The Snark Tank - #112: FAST AND MORBIUS

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Ethan Ralph gets beaten up in Portugal AGAIN, Morbius is sweeping the nation and we get serious for a moment to talk about the recent tragedy in Texas. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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That's Jurassic. That's like a Jurassic Park Transformers collaboration, bro. Hey, look, he's a little dead mean. Soi Dora. Can you say, Ethan Rouse? in Portugal? Again, bro. Again.

Was he in Portugal? Again. He went to Lisbon. What's Lisbon? Lisbon is the capital of Portugal. Oh my God. Why does he keep going back to Portugal? It might be nice.

This is the full breakdown. No one really understands it fully, but at the same time, they're trying to understand it from his point of view. Because it doesn't make sense to any normal person with a normal functioning brain. So Ethan Ralph, for a time, captain of the internet blood sports,

if you guys don't remember what that is, it was like the Jerry Springer of, of quote-unquote debates in this spear of the internet, just a bunch of degenerates, screaming obscenities and expletives at each other. Which, by the way, which, by the way, good idea, really hindered by the fact that it wasn't in person.

I think that shit live would have been sick. Yeah, definitely been. It would have been a moment in time. It would have been pretty cool because it would have been nice and I definitely would have watched it. It was kind of like when Canis Owens and Blair White were screaming at each other. And they saw the dread of Dave Rupertman look like he was about to die. Could you imagine?

Could you imagine like you're just, you're debating somebody right? You're not ready for that. You're not ready. You're like you're there. You just come with facts. You know, you're like a proper debate or you come with like facts. You're going to threat the person. And then some.

someone starts calling you like wild shit while you're just trying to do it. It's like you fucking. That's the base, man. That's essentially internet bloodsports. Everything. You're an N word. There's these guys that exist in this space. They use like nigger, like just the soft A more commonly than most black folk that you'll encounter.

It's fucking weird. Like there's this guy I forgot his name It has this dude with a beard He's a part of that whole Spear something Beard something Beardly or something like that

Yeah I'm not gonna know It's something like that It's there's a beard I just remember there's a beard And he was a part of a documentary Of um Louis Thoreau Talking about

Nicholas Flint is in the alt-right Or America First Same shit And this guy This beard guy was on it And he like chased him off the property Get off my property or some shit But like

Like this guy just drops the N-bomb. Like, I was, like, looking at one of his streams. And I'm like, am I, is, is this Fat Joe? I'm like, am I just listening to Fat Joe stream? I don't know what's happening. It was so weird. Oh, before we, before we keep going, I just wanted to bring this up. I don't know if this is true or not, but I saw people talking about how Nick Fuentes got caught watching trans porn.

I think it is true. But I think it's true, but. I think it's 100% true that he got caught. And I will say before we move forward, I will touch on that for a second because I think it's just beautiful because back in 2018, I did an episode of Twitter trash. And I was just making fun of him for tweeting out, we must eradicate porn because every time you see those people, they're always the first people that are just consuming it and just dangerous amounts to their health. Just gross. Cascity, bro. He's watching porn.

He's watching porn when he wakes up. He just. Oh. He's got so much porn open at any given time that his games effectively, like, noticeably run worse. He has, there's like, maybe, there's like maybe 40 tabs open. Of just hard part. In safari, there's 15 in Chrome. They all got volume.

He's just watching them all at the same. It's a, it's a, it's a cacophony of penises being shoved inside of fucking pussy's an asshole. It's just violent. I remember the first time The first time I had dual monitors I put eight windows of porn simultaneously Because you know You can just put like

Oh yeah the corners Yeah so I put in it I never did it again because I was like This is this is like tapping into like god power Like you can't you can't do that You can't if and I feel like these people do this on a regular basis And that's why they're fucked You know it was too much porn dude

It's like Iron Man is like moving shit in the movie. What's funny about that is if I were, if I were to come across that situation, I wouldn't even necessarily like, I feel like the more windows of porn are open at any given time that anybody's, that's on somebody's screen at once, the less I assume they're doing something shady for whatever reason, because it looks productive. Like it looks like, it looks like the, what is it, the security cameras where it's like, you can't possibly be watching this.

That's a good point. There's too much to focus on. Like, is it some dick? See, what you had to do, you had to back up a little bit. You had to back up a little bit. So you couldn't be too close to the screens, right? Because you can't consume it all. Because you have to, like, look a little bit.

So you back up. And then what you do, what you do is, what you do is you do is. The part of the, with the chick, when she's about to reach the big O, like, is the orgasm. Like, if that's what you're into, like, I like a lot of that solo shit. If I'm ever feeling a little squirley. So you would line it up. So, and then you would just fucking, like, hit play as the all, like,

just about to reach. reach the maximum. And then you essentially shatter your soul because man is not meant to experience this. Like it was just it was so orchestrated ever so elegantly bounce.

It was like fucking. That would be so scary to see. That you walk into somebody's room. Hey, how's it going? And there's 10 windows of porn on both of their monitors and he's got the conductor six. And chicks just squirting all over the place Two notes, three notes, four notes, five

Just fucking going and all of it at once And you just see him slowly become opaque And you ever see a Disappears You ever see fucking William Defoe in Budak Saints When he's at a crime scene? No, I don't remember that Oh my, I don't remember it

I know I've seen it He puts on his walkman, you know, with the disc or whatever I can't remember, or it might have been a tape player. It was long enough ago, it was either or. He would put on classical music, and he'd be doing that shit. He'd be doing conductor shit and, like, looking at, like, the, you know, like the little crime scenes and shit like that. And I will grab that clip and put that over what I'm saying so everybody that's watching

can see. But it is that to a T. And it's great because he's such a perfect character. He seems like he would do something like that in that movie because he's such an anomaly where If you guys haven't seen Boudna's sakes, you should watch it. It's actually a really good movie, despite how it bombed in fucking theater. But let's go back to Ethan Ralph.

We're so goddamn far away from it. We're so far away from it. So Ethan Ralph, right, he's from Bloodsports, and he had this big stream. It's not doing so well anymore. Andy Worski, a guy that I used to consider a friend back in, like, 2017, was streaming or partners with Ethan Ralph at some point. They had a falling.

out. And so now they're enemies. Andy Worski is Portuguese. He has family that lives in Portugal. So Ethan Ralph being a vindictive piece of trash, he thought, oh, I'm going to go to Portugal and find Andy Worski's sister and I'm going to go fucker or something. So basically he's just saying he's going to sexually assault this woman. He's going to go flying and he's just trying to own Andy Worski. And so the first time he goes, he has this expensive. of man purse shows up, gets jumped by four dudes. They just beat the brakes off of him to where his eyes are like just orbs and then fucking he has to go to the hospital for a week because, you know,

his orbit chat. Like he's fucked. His eyes, one of them is never the same. So you thought he would learn his lesson though. He then later he gets beaten up again at a bowling alley. He doesn't event in Texas. somebody fucking does an en banc elbow to his face. It's fucking hilarious.

I've never seen that before outside of a fucking mixed martial arts. Somebody just elbowing someone on the fucking face. And then fast forward to what, two, three days ago? Like literally two years ago. Just something like that, like two or three days ago, whatever it was. He's back in Lisbon, Portugal, trying to own Andy. I guess nobody had a real explanation. to why he went, but it has to be that.

And then there's a streamer. There was a YouTuber that I actually used to know. His name would be Cognitive Thought. Yeah. And so Cognitive Thought, he now just goes by backwards internet. He just streams.

He lives in the UK, got a cheap-ass ticket with one of his friends to go to Portugal to find Ethan Ralph. And Ethan Ralph was threatening, like, oh, you're not going to do shit. Like, go ahead, show up. They found him.

And then, like, Cog's friend was like, hey, let's go confront him. Cog says, no, it's in too public. Like, it's too public right now. So he's being reasonable, but just stalking Ethan Ralph because it's, I guess, funny to these people. Ethan Ralph, being the genus he is, walks right up to them and then starts attacking them. Cog's friend is infinitely bigger than Ethan Ralph, because Ethan Ralph's like 5-1, if that. Like if that That's a generous assessment

So this guy puts him down Four times He fucking beats him It's the the footage Is just him getting Beaten Continuously

Fish hooked Pushed Like and I mean like Push the way that you would push a baby down At one point Ethan's trying to like get up And the guy just like Lays him down

And it's the It's the saddest fucking thing I've ever seen He's sitting Indian style on the floor with a little bit of blood on him Flipping off the camera while that guy cog is just making pig noises and shit What the hell? One thing I do, One thing I do have to say, man, It is shot so terribly

It is it is shot so poorly that it adds to the comedic value of it Because you're like, What the fuck is this guy's shooting? It looks like they are walking like a car accident would happen. Like, it's a very, I don't know how to describe the twists and turns that camera does in this man's hand. One thing is, it's like a bay blade. You absolutely, you're absolutely right, dude.

One thing that is apparent because of that bad camera angle, you can tell Cog is nervous as fuck. He's not steady. He's not like just filming the action. His friend is beating him continuously. and at points you can see almost nothing where I'm like dude just point the camera forward

but what he was probably doing was looking at all of the the bystanders looking at all the Portuguese people honking their horns and then some random chick came up and was trying to like help save he was getting roughed up so bad he was like I got to help him

he'll die I got to he should probably goes I have to help this baby this man's assaulting this baby of the street. I got to help him. It's like that video it's like that video of the little person who gets thrown off the school bus. Oh my God.

Oh, dude, that is amazing. He's like, that's not a kid. The funny part, the funny part is that that part, there's so much going on with this New York and it's noisiest shit. And then that one line breaks the noise and it's like, that's not a kid. One person just says it.

It's like the Harry Potter twist it's insane that's not a kid what could it be if not a kid and then they turn and it's a full ass man I don't know I still don't understand that fucking video

that's New York that's New York he was probably just trying to get a free ride the school was probably so the school was probably near where he worked so it was like I'm gonna get on this bus I'm gonna get on his bus to get home quick quicker because you don't have to pay for a school bus or you have to do is get on it.

Do you crack the code? And then he was just trying to get some. He had no bad intentions. He wasn't trying to bother anybody. He was just trying to get home for free. But he had a whole disguise. He had a whole disguise and everything. You know what's so good though?

You know what's so good? He spent more money on his disguise than paying for bus fare. But the thing is, like, if he doesn't get caught, that disguises forever. Exactly. It'll pay off the investment. It'll appreciate eventually to the point that like this, it's like when you buy a freaking witch card, a capture card. Like, capture card for a freaking one, a good one is a little bit of money, you know,

but like it'll eventually pay itself off time and time again. Dude, that's literally the same reason I haven't bought one. I was just like, God, this is kind of expensive. I don't want it. It's like $300, right? Mine was like $300. I think mine was like $200. And I was like, oh, this is pay off.

There's some cheaper ones now. You gotta get O'Gado. That guy, that guy would have been able to get away with it. That guy would have been able to get away with it if it was the pandemic because he would have had a mask on and nobody would have known. Like for real, like he would have picked the wrong time. He even had the hood. Like he looked, he was pretty well. Dude, there are people on the street being like, yo, what the fuck's your problem?

That's a kid. You know, but unfortunately, unfortunately at the end of the day, they found out. That's what was going through that woman's mind. It was like, I got to have, that young portly boy is going to beat up by this fucking full-grown man. I love that. I love that. I love that,

too. Essentially was the same, it was the same thing. Yeah, exactly the same thing. He just got beat up on a live stream in Portugal again. Portugal is not kind to Ethan Ralph. I,

I, it's so funny too because it's shot so poorly. So, like, when you do see Ethan, it's like Bigfoot footage. It's like from the, It's like these, it's like these blurry angles. And then like you just see like quick snapshots of his face like like swooshed up around.

The way he's lying on the floor and the picture you send it to the group chat is fucking golden. He looks like he looks like someone broke the limbs of a fucking chicken. His body's just bent in all sorts of ways. He looks horrible. He looks. I had I had somebody on Twitter being like assault isn't funny. And I had to respond. All I said was like, I mean, it's Ethan, so it's funny.

Like, it's really that simple. Like, this dude does it to himself. Like, he didn't have to be assaulted. It's not like he was just walking down the street, mining his own business. And then someone assaulted him. He provokes all of this shit. Even with people, even with people who are like going to fuck with him, they only do that because they know he'll fucking respond. So, of course.

Why would you not? What makes it funny is that. Ethan Ralph sucks, right? He's fucking terrible. And I feel bad for him because in my heart, I'm like, this is a guy that doesn't understand he sucks as much as he does, you know? He doesn't get it. Like, he doesn't know the joke yet.

Like, for him, it's, like, why does everybody fucking hate me? Why don't have such a hard time? God damn, I'm going to go to, fucking, I'm going to go to Portugal and fuck this guy's sister. I'm gonna release fucking vengeance porn on somebody. Like, why is everybody need to me? I don't think he, I don't think he has a self-awareness to care that people don't like it. Like, I genuinely do, I do genuinely think like he's just so,

like, I don't, like, people are like, oh, Ethan's pretty tough. He's going out there getting beat up and he's taking all these punches. And it's like, I don't think he's smart enough to understand what pain means. Like, I do, it's not, I don't think he's tough. Like, it's like you can't be brave. if you're not afraid of anything. That's not what bravery is. Bravery is being afraid of something

and doing it anyway. Like, Ethan Ralph is not like, he's not a tough person. He's just too stupid to get it. He's going to get beat to shit. He's going to die when they probably in Portugal. Eventually. If he goes back to Portugal again.

Yo, he's tempting fate. He can't, he's getting sold. Ethan has made me, he's making me a believer in an entity. He's making me believe in God because I feel like he was put on this earth for a purpose. And that purpose is to entertain us. I've never seen this before. I've never seen somebody who's so driven to humiliate himself for the, for the, for the, for us, for everybody to profit and talk

about him and have a great time. I don't think he gets. I don't think he understands the canon. But how could he not? Like, you know, everybody that surrounds him is like, begging because he he uh the the the girl there's this girl uh i know her username is pansu i don't know her real name i know she used to date a guy named digi bro i think jiddy bro's trans i shouldn't even say that date uh uh whatever but you know what i mean so they're in that circle and that's how ethen ralph got beaten up at that house because it was a digie bro live there or something like he got beat up he he's always getting beat up he yeah yeah he trespassed into a house Then he got beat up by a girl and somebody else.

He got beat up pretty bad. And, you know, his gun was showing pretty nice. But now his, this is the best footage we've ever seen of his gun. It's like just so at one, there's a screenshot that's been circulating around where it legitimately looks like a small ass on his stomach. Like, it just, like, it just doesn't make sense. I've never seen, like, I have a gut. Like, most of the fat on my body is, like, on my gut. It just goes there pretty well, but it's not, I've never seen like such a sep, like it has a buttocks.

There is creases. There's cheeks that you can pull apart. I'm actually curious if there's a butthole there because I've never seen that before. It folds in on itself. And then another thing I've never seen. And I think I mentioned on the last podcast, he has quad tits. That's a, that is, that's literally like the most, I've never seen tits sitting on top. of tits.

You ever see... I've never seen that before. You ever see that image of what a human being would look like if he was perfectly evolved to survive a car accident? Yes. No, what is that? What is that? You've never seen that before?

He reminds me of something... You gotta see that shit, dude. He is that... I'll send it to you. I'll text it to you, Kingston. Look it up on your phone. I was going to say, I was going to say, like, dude. I'll text it to you, Kingston, because it's...

you can't do it. That sounds so great. A human meant to survive car accidents. Right. Are you looking it up? How are you doing that with the... No, I'm not looking it up.

I'm just fucking wondering. Yeah, he's just like, what do you call it? Or the humans aren't supposed to... Humans aren't designed to take impacts anywhere. So this is what a human would look like. If it were designed... I'm sending it to the group chat. Be ready.

Be ready. Yeah. I just remember it just looked like this grotesque fucking blob. It looks like fucking juggernaut, dude. It looks like anorex. It's like anorexing juggernaut. It's like juggernaut lost all of it. But only is, it's like the opposite of a fucking animal.

You know, like animals only get fat in their body and their head. are the same. It's like the fucking opposite. I've never been. I he looks like a caterpillar and a man would I can't believe you've ever seen that. It seems like something that you would have seen.

I like those shells, those hard shells on his ribs or whatever. Those things are pretty cool. Anyway, that's the story. That is the most recent story of Ethan Ralph. Welcome the Star Tank podcast. Let's go.

I never said that. But, you know, we've got, there's some stuff. I can't keep fighting. There's some stuff to speak of, you know. I think that's pretty much all we can talk about with the Ethan Ralph stuff, right? I know he's supposed to fight Andy Worski at some point. I don't know if that's actually going to happen.

Well, I will, that's actually, this is the last thing I'll say we can definitely move on. He was supposed to, not going to anymore. Keemstar specifically came out and said, I can't let you fight because, like, your performance, that was so embarrassing and so pathetic when he saw that stream, that there's no way he'd put him in the ring with anybody. And I actually 100% agree. That way it was too embarrassing to where I've, and I've said this on stream before, I've been jumped by three people while I was drunk and wearing flip-flops.

Spotty as my memory was, I fought back as much as I. could. I even made space so I can see all three of the guys where I'm like, oh, okay, there's three of them. So I try to give myself some space and then just try to fin them up. You try. I've never seen somebody act so tough and posture and then just get knocked down, sit Indian style like a pathetic fucking like Humpty Dumpty and then just flip off the camera. He started flipping off the camera and just sitting there so pathetically. Bro, have you ever seen pictures of Humpty Dumpty? He has the same. fucking body.

All the fat goes to it. Like it's all in his torso. And then his legs are like regular human like a like a he has legs of a guy that's in fucking just in normal shape. Like it makes no sense that his legs were just attached to an egg. That's what it kind of looks like. But yeah, it was pathetic. The boxing matches off.

Unfortunately, because I was really, we all wanted to see. I did. But I didn't because I felt like it would have been very grim. It would have been funny for a moment. Of course it would have. It would have been funny for a moment, then it would have got, like, real sad. Like... It would have been, like, when dad fought that other dude.

It just would have been like that. Yeah, it would have just been like that. It would have been a quick-ass-lobbing. Way worse than that. It would have been way worse. Because, like, at least Matt and Dad are, like, similar heights. Like, Ethan Ralph, is... I don't think he's tall enough to, like, go on roller coasters.

Like, he's so small. Like, I think... And yet so wide. He's... Probably too fucking heavy to be on them, too. And Ralph would have got hit, fell down. And on his way up, he would have, like, he would have fell down. And him getting up would have fucked the whole vibe up.

Like him's trying to stand up would have fucked everyone's not. I would have been like, yo, this isn't funny. Like, what are we doing here? Like, he had, like, a Rocky one where he, like, he still loses. But, like, you know, he was still so current. And Rocky, in Rocky, one, it was like, oh, good, get up, Rocco, you got this. For Ethan, Rother, it would be like, oh, no. Why did everyone?

His is okay. His Rocky moment was that he would be punched in the head and then he'd go home talking like Rocky. Yeah. You, Adrian, I did it. Yes, you were right. I did it. That hit to the head did a lot of damage to me. My brain has cracks in it.

I can't really think this. I go stream. I hate you, Andy Wozki. I really can't think. My memories aren't what they used to be. I can't think of them as they way. I can't remember. I can't remember.

I can't remember my memories. My memories. My memories. I'm different now. My brain don't work with them no more. Maybe. All right. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Oh, the peace of resistance. The creme de la creme. And then we'll move on. It's just that while he has two kids now, you know, I feel so bad for those. Yeah, I feel so bad for those women. Is that legal?

It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. But unfortunately, you know, you can't turn someone sperm. Well, actually you can. But you can't legally turn someone sperm off, unfortunately. So he has a kid that, you know, he has to pay child support. And that money that to use for child support went to Portugal, which is awesome. And he has a new kid.

He has a new kid. There's one that was taken away from him, because of course. And then the other one with this new girl. and instead of staying home, you know, it's a new kid, being with his family and his new wife, he's getting beaten up in Portugal. So you just got to give it up for the dedication. Like, I can't imagine being like a married person with a child

and wanting to be anywhere, like, away from them. I want to make sure I'm right there providing for them and not in Europe getting my face smashed in. So I'm telling you, I'm sorry. starting to feel pretty religious now because I think an entity put this being on this earth

for us he's he's like Jesus in a way the fact that you're in my face telling me right now he's going to die for our sins he died for what what you gain faith in God because of fucking Ethan

Ralph instead of dying for our sins he's dying for our entertainment it. That's pretty holy. That's your goddamn mouth. I hate you. That's pretty. That's pretty. Oh,

All right. All right. Oh, man. As he fucking slowly turns off. Why you keep me in my face? All right, let's go. Let's go. All right, let's move on.

So what do we want to? What do we want? Let's see. So right now, uh, right now the Johnny Depp, Amber Heard thing is, like, as we record this, it's in deliberation. So it's possible that there might be a verdict by the end of this.

It would be really annoying if we stop the show and it happens because that's going to be exactly what I keep talking about where it's just like, oh, nothing fucking happened. So I'm going to keep it, I'm going to keep Twitter kind of open on the side and keep an eye on it just in case. But I guess what we should talk about is the unfund thing. which is this whole gun conversation that's happening and a lot basically we all know what happened we all know like that there's a shooting in an elementary school

very very sad it's fucked up but this is probably the first time that I've ever seen just everybody unanimously just like wow what the like just shitting on those cops it's the first time I've ever seen that like unanimous like there are people on like the right doing it there are people on the left doing it everybody in between is like what the fuck is up with these people and it's as I don't want to call it a silver lining because it's like fucked so don't this is happening at all but you know what I mean it's like

it's like it's nice to see that everyone just like can see this for what it is for once which is just like wow that's really pathetic right like your fucking police officers I had somebody I had one person reply to me today because I posted like a meme it was like that It was like that cuphead sunflower meme where it was just like, you know, where he's like in boss mode. And it's like, oh, when a black man sells cigarettes versus when a teenager kills an entire school full of children. But, you know, I had one person being like, why is it the cop's responsibility? And everybody, everybody, like, I'm pretty sure like that. Yeah, everybody was just like, are you stupid? Are you dumb?

I can't. That's so awesome. So that's awesome. This situation is so depressing. Yeah. That my brain is finding it so hard to make jokes about it. Like I want to make say shit about it and laugh, but I'm just so sad about it.

You can make jokes. Finding those things. Exactly. Finding those posts like that is what's pulling me out of it. Because it's like, because just because, you know, like, this last two weeks, two serious things happened

because of just like the frivolous of the obtainability of guns in this country, you know? What was the last thing that happened before this? Those people that got caught, that got, you know, there was Swish and Buffalo. There was Buffalo. Yeah. There was Buffalo.

And then there was, in California, there was an Asian church. Yeah. I got shot up. Like, oh, that's right. Yeah, so there was this holy trinity of gun violence. And the thing that's the gross, like the perfect example of how gross this is,

um, Michael Bisbing. was just commenting on how sad this is and how this should never happen. And that's it. Like, you know, just, he didn't say anything about gun violence or bad. He didn't say anything about gun control.

A guy replies and says, well, you know, where they have great gun control, back in the UK where you should go. Don't try to change our laws. And, like, everyone, like, was like, like, he didn't say anything. What is wrong with you? Why is that your first fast-twitch?

Your first reaction is to. We need our guns. Don't touch my guns. I love these pieces of metal projecting other pieces of metal more than kids. Derek. I think I think I read a stat. I think I read a stat that was like. What?

What? Guys, we need our guns for revolution against tanks and drones. Of course. And private military. with motherfuckers that could probably wipe out half a country. We need our AR-15s. You don't get it. You don't fucking understand.

My pistol that I can't get because I'm black from Walmart, I need it. I need that. You don't fucking understand, guys. You don't get it. I want to directly address those, them peoples that use that. lovely argument. I want to address that. If that were true, like I'm saying,

like they actually want to use it to defend against a tyrannical government. Let's just say they actually firmly believe that. Don't you think the people at January 6 would have brought guns with them because they believed the election was stolen and something needed to be done? So they would bring their

guns to do something. They know why they didn't bring their guns because they would get Swiss cheese by Everyone the fucking like the cops the fucking national guard the security the FBI like everyone would have showed up and just destroyed them They would have been slaughtered set them that's like they would have got shot so much it would have set on fire So it's the argument right like the argument They just like they just like they just fucking It's like what the thing that wasn't even a vampire

It was a guy The thing that's most frustrating about this is like to me is like, look, I'm, I'm pro second amendment. I like guns. I think they're cool. I don't think you're pro second amendment. I think, because look, look, I just want, I'm sorry to cut you off. I want to make it very clear what the second amendment is. It's literally to have a well-regulated militia.

Right. Against the tyranny of the government. Well, what I'm... That's all that is. It's not, it doesn't, if you're saying, if you like guns, that's completely different from trying to say I pro-second amendment. But what I'm saying... I think it's important to point out.

that's that's fair but what what I'm saying is and I was talking about this with a couple of friends of mine last night where it's like guns are obviously the problem right it's it's it's gun violence and it's like this is the this is the only place that this happens in for a reason it's because we have access to guns it is also mental health like significantly people are sick it's always mental health it's well it is always I would I would right but the thing is it's like what we refuse to address is like the fact that like in this country we have have a mix, a unique mix of horrible mental health and access to fire arms. So that is like a perfect, because like when I think about, I do think like mental illness is just like skyrocketed in the last like 30 years. I think largely, and this might sound a little boomery, but like I do genuinely think like the internet has a lot to do with it. I think it's like recontextualized the way that we, the way that we relate to the world around us.

It's recontextualized the way that we socialized. It's recontextualized our relationship with like the life that we're supposed to have. It's done all of this shit and I don't think it's been a positive thing. And I think it's like the perfect match set into this cocktail of guns and mental illness. But like I don't think like like I think people in Australia and the UK are are just as mentally fucked. I just don't think that they have the weapons to do the damage that they can do here. All over. That's literally it.

That's literally it. And and I want to say this too where like you have people like Ted Cruz. Cruz and like all these like specifically Republican politicians who are like don't blame guns. It's mental health. And it's like, okay, fine. So how about here's a crazy idea? How about we put a lot of funding into mental health care? Or maybe, maybe even in crazier idea, what if healthcare was accessible to everybody to help ameliorate?

Chris, you sound fucking stupid. Chris, you sound stupid. Shut the fuck up. You sound stupid. You liberal cuck, you communist You socialist cuck You cuck This motherfucker just said

This motherfucker said put money You cuckshelisk Fucking mental health and free health care Bitch get out of America Fuck you You know what is this You sound like right now That you are literally spreading

Bernie Sanders asshole And just dipping your head in it That's how cucked you are Bro You sound like you absorb information Properly and understand What you're absorbing Shut the fuck up

Shut your bitch hat This guy's stupid. It is so, it is so, it's just so funny to see these people be like, it's mental health. That's the problem. It's not the guns. And it's like, all right, let's solve mental health. No. Whoa, there's, well, then what the fuck do you want?

Like, do you want people to take your guns or not? Like, personally, like, I genuinely don't think that, look, I understand, like, the gun control people mean well. And I do genuinely think, like, there are loopholes that need to be shut down. You shouldn't be able to get a fucking gun at a gun show for, like, with, like, easier than I can get a car. You know, like... You know, it's fucked up? A lot of people, and this is propaganda. Like, I have a roommate named Chris.

Great guy, but, you know, the type of... He's a libertarian, but stuff that he watches has a lot of propaganda in it. And so we had a very normal discussion about this. And he said he's like, you know, the whole thing about the gun show buying, you know, without background check. You know, that's not true, right? And I was like, who the fuck told... And I was like, who the fuck told you that?

I was like, my friend Wyatt, I've multiple times, oh, I'm going to go to this gun show and I'm going to get a bunch of shit. want anything? Nah, I'm good, bro. I was like, but this is a problem that these guys just say shit and then people just believe them. They don't even see. It's kind of like that they think that's the ancient

problem with this country. There are, there are, there's, we live in a country for real where our previous president said they were going to build a wall between us in Mexico. The fact that anyone

believed that ever, is Barack Obama couldn't make college free for the first two years. How the fuck are we going to get Mexico the corrupt, the most corrupted place in North America, to build a wall to prevent their people coming year. He said Mexico was going to build it. That's going to play for it. People hear things and they're like, if it sounds good to them, their brain distances the logic from it, you know, where it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's.

It's stupidity. I just want to finish the statement where it's like, I understand, like, like the, that, first of all, that is a real thing. Like, I know people in my family who've gone to gun shows and gotten guns. It's very simple because it counts as a private sale. Literally. There's not a lot of regulation in private sales. It is totally, it's not even illegally. Like, it's, it's totally legal.

You can do that, which is crazy. You can go to a gun show and you can buy, you can buy a modified handgun. You can buy a modified handgun near army regulation. You can buy that. and just have that. Right, right. With an extended mag and the fucking,

the, um, the, um, the, let, let, let, let,

let, let them, what I'm, what I'm saying, what I'm saying is like, that, that shouldn't be allowed. Like, I, I'm not,

but like, there are people who are like, oh, we got to take people, we got to take all the guns away. You're never going to do that. You're never, there are so many guns in the country

that it is literally impossible. The genie's out of the bottle with that shit. Like, anybody who's like, we're going to get rid of all the guns. we're going to take everybody's guns away. We're going to have, or we're going to have like when Beto O'Rourke or somebody was like, we're going to take your AR-15s.

It's like, he's not going to do that. It's not possible. There's maybe some things that they could do. It's like, maybe they could do like a buyback thing or like have like a tax thing. But like in all likelihood, people like their guns. They're going to keep them. There are so many. You can't undo that.

What you can do is make it harder for deranged teenagers to get their hands on it at gun shows, which I think is perfectly reasonable to want to do. and address the health care issue that is the main problem here because there is no new type of gun that has been invented in the last 30 years since this has happened. Like all of the weapons that are available to people

and teenagers today were the weapons that were available to everybody before that for a while before all of this shit was happening in the first place. This is a mental health problem but nobody wants to fucking do anything about it and it's annoying well it's why like the whole thing is why and the point that you were making before about like the guns are never going to go away that's very true i also feel like it's

it's there's such a minority of people even wanting to say oh this ban all guns it's almost like why are we even why are we even entertaining that yeah because number one it would never happen it's not even a thing that's actually going to happen number two that's not what people that are advocating for gun control are not talking about getting good because the vast majority of people I'm talking about the most liberal people I've met. They all have guns. Like I, everyone's like,

oh, I have guns. I shoot guns. Everyone's like, dude, please listen to us, but it's usually the, it's the propaganda piece that keeps saying they want to take the guns.

But they're loud. Like, if you look at the governors, if you look at the governor, if you look at the mayor, if you look at the mayor of, or these motherfuckers, the district,

the people that run shit in Texas, they're like, oh, we're going to make it better, freer, more guns. Oh, our sales are down.

California's beating us. We'll do, They're actively trying to pour more guns into because obviously they're getting kickback from these companies. Like when you look at fucking Ted Cruz millions of dollars, you look at the most Mitt Romney, fucking 10 million plus, like 13 million just backed by the NRA. This is why these people keep letting shit slide. And look, and I want to say this, I think this is really important because when you see people defend like the cops from not doing their jobs, which we'll get to in a second, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. When you see people defending the guns before they're defending kids,

like they don't care about, and this is just a sad thing. It's apathy. Like people just don't actually care. Like they, when kids get shot when they hear this, there's a lot of people, millions of people that it doesn't do anything because it doesn't affect them. It's an unfortunate thing that's happening. So they're like, you taking guns away would actually affect me. somebody else's kids getting killed would not affect me.

So this is how they feel and it's so fucked up. And this is how we get into this cycle of, oh, well, that sucks, but I don't want to be inconvenience to myself. And then you think about how ghoulish that actually is that like these people care more about, like I said, pieces of metal projecting other pieces of metal than actual kids being fucking slaughtered.

And that's the unfortunate reality. I think I saw some stat that was like it was like firearms are like the number one related, the number one cause of death in children now which is fucking wild. That's so disgusting. That is crazy. So disgusting.

My two sense is that I think that for guns, I think that if you own property, especially live in an area that is particularly dangerous, I think you should have a piece on you. You should have a piece and an idea of protection. I think that is fine. Like if in your house, you live a place where something like that could happen,

let's say you live in like 1980s in England. You know, should probably have a little bit of a piece just in case someone was a breaking house and cause harm to your family. I don't really want a gun. I've shot guns multiple times. I don't like them. They make me feel uncomfortable. I just don't like them as creations. But I think for weapons, it should be the idea of that gun safety and possession of guns don't inherently nullify each other.

And I think that's been the problem for so long that people are assumed that like, oh, you can have. more regulation for gun laws. That doesn't mean we're going to take away your guns. That this means it's going to be more regulation. That's their people are like, no, you're going to take it from me. You're going to steal my baby. And it's like, dude, no. I think that if you want a gun, you should have to.

I think if you want a firearm or you want to have a weapon, you should have to go through a class that's sort of rigorous enough that you have to really want it to have it. Well, look at, dude, there's plenty of laws in other countries that already have, like Japan is a great example of how strict it is to get a gun. in Japan. You have to have interviews. The cops have to interview you. You have to have people to vouch for you. Now imagine if that fucking guy

that fucking shot at those kids try to get interviewed or try to have people voucher them. They're like, fuck no. This motherfucker can't have a gun? And then problem fucking solved for that guy. You know what I'm saying? Like there's simple things that we can do easily. But it's not we know it's not about that.

Well, but Derek, he might have had a, he might have taken a knife and stabbed maybe three people. Oh, oh. I love that fucking argument. I love that fucking argument. You kill somebody with a knife. If we did. If they did,

if they did ban guns, if they did ban guns, you're not going to get rid of this. There's all these guns in Mexico. They're just going to get all the guns. I'm like, who do you know is going to go out of their way? To go to me?

Like, it's so asinine. I made this as an example. You know how say maybe you're hungry. And let's just say this is pre-fucking postmates and all that shit. You're hungry and you're like, fuck man. I don't want to cook.

I just, but like, like, I just a little bit too lazy to go, drive. You make the balance, you're like, fuck it, I'll just drive. It's easy. Now, take the car out of the equation. Well, you're definitely just cooking. You're staying home. You're not going to fucking walk over there if you were barely lazy enough to just even drive.

My point is, if you took away the easy access, like, most people are going to be like, fuck. Like, oh, yeah, oh, so now this guy has to go cross the fucking border, find somebody and not get his head chopped off to get a, fucking gun. He's also a kid. He's also a kid. Like school shooters don't, like school shooters aren't the type to like get guns off the black market. Most school shooters are long form planners, you know?

I would assume most of them are like, I got to say, they don't have blackboards and they're like, hmm, all right, to acquire the gun, I have to go here. So what I do is I have to say $500 over the next six months doing chores to be able to get this. Then this bus comes at 814.

I got to make sure I'm on the bus. Hmm, now I'm gonna be in Mexico I gotta study up on my Spanish Like no no One thing I do find like comedically One thing I do find like really poorly One thing I do find really poorly thought out Is the I don't know why they

I really don't know why they have school shooting drills Like I don't I that it has never made sense to me Why that's a thing I don't know It's so fucking awful that they happen. Like earthquake or like tornado drills Like those make sense to me because you're not, you're not teaching the earthquake where the kids are, you know, but like,

what happens? What happens? What happens when school shooters is that, that situation is already bad. Like, there's no, like, earthquakes. Literally just running outside would be better than sitting outside. Like, then that's, like, there's no, there's no alleviating that problem once that happens, you know. Like, if there's a lose, lose, if there's an earthquake. oh, go under a desk or get under a door frame.

If it's a tornado, I don't know if you're tornadoes. I've never had one of those drills. I mean, just hope the wind doesn't get inside. Get in the bathtub. The tornado places usually it's like they have underground shit, you know, like so they go underground. But like a school shooter, like, there's no, there's no, there's no fine, you know, like there's no, ha ha, we can avoid this.

if that guy walks in your room it's very likely a bad situation you know like there's like the drill the drill is to be able to help children that's more or less for the mental we expect for the kids I don't know if like I don't know if like I don't know but it

I guess it's better than doing than being completely caught off surprise by not even having a kid screaming you know what I'm saying I feel like I feel like it's better that look at look at the the fact that we even have this conversation is so fucked up right it's horrible it's horrifying

Because what should really happen is like you, to your point, Chris, you're talking about natural disasters. Yes, we can't fight a fucking earthquake. The tectonic plates are going to rub together and with enough pressure, they're going to fucking cause an earthquake. Okay, we get that. I don't know what the fuck we're going to do about that. So we have to prepare for that. The kids bringing guns to school and shooting other kids, there's something we can do about that. And that's not teaching kids how to defend themselves or trying to hide.

It could be trying to deal with the problem to make sure it doesn't even fucking happen. I guess so, right? Because like, imagine. But like, hold on. We, we should move on to these fucking cops who like, oh, yeah. Everybody's making, everybody's making fun. One second, one second. This is one thing.

Imagine someone comes into your school, right? Imagine we're like, we're back to being fifth graders, eighth graders, whatever, right? That'd be terrible. Horrible to be an eighth grader now. I would hate it. I would be so different. But the idea, imagine we're there, right? Because this is what's scared.

This is what makes me mad because I saw this on a creepy pasta one time. And I got furious. Imagine like someone comes in. with weapon, right? And you can hear them like shooting down the hallway. Someone's like,

no, don't hurt us. And you just look at that person. You're like, you, you just let them know we're here.

It's obvious we're here, but you gave them notice we're here. I'm going to hit you. I'm going to hit you. I'm going to choke you. Because like that's, it's,

and now it's worse. Because now this guy definitely knows you're there. It was pretty obvious you were there for begin with. Well, that actually kind of lends into something that we can talk about with the cops, actually.

Yeah. Because I don't, I can't remember when we started having school shooting drills, but like, I remember like. I don't think I had one ever. No, we, we, we, we, we had, we, we had, we had them. Oh, you had them? I don't think I had them. Mm-hmm. I definitely brought guns to school constantly where I went to school and I really don't remember them.

That situation is totally, because most of those people just brought them because they're just fucking stupid, but they weren't trying to actually kill kids. Most of them brought them to prevent anything from worse happening. Like those were just strictly self-defense weapons, even though I don't condone it. I don't condone it. You shouldn't be 17 with a pistol in school, you know? You see that even in fucking these urban areas, right? A lot of guns are circulated through the school. A lot of kids do bring, but you're not hearing these fucking mass shootings because they're not, they're not fucking, you know, like there is that equation, right?

There is the easy accessible guns And then there's these crazy motherfuckers Right now we got to do something about both of them Other countries they did shit about the guns They're working on their mental health They're doing better Yeah there's high rates Especially in Scandinavia

But there's also studies about that Usually the more privileged people are The more mental health they have Because they have more time to think about Woe and misery and all this shit And feel less fulfilled And you have less sun Which is a big thing with serotonin blah blah blah

That shit's real I can't believe that There's no fucking Yeah, but there's no guns in huge circulation, so they're not just woohoo-hoo, you know, like going all crazy and shit. So obviously guns are the fucking problem. Let's talk about the pigs now. Someone coming to Yosemite Sammy's school up. Let's talk about these fucking pigs, dude.

Yeah, so as I understand it, basically, the police were called and they just sort of stood outside as this dude was gunning kids. It's so insane to think about because it seems like it doesn't sound real. That's what makes it crazy. It's sad. Yeah, it doesn't sound real, but it is because there's video of it. And people outside the school being like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Stan is like, oh, we got to wait 40 minutes for backup. It's like 40 minutes?

Listen, man, I'm not a school shooter. 40 minutes is enough for me to do some work. That is a lot of time to give a school shooter. 40 fucking minutes. And they were just standing out there. They were standing out there. Listen, hearing people probably Hearing children scream, dude

Hearing like bullets echo through this fucking hall Like that is insane to me that like you as a person Would just like How do you as a normal person Not just, you know what? We're ordered to stay here but like I'm going rogue. Like I'm a fucking police officer like come to fuck on dude. Bro, you know what's fucked up?

That is not even protocol. Like when you when you fucking there If you look at what they're supposed to do in this scenario. They're supposed to rush in. That is, that is the first, that there's literally supposed to do that.

As soon as someone reveals a firearm, you have to detain them. That's literally how it works. And then they're just like, oh, this, this nigga has some type of vest or something, uh,

and then somebody got shot at. We're scared. And then so they're like, we need more like, no, dude, literally you sign up for this fucking job. Go, we need,

you life on alive to save kids. Like, what's the, what's the point of the, what's the point of the, what's the point of the, what's the point of becoming, Like, cops aren't supposed to be the heroes.

They're the, they're the samurai, they're the knights. That's what police officers are. Oh, oh, no, but like, dude, like, I saw somebody, uh-huh. But I saw somebody who was like, well, you wouldn't fucking, you wouldn't go in there. And it's like, yeah, I'm not a cop. I'm not a cop. I don't, I don't, I'm not a cop. I didn't sign up for that job.

Second of all, I honestly don't know. I feel like I would be morally fucking compelled as an adult seeing, hearing kids get shot the fuck up, and go in. I don't know if that's true. I can't say that I would or wouldn't because I don't know what it's like to be in that situation. But that's not my fucking job. That's their job, dude. Don't fucking.

It's insane. I can say, I'll literally take it a step further. I'll literally take it a step further. Yeah, it's not our job. I will speak for myself that in that particular scenario, when the cops are holding the people back,

I 100% would have rallied the parents, be like, I'm going in regardless of what the fuck you say. You have to shoot me, that's fine. And you will be fucking a pariah forever. I'm telling you in a scenario like that, I have a, I feel like it's a normal human reaction. But when it comes to protecting children,

like I remember somebody asked me like, whatever I talk about like kids being molested or raped or whatever, someone's asked me like, were you ever abused because of the reaction you had? Like I usually get very teary eyed just even talking about it. it because it's such a grotesque thing to think about. Like, I'm telling you right now, I easily would have put my life on the line. Easily in that scenario.

I wouldn't have been able to not do it. When it comes to protecting, like, innocent kids that are just trying to go to fucking school or, like, kids that are, like, they're in daycare or they're in their fucking school and their priest is trying to dittle. Like, when it comes to that shit, like, I have no problem either going to prison or risking my life to either. exact revenge or to try to save these kids. I can say that right now.

There would be no paralyzed. Just like those parents, they wanted to do something. However, I just feel like there wasn't enough of a, like, fuck these cops. I don't care what happens.

I'm going. I do not care. And I'm telling you, like, and I probably would have gotten shot by one of those. Well, the parents, and it would have been a goddamn disaster. The parents are also not armed.

You know, like, even if they wanted to do something, like, what the fuck are they going to do? Like, it's literally, it's not about the cop's job no I know I know what you're saying but like I mean like it's just so crazy that you may be you may be just a 100% liability but you're still going to try something anyway that's just kind of like how that goes idea because like I don't know like I've been in pretty

tense situations and I've usually been able to use my head in those situations you know but the idea is that like you can hear that you could probably hear that you know like that it's a different thing because I can I can say I would want to do it and but like you know at the same time. I know if my kid was there. Oh, I'm in. I'm going. I'm running like an idiot. I think I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I missed that from the equation. Let's put that as part of the equation. Like, I'm running in it like an idiot. I'm talking. I'm talking as if I'm literally there because my kid attends that fucking school. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're, you got to go. Like, there's no, like the parents that that were there and they're like, oh my God, this literally a guy that had his fucking daughter killed. He's there. Like, what the fuck? They're like, let let us in. And who knows? Maybe. Maybe he's, maybe he's. Maybe. He's. Maybe. He's. He's. Maybe. Maybe. His daughter would have been saved. Who knows? But it's just like... It's an unfortunate situation.

It's the idea that like... It's the craziest... It's the craziest scenario. It's literally the thing that everybody... And then you had fucking Greg Abbott. That fucking human piece of filth. Which fucking... Man, can I...

I can't express to you how disappointed I am at Joe Rogan. Where he's like, ooh, I met with Greg Abbott and fucking Rob DeSantis. The fucking good guys. They're really trying to protect our freedoms and shit. And then this type of shit happens. And I'm like, yeah, dude, yeah, this is the type of people that you fucking love. And you move to fucking Texas, backwards-ass fucking Texas.

I know there's a lot of good people there. But you're moving there specifically so people can get away from fucking responsibility. And it's so fucking gross, dude. It's so gross. And then he's not going to, he'll never, and he won't fucking back down on this shit. This dude has too much money. He's too comfortable. And then it just, you know what I'm saying?

I, I, I lost, uh, I was ever that big. I was never that big on Joe Rogan But like I remember seeing something like a couple years ago That like put me off him entirely Where he was like a Do you remember Dan Crenshaw the I patch The fucking reverse fucking big boss Yeah yeah he was talking

He was talking about Pete Davidson And how he joked about his eyepatch On Saturday NLive or whatever And then he was like I don't know man to like make fun of the guy For going in war man Like that's fucking weird dude and it's like you're a comedian

what are you talking about are you serious he's said way worse than that yeah he's said way where like he's there's a super cut of him saying the end word 40 times like are you joking you can't just make fun of the guy looks the guy looks like the guy looks like big the guy looks like big boss and he's obviously

like on a show trying to be funny like the intent is is comedy like even if the joke is a bad joke and it's not funny like the idea that like a comedian would go on his podcast and be like, oh, man, I don't know. I just don't think that's, you should be making fun of somebody who, like, he was talking about like how he's like, he laid his life on the line for, you know, it's like, bro, I don't know, you're in the wrong profession if you really think that.

I think, like, it's insane. I think, I think, I think the guys of. How do you sit and, how do you sit and defend Chappelle if you can't handle that? Like, are you kidding? I personally, myself, I think the, the, the phrase, it's comedy, you're a comedian. I don't exactly always agree with that. because I think there's there's context you know that's the context is that he's a comedian and he's doing comedy that is

I think like in a greater scale it's like you know like there are certain things you kind of just leave B you know you can be you can be funny without going certain places you know and I've I myself I don't think there's anything wrong with making I don't think there's anything wrong with making fun of that either I know but like there are certain places you just try not to go you know that's this that's my belief as someone that makes jokes I don't because I'm a much of a comedian at all

but as I much of somebody that makes jokes. Well, that would be why. And yeah, you know, if it's like I, yeah, I'm gonna stay back. I'm a, I'm a, there's other places I could go instead of like right here. There's a little too obvious. It's not my alley. But at the same time is just like, that's, that's not the worst thing. Like, like, come on.

Come on, Rogan. But he's, but he's done like over the last, like last year, particularly Rogan was fucking up. He was fucking up a lot in 2021. And I was just like, yo. I feel like, I really, I really do feel like he's just lost. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I think getting COVID was the nail in the coffin.

I literally think it rotted his brain. I'm not even joking. I think him getting COVID just some just broke him because he was already starting to be weird. And then if you look at the telltale signs, if you look at who he follows on Twitter, who he mainly gets his news from,

how why he thought Ivermectin was a fucking thing that actually worked. You know, why he fucking retweeted a fucking Reuters article that fucked up. Reuters fucked up. They jumped the gun. Well, they just said there was a response. There was a reaction to Ivermectin

and fucking to the virus in a fucking petri dish, right? But you can get the same results by putting in most chemicals like bleach or whatever. Doesn't mean that it's going to work once you fucking put it in your body. You know, they haven't done those trials at all. And then Drogans like, whoa, look at here. Like it worked.

80,000 likes, 20,000 retweets. Flayor figures out that he fucks up just quietly deletes it. This guy doesn't give a fuck about people, right? Instead of being like, I'm sorry guys, I fucked up, I need to retract this. This was, I jumped the gun. No, just quietly delete it. When your fucking people that believe in you are just eating this shit up. That is, that right there did not used to be this guy. He used to be so bothered by when he got backlash for not asking the proper questions to, um, to the Jack Dorsey or whatever, the former CEO of Twitter. He got on

that backlash and he was so bothered that he had another round of it. And he was like, I'm sorry, guys. I feel like I let you down. When hindsight, when I think about that, I'm like, it's your podcast. Ask what questions you want. If you don't want to make Jack feel uncomfortable, well, that's your fucking podcast. In hindsight, when I think about that, I'm like, all of them should have fucked the hell off. And then now he's just like, well, I don't care.

Oh, people are fucking following my advice. You shouldn't take the fucking vaccine if you're like in your fucking 20s and you're healthy. Oh, who fuck cares? Like, this guy is, he's different. He's a different person. He's gotten, he's gotten, what happens like everybody is he's gotten too large of a people, a group of people following him. And I think, and I think that he's sucking too much conservative. And I think that got to his head.

Because I don't think, I don't know, man, like, I don't, I just don't think a lot of people are cut out to be people that are followed, you know? Like a lot of people are just like, I'm doing shit. I'm saying shit. And eventually at some point, it's like, oh, people are listening. Thousands of millions of people based their opinion on what I say. Joe Rogan, a mixed martial artist, a guy that did fucking fear factor. No shade to him. He's done good with his life.

He's a comedian, but like, he's not, he's not. No, let me tell you this. Let me tell you, sorry, I just want real quick. Let me tell you this is what happened and it's happening with everybody that's like, even dabbling with politics. People that consider themselves center left or whatever, they felt betrayed by who they saw as their tribe. Everyone starts shitting on them.

and then they found a home in the right who will take anyone. As long as you preach their gospel, they'll take you. It doesn't matter even if you used to be against them. They'll just take you. Like, welcome, brother. And he's done the same exact thing that fucking Dave Rubin, that fucking Tim Poole, that fucking Candace Owens, that fucking Jimmy Dorr, that fucking spat on Alex Jones.

Used to fucking despise Alex Jones enough to where he spat in his face. And now he's saying very similar things. Anti-Vax this and all this, that. This accepting the party. and the people that don't care about anything other than you just agreeing with their ideals. It's fucking crazy. There's so many. So much money.

And the money. I mean, that should be a given. But it's also like, it's also like, it feels good. It doesn't, because Joe Rowland's going to get a bunch of money regardless.

He got the big Spotify deal. He didn't have to fucking lean on the right. He wasn't going to get that deal regardless. Hundreds of millions of dollars. But it feels bad to have the people that you want to ally with constantly shitting on you. So why not just? fucking hang out with these guys who won't say a damn bad thing about you ever

even if you literally sexually assaulted somebody even if you literally did something heinous they'll be like oh that's just propaganda they're just trying to come after you which Elon Musk is doing right now unless you're unless you're Dave Rubin and you want to have a kid all right unless you

and then no that switch was legendary bro that shit was legendary and then they'll bully you for fucking weeks and then you'll come out and be like actually everybody's been super kind That is amazing. I love it.

That's so good. Dude, I just, I just want to, I just want to. That shit was so funny. I just want to be clear. Like what we're saying, what we, what we, I want to be very clear about this because I do genuinely feel like this is probably a, like, not a unique thing to us, but becoming a rarer thing in the podcast space. When we, we are having, we are talking about subjects right now that are important that are, you know, that, that, are politically charged, that are very, you know, divisive. But when we talk about this shit, we are telling you exactly how we feel, exactly how we

think about it. I'm sure there are people who are listening to this who are probably going to be frustrated that we're talking about Joe Rogan in this way or who are frustrated that we're taking a certain side in the gun conversation or whatever. But like, I need you guys to understand whether you disagree with us or not that this, we are coming at this from a genuine perspective. That is not a lot. We are not shifting shit to fit like any particular audience.

If we shed people, if we gain people fucking whatever. The whole point of this is to have a platform where we can actually speak freely. And there are a lot of people who I don't believe are speaking freely. There are a lot of people who I believe sincerely are going out there and saying shit that they don't agree with. And I know this for a fact because I've had conversations with some of these people. And they say verbatim, I don't know. I just don't. I just, you know, I just say shit because people want to hear it.

And it's entertaining and it makes us money and it keeps us growing. and it keeps them loyal and let's do it. Fucking whatever. These are, these are, that's not our, that's not our goal here. These are perspectives that we've had and held for years.

These aren't new things. No one's, no one's randomly out of the blue. Like if you caught me on the street and somehow this conversation came up, these would be the same things that I'd be telling you to your face. It wouldn't be, uh, this is not,

oh, we're trying to get this sort of group that ad, like ad revenue or get these ads. No, this is just, I just, I just wanted to say that because I know that there's like, There are pandering accusations, and I understand that, because, like, a lot of, it is.

It's a fucking common thing. I see it. I don't understand it. Why? Because if you use your fucking eyes. And I mean, just look at, look at, just look, you piece of shit. If I, and I said to some, I just dropped a video today. What is it?

Today's the 27th. So I just dropped a video today in 27th. I specifically because I was shitting on Candace Owens. And I said, if I did what Candice Owens and with the Hodge twins and with Dave Rubin and with Jimmy Doran and what Tim. pool did and all those fucking people, quartering, I'd be a millionaire right now. Easily.

Oh, yeah. Easily. Easily. I've had offers to join certain organizations. I would have paid me handsomely to speak at a stupid colleges that I have no fucking I don't, what the fuck? I'm not religious.

I'm not, I'm like, dude, I don't fucking care about this shit. I'm like, no, sorry. I've even gotten angry replies to return it down. I'm like, nah, dude, it's not my bag. You know,

because I guess a lot of these people aren't used to being refused because people are just all money. Give me money. And I'm like, as long as I'm eating and playing games, I'm happy. So not every bag is a good bag. Right. Not every bag is a good bag. And a lot of these people, they, the bottom line is their bottom line.

Getting some fucking money. Absolutely. Me, I'm, I'm just, I'm an artist, dude. I just want to be happy doing my thing. And I don't want to sell my fucking soul. Like, I, like legitimately, I just, if I were a piece of shit, I kind of wish I was, to be honest. Be real. Yeah.

It would be easier. It would be so nice to just be like, they won't take our guns away. Dude, I will get, I will get donations. I would have well over a million subs on my channel. It'd be getting 100. Like, I'd be, the fact that I just tell it like it is, when I make fun of the people that were crying about Biden and shit, all these people are saying the election stolen that you're a fucking idiot and there's no evidence to that. Stop listening to this bullshit. Losing subscribers for some people that are just fucking lunatics.

I'm like, bye. And the same thing about the gun thing. I said on Instagram that please unfollow me. I don't normally say this, but I was like, please unfollow me. If anything that I'm saying right now is like a mac, because all I cared about in this scenario with the shooting is protecting kids that need to be protected. That's all I care about. Fuck guns.

I said this specifically. This is never going to happen, but in a parallel universe, in a scenario that there was a chance to get rid of all guns, except for the people that needed them like hunters and protectors and stuff like that, I would gladly turn in my fucking 12 gauge. I'm saying this in a scenario that would never actually happen. This is nothing going to happen. But I'm saying if that was a real scenario, like a scenario like fucking Australia,

I think getting rid of this shit is more important. Like I think protecting kids is more important than keeping these fucking guns that the vast majority of people are only using for hobbies. The vast majority, 90-some. percent of people are using guns for fucking hobbies. Absolutely. The other small percentage that are using for hunting because they got to get the meat and they got to people that got to protect, obviously the security and all that,

that's such a small percentage. So I'm saying in that scenario, if I'm affidding you by saying that, I'd say, please unfollow me because it's showing you that you care about this metal more than fucking kids being alive. And I'm saying like, I'm not apologizing for that shit. And I'm saying, and I'll take it one step further. I genuinely think, because this isn't just a, this isn't just. a partisan fucking issue to me.

This is literally about protecting kids. If you have a problem with what I'm saying, and if you don't think that is a sensible thing to say that protecting kids is more important than you keeping your hobby gun, then I'm like, you can't unfollow me. I think you're a piece of shit. I'm sorry there's no way around that.

Now, I know that's like that's a thing. That's just me. That's not Chris. That's not Sweeney's saying that. No, I was me on my Instagram. I 100% agree with that, dude. Like these are lives of young people, dude. Their lives shouldn't be...

Their lives shouldn't be snuffed out because of the fact that you want to keep your guns. I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. That's the thing. You want to keep it like, they want to keep it for just the sport, for the hobby.

And I'm saying, I'm like, I think it's deeper than a hobby of the sport. I think it's the idea of the power that comes with a gun. Well, there is no real power. No,

no, there is the power. Most people aren't doing anything with their guns. They're not doing anything with them. You're right. They're not. But when you have a gun... So what power do you gain from them?

When you have a gun, you have the theoretical power to be like I can shoot someone If someone threatens me I can I can end them Theoretical power is the gayest thing I've ever heard of my life But it's so fucking stupid

It's stupid It's like literally stockpiling money And then just living in a shack What the fuck are you talking about? It's right I have the theoretical power To buy a fucking mansion You're right

Just not going to You're right You're right You are correct But that is how the way people think Dude People think in these stupid Unuseful

Ungranged Mentalities Dude you're right You're right Fair enough No no no And I know And I'll concede to that

Fair enough dude All I'm trying to say is Just in that extreme scenario That would never happen in the United States We all know that would never happen If that were real I would be willing Because this is the here's the real thing

Most people would be willing to sacrifice their own lives Most parents would be willing to sacrifice their own lives To save their own children obviously But it's sad that most people won't be willing to sacrifice these guns to save other people's children. And I'm like, that's a fucking problem with me. Somebody who genuinely cares about humanity, that's a fucking problem. And even, and I'm saying this is a scenario that's not going to happen.

And people can't even fucking admit to that and say that like, okay, the way you broke it down, okay. No, they're like, nope, nope, guns, guns. And I'm like, all right, bro. I'm like, I can't talk to you. I think what we, I just, I feel like what, I feel like what is. deeply necessary considering getting rid of guns is impossible. Right.

Is just the acknowledgement that mental health is serious. Right. And it should look man, we, we, I've been saying this for a lot, for as long as I've had my YouTube channel, where as long as I've been posting like professionally on my YouTube channel, if we had just access to health care and mental health care and it wasn't going to like, dude, even like when I was like, uh, looking for,

for therapists because I knew it was like a thing that I should probably do. Like, dude, shit's expensive. Right. It's insane. Like, a psychiatrist is stupid expensive. And like prescription, like, medicine for, like, psychiatric treatment is, like, stupid expensive. And, and that's me.

Like, I'm doing, like, way better than a lot of people my age bracket, generally speaking. You know what I mean? Like, I lucked out with this career path. And I still look at it. I was like, damn, this is fucking crazy expensive and really inaccessible. So, like, of course, there's a bunch of sick people on the street. who are mentally all fucked up.

It all, like, of course they're... Like, every single problem harkens back to, um, homelessness, prejudice, death, all these unnecessary death. We need to provide. We need to provide for the less fortunate. Like, that includes people that are mentally ill. People that are, they, they have drug problems. Yeah.

What's that saying? What's that, what's that, what's that saying? Like, you're only as, uh, you're only as, uh, you're only as strong as your your weakest link or whatever? Yeah, that is 100, that is so fucking true, man. Like the way that we treat homeless people, they'll fucking like, It's disgusting The fucking like

The way that Dude I can't believe This happened to me So I lived in California I'm in Vegas now But I was in California And luckily in California

It's kind of like The rest of the world With the health care Where if you truly need it They'll give it to you Like if you're like If you're like fucked They'll give it to you

They covered me I was covered Even at my Brokest time Paid nothing Fucking all the procedures Everything I need I didn't pay a dime

Right It was just We just paid taxes for it Um The thing is it still needs to be better because even when I was I was struggling with my hormone like my hormones crash

my testosterone crash and all this shit it just the health care was so subpar that I had to dip into the private sector I had to go to a clinic I had to pay a lot of fucking money and that was the only way because we're not we're not funneling we're still not funneling enough money into health care

and then the saddest thing is I guess about all this shit is that when you talk to anybody even the most conservative motherfucker when you really break this stuff down they'll agree with this like oh yeah universal health care sounds good hey hey man wouldn't you like an extra um 1200 in your pocket each month for you know universal base income they're oh yeah i could do a lot of shit with that but then the way that um their their uh their pundits will spin it is by saying it's gonna make people lazy and i'm like who the fuck's just living off a 1200 fucking dollars dude like

it's gonna you're gonna it's out of your pocket you shouldn't have to pay for people Are you going to quit your job right now if you got an extra $1,200? Like, what the fuck? No, it would just help me pay my bills better. It would help me pay my bills so then I can put more effort into what I'm doing into entrepreneurship. Like, the way that these people try to spend stuff is so fucked up. But then when you talk to them on a regular basic human level, like, hey, man, wouldn't

it be better if you didn't have to pay all this fucking money for your kids college? Wouldn't this be awesome? Like, wouldn't it be, wouldn't it be awesome if you didn't have to pay all this money if your kid had cancer, you didn't have to go fucking bankrupt and have to do a second and third mortgage. And they're like, oh, yeah, that sounds great.

People losing their lives. And you know, and you know how much you would have to pay on average just for everybody collectively to pay in taxes? You wouldn't even notice. It would just be a few less cups of fucking Starbucks coffee, bitch.

Like, it's stuff like that. Where when you talk to them and you break it down in that real way, they're like, oh, I never thought of it that way. But unfortunately, these fucking lobbyists have their fucking gross ass paws into the people that they watch

like Tucker Carlson and shit that would just keep telling them all this fucking bullshit. Well, what was that fucking, um, that thing that Elon Musk tweeted out the other day where he was like, uh, who do you, who do you distrust more? Billionaires or politicians? And I remember, and I remember being like, what's like, what's the fundamental thing? Like, it's like, do you trust, what do you trust less?

The problem or the reason for the problem? These people are the problem. You know what I mean? It's such a weird thing. It's like politicians are a problem because they're bribed by. by incredibly rich people. Yeah. Like this is the same, like you didn't,

there's no difference at these options at all. It's fucking ridiculous. And he knows this and that's so disgusting. And, dude, did you see what Elon Musk did recently about, uh, he's been hinting that he's been owning the lives for a while now.

But he just recently came out and said, oh, the Democrats used to be the party of, um, of what is it? Uh, of like kindness or whatever. But now they're the party of hate and division.

Which is hilarious to say that. which is hilarious, even though, like, they're not the ones that are trying to, you know, appeal, uh, repeal, uh, Rovey Wade. They're not the way, you know, like, it's, it's a silly thing to even argue. It's, it's so stupid. But the reason, and then he, he follows by saying, now watch me, I've registered as a Republican. He says he's on Republican now. He says, now watch the attacks pour in. And coincidentally, all of a sudden, allegations of him, uh, sexually assaulting a woman. Yeah, yeah. And exposing himself pops up and all this shit, right? And I think I'm like, you slimy fuck, you're doing what you're doing it you're he's using the fucking republicans as a shield he's saying oh

i'm a republican that's why they're coming now that's why they're smearing me when that shit was already gonna come out and i'm like you are a brilliant evil fuck you are so fucking i used to i used to be pretty indifferent to you i used i used to like him until i've recently heard this actually i i thought he was kind of interesting like he was just sort of like all right this an interesting feller he's like making flamethrowers or whatever and i do i like tes i like Tesla generally speaking. I think it's a, like, generally a good idea, and it's probably, like, it's probably an important good that is contributed to the world overall.

Yeah. But I don't even hate Elon Musk. I just find him, like, really cringe. Like, when he was on SNL, I think when I, when, when I saw him on SNL was like the time where I was like, this is not. Final straw. This is like, I can, I can handle a lot of things, but like, it was pretty bad. It's pretty bad.

You got to be, like, you got to, it's, you have to be really. so cringy it was so it was so unfuny that I couldn't believe it because it was Saturday Night Live it's already not particularly funny that's saying a lot for S&L

Yeah like Like when Bernie Sanders as a man Is unironically like way funnier Like it's just It's just such a weird fucking situation But right I mean we've I don't know we've

We've talked about it quite extensively I think We're gonna get our comments And I'm sure people are going to be upset But like listen I just I want again, I want everybody to know, like, this is just what we, we think, like, sincerely. And if you, if you, another, another comment before we end this, the idea, the idea that people could have fallen into our bases and not known this about us. When none of us have hit, like, I, every time, every time something happened that's really fucked up, I post on Twitter.

And I'm like, my heart goes out to these people. And I have a moment where I vent and I talk about the problem and how I feel it should be fixed. and somehow through some means people are like I can't believe this is where you stand blah blah blah it's like when have I ever stood anywhere else I guess they find out because of the comedic nature of who I am they come and they're like oh you're making jokes blah blah blah you're funny but like every time something happens I'm always on the same side every time I'm always on this this side there are people like that who who reply to me sometimes

and I'll be like okay well I'll just like what I'll do is I'll block him and unblock him so then that way they're like not following him anymore because it's like I don't know

why you're following me in the first place I've done that once I've been so I've been so transparent about all of this for so long that that you and it's not even that

by the way like people disagree with me that's fine but it's like the people who are like somehow like surprise that's where that's where change or something and I'm like bro

it's like where did you get You have followed me for a long time. If you followed me for a long time and you disagree with the stuff and you pose an argument or like you you ask me a genuine question about what like that's that's a complete like I don't give a shit about that at all. That's fine. But like it's the people who act surprised by it. We'll see what it is. Or the people who think it's somehow hypocritical to like think so many things are funny while also like happening to think relatively liberally.

I just like this is to be a common thing. You know what I think it is. I think people are watching in like such a weird bias point of view from like from it's like a projective point of view where here's I use this as a great example. I made a video about Riley Dennis if you remember her and the video was specifically about her ideology which was violence against hate speech is defense. Basically you should beat people up when they use hate speech. because eventually it's most likely going to lead to violence anyway. And I thought that was such a wild thing. Because, you know, like, let's say if that was like a, the president echoed that shit.

Then people just start whooping everyone's ass for saying, no, hateful shit, right? It would be chaos. It would be a nightmare. I made a video saying, like, why, how fucking stupid that is and dangerous that is. Literally did not give one single flying fuck that she's trans. But read some of the comments. And like, why are you calling them she? Why are you this?

And I'm like, what the, get the fuck off my channel, dude? Like, what are we, like, so these people were here, I'm assuming. Right. These people were here assuming that like, oh, he's just going to dunk on this tranny. You know, like, that's basically the type of feeling they had that those people. I get accused of having made videos about that person and I never did. Like I had somebody who was like, this is the same guy who made videos about Milo Stewart and Riley Dennis. And I was like, I never.

I never did that. Because I don't know anything about that shit. Milo Stewart. I made one about her because of that very reason. I didn't make any videos about Milo Stewart because I did like, oh, some kids. transitioning to something. Why don't you give a fucking about this?

Again, friend. It harkens back to mental health. Again. That's true. Again. It's just people, it's an ability to absorb information correctly. They're like, oh, this is what I want to absorb.

This is it. And it's like, sweet. make fun of things all the time. You think this is not funny? He's like, no, I make fun of hypothetical things or outrageous things, but you know what is not outrageous, you know what's just

horrible? Lives being lost when they just don't have to be. There's nothing comedic about these things. There's not, it's not funny, you know? I use the N word. I say the N word and I chuckle because the idea of that word's existence is hilarious to me because of the idea of it

separating a person simply based on their color. But someone having a gun with that on it and then particularly aiming to kill people of that group is not funny. That's not a joke. That's just evil. All right. Update. Update. No verdict. It's going to deliberations are going to resume on Tuesday. Stupid bullshit. We got time. Damn it. We do have time so we can talk about it on the next episode. Yeah, there we go. It's better than fucking literally, yeah, like stopping record and then all of a sudden Johnny Debs being hanged. He's dangling.

He literally, he's getting hung like in pirates. Like actually it's the same scene. They put the same clothes on him. And it's like, he's like, yo, can they do this to him? Like, wait, that wasn't even what this is about. This wasn't, he'll be, doesn't he need to be sentenced in another date? No, they just went, you lost and then literally the galos is immediately rolled out. And he's like, he just lost.

He's looking around. There's an old school 90s boom. box and then they put the fucking pirates theme on and shit. And the clown shows up somehow. They wrap they wrap

a noose around his neck and then they raise a guillotine sideways up his body. They're going to cut his head off sideways with a guillotine as he's being hung. It's like this is a fucking crazy this is a crazy

fucking verdict. It's like, ridiculous sentence. Da-da-d-d-d-d-d-da-dan-da-d-da-d-d-da-d-d-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d... Who do you guys think is going to win? I think, I think Amber-D's going to win. Well, why do you think that? Because she's a woman, and in those, in those cases, they just have such an

odd, they have such an unnecessary power bonus that even though I think Johnny, I think Johnny's lawyer has been doing better. I think Amber Hertz's lawyer is horrible. I think her defense has been terrible, but she's still a woman, you know? If Amber Hurd wins, I don't want to hear a sexism is over I don't want to hear a single thing about it I mean I mean

I don't want to hear a single thing about it from here on out like it's over I definitely reap the benefits of that I mentality being spread but I don't agree with it like I'll definitely use that mentality look to make it advance my life me come on obviously like we're come on I didn't get serious I mean it's it's pretty I mean too

as long as alimony is still a thing like we already like it's never that's true it's like we're we're still, that is the worst shit ever. What if they abolish alimony? Imagine? Dude. Like after this, I'd be like, yo, jackpot.

I don't got to give this bitch shit because I didn't want that. How could you build an empire your entire life and then marry somebody for like a few minutes and then divorce them and then they get half your shit? Like, you know, I'm obviously fucking hyperbole. But I'm just saying you can essentially that scenario where it's like this has been my money, my entire life. This person came into my life for a fraction of the time. And now they, I owe them half of my shit.

I got to give them so much money per month. Like it's, it is shockingly, like, how are we still dealing with this? And it's one of those scenarios, it's one of those scenarios where it's like, if it were reversed, it would be fixed. Now, now it would be fixed. It's kind of like, say, when it's time to get hard on guns, it's because minorities have guns. It's like, fuck, when the Black Panthers, it's like, fuck, when the Black Panthers, started rising up with guns. Oh, we got to crack down on those guns now.

Oh, no, you guys can't legally have those guns. That shit is hilarious. That was the funny. That's the funniest moment in American history that's not taught at all in school. That moment should be taught in school to just simply display the degree of prejudice in the world. But no one talks about that. I learned that in college. And I was just like, what?

I mean, it's, it's like what the Roe v. Wade thing, like the judge, some thing was past that you can't, you can't, uh, uh, what is it called protest. You can't protest the judges to try to sway their opinions. You know, like, they pass that shit so fast, you know, because it's at their expense, right? But anything else, anything else, they'll sit on it, you know? It is impressive how much Congress can get, like, how fast they can work when they're, like, personally threatened versus how, how slowly they fucking work for everything. I was like, we just couldn't figure it out. We'll come back next year. What bothers me so much is that, like, those grid, like, those grid, like, idea of the gridlocks and like the stance of the congress i just wish someone just i just i like i like

the world needs a more we need we need villains yeah we need we need people that are willing to be like yo if you don't get this done because it's like it's like idea like um you guys probably never read uh red dune but there was the guy there was um a character i've read morbius there was a character great there was a character name uh laddo the second how what he did was he played so yeah later letto the second no no the second no It's so funny that his name is later. That's so fucking ridiculous. But he becomes like the god emperor of the universe.

And what he does is purposefully to spark the item, the kindle the spark of individuality. He completely strips the universe of it. Like he morbs. He, in fact, morbs it. And what happens is in the time that he's doing that, what he's doing is since he's stoking the human spirit, when they're free everyone is like we're going to go find our way the right way we feel it

but like we need someone to be like Congress like we can't pass this bill that's not happening some guy walks in and he has a sword and he has a sword and he sits down real calm and he's like if nothing changes within the next 45 minutes it's gonna be a huge mess in here and he just sits down quietly and waits

and I bet then people will be like ah you know what man these ideas seem really I gotta say I got to say Dune from a story perspective Doesn't seem like it has the storytelling chops Or the, you know, the cultural significance To stand out quite like Morbius

Quite like Morbius has Right I am astounded that Morbius is still trending today I don't know when this movie came out I don't remember like I think it was like weeks ago at this point Morbis came on April Are you serious? It's almost June It's gonna be Jude and it's still what happens

That is crazy This is what happened Let me explain to exactly how it happened. What the problem is, is that Morbius, no one, I don't think many people saw it. And then it came on DVD recently. Everyone got a chance to absorb and view it. Did it? Yeah.

Well, I watched it when it became a digitally downloadable. Wait, really? Like, where was it digitally downloaded? Everywhere. Well, you know, like. I want to get it. I mean, I have a specific website that I use. I was sent a link.

I was sent a link to it. And I mistakenly. downloaded it. Morbius Morbius. Dot movie You get all sorts of tickets for Morbius. It's still in theaters. I'm telling you.

Morbius. Dude, I can't believe that this movie's real. I was just watching a video on Spider-Man the animated series and how insane Morbius is in that fucking joke because he's like I need... They couldn't say blood. I need the plasma.

Plasma. It's not what I'm Spider-Man. I don't know what's wrong with me. Blah, I look like a bat, but I'm white, and I have these slick back hair, and I'm from Kazakhstan or something. And it's like, shut the fuck up, Morbi. It's die. He was like in a relationship with black hair. Such a weird show.

Yeah, that shit's awesome, dude. But he- I like his little butt holes he has on his hands. Yeah. Plasma, Peter. Use my butt-mo, butt-hole hands to suck your plasma. But here's the thing. Do you think that Jared Lato had to sit through the morbious arc of Spider-Man the animated series while studying for this character?

He probably did. He's a method actor. He has to absorb. And there's not much morbious content, really. Like, there's not really like, that's all I remember, really. Like, yes, I genuinely think there's more media about shocker than there is about Morbius, like sincerely. I would, I would disagree, but not by.

Shock is in every video game. I would disagree, but not by a lot. Like, I think Shocker is beat. Shocker is beat by Morbius, but only slightly. Only, like, slightly because Morbiz is a midnight sun. And he had his, I don't think, Chalk had his own comic book run ever. I think, I don't think he ever did.

But at least Morbius is. I'm not talking, I'm not talking about comic books so much. I'm talking about, like, extraneous media. Like, Shocker has been in more extraneous media than Morbius. Yeah, but I would say all the, the comics are. part of all of the media because like that's the main point people probably pull from you know people aren't gonna probably like someone that's method acting morbius is not joining they're just spider man three for the p.m is not just gonna watch that four episode mini area of spider man animated

series where morbi is trying to cure himself and it's be like whoa i understand morbius entirely now give me the script do you think like uh since morbius flopped like memers were It actually did not flop. It was very successful. I didn't know that. You were so confident. I thought he made double. I thought nobody fucking saw it, dude.

But then it was probably so bad that people were like, you need to see this. So, okay, so this, so the budget for Morbius apparently was $75 million. Morbius is estimated to have earned $57 million domestic. Oh, and probably $5 billion in China. But a, but a. a global hall of 126. So they made a decent amount of money. Dude, China loved Morbius.

They love everything that is fucking dog shit. It's awesome. They saw the world of war. China was like, wow, look, there's no black people in this. This is amazing. Wait. Not a single black. Not one black.

Wow. I don't think there's a single black person in Morbius. There was one. He was an actor. He's a famous actor. But he dies immediately, doesn't he? He was a cop. No, no, he's the cop.

Who was it? He was one of the detectives. He's a, he's a, He's a famous actor and I can't remember his face. That's how little I remembered the movie. He's a famous actor. Like he's a, oh my God, who was it? It's somebody who.

Tyree's Gibson. Yes, it was Tyree's, that's it. That's what I thought was in the Fast and Fears universe. I was like, oh, shit. Did you imagine Dominic Torretto fighting Morbius? Dude, I, I, I, I, shoo not. I would have pulled my, I would have pulled my dick out and jacked off immediately. I'm, I kid you not. I would have been so fucking turned out. Could you imagine Michael

Morbius fighting Dominic Torreto and getting his ass beat? And losing horribly. Like there's there's points in the fight where people are doing this. He's fighting Morbius and that Dr. Who guy at the same time. And robbing them. They both are fucking like crying because they're there's it's just too much. There's one moment where there's one moment I got more family where that came from Punches fucking Morbius in the side and he unmoorbs He's just back to normal He's back to being crippled

And everybody's like no No No please don't I'm so convinced He knocks the morbi out of him I need this fasted morbius Fast and morbius. That's Jurassic.

That's like a Jurassic Park Transformers collaboration, bro. That's just crazy. Oh, my God. I think we found a thumbnail. The fast and morbius. And at the end, he joins the crew, and now they just have Morbius a part of that crew. Oh my dude

It's stupid because that's not even That's not even like outside of the realm of a possibility in that universe That's what's so fucking stupid about it There's a moment in a last movie where Dominic Tretto catches a car No John Cena catches a car And I'm like oh He could probably be morbius I think I'm being dead serious

I think two Dominic Toretos could beat up one Spider-Man I agree I actually I think I think two Toretos could beat up video game Spider-Man, which is the most consistent, like, most actual, like, contextual he's been in a while. I think they'd put the beats on him. I think they would kill him. I can't fucking, this, this, this pitch is so fucking disgusting to me.

I, like, I immediately, I just, all I want to do is, is Photoshop immediately, fucking, like, I want to write this script, dude. The idea of Morbi is coming in and being like, we got to stop. We need to put this out into the universe. Dom's gone rogue. Dom's gone rogue. And it's like Dom's gone rogue. I,

you know, one guy that could stop him and then like Morbius comes in. And he'll be, it'll be a Photoshop of animated series Morbius and Mr. Clean. And it'll,

it'll say fast and Morbius with like some hot wheels in the background. It should be straight up Dom, I think. It should be straight up Dom. Like from gears. No, no,

Dom. That's a little too deep, it's too deep of a cut. That's too, yes, it should be straight up like fucking Vin Diesel. and Morbius walking at each other.

Like, Mike Vindee is looking back. And Morbiz is walking towards him from the animated series. Dude, as far as, as, as far as, uh, it doesn't exist. I'm just saying like, there's no, because I was thinking some, some brilliant mind, what has to have put this together, right? Oh, dude, yeah. I saw, we, we were coming up with some stuff in the discord

the other day where I, I think we said, like, that he, like, we proposed like a movie where Morbius was morbiously obese. And that's, that's, I've seen like a million of those. So like, we're not going to cat, we're not going to top fast and morbiose. There's a breaking bad one. There's a breaking bad one where this M.O. Rorbius. M.O. We have to tweet out fast and morbis. We got to get this shit out rolling as soon as possible because it's not out yet.

And the world is being deprived from it. Like they need to. Yeah, we're right now fast and morbius. No, no, no, no. I think it needs to be introduced. I think it needs to be introduced with some type of art. It needs to be the episode. needs to be the episode.

But let's move on. We're super late in this episode, and we haven't even gotten to questions yet. Oh, right. So we'll probably have, we'll probably have a little bit longer, a longer one today. The fast and morbidus.

Oh, man, that's so fucking funny. That's so good. That's so, I hate that, though. I love, I love the people that can do Dominic's voice, like shitty.

Like, they can do a good, like, deep raspy. Like, I want to hear the blah and, like, Dominic. Like, I want to hear that exchange of dialogue. I want to see, I want to see, Dominic become morbed for a period of time.

Like it's not a long lasting one before a period of time towards the end of the movie. He's like family, family and morbius might be the only thing that I can stop. So he takes someone Morbius's blood and he morbs out himself. Holy shit. And then there's Morbius Dominic Torreto and he's just powerful. He's really unstoppable. He's fucking family and morbius. It might be the only thing that can stop.

Oh, what would be the great enemy at the end? The enemy at the end would be like, I don't know. It'd be like a little kid on a tricycle with like a shucking shotgun. Like son, why? Like something Who would be a good enemy at the end? Like the IRS? Because all those fucking cars they steal

Like some shit It's got to be I don't know It's got to be something like just fantastic No they gotta fight Spider-Man They just have to They gotta fight Spider-Man Or like

No no it's Miles Morales And they beat him to death He dies No no no no It's just a really skinny vampire And his name is lesbious And they have to fight him.

They have to Fierbius. Furebius. Furebius. We got to move on. We got to get to questions. Fucking thin. He's so thin.

He looks like Nospheranto. God damn. You're pretty thin. I'm going to beat the shit out of you anyway. Family. You're so thin. You clearly don't have family. I don't need family.

Your family would feed you. So you don't have family. family vampires like me. I'm a vampire now because I've taken more beef with his blood. Now I'm so much strong He turns his whole family. I turned my whole family to vampire so they'll live

forever because family is so God damn you don't turn me to a zombie motherfucker. Family is that important I never want to lose my family so I turned them into vampires. What's the questions? Let's go to questions. They drive, they drive fucking coffee.

go-karts. Fucking God. Fucking cough it. Morbius pulls up at a hearse. Morbius pulls up at a hearse.

He's like, get in. Oh, no. And then that fucking vampire music starts playing. Da-da-da-da-da. Nour-N-N-N-N-N-N-A. URBS is morbing. We can't stop it.

I need this so fucking badly. You don't, you don't understand this. That's crazy. And at the end of the day, I've been preaching the gospel. The way they can stop

Fiorbius is if Dominic Karet, if Dom from from Fyers'Urits that's not a way to kill him, as I'm going to put him down. And it's, it's holy water. It's holy water on.

We got to move on. We got to go to questions. Do it now. I can. I'm not turned on. Marcus, kiss me. All right, let's go.

Morbius. Kiss Dom. Morbius. Kiss. Miss me. Morbius, kiss me. Kiss me so I could squirt. I hate this.

Do it now, Don. Do it now. Kiss me so I can squirt, Morbius. That's the most insane thing I've ever. That's the most insane. This episode is so fucking all over the place. It has the biggest contrast we've ever had. It's like the most serious we've been, and this is easily.

the most off the rails things have gotten. I don't know how we went from gun control to squirting Morbius. I think for this episode, I have to put a cold open just so people like hey, you may not like that shit, but stick around. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. For sure. Definitely a cold open. All right. Let's move on to some questions from our from our audience over at patreon.com slash the snack thing. Dom quickly piss me so I can squirt.

I want to see Chris versus Derek in the ring and the loser gets fucked with no lube, Rodin. That's his name. God damn. Does it scare y'all that one day your kids will be able to go back and see all the fucked shit you have said because internet? I'm actually, I'm excited about that, to be honest. Yeah, it's going to be the first time in history where that's really been possible for

like the overwhelming majority of people. You know, like we didn't have access to our great grandfather's Facebook feeds. You know, we couldn't look at, I couldn't look at my grandma's Twitter account. like when she was like a teenager or like a like a 20 i think that's just interesting you know i still look back at like some videos i made in 2009 and i'm like wow this is cringe but i'm glad i kept this you know like i'm glad i can still like access it if i want because it's just interesting to see shit change and i think it'd be awesome i think it be awesome also low-key it's probably a good thing because my memory is terrible

so it's just it's just good to have like a proper record of things that have happened and thoughts that I've had. Fuck, my kid's gonna see the shit I did, and I'm like, yep, I did it, so what? That's it. So we didn't, you want to fight me on it? We didn't do anything detestable. Like, it's just stupid humor.

It's just immature. Yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't mind if my kid had the same sense of humor as me. That would be great, actually. We can bond better. Yeah, that would be pretty ideal. If they're like into, like, that dry British shit, and they're like, oh, okay.

Like, what do we, what do we do here? If my kid, if my kid isn't funny, I won't love them. much but I'll still love them but like if they're like because I don't know like having a non-foney kid that sounds like the worst thing ever you just keep having kids until they're funny throw the other ones away man you know you know what we want we want uh we want uh what is it uh post birth abortions or whatever we want you know what the liberals want you know what we want yeah yeah yeah you know what we want you want a shotgun blast the kid as soon as it's

delivered you like uh not not that one yeah not this one until seven i i have until 17 to abort i think You pick it up You pop it Like a fucking monster It just It doesn't even It doesn't even pop It's like those stress balls

Where like it just like kind of like It just pours through your fingers Between your fingers That's so much worse You know those jelly things Like all the juice And it's shaped like a fucking Like a strawberry

Or like a peach or something like that People like on YouTube They bite them and they eat them You do that to your kid Like Kronos? Oh my God. God. Oh my God.

This is that Kronos painting. Just fucking pop your kid's head, drink what's inside and toss it. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Wasn't there a Southwark episode where that was like a whole? Christopher Reeve. Yeah, yeah, Christopher Reeve was eating stem cells out of a bit. He was like cracking babies open like fucking pez dispensers and sucking the stem cells out.

And then we could toss the baby. Like you wouldn't even, it was the best part was tossing it after he was done. That show. That show used to be fucking outlandish. See, that's what I'm talking about. People talk about, like, politics, this and I'll quite, sure, sure, Tim Sells was a part of an argument, but, like, doing shit like that. That was what I loved. Just outrageous bullshit.

Oh, yeah, so good. Sweeney's E621 account has over 70 pages worth of art. I'm sure that's a joke, but I don't know what E621 is. No, I don't either. Yeah. Damn. You might be more permanently online than we are, man. This is our job.

But, uh, literally. Yeah, but, uh, yeah. but they wrote in. I keep saying he wrote in. It was probably like not fair to assume, but at the same time I will assume it. I want to ask, has a fandom ever ruined something for you so bad

that all you see is red? I ask this because Souls fanboys have made it, have made it so that every time I hear about FromSoft, I hope to God they do some Activision Blizzard shit or go the rock star route and milk the fuck out of Eldon Rings online mode. Jesus Christ, you got to calm down. That's a lot of hostility. Software has, I don't know how you could think that about firm.

Like, they're not, like, they're not, like, they're not even slightly close to, like, Blizzard. No, no, you're, that's not what he's saying. I know, but, like, I just, I don't know how he got to that point. That's what I'm wondering. Well, no, he hates the fan. He's, he's so mad about the fan base that he hopes to spite them that they fucking do the antithesis of what my, my idea is, like, how could he have gotten so scorn? Like, that's such a, I, I, I, no, I, I look at it.

There's a part of me that agrees with this guy. where I fucking, I'm not, I'm not a hipster. However, I can't fucking, I hate gatekeeping. I really do. I hate it in comedy, like stand up. I hate it. I hate when people are like this, because there's the argument for get good.

I totally get it. Yeah, you do want to get better at anything that you fucking do. But the people that are like, oh, man, it would be nicer if they just had this extra, and they're just immediately fucking swarm you. Like, how dare you even suggest that they would even do any? This is a perfect thing. and fucking from software is an entity.

How dare it is perfect in every way. You know, like there's people that are like that. And I'm like, hey, it's a video game guy. Calm down. Guys. Kingston, why are you smiling like a fucking guy? What did you see? I tweeted Dom.

Morbius quickly kiss me so I can squirt. And I was like, Morbius, I can't. I'm morbbing. And someone put in the comments, the fast and the morbid. Are you fucking Dude, why would you fucking do that? That's not, those things don't, that wouldn't create the fast and the Morbius.

That's the gears of Morbius. That's the gears of Morbius. Most people don't know you're talking about fucking Dom from Gears of Warth. The more famous Dom is Dominic Torretto from fucking fast and furious. That's the Gears of Warbius. The Fast and a Warbius.

You, you, I messed up. I did. You let it out of you. That's your fault, man. messed up, but I didn't think they'd figure it out so quick. How would they not? Like, you gave them, you planted the seed. Because our joke, our joke is, Dom, I'm squirting.

Dom, I'm squirting. If we worked up to it, why wouldn't they work up to it? Because that's the whole fucking point. The joke for our podcast has been for over a year, Dom, I'm squirting. Dom, I'm about to squirt. They might not listen to the podcasts. People who follow you on the, people following on Twitter might not be listening to the show. Dom, oh, a Morbius movie.

Oh my God, fast in the Morvious. Morvious sounds like Furious. That's why I fucking said it. Because Morbius reminded me of Furious. I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so sorry. You should delete that fucking tweet, homie. You should delete that fucking...

You're so good at this thing specifically. I'll go rid of it. I'm sorry. That's so awesome. All right, let's move on. they figured it out that fast. Yeah, I mean, dude, it wasn't that hard. It wasn't that hard.

It's not that difficult. For us to get there, it wasn't that hard. Literally, I just started talking about. I got to delete this. This can't be on internet anymore. No, yeah. We have to, we have to. And then watch this guy.

Remember that guy's username because he's probably going to come and be like, oh, that was my idea. Yeah, I found out. Remember that dude's username. That would be awesome if he does that. Quick. they were like oh anyway

yeah oh yeah an actual do you have an actual answer to his question oh for me anime their question

anime anime in general they people made attack on Titan gay for me that's for sure title of time was always kind of little fruity

though but yeah I agree I mean maybe I would I would probably I would probably agree

where like it's anime has kind of like, I used to think it was cool. Smash as well. Oh, God, I hate Smash Bros. now. Why? Because they all smell. Well, they all smell. And also the fact is that, like, Sakurai spends, like, I don't know, six months straight without seeing his family working on these characters. People are like, I didn't want that. I want it. Master Chief. It's like, bro.

Every single smash character that's added to the... Dude, Kasia in Smash Bros plays like Kasia from Tekin' Seven. That is really. remarkable design. And people... Oh, God, here we go. I don't play... I don't play smash, so I don't really have a leg to stand on. If I were going to pick a character from Tekken,

the last thing I would have thought of was Kasia. How is that the last person you thought? That's so stupid... Never mind. What's your point? Continue. It's not so stupid. Continue.

When has Kasia been the fan fucking favorite? In any iteration of Tekin, there's seven of them. Kasia is literally. the face of Tekin, Derek. It's Kauzia. No, he's not. It's literally those two. How many? It's Hayhachi. And Kazuya literally. Jin, his son.

I'm grown the fuck away. Derek. Who's on the cover of Tekin three, bitch? Three is when Jin comes into the, he becomes the main character in three. That is three. Yes. Yes. And ever since three. No, he has not. No. Kasia has taken a back step. No, he has not. Majorly. Five, four, it was Kasia beating up gin because gin beat up kasia then five it was gin again because jinn became lead of the army then six it was kasia no it was kasia and lars because you find out their brothers then seven it's kasia what i'm saying is there are there's hay hachi which makes sense hey hachi makes sense

i've always and i'm just saying because he's he's he's so i i i may not you may not you may not like Kasia and I don't like Kazia and I like Kassia I like Jinn more I like I like Jim more as well I just feel like there's people like oh man how much more would you have gotten out of it if it was like I just feel like he's such a not vibrant character cause he's the main that's what I feel Kaseya is literally the main character but don't get me wrong that doesn't mean that he's good that doesn't mean that he's a good character that's what I feel you're right that's what I feel I would have rather and rather instead of them putting like Ryu inside of smash I would have rather

the Armeca because Armeca is way more vibrant and dynamite Damn it. Or even Chun Lee or something like that. Dude. Okay. Chun Lee is that's a go-to. That I can 100% agree. Obviously, biisely, I agree with Armica. Biocely, I agree with Armika. But I feel like the fan base would have rejoiced by having this big titted, big-ass fucking female thick wrestler in Smash.

Yes. No one would disagree with that. I agree. It's like they put Terry Bogart in from Fight of Fury. I would have rather, Kanoichi. The girl with the big tis is the fan of tithies are jingling all over the place. Oh. That's May. That's May.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, May. I don't however you pronounce. I think it would be my. Wouldn't it though? It may I. But it doesn't matter. Sorry. So I'm getting weaved out. Let's fucking move on. Let's move on. That made me gross me out. Hey, when people would be like, like, see, motherfuckers, people will say manga. Excuse me. Excuse me. It's manga. And I want to kick them in the fucking face.

There's no hard A. I'm going to kick them in the, I want to kick them. There's no hard a. It's actually, you hard are. It's actually, uh, it's actually called mangir. Manger Skills Manga Manga

that includes a black MC is called Manger Could you imagine that MC's a black person It's a Manger Oh my God Dude

And they don't get it The Japanese don't get it Manga I'm sad I'm sad that they picked I'm sad that they picked Tkazia and not fucking king

My boy, King would have been cooler. He's such a... He's such a... There's so many... Kuma, Kuma would have been cool. Hayatsu would have been cool. Kuma would have been cool. Jinn would have been cool fucking...

Dude, what about Mokajun that fucking wooden guy? Mokijin? Dude, there's so... Lars? I fucking love Lars. Dude, literally Yoshimitsu. Like, come on. Oh, dude.

He's another sword character. People would have bitched about that. But, um... Okay, fair enough, whatever. You're probably right, but Yoshimitsu is also, like, not exclusively tacking. Yoshimutsu's weird. He's just Danco. Does anybody know who is Yoshimitsu?

Like, where is he from? Yoshi Mitsu is, I know the lore of Yoshimitsu. I don't know what game they're from exactly. His lore is bullshit. I first saw him. I first saw him in Tekken 2. That was when I first saw him. Yoshimitsu is pretty much, he's like a hero who it's a title given to various people to become the Yoshimitsu.

And it's been passed down from time to time. But has it been passed down through realities? Is that what happened? It makes no sense and why they all look like aliens. Like what is this technol? Like no, some of them look like skeletons and then some look like aliens. But it's, so he is, he is, uh, in Tekken and Soul Calibur. Yeah.

He's in Soul Edge. He's in a Soul Calibre universe and Tech in which would technically lend it saying that, okay, this is in the same universe. Just soul calibers is a long time ago, I guess. So I refi, Derek, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You, your, your statement is. I'm trying to make sense of it or what?

Based on what we see your statement has validity. But I will never accept the fact that people like those motherfuckers in Soul Calibur. So Calibur is insane. Like there's a pirate ghost motherfucker. That's a freaking, what do they? That's Ivy's dad. Servantes. Savantes.

Like, Tekin is insane. Don't get me wrong. There's people that have devil jeans that can fly around and shoot laser beams out their head. But Soul Calibur is way more insane at Tekken. I guess. I mean, dude, there's Roger, the Foxing Kangaroo. There's a scientist in Tekken 3. The scientist, I forgot his name. I forgot his name.

I remember saying three. He, dude, he farts. And if he farts on you, it's like an insta kill. It is this. Dr. Bosconovich, right? That sounds. I don't remember exactly what it is. In Tekken 3?

Yeah, it sounds right. But at the same time, I'm like, I'm like, I don't trust you sometimes. You're like, you pull on my leg. I don't trust you. Because he's like a secret character. And like he has like a farting move that if it touches you, it's like it does like 500% damage or something. Something. It's so fucking absurd.

Yeah. He's Dr. B tech and three. Bob Skonovic or something. Yeah. I think you're right. Yeah. I looked it up. Tekin three fart?

Look, all I'm saying is that there's a ton of character. There are. There was a ton of potential with the characters they added. there are they added Pokemon there there's wait he's an alcoholic maybe I mean he has like a drunken style so I guess that makes sense yeah he's holding a bottle in Tekken 3 it's been so long as I play Tekken 3

oh I forgot I have a fight if you guys people are listening there's a fight K2 it's a great fucking launch platform that has 8,000 fighting games on it so it's an emulator that's pretty cool And so it's insane. It's pretty cool. So I was playing a little bit of Marvel's Capcom.

I was playing a little bit of rival schools from Dreamcast. I was playing Capcom versus S&K2. I was playing Zero Team, which is a beat-em-up, that has a fucking this chick with a pink thong. And they probably put, I think they put half of their budget into her ass because it looks too good and everything else around. It looks like shit. It's fucking awesome. It looks too good. It looks like shit.

But it's pretty crazy. Fight K2 is the shit. and it's free. You can sign up for free. And this is not, I'm not getting paid to say this, even though they'll be awesome what they did. I'd love to be sponsored by these motherfuckers.

But, uh, yeah, it's, it's fucking amazing. And it's pretty easy. Until then, yeah. Until they sponsor us,

they suck. Fucking sponsor me right now, or else I'll come and I'll come. All right. Let's move on. Yeah, let's do it. Uh,

Dichelis Cage, greetings to the podcast, who between three people makes up one Dennis Reynolds. Is that a positive thing? Well, yeah, because then it was insane. Because that's insane, but I guess that means like we're not on our own quite insane. That monstrous.

I'll take it a complimentary. He says, say you're running to be president. What would your campaign song be and why? You don't have to ask the artist for permission, not that that stopped politicians in the past. That is true. Mine would be penis music for sure. Damn it!

It would be, without a doubt, be penis music. Or just like the ape escape soundtrack, because it's basically the same thing. It's just this, this cacophonous fucking beat that sounds like vaguely techno, but also like anxiety-inducing. It sounds like a panic attack is about to happen. And I want that feeling to follow me every time I step on stage. And I don't want it to stop when I start my speech, by the way. I want to continue to persist underneath it. Yeah, I want to get louder.

Until like you can't even until everybody's Everybody's speakers are just bass boosted to shit You can't hear a word I'm saying What would mine be? Mine be um I'll tell you mine It'll be uh I want to fuck you in the ass by the Out There Boys

That's that a real song It's a classic yeah Out There Boys Yeah so I found this It's just well out there boys There's no The But I found this song because there's a commercial Apparently this is like a commercial

That's real where a family's like, oh, learn how to speak English type of commercial. And it's showing like a foreign family driving listening to that song. But it just sounds good, but they don't know what it's saying. And it's like, I want to fuck you in the ass. But bam, bam, bam, bam.

And it's just like a, it's like a stereotypical 90s. You remember the 90s house music? Yeah. And then everybody was like, like, it's like a Night of the Roxbury type of track, except for they couldn't play that. Except for they couldn't play that track. I'm going to be like interior crocodile alligator.

alligator. I drive a Chevrolet movie theater and I just playing like as I walk out, boom, boom, and I walk out to the beat of it. Oh my God. I think that'd be very funny. I, yeah, I would want or this like the gangster rap

niggas song. That one's pretty good. That's pretty classic. No, it'd be the sonic theme song. I don't know. What did you call it? Span in most miles. Gangers Paradise. It'd be Gax's Paradise. Let me sick.

The Sonic theme song, Gangsters Paradise? If I wanted something to be real, like, if I had like a real song, there's a song called Rise Rise by Ramstein. And the intro to that song, it sounds so fucking epic. It's always like, I always thought of myself, if I was a wrestler or something, I'll come out to that shit. Because it just sounds like the most epic thing ever. So as a politician, I would be really gaudy, all these fucking choir fucking keys and stuff. stuff and like just i just be like raising like you know i'd just be completely gody and and just making everybody believe that i'm the second coming of christ or whatever ramstein makes really good

music to walk out to generally speaking like like i i don't i've never really sat down and like been like yeah you know i feel like listening to it as like recreationally but like when i hear it it does feel cool like like when like i remember when i saw the destroy all humans trailer and like that came out and I was like okay oh wow weird they're doing destroy humans and they used

fucking uh ickville and I remember being like this is fucking really awesome and it works super well for this fucking game too because it has that like

that uh what is that alien sounding kind of like beep bo booboo beep okay like it's just so fucking good but uh I don't know man

like a real one a real one like a genuine answer would Probably it'd probably be some Spanish shit because like I feel like that would be like a really off putting to a lot of people I don't know what I'd like like like somewhat like let Norteno shit where they're like Quincorians going all crazy and shit. Oh my god. Ew. No no no. That's more Mexican music. That's more Mexican music. Yeah more like oh you mean like Spanish Spanish sorry. More like Caribbean like that like a well like actually Spain Spanish. Yeah like like they're not they're different. I would say like Cuban. style like like uh like uh i see gloria like gloria estefan or like elvis krespo or like uh or uh or uh the gypsy kings or something or something that song dude that song is fucking exploding on tictoe at that song

dude that song is fucking exploding on tic tuck right now because there's like a whole meme based around and i'm like oh this is this feels weird because this is just this is just music i listen to which song and like it's i don't remember the spanish words exactly but it's uh it's called uh Brueheria B.RU The song's BRU Yeah yeah yeah

It's a little witch Is that the name of the song? No That's what Bruha mean I can't remember If you look up the TikToks I thought Bruehria was Well I think I think it is witchcraft

I don't think it's actually a witch Well Brouha is the witch It's just a song called Oh Yeah it's definitely like something like that But it's by the It's by a band called El Grand Cambo de Puerto Rico. So I have a feeling it just maybe.

What means witchcraft? You're right, Derek. Yeah. I'm surprised you knew that because I didn't even know that. I knew it because, well, I know, I know, I know, I know, I grew up in La Habra. I grew up in La Habra with a lot of people from Obregon Sonora. Yeah. So there's a metal band called Brouheria actually as well, so.

I don't know What would I pick? If I picked the real song I mean Think of the song Is there a song That you can think of That gives you the fucking chills

Like I would pick a song like that Like when you hear it Or I'd go to the complete opposite direction And pick like Every song that gives me the chills I can't play that Like

I wouldn't be able to play that You couldn't even like Oh what am I saying What am I saying? What am I saying? It would be It would be something from the halo soundtrack, one of them.

Oh. Like, I'm an idiot. Why wouldn't it be the main theme? Why wouldn't it be like that shit? Dude, imagine how people would fucking, imagine how people would perceive you if you walked out to that. Like, you're literally a god. Here's the thing.

It's like the main theme is very overplayed. Everybody knows it. But it's not the, it's not, it's not, the main theme is not even close to the best song on the Halo soundtrack. It's just not. I understand what you're saying. But that's not what the people demand. You know what I'm saying?

That's true. If you came out to those motherfuckers singing that shit, their dicks are hard and they're willing to believe whatever you say. He's right. I would come out to like in amberclad or something and people would hear it and it's like, this sounds vaguely familiar and then the beat would come in and then the guitar would come in and they'd be like, what the fuck is this? This is religious.

And then they'd be like, oh, this is Halo. What the fuck is this? Like it's intrinsic. Like that, especially too, that soundtrack is fucking stupidly iconic. Like everyone If you play through that game If you hear that shit again It'll come back to you

Because it's just so fucking good I know what's like that There's so many Man there's two tracks Now that I'm thinking about it There's one try And they're both from sequels Which is funny

God of War II Which is Like anyone that play the franchise It's the best one in the series The soundtrack's nuts You fight Perseus The fight is so fucking Underwhelming

But the music is it is too good for that bullshit fight because this bitch is just fucking invisible and then you just need to like track his footsteps and then whoop his ass. It's so boring. But the fucking soundtrack on it is the most intense music ever. It starts off very like almost sounds like jaws.

Like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then it just fucking goes crazy. Like motherfuckers are in the background like just playing and sweating and shit how intense it gets. And I'm like this doesn't, this should have been reserved. for any other fight, but anyway, that would be fucking awesome. Because I just like, I like shit that just like,

it gets you hyped in and it has like an inspiring, feeling to it and shit. There's a song called Cress by Flying Lotus. And it's the most like mellow, just like violin, like Afro themed like Japanese punk music. And I'd feel like that's a good song to play. Like I'd come out. There's no words. This is beat. I'd come out.

That'd be playing. I'd look around. I'd be like, all right. It's time to change the world. I can think of like a minute. Now that I'm thinking about it and all this music is flooding. my head I have like a million answers because like now I'm thinking of like there's a song from Gears of War II soundtrack called Armored Prayer that plays it. It's like the horde music that like kind

of begins to play every time a round ends. But like the full track, it sounds villainous so I probably wouldn't play it. But it probably wouldn't be a great image for me. But but but it's damn fucking good. Like Armored Prayer from Gears of War II is like one of the fucking one of the just coolest fucking soundtrack tracks that I think I've ever heard. It's like up there with like pretty much everything from other video game soundtracks. It's fucking dope. It gets you pumped because it's got this like this back and forth kind of like these strings that kind of like like they almost ping pong back and forth and like rise.

What is it called in? Because I can't I can't picture. I don't remember. It's called Armored Prayer. I think the fuck out of years. I remember that song exactly. Gears of War II armored prayer. If you go to like maybe like a minute 30 in, you'll recognize it.

It starts off a little bit slow, but it like. I should know this I fucking years or two was my like life but it's it's just fucking dope it sounds

pretty good it sounds good yeah it's just fucking yeah years or two soundtracks so good actually

now I think about I want to play through it again right I was I was just thinking of that where I'm like God what oh my god

it is it's they play they play the middle part as soon as you and when they're doing like do don't doon don't

don't don't like they're giving like all the People who killed and all the shit you'd achieved. I remember. Yeah, but they play it like when the scoreboard, but like the whole track is amazing. And there's rumors actually that they're going to do a Gears,

like a, like a Marcus Phoenix collection type gears thing. Markiaz. Or like a Gears Collection remaster thing. If that happens, I'm stoked as hell because it's definitely going to come to PC. 100% and it's like, let's go. So finally. Years 2 in such a long time. It's crazy.

Gears 2 is damn good. All the original Gears games are good. The first one is age the worst, I guess. Three is, three is, three is great. It's, but the story is not as good as two. Even Horde mode is not that good in Gears 3. Horde isn't as great. Horde is not as good either.

But Beast is fun. Horde is not that good. Beast is awesome. Beast is cool and then the multiplayer is genuinely, genuinely fun. I liked them because I played the multiplayer a lot when it first came out. And I enjoyed it, but I remember being like, I just don't like this. very much. But I love playing

Beast. I love this becoming a fucking berserker and just ruining the game for everybody. Because they put a berserk. What were they called? What are they called? Berserker's actually. The blind ones are berserkers. He's run around and just run through people. It was

amazing. I love that. I love when you'd explode by just touching you. They would throw tantrums too. They would hear something and be like, God damn it! Just run at you. Dude, that moment in Gears War I, is like some of the in the church

stuff, that I, like they did such a good job with that shit. Yeah, even like the final boss it was kind of like the train scene and shit

like when he's coming and he's like, it's very imposing like, it's a dude. I remember when they showed him one of your, you're walking out of the church

and then the bersercher shows up and you're like, what the fuck? And you're shooting at it and is just not getting hurt and it runs into you and you turn into pieces of yourself.

And I was like excuse me what the more i think about it the more i kind of realize that like i actually am like a huge fan of gears of war like i never felt that way before until i started actually like i never felt i never feel like a fan of gears of war when i'm playing them like i'm playing through them and i'm like oh that's a nice game what a what a fun game and then i think back to how good they are generally and i'm like oh i actually like this a lot particularly gears of war one too for me man those games are so i think gears of war gears of war one had like such way better game physics than had any right to have

at that time and then gears too had just like the hoard mode was such a such a man people now modern times people would try to sell you hoard mode for like $60 think of that like people would try to sell you hoard mode now for like 60 they'd be like it's infinite play here's $60 give me then it's like it's like it's like it's It's so good. There's so many guns. Yeah, there are entire games now

that are just basically that. And that's it. The fucking, you know, explosive bow, how you would wait until someone's running towards somebody else

to take cover. You'd hit him at the head with the bow and then you'd kill three people. Or you'd kick the little explosives into people and they die. Ah. The torque bow is so sick.

The fucking that noise when you hit with a torque bow hits, I love that. Like, ah, and then just a couple seconds, boom, that is so satisfying.

They were really good with sound design. And the trash talk? Even the head shots, the head shots and gears are so satisfying. They're so much louder than everything else. Like, it makes no sense that they're that loud. Or the, oh my God. But it's just, it's like he can literally fucking snipe someone from like fucking 100 yards away. And then it sounds like they're fucking right in front of you.

The back of their head bust, the fucking the grenade, the fucking chainsaw. Like the, like the, I can't do the stuff. So it's like. Like a like a like a like a like a treble sound first For it starts up And then while you're running through people Like you're both screaming at each other While it's happened

Great great The first two games are just Such good video games man Take me back Boom That's my favorite Boom I remember the guy that had the grenade that he was swinging

Me and my friends called him battle I don't know why we called him battle He had like the shield And then he had the fucking like the grenade Did he slam on the floor? Yeah, I would call. He was the, that was the muller, I think.

We would call him a battle. For some reason he'd call him a battle. And he'd like, ah, no, battles on you. And he'd come and he'd slam his explosive down and kill you. And then you could be able to take his thing. And like on Gears of War II, there was a day one map where like,

um, you could hide over on a ledge and be able to, like, shoot people that it'd be like cars on the side right here. And then you'd go and you'd get the magnum. If you get the magnum and he's shield, you could run around. fucking people up. And I remember loving it so much.

Ah, dude. Well, there was also that strategy on river, which was like my favorite one, which was like, uh, it was like this symmetrical map where it was like a bridge in the middle and there was like a river in the middle and then there were like these two kind of towers. And if you got those maller shields, you could like, the strategy would always be to

take two of them down, take their shields and blockade the door so that no one could get into the tower and it was like this whole defense thing. dude goaded fucking goaded

video games revive me yeah yeah yeah fucking carmines the carmine family dying in that series

revive me oh not you not you carmine you're gonna fucking carmine don't go out and cover if you go out of cover you're gonna boom dude

every game one of them died bro that's awesome it is crazy I think in three one of them didn't die I think three he survived but every other

karma it was like ABC D-E-F Carmines. That's when they were trying to say, oh, it's over. It's over. The franchise is over. And then all of a sudden,

they popped out fucking four more. They popped down, I never played four. I played five. I never played four. And I was like, I heard four is the one that you could skip.

Like, that was one that you could definitely skip four. That was not the one that everybody would really like the most. But like, I just remember loving that series so much in the first two.

Four is, is fine. The problem, four is, it's got a lot of good story moments. but like four is a lot more boring than the other. Just because like four is mostly robots. So you don't get like,

Gears of War is about like cutting through meat and shit. You know, like shooting and there's gore and blood and shit. Like hidden robots just doesn't feel the same. It feels awful. The sound and everything. I was like, oh God.

They can't say help. They can't say please don't kill me and mean it, you know. They can't put their hands against me like, don't kill me because I was killing you a robot. Oh, talk. I like five a lot though. There's a deal. for five. It's actually wonderful.

I never played it. I should do that. Yeah. I think it's free. I'm not super sure how it works, but anyway. Cup of Madik wrote in. He says, hey, snark tank gang. I have thought, uh, I have thought when it comes to, what? When it comes to playing old games that you've never experienced before or want to revisit. Oh, I have a thought when it comes to playing old games that you've never experienced for and or want to revisit. Which type of gaming experience is better?

Emulating old games versus buying and re-released old games. This is written a little bit confusingly But I think what he's saying is Is it better to emulate or to play on the original hardware? I think is what you're saying? No, it's either the idea of emulating Versus buying re-released old games and games complations Like the new Capcom fighting collection coming late June

So I personally I don't emulate This is something I got made fun of You, I was getting flamed on about it before I think last stream, everybody was making fun of me because I don't emulate. I just don't emulate.

That's me personally. I'd rather buy the game again. That's just my personal thing. I'm not against anyone that does it. I'm never going to insult someone that does it. I just personally don't do it. You know, I'd rather have the game itself.

But there are oftentimes where you just can't get the game. You can't find it. That's the whole point. You can't find it, you know? And it's like, yeah, by all means, get the game if you can. But for people like Nintendo, that just are withholding so many games for no good fucking reason. You know what? Do your fucking thing, man.

And there's a lot of old games, too, like, that you just can't buy anymore. And even if you could, the profits wouldn't be going to the people who made it anyway. Like, I have Ape Escape for the original PS1. Hooking my PS1 up to my 4K TVs, you know, I could do it, but it would make more sense for me to just emulate it. And I feel better about that because I own Ape Escape, and I bought it when it was out. I feel a little bit more morally okay with it. But generally speaking, um,

I don't, I don't know. Like, I, I prefer to play things on their original hardware if I can just because, like, that to me is half the experience. Like something,

something about playing Marvel versus Capcom 2 on like a fucking mouse and keyboard, like a psycho or like, even just a modern, even just a modern controller feels wrong to me. Like, like, that was Xbox PS2 time. So like for me,

like, when I play that game, I want to play it on either one of those specific controller. I'm weird about that. And it's only like super specific games that I feel, though. Like specifically like nostalgic games. Like old, old shit. It comes to Halo, it's like whatever. That's on PC and all sorts of shit.

Like, it doesn't really make a difference. Emulation is awesome. It's cool. I like it. I think it helps in the preservation of games because so many studios are really bad at that shit. Dude, I can't remember. remember what it was, but I think it was like Mega Man Battle Network or something. It was like one of the Mega Man games where they just don't have those files anymore.

They can't re-release those games. That's so unfortunate because I love the Battle Network games. I constantly cry about wanting those games back. And I just can't have them. I cry about it. They couldn't if they wanted to. They couldn't re-release those games that they wanted to. I can't remember if it was Battle Network or if it was like another Mega Man games.

I would, I literally am going to buy a Wii U so I can just have the Battle Network games again. I'm going to purchase that for that. That's so stupid. That's so stupid. That's why I like emulators. That's why I was plugging Fightcade for that specific reason. Because like Marvel's Capcom 2 won't is not in stores. You got to play.

And I'm like I don't, my dream cast isn't even in the same fucking state as me right now. So like I still have my shit in storage. And so it's like, all right. I will just play it. I'll emulate it. And same with other Dreamcast games And other games that just Companies just won't fucking put it in

Steam or whatever Because I would fucking buy it That's the thing Like I would buy it if it was there It would be easier It would be more convenient for me You know how badly I want to get Pokemon Heart Gold

I want that game so bad And it should just be on a switch There's no reason why that couldn't There's no reason for Nintendo This is what makes it worse For Nintendo particularly Nintendo was so previously along with it being a home console.

It was a portable console. So it should just be available. They should have those games be like, all right, we're bringing them all back. Here you go. Give me it available to get them, you know? I think eventually they're going to do a Game Boy advance slash game boy like online.

They're doing like, hey, you pay this amount of money. You get to play these games. But I don't want that. Just let me buy the game so I can have that whenever I want to play it. That's all I want. Hopefully, hopefully, I mean, just hopefully just as things move forward in the future, because one thing, I mean, who would have thought God of War 28T would be on fucking a PC? So it's one of those things where it's like at a certain point, maybe. I think just Colin.

Maybe when we're- Colin was the only person that probably thought that was going to happen. I probably. No one was even asking for it because they didn't think that was ever a thing. It was like, why would I even, why would I even ask for that when that's their main bread and butter? why would they put it on anything else? So I didn't even think of like, oh, I wish this was on PC.

I never thought. Never thought. Now everyone's like fucking Blood-Born. Like, what the fuck, man? This game's like seven years old. Let's go. Let's fucking go and put it on. It's like these reasons why people would like to emulate Bloodborn

if it were, it's not that simple since it's a little bit more powered than like emulating a PS3 game or something. But like... Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, the PS3 is a fucking disaster. Those games are still only available on modern PlayStation hardware through streaming. You can only stream those games.

Right. Which is stupid. Because the cell architecture is... Well, it's because the cell architecture on PlayStation was so stupid on PlayStation 3. Every individual company manipulated the cells in different ways. So there can't be like a just one-size-fits-all emulation approach to... Like, there has to be like... For PlayStation, there has to be like, okay, naughty-dog emulator.

sucker punch emulator, like emulators per studio in order for it to work, because each of those studios fucked with the, uh, fucked with the, uh,

the cells so much. But, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't, to keep up with a, I had this one emulator. I,

specifically, I just really wanted to play, um, Dante's Inferno. So I downloaded it just for that, which was a fucking hassle get all set up. And then I started playing God of Word. I'm like,

this shit isn't worth it. It's not worth like, you know, isn't there a 360 emulator? That's probably better. They're probably, well, what I,

the one that I was playing, it was better for manipulating, like, basically just, oh, let me 4K this shit, let me just It was really, it really maxim. It was good for, if you wanted to stream, because it made the games look fucking gorgeous. But, um, other than that, I remember Dante's Inferno being pretty good.

Like, I remember liking it. Super fun. I mean, if you, yeah. I liked it. I liked the beginning because the very beginning you killed death. I thought that was pretty hype. Yeah, there's tits in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, there's tits.

Fucking, yeah, Beatrice's tits are actually throughout the game. pretty great. You keep flashing back and there's just tits always for whatever reason. I'm like, well, it kept me in. I was like, this game's awesome. Fucking Mark Hamels is dad. It was cool. You fight, you fight Dante's dad, which is voiced by Mark Hamill, which is pretty cool.

That's awesome. I didn't know that. The guy, Dante is voiced by, I fucking forgot his name. I'm sorry, dude, but he voices Dracula and the Netflix Castlevania. California? Really? Yeah. What? Dante. Dante's Inferno

game voice actors That's crazy Yeah dude It's fucking it's I really like that game Graham Metavish That's it That's it That's nuts

That's so fucking crazy Yeah Graham's in a lot of shit man Are I got anything else We're gonna wrap it up now guys Yeah Let's do one more One final question And so Papa Jesus wrote in

And he says something that I can't read because I didn't learn that language and then he says parentheses that's French for Hey, what's up my boys? I have a bit I have a bit of a confession that I hope I don't get crucified for.

You don't want to end up like Hank Hill. On two separate occasions, I tried to play Bioshock all the way through but couldn't bring myself to finish it. I love the art style. Yeah, the first one, I think. I love the art style theme and story,

but something about the gameplay just doesn't click with me. Has there ever been any media that you really wanted to like, but you just couldn't enjoy. Much love and respect to you as usual, and hopefully you don't attack me for my hot take. I will, but only internally.

Okay. Man, I'm trying to think, I'm sure there's a couple of these. I mean, I feel like D&D is the thing for me. That's, I feel like D&D is the thing. Although granted,

I haven't really played it yet, but like, it just feels like one of those things where it's like, I don't know if I could ever really do this. To me it's just a chore. It's so demanding. It requires so much coordination.

But it's a chore. That's the coordinate. That's what I'm talking. Yeah, exactly that. The coordination. The coordination, the narrative of it is fucking brutal. That is the most brutal part of it. But the thing is that I've never had more fun playing anything other than D&D. Like, as much as I've loved,

I love video games, but like I've never had more fun than playing D&D. Like, it's always like, whoa, I'm having an unbelievable time. Even when I'm DM, I did a D I DM'd for like 15 people where I did a battle royale. And that shit was hectic. That was a nightmare. It was crazy.

But I had so much fun playing. We like, we like had made a party of it. Everybody came over. We like bought food. We like all had drinks. And it was a great time. But there's so much shit that goes on.

Right. So it's like, it's, it's like every time I played it. I've had a fantastic time. It's just coordinated with the homies. Like we would like, whatever.

So it's not going to happen. And if you can get that club going, you got a time and designated, like I know some of my friends that do have that every Thursday. I have it too. Every Sunday I play. Yeah, so like that, that works and stuff like that.

But I totally get the sentiment because I'm in the same boat with that. I had a hard time with the, like I feel like I should like the Witcher way more than I do. I kind of am with you. Yeah. I like it a lot, but like I still haven't finished anything.

I haven't finished the Witcher three at all. I finally finish. I finally, I forced myself because I'm basically I'm like running out of time my well I'm running at a time to have like more time to do anything um my lady's gonna come living with me living with me next week so like

being playing a fucking RPG and shit like like with free it's it's basically it's like I'm gonna cut my time even more so let me try to finish this story and it was hard it was hard like I like the characters I love gerald he's fucking he's such a sarcastic cunt but like I love it and the way that he like approaches shit. I like, I do like the characters.

The tits are awesome. And then of course I, I, after I beat it, I just real quick dove back into the game. It gave Gerald the biggest penis of possible that's just erected. So he wears no pants. He has his boots on, but he has no pants on. And then all the women are naked, which is cool. I didn't see a thing to make all the men naked, which I felt was a little sexist, but I was like, you know, whatever. It might be there, but when I was looking at the mods,

it wasn't just, like, readily available, just to make everyone naked. And I'm like, I'm just desecrate. Desecrate this fucking, here this game. It's so funny. Dude, like, there's the, um, um, Horson, is the guy's name. Uh, Horson, whatever is, Horstin Jr.

This horse and Jones. Yeah, Horst and Wells. He's a guy from Skellago, right? He, yeah, he's the guy that, um, no, I think he's from Novagrad. I don't think he's in Skellega. I think he's, um, well, he's the guy that, uh, he tortures a sense, tortures, uh,

horrors like, oh yeah, yeah, he's, yeah, he's in, yeah, he's in,

so like, so you're in a, you're in a very, serious situation. You're beating the fuck out of this guy and like, Gerald's hard dick is just,

it's so funny. It's so fucking funny. Like, he's beating the fuck out of this guy's begging to stop. When you have, when you have the, um,

like the bare knuckle fights, your shirt is off. You have your gloves on and your dick is out. Your dick is hard as a rock. It's so, So scared. Can you imagine getting beat up by a guy who is a wrecked? No, an erect witcher. An erect superhuman. You're getting, that's like getting beat up by Chief with his hard dick. That is very intimidating. It's very intimidating.

I don't know for me. There's even a normal guy coming at you with a hard dick like right now. Like if a guy just busted through your door and his dick was just hard, like it's fucking intimidating. You're like, oh, fuck. Like, what the fuck? I got to kill this guy. This guy has bad intentions. I got to hurt him. This guy is habitually line stepping. And we got up for me. It got me so absorbed. I think after the, as soon as you leave Nova,

as soon as you get to, no, Novagrad is the first city, right? As soon as you finish the part with that guy, the Red Baron dude, I got like absorbed into it

and I couldn't stop playing it. Like I like that guy. Like, the character's a great, man. It's just there's a, there's a little, there's just a couple of,

there's like things here and there about it. I think there's probably that game control-wise. Like that game, if you can tell it's old. Oh, definitely. That game got like, if that game got like an HD remaster and like they smoothed out a lot of the gameplay stuff, they kind of made the combat a little more flowy.

I think that game would be amazing. Yeah, Witcher 3 is weird because like Witcher 3 to me, like I remember when Wish 3 came out and everybody was comparing it to Fallout 4 and people were like, wow, Fallout 4 is super fucking dated for compared to this. And they weren't wrong. But like I feel like when I look at Witcher 3 now, I feel like it's as dated today as Fallout 4 was. like not in the visuals or like I think I think it looks gorgeous though but like definitely in the way that it runs sometimes uh definitely in the way that you move around

and the way combat works it does it just feels a little bit feels like a really polished game from the 360 you know what I mean where like yeah we didn't quite nail it just yet what is I agree with that way it's good yeah I like a lot about it but like for some reason like I always

I play a lot of it and then I get to a point where I'm just like I don't have time and then I put it down and then I come back to it and I'm like I don't know what the fuck I was doing though

you don't you don't you're not you're not you're not a per you can you don't think it on long enough to finish RPGs but I feel like they're just that one in particular

even for me I am an RPG junkie like when I I can do so many side missions at side quests whatever and have a good time if it's reasonable like say this shit

like say for example to you know the main story is just to find Syria. That's the main thing. The amount you have to run back and forth everywhere, it's so fucking unfocused. And you can't stay on topic.

You have to skip around to other quests to further other ones that are just an eyesore. Do this and I can't, you have to do this to do that. I did so many side missions. Fuck that shit. By the time I was done. Fuck that shit. Like I finished so unfocused.

I finished Richard 3 at like level like 79 because of how much side shit I did. Like I was so much stronger than a wild hunt Like when they fought me they were like, yo, what the fuck, dude? Why are we worried about the wild hunt at all? This one witcher is just sweet. Like they'd summon their little dogs and I would just light attack, Sever them.

I was just cutting people's heads off. Just finish them off with a critical hit with one fucking light hit. What the fuck is going on? I know exactly. I was like a god. I got like the fucking, I got like the fire stream. So I would just fire stream cook them and they'd run around and set the rest of the place off I was so strong by the end of that game

But yet it does feel like it does feel like very fetch questy at moments I gotta go over here and talk to this guy about a pan It's way too much it's way it's way like I'm trying to I'll I'm basically it was like I'm trying to speed run this essentially because I just trying to beat it And when I thought like oh the climax is here yes and then it was not that I was like, what the fuck? The moment where you think the game's over, then there's a whole other 20 more hours of story,

and you're like, what? I was like, what the fuck is happening? I love that. I love that part. I love that part of the game personally. But I, if I were fucking 16 years old, I would have loved that so fucking much. I just did not have time where I was like,

oh, I was talking to Jojo and I was like, I think I'm going to beat it today. And I'm like, if I'm not going to beat it today, I'm just done with the game. Fuck this. And then I wasn't even close. And I was like, but then I had to. I mean, I can't abandon it.

So she was just laughing at me that, like, I, I played the game probably five days more than I thought I was going to because I thought I was so close to the end. It's crazy how it's like, because you think it's over. Like there's a part in the game. There's like, that's act three before you, because it's act, I would say it's act three and it acts four is where it finishes. You think it's done. You think it like, you really think it's over. You're like, okay, the game's done now. The climax is happening.

And then it's just not done at all. You're like, I had to do more shit after that huge encounter. And then it's like, hey, come with me to do this. I'm like, no, can we just go kill these fuckers? Can we please go kill this? Not yet, Derek, you don't have enough stuff yet. It's the same thing.

It reminds me of, uh, Red Dead Redemption 2 was one of those where it was just like, this is such a fucking big, like, it is astounding that I managed to finish that game. Right. I mean, it's, it's amazing. But, like, I am so bad at sticking with these things because, like, I just, I, there's so much else that I have to play for sacred symbols. There's so much else that, like, I have to do. Like, I can't just, like, I got to write shit.

I can't just sit here and, like, stream all the time or play, like, video games all the time. And I, and I'm playing different things and I'm, like, absorbing, like, 10 different stories at once sometimes. It gets fucking overwhelming. And then, like, Red That Red That Red That is just approaching the end. And then you go to fucking Cuba. And then you're like, what the fuck? That's hilarious. No, no, no, that's not even close.

That's, that's for real the middle of the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you think like, but you feel like it's approaching the end and it's not. And then you get back from Cuba and then there's still so much left. And then the game ends. And then there's eight more hours after the game ends. The epilogue. The epilogue, which is a masterpiece because that is, that is some of the best long-form storytelling ever seen in my life other than a book.

It's amazing. Oh, yeah. But there's a period of time where you're in Cuba and you're like, yo, where's Jose? We need him. We're around Spanish people. And then Jose comes out. You're like, Jose, you're the goat. You are saving our lives.

But why are we in Cuba? I don't know how that happens. It's such an insane part. Like, up the boat goes down. The boat goes down. Or you know, you jump off the boat. And then everyone finds themselves. somewhere in Cuba and they're like hey what's going on and thinking of Cuba in the 1800s I think of

is just a jungle but apparently there's civilization there and there's this war that's going on that you're kind of involved in a little bit you're trying to help these freedom fighters and I'm just like it's a little it felt a little bit of like a Matthew Vaughn type of a movie you know yeah it's it's this random you know what it reminds me of it reminds me of in spider man two where you're watching Spider-Man 2, and it's like, it's a superhero movie. And then when it ends,

it's a superhero movie as well. But then there's that one scene where it's just the evil dead. And like, it's in the hospital room and, like, the tentacles are just, like, fucking, like, and people are screaming. There's, like, definite death that's happening.

And it's shot like a fucking horror movie. Right. That's that moment in Red Dead Edition 2. We're like, the whole game is a Western from beginning to end, but then you're in this weird, like, adventure movie in the middle of it where it's like

Pirates of the Caribbean or some shit yeah it's like Far Crysis it becomes pirates you're like what the fuck and then you go back to a Western

and you're like what the fuck is that and what's funny is that that scene after expecting J.K. Simmons to throw a chair at me what's funny is that that scene afterwards

it gives you a moment to decompress because you ride your horseback and then DeAngelo plays and your mind is like what the fuck just happened oh right right right what I was just

just a part of an action movie huh is there anything for me is there anything most things I really try to like I enjoy because I was like that with reading for a long time until I started choosing the stuff I read and I started liking reading a lot and then like

maybe I don't know a game a game that wins how win finish I can't bring much to the finish the game I don't know it's not that you can't bring yourself to finish it's more it's more like something that you you tried to like or that you know because that's happening right now a red day

Last of Us too. I actually really like that video game. I think that video game has a lot of really, really, really good parts, a lot of like really good storytelling moments. I just think that the way the story is given to you is the problem. Like, I think that could have been like the perspective that Colin has of that game where he thinks like one of the best games ever. I think if you played as Abby first,

it would have been that game, actually. If you went through all of Abby's shit and then you got to the point where you killed Joel, And then you keep going as her. And then eventually you play as Ellie and you see what happened with Ellie at the end. Like, Ellie's part is all the end. And you cut down the game by like maybe like a 10, you take 10 hours out of the game. And you only play as like Abby first and then Ellie. It's just really, it's just really poorly paste.

Yeah. It's like a, it's the worst thing about it. It's a decent game. I like, I actually like Abby. I like her issue with Owen. I like, I like the wolves that you meet in that group, other than the main. Boss Wolf, that nigga didn't have to exist at all. Like, I don't know why he was in a game, actually.

I don't know why he was in the game. He was the most used his character in a game by far. He didn't need to exist. I don't think I like the single character in that game. I liked a lot of them. I like Abby because Abby throughout her journey. I like Shiv, that is named, the little person that shapes their head. I don't know.

I like them. I enjoy. I hate Ellie. Nothing stuck with me. Hate Ellie. Like Jesse a lot, actually. Jesse was trying to help. He went and literally found Tommy.

Like the whole reason why. He was like, we can, we can find Tommy right now. We don't have to engage people. He's like, I got to do it. He's like, all right, you're fucking stupid. He just went and found Tommy. I don't know, man. It's hard for me to.

I like the doggy. He's so nice. It's hard for me to like that game because like all of the, all of the writing tricks that they use are like incredibly transparent. And it's so, it's handled so much less professionally or less competently than the original game was. where like in this in this game it feels like they're trying like into like nothing feels natural the thing the thing about last of us two is i feel like last of us too was under a extreme microscope because of the time which happened and everything that led up to it coming out it was under like a very focused micro everybody was nitpicking every problem but as i'm playing it now way later on well i'm just enjoying i'm just playing a game you know i'm not playing it to hate it or like it i actually enjoy it i know that the problems are there it has problems it's not it's not fucking divinity around you're just playing it's Original scene too is a perfect fucking fucking fucking dragon age origin it's an amazing story like

It's has its problems, but while I'm playing the game I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying how the new weapons you get I'm enjoying the um the way you can like tactically encounter a lot of the fights I mean we we've gone we've gone so much into that shit I just think I I genuinely think yeah it just boils down to simply that at least for in my perspective why it's so disappointing is that it was so unnecessary. It was so unnecessary. Some of the decisions that they've made seem so unnecessary. It seemed like decisions that would satisfy just a handful of people. And when it comes to being an artist and you have consumers,

I feel like it's stupid to do that. I understand it's your art. I totally get that. But when people are hiring you, people are employing you, You're doing something specifically to have a good response and to be profitable. You kind of just, you shouldn't really do that anymore. If you're releasing something independently, you fucking do whatever you want. Because whatever response you get, you'll be happy with it's your own shit.

But when people are like counting on you to release something really enjoyable and you're just like, let's do this because I want things to be this way. Now, some people may disagree with me. I think me if I didn't want any if I did not want to do that say if I was creating music and I don't want to please people I will be independent and I will release what I want and whatever if people like it cool if they don't whatever it's just my art yeah but if I sign onto a label and they're like we're counting on you to fucking like release something really inspiring or to really to really maximize our profits and stuff like that I mean all right cool Cool, cool. I want to put my spin on it, but I also know what my audience wants.

So I'm going to get what they want to. You kind of do half and half, at least in my opinion. That's just kind of like what you do. And people that rail against that, I feel like, well, why are you, what do you do? Why are you actively trying to push back against what people want? There's a storytelling aspect to it. There's a more understandable way to do things. And I feel like, I don't know, I just feel like if you are. are partnering with people. They're trusting you to do something. You're making this specifically

for fans, not for yourself. So I'm saying, I think that's like, it almost be like, it's like the idea that, um, at,

at times, it's like Ryan Johnson was ours. At times, that's what I mean. You gotta realize that we've compared that to them already. You know, like you got to find a middle ground where like I, I enjoy,

I enjoy the story I'm creating. But also this is, this is more or less for the people, that are going to absorb it. It's not just for me. I actually don't mind, I actually don't mind when, like, people take risks of that because I think it's the reason we got something like Death Stranding,

which is, like, a massive risk and massively bizarre and, like, super experimental. Well, Death Stranding didn't have an audience or anything to like... No, but, no, but Kojima does, you know, and I'm sure... And Death was very divisive, you know? Well, I'm sure if a big studio was like, hey, Kojima, we need you to make something like Metal Gear, you know? I don't know if that would have been as interesting

as just letting Kojima just run wild with this. I get why they wanted to have this big impact with the Last of Us.

Like I get, I get why they wanted, you know, we're going to subvert expectations of it. I just think they wrote it really transparently.

And like, because everything feels, like, Ellie feels unrealistically evil, and Abby feels unrealistically, like,

nice. Like, why wouldn't it sound recently nice? I would say, the game, it's, the game itself has a bias.

And that's really annoying when it's like super transparent. It's like everything, everything from like, oh, isn't it, isn't it coincidental how Abby is stronger? She has the better weapons. All of her interactions with other players or other characters is positive.

Oh, when she's, her interactions with the dogs are positive. You're petting them and you're playing with them and you're getting to know them. And the only. action that Ellie has with dogs that she's brutally murdering them. I wouldn't say that's exactly transparent.

I would say there is a degree of bias there, you know, because Abby's different character, obviously. Well, it's just framed intentionally to make you feel something. And that's how everything works. That's how stories work. But when I can see, when I can see the guy behind the curtain,

so obviously where he's like, hey, it's me, I'm making you feel this. It just becomes hard to feel anything. And then I just, I went through the whole game, just feeling like nothing. For me, for me, I can, I like the game because of the fact that it's, it just, it does the idea of, um, of people kind of learning to just let go of shit. Because throughout the game, if after Abby already did what she did, you know, she was already consumed by rape, she kind of lets go of the hatred, you know, just like, I. Well, of course she did because she got revenge.

Well, no, well, the thing is that she kind of realizes the wrong she did, you know. I mean, because she comes back. She doesn't, though. She literally does. She literally does. I mean, she killed Joel. She kills Joel in the very beginning. and that's the intro to it, right?

So that very horrible act happens. But then what happened is throughout the game, she realizes what she would have done to save what's his name, Shiv, you know? So it turns into an idea of like her becoming similar to what Joel is. And then her and Abby becoming and Ellie becoming just this. But my biggest problem with the game is that Ali,

Ellie was my favorite character in the first one. And I hate her. I hate her and two. I can't stand her because she's just. Yeah, because they, wanted you to. Well, yeah, obviously they wanted to say that that's a storytelling aspect, you know? I just think that game was just under a huge microscope.

I think it was under a huge microscope and people didn't get a chance. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. We got to. It wasn't under, I don't want to. It wasn't under a microscope until there was a little bit of like some shit that was leaked. But they worked on the game the entire time. They had this narrative and storyboard. Oh, yeah. No, I understand that. But I thought when people looked at it,

they were like, this is true because they're doing this and they're doing that from the very moment that it got leaked, people's perception were off the biggest in the fact they saw Joel died in the beginning and that was from that moment on people had a very like very crass depiction of it. Though they were problems

they were problems They just had it prematurely They had premature Because people would have had that same reaction If they would have played it going in blind And be like what the fuck What the fuck is this man Like I think if it didn't get delayed

It wouldn't have had the same The same I think it would be mostly the same Yeah why wouldn't it? Because I'm not mad about That's not that's not not you and that's not mad about leagues, I'm not, that's not, that's not you.

And that's not, that's not us, because we're, we're able to subtract us from that. But that's, I think that's some people. That's why some people love that game. There are people that love, like, there's actually a lot of people that love that game. Like a lot, like the vast majority of people gave that game an outstanding rating. There's a lot of people that love Big Bain theory.

Like, I don't, what is that. Same, true. I understand. I don't get it, but they exist. But that's what I'm, there's a lot of, people that like a lot of stuff because I feel like they Colin would kill you. He just

like compared the last of us to Big Bank Theory. He'd be so furious. I'm not comparing the last of us to be. I'm comparing consumers that people just consume they'll just consume anything. Let's end the podcast on that. Fuck Big Bank Theory. Fuck that show. That show is so stupid. There is

no reason why me Kingston Jamison should not like that show. That show is built for me literally. And it's I hate it. I hate it so much. Ooh, I hate that show.

Colin. All right. Colin, the big main theory is infinitely better than last of this part. That's crazy. Well, there goes the live shows. All right.

See you guys. All right. That nigga ain't going to watch this shit. Whatever. No, he'll never, he'll never hear this. He's too fucking busy.

He is. Good Lord. Well, if you like what you heard today, consider supporting us over. at patreon.com slash the snark tank one dollar a month gets you access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes uh five dollars gets you access to a question uh five dollars gets you a question uh question right on the show ten dollars gets you access to our discord server that's one payment in you're in for good and 25

gets your name dyslexically right at the end of the show which i will now do and also uh my solo episode will be up in the coming days so sick then it's uh then it's Derek I think next month right in the coming days in this wait when did when did a Sweenies go live like before I went to New York Was it this month? It was last month. It was last month, but it was early. I'm kind of late. Yeah.

But you can... Maybe a little bit. Just a little bit. You can go, I guess, like, the end of next month, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. Bazinga, Abinga. Bazinga. Bazing.

Come me down. Three, two, one. Evil Krillin doesn't stick his dick in a dishwasher. Fek. Oh, my God. Fico facial. I totally understand that. That's a good joke. Fecal facial fiesta.

Me and my friends have kill a man on our bucket list. Obie won't you blow me. The guy who threw his shoes at George Bush, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Grayson. Zach Cool Number. It's not gay if W wear socks. Parentheses. I'm barefoot. Oh, my God.

The nerd therapist. Detective Halligan Slayer of Druids. Carlos Aguilar gets no bitch. Oh, ah, come on. Get homo with the man's ass. Tevin de Black, Kremlin de Gremlin. What? I, Christopher, Kremlin de Gremlin, I think.

I, Christopher Ramaldon, I want to be absolutely railed. But in the, what is this fucking... You got to quit with the fucking random capitalizations. It's throwing me the fuck off. What are you giggling at? It's a screenshot from Castlevania. Dracula was like, put enough talk. It's morbid time.

Is it from, is it from Cynthia tonight when he's about to fight freaking, um? He has my big black character. Yes. It's not a joke. I need my head. Kukogen's, Kokejins in paradise. Mintberry, let me the fucking back alley and past dealer. George Hardar Martin.

I want to see Chris versus Derek in the ring and the loser gets fucked with no loob. Mitch McConnell, tortoise shell, St. Maxie. Sweeney, probably grunts like Tim Allen during sex. False to wall. Okay, you said it right. Megamannix 8 guy in the lack of anything funny to say this time. Avi, I wrote my Patreon name in a horny days and would like to sincerely apologize. I became a patron and spent 25 bucks not to be able to come up with a clever name. Wage Slay 583.

What if JFK's head just did that? I feel gay. I feel gay. Fuck you. Can you fucking imagine there was no bullet? He just blew up. Holy shit. He looks over.

He just got overwhelmed. What was his wife's name again? Lady J.M.K. I think her name is Margaret Kennedy. I forgot her name. All I know is that she's got a thick ass booty. She had a fat ass, bro. Like for real, dude, she had a fat ass.

That backside when she's grabbing them brains, dude. This niggas said when she's grabbing them brains. You got a take you. When she's grabbing them brains. She got a fat ass, bro. She's got them apple bottom jeans, dude. She's got them boots with the fur. She's got a fat ass in the 60s.

Just imagine jerking off to a woman's ass in an assassination video. You know, I paused the JFK tape to jerk off to his wife's ass. Bro, you bro, those people back in the day, like they saw, you know, you know, people back in the day, they, that, they saw that shit and they were jacking off for sure. Because that was like, sounds like porn back in the day right there. Yeah, sure. You couldn't see that much backside. Her name is Jacqueline Kennedy. There you go.

Jacqueline. That's right. Jackie. Jackie. That's right. All right. Shuffling to the door, Sonic hesitantly peers through the people. Dead inside. Arcane Furukawa, the Papini brothers

and porium of bullet-filled uncles. Oh. Why she got that much ass? Oh, damn. That's so sad. The National, Richmond, Virginia, April 30th, Tiny URL.com slash sacred rules.

That's so. Sweeney, it's okay. My girlfriend doesn't feel either. That's so contextually sad. That, like, in the middle, in the middle of everybody probably absorbing that and looking through that and like, oh, my God, the president was just killed. Someone's like, hey, yo, look at her ass, though. Like, that's just so. God damn.

That ass is fat. The vice president, dad ass, though. Someone's like, that. That ass is fat. And then everyone in the room is like, yeah, it is. Continue with the. He does that Miles Morales thing where, like, they get. get to they get to wherever it is they're going everybody gets out of the car some guy just like he

sniffs the chair that video of miles of the thing where gwen was is so fucking funny dude i don't even know what you're talking about oh my god i'll find and i'll put in the chat right now there's a lot of videos like that but like there's also one from like this guy at like a like a fighting game tournament where like this woman's like sitting down next to him and then she gets up and he just like he pretends to tie his shoes but he's sniffing this chair oh my fucking god i need to see that it is um Oh my God. What is wrong with these fucking mutants, dude?

I don't know, man. Like, what do you, what, you want to... Go ahead, go ahead. I just... Sweetie, it's okay. My girlfriend isn't real either. I have PPSD. Riber 525 in the Sun,

the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation, racist. Thank your favorite podcast, the Shart Dank. With me, your host, Kurt Lasserman, a black person and Ted Bundy. What? I don't know. Wait, what? I don't know, I don't know, man.

The fun fact of... Like, it's the regular trailer the whole time. It's the regular trailer. And then all of a sudden, he just sniffs where Spider-Gwen was. And it's like... Fun fact in the 12th century sunglasses were first made for Chinese judges to hide their facial expressions in court. Have a nice day. There's no way that's real.

So this person, this person's like a snapple fact. Yeah. Yeah. Every new episode, he comes in with this shit that's like, it could be... Like, sometimes it's true. but then like I'm pretty sure this is a fake-ass thing tell him Steve Dave Antifus Maximus a wielder of the enchanted bike lock

God is dead because Amber Hurd killed him John Strickland the unfortunate naming of NBA coach Steve Kerr's son Big Boo Limpy Sniggins Parentheses Lil' Merck's 1889 Downey McFrowny If I had a nickel for every time Chris was on a podcast Talking of Alien fucking his bestiality I have two nickels

I came looking for man's butt See I know who you are Chris Hansom The First Church of Keith David now accepting donations I once witnessed a man steal a handicapped stalled door at a school it was the only one that locked

what oh man drunken doulohan priors uh breaking benjamin shepirro come man the men have come Blake 896 fucking kill me hey boss uh

hey boss wants Sweene to know that his taste in movies is bad and Shang chi was mid as fuck Ryan Lucchese uh or Luccazi I've heard it's apparently.

Whatever. Whatever we say it is. Whatever. It's whatever I fucking say it is. You better change your name. Yeah, it's pasta. That's what it is. He never said anything to me and he has my direct contact info.

So like that's his problem. Ethan Teague, sloshy scout, never going to make you cry, never going to say goodbye, never going to tell a lie and hurt you. Help, my penis is an anti-Semite. I am alfarias. I don't know.

Hardhead skydiver. Alaska oil, field, trash, Marcus Shorten Game Patrol 25 Nicky Ziggi Murder Asended Proud subscriber of the N-word podcast Lobotomized Jesus

and his merry band of figure nuggets Nuggets the non-binary Galaxy Quest fan who has Alan Rickman Funkl Pop cum jar Jesus Christ Remember our Alex

I don't know how to pronounce this man You don't care because you still support us But like I can't read this Just straight up Like it's I've not been able to read this The entire time

Paying good money man Hey man you know It's too bad Because I literally can't The only stick I touch while driving is my penis. Perthases I'm asked right while driving. Horaceous spicy mushrooms wasn't an escalation, but a brief moment of levitation. Sweeney's clown pussy goes honk, honk, cummy, cummy, yum inside my tummy.

Jackson Absege, Bradley Brave Hugger Derek, Huggard Derek, the movie theater manager, Atheir and Chris Gait, Myfigerian, Hunting Ass, all hands-on Captain Anderson's dick after that sock to Udina. Oh, man. please set aside my donations until there's enough money to send Kingston to a public speaking class Melfast won Warlock Hexblade supremacist who recently achieved lichdom Nice

Richter 86 and as always King of Hephazard rounding us out The King of Hapazard Let's go The King We fucked at Richmond We fucked I'm such a fucking asshole

That's true We fucked I hope they have a significant other I'm like ah, ruin your relationship We had sex So heinous Yeah All right well

Not lying Bye guys Click and collect Order confirmed Dad tomorrow can we start a band Can we become robots Affirmative Can we go crab battling

That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps.

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