The Snark Tank - #102: Elden Ring is AMAZING

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Sweeney is fighting Putin, Elden Ring is cool, Kanye vs Pete Davidson and Ugly Spider-Man! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, look, he's a little dead mean. Hey, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Snark Tank podcast, episode 102. Derek is back from war. He fought off the Russians.

And I got my crazy pills from my shell shock. Yeah, yeah. I got all my PTSD pills. Yeah, man, you're going to need him, you know, around all those disillusioned Russians who just don't want to be there. It is such a, it is such a crazy, it's a really sad situation, but also it's like a crazy situation because every time I see videos of Russian soldiers, it's just like, they're just like, man, I don't even want to be doing this. They're not fighting for anything. They told us to come here And Russia has like a conscripted

Military where they just have to be there So it just sucks for everyone involved But they're literally doing this for like one guy Literally one guy This has nothing to do with nationalism or anything That gets them pumped up You know things that got us pumped up To be in the Middle East and blast brown people

It's like they've got to be over here Because they're gonna come over here You know and they're like yes Yes sir You know, like they're all pumped up and shit and ready to just like, you know, just spray loads of brown people. Like, just, we got to do it.

And this is totally different. Yeah. Totally different. And sucks. Yeah, it really, it's, it's a really bad situation. We talked a little bit about it last time. You weren't here. But, uh, because, uh, you swap places with Sweeney.

Now Sweeney's in Russia fighting. Yeah, he had to go. He had to go now. Yeah. He, uh, apparently, uh, They had a big problem with, like Putin had an announcement about Miles Morales and how it's just an abomination. And Miles Morales is not Spider-Man. Yeah.

And that was the final straw for Swin. He says, who is little black boy slipping from rope in City Street? Not my Spider-Man. And Sweeney was like, no, that's it. I'm going to throw hands now. So Sweeney's gone. He'll be back. I'm sure he'll be back next year.

if he Yeah, if he doesn't end up like... Next week, if he doesn't end up killed in action. But... Or in a P.O.W. fucking with, with McCain arms.

You know, where he can't... Oh, my God. His hands are too fucked up, but he can't play games anymore. How quickly do you think Sweeney would crack under the pressure of a P.O. I feel like it really...

I feel like really swiftly. I think as soon as they shut the door, he'd be like, I'll tell you anything you want. please, please God, don't do anything to me. And then unfortunately, they'll still torture him because he doesn't have any information. Yeah, they don't think he's lying.

He's like, no, I don't. His fingers are all gone. I told you, I can't, how am I supposed to play D&D with no fingers? You fucked me. Oh, my God. Oh, that would be so fucking great. Poor fingerless, W. Sweeney, poor guy.

Just fucking, he just looks like Patrick Star just sounds fucking this stumps. Oh my God. That'd be pretty cool though. Then he has an eye patch for some reason. Yeah, that would be an interesting arc for him to go on. I think I've been telling him to get a new arc for a while because he's just been to the comic book dweeb for a really, really long time. And I keep telling him, you've got to find some way to get some, put some edge on your

name. You know, like make a music video where you. threatened to bury Pete Davidson alive and walk around with his disembodied head. I was watching, so if, if you guys are unfamiliar with this, Kanye West and fucking Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, they're all in this fucking weird, irritatingly ubiquitous feud that I can't seem, everything I've learned about this has been against my will. Like I've never, I've never been, I have not seeked out any of this information. It just, finds its way in front of me.

And so your punishment is that it's in front of you here, too. And I'm going to act as the thing that I hate and put this in front of you. But you saw the video, right, that he did? I saw clips of it. I saw clips of it. I saw the main parts, the parts that are important. Yeah. It's a fucking disturbing video, honestly.

It's like a little off-putting. It's not the most offensive thing I've ever seen. Right. But the context of it is very bizarre. I just don't understand why you as like a borderline billionaire, you know, you have so much money. I don't think Kanye's a billionaire exactly, but he's pretty, I mean, he's fucking loaded. He might be.

He may be. I don't know. Does he own title or is that Jay-Z? Who owns title? I mean, there's no way that's worth a billion, but. I mean, he's got, you know, I mean, he's got his good music thing, which is, I think, his title. I think Who owns title? I don't fucking know.

I don't know, man. I'm guilely. I don't know. Yeah. I bet Sweeney would be losing his mind about just facts like this. Oh yeah. Because I know he... So it's, I was right. It's Jayzie. Oh yeah. Okay. Right, right. Right. Yeah. But you know. I think because of his clothing and all that shit, though, he's probably

has like a billion. That's probably true. But he's a loaded guy. Is the point that I'm making. And if I don't know how you can be so famous and so rich and then constantly put out content that makes that makes you look like a I mean quite frankly like a bit of a cuck honestly

you know just to be so upset still that like your ex is with another person you know like it just seems a little fucking bizarre that you would want to paint yourself as a really jealous individual like on purpose

it's strange do you think do you think that this has anything to do with the fact that it's Pete Davidson? You know, like, it's because, I mean, even a part of me would be a little upset if, like, I split with my chick and then she got out with Pete Davidson. I'd be like, that guy? Like, I know he's fucking famous and shit. And then all these girls just say, oh, he has a big dick. I'm like, okay, you guys sound really fucking shallow now.

But what else? What other character is they have? because I've given him a shot. I watched a clip of this stand-up to see, oh, let me see if this guy's any good. It was very just, I'm a fucking trashy white guy from Stad Island. I have black friends.

It was not good. I didn't like it at all. Yeah, I just don't think he's funny. I've seen a couple of things that I think are funny, but it's not particularly consistent. Out of so much shit that he's done, you're going to get some things that are, right? Like, out of so much stuff he's done,

there's going to make some stuff that's going to make you chuckle. but if I pull up, it's like when I watched Naruto, I think it was Naruto, yeah, and I pulled up the, it was like the best clip or whatever, and I was completely unimpressed, I'm like, okay, nope, I'm good. I'm good on this shit, dude.

Like, if you're, if the thing that has the most views pops up and it doesn't like, do anything for me, then I, I can just say that you fucking, you're, you're, no thanks, man. I don't know, I don't want to have to search for your gyms. Do you think it, do you think it has something to do with the fact that on SNL, like, a long time ago, like he made fun of Kanye a little bit where he was like, hey, where he went like, it was like, it was that bit

about like, you know, oh, he's off the meds. And he, and he, and he went like, take him. It's fine. And he, that was a pretty good bit to be honest, because he was like, if I went on a plane and the pilot was like, I just want you all to know, this is the real me flying. That was a decent bit. But like, that was a while ago. You know, that was like two years ago. I feel like that was pre-pandemic almost. Although at this point, I don't even know how long to fucking... I feel like that's been going... I feel like this whole thing's been going on for fucking five years.

But... I don't know. Just... I feel like it makes you... The issue is like, even if it was... If the reason is because it's Pete Davidson and you can't comprehend how someone could possibly... It's almost worse

that you're portraying yourself this way if that is the case. Because then it's like... If you really think... felt that way about Pete Davidson and you were like, oh, what a gross guy. Then you'd be like, oh, wow, that's a major downgrade. Way to go. You know?

You almost wouldn't even say anything. But the fact that he's like, you, man, fucking this guy. Oh, oh, I'm going to write a fucking music video where I do the fucking, uh, what's that, what's that fucking person's name? The comedian lady that held the Trump's disembodied head up, like in 2016. Oh, uh, she looks like Andy Dick. Yeah, fucking, oh my God. I can't remember her name either right now.

How the fuck? Why is that, why is that such a blame? Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin, yeah. We're going to make a Kathy Griffin-ass video about fucking, about Pete Davidson and constantly tweet about him. It's just bizarre, man. I don't know.

Like, I can't imagine being that famous and doing that to my own image. You know, it's just bizarre. Did you see that chick that he was briefly dating Kanye after to, you know, obviously to get back at Kim because he has no interest in her. She was a model. I don't know her name. But she became famous, even more famous than she already is, because she was talking about the director of the movie Uncut Gems for some reason on a podcast.

Oh, yeah. And it went insanely viral because the way she said Uncut Gems. Did you see that clip? Yeah, it's like Uncut Jams. Yeah, and the most Valley Girl fucking like, It just makes you want to like, I want to hit people so hard that talk like that, that have that upspeak vocal fry shit. I'm cut jobs.

I'm like, how do you get there? How did this become like a language? How did this become a part of the English language, you know? And it spreads because I knew somebody that lived in close to Dallas, Texas, that talk like that, born and raised in Texas. And I was like, I, how? How did you start talking like this? How did you develop this shit?

It's like fucking nerds, right? You know, there's a lot of nerds that they have this nasally fucking, uh, and then they talk, uh, uh, you know, the Reddit people. You know how, like, how nerds are portrayed? What the fuck you're talking about? There's a, there's a nerd accent. Wait, do it for me. Do it, do an impression. So, uh, so the guy's name is Simon or Melvin.

And then he is nasally and he's like, ah, I talk like this. Like, it's like anytime, like, they're like portraying. on like television or some shit. Like, and then you're dark. Kind of. It's kind of like that, but not as high. Actually, now that I think about it, I think you really should put that gun down.

There's like a thing that. No one did anything. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing. in careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion.

Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I've been around enough nerds and, like, comic shops and stuff that there are people that speak like that. And it fucking, it, I don't understand. I was like, how did this happen?

It's like it becomes a language within a community of people. They, like, take on that identity. Like the vocal fry and the upspeak. Yeah. These are people, like, because I'm like, well, this isn't a language. This isn't, this isn't like a dialect from a specific region, you know? It's people all spread around will start speaking like this. Yeah. It's weird.

The valley girl accent isn't even really all that common in girls from the valley. Right. Like I've never really, I've heard maybe two people with that accent in my entire life. And I think both times it wasn't in California. It was at like PACs or something and like just random people. It was like, oh, that's weird. It's interesting. I haven't heard this actually for real.

Yeah, the reason, like, I think the reason why, because it was, we, none of us, I never talked to those people in the, like, Valley people that I talked to were fucking, like, Mexican Valley. They're like all A1A homes and fool and shit and, like, they're all in the guns and shit. But then there's, like, the Valley. that like nobody went to no one i don't go to fucking calabasasas and then seno and all this shit and talk to all these rich ass fucking white people i don't i never spoke to them so how would i even encounter these people i'm trying to be a sound cloud artist man but ain't nobody wants to listen to

my shit no more man yeah fucking i know quite a few people from the valley that are just like that yeah that's exactly have you seen have you seen smiling friends yet i've seen i haven't watched uh at all in its entirety, just dub. There's a clip of a guy that sounds exactly like that, and it's funny. It is one of the most perfect impressions of just some random streetman in L.A. And it is the most

satisfied. If anybody's listening to this, look up DJ Spit, smiling friends, and it's the fucking it's one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen. But yeah, I don't know. These accents pop out of nowhere. Almost like they're just invented, and then because they're in

media that's popular, people grow up with it and they like assume that that's how to speak. And then it becomes real. It's almost like being manifested by like fake shit. Because it's not, those aren't real accents. Like I've been around a lot of nerds and I don't think, I don't know

anybody who's ever, whoever sounded like, excuse me, I got a fucking, I got a T83 calculator in my backpack. Like the fuck, who are you? There's like a, like there's, it's, it's It's, you have to, it's still, I guess it's those people that just, like, like you said, they, they see an example of something and then they just latch, latch onto it. Because, yeah, most people, like the nerdiest people I do know that, you know, work at a

comic shop and everything, they're normal people. However, some of their recurring customers are the fucking weirdest people I've ever seen. There's a guy that would come in there and play D&D and Warhammer and shit. he was wearing Did you ever see the movie Unleashed with Jet Lee? I don't know if you've ever seen that But it's just basically

A long time ago, like once He's wearing, he's all fucking like He's like a He's like a savage This guy trained him to basically be like a dog Right? And he keeps a collar on him And then he has to take off the collar

Whenever he takes off the collar It's time to fuck people up It's a stupid premise of movie Because it's like why don't people have guns And just shoot him But you know he just does his fucking martial arts And fucks everybody up If it's a, as a martial arts flick, it's a fun-ass movie.

Stupid as hell is a concept. However, there's a guy and that comic shop wearing a fucking collar, like a metal unleashed collar, like a fashion thing. And this goes the weirdest kid ever. I'm like, what is happening? Who is this guy? That's my friend. I was like, I don't know.

He just comes in and he plays with us sometimes. He's a fucking weird motherfucker. But I hope he'll be fucked up if you listen to this. I feel really bad. I kind of forgot that comic shops had that section in the back with like the tables, like, where people can actually, like, play things. Like, that's, like, it's such an ancient memory because the last time I, I remember seeing anything like that was in a Dragon's Den and, like, maybe like 2010 or, like, 2011. I was like, wow, people are in the back, like, playing card games. Do you have to pay for that?

Like, what's the, what's the purpose of, like, you know what I mean? Like, how do they, how do they, how do they? How does the company or the store get value? I guess people just, I guess it's like a loyalty thing where it's like, hey, we have a place for you, so we build a report with you and then you come here and you spend money. Because it's not like you have to rent a table, right? I think that's how it started, but I think now there's memberships. I think you buy, you buy like, oh, become a plus member or whatever, this fucking thing, and then you can come and then we do things, these specific hours. at least that's how I think it works

because my friend I think that's how he operated his comic shop fucking I think he's a manager at one God he's been working there fucking forever it's just weird I'm like he's just that he's just that guy he's the comic guy

and he tells me all the cool stories about you know gross people and then people trying to steal shit and they all they're all fucking terrible because like you know people that are trying to steal comic books they're not like thief thieves you know yeah they're not fucking they're not

sli they're not sli They don't have like plus 20 slide of hand. They're fucking terrible. They're the most nervous looking people in the world. It's like, oh, hey, you look, you look like you've clearly stolen something. You know? Yeah, yeah. It's so tempting.

I will say, though, man, it's so tempting to steal from those places. I've never done it. But they're just, they have so much cool shit just laying out on shelves. Like, I remember seeing like, oh, wow, this, there's just a fully functional. and 64 just on this shelf. Success starts with your drive, an American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently.

It said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, and thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Like, if I, if I, if I really didn't care about my own well-being, I could easily, easily take this and sprint. And no one would be able to stop me. Especially nobody there, because, I mean, let's be real about it.

Yeah. They're not going to do shit. Let's be real about the clientele. But, I don't know, man. I, it's been a while since I've seen a couple. comic shop. The dragons then that was around us closed like years ago, so I forgot that they were even a thing. Yeah, they're still, I mean,

they're definitely shrinking, but because it's just less and less people wanting to buy physical things. I mean, even myself, it's been years since I've bought a comic because I think it was just at a whatever convention I went to last, I bought something because I was, oh, I've been wanting this.

But I don't read comics anymore because I kind of screwed myself with with audio books where and podcast now i'm always doing things two things at once where if i'm listening to something i'm also doing this i'm working on a project whatever and now when you read a book or a comic you can only fucking like really pay attention to that you know you can put on music in the background but you're not really paying attention to what you're listening to right you're just it's just on for ambiance and then you're reading your comic or your book and now i can't fucking do

anything else. And so I kind of, now I have to, it's all about audio now to me. So it's like, fucking read this shit to me. Tell me some shit. So I can also play a video game or I can work on my podcast or I can do whatever else. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel about it too. Like, because I, even when I'm like, because I feel like if I, I, it's hard for me to sit down and like read a book. That's why audio books have been like a fucking savior for me for a while. Because like if I want to read something, chances are I'm going to get in an audiobook because I just, I can't bring myself to. to sit there and read something and not do anything else.

I got to be doing something. Even with, like, video games, which is, like, typically, like, you know, I mean, when I was growing up, it was always like, that's a waste of fucking time. So, like, even now, today, where it's my job to play them, and even when it's my job to stream them, it still feels like, oh, man, I'm not wasting my time. What am I doing? Even though I'm not. But just having shit to listen to is way, way, way nicer.

But you can't really, like, listen to a comic. So much of it is the art, you know? Right. So much of that is like the art design of it. Did you ever... Did you ever see that fucking, that Spider-Man comic that was animated, like... Or not animated, it was like drawn or not even drawn. It looked like...

Oh, my God. It was like this Spider-Man comic that looked like it was Gary's Mod 3D models, or like Cocoa Mellon 3D models. And it was just like still frames. And it's like an official Spider-Man comic. Hold on. Spider-Man. Definitely not seen that.

Awful art 3D comic. This is, I swear to God this is real. I saw it super fucking recently and it blew my fucking mind. It was disgusting. Oh, no, that's, it's, I'm never going to find this. Somebody, somebody please in the audience. Verified that this is real. It looked like they were using like, not Cocoa,

and Cocoa Mountain's a bit of an exaggeration, but it looked like they were using like MTV, like that weird 3D Spider-Man MTV show assets, and they were just like... And it looked like they were just staging scenes with the models and, like, taking screenshots of it and using that as like comic panel art. I swear this exists.

I just have no idea how to Google search this. I'm going to rely on comic nerds, you know, encyclopedic knowledge of this of this stuff yeah somebody will find it because yeah I don't see I don't see anything that would resemble that I know I'm searching keywords but I'm like uh Spider-Man

oh man it's yeah I should have saved it I should have saved that I thought I would easily find it again that's the problem yeah I know fuck I rely so heavily on Google I just like assume like oh it's there I'll find it when I need and then when I remember it I fucking don't remember what I search I think I just stumbled upon it too, so I didn't even search for it.

It makes it even worse. Because I would have to like completely retrace my steps on some random day in 2021 that I can't fucking remember to find it. Yeah, I mean, we'll see what people come up with. Otherwise, it might be gone, man. I, man, I hope to God someone knows what I'm talking about it. Because otherwise, it sounds like I'm gaslighting myself. Like I'm lined like I'm full metal sheaning myself. But I swear.

was real. Full metal sheet. I swear to God this is real. Dude, I had a, I had, hold on, man. I had a, there is something that maybe people could help me find this because me and one of my roommates tried to find this. I remember there being a cartoon that was like a little bear. You remember a little bear?

I think that was on like Nick Jr. or some shit like that. Yeah. And like it had like parents that had a fucking suit on or the, the dad. had a suit. The mom had a dress on or whatever, but like Little Bear was naked. It was weird. So it looked like this. From what I remember, this is what it looked like. This is like, you know, I'm a stupid kid, so my memory could be so bad. But here's the thing. It was a family of wombats. It was a cartoon like that. It was a family of wombats. And one thing I remember specifically is that the dad, as a catchphrase, would always say, extraordinary. That was like his thing. It was almost like Excelsior, you know what I mean? But he would say extraordinary.

Like things, it was almost like teaching a kid, a cool word, you know, and that was his cat's phrase, extraordinary. And I can't remember this show. I looked it up, man. It doesn't exist. Like a family, a one bat kid show. I put in Nick Jr. I put in PBS. Everything.

Like, I couldn't find fucking anything. One thing I always remember is that family explaining to other people within the show that they're, marsupials, right? Because it's like, we're marsupials because, you know, dumbass American kids don't know what that shit is. So it was like kind of teaching you about different animals and dumb shit like that. Yeah. And I can't find a spec. I was like all 90s Nick Jr. shows. I tried searching everything, PBS shows, whatever, nothing. And I'm like, dude, don't tell me I made up an entire show. Like a show that just does not exist. I felt that way for a long time with, that the Jumanji show.

Oh no, I remember that dumbass show. Wait, do I? Actually, that's not true. No, because when I was younger, I remember, like, I was really little. It must have been, like, first grade or second grade. I remember waking up and watching that show, but I couldn't remember that it was from Jumaghi, and for years, I was like, do you, I would tell people, it's like, do you remember a show that looked almost exactly like the Wild Thornberries, but it just, it just fucking wasn't.

It wasn't. Like, it just wasn't that show, but I swear to God it existed. It had like similarly ugly faces and they were in like the jungle or something and the guy had like a like a gray like explorers suit and everybody would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? The wild thornberries? I was like, no, it wasn't. And I felt like a psycho for like, for a good like 15 years until I mentioned it on stream or something. I think I mentioned it on stream and somebody was like, oh, that's Jumanji. And then I googled it in sure. enough it was like oh my god that's that's it but i i just remember it as as wild thornberries because i was just too young to distinguish between him i guess that's like what that that's the old that's the way that people will help you find stuff i don't know if i said this on the podcast but i had one of those uh obscure side-scrolling beat-em-up games that i used to play in the boys and girls club when i was 10 years old and i couldn't find it the only description i would say there was like a blet red in blue warrior and then there was the big strong guy like they always have in the beat them up games and then there was a girl and this was the most distinct thing there was a girl

with burnette hair and she had a pink thong on she fought in a pink fucking thong so i'm like if this thing exists this would be easy to find and the only thing that i found for years was just another guy that posted on a forum in 2005 looking for the same fucking game and so i had given up for a long time until 2017 I just asked Twitter And then someone was like oh zero team And I searched zero team And all of a sudden there's like

Zero team footage Fucking in 2014 was uploaded by people Playing all this shit so it started getting widespread But for a while there was no people the game So yeah Moral of the stories never fucking give up one year There might be some information available So I may not be crazy about this wombat show

but... Maybe not. I will say, I will say, doesn't sound familiar to me at all. Like, even slightly. But I wouldn't be surprised, man. There's a ton of shit I never saw.

Like, I actually never saw Street Sharks growing up. I thought that, like, I found that on YouTube, like way later when people would make... Yeah, when people would make, like,

videos about, like, top 10 fucking most ridiculous TV shows and it's like, Street Sharks. I'm like, what the fuck? Dude, Street Sharks was awesome

because they caused billions of damage. Like they killed people. They killed people and then they caused so much damage to the city. I remember when it came back on Netflix for a little while, I told everybody you're dead to me. I'm watching street sharks. And I was so shocked and I'm like,

I can't believe they just made this. These guys are supposed to be heroes and they're wrecking everything. It's like worse than, you know, the thing that they tried to do with Superman and the DCEU. Like, oh, he's fucking everything up. He's scary. I'm like to street sharks. Every time they sat foot, they were a fucking menace.

It was a... It was fun show, though. I will say, I had some of the toys. I would watch street sharks, I think, at five in the morning. And then I think, or it was the other way around. I would watch Ronan Warriors, which was, like, the first anime I've ever watched. It's a fucking terrible show, but it's just near and dear to my heart. Yeah.

It's absolutely horrific, but the toys were cool. It's like the ghost, you ever see ghost stories? I don't think so. I'm sure you must have. It's the, it's, it's, so it's apparently this, and we talked about it last time of the podcast because Sweeney, it was like a question somebody brought up for Sweeney. But it was this anime that was so bad in Japan, like everybody hated it that when they poured it over to the U.S. And tried to get a dub for it. The company was like, do whatever you want.

Like we don't care Yes, yes And it's got that And it's got that fucking rabbit That's got that rabbit That goes like And like there's this one moment Specifically that I fucking love

Where it's like I can't be your friend anymore And then it cuts to like a rabbit Like on fire Or like transforming or something Not because you're a rabbit But because you're black And like all this crazy shit

And it's really the dub But I thought for years That was like an edgy abridged series from like a bunch of random people but it was like the real English dub was just that fuck my friends, it's amazing my friend's like a massive weed

he told me about that for a while he was kind of like going really hard in the pain on anime and I was getting kind of uncomfortable but he did show me some shit like that where I thought that was pretty awesome and they was showing me other shows like this show called Girls Bravo

that is just I'm like it's so this concept is so fucking stupid Like this kid gets sucked down a bathtub and into a world, a universe where only, there's only 10% of the entire population in that world or whatever is just 10% men. So anytime girls see like men or whatever, they just attack them essentially. They just want to just ravage them because they're so scarce. And then he's the, the shy, you know, his nose bleeds around a, you know, it's one of those type of shows. And I'm like, this is so fucking stupid. I hate that shit.

Like, it's so fucking dumb. I did enjoy, I don't know if you watched Tinchie Muyo back in the day. Oh, no. Like, I had a very limited anime intake. It was like Tsunami shit. Like, it was a very similar concept, but it was, it wasn't as ridiculous, but a house full. He lived all the alien girls and all the, he lived with all the girls in the house. They all took refuge in his house from whatever reason.

And then most of them were trying to get at him and he was so like, oh, just like, I'm a little bitch and then everybody, the audience watching, you're basically supposed to have the like,

oh, so lucky. If I was there, I would do, you know, and you're a kid, obviously you wouldn't do anything, but that's kind of the feeling

that it's supposed to give you. Yeah. It was fun show. I mean, it was fun show, but the concept, it's such a, I think I would love to make one of those

just because it's, it's such a stupid trope. Like, oh, the shy retard guy. Well, he's not retarded, but you know what I mean? I mean, he's just fucking, just no game. He's just no game.

And all of a sudden, there's women surrounding him all of a sudden. Yeah. That's so many of those. There's so many anime like that. It's insane. But, all right. So we, I was, I was, I was, we were looking for things to talk about today earlier. There's not, honestly, there's not really much going on.

There's a lot going on in the game space, but we can get to that, like, towards the end of the main chunk of the show here. I wanted to just bring this up because it warmed my. heart. Spider-Man 3 was trending out of nowhere and I was like what the fuck is this? Why is this happening? I love Spider-Man 3. The internet loves Spider-Man 3. We all know this.

But normally doesn't trend really. Unless it's like an anniversary or something. He's like, oh, May 3rd comes around and it's like Spider-Man 3 day and it's like cool. But there's this video going around. It's been shared by like

a million people. It's like, it's on, the one I I was on IGN, but I'm sure, like, it's been posted a million times. This fucking kid, this, he must be like, how old is that kid? You figure, I'm really bad at identifying the ages of, like, really small to them. He looks like, he's like, four or five. Yeah. I would have guessed, too, because I have no concept of how old a child is. But he's like, he's like in the middle of some, like, middle school dance, and he's

doing the, the Spider-Man 3 dance, and it's perfect. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here. to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you

are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. It's like a perfect. Like, I think I saw a side-by-side, and it literally matches the time perfectly and I'm just like

this is insane and it's like a fucking three year old or whatever the fuck so it's like extra impressive that that man that movie is going to last forever that movie will never get old all right it's it's one of those things that

like I'm my favorite content online is YouTube poop like just anything that's like that where you take sentence mixing or anything related to that and there's there's certain metas, right? And right now, like, we're still in the Sam Ramey YouTube meta.

It's lasted for years. It's probably the longest lasting that of any meta that I've seen. Because, like, I'd say Beauty and a Beast was a long lasting one for whatever fucking reason. Yeah, I do remember that. It was all this stuff with, what's his fucking name, Jean? Gaston, Gaston. Gaston. It's a bunch of Gaston.

YouTube poops that I remember seeing anything. It's just fucking ridiculous. That one lasted for, and then Hank Hill, King of the Hill, obviously, and then just the Spider-Man shit is so good, man. The whole fucking bully McGuire shit is just beautiful. And it's cool to see little kids embracing it

that obviously weren't alive when this shit happened, right? So you got to think the parents are big fans, you know? I'm just looking up Gaston YouTube, but there's so fucking many of them. It's insane. Dude, I have some of them saved on my old hard drive, probably from like 2009, 2010, because I was like, I need to preserve this shit because it's Disney. So obviously a lot of this stuff gets taken down. So I have, I have like old fucking YouTube boobs just like this guy, Waxinator. He was a big on making them. Dude, I love him.

Five years ago, Emilio the Burrito is the channel. Gast, 2.5 million views. Gaston, but every time someone says Gaston, he eats four dozen eggs. And like, there's this great one. The biggest, my favorite one, maybe you've seen this, maybe you haven't, is the one where he gets cancer. I don't. I've seen that one. It's his bald head.

It's like someone edits him all balled. the whole time. Dude, the Gaston era was, was, uh, that was some good shit. Right. Those are still some of my favorite ones. Um, there's one called,

I think it's called Lafou's Quest 4. And it's like, it's like Lefou is, is in a video game. And then he keeps getting killed, you know, but he has his lives and stuff. Uh, you know,

Gaston punches him at one point and he dies and it makes the fucking Mario death song. Yeah. That sound when Mario dies. It's really, it's, it's so well done. These are ancient too. These are like really, really old because like I'm looking at the first one that comes up when you type Gaston, YTP, and it says Gaston's ultimate mission to obtain some Taco Bell. Like Taco Bell.

That's one of my favorites. Yeah. But it's a, it says in parentheses, Waxinator re-upload and the re-upload is seven years old. So it's like, it's. I have the original Waxinator once saved on my heart. For this very reason, because like they get fucking taken down. And I'm like, dude, this needs to be, I learned my lesson because there's a video that does not exist on the internet anymore. And I don't know the person who made it because his channel got deleted.

So you can't even see the name of his channel. But it is, it is, the video is called Fresh Prince Gore. And there was a meta that existed from 2006 to 2007 of mashing fresh prince dance clips and death metal. and that's all it was they would literally just for some reason I uh I re what do you call I remastered one

uh called uh I forgot it was called Fresh Prince Death Metal or some shit the Fresh Prince Gore was specifically this guy would slow things down and speed things up to match with the sync with the song perfectly a song called Parasite by Flesh rot

and it was it's such an amazing video and it does does not exist anymore. And I learned my lesson. Ever since that, I'm like, dude,

that shit's gone and it can't be, so you need to save these awesome videos. You see some old-ass video. You're like, save it because it might, something might happen to it.

Yeah. And then it'll, like, it's literally gone. Like, there's nothing, I don't know who to reach out to to find this person.

That because I just, I know it's probably still on his computer or on his hard drive. But it's just, it can't be, it's so, it disappoints me so much. And I don't have the,

patience to try to remake the video myself because it was it was pretty thorough oh like fuck that I'm not gonna do that yeah no that would be that would be a lot those old videos are a lot of a lot of effort went into those no way you're gonna recreate it

there there was some things like that there was like this great every now and then like I'll luck out with that thing I'll like I'll find something that I think is either really cool or really funny and out on a whim I'll just be like I should download this just in case and then sure enough like a week later it's gone like that that's happened to

me at least like four times in the last like couple years and it's it's you know it's a good habit to get into provided you have the space for all that shit because you know if you're watching some right long shit maybe that won't be the the best idea but right I don't know for that I remember hearing this weird remakes of like man I should probably look back it's I think I re-uploaded to soundcloud because I was like I want to I want to keep this but just some really like unorthodox remix. I think it was like a rise against Ellie Goulding remix. And I was like, why the fuck is this so good?

And I downloaded it because I felt like it was going to get struck. And it did like two days later. I was like, I got it. I'm the only one in the world with that fucking song probably. But yeah, maybe. I definitely just stole it from somebody, by the way. It's probably not cool, but that was a long time ago. So I plead ignorance on that.

Man, that's, I think, I think you have to do that. I think it should almost be an obligation when you see something that just, that should be timeless, but it may not survive, you know, because of copyright or whatever. Yeah. I think,

like, people should, their first thought should be, let me download this just in case. And then, you know, you can re-up, like,

I don't mind when people re-upload things and they give fucking credit and stuff like that if the thing is gone. Like, oh, shit, it's gone. Yeah. It's not there anymore. People need to see this.

I don't mind that. No. It's the, it's the motherfuckers when they're uploading shit when it still exist. That's the shit that like, that, uh, bro, go look up, look, try to find my, that my parody I did of the rock, uh, that, that gay rock thing. And, you know, that shit has been, uh, shadow band or whatever, it's just you can't search it. Uh, but there's just so many exist of other people uploading. I'm like, God damn. It's fucking crazy. But I'm like, hey, whatever.

You know what you should, you know what you should do. Uh, you know what? I'm gonna, I'll tell you after. I'll tell you after the show. because I think it's genuinely a good, like a good idea. But I don't want somebody to do it before, you know what I mean? But yeah, fucking, that kid is going to have a bright future if he can already dance like that. 100%. In the meantime, though, this month has been fucking wild when it comes to fucking video games. I don't understand what the hell happened this February, but it's like a uniquely good February.

February usually sucks. For people who don't pay attention to the games industry or game releases, February is usually like nothing. I remember when I think Resident Evil 2 remake launched around this time, and everybody was like, wow, this is amazing that we're getting one great game in February. Like it was, it's not a common thing. And then all of a sudden you had like, hey, here's here's dying light too. Here's fucking Sifu, which is like surprisingly fucking good. Here's Eldon fucking Ring from Software and George R.R. Martin. Here's fucking like unanimously agreed upon like the best destiny expansion that's ever been released.

And it's like it's really daunting as somewhat. Oh, Horizon also. Yeah. The New Horizon, which is also really good. It's fucking stupid. I've been streaming like crazy these last couple days because it's just been, I've had so much to stream. And it's awesome to just have this much stuff to play at once. Even if it is a little bit, you know, it's a bit over-bearing.

It's a little much, man. It's for the lay person that doesn't play video games for a living, I was, I'm like, what the fuck? How do you, how do you handle this? like say right now I'm swamped with the music projects so I was like why the fuck did I buy Eldon Ring? I don't think because I've played

but in the hours that I should be sleeping really and so I'm playing and I'm like not sleeping as well and I just I also thought about it I'm like this is not only is this an open world game it's a fucking soulsborn game where it's going to take way more time to beat because it doesn't tell you

where the fuck to go and the bosses and just well the regular fucking just anyone on the map could fucking kill you and then you have to restart you know so the only thing that I'll give it is that there are so many fucking grace spots there are so many

yeah like it's not like the it's not as bad as like some of the older shit were the campfires were very limited and that shit would fucking make me want to kill myself um but I really I just, I haven't played anything else that you mentioned because I just, I just don't have time.

But Eldon Ring was like, okay, of course I'm going to play that. Like, I've been waiting for this shit for a while. And I just feel, I'm like, fuck, man. I just, I mean, I'm, I feel like I remember when I was steadily working, you know, my eight-hour job, and then I would take a couple of hours. So I'd ride my bike home and then I'd go to the fucking gym. And then I would, I would eat dinner. And then I would maybe have two hours.

maximum to play video games. And, like, I remember that time and it would take me forever to progress to anything. And I kind of feel like that right now. I was like, it's gonna, I don't even, I don't even know how I'm gonna beat this game or win. Dude, if I was, if I was 14 when this game came out, if I was 14 when Eldon Ring launched,

this would have fucking consumed me. It already kind of is. I streamed for 13 hours the other day. because I was just like, huh? I said, what's up, Hassan? Yeah, yeah. I added, like, a Hassan mode scene to my OBS. So, like, whatever.

Yeah, so, like, it's usually like, oh, I got to go get something to eat, so I'll leave my chair empty, and I'll have, like, the Hassan mode above, above my camera, and it'll be, like, in the Grand Theft Auto Font. And I'll just play people, I'll just play people's videos. People's, that's fucking great.

For a little bit. I'll actually credit them, and, like, I won't watch the whole fucking thing. So I'm not that much of an asshole. But it's fun. I like it though. I still like it. I still like it. That's pretty good idea.

Yeah, it's, it's fun. But I think, I don't know, man, this is something else. I have not played a game like this in a long time that has felt this fucking insane. And just like, yeah, it doesn't tell you where to go. It doesn't tell you anything. It doesn't have a quest log. It doesn't fill your map with markers. There's no, like, beacons in the sky to chase.

There's no conversations that you can have with people that, like, you know, that, Oh, well, I'll mark this on your map. None of that shit. It's all like, hey, you go explore and find shit. And it's just fucking incredible. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently. that said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Just how dense the fucking game feels. Like, it doesn't feel, it feels like an open-world game because you can go anywhere, but it doesn't feel as empty as most open-world games feel. Like, I feel like most of the time when I'm playing an open-world game,

I'm just wandering through empty space, not doing anything. but every like square every 10 seconds it feels like there's something that's trying to fuck you up and it's something that you haven't seen before like the variety of like enemies that you're facing in this game is fucking wild I can't believe it's really embarrassing

compared to a lot of other games like when I think of like even games that I love like games like God of War 2018 where you had to fight that same troll like 40 times. And he was just like a vaguely different color and you're like, damn. This game in the brief 20 hours that I've put into it

and I'm only in like the first area, there's already like, I feel like 15 different enemy types and I haven't even seen even remotely the majority of the game or been to even remotely as many of the areas that there are in it. It's, uh, This has a real shot of being like one of the...

This has a real shot of being like this generation Skyrim, I think. Just the thing that's like... Yeah. Everybody's playing it. Everybody's obsessed with it. It's an RPG. It's a hardcore RPG. And it's fucking genre defining.

I love games that don't tell you where to go. That don't fucking crowd your fucking list of bullshit with like meaningless objectives that just blend together that feel completely meaningless. And you're just like, oh, what the fuck is all this? Like the Assassin's Creed, like checkmark style bullshit. just get out of my way and let me play. Yeah, there's, I mean, I think there's, there's a healthy balance where only because, and this is just me being strapped for time.

Yeah. The only thing that I'm like, I just, since I don't have a lot of time to play, it's, I was like, oh, damn, I can't enjoy this genre of game that, like, the, from software's games right now. Even if I played regular fucking Dark Souls, if say I was just starting for the first time right now, I probably wouldn't be able to enjoy it as much because I just don't have a lot of time.

And, and as it makes it, way worse because this is like, oh, this is exactly what people that like love Dark Souls 3, this is like it on steroids essentially. It's just fucking just all the roids have been pumped into it and I absolutely love Torrent. Like Torrent's the shit. Dude, double jumping spirit horse that is so sick. I love like, dude, I'm, it's like fucking people up why you're riding Torrent is so fucking satisfying. Yeah. Yeah, like swinging, swinging the sword like, like, on either side of you, it is, I don't know how they manage to, like, make really, really perfect horseback combat, because usually that shit sucks.

It's fucking gay. Like, I try that shit in The Witcher, and I'm like, this is so bad. It's astonishing. And it's terrible in Skyrim. Every game I've ever played with horseback combat is just terrible. But this one's, like, you can parkour around with this fucking horse. You can jump in one direction and then like trigger the double jump to go back

in the direction that you came from so you're just like zigzagging around on a fucking spirit horse doesn't make any sense whatsoever but it's awesome and it's so fucking fun and I don't know man this is a this is so, it's so good I can't stop thinking about it

it's so good I wish I had more time I know yeah I really want to just sit down I made just like one day just be like, all right, today's my day off. I'm not doing shit. And then just play all fucking day because I really want to.

I've explored, because I love that. With Torrent, I'm allowed to, there's, I can, I can really explore a lot. And then I really get to see how much of this I cannot fuck with because there's so many, I've ran into so many bosses that like, they're so, oh my God. Okay, I definitely can't. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I found that fucking boss, the one that whoops your ass in the beginning before, uh,

that chick. you know, I found that motherfucker, right? Like, I think it's like northeast or something. Yeah, yeah, it was like that bird motherfucker. I think it was like a bird. Wasn't it like a bird or something? What, what, whoops your ass first? I thought, like, when you, the first boss you encountered that you obviously aren't supposed

to beat, but I'm sure some, you know, autism motherfuckers, like, beat it. I actually don't know. I think it, I remember it being a spider lady, but it might, it might be, like, I don't know. Maybe it is. No, I think you're right. I think you're right. I think I'm misremembering. But I always trying to say there's this piece of shit bird thing like North East

like it's like as far as I can go. And I thought maybe because it's so reckless, I thought maybe it can fall off the cliff and stuff because I know like say the Torrent Beast and Dark Soul is the first one, the second boss. You can get it to fall off. And I thought maybe okay, maybe there's something I can do because, but it all, I mean, it has wings,

but it doesn't seem like it's, it seems like it's like chicken wings. Like it can't just stay flat, but it can just use. it to maneuver but no you can't it design it to where it can't fall off and i'm trying i was trying to i was trying to beat it crafty but no i think i just have to come back when i'm actually leveled up that's uh yeah that's kind of the thing like i don't know like i don't have a lot of i don't have a lot of history with souls games like i i played dark souls one a little bit and i i couldn't

fucking i couldn't do it like i i didn't have the patience it was too hard i didn't i feel like I didn't have the time. And also those loading times back then were fucking egregious. And I just, I could not, I couldn't die that many times and then wait several minutes to load back to the fucking beginning. I was just like, ah, this isn't for me. And then I tried fucking bloodbore. And I was like, this is definitely better. I like this more.

But success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills. and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder,

and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I don't know. It's okay. It's good. I don't have a problem with it, but it's not exactly my cup of tea. And then Sekiro came out and I was like, this is my shit right here. Securo, I think it honestly,

just because you can jump. I knew you were going to say that. For real. Like, I just think, like, just being able to jump changes the game to me because I don't feel staple to the ground like in gears of war or anything. I feel like I can actually, like, fuck with people.

And I feel like it adds a new dimension to combat where you can jump slash and do all this cool shit. It definitely does. I'm more used to that, like say the original God of War series. I'm used to jumping and stuff like that, aerial combat. I understand the reason why they don't do that

because they're trying to make their literally grounded and more realistic because think about actual fighting who actually jumps when they're fighting that's the whole thing that's the whole thing where it's like okay I get it I get what you're trying to do but I'm also playing a fucking video game

so right exactly let's yeah I'm basically I'm basically just doing Sekiro again like I'm like this shirtless bandit guy with like a katana and that's what I'm doing right now like a dexterity build where I'm just going around being like some fucking secret samurai

and it's awesome that you have the flexibility to do that because really I never really played any of their Souls games enough to really fuck with builds at all because I only really went through Sekaro and Sekaro is one build. Like, Sekaro is a very focused game. It's very like

Mega Man in that way where it's just like this is the game and you're either going to be good at it or you're not. You can't fucking level shit up. You can't fucking pick a flail or a mace to cheese a boss. It's just like you got your sword and fuck you.

you know but it's cool to have that flexibility just like fuck around and like use a a sword that's 10 times your size or a fucking katana or a flail or a mace or a whip I found a whip

oh yeah I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with that thing but that's the one cool thing about like that like the Dark Souls game even in the fucking I actually never I never because Demon Souls was just too

I haven't played I don't have a PS5 or anything so I haven't played the remastered one or anything That's a good one. But like, say, I want to play it. I just, I think I'm going to get, like, say, for example, if they pull a fast one now, because it's been a long time. Now, maybe you know, since you know, you're on your sacred symbols,

I know a long time ago they said that God of War, Ragnarok or whatever, is going to be on PS4, but it's been so long since that was said. I don't know if that's still the plan. Like, what if they're like, well, what if they're just put on PSY now? I think it's going to be cross-gen still I think it's the last... I think they've promised it for too long to not deliver it on an entire platform

that they've been accepting pre-orders for. I don't think they can get away with... I think they must get that out on PlayStation 4. But I think that means that that game's coming to PC at some point, which is good. I do think Demon Souls is probably going to end up on PC, like the remaster.

At some point. I don't know when, but it's only been a year and some odd months since Demon Souls came out, so it's probably going to be at least like another year or so before it's really back on the docket. Although maybe, I don't know,

a lot of games that we thought were not coming to PC have come to PC. Horizon, Death Stranding, God of War, fucking... God of War is fucking insane. That didn't even... Yeah.

That's the flagship shit, and they're like, yeah, all right, no problem. Yeah, like, if they're gonna put God of War on PC, I don't see why Demon Souls would be so special that they could, they was like, no, this is a PlayStation. No, just put that on a PC even. I remember when God of War IV was announced on for PC immediately,

I think almost trending even more than God of War was fucking Bloodborn. People were like, all right, cool. Now, hey, go talk to fucking Bloodborn people, please. Because what the fuck? That's the sticking point. The thing that throws a wrench in that whole conversation is, it's been a long time, why is Bloodborn not on PC? Right.

I think that came on like 2015 or some shit. Yeah, that was it 2015? It must be, right? I think so. Yeah, because I remember 2014 was a bad year for video games. And that could not be. Blood-born release date. Yeah, March of 2015.

Yeah, so... I think Game of the Year in 2014 was like fucking Dragon Age Inquisition. Yeah. It was a dire time. That was when the Master Chief Collection launched and it was broken for months. That was when... Oh, right.

That was when Vanilla, like, destiny... Like, vanilla destiny was out, and, like, nobody understood what the fuck was going on and the story was terrible and... I liked it, but there were a lot of problems with that fucking game. That was definitely, like, a 7 out of 10 max. Especially at launch. That was a rough fucking year.

2014 was embarrassing. 2014 video games. Let's look at this fucking list. You had... Call of Duty advanced warfare, which everybody hated. Oh, with the Kididdler, right? Yeah, Kevin Spacey. Yeah.

You had Titanfall 1, which... Oh, right, right. Which was good, but also... It's not Titanfall 2. Titan Fall 2 is fucking amazing. Yeah, it's complete. It's like a complete game. It is insane to me, the Dragon Age Inquisition

one game of the year. What the fuck? There's actually a lot... There's actually way better shit here. I think Middle Earth, I had more fun with Shadow Mordor. Yeah, me too. I played a lot of Inquisition because I'm a fan of Dragon Age Inquisition. Just, I mean, I'm a fan of the Dragon Age series.

Yeah, yeah. But I will say I had more fun playing Shadow Mordor for sure. Hey, Unity was a broken fucking mess. That was hilarious. Fucking wild. That was hilarious. Watch dogs. Oh, oh, yeah.

That was another one that did a. Metal Gear Solid 5 ground zeros, that weird like prelude thing that was like three hours long. Right. Did you play? I skipped Far Cry 4. Did you play that one? I tried. But I don't know.

Like I really liked Far Cry 3 a lot. Like I sunk a lot of time into Far Cry 3 and I was just enamored with it. I think something about like the tropical setting and just the villain was awesome. And the fact that your main character actually spoke and interacted with the fucking person. that was just a really solid game like that formula is really really overdone now but at the time that was a really solid game and I fucking loved it I couldn't

I couldn't put it down but when Far Cry 4 came out I remember playing it a little bit and feeling like I don't know if I care about this villain all that much I don't know if I care about the gray Himalayas I don't know if I care about the fact that my character

my player character doesn't say anything uh it was just a very I don't know And then I played Far Cry 5 And it was kind of a similar thing Where it's like there's cool ideas here But

This is starting to feel a little Samey and bland Yeah But uh I yeah Yeah Fucking but man I don't know man

Watch dogs That's some pretty good shit right there I think I played 15 minutes of watchdogs I beat watchdogs I finished it Did you? Yeah Because I think I was

I was so hungry for like like a Grand Deft Auto type game to play on my new console and GTA 5 either didn't run super well on the next-gen consoles or just wasn't available at all I can't remember which one I think it was I think it might have just run worse

I think it because yeah I think it was on I think it got put on in the next year 2015 I think I'm not super sure something something was really fucking about that game that I can't I can't exactly remember remember. But I was really hungry for a game like that. So I like I bought watchdogs and I played it and I was like, oh, it's like hacker Grand Theft Auto. I can, I'm kind of liking this, I think. And I, I, I, I gaslit myself through the entire game. Like, I was just like, this is good. I'm having fun. It's my, it's the only game I own. So it has to be good. And I don't know, honestly, in retrospect, it was fine. It was like a mediocre game. A lot, a lot of, a lot of, the fun I had was just like making up scenarios in my head. You know, just like, oh, I'm a hacker and I'm fucking, I don't even care about this guy's story, but I'm just like, you know what I mean?

Like probably, I should probably give another chance because I, I didn't play enough of it where I was just like, I don't care about what's happening and then I put it down. You don't have to give it another chance. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say it's worth going and revisiting. I'm just saying it's like, it's a, it's a perfectly fine, mediocre game to waste time with. Although, maybe you can get it for like, how much, how much, how much. much do you think they're selling what the original watchdogs for it? Oh, man. Watch dogs PS4.

Dude, it's like a fucking cup, what do you call it? A cup. What do you put your cups on the, on the table? Coaster? Coaster, thank you. What do you put your cups on? I couldn't think of the name. So it's $12 on eBay.

That's still too much, I think. That I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't. I would pay like, $7 on like if I can get like a steam code or something. Yeah like $7 max. Max. You know, like $6.99. Dude, I'm thinking even worse.

I'm even being more green. I'm thinking like $3. No, you're right. Actually, because I mean, there's some games that I have in my wish list that will be like, like, what is that game called the itchy? Damn. It's that, it's that one of those bullet hell games. And it's normally like $10.

and I think it's on sale probably like half off and I'm like ah not yet I found it I found it so so I put it out on Twitter so I put it out on Twitter because it was it was it was killing me it's somebody responded it's called Spider-Man Quality of Life and oh if you Google this if you guys Google this I swear to God it is it looks like fucking buttolly Martians but it's an official fucking I cannot describe to you how hideous this game this fucking comic series is. Quality of life, huh?

Yeah, Spider-Man quality of life. And it's real. Oh, wow. Are you seeing this? Oh, my God. I'm so glad I'm not crazy. Your lack of wit reveals your abundant fear. It's the worst doc I've ever seen.

Yeah, that's a real. That's a real. fucking comic panel from that from that comic wow it's like jimmy neutron or something it's it's such a terrible terrible art style that's incredible it's so funny too because it's like that's a

genuine panel from the comic but it's not even lit it's not even like they have these models and like okay we have these like really ugly models let's like do some lighting with the scenery to like make it like look like let's darken the background let's edit in Photoshop to maybe like make it pop a little bit it's literally just it looks like like screenshots of a terrible PS2 video game.

Right. Right. It really does. It really does. That's that's that seemed I want to know the explanation for like the people that made this.

I want to know why. It has to be a joke. Like hey, let's let's do this is going to be funny. Kind of a thing. You know what I mean? Like just make some bullshit because it's going to be funny. You can't be, you can't make this and be proud it. No, no way. You can't be like, I, it's such a, it's such a fucking interesting

thing that exists. Like, it only ran for four four comics. That makes sense. Yeah, there's only four issues of it. Those are pretty cool collectibles though. Actually, I wouldn't mind like owning that shit. Oh, yeah, no, that would it would be, it would be certainly something to own that. But, uh, oh my God. Dock-Ock looks

fucking unreal. All you guys listening? Do yourself a favor, Google this. You will not be disappointed. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh,

or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. West.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. Dude, Doc Ock looks so fucking bad. It's incredible. Yeah. Like, that's incredible. Because I'm looking at some other things where Spider-Man looks like, like, the consistency is different. Like, whatever Spider-Man has been rendered with is different from what Dr.

Ak, because I'm seeing like two, like another panel. And they don't even look like, this is fucking amazing. Yeah, I'm glad I could, I'm glad I could, shine some light on this again because it just burst it into my memory because of the conversation we were having and I just, I fucking Holy crap. I was so

Yeah, thank God. That's awesome. It's so gross. But yeah, I don't remember what we were talking about before because I just, I had to make sure we got that out. But whatever. Are we talking about how terrible watchdogs is? Yeah, don't buy watchdogs unless you can get it for super cheap.

Because it is kind of fun to fuck. It's fun to fuck around in the same way that like, grant that thought it was fun to make your own head cannon in where it's like, yeah, I'm running from the cops and I'm like, I'm stuck in this hospital and I'm like fucking gunning down millions of police officers as they find out Oh yeah, fucking hoard mode. Hell yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, in that way, it's

fun, but it's not really that interesting. Um, so let's, uh, let's jump into some fucking questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. Uh, join us over there. If you want to ask us some, some questions for the show.

Uh, your support is much appreciated. And let's go for, let's check with Zach Cool Number. He wrote and he says, hello, first time patron, long time listener. What is your guys' opinion on adding an easy mode to a game, even if it would detract from the game's identity

and the developer's vision? This has been a recurring topic, especially around FromSoft releases, and it has been complicated, it has been a complicated discussion for both sides of the argument. Thanks for your question. Zach, cool number?

appreciate it. Yeah, that has been a topic that is, I keep seeing, recurring, it keeps coming up, especially now that Eldon Ring came out, right? Because you saw a couple of people refunding and some people bitching about it being too hard and stuff. And I'm like, well, it's funny how you don't know that about these games by now, you know. Yeah, you should know. Yeah, but it is, I guess a lot of people got caught up in the hype that normally don't

play the Dark Souls games. Like, Eldon Ring looks cool. I see George R. Martin. I want to see what's going on with this shit, you know. I have, I feel like I have like somewhat of a nuanced take about this because I was actually going to make a video about this same topic because I was hearing the arguments and my whole, I felt like I completely understand the people that I understand the people that want an easy mode.

I understand them. I understand like the argument of adding an easier mode to this. doesn't affect any of you that already are going to play this the game the way that it's designed the way that you want it. Just like say when you see like the, usually the normal hard mode is the way

that the developers are designed a game to be played when they have different options. Usually a step up from normal is like, this is your, this is the way you should truly experience it where it's not just bitch made. It's a little bit tough and, you know, and then there's the harder mode, right? Like, I understand that.

Like I get it and I agree with those people that literally I would just not I've there's only one time I played easy mode on a game it was when I was trying to blaze through the the first time I played Dragon Age Origins where I was like this game's gonna take fucking forever I saw I put it on casual

to just blaze through it because I just wanted to see the story and everything I was like I really like this game I replayed it over because I really enjoyed it so much that's exactly what I did with The Witcher 3 like I was like I did not like combat in that game at all and I was like you know what I the story's awesome

I am just here for this. I do not care about sliding around on this fucking buttery horse. Yeah. So, like, I understand that. And the people, like, say, that's the thing, because I've heard some arguments saying, like, a lot of people are using the word integrity. Like, oh, the way the developer, the integrity of the game and shit like that. And I felt like those arguments are kind of silly because when people mod the games to make them harder, it fucks with the integrity of the game. and nobody, none of those people mind it.

They love that shit. They love when you take the game and mess with it in a way that makes it wait. Like say Dark Souls 3, there was an all Gail run, the last boss of the Ring City, DLC. And every single boss, every single enemy in the game is Gale. And it's such a ridiculous thing,

but I've been watching this guy named Challenger Andy play since, I think, the summer of last year, probably over like 4,000 deaths now right now. Progressing through the game. But it's like, it's really fun to watch. I love it. But I would say how the game was designed to be played,

you're completely fucking with it. And so I would feel that would be the same thing when they say, okay, you add an easy mode and it's fucking with the integrity of the game, the way that it was designed, the way the vision of the game, I don't think that's a really good argument, but I hear that's like the best argued

thing about why people don't want there to be an easy mode because I don't really understand the reason um why other people would be mad like they call them the gatekeepers right they call them the gate I don't I don't really understand like what is the do you have another side of that stance like the of why like like a like that's like a good point to why it's there shouldn't be one um and I'm not even saying there should be one I'm just saying that like understand the reasoning why people want one and the people that are against it, I don't really, nothing seems that strong to me right now as far as an argument. But like, uh, I, I think it depends on the game that's being talked about. I think there are

games like The Witcher or Dragon Age or even, I don't know, things like Skyrim or things that are very, very, very story driven and narrative driven, right? Where I feel like I understand the necessity of casual or easy modes because if you just want to be there for the story, then that's totally valid. The thing with a Soulsborn game, though, that I think is a little bit different is the story is kind of barely there.

It's almost non-existent. Yeah, like, it's there if you look for it, but it's not a highlighted aspect of, it's not front and center to the experience most of the time. And to me, without the, the difficulty if you're playing success starts with

your drive and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh or pursuing a lifelong passion

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's

largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm,

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. If you're playing Sekiro or Dark Souls on Easy, you're kind of not playing it, I feel like. And I do think that there's an aspect of it where it's like, I wouldn't be upset if they had an easy mode, but I do think it would be a little bit bizarre

because it's just, I don't know what you would be getting out of Dark Souls, if not the satisfaction of accomplishing those, You know what I mean? Like, I don't understand what the point of Dark Souls would be. Because it's, it wouldn't be fun to just beat everything up. Like, there's so many games that let you do that and that are way better. Like things that, I'm thinking of games like therapeutic games like prototype where that whole game is just about picking people up and throwing them against walls and shit and just

taking your aggression out on just random people. But the other thing that I think is a bit more of a compelling thing. It's like, it's not necessarily that there shouldn't be an easy mode. It's that from software doesn't, have one, and that's okay. Because ultimately a developer should be able to make whatever, whatever game they want. And if they want things, I actually prefer games that have no difficulty settings.

Like games that are like, okay, you know what, here's a game, it's designed, it's designed this way. These are a lot of old school games are like this. A lot of, like, Mega Man. If they make them harder on average, I'm okay with that. Like the Assassin's Creed series was fucking awful. No, but that's what I mean. I mean, but those are games.

Can you not pick difficulty in Assassin's Creed? Not in the old ones. Oh, weird. The one where they switched, what is it, the Egypt one and on when they revamped their shit. But yeah, the old ones was just a setting. And I was like, this is fucking, this is, this is way too easy. Yeah. Well, yeah, but that's the thing.

It's like you have to design your games well. But I do think games with, games with singular difficulties are almost not always, obviously, because you have Assassin's Creed. and I'm sure there's a handful of others that also fit into that mold. But I think they're generally better designed than games that have to tailor themselves to multiple difficulties because the developer only has to focus on one specific experience. It's the same reason why Zelda doesn't have difficulty settings and why these Souls games don't have difficulty settings. It's because it allows the developers to really focus in on tuning the damage just right

and tuning the level design just right and tuning enemy placement just right so that everybody, is having a uniform experience, and the only defining factor on whether or not somebody gets through that is if they can learn it on their terms. It reminds me of like Mega Man or like those old school games that are like really, really hard, but there's no setting. Like you either get good or you don't. And there are ways to kind of circumvent that, actually, because these games almost, it's almost like the difficulty is part of, or the difficulty setting is part of the gameplay.

Like in Mega Man, it's going to be a lot harder to go after a specific boss before you have a specific item. So you could just go get that specific item, which will be a lot easier to maintain, or a lot easier to obtain, and then go to that boss, which is now a lot easier. And I feel like Souls is a lot like that. Sekaro is actually more unlike this than any of them. But the fact that, oh, this boss is really hard, I want this fight to be easier. So what do I do? I could either, A, get really good, or I can go and farm the shit out of everybody around me

and just level up my guy so much that I can just take this guy in like five hits or something. Right. Which I have done that one time. Yeah. In Dark Souls, or I think actually the first time, I don't remember which run it was, but I spent a good half of the day. just fucking farming there's the dragon on the bridge

that would like you know it would breathe the fire and it would kill like the the millions on the bridge and that would just farm I farm that for hours so it can only take you so far in Dark Souls but it still gives you

a good advantage in the very beginning of the game I remember doing some shit like that also was funny I think that's totally valid but the thing is it's like that is I think that's a really cool aspect of from software games

is the fact that you can make your own difficult Like, you can choose to play easy mode, you just have to work for it. In the same way that you can persevere on the normal, very, very hard difficulty if you work for it in the combat. If you work like, oh, I'm going to tie, I got to get better at dodge rolling. I got to get better at invincibility frames. I got to get better at parrying. You know, both avenues, the normal hard difficulty and the easy mode require work of the player.

And I think that that's really cool. So, in my opinion, there is an easy mode in Dark Souls. there is an easy mode in Eldon Ring, you just have to work for it. And that's part of those games. That's what I really like about this game that I didn't really appreciate about other games because I felt that they were too linear

and I just got kind of bored farming the same rooms over and over again. But in Eldon Ring, it's so open that farming is fun because you don't have to stay in one place. You can go somewhere else and farm some other shit or you never have to have the same farming experience over and over again. and putting in that work is the satisfaction of the game. And if you could just breeze through it for like minimal story,

I just don't know what you'd be getting out of that game. And I think you might actually see negative, you probably may, you might even see like negative reviews of the game because they're just like, what does this game offer? It's just a bunch of people to kill, you know? I could see why they might be a little bit more focused on one.

I think, yeah, with that, like I will say because I, The way that I enjoy games really does depend on timing and say right now I don't have that much time. So it's one of those things that there's a solution within the video that I never released the video. But the solution that I came up with, I felt like the best thing that people should do, for most games, most games are available on PC. Obviously there's some that there's nothing to do. They're console exclusives. But for most games are available on PC. And I really think now more than ever, it's really affordable to own.

a decent fucking rig that can play like most games, right? They can play like anything. If you can get a graphics card from all the people using them to fucking make NFTs in Switzerland or wherever the fuck they're making them. Right. But usually they're not getting like, you can still get like something that's like, what is it, that's associated with brands that people usually don't go for. Because like everybody's getting all the fucking, all the, Nvidia.

Yeah. So it's like you can get some other stuff that will work as well. well, but it's just not as, you know, it's not as desirable. You know, like, yeah, it is. Like, I've had some, like, AMD CPUs. I've had some things that were like, and I didn't have any fucking problems. I'm just saying. But anyway, my whole point is that mods and trainers are a thing that can be used, which

people, you know, especially in this community, in the Dark Souls community, like, say, there's a website called Nexus, right? That's where, like, it's like the home of the mods. and I don't I don't if there are Dark Souls mods on there there's basically nothing that will help you cheat because within the community it's like frowned upon however they're still there they're just not in like that hub my whole my whole argument was

let the developers make the game they want to make and if you say for example you're strapped for time and you're like I usually love these games now what is your reasoning for playing a Souls game to say like it is the combat and all that stuff and challenging and beating these bosses. However, I know there's some people, especially when they just look at the art

and they're like, I just want to see the bosses. I want to see what's in this world and I can't go anywhere because I'm getting my ass kicked. So I'm like, all right, if you just want to play some, you know, soft-ass pillowy thing but you want to see what's in within the world and experience all the crazy shit that's happening, I can understand that point of view. Like, I'm not that person.

Like I did get satisfaction from beating like Orange Steen and Smow and Dark Souls 1. Like, you know, that's like hard ass fucking combo. Beating fucking Dark Eater Medea and Dark Souls 3. Like I got fucking satisfaction out of that. Absolutely. Especially when you try it so many fucking times and you finally do it, you're like, Jesus Christ, I finally did it. And then, you know, I'll maybe I'll go back to it a year or something because how frustrating it was. Because I remember how frustrating it was.

But like I said, I'm trying to, this is just me doing the. devil's advocate thing where there's like uh in the within one of the dc's of dark souls three there's there was some really cool bosses and it's just kind of like being able to see that now i guess the counter argument would be we'll look it up on youtube i guess and just see people their footage and stuff is available but i was just saying for options people spin invest some money into a pc and you can fuck with your games enough to where you can play it exactly the way that you want to play it and then the developers aren't forced to add things for you. You know, you can kind of just take your own initiative to,

like, it's like sports games. I wouldn't play fucking sports games. Like, like, you guys heard me talk about NBA 2K. Um, I wouldn't play that shit if I couldn't fuck with the games. Because normal, normal basketball games are so fucking boring and stupid. But when you, when I get to like do really dumb shit and, you know, score hundreds of points per game and I'm just like, it's funny as fuck to me. So I'm just playing the game for, That stupid-ass reason. So I always say... Success starts with your drive.

An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing

pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. for an office near you. No easy mode. Go mod your shit. Yeah. There's always ways to fuck with shit.

Especially on PC. Right. So, right. That's why I like people invest in PC. It's not like fucking back in the day where that shit was like, I can't get one anymore. It's too. If you can buy a PS5, you can actually buy a fucking rig now.

Like, they're not that fucking. You're not going to get the best shit. But you're going to get something that will allow you to play the stuff. And look, and I think people are less picky. about, I honestly think people are less picky about graphics on average because, I mean,

the firm software games are not the most beautiful fucking games. It looked like, Elnary looks good. But it's not fucking... Yeah, it's got good art design, but it's not like a graphically impressive. Exactly. I mean, too, I think Sekito is like,

is like 15 gigs on PC. Like, the game's fucking, you know what I mean? Like, how, how fucking how full and fucking overhaul could the game be and like elder ring is i think it was like 80 which is good but for an open world game you'd think it would probably be like over a hundred a hundred you know yeah so it just it's just people aren't fucking really freaking out like about that shit you know it's just i think gameplay wins in the end of the day yeah but i do think performance is something that people care a lot more about now than oh you're right they used to like

so i think it's swapped from graphics to performance because people keep You're right. You'll be happy playing a video game where Kirby eats a car and is like, you know, 240p or whatever. But like if that thing goes below fucking 30, you know, everybody's going to be like, what the fuck is this? You're absolutely right. Before they patched Eldon Ring, it was actually running kind of shitty. It was, uh, yeah.

Yeah, I remember that. I mean, it's still kind of running shitty for me. Like, like, it runs perfectly fine, but then every 40 minutes or so, I'll get like, and it always happens, it's really consistent, it's like, it's not consistent time-wise, it's not like every 30 minutes exactly or every 40 minutes exactly, it's just like every long chunk of time or so, I will get reliably a period where it's like three freeze frames, where the game will just pause, and then it'll speed up back to where I was, it'll pause again, and then it'll pause again, and then it'll go back to normal for like, however many, however long,

like 50 minutes an hour, and then it'll happen again. And it's like very strange. Like it's, I can reliably predict how many more freeze frames happens the second it, it starts again. And they're like, oh, okay, we got two more. It'll be fine. And sometimes it'll happen while I'm exploring, which is no big deal. But sometimes it'll happen when I'm like doing some bullshit double jump with torrent over a place that I know was going to kill me. And it fucking, or like in the middle of like a boss fight or something.

And it's like, oh my God, this is the worst possible time. It's unfortunate that it's as unstable as it is. but I don't know yeah that's just impressive it's a fucking crazy good game and I would highly recommend it even with the performance issues it's so funny though on PlayStation like people are saying like get the PS4 version and then run it on PS5

it's the only way to get locked 60 and it's like oh my god uh Shue J-Mond wrote in he says hi voices in my head thanks for making my long workday's actually fun. My question is simple. You guys go to a record store, but there's only three discs on sale laid out in front of you. A fully produced Ben Shapiro hip hop album entitled, Hypothetically, let's drop bars. Paul Joseph Watson to Gemba Studies entitled, I Broke Way Too Many

of These Drums, or Keith David's Buttery Smooth Voice in his very own soul album, Voices of Heaven. the teller tells you you can only take one I believe you all understand the dilemma here I'm easily taking the Keith David thing same in a fucking contest I mean a soul album that is that's the obvious thing right

I can throw out the Paul just with Watson one yeah I kind of I'm a little I really want to hear fucking Ben Shapiro rap like there's like his it's just it's fuck his stupid-ass voice man

it's just too it's too unbelievable I would have to be look Ben Shapiro is another example of just that fucking nerdy voice that just happens like you just like what is that shit

yeah it's so strange he just talked like a fake person it's very strange but that would be an interesting album it would be kind of cool it would be it would definitely be a lot funnier like to hear a Ben Shapiro here hip-hop album. I don't even know what that would be me and my N-words pile

up in the car and we see some hot bitches roaming afar or like he's almost like he's like a fucking doing a poem or some shit because he doesn't know what rap is. He's like a limerick. I'm man see

I'm sort of shocked that I'm going to search on YouTube after this because I imagine that somebody's had to have done this already Oh for sure right some songs of, because I, man, the people, people are on this shit like pretty quick. Especially around that, that wet-ass pussy thing.

Remember that? Oh, my God. He was, oh, fuck. I, I googled Ben Shapiro raping. I meant rapping. And YouTube is like, did you mean rapping?

I did. Did I tell you about that? In seventh grade, some kid, we had to write a report, and he wrote a report on being, he wanted to be a famous rapper, but, you know, he spelled it with one P. Did I tell you about that? Oh, my God, a famous rapper. Yeah. Oh, my God.

That was fucking best, dude. Oh, God. Yeah, he's, it would be interesting to see a rapist, Ben Shapiro. If Ben Shapiro could rap, so who's, sir, Sir Spence? Looks like there's some guy that's... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder. and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Oh, it's just the... It's a remix of fucking, what is it, wet-ass pussy or whatever.

Big deal. That's not that interesting. I think you've convinced me. I think I'll change my... I think I'll go with the... Because Keith David's voice is a gift regardless. Like, I don't need it to... Right. I don't need him to do a soul album to be a gift.

But like that, a full-on... Hypothetically, let's drop bars would be a banger. And I want to hear it. Aubrey Chestnut wrote in. She said, hey, hey, retards. What was your favorite implement on the playground to see children get absolutely bodied on? You could reach for anything from seesaws or monkey bars. Go ham with this one.

Listen, I actually have a good answer for this. Oh, I don't know if it's a good answer. I think it's pretty an obvious answer. That thing, it's that circular point. platform, right? With all the bars that kind of like act as like handles where you can like spin around. It's the thing that Jesse is like lying on and breaking bad

when he's like going insane. He's like throwing all the money away. No, no. It's, it a merry-go-round? Is that, is that accurate? Because a merry-go-round is the horse one. Well, that's technically a carousel. Oh! What?

Oh my god. That makes so much fucking sense. I've never thought about that Wait a minute Wait, what's Mary Go Around Yeah, because what the hell else Would you call it?

I just Oh my God, it is Yeah, what the fuck I always thought Marygo around Was the fucking horse thing Oh, I mean, I guess it's It makes sense that it's like the same thing But yeah, that thing's called a carousel

Yeah, it is And I knew the word carousel And I knew it meant that So I don't know what the fuck I... I don't know... That's awesome. Wow. This is like a really like intense moment for me.

But yeah, the fucking merry around that thing. Seeing people, seeing children specifically overdo it on that thing and just go tumbling into poles and like falling into the like the scrapy like gravel that they have all over fucking playgrounds. It is, uh, I remember I, I remember. remember at cath I was at a i was in catholic school for a little bit when i was younger and we had a playground in the back of the school like in the back after the parking lot it was like a very weird layout that's cool but there was a merry-go-round there and i remember in i think fourth grade there was some kid who was like spinning and he just his friends wouldn't stop spinning and he was like go go keep going he was like spinning and it looked like he became like a like a zoatrope

almost where it was like you could you could see like frames of him doing animations if you blinked hard enough and when he got off he vomited all over his shirt his pants his shoes everything it's not even like oh I got a little bit of throw up on my shirt

like oh that sucks I'm going to have to you know everything and his parents had to pick him up drenched and I remember watching him from the classroom watching him go into the car covered and vomit and just thinking like oh my god I would be so furious if I had to pick up my kid and they were just covered head to dough and vomit

because they fucking overdid it on a merry-go-round I'd humiliate them but get naked take your clothes off because you're not putting that shit in my seats you're not yeah you're fucking everyone's gonna see butt-ass naked because you're not changing in the car you're getting undressed before you get inside the car. I feel kind of bad for him because his parents clearly didn't get him a change of clothes,

even though they probably could have. So it's probably like a really bad situation at home. But anyway, that is my favorite. That is a... That's a good answer. Marrygo rounds are fucking, yeah, I've had... There's definitely been incidences with that and then swings. Swings, I would say, second.

Kids have done some really dumb shit. with swings trying to jump off and hurting themselves, breaking shit. And then we learned how to jump off backwards. Like when you're swinging backwards and then you jump off and that was really dangerous. That sounds like your face just goes flying into the ground. It could.

I mean, usually you would just land on your feet. Like it was a cool trick. But if you didn't like, if you're a dumb kid with terrible coordination, you know. Yeah, you're not going to do that fucking trick. You got to be a gymnast. You got to be like a ballet, like a ballerina. I was going to say a ballet.

person. I forgot the word for ballerino. Fucking, I think yeah, the swings are a classic one. Because I remember I remember seeing some kid do, like, you know how some, like, they'll do the thing where they try to push it and get it all the way around. Yeah. Yeah.

That was the thing I remember seeing a lot of. And I've seen a lot of attempts at that that were actually like super successful. Like I've seen it done successfully more than, more than a handful of times. And I remember seeing it one time. and thinking like, oh, it's going to be, they're going to do it because it's the same kid pushing. Same kid that was always, he just knew how to do it. And then he did it, and then it did that thing where it goes like, like,

whoop, and then down onto the pole. And it was like a, it was like a Batman Bain scenario for that kid, but I think he was all right because he was like, I don't know, he was like 10. When you're that young, you're just kind of invulnerable to like everything. Like you can, the amount of. bodily harm you can sustain as a child is insane. Right.

I think it's why parents beat them. Yeah, to harden them? Not because they just know that they just know that they'll be fine. Yeah. You cannot beat a 22-year-old as a parent in the same way that you could beat a child because that 22-year-old's dead.

Very true. Like, I've seen kids slapped across rooms before, man. Like, I've seen that That's no joke Kids definitely got fucked up quite a bit Yeah I yeah I fucked myself up quite

I mean I tore a ligament And I didn't even know it was torn until recently You know Because I tore it a long time ago Yeah In my wrist It explains a lot though I thought I broke

So I thought I broke some small little bones In my wrist that like My friend he did this one time He fell off a skateboard And he broke some like Some of the small bones Within his wrist And they're like

You can't really They don't heal They just die off. So I thought maybe that's what happened because there's like a lot of pain in my wrist. And I just, I don't fucking, you know, you gotta get surgery. I'm like,

I don't give shit about that. They don't, they don't heal? What do you mean? What do you mean? There's like these little bones in your wrist, like say they, they won't like just like,

like it's not like say like your bones that if you snap it or something, you reset it and they'll start to like callous over and regrow and all that shit. These things are kind of like, they're in between ligament stuff. And so it doesn't have any, it just, breaks and dies.

It's like these little... Now, I didn't break any bones, but I tore a ligament that I didn't know until last year. So it explains a lot, though, because I can't play guitar as well because it's really weak. And it's like right in here specifically

where it's like hard to grip things if I try to play. It makes me a terrible musician. Like, I can't progress as much. But I didn't... I thought, like, I just took it. I was a kid. I injured my...

wrist twice and then when I was 16 was when I tore it. Because I know it was swollen. I know my wrist was swollen and then it went down. I didn't do anything about it. And now I know. Now I fucking know that I'm just all fucked up. But if I was an adult when this happened, it would have been completely different story.

I would go into the emergency room. I would have been like probably, you know, woe was me, somebody take care of me type of shit. I just fucking, I just fucking suck it up. I'm like, yep, this sucks. I got to go home, guys. that's literally what happened with me in my uh over the summer last year i fucking uh i don't know if i broke my ankle or if i fucked or if i sprained it super hard basically i was going downstairs and i i was like

putting my mask on while i was going downstairs to go outside and i was going to go with my friends to go to like some like bar in the like the middle of the day like because for some reason we were doing that and i skipped i skipped the last step by accident and didn't realize it. And I landed with my foot like like sideways like with all my weight skipping a step onto my foot. And I remember I heard a crack

and then I felt like this, I felt like my, the best way that I can describe it is it felt like a car hit my foot from underneath me. Was like the best way that I can describe it. It was like a really intense amount of pain. remember thinking like okay and then I stopped I stood there for a second I was like I heard a crack and I stood there and without saying anything to my friends my friends were like ahead of me and they

like walked out of the building by now I just turned around and went back upstairs and went to sleep and then like later on I got like some like bandages and shit but like I think uh I think I definitely fucked something up and I definitely didn't heal correctly because like now sometimes, even though this doesn't feel like it should be related, like when I'm walking, every now and again, I'll feel like this weird, like, hyper-specific, like, sharp tear in the soul of my foot that's like, I don't know, or it's like, oh, that's new, that's interesting.

Maybe I'll check, maybe I'll get that checked out at some point, but not anytime soon because I don't want to know. You know? I mean, yeah, I guess it's too late to, I mean, you can still do something about it, but it's too late to correct the original problem, you know, so I kind of get that. I figured, I figured I healed all right. I can walk and, like, I can run.

Right. I clearly didn't break my bed. I clearly didn't shatter my ankle or nothing. Right. It wasn't like just a complete, like, yeah, break or something to where it's in usable. You can't use anymore. You might have fractured something. You might have had a slight tear of something.

Yeah. You know. It was bad, though. It was like, it was so fucking that, that, that, those three weeks of, like, hobbling around, like a fucking, like a. Success starts with your drive. and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got to an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Fucking Falmer was just awful. Fulmer. But, yeah. You didn't even get crutches or anything? No, I just, I couldn't. I never went to the doctor. I never went to the ER or nothing.

Like, everybody was telling me, you should go. And I was like, yeah, I will. And then I just, I fucking, I never did. Because it was like just, just the thought of leaving at all. Like, I wasn't, I didn't leave my house. I didn't leave my apartment. And just the thought of, like, I got to go, I got to hop down the stairs or, like, hop into, like, the elevator, which is, like, super far away.

got to hobble around in public. You're going to get mugged or something? I'm not going to fucking do that, man. I don't need that. Yeah. Yeah, good shit. Good shit. We'll go...

We'll do one more, and then we'll call it a little day. Hugger Derek, the movie theater manager, and he says, hey there, kings of all kings. What movies are you excited for in the... the coming year. I'm personally excited for Dr. Strange, too, and the Nicholas Cage's, what the fuck is this? The unbearable weight of massive talent, a movie where Nicholas Cage plays Nicholas Cage? Is that real? The unbearable weight of massive talent. That's the most pretentious name for a movie in the world. That's so weird. I was just talking about this earlier about actors playing themselves and shit and like how pretentious that must be. But then I was thinking about that comedy movie. This is. the end where, you know, there was like a spin on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It was like real celebrities, but, like, the world was ending. I never actually saw the whole movie. I just know Emma Watson was in it. And I think Michael Serra slapped her ass or something. There was like some weird fucking thing. Something happened. Yeah. But yeah, it was all those people that came up together.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was pretty, so I wonder if it'll be anything similar like this where he'll be playing himself, been in like a really, what was it called again? What, this movie? The movie? Yeah. This one is the unbearable weight of massive talent.

I'm reading the synopsis right now. It says, Unfulfilled and Facing Financial Ruin, actor Nicholas Cage accepts a $1 million offer to attend a wealthy fan's birthday party. Things take a wildly unexpected turn when a CIA operative recruits Cage for an unusual mission.

Taking on the role of a lifetime, he soon finds himself channeling his most iconic and beloved characters to save himself and his loved ones. that sounds ridiculous and that sounds awesome I am all there's like other Pedro Pascal

famous actors in here but they're not playing I think is Pedro playing himself because he doesn't have like a or maybe it hasn't been cast yet maybe yeah no I don't think he has a no because that's coming out this year it's coming out in April he's like playing himself he's playing a fucking self

yeah and Neil Petro Harris Tiffany Haddish that's so fucking funny I had no idea about this movie So thank you for bringing it to my attention Right Because I'm definitely

It's on my radar now I'm gonna check this trailer out Yeah I'm a big fan of I was actually just thinking about Because I saw a What was it? I think it was like a post or something Elvis the alien

He's kind of obsessed with the With Nicholas Cage a little bit Oh yeah And I saw something today I forgot what it was Because I was just barely skimming social media But it reminded me I was supposed to have a cage night

with my with my my homies back in the day we're gonna get like all the like the best worst Nicholas Cage movies we're gonna invite him to people over watch fucking Nick Nicholas Cage do his thing because he has the his range is fucking insane it's from the worst actor ever to oh this is really good

it's it's quite it's very unusual yeah for an actor to to can can do that to be like I don't know I can't even because it's like you know usually it's just consistently,

oh, people are consistently bad or consistently good. Not him. It's kind of, it's very strange. Yeah. There's a, man,

I don't know. There's, there are podcasts dedicated to Nicholas Cage. I mean, it makes sense. Dude, he's a fucking, he's an anomaly.

There's Into the Cage with, there's Into the Cage, Uncaged, the Cage Club Cage match? Dude, there's so many... That's great. I've not... I don't know.

Like, I haven't seen any of these shows. Maybe they're good, but, like, it's just so funny that, like, like, I don't know any of... I don't think there's, like, the Brian Cranston cast, you know? Right. Despite how good of an actor Brian Cranston is and how great he is. Like, there's no... You're not going to see...

I don't know, you're not going to see a fucking Tyler Perry. ...Cast. Yeah, Tyler... Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry. Yeah, the greatest actors of our generation. Daniel Day Lewis, Brian Granson, and Tyler Pear. That movie would be fucking really something.

I don't even... Oh, man. I can't. The only thing that I've ever seen him in where I didn't want to punch him in the face was he had a cameo in the reboot of Star Trek. And he was just like one of like the higher ups in Starfleet or whatever. that was like just talking shit to Kirk or whatever for cheating on the Kobayashi-Maru test and I was like oh he's like not being a complete piece of shit like or he's not doing that it actually would have been he's like let me let me dress up as a Medea

in this scene I don't know that shit sucks so hard there's so much of it too it's insane like there's so many Medea movies it's like it's like Pokemon It's like you're just trying to, like, how many, how many of them can you catch? How many of them have you collected? And they're, it's not like they, you know, what's funny, too? It's that she's just a character in, like, his cinematic universe. I remember seeing a completely unrelated Tyler Perry movie for some reason. I don't even know why.

I think it was just on. And I was like, what the fuck is this? I was like, curious about it. And then Medea shows up. And I'm like, what the fuck? This isn't a Medea movie? What's going on? It's just, he's just invented this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,

but it's just black people and Medea. It's so weird. Bro. Dude. What? Last week, a Medea movie came out. Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare say that.

That's not fucking real. Wait. I swear to God. Oh, my fucking God. A Medea homecoming came out last week. Oh my God. How many of these are there? That's insane.

That is wild Hold on Medea He keeps going He just keeps going Medea franchise Uh Wiki

Okay Wikipedia Films Probably blazed through The Marvelous Cinematic Universe dude This doesn't This feels like

It's too small Of a list Okay Is Diary of a Mad Black woman There's Medea's Family reunion Meet the Browns

Medea goes to jail I can do bad All by myself Medea's big Happy family Medea's witness protection A Medea

Christmas. Boo. A Medea Halloween. Boo, too, a Medea Halloween. It's not even boo a Medea Halloween, too. Fucking. A Medea family funeral and a Medea homecoming. These movies are respectively, 2005, 2006, 2006, 2008,

2009, 2009 again, 2011, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2016, 2016, 2017, 2019, 2022. Wild. Dude, I had no idea there was this many.

Like, I think they crushed the MCU and still going strong before the MCU because the guy of a mad black woman was mid-2000s,

fucking Iron Man was 2008. Yeah, I mean, the play. The fuck out of here. Because he was doing plays before that, right? Because like,

there's plays, like all these movies. These are just the plays but movies. Like, actually, for real, like I can do

Bad Diary of Mad Black Woman, Medea's Family Reunion, Medea goes to jail. All of his movies are just remakes of his plays, except for the fucking Christmas specials and Halloween ones, I guess. But I can't believe how many. There's an animated film? Medea's tough love is animated. I have to see this. Oh my God, Medea goes to jail. I'm going to be so upset if it actually looks like it's not.

Oh, my. God. I got to look it up too now. Oh my God. It looks like Nutshack a little bit. I can't get Nutshack. I can bring out about Nut check. It's the Nutshack.

This is so weird. It looks like, no. Why does it look like recess? Oh my God. It does look like it looks. Dude, is it animated by the same people? Bro, it does look like recess. It looks exactly like fucking.

It just is black recess. This is insane. What the hell am I seeing? Well, it looks, oh, okay, it looks a little bit more like standard flash animated. It looks like if recess was animated today, this is how it would look. You know, like, kind of like, bland colors and just sort of like everything's like stiff. But how sad is it that this doesn't even look nearly as bad as some of the stuff that I've seen on animated television recently? Have you seen that Fairview show that Stephen Colbert executive produces?

No. Oh, my God. audience look up Fairview Comedy Central you will not believe how disgusting that show looks

it's like these bobbleheads and they have no hands and feet and they got like Powerpuff Girl I don't even but they got these like photorealistic bitmoji faces What is what is this?

It's Fairview from Stephen Colbert I like how the third if you type that in if you type in Fairview Comedy Central the third thing that pops up is fucking Sabre Spark

Comedy Central has officially hit rock bottom this is a fucking video just shitting on it and then it's just all clips I don't even want to watch it I don't even want to watch it like just looking at the thumbnails I'm like I'm good on this

Yeah, no, it's even uglier in person, but... Wow. Yeah, that's, it's a... It's a rough situation out there. I don't understand how we don't have a job of Comedy Central, man. What I mean is it seems so easy to get bullshit greenlit. Yeah, how the fuck, how can we just... We can...

Our fucking, like, let us do a skit show, an animated skit show with fucking pizza time and all the other dumb shit that we talk about. And it would do better. I bet we could do a... badass animated, like, kind of podcast series, like the Ricky Jervais show. Because that last, you saw that last Snark Tank animated, right? That, uh, uh, uh, oh my God, I'm, uh, ergomancer. Ergomancy.

Ergomancy. Eaglemancy. Yeah, yeah. Ergomancy. You're right. Ergomancy. That video is incredible. And that, that, that video is like, it reminds me a lot of like the Ricky Jervais

podcast show, you know, where they just animated segments of the podcast and just made it. just made it funny. Like, that video that Ergmancy did is way, way funnier than whatever the fuck this is. And I'm not saying that based off of how it looks. I've actually seen an episode of this show. It's really bad. It's not even to say that we are particularly amazing. It's just to say that if they have a show, we should have a show.

That's what I'm saying. I'm totally with you on that. If that's the quality bar, then we've, we pass, I think. I don't even think that's overconfident to say. I think it's just basic reality. Like, this is a terrible show. And I can't believe Stephen Colbert even remotely attached his name to this on purpose. Success starts with your drive.

An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. That is staggering. Strange. I mean, it just seems he became a late-night Jimmy kind of person, his brain-melted. I don't know.

Yeah. I used to have just an immense amount of respect for the dude. Yeah. He didn't seem like he would do something. something like this, but it's probably a good cash grab. John Stewart's still really cool, though. Like, every time I see him pop up in the news, he's always got like this really like, oh, yeah, some, it's like a common sense opinion that like, oh yeah, I remember what that

was like when people had that regularly. Do you think he would have remained cool if, say, he would have taken, like, a late night job? No. No, I think, I think very few, I think very few people can come out of late night. and still be funny and genuine be. I think Conan O'Brien is one of those people who, like, he came out of late night

and, like, he remained funny the whole time. Like, I mean, late night is its own thing. It's like, if you don't like late night comedy, you're not going to like, you're not going to like fucking Conan or anything. But who else is there? I think, like, he's the only one that I can think of. I'm like, oh, yeah, Conan's cool. I respect Conan.

Yeah, it's just Conan. Conan also started a podcast, like, way before everybody else. and like he just like he's always he embraced YouTube before everybody else like he understood like right and even just like he has a whole series where he just on his show when it was on

when it was when it was airing where he would just go to people in his office like his employees or whatever and just harass them and like make them make them the star it wasn't it wasn't always about like oh let's oh I'm James Corden I'm James Corden I'm gonna fucking do a I'm gonna lip sink in my car with Miley

Cyrus and fucking Vladimir Putin's ex-wife. And it's like just this weird social climby bullshit where it's like, oh, here's like a bunch of famous people and I'm doing cool shit with him. He would always just take his employees or his like assistance to these random places and just make them uncomfortable. And it was great content. Anything that Conan O'Brien does with Jordan Schlansky, who is like his one of his producers and Sona something.

I can't remember her name, but like his assistant. it's all great, great late night comedy because it's just not this masturbatory celebrity jerkoff fest and he's apparently got a show on HBO Max that's apparently in the works because his Conan show they stop airing it because it's on TBS

and nobody watches cable anymore but... Right. And I'm interested in that because I just I think he's one of the few people who's actually like genuinely funny outside of a show 100%. He's a great podcast too.

Like Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend is actually really great. Like the people he has on and the conversations he has. One of the few times. Everybody, everyone respects him too. Like it says everyone's,

I've never, I've literally, you've never heard anybody saying anything bad about about Conan. Yeah. And you, and you,

if you say this, the same thing about other, like say late night or anyone else, you can't say that about any of them, any of them. No. No one's,

no one's going to be like, man, people are way too hard on Jimmy Fallon. Like that sentence has never been said by anyone. I can't get... How does he look permanently nervous? Like, I hate it. Like, I hate his face, man.

Like, he just, he always just looks like he's like, I don't know what I'm doing. Even though, like, he's, he clearly has a script and a fucking, there's, there's teleprompters or whatever. But he just always looks like, I don't know what's happening. He looks like the show's out of his control. I just hate looking at them So let me get this right So you're telling me you and Bella Hadid Jumped off of the World Trade Center together

Is that right? And he just laughs the whole fucking time He's so annoying God damn, I hate him I mean I hate his presence I don't know the guy Like I Right, same same

I internet hate him You know as much as you can As much as you can hate a person who has done nothing to you personally. Yeah. But anyway, that's, I guess that's, that's gonna be it for us today.

It was a pretty lively episode. Hopefully Sweeney will make it back without holes in his body. I don't know. Doubt. I doubt it. X to doubt. I don't know why that, I don't know why that image, for some reason, okay, bizarre association there.

I had the image of that L.A. Noir character with the X to doubt popped into my head. And then immediately for no reason, it, it segued into a thought about that brass against the machine lead singer pissing on that person on stage. I don't know. I don't know why. It is funny though that I don't know That's weird as shit That is weird Makes no sense I have no explanation

I am following her on I am following her on Instagram And I cannot see a picture of her And not immediately think about her Pissing On that guy That's that's her

She's She's piss against the machine Now Yeah she It's just her Piss against the machine I like that is like a name like a title or something.

That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Anyway, fucking goddammit. Oh my god. If you liked what you heard today, consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes. My solo episode is recorded.

Sweeney's episode is recorded. They are on the docket. Sweenies will be out first because I want to do, I want to do some tweaks to mine. And because I want to, I've gotten more. more questions and I just feel like I could just add more to it. So Sweeney's will be out this month. And then I say probably at the beginning of next month, mine will be out.

And so that's the update on those for those curious. $5 gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment and you're in for good. And $25 gets your name dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will do now. Yeah, you got to count me down. Yeah.

Because Sweeney's not. Three. A two. A one. I'm a sign language student, and Sweene is bad at sign language. Putting this dick in your ass. That's really clever. The nerd therapist. Daniel Ocean. Tevin de Black, the guy who met Keith David dressed as a plague doctor at CreepyCon.

9-11 was the world's biggest Jenga game. Who would win? 30 Marine trained gorillas versus one kangaroo with ultra-instinct Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick-A-Dick-A-Dick-A-Lodian. The King of Hapazard is dead. You're stealing money from a dead man. The Skybass still trucking through horizon.

Back alley and pass dealer. Kauai in the streets, Subirashi in the sheets. Sweeney, listen, it's not, it's no, well, you, okay, I auto-corrected your name for you, but I'm going to read it as you wrote it. Sweeney, listen, it's not longer 1922. Stop doing Blackface. You could have just got in there and got rid of the T. It's free of charge.

It's not like Xbox Live in 2008, where you have to pay $10 to change your name. You fucked up. Kameha Meha, Saint Maxi. Can you please get my friend Brandon to pay his taxes? He's literally evading them. This isn't a joke. Help. Talos Valcaran, Apothecari of the First Claw, 10th Company, 8th Legion.

All-Sawal. Okay, you said it right. the tale of Mega Man X8 guy and the question Patreon hides from the Star Tank Boys featuring Dante from Devil May Cry series Avi, I became a patron and spent $25 not to be able to come up

with a clever name, wage slave 583, cumsicle, Stephen where's the brandy? I once went a week and a half without shitting and really plugged up the toilet. God bless you. Wow, that's pretty impressive. Yeah. That's, I can't help you.

Dead inside Shrincus Funkledunk The Warlock who is using Transversive Steps Proas I challenge the other Connor King to a fight to the death

There can only be one Sweeney It's okay My girlfriend isn't real either I have PPSD Ryber 525 In the mystery of the sudden uptick And tomboy appreciation

Racist snake It's about dick It's about dick Men are from Dick But I'm from Dick Put it in the dick Spank him in the dick And take what's dick

That's excellent That's excellent That is better than my bullshit. I like it. That's a good one. That is the that's the shining one today. The Vex simulations are back.

Hide your kids. Hide your husbands. Tell them Steve Dave. Andre Brooks, Antifis Maximus, the host of Mussolini's Pignata Party. God is dead because Travis Scott killed him. John Strickland, Big Boo Sniggins, Merck's 1889, Downie McFrownie,

NFT of Sweeney's imaginary girlfriend. I got hit by a stoop... What? I got hit by a string op during a funeral and I'm pissed. Goops McKenzie. Owhaha. I'm a little bitch. I'm the king of the Jews. All right. What? I'm just, listen, I'm just reading.

Drunken Doolahan, pre-Raz. Okay, on to page two. Breaking Benjamin Shapiro. Come, man, the man of come. Wheeler's Day Off. Blake 896. Mario spreading his asshole live on Twitch while watching Master Chef. The Epic Oshawa, the whitest Cracker. Fucking Kill Me. Hey, Boss Bar. I know two of you left.

Ryan Luchesse, Schlaashi Scout, the Egyptian name, Emo Tep is pronounced in my honest opinion tep. Oh my God. Stupid. That's so dumb. That's so dumb.

That's like a dad joke that a dad isn't hip enough to understand. You know? Like, oh man. You should open with that open mic. Yeah. Yeah. Can you fucking imagine?

Oh, my God. I would shoot him. Riu is. Hokey, the ghost of the quartering shit-covered bridges laid to rest in a Walmart trash can. The Russian warship, go fuck yourself. Yeah, that was a crazy fucking... Nice. You saw that?

Oh, yeah, man. The fucking... Insane. Badass. Snake Island or whatever? Yeah, I think it's what I said. It's just like really close to Wake Island, which is a battlefield map, a little weird. I thought it was Shadow Moses, to be honest. Shadow Moses

Hard hats Russian skydye Hard hat skydiver Pittsburgh bagel Alaskin oil field trash Marcus Shorten Vladdy Put it in spanking Ukrainian Octogenarians

Game Controller 25 Nicky Ziggi murder ascended Really weird how they just uploaded an entire episode of silence For episode 100 And keep talking about it Like it was an actual episode Lobotomized Jesus

And his merry band of figure Nuggets One meter long fetus The only stick I touch while driving Is my penis parentheses I master me while driving Hiroshima spicy mushrooms Dummy thick Dave

I give it a 9.5 out of 10 That's a pretty nice cock Sweeney's clown pussy goes honk honk Yominy, yummy yummy yummy yummy come inside my tummy Jackson Absege Badly Brave hugger Derek the movie theater manager Aetherian Chris Gate my Pagirian hunting ass

All hands on dick The best episodes of the snark tank Are the ones where Derek is gone I don't like Derek Fuck you You me He's no way that's He's just trying to fuck with you

I recognize the picture I'll find that you Man, the saddest words of tongue or pen Alex Jones was right again. I don't know, Richter 86. And as always, King of Hapazard, who has not changed his name, who I'm getting really concerned about. Bro, you gotta, you gotta fucking, you gotta, this is our only way to communicate with you, bro. You gotta change your name. What if he's alive and he just skips like the end?

He's like, you know, what if he's just one of those, he's like, yeah, I've heard it. Honestly, it would make sense. Because, like, I don't know how many people stick through it to the end of these, but I can't imagine it's the majority of people. It's credit. It's the people that, like, change their names to clever shit, you know, hoping that we react to the name. Yeah, yeah. But he never changes it, so what's the point? I'm going to open the show.

Or he's fucking dead. Or he's dead. Yeah, I'm going to open the show next week. That's a good idea. With his name. I'm going to be like, hey, welcome to the Star Tank. King of haphazard, if you're listening to us, you know, do something. So we know you're safe.

But anyway, that's going to be it for us today. I did want to mention something really quickly. It might take me a second to find, so Derek, if you might, there's pretty much no editing that's required in this entire episode, but at the end here, it might take me a second. I'll just occupy the time, so I don't have to touch anything, you know. So, uh, yeah, how about that war, huh? I mean, it's pretty crazy.

Fucking, if Kyiv is taken over, then it's going to be crazy. And like, my, uh, my hot, hot-ass lady is over in Lithuania all freaking out, you know, because she's in one of the Baltic states that, you know, could be all fucked up and shit. But, uh, you know, as long as she stays diligent and doesn't get caught up in that bullshit, you know, She does have several guns. She's got some stinger missiles, too. She only has two stinger missiles. But it's enough to, like, you know,

maybe if there's a helicopter, or maybe there's, like, a metal gear around, you just shoot it with the stinger missile, you know? Because the Russians have metal gears, right? If I remember correctly. Yeah, they all have that shit. Yeah, so, okay. Okay.

But, yeah, hopefully she's safe and everything is good. You got it? Yeah, I got it. Sorry about that. I had to make sure the URL worked. So we'll mention this again, because luckily tickets are not sold out yet, but we'll mention this again at the start of the next episode. I keep forgetting.

But I assume because it's been set on the Patreon, a lot of the people who are interested in coming have gotten their tickets. But if you haven't, if you go to tiny URL.com slash sacred 200, there are tickets there for our live show. We are going to be doing a live episode of the podcast. I'm going to be doing two. I'm going to be doing Sacred Symbols and Snark Tank, but we are opening with Snark Tank.

We're doing a whole hour show, interacting with you guys in person, taking your questions live, and having some fun with the audience in person. Over in Richmond, Virginia, the tickets are for sale right now. I think there are still a decent number left. but they're still for sale, so obviously there's some left.

So go to tiny URL.com slash sacred 200. And if you're interested in that, we'll see you over in Richmond on April 30th. Let's fucking go. And that's it, goodbye. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band. Can we become robots?

Affirmative. Can we go crab battle? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal.

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