two. That one year's a difference bigger. Oh yeah. I'll tell you what, though?

For a million bucks? Yeah. Not bad. That's been, geez, Corbyter. Not bad. Yeah, he knows that I get the moot. Woo-hoo! No, hey, don't bend at all.

That's not bad. If the particle effects are nice, you know what I mean? Wait, you float into space, you should be dead. I was going to say, he flew up to space real quick. Wait. Why is he in fucking? costume. That's what the comic looks like, I'm sure.

Big kiss! They did it. What time are we in it be? When did we get to? Come on, stop looking at the kiss. It's a wedding day. It's weird. She just gives him a hug. She doesn't really, you get to give me once in this fucking movie. Now it's that turn.

Are I gonna kiss two? Oh my god. I'm gonna say this, right? Ended strong. That might be my favorite part of the whole film. Is that the thumbnail? Can that be the thumbnail? It's just the three of us waving goodbye.

That's pretty funny. So I remember that as a thumbnail. Oh my God. Man. Wait, what's the post-credit scene? What are we going to get? What would be? Dr. Doom.

Dr. Doom was driving the limo. You saw that his armored hand, like the fingers were still moving after he fell. It's the hand that's driving. How does the hand work the paddles? Don't worry about it. Hey, that's the problem with hands. They come up there. But the other hand is in Dr. Doom.

Maybe Dr. Jim sent the other hand out to be reunited with his friend. One controls the pedal, the other steers, nobody sees. You got all the answers, huh? Well. So, Dylan, was that your first time watching that particular Fantastic Four movie? Yeah, so I said that I had seen one of the scenes from it before, and it was a fight scene at the end. I had definitely, because they were all in the Fantastic Four costume.

Yes. And I remember two parts specifically. one was the invisible woman bit where the way that they showed her being invisible was they just didn't film her. Yes. That was like, bingo.

Great stuff. And then Reed Richards doing something with a stretchy arm. I remember that because I'm like, that's terrible looking. That was the only thing. That's the only thing I'd seen. I hadn't seen the rest of the film.

And now I have seen the film. I have a lot of questions. Okay, let's hear them. A lot of questions. We'll make it quick. We've been recording for a bit. Nope. Number one, what the fuck was a jeweler?

What the fuck was that? I mean, it was a reason for Alicia Masters to have met Doom, a convoluted way so that she could end up in Latvia. It couldn't have been an easier way to get there? I mean, she's an artist. I mean, it could very well. have been like, oh, I have my art opening in Latvaria. Yep, so easy.

You came up with that in one second. Hey, we're some of the best. Yeah. All right, second question. Second question. You know, that's it. That's all I got. I forgot all about the comic relief henchmen.

That it's like if Doom is this big badass, why does he keep these two guys alive? also both the villains had dumb ass henchmen both of them it would make sense if the jeweler

had stupid enhancement because he seems like a lower level villain dr doom runs his own ruler of country he can't get like

a couple of good guys to fucking like the bit where they were all shooting the thing for like 20 minutes I'm like tell him to stop wasting their bullets It's not going to work.

And this economy is a terrible idea. Yeah, just like, just throw something else at him. You know what you mean? Throw a shoe. I think this is a... You don't know. He's clearly immune to bullets. Let's try stuff that we don't know if he's immune to.

We'll just test it on. Maybe he's like alert to peanuts. You know what you mean? We don't know. Mr. Thing, can you stand still? My engine has chickpeas to throw at you. We don't know. Some people are like...

like lactose intolerant, just like throw milk at them. You throw milk at the thing and you just get stomach cramps and we have to go. Guys, I don't know what's going to happen, but. Oh, dude, I got to go. I got to put the bathroom real quick. I'll be like 10 minutes tops. I just got to go, you know, because otherwise it's going to be real bad. You're not going to, there you go.

There it is. That's the show. That's the show. Have you guys Have you guys seen that film before? Yes. Yes. I saw it in a movie theater at midnight.

There's a theater nearby that's small and locally owned. And every month he used to have what they called Bad Movie Night. And this was one of the films featured in Bad Movie Night. Bad Movie Night. Yeah. What are you talking about? But yes, no, it was a very enjoyable experience. because I was there with a lot of people who had been drinking most of the night.

Well, to be fair, you're here with the people who have ultimately been drinking. Yes. This was an enjoyable. I don't know if we could have. Every time they almost kissed? Well, I was going to say, take a drink every time nobody kisses. Take a drink every time Reed Richards just, like, stares at nothing. Take a drink every time Johnny Storm throws a fit because that's the,

only way you can be seen as a hot-headed little brother? Yeah, take a drink every time Johnny Storm is fucking annoying. I'm fuck. I'm on fire, given that I'm established that it doesn't work. I'm too drunk, you know. So hopefully if you've listened to this episode and enjoyed it, you will have also seen the new Fantastic Four movie that I'm sure will be just a blow-by-blow remake of this one.

I hope so. I hope that Dr. Do is good. It's going to come in at a crisp one hour, 26 minutes. Yeah. No dead air. Didn't waste it. They did not. Well, I mean, that was the point.

You don't waste the film. We're not paying for a bunch of film. Well, you know what? Like, there is a lot of, like, upsides this film. Yeah. A lot of upsides. I enjoyed this more than the 2005 one. Yeah.

Hell yeah. And not just because, you know, we're drinking and having the crack, but, like, like, loads of it, like, worked. Like, some of the shots for now. some of the practical effects were nice and the special effects were nice. Dr. Doom's great. Yeah. I like the thing.

I mean, there's a lot of upside. I mean, Corvin's whole deal was like making short, entertaining movies. Like, they weren't ever going to be masterpieces,

but like you could count on them for it. Like, hey, we need to get two movies here. We need to get two movies at a drive-in in 1963. Corman's going to write one about a giant aunt taking over in New York. And then there's going to be

another one that's a vague murder mystery involving Edgar Eddrell and Poe poems. you know, that's what he's going to give you. I mean, it was entertainedly for sure. I think the one problem with that film was, I mean, the people, if you've been picking, you could say lots of, the one problem is Reed Richards.

That guy fucking sucked. Yeah. Emotionalist, like, maybe he thought that's the way to play a smart guy is to just have no emotion on your face whatsoever, but, like, he was, he was, he was. was a black hole of charisma. Like, it was not... Weird Richard is the main part of the Fantastic Four.

He's going to be on the camera a lot. Yeah. So he needed to be, like, kind of fun to watch. But he was, like, the dud in that whole film. The rest of them are all pretty good. Like, I feel like they did... Sue Storm had the problem of being a woman in the 90s, which was, like, she was this kind of a woman.

She was there. Her role was just woman. Girl. Which is a shame. Yeah, she made the costumes, because she's a girl. and they make costumes, you know. Whenever we established, it would have made more sense of

Reed made the costumes because they're scientifically... Like you said, also, because they weren't going to show the characters being naked, because it's a, you know, a million-dollar budget movie in 1992, they established the clothes

aren't impacted by them using their powers. They could have just not needed a uniform. Right. They could have just been in their regular clothes. Yep. So, because that

that also seemed like a bit where they're like, we're just going to, we're team now we're going to be superheroes like well why you know

where did that fit come from yeah but and obviously there was some plot points but like I think we pointed a lot of them while we were watching the film but like

for the most part without being too nitpicky that was a lot of fun no it's it's great I mean it's Corman it's what you get you know John do you have any Exactly.

Yeah. I mean, I just, I concur, really. I enjoyed this a lot more than I did the 2015 version, that's for sure. It feels quite true to the Fantastic Four in its own way as well, like the comics that they came from. And, you know, I like that. There's a small excerpt in the making of this. There's a documentary about this movie, by the way. if you're interested to hear the story about how it was made and why it was made and what happened,

there's a documentary for it. I believe it is called doomed. But anyway, there's a part of the pre-production is the costume designer went to a comic book store and bought a shit ton of Fantastic Four comics to make the costumes and described being bombarded once she had revealed that she was making costumes for the movie by obsessive comic book fans who wanted it to be loyal to the comic, which I feel like. Like, for better or for worse, that's what happened here. They made a comic, they made a movie loyal to the comic.

Yeah, I think so. It was fun. Aside from the jeweler. Yeah. Correct. Still really confused. We all could all let us not experience that in their lives. He wanted to steal a giant diamond just to have, apparently.

And then he saw a hot, blind woman and went, got to have her. He's not a jewel. He saw her when she was in her flat as well, so she was just chilling out at home, and he happened to be creeping through the upstairs of her home? I don't know. Yes. Because he was trying to get into the Baxter building

because the Reed Richards had the diamond there. He was in the Baxter building. Yes. Because she lived in the Baxter building, and the only way to get to the vent was to go through somebody else's fucking house. Yeah. That's just modern architecture.

I don't know what you're talking about. about. Well, as we established, that building was a fucking nightmare. Whoever designed that building should be shot. That was terrible stuff. Yeah, there was some real issues with the jeweler, I think. But the rest of it, once we kind of hash it out, it kind of made sense, you know? Yeah. And the dumb hedgeman was also a bit of an issue, but other than that. We can't change time. You can go back in time and change it.

If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. What else? I can't remember much else for that song. I just remember being creeped out. Because her 14-year-old son was playing guitar in the music video while she was like in a Dominatrix outfit in front of a bunch of horny sailors.

Yeah, which sounds a little bit like the film we just watched. A little bit, actually. Yeah. We didn't see a 14-year-old girl get kissed by a presumed college-age man. Yeah, and then Dr. Dimm was going to fuck up blind lady in front of the thing. That was a real bit that happened, that we didn't pick up. That woman was absolutely assaulted multiple times in this movie. He had a rough, dude.

Every time the jeweler would be like, you watch my my queen and then he went away they all did something fucking creepy to her either they menaced over her or they started sniffing her

that woman was absolutely abused yeah she's a real hero with all this she kind of is her first scene she gets bumped into falls to the ground

Ben yells at her goes oh wait she's hot and then lifts her up by her ribs and holds her in the air what the fuck what do you think yeah

yeah you know, you like this? If you like this, imagine this was all rock. I mean, apparently it worked, though. I'll give you some, our, our honeymoon night, you're going to get pittins and, like, rock climbing stakes. I don't know if the Lipton Up worked. I think him saving her from, like, a billion fucking creeps. Because, like.

Oh, no. she was already swooning over him, making sculptures of his head and stuff. Touching his fake lips and then touching her lips. Yeah. Which I have a kind of a kiss. I mean, that's just...

I'm already a one. Yeah, there's only one kiss. Only one kiss. But then, I don't think there was any kisses in the 2005 one. So... You mean there's no case in 2005? I don't think there was, was it?

Reed and Sue get engaged at the end of the movie. And also, it's implied that she's dating Victor in the beginning of the movie. Right. But implication doesn't mean... Implication doesn't equal kissing, Corey. No, but it's the implication. Right. That's visually...

This is turned into the kissing podcast for some reason. This is our boy kissing. seeing a podcast. Our spin-off podcasts are numerous and very short-lived and terrible. All right.

Speaking of things that are probably terrible, John, how many movies have you watched so far this year? Oh, that's a good question. This puts me at 502 now. 5.02. I'm glad we could help. Glad we could help. Yes. I wish we hadn't, we'd gotten to you two

movies earlier. Imagine John, what was the last? No answer. No answer. What was that? I didn't miss the question. What was the last film you watched?

Fantastic Four. Was it good? It was great. What did you give it on Letterbox? This is a good question. question. I might give this three stars, I think. Oh, give it four. Yes. No, four's too generous. Two and a half. Maybe three and a half.

All right. Three star I seem is appropriate, I think. Yeah. Speaking of things that are appropriate, what do you get up to on Tuesday nights every week? Me? Yes. Is it Tuesday or Monday? Nothing. It's Monday. Okay, there you go. I see we have a regular listener on our. hands. I never listen anything live.

I do. Huh? I never listen anything live. Fair enough. So I do a radio show. On the radio,

you can find the link, I think we're going to put it below. It's like Bounds Digital Radio.com. I play all sorts of music. I play like popular stuff you probably heard of like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, 90s

grunt stuff. I play all sorts of. So Kit Bush. blurb all that kind of good stuff I also play a lot of like fun bands you've probably never heard of um who have I got that you might not have heard of

Dai Kaiju are really good um jellyfish I talk about all the time I fucking love jellyfish um so there's all sorts of like you'll learn a lot

from my show it's on Monday nights 9 o'clock to 11 o'clock uh UK time you can figure out what that is if you don't live in the UK. And it's a good time. Did you check it out?

All right. And as for me, I have another show called Orgel Cup. It is a stream of consciousness, spoken word podcast where I just talk sometimes. But that's going to do it for today. This is the end of our celebration of the Fantastic Four. Unless we just really feel like talking about the Fantastic Four movie sometime real soon. Let's see. You might, if it's good.

Yeah? You talk about how Andrew is. Talk about why four different creepy people kidnap Legion Masters. No need for this. Oh, well. You know. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye.

Bye-bye. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.