The Snark Tank - #100: Sweeney’s Girlfriend Is Real???

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

We made it to 100! Thanks for putting up with us for so long. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

At Applebee's, drink stays better when they're sipped together. That's why they're dropping two new still-together sips-cuites. Made with still-gill-gin by Dre and Snoop. After one taste, you'll have your mind on your sips, and your sips on your mind. Must be 21-plus, void would prohibit, tax and gratuity, excluded, dine and only acceptable carry-out alcohols permitted by law. Dispation May Barrier while supplies last. I earned my degree online at Arizona State University.

I chose to get my degree at ASU because I knew that I'd get a quality education. They were recognized for excellence, and that I would be prepared for the workforce upon graduating. be associated with ASU, both as a student and alum, it makes me extremely proud and having experienced the program. I know now that I'm set up for success. Learn more at ASUonline.asu.org. I, look, I ordered Buffalo Wild Wings to redeem myself. Oh, no. Don't do that. Because last time they forgot my fucking sauce. They forgot my, they forgot my, my garlic parmesan sauce. And I was like, all right, this is unacceptable. So I was like, I'm going to get it again because there's like a promotional thing going on.

right and then this time i was like you know what fuck the fries i want some chips and salsa too um and then they didn't be in the salsa they always forget something this is fucking bullshit yeah that's why that's why we don't do that you don't do that beat up sucks it's yeah i mean i like i like some of their shit like their potato wedges but they they got rid of them i guess at least at this location there's no potato wedge and that was the best thing on their menu in my opinion i don't know what the hell i don't know what the hell you're talking about welcome Welcome to the Star Tank podcast. It's episode 100 is the 100th episode of this fucking show that we do that we've done.

We are joined as always by Derek and me. And we've got a special guest today. And she's an actress who, you know, I mean, you could take it away, right, Lily? You can explain it. Yeah. Kind of like what, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. do low budget things. I was hired for today. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She was hired for tonight because, you know, we kind of on the show, we've all kind of collectively seen Sweeney kind of indulge in this kind of strange hallucination for a long time. And we were beginning to like really be concerned about him. Like he was like, oh man, I have a girlfriend this. Look at this photo of me and my girlfriend

at this place. So we decided to pool all of our Patreon money. and just hire someone to pretend to fill that role so that he wouldn't have to live like a psychopath because it's been it's been concerning because there are times we were just hanging out and then he's just talking to the air and it's scary and then people come over and they're like, is he okay and we have to explain?

It's a whole thing. Now we don't have to explain anymore because there's someone that he's speaking to and it works. Yeah. You know, and now he can live a normal life. I'm getting paid weekly, right? yeah yeah 100% hourly

oh nice okay okay good yeah yeah all of our patron the money doesn't even go to the show anymore good like we this is we do the show to keep Lily on payroll so that Kingston doesn't feel like a psycho good good good it's worth his sanity it really is yeah yep it is

dude there's been so many fantastic edits of photos of the two of you I love it And you're just... He's in the fucking back, creeping like a fucking gremlin. He fucking... There's this fantastic one of...

I think he's in the car. And he's like, oh man, what's your favorite... What was it? Favorite cartoon show. Yeah, what was your favorite cartoon show? And then he pans over to nothing for a solid five unbroken seconds.

Then it pans back to him. He's like, oh, Rugrats, cool. And it's one of the best... It's such a good edit because it's... It's... kind of sucks. Yeah. Because you could see the cut, but it's like...

No, but you can't tell it first. It's so funny because... It's... Yeah. The back of the car is fucking black. All the seats are black. And then all of a sudden it turns to the driver's side. And no one's driving the fucking car and it's fucking white seats.

It's a white-ass car. Yeah. It's one of those things where it would... You know how like movie sets used to be painted in like very specific detail back in the day because those cameras couldn't really pick up on the, you know, the minor detail. And then you watch, like, a 4K Blu-ray of, like, a 1930s movie. And it's all like, oh, this all looks terrible and fake. It's like one of those where if you, if you were not paying attention,

you would think that that's the same car, 100%. Yeah. You know? Exactly. But the second you watch it over again, it's like, ah, this is pretty good still. There's some movie magic. Yeah, I like it. Behind it.

It's not bad. But anyway. It's not bad. No, it's not bad at all. Keep those edits coming. we're not tired of him I know and Sweenie

Sweeney loves him This is He adores it He can't stop He can't stop raving about him You would say that too Right? Yeah

That he's like He can't stop This one I know This one's gonna be it It's a podcast Yeah this is it Someone's gonna edit the whole thing And I'm not even gonna be here

I know it I feel it If that actually happens Then that That has to be That would be the best consulate.

A whole episode, if they manage to just, like, actually go through the trouble of that, we will personally upload that to the podcast.

You guys scrap this one and you upload the other one? Yeah, I like it. That's a good 100 episode. That's fucking, like, stellar. Oh, man,

that would be so good. I wish we could do that, but we should have a proper episode. We're just, we figure 100 episodes, uh, normally these kinds of things, Things are really hacky and annoying because it's like, oh, man, 100 episodes of the show.

Let's take a look at the first episode and see where we've grown. No, we're not going to do that. We've got a bunch of questions from you guys, and we figure we'll just keep this one fast and loose and just kind of chill. And also, we haven't even grown, so. That's true. We're all the same. We're all the same. If anything, we've deteriorated.

Actually, I went to the doctors the other day, and I'm no longer three and a half. I'm three and two thirds. So, no, five and two thirds. Wait, what is that mean? What are you talking about? Wait, what are you saying? Three and a half? You were three and a half? No, sorry.

I used to be five and a half in height. Now I'm five and two thirds. So. Wait a minute. Oh, five feet tall. Yeah. How'd that happen? Wait, you're, I don't know.

What do you mean? I don't know. I'm 25 and, and I grew like, what is that? I don't know. That's like a solid eight feet that you've grown. Exactly. Have you been like stretching or something? What are you doing?

What is this? No, no, I don't know. Oh, you know what? I was wearing platform. That could have been it. Oh, well, that would definitely be it. I was wearing elevator shoes. Let me tell you something.

I've gone to the doctor multiple times in a week when I was dealing with this heart valve thing that I had going on or have whatever. and I really realized how much spine compression throughout the day could make a difference with your height because going so many times, I was measured at different heights. We're in the same fucking shoes. I'm wearing the same shoes. And then it's like, oh, I'm fucking 5'6 today.

I'm 5.5 now. And it's like, what the fuck's happening? It kept changing. And so I was like, all right, I'm pretty sure I'm still 5, 6. I'm not even sure anymore. I just stopped carrying. I don't even know. I don't even know.

What you have to do is this is like an ancient technique where like I heard that like if you You get these like almost like these these square two by fours, you know like almost like the tile swatches for when you're getting tiles And you have to like shove those in between each of your vertebrates. Oh And then you gain like a crazy amount of height just from that alone. You double your height easily. Have you also heard that surgery guys do like at their kneecaps just to get like an inch of Oh my God, that shit's insane.

I remember seeing, somebody sent that to me when that was like going viral because I was like, oh, we could help you. And I remember being like, that is so insane. I would never have a million years. Because first of all, people are proportioned a certain way, you know? People are like, when you are your height, those are your proportions. So when you like add, like, if I had like, if I was exactly as I am now, but like, like, my femurs were four feet long, it would be like a fucking travesty.

That'd be pretty cool. Nobody wants to see that. It's like you're wearing platforms. It would be pretty cool. I think they do. It would be the grossest sight imaginable. It would be like an eldrish, like a, like a siren head. So, I don't know, man.

Would you do that? Would you do like a hype thing like that? No. I can't imagine that like by this point, like you and I are at a point where we like, There's no way we care about that shit at this point. I never did because just where I grew up, I guess being, you know, like in a Hispanic neighborhood, there wasn't that many people towering.

There wasn't like a bunch of fucking giants. And even in the dudes that did get their growth spurts, like say when we were like 17 or whatever, we're just like, oh shit, so-and-so was pretty fucking tall. And then no one ever talked about it again. Yeah. I figure, I think, I swear to guys. I think it's just the internet, man.

I think it's just the internet that gives a shit about height. Because I didn't grow up with, I didn't even, like, say, like, my girlfriend's taller than me. And there, I only think it's a problem online, like, say, that, be like, oh, fucking, what's, otherwise in person, I don't see people staring or, I don't, I don't know. I, I, I, fucking, I just, I don't think it's, I, I don't think it's a real thing really either. Like, I think most of the time, because, like, most of my girlfriends have been taller than me, too. Like, I think maybe one was, I, yeah, there was one, like, Lacey was shorter than me by a little bit.

But I think for the most part, yeah. And it's never been, like, a weird problem. I did, a long time ago, uh, date. I was, I remember, the only problem I ever had, as far as that goes, was, I remember dating. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low, No mileage lease on the 2026 RAM, 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months, with $4,0,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details.

Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.

$20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. A black girl, and I got looks for that. I remember getting looks. Really? In New York? Yeah.

Well, it was like Hicksville, New York. It was like upstate. Upstate is considered Hicksville? Yeah, upstate. The further, because it's where all the fucking grasses. And everybody's like, I'm going to get away from the city and away from all damn fucking, you know what. 100%. 100%.

Yeah. So they get away from the city and then they just racistify the rest of the fucking. It's a fucking terrible. But it's, it wasn't like, I don't mean to make a. sound like fucking Tennessee or anything, but it was definitely

like more red than the city. And I remember getting like fucking crazy looks. Not all the time. It wasn't like a daily thing or anything.

But every now and then, that was like a nine month relationship. And I remember easily it would happen at least like a couple,

handful of times a month. And they probably didn't even know your Puerto Rican. Oh, no, for sure. Definitely not. They had no idea.

You have to like dress a certain way. Then they would know. I was definitely not dressing like a Puerto Rican like at all. Not like identifiable. I didn't have like a fucking, I didn't have the flag anywhere on me. But that was that was a time. I get that, man.

Sorry. Do you get that? Do you get that when, because you, you, you, listen, man, you have a type. I don't have a type. See, people just don't know my history. No, listen. They don't know my history. That's, you're right.

Fair. But is it fair to say lately? Old photos. Like, it's just like two in a row. I mean, it's like, it's not enough. I've lived so much life. So it's not, it just, it doesn't fucking, it just doesn't like, it doesn't add up. But through it, I understand why people think that, though.

I'm not going to, I'm not going to be ignorant and be like, oh, I don't, why are people like, oh, I get it. They've only known me for this amount of time. So then they just assume. And I'm like, but if you've known me, you're like, that's. First of all, I grew up in a fucking Hispanic neighborhood. So, you know who's available. And then when I lived in fucking L.A., you know who's available. And I just date black girls there.

It doesn't fucking matter. Now, this shit has just been kind of weird. I don't know why. Look, I've explained this on the show already. It's just saying I've not- Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm not fucking seeking out European women purposefully. It's just for some reason.

But you guys also love Jeanette McCurdy, so I don't know. Well, I like Jeanette McCurie. Because here's the thing. I like Jeanette McCurdy because she says, she fucking says she's not like her character on that fucking show on I Carly. But like I've seen enough of her fucking interviews and some, she has a lot of snark to her that I feel like there's something there. Or at least maybe she adopted that character to where I'm like, I like. Maybe she means like the tomboy stuff. Maybe she does mean that because she's not.

that for sure. She's not fucking like eating ribs and shit all the time or whatever. See you guys like that. She's snarky. Yeah. Listen. Yeah, I think so. But I doubled over in pain when you said that name because before we started, before we started recording this, we're all hanging out in the living room

and then Lily bursts out of a door. And what is it, what is it the fuck that you said? Okay, Derek, this is for you because I already know Chris's answer. He said yes. He admitted it. Okay. So, I did not. Yes, you did. Okay.

If, say it was Jeanette McCurdy and she, she didn't pee when she pissed. She didn't pee piss, right? She pissed like Koolet Jammers, chocolate milk, whatever you want, right? A thousand percent, it's that juice, drink, whatever you wanted to be. Would you drink it? It's Jeanette McCurdy. You're going to say no to Janem McCurdy. Here's a thing.

Here's a thing. Out of sheer curiosity, I would. Because, like say for example, so check this up. Titty milk doesn't turn me on or something, right? However, let's say, you know, it's hypothetical. My girl's pregnant and stuff, and all of a sudden the milkers are like coming in and shit. Out of curiosity, I'm going to fucking try it. I'm going to try it.

Like, come on, let's be real. It's not like I'm going to be like filling this shit up. Like, hey, keep a stack aside for me or whatever. Like, keep a bottle filled up for me or some shit. It's like, no, I'm just going to try. try the titty milk. It's at a sure curiosity. You know what I mean? It's milk. And I'm just like, whatever. Okay. So. And Chris said no at first until I brought up Jeanette McCurdy. No. That's not what happened. Sounds like what happened. It's exactly what happened.

You thought about it. You thought about it harder because I said, you know, I'd only drink it if it's actual piss. He's like, no. Listen, here's the thing. and I brought this up before. It's not a matter of, because your whole thing was like, would you consider it piss? Oh, yeah, that was my second question. It's not, oh, but it doesn't matter. It's not piss. So, like, why wouldn't you drink it?

It's less about it. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 57-2 for lease details. requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis financial.

Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from yourself.

phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Not being piss and more about the fact that it's, it has been stored in a bladder or like a urethroof sometimes. It's the same reason, it's the same reason why you wouldn't like eat cake off the fucking floor, even if it's cake. It's like, yeah, that's sterile, baby.

That's sterile. That's terrible. Oh my God. Okay, also, also. It's sterile. Get the fuck out of here that bare grills shit. That bear grills bullshit.

It's sterile. I mean, it's why you don't fucking get sick from drinking your own piss, homie. Okay, sure. Okay, but Sue, you guys,

I mean, I've never drink my own piss just for the record. No, you haven't. No, you haven't. You know why? You know why? Because it feels like it would

get you sick. Well, no, it's just, If Piss didn't, if, I like how like we, I don't know. How do, is he, he's, he's, he's, I know we're paying you well, but is, is he, like, he's being okay? He's not really upsetting you or anything. We're good? Hmm.

He's all right. Okay. Hopefully. Does he overstep? Hopefully we get more Patreon subscribers after this. Yeah. Oh, we fucking better. Yeah.

Yeah, because we're going to have to keep Lillian payroll and I'm sure her prices are going to keep going on. But, um, if what we're seeing in the background. is any indication. Yeah, because he is, you know, his social skills aren't the best,

you know, he doesn't really not act around women. He's trying. He's trying. He's trying. God bless him. God bless his heart.

You know, I remember when I found him on the street that one day, when I moved to L.A. This is a first story, actually, like,

I don't think I've ever told this story, and it's fitting that we're telling the story on the 100th episode of the podcast. I remember driving around L.A. with my very good friends, and we see this man doubled over

in that silver surfer pose kind of like, oh, what was me? On the street. And we pulled over, we were like, hey, what's wrong guy? What's wrong?

And he goes, my family we weft me. He was just on the street. Yeah, the six foot black man. My family we weft me. And I was like, wow, you sound like really like disabled.

Are you okay? And he goes, yeah, like I was on a short bus and they kicked my family. My family kicked me off the short bus. And I was like, oh man, we got to get you help. And so I took him in and then I gave him like a little bit of a little career and fixed his, fixed his speech impediment. And ever since then, it's been smooth sailing.

Except for the psychotic break where he hallucinated a relationship for someone. Hey, man, you mostly fixed him. You're like that, you're like that, you're like that, you're like that, you know, helped out Helen Keller, you know. Exactly. That's honestly how I think myself. I don't like using the word hero because it's like a little too, you know. But, you know, if you wanted to use it to describe me, I wouldn't be like, oh, that's a terrible word or anything. Yeah.

But I think he also fixed his homophobia because I haven't heard him say that he hates the gays in quite some time. I think he actually shed that, which is very. That's right. He was actually like while he was doubled over in pain on the side of the road, he was writing homophobic slurs in chalk. in permanent chalk. I don't know where he got that. But, and one of my goals was,

one of my New Year's resolutions that year was to rehabilitate him and kind of get him out of that. He has not uttered a homophobic slur at all this week. So I think, you know, I think. You forgot one thing. You forgot one thing.

His gap, the gap between his teeth. Oh, right, right, right. Well, so that was there before I found him. A lot of people think I did that to him. I did not. I promise you. That was, that was entirely.

Don't tell him. He's, he's super self-conscious about it. Really? Yeah, don't tell him. That's why his family wetting. I think,

so what the fuck, so what the fuck has been, like, so I don't know what the fuck is going on with Kanye, but it's the one thing, it is the one thing that I have seen in the news that I even remotely paid attention to. I saw, like, photos of him holding up, like, notepad.

That show was awesome. Pages. See, here's a problem. Go ahead. Sorry. Before you gone. It was memed so hard that I have no idea what the original thing was. I don't know what the context is.

I think he deleted everything as well. He did. He did. So, like, I'm fucking lost as to what's going on. I don't understand. Yeah, and I don't like, look, I'm going to be honest, man. There's the whole separating the, it's like the, it's like the separating the art from the artist thing because it's, look, so many people are, I hate this because I want to laugh at

this whole situation, but I'm reminded everywhere I see that, no, just remove Kanye West's name and put any other guy's name there. What he's doing is fucked up. And I'm like, oh, you're ruining it for me. Stop. Stop ruining it for me because he's doing very, it's a one-sided beef. Pete Davidson has done shit. You know, there's it's supposed to be an amicable split. Kanye is with another chick. You know what I mean? Like, he gets

to be with another girl and then all of a sudden, oh, but you can't be with Kim. You know, you know, it's fucked up, but I'm like, it is. It is so weird to me. Yeah, yeah. And he wanted the divorce. It doesn't make any sense. Right. It's very confusing. But also to me, like, what's extra

confusing about it is like how the fuck, he's he's with a person right now. How the fuck does that person feel? Like what do they have to say about that? And she's a model. I'm so curious about what her opinion is on this. She obviously, unless she's, there's no way she could be happy. But at the same time, you have to, you have to, something has to be wrong with you to see, publicly see what Connie's been doing and to make the decision, yes, I want to.

to get with this guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it hurts him so bad that it's Pete, you know? That she's like, I don't understand that. I almost made a video because I do not understand Pete Davidson. And I wanted to just be like, can somebody please explain to me? Because the only thing that I've heard is that, oh, he's got a big dong.

I'm like, yeah, how many beautiful, gorgeous men can you get with Big Dongs? But why are they getting with, why is Ariana Grande getting with Pete Davidson and other people? What is it about this guy? Because when I look at him objectively, I was like, oh, this looks like a sickly man. This looks like a man that has some fucking deep issues. And I've seen a lot of his comedy recently because I wanted to see, like, what's Pete Davidson into? And I got to tell you, I've had a couple of chuckles, but mostly I'm like, this is unfuny.

And I'm just, I don't, I don't get it. I genuinely don't get it. It's almost like, it feels like a con to me. It's like big Bain theory kind of shit. Where it's like, it's like the shows, writers con people into them. Like, we're gonna pre, with the laugh track and everything put together, we're gonna con people into thinking this shit is really good. And this is the best fucking comedy show ever.

And I'm over here looking like, how is this happening? I don't know. I don't know. Do you see anything in Pete Davidson, Lily? Can you shed some light on this? What is it about him that women like? I think it's his confidence. Because, like, he may not be the best-looking guy,

but he believes it so hard that he'll make you believe it, you know? Okay. I can agree with this. See, I didn't know that he was that type of person. I didn't know. I haven't seen that. I thought it was the opposite, actually. I thought he was like, ah, I'm fucking, I'm a goblin.

Look at me. But that makes sense, though, because I think I might have said this on the podcast before. I had this rich friend, Muhammad, and he was kind of, you know, he didn't look the best. You know, this is like, and but the few times that we went out, like, he loved to go clubbing. I hated clubbing, but I would go out sometimes with them. And I would see him all over these gorgeous women. And, like, they don't know he has money because he's not dressing in, like, rich clothes, like, oh, I have like Versace or whatever the fuck, you know, whatever, Gucci.

But you just be all on them grinding, whispering into their ears and kissing their necks. And I'm like, do you, I do you not see, I'm like, do you not see him? But like his confidence just made them feel so good. And so, hey, I guess, man. That is a real thing. There you go. It really is like a, it really is just like a fake until you make it type deal. Right.

Or like, you just have to just like, even if you pretend to be confident for long enough, and it just becomes true, you know? That works. I think it was definitely... How can it not work? Yeah. Sorry, what? No, I think it was definitely after, like, Ariana, too.

Like, his confidence went from zero to 100, you know? Pulling one of the most desired women on Earth would definitely build your confidence, you know? Like, I always say, like, most desire doesn't mean, like, she's the best looking, but most desired. There's, like, Beyonce, her, and I can't think it was... Who else? Who? Huh? Who?

What? Genetic. These see. I said, I said Judge Judy. Judge Judy? Judge Judy? So I, man, hmm. I want to tell this story, but I'm not sure what I can say about it.

You can say everything. So I, I smoked a little bit of we. and was tripping a little bit on weeds, plants. Herbs. Just weeds. Herbs. I'm a hardcore Republican, and I hate that. But I had a moment where I was flipping out because I was watching TV at a friend's house.

Well, while we were all like high on weeds. and right now with RAM trucks declaration of deals well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,09 due at signing tax title license extra no security deposit required call 1 877 ram 5722 for lease details requires dealer contribution and lease through stilantis financial current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify extra charge for miles over 32,500 not all customers will qualify Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22. 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will

hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. for an office near you. This commercial came on for justice. It was like Justice Judy or something like that.

Or Judge Justice Judge. I don't know what the fuck. It was some weird shade. It looked like a fake show. It looked like a show you'd see on like Rick and Morty Interimensional Cable. I was like, this is fucking weird. And then it was Judy. It was Judge Judy.

But it was like her but older. And like it was a different show. And I freaked out because I was like, this is Judge Judy, but that's not Judge Judy. When did they recast Judge Judy? who is this person, how could you recast a person as themselves? And I was like, flipping out. I was like, I was smiling, laughing, and crying at the same time. This is freaking me the fuck out.

It was terrifying me to my core, to the core of my being. Because I thought that Judge Judy was just no more. And for some reason that mattered to me. Because it was like the one piece of like real reality that I was clinging to. Like, so was just her but older? I don't know what the fuck. The show is called. It's like a new show.

So what I think what happened is Judge Judy, the show, is owned by like a network. Right. But she can still do judge shows. So I think she is doing a new show. Right. But I haven't seen her on TV since like fucking what, 15 years ago. So she looks a little different. And I thought it was another person with a really similar name taking her place and just sort of steal.

Almost like a like a body snatcher type thing. Where, like, it didn't quite look like her. I was like, the fuck is this. So Judge Judy's a mantle. You can inherit, like Thor or some shit. Yeah, like Captain America. It's so fucking bizarre. That's what I felt like.

I was like, did somebody else become Judge Judy? Do those judge shows are fucking hilarious, man? Yeah. They are great. I love when they fight. It's so freaking funny. I just, how? How are the, the, apparently, because I've seen some people behind the scenes,

and there's somebody that I knew from my, from my area, I was on, like, Judge Joe Brown. And I'm like, apparently these are real fucking people. But I refuse to believe it, though, because they're so fucking stupid. Like, it's too much. Well, that, well, that's, that's the beauty of it is that there's so many people getting into altercations with each other that all they have to do. is filter out the most ridiculous ones and just air those. Right, that's true. That's true.

Because some of them are just ridiculous. Like, Your Honor, this man dropped a rabid dog in my baby's crib. And you're just like, how the fuck is this a real story? Like, they're the most ridiculous stories. But it's all real. Like, I know a guy who was on, I think, Judge Judy. And he was like, yeah, no, I fucking, I was like, what? What the fuck is this?

Yeah, that's. How many were there? There was, because there was Judge Joe Brown, there was Judge Judy. Oh, uh, um, Mills, Mills Lane. I think he had a show for a minute. Oh, I don't know. I know that was, like, the Hispanic. I haven't seen Hispanic ones.

I've only seen like Hispanic like, uh, Jerry Springers, like Jose Luis. Yes. Which was, um, which was, it was just basically, it was just a step above, uh, Jerry Springer, where they can do more shit and they fought harder. It was pretty awesome. I've never seen that. I haven't even heard of it. No, it's dirtier.

It's dirtier, yeah. How defined dirtier, though? So, because Jerry Springer in the beginning used to let them kind of physically touch each other, but it got to the point where now all they can do is run at each other and then security will grab them right away. Jose Luis, a lot of Mexican TV, they don't give a fuck about shit. Like, they'll just let them fight and. The language is dirtier. The scandals are sexier.

It's like, I remember watching Mexican news. Just some news. And then I saw a fucking little girl, nine years old, get hit by a van. I saw it. And I was like, I can't believe I just saw this. I was like, they would. And it's crazy, too, because that was. Right.

Yeah. And that was a promo for the news. I was just like, and the news at 11. And then bam, the little girl goes flying across me. Rag dolls. Tune in. Dude, it's, it's, Hispanic television is wild.

Because I remember even like VVSI, VVZone or something, or like Telemundo or whatever, and they would have some of the, even just like the weather was, you'd be watching the weather and there would be just this, this,

it would be like a fucking wet t-shirt contest or something. Right. Just telling you like how many degrees or how much fucking rain was, and it's like, what the fuck? Who was it? Was it one of the phases? It was like a phase?

You know, there's like two billion of them. One of the Faze people and the Faze clan was dating a Hispanic weather person. And her ass was like bigger than her entire body. And so now they broke up. They broke up because he wanted to focus more on call of duty and like competing. And everyone, the entire internet called him gay. It was so ridiculous. I was like, oh.

That did have. I forgot all about that. I forgot that that is real. Yeah. And she was, I mean, she was, she was very attractive. But like the reaction, though, was it was unnecessary, but it was still funny to me. Because people were so, they were mad for, they were mad at him. Because like, like, like, like, it has anything to do with you.

Derek, that's something you would do on Twitter. I mean, probably. I mean, it's just, I love, I love to fuck. I mean, come on, I love to fuck around. I can't stand when people take things like super serious. there was what was it Pokeyman

she just posted some dumb shit recently because Jidian Agderon that guy that she was beefing with yeah she was like

she posted a picture of like her the makeup yeah no makeup photo and then she was like this face this face will this face has made more money

than you'll ever see and I'm being like yeah and look I pointed I didn't have a problem I said some shit where I was like yeah I don't, she looks fine without makeup.

You know, she looks like a normal girl. But, like, I was like, her arrogance is fucking ugly, right? And then, then to bring it more into the, because I was like, this seems like a very, like, okay, like, like, oh, like I'm actually disappointed or something where I was like, not really. So I replied with, I just said, makes my pee-pee, like, super soft. I said something so childish to just kind of bring it back into, it's, it's, it's, I'm just being tongue-in-cheek.

It's not a big fucking deal, right? and then some girl replied like like she owes you anything like she needs to make you hard I was like I don't think you should take any sentence from an adult that has pee pee in it seriously like at any point in time pee pee pee pee I was like like like as if I'm

really genuinely like oh man my dick is so soft like like she's so I'm like I don't but there's a lot of go do me do listeners do yourself a favor go to a Pokemon's post or whatever just look at the replies and there's genuine like hopefully these dudes never

are in the same room or same vicinity as her because they will do some fuck shit to her it's it's scary what is it like fucking psychos Ultrasymps man I'm talking about shrines of stuff like of her making murals and all this crazy shit that I'm like That's scary as hell

Like a hey like a Hay Arnold shrine Kind of not as bad as bubblegum, but just a step below that. You know, it's just all this stuff that I'm like, oh, this is too elaborate to be a joke. You know what I mean? Like, they wouldn't spill this much time on a joke. Does Kingston have any shrines? Yeah.

He definitely has a Spider-Man shrine. Like, there's a fucking light-up, a light-up fucking Spider-Man up here. Flashlight? Oh, yeah, fleshlight. That's what it is. That's what they're called. Yeah, yeah. He has a light-up, a light-up Spider-Man fleshlight.

It vibrates at night. It scares him. Can I used to Wi-Fi for no reason? Does he have a Spider-Man costume and it has like a hole in the crotch? And the zipper doesn't work? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's Milne Morales. Yeah, we knew. And then he has another one of Gwen Stacy. Oh. He has a Gwen Stacy costume. Just depends. he's feeling. Hey, man, you know, freedom.

There's freedom in that, I guess. Yeah, hey, I ain't gonna hate it. You know, I just laughed it. I just laughed at it, but still, you know, as long as he's comfortable and happy, you know, I'm not gonna judge his sex life, you know, whatever he wants to do. I had a, I had a Spider-Man costume,

that I kept for way longer than I should have, for sure. Like, it was like, when I got when I was like eight and I wore it until, like, I did know, There was no good reason why I should have had it for that long. You still have it, Chris. I don't know where it is, unfortunately. But if you knew, so you would still have it. If I knew where it was, I would definitely wear it again.

Like 100%. There's no way I would fit in that thing. But like, because the thing about a costume like that, right, is when you get it when you're a kid, it's all like awkward and it's all like fucking, it looks like pajamas. Yeah. And then you grow a little bit.

And then it like, it becomes tight. and it starts to feel like a real Spider-Man suit. Like, it starts to feel like a lot more authentic. So, like, I remember when I was, when I was getting bigger, I was like, oh, this feels like actually like real, real cool. Yeah. And I remember, I don't remember when, there's no way I would fit in now. Except in the crotch area.

That's, that's, that's, that's the problem. That is the problem where that would, that would be very painful. But, that's when it gets good. That's when it's the best, you know, that. the tighter the costume, you know, the more, uh, the more male cameltoe you show. That's cool. Male camel,

I always hated the term cameltoe. It's such a fucking, guys don't form camel toes. You guys don't have a fucking inside. Yeah, I mean, what else you're gonna call it though, you know?

Dick print, I don't know what you call it. Yeah, there's definitely like a, there's definitely like a, like a bulge. Yeah. But,

what do you mean? Like, it's, oh, okay, yeah. You just, you just reminded me as,

Something. He just reminded me of something in my senior year in my English class. We had to split up in a group and we were doing Hamlet or Macbeth. I can't remember. We were doing one of those fucking plays. And we had to make a poem about it and then use whatever to put like a storyboard. So I was like, all right, we're going to use this Batman comic. I don't even remember how the fuck I got it. But it was Hamlet because it was the king. And so King Hamlet was Batman, obviously.

And I remember the first fucking image of him I there was a slight bulge on his costume already. So I took fucking like a Sharpie to bolden it like pretty good to make it bigger. And then

I cut just a little bit of space and then stuffed it with some paper. And so it made a 3D. It's just like 3D fucking bulge. And I was so fucking proud of myself. And it was a smash shit. Like I wrote all the bullshit.

And then it was, my teacher was like, can I use this as an example to, like show my students in the coming years? I'm like, fuck yeah, man. And I hope everyone has found that bulge. And they thought it was just as,

like, hilarious as I still think it is because I'm a fucking, I'm a fucking child, dude. The seller that still is like so funny to me. you're out of your fucking mind man I mean how do you how do you not see that

it's it's like when you see adults color those those comic books where instead of coloring in Spider Man's legs the correct color they'll color like

the skin so it looks like he's yeah oh my god yeah that shit's so fucking funny there's fucking adult coloring books

I mean 100% yeah it's remember that whole That whole wave, this was probably like 2016. There was like a huge wave for adult coloring books. And adults were making clubs and shit.

Huh? Like the anxiety ones? The stress one? Yeah, yeah. You remember that? Like, it was, that was a really big thing. Even though one of my roommates was like, oh, yeah, I'm in a club now. And we meet up at the library and we all colored together.

And I was like, what? I mean, okay. That is like baffling. That is a truly baffling activity If somebody was like, hey, you want to come to the library so we can color And you're like You're like 28 You're like going to

You're going to the doctor to figure out like Ah, my skin on my arm is like really hard and weird And I got to go check that out because I'm fucking old And then your friend's like you want to go color There's like groups It depends on who brings the best coloring The fucking best crayons Yeah, so you know that there's

like somebody in that group with like expensive like crayons or whatever it is they're fucking using. Is it so so wait hold on is it is it is it weirder for so what is the concerning ingredient in that so there's a there's a bunch of grown adults coloring right but and that alone is already weird but would you judge them by what they were coloring with like if they were if it's like a 27 year old coloring with crayons versus somebody coloring with like proper like artists markers. Is there like a class divide? I don't know why the the pre laid out coloring like the outlines to color stuff in seems so

weirder than say just somebody drawing like because yeah that doesn't really seem that weird like just drawing. You're like hey, I'm just drawing some shit. But for some reason just grabbing that book and then coloring in all the lines and stuff just seems like, what are you doing, man? Yeah, it's like, hey, here's, here's colorless Vegeta. And the other one's kind of just like, oh, I got to stay in between the lines. Yeah, it's like, let's see if I can, let's see if I can perform this basic task of

staying in the lines of a pre-existing IP. It's so fucking weird. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1,500 Big Horn crew cab 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM 5-22 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery

by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember the... I cannot remember the...

last time I colored in a coloring book. That is an eternity ago for sure. Right. But, oh man, I saw a good question that I fucking lost. Before we get into questions, though, we don't have to talk about this specifically because I don't even know what the fuck's going on, but I got a lot of messages today about like,

are you scared about Russia? And I was like, what? Oh, that's interesting. Well, I've been keeping, I've been keeping up with it because depending on what happens say towards the end of the first quarter the start of the second quarter this year

I was figuring out what I was going to do because there was a possibility that for maybe the rest of the year I would just move to Lithuania and save some fucking money you know because they have their housing is really inexpensive and it would be awesome

and then I would just come back afterwards So there's a possibility of that But I was thinking about that Because, you know, Lithuania and their capital And pretty much is just right by Belarus And that's where a lot of shit's going down There's Belarus and then just a little more to the right

It's Ukraine. And so there's fucking Russian troops already in Ukraine and Belarus And so with the whole beef going on I was like, hmm You know, it would be kind of annoying If that possibly spilt into Lithuania Which I didn't think so but right now as it's looking like,

it's looking like things are kind of de-escalating. So, like, at their first, it was looking pretty like, oh, shit, they're going to start fucking dodgy. Droning each other and shit and firing missiles and bullshit. But I think Putin's like, we'll get horrible sanctions. And, you know, I don't think they really, nobody really wants to fucking war it unless they know they can do like what we've been doing.

You know, like, oh, let's fuck with people that don't. What happened? Yeah, I just saw a bunch of messages. I was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. Like, yeah. I'm not paying attention to Russia right now. I don't fucking care. I mean, long story short, it's not even, it's just, it's battle for Ukraine.

It's as simple as that. It's like Ukraine, oh, go to NATO or fucking Ukraine. What does Ukraine have? Join up with, with fucking Russia and their bullshit. Ukraine has, and this is true, they, they make all. of our discs, anything that's on a disc that is printed in Ukraine. No way. Seriously?

No, of course not. I don't know why the fuck. I fucking knew it. I don't know. I don't know. This is going away also. So like it's like... Exactly.

That doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah. No, I don't know. Ukraine is just, I don't know. There's some fucking political reason that I am too uneducated to talk about. But we got some questions from our lovely patrons over at Patreon. com slash the snark tank UNSC forward

onto Dong Dong wrote in he says Good Day Sentient Crime Statistics What's a moment From a porn video That's made you stop

And laugh Or was just Otherwise bewildering to you I already have an answer for this So I will go Because this is I think you might have

seen this too Derek Did I ever send you The video of the Alfalfa child You've explained It on the podcast Yeah saw it because of that's the one that's the one man have you seen it no i just i already know

you've not seen that video i already know man you of course i'm surprised i'm surprised i'm surprised sweeney hasn't showed it to you because that is a that is a mesmerizing video where it's these two women going at it and then a small like like a like a two-foot-high grandfather figure like elvish almost like no yeah no like it's i swear to god it is the it was like a fucking umpalum or something. But it was like the strangest thing I have ever seen to this day. I think it's called midget grandpa fucks lesbians or something. It was like something like that.

And I saw it on EFECT, of course, because that's where you see all the fucking ridiculous shit. But that was, I'll never forget that one. That is a classic. So, that's just a science experiment. There's a video that I want to find. But you lost it? I don't know how I would.

because I made the connection after I saw it, the way later. So I was on, I used to go on EFucked, like once or twice a year, maybe like back in 2015 or something like that. My friend showed it to me in 2012. It takes a while for them to build up a good, like, back catalog of stuff. Right. But then I stopped. I haven't been on in years. Yeah, me neither.

One year I did go back on in like 2018 or something. and I saw this guy wearing aviators, short hair, leather gloves on, like he was like some 80s metal guy. But the rest of him was naked other than the aviators in the gloves, and he was fucking a cake. And I was like, what the hell was that? That's fucking hilarious. Why would you fuck a cake?

And then I realized there's this YouTuber that I was following. His name's Razor Fist or The Rage Ahollic. he goes by either name. He does these rants about video games and shit. And he wears like 80s leather. He wears gloves and 80s, but he has long hair. But I was like, the way that guy looked in that video, I was like, is that fucking razor fist?

And I want to see the video again and compare and contrast because I feel like this was old school razor fist before he started doing YouTube or around the time he had short hair and was fucking cakes. You just send it to him. Send it to him and be like, is this you? I want to. I want to find the video and be like, this you? I really want to do that

But you should just ask him You should be like hey man Man to man like can you ever fuck the cake on video I don't want to ask him without the evidence No but like I mean He's not gonna fucking admit that he fucked cakes You wouldn't you wouldn't admit to that? If no because if that was his thing

Like if he was proud of it You'd think it would be like on only fans or he would You know we'd know about this We'd know about it if that was his thing What kind of cake was it? I just remember it had like, I could be misremembering, but I think it had,

it was like white and then little pink frosting. I don't remember what... It probably was, something like that. My memory is not, it's so vague because I wasn't paying that close attention to it. I just saw it for like a good 10, 15 seconds. Like, oh, that's hilarious.

And then later on made the connection. I think that was him because the, like, the skin complexion, the avian the gloves, because I know a lot of people, a lot of 80s metal people, wear that shit. The aviators and gloves and shit like that, but... Yeah, it's a pretty common thing. It's probably not him.

It's, it's, but I need to see it again. But how do you find... There's so many cake videos. That's the problem. Like, I don't know how the fuck I would find it. That's true. There's probably like a metric fuck ton of cake. Ever since American Pie also.

Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. Yo, I cut out an article of some guy fucking... He fucked the pie right out of the oven. Imagine. Imagine taking it out. That's disgusting. Oh my God. Wait, like a real person did this? Yeah, a real person. And then there was an article in the newspaper.

Third degree burns, obviously. Obviously third degree burns from fucking. I just, how do you not like, I just, I don't understand how do you not, like I understand a, no, I don't, I don't understand, because a little kid probably, it can't even, wouldn't even think to do that. It's there's no reason that should ever have happened. We have so much technology. Why are you guys doing this?

What is what's going on? Don't say you guys. I'm not doing this. I'm just saying in general. I mean, there's there's a somebody told me. I don't remember who I was talking to, but somebody, there's somebody who bangs food,

like fruit on Twitter. There's like a, there's like a, yeah, I don't remember who I was talking to. Do people like her question? I get, that's what I think. I think it is. I think it's like that. Like, you should do this next. But, uh, I mean, that's, I mean, we, on one of the last podcast, we were talking about the guy that just bus loads on, on, uh, his phone that has pictures of Pokemon on it. So, okay, I guess that makes more sense.

I mean, it's better than fucking food. I guess I will say it's better than fucking food. I mean, what a waste. I mean, I, I, I, what a waste. It's like fucking using Playboying. That's it. You put your load in that fucking page it's done. That's like stuck together. So, just ruin it. The thing, so

I actually don't know if I would agree that it's worse than fucking food. What do you mean? I actually don't know if I would... How is that not worse? You know what it is? Because like,

because what we do with food already is just like, oh, we eat it, we throw it away, like fucking whatever. It's like one and done. But your phone,

like, that's part of you and you have that. on you forever. So, like, just the idea of, like, coming on your phone and then, like, getting it inside, possibly, like, the, the, fucking... Yeah, they're waterproof now, man. I, I don't know, man.

That seems like so much more unhygienic somehow to me. Well, I feel like it's, because, I mean, our phones are fucking filthy as fuck already. Oh, yeah. They're, they're so filthy. Uh, so. Yeah. So I'm kind of, like, whatever, I mean... To me, you just...

As long as someone else doesn't do it on your phone. phone, right? Like, it's yours. Well, yeah, because that, that, I couldn't, like, I would lose my mind. Can you fucking imagine the audacity of coming on someone else's phone? I mean, it kind of sounds funny. Like, he's like a serial, like, he's a fucking criminal running around the streets of, like, fucking Los Angeles coming on people's phones, like, rapid. They pick pocket you, not to steal it, but just to come in and then put it back in your

pack pocket. Just to come in and put it right back in your pocket. That would be so much worse. That would be so much worse if it was like, if we still lived in the like the flip phone era where they could just like swoosh it. Oh, nice. I can't even explain how upset I would,

I would, that, I feel like nothing, like, I don't like. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, four by four for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,00099 due at signing. Tax, title, license, extra.

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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter

and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

Touching my own juice. Like, it's... No, nobody, nobody likes that. Do you guys really not? Is that weird? Huh? Do you guys really not? It's weird?

I don't think it's a little weird. I don't think, I think it's, I think, I think that's default, but I could be wrong. I've never actually talked to enough men to ask, but I feel like the default is that, like, I don't really like touching my own, I don't like, I don't like, I don't think it. You know? Okay, but you guys. Well, I mean, I'm sure porn things, it's, you know, I don't know. I don't know. So you guys don't, are you guys weirded out by like a, by a girl like there, there come?

No. And I think that's the, and I think that's the, uh, that's a double standard. There's a double standard because like this stuff, I'm a man and that, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like, even though it's my own stuff, it's still, it's still come at the end of the day. Well, you guys, I don't want. Do you guys feel like, that's it? You're gay after it touches you? You're gay.

You're definitely. If you make contact with your own time, you're gay. Like, with that a doubt, like, you're the gayest, you are. Yeah. I'm going to have to, that's a little bit, I think that's a little too extreme. I say if it makes contact with your face, then you're gay. All right. That's a thing.

Just make sure. Just make sure. That means he definitely touched Derek and he doesn't want him. No, I've actually, I've, we, I think we, I swear to God, we've, I don't know, if we've mentioned this before or if it was, no, I don't think it was on a podcast, or I don't know who else talking to, but no, I've, I've, never, I've, Good. I would say, like, I've hit my shoulder before, but as far as the shoulder.

I'm not gay. Jesus Christ. You've hit your shoulder? I've hit my shoulder. No, you have. Seriously? I think everybody's hit their shoulder. Yeah, I've hit my shoulder.

I mean, but. But like, listen. I bet I bet, I bet sweetie fucking popping off in his face all the time. And he swears it's a quote-unquote accident. Well, actually, that was like, it's funny that you mentioned that. Because while he. was doubled over in pain on the side of the road writing homophobic slurs

into the ground with permanent chalk he was also shooting a load into his own face which seemed to be like kind of like a it's one of those things where like it seemed to me like an internal conflict thing where it's like I hate me I hate me

I hate how could I do I love that he's right behind him he's right there I'm clipping this for sure. Yeah, I think that was, that was also like another, it's funny that it's so funny that you mentioned that because that was like totally just like another thing that was that was going on that night when I found him. That was a big thing that you missed. That's a big thing you forgot to a fucking mention.

Yeah, I have more details are just unfolding as we go. Yeah, it's almost like I'm just adding things, but I swear I'm not. Yeah, I believe you, man. I totally believe you. But if we Googled it, we'd be right there. Oh, yeah. have we googled it like that article about him

fucking being kidnapped oh my god I fucking love it you love that article describes him perfectly too to what I first knew him as fucking purple hoodie oh my god shut up he knew he heard a year to he knows

don't talk about it yeah he knows exactly what we're talking about end it end it what's going on he said end it end it he's done nah too bad man it's done We'll move on, though.

James Passmore wrote in. He says, since you're going to reach 100 episodes, what show have you watched that stayed consistently good after 100 episodes? I think your show is one of them. Well, thank you, James. Hey, appreciate that. Yeah, that's a very nice high praise. I don't know, actually.

Like, I don't know if I watch many shows that go after 100. Yeah. Like, 100 episodes. You guys always watch Seinfeld all the time. Yeah, I do. But that's like an obvious answer. Like I'm trying to think of like maybe one, uh,

maybe like a less obvious answer. The thing is like 100 episodes, that's, I don't you figure, it's a lot. You figure 22 episodes a season generally for like sitcoms, maybe even shorter for like dramas. I don't know if any dramas. I don't know if any drama has been good for 100 episodes.

Breaking Bad. Um, there's no way breaking bad is 100 episodes. No, yeah, I didn't reach the five seasons, I think. I don't, definitely have 100. Breaking Bad Episode Maybe I guess Just because so many people

Watch it still Fucking what's it called The Hospital show The doctor show Oh fucking like Those dramas There's like so many of them Like ER or like general

Are you talking about the soap Grey's Anatomy Grace Anatomy Oh that's still on? Yes Oh my fucking God There's still more new seasons You're fucking serious

No I'm fucking serious So hold on Shit There's so many people Still keep fucking watching I don't get it and I'm a girl I just I don't get it right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 ram 1500 big horn crew cab four by

four for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing tax title license extra no security deposit required call one 877 ram 5722 for lease details requires dealer contribution and lease through stalantis financial current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify extra charge for miles over 32,500 not all customers will Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22. 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is

always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. for an office near you. Holy fuck, the 100th episode was in 2009. Yeah. 383 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Bro, how does that even, like... Is the cast still alive?

Like, what? No, they just... Yeah, it is, it is. See, I can't fuck with that. See, I used to watch this British show called Misfits. That was fucking awesome. It was such a good show. And then I forgot, like a two or three seasons.

seasons in, everyone's different. It's like, this show fucking sucks. Oh, yeah, that's British TV, too, where they, like, their entire series lasts, like, maybe, like, three seasons. It's, like, they have, they're the worst, man. Like, that show fucking Luther, uh, with, uh, with, uh, with, uh, Idriselvo.

Fucking great show. And it's, like, six episodes per season. You're like, what the fuck? Like, what is that? That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's not enough. That's not enough. Like, you're, you're, you're fucking, come on. The goddamn Harry Potter

movies was longer than that shit. Like, come on, what are you doing? Fuck are you doing, man. It is fucking just ridiculous. But yeah, that's fucking British. There aren't many shows that are... I know for a fact, dramas don't last that long. They don't. Yeah. Remain good.

I really liked... I don't know how many episodes... Speaking of Doctor shows, this sitcom Scrubs, I don't know how many, but like... The season one through eight was fucking fantastic. They did season nine, which was weird.

It shouldn't have came back. It shouldn't have came back. It just fucked it up and then they canceled it. But the way that it ended eight was perfect ending. It was fucking great. I'm assuming that went to 100 episodes with eight seasons. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's Scrubs is 182 episodes.

Oh, nice. Yeah, I highly recommend that show. It's, there's like a lot of, it's just, it's my humor. It's like stupid. And then there's like extremely gut-wrenching moments too. That's like, it's a weird balance where it's so dumb. But then it has some parts where even I'm like, oh, man, I'm going to fucking cry. Like if I need to like, I need to put on a, I need to go to live leaked real quick or something.

To feel alive again? Yeah. Yeah. It was good. You have to see someone get struck by lightning like three times and then you're like, I'm fine. Then I'm like, I feel good now. That's Kingston, man. That is Kingston.

That's totally him. I'm not really that big into that stuff. To me, I like seeing people like fall and get hurt. Like, I think that's like the extent. Has he told you? Or like that guy's doing that. Huh? Sorry.

Has he told you about the tire video? I'm not sure. The video of the tires. Runaway tires? Oh, yeah. Like he plays that constantly. It's like the only thing you play. I think he knows that more.

No, I don't think Derek has seen it. That was, that was, that was, that was, when we were living in our previous apartment, that was like the thing

that we would put on a lot. But he knows that, he knows that video more than, I think he knows D&D genuinely. Like he's obsessed with it. It's fucking hilarious. It's just these fucking runaway tires hitting these people

in the back of the head. You're like, oh shit, that guy's dead. He's dead. He's done. He's done. It's,

it's so the thing that freaks me out about it is is there's so many of these altercations called on video of just tires runaway tires just like mauling people like bursting through people's like fucking windows and like hitting them at their desks like fucking tripping them at their while they're pumping gas

and hitting them in the face and then going equally fast away from them onto the next fucking target. Coming from the fucking sky. Yeah falling from the sky and you're just like So many of these happen on video That that must mean an exponential Number of these things must be happening off video as well You know?

Because you only capture like There's no way something is happening more times on video than off Right, right Just even when even when you think of like porn You know, obviously there's an insane amount of sex happening Even when compared to the insane amount of porn Like that's being uploaded in any given moment So that freaks me the fuck out

The idea that you'd be like walking Some fucking Swami in the desert Just gets bummed by a fucking By a fucking They're walking a camel in the desert Get hit with a fucking semi A semi tire Oh my God, yeah

Churfs me out One too many near death experiences Rodin He says hello My three dads Who went out for milk and cigarettes your third dad is gone He's not coming back

I just Hey he's not coming back I just saw the news that Netflix has purchased the film rights to Bioshok Well I personally think they'll sit on the legacy And themes of the original

I'm curious what you think of this news Farewell for now I saw this and immediately got like sick I don't know What they're fucking It's so late For a fucking

Bioshock movie Do you imagine if they made Lily Can you imagine if they made, like, I don't even know what would be a comparison. Like, if they made, like, are you familiar with Jack and Daxter at all? Jack and Daxir.

I've heard of it. It's a porn. Yeah, it's a porn. Tacking the Power of Juju, the movie. Oh, yeah, okay. Like, why? Like, it's so late. I'm not saying those are equivalent games, by the way.

Like, Byershawking is definitely better than tack at the power of Juju. But, like, it's so late. And the whole point of Bioshock is that it's a video game. So, like, I don't... Well, there's no fucking way. Like, so... This is what...

This is... They're doing it backwards. The video game is the best way you're ever going to experience it. So... Exactly. It was like back in the day where it made sense, oh, this book was so good, I want to make it into a movie. I get that.

I get wanting to make books into movies where a lot of people are like, oh, I like the books because it's my own personal experience, and I'm thinking of how the characters are and stuff like that. But when they knock it out of the part, they're knocking out of the park. Shockshank Redemption is one of my favorite fucking movies. You know, when they knock it out of the park, it's good. Video games are just like, like, so,

Bioshock, there's in no way, shape, or form. Like, if I would have never seen, let's say, because, you know, Infinite's kind of controversial somewhat, but if, say, Bowshawc Infinite never existed, I would love that as a movie. Like, the concept of it, that would have been awesome. Like, I would have loved that. I do think, so here's the thing.

I feel one of two ways about this. And we don't have to go super in depth with this. Right. Because it's a very fucking dwebish conversation. But do you know anything about Bioshock Lily? Have you, like, seen, like, art of it? Besides the name, I have no clue, honestly. It's really fucking cool.

What is it? It's like, it's, it is, but it's more of like a, it's more of like an RPG. It's like a story type deal. It is a shooter, but it's, it's more about, uh, like this underwater city in like the 1940s and like how this this uh titan of industry went like this Elon Musk egotistical type like went and built his own city and it like fell apart because there were just no fucking regulations and it was like a libertarian dream and it just like fell the fuck apart and it's really fucking cool but like the whole point of that game is is there's a twist

that happens and i honestly like that game's old as hell and i still don't want to spoil it because that it's so good, but there's a twist that revolves around the fact, like, you have to be playing it in order for that twist to make any sense. So, I don't see how they could make the original Bioshock into a movie, but I would love to see a crime, like, almost like a, maybe not Goodfellas, but like almost like a Scorsese-esque mob flick set in that, in Rapture, you know, before everything goes. to shit. I think that would be

dope as hell. Italians underwater. Italians under water. Where they should be. She's just a joke. I'll tell them, I'll tell them. I think you're in his room. Yeah, I'm using a setup.

But I don't know. I think that would be cool because I do think Grafstra is a cool setting. Sure. And it would be cool to see stuff done there. I just, if they're adapting the game, that's a. that's a fucking not good idea it could be like sonic excited for fucking uh it could be like

sonic dude i i did you see sonic lily i did you did you like it like actually like for real like did you did you you know it's like venom uh maybe venom was a little better okay okay fair that's a fair that's a fair It's fun because it's Like I would watch it and I'm not bored You know But it's not a good movie Yeah it's not like you want to watch it again

But you were like Oh yeah that was that was a movie That was all right That was my $12 I guess You know what I saw I saw a boss baby too in theater Why?

No you didn't Because I was with Veronica And like some other friends of ours And we got we took like It was her idea wasn't it Yeah, we took like three or four edibles and then we went to see That sounds so stupid It was really dumb

We laughed the whole time It was like a really funny movie But I don't remember anything about it I guess I can't even talk shit I've never seen Boss Baby so I can't talk shit Maybe it's maybe it's fucking great Like I have no idea you know Isn't Alex Baldwin the baby?

Yeah Alex Baldwin is the baby How many fucking people were killed in that movie? Oh, yeah, how many children were hard? He fucking, he killed somebody in the V-O booth. He's like by himself recording lines and somehow it's like, somebody put a bullet in the gun. It's like, Alex, Alex, you're in the booth by yourself. What are you doing with a Colt 45 or whatever the fuck?

That poor man, dude. Yeah He's fucking like He did a podcast with I think Um I think I can't

I don't want to get it wrong But it's a comedian Recently It might have been this guy Tim Dillon I could be wrong But uh Yeah

I was just like It What Does not Is not any Is there Is not everybody In your life

screaming too soon Like don't You just killed someone A couple of months ago Like That was That was Derek, that was last year.

It's a new year. New year, new year, new me. I guess. I'm starting to believe that he really did just want to taste for blood and he knew. He's like, oh my God, these are the ones that have the real bullets in there. I didn't remember what the fuck.

I didn't remember what the fuck we were talking about, Boss Baby. I don't know how we got the Boss Baby. No, so there's a great scene. Like, I don't remember anything. I was out of my mind. I was so hungry, too. But, like, I was really high watching Boss Bay. We were laughing the whole time.

We got out of the movie. I completely forgot everything, but one thing that stood out was Jeff Goldblum's in it, and he plays like a baby disguised as a man. I don't know. But it's real. But it's the funniest Jeff Goldblum performance I think I've ever heard because he does not care at all. Like there's this one scene where he's being swarmed by, I don't know, I'm just going to assume babies because that's like thematic. But he's being swarmed by just something. and he's supposed to be giving like this dialogue like,

no, no, don't touch that, no, ah! But it's, it's just, he's just like so calm. It's the funniest line I've ever heard in anything. It is so dispassionate. And if you could all, if everybody, everyone look this up, look up like Jeff Goldblum, Boss Baby, too. That's just his voice, though. No, but there's acting.

And then there's like, I don't care. But in the fly, you can't tell me that he was actually like, when he was supposed to be really scared, he was kind of just talking loud. Now, I have to hear that scene because I kind of, I told me, I understand what Lily's saying because, I mean, the last thing that I saw him in was Thor Ragnarok and like no passion whatsoever. Like, oh, get him. No shade. Yeah, no shade because Jeff Goldblum is really good and cool, but. I understand what you're saying.

He has a tone to him for sure, but what I'm saying is, like, it's all the more dis... It's all the more dis... Like, unsettling, when the animators don't understand that that's the vibe that he brings. Because he's animated very...

It's almost like, do you know... You might know exactly what I'm talking about, actually, Derek. Do you know how King Kai's Japanese voice in Japan... All right, right. how he's animated Yeah, he's animated very like Like he's screaming and he's like very emotive But the guy's like

I don't know You must see much Fucking It's like very like nothing It's like that where like You have this hyper like animated character Who's like zigzagging around And like his mouth is like ten times the size of his head

But it's like Ah don't don't touch that Ah ha ha ha That's how he is The fuck No, I know, but it would be fine if it was just him, but it's so jarring. So what do you think? Do you think, like, they expected him to emote the way, like, do this?

This is how it's going to be animated, and he's like, no. I just don't think anybody, I just don't think they had enough courage to tell him how to act. And they animated it already. Yeah, it was already done. I think that's, yeah, yeah. It's like, I guess. It's done. That's what I get out of it.

You can't tell Jeff Gold from that, though. Nobody cared, though. Nobody in that movie gave a shit. Like, Toby McGuire was in Boss Baby 1. Oh, shit, he was? And there's an interview. Yeah, he's the narrator, I think. And, like, you see him giving interviews.

And he's just like, it's Tony McGriamian. It's just him narrating. Like, he does in the beginning of Spider-Man. He's a boss baby. Is this movie like, uh, is it like Rugrats? Is that what this movie's like? Because I don't understand. I guess.

It's like, uh, it's like, it's like, if the Rugrats, like, those movies, you know, I would say it's like more like, right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 1500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500.

Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting

bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan and morgan america's large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit further people dot com for an office near you grandiose and kind of high concept where it's like oh they're fucking going off on an adventure but they're fucking babies and i don't i don't know man like it's it's fucking dumb did you see the blues clues fucking spider-man no way home thing they're doing no what is it what that's not a real movie

promise you it is how I described it is stupid because that's not literally what it is but they're doing this they're doing a blues clues movie where all the three like like uh oh the Asian guy Joe and yeah yeah and they they come together they I think they go to New York City

with blue and then they have to track down the fucking black dolly. Blues fucking venom yeah they have to kill venom it's just blue and magenta is there a new dog or because now or are No, it's just blue. They haven't added another one.

There's magenta, I think. Yeah, I know. She's like the purple one. And then there's, and then there's, and then there's, and then there's, uh, blue. No, no, no, there's a green one. I don't understand. Yeah, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's,

Pricadot. Grinchley? There's a multi-color one. I just got that. He says there's one called Pocad, and he's a thousand percent. A thousand percent. He says there's one called Pocadot and he's multi- colored what the fuck

he's why you're fucking serious that sounds stupid as shit that sounds stupid as stupid I'm not I'll show you no I don't believe he's hallucinating he's hallucinating again

damn it all right hold on I have to go give him his medicine I'll be right I'll be that back yeah no problem see polka dot blues

clues you gotta fuck another pop print you gotta fuck another paw print you gotta It's time for your medicine Put my ass in no book You're hallucinating

She's right there Come on let's go She's visible Take your medicine I don't need any medicine She's real She's Flintstone's vitamins Pocodots

That's for you Photoshop I photoshopped a thousand Goonserty You photoshopped it This is absolute lunacy Look It's polka dots You got to fuck

That's that That's the third dog. Put it in my asshole. You know what to do. I wish people could see this. They're going to be like, oh sweet. You got to take another dick pick. And that's your first clue.

She's a very good. We send it to that kid down the street. You know what to do. Steve draws a dick. Steve news. Steve news. We just got a hooker. We just got a hooker.

Did you guys hear what he said? We just got a hooker, and now we all have AIDS. I'm not going to get back to me. I'm not going to get back to me. I want a blues clues that's set like euphoria. That's like, it's like that. Oh my God. Who killed Zendaya, blue?

It's fucking, it's blue. They have to figure out. They have to find the clues like, how did Zendaya overdose? How did that? I'm not going to get vaccinated. I'm not going to get vaccinated because it's a good kid of my life. Oh my God, he's ruining the audio spectrum now. Look at him.

I told him to take his meds. But I would love blues clues and euphoria. That'd be so good. That show is like such a fucking weird. Like, I don't understand that show really. You don't understand blues clues? That also. No, euphoria.

It's just like, because I'm looking at it. I'm like, this is such a comically troubled group of kids. Like, I can't, this is so remarkably unrelatable. It's astounded. Like, everybody you know, every single fucking person you know is a fucking crack addict. Bro, it's... Like, how is... Yeah.

That definitely happens. I'm sure it does, but I, there's no... I can't even begin. Someone's going to comment like, yeah, it's me. That's me. DeGrasy on steroids, man. That's what it is. Because DeGrasy, I feel like, was a good balance.

No, no one. fucking killed Drake. I mean, well, he got his dick shot or something. Was it really? It was like an in-sell. Like an insal. He got his back shot.

I remember. I saw the scene. It was his back, yeah. I laughed a lot. I laughed a lot. He got shot in the back. The problem is that scene, it's funny and it shouldn't be.

It's like, it's supposed to be a very serious moment. But there's just this fucking in cell that's just been picked on and he takes it on the one guy. He takes it out on the one guy. nice to him. So it's fucking hilarious. He's on a fucking wheelchair.

You shot the guy that was like cool with shoot everybody else but they're just like nah. It's like 13 reasons. I think Drake and then Drzy Drake's dick didn't work in the show like literally. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals.

Well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for 369 a month for 39 months with $4,00099 due at signing. Tax, title, License extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial.

Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I think Drake really missed out on like a golden opportunity to just do his whole musical career after degrassy in a wheelchair. Like that would have been so funny.

You imagine him like wheeling around like hotline bling? Just balancing. You know what you see them in the balancing? Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. That can only mean one thing. And he's like, he's like he falls over and he. I feel like that would be such a fun gimmick for Drake. There has to be a video on the internet like that.

There has to be. Somebody. If someone hasn't done that parody, then like what was his name, Jimmy, his name is Jimmy on the show. So if you put in like Jimmy Hotline Bling and if that doesn't show up, humanity has failed. Forget,

forget, like, us failing at beating the pandemic. That's a travesty. No, uh, Jimmy hotline bling. That upsets me if that's the thing. It is a painful, like, that would be such a waste if it's not real. Like, because there's some really good edits, man. I saw, I saw this one fantastic.

edit on Twitter out of nowhere. Like, I forgot to save it. I wish I did. But it was, like, somebody subbed out Kate Winslet in Titanic for, like, a cat. And it's, it's just Leonardo DiCaprio,

like, hanging out with this fucking cat. And it's so good. Like, I don't mean, it's like, it's not even necessarily that it's funny, right? Because it's not, like, a funny idea, really. It's just like, oh, you... Cool.

But, like, it's edited so incredibly well that you would... You would believe, if you've never seen Titanic, that that was just what the movie was. It's ridiculous. The cat pushes Jack off into the fucking ocean. Nah.

My favorite, my favorite is when they're like, they're doing like the, they're spinning and they're holding each other. And they're doing the camera shot of like them spinning. And it's just this cat like, like fucking screaming. But it's so well done.

Like I look, there's a lot of talented editors out there. And you must put crippled Drake into Hotline Bling. Because that's your calling. That is your calling. shit like that shit like that needs to be done always

sometimes I do wish that I put in the thousands of hours to really perfect stuff like this so I can do it right you're like fuck man retroactively you think of like I should have done this

and you still can but you're just like you know somebody's got to step it up like some of the world's best editors I've ever seen are just making the shittiest YouTube poops hey those Spider-Man poops

are pretty good Dude, every single Bully McGuire video is like a work of fucking art. They're so good. They're so good. The fucking family feud ones, dude. The family feud ones are so, like,

just. It's next level that stuff. It's so fucking dumb how good. The fact that they're so bad makes them so good. It's awesome. You can't get better than that, man. Like, that's the fact that that movie is still

inspiring works like that. Right. Some of them were like really recent. Like, within the last like few months. Dude, the second family feud one had, I don't know what happened to it, but it got re-uploaded just like last month. Like, because it, some happened. So this is, this is that dude spitting them out. And I just, I just love all those people.

I love that. And it really does show, like, it shows the power of, of, uh, Tobin McGuire, the Sam Ramey Spider-Man. And, uh, because no other Spider-Man gets that type of love. Now, like, even Andrew Garfield, and we've had, we've had enough time now where people actually like Andrew Garfield. they like those movies. Right. And we've had enough time where people have had ample, ample time with that footage to do anything with it.

And it's just not nearly as funny. Yeah. It's just his face, I think. Dirt in your eye. His face. Yeah. Tocby and Ryer does have like a very memeable face. Yeah.

And just stuff. And a memeable voice. Like the way that he screams when like, uh, with the, in Spider-Man 2. It's so good. When the walls, when the walls are about to crush him and Mary Jane. Yeah. MJ, yeah, MJ, like, that scream is so, what is that? It's such a.

And the fact that he's like thin, but he has a double chain is insane. It's insane. That is weird how that happens to some thin people. They just, they get the fucking double chin. Yeah. They just get it. I'm like, all right. Then they just have it.

That's just them. It's fucking weird. See a chump. Oh my God. See a chump. gonna cry I'm gonna name my son Chump

So that way when I send him off to school I could be like Hey See you chump You jump really I'd cry I hate you so much dad Daddy I hate you

Why'd you do this to me See you jump You jump away Jump from frame He chumps his way off screen Binky McSinkums wrote and he says Howdy Christian Tony and Dirk Don't know what any of that means

I recently got into an argument with some friends Over who would win in a fight to the death Between various serial mascots of our childhood And wanted to pass the question on to you So who do you all think would ultimately come out victorious And why Personally I envision the Lucky Charms guy Standing on the remains of the other mascot

There's a bitch I'm talking about Yeah he's dead If you don't say Tony the tiger you're wrong It's, how is it not Tony the Tiger? So, so I would, the one thing I would say, there's no way Kathleen Crunch is getting anywhere. He's, he's gonna get, he's practically crippled. He already has fucking scabies and shit.

Like, he's, he's, he's done. He's already like, he's a fucking pervy. He's a scurvy, sorry, scurvy. That's what I was trying to say. He has scurvy and that other, like, fucking fish gonorrhier or whatever it is they fucking get. So he's, he's down for the county. He's not healthy.

Fucking, Tony the Tiger is a tiger. So that is obviously like a. pretty big, pretty big boost. A man tiger, too. Yeah. He's, he's, he's, he's, yeah, we keep going though. Yeah. It's, the thing is, though, there's a lot of serial mascots, man.

I think, I think, I think, I think the one that I might give it to, like, as a wild card, is that fucking, do you guys know who crazy craving is? Crazy Craving is? No, I don't think that counts, man. What the fuck? No, it does. It does. It does. So, crazy craving.

who you might know better as the honeycomb, fur blob thing. That's his name. His name's Crazy Craving. And he is 100% like not of this realm. It's not even like, oh, he's like a tiger with the strength of a man and a tiger. Like he's like a symbiote. Like he makes other people into him.

And it's like, that is strong. So I think what would happen is he wouldn't, it's not that he would win so much as everyone else would become him. Like, he's winning without a doubt. I just, wait. So then how do you win at the end? Because that's all that's left. It's him left. Yeah.

I just feel like, I don't know, man. Have you seen those commercials recently? They're scary, man. No. They're fucking scary. Like, they're not like, oh, how lighthearted and, in, and, you know. whimsical and fun. There's a child skateboarding.

He sees, like, this, this woman has, like, a purse with, like, honeycomb's sticking out of it, and it gets stolen. This is real. And this kid in a skateboard is, like, I'll save the day. And he does a bunch of tricks. He's, like, going down the street. And he's slowly becoming this fucking abomination. And by the end, it's just him.

The kid's gone. Like, there's no more kid. It's, he's gone. I don't believe you. You're smiling. No, but like, I understand I'm smiling Because it's fucking ridiculous what I'm telling you But it's real

Okay, okay Lily You're gonna feel really silly When I show you this evidence After the show If you Google it then maybe I'll believe you But when you say Google it, I don't believe you I'll Google it and show you This is real

I have to thank there's a great content creator That I've worked with in the past His name's Brent Daniel Got a fantastic voice He did a video on it a long time ago It's the only reason why this is so vivid in my head. But, like, that thing is definitely winning. Like, Tony the Tiger, I could see, like, against everybody else.

Because there's the, like, what, the fucking rice snack crackle and pop and the fucking, the fucking honeynut Cheerios B are going to handle a fucking tiger? He gave it to the orangutangong thing. I think of, I was thinking of Count Chocula. He's a vampire. Oh, yeah. They have super strength. all this shit, you know, they're pretty...

Yeah, but they're notoriously killable, you know, like... But, like, is he... Has Count Chocchio? Because what if he's the kind that could go out? And, like, those rules... It's all myths. Like, you know, he's like, that's all... No way, no way. And shit.

Like, he lives off a fucking cereal, so, you know what I mean? So... I guess so... But, like, he's also, like, so clearly a traditional vampire, you know? Like, I don't know if he's, like, doing that to... I don't know if he's, like, doing that to... save face for his family or what but save face

for what? That is Dracula? Like, yeah, yeah, he's embarrassed that he's actually, no, like maybe he's like just not into it.

Like maybe he doesn't want to be a fucking vampire, but like he's just kind of, I don't know, he's been bullied into it by his family. Isn't Dracula like such a fucking ladies man? Yeah. Doesn't he just kill a woman? King shit, dude.

No, he's, he's, king shit. He fucks. Yeah, he fucks him. Before he kills him? Yeah, probably.

Dope. Yeah, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you? Yeah, I don't know. It would be, I would like to see, like, a smash bros serial edition. I would like to see that. That would be awesome. That would be, like a Kellogg's, all-star battle real or whatever.

That would be fucking sick. Get the tricks rabbi in there. Did Reese of Puffs have any? Aneedly eviscerated? Reeses Puffs has a little black boy. He's going like, he's going like Rees Puffs, Reesst Puffs, and he's doing that rap. Oh, yeah. That's right. He might win. He might win.

He might, just a little black boy against the Tiger Man and a fucking sentient B. Kind of put my money on him. What is the racist? Because I feel like, okay, hold on, I'm going to Google serial mascots. I'm actually kind of, I feel like, I feel like I'm remembering all of them, but at the same time, I feel like there must be more than I. I'm remembering. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM-500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for 369 a month for 39 months,

with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877-RAM 5-22 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. There's the tricks funny and Yeah but he sucks He's always getting outsmarted by children Literally fucking kid Yeah he could like if you can't be a child Like what the fuck get the fuck out of here

Oh two can Sam I forgot about two can't Sam Oh yeah Razor Sharp beak Razor Sharp beat and also gun His trademark gun Yeah his gun his His fruity gun Yeah there's the cookie crisp wolf

Which Oh he could have a Does Fred, do the Flintstones count for Frutty Pebbles? Yeah. I think so, yeah. That is astounding, but I, when you said that, like, this, this really macro idea of the Flintstones being known for primarily for cereal. Really, like, haunted every fiber of my being for a second. Because that's probably real.

Oh. You know, like, there's no way a fucking, there's no way a seven-year-old knows what the fucking flintzstan. is true no way yeah there's like cereal than vitamins does it the fucking they know what fruity pebbles are rice crispy elves they might win oh yeah snap crackle pop yeah they're done

yeah you smash them easily yeah that's even even the even the bee could handle those there's that golden grams bear right oh I hate him isn't he like stupid golden grams bear I hate that fucking wrong with him there's something wrong with him in it

yeah he looks disgusting Like everything about, there's also like a Nesquick cereal where the Nesquick Bunny is, is, uh, oh, you ever see that, you ever see that, you ever see that commercial where like, uh, he throws the in in the fucking pool and then it starts turning all brown. Like it throws the letter in. You know why? It's so fucking good. Because Nesquick is fucking Mexican.

Yeah, it is. What? Yeah. Yeah. They make it in Mexico. No, what? Yeah, no, I'm fucking serious. That's like when I found out Arizona.

I see was made in New York. Seriously? What kind of bullshit is that? I've noticed that all iced tea is pretty much made in New York, which is like kind of interesting. They make it so much that, like, when someone says Nesquick, like, you don't have to say anything else. They'll know what it is.

Like, if they don't speak an ounce of English, they know Nesquick. Next, Nesquick, Mexican. I remember at one point my Oh it's Nisqueak Yeah Nisqueak Put it in their fucking smoothies all the time Hey-oh

Oh my God I remember at one point my mom Switched from Nesquick to To Ovalteen I was so fucking upset That is so sad That's when your life ends Yeah

Because that was like this is like old people shit It was It just was not the same. It pissed me off so much. What is, is there like a moment from your childhood where something consistent like that changed and it's like a very menial thing, but it was like something that genuinely was like, this is so earth-shattering to me because I'm a child and have no understanding of like how the real world is actually 10 million times more earth-shattering than this.

But it's affecting me right now. Clearly that was yours. That was, I think what bothered me more was, uh, she stopped buying white bread and started using a wheat. And if you're a kid, wheat bread is the fucking worst thing on earth. Yeah, yeah. It tastes like, I don't know, fucking cardboard. Yeah, it tastes like it's trying to pretend. Like, it's like the most pretendy flavor of anything.

Because it's just like, I'm bread, but like, I'm healthy. Don't worry. I'm surprised you guys. My mom was on some bullshit. Yeah. I'm surprised that you guys didn't say money. because what the fuck? Like when you're a kid

you think $1,000 is everything and that shit's nothing. Oh no, yeah, true. I've definitely like spent money like when I was a kid. I had bought something like I think it was like $30 or something and then I hated it

and I was like I can't believe like I just wasted four years of my life saving up for this fucking thing. But I, but no, no for me like it's usually food stuff. Like I think when tricks became puffs like when

they got rid of the fruit shapes. Oh, okay. That was fucking insane. That was an emotionally devastating time. That and also when Burger King got rid of the chicken fries. I remember being so genuine. They have them again. But they were gone.

They were gone for like a solid like four or five years. And they came back. I remember they came back in like 2013, 2014 because I made a video about them coming back. And I just remember like I. Like I went to Burger King. I was like, I was so excited because when you're a kid, you're just excited to go to fast food places for some reason. And I just walked in there. I was like, yeah, I clicked my heels, like a fucking little rascal.

And I clicked my heels. I was like, yay, chicken fries. And I got to the fucking front desk and I was like, oh, we don't do that anymore. And I remember just my heart fucking sank into my fucking testicles, man. Like, I was so sad. Because you've clicked your heels. Heart balls. And I thought like, oh, maybe they'll be back in a way.

week. I thought maybe they ran out. But they were gone for five years or something, like some insane amount of time. And that was like, I've been, I've been fucked up stuff like that a lot. Actually, there was a, there was a chili cheese burrito at Taco Bell. That was my favorite thing I would always get. Taco Bell is always doing that shit. Do they fucking, they're, they're a piece of shit with that. And you know what they did?

So they, one year, one fucking year, this was like 2013, they brought back the chili cheese burrito for a very small window. And I was like, holy shit, my childhood. And then I tagged Taco Bell. And then the official Taco Bell liked my Instagram post. I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, this is, this is perfect. And then they took it away a month later. And then they never brought it back again.

That was just one thing. Like, I would rather what they would have never bought it back. Yeah. Fucking, they had a grilled stuff burrito. That used to be the shit. Yeah. And then, and then thank goodness they're coming to their senses. Second quarter of the year, the Mexican pizza is coming back.

Let's go. Nice. Let's fucking go. I've never had that. The Mexican pizza is the best thing there. It's basically a taco, but they just fucking, like a to stodas. They got like two tostadas. Yeah.

You slap in between beans and meat and beans. They put the cheese on top of it, some fucking pizza sauce, which is, it's like a Mexican fucking pizza sauce, whatever. Then a little bit of cheese, tomatoes, if you're into that shit. And it's, they cut it into, like, it looks like a little pizza slice, you know, little pizzas. Did you guys? It's just, sorry. It's so good.

Did you guys ever have, um, a fucking pizza hut and a fucking Taco Bell together? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Manhattan, there was, I think, around Union Square, uh, or it was, I know it was around the new school, uh, Parsons, where, we're, we're, guys. was going. There was, I believe, a pizza hut. I think it might have been a pizza hut in Taco Bell,

but I remember it as a KFC for some reason. But there were those, like, joint restaurants where it was like, where you could get both. And it was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, I've seen those on a handful of occasions. Those things are fucking great. Like, I remember I got super sick in a pizza hunt once, though. Like, really, really, like, violently ill.

Like, I was sitting down to eat at a pizza hut. I was like 10 and like I my stomach was killing me so much and I like I laid down under the table because I couldn't sit without feeling like I was going to die. Damn. That was a fun little memory. Damn. Some dude fucking came in your pizza. Yeah, probably. That's exactly what happened.

But, uh, fucking. Oh, and I would also be like remiss not to say this when Snapple got rid of glass. That was recently. That still, that still fucking bothers me. I don't fucking understand it. Uh, let's see, let's see, let's see That was literally the only reason I got Snapple. Yeah, literally.

Yeah, it's... Same thing with fucking Arizona. When they're not in the can, it's not the same. It's fucking... Oh, the fucking... Arizona and the plastic bottles... Are disgusting. ...is so fucking gross.

It's a fucking sin. It is astounding. It's so weird, too, because, like, the big canisters in the... I guess it's, like, a different kind of plastic or something, but, like, those are fine to me. like the big gallon jugs that's made out of like a much sturdier plastic and I presume like just like a plastic

that doesn't that doesn't deteriorate as easy but in those like bottles where it's like want to they just like they want to be a bottled drink for some reason it's the worst I'd rather have brisk you know than fucking have Arizona out of a bottle yeah

damn I want to Arizona right now actually the mango ones Yeah. I'm a basic, bitch. I like the lemon. I like lemon and everything. Lemon. And it's like the least common flavor,

which is astounding, because on the East Coast it's like the default. Over here, it's like peach. It's very weird. Like for Snapple specifically, but like Arizona, it's always like, I think like watermelon. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Watermelon? Oh, I guess. Yeah. I feel like I see watermelon or green tea more often than anything else. Yeah, there's a lot of green teas. Yeah. I like the fruit punch if they have it. They don't have it a lot.

And then they started fucking with that Arnold Palmer shit. They started like... Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. It's trying too hard. But... What else we get?

Let's see. Let's see. Well, we'll go... I'm trying to find, like, a question. I'm, like, going... I'm not even going through the document. Sweeney, he... So, we usually have a document that's, like, kind of organized.

And what I do is, I, uh, I, uh, get all of your questions from the Patreon feed, I put them in the document, I format it in a legible way, I highlight key points in the questions so that I can like kind of scroll through them and pick things about specific topics.

I've recently delegated that duty to sweetie who just mass copy pastes and doesn't change anything, so there's like a bunch of shit underlined that I'm like, what the fuck? Interesting. Yeah. So I'm just going off of the basic

I'm going off of the Patreon feed. Don't worry about him. He'll figure it out. It's because he didn't take his medicine. I've been telling him ever since I found him jerking off into his own face like keeled over on the street drawing homophobic slurs into the pavement.

Right. You got to take your medicine. That was the one rule. Fuck we're doing. All right. What is this? Is this? How's it going?

I have an inquiry for you. Who is a villain? Who is a villain that you would work for with the least amount of hesitation? Ghost Raid wrote that one. What villain would I work for? Yeah, like what villain would you find most agreeable to work for?

Master Splinter? Yeah? What the fucking? Sorry. No, no way. I like that because there's a big implicatory. there because he just took these

mutant turtles and like basically like He made him his fucking slaves man Yeah he totally did He is a villain Master Splinter's a devious fucking rat He's a rat bastard He's a fucking literal rat

Like what do you expect From a fucking rat A scavenger A fucking creature of A creature of What is it? A creature of excess What a disgusting animal

Yeah, I would say That's a good answer Funny thing is he didn't He didn't have to live in a sewer Like Like Yeah, he didn't Like as soon as he was like

Completely sentient And started growing and shit He's like all right This is gross Like I'll just live in a abandoned warehouse Like why am I in the fucking sewer But Isn't he like

The height of a Like I Because when I was a kid I'll be real Like I don't know much about Ninja Turtles But when I was a kid I assume

That Splinter for some reason was like the size of a mouse. No. I don't know why I thought that. I don't know why I thought that. He looks like he's probably like four foot or something. He looks like he's probably like four feet or some shit. Which would freak me to fuck out.

Okay, but then there's Jimmy Neutron that's fucking six feet, so I don't know anymore. That's true. Jimmy Neutron is six feet tall and Cayu is 11 foot six. So there's a lot of, uh, there's a lot of debate about that. A bald baby, dude. That bald fucking bit. You know why he's bald? He has cancer, right?

No, they just drew him that way. I don't know why you assume there was like some crazy. No, there's no way. He has fucking cancer. He doesn't have fucking cancer. You think they made that Canadian television? Canadians don't even have to worry about cancer with all their free health care. Cancer just doesn't happen in Canada.

It doesn't. It's a vacation for them. They're like, ah, got the cancer. You know, I guess I'm off on. Yeah, and they get to sit in those cool chairs and get really cool. Vin Diesel haircuts. And all of a sudden they started talking about family. Yeah.

Family. Not family, don't you know. He's at the doctor's office and he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, he's getting, like, have you been eating? It's like, what do you, what's your diet, I've been like? It's like, I've been out of diet of family. Family. It's like, that's very cool. That's very cool, but that's, like, we really need to.

hammering on like what's going on so I'm going to need your you need your cooperation here like what have you been eating? Family. I would love to see like Vin Diesel like try to function in in society after suffering some crazy fast and furious brain damage and only being able to talk about family. I don't fucking understand like the love people have for those movies and I'm I'm Hispanic so I don't I don't fucking get it. I don't understand.

either, man. Like, I have never liked the fast movies. I just, I feel like... Here's the thing, man. So, the original ones, I thought were so fucking boring, because I don't care about cars. I just don't. Like, personally, I don't give a shit about cars. Um, like I consider a nice car of me

is when I used to have a 2000, sell like a GT. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for 369 a month, for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer

contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You know, which wasn't that much, and I love that car and I want to get it again. And that's it. But anyway, when The Rock joined the cast, it turned into the action movies that died out in the early 90s. And you're totally right, yeah

And that's why I personally love them And one thing why I love them is by this point They completely are self-aware of what they are So much so That they did meta jokes in the 9-1 Of like how we it's impossible for us to die Like we never even get even remotely hurt And then because people were fucking around saying

Dude, they can't go anywhere but space And then they literally went to fucking space Yeah, I remember our friend Joe said that years ago, like a long time ago, and then it happened. Yeah. He literally cracked. They're like, dude, we can't, like, we got to, we just play into it. We know this is so stupid, and that's why I enjoy it. So now it's getting to a point where there's people that are hating on how stupid it is.

And I'm saying, you need to appreciate for what it is. And some people have the problem with that, too, with Cobra Kai. They're watching Cobra Kai and they're like, this shit is so fucking cheesy. And I'm like, that's the point. It's this universe is not fucking real. Karate in high school fights karate fights in high school like you're, are you, why are you trying to take this seriously? So Fast and Fier's franchise five through nine is literally, it's like watching last action

hero. It's like watching just these dumb fucking action films and shut your brain off and watch dumb shit happen. And then I promise you you'll enjoy them. Like don't think about coming back to anything. Those films are coming back too because you got uncharted. Uncharted fucking expendable's four is coming out. Oh my God.

Like, this is, see, I grew up in the 90s. I like these terrible action films. I love them. Mortal Kombat, 1995 Mortal Kombat, it's one of my favorite movies. Not like it's the best movie ever made. I mean, as far as entertainment value, I love that movie and know every fucking line from that movie. And the choreography is actually not bad for 95. Yeah.

That's the only thing you can really take from it. The choreography is actually pretty good for 95. Other than that, the movie is fucking stupid as shit. The movie's so got to. damn stupid. But I love it. I love it so much. But they like try to make Fast and Furious fucking serious. That's the issue. There's there's now I think once once Paul Walker died, I think they just stopped. Carrey. Like they they gave him his yeah they once because seven was kind of serious even though the action was completely over the top and retarded. But like the feeling and

and there still have some plots that are like oh this is serious. My baby was kidnapped or whatever. fuck or oh now john cina's my brother and they've never mentioned them in all of the movies all of the movies that ever existed they've never mentioned that you had a brother so stupid but that's why i like it i like it is insane they don't need to excuse anything they just do stuff and i feel like people need to appreciate just that like the drama in it too is just all funny like my girl was laughing at me because of how hard i was laughing when i was watching fast fierce nine the theater Like I think she was also kind of like maybe like hey like maybe You wanna tone it down a little bit

It was fucking it was funny as shit It's it's a fucking action comedy I still can't get over the fact that Paul Walker died it At like high speed The way that he died The fact that I don't know there's something like really like fucking wild But

We are at We are about at our time So that was that was That was our little 100 episode celebration. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you,

Lily for participating in this. You'll get a healthy year. Come in. Say bye. He's been there the whole time. He's been the whole time not participating. Say bye.

We're definitely, uh, I'm fucking out of here, right, Lily. I'm sick of the shit. He's paying extra money. I'm sick of everything. To really, you know, just because he's not even working, so he's getting penalized by paying more money.

I don't fucking feel safe. I don't feel safe right now. That's fair. I can't blame you for that. Anyway, we got to read the end. If you liked what you heard today, consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access to every episode.

Sweeney's ruining the audio again, as he always does. $1 a month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes. $5 gets you a question around on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment in you're in for good. And $25 gets your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which I will now do.

Lily, you got to count me down into this. From three? Three, two, one. From three, yeah. Three, two, one. Polish Drake says, Kiki, do you love me? Are you hungry?

I just made some parogis. Tevin de Black. The guy who met Keith David dressed as a plague doctor at Creepycon, Sweeney's seemingly small peen. Twitter is fuming over Snartank's woke comments and gets embarrassed over social media. It looks like a quartering. title is that thing is.

Fred. Yeah, it's like Twitter is fuming over snark tanks, woke comments and gets embarrassed all over social media. I love it.

Fred Figglehorn consuming the unborn, Daddy Rattie is here to impale mages and fun discrimination against fantasy minorities, and he's all out of money. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dickolodian.

No, it's good. At last, so stupid. At last, Wait, what the fuck? And last, but not... What the fuck is this? I'm dyslexic, this is already hard. Read it.

And last, but no, and last, but not least, the king of haphazard. Jesus, you tried... You tried to... If that was grammatically correct, you could have fucked me. Sam, I shot JFK Ramey, uh, back alley end pass dealer. Kauai in the streets, Subirashi in the sheets. Uh, gonna cha-cha real smooth.

off a fucking cliff Have fun Naniels Nenni by Nenor I don't know man That's literally like a I don't know Nanyi

Kumeha meha Bourdberg Oh Kamehameha Nice Bordburger St. Maxi Can you please get my friend Brandon to pay his taxes

He's literally evading them This is not a joke help Rusty Caj is a poxie rat Talos Valcaran Apothecary first flaw 10th company 8th Legion, Alstawall. Okay, you may have said it right. You piece of shit. Chris,

I don't know what the hell you're talking about. My question is in the thread, what the fuck? Avi, Chris, please upload more music. I'm begging at this point. I became a patron and spent $25 not to be able to come up with a clever name. Duncan, Master of All Things Cute and Funny. Wage slave 583, imaginary girlfriend gang. Let's go. Let's go.

Sweeney. Where's the brandy? Save the N-word. Save the N-word. That's it. That's it. Lily. You could say it. You're around, friend. You're talking a lot of big game for someone with such a small truck. Oh my God. Dead inside. Arcane Furukawa. Shrinkus Finkel dunk, the warlock who is using transversive steps. And $25 gets you a fanboy BFF who's definitely not joking about sucking your dick on like your bros. Best befriended Tom a fanboy today. I challenge the other

Connor King to a fight to the death. My name is Lily, Nicker. Oh my God. I'm Lily, I can't believe you said that, Lily. Lily. Someone's going to fucking edit that. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I challenge other king to a Connor King to a fight to the death or criminal one.

Sweeney, it's okay. My girlfriend isn't real either. I have PPSD. Chris Reagan, more like Chris racism. Riber 525 of the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation racist snake. I sexually harassed the HR department

and now they don't know who to report to. Thank you for making 100 episodes of my favorite podcast. Love you guys. Let's go. Tell him Steve Dave, Antifist Maximus, the host of Mussolini's Piazza Party. When magical little conservative gnomes

needs somewhere to sit. they cast bench a hero stupid god is so dumb it's so fucking unfathomably dumb god is dead because Travis Scott killed him John Strickland big boo Sniggins Merck's 1889 Downey McFrowney NFT of Sweeney's imaginary girlfriend

Post op trans A.k.a CBT to the nth degree the first church of Keith David made the smooth dulcet tones of his voice guide you to the new year Goops McKenzie New Haven pizza is superior to New York pizza objectively Anyone who disagrees it has the downs I don't even know where New Haven is

Jersey Drunk Dulhan Oh, okay Pree-Raz Drunken Doolahan Breaking Benjamin Shapiro Breaking Benjamin Shapiro Come man the man Oh my god

You imagine diary of Jane but Benchapiro Performed to Ben Shapiro's voice Something's getting the way I'm just about to break or whatever No I am trying to find the place of the diary of Jane. Okay.

What the fuck? Okay. So tell me. Hypothetically speaking, what if you were in my diary? And what if my diary was Jane's? Come man, the man have come. Wheeler's day off. Blake 896.

Mario spreading his asshole live on Twitch while also watching MasterChip. What is he doing? What is he screaming? Fucking pictures of Ben Shapiro's sister. Is it a picture of his asshole? What is he doing? Tell him to show you silently. Mario spreading his asshole live on Twitch

While also watching Master Chef, The Epic Ashwad fucking kill me. Hey boss. Hey boss. I'm not going to read the rest of this because it's so unfathomably unreadable. Ryan Luchesse, I must report to the tomboy minds.

The L's, the L's keep taking them for themselves and they leave none for the rest of a sloshy scout. Atrosone, I got pussy on my mouth, pussy in my face, depending on the nationality. I get a different taste. Ryu is Hokie, Antifa Sarkisian, Lord of Autism,

high priest of the church of Asian fucking Keith David from Cloud Atlas, whatever. Tomboy's are the superior race, hard-hat skydiver. There's a lot of tomboy support in the fucking... Yeah, yeah. I mean, good. Nice. I'm all for it. She was a tomboy.

I think exclusively, like, when I was in school, I had crushes on tomboy's until, like, junior high, I think. Like, I think it was, like, every single one was, like... There was one girl who wore, like, a backwards cap, And I thought it was just like, this is the coolest fucking woman on the face of you. I mean, I get it. I'm pretty simple. Just fucking chucks and jeans. And I'm like, what's good?

Yeah. Well, I think when you're that young, you're just like, you're like my friend, but I like you more for some reason. You know, I think it's that. It's just like, you're just a friend of mine. But, uh, I'm also a mammal. Hard hat skydiver, Pittsburgh bagel. Alaskin oil fuel trash. Marcus Shorten, Vladdy put it in spanking, Ukrainian.

octogenarians. Game Control of 25. Nicky Zicky! Murder ascended. Tactical Jordan Peterson says, Clean your room or else. Lobotomized Jesus and his merry band of figurenagets.

Nice. One meter long fetus. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis, parentheses I masturbate while driving. Homoosa is spicy mushroom. Hiroshima is spicy mushroom. Dummy thick Dave. I give it a 9.5 at 10.

That's pretty nice cock. Sweenies clown pussy goes on. I, Chris, Maldano speaking, I'll be having Kingston. Sweenies confirm. He owns a fur suit. Yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy.

Jackson Apsage. Bradley Brave, Huggard Derek, the movie theater manager, Aetherian, Chris Gate, My Magyring Hunting Ass, All Hands on Dick. I will continue my hatred against the Rangers. Just try and stop me with your hunters mark, signed a hexblade warlock supremacist, Richter 86, and rounding out the list. As always, is fucking, you know, the king of... He didn't change his name? No, he didn't. So, you know, he could... Uh-oh.

You know, a little concerning, a little concerning King of haphazard. We did ask you to change your name to let us know that you were alive and well. You did not. I am concerned for you. uh just even just add like a fucking exclamation point even we'll take anything you don't got to change the whole thing but i want to know you're all right man yeah but thank you for your support since the start nonetheless though thank you guys for your support on 100 episodes of this nonsense uh thank you for uh to lily for subbing into kinksin who just didn't want to work today uh he he said he said uh thank thank thank you for coming for coming through the snart tank podcast

Uh, uh, uh, remember, remember wash your ass and, um, and if you suck and dick get payment for it. Bye. 100, baby, woo. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for three 69 a month for 39 months with 4,09 due at signing.

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