The Snark Tank - #11: Top Tier Television

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

Was the Sonic movie great? Why does Michael Bloomberg insist on pretending to be a human being? Would Chris, Derrick, and Sweeny ever become e-bois and show some skin on OnlyFans? Why do Americans watch child beauty pageants outside of Epstien's house parties? Are we alcoholics? Probably. Why is Spongebob more iconic than the Simpsons? All this and more on this unusually political episode of The Snark Tank!  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. I'm Chris Raygun. I'm Tom Sweeney. Hey, guys. It's Derek Blackman. How you doing? I love you all. So this is a conversational comedy podcast funded by all of you,

sad wretched husks over at patreon.com slash a snart tank. I just want to say thanks to everybody who's been supporting us. The show keeps growing, and the Patreon's continuing to grow, which is like insane, which means we're going to be able to start doing the video podcast soon as long as we got this whole thing set up. Yep, yep. So keep at it. Keep sending us all of your money that could be better spent on food. Hand it over. Just hand it over.

Hand it over. We're not robbing you, really. This is your choice. No, we're telling you to give it to us. And if you don't do it, we'll violence you. Okay, well, that's robbing. That's a mug. No, that's a threat.

There's a threat, but doesn't have to be a threat. They don't do what I say, right? Very subtle. Yeah. They're not actually in danger. It's just the implication. It's just the implication. Implied violence is always the best.

Good Lord. Like, I'm not making a threat, but. Be sure to leave us, be sure to leave us some nice reviews on iTunes that helps a ridiculous amount. You actually have no idea how, like, important that is. Yeah, especially on iTunes. That's like, that's the algorithm game on iTunes. It's like you get good reviews, and that means something, apparently.

They'll boost you other people might see. something like that. We appreciate it. Dude, I've been reading so many comments on the YouTube uploads, and they're all like, there's so many comparisons to this show to Sleepy Cabin, which is awesome. So for those you don't know, there are some people, I'm sure, who don't. Sleepy Cabin was Zach and Mix, and like a lot of the old Newgrounds animators.

They had like the show called Sleepy Cabin. And the fact that we're being compared to them is awesome. Like, that's like the best praise. Those guys, me. Those guys, man. That show was absurd. That podcast was like one of my favorites. So I'm glad to get that comparison.

We were supposed to see the Sonic movie. Sweeney did. Yeah, I saw it. And we kind of, we kind of, I feel like we just came to the natural conclusion that it's not that interesting. It's not bad, but it's not good. There's nothing about it worth talking about, really.

I wish it was really, really, really bad. Because if it was really bad, I would have had a fucking fantastic time seeing that movie. This is what I was saying about like the old design. Like I was, I wish. I'm sad that they fixed it because I feel like it would have been so much more of a visceral cluster fuck. The old design literally gave me chills. Like there's.

The teeth were something. The teeth especially. The teeth of his calves, he just, he looked. He had calves? He had a really strong, built toned cowls. He looked like actually a hedgehog and a human fucked each other and produced that a front. It was pretty grotesque. I always wonder about that stuff

how it's even approved. I really do. I always wonder about that. Yeah, really baffling. I feel like anybody on that. I bet a lot of the animators were like, this does not look right. And then like, I bet there was just like a design board that said, this is focus tested. This works. People want realism. I would. And they were like, I don't, I don't.

Okay, we'll do it. We'll put it out there. Yeah. I don't understand, man. I still, I need to know about this. This is like a documentary. I want there to be like a thing about everything that's been like a disaster where it's clearly, it's like not even just objectively just an abomination. Like cats?

Yeah. The fact that even one of the hands wasn't fully animated. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How does that happen? A hand of one of the cats was animated entirely? So they're supposed to be like fully cat people. But like I think there's one scene in the original run of cats before they did all the, before they did the patch.

They patched this movie They patched in the fucking movie Where Judy Dench Her hand is just a human Fucking hand Because they just didn't They just didn't do the special effects on it You can see her wedding ring and everything

Like with the production That big I wonder about that stuff I understand when YouTubers do it I've had a couple of jump cut errors Where I've left in There was one thing where I was kind of sick And then I was looking at these notes off screen

I went like that Just leaned off And then I sniffed as I was looking at my notes And someone was like, did you just take like a bump of Coke? Like, we were like, what the fuck was that? And it's still up there. I forgot what year that was. But that happens.

Yeah. It's just one person, me editing at three in the fucking morning versus an entire studio. It's just interesting. Millions. It's fascinating to me. Like, anytime I see an error like that, like even just the mummy trailer when they did the mummy trailer and like they lost all the audio in it. And they did the same thing with the men in black international trailer, actually. I didn't see that.

They lost the audio for that one also. So they basically, they just had the folly. It was just like the people screaming and, like, shouting, but no music and no sound effects. How does that happen? Dude, I don't know. I don't know where money goes, man. I don't know who takes it. I don't know who runs up.

Well, I'll tell you where it went in the case of cats. It went to licensing that Broadway musical. And paying a lot of the actors. And paying all of those ridiculously for no good reason. No good reason. Like, what is Jason DeRue? What the fuck is Jason Derulo? They had Jason DeRulele.

in there, they had Idris Elba, who was worth so much money now. Like, it's Judith Dens. Ian McKell and I think was in there? It's just so much money. Like, it was like, yo, I thought it was going to be a great movie. I was like, this is just so much star power. Do you remember movie? It would be.

Do you remember movie 43? I do. It was so bad. I liked it, though, but it was really bad. It was so terrible, but I enjoyed it. I don't know why. I saw when I was much younger. I saw it was much younger, but I definitely, I definitely laughed my ass off when I watched.

I thought it was interesting. The fact that there was like so many stars. listers doing that weird fucking sketches. I was like, what in the what? It was just a huge shitpost, basically. Yeah. It was just a shitpost to the movie industry. Success starts with

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That was like 2008 or something? No. It was definitely later than that. Maybe 2011, I think. Yeah, it was definitely later. I think I was in high school when it came out. It wasn't in 2008. 2012.

Okay. 2013. 2013. Jesus, I was surprised. I wasn't done much younger. That was going to be my next guess. Because I know 2012 was when I was like, Netflix is like this is like I've had Netflix since 2010 I got Netflix because

under the red hood was on it yeah and I was like oh oh yeah we're fucking doing this old school Netflix was a shit dude like back in like 2008 when like anything was on like you can find any type of shit on Netflix that was back when you had to get it mailed to you though 2008 100 2008 no no 2008 did convert yeah they were stream digital really yeah I started coming out around that time not really no probably like a year or two later in 2008 like that's like a year or two later in 2008 like that To me, 2010 is when that show started coming out. No, that's when they had.

But 2008, definitely Netflix was streaming because I was actually living in Arizona at the time. And I had to tell my mother, because my mother's been using Netflix for fucking forever. And I was like, mom, you can stream this shit now. You don't have to mail in. And she was like, fuck out of here. So I set it up on her PS3. And I remember around that same time, I was playing. So it might have been 2009 at this point, 2008, 2009 when Resident Evil 5 came out.

It was one of those years. That was my game. And, oh, I loved it. loved, um, Sheva. Oh, Sheva's fucking, you don't even get me started, man. I'm going to get a little bit of blood of my dick right now. Don't even get me started. But yeah, my mom was looking at that game.

She's like, this looks so real. And I'm like, man, the generational gap of, because this is not look real to me. Look impressive, obviously. Like, PS3, those graphics, that looked impressive. That looked impressive. That did not look real to me at all. Yeah. I could tell it was fake. Yeah, I mean, what, PS3?

Yeah, like, say like, Resident Evil 5, look at the graphics. You're like, okay, that's impressive. It looks nice. But it doesn't look, you know, like, oh, I can't tell what you're or not, but my parents, my mom, was like, wow, that looks real. Like, you know, like, uh, because they have nothing to compare it to. I guess they're just like, wow. It's a real world to compare it to in television.

Yeah, but like they're looking at like a video game and they're like, that looks way better than I remember video games looking. Yeah. Because probably they remember video games as like fucking Pac-Man and shit. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yo, yeah, I always trip about, I always trip out on, uh, the 1930s King Kong. If you look at that thing, that is the silliest fucking thing you'll ever see, right?

Yeah. I don't know what he's supposed to be. That's not a gorilla. It's a King Kong. I've seen gorillas a lot. It's not a gorilla, idiot. It's a Kong. Kong's a gorilla.

No, it's a gorilla. You dumb, dumb. No, no, King Kong is a Kong. You stupid O. So are there other Kong and that's King Kong? Yeah, that's King Kong. So that's Donkey Kong's great uncle? King Kong?

No, Donkey Kong was the donkey of the Kong. The donkey of a, okay. So Diddy's the Diddy's the Dizzy of the Kong's. We don't talk about Diddy, really, because that doesn't fit so well into my narrative. Oh. But. Can we all take a moment to understand that Diddy Kong is a chimpanzee with a tail that has a gun that shoots peanuts? He has a gun?

That's right. He has a peanut pop gun because he's a fucking criminal. He's a little criminal kid who just wants to cause trouble. A lot of those Nintendo characters got something about him that I don't appreciate. All of them do. Yoshi is definitely like a terrorist in every single way that I could view him. I feel like Yoshi just starts street fights

knowing that he's a well-trained fighter and beats the fuck out of people. He's born with boots. That is so disgusting. He hops out of his egg with boots. We legitimately talked about this. I know, but it's like it's just fucking upsetting. Like, I don't like it.

I still think about that. When I see Yoshi, I still think about how that's how boots are made. Yeah, we aborted Yoshi's. That's fucking hilarious, Dude, I still think about, when I see Yoshi, I was playing Sonic 2 with the Yoshi mod, and I just couldn't help but think of that. Of course you were. Of course you're playing Sonic 2 of the Yoshi Mon. Of course you.

What the fuck is that? I know. I want to go fast as Yoshi. You know, the modding community is a bunch of fucking disturbed Frankensteins. Like, just like I want to make left for dead, but it's fucking Banjo Cazui and it's all prostitutes from Grandinth Auto. Like what do you do? People just have people just like Freedom is not good for us

Like I don't like I don't know what to say Like when we get too much freedom We just lose our mind Do you know that Do you know that PlayStation 4 game dreams The Media Molecule game? No no I don't It's by the guys who made a little big planet

It's been in development for like a really long time We talk about it a lot on the on the PlayStation podcast But it came out recently It's got great reviews but it's like one of those games Where it's like all about making your own games And stuff So it's kind of like not been getting a lot of marketing attention because how the fuck do you even market that to your average person?

But I saw this one thing in dreams where it was just the Joker dance on the stairs. So you could just play as the Joker dancing down the stairs to that fucking song. Oh my God. I'm like what the fuck. Why are people like this? Why do people do this? Is that the same thing where, because I remember something was happening with, I think it was like a silent hill with, with, with, with, Norman Reedis.

Norman Redis? Is that his name? Yeah. Like, I remember seeing something like you could make games and I don't know if it was that. Like it's something because I know this was, it had to be like a couple years ago.

Oh, PT. You're talking about the playable teaser, right? Oh, that is? The Guillermo del Toro, Norman Redis. I guess I'm just, dude, I'm just, I'm mixing shit up then. Yeah. That was like a big thing.

Silent Hills got canceled. Yeah, I got. Oh, so that was like, supposed to be a real thing. I thought that was some like fan bullshit. No, that was a real thing. Oh, I don't know. It was awesome.

Like the demo was amazing. That was a terrifying thing, right, that I saw play and got scared. What? That was that actual terrifying game, right? Yeah, PT was not a joke. That's when you were walking through the house and the bitch is behind you sometimes. Yeah. I played that game and that shit fucked me up for it.

I don't get scared of anything. PT is fucked because that was a demo that came out and now you cannot get it anywhere. They just, Konami straight up, ripped it from the store. Yeah. The only way to get your hands on it is to play it on a PlayStation that downloaded it before it was taken off. And those go for like a lot of money now. Yeah, I imagine. It's insane.

Yeah. It's a collector's item. I fuck me up. Let's get into some questions. Let's get into the news. Please. Jose Horach. I still don't know how to pronounce this.

Horach. Horich. How fucking cathartic was it to see Bloomberg get mollywapped in the Nevada debate? I don't know if you've been seeing. Have you seen that video of him getting fucking reamed? He was getting gang bang, bro. I have never seen somebody pay so much money to get. just destroyed on stage in front of millions.

That's a massacist shit. Yeah, it really is. I think, I don't like Warren at all. I hate her, but she gave it to him. She gave him the stiff one. She really fucking slapped his act.

I kept seeing hashtag finish him. I was like, dude, I almost felt bad for him. Almost. I didn't feel bad. Because I'm like, bro, he,

he thought that Trump got his attention only because he's rich. He's like, I can do that. I have a ton of money. I'm rich. Trump's a loudmouth shit talker. That's, I think that's been a shtick for like forever. Yeah. So Bloomberg, thinking that, oh, I'm just going to throw money and I'm going to do well. And everyone came out. They went hard on the pain. And let me, I want to say kudos to the guy saying Molly Wop. You must be from New England. Oh, yeah. Because they said it back home too.

Yeah, that's the only people from in that area. North. Yeah, the East Coast. I was like, that dude. That was that, that, he definitely. He definitely. Definitely did get Mollywop. It was pretty funny. It was so, it was so entertaining that I had it looped. I was playing video games and I had that clip looped on the background on my computer just because, like,

I couldn't get enough of it. I can't believe they all put their bullshit aside and jumped him. That's some fucking, that's some Avengers shit. That's like the symbol goes off and everybody's like, all right, together. The thing about it is like, the second he was like, the second he was like, the second like, you're done, dude, you're done. Oh, yeah.

Walk off the stage. Just walk off. No one would blame you. I would applaud you for that. I don't respect that you understand. How are you going to go up there? Like, yeah, I had women sign NDAs. And his excuse was like, oh, they just didn't like a joke.

They didn't like a joke. Now, listen, I'm going to tell you guys straight up. I've said plenty of jokes that plenty of people did not like. And I have never felt a need for an NDA for an NDA for any of them. This can escape. Please sign this before you leave this house. Yeah. Yeah.

I've made jokes about children. I remember not that long ago you saying you wanted to fight, like you wanted to beat up a kid. Yeah. And I asked you why. And you said because they're weak. Yeah, that's an easy win. Yeah. And those are one of those things that.

That's not that offensive. You can get away with that and like everybody loves that. You can totally get away with it. But I mean it. That's the difference. People are joking about it. Like if you fight a kid, like if you're having a bad day and you fight a kid, you got to feel good. Like, wow, I just beat this smaller creature up and it had no chance.

That's the fucking pecking order of the universe. So you mean it. Like, when you say I'm going to, when you say I want to beat up a kid, you mean like that like literally. Semantics. Remember last time how you were talking about how good of a person you were? I have a good heart somewhere in here. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

I feel like, see, this is the problem. Like people like Bloomberg that have money and shit. See, I feel like you two are on the same like wavelength, right? Okay. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. But see, you don't have the resources. to do this shit.

I imagine Bloomberg has done a lot of fucked up shit. That's why NDAs were signed. And there's a lot of people like the people that would hang out with like Epstein and shit. And I don't mean like, I just mean that there's people that are, they have the resources to act out those fantasies. And thank goodness, you don't have that. Dude, man. Bloomberg was in Epstein's Black Book. Yeah, he was.

That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. If I was on that state, I don't understand why. Like, here's the thing that I still don't like. Dude, it's literally objectively is a cover-up. The thing that I don't like about debates. Success starts with your drive.

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I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan. America's Large Injury Law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Right. Is that nobody seems to really go for the jugular ever. And it really bothers me. I think Trump was really the only person to really do that. And even then, it was kind of like, it was not pretty milk toast. I'm like, where is the person on stage being like, why was, why is Bloomberg in Jeffrey Epstein's black book?

Yeah. Where's that person? I want that person on stage laughing as he's pointing at Bloomberg being like, this dude's in a pedophile's close friends. He's in his fucking MySpace top eight. He's in his fucking favorite. Are we just going to forget about that? That guy has a fucking shortcut to his phone number.

He presses a nine on his phone and it instantly calls him. I want somebody up there to just be like, I would spit on Bloomberg if it wasn't disrespectful to my own spit. I just want somebody to be up there, just be mean as shit. Well, see, that's the thing that's what people want, especially the people that, especially let's say the people on the left that are very passive. And they're very, they're infuriated that Bloomberg would even dare to try to co-op the movement or anything. Yeah, yeah.

They want fire and fury. They want that shit. What did Trump say what he was going to do to fucking Korea? What did he say like fire? I think it said fire and fury. He did like a fucking Dennis Reynolds always sunny speech about him. He was like, I will rain fire upon you the likes of which no mortal man has ever seen. Or it's like something crazy like that.

Like that's insane. Some zeal it. I want that. I want, like, I want real passion. I want to be like, hey, Bloomberg, fuck you. Like, straight up. Like, the first thing they even say, like, you're asked a question that has nothing to do with them. But the first thing you do is turn to him and say, I just need to get this out of the way.

Like, fuck you, fuck your mother. And like, go away. Dying a hole. Here's my proposal. People are coming after you, and I'm not, that's not a threat. That's a statement. People are coming after you. You know what I would do?

It would make me pay a hell of a lot more attention. Like, this motherfucker's going to get shit done and they're not going to take shit. And that's what people feel about. This person is dangerous. I'd like that. This person's not to be fucked with because he just warned him about a threat that's coming his way. I don't know how he found out about that threat. I don't know, man.

Bloomberg is so easily like unlikable. Like everything about he looks, because the thing is like what Trump is like a billionaire and he's like out of touch. But he's also like charismatic and loud and like bombastic. Yeah. Whereas like Bloomberg is just out of touch and unlikable. Yeah. Like there's nothing about him. Like he could like I was talking to some friends the other day.

It's like, oh, he could. He could just fight. He could just fight back. But it's like, no, he can't because he just doesn't have that. in him. That's not part of his personality. And if he changes, it's going to be obvious that he's made that shift to appeal to people, whereas Trump's just been this way for as long as I can fucking remember. Even like when I was a kid, you know when I was a kid, I remember like he's that guy who just says you're fired and insults people on TV. His entire brand is that, like

abrasive. Yeah. And that's all like he, he had a fan base before he became president. He had a huge fan base. It was very easy. I can, it's, I, I, I always imagine. imagine how many people feel with people that really don't like him now how they felt about um i remember even a seventh grade um shit that was you know probably like 2001 or something oof and uh i didn't really know who the fuck don't trump was i didn't even know who he was in like home loan too i was just like who fuck's that guy yeah um i remember my friend josh was like yeah man like i want to be like don't trump i was like the fuck you know i just even all the way back then and i remember nelly like you know uh let me in now bill geeks don't trum let me i remember here i'm like fucking don't trump i'm like And I had to, like, look and see what's going on with this guy. I had so much influence. I didn't know that shit. Yeah. And so I understand him having that.

Bloomberg is just a complete moron. Bloomberg, it was the mayor of New York. Yeah. I'm from New York City. And stop and frisk was one of that guys. Well, he was the seven first guy, but he was also the dude who was like, I want to ban big gulps. Yeah. He wanted to ban soda.

He wanted to ban, like, huge, like, wild. Yeah, because, like, obesity was such a problem. Which, you know, it's validity in this point. Like, just, dude, that's no validity in banning a soda. Not banning a soda, ban, like the idea of how big those drinks were and how unhealthy they were. I understand that. But banning that one kind of soda was just stupid. It was like, that's not how you go about it.

It was just banning a size. Yeah, I think. If I remember correctly, he was just banning a size of soda that you can buy. Yeah. But you could still buy two smaller ones. Smaller ones that added up to the same. Like, he wasn't, it was nothing. He's an idiot.

Yeah. Oh, totally. I mean, it's, it's, that's the dumbest thing he could have possibly done, obviously. You shouldn't have been there. You don't belong here. Dude, even Biden. Even Biden was laying into him. Biden is half asleep and his brain probably doesn't even show up to the same place that he shows up to.

And he was fucking Chun Lee kicking him. Joe Biden reminds me of Mermaid Man. Like he didn't remind me like, evil. Evil. He's just, it's just barely any of him left. The person that was there before the fucking pillar. is gone. That's so good.

That's awesome. That is accurate. It really is, man. He's fading fast. Big side. I'm pre- Michael Bloomberg. Evil.

Oh, man. He's fucking dead. He's dead. He's dead. We killed him. He's dead. Yeah. We got a question here that I think kind of vaguely ties into this.

Aloof, a.k.a. Ransom. If you guys had to divide the U.S. into two countries. A-M-M-A-M-A-M-A-A, where would you draw the border between the two? Right after the East Coast ends would be A-M-A-M-A-M-A. Right, like just past is B-M-A-M-A-Ress.

What if we... No, no, no, there's no other what-if. That's it. That's it for me. No more. Well, we could do, like, a multiple border thing. We could take the good parts. Because, like, we have Alaska's technically the U.S.,

even though they're separated by two borders. Oh, you know what I mean? Oh, he's thinking. All right, all right. I would take The state of New York I would take So you guys like the tri-state

So it's a package state area Yeah we'll do the tri-state area Yeah It's package deal And then I would That's America The rest of it's The rest of the country

Is America Except for San Diego I think Colorado is like The shit right Yeah Colorado's though So I kind of want to Just That's only America

Isn't that where the volcano is? Where's Yellowstone Yellowstone? Yellowstone is in as in uh as in uh i think it is Wyoming is Wyoming yeah Yellowstone's in Wyoming it's in one of those you know the states that no one ever goes to

yeah yeah it's in one of the is it the size of the whole isn't it like gigantic like it's a super volcano like the whole yellowstone thing like that's why the hot springs and everything so the people the funny thing is it took a while for people to notice that it was a super volcano like oh one one day this is going to erupt and kill everyone in America oh well

whatever you know when you die you die yeah i think we can be i think we'll be i think we I would be... Humanity would be fine. America probably wouldn't be fine. Oh, America would be done. And then it would be... Actually, it would probably be the entire world

because the eruption would go into the atmosphere. No, it's just a volcano. It wouldn't be the whole world, but it would be like a lot... It'd be like the planet would get very cold. I'm very fast. I'm pretty sure the explosion would block out the sun for a while, so it would fuck everything up for a while.

No harvesting. Unless by that time, everything is so artificial that people are living on the ground, like fucking... Things are already artificial. Like we can clone meat now. You know, like, we don't need... I'm pretty sure there's a clone of me out there. I'm pretty sure I've seen it.

Yeah. I should have seen my clone. It's like, what the fuck? This was pretty, this was pretty, um, borderline racist, I guess. Uh, so, uh, Corey Taylor, the singer Slippna, his son, uh, he's a fan. He's a fan.

And he, he, he sent me, uh, an Instagram video or a picture or something like, oh, no, it was both. And he was like, I have my own Tom Sweeney. And it was his, like, I guess in school, like this black kid. And he kind of had some similar. Like, I'd say the same skin complexion, same shade. But not really.

And I'm like, oh, that's, you know. Oh, wow. Thanks, dude. And then he followed up, though. He followed up with, he was like, I forgot the guy's name. He was like, hey, man, what do you hate? And the guy's like, oh, my God. The gays.

Oh, my God. Your existence is ruining that poor kid's life. Torturing. someone even related to Slipknot and that is fascinating to me. I hate my... I hate that you posted only... I hated you closed the door

when you close the door. What do you mean? Because I said, I'm Tom's me. I hate the gays because they're just regular people. That's what I said and literally, literally,

literally, it turned into this. I didn't know that. You didn't know that? Yeah, dude, that's what happened. I don't just hate the gays. I'm not going to say that. Dude, that is legendary. I didn't know that.

that you had done it off. I thought you legitimately said that just to be like fucked up and edgy. Like that's funny. No, dude. Dude, that is so good. You like, you like, you like,

you fucked me up. Years from now when I'm trying to get like a real job there. I'm like, excuse me, Mr. Jameson or Sweeney. And it's, I'm like,

oh, fuck, no, no, no. You're like, you immediately have to walk out because you already know where this is going. I lost that footage. There's no way to fix it. I hate you. That's amazing.

That's amazing. I almost don't even want that to be on earth. I don't want people like this is like exposing this. Don't cut this part from the podcast. This is good. This is good you know, hardcore fan material. Yeah. Yeah. If you guys really know about me. This is behind the scene. Yeah, he did.

The whole thing was like, I hate the gays because they're just normal people. And I just thought, that's not funny. That part's not funny. That's not funny. It was funny for a second. The way it's cut off though, it's so good. It sounds like a fucking period. Like a sentence. I hate the gays. He also

puts the dots at the end too. He died Yeah That was really good And fucking ruined me, Chris I was just talking to I was just talking to this girl And she

She listens to us too And She was talking about like Oh yeah I love I love that guy Well the first thing She's not like a huge fan

Because she was calling you Todd Which I thought was fucking hilarious I was dying Yeah it's not my name And You ever been a black person named Todd? Yeah

No Todd Sweeney Todd Sweeney That's a, isn't that a... Oh, wait, Sweeney Todd. That's why she was calling you Todd. Yeah. That, I didn't even think about that.

That makes sense because that's where the name came from. Yeah. So it was derived from. That totally, yeah, okay, I forgot about that shit. Okay. Because you're so edgy. I'm not edgy, though. You are, though.

You're so edgy and misunderstood. I'm not misunderstood. I'm just kind of weird. I don't even remember what the hell I was saying. Some bitch. The bitch is making my name wrong. Oh, she loved. Oh, yeah.

She loves. Anyway, she, she, she... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion. $1.20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recover.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Loves the fact how much you're abused. She's a fan of it. She's like, I like, but she also asked, and this is something that we bullied you about for a while because she was like, does he have his own channel? Like, doesn't he have his own? He's so fucking funny.

And I'm like, yeah, we've been over this. Why are you guys bringing, okay, change the subject? Next question. I mean, I don't want to change the subject because. I'm done talking. talking about this, all right? I'm tired of your, I'm tired of your underachieving bitch ass. All right, man. Let's get real about this for a second. Oh, my God. Guys, I'm literally a full-time student. I can't do YouTube. I can't do a channel right now.

I can barely sleep. You know what's the funniest thing about this is that he thinks he has even a remote ability to get a job after all the shit that he said. Stop. Stop it, all right? They're not going to find out. It's stuff that I don't even do. It's you put out on the internet. Like, you put out on I can delete all that stuff and it'll be gone. Sure, yeah. You think that, okay. There are tweets that I've deleted also that I still see every couple days. Yeah, archives are bitch.

This is what I'm going to do, right? What's up? I'm going to delete my Twitter. I'm going to move myself from me. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to get your nursing job. You're going to tend to somebody who recognizes you. And then they're going to be like, look, it's Tom Sweeney.

He hates the gays. And I'm going to kill him. And they're going to be like, what? Smother them with a pillow. I'm going to give him too much medicine. You're studying to be a nurse. And the last. Last episode, I think you literally said, I don't care about people who need help.

The sooner you accept that this is where your life is. Stop. Okay. You know what? You know what? I would never wear, like, merch of my friend's face. My girlfriend has the picture on my shirts. That is different.

It's a girlfriend. And another friend of mine. Your girlfriend has the wolves? She has the wolves. And then she has the one, my fuck, part of my head is missing. She said, this is my favorite picture I love it Look

Your girlfriend's favorite picture of you is you dead on a shirt Says a lot about the universe, huh? Like I mean look I would have the shirts and support I just usually I don't know It's just a little meta thing That's a little weird to me

I understand However I would wear something If you had a quote And it was saying that You don't care about people who need help I would wear that Legitimately

Because that's just That's nice And I want people would be like, God, who's that guy? That's fucked up. What a fucked up human being. Oh, he's Tom Swinney. He also hates the gays. He hates the gays, right?

I love it, dude. I just say so much, fucking edgy bullshit. I totally just cut you off there and just made you into a monster. Yeah, I see so much edgy bullshit now that I'm like, do I mean it? What would happen, though? What would happen if you would have released it the way that he said it? Nothing. It would just be bland.

It would be blander. It wouldn't be as funny. Now I'm immortalized from that Which is kind of awesome thanks But also not really because like I don't I mean people know you're joking I hope so They obviously look

Anyone that follows me knows I'm joking No for sure Like let me just Just just be real for a second So the dude's name is Griffin Griffin Taylor The son He um that dude is very like

Um I would say androgynous You know Um And if he thought you were serious He would not like you at all He's super like, you know, him and his father, so they're very pro-LGBQ and all that stuff, very progressive and stuff. So if everyone knows, everyone knows.

It's delivered in such an over-the-top way. Yeah, like, there's no way that anybody could mean it and say it the way that you said it. Yeah, most of the time I'm joking about the shit I say. Most of the time. Like, if you were like in a suit and stuff, like, if I was in a suit with a briefcase that I pointed about while I was holding my coffee. There's people like, oh, whoa. What's wrong with this chat ass fucking, this jerk? That guy's going to be on, like, the fucking Trump.

cabinet or something. I don't know what's happening with this shit. Do you can you imagine me on the Trump cabinet? Mike Electric Fence Pence he's going to call you up. Mike,

you that guy, yo, I really hope Trump doesn't die because if that guy becomes president, I'm actually going to be a friend. He's going to fucking palpeteen everyone.

He's going to literally shock everyone. I could see him like shooting lightning into the sky. He did he like the fucking last Star Wars movie? Yeah, exactly. And it just raining down into the sky,

wiping out fucking states. And everybody's straight after that. That was his whole thing. That was his whole thing. Didn't he like believe in, I don't know if he believed in conversion therapy or electroshock therapy

for like gay people or if he just funded people who also believe that? Electroshock therapy or work on a fucking straight person too. If you just make a straight person if you shock them enough, they don't be like, I have to do this because my body hurts every time I think about this other thing. Yeah, it's just punishing. That's just punishing.

Preservation right there. Yeah, I don't know how true that is or not. Yeah. It's kind of like, it's like, because I never looked into it. But one thing I did look into was Caitlin Bennett, the gun girl. Oh, yeah. Because there was the whole meme about her, like, oh, she pooped her pants or something like that. Is that real?

It's not. Yeah. I looked into it because I wanted to be like, is this real? Like, this really happened? And it was some guy over at Barstool Sports. They have a podcast and this guy, he made it up. He started it. And then they were asking him on the podcast, oh, is that real?

And he was being very, like, subtly, like, not denying. it, but obviously he's making it up, you know? And it went insanely viral. And I was like, fuck, I think that guy can be sued for defamation possibly, but I think Katelyn't's too fucking stupid. No, I don't know, pooping your pants isn't defamation. Yeah, that doesn't really, really. Like, defamation implies like, something horrible. I feel like it's your, you're criminal. Yeah, I feel like it has to be something that. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. You can do something. Really? I don't know.

I really don't know. You might be right. I just feel like if somebody made up a lie about me that said, I pooped my pants at a party. I don't know if I would have any real legal recourse to sue because it's just a, it's just a lie? That's not, that's not destroying your person at all, really. Well, I think it depends on, I guess, if there was a legitimate, like, reaction.

Yeah, if she could demonstrate that she'd lost money somehow. Yeah. Or was harmed somewhere from that. But, like, I just don't think that you could even really prove that. No, yeah, I think you're right. I think because nothing, not, she just humiliated. She just, in that, you, I don't think you can sue for me humiliated. Yeah.

Well, I mean, unless you're, you know, you're probably lawyers that you have to pay like 10,000 an hour or something to make something happen. They'll figure it out because they're fucking crazy. Lawyers are dead. Savvy fucks. Yeah, she was, uh, she's a strange person. She's a strange one. She's definitely an attention. Oh, 100%.

Is that the girl that, like, I consider myself a colored woman? No, no, no, that's Rachel Dolazol. Oh, yeah. No. That's the woman who was like, I identify as black or whatever. No, no, no. That's like that you're talking about that white woman. Like she's a grown ass woman.

Yeah. No, I think she said she identifies her with a colored woman. I think I saw something on Twitter about it when she was like, is she like a small blonde girl? Yeah. She has curly blonde hair and she carries a gun everywhere. Yes.

I heard about that. That she was wild because if I was a cop, I would have, uh, I would have defended myself. But, uh, yeah, apparently I saw some, it might have been her. It might have not been her. But I was some like small white woman's like, I ended up as a colored woman. I'm like, bro, where? I don't know.

I don't think that was her. Maybe. It might have not been. If it was her, it was for a joke. It was, yeah, she clearly she's just, like, she's a troll. She's a troll, but she's a really bad one. Yeah. It's embarrassing.

It's not, it's not, it's not, it's, there's, the people that are, um, that are owning her, that are, like, fucking destroying her are just being incredibly reasonable. All they're saying of things like, um, oh, what do you think about, uh, tampons being in the men's bathroom? She's, like, trying to be all like, like, yeah, and everybody's just like, I don't, is it that girl? Yeah, it's that girl. I think we mentioned that, actually. We talked about this before.

That was the first, like, official one. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's no need to go over it again. Yeah, there's no. Yeah, we're talking about palpity, and then I somehow curves swerved into that. No, that's vain.

No, no, no, we're going to get sued by Disney. Oh, yeah. I didn't finish it. I didn't finish it. Red L. Omega, I think, wrote in, every time I see these notifications, I hope some girl I'm simping for has put out a set, but it's just you fucks asking for pot-fat material.

What would you be willing to sell as an e-girl specialty? I like that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't... I mean, let me tell you something. Okay. I would have done porn immediately if it was obviously like profitable.

Like there's no reason. Like, if ever I see a woman who's like getting shit for like posting shit, I'm like, oh, she posts her cleavage for money. It's like, yeah, I would totally... You have no... understanding of how quickly I would do that if I could. It's jealousy. It's, absolutely,

I'm jealous. I want to make that money. I want to make money. If I could just sit in front of a fucking camera and just show my chest and eat and make a ton of money, I would do that immediately, like, without even a shadow of a doubt.

I'm like, I'm like, oh my God, I don't want to send pictures of my tism. He's like, yo, I would send pictures of my dick. If I could get paid for a few pictures of my dick,

I would be fucking giggling. I would dress it up. I would get a whole lighting kit. I would get in like tiny suits. I would get like you. All suits, all sorts of things. I have a Woody set for my dick. I have a fucking Buzz Lightyear

fucking set for my dick. Like, dude, I would, I'm so okay with that. Oh yeah, it's, yeah, 100.

Like, I'm going like, I'm going on a porn and people are like, oh my God, it's so bad. It's like, no, it's fucking not. They're just,

they're just using their bodies to make money just simply. All that shit is, all that shit is remnants of, of a prudish, you know, Christian society. It's like you need to

that I'm like, I don't give a fuck about any of it. that shit. So I have no problem with people making money off their bodies. And I am with you. I am 100% envious. I've been saying this. Me and my friend Nando have been saying this shit for years. Like, man, if there was a demand for men to be naked as shit, you know, usually there's a small little pocket of demand and those guys are the ones that are like really fucking buff. Yeah. They're really in great shape. They're well endowed. You know, shit like that. And so it's usually it's the market small. Any type of girl can make money. I've, the amount of, uh, the,

the, the variety and range of women, women that are in great shape, women that are really big, women that are just like, they don't even, they have fucking butter faces that are just whipping their tits out. And people are like, uh, uh, what, one of, um, this girl that, you probably know her too, but she has an only fans. And I was like, I wonder how much she's making. And I saw her like, subscription of like the, how many people are, on it and it was like thousands and I was like oh my god yeah and her pictures aren't even that fucking provocative no it's like it's literally just existing no no no problem with that yo do your things homegirls for yeah I would make your money so I'm yeah I'm yeah I'm with you like say what

what what what I I would if there was a high enough demand because I was actually speaking to my home girl and she was saying half serious it's like you know there's not like any guys really on only fans like not really like you should do it she's like laughing but half joking And I'm like, if there was a demand, like, if there was like, oh, I'm going to get a thousand subs or whatever, I'm going to fuck. Yeah. I don't care if people. I don't give two shit if someone sees my dick. I don't care at all.

Yeah, I really couldn't. I couldn't care last. Funny story. Funny story. When I was in high school, I stupidly sent a girl a picture on my dick like an idiot. My friends were like, you probably shouldn't do it. I was like, nah, man, this is going to give me pussy. I got to do it.

I got to do it. I have to. You don't understand. And I said pictures. my dick and she posted it all over fucking photo bucket. And there was his pictures of my dick on the internet. And I was so fucking embarrassed. And like, and the thing is that

one of my friends is like, yo, dude, you see some guy sent fucking, sent fucking, her name, fucking pictures of his dick. Look, and I was like, that's my dick. I immediately saw like, that's definitely my dick. Did you acknowledge that that? No. No, I was like, that's not mine. I denied it. Yo, she was like, that's yours. I was like, no, the fuck it's not. My face not even in it. That's not even the right color. Like that's not my dick

Literally lied through my teeth And I was at home the day after the next day And I was like I can't believe I did that Never again I did it again Like maybe two months later Oh I've done it multiple time That person didn't post it though That person's a G I respect her for that

Like you know how I'm assuming He's talking about like the bath water type shit Oh yeah I guess Yeah I'm assuming that's what he means Yeah I'll probably just do that and just completely Cheat Like it's not just like fill a bunch of shit from the sink And then like no one, no one's, no one would care.

I'm sure that's what she did. Yeah, I'm sure. I try to sell my tears, but, you know, I don't really cry. I don't really cry that much. I try to sell my tears. Yeah. If I do think of something real, I don't know, like, what the hell? My blood, I'm more negative or some shit.

Isn't that worth something? Probably. I think that's pretty rare. Yeah. I don't know what my blood type is. I don't know my blood at all. I have the universal donor. I have to start donating blood, honestly.

Like, it's pretty useful. I do that. I should, though. Your blood should be nowhere near anybody else. Yeah, I kind of agree. What if it pollutes people? What if it just fucks them up? It's going to be like that bone marrow thing.

Dang. What if I overtake them? I'm like, oh man, I can feel my legions growing out there. You feel them? They can feel my legion growing out there. Yeah, I don't really know what I... The fucking hive from Halo. The fucking flood.

I don't know what I would sell. All I know is that like, look, man, there's a demand, take it. Like, these people... There are people out there who, like, fucking are really prudish about it. And they idolize a time when, like, grown men were, like, fucking children. like consistently like I just don't understand right like it's it's such a weird like like why can't we be back in the civilized days where we would paint naked babies on the ceilings of chapels those pageant shows or whatever or the girls are they're dressing them up like

women that's what babies that fucking angers me I'm like why would you do that oh that stuff is really creepy yeah like the little like the the the kids doing the beauty pageants yeah I'm like I don't really like beauty pageants in general period like ever yeah beauty they're all they're all pretty vapid they're super like not good for women but like yeah I mean, it's not good in any capacity. But it's not, I don't know. It's not even good entertainment. Oh, yeah, I agree with that.

That's not my problem. That's not my problem. That's not my problem. That's stupid. I'm not going to watch it. But the fact that it exists bothers me. It's like, oh, that's not good for women. They're the most unattractive kinds of humans.

They're empty vessels. Why do you just... To clarify that. Because some people... It feels weird to clarify. Because some... Because the fact that they're people, like, just that are attracted to them. I understand.

I understand. But it feels weird to clarify that. They're just gross. That's what you don't need to. That's like the default of something. Yeah. I mean, that's what bothers me so much. Like, say, you're...

The pageant things. You're dressing them up like... Like what would be perceived as an attractive woman where you put the makeup on and put them in dresses and all this shit. And I'm like, that's not sexy. That little kid, that's a vessel and has nothing? They're... brains aren't even close to being done.

They're so stupid. So it's, I think it's just creepy to just dress them up like that. It is. It just have like, the fact that there's television shows about it and that,

like, people are just like okay with it and it's like some kind of American tradition. Yeah. I want to switch gears a little bit. I want to switch gears a little bit because it's upsetting me. Yeah, please. Thank you.

It's upsetting me too. Have you ever seen, there was a show called like the Swan or something like that? And it was like a reality, it was like a competition reality show about giving people plastic surgery. And so there was a bunch of butt-ass ugly people that

would get plastic surgery, and I don't remember how you won, but there would be these ugly couples or something, and then they would fix them up, and then they looked like fake dolls. And it was the most bizarre shit. That is beyond fuck. That's like fucking, it's like melting down a Ken doll and putting it back together a different way. You remember

that reminds me of Bioshock, because one of the first antagonists you meet in Bioshock is this like plastic surgeon who's like gone fucking off. the walls. That's so gross. That was a show? It was a show. Holy shit. I'm going to eventually... I'm getting scared.

That sounds like, like, dystopian. That sounds like a scientist shit. It was, it was an awful thing because for a while, it was incredibly popular to get plastic. It was like, it was like a popular thing. Yeah. There was shows on like the E Hollywood thing about doctors giving people stuff and then people fixing stuff. that it was all this because everyone was It's so weird how fucking humans are so susceptible The shit they're like oh I want to get that now

Yeah I want to change my I want to change my body And it's so weird to me dude It's like I don't know man Yeah How do you feel about if you if you if How do you feel about plastic surgery in general? Okay I feel like uh like say when it comes to tits I'm okay with the tits

I'm okay with the tits because they're I've seen enough work that were I couldn't even tell that they're fake like They did such a good job and it's because they're starting to figure out to do them properly. Do you think you could tell when you feel them though? You can feel most likely, yeah. There is, uh, depending on what type of shit they put in them. Uh, yeah, because sometimes it's like pretty heavy and like hard. It's not because like natural, you squish the fuck out

them other than like the little bit of breast tissue, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's pretty easy to, to discern, but the look. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's

largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. That, like, because you see some ones that are, I don't know if you've seen Trisha Paitis. She, she, uh, her, her shit was going viral on Twitter. And they're, their fucking dreamcast it's dude they're like they're square oh my god they're fucking it doesn't make sense they're dream cat they're so botched I cannot believe that she was like openly

like oh I'm sexy buy my videos or whatever and I'm like go fix your tits they're square they're square at the bottom that's scary. It doesn't make sense that they look like that like you have money go fix them yeah she has a lot of money I feel like she'd be able to I feel like she'd be able to find a plastic surgeon I've seen I've seen boob jobs that look pretty good

They look very good I've seen them too But like I don't know So I'm just saying Well it's not like I don't I don't I don't I don't it's not like a preference for me or anything Yeah But I'm saying I don't mind the titch because they can actually make them look good Everything else I feel like is really unfortunate

Especially a lot of women always want to get their nose done And yeah I love like big ethnic noses and stuff I'm like a I Continue I'm just I like when I see like the Because it kind of reminds me of like a very ethnic old school type of um it's like say my one of my exas she was Greek and she was very

self-conscious about her fucking nose and that shit I'm like you remind me of the shit that I study all the time like ancient history and people like and people from this region and then so now everybody's trying to hammer their noses down they wanted to be as thin as fucking possible and shit

and then I'm like everyone's starting to look the same yeah I don't I don't know if I mind you got a snobes it's when you overdo it it's like the second you over indulge in that stuff, it becomes like a fucking nightmare. You look like a fucking, like a Chucky doll. Like at that point, you're just like beyond saving.

But like, I think for the most part, if you're just doing like, if you just want to do like a nose job and that's it, that's fine. Like, I don't see any real problem with that. I do think it's unfortunate. I do think it's unfortunate that people are like that. That's so much. Because I'm kind of in the same boat. Like I think like Lady Gaga is like super hot in that way also, which just has like

really defined face. I hate my nose at all my part. I hate my, because I have like. I have a weird nose. I have like a strange nose, and I've always never really liked my nose. You have one of the most symmetrical noses I've seen. Dude, I know.

I feel like it's too big. That's it. I think it's a very large nose. You think your nose is too big as a black man. Wait, can I finish? As a black man. Have you seen? Okay.

Can I show you a picture of Stephen Jackson from the fucking... Dude, I very... I get it. Okay. It's just a me thing, you know? I'm not saying... No, I get it. I know.

My nose is like five times bigger than yours. I have, dude. I have, what you call? People like, oh, you have a nice, my nose is, like, it reminds me of my, my grandmother is Hispanic. She has, like, a Hispanic person's, like, very small nose. And then my father's side, they're, like, all Jamaican, like African people. And they have, like, broad fucking noses. So I got somewhere in the middle where I have, like, it's a relatively fine nose.

But I feel like it's just a little too large sometimes. Because I saw my grandma's, like, oh, my grandma has a perfectly fine nose, you know? That's it. That's like one of the few things about me that I have a problem and my fucking eyes. Insecurities are weird. It is weird. It's weird. It's a personal thing.

For the most part, every time somebody tells me an insecurity they have, I just don't understand it at all. It's always going to be like that. It's just completely over the head, over the head, completely baffling. Yeah. No, I get it. I do understand. I mean, it's kind of like, uh, um, I took a picture with this, this, uh, rapper name, Mr. Capone. He's like some fake cholo.

I mean, he's, uh, he's a lot of people giving shit because he's Pakistani and, uh, he's not actually like Hispanic. That's so fucking mean. Yeah. So, but he's like, whatever, man, there's, there's, uh, there's, uh, uh, Samoan Cholos, you know, or Chicano, whatever the fuck he says. But I took a picture with them when I went to the Staples Center to like honor Kobe. Because I was like, holy shit, it's that guy. And when I saw the picture, because I know how to make people look decent when I take pictures, because you do it so much.

But like some people, they just don't even pay attention to that. They just take a picture. You know, just take a picture, whatever. Here you get the picture. And I was like, fuck, I hate how I look. I'm already like, because my whole thing is being self-conscious because I, in the, being in the fitness industry or really loving the fitness industry and I'm so like out of shape

that like it bothers me to the point where I was looking at that picture and I'm like I can't fucking post this. I wanted to share this with people because I'm like, holy shit, this guy like he kind of means a lot to me some deep lore in my back in the day but I fucking hated it. I was like, hey, I can't do this. So I get it.

I'm not, I see your nose and you're like, I'm like what the fuck you're talking about, but that's you. It's always personal shit. You know, like, pay no attention to me. I'm just belching I was having a fucking I was in sure

I had a berth and then everybody turned to me Well because it was so like It was so animated emphatic yeah Like I was like I'm an animated person Yeah it's gonna happen

Very good Lord Next question on please P-P extendis is back Nice was good bro What's good race warriors Oh my god My race warriors Favorite alcoholic drink

That's a pretty standard one I know I know Chris's Do you? Yeah Yeah you drink the same fucking thing all the time. What is it? The Moscow mule. Yeah, that's, yeah. The Moscow mill. I'm a big fan. Switch it up, bitch. Come on. I just switch it up.

Sometimes it's Long Island. Sometimes it's... Long Island's a disgusting, bro. I can't stand that. Long Island's are... I wouldn't say they're disgusting. They're powerful as fuck. They're disgusting. They're strong and they're... They're not my favorite. But they'll get the job done. If you want to get drunk, a Long Island and a half will be putting you in that round. A Long Island iced tea is like just the most bang for your buck as far as like a mixed

drink is. Because it doesn't taste as as bad as anything. Well, actually sometimes. Sometimes they botched. It depends on who. Sometimes they botched the mix pretty bad. But a lot of the times you'll get like a really sweet tasting ice tea, but it's not so sweet that it feels like a Mike's hard. You know what I mean?

Like where it's just like, oh my God, it's just sugar. Soda. But you're also just getting a fuck ton of alcohol in that glass. And it's just absurd. I remember when I had my first one, it was like, what the fuck? What is this? This is an ice tea at all. When I did Yeager bombs with a Vega, Lord Vega at Vidjointed.

Khan. It was like, I like this. Whatever the fuck this is. You know, I had a Yeager mom? Yeah, I've had a year mom. I'm not a, well, it's, I don't like the black Ligorous flavor. No, I don't either, but like they got the red bull in there. Yeah. I just know, there's a cup of Red Bull in the drink and it just makes it taste like candy. If you get it all down right. It's just like the strange. And then you're, and then you're destroyed. You're gone. I only drink them. I only drink them. I only drink them when people made them. I just, I really don't like that flavor. Like I really don't

like Yeagermeister. But I will drink it if it's offered because we, because we, would um in the in in orange county like we didn't fuck with uh all those bros the lifted trucks they fucked with monster and then so they would always mix it with monster and yager yeah we'd go get some yager bombs bro they always did it and i'm just like okay i mean it was always bloodlight and yager bombs that's it's where i lived you know i lived i lived i lived i lived in hispanic neighborhood but the white people that lived on the hills they all had like trucks that were you know taller than everybody and it was fucking silly But they all had money and they knew how to party.

Yeah. This fun three-story house we'd go to in the hills. It was called Pussy Palace. Oh. It was one of those things. Pussy Palace. It was one of those things. Keep in mind, we were like 18, so that's not, I would never call a house pussy palace as an adult.

I remember this one night where like I got, I had a lot to drink. I was still okay. But like, I was at this bar and then the people that I was at the bar with, it's like, hey, we're going to a party now. I was like, oh, okay, it's just some house party. It's like, yeah. And then we drove for like 30 straight minutes. I'm like, where the fuck is this house? And we end up in this like big ass house.

I was like, okay, what the fucking? There are people doing coke in the bathroom. There's like, Yeager bombs and like all, every kind of alcohol you can imagine in the kitchen. I'm like, what the fuck? Where are we? And then apparently I learn not soon, like pretty soon after that, that we're in like Taylor Swift's brother's house or something.

I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here? I don't belong here. I immediately felt like so out of place. Like the second I learned that, it was like, oh my God. I don't, I should not be here. What the fuck reason am I? What? I'm going home.

I'm leaving. I haven't, literally, I haven't partied like that in so long. I don't party like that anymore. When I was like fresh out of high school, I used to get like, I'd go to fucking Vassar. I'd go to like fucking Mount St. Mary's. Oh, I, like, although these are all like upstate New York like colleges. Okay.

And I would act a fucking fool. I would get drunk. I would like get numbers. I'd make out with girls in bathrooms. I was like I was just that guy for a while. No, that was a guy, dude. Yo, one time it might have been. That's a story for another completely other day.

That was like a moment where I was like, do I love him? No, I can't love him. And I just, I left. College days, man. College day, dude, college parties, you learned. You like, in college, you learn if you are going to be an alcoholic or not. That's when you figure, like, am I going to be this kind of person or not? I realize that a young age is like, I can't do this anymore.

I don't like being drunk for four hours That's shit is terrible Great to get that shit out of your system When you're young, yeah Because I have no desire I think like Valentine's Day I had maybe like I don't know

Five pints or something like that I don't know It was a few schooners And then some other shit And I was I was like Yeah of course You know when you feel a little silly

It's nice But I was just like I know I'm gonna regret this When I go home I was so tired I woke up feeling like shit I'm like this is why I don't fucking like Do this

I want to have like three beers max now And my age I just want to have like three, four beers maybe. And then just be like, I feel good. I feel a little bit of a buzz, but it's not going to have any ramifications. You want to get out of your system, but you also want to get out of your system early. Yeah. But not so early.

Like you got in too early because your brain is damaged, clearly. Yeah, I fucking, I'm warped. I definitely, I started drinking when I was like 16. So I drinking when I was 16 and I was definitely way too. No, it was a little too early. It's a little too early. No, I didn't like a cess though. Like I would drink four local.

Like alcoholic. He's a 16 year old alcoholic. Yeah, like I would drink four locals every day and for a first period and I'd be like in my math class drunk as fuck. Okay. Like, wow and now. Then we would go to the bathroom and smoke and we would just go to the rest of the day. And I was like really bad. That's like really bad.

I started drinking when I was like 20. 20? Yeah. I didn't like alcohol. Yeah. For a very long time. I just like, there's no point.

It just makes everybody an asshole. Yeah. That was my experience. Because I was around people like you that completely turned me off to it. I wasn't walling out that much when I was around me. I was already coming down. No, no, no, but what, like, what I'm saying is, like, your 16-year-old self was the person that I was around when I was 16. I was like, this guy is the fucking worst.

I don't want to be anything like this person. Yeah, it's wild. And I just didn't drink until it was, like, 20. What was your, what was your, like, so? Your drink of choice. I don't know, man. It's like, it's like a four loco and, like, two tequila shots. Just get, just get nice and wild.

Just get, like, nice and wild. You were drinking the four logos when they were fucked up. When they were, like, poison? They had a shit ton of caffeine in them. Yeah, that shit. That shit really brought you to a new world Like I would drink the fucking peach one I'd fucking scarf that one down with my homies

So what about you? You're like a beer A beer dude I'm over yeah I'm a beer guy But I will have there's only one like say liquor Like like as far as liquor goes My favorite drink I think is one of the best tasting drinks in the world Is a Jameson and ginger ale You mix that together It's for some reason the gingerill seems like

Like it was or the Jameson was made for ginger ale. It mixes so well together. It's such a beautiful. You put it on rocks. Just mix it just. I forgot how many parts. But when you just get it just right, it's so fucking delicious. Yeah. And gingero is a fantastic drink just in general. It's done in general. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Jameson is a fucking good combination. Yeah. If you guys are legally able to drink, you should try that. You should definitely Jameson General if you can drink. Yeah. I think you're not, then like, don't see I told you to try it. I think for me, it was definitely Moscow Meals, Long Island. And recently I've gotten to the point where I can tolerate beer. and I like Guinness Ginnis. Ginnis is so so... Because Guinness has the foam like that fucking

perfect foam I hate it It's fucking amazing I hate it To me like Guinness tastes like someone like gargled coffee And spit it back in

They're like here you go Are you more of like a fucking Coors guy Not cool There's a few IPAs I'm gonna get my homie I am I hate IPAs No IPAs are fucked

If you have me I don't like I don't like it I just don't like it So all of it Especially beer at all taste really bad to me. I mean, no alcohol tastes good, really. It's, it's all about, like, what tastes the least bad. Well, there's some good, like, I think, I think, I think rum is

fucking delicious. I think, you're crazy. I think rum is great. That's actually psychotic what you just said. No, it's not. That's actually mind-bogglingly. There's a lot of rums that are, like, and there are sweet vodkas that don't taste that terrible. Like, you ever had, like, I ever had, like, so from, like, Bacardi or something. I've had Bacardi or something. And what are, you like, I mean, you probably have, like, 151, which will burn your throat or something. I did have 151. I think it all tastes bad, but, like, it tastes awful. It tastes awful. It tastes. Some taste better. Some taste better, especially if you just add a little bit of flavor to it.

I guess. I'm willing to suffer through bad taste as long as I'm going to get fucked up. But I don't, I'm not willing to suffer through bad taste for no good reason, which is why I just don't really go for beers because beers just don't do anything. They just fill you up. It's just carbs. It just makes you kind of like feel full. It's a social drink. It's a social drink.

My social drinks are mules now. Well, see, the thing is why a lot of people do liquor because they want to get fucked up as quickly as possible. That was never my goal. Always my goal. My goal was like, because I, I functioned very well. That's why I didn't smoke weed until I was 18 for the first time. Oh, Jesus. But it was under, because I never, I was, I was fine with just,

because usually, like, when I was hanging out with, like, punks and stuff, we had a little bit of money, but they wanted to live the punk life. So we'd get, like, 40s and shit. And I fucking hated for you. Malt liquor, I hate malt liquor. I hate malt liquor is disgusting. Malt liquor, I do. It does something to black jeans, man.

It fucks us up, man. It's not good for us. We got to say, actually, that shit's a fucking experiment that they put in a fucking hood to kill us. Like, I'm not even fucking kidding.

That shit is bad. I was so, I was so unhealthy drinking fucking 40s. Like, King Cobra 2-11, fucking Mickey. I was so,

my mom was like, one time I was sleeping, I had this like, I would just get this weird white shit would be, I would just be so dehydrated and gross. And my mom was like,

are you, what are you doing? Are you, are you, like, on drugs? Like, what's wrong with you? And I was like, nah, I'm just, you know, you know, goes. Like, I was not doing any fucking drugs. I wouldn't do any drugs. When I stopped drinking malt liquor and I was still drinking plenty of beer.

Like, I would, I love loggers, green bottled loggers. Usually European loggers, like, say, or there was actually my favorite was Moulson ice, this Canadian beer, fucking amazing. But, like, say, anything Grosch, anything St. Paddy's girl, obviously Hynequin was okay. It's actually It was like the bottom of the barrel But it was still like

A green bottled lager was pretty When I started just downing all that shit I was fine Yeah So it was like something in milkers Malt liquor is fucking tameder I've never had a malt liquor I don't think

Yeah Don't drink that shit bro It's like uh It's like the ones that we Oh my god I had like a Okay It's not scuma

Scuma Scuma is like the Skyrim thing right Yeah What's Sambuka What is Sanbuka? What is Sanbuka? I don't know what that is That's like a liquor

I think Might not be a malt liquor No there's Sam Oh fuck I know it's like It's simple. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band?

Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal.

While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco. Every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I used to know what it is I had it I think we had it With Were you there at Vidcom

With Jack's films I think I think that was like Another black licorice type of thing It was like it was like a high It was like a high version Of the Jaeger Meister Yeah

It was Jacks Films and Eric was there With his pineapple haircut Yeah Yeah that was amazing Dude I got on the front page of Reddit Because of that shit Okay so Yeah

I remember Adam You movie sucks Yeah And Eric And what was it Something about like When you're black

And your mom doesn't want you hanging out with the gangsters. They want you to hang out with the white people down the street so you don't get involved with gangs. It was one of those type of thing. Yeah. And you were there next to this. I was in the middle with pineapple hair and Adam making his stupid frown face.

So they just look like really dumb white people. And it ended up on the front page or Reddit via R slash black people Twitter. I'm still at the point where I can drink a lot. But like the problem is it's like the problem with me is that I found the hack. Like the problem is, that's the problem now. Is that like, I know that I can drink a lot with no consequence. Because I found the cure. What is that?

Pedialite. Oh, that's everyone's cure. It's... No, no, no. You don't understand. Pediolite just negates hangovers. Purely. Well, completely.

It's not... It's not so ridiculous. And it works every time I do it. I could be blackout and I'll just take some pedolite and I'll be fine the next day. It's like, the fact that that's even possible is stupid. Well, see, the whole thing is... The whole idea of that of Pediolite and why it seems like such a miracle thing is that the reason why you feel like absolute trash is because you're fucking dehydrated. Yeah.

Do not be dehydrated. But water doesn't help as much. Because you don't you're not replenishing your electrolytes. You don't drink water while you're drinking. You don't drink water while you're drinking. And here's the thing. You're pissing out all of the fucking water that's in you. And all the electrolytes in your system are pouring out as well.

You're not replenishing them. You're supposed to sip water too. You're not supposed to chug it. That's fucking gay though. Who does that? No, like, if you ever see somebody that gets fucking alcohol and then water, you're like, fuck that guy. Yeah, exactly. You don't want to hang around with them.

You drink water when you're off by yourself. Like, you go, you stagger off and you're like, all right, cool. It's time to go home. The last thing you do is get some fucking waters. The great thing is now is Uber and Lyft is a thing. Yeah. Because, like, that shit wasn't really a thing. And we didn't fucking, like, we didn't have taxis in over here.

Only old people used taxis in California back in the day. Upstate, there's no such thing. It's fucking, you got a deer. If you go to open your fucking deer will pull up And I'll be like, where do you want to go And they'll take you somewhere Yeah So I mean my whole point was that

I would always keep Multiple gatorades in my cars I left a party early one time Because this one girl that I was kind of involved When she invited me But then she started dancing with some other guys I was kind of drunk I was like

What the fuck is this shit? So I left And I was driving through the rich part Bert, I was Embraia I was a rich city You know I was driving a car A cop starts tailing

And I was like Fuck I'm going to jail Because I was drunk I was like, oh, he's clearly going to pull me over. I wasn't swerving or anything, but I'm like, he's probably going to find a reason because that's what they do. And he, I guess I was good enough. He just fucked off.

And I was like, oh, my God. And that was my never again thing. Like, I don't drive drunk anymore because I was like, I could have easily went to jail and had DUI. Yeah, that could have been the end of your life right there. Yeah, easily. Yeah, for sure. Don't do it.

I almost, I almost got caught having sex in a car in a parking lot. Oh, that's awesome. And the cops. The cop showed up. I was like 17. The cop like showed up open the door. I was like, oh shit, oh shit. Oh no, this is so bad.

Never again. Never in a million years. Everyone's almost gone caught. You're coming to my domicile or I'm coming to your domicile or nothing will happen. I'll be honest. I can't.

That scared the shit out of me. I almost gotten caught. I think it was in 2014. I had this lifted Tahoe. I bought it off my step something in law. I don't know what the fuck I would say. Some dude. Some guy who's vaguely related to you.

Yeah. So I bought his giant truck and it was pretty. cool and I was detented and shit like that and I was fucking you know I was giving it to this fucking broad and giving it to her. Yeah the cops you know knocking on the shit I was like fuck and then I just pulled up my pants faster

than it's humanly possible and so I was able to pass it off like nothing was happening we were just like maybe about to do some shit but so he was like hey you know you guys can't be here the fucking parks closed and like fuck all right cool that was pretty frightening but that never stopped me yeah there

There is something magical. I would never, like I said, I would never, if you were like young and you're maybe losing in Virginia, especially for the girls' sake, don't do it in a car. You don't want a first experience to be a car or something like that. I had an Instagram Q&A about that. I was like, dude, don't worry about your first time. Just don't do it in a fucking car. Just do it in the house. You wanted to be good for her towards you to think you're a fucking sleaze bag.

But car sex is fucking awesome. It's not awesome. It's very much. You guys are not how to do it right. That's why. No, no. I got caught once and I'm done. See, your experience is ruined.

I'm too large for most cars. Well, see, I have SUVs. I have an explorer right now. I had a fucking Tahoe. So that's why it's awesome. I had a Jeep Wrangler for like a minute when I was like back in New York and I still didn't understand how you would do it in there. It's just not.

And I'm like short shit. This is the thing. You guys don't understand. You're trying to make love in a fucking car. That's stupid. No. Yes. If you say you don't understand how to do it, you're doing it wrong.

This is how you do it. I used to have a fucking S-10. That is a small pickup truck. A Chevy S-10 is a small pickup truck. Anybody look and go look up an S-10. And you'll be like, how the fuck do you fucking that? Oh, easily. She straddled me and we had a great fucking time.

And by the way, I found out that her neighbor, because I would come over every once a while and we do that. He's dead. No, but he would watch me. Oh, no. And I had no idea. That's, okay. And look.

You're just, you're not selling. this. Listen. What are you going? Listen. I love it when old men watch me straddle me in a fucking straddle me to like blow to my wee wee blows up. Back up, backup, backup. So not an old man. Okay, so that S-10 did not have tinted windows. That was my problem. That I didn't, those windows weren't tinned because I was my second car I ever had and I couldn't afford it. I put on rims and a paint job and I'm like, fuck the tinned windows. I'm broke. And so that was just me. I'm 18 years old, whatever. And, you know, banging this girl from the rival school. Awesome. And it was...

Like an American pie movie? Literally. Look, it was just... The guy, it was this dude named John. He was our same age. Now, I only found out that he, like, caught, like, knew this was happening because he offhanded comment because we started jamming because I knew a guy

on the same street. And he said, no, no, because you couldn't see anything, right? You could see her probably just bouncing up and down. I'm assuming that's probably what he saw. But the thing is, they were like neighbors. And I would jam another guy's house down the... the street and we all started jamming together. He's like, oh yeah, because I started, I brought up this girl. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more. at APU. APUS.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. for an office near you.

He's like, oh, that was that one girl that you would like, you would park across the street, right? Like, late at night and stuff. And me, I'm like, like, wait. I was like, you saw that? And he was like, yeah, like, I would see your truck sometimes. And I'm like, this motherfucker was like, like probably peeking out his window. Oh, he's here. He's fucking here.

He grabs this fucking bottle of lotion. That's gross, dude. If he was jacking off, I'd be fucking angry. I would like, I would actually go confront him now. You fuck. Like, what's wrong with you, man? But like, because I don't, I always, if I always see somebody like banging and if you ever see anything, I laugh and then I'm done. I'm like, yeah, you're immediately over.

Like, this is not my place. This is not my wrong. You don't linger. You don't linger. You don't linger like a fucking poison. You don't, you don't open a door than go and sit down quietly. Like if people are coming in like, let's say, I've been in, I've been in college rooms where like at parties where I've just been sitting down in the bed like rolling a blunt. And then like people are coming in like making, I didn't know him there.

And I'm like, uh, excuse me. I'm going to get out. And you're like, what the fuck? And I'm like, oh. Sorry, I'm going to get out of here and I just go roll weed in the bathroom or some shit like that. Yeah. But like, you're never supposed to stay there because you got to immediately alert them that you're there. Like, hey, before dick comes out, I'm in this room.

Yeah, that dude, that's fucking weird. I just like, I really hope that he didn't, I really hope he didn't. He was choking it to you. That's fucking gross. I feel like if I was in a situation where I was in a room and then people came in and didn't see me, I feel like I, I feel like I would lock up. I feel like I wouldn't be able to move. Because I feel like, fuck, I don't know how to leave. It would have to be immediately.

If you had to leave immediately, then immediately. But like, if I don't notice them, if I'm like also high or like also drunk and I just didn't know. And I turn up. You know what I think Chris would do? How do you leave? How do I leave here? I think Chris would join. No.

He's like, he's like, I don't know. He's a chair, Chad. So you're going to walk up to him and push him off her. It's my fucking turn now. And he started. And he started looking at him like, you're doing you are doing it wrong. This is how you do it. And she just love it.

it. She just love me like, oh my God. You are uncomfortable. Let's double Okay, have a ton of funny stories. But don't back to like how like you'd quickly just get dressed after you know, what you call it, after you'd be, you'd get caught by the cops or something. Yeah. There was one time. Oh, there was

one time that I literally one of the girls I was like messing with, dad came into the house. And I heard him downstairs and before he got up the stairs, I was reclothed away from her. Like, I was already my pants back up shirt on

sitting on the other side of the room and I was just like, what's going on? What's happening? Because I, dude, I, across the room. I am so good at getting dressed fast

when I'm scared. Yeah. It's like, it's uncanny. Exactly. It's, you don't know. Dude,

adrenaline's amazing. When you get that dump, like, so this is something that I forgot about when you said that. I forgot this even happened. I'm remembering shit that I like wanted to block out,

I guess. But I definitely a high school scenario sneaking in, well, obviously I would never do. I'm a fucking adult. But like say even I retroactively like sneaking into a house being invited. Oh, my parents are fucking gone or something. Party or whatever the case was. Yeah.

So then I went over like I went through the front door because like, okay, nobody's there. I guess they came home early. And I was like, oh my, I couldn't. I was fucking like, I can't fucking believe this. And so I immediately, boom, put on my clothes. They were coming through the front. So I'm like, what the fuck do I do? I jumped through her window.

And she had a very, very large fence or brick wall thing. It was super. I fucking scaled it like I was an Olympian. And when I got home, now I didn't 100% scaled it because I hit my shins. I, you know, after the adrenaline wore off, I was like, oh, my fucking shins hurt. Yeah, yeah. But it had to be like at least 10. feet. I couldn't believe I

scaled it. And I was like when you have adrenaline coursing through your veins, you can do the most amazing shit because, in no other scenario, would I have been able clear of that shit? It's stupid scary, like, how superhuman you can become when you have like adrenaline. Like, I remember I was in Arizona, like in 2006. I was like a kid. I was like a kid

kid. And like I was in the backyard, the backyard of this house in Arizona. It was my sister, it was my half-sister's house. And I was just alone in the backyard. And there's just like nothing but like sand and shit because it's Arizona it's a desert

There's no like grass And this fucking like I guess it was like a coyote or something Top the fence And like started eyeballing me And I was like no I'm small

And I remember this very vividly I ran up the house I ran up the house And climbed onto the roof Whoa It was like a one story house So it wasn't like that big But I'm like small

And like that's like That's like a three-story house to regular people. Dude, it's insane. Like, I look back, like, I look down. I was like, how the fuck did I just do that? That's amazing. I see some shit online. And some people, they're sex drives and their libido is out of this fucking world.

It's not, it's to the point where I'm like, what is wrong with you? Some people are just like, they're just scary. It's like, you can do this all day clearly. Like, twice, three times. And I'm like, I just can't anymore. My body hurts. Yeah. You know, somebody made a really good point that I never thought about, because this is something that, and there is a little bit of truth that that porn kind of has warped some people's perception of sex. And something I never, because I would always say, I'm like, dude, like, especially to some people that don't understand, especially a woman, if she was, like, expecting you to fucking ravage her all night where I'm like, it's, number one, it's, it's very unrealistic. Those are rare moments where you can, like, just do this shit all night or something like that, or you can have little breaks in between or whatever. And it's, it's, commonly, you're going to go for a few minutes.

You're going to go for five to ten or whatever. It varies. Now, the thing that this one doctor said, he was like, you all need to think about it in this way. Fighters, professional fighters, especially boxers, they go for three minutes. And a three-minute round feels like a fucking eternity when you're fighting someone who's just as good

or even better than you or whatever, and you're trying to match them, you're trying to knock them out. Usually when you're having sex, you're going hard in the paint. You're really going at it. So the idea of people trying to like, imagine a boxer just constantly throwing haymakers for fucking six rounds continuously with no breaks in between. It's an unrealistic thing.

Yeah. It's comedy. I don't think it's like some truth to that. I think it's just, it's fact. That's just fact. Yeah. I think it's pretty clear that like most people experience porn first before they even. Yeah.

And then it works what sex is. And you're like, oh, I can't, I can't lift her. I can't do a handstand. I can't do Antenam I can't do eight cartwheels I was so She's spinning on it How was she spinning on that

That's impossible Like a screw I don't think there's a problem with With I don't think there's a problem With porn's existence No not at all But like it definitely does It definitely does warp

Your perception of what Even healthy sex is Yeah Because it's just not even close to Not even remotely close It's all like It's all actually It's gone to the point

where like I just don't watch it. Yeah, it's gross anymore. Because it's actually just so jarringly like unrealistic that I just can't. This is just not what happens. It's not at all. None of this is even remotely interesting to me anymore. And look, I want to say, I don't know if you've ever, if you've ever seen yourself perform because I don't need that.

So yeah, I mean, typically one, I'm, I mean, I kind of, I always think it was kind of like fun to, you know, not to release to the world, but just to have a little something in our archive. I would like pull out the phone or whatever and like hey you know what's up and so I've seen myself and the funny thing is you realize quickly

how exaggerated like porn is and the thrusting and stuff because you really it is like say like certain angles or whatever you don't you rarely really see what's happening almost like regular sex people look like they're mushing together

but porn actor performers they need to exaggerate to make sure, you know, the director's like, I need to see it all. I want to see like all of this shaft. I want to see all of this stuff. And it's so like ridiculously like in and out. It's like a cartoon. Totally. It's like.

And that was exactly. That was something that like that blew my mind because I didn't know because you're just seeing, you know, you watch porn as your kid and all this stuff. And then finally had an opportunity. This was probably after because like smartphones and shit we're starting to get like in webcam. We're starting to get kind of like, oh, I can know. What's up? And that was when I, like, had an opportunity to see. And I was like, that is, you got to give those motherfuckers props, man,

because that is the most boring shit I've ever seen me, like, because you think you're fucking, like, give it to her like a born star. And then you see a porn star, oh, never mind. Like, never mind, bro. It's simple like a dancer. You think you're a great dancer. And then you're like, oh, this person is actually a dancer. This is over and that really does this, you know.

That's actually, it's a really good point. That's a really good point. It's understandable. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I don't know, that whole, that whole section of the internet is just completely Just warped as fuck It's wild To get to the point where like the only porn that I watch now is just EFuck shit

Like I'll go on EFucked and I'll laugh at like the worst shit possible on EFuck I've seen shit on there Because it's just so, it's so good So, you got, so. So I don't know how to explain what I saw and what I found and what I showed Sweeney Okay But it was, it was this porn video.

It was just these two women on a bed, right? And they were just, they were just, they were just, it was like softcore for a second. And then. A lot of tickling, a lot of hugging. Yeah, and then, hold on, let me just build this up a little bit. Okay. And then slowly but surely a presence is introduced. Success starts with your drive.

An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online program, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan. which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. And it's a very small person, very small. And you're like, oh, maybe they did like a special effect here. And then you see that this man that is about,

to join them is about a foot and some change tall looks like Dobby and is just joining in on the fun it was it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life it was the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen a dwarf or a midget or a little person who looks like that I've never seen a progerian that looks like that is like a whole different it looked like an alien just joined in on this thing and I how tall I swear to you, I swear to you, it was like a foot tall, maybe two feet max. I can't fucking. It was, it was so jarring.

It was so visually unsatisfying that I saw that and I went to bed. It was like an elder, it was as if, it was as if an elderly baby had just wandered onto a porn set and just no one stopped him. Elderly baby. No one stopped him. No one told him where, that he should not be there. It was really, really, really, really, really, really. really, really, really unsettling. Yeah.

That's what you fucked for you, man. I'm going to send you to video, though. Too late. You should absolutely see it. I really, it's an experience. It's not like two girls, one cup or anything. Yeah. It's just confusing.

It's just confusing. It's like you're watching something. It would be as if you were watching, like, a Christmas video, like a video of like a home movie from your, from your younger days. It's like, oh, look, it's a little me opening up Christmas presents on Christmas time. And then you look at it and it's like me. in your house in your house

in your clothes you're just watching and you're like this is not everything about this is wrong that's not what this is that's not what this is

supposed to be it's really interesting what the fuck that tangent how did that come that came from drinks did it by the way let's just let's just

keep it going let's just keep it pushing that was wily badly brave oh my god wrote in best TV shows of all time

I've been finally binging the wire and damn is it as good as everyone says. Got me wondering what are some of your favorite

shit. Shit. Shit. I don't know, man. The wire's amazing. That's really a beautiful show. There's too many fucking shows, man.

Okay, my favorite animated shows easily. Avatar Last Airbender and the X-Men series loved those. The 90s? The 90s? Of course.

That's great. I play on the guitar. Such a good song. My favorite, like, live action. like live shows, I guess, is Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones was really good. And then it just, it just hits some real hiccups.

Yeah. It was really good. It was really good. Hit some hiccups. The first season of Walking Dead was amazing. I like the first few seasons, man. That second season was bad, dude. The second season was really human connection.

It was a lot of human connection, which is, I like that. It was a lot of, where's this girl's gone mission? Where's this fucking little girl? And then 22 episodes later, Oh, she's in a shed. Kill her. She was a zombie.

They're trying to, yeah, they found her in the back. But it was good, though. It was, it was, what are you talking about? It was good. Like, it could have been solved, but this entire time it was hit in the shed and didn't want to face reality. It was some real shit. That's something that people, a real person would have actually done.

I'm sure. I'm sure, but it was, I like that. It was just beyond evident to me that they just didn't have a budget and they just filmed everything at the farm. I mean, it. Right, because, no, not maybe. That is literally what happened. Yeah, literally.

What was supposed to happen? besides that. There was a whole season that was written, I think, that they couldn't do because, like, somebody left the production team and then the studio

cut their budget, like, massively. So they couldn't do the second season that they were going to do. So they ended up just staying at a farm for all 22, 22 episodes,

because it's the only location that they could act. Yeah, but then what explains them having fucking large budget and still being at that dumb-ass prison like season four or something like that. That was just bad writing. Yeah. That's when,

that was when I was like, oh, my God, they're camping again. And then they camped, Again, I was like, okay, I get it. I get it. You guys are trying to find a place to live, but I'm like, I can't, I already know something's going to go wrong and then you're going to leave. Like, it's driving me nuts because we know what's going to happen. Now they have a place. They have Exangria or whatever.

That was what I was talking about. Oh, it's, they're still there? I think they are. Because this was like, I tuned in a little bit because of when I would see headlines of something happened. And I'd be, what was this? I saw the governor. I was going to say the fucking mayor. I saw, uh, fucking Pete Buttig.

Big boss. I saw a fucking big boss. He like sliced Herschel. And I thought that was fucking hilarious because I saw gifts and somebody put a Santa hat on him. Because he kind of does look like Santa Herschel. And he just fucking, it was, so that was pretty, um, that was when that whole house shit was going on, Alexandria thing, you said.

And then, um, I saw, of course, I'm pretty sure everybody saw Glenn get his head bashed in. That was vile. That was pretty violent, yeah. That actually kind of shook me a little bit. He didn't shake me about it. We talked about that last time, yeah. Oh, yeah, we did. That's right.

We did. That's right. I saw Rick die, but not die, and I was like, what the fuck? Well, see, that's what I mean.

He just says he has plot armor and it's so lame. I thought he's Batman. A lot of, a lot of them had, uh, I think Glenn before he died. It was like,

what is this? He's a superhero. It's just because he became so beloved. They were like, yeah. That's why they killed him because everybody loved him so much. I liked him,

I liked him a lot. Yeah, he was a good dude. He killed him, man. The best thing to come out of that show, the best thing that come out of The Walking Dead was that image of Rick, like, leaning over like this, and it's his face stretched out at Carl. Carl.

And he's just going, Carl. Carl. When they killed, when Carl died, I was kind of surprised. I was like, oh, Carl's dead? Yeah, see, I didn't, I heard he was dead, but then the weird thing was, I just, I heard something about, oh, Carl's thinking about coming back. And I was like, wait, well, how? Soap opera.

It's a fucking soap opera. He comes back as a zombie, but he did. Guys, my brain's okay. I don't want to eat people. Maybe a little. I just want to solve crimes. And then he goes off on this detective. Shambling zombie detective.

I would watch that. I would watch that actually. No, it's not. They've had like a lot of shows like that actually. Zombie detective? There's actually there's, there's, look it up. It's actually fucking hilarious how many, how many shows there are about zombies just being people and like. Is that I zombie literally?

It's eye zombie. It's also Santa Clarita Diet. It's also, there's like a bunch of, there's actually a hilarious amount of shows about zombies just being normal people. Fucking stupid. I don't know more. I kind of like, yeah, I really kind of, really kind of. Really killed it, right? It kind of really, you know, took a lot of

a lot of thing. It's a cool idea before you know that it was everywhere. Yeah, fuck. What a new favorite shows, dude? Damn, man. Yeah, animated. I definitely have to go with I definitely have to go with a Spider-Man in the anime series in the 90s one. I fucking, that stuck.

still just... That show is so fast-paced It's hilarious It's all of the The fastest though Was X-Men Everything happened Way too cool

Nothing There was no breathing At all You know how I know That it was slower than Spider-Man Though? Huh

Because there's a scene In the X-Men show Where it's like a Famous Beam It's like Wolverine with the picture And he's like In the bed

And he's just like Tenderly There would None of that Was in Spider-Man There was no Moment of any Like reflection

Or a character At Rest ever on Spider-Man. It was ridiculous. Every time a line of dialogue would end, another one would begin, and then like an explosion would happen, and Spider-Man wouldn't punch it.

And Spider-Man wouldn't punch anybody because it was like, the network wouldn't let him. Look, he would kick some people. He did the web kick. Yeah. He did the web kicks, and he like webbed people up. And he would make people hit each other, but he would never punch.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. The strangest thing. I love that show so much. The funny thing about the X-Men series, though, even moments like that happen insanely fast. It was like on two-time speed like on YouTube or whatever you can do.

It was like that. When there was a Tinder moment like that where it's time for like Scott and Gene to kiss or something, it would happen. There would be no like a time to even reflect on awe. It would just happen and then it's over.

You're like, you kind of were taken back with like, whoa. Character's motivation change the amount of shit that would happen in four episodes. Like if you missed two episodes it'd be like where the fuck. Completely lost.

They're in the future. Yeah. Huh? I missed like say the whole I was like wait What's going on with Morph? Like why is he like

Oh he's back and why is he What happened? I missed it the first time around Like watching it Yeah I didn't even know And they were kind of explaining Oh he was kind of abandoned or whatever

And I like missed It happened so quickly that I kind of missed And I'm like wait when did And then it wasn't until like the rerun starts Like oh I get what's happening now It was Spider-Man the anime I still loved it though Spider-Man the animated series

Was so amazing Was so good because the theme song was great. Also, the gave me like my favorite Spider-Man moment ever. And it's him chasing Shocker in the black suit. I'll chase you to the ends of the earth.

Dude, that was, Shocker's so scared. I love how Shocker's like, I bit off too much. Because he really felt how serious he was. This is finally it. He's going to kill me. That was amazing. Like him just screaming at the top of his lungs. I have to play it. This is pretty, this is getting off the rails, man.

This is going far. I loved it. I loved everything about it. The only thing I didn't like was when the X-Men were in it. They drew them. They looked like abominations to God. Yeah, they looked like themselves, but not. Not quite.

I was like, oh, my God. Like, why didn't you? What is this? Everyone looked wrong. Peace isn't like a monkey. It's like a freaking chimp-hantz-Z. I think, Gambit had like real eyes. That was like live-action eyes.

Yeah, it really upset me because. Like a SpongeBob moment. Like you'd be a regular person looking around. Fuck, I love that, man. I love that. Damn, best shows, though, man. SpongeBob has to be up there, I feel. Yeah, definitely.

SpongeBob is ridiculously underrated. Like, everyone unanimously likes it, but no one ever really talks about it and how great it is. It really is a great... Yeah, it's just a great show. It was laughing. There's so many classic episodes that are just, like, objectively, like, really good. Like, the episode where they're going through the... How to Make a Cravy Patty or, like, the...

What is it, the Instructional of the Business... instructional video? Yeah, that's fantastic. It's like such an iconically amazing episode. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-so good. It goes up for so long. Like, the fact that they got away with that. And, like, and they cut it, and they cut it off at the end.

As if it's like it felt like it was a broken episode. So good. The movie's hilarious. The cry-patic. It's just, there's so many episodes of SpongeBob that are truly will be remembered forever, because of how much they... It's just giving to fucking people's sense of humor. It's one of those perfect cartoons where it's like everything about it, like somehow...

Like, I could see a pitch for that show going completely wrong. Like, everything about that show sounds like... Stupid. Really not... Not at all like it would be good. It sounds like, like, L.O.L. so random. Like, oh, it's a sponge and he lives in a pineapple and he's under the sea. And there's like a squid.

And he's his next door neighbor. And he lives in a tiki house. And his best friend lives under a rock. And he's a starfish. And it's under the sea. It's like, what the fuck is that? Get out of my office. This premise is awful.

And then it turned into like one of the most perfect cartoons. They had to have animated in first. I think, I think, I don't know how controversial this is. It might be. Because I know that there's like a, there's still a large appreciation for this other show. But I think, I think SpongeBob is a far more classic and far more quality cartoon than the Simpsons ever was. I don't know exactly I it's different to me I love Spongebob I like SpongeBob I like Spongebom more than like the Simpsons I always will but Simpson's longevity and then like the

original seasons of that show were so like they're just iconic but the thing this but most of SpongeBob is iconic too that's the thing SpongeBob the SpongeBob it was a perfect storm it was the right people were all there and uh it was it was so insanely clever, but in a different way, though, because the memes were in it and say the Simpsons, why it's so great, it was so much content can come out of it on its

own, and just why the only reason I'm on Facebook is I follow a Simpson shit posting, the amazing group or a four-finger discount, and they're fucking incredible. The amount of shit that people can make, it's just wonderful, and SpongeBob, I agree. Like, I think it's different, but at the same

time, it's so, there's too many good moments that I can just constantly, there can be an episode entirely about SpongeBob because of the amount of things. Like, I appreciate it because I love like Renan Stimpy, for example. Yeah. And the close-ups. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong, passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion

1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. We're always my favorite, like some of my favorite shit. And SpongeBob took it to another level. They took it to a level where like one of my favorite moments, it'll always be one of my favorite moments is when Squidward, no, Plankton is making crabby patties and stuff. And then the customer is like, hey, like, do you, can you explain this?

this and when you look at it, it looks like a regular burger. But then as soon as it zooms in, does a close-up, there's like a fucking plankboard in there. There's a sock and it's just like, I don't see what's wrong with. Oh my goodness. And it's so insanely fucked up. It's, it's, is this how you get your sick kicks? What?

It's just an ordinary crabby. Oh my goodness. The drawing, I'm like, this is, these people understand us. They understand. Yeah. Those those highly detailed Renders are like drawing The SpongeBob was dried up

And it got like a close upon him And he looked this That was the first episode That was the first episode When he goes to visit Sandy Yo that shit is insane Oh yeah When he's like starving

I don't need it I don't need it I definitely don't need it Yeah The best One of my favorite One of my favorite drawings like that Was

When Squidder was pointing at his own face Oh Does this face look face look unsure to you. And he's so fucked up. There's also when he's like, when Squidward's like eating all the crabby patties when he gets addicted to him and his like thighs are like fucking massive.

He blows up. Before that, when he finally takes the first bite, his lips, his lips go over it. His tiny lips like slowly like chomping down on the tiniest part. It's such a, look man,

that show, like I would argue that that show is just so important to the internet, especially. Yeah. Because I feel like you could draw a lot of, a lot of early YouTube humor, a lot of current YouTube humor, a lot of just like the stuff that you see online

that gets picked up a lot. Even just the title cards, like the time cards of like three hours later. I just used it in my last video. Literally like it's so, it's such an influential show. It's to the point where like I know time cards existed before that show,

but I cannot for the life of me imagine where they were. Like I cannot cite you a time card pre-Spongobbub. I just don't know. way, I don't know where it is. I agree. The scene in the movie when Plankin's getting mad and he's like, and his veins are bulging out of him, there's veins all over his body.

That scene is so funny to me. There's, there's too much comedy gold. Talking about those drawings. I agree with you, actually. I agree. Yeah, I changed my mind. I do agree with you, Chris. Yeah, it is better.

It's interesting. I think there's just a part of me that doesn't want to admit it because the Simpsons has been so important to, like I mean, I have Mr. Sparkle, like Japanese Homer Simpson tattooed on my, my fucking area. Like it's really, really important in me. They did have that good eight seasons. But, like, they had, I would go a lot higher. I think, I think there's some classic, some gyms,

like there's one where Homer goes to Homer and Ned go to Vegas. Two weeks, you know, their own, right? Like, whatever. I feel, yeah. But I say two weeks their own. I definitely, I appreciate a lot of seasons. SpongeBob, the only thing, like, it kind of happened to them, too. They started leaning way heavy into Torrid.

torturing Squidward and it started to upset me. Oh yeah. In the later seasons, they just leaned head, like, because Squidward was just annoyed by proxy. That was basically what was typically happening. Like, say the imagination thing when they're in the box, when they had the TV. Like, he was just annoyed by proxy. They weren't interacting with Squidward. And that's what was so brilliant about it.

Like, he was just being so bothered by that shit. But then it started getting to the point where they were going out of their way to, like, fuck with Squidward. And I was like, this is fucking bullshit. it's upsetting me how much you guys are upsetting Squidward. It was mean-spirited. It's the same problem. I think from what I've heard, though, SpongeBob is actually better now.

Interesting. I heard it got good again. It got, like, it turned around. I know some people who work on it, though, so I don't know. Okay. But, but. Bice. Maybe.

I don't know. It's relevant information, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But I think, yeah, the mean-spiritedness of it, like, definitely got way over the top. It's the same thing that happened to Family Guy. Like, Family Guy, the first three seasons of Family Guy are, like, really, really good. Fantastic. Like some, like, really genuine.

And there's, like, heart in it too. But, like, eventually. Like, every Stuy and Brian episode, those episodes were like... Those episodes are still pretty good, yeah. Like, even the Stui and Brian pairups with the musicals. Yeah. But that's because, like, they lean so heavily into the musicals. And, like, he's just really good at making musicals.

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, those are always good. But, like, the second you started to be like, oh, okay, here's Brian giving people herpes on purpose. And, like, Peter's, like, literally kills his daughter, like, like several times. It's just like... It got a little ridiculous.

It got a bit ridiculous. Like the Pung, the Meg punching bag, got a little bit too... I agree. It was just like this... I get it. It's funny.

It's like shocking, but it's also like completely... It's like, this is a cartoon. Like, there should be some, like, and even the early episodes of Family Guy had this where they had,

there was some heart to it. Peter was like an idiot, but he like cared. He cared about his family. Yeah. But like, now it's just like he's an asshole and he's completely irredeemable as a person.

No, man. I feel you. I'll never I'll never forget I vividly remember watching the episode though with the Pawtucket Brewery where it's like Willy Wonka

Yeah I remember vividly Where I was sitting on the couch And everything because I never laughed that hard In my life When he fucking fell And his knee That was

That shit the first time Yeah that was hilarious I fucking like I was so I was crying And just the entire thing Even the umpa lupa Or chumbo wamba

The Chumbo Wamba song was so funny to me. I still think about every once in a while. What would you do if you're stuck in a chair? You know, like they're just fucking like some weird, some real shit. Like torture. And it's like,

what do you think of the one you call God is in his absence slightly odd? And then maybe he's forgotten you. And I'm like, dude, that is so dark. That is so fucked up. It was really good. That show is really good at like,

music. That show is really good at having like a mean spiritedness that didn't embody itself through the characters. Like, Because that show had a lot of gags like that where it's like really dark humor. Yeah. But all the characters were still like people. Uh-huh.

Yeah. But like it later on it just became like the whole show is mean-spirited. It's like, it's not as fun. Like South Park and stuff can get away with it because like that's like the whole point of that show. That's the basis of that show. And always sunny also. That show was a massive. That show is a phenomenal.

Always sunny is like one of the shows that like it took me a while to get into. But now it's like definitely one of my favorite comedies. It's like, fucking Dennis Reynolds, man. Dude, Dennis is, is your spirit. Dennis is one of the best Dennis is one of the best characters I've ever seen. Not because I like I like him or I identify with him, but because he's the funny. I don't identify with him.

Really? No, not at all. He's just so fucked up. Dennis said shit. Dennis says, Dennis says, Dennis acts out shit that I fucking say as a joke. Dennis, would, Dennis is me if I, if I wasn't joking. Yeah. Like, everything I said was like, exactly what I meant.

When he made, when he made the Dennis system, that was like, that was like, that was when was like, oh, there's no turning back. He's a monster. There's no turning back. That was the worst. That is an iconic moment of television, I think. It's fantastic. The dentist system is so hilarious in how evil it is.

And even just the implication. I don't know if you, have you ever seen... When he's on a cruise ship, and it's like, oh, she's definitely coming on a mask. I've seen the... We're going to get a boat and we're going to invite some chicks out, and then what are they going to? They're going to be out there in the middle of open ocean.

And what are they going to do? They're not going to say no, because of the implication. because it's like It's like what the It's completely implied And it's like And it's like There was a moment

He was talking to a gun and it's like You should take me to your room I want to come to him I'm like actually I would like You'd invite me to your room And I also think you would do it Because you wouldn't You wouldn't dare not

And I was just like What? He's just a monster Absolute fucking psychopath It's funny And Frank Oh man Frank Frank's the devil

I watched some like how they even got How they got him Yeah It was insane because They didn't want him. They thought like, oh, we don't need some fucking A-less snob. Like, we got a tight-knit family. We have something great.

And then it was like, no, it's either you get him or it's not going to be a show. And it's like, okay, well, obviously, we'll get him. And then it turns out to be probably the second best character. Yeah. Like, he's so good. He's without a doubt. The kids and fucking kids at NOM would make shit, right? And then I'd put a cat in the soup, make him eat it, right?

The kids would get sick and they die. Then I'd throw them in a soup too and they'd eat him. He fed kids cats. He fed kids to kids in Vietnam. He fed kids cats. And then when the kids would die from me in the cats, he'd feed the kids. That show, man. Like, even that show is just like one of the few bastions of just like they could do anything.

The most recent season had them in blackface, in like, stereotypical Asian get up. I love it. And it's like Danny DeVito is in it. It's like a dude who's like, who's like on stage at every Bernie rally, you know? And he's also on this show that's just like it's it's that show I love because it's just so emblematic of good people doing the like good people as far as like the cast and the crew. Yeah. Like they're all like really stand up people and they're just doing the worst shit that they can on television because they know it's funny. Yeah.

The shit that they say to Mac. How DeAnda's called a bitch every fucking episode. You stupid. Oh yeah. You fucking bird. Every fucking episode. So there was a moment where I think Charlie Punning. turn to face.

That show... That probably happened. That show and I think Seinfeld and a couple others are perfect examples of just like shows that get away with the things that they get away with because you know that the characters are just terrible.

They're not redeemable in any way. And I think the biggest thing is, and this is why, like say, this is, I talked about South Park recently, so did you. And the thing that bothers me about South Park now, and it's been for years, really, because my favorite episodes and seasons of South Park was when they were like it's always sunny

and Seinfeld. They were just doing shit. Like we have this idea and let's just flesh it out and then it was great. Then they started, oh, we got to, there's morals here. There's a point to this now. And I was like, fuck this shit. It was still fun.

I still enjoyed it. But overall, it started to get to the point where now it's disgust politically and that people are writing papers on this bullshit. I don't want to hear about that when I'm watching fucking South Park. And so if fucking, it's a lot of, Sunny or Seinfeld ever did something like that and had a teachable moment, it would sour it.

And then it'll bring in the critics to where they're going to dissect it in that way. They're going to make it something that it wasn't. Yeah, that's what makes the show as good is that there are no lessons. Yeah, there's nothing. They're just doing things. That was one of the things that that's one of the reasons why I know like Seinfeld is like an old kind of sitcom. It's like a friend's style show. Yeah.

But like it really is like the foundational DNA of that like this is a show meant to make you laugh. And that's it. And that's the purpose of it. It's not about like... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram,

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. characters relationships it's not about anything it's just this is funny laugh at it and these characters are just not redeemable yeah always sunny was immediate the first episode is the gang gets racist yeah yeah it's like they're trying to get a black friend they're their first episode that was so episode was hilarious from the getco it's immediately clear that you're dealing with like a a group of fucking neerduos it's just like the worst group of just monsters and like the last season

of Seinfeld they they're like burning a Puerto Rican day they're burning a Puerto Rican flag during the Puerto Rican Day parade and they're like harassing these like one the antagonist in that episode are these two gay Puerto Ricans keep stealing right who just keep stealing shit from it's like this is ridiculous I remember like my family loved that episode that because it was like oh we're Puerto Rican family it's like this is so cool yeah this is so cool to see like our shit on Seinfeld yeah and then that episode got taken off the air that's a band that's a band that's an a band episode really it's banned they took Well, it's on the seasons, and it's like you could buy them and watch them on Hulu.

But, like, at the time, it aired, and then they immediately took it off. Like, it didn't air on reruns anywhere. That's crazy. Because you burned a Puerto Rican flag and, like, no Puerto Rican that I knew gave a shit. Yeah. That shit was funny. I didn't hear anyone in my family bitch. That's all it always is.

It's like, do you know any black people, for example, that were mad about lethal weapon five or anything when fucking? No, everyone laughed at it. Dude, that shit is so fucking funny. You know, that episode is so ridiculous. That's an always sunny episode. Lethal Weapon 6 is even more ridiculous. Yeah, because they stepped it up. Because Mac is in blackface and they're in the shower and it's washing off.

And then at the end, Dennis takes his role. They swap character again. And then D is in blackface as well. Yeah. That shows so good. it's fucking it's so that's truly great television

it's the mindset that's funny it's like the mindset that that the characters have to embody that allows them to make those decisions that makes it funny like is people always make the like weird assumption that like when you're laughing at that you're laughing at the people that the

that it's like when you're laughing at when you're laughing at Mac and Blackface you're like laughing at Black people and it's like no you don't understand it's stupid we're laughing at the people the type of person who would think that it would be

okay to do that. Yeah. It doubles back to like a lot of thing. Like when I say I'm Thompson, we hate the gays, it's like, I say it as like, I'm, and buying a character as like, who the fuck really thinks that? Who thinks that little of a group? Well, also, as we demonstrated earlier, that's not what you said. Yeah.

But even the implication now that what's out. People understand it. That's the way that they see it. That's the way they see it. And that's why, that's why this stuff, it's so fucking important. It's important to be able to laugh at things. Yes. Because some things are just funny.

Like, some things are funny, and it's funny that people will even have the idea. There are real people that think those ideas are true. It's especially frustrating because, like, when I started doing YouTube specifically, like, whenever, when I started doing political stuff, I remember, like, the whole point of it was that I wanted to embody some kind of voice that was like, hey, you can be very liberal. You know, you could be a Bernie boy. Yeah. And still laugh. at ridiculous shit.

There's still room for that. That is still, that is still a thing. Because for a while it felt like that was just not a thing. Yeah. Like you couldn't, like you couldn't be a progressive person

and also have a sense of humor. Have a sense of humor. Yeah, I feel you. And it's, it's off putting to me that like, that's viewed as like right wing now.

Yeah, it's bad. Unless it was. Maybe it's not so bad now. I think it's ease up. It's not as bad. People are starting to realize that they're like,

okay, well, being a little bit ridiculous. I've seen a lot of people, back off of a lot of different people. Like, I was actually, it was baffling to me to see people label you as that. I saw, like, I understood why I was labeled that way, especially because I was like, if anybody wants to talk to me, I'll go on your fucking show.

I don't care. What do you want to talk about? So I talked to Stephen Crowder, for example. This was before I really even knew exactly who he was. I was like, oh, he's some fucking guy with a big-ass show. Yeah. But he's completely conservative. and he had some really retarded ideas that I've, you know, like,

him in a video trying to, I don't even, I didn't even, I still don't understand what it was, but he was trying to, like, debunk or say the AIDS epidemic was kind of like a hoax or something. Oh, yeah, he said, like, the AIDS epidemic wasn't real. It was the way, I didn't understand. It's, what, dude, he's insane. I don't even know what the point of that is. Why would you even, I can't even.

What is the point of that? What even, let's just say, thought about that. Him and somebody who, I don't know. The only thing, because this is what my thought process was, let's say, let's entertain and say that that's true. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. com. APUS.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $1.20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recover. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. What does that do? What is the point of that? Yeah, there's literally no forward.

Like, once you, even if you agreed with that, like, what's the next step? Like, where do you go from here? Like, where do you go from that? It's like, okay, AIDS was fake. Okay. How do you explain everybody who's dead now? There's nothing. There's nothing. Explain Freddie Mercury to me.

Like, literally, like, what do you mean? Like you said, well, what it was like, oh, it's not an epidemic. Like, why? What does that, what does that do? What does that do? Let's just say that only, it's like the, what is it called?

The Holocaust denial? Yeah, it's like that. Yeah. It's like the same thing as, it's the same principle where there's people out there, like Fuentes, for example, you named John, where he's like, oh, not as many died as they said.

And I'm like, let's just entertain your bullshit theory. If that's true, what the fuck is the, no, I just want to say, let's say it was a cover up or something. What's the point?

A bunch of people still died. you're not you're saying less people died what is what it's a softening magnitude it it reminds me of like even killing like a thousand people that way is so fucking horrific like it's like what is this it reminds me of Bloomberg being like I gave I I employ 20,000 people I only I only had 64 women sign non-disclosure agreement what about the other what about the thousands of people who don't who haven't and it's like what do you mean you still it's still so many it's just it's still it's still more that's still more than it should be by any standard of measurement.

It's more, it's more than it should be for a single person. So it's like, I don't know, man. Yeah, that whole thing. But I was just saying that, just came back to the original thing, I was just saying that I didn't understand why you were being, it was so asinine for me that anyone was labeling you right wing because there was absolutely nothing there. There was nothing there. Yeah, they never give good examples.

Like every time I ask people, they never give good examples. They give these like two out of context tweets and that's it. Which ones? I don't even remember. I think, I think. There was a while ago, oh, like I said like penis plus penis equals gay or something like that. Oh, like a long time ago. That was like super red wing.

I don't know. It's not. I don't know. It's not very. Because you're like, you're not. You're like really. You know what's funny? You know what the funniest thing about all this is is that there are people who like I remember

back in the day like people like Christy Winters. Yeah. And like, like, those people who like were just totally like what you would consider like a quote unquote SJW or whatever back in the day. And like you would consider like. me super far right compared to them and them super far left. But like, if you look at their feeds now, it's so objectively obvious that I am like 50 times more left wing than any of those people.

And the comedy in that is substantial. It is. I can't believe it. It's so, to say, I don't. I think it's all. And also because like I do the podcast with Colin and Colin's conservative. Oh no. And that's like, that's like, it's definitely the association thing because that's why people

consider me conservative. And I was okay with that because I'm like, all right, these people, they're not fans of me. They don't listen to me. They don't watch me. So they, this have surface. Oh, he went on Stephen Crowder's show or, oh, he talked to Paul Joseph Watson. So he's conservative.

And I was like, I can talk to anybody, bro. Like, I get, it's, and the thing is, but people that actually listen to me. And every once in a while, people that were, there were some people that would follow me that were conservative. And then they'd be like, sad or angry when I would be like, yeah, I don't really have any conservative ideals. Like, sorry. where I was streaming last night and we started somehow Oh, I got a super chat of

Who are you voting for? And all I said was I don't really, I said like, I don't know what's going to happen If there's still time for the DNC To fuck Bernie Sanders I don't know what's going to happen If that does happen

If that happens, there's absolutely nobody I can relate to it all that's even there And like to the presidency, to me It's like a wash. I'm like, I don't fucking, I don't want any this shit or whatever Not a wash, that's a wrong thing to say but I just, it's just almost even irrelevant to me. The motivation is gone.

So the whole thing is, but I was saying, we got into a little thing about, I was like, the propaganda of Bernie. I was like, guys, the way that people say that Trump is Hitler and that fascism's here now and everything, I was like, they're doing the same thing for Bernie by saying, oh, he wants to turn the United States into Venezuela or something.

Yeah. And I was saying, do you know how fucking stupid that sounds? I'm like, do you think that even, let's say Bernie Sanders becomes president, Do you think he has the power A country that big and powerful Could turn into and fail like Venezuela How fucking stupid are you?

It's insane because if he would do that He would just get impeached He wouldn't even get a chance to do shit like that The whole country would like get him out of office It would be pretty a smooth like It's look The economy The bubble burst when Obama was there

And he was chilling I'm saying like, guys, I was like, relax. Your lives have only changed ever so slightly through different presence through our lifetimes. Mostly everything's been the same and only slight little differences. None of people I know. And I know there's other people, obviously. Small statistics that some people got fucked or something from big things.

That's always going to happen, unfortunately. But majorly, people, the world spends on and like in the Western, like, we're going to be all right. We usually make it. So it's like, guys, calm down. And I said that I was just like being objective from when I've listened to like Bernie, for example. It sounds like he wants the United States to be like Scandinavia. He wants it to be like Sweden and Norway and how they do shit with health care and all that stuff. And I was like, I've been to Norway and it was fucking amazing. And everyone was happy

and gorgeous. Yeah. Well, they're kicking. They're also just kicking our ass in a lot of areas. And health and all that shit. Yeah. To me, it's especially American because it's like, don't you want to be the best that everything? That's the whole point of this country, like literally we're the best. We're the best. We have this, we have this idea that we're the best. but we refuse to be the best. And we refuse, we refuse to take steps. We probably could. We probably could. We absolutely could.

We have the power. We have the money to be the best, but we're just not. So it's like money disappears. The money is going into, yeah, it disappears. And there are legitimate grievances. I get it. Like you can vote. This is not like about voting for whoever. Like, go for whoever you want. That's very true.

But we're all left, but like don't listen to us to make your choice of voting. You mean you make down your own. We're just content creators. Yeah. But also just the idea that like, I just think it's funny that somebody like me was ever called right wing at all because it's always just like a handful of tweets that are just inherently

misquoted whereas like there's like literally if you wanted to see every left leaning take that I had on Twitter there would be literally thousands you could you would have no shortage of examples they ignore all of it it's they ignore all of it

except for the handful of like weird things that like aren't fully elaborated that are out of context as a response to something that you tweeted and it's ridiculous yeah One of the earliest videos I made when my YouTube started to kind of blow up a little bit was because there was a lot of charges against Trump that a lot of buzzwords and all this stuff

that people were saying that I'm like, you guys are wasting time. You're being idiots. Like there's a lot of things that you could probably you could find and criticize them for. For real. Yeah. And so I made a video because it said

defending Trump is not an endorsement. And I explained that I'm saying get off of that whole like just he's this, he's that, he's that, and they find the real dirt and then promote that, you know. And so, but I said like, it's not an endorsement because that ain't my fucking guy. No, it's just, it's just principled. Yeah, if you say, like, because there's a, like, because I remember there was a big thing, like, probably like 2017 or 2016.

I can't remember when. Yeah. But, like, he went to Japan or something and he was, like, feeding a coy pond. He was, like, feeding, like, coy in a coy pond. or whatever. And on CNN, they showed him, like, dumping all the food in. He's like, oh, my God, this fucking idiot. I remember that.

He's going to, like, overfeed the coy, and they're all going to die. And they cropped the image when the guy from Japan, I can't remember where this was, but the guy that he was visiting, who was a native to that area who, like, basically had him out there to do that, also dumped all the food in. So, like, they literally cropped somebody out to make him look like he was doing. something wrong. It's like, you don't have to do that. Exactly. Like, because that's stupid because then I have to go and defend him. Exactly.

That's just stupid. Because it's just it's principle. You just have to understand it's like, I'll do the same thing for anybody. Anybody. If there's somebody that I don't like, everyone in East Sarkeesian was banned on Twitter. And I was like, what the fuck? There's no, there's no grounds for that. Yeah, exactly. I don't like that person, you know, at all.

Yeah. But like, if, look, man, if something, if something, yeah, fair is fair. If something is wrong and you see somebody like, purposefully manipulating truths or purposefully lying to further their own opinions or positions, even if their positions are accurate and right and deserve to be forwarded, they shouldn't be using lies to do it. Yeah, perfect.

Perfect example. So just, if you see that, should call it out, because it really does matter. It shows that we care about what's accurate. Yeah, I don't know.

This is a long one. This is a longer episode than normal. You made it to make up for the last one? Yeah, I guess the last one was a little bit shorter. Thank you guys for listening. My God, I don't even know what the hell the thumbnail for this. It could be cars and the word sex over cars.

Sex. Sex. Thanks again to everybody who supports us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. Remember, you can donate as little as a dollar a month, and you can get every episode early. $5 for questions and $10 to get your name read at the end of the show like this. Like so, all of our following producers. Uh, O Dolphin, a deplorable, Adrian Royal, Aetherian, Alex Jones. Still supporting us.

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Thank you all. There's so many Sweenes. The list is continuing to grow. Thank you guys for all the fucking ridiculously long. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. Yeah, man, it means a lot. Hopefully, we're getting to the point where it's at the end of February now.

I think we'll only have one other episode probably this February. Yeah, we have one more for like the 29th, I think. Yeah, yeah, probably. Oh, yeah, fuck, it's 29th. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wait, is there a 29th? Yes, it is directly.

Oh, weird. I hate that. Yeah, it is weird. So we got one more this month, and then next month we're going to start making the moves towards getting some video out for you guys. The video podcast, because that's like a very different thing, I edit the audio very, very particularly. I cut out a lot of the silences, and I cut out, like, a lot of the smaller breaks. The video will probably not have as much editing in it. I think what I'm assuming is, like, because it's going to be harder to jump cut between sentences.

It looks fucking weird. So what I figure is the video will be a little bit more of an uncrower. cut type of thing. There will still be edits, but it'll be a little bit less stitched together. And the visual or the audio podcast will remain very tightly knit. That's

at least my theory going forward is the best way to go about it. Thanks for supporting us. Means a ton. You guys all matter to us. Fuck me. Piss on me. Beat me. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University

is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU.org.org. Hi, everyone. This is Mariah Rose, co-host a full circle and the creator behind Hoops for hodies. Whenever I'm headed out to a workout first thing in the morning or getting ready to yab about sports with the girls, I'm drinking Gatorade Lower Sugar. I've always been

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